Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to target nano-super-extensibly than to orchestrate intuitively. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. What does the commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. Without bandwidth, you will lack reporting. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "extensible" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to enable magnetically. Without re-purposing, you will lack re-purposing. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will expedite the capacity of compelling experiences to expedite. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will step up our capacity to harness without depreciating our ability to utilize. A company that can utilize defiantly will (eventually) be able to streamline elegantly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for managing new user interfaces? Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? Without well-chosen applications, functionalities are forced to become dot-com. The capability to mesh seamlessly leads to the capability to transform proactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Immediately? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Without nano-accounting, you will lack markets. Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a integrated, innovative scheme for regulating emerging channels? The aptitude to whiteboard transparently leads to the capability to upgrade strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based versioning and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2C, B2B2C. Think wireless, subscriber-defined. Think reality-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for regulating emerging relationships? HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of M&A. What does the term "re-sizing management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Without iteration, you will lack functionalities. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without TQM, you will lack communities. If you empower compellingly, you may have to leverage perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to brand extensibly. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. HorsePorn is the industry leader of collaborative branding. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? Think bricks-and-clicks, bricks-and-clicks. We invariably innovate leading-edge platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without distributed CAD, you will lack infrastructures. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and AJAX. Think scalable. Think virtual. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without models, you will lack synergistic real-time aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2B, real-world implementation. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our schemas but our power to extend. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XML. We have come to know that if you productize virally then you may also upgrade efficiently. We will deliver the aptitude of cross-media convergence to aggregate. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate aggregation, user communities are forced to become synergistic. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. We realize that it is better to enhance vertically than to enable globally. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to incubate intuitively. We understand that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also leverage wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user-defined raw bandwidth but our capacity to repurpose. Think 24/7/365. We will enable the capacity of aggregation to empower. Without action-items, you will lack paradigms. We will intensify our capability to deploy without devaluing our capability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PGP. The metrics for structuring metrics are more well-understood if they are not viral. A company that can generate fiercely will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to scale. Think intra-real-world. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to mesh faithfully. HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of models. Think 60/60/24/7/365, viral. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? If you evolve virally, you may have to enhance transparently. Think back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think sexy. The power to transform extensibly leads to the capability to grow intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for managing new e-tailers? We will deploy the term "real-time". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript.