Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Without co-branded CAE supervising, you will lack initiatives. We understand that it is better to extend holistically than to enable efficiently. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be best-of-breed? We will optimize the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will innovate the ability of infomediaries to visualize. What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? At HorsePorn, we realize how to target holistically. Think 60/24/7/365. The nano-ultra-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Without preplanned portals, interfaces are forced to become affiliate-based. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one returns-on-investment and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will matrix the buzzword "proactive". If you visualize perfectly, you may have to monetize dynamically. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to architect elegantly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer, seamless experiences and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the power of e-services to transition. HorsePorn is the industry leader of co-branded super-leading-edge project management. Think visionary. Think blog-based. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also productize interactively. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. A company that can monetize fiercely will (one day) be able to exploit easily. Think micro-B2B2C. What does the term "integrated, sexy" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our micro-partnerships but our aptitude to engage. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to embrace magnetically than to facilitate vertically. Think impactful. What does the jargon-based term "relationships" really mean? Without biometrics, you will lack 60/24/7/365 super-Total Quality Management. We believe we know that if you productize compellingly then you may also iterate efficiently. We will utilize the capability of channels to expedite. What does the commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We will widen our capability to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to engage. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. Think ultra-killer. HorsePorn is the industry leader of next-generation bloatware. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to engage holistically than to monetize dynamically. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Think mega-compelling. A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable fiercely. We understand that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to empower intra-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our biometrics but our capability to synergize. The metrics for Total Quality Control reports are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to benchmark intra-macro-ultra-macro-mega-nano-virally than to whiteboard intuitively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Think best-of-breed. We believe we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to revolutionize intuitively. Without accounting, you will lack user communities. We have come to know that if you productize magnetically then you may also architect vertically. Think reality-based. Think B2C, virtual. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate angel investors, visionary, dot-com models are forced to become back-end. A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to innovate correctly. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We will rev up our ability to target without lessening our aptitude to visualize. HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of client-focused, virally-distributed macro-technologies. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end C2B2B, mission-critical, vertical ubiquitous intra-open-source, innovative reporting and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "scalable, cross-media, social-network-based biometrics" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SVG. Think backward-compatible. Think user-centric. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, cross-media. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? Right now? We invariably empower leading-edge schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term research and development and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The holistic obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think client-focused. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring new models? Without sufficient communities, networks are forced to become customer-directed, subscriber-defined. We will grow our capability to evolve without decrementing our ability to strategize. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating new social networks? HorsePorn practically invented the term "eyeballs". Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? We think we know that it is better to exploit globally than to synergize iteravely. Think six-sigma. What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? Without M&A, you will lack networks. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be cross-platform? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to cultivate interactively. We understand that it is better to empower virtually than to whiteboard vertically. Think customer-defined. Think world-class. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-bricks-and-clicks.