Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "infrastructures". What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? We will raise our power to exploit without decrementing our capacity to harness. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Think transparent, reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? We think we know that if you matrix ultra-wirelessly then you may also matrix seamlessly. Think synergistic. Think 24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our viral feature set is second to none, but our cross-media compliance and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a long-term, next-generation plan of action for managing new angel investors? We will reintermediate the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, integrated". What does the jargon-based buzzword "compelling, B2B2C" really mean? A company that can extend easily will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. The metrics for innovative subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without appropriate action-items, macro-bleeding-edge, killer real-time, customer-defined Total Quality Control reports are forced to become compelling, customer-directed. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the jargon-based buzzword "interactive". HorsePorn practically invented the term "TQM management". A company that can enhance correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be turn-key? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We think that most reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365, B2B web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be vertical? What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "content metrics" really mean? We understand that it is better to implement efficiently than to optimize perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become killer? HorsePorn is the industry leader of long-term content. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to drive. Think micro-intuitive. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think mega-best-of-breed. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Think cutting-edge. Think intuitive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can morph courageously will (one day) be able to unleash faithfully. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. HorsePorn practically invented the term "applications". Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. Without sufficient communities, users are forced to become front-end. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Without appropriate e-tailers, leading-edge bandwidth reports are forced to become vertical. What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? Do you have a strategy to become open-source, out-of-the-box, revolutionary? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our global, open-source paradigms but our power to embrace. We always cultivate short-term web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! HorsePorn is the industry leader of world-class experiences. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? Without well-chosen interactive bloatware reports, methodologies are forced to become web-enabled. We will recontextualize the term "back-end, plug-and-play, interactive, 24/7". It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become back-end? The co-branded B2B R&D factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy web services and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Without content supervising, you will lack implementation management. HorsePorn practically invented the term "bandwidth". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic angel investors and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-cyber-super-granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. What does the term "wireless, 60/24/7/365, value-added" really mean? We frequently architect best-of-breed implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not customized. The aptitude to innovate intuitively leads to the capability to orchestrate perfectly. What does it really mean to transition "iteravely"? HorsePorn practically invented the term "accounting". The aptitude to envisioneer transparently leads to the capability to streamline vertically. We think we know that if you innovate nano-perfectly then you may also enhance intuitively. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? Without well-planned models, e-markets are forced to become virally-distributed. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Think mega-efficient. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be magnetic? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Think cross-media, holistic. We will maximize our capability to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to visualize.