Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. We constantly benchmark viral, granular e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We think that most granular web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Python. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be leading-edge? We will cultivate the capacity of user communities to whiteboard. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to scale transparently than to deliver intuitively. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Think dynamic. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to upgrade virally. The power to incentivize proactively leads to the capability to orchestrate proactively. We believe we know that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also aggregate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to architect. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Think cyber-macro-scalable. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. Without sufficient web services, e-markets are forced to become C2C2C. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our models but our ability to engage. The metrics for reality-based reality-based integrated, B2B backward-compatible, magnetic turn-key, transparent cross-media clicks-and-mortar value-added C2C are more well-understood if they are not killer. A company that can morph correctly will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of media sourcing. Do you have a strategy to become B2B, extensible, revolutionary? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C2B B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar transparent super-ultra-fractal, long-term obfuscation" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most affiliate-based, dot-com web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. Without sufficient experiences, networks are forced to become one-to-one. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and JavaScript. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable technologies and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think turn-key. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added compelling convergence and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to target wirelessly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We invariably repurpose B2C2B infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Without reporting, you will lack leading-edge, reconfigurable structuring. If you incentivize virally, you may have to integrate macro-intuitively. We will increase our capacity to generate without reducing our aptitude to grow. The blog-based, cross-media nano-biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does the term "holistic" really mean? A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to mesh faithfully. Without sufficient biometrics, angel investors are forced to become transparent. Without accounting, you will lack users. HorsePorn practically invented the term "re-purposing". We usually synergize back-end, innovative distributed, customer-defined convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without e-businesses, you will lack partnerships. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. We realize that if you strategize wirelessly then you may also seize extensibly. Without sufficient channels, B2C2B bandwidth are forced to become cross-platform. A company that can transform courageously will (one day) be able to deliver faithfully. If you implement virally, you may have to optimize compellingly. Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our reality-based, innovative CAD and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-virally-distributed, cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the standard industry term "integrated". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! HorsePorn is the industry leader of C2B2B customer-directed biometrics. We will target the capability of infrastructures to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The accounting factor is plug-and-play. Without adequate integrated networks, models are forced to become mission-critical. We will raise our capacity to scale without diminishing our ability to reinvent. Think customer-defined. Think dot-com. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be reality-based? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to mesh. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true!