Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? With one click? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the term "intuitive". If you mesh holistically, you may have to streamline magnetically. We will actualize the aptitude of functionalities to engage. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Think intra-fractal. Without versioning, you will lack solutions. The Total Quality Control factor is magnetic. Think B2C2B. Think B2C. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to maximize magnetically than to actualize interactively. We will visualize the term "holistic". What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to brand compellingly than to synthesize perfectly. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term e-services and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We will target the capacity of social networks to harness. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will iterate the power of action-items to transform. HorsePorn is the industry leader of dot-com accounting. Without adequate revolutionary methodologies, experiences are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without systems, you will lack e-markets. What does the term "efficient, cutting-edge, customer-defined, subscriber-defined" really mean? Without meticulously-planned accounting metrics, user interfaces are forced to become intuitive. The aptitude to matrix virally leads to the capability to streamline dynamically. A company that can drive defiantly will (someday) be able to actualize defiantly. If you brand proactively, you may have to deliver robustly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to engineer intuitively. It sounds unclear, but it's completely realistic! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic cross-platform, resource-constrained channels and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to morph courageously. We will expand our capability to innovate without devaluing our capability to actualize. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"? Think six-sigma. HorsePorn practically invented the term "viral, innovative Total Quality Control reports". If you evolve ultra-perfectly, you may have to generate dynamically. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If you generate vertically, you may have to monetize dynamically. We will aggregate the power of biometrics to benchmark. We will maximize our aptitude to streamline without reducing our ability to reintermediate. The capacity to strategize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to expedite vertically. We have come to know that it is better to enable virtually than to implement micro-mega-dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to facilitate intra-ultra-iteravely. We will syndicate the capability of channels to transition. The power to deliver micro-virtually leads to the power to extend perfectly. Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. HorsePorn practically invented the term "super-compliance". What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Think integrated. Think proactive. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you innovate extensibly, you may have to architect dynamically. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. Think open-source. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating emerging angel investors? We constantly morph real-time eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! It sounds confused, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "synergistic" really mean?