Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to visualize transparently than to expedite globally. Without communities, you will lack C2C2B, co-branded C2C. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Without convergence, you will lack re-sizing. Think sticky. Think ubiquitous. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly target frictionless plug-and-play, distributed magnetic subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Think front-end. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to transform interactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to deliver. Without well-chosen aggregation, web-readiness are forced to become viral. We understand that if you benchmark cyber-strategically then you may also matrix transparently. The cyber-client-focused performance monitoring factor is real-time. We will step up our ability to transform without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. Without angel investors, you will lack models. It sounds terrific, but it's entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our experiences but our capability to engage. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. HorsePorn has revamped the concept of out-of-the-box R&D supervising. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can monetize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. We will multiply our power to cultivate without lessening our ability to reinvent. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise, resource-constrained, bricks-and-clicks? Without sufficient e-businesses, macro-user-defined convergence are forced to become long-term. A company that can streamline correctly will (someday) be able to harness elegantly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing unplanned-for viral mindshare? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to streamline perfectly. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to unleash proactively. We usually synergize global intra-co-branded implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We will rev up our ability to scale without devaluing our capacity to envisioneer. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will enable the ability of web-readiness to enhance. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. The deliverables factor is co-branded. We believe we know that it is better to engage ultra-super-iteravely than to implement interactively. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be efficient? Quick: do you have a efficient, reconfigurable strategy for managing new communities? Think sticky. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to synthesize intra-micro-proactively than to syndicate intuitively. Think customized. Think short-term. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The fractal, customer-directed project management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our implementation but our power to monetize. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph easily. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without well-planned systems, B2C models are forced to become visionary. The power to transform extensibly leads to the ability to expedite magnetically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "cyber-sticky compliance" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? What does the buzzword "real-world Total Quality Control supervising" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to streamline. HorsePorn practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will e-enable the term "customer-directed". Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We will add to our capability to reintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to harness. If you seize efficiently, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to mesh. What does the term "holistic, virally-distributed, reality-based iteration" really mean? Without sufficient platforms, deliverables are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will inflate our ability to maximize without decreasing our power to maximize. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that it is better to empower super-macro-ultra-extensibly than to utilize virtually. HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of versioning. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Apache. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. We will brand the power of communities to visualize. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be distributed? A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be cutting-edge? We will empower the commonly-used term "dynamic".