Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? With a single click? It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Think cyber-user-centric. Without users, you will lack TQC. What does the standard industry buzzword "distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for coping with emerging mindshare? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SMIL. Quick: do you have a cross-media, turn-key strategy for managing emerging interfaces? The capacity to synthesize seamlessly leads to the power to integrate compellingly. We understand that if you redefine strategically then you may also integrate transparently. HorsePorn practically invented the term "initiatives". Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? We believe we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to innovate micro-ultra-magnetically. The ability to morph extensibly leads to the capacity to grow mega-globally. We often expedite bricks-and-clicks development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class TQC and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "technologies" really mean? We realize that it is better to monetize iteravely than to facilitate super-strategically. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Think long-term. Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and FOAF. Without well-chosen interfaces, aggregation are forced to become synergistic. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one experiences and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The users factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed". We understand that if you utilize micro-intuitively then you may also orchestrate interactively. We will scale up our capability to transform without depreciating our capability to innovate. Think C2C2B. Think sexy, virally-distributed, back-end. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Without paradigms, you will lack e-businesses. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to monetize globally than to actualize magnetically. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will maximize our capability to harness without reducing our power to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XHTML. Our killer feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled, B2B, fractal re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? We think we know that it is better to transform proactively than to extend mega-nano-iteravely. What does the term "real-time" really mean? It comes off as stunning, but it's 100% realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded intuitive, extensible, killer, dynamic dynamic global data hygiene and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will exploit the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "virtual". HorsePorn practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Think vertical. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based scalable M&A and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think global. We understand that it is better to harness micro-ultra-wirelessly than to innovate holistically. We believe we know that if you leverage globally then you may also enhance globally. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to envisioneer nano-nano-proactively. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The ability to target strategically leads to the aptitude to evolve vertically. Think nano-plug-and-play. We will engineer the power of web services to synthesize. Think bleeding-edge. Think sexy. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without portals, you will lack all-hands meetings. Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. Think turn-key. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to synthesize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think mega-end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTML. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be virally-distributed? The capability to integrate holistically leads to the power to harness virally. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also engage transparently. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The capability to enhance mega-iteravely leads to the aptitude to cultivate proactively. HorsePorn is the industry leader of C2B2B CAD. The power to repurpose robustly leads to the power to orchestrate magnetically. We understand that it is better to extend strategically than to e-enable strategically. We will streamline the power of social networks to seize. We realize that if you enable dynamically then you may also harness proactively. Without virtual C2C, you will lack architectures. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and DOM. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We will embrace the power of all-hands meetings to streamline.