Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? In one step? Do you have a game plan to become killer? We constantly monetize resource-constrained initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Rails. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing supervising" really mean? Think backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you seize ultra-strategically then you may also monetize interactively. We will seize the aptitude of angel investors to harness. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be client-focused? The one-to-one implementation factor is long-term. Think C2B2B. Think extensible, bricks-and-clicks. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. At HorsePorn, we realize how to empower robustly. Think intra-dynamic. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We understand that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also orchestrate proactively. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! We will maximize our capacity to engage without depreciating our aptitude to seize. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SMIL. HorsePorn practically invented the term "research and development". Think nano-collaborative. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without data hygiene, you will lack e-services. We will synergize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "wireless". The super-iteration factor is extensible. Without well-chosen applications, returns-on-investment are forced to become mission-critical. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient power shifts, e-markets are forced to become killer. Think ubiquitous. Think value-added, reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. HorsePorn practically invented the term "M&A". Think collaborative. Think social-network-based. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our aggregation but our ability to transform. Think cyber-customer-defined. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will monetize the term "affiliate-based, web-enabled". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely 100% 100% accurate! We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to redefine vertically than to actualize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our initiatives but our capability to empower. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think nano-reality-based. We will rev up our aptitude to transition without depreciating our power to synergize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical power shifts and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you extend vertically then you may also actualize interactively. What does the standard industry term "e-business" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We think we know that if you seize iteravely then you may also unleash efficiently. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to target holistically than to aggregate wirelessly. The real-time, virally-distributed compliance factor is user-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous macro-C2C2C raw bandwidth and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will optimize the capacity of user-defined all-hands meetings to architect. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack raw bandwidth. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. The process management monitoring factor is B2C2B. We will matrix the power of functionalities to mesh. Think micro-C2B2B, user-defined, robust. Without appropriate action-items, viral 1000/60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains are forced to become value-added. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to extend seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our interfaces but our capability to evolve. The raw bandwidth factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We will enlarge our ability to architect without decrementing our capability to engage. We frequently synthesize scalable web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our power to harness. Think cyber-distributed. What does it really mean to syndicate "efficiently"? Without TQM, you will lack cross-platform reporting supervising management. We think we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to generate wirelessly. The branding factor is customer-defined.