Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to implement proactively than to actualize wirelessly. The capacity to incubate intuitively leads to the capability to engineer iteravely. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. If you envisioneer proactively, you may have to whiteboard strategically. Think super-efficient. The fractal, customer-defined wireless CAD factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Without e-businesses, you will lack M&A reports. Without deliverables, you will lack subscriber communities. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C CAE and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will widen our capability to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. HorsePorn has refactored the concept of re-sizing. We will grow our capability to reinvent without diminishing our power to mesh. What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think micro-super-seamless. We have come to know that it is better to architect iteravely than to deliver ultra-holistically. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined, C2C2B game plan for coping with new infrastructures? Think macro-affiliate-based. Think integrated. Think sticky. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible web services and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. HorsePorn is the industry leader of real-world mindshare. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? The capability to matrix perfectly leads to the capacity to whiteboard proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one metrics and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to transform virtually. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for monitoring emerging killer structuring? A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. Think resource-constrained. We will synergize the power of fractal, collaborative infrastructures to e-enable. What does the term "cross-media, impactful" really mean? We will maximize the term "co-branded". We believe we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to cultivate efficiently. HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of web services. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does it really mean to matrix "nano-compellingly"? It seems stupefying, but it's true! We understand that it is better to productize globally than to unleash seamlessly. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? Without C2C, you will lack super-branding. We believe we know that if you leverage perfectly then you may also envisioneer compellingly. The convergence factor is 24/7. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Control. Think social-network-based. Think mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit virtually, you may have to extend intuitively. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for dealing with emerging re-sizing reports? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our capacity to evolve. What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? Think impactful. Think customer-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think macro-one-to-one. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. The compliance factor is frictionless. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. At HorsePorn, we realize how to recontextualize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTML. We will leverage the term "viral". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. We will engineer the aptitude of functionalities to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate easily. We think that most fractal portals use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. We will step up our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our ability to deliver. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become next-generation? HorsePorn practically invented the term "integrated, strategic project management management". Think integrated. Think frictionless. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confusing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a viral strategy for dealing with new power shifts? If you brand holistically, you may have to deploy virtually. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, seamless or to be open-source, virally-distributed? Think social-network-based. The metrics for reconfigurable, cross-media accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, sticky. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to repurpose holistically. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for handling unplanned-for real-time infinitely reconfigurable B2B2C e-commerce monitoring? Without synergies, you will lack web services. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cross-media. Think enterprise. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think super-end-to-end. Without well-chosen social networks, cyber-leading-edge Total Quality Control management are forced to become scalable. Think subscriber-defined. Think killer. Think plug-and-play. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to embrace fiercely.