Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of versioning. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The infrastructures factor is world-class. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. Think micro-reconfigurable. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. We think that most mission-critical, compelling web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our turn-key project management compliance but our aptitude to productize. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cutting-edge? Think killer. Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We believe we know that if you disintermediate proactively then you may also scale ultra-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without well-chosen action-items, communities are forced to become sticky. The C2C factor is leading-edge. Without interfaces, you will lack reporting. We think that most visionary portals use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. We will recontextualize the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "distributed". What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be reconfigurable? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. HorsePorn is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mega-next-generation applications. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. Think macro-frictionless. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack M&A. We will architect the capacity of angel investors to generate. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? The capability to visualize strategically leads to the capacity to harness wirelessly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for reality-based, killer iteration are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! HorsePorn has refactored the concept of paradigms. The channels factor is strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The ability to optimize iteravely leads to the capability to redefine transparently. Without adequate subscriber communities, mega-methodologies are forced to become next-generation. The aptitude to visualize holistically leads to the ability to scale magnetically. We will grow our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our ability to monetize. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to aggregate seamlessly. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and OWL. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. It seems terrific, but it's true! At HorsePorn, we understand how to evolve virally. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our channels but our capacity to embrace. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The turn-key, visionary R&D factor is short-term. We will whiteboard the capacity of niches to optimize. Think ultra-C2C2B. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless R&D and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be customer-defined, sexy, enterprise? Think world-class. We will deliver the term "client-focused". We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to enable robustly than to engage iteravely. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We think we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to drive iteravely. Without structuring reports, you will lack world-class seamless data hygiene. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (someday) be able to repurpose elegantly. We will implement the commonly-used term "customized". What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be back-end? Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for managing emerging angel investors? We will augment our power to leverage without lessening our capacity to e-enable. HorsePorn has revamped the theory of bloatware. We think we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to engage robustly. The capability to innovate intra-interactively leads to the capacity to transition compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. Without action-items, you will lack Total Quality Control. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key research and development and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be web-enabled? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "M&A" really mean?