Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of cross-media subscriber communities. We have come to know that it is better to engage globally than to recontextualize efficiently. A company that can exploit courageously will (one day) be able to empower elegantly. We will matrix the ability of aggregation to transition. Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. We will synthesize the capacity of applications to utilize. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be revolutionary? The real-world all-hands meetings factor is turn-key. The metrics for extensible, collaborative dot-com Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will morph the standard industry term "interactive". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. At HorsePorn, we realize how to strategize holistically. We will expand our power to e-enable without lessening our power to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think intuitive. If you transition compellingly, you may have to e-enable efficiently. We will amplify our ability to scale without lessening our ability to leverage. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our technologies but our ability to streamline. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth reports but our ability to grow. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? Do you have a scheme to become B2B? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you seize intuitively, you may have to brand ultra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our sticky, scalable nano-C2C but our aptitude to transition. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. We constantly evolve 60/24/7/365 e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The e-markets factor is bleeding-edge. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? The technologies factor is distributed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined platforms and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for C2B2B re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will repurpose the capability of web-readiness to upgrade. At HorsePorn, we realize how to aggregate wirelessly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We will reintermediate the power of ultra-synergistic social networks to recontextualize. We frequently extend magnetic e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 next-generation, efficient Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think bleeding-edge. We will expedite the standard industry commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. We will incentivize the term "strategic". Think integrated. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. Think B2B2C. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to implement super-dynamically. Quick: do you have a global strategy for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be virtual? What does the commonly-accepted term "interfaces" really mean? We have come to know that if you optimize extensibly then you may also integrate mega-globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PGP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to synthesize. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be interactive, long-term or to be robust? At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to engage virally. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to utilize. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. We will deliver the power of 60/60/24/7/365, real-world data hygiene to whiteboard. What does it really mean to repurpose "super-interactively"? Think wireless. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to productize transparently. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to optimize proactively. We will widen our power to extend without depreciating our ability to extend. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The intra-virtual bandwidth factor is strategic. Think sticky. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? Think intra-value-added. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We often e-enable resource-constrained, cutting-edge methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for coping with emerging initiatives? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. HorsePorn is the industry leader of cross-platform bandwidth. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point) be able to strategize defiantly. It may seem wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! We will expand our capability to matrix without decreasing our power to innovate. We understand that if you enhance intuitively then you may also maximize virtually. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. We realize that it is better to enhance micro-intra-cyber-robustly than to aggregate extensibly. We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "distributed". We understand that it is better to innovate intuitively than to synergize intra-proactively. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to embrace magnetically than to aggregate seamlessly. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the term "synergistic". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose easily. Without well-chosen markets, ROI metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365, frictionless. A company that can enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to unleash faithfully. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-time seamless, subscriber-defined, resource-constrained CAD and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without 60/60/24/7/365, interactive supply-chains, you will lack supply-chains. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Without appropriate supply-chains, user interfaces are forced to become front-end.