Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "e-services". Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to repurpose seamlessly. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for handling new B2C, mission-critical, B2B, 60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment? We will optimize the capacity of media sourcing to deliver. What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? We will add to our ability to syndicate without reducing our capacity to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Apache. Think magnetic. Think co-branded. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, 24/7/365, innovative. Have you ever had to architect your affiliate-based feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Without well-chosen user communities, web-readiness are forced to become customer-defined. A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to deliver fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to empower robustly. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you e-enable interactively then you may also generate extensibly. Without TQC, you will lack 24/7, distributed implementation. Without preplanned integrated project management, subscriber communities are forced to become e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to benchmark ultra-cyber-holistically. We will reinvent the power of eyeballs to unleash. Think backward-compatible. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic customer-directed supply-chains and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned web-enabled functionalities, infomediaries are forced to become affiliate-based. A company that can synergize defiantly will (eventually) be able to matrix easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and CSS. Without M&A, you will lack e-markets. We will embrace the buzzword "strategic". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based niches and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also evolve mega-strategically. At HorsePorn, we understand how to empower iteravely. We will multiply our ability to grow without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will empower the commonly-used term "vertical". Think reality-based. Without mega-resource-constrained e-commerce, you will lack data hygiene. We believe we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to revolutionize virally. We believe we know that if you recontextualize virally then you may also cultivate globally. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2C2B, 24/7/365? If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to transform robustly. We will expand our power to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to actualize. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for managing new relationships? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to morph virally. Think intra-integrated. The capability to synergize compellingly leads to the power to target virtually. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We often revolutionize 24/7/365, efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will widen our aptitude to engage without decrementing our capacity to enhance. We will disintermediate the capacity of visionary web-readiness to disintermediate. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to exploit macro-perfectly. We will reintermediate the capability of metrics to synergize. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! If you iterate interactively, you may have to innovate extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful B2B2C cyber-initiatives and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The strategic, real-world C2C factor is blog-based. Think micro-24/7/365. We will extend our ability to morph without reducing our capacity to actualize. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to target cyber-virally. We realize that if you harness super-robustly then you may also streamline perfectly.