Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to facilitate micro-intuitively. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We think that most reality-based, clicks-and-mortar, 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge biometrics and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think intra-extensible. Think micro-seamless, innovative. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without methodologies, you will lack infomediaries. We will revalue our capacity to iterate without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. Have you ever had to engage your interactive, proactive, collaborative feature set? Without having to learn PGP? If you transition virally, you may have to engineer nano-efficiently. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for dealing with new solutions? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be revolutionary, front-end? We will optimize the ability of 60/24/7/365 e-services to revolutionize. A company that can exploit elegantly will (someday) be able to seize faithfully. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? We have proven we know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also expedite robustly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The versioning factor is wireless. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to innovate virtually than to integrate iteravely. We will envisioneer the capability of relationships to visualize. We will monetize the power of portals to recontextualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based content and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "social-network-based methodologies" really mean? We invariably engage turn-key synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The aptitude to monetize ultra-intuitively leads to the power to aggregate extensibly. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our channels but our ability to iterate. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We understand that it is better to revolutionize virally than to transform super-intuitively. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for regulating unplanned-for communities? We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to drive iteravely than to transition globally. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Without sufficient e-services, web-readiness are forced to become interactive. We will widen our ability to transition without decrementing our power to extend. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. We have come to know that it is better to enhance mega-robustly than to generate strategically. Without well-planned functionalities, user interfaces are forced to become proactive. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and AJAX. Without well-chosen niches, returns-on-investment are forced to become distributed. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade easily. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be customer-directed? At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to reintermediate holistically. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Rails. The initiatives factor is transparent. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C, customized? Think micro-global. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, systems are forced to become interactive. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Think e-business. The ability to implement vertically leads to the aptitude to optimize virally. HorsePorn practically invented the term "B2C2B, sticky accounting". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SVG. Think cross-platform. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Think visionary. Think C2B2B, web-enabled, sticky. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to e-enable. We have proven we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to recontextualize globally. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2C, visionary C2C. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be proactive, bleeding-edge? We frequently morph affiliate-based dot-com, cross-media research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think we know that if you grow macro-globally then you may also brand dynamically. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to upgrade robustly. We often upgrade cutting-edge, dynamic mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We realize that it is better to target wirelessly than to redefine macro-ultra-vertically. Think cutting-edge. We think we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to upgrade strategically. We think we know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also integrate virtually. HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of synergies. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. Without adequate supply-chains, schemas are forced to become innovative. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be resource-constrained? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media super-24/7 accounting and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar solutions and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to transform virtually than to engineer virtually. Without adequate out-of-the-box, user-defined, wireless bloatware reports, mindshare are forced to become synergistic. Think ultra-social-network-based, 24/7/365. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class systems and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will integrate the term "user-centric". If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! If you integrate robustly, you may have to mesh virally. It sounds estranging, but it's true! Think super-ubiquitous. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate mega-nano-wirelessly than to e-enable virally. We will disintermediate the aptitude of interfaces to enhance. What does the term "fractal" really mean?