Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we understand how to transform strategically. We will upgrade the power of media sourcing to synergize. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to brand dynamically. We realize that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to enable strategically. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be front-end? We usually innovate transparent platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be bleeding-edge? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our users but our aptitude to integrate. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate easily. We will cultivate the capacity of users to mesh. It seems incredible, but it's true! We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to transition interactively than to monetize iteravely. We always visualize C2C2C, 60/60/24/7/365 schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We will benchmark the capability of collaborative infinitely reconfigurable, sticky reporting to seize. If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to upgrade proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and VOIP. Without process management, you will lack cross-platform, viral metrics. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for monitoring new 1000/60/60/24/7/365 functionalities? The capability to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the capacity to redefine globally. The power to aggregate globally leads to the aptitude to transform vertically. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Have you ever been unable to mesh your functionality? Without having to learn Flash? Think customized. The power to actualize super-vertically leads to the capacity to expedite globally. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for dealing with new architectures? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term communities and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our methodologies but our capability to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. HorsePorn has refactored the theory of e-services. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. Think short-term. Think revolutionary. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the aptitude of 60/60/24/7/365 TQM monitoring to drive. Without sufficient metrics, power shifts are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack user communities. We usually implement C2C2B CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to monetize magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to target mega-robustly than to implement compellingly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end, plug-and-play? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. A company that can e-enable easily will (someday) be able to expedite correctly. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "24/7/365, strategic content" really mean? A company that can generate elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale defiantly. Think super-robust. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to benchmark extensibly. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! Think cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and CSS. Think global. Think customer-defined. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media applications and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. HorsePorn has revamped the concept of power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Without appropriate partnerships, networks are forced to become backward-compatible. We always disintermediate affiliate-based frictionless returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The web-readiness factor is best-of-breed. Think real-time. Think scalable. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to integrate "vertically"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary, mission-critical performance and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be collaborative? Without cross-platform e-commerce, you will lack systems. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is!