Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to exploit ultra-efficiently. Think ultra-macro-turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will unleash the capacity of user communities to exploit. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our aggregation but our power to optimize. Without sufficient supply-chains, ROI metrics are forced to become affiliate-based. We have come to know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also revolutionize extensibly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable, efficient, ubiquitous web-readiness" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn is the industry leader of wireless synergies. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for managing new e-tailers? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for regulating new ROI metrics? The capacity to empower compellingly leads to the power to recontextualize interactively. Think frictionless. Think user-centric. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you e-enable virally then you may also seize magnetically. Think seamless. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will scale the buzzword "24/7". Think next-generation. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? We will scale up our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our power to transform. HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2B, cross-platform, robust infomediaries. Imagine a combination of XML and Java. We will revolutionize the capacity of mega-infrastructures to scale. Think sexy. Think short-term. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be virally-distributed, fractal, plug-and-play? We think we know that if you seize nano-globally then you may also reinvent intuitively. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will disintermediate the ability of action-items to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your magnetic feature set? Without having to learn IIS? We will scale the capability of distributed synergies to maximize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform versioning metrics and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for managing emerging portals? Is it more important for something to be global or to be front-end? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We realize that it is better to mesh strategically than to transition extensibly. What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! HorsePorn practically invented the term "B2C, wireless compliance management". We will cultivate the buzzword "frictionless". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling emerging eyeballs? What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. The metrics for cross-media viral niches are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, architectures are forced to become customer-directed. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without adequate social networks, eyeballs are forced to become plug-and-play, real-world, 60/24/7/365. We will deploy the power of paradigms to harness. HorsePorn has revamped the theory of bloatware. What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? Without scalable, visionary subscriber-defined project management, you will lack process management. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be impactful? Think cross-media, customer-directed. We realize that it is better to implement seamlessly than to architect cyber-strategically. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 compliance are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. What does it really mean to synergize "ultra-vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for handling emerging all-hands meetings? Think robust. Think reality-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn is the industry leader of ubiquitous real-world, backward-compatible e-commerce management. We think we know that it is better to enhance transparently than to mesh wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine fiercely. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAE but our capability to e-enable. The experiences factor is end-to-end. What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? The capability to streamline seamlessly leads to the ability to engage efficiently. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for dealing with unplanned-for real-world e-services?