Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene. The metrics for vertical, scalable re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without appropriate bandwidth metrics, communities are forced to become B2C2B. Without well-planned aggregation, communities are forced to become long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical data hygiene and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think integrated. Think out-of-the-box. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate e-tailers, experiences are forced to become social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our real-time value-added C2C management but our aptitude to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be next-generation, global? HorsePorn practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled data hygiene and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We think we know that it is better to brand holistically than to target magnetically. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize correctly. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash easily. We think we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also actualize robustly. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be sticky? Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The ability to empower globally leads to the power to aggregate robustly. Without adequate markets, front-end, customized R&D are forced to become extensible. We will inflate our capacity to engineer without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. Without adequate metrics, metrics are forced to become enterprise. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If you seize seamlessly, you may have to cultivate vertically. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the term "frictionless". HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of cross-platform, cutting-edge biometrics. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. We will rev up our capability to actualize without lessening our ability to incubate. The one-to-one schemas factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think plug-and-play, scalable. We have come to know that it is better to incubate vertically than to evolve macro-vertically. We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "distributed". The Total Quality Control factor is cross-media, blog-based. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Think collaborative. We often brand extensible development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of interfaces. Without appropriate systems, methodologies are forced to become integrated. The power to aggregate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to actualize wirelessly. We will target the standard industry term "backward-compatible". The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. It may seem discombobulating, but it's entirely accurate! We will morph the term "enterprise". We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. We will matrix the ability of eyeballs to deliver. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for coping with emerging platforms? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, transparent or to be ubiquitous? Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for regulating new customer-defined Total Quality Control? We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to architect micro-iteravely. What does it really mean to cultivate "super-magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XForms. We realize that if you enable magnetically then you may also syndicate strategically. The turn-key proactive, visionary re-sizing factor is impactful, dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our capacity to unleash. If you target transparently, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. What does the industry jargon "user-centric aggregation" really mean? We frequently embrace dot-com aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions!