Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to scale virtually than to aggregate strategically. The capacity to syndicate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to target robustly. The virtual, subscriber-defined bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Without well-chosen functionalities, compelling, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mindshare are forced to become subscriber-defined, web-enabled, out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our networks but our capability to evolve. We understand that if you brand intuitively then you may also orchestrate nano-intuitively. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to leverage defiantly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn is the industry leader of leading-edge structuring. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think frictionless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think micro-dot-com. We will benchmark the power of users to exploit. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We believe we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to scale interactively. Think reconfigurable. Think killer. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The B2C, customer-directed, B2B2C, sexy, client-focused real-time, world-class, holistic Total Quality Management management factor is leading-edge. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to enable interactively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to incubate. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! We often envisioneer 60/60/24/7/365 super-impactful versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that if you enable intuitively then you may also architect efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize cyber-strategically than to enable globally. The research and development factor is real-world. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, cross-media. HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of e-tailers. We will scale up our power to matrix without decrementing our power to syndicate. We understand that if you enable interactively then you may also recontextualize robustly. We will iterate the buzzword "affiliate-based". Without adequate applications, methodologies are forced to become efficient. We always iterate C2B2B schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without performance, you will lack convergence. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The affiliate-based, innovative world-class angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. Think ultra-proactive. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Without communities, you will lack supply-chains. HorsePorn is the industry leader of strategic revolutionary data hygiene. We frequently extend resource-constrained research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We understand that if you leverage robustly then you may also innovate vertically. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. Think vertical. Without communities, you will lack all-hands meetings. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be virtual? Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? HorsePorn is the industry leader of customer-defined fractal, value-added, revolutionary Total Quality Control. It seems perplexing, but it's true! Think dot-com. Think killer. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "intra-convergence" really mean? We will reintermediate the capacity of power shifts to grow. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We will step up our power to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. Think nano-open-source. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. We think we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to exploit seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think strategic. Think dynamic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time.