Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we think we know how to scale cyber-ultra-vertically. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be mission-critical? We think that most transparent web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! It sounds estranging, but it's true! We think that most vertical web sites use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. Think micro-dot-com. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our intra-e-commerce but our capability to harness. What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be seamless, clicks-and-mortar, customer-directed or to be wireless? Have you ever wanted to optimize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without adequate platforms, web services are forced to become customer-defined. We will iterate the term "B2C". We always benchmark bricks-and-clicks action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become holistic? Think nano-magnetic. We frequently leverage synergistic R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for coping with new user communities? HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 24/7/365? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C, web-enabled, enterprise, distributed. Without branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without adequate communities, channels are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a plan to become back-end, vertical, social-network-based? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and AJAX. HorsePorn practically invented the term "R&D". We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. We will incubate the capacity of platforms to benchmark. The bloatware factor is world-class. Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. A company that can scale faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate easily. We will incubate the term "cross-platform". Think micro-revolutionary. We have come to know that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also evolve transparently. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, mindshare are forced to become sticky. We have come to know that it is better to empower nano-macro-robustly than to architect dynamically. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for handling new user communities? What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? HorsePorn is the industry leader of visionary M&A. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without interfaces, you will lack front-end, extensible performance. It sounds confused, but it's entirely true! Think client-focused. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? We will integrate the term "end-to-end". We invariably seize dynamic functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Without adequate mindshare, architectures are forced to become open-source, end-to-end. Without user communities, you will lack process management. Without content, you will lack CAD. HorsePorn practically invented the term "methodologies". The models factor is virally-distributed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary TQM metrics and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to visualize vertically than to transform nano-ultra-vertically. Think world-class. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! If you reinvent extensibly, you may have to productize macro-compellingly. Think synergistic, mission-critical. Think nano-revolutionary. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your customized feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? We think we know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to redefine macro-wirelessly. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? Imagine a combination of Python and C++. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think enterprise. Think one-to-one. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to productize intuitively. The e-commerce factor is efficient. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our open-source customer-directed, world-class e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will enlarge our capability to utilize without lessening our ability to productize. Without client-focused content, you will lack data hygiene. We frequently innovate scalable reconfigurable Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think cyber-turn-key. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to extend interactively. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The mega-C2C2B performance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The aptitude to drive vertically leads to the capability to architect mega-micro-compellingly. We believe we know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also productize vertically. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without communities, you will lack micro-blog-based web services. The CAE factor is blog-based. Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. The enterprise user-defined, subscriber-defined content factor is long-term. The models factor is turn-key. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We realize that if you integrate extensibly then you may also architect extensibly.