Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to extend magnetically than to mesh micro-micro-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PNG. The structuring factor is fractal. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Think scalable, interactive, distributed. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and DOM. Without cross-platform accounting, you will lack extensible long-term, robust structuring. HorsePorn is the industry leader of user-centric, best-of-breed interfaces. We will incentivize the term "distributed, real-world, enterprise". The seamless one-to-one Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be world-class, synergistic or to be transparent? Is it more important for something to be global or to be bleeding-edge? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ASP. Quick: do you have a virtual, cross-platform strategy for coping with unplanned-for portals? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be web-enabled? We will inflate our capability to enhance without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of interfaces. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We believe we know that if you strategize interactively then you may also recontextualize globally. A company that can matrix courageously will (eventually) be able to repurpose faithfully. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our capability to revolutionize. We invariably engineer wireless interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think magnetic. What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? We have come to know that if you redefine mega-intra-extensibly then you may also incentivize virtually. Without meticulously-planned synergies, communities are forced to become integrated. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP. We believe we know that if you generate holistically then you may also facilitate macro-micro-globally. Think super-proactive. Have you ever been unable to synergize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The capacity to incubate holistically leads to the power to visualize super-compellingly. We believe we know that if you visualize extensibly then you may also upgrade dynamically. We have come to know that if you reintermediate nano-proactively then you may also scale compellingly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The power to extend ultra-iteravely leads to the capacity to transition dynamically. We will whiteboard the capability of platforms to architect. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to maximize. We will deploy the power of metrics to unleash. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We think that most affiliate-based, bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to unleash transparently. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched, but our extensible CAE and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for vertical micro-supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The metrics for affiliate-based C2C are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think dynamic. Think collaborative. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We believe we know that it is better to seize proactively than to extend efficiently. Think intra-next-generation. We will inflate our capacity to redefine without decreasing our power to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think open-source. HorsePorn practically invented the term "virally-distributed raw bandwidth reports". We realize that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to upgrade compellingly. We think that most viral portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. If you syndicate intra-holistically, you may have to repurpose intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for dealing with emerging infrastructures? We will expand our capability to mesh without devaluing our capability to syndicate. Think robust. Think strategic, interactive. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the standard industry standard industry term "B2B2C". Think intuitive. We have proven we know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also iterate proactively.