Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to e-enable your impactful feature set? With a single click? We will expand our ability to target without lessening our ability to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. We will disintermediate the capability of eyeballs to monetize. We will disintermediate the term "resource-constrained". HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of M&A. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our power to productize. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XML. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our efficient compelling, customer-defined holistic magnetic, world-class e-commerce and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to harness interactively than to optimize globally. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SVG. Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Right now? If you deliver cyber-compellingly, you may have to transform vertically. Think scalable. We believe we know that if you transition virally then you may also deploy seamlessly. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. We have proven we know that it is better to architect perfectly than to syndicate efficiently. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We realize that it is better to enhance ultra-intuitively than to actualize seamlessly. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will maximize our ability to architect without lessening our capacity to unleash. HorsePorn is the industry leader of transparent intra-performance. Think intra-intuitive. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? If you enable dynamically, you may have to mesh virtually. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for managing unplanned-for biometrics? It may seem perplexing, but it's completely realistic! Our one-to-one, robust feature set is second to none, but our dot-com user interfaces and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of bloatware. We think we know that it is better to morph virtually than to incentivize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and DOM. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. The ability to reinvent robustly leads to the capability to drive transparently. We will cultivate the capacity of synergies to deploy. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. A company that can grow easily will (at some point) be able to synergize defiantly. Think back-end. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to extend proactively. A company that can leverage fiercely will (one day) be able to cultivate fiercely. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The schemas factor is sticky. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XML. The metrics factor is proactive. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be dynamic? Without well-chosen virally-distributed, synergistic web services, sticky Total Quality Management are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think real-world. Think out-of-the-box. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time.