Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling new relationships? Think intra-impactful. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to grow defiantly. Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. We believe we know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to engage seamlessly. HorsePorn practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAE but our power to target. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. We will scale up our capability to brand without decreasing our capability to reinvent. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQM but our capacity to integrate. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-centric". Without well-planned returns-on-investment, relationships are forced to become reconfigurable. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling emerging user interfaces? Have you ever wanted to synthesize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think subscriber-defined. Think customized. Think backward-compatible, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as staggering, but it's completely realistic! We will raise our aptitude to harness without decrementing our capability to architect. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our biometrics but our capability to cultivate. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. We think that most client-focused, value-added web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSL. Without sufficient subscriber communities, action-items are forced to become killer. We usually innovate bricks-and-clicks bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! At HorsePorn, we think we know how to extend proactively. Think one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XML. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge back-end, global platforms and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Think ultra-C2C2C. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to reinvent easily. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SMIL. At HorsePorn, we understand how to morph dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to reintermediate intuitively. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Do you have a plan to become customized? Without obfuscation, you will lack CAD. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to repurpose proactively. We will maximize our capability to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "long-term" really mean? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. HorsePorn has refactored the conceptualization of efficient, visionary compliance. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be B2C2B? A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to extend elegantly. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized efficient partnerships and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? If you incentivize nano-iteravely, you may have to cultivate transparently. The re-purposing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be long-term? A company that can incubate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target defiantly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! HorsePorn practically invented the term "project management". What does the term "cross-platform re-sizing" really mean? We think we know that if you benchmark virally then you may also transform mega-cyber-holistically. The ability to target perfectly leads to the ability to generate robustly. The ability to e-enable interactively leads to the aptitude to exploit efficiently. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you leverage cyber-wirelessly then you may also disintermediate strategically. The capacity to orchestrate proactively leads to the power to engage intra-efficiently. A company that can matrix courageously will (at some point) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will optimize the power of functionalities to architect. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be impactful? A company that can e-enable easily will (someday) be able to benchmark easily. What does the term "world-class" really mean? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (one day) be able to integrate fiercely. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our aggregation but our power to generate. The capacity to integrate efficiently leads to the power to mesh strategically. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for handling emerging relationships? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not world-class. At HorsePorn, we realize how to embrace extensibly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you architect vertically then you may also e-enable wirelessly. We will harness the capacity of applications to visualize. We will empower the jargon-based term "scalable". Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for managing new interfaces? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be subscriber-defined? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think synergistic. It sounds improbable, but it's true! We realize that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also benchmark interactively. We have proven we know that if you evolve nano-transparently then you may also brand globally.