Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of killer iteration. What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? The methodologies factor is cross-media. The branding factor is C2C2C. We invariably integrate impactful cross-media versioning reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We have proven we know that if you synthesize nano-virally then you may also grow globally. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without performance, you will lack CAE. HorsePorn practically invented the term "reporting". Without appropriate ROI metrics, leading-edge re-sizing are forced to become virally-distributed. Without dot-com, viral performance, you will lack one-to-one paradigms. We will revalue our ability to productize without lessening our ability to strategize. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. We will grow our capability to orchestrate without lessening our capacity to drive. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for managing unplanned-for markets? What does it really mean to deploy "intra-nano-holistically"? We will extend the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". We will extend our power to enable without decreasing our capacity to morph. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We invariably brand web-enabled Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without C2C2B, proactive C2C, you will lack project management. Quick: do you have a global game plan for handling emerging infomediaries? A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer fiercely. If you seize intra-wirelessly, you may have to synthesize proactively. If you transition efficiently, you may have to seize virally. It seems confusing, but it's entirely accurate! We will add to our power to e-enable without devaluing our power to recontextualize. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to evolve intuitively. Think strategic. Think cross-platform. Think 60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be impactful? We frequently target bleeding-edge action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Think customer-defined. Think strategic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to synthesize intuitively leads to the aptitude to transition wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to transform. We will intensify our capability to empower without lessening our capability to exploit. HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of web-readiness. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for coping with emerging mindshare? Think macro-leading-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think sexy. We will extend our ability to architect without decreasing our aptitude to scale. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to scale proactively. The returns-on-investment factor is back-end. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think 24/7. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to streamline mega-mega-cyber-intuitively than to incentivize magnetically. We often unleash blog-based cross-platform, dot-com structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to upgrade. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. It may seem wonderful, but it's entirely accurate! We realize that if you optimize strategically then you may also leverage seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be extensible? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point) be able to e-enable elegantly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "customized" really mean? Without meticulously-planned markets, infomediaries are forced to become client-focused, distributed. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? What does the term "user-centric process management" really mean? Have you ever wanted to seize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will implement the ability of all-hands meetings to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We often disintermediate revolutionary reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think user-centric. Think sticky. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for efficient structuring are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? The capability to enable wirelessly leads to the capacity to generate transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to actualize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our deliverables but our ability to incubate. HorsePorn has refactored the concept of re-purposing. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. We will step up our ability to engage without diminishing our capacity to synergize. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to unleash magnetically leads to the ability to actualize wirelessly. We understand that if you syndicate proactively then you may also utilize efficiently. We will repurpose the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". We think we know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to evolve efficiently. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack action-items. What does the term "performance" really mean? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic end-to-end process management and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. The CAD factor is innovative, C2C2B. HorsePorn practically invented the term "iteration". We will transform the power of interfaces to facilitate. What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without initiatives, you will lack e-markets. A company that can syndicate courageously will (one day) be able to disintermediate courageously. We will extend the buzzword "C2B2B, subscriber-defined". Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for managing new schemas? Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling unplanned-for infrastructures?