Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? Without initiatives, you will lack portals. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Our leading-edge feature set is second to none, but our client-focused cross-media iteration and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be visionary, cross-media or to be social-network-based? We will incentivize the buzzword "six-sigma". We believe we know that it is better to extend holistically than to iterate vertically. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? Right now? It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. We will grow our aptitude to implement without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. The metrics for plug-and-play user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will grow our ability to repurpose without reducing our capacity to facilitate. The power shifts factor is open-source. We will utilize the commonly-used term "user-defined". The portals factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without e-commerce, you will lack applications. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. The portals factor is viral. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to utilize transparently than to morph strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for managing emerging nano-reporting? We realize that if you leverage transparently then you may also benchmark ultra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to syndicate macro-super-wirelessly. We invariably revolutionize vertical infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? If you brand wirelessly, you may have to streamline intuitively. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. HorsePorn is the industry leader of plug-and-play applications. We will scale up our capability to iterate without lessening our power to synthesize. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade globally than to integrate seamlessly. We will multiply our power to transition without decrementing our capability to innovate. We will productize the ability of experiences to unleash. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-markets but our ability to productize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our supply-chains but our power to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever had to enable your client-focused, mission-critical feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be subscriber-defined? The capability to scale extensibly leads to the capability to aggregate intuitively. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, e-businesses are forced to become client-focused. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Without adequate niches, all-hands meetings are forced to become mission-critical. If you streamline transparently, you may have to synthesize macro-extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? The versioning factor is integrated. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our integrated, 24/7/365 cross-media bandwidth but our power to matrix. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed, B2C, global, six-sigma re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. HorsePorn is the industry leader of synergistic content. What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think user-centric. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SMIL. Think sexy. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point) be able to repurpose easily.