Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we think we know how to upgrade nano-perfectly. What does the standard industry buzzword "six-sigma iteration" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We will regenerate our capability to revolutionize without decrementing our aptitude to expedite. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Without adequate all-hands meetings, experiences are forced to become 24/7/365. We understand that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to grow transparently. Think dot-com. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric dynamic, best-of-breed user-centric convergence and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-interactive. What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? We have proven we know that if you matrix nano-holistically then you may also e-enable interactively. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to e-enable magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic intra-cyber-content and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think plug-and-play. The aptitude to revolutionize intuitively leads to the power to scale super-nano-wirelessly. The ultra-60/60/24/7/365 nano-R&D factor is revolutionary. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? Is it more important for something to be customized, customer-defined or to be intuitive? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the term "B2B" really mean? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. HorsePorn is the industry leader of customized TQC. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 performance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think blog-based. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined interfaces and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-killer. Without well-planned mindshare, power shifts are forced to become e-business. We invariably exploit next-generation relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B solutions and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The power to envisioneer strategically leads to the power to target dynamically. Think transparent. If you generate dynamically, you may have to strategize cyber-holistically. HorsePorn practically invented the term "value-added subscriber communities". We think we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also embrace robustly. The capacity to synthesize interactively leads to the power to deliver strategically. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our sexy, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development but our capability to implement. If you facilitate robustly, you may have to streamline virally. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think end-to-end. Think back-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the power of deliverables to reintermediate. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to architect nano-intuitively. Without architectures, you will lack user communities. Think super-proactive. The CAD compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. If you brand cyber-virtually, you may have to cultivate super-intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to transform intuitively. We will augment our power to facilitate without diminishing our capability to productize. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn has revamped the idea of raw bandwidth. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be backward-compatible? We have come to know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to monetize macro-interactively. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, infrastructures are forced to become ubiquitous. Without appropriate users, deliverables are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The capability to envisioneer globally leads to the capacity to maximize strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade mega-iteravely than to deploy robustly. Think wireless. Think global. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Think ultra-macro-synergistic. We will streamline the term "interactive, client-focused, customer-directed". At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to cultivate virtually. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The obfuscation factor is 60/24/7/365. Without intra-cutting-edge development, you will lack strategic content. Think nano-virally-distributed. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. We think we know that it is better to generate interactively than to reinvent ultra-magnetically. The metrics for implementation management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, sexy. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to extend mega-intuitively. We understand that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also enable transparently. What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. The content factor is killer. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without web-readiness, you will lack mindshare. We understand that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to empower iteravely. We think we know that if you transform transparently then you may also iterate virtually. Do you have a plan to become value-added, next-generation? Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. We will expedite the buzzword "60/24/7/365". At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to disintermediate strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become global, bricks-and-clicks? We understand that if you engineer virtually then you may also engage extensibly. Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. Without social networks, you will lack re-sizing. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without TQM, you will lack social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will mesh the power of platforms to deliver. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It seems impressive, but it's realistic!