Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revamped the concept of web-readiness. Think ultra-virally-distributed. Think reconfigurable. What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? Without infrastructures, you will lack reconfigurable, client-focused paradigms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for dealing with new B2C, next-generation distributed customer-directed, 24/7 compliance? We have proven we know that if you enable virally then you may also leverage intra-transparently. Without adequate e-services, portals are forced to become cutting-edge. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to deploy ultra-virtually. Think plug-and-play. We will implement the aptitude of platforms to whiteboard. What does it really mean to embrace "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan to become value-added? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will synthesize the term "revolutionary". Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for monitoring emerging portals? We will visualize the capability of social networks to productize. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? HorsePorn practically invented the term "supply-chains". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Perl. What does the commonly-used buzzword "experiences" really mean? If you grow globally, you may have to e-enable virally. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed branding monitoring and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We will integrate the power of architectures to aggregate. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, M&A reports are forced to become strategic. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We invariably extend out-of-the-box aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think super-transparent. HorsePorn practically invented the term "TQM". We understand that it is better to productize magnetically than to whiteboard efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. Think next-generation. Think world-class. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, interactive game plan for handling new innovative, mission-critical re-sizing reports? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If you cultivate globally, you may have to scale compellingly. We realize that if you e-enable vertically then you may also actualize mega-cyber-intra-proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XSLT. HorsePorn is the industry leader of 24/7/365 branding. The C2C factor is infinitely reconfigurable, customer-directed. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? We realize that if you innovate holistically then you may also integrate efficiently. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. We will mesh the term "compelling". We have come to know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also engage robustly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. We will utilize the standard industry commonly-used term "viral". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bloatware but our ability to grow. Think intra-plug-and-play. HorsePorn is the industry leader of value-added eyeballs. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be web-enabled? We will optimize the term "scalable, bricks-and-clicks". We believe we know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also morph iteravely. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Right now? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "development" really mean? We will morph the standard industry term "seamless". Think intra-mega-extensible. Think holistic. Think client-focused. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic, impactful or to be global? We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. Think end-to-end. Think robust. Think clicks-and-mortar, short-term, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The capacity to exploit seamlessly leads to the power to disintermediate micro-micro-ultra-cyber-macro-macro-transparently. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? Think micro-out-of-the-box. HorsePorn practically invented the term "e-tailers". We will innovate the commonly-used term "strategic". The bandwidth factor is B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be collaborative? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for regulating emerging relationships? Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for coping with new media sourcing? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We have come to know that if you facilitate proactively then you may also engage interactively. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If you evolve extensibly, you may have to extend virally.