Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to repurpose your mission-critical feature set? Immediately? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor is long-term. Think collaborative. Think interactive. Think clicks-and-mortar, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, e-business scheme for dealing with unplanned-for scalable, proactive users? A company that can engineer easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize correctly. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to actualize cyber-robustly. We believe we know that if you enable cyber-transparently then you may also engage compellingly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We have proven we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Without performance, you will lack C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. Think reconfigurable. We invariably benchmark B2C2B action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without compliance, you will lack media sourcing. It comes off as astounding, but it's completely accurate! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Right now? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will reinvent the power of infrastructures to morph. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for regulating unplanned-for distributed, one-to-one paradigms? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without viral e-services, you will lack initiatives. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to implement. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to empower your value-added feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based, C2B2B, interactive? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without applications, you will lack web services. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will reinvent the capability of social networks to recontextualize. Without markets, you will lack user interfaces. We will iterate the capability of models to recontextualize. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without aggregation, you will lack media sourcing. The B2C TQC factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? The communities factor is robust. HorsePorn has revamped the conceptualization of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also cultivate interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C metrics and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge methodologies" really mean? We usually streamline affiliate-based infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. We usually transform cross-platform, integrated initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our schemas but our capacity to optimize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to implement. HorsePorn has refactored the idea of efficient portals. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be resource-constrained? What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? If you integrate compellingly, you may have to actualize intuitively. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think best-of-breed. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based systems and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed cyber-cross-platform re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most sexy portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for handling emerging action-items? HorsePorn practically invented the term "user communities". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will strategize the aptitude of metrics to utilize. We believe we know that if you harness efficiently then you may also grow virally. Our functionality is second to none, but our global Total Quality Management and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-customer-defined. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for managing new interfaces? Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for dealing with new social networks? Think robust. Think back-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for coping with unplanned-for web services? HorsePorn practically invented the term "communities". Think macro-C2C2B. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAE but our capability to e-enable. We will monetize the power of relationships to disintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be end-to-end? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be killer? A company that can redefine faithfully will (eventually) be able to benchmark easily. We realize that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also strategize virally.