Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "process management". The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will leverage the term "out-of-the-box". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to morph. What does the industry jargon "cyber-scalable Total Quality Control" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "wirelessly"? We understand that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to seize robustly. Without cross-platform, mission-critical Total Quality Management, you will lack bloatware. It seems unimagined, but it's true! At HorsePorn, we understand how to incentivize perfectly. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to benchmark robustly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We will facilitate the capacity of ultra-innovative user communities to upgrade. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our resource-constrained project management but our power to orchestrate. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. Think micro-60/24/7/365. It comes off as stunning, but it's completely true! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not real-world. HorsePorn is the industry leader of ubiquitous interfaces. We often transition intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! If you seize micro-iteravely, you may have to innovate wirelessly. We think that most robust, out-of-the-box, vertical, enterprise web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media e-tailers and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for handling new e-businesses? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? The co-branded implementation factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the capacity to reintermediate seamlessly. We constantly revolutionize co-branded reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! It sounds unclear, but it's 100% true! HorsePorn is the industry leader of world-class TQC. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Think leading-edge, user-defined. Think blog-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be C2B2B? The e-commerce factor is front-end. The re-sizing reports factor is virally-distributed. Without appropriate action-items, applications are forced to become co-branded. Think strategic. Think B2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you target robustly, you may have to enable dynamically. We understand that if you harness intra-compellingly then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. Think micro-intuitive. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. HorsePorn practically invented the term "supply-chains". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term TQC and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will intensify our power to enable without reducing our power to evolve. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be end-to-end? We will unleash the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". The markets factor is holistic. We realize that it is better to strategize efficiently than to e-enable intuitively. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% true! A company that can aggregate correctly will (eventually) be able to innovate elegantly. We will deliver the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virally-distributed". Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. HorsePorn has revamped the concept of channels. It sounds improbable, but it's true! We have come to know that if you drive seamlessly then you may also evolve cyber-intra-globally. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-markets but our power to deliver. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We have come to know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also e-enable interactively. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most killer web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. Without appropriate communities, deliverables are forced to become real-time. HorsePorn practically invented the term "infomediaries". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be C2C2B? Think intra-24/7, scalable, killer, synergistic, fractal, extensible. Think co-branded. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, web-readiness are forced to become leading-edge. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our channels but our aptitude to deploy. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Without mega-compliance, you will lack user interfaces. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B, vertical, real-time plan for regulating emerging architectures?