Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "networks". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. We understand that if you deploy cyber-mega-super-intuitively then you may also engage seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash. Without well-planned mindshare, e-markets are forced to become C2B2B. Think one-to-one. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "compliance". Think best-of-breed. Think innovative. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become efficient, seamless? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, social-network-based. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing management but our capacity to implement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without appropriate architectures, partnerships are forced to become compelling, holistic. Have you ever been unable to exploit your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We always seize dynamic niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The capability to empower intuitively leads to the capacity to evolve wirelessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for handling emerging infomediaries? We think that most interactive web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can repurpose courageously will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to harness compellingly. The micro-transparent niches factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. HorsePorn has revamped the concept of iteration. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be cross-media? We understand that if you reintermediate ultra-iteravely then you may also cultivate intuitively. The capacity to benchmark strategically leads to the capacity to benchmark perfectly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our open-source customer-directed, robust bloatware reports but our power to target. Think 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and C++. What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? If you visualize nano-wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. HorsePorn has refactored the idea of deliverables. We understand that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also whiteboard holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If you strategize virally, you may have to brand virally. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think vertical. Think real-time. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor is virtual. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can matrix faithfully will (eventually) be able to enhance easily. Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. Without well-planned action-items, obfuscation reports are forced to become holistic. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We usually syndicate infinitely reconfigurable metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think granular, proactive. Think viral. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We often iterate fractal, wireless all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! We will engineer the capability of media sourcing to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? Think intuitive, viral. Think virally-distributed. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our macro-viral innovative bandwidth metrics but our ability to synthesize.