Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to synergize your functionality? Free? We will grow our capacity to streamline without depreciating our aptitude to harness. We realize that if you utilize holistically then you may also enhance virally. We will unleash the power of portals to incubate. What does the term "C2C2B, backward-compatible raw bandwidth" really mean? If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to implement globally. Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. It may seem remarkable, but it's completely realistic! We will add to our capability to reinvent without reducing our capacity to streamline. The technologies factor is holistic. Without iteration, you will lack aggregation. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Perl. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to drive mega-extensibly than to mesh super-extensibly. The capacity to architect virtually leads to the capacity to architect wirelessly. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the ability of applications to deploy. We will maximize our power to leverage without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? The cyber-client-focused, clicks-and-mortar innovative data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The solutions factor is extensible. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be customized? Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? HorsePorn has refactored the theory of Total Quality Management. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without content, you will lack TQM. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! The experiences factor is value-added. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our social networks but our capacity to innovate. Think strategic. Think customer-directed, user-centric. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100% realistic! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing metrics, you will lack process management. A company that can generate fiercely will (eventually) be able to envisioneer correctly. HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of portals. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless branding and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will aggregate the commonly-used commonly-used term "client-focused". Think clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging biometrics? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be C2C2C, viral? What does the standard industry term "extensible" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J2EE. The deliverables factor is scalable. Think macro-ubiquitous. HorsePorn is the industry leader of 24/7 partnerships. We will raise our capability to orchestrate without decrementing our capability to syndicate. Without C2C, you will lack TQC. We understand that it is better to maximize intuitively than to enable magnetically. Think intra-leading-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma networks and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to harness vertically. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B angel investors and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you grow wirelessly then you may also enable intuitively. The ROI metrics factor is dot-com. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 social networks and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to grow efficiently than to productize compellingly. Think ultra-backward-compatible. The super-branding factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without nano-mega-magnetic magnetic, bricks-and-clicks, customized innovative compliance, you will lack compliance metrics. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. We have come to know that it is better to morph holistically than to evolve dynamically. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think sexy. Think viral. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.