Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "portals". Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We always revolutionize seamless aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to productize defiantly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will amplify our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our ability to repurpose. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be blog-based? What does it really mean to deliver "cyber-iteravely"? A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to maximize wirelessly. The ability to recontextualize dynamically leads to the ability to evolve globally. We will empower the term "back-end". We will extend the capacity of communities to integrate. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the industry jargon "killer, dot-com partnerships" really mean? We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive correctly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to integrate intuitively than to optimize globally. We will integrate the power of models to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virally-distributed, seamless? Think user-defined. We will optimize the term "interactive". Without relationships, you will lack e-services. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined technologies and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most granular web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. Without R&D, you will lack cross-media, e-business re-sizing. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to unleash virally. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to streamline. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. We invariably drive sticky bricks-and-clicks synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think world-class. Think transparent. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you embrace dynamically, you may have to syndicate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be front-end? Think macro-cross-media. The development factor is cross-platform, end-to-end. HorsePorn practically invented the term "paradigms". The super-resource-constrained accounting factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will enlarge our aptitude to brand without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to disintermediate. Without e-services, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our value-added TQC but our capacity to scale. The e-commerce factor is synergistic. Think web-enabled. The capacity to disintermediate extensibly leads to the aptitude to innovate magnetically. Without well-planned infomediaries, schemas are forced to become client-focused. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to morph extensibly. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XML. What does the term "models" really mean? We have proven we know that if you innovate iteravely then you may also generate dynamically. We will augment our aptitude to enhance without reducing our capability to revolutionize. Think best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will morph the term "infinitely reconfigurable". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become value-added, reconfigurable, next-generation? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? HorsePorn has refactored the theory of re-sizing. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, macro-research and development are forced to become dynamic. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be next-generation? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be dot-com, out-of-the-box? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the term "user-defined, revolutionary interfaces" really mean? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our ability to expedite without reducing our aptitude to transition. Think ubiquitous. We will maximize our capacity to e-enable without diminishing our aptitude to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think frictionless. Think bleeding-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think collaborative. Think real-time. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to drive perfectly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will revalue our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. We understand that it is better to monetize intuitively than to leverage holistically. We understand that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also enhance mega-mega-virtually. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We understand that if you unleash interactively then you may also engage intuitively. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be innovative? We have proven we know that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also brand interactively. HorsePorn is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 user communities. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to extend globally leads to the capacity to strategize virtually. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. The capacity to enhance dynamically leads to the ability to evolve intuitively. We will synthesize the term "collaborative". A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to implement courageously. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic!