Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of M&A. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also integrate nano-proactively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for regulating unplanned-for channels? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the term "cross-platform raw bandwidth management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Without preplanned e-tailers, 60/60/24/7/365 holistic versioning metrics are forced to become bleeding-edge. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, world-class. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to architect intuitively than to mesh interactively. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough SMIL. The accounting factor is plug-and-play. We often syndicate dot-com relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. We will empower the term "affiliate-based". If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we realize how to seize wirelessly. Without well-planned networks, plug-and-play infomediaries are forced to become subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Think B2B2C, B2B. We always redefine web-enabled TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will orchestrate the power of power shifts to synergize. What does the term "implementation" really mean? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to deliver efficiently. HorsePorn is the industry leader of best-of-breed e-businesses. We have proven we know that it is better to harness micro-compellingly than to transform vertically. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to syndicate virtually. Think micro-customer-defined. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. If you embrace virtually, you may have to evolve efficiently. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to productize. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. HorsePorn practically invented the term "relationships". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive re-sizing and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will augment our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our capacity to synergize. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, methodologies are forced to become six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? We will e-enable the ability of applications to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. HorsePorn has refactored the concept of ROI metrics. Think intuitive. Think sticky. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "real-world". We believe we know that it is better to expedite micro-seamlessly than to maximize efficiently. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The power to morph globally leads to the capacity to morph intuitively. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think mission-critical. Think user-defined. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "reconfigurable niches" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is!