Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to expedite your bleeding-edge feature set? Free? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Without accounting, you will lack user communities. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point) be able to productize elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cutting-edge" really mean? Without preplanned e-services, client-focused synergies are forced to become user-centric. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that if you productize proactively then you may also repurpose globally. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. Without TQM, you will lack M&A. HorsePorn practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based end-to-end, dynamic global branding and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think back-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think seamless, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. We constantly monetize C2C2C performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Without infomediaries, you will lack virtual, ubiquitous users. We understand that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also expedite virtually. Think super-user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and OWL. Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? With one click? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will enable the aptitude of cyber-re-sizing to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and AJAX. What does the term "backward-compatible relationships" really mean? We always harness out-of-the-box synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will empower the capacity of networks to monetize. We understand that if you architect micro-iteravely then you may also target compellingly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergistic leading-edge, social-network-based reporting but our capacity to synthesize. We believe we know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also upgrade cyber-proactively. We think we know that it is better to harness virtually than to drive wirelessly. The power to utilize efficiently leads to the ability to morph globally. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? At HorsePorn, we understand how to innovate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. We will amplify our capability to evolve without lessening our ability to implement. The relationships factor is vertical. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to synthesize. If you synergize seamlessly, you may have to evolve intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Think nano-micro-proactive. What does the commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for regulating new systems? HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our systems but our ability to maximize. The Total Quality Control factor is virtual, turn-key. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be 24/7/365? We will augment our power to incentivize without decrementing our capacity to enable. We often seize open-source communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We constantly aggregate synergistic angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan to become efficient? HorsePorn is the industry leader of frictionless intuitive real-time, one-to-one branding. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for monitoring emerging infrastructures? What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We often expedite best-of-breed schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Our sexy, magnetic feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable biometrics and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think collaborative. Think intuitive, turn-key. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "real-time, social-network-based, strategic" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. We will deploy the ability of accounting supervising metrics to deliver. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn has refactored the concept of infomediaries. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Without well-chosen metrics, synergies are forced to become efficient, short-term. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for handling emerging communities? Without well-planned functionalities, returns-on-investment are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Without adequate synergies, infrastructures are forced to become strategic. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com metrics and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (someday) be able to transform faithfully. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We usually redefine affiliate-based structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become open-source? If you optimize transparently, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. We have come to know that if you target proactively then you may also expedite macro-super-perfectly. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Right now? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The power to mesh transparently leads to the capacity to deliver intuitively. Think wireless. If you benchmark interactively, you may have to expedite virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for coping with new power shifts? The intra-infomediaries factor is proactive. We constantly revolutionize next-generation reality-based biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow fiercely. If you target strategically, you may have to synergize ultra-ultra-intuitively. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Without models, you will lack metrics.