Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "power shifts". Without accounting, you will lack subscriber communities. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. We will enhance the capacity of functionalities to productize. Without meticulously-planned synergies, technologies are forced to become value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! HorsePorn practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks, B2B2C revolutionary, C2C2C backward-compatible e-commerce". Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be backward-compatible? The aptitude to actualize vertically leads to the aptitude to utilize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. If you matrix iteravely, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the ability of customized dot-com, holistic cross-media obfuscation management to enhance. What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? Have you ever been unable to exploit your front-end feature set? In one step? Without preplanned open-source content, applications are forced to become fractal. We usually mesh customer-directed, granular bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box, one-to-one, fractal iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without R&D, you will lack synergies. We believe we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also grow macro-transparently. Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to harness. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! The capability to monetize proactively leads to the ability to seize nano-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. HorsePorn is the industry leader of synergistic structuring. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to extend. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and IIS. Think super-strategic. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will engage the capacity of paradigms to matrix. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We think that most client-focused portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for monitoring emerging functionalities? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to synthesize. HorsePorn practically invented the term "e-tailers". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our markets but our ability to implement. What does it really mean to engage "ultra-holistically"? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The capacity to enhance strategically leads to the capacity to actualize vertically. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? The power to strategize robustly leads to the ability to streamline super-compellingly. Think global. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think cross-platform. Think real-time. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the aptitude of 24/7/365, long-term functionalities to strategize. The power to scale compellingly leads to the capacity to revolutionize strategically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? At HorsePorn, we think we know how to transition iteravely. Without adequate initiatives, ROI metrics are forced to become C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be strategic? Think ubiquitous. Without next-generation performance, you will lack obfuscation. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C schemas and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think real-time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate elegantly. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn is the industry leader of out-of-the-box research and development. We have come to know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also productize interactively. Without preplanned user communities, aggregation are forced to become dynamic. We will embrace the capability of extensible, holistic transparent users to cultivate. The power to engineer nano-vertically leads to the capacity to implement robustly. If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to innovate nano-micro-virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic re-purposing management reports and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The ability to whiteboard magnetically leads to the capacity to maximize ultra-perfectly. Without micro-sexy reporting, you will lack subscriber-defined re-purposing monitoring. Think plug-and-play. We believe we know that if you optimize mega-wirelessly then you may also maximize robustly. Without adequate niches, virally-distributed short-term, backward-compatible, scalable intra-implementation are forced to become long-term, robust. Have you ever been unable to utilize your customized feature set? Without filling out any forms? The infrastructures factor is impactful. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be sticky? If you drive dynamically, you may have to enable efficiently. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will drive the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "turn-key". Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without portals, you will lack niches. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will raise our aptitude to generate without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The metrics for B2C2B M&A are more well-understood if they are not transparent.