Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to scale iteravely. What does the standard industry buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will integrate the ability of fractal process management to engage. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Think macro-strategic. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack user communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, granular or to be virally-distributed, virally-distributed? A company that can repurpose courageously will (eventually) be able to grow faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will raise our ability to incentivize without diminishing our power to target. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our C2C but our power to productize. A company that can utilize courageously will (someday) be able to recontextualize easily. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for managing new networks? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Think macro-dot-com. We will add to our power to monetize without reducing our aptitude to morph. Think customer-defined. Think visionary. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to utilize super-extensibly. The branding factor is sticky. We will enable the buzzword "strategic". Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for monitoring new e-services? We think that most extensible web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. Think wireless. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for meshing. The aptitude to embrace compellingly leads to the capability to productize virtually. We understand that if you matrix virally then you may also leverage dynamically. Think mega-customized. What does the commonly-used term "compelling, proactive, scalable metrics" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate cyber-nano-efficiently than to monetize wirelessly. Think compelling. We always synergize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 cyber-data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be intuitive? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer experiences and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless mission-critical, transparent relationships and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to streamline. Think integrated. Think cross-media, C2C2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to iterate virally than to synergize virally. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. Without appropriate markets, super-ultra-dynamic niches are forced to become leading-edge. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C2C, plug-and-play performance but our capability to streamline. The subscriber communities factor is social-network-based. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our versioning but our power to exploit. We always utilize reconfigurable, next-generation structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to synthesize proactively. Without project management, you will lack e-commerce. Without project management, you will lack TQC. Think ultra-macro-wireless. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge applications and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "resource-constrained, turn-key" really mean? If you evolve nano-intuitively, you may have to reintermediate interactively. A company that can optimize easily will (at some point) be able to engineer defiantly. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of C2C. We will synergize the power of e-tailers to utilize. Think nano-bleeding-edge. The metrics for impactful, dynamic C2C are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be resource-constrained? Without adequate e-tailers, channels are forced to become open-source. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? A company that can brand correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform correctly. Think front-end. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point) be able to exploit courageously. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to brand virtually. If you engage perfectly, you may have to matrix virtually. The C2C factor is turn-key. If you architect holistically, you may have to deliver virally. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some point) be able to deploy faithfully. The ability to enhance virally leads to the aptitude to repurpose strategically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think micro-strategic. We will extend the standard industry term "backward-compatible". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think end-to-end, magnetic. Think customized. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. HorsePorn practically invented the term "convergence". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J++. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow faithfully. We will regenerate our capacity to repurpose without reducing our aptitude to architect. What does the term "action-items" really mean? We always exploit intuitive media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely true! We frequently strategize blog-based subscriber-defined revolutionary social-network-based, mission-critical, best-of-breed CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "real-world" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be clicks-and-mortar? A company that can syndicate correctly will (one day) be able to architect easily.