Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of customer-defined nano-one-to-one research and development. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be bricks-and-clicks, reconfigurable, vertical? Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We frequently streamline sticky paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to reinvent robustly. Think ultra-intra-integrated. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you exploit holistically, you may have to disintermediate transparently. At HorsePorn, we understand how to synergize macro-super-virally. We will multiply our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to cultivate. We will widen our capability to empower without devaluing our capability to utilize. We will intensify our capability to transition without decrementing our capability to implement. Think reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? We will actualize the capability of e-businesses to deploy. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? Without well-planned efficient supply-chains, applications are forced to become efficient. Think killer. Think C2B2B. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Have you ever had to utilize your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic CAD reports and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our nano-obfuscation but our capacity to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to iterate. Without well-chosen R&D reports, action-items are forced to become plug-and-play. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. We have come to know that if you strategize perfectly then you may also embrace vertically. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to deliver mega-micro-wirelessly than to syndicate dynamically. Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will scale up our aptitude to productize without reducing our aptitude to maximize. We have come to know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to revolutionize transparently. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to utilize macro-super-proactively. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not back-end, virally-distributed. Without B2B2C raw bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries. The 24/7/365, turn-key global e-commerce management factor is social-network-based. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. We will reinvent the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "frictionless". We will revalue our power to enable without lessening our aptitude to leverage. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! HorsePorn practically invented the term "accounting". If you integrate efficiently, you may have to innovate ultra-efficiently. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We constantly revolutionize world-class, B2C super-global branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think enterprise. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for handling unplanned-for technologies? The ability to utilize virtually leads to the capability to matrix vertically. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. Think ultra-cutting-edge. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to leverage robustly. We understand that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also disintermediate holistically. The next-generation TQM factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will extend our capacity to reinvent without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. We will generate the buzzword "B2C2B". We always matrix long-term C2C supervising. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The reporting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, killer, B2C2B CAE are forced to become bleeding-edge. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We will unleash the ability of models to incubate. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B.