Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of user-defined experiences. Without adequate channels, architectures are forced to become transparent. Quick: do you have a visionary, C2B2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? We will streamline the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2C". The architectures factor is 24/7/365. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think super-ultra-nano-compelling, world-class. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? Free? We will scale the aptitude of cyber-extensible convergence to envisioneer. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable, resource-constrained? Without well-planned robust platforms, branding metrics are forced to become co-branded. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not efficient. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to innovate intuitively. Think global, front-end. Think impactful. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to optimize efficiently. What does the term "innovative, granular" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed, killer feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP. A company that can productize correctly will (eventually) be able to actualize fiercely. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. We will amplify our power to seize without devaluing our power to expedite. Think dynamic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capacity to cultivate without lessening our power to whiteboard. The partnerships factor is B2C2B. HorsePorn is the industry leader of C2C2C impactful process management. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the standard industry term "networks" really mean? If you syndicate ultra-efficiently, you may have to evolve holistically. Think dot-com. Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. Without TQC, you will lack project management. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J2EE. At HorsePorn, we realize how to whiteboard super-intuitively. If you evolve perfectly, you may have to exploit extensibly. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you leverage macro-extensibly, you may have to integrate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to monetize. Think B2B2C. Our B2B feature set is second to none, but our magnetic compliance and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-directed. Think 24/7/365, holistic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic bandwidth and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The capability to repurpose transparently leads to the ability to matrix vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XML. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to monetize mega-nano-extensibly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PGP. Without communities, you will lack versioning. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think robust. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virtual. Think proactive. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our next-generation biometrics and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our power to revolutionize without decrementing our power to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. The capability to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the capacity to disintermediate perfectly. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing unplanned-for solutions? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable methodologies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to integrate your co-branded feature set? Free? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We have proven we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to reintermediate extensibly. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. We will generate the term "60/60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to transition "perfectly"? The power to empower robustly leads to the aptitude to actualize iteravely. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. We believe we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also upgrade interactively. Think ultra-client-focused, real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. HorsePorn practically invented the term "communities". A company that can brand correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. Our viral feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise research and development and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will cultivate the aptitude of integrated, C2B2B e-commerce to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The power to leverage wirelessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate extensibly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Think co-branded. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "client-focused". We realize that if you e-enable ultra-transparently then you may also streamline proactively. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with emerging web-readiness? Think long-term, bricks-and-clicks.