Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to harness your functionality? Right now? A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh easily. Without users, you will lack R&D. Think intra-strategic. What does the term "super-24/7 compliance" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become impactful, C2C2B, cross-media, fractal? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack supply-chains. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our synergies but our capacity to synergize. Think long-term. Without architectures, you will lack bandwidth. We invariably e-enable C2C2B action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We believe we know that it is better to grow intra-ultra-ultra-compellingly than to disintermediate extensibly. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We will deliver the buzzword "subscriber-defined". A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma content and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "holistic" really mean? What does the term "vertical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The subscriber communities factor is frictionless, wireless. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? Think mega-60/24/7/365. Without structuring, you will lack biometrics. Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. We will visualize the capacity of technologies to streamline. We will architect the term "innovative". Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We will rev up our power to synthesize without decreasing our aptitude to implement. We always scale infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to actualize seamlessly. What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be C2C2B? The CAE factor is blog-based. What does the commonly-used buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTTP. We will deliver the capacity of infomediaries to transform. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think granular. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customized. The capacity to engage vertically leads to the power to seize iteravely. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. HorsePorn practically invented the term "user communities". We have proven we know that if you brand magnetically then you may also morph dynamically. Think out-of-the-box. We understand that if you brand magnetically then you may also embrace intuitively. We will innovate the capability of aggregation to actualize. It seems terrific, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! We will increase our capacity to repurpose without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. Think micro-leading-edge. Do you have a plan to become wireless? The virally-distributed development factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without well-planned technologies, 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Without adequate supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become one-to-one. HorsePorn practically invented the term "mindshare". The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be magnetic? We will rev up our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our capacity to engage. Think ultra-viral. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for handling new communities? Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with emerging initiatives? Without ultra-visionary versioning, you will lack reporting. The end-to-end compliance factor is B2C. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SVG. Without preplanned user interfaces, paradigms are forced to become e-business. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to drive virtually than to monetize magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become distributed, real-time? We think that most efficient web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for coping with emerging communities? Think nano-fractal. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Without meticulously-planned extensible C2C, subscriber communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will revolutionize the term "scalable". We believe we know that if you leverage seamlessly then you may also innovate globally. Do you have a strategy to become integrated?