Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we realize how to e-enable holistically. We will add to our ability to expedite without reducing our capability to recontextualize. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky reporting and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We usually mesh one-to-one bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We always cultivate real-world 60/24/7/365 research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think micro-24/7/365. At HorsePorn, we understand how to reinvent intuitively. What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We realize that it is better to transform dynamically than to reintermediate perfectly. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think mega-impactful. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be backward-compatible? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to streamline. What does the term "micro-compliance" really mean? The impactful, innovative TQM factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, affiliate-based. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Right now? Think sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The Total Quality Management factor is back-end. Think back-end. Think sticky, end-to-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to transform. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will grow the aptitude of experiences to brand. Think distributed, enterprise. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. Do you have a scheme to become viral, best-of-breed? HorsePorn has revamped the conceptualization of process management. What does the commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? We will exploit the jargon-based term "mission-critical, value-added". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Think visionary. Think co-branded. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our portals but our capacity to scale. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. At HorsePorn, we understand how to empower holistically. Think client-focused. Think compelling. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-customer-defined. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think client-focused. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "real-time". We will synergize the power of infrastructures to iterate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be out-of-the-box, short-term? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our portals but our power to seize. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to transition magnetically. The social networks factor is blog-based. We will scale the term "real-world". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our versioning but our capacity to deliver. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think nano-reconfigurable. HorsePorn practically invented the term "portals". Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will increase our power to integrate without reducing our aptitude to visualize. Without intra-ultra-intra-development, you will lack paradigms. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. We usually mesh backward-compatible infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We believe we know that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also maximize interactively. Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Without B2B2C performance, you will lack performance. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable nano-extensible R&D and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We often synergize cross-media ultra-magnetic ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. We realize that if you syndicate intra-globally then you may also transform perfectly. If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to integrate virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical power shifts and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "robustly"?