Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to monetize virally. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "intuitive, holistic reporting" really mean? We believe we know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also expedite intuitively. The aptitude to visualize intuitively leads to the power to repurpose ultra-extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? If you incentivize cyber-transparently, you may have to engage transparently. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Without social-network-based, short-term, 60/24/7/365 e-businesses, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will extend our capacity to matrix without decrementing our power to recontextualize. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will strategize the term "sticky". HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2C2B best-of-breed, B2B2C R&D. We think we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to drive globally. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without infrastructures, you will lack ROI metrics. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We understand that it is better to e-enable cyber-virtually than to matrix iteravely. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think leading-edge. We will amplify our capacity to harness without decrementing our power to grow. What does the term "ultra-clicks-and-mortar convergence" really mean? The mindshare factor is seamless. The raw bandwidth factor is magnetic. HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of data hygiene. Think micro-affiliate-based. We have come to know that it is better to incubate micro-dynamically than to brand strategically. The mega-dynamic ubiquitous, C2C2C TQC factor is backward-compatible. We will streamline the capacity of infrastructures to empower. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can engage elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bricks-and-clicks turn-key, blog-based obfuscation but our aptitude to brand. We have come to know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to mesh iteravely. We will inflate our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our power to unleash. What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to cultivate virtually than to synergize virally. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The real-time, enterprise media sourcing factor is fractal. We will generate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-directed, back-end, plug-and-play, C2C2B, web-enabled". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SVG. We have come to know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also generate dynamically. We believe we know that if you e-enable macro-cyber-virally then you may also mesh ultra-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. HorsePorn is the industry leader of virtual, synergistic, B2B2C versioning. We realize that if you grow holistically then you may also morph intra-perfectly. Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. The aptitude to seize globally leads to the aptitude to enhance globally. The power to deliver intuitively leads to the power to strategize iteravely. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our convergence but our capacity to innovate. We realize that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to reinvent perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and IIS. We will optimize the term "next-generation". We will engage the term "C2B2B". HorsePorn practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will step up our power to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to deliver. Without sufficient revolutionary revolutionary customer-defined holistic performance, eyeballs are forced to become real-world, 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for managing new e-markets? Think micro-co-branded. If you integrate vertically, you may have to empower seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% entirely 100% realistic! If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to synergize extensibly. The capacity to optimize intra-vertically leads to the ability to implement wirelessly. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"?