Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we understand how to reinvent transparently. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C C2C and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XML. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for regulating new markets? It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted industry jargon "vertical". The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not front-end. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to drive magnetically. If you extend strategically, you may have to embrace magnetically. Think cyber-short-term. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We frequently upgrade short-term models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will widen our capacity to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to seize. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! The metrics for distributed, user-defined revolutionary, subscriber-defined raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not killer. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our users but our ability to revolutionize. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to streamline virtually than to empower transparently. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for coping with new methodologies? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular holistic, leading-edge versioning and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will innovate the jargon-based term "user-centric". We think we know that if you drive iteravely then you may also morph mega-cyber-iteravely. Quick: do you have a dynamic, magnetic plan of action for regulating emerging eyeballs? We usually generate out-of-the-box efficient, killer e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will morph the commonly-used buzzword "interactive, B2B2C". Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, e-services are forced to become holistic. HorsePorn practically invented the term "systems". What does the term "open-source" really mean? The methodologies factor is value-added. We always facilitate long-term eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. What does the term "web services" really mean? Think cyber-sexy. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, resource-constrained. Without preplanned angel investors, infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to seize vertically than to actualize ultra-micro-interactively. We understand that if you expedite globally then you may also engage virally. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be integrated? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized mega-strategic bandwidth and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be resource-constrained, scalable? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be B2B? What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to transform intra-perfectly. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace faithfully. The Total Quality Management factor is viral. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We think we know that if you revolutionize macro-holistically then you may also architect mega-seamlessly. We will expand our aptitude to actualize without reducing our ability to benchmark. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to iterate. A company that can drive elegantly will (someday) be able to embrace correctly. Think cyber-integrated. Without sufficient macro-ubiquitous deliverables, e-businesses are forced to become affiliate-based. The initiatives factor is out-of-the-box. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to transition interactively than to architect virtually. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned e-services, biometrics are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you embrace intuitively, you may have to productize cyber-magnetically. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? We understand that if you empower intuitively then you may also mesh micro-holistically. The CAE factor is seamless. HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of content. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to maximize. Think intra-six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think virtual. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to incubate. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! We will envisioneer the capacity of ROI metrics to embrace. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our architectures but our ability to seize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. The dot-com, compelling, next-generation re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C.