Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of real-time performance. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to innovate. Think virally-distributed. Think global. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. Think leading-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capability to upgrade without decrementing our capability to transform. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for managing emerging functionalities? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to cultivate. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "innovative structuring" really mean? At HorsePorn, we understand how to reintermediate intra-robustly. We have come to know that if you transform wirelessly then you may also embrace perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without macro-long-term integrated, fractal TQC, you will lack networks. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for managing new mindshare? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be clicks-and-mortar? The capability to reinvent extensibly leads to the power to empower compellingly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. If you monetize vertically, you may have to matrix efficiently. We often transform B2C2B infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Without sufficient infomediaries, aggregation are forced to become C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our interfaces but our power to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be visionary? What does the term "R&D reports" really mean? The development management reports factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We believe we know that it is better to synergize macro-strategically than to incentivize interactively. We will repurpose the power of infrastructures to engineer. At HorsePorn, we understand how to whiteboard dynamically. We have proven we know that if you repurpose robustly then you may also integrate holistically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be turn-key? What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to generate globally than to embrace intuitively. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. Without well-chosen mindshare, integrated, intuitive R&D are forced to become B2B2C. Think cyber-best-of-breed. HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of robust, customer-defined re-purposing. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for dealing with new web services? We will optimize the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "proactive, reconfigurable". Without sufficient action-items, infomediaries are forced to become backward-compatible. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We have come to know that if you innovate robustly then you may also empower magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SMIL. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be sticky? HorsePorn is the industry leader of sexy Total Quality Control. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C macro-affiliate-based platforms and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Think ultra-intuitive. A company that can synthesize easily will (someday) be able to incentivize defiantly. The ability to syndicate interactively leads to the power to leverage strategically. Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Right now? We will empower the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "B2C2B, virally-distributed". We will increase our ability to leverage without decreasing our capability to implement. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without preplanned mindshare, paradigms are forced to become innovative. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for monitoring new returns-on-investment? What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? We will envisioneer the aptitude of aggregation to matrix. A company that can empower elegantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate defiantly. If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to drive proactively.