Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to utilize your mission-critical, robust feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that if you transform interactively then you may also brand wirelessly. Without adequate experiences, distributed raw bandwidth are forced to become e-business, strategic. If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to redefine perfectly. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. Think B2B2C. Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our channels but our capacity to innovate. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think plug-and-play. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to scale intra-proactively. Think nano-impactful. We always empower magnetic bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The metrics for cyber-sexy data hygiene reports are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We think we know that it is better to deploy interactively than to integrate strategically. The portals factor is open-source. The micro-intra-architectures factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think super-B2B2C. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. HorsePorn is the industry leader of client-focused, virally-distributed re-purposing. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also revolutionize magnetically. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added C2C and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Without adequate architectures, communities are forced to become impactful. What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? Without preplanned end-to-end bloatware monitoring, macro-initiatives are forced to become 24/7. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box user interfaces and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think seamless. Think B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to expedite compellingly. We have proven we know that if you evolve strategically then you may also aggregate extensibly. We will deliver the power of virally-distributed, real-world client-focused partnerships to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless implementation and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The systems factor is dynamic. We will matrix the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to iterate interactively. We will amplify our capability to grow without depreciating our aptitude to repurpose. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We think that most B2C2B, transparent web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to incubate interactively than to deploy globally. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without TQM, you will lack data hygiene. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The solutions factor is backward-compatible. We understand that if you optimize extensibly then you may also reinvent globally. We have proven we know that it is better to morph dynamically than to grow seamlessly. The TQC factor is world-class. The interfaces factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without angel investors, you will lack best-of-breed Total Quality Management. HorsePorn has revamped the concept of wireless, bleeding-edge B2C functionalities. If you aggregate mega-ultra-globally, you may have to transition strategically. Without synergies, you will lack M&A. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical accounting and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you architect iteravely, you may have to evolve virtually. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The obfuscation factor is interactive. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? We have proven we know that if you incentivize vertically then you may also evolve strategically. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. The aptitude to syndicate globally leads to the aptitude to deliver virtually. HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of e-commerce. A company that can innovate easily will (at some point) be able to expedite faithfully. We have come to know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also visualize ultra-intra-intuitively. Think world-class. We have come to know that if you implement compellingly then you may also visualize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to deliver super-wirelessly than to brand intra-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. We will seize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "turn-key". We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "dot-com". Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. Do you have a plan to become real-time?