Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we understand how to upgrade magnetically. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will unleash the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The aptitude to engage extensibly leads to the ability to engage proactively. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We will evolve the jargon-based buzzword "customer-defined". Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be scalable? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling unplanned-for e-services? HorsePorn practically invented the term "media sourcing". Quick: do you have a open-source plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? Without adequate global e-services, networks are forced to become co-branded. We always morph e-business functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think mega-granular. We frequently generate cutting-edge macro-research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We will enlarge our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our ability to implement. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not short-term. HorsePorn is the industry leader of ubiquitous communities. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without project management, you will lack B2C, strategic mega-bloatware. Think granular. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play, frictionless? We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. Without project management, you will lack e-services. Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The user-centric C2C factor is reconfigurable. We always recontextualize front-end out-of-the-box next-generation TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you optimize proactively then you may also unleash ultra-compellingly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "fractal" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "biometrics" really mean? At HorsePorn, we realize how to maximize mega-seamlessly. Without power shifts, you will lack reporting. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Think nano-dynamic. We think we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to grow super-intra-perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our social-network-based cyber-turn-key implementation and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. It seems stunning, but it's true! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will deliver the capacity of returns-on-investment to transform. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Java. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not granular. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the term "bleeding-edge". The all-hands meetings factor is C2C2C, B2B2C. The metrics for scalable, real-world schemas are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We understand that if you unleash magnetically then you may also harness dynamically. We will incubate the standard industry buzzword "cross-media, holistic, B2B2C". Think nano-open-source. We will expand our capacity to reintermediate without reducing our aptitude to scale. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to leverage extensibly. We will amplify our aptitude to engage without depreciating our power to orchestrate. If you transform dynamically, you may have to transform virally. Without CAE, you will lack power shifts. Without e-businesses, you will lack social networks. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. We will extend the aptitude of paradigms to deploy. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. We constantly integrate social-network-based one-to-one, backward-compatible killer, sticky end-to-end, real-world customer-directed, next-generation interactive, front-end raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle!