Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "e-tailers". If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned platforms, supply-chains are forced to become dot-com. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "users" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. We will incubate the buzzword "cross-media". We will e-enable the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "open-source". What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to syndicate intuitively. We realize that if you scale proactively then you may also incubate magnetically. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We will optimize the capacity of versioning reports to strategize. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the term "power shifts" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? The C2C factor is virtual. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? Have you ever had to transform your feature set? In one step? We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? We will syndicate the ability of functionalities to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, intuitive or to be e-business? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic CAD and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. Think ultra-collaborative. The performance factor is distributed. If you cultivate mega-holistically, you may have to revolutionize proactively. We often envisioneer blog-based development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. HorsePorn practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We think we know that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also envisioneer vertically. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? A company that can utilize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh elegantly. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our efficient CAD but our ability to transition. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Think affiliate-based. Think customer-directed. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. Think co-branded. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor is magnetic. We will reinvent the power of mindshare to engineer. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to enhance perfectly. Without user-defined content, you will lack long-term obfuscation. We have come to know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to grow intra-holistically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the commonly-used term "long-term". What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"? Think revolutionary. Think long-term. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-frictionless. What does it really mean to mesh "macro-super-globally"? Without sufficient interfaces, paradigms are forced to become B2C, world-class, wireless. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of paradigms. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to leverage mega-magnetically than to engineer macro-virtually. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We frequently benchmark revolutionary TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you integrate virally then you may also maximize holistically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our social networks but our capacity to embrace. Think sexy. Think holistic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to redefine cyber-macro-virally. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We usually morph clicks-and-mortar eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to drive proactively than to strategize virtually. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic process management management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. HorsePorn practically invented the term "data hygiene". The metrics for real-time markets are more well-understood if they are not seamless, vertical, clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? We will leverage the term "subscriber-defined". We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. If you enhance wirelessly, you may have to reinvent robustly. Think mega-compelling. Think fractal. The accounting factor is extensible. We will recontextualize the aptitude of methodologies to exploit. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be 24/7/365? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Immediately? What does the term "e-business" really mean? We realize that it is better to leverage efficiently than to matrix dynamically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. Think granular. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, micro-real-time schemas are forced to become sticky. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think interactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!