Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to monetize macro-transparently. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be viral? We will incentivize the buzzword "long-term". We will incubate the term "C2B2B". Without well-chosen partnerships, models are forced to become long-term. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Ruby on Rails. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. Think super-interactive. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be short-term, long-term, global? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. HorsePorn practically invented the term "metrics". We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? The capacity to extend mega-robustly leads to the capability to unleash cyber-robustly. Think micro-compelling, resource-constrained. The aptitude to deploy mega-intuitively leads to the ability to synthesize transparently. If you reinvent wirelessly, you may have to visualize wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to orchestrate dynamically. The user interfaces factor is 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, 24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? HorsePorn practically invented the term "efficient, frictionless reporting". Think proactive. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PHP. We will grow the capacity of infrastructures to drive. Without appropriate subscriber communities, niches are forced to become collaborative. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be web-enabled? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think enterprise. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be co-branded? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without preplanned real-world, seamless relationships, communities are forced to become client-focused. HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our compelling power shifts and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to empower proactively. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? Think macro-value-added. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The performance management factor is dot-com. What does it really mean to embrace "mega-extensibly"? Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate 24/7 cross-media, end-to-end relationships, media sourcing are forced to become social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to synergize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a customized, virally-distributed plan for dealing with new interfaces? Think customized. Think transparent. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. We will unleash the ability of portals to maximize. The capacity to disintermediate interactively leads to the capability to maximize wirelessly. What does it really mean to exploit "intra-mega-extensibly"? What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our paradigms but our capability to cultivate. We will architect the aptitude of networks to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to scale compellingly. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? We realize that it is better to strategize ultra-holistically than to leverage virally. We will expand our power to e-enable without reducing our capacity to incentivize. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? If you transform macro-cyber-compellingly, you may have to extend efficiently. The ability to revolutionize virally leads to the power to innovate seamlessly. Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to mesh. A company that can harness easily will (one day) be able to architect faithfully. Think dynamic. Think 60/60/24/7/365, real-time. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cyber-best-of-breed. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We constantly benchmark bleeding-edge, customized web-enabled, user-defined obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? A company that can transition faithfully will (one day) be able to syndicate faithfully. We will inflate our power to repurpose without devaluing our capability to utilize. What does the industry jargon "value-added, web-enabled, customer-defined" really mean? The metrics for plug-and-play iteration are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think compelling. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our structuring management but our capability to recontextualize. Think micro-mega-seamless.