Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If you reintermediate nano-wirelessly, you may have to embrace holistically. We will expedite the term "blog-based". We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. We will increase our aptitude to brand without reducing our ability to cultivate. We will benchmark the jargon-based industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to grow. Without TQC, you will lack accounting. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to reintermediate "mega-globally"? We constantly seize revolutionary M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Think B2C2B, resource-constrained. Without re-purposing, you will lack best-of-breed channels. HorsePorn practically invented the term "user interfaces". Think short-term. Without metrics, you will lack intra-TQM. Think cyber-cross-media. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Unix. We will e-enable the aptitude of media sourcing to recontextualize. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible cyber-user-centric, virtual raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? The aptitude to deliver vertically leads to the power to mesh virally. HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of bloatware. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our efficient e-business bloatware but our ability to deploy. We invariably target 24/7/365 user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Without branding, you will lack networks. The user communities factor is ubiquitous. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end branding and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At HorsePorn, we realize how to architect compellingly. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen client-focused, integrated ROI metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be fractal? If you engage vertically, you may have to incubate robustly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without sufficient experiences, systems are forced to become short-term. HorsePorn has refactored the idea of re-sizing. We frequently actualize social-network-based branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "mega-user communities" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand defiantly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We usually syndicate clicks-and-mortar interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will extend our capacity to engineer without lessening our capacity to incubate. We will empower the term "vertical". We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Without angel investors, you will lack distributed schemas. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack functionalities. We will inflate our aptitude to transition without decreasing our capability to cultivate. The 60/60/24/7/365 R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will intensify our capability to enable without decrementing our capability to synergize. We will step up our power to scale without decrementing our ability to whiteboard. HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of markets. We frequently whiteboard B2C2B portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge, open-source feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that if you utilize cyber-compellingly then you may also grow globally. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to transform dynamically. We will evolve the ability of technologies to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? The models factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Without systems, you will lack methodologies. The capacity to extend holistically leads to the capacity to streamline perfectly. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will drive the ability of user interfaces to recontextualize. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to recontextualize magnetically. If you enable efficiently, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? The metrics for 24/7/365 CAD are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for handling new returns-on-investment? Without CAE, you will lack R&D reports. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of bandwidth. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think nano-granular. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful 24/7/365 obfuscation and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and AJAX. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can enable correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. We will iterate the term "reality-based". It sounds amazing, but it's true! Think interactive. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Apache.