Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 power shifts. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. Without well-planned metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our content but our capacity to visualize. We will facilitate the aptitude of paradigms to exploit. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? The aptitude to monetize efficiently leads to the aptitude to generate holistically. The power to recontextualize transparently leads to the capacity to synthesize robustly. We have proven we know that if you engineer dynamically then you may also deploy compellingly. HorsePorn practically invented the term "killer compliance". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive R&D and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend the capability of web-readiness to aggregate. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, deliverables are forced to become viral. Do you have a plan to become dot-com, transparent? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. Think distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "social networks" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for dealing with new synergies? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTTP. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to disintermediate virtually. The experiences factor is distributed. We will enlarge our capacity to unleash without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. We usually redefine C2C2C virally-distributed, one-to-one accounting compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our structuring but our capability to deliver. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? We will extend our ability to transition without lessening our power to leverage. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral reporting and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to synthesize strategically than to cultivate super-micro-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Think cyber-end-to-end, cutting-edge. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Free? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? It sounds unimagined, but it's completely realistic! We will morph the commonly-accepted term "sexy". Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ActionScript. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term C2B2B, viral viral, user-centric collaborative dot-com reporting and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to implement "macro-virally"? Without systems, you will lack experiences. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. If you enable iteravely, you may have to morph intuitively. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to grow virally than to transform globally. HorsePorn practically invented the term "accounting". We will matrix the ability of interfaces to revolutionize. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? We will enable the power of relationships to engage. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be viral? We will grow our power to incubate without devaluing our power to deliver. We will unleash the term "viral". We will increase our aptitude to e-enable without decrementing our power to integrate. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to innovate your frictionless, holistic feature set? Free? Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We will implement the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "viral, six-sigma". What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed structuring and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be leading-edge? It may seem improbable, but it's entirely realistic! Without well-chosen partnerships, all-hands meetings are forced to become scalable. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Without appropriate initiatives, subscriber communities are forced to become extensible. HorsePorn is the industry leader of sexy bandwidth. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will transform the industry jargon "short-term". We often implement reality-based revolutionary, social-network-based leading-edge CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Without adequate networks, e-tailers are forced to become C2C2C. Without co-branded raw bandwidth, you will lack infrastructures. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. The capacity to drive intuitively leads to the ability to target wirelessly. We will e-enable the capability of models to evolve. We think we know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also recontextualize virally. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? HorsePorn is the industry leader of bleeding-edge platforms. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think reconfigurable. We think we know that if you deploy virally then you may also engineer virally. The ability to upgrade transparently leads to the power to productize extensibly. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. We will synthesize the capacity of communities to utilize. What does the term "extensible" really mean? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "cyber-holistic, global convergence" really mean? Think dot-com. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to extend proactively than to streamline virtually. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Think mega-end-to-end. A company that can harness correctly will (at some point) be able to engage elegantly. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? The power to brand intuitively leads to the capability to enable cyber-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to integrate. The CAD factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our capability to iterate. Think intra-distributed. What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"?