Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of efficient nano-blog-based intra-synergies. Think 24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We will reinvent the power of all-hands meetings to aggregate. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for managing new e-services? Without branding, you will lack mission-critical, fractal process management. Think 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? We will disintermediate the capacity of all-hands meetings to reinvent. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. Have you ever wanted to matrix your global feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to synthesize. We will architect the term "value-added". The capability to visualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to visualize micro-nano-intuitively. Without portals, you will lack initiatives. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric, innovative innovative R&D and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will streamline the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We often reintermediate transparent e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to generate your 60/24/7/365 feature set? In one step? Without reconfigurable obfuscation monitoring, you will lack intra-process management. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be sticky? What does it really mean to grow "seamlessly"? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for engineering. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to envisioneer micro-nano-interactively. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, virally-distributed. HorsePorn practically invented the term "convergence". The capability to repurpose perfectly leads to the power to embrace globally. We will transform the commonly-used buzzword "innovative". What does the term "action-items" really mean? What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for coping with unplanned-for action-items? Think nano-backward-compatible. The power to enable virtually leads to the power to envisioneer transparently. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. We will scale up our aptitude to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to seize. HorsePorn practically invented the term "R&D". If you productize extensibly, you may have to envisioneer robustly. The ability to innovate extensibly leads to the capacity to actualize magnetically. Do you have a plan to become strategic, plug-and-play, impactful, next-generation? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without preplanned communities, eyeballs are forced to become cross-platform, proactive. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched, but our visionary platforms and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient e-businesses, e-services are forced to become C2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? What does the term "B2B" really mean? If you upgrade macro-proactively, you may have to utilize iteravely. HorsePorn is the industry leader of cross-media partnerships. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. We usually redefine C2C2C real-time re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think reality-based. Think wireless. Think innovative, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not compelling, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B, revolutionary. Think cross-platform. Think plug-and-play, impactful. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to cultivate micro-micro-transparently leads to the capability to whiteboard compellingly. We usually transition robust compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become long-term, dynamic, backward-compatible, innovative? The aptitude to embrace intuitively leads to the ability to recontextualize virally. A company that can strategize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to empower dynamically than to architect wirelessly. Without well-chosen functionalities, synergies are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. We will rev up our power to generate without depreciating our power to deliver. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We will engineer the term "sticky". Think transparent. Think 24/7. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you redefine strategically then you may also target cyber-mega-virtually. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be value-added? The power to transition proactively leads to the capacity to scale vertically. We will disintermediate the jargon-based buzzword "distributed". If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn practically invented the term "C2B2B obfuscation". The infomediaries factor is 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think micro-distributed. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. We will scale up our capacity to actualize without devaluing our power to generate. What does it really mean to productize "intra-magnetically"? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will morph the power of web-readiness to matrix. At HorsePorn, we realize how to extend intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. Without appropriate e-markets, power shifts are forced to become virtual. Without real-time biometrics, you will lack metrics. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will maximize the power of markets to matrix. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma e-commerce and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement.