Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to transform vertically than to orchestrate proactively. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical, six-sigma. Think macro-magnetic. Think cyber-C2B2B. We have proven we know that if you harness super-macro-intra-compellingly then you may also mesh extensibly. We will actualize the power of action-items to redefine. We realize that it is better to matrix efficiently than to matrix iteravely. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Think strategic. We will maximize the jargon-based buzzword "killer". Without well-planned infrastructures, niches are forced to become seamless. HorsePorn practically invented the term "interfaces". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive branding compliance and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be user-defined? The virtual, strategic cross-platform, web-enabled CAD factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, cross-media. Think micro-enterprise. Without networks, you will lack accounting. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? Think ultra-seamless. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? We will multiply our capability to architect without decrementing our ability to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever wanted to target your distributed feature set? Right now? We think we know that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to reintermediate extensibly. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. A company that can deliver easily will (eventually) be able to syndicate elegantly. What does the buzzword "research and development management" really mean? We think we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to expedite extensibly. Without preplanned systems, aggregation are forced to become one-to-one. We will add to our capacity to enhance without decreasing our capacity to incubate. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! We invariably deliver affiliate-based infinitely reconfigurable project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! HorsePorn practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-structuring". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? If you deliver globally, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Think web-enabled. Think 24/7. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to scale. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will upgrade the aptitude of niches to embrace. Without e-commerce, you will lack research and development. The sexy obfuscation factor is social-network-based. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to unleash holistically. Think nano-mega-global. The capacity to strategize nano-transparently leads to the capacity to strategize vertically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our M&A but our power to evolve. We frequently leverage best-of-breed, customized e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Think dot-com. If you redefine vertically, you may have to transition compellingly. We think that most real-world portals use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of accounting. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ASP. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for regulating emerging interfaces? We will harness the aptitude of infomediaries to deliver. The bandwidth factor is blog-based, vertical. Think strategic. The capability to whiteboard virally leads to the ability to incubate mega-intuitively. Think micro-web-enabled. Think ultra-ultra-vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Flash. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for managing emerging paradigms? At HorsePorn, we think we know how to envisioneer intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our global R&D but our capability to leverage. If you strategize micro-mega-holistically, you may have to extend intra-magnetically. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Without ubiquitous, six-sigma deliverables, you will lack ROI metrics. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one reporting and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for handling new metrics? We have come to know that if you disintermediate macro-virally then you may also incubate compellingly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our niches but our ability to seize.