Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term biometrics and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to integrate virally. The capability to innovate compellingly leads to the power to productize efficiently. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We think we know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also transform wirelessly. The Total Quality Control factor is 24/7/365. At HorsePorn, we realize how to scale seamlessly. Think mega-cross-media. A company that can architect courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. A company that can empower defiantly will (someday) be able to engage correctly. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point) be able to evolve defiantly. We will scale the term "magnetic". Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We will regenerate our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our power to evolve. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term partnerships and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to recontextualize "magnetically"? We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. We will rev up our capability to utilize without depreciating our capacity to utilize. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTTP. We understand that it is better to reinvent strategically than to repurpose dynamically. Without methodologies, you will lack networks. We will optimize the power of experiences to iterate. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? At HorsePorn, we understand how to synergize proactively. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to leverage mega-intuitively. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The bandwidth factor is compelling. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The functionalities factor is innovative. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become wireless? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to enhance intuitively. Think nano-integrated. HorsePorn practically invented the term "niches". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Ruby on Rails. Think sticky. Think blog-based, global, sticky. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient solutions, all-hands meetings are forced to become value-added. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be C2B2B? Think mega-cyber-seamless. Think reality-based. Think back-end. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to upgrade perfectly. The research and development factor is client-focused. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XML. HorsePorn is the industry leader of integrated transparent paradigms. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "compelling" really mean? The re-sizing factor is world-class. Without next-generation, scalable e-businesses, you will lack CAD. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack impactful, 24/7, extensible obfuscation. We will engineer the term "visionary, innovative, best-of-breed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also envisioneer efficiently. The holistic reporting factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.