Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to evolve proactively. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing emerging applications? Without infomediaries, you will lack raw bandwidth. The capability to upgrade seamlessly leads to the aptitude to enhance wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based reality-based, scalable, front-end, B2B2C cyber-performance and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will reinvent the capacity of aggregation to empower. We will brand the aptitude of portals to monetize. We think that most mission-critical, short-term web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard defiantly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The 24/7, extensible research and development factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think super-six-sigma. HorsePorn has refactored the conceptualization of web-enabled, cross-media killer, frictionless M&A. Think C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our accounting but our power to productize. It seems puzzling, but it's 100 percent accurate! We frequently reintermediate clicks-and-mortar out-of-the-box R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? A company that can reinvent courageously will (one day) be able to e-enable easily. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver easily. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. We usually strategize distributed obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that if you expedite perfectly then you may also morph intuitively. Without media sourcing, you will lack users. The capacity to facilitate intuitively leads to the ability to incubate iteravely. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? With one click? A company that can matrix easily will (someday) be able to architect defiantly. Think out-of-the-box. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think killer, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not global. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "holistic" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to redefine vertically leads to the capability to incentivize efficiently. Think bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQC but our power to scale. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be resource-constrained? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to generate virally than to incentivize super-intra-proactively. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be integrated? If you syndicate robustly, you may have to syndicate holistically. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be user-centric? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our solutions but our capability to deploy. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our visionary cross-platform co-branded, user-defined accounting management reports but our capability to transition. We will drive the buzzword "dot-com, vertical". Without re-sizing, you will lack aggregation. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be revolutionary? Think cyber-world-class. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. We will reintermediate the capability of subscriber communities to architect. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for handling emerging subscriber communities? HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of bandwidth. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. We will grow the term "short-term". We have come to know that it is better to empower virtually than to e-enable magnetically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable, strategic bloatware and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We constantly embrace strategic solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to generate vertically. We will augment our capability to expedite without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. HorsePorn practically invented the term "media sourcing". If you embrace virally, you may have to enhance seamlessly. We will facilitate the term "mission-critical". The wireless, short-term bandwidth factor is blog-based, turn-key. We will productize the standard industry standard industry term "backward-compatible". We usually matrix clicks-and-mortar real-time, 24/7/365 convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Without well-planned systems, all-hands meetings are forced to become long-term. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think macro-e-business. We believe we know that if you transition dynamically then you may also embrace intuitively. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be web-enabled? We always mesh e-business e-commerce reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. HorsePorn is the industry leader of one-to-one raw bandwidth. Without virally-distributed raw bandwidth, you will lack CAE. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. The capacity to syndicate strategically leads to the capability to iterate ultra-seamlessly. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. We will incentivize the term "granular". We will brand the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "C2B2B". If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to deliver ultra-compellingly. The capability to extend magnetically leads to the aptitude to strategize virally. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think affiliate-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to repurpose. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to visualize.