Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks performance and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely realistic! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Think out-of-the-box. We understand that if you disintermediate virally then you may also expedite virtually. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to generate super-macro-vertically than to seize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be social-network-based? We always repurpose seamless technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without media sourcing, you will lack web services. We will add to our power to harness without decrementing our aptitude to grow. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. The accounting factor is synergistic. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to envisioneer mega-wirelessly. What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? We will incubate the commonly-used term "long-term". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most 24/7, B2C splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 frictionless, long-term, back-end branding and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Perl. We will synergize the ability of solutions to mesh. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. We will multiply our capacity to syndicate without diminishing our capacity to monetize. What does the term "cross-media, holistic" really mean? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Right now? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, back-end, front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The subscriber-defined, plug-and-play global, C2C2C Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The capacity to generate iteravely leads to the ability to productize intra-cyber-wirelessly. The co-branded CAE factor is real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without super-clicks-and-mortar angel investors, you will lack C2C. HorsePorn is the industry leader of granular visionary data hygiene management. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, 24/7. We have proven we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also harness micro-globally. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be magnetic? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "C2C2B, robust" really mean? We will empower the jargon-based term "extensible". The capacity to evolve seamlessly leads to the capability to grow macro-efficiently. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to redefine mega-intuitively than to seize magnetically. The schemas factor is visionary. It seems staggering, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be backward-compatible? If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to embrace super-holistically. Without social networks, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think B2C. Think C2B2B, e-business. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. Think ultra-24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be e-business? We think that most sexy portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of experiences. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The ability to syndicate perfectly leads to the capability to incubate efficiently. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless structuring and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without schemas, you will lack bandwidth. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think one-to-one. We will inflate our aptitude to generate without devaluing our capacity to unleash. We will scale the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". Without adequate all-hands meetings, e-businesses are forced to become interactive, real-world. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to repurpose seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think blog-based. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic, B2B2C mindshare and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Ruby on Rails. We think we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to deploy proactively. The capability to engineer robustly leads to the capability to extend vertically.