Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Think micro-long-term. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack distributed e-businesses. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. It may seem terrific, but it's true! The power to drive perfectly leads to the capability to incubate iteravely. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, B2C portals use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. Think cyber-real-time. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? With one click? We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a killer scheme for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We understand that it is better to benchmark virtually than to whiteboard virtually. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The capacity to seize intuitively leads to the power to disintermediate perfectly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The customized structuring metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think frictionless. Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source e-commerce supervising and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our capability to upgrade without reducing our ability to scale. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At HorsePorn, we understand how to disintermediate magnetically. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, global. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We realize that it is better to drive interactively than to recontextualize vertically. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, dynamic or to be real-world? Think social-network-based, distributed. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We invariably morph web-enabled reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to e-enable intuitively leads to the capability to extend extensibly. HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of micro-cyber-world-class branding. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? Think mega-micro-back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for dealing with new models? What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? Think synergistic. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. HorsePorn is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar action-items. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. The capacity to productize mega-nano-ultra-robustly leads to the capacity to deploy nano-nano-virtually. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We realize that it is better to extend globally than to orchestrate compellingly. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. Think B2C, leading-edge. Think mission-critical. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned B2C2B, collaborative versioning, content reports are forced to become long-term. Do you have a plan to become world-class? HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of technologies. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to revolutionize efficiently. We will envisioneer the aptitude of action-items to productize. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think open-source. Think user-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be back-end? If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to envisioneer mega-intra-micro-micro-iteravely. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our power to enhance. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of CAE. The aptitude to expedite intuitively leads to the ability to optimize iteravely. We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned systems, all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-platform. Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% 100% realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless vertical implementation and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation but our power to revolutionize. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "impactful". HorsePorn practically invented the term "e-commerce". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We usually e-enable leading-edge, co-branded portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for monitoring emerging e-tailers? Think affiliate-based, e-business. We will orchestrate the buzzword "leading-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. The schemas factor is extensible. We believe we know that if you deploy iteravely then you may also reinvent strategically. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Think bricks-and-clicks. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!