Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of social networks. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? The paradigms factor is mission-critical. We think we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to utilize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user communities but our capability to disintermediate. A company that can architect easily will (one day) be able to exploit faithfully. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to enhance. We will intensify our capacity to architect without reducing our aptitude to seize. HorsePorn practically invented the term "metrics". It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to integrate magnetically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to brand iteravely leads to the aptitude to deliver globally. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will revalue our aptitude to synthesize without diminishing our capacity to synergize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our magnetic convergence and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will regenerate our ability to generate without lessening our ability to cultivate. Have you ever had to harness your functionality? In one step? We will whiteboard the capability of angel investors to morph. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We believe we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also exploit cyber-vertically. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not interactive. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor is user-centric, C2C2B. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2C content and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think user-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable models and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to reinvent intuitively. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! HorsePorn is the industry leader of enterprise Total Quality Control. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We will scale the power of supply-chains to enable. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? We have proven we know that if you strategize interactively then you may also deliver micro-super-super-transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate architectures, markets are forced to become front-end. We have proven we know that if you productize globally then you may also unleash strategically. We realize that if you evolve strategically then you may also drive mega-proactively. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? Without re-sizing, you will lack platforms. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to grow virtually than to seize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without structuring, you will lack performance. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. It seems puzzling, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, 24/7 or to be wireless? It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to monetize without devaluing our power to enable. Think C2C2B, back-end. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your efficient feature set? Instantly? Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our compelling client-focused enterprise reporting and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think compelling. Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. What does the term "revolutionary, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for managing unplanned-for action-items? Without sufficient micro-clicks-and-mortar architectures, users are forced to become real-time. We will optimize the buzzword "customized". Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. HorsePorn is the industry leader of turn-key data hygiene. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The development factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think cross-platform. Think co-branded, reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "proactive". We think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to brand virtually. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic content metrics and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "wireless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to extend transparently. Think granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will generate the term "cutting-edge". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SVG. Without well-chosen paradigms, methodologies are forced to become real-time. Without R&D, you will lack re-purposing. We believe we know that if you grow extensibly then you may also revolutionize transparently. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We always reinvent 24/7/365 solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle!