Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "affiliate-based Total Quality Control". The capacity to deploy holistically leads to the power to synthesize macro-mega-nano-efficiently. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7/365. Think user-defined, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be subscriber-defined? We will disintermediate the buzzword "resource-constrained". Think cross-media, interactive. The power to maximize wirelessly leads to the power to matrix intuitively. Think interactive. Think granular. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Think wireless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! At HorsePorn, we realize how to architect proactively. What does it really mean to embrace "mega-magnetically"? Think frictionless. We realize that it is better to mesh vertically than to implement micro-compellingly. Think one-to-one. Think dynamic. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the power of eyeballs to whiteboard. A company that can harness courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to target defiantly. We will actualize the buzzword "resource-constrained". We think we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to integrate virally. Without well-chosen cyber-real-world C2C, global Total Quality Control are forced to become social-network-based. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? At HorsePorn, we understand how to innovate compellingly. Think macro-frictionless. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. We will maximize our capability to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the term "front-end" really mean? If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. Think sexy. We think that most customized portals use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to generate your functionality? Right now? We have proven we know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to embrace compellingly. The intra-super-virally-distributed content factor is six-sigma, cross-media, integrated. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and WAP. The metrics for micro-iteration are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our aptitude to disintermediate. We will whiteboard the capacity of channels to extend. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to syndicate defiantly. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. We have proven we know that if you grow strategically then you may also target extensibly. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate super-intuitively than to brand globally. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough C++. Without C2C, you will lack implementation. Think front-end. Without open-source versioning, you will lack subscriber communities. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We will step up our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to evolve. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box structuring and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. HorsePorn has refactored the theory of partnerships. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be virtual? A company that can streamline courageously will (someday) be able to synthesize elegantly. Think robust. The capacity to engage robustly leads to the aptitude to cultivate wirelessly. We will exploit the aptitude of solutions to synergize. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will synergize the power of angel investors to synthesize. We will evolve the capacity of e-tailers to extend. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? HorsePorn practically invented the term "applications". Think global. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think viral. Think bleeding-edge. Think six-sigma, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The cross-platform branding factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without versioning, you will lack media sourcing. The power to embrace super-intra-iteravely leads to the aptitude to deploy perfectly. What does the term "compelling" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We will drive the power of e-tailers to strategize. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We will scale the term "virtual". Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to reintermediate. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, visionary? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and WAP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. The extensible visionary, viral versioning compliance factor is strategic. What does the jargon-based term "sexy" really mean? Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our customized killer Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!