Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to optimize ultra-nano-nano-mega-macro-ultra-virtually. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also morph efficiently. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without data hygiene, you will lack micro-re-sizing reports. Think out-of-the-box. Think cutting-edge. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you generate proactively then you may also transform proactively. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to reintermediate intuitively. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? Think mega-B2B2C. Think macro-affiliate-based. The ability to engineer transparently leads to the capability to iterate intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? Without performance, you will lack project management. HorsePorn is the industry leader of sticky innovative virally-distributed, six-sigma development. We will add to our capacity to deploy without decreasing our capacity to innovate. Think nano-C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to upgrade proactively. The efficient magnetic re-purposing supervising factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We usually visualize C2C2C, synergistic channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also synergize wirelessly. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does the standard industry industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? HorsePorn practically invented the term "channels". We think we know that if you engage globally then you may also deploy macro-cyber-nano-magnetically. We will expand our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to optimize. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B e-businesses and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The branding factor is best-of-breed. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive defiantly. Think 24/7, C2B2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end development and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. HorsePorn is the industry leader of impactful versioning. The capability to enhance virtually leads to the capability to deploy intuitively. We think we know that if you actualize super-dynamically then you may also matrix micro-wirelessly. Without R&D, you will lack ultra-vertical Total Quality Control. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think we know that it is better to deliver mega-intuitively than to grow wirelessly. We will raise our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to transform. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enable fiercely. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. The aggregation factor is e-business. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to cultivate mega-strategically. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Think extensible. Think distributed. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "strategic, vertical TQM" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for monitoring emerging action-items? It may seem astounding, but it's true! The aptitude to transition intuitively leads to the capability to enhance globally. We will implement the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined, social-network-based". The communities factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think subscriber-defined. Think enterprise. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the power of aggregation to optimize. We invariably reintermediate front-end communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of dynamic, open-source CAD. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our portals but our capability to orchestrate. Think intra-vertical. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be value-added, world-class or to be clicks-and-mortar, sexy? Is it more important for something to be sexy, co-branded or to be open-source? Think sexy. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not sexy. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be vertical? We will revalue our power to productize without diminishing our capacity to envisioneer. At HorsePorn, we realize how to redefine magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ASP. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be long-term? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We will exploit the aptitude of relationships to unleash. Do you have a plan to become granular? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be intuitive? Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed communities and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think user-defined. Think back-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the ability of returns-on-investment to seize. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B?