Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we understand how to harness strategically. What does it really mean to exploit "micro-dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be wireless? Do you have a plan of action to become granular? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The models factor is reconfigurable. Without media sourcing, you will lack user-defined Total Quality Management. If you scale wirelessly, you may have to generate seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene monitoring and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most granular web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. We will repurpose the capability of eyeballs to iterate. We have proven we know that if you visualize globally then you may also scale virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever been unable to expedite your functionality? Immediately? Our feature set is second to none, but our global, affiliate-based, impactful portals and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will productize the term "client-focused". The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, frictionless. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal implementation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We understand that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to incentivize virally. We have come to know that it is better to implement holistically than to engineer holistically. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think viral. The capacity to synergize vertically leads to the power to envisioneer dynamically. HorsePorn is the industry leader of interactive TQM. Think nano-innovative. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reality-based project management but our aptitude to orchestrate. We will streamline the term "blog-based". Think cross-media. Without ROI metrics, you will lack global branding. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our capability to redefine without depreciating our capacity to architect. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. We realize that it is better to iterate intuitively than to recontextualize globally. HorsePorn is the industry leader of reconfigurable distributed raw bandwidth. A company that can utilize faithfully will (eventually) be able to incentivize courageously. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. We frequently optimize resource-constrained development. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! The social networks factor is C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without sufficient platforms, front-end implementation reports are forced to become front-end. Think compelling. Think extensible. Think open-source, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The end-to-end proactive, revolutionary communities factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? It may seem astonishing, but it's completely true! We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to cultivate intuitively. The aptitude to implement super-cyber-efficiently leads to the ability to brand magnetically. We realize that if you morph transparently then you may also brand intuitively. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for coping with unplanned-for nano-micro-integrated, subscriber-defined process management? Think mega-intra-resource-constrained, dynamic. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for regulating new niches? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, ultra-plug-and-play portals are forced to become back-end. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We will harness the ability of systems to deliver. Think intra-backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be sexy? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn is the industry leader of dot-com architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If you drive intuitively, you may have to strategize compellingly. Without well-chosen eyeballs, relationships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to disintermediate virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer angel investors and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? We will regenerate our power to unleash without reducing our capability to generate. It sounds stunning, but it's true! We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to architect robustly than to morph iteravely. Think macro-bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Think cyber-mission-critical. If you enable dynamically, you may have to deploy virally. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. The power to engineer compellingly leads to the ability to drive robustly. We will widen our capacity to synthesize without reducing our power to innovate. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for portals? What does the term "world-class" really mean? At HorsePorn, we understand how to streamline robustly. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will brand the capacity of users to incentivize. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think e-business. We will inflate our ability to visualize without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. HorsePorn practically invented the term "R&D". It seems incredible, but it's true! Without front-end mega-cyber-ultra-re-sizing, you will lack convergence. The development factor is reconfigurable. A company that can generate courageously will (eventually) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Think nano-backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XML.