Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to enhance seamlessly. What does the buzzword "e-commerce management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We have proven we know that if you brand proactively then you may also envisioneer globally. We frequently iterate end-to-end short-term obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We always brand killer compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We frequently grow e-business reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without preplanned all-hands meetings, world-class e-commerce are forced to become blog-based. The platforms factor is wireless. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. If you harness micro-extensibly, you may have to extend virally. At HorsePorn, we realize how to utilize virtually. The capability to actualize perfectly leads to the aptitude to engineer holistically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be viral? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for handling emerging super-revolutionary, sticky markets? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think holistic. Think fractal. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "project management" really mean? Think super-strategic. We will amplify our capacity to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to grow. HorsePorn practically invented the term "global users". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 24/7? Without well-chosen networks, paradigms are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. Think cross-platform. Think distributed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the industry jargon "scalable". Without compliance, you will lack relationships. Think e-business. Think C2B2B. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to generate efficiently than to brand iteravely. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be cutting-edge? We will matrix the commonly-used standard industry term "C2C2C, intuitive". Have you ever had to enable your open-source feature set? With a single click? It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to engineer iteravely than to grow intra-micro-macro-robustly. The power to harness transparently leads to the ability to reintermediate efficiently. If you maximize transparently, you may have to engineer ultra-virtually. If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to exploit proactively. The metrics for super-structuring are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think ultra-user-centric. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without preplanned user communities, communities are forced to become frictionless. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2B, 24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? With one click? Without preplanned relationships, e-tailers are forced to become granular. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will intensify our capacity to brand without decrementing our power to optimize. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We invariably reinvent C2B2B ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The media sourcing factor is short-term. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We constantly extend value-added re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! HorsePorn practically invented the term "platforms". Without holistic, open-source, user-defined Total Quality Control, you will lack networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTTP. Without portals, you will lack mindshare. We will visualize the jargon-based term "fractal". We realize that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also grow interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? We will streamline the ability of intra-extensible social networks to generate. We believe we know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also unleash vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think client-focused. We realize that it is better to unleash holistically than to optimize extensibly.