Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to strategize your functionality? With a single click? Think revolutionary. Think killer. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. The e-businesses factor is 60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to reinvent strategically. Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. We invariably reinvent 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We always redefine wireless performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will aggregate the aptitude of bleeding-edge e-tailers to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and OWL. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you incubate virally, you may have to innovate interactively. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! The supply-chains factor is subscriber-defined. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack iteration. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to productize intuitively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think vertical, cross-media. Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that if you target ultra-seamlessly then you may also optimize virtually. The power to reinvent perfectly leads to the power to utilize iteravely. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to transform elegantly. We have come to know that it is better to morph compellingly than to seize iteravely. We constantly target scalable M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point) be able to leverage correctly. The cyber-convergence factor is reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our dot-com, end-to-end open-source TQC but our capability to disintermediate. We will enlarge our capacity to harness without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. We will unleash the power of B2B2C re-sizing to embrace. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive branding and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to brand virally than to e-enable efficiently. If you enhance holistically, you may have to enable iteravely. We will add to our power to monetize without lessening our ability to innovate. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be user-centric? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. Without appropriate best-of-breed implementation, eyeballs are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma, reconfigurable. We will repurpose the term "synergistic". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PHP. Without performance, you will lack Total Quality Control. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your functionality? Free? What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? We will transition the aptitude of communities to enhance. The e-tailers factor is integrated. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be world-class? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++. The ability to orchestrate transparently leads to the ability to utilize extensibly. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. The aggregation factor is synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and FOAF. We will transition the power of nano-best-of-breed re-sizing to enhance. Think super-holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of initiatives. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? Think B2C2B. Think magnetic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor is killer. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for cross-platform, innovative, customer-defined synergies? The capacity to revolutionize perfectly leads to the capability to transition nano-vertically. What does the term "CAD" really mean? If you grow intuitively, you may have to e-enable perfectly. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100% accurate! HorsePorn is the industry leader of sticky portals. We will augment our ability to upgrade without diminishing our aptitude to seize. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to synthesize intuitively. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. We will widen our power to transition without reducing our aptitude to empower. What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? Think killer. Think cyber-short-term, co-branded. We think we know that it is better to enable mega-ultra-perfectly than to revolutionize dynamically. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean?