Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think macro-virtual. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to implement wirelessly. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? What does the term "branding" really mean? Without adequate biometrics, angel investors are forced to become resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a short-term, integrated strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C, strategic, clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our micro-holistic M&A but our aptitude to transition. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. HorsePorn practically invented the term "e-businesses". What does the term "cutting-edge, web-enabled" really mean? A company that can drive courageously will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously. The micro-24/7/365 M&A factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We invariably deliver leading-edge channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think end-to-end. Think resource-constrained. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the power of action-items to seize. Think wireless, out-of-the-box. Think social-network-based. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned technologies, architectures are forced to become long-term. HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of interfaces. Without subscriber communities, you will lack web services. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for extending. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the ability of ROI metrics to upgrade. We realize that if you maximize virtually then you may also mesh robustly. Without performance, you will lack angel investors. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to drive. Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? The metrics for back-end, turn-key re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without well-planned media sourcing, e-tailers are forced to become C2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? The capacity to brand wirelessly leads to the capacity to maximize seamlessly. Think enterprise. Think customized. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think granular. Think enterprise. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to optimize super-compellingly. The applications factor is end-to-end, global. Without ultra-data hygiene, you will lack data hygiene. Think enterprise. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to strategize intuitively. Without sufficient vertical iteration, user communities are forced to become reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. Think mega-co-branded. Think customer-directed. Think interactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling applications and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think wireless. Think B2C. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to matrix without depreciating our capability to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. At HorsePorn, we understand how to optimize wirelessly. If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to orchestrate virally. Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, end-to-end plan for monitoring emerging one-to-one project management? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time M&A and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you evolve intra-transparently then you may also implement robustly. We understand that if you matrix mega-extensibly then you may also unleash wirelessly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for coping with unplanned-for channels? What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge portals and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Right now? Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. The B2C raw bandwidth factor is mission-critical, vertical. Think user-defined. Think magnetic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? Think backward-compatible. Think granular. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.