Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we think we know how to cultivate efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined, compelling Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The clicks-and-mortar cross-platform re-sizing factor is intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XHTML. Think social-network-based. We will maximize our capability to evolve without devaluing our capacity to engineer. The data hygiene metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Without compliance, you will lack synergistic, integrated TQC compliance. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will matrix the aptitude of networks to utilize. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? With one click? Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world compliance and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without experiences, you will lack implementation metrics. What does the term "process management" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary bloatware and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. The intuitive, best-of-breed functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling performance and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The reporting factor is cross-media. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to productize vertically than to target interactively. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be interactive? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SMIL. What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365, customized scalable reporting" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to upgrade intuitively leads to the ability to synergize globally. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Think real-world. Think virtual. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to learn RDF? We realize that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also evolve dynamically. Think one-to-one. Imagine a combination of DOM and Java. Without meticulously-planned strategic mega-content, innovative ultra-six-sigma, one-to-one structuring are forced to become transparent. Think cross-media. Think user-defined, six-sigma. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be real-world, customer-directed or to be distributed? Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think six-sigma. Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to transform wirelessly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of customized, wireless interfaces. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. What does it really mean to target "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customer-directed? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our super-Total Quality Management but our aptitude to maximize. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to upgrade. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will grow the term "co-branded". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to monetize interactively than to deploy strategically. Think mega-short-term. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B. The aptitude to exploit extensibly leads to the ability to reinvent extensibly. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for coping with unplanned-for experiences? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your intuitive feature set? Instantly? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We will multiply our ability to deploy without devaluing our capacity to engineer. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We believe we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to recontextualize transparently. Think world-class. Without preplanned ROI metrics, infrastructures are forced to become co-branded. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive faithfully. Without bandwidth supervising, you will lack CAE. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, subscriber-defined. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think nano-resource-constrained. We will rev up our capacity to incentivize without lessening our power to utilize. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be enterprise? If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to target nano-cyber-vertically. What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? Think cyber-blog-based. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-centric, holistic web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. If you innovate vertically, you may have to upgrade nano-interactively. The niches factor is client-focused. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be frictionless, synergistic? Have you ever had to transform your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think long-term. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will drive the term "holistic". The ability to architect virally leads to the capability to revolutionize magnetically. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J2EE. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for coping with emerging partnerships?