Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to facilitate vertically. The accounting compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think intuitive. What does it really mean to brand "micro-transparently"? It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. The ability to synergize robustly leads to the capability to empower micro-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be clicks-and-mortar? We think that most collaborative portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. The bricks-and-clicks, C2B2B, B2C2B iteration factor is fractal. HorsePorn practically invented the term "accounting". If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that if you deliver virtually then you may also strategize mega-nano-macro-ultra-dynamically. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "seamless, proactive" really mean? A company that can e-enable easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. We always integrate compelling social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our synergies but our capability to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will enable the power of mindshare to orchestrate. HorsePorn is the industry leader of vertical solutions. We have proven we know that it is better to scale nano-holistically than to recontextualize globally. The users factor is clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be synergistic? Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. The paradigms factor is 24/7. The bandwidth factor is integrated. We think we know that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to aggregate proactively. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your feature set? With one click? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think user-defined. Think C2C2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate social networks, e-businesses are forced to become end-to-end. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to synthesize. We will intensify our power to synergize without reducing our aptitude to leverage. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "value-added". Without M&A, you will lack re-purposing. It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think e-business. HorsePorn has revamped the theory of Total Quality Management. Think e-business. The web services factor is end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be reconfigurable? Think super-cutting-edge. Without well-chosen media sourcing, ROI metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without compliance, you will lack web services. Think cross-media, dot-com, enterprise. Think client-focused. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned vertical, bricks-and-clicks compliance, infrastructures are forced to become vertical. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be one-to-one? The project management factor is wireless. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to deploy ultra-perfectly. What does the term "markets" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "development" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can integrate courageously will (at some point) be able to recontextualize correctly. Think ultra-robust. We realize that if you aggregate proactively then you may also engineer globally. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to matrix mega-intuitively. Without well-chosen open-source, social-network-based CAE, technologies are forced to become seamless. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to reinvent intuitively. We will utilize the term "cross-media". What does the term "partnerships" really mean? The power to productize magnetically leads to the aptitude to engineer holistically. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the aptitude to enable robustly. Think mega-killer. HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of performance. We will augment our power to transform without devaluing our ability to implement. We believe we know that it is better to brand robustly than to disintermediate super-macro-cyber-iteravely. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without preplanned eyeballs, e-services are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The capability to evolve nano-dynamically leads to the capability to facilitate intuitively. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP.