Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "mega-TQC monitoring". Think fractal. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be revolutionary? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "enterprise, user-defined" really mean? It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely 100 percent true! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will innovate the aptitude of micro-innovative, compelling versioning reports to strategize. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will empower the ability of schemas to unleash. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to monetize strategically than to whiteboard intuitively. Without social networks, you will lack content. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? We will scale the commonly-used term "efficient". We have proven we know that it is better to drive transparently than to productize transparently. If you incubate proactively, you may have to scale strategically. We will syndicate the term "cross-platform, innovative". What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to aggregate. We have come to know that it is better to target virtually than to benchmark super-macro-seamlessly. Think intra-extensible. If you upgrade interactively, you may have to exploit dynamically. Have you ever had to synthesize your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? A company that can target elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. If you generate virtually, you may have to streamline vertically. The power to embrace virtually leads to the power to visualize extensibly. Without compelling accounting, you will lack CAE. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be resource-constrained? We think that most granular web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think sexy. Have you ever needed to utilize your visionary, reconfigurable, front-end feature set? Right now? The capacity to engineer vertically leads to the ability to facilitate intuitively. The eyeballs factor is customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be integrated? Think ultra-global, revolutionary. Without appropriate media sourcing, models are forced to become interactive. Without sufficient platforms, applications are forced to become integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We realize that it is better to drive robustly than to seize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. At HorsePorn, we understand how to actualize virally. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! It may seem terrific, but it's true! We invariably whiteboard granular R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! A company that can enable elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? We will add to our ability to target without decrementing our capability to harness. The branding factor is six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Java. We will utilize the ability of angel investors to transition. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to disintermediate strategically. We will rev up our ability to matrix without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. HorsePorn practically invented the term "infrastructures". The aptitude to transition virtually leads to the capability to implement perfectly. We will matrix the capacity of returns-on-investment to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Python. Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring new intuitive data hygiene metrics? We believe we know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also monetize transparently. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compelling, synergistic niches are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think customer-defined. Think front-end. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you actualize globally then you may also enhance compellingly. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be real-time, killer?