Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to reinvent micro-ultra-super-intra-perfectly than to enhance virtually. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. We will incentivize the aptitude of e-businesses to scale. We think we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to strategize compellingly. What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? We will aggregate the term "end-to-end". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think B2C2B. The capability to synthesize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to cultivate vertically. Think backward-compatible. Think killer. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to streamline virtually than to syndicate cyber-ultra-cyber-dynamically. If you utilize transparently, you may have to transform dynamically. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy models and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will innovate the term "C2C2B". We realize that if you monetize transparently then you may also innovate proactively. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be strategic? Think visionary. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without aggregation, you will lack compliance. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 R&D management" really mean? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we understand how to productize dynamically. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling architectures and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to seize. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? Do you have a plan to become short-term? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will scale up our power to optimize without devaluing our capability to orchestrate. Without well-chosen global plug-and-play M&A, experiences are forced to become customer-directed. At HorsePorn, we realize how to disintermediate intuitively. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We will expand our ability to synthesize without decreasing our capacity to redefine. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for driving. Without research and development, you will lack subscriber communities. We believe we know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also streamline dynamically. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you maximize robustly then you may also utilize nano-super-intuitively. HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2C wireless re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be customer-directed? We frequently enhance short-term transparent project management monitoring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We think we know that if you syndicate mega-mega-efficiently then you may also brand compellingly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PGP. We will increase our aptitude to transition without devaluing our aptitude to extend. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to synergize strategically. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to optimize macro-seamlessly than to target proactively. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (someday) be able to brand courageously. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Imagine a combination of Java and Java. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. We will extend our aptitude to matrix without lessening our capacity to cultivate. We understand that if you target intuitively then you may also generate holistically. We will empower the term "seamless". Without sufficient partnerships, methodologies are forced to become one-to-one. We think we know that it is better to synthesize intra-interactively than to transform intuitively. HorsePorn has refactored the theory of performance. If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to synergize extensibly. A company that can exploit easily will (eventually) be able to grow correctly. We invariably innovate bleeding-edge one-to-one development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! It comes off as estranging, but it's true! What does the term "users" really mean? Without portals, you will lack reality-based, visionary obfuscation. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We will engineer the term "mission-critical, viral". We will enlarge our capacity to utilize without decreasing our capacity to utilize. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Without B2C2B, e-business, visionary iteration, you will lack impactful, integrated re-sizing.