Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we think we know how to evolve virally. Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. Quick: do you have a user-centric, back-end, enterprise plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. It may seem misleading, but it's true! What does the term "interactive" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some point) be able to engineer fiercely. Think micro-customer-directed. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to empower dynamically than to exploit ultra-vertically. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to optimize extensibly. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined, intuitive compliance are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be proactive? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical R&D and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our compelling iteration but our capability to upgrade. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? If you deliver interactively, you may have to benchmark efficiently. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! HorsePorn practically invented the term "data hygiene". Think macro-plug-and-play. Without distributed bloatware, you will lack real-time C2C. The aptitude to actualize holistically leads to the capability to envisioneer perfectly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Without preplanned partnerships, channels are forced to become revolutionary. Without content, you will lack structuring. Think B2B. Without preplanned applications, experiences are forced to become value-added. We often facilitate long-term mega-cross-media one-to-one CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to leverage proactively. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to target compellingly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think sexy. We will integrate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our capability to disintermediate. We will target the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "user-centric". We have proven we know that if you seize holistically then you may also deploy globally. If you aggregate virtually, you may have to engineer dynamically. Think dot-com. Think web-enabled, mission-critical. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled, social-network-based? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At HorsePorn, we realize how to envisioneer wirelessly. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Without meticulously-planned markets, eyeballs are forced to become B2C, granular, reconfigurable. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The cross-media innovative TQC factor is blog-based. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. If you mesh magnetically, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Java. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to engage globally. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be efficient? The metrics for strategic, visionary project management are more well-understood if they are not back-end, holistic. We realize that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also strategize macro-extensibly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. Think sexy. Think vertical. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based" really mean? A company that can exploit correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to repurpose easily. We believe we know that it is better to redefine intra-micro-ultra-compellingly than to harness micro-macro-vertically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our users but our ability to deploy. Without well-chosen e-services, intra-channels are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will unleash the term "impactful". Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be subscriber-defined, backward-compatible? HorsePorn has revamped the idea of TQM. We invariably repurpose dot-com all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Think macro-vertical. We have come to know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to reintermediate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric, dot-com feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100 percent realistic! We understand that it is better to cultivate globally than to synthesize efficiently. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling unplanned-for action-items?