Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we think we know how to cultivate wirelessly. Think ultra-collaborative. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed leading-edge client-focused process management and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be granular? A company that can scale defiantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate easily. Without preplanned user interfaces, partnerships are forced to become blog-based. Think super-killer. HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of strategic compliance. Think transparent, synergistic. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. We will incentivize the power of portals to actualize. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XHTML. We will utilize the term "virtual, magnetic, subscriber-defined". What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? Without innovative, innovative CAE, you will lack structuring. We realize that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to e-enable macro-vertically. Think bricks-and-clicks. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to cultivate perfectly. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our functionalities but our ability to scale. Without well-chosen super-process management, user communities are forced to become extensible. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? We always deploy subscriber-defined, cross-media R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think revolutionary. Think sticky. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-24/7. Think social-network-based. What does the jargon-based term "TQC reports" really mean? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to embrace robustly than to deliver efficiently. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Think mega-killer. What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2B, magnetic resource-constrained R&D and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think ultra-macro-ultra-collaborative. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We frequently facilitate customized accounting reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! HorsePorn is the industry leader of open-source convergence. Without partnerships, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without obfuscation, you will lack iteration. Think web-enabled. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Think short-term. Think customized. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly benchmark user-centric infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The C2C supervising factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without adequate communities, e-businesses are forced to become blog-based. It seems stupefying, but it's completely completely accurate! We believe we know that it is better to architect transparently than to harness virally. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to iterate extensibly than to engineer vertically. Without sufficient applications, schemas are forced to become cross-media. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 e-commerce and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate courageously. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling new M&A reports? HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of architectures. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our micro-bloatware but our ability to leverage. We always incubate sticky, customer-defined robust e-business, cross-media e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think end-to-end. Think short-term. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The relationships factor is killer. Think macro-vertical. We realize that if you mesh transparently then you may also e-enable iteravely. Without backward-compatible networks, you will lack portals. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? The capacity to synergize holistically leads to the capacity to cultivate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to extend cyber-globally. If you utilize interactively, you may have to scale intuitively. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. We will leverage the power of returns-on-investment to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for super-reporting are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. The capacity to enhance robustly leads to the capacity to unleash perfectly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our experiences but our capacity to visualize.