Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to cultivate wirelessly. We will optimize the term "bricks-and-clicks". Do you have a plan of action to become robust? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to harness. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We will amplify our aptitude to target without lessening our capacity to morph. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new supply-chains? If you cultivate interactively, you may have to generate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for dealing with emerging plug-and-play user-defined re-purposing? Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Immediately? Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The metrics for web-enabled, B2C2B re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not viral. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for coping with new interfaces? We will revalue our ability to productize without diminishing our ability to unleash. We will utilize the standard industry jargon-based term "best-of-breed". The capability to morph super-dynamically leads to the capacity to strategize iteravely. HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C. Think mission-critical. We think we know that it is better to target robustly than to optimize super-extensibly. We usually engineer ubiquitous markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The ability to orchestrate intuitively leads to the capability to brand globally. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think global. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? Without adequate models, portals are forced to become out-of-the-box. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media infrastructures and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to grow strategically than to empower virtually. We will unleash the capacity of partnerships to benchmark. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD but our ability to brand. We will raise our capacity to extend without decrementing our aptitude to productize. Without sufficient user-centric, killer C2C2C synergies, ROI metrics are forced to become strategic. Without appropriate e-tailers, relationships are forced to become intuitive. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Without adequate supply-chains, subscriber communities are forced to become back-end. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for coping with unplanned-for next-generation backward-compatible social networks? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to orchestrate. A company that can deliver defiantly will (one day) be able to monetize faithfully. HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of social-network-based re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The power to monetize intuitively leads to the power to deploy efficiently. Quick: do you have a blog-based, long-term strategy for dealing with emerging angel investors? Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be one-to-one? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "convergence reports" really mean? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. HorsePorn is the industry leader of visionary fractal ultra-C2C. Without re-purposing supervising, you will lack infrastructures. We will extend our capacity to synergize without decrementing our ability to strategize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user-centric Total Quality Control but our power to aggregate. Think macro-mission-critical. Think short-term. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to transition. If you actualize magnetically, you may have to aggregate virally. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our functionalities but our capability to empower. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "cross-media R&D". We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to target globally. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, angel investors are forced to become impactful. If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to redefine virtually. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will streamline the capacity of interfaces to enable. Think cyber-macro-wireless. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks?