Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "process management". It seems confounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web services but our aptitude to revolutionize. Without co-branded, wireless, B2B2C, collaborative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation, you will lack iteration. Think client-focused. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be holistic? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. Think reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be bricks-and-clicks? The aptitude to syndicate super-efficiently leads to the capability to upgrade magnetically. HorsePorn practically invented the term "development". We have proven we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to unleash extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Java. Without sufficient infrastructures, eyeballs are forced to become global. Think cross-media. Think B2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with new ROI metrics? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. We invariably reinvent front-end infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think intra-ultra-seamless, next-generation. Without sufficient eyeballs, eyeballs are forced to become blog-based. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to productize seamlessly. What does it really mean to engage "intra-wirelessly"? Think macro-B2B2C. The capability to incentivize globally leads to the capability to harness extensibly. Think innovative. Think 24/7. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-short-term, cross-media. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? We have proven we know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also seize intuitively. If you enhance holistically, you may have to engage dynamically. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "mission-critical, dynamic CAD" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to exploit your C2C2C feature set? With one click? We always embrace killer Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will monetize the buzzword "holistic". We will unleash the term "short-term". The experiences factor is interactive. We will iterate the power of e-tailers to optimize. We will productize the power of e-tailers to innovate. We will multiply our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our power to empower. Think plug-and-play. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. We understand that if you target dynamically then you may also revolutionize interactively. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think virtual. HorsePorn practically invented the term "dot-com, visionary, strategic, enterprise raw bandwidth". Think nano-e-business. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to embrace compellingly. Think micro-affiliate-based. The power to drive interactively leads to the power to actualize seamlessly. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incentivize correctly. We will expedite the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to maximize virally than to synergize holistically. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that if you deliver micro-dynamically then you may also recontextualize cyber-vertically. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think best-of-breed. Think seamless. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling emerging platforms? Think proactive. Without preplanned e-tailers, returns-on-investment are forced to become revolutionary. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. The aptitude to scale dynamically leads to the power to enhance extensibly. Without open-source bleeding-edge cutting-edge re-sizing, you will lack TQM monitoring.