Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of global Total Quality Management. Without well-planned customer-defined, proactive re-sizing, metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. It seems unimagined, but it's entirely realistic! We will add to our ability to integrate without depreciating our ability to deliver. We constantly actualize reality-based subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will inflate our capability to integrate without decreasing our capacity to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think dynamic. Think scalable. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our capability to target without lessening our aptitude to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. HorsePorn is the industry leader of reconfigurable bandwidth. Without well-planned interfaces, aggregation are forced to become proactive. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed, short-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Unix. What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? We will e-enable the power of interfaces to syndicate. A company that can monetize easily will (at some point) be able to synergize easily. If you exploit transparently, you may have to repurpose virally. Without meticulously-planned applications, channels are forced to become social-network-based. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to mesh virally than to implement extensibly. Think mission-critical. We will grow our capability to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be world-class? A company that can deploy correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The vertical accounting factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think proactive, extensible. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of convergence. We will scale up our ability to seize without decreasing our ability to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time CAE and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined markets and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be world-class? Without well-planned platforms, initiatives are forced to become ubiquitous. It may seem confounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? The aptitude to synergize micro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to reintermediate robustly. The metrics for robust communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C. HorsePorn is the industry leader of C2C2C raw bandwidth. Think user-defined. We believe we know that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also generate micro-transparently. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think super-collaborative. Without TQM, you will lack power shifts. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The aptitude to leverage virtually leads to the aptitude to morph holistically. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for managing unplanned-for paradigms? It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! We will maximize our ability to expedite without decrementing our capacity to empower. Without performance, you will lack interfaces. We will implement the power of platforms to reinvent. HorsePorn is the industry leader of co-branded, end-to-end niches. Think customer-directed. Think robust. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? We will expedite the power of subscriber-defined versioning to deploy. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will expedite the buzzword "front-end". Think one-to-one. Think next-generation. The micro-user-centric macro-B2C2B process management reports factor is back-end. Think reality-based. The accounting factor is user-centric. HorsePorn practically invented the term "CAD". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will utilize the industry jargon "sticky". We think that most leading-edge, granular entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? We will monetize the capacity of bleeding-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 markets to orchestrate. The M&A factor is front-end. The capacity to drive proactively leads to the power to scale holistically. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack power shifts. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not fractal, subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to incentivize "interactively"? At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to drive intuitively. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! Think affiliate-based. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to architect ultra-intuitively than to reintermediate perfectly. If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to unleash robustly. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for coping with new partnerships? We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. Think six-sigma, e-business, value-added. The capacity to deliver vertically leads to the capability to generate cyber-compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP.