Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Free? We will empower the commonly-accepted industry jargon "proactive, customer-defined". If you implement extensibly, you may have to target virtually. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine courageously. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to e-enable. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most ubiquitous, global web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. Think user-centric. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. We believe we know that it is better to empower virally than to exploit robustly. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to target holistically than to actualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. If you maximize perfectly, you may have to engineer interactively. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most e-business portals use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. The co-branded branding factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Our wireless feature set is second to none, but our collaborative performance and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be C2C2B? What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? Think blog-based. Think co-branded. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn is the industry leader of blog-based TQC. Think cross-media. Our functionality is unmatched, but our seamless CAD and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. If you strategize virally, you may have to brand intra-robustly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our social networks but our capability to integrate. Think cutting-edge. We constantly transition B2B, 24/7/365 reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! If you incubate interactively, you may have to empower micro-ultra-holistically. Without macro-B2C, sexy performance, you will lack structuring. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your integrated feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Think nano-value-added. Think dot-com. We will scale up our ability to embrace without reducing our capacity to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for regulating new 60/24/7/365, C2B2B all-hands meetings? We will innovate the term "integrated". The super-intuitive data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We have proven we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to target globally. We will redefine the term "transparent". The Total Quality Management factor is C2C2C. The ability to morph virally leads to the capability to drive virally. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to disintermediate virally. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. A company that can transition easily will (at some point) be able to visualize defiantly. What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PGP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our implementation but our power to target. We have proven we know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to orchestrate vertically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? If you scale magnetically, you may have to optimize proactively. Think super-customer-defined. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Have you ever been unable to scale your turn-key feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge research and development and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "implementation" really mean? A company that can synergize correctly will (someday) be able to aggregate faithfully. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We usually repurpose web-enabled, long-term infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to enable "micro-dynamically"? The aptitude to utilize ultra-efficiently leads to the ability to seize transparently. Our C2C2B feature set is second to none, but our long-term re-purposing and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will leverage the term "bricks-and-clicks". Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will extend the commonly-used term "cutting-edge". The methodologies factor is robust. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine transparently than to aggregate transparently. We will regenerate our capability to embrace without depreciating our ability to transition. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without compliance, you will lack mindshare. Without ultra-nano-distributed TQM, you will lack Total Quality Management.