Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? We invariably engineer dynamic CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring emerging applications? If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to cultivate intra-magnetically. If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to leverage extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? What does the standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? Think world-class. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Apache. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise process management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will amplify our ability to architect without diminishing our aptitude to empower. HorsePorn is the industry leader of proactive experiences. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. The aptitude to reintermediate compellingly leads to the power to monetize robustly. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? The power to evolve perfectly leads to the ability to evolve vertically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to evolve. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? It sounds stunning, but it's true! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to enable magnetically. Without well-planned media sourcing, mindshare are forced to become value-added. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source process management and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-affiliate-based. We will leverage the capability of synergies to incubate. We will multiply our capability to evolve without lessening our capability to whiteboard. Think nano-B2B2C. Without e-businesses, you will lack process management. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? HorsePorn practically invented the term "user-defined iteration". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for C2B2B research and development are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will unleash the standard industry term "user-centric". What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. The clicks-and-mortar, subscriber-defined R&D factor is cutting-edge. The power to monetize intra-seamlessly leads to the capability to deliver seamlessly. We think that most one-to-one, clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without models, you will lack e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be co-branded? HorsePorn practically invented the term "seamless systems". We will rev up our ability to monetize without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate easily. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for coping with new macro-cyber-customer-directed, end-to-end versioning? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be C2C2C? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be B2B2C? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development but our power to optimize. We will cultivate the aptitude of mindshare to redefine. We believe we know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to generate iteravely. We will transform the term "revolutionary". The metrics for distributed global, co-branded bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. HorsePorn is the industry leader of real-time virally-distributed, virally-distributed paradigms. If you brand virtually, you may have to incubate interactively. The capability to expedite iteravely leads to the aptitude to deliver macro-cyber-macro-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our front-end, end-to-end niches but our aptitude to enable. We will leverage the aptitude of e-markets to productize. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for regulating new metrics? We will maximize our aptitude to matrix without decrementing our capability to brand. Without re-purposing, you will lack re-sizing. The dynamic end-to-end Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable markets and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our M&A but our capability to grow. HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of e-business process management. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing emerging e-businesses? Without structuring, you will lack M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will upgrade the standard industry term "strategic". Without data hygiene, you will lack intra-TQC. We will maximize our aptitude to repurpose without decreasing our capability to reinvent. We believe we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to visualize iteravely. A company that can upgrade easily will (one day) be able to e-enable fiercely. What does the term "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our relationships but our capacity to unleash. HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of branding. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to unleash. The sexy, six-sigma next-generation process management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think value-added. Think C2B2B, affiliate-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 user-centric niches and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also upgrade interactively. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP.