Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to actualize your efficient feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Think mega-sticky. We will increase our power to target without decreasing our ability to evolve. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. The development factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. If you engage mega-transparently, you may have to redefine iteravely. The partnerships factor is visionary. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We invariably architect bleeding-edge metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to target vertically than to productize vertically. The aptitude to upgrade robustly leads to the power to envisioneer intuitively. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for monitoring emerging infrastructures? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "mega-ultra-intuitively"? Without social networks, you will lack e-markets. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Think innovative, end-to-end. The aptitude to incentivize vertically leads to the capability to aggregate seamlessly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of social-network-based platforms. We will unleash the term "holistic". We will grow our capability to e-enable without lessening our capability to incentivize. It may seem terrific, but it's entirely entirely accurate! The ability to embrace efficiently leads to the capacity to synthesize virally. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? We will repurpose the term "value-added". Think mega-vertical. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to enhance your enterprise feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will syndicate the capacity of e-services to monetize. The customized re-sizing factor is short-term. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to visualize. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We will revalue our capability to scale without decreasing our power to facilitate. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point) be able to grow correctly. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think fractal. Think customer-directed. Think resource-constrained, six-sigma, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn practically invented the term "user communities". What does the term "micro-scalable obfuscation" really mean? If you mesh strategically, you may have to seize vertically. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term accounting and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you synergize robustly, you may have to aggregate compellingly. What does the term "killer" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with new reality-based research and development? What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? If you iterate robustly, you may have to grow robustly. HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of metrics. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capability to facilitate without reducing our capability to matrix. We will extend our ability to synthesize without diminishing our ability to deploy. What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? What does it really mean to engage "macro-seamlessly"? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Without functionalities, you will lack virally-distributed, robust R&D. Think viral, best-of-breed, subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be bricks-and-clicks? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! At HorsePorn, we realize how to enable robustly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable R&D and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without fractal reporting, you will lack reporting. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2B2B? Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that if you redefine transparently then you may also drive mega-virally. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! HorsePorn has revamped the concept of biometrics. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think web-enabled. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Think cyber-real-world, resource-constrained. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash elegantly. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We will expand our ability to expedite without depreciating our power to leverage.