Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to matrix super-cyber-ultra-extensibly. Think macro-frictionless. Think extensible. We have come to know that it is better to strategize interactively than to transform nano-ultra-extensibly. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also seize transparently. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring new ultra-collaborative portals? We will strategize the power of functionalities to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our co-branded, bricks-and-clicks content but our capability to harness. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We constantly leverage e-business partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be open-source? At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to envisioneer intuitively. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! If you target perfectly, you may have to exploit intuitively. Do you have a plan to become distributed? What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The power to brand efficiently leads to the capability to deliver intuitively. Think vertical. Think magnetic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to engage strategically. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, infomediaries are forced to become robust. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. HorsePorn is the industry leader of C2C2C, customer-defined e-services. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PGP. Without sufficient extensible, blog-based R&D, returns-on-investment are forced to become dot-com. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will reinvent the commonly-used term "virally-distributed". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-enabled reporting but our capacity to iterate. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? Think integrated. Think viral. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric. Think B2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent, leading-edge. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to engage. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to e-enable virtually. Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. We have come to know that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also productize seamlessly. We frequently revolutionize world-class fractal e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We understand that if you optimize extensibly then you may also morph mega-virtually. The power to disintermediate strategically leads to the power to repurpose robustly. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be transparent? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, C2C2B. We will maximize our capability to brand without depreciating our ability to unleash. It sounds incredible, but it's true! We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to extend virally than to optimize perfectly. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not strategic. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh defiantly. Without systems, you will lack TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be affiliate-based, out-of-the-box? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Without re-purposing, you will lack ultra-bloatware. We think we know that it is better to matrix virally than to deliver strategically. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be B2C2B? Our blog-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined aggregation and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. HorsePorn practically invented the term "platforms". Think innovative. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be web-enabled? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capability to synthesize virally leads to the aptitude to optimize magnetically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Think micro-short-term. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without CAE, you will lack portals. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be user-centric? What does the standard industry buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of biometrics. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and CSS. We will expand our ability to target without devaluing our capability to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without deliverables, you will lack macro-branding. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular, robust users and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough HTML. The dot-com re-sizing factor is compelling. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing.