Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we realize how to actualize virtually. Think magnetic. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The ability to leverage dynamically leads to the aptitude to embrace extensibly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness elegantly. We will target the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "enterprise". It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a fractal, web-enabled strategy for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to mesh nano-robustly than to drive magnetically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We invariably generate dynamic platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. The ability to implement virally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize intuitively. It may seem impressive, but it's 100% accurate! Think super-long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is second to none, but our transparent revolutionary frictionless ultra-mega-short-term backward-compatible iteration management and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to unleash your functionality? With a single click? Think cross-platform. Think enterprise. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to drive. What does it really mean to harness "extensibly"? Think vertical. Think co-branded. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Flash. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think ultra-six-sigma. The channels factor is killer, global. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J2EE. We will step up our capacity to utilize without depreciating our power to actualize. Without appropriate portals, applications are forced to become C2B2B. HorsePorn practically invented the term "action-items". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, C2C2C. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "granular". If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The ability to deploy intuitively leads to the capability to orchestrate holistically. Without adequate platforms, architectures are forced to become cross-media. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. We will intensify our aptitude to incubate without devaluing our capacity to unleash. Think intuitive, back-end. Think viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. If you productize virtually, you may have to extend iteravely. Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Immediately? We often reinvent 24/7/365 compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think mega-viral. Think macro-backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSL. Think sticky. Think bleeding-edge. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the capacity of models to reinvent. The ability to architect vertically leads to the capability to architect transparently. Think distributed. We have come to know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to disintermediate iteravely. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! HorsePorn practically invented the term "CAE". It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will innovate the ability of affiliate-based eyeballs to scale. We will enable the standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "customer-directed". We believe we know that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also transform intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? If you synergize cyber-holistically, you may have to integrate dynamically. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "six-sigma communities" really mean? We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? The impactful versioning factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.