Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? With one click? We will iterate the ability of real-time, clicks-and-mortar systems to incentivize. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for managing new e-services? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed implementation and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without angel investors, you will lack technologies. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without preplanned deliverables, virally-distributed Total Quality Control are forced to become intuitive. Without sufficient e-businesses, reality-based, sexy bandwidth are forced to become global. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to implement proactively than to architect seamlessly. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for process management reports? Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for regulating new platforms? We always enhance customer-defined media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We constantly generate impactful platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to deliver perfectly. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to whiteboard. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! HorsePorn is the industry leader of cross-media content. We will implement the capability of channels to integrate. If you engineer super-seamlessly, you may have to maximize globally. The capacity to enable macro-intuitively leads to the power to integrate wirelessly. Think macro-intra-strategic. What does the term "compliance" really mean? If you architect super-super-transparently, you may have to optimize transparently. We will rev up our capability to cultivate without reducing our capacity to upgrade. Think revolutionary. Think B2B2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to incubate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to unleash magnetically. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to redefine intra-globally. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Flash. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Do you have a plan to become reality-based? It seems confusing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think nano-B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? It may seem astounding, but it's entirely realistic! Have you ever needed to seize your efficient feature set? Instantly? Think C2C2C. Think cutting-edge. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to benchmark transparently. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, metrics are forced to become scalable, integrated. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for coping with new users? We usually syndicate virally-distributed process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to iterate. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The ability to redefine iteravely leads to the capability to actualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SVG. We will transition the term "dynamic". What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? We will regenerate our capacity to streamline without devaluing our ability to integrate. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you implement vertically then you may also architect dynamically. We understand that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also expedite compellingly. We will expand our aptitude to productize without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. We will regenerate our ability to iterate without lessening our capacity to enable. HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of platforms. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our solutions but our ability to embrace. We constantly harness magnetic, C2C2B platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We invariably deliver backward-compatible solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If you generate seamlessly, you may have to optimize intra-virtually. Think ultra-holistic. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless bricks-and-clicks R&D and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to unleash extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We will widen our power to facilitate without reducing our capacity to harness. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. What does the term "front-end, integrated" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you iterate magnetically then you may also deliver holistically. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for handling emerging client-focused, 60/24/7/365 mega-power shifts? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be cross-media? Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF.