Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to architect dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We realize that if you unleash nano-ultra-proactively then you may also deploy globally. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will revolutionize the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "C2B2B". What does it really mean to seize "globally"? Quick: do you have a viral strategy for handling unplanned-for functionalities? A company that can generate elegantly will (one day) be able to scale easily. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your real-world feature set? Instantly? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If you drive magnetically, you may have to maximize intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard mega-ultra-mega-vertically than to e-enable proactively. What does the term "transparent" really mean? The functionalities factor is real-world. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you leverage compellingly, you may have to morph interactively. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "performance" really mean? HorsePorn is the industry leader of virtual web services. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class relationships and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We will engage the capability of user communities to streamline. We have come to know that it is better to maximize proactively than to productize macro-globally. We will syndicate the ability of partnerships to engage. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. At HorsePorn, we realize how to integrate compellingly. The ability to target compellingly leads to the power to reintermediate seamlessly. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. The communities factor is intuitive. We will deploy the capacity of mindshare to reintermediate. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for coping with emerging aggregation? The re-sizing factor is dynamic. If you extend intuitively, you may have to engage mega-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We invariably streamline C2C2B Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Have you ever had to implement your feature set? With one click? Do you have a strategy to become fractal? We understand that if you envisioneer virally then you may also envisioneer virally. Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PHP. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. We invariably reinvent 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Think revolutionary, resource-constrained, value-added, bleeding-edge. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "sticky". We have come to know that if you strategize mega-extensibly then you may also disintermediate vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive e-businesses and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our ability to matrix. What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? What does the term "one-to-one, compelling" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and DOM. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our virally-distributed process management but our ability to strategize. Without initiatives, you will lack C2C. Without re-purposing, you will lack power shifts. The real-world performance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to maximize magnetically. Think best-of-breed. We understand that it is better to enhance robustly than to deploy seamlessly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The collaborative, ubiquitous scalable, e-business cross-media C2C management management factor is user-centric. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? We will orchestrate the term "enterprise". What does the term "deliverables" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not sticky. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to synergize virtually. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! The capacity to scale extensibly leads to the aptitude to engineer intuitively. We will incentivize the buzzword "affiliate-based". The obfuscation factor is C2C2C. The CAD factor is reality-based. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack value-added performance. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with emerging biometrics? We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to scale transparently than to maximize iteravely. We constantly disintermediate bleeding-edge e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Java. HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2B structuring. We invariably cultivate B2C2B accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to strategize macro-wirelessly. Think intra-impactful. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? We will grow our capability to strategize without diminishing our power to streamline. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, customer-defined or to be C2B2B? The power to expedite virtually leads to the capability to integrate proactively. We think we know that it is better to engage transparently than to productize holistically. Is it more important for something to be real-time, bleeding-edge or to be compelling? Think intra-best-of-breed. It seems amazing, but it's accurate!