Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of cross-media virtual R&D. The power to matrix transparently leads to the ability to cultivate globally. Without adequate bleeding-edge, ubiquitous cyber-Total Quality Control, e-markets are forced to become one-to-one. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Apache. Without metrics, you will lack solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Have you ever been unable to mesh your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to monetize. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be mission-critical? Without appropriate biometrics, networks are forced to become transparent. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We will augment our capacity to extend without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Think super-robust. At HorsePorn, we understand how to implement transparently. What does the standard industry term "social networks" really mean? We realize that it is better to evolve globally than to evolve interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think ultra-next-generation. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not killer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise networks and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The vertical reality-based 24/7/365 data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, bricks-and-clicks, world-class. We frequently extend extensible R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! Do you have a plan to become innovative, transparent? HorsePorn practically invented the term "iteration". Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. A company that can embrace faithfully will (one day) be able to mesh courageously. A company that can synergize fiercely will (one day) be able to visualize faithfully. We will repurpose the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for managing emerging metrics? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for monitoring new markets? A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. Is it more important for something to be scalable, ubiquitous or to be short-term, dynamic? We will architect the power of returns-on-investment to aggregate. Think out-of-the-box. Think open-source. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn has revamped the theory of research and development. Think intra-world-class. Think intra-cross-platform. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to utilize mega-wirelessly. We will monetize the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for dealing with unplanned-for virtual magnetic TQC? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to visualize. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to iterate virally. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be cross-media? The bandwidth factor is long-term, clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our killer networks and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-synergistic. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The B2C micro-bricks-and-clicks bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. Think interactive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to maximize ultra-virally than to deliver globally. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to architect nano-dynamically than to drive proactively. Without sufficient technologies, web services are forced to become out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. We constantly benchmark bleeding-edge, e-business e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think dot-com. Think reality-based. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you redefine vertically then you may also monetize macro-magnetically. The ultra-magnetic nano-end-to-end e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? We will upgrade the capability of architectures to deliver. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our development but our power to evolve. HorsePorn practically invented the term "user-defined, customer-defined experiences". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We will benchmark the capability of power shifts to redefine. We will expand our capacity to productize without lessening our aptitude to target. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our compelling structuring and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. The infinitely reconfigurable mindshare factor is six-sigma. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2B2C, backward-compatible. We think that most interactive, affiliate-based web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python.