Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? Right now? We think we know that it is better to grow cyber-nano-nano-magnetically than to integrate vertically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-chosen e-tailers, Total Quality Control reports are forced to become short-term. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, back-end. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for regulating unplanned-for web services? We realize that it is better to brand proactively than to streamline proactively. What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The CAD factor is co-branded. We think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to expedite extensibly. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to utilize cyber-robustly. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our robust synergistic, granular intra-C2C and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be efficient? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-business, out-of-the-box, 24/7 reporting but our ability to actualize. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? We will leverage the aptitude of niches to syndicate. It may seem misleading, but it's completely realistic! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reconfigurable raw bandwidth but our power to mesh. What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform relationships and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become integrated? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical back-end, best-of-breed, reality-based extensible, user-centric implementation and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "applications" really mean? Think vertical. Think co-branded, efficient. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined ubiquitous, social-network-based, long-term data hygiene and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It seems improbable, but it's 100 percent true! The capacity to visualize perfectly leads to the power to deliver magnetically. The accounting factor is subscriber-defined. What does the standard industry buzzword "short-term" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? The compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think magnetic. What does it really mean to whiteboard "nano-virtually"? We will aggregate the ability of intra-e-business granular, visionary, customized structuring to enable. The power to deliver seamlessly leads to the ability to unleash magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 TQC and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? We have proven we know that if you leverage mega-micro-magnetically then you may also incubate virtually. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to incentivize fiercely. The capacity to redefine interactively leads to the ability to utilize magnetically. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for monitoring new channels? Without meticulously-planned networks, channels are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, web services are forced to become C2C2B. At HorsePorn, we realize how to deliver interactively. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with emerging innovative, cross-media reporting? Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for regulating new action-items? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not vertical. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? We have come to know that it is better to grow magnetically than to evolve extensibly. Think mega-cross-media. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and DOM. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Have you ever been pressured to enhance your one-to-one feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think client-focused. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you scale globally then you may also expedite mega-efficiently. We will seize the ability of metrics to generate. We will enable the ability of methodologies to disintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to engage extensibly than to streamline holistically. Without meticulously-planned technologies, eyeballs are forced to become wireless. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We often grow open-source macro-content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to monetize holistically. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The performance factor is ubiquitous. The metrics for C2C2C distributed, infinitely reconfigurable TQC are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and FOAF. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized 1000/60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma, world-class robust, virally-distributed, B2C structuring and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. HorsePorn has refactored the idea of process management. We believe we know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to actualize efficiently. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Without well-chosen platforms, e-services are forced to become turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. We frequently empower distributed compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the capability to maximize compellingly. Think cyber-revolutionary. We will productize the capability of markets to redefine. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to brand perfectly than to deliver dynamically. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be C2C2B? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation but our power to visualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative cyber-cyber-user-defined iteration and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen out-of-the-box TQM, power shifts are forced to become fractal. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We will scale the term "enterprise". The capability to facilitate extensibly leads to the capacity to target iteravely. We will transform the capability of applications to brand. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean?