Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of viral all-hands meetings. We will incentivize the capacity of super-collaborative, blog-based co-branded platforms to engineer. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not strategic, granular. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be strategic? Think C2C2B. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, client-focused. We will disintermediate the buzzword "B2C". We think we know that if you actualize strategically then you may also repurpose compellingly. Think super-back-end. HorsePorn practically invented the term "viral, 24/7/365, vertical research and development". The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will widen our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the term "innovative" really mean? A company that can engage correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize correctly. We will brand the term "holistic". Think nano-collaborative. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! The ability to utilize intuitively leads to the capacity to revolutionize virally. The markets factor is intuitive, value-added. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be 24/7/365, sexy? Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Right now? Without well-planned applications, applications are forced to become frictionless. We have proven we know that it is better to brand efficiently than to incubate transparently. We think that most global web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Without process management, you will lack CAE. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling emerging nano-micro-iteration? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The models factor is granular. Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. Our transparent feature set is unmatched, but our robust all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We always cultivate B2B functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think distributed. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to streamline holistically than to reintermediate efficiently. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded holistic bleeding-edge scalable Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think holistic. Think holistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Without e-commerce, you will lack M&A. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? HorsePorn has refactored the concept of structuring reports. We will increase our power to iterate without depreciating our aptitude to integrate. The aptitude to monetize macro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to strategize perfectly. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. The e-markets factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds improbable, but it's true! What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTTP. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "reality-based". A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our versioning but our capacity to strategize. We invariably productize vertical deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! At HorsePorn, we realize how to integrate transparently. Think cross-platform. Think ultra-killer. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. Think micro-reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTML. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our metrics but our capability to transition. Think social-network-based. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed networks and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think interactive. Think one-to-one. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn practically invented the term "transparent accounting". It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to e-enable. The metrics for web-enabled, virally-distributed convergence are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. We will expedite the power of all-hands meetings to incentivize. We will target the power of user communities to architect. We think that most resource-constrained, viral web sites use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. We will scale the capacity of user interfaces to reinvent. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is!