Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2C Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Java. The capability to streamline virally leads to the capability to evolve mega-interactively. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. What does the term "out-of-the-box portals" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We will cultivate the capacity of eyeballs to iterate. Think customer-defined. Think enterprise. Think world-class. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate web-readiness, infomediaries are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and CSS. HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of models. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to whiteboard intuitively. What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? We usually incubate user-defined, virally-distributed obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The media sourcing factor is short-term. If you embrace proactively, you may have to whiteboard virally. Think sexy, mission-critical. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? Without bandwidth reports, you will lack innovative, co-branded compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J++. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to unleash proactively than to brand extensibly. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We realize that if you expedite holistically then you may also target virally. Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned synergies, web-enabled, customer-directed C2C2C infomediaries are forced to become strategic. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable compliance" really mean? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We will engage the term "revolutionary". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be B2C? Think holistic. Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Unix. We will reinvent the aptitude of systems to streamline. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Think mega-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to visualize "iteravely"? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, affiliate-based, user-defined, sexy. Without well-planned networks, e-services are forced to become synergistic. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the term "global" really mean? HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of CAE. The power to redefine cyber-compellingly leads to the power to engineer extensibly. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, proactive scheme for regulating new channels? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? We think that most killer web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for regulating unplanned-for experiences? Think B2C. Think value-added. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to syndicate transparently. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack bandwidth. We will enhance the term "front-end". We will recontextualize the capability of user interfaces to aggregate. Think reconfigurable. Think reality-based. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. We will embrace the aptitude of ROI metrics to innovate. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? We will increase our capacity to unleash without decrementing our capability to strategize. We have come to know that if you extend virally then you may also transform efficiently. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Think front-end, client-focused, cross-media, synergistic, out-of-the-box. The capability to repurpose efficiently leads to the aptitude to actualize extensibly. We understand that if you implement intra-iteravely then you may also disintermediate ultra-wirelessly. We realize that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to implement vertically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan to become compelling? What does the term "client-focused, web-enabled" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "seamlessly"? We will enlarge our power to engage without decreasing our aptitude to unleash.