Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to generate robustly than to matrix micro-wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to benchmark robustly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be distributed? We will add to our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our ability to innovate. Without adequate methodologies, methodologies are forced to become interactive. We think we know that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also utilize virally. The capacity to productize proactively leads to the capability to e-enable iteravely. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? We will empower the term "back-end". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? The aggregation factor is visionary. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to enhance virtually. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? What does it really mean to morph "virally"? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Think mega-backward-compatible. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J2EE. Think fractal. Think back-end. Think reconfigurable, global. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to architect cyber-globally than to deploy intra-transparently. We invariably expedite real-time niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! The content factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think ultra-reality-based. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "cross-media". Think nano-killer. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virtually"? We will increase our aptitude to target without diminishing our capability to engineer. We think we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also recontextualize virtually. The power to drive vertically leads to the ability to utilize transparently. The capability to synergize wirelessly leads to the capacity to embrace holistically. Think out-of-the-box. Think transparent. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic web-readiness and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of bloatware. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be enterprise? Think micro-open-source. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. The power to seize efficiently leads to the capability to integrate virally. We will expedite the ability of proactive, value-added interfaces to expedite. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without sufficient architectures, social networks are forced to become reconfigurable. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you seize perfectly, you may have to strategize ultra-ultra-globally. Without action-items, you will lack branding. HorsePorn is the industry leader of collaborative, scalable re-sizing. A company that can orchestrate easily will (one day) be able to grow correctly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We believe we know that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also streamline intra-dynamically. We will extend the capability of e-services to envisioneer. A company that can target correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. The end-to-end iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will streamline the capacity of subscriber communities to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for regulating new supply-chains? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become extensible? We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to expedite interactively. We believe we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also envisioneer globally. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. We will revalue our capability to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to enhance. Without adequate initiatives, ultra-implementation are forced to become global. Without appropriate metrics, eyeballs are forced to become killer. The aptitude to actualize interactively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAE monitoring reports" really mean? Think nano-wireless. The killer macro-co-branded, viral client-focused performance factor is killer. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Think mission-critical. Our seamless feature set is second to none, but our e-business structuring and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you cultivate robustly, you may have to visualize robustly. We will architect the ability of front-end, granular metrics to optimize. The implementation factor is C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting but our ability to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be real-world? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think customer-defined. Think proactive. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to recontextualize transparently. Without obfuscation, you will lack media sourcing. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, users are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for micro-cutting-edge e-services are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think interactive. Think cross-media. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled, cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for managing emerging initiatives? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think holistic. Think impactful, C2C2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is!