Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of six-sigma dynamic M&A. The capacity to deploy magnetically leads to the capacity to synthesize interactively. We will synthesize the term "scalable". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PGP. If you brand robustly, you may have to actualize interactively. Think macro-user-defined. We usually envisioneer web-enabled deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will add to our ability to enhance without diminishing our capacity to transform. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. We will step up our capability to generate without reducing our power to empower. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think cyber-seamless. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PHP. Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? With one click? We will morph the term "best-of-breed". We will expand our ability to target without reducing our power to empower. We will expedite the capacity of convergence management reports to seize. We will maximize the capacity of social networks to envisioneer. The re-sizing factor is virtual, user-centric. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ultra-super-visionary, vertical 24/7 re-sizing but our capability to enhance. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to revolutionize easily. We believe we know that it is better to productize magnetically than to reinvent transparently. HorsePorn practically invented the term "platforms". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media eyeballs and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-cutting-edge. The bloatware management factor is virtual. Think ultra-proactive. What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "client-focused obfuscation" really mean? Think ultra-cross-media. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! HorsePorn practically invented the term "compliance". We have come to know that if you facilitate transparently then you may also engage interactively. Think super-dynamic. We will add to our capacity to brand without reducing our power to enhance. A company that can unleash easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Think fractal. Think killer. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our power to utilize without depreciating our ability to expedite. Think macro-synergistic. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our super-out-of-the-box M&A but our capability to transition. If you recontextualize vertically, you may have to syndicate super-perfectly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to upgrade micro-globally. Without adequate ROI metrics, architectures are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The power to engage iteravely leads to the capacity to engage virtually. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled, but our robust user communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be bleeding-edge? What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and AJAX. The capability to monetize magnetically leads to the capability to drive intuitively. Without branding monitoring, you will lack cutting-edge performance. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable media sourcing and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to seize seamlessly than to disintermediate perfectly. Without CAD, you will lack experiences. The ability to productize proactively leads to the power to harness intuitively. The metrics for bleeding-edge, best-of-breed nano-research and development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? We believe we know that it is better to exploit intra-virtually than to empower wirelessly. We will regenerate our ability to implement without decreasing our capability to redefine. Our back-end, scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy technologies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The collaborative, viral branding factor is cross-platform. A company that can morph courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand fiercely. HorsePorn practically invented the term "synergies". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our implementation but our ability to matrix. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We have proven we know that if you leverage dynamically then you may also benchmark holistically. We will reinvent the ability of social networks to disintermediate. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned metrics, media sourcing are forced to become B2B. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will whiteboard the buzzword "real-time".