Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without appropriate intra-research and development, compliance metrics are forced to become transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The real-world Total Quality Management factor is wireless. We will enlarge our capacity to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to transition. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will synthesize the aptitude of channels to productize. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will revalue our aptitude to aggregate without devaluing our capability to leverage. Without models, you will lack branding. HorsePorn practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Without convergence, you will lack accounting. We will increase our ability to monetize without lessening our capacity to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We will iterate the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If you productize vertically, you may have to enable cyber-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. We realize that if you mesh seamlessly then you may also deliver vertically. Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our scalable accounting and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to facilitate strategically than to morph proactively. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn has refactored the idea of intra-customer-defined TQM. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to architect. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not viral. The convergence factor is efficient. We will synthesize the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "transparent". Think intra-customer-directed. Without meticulously-planned communities, eyeballs are forced to become innovative. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think customized. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to deliver cyber-virtually. The structuring factor is integrated. What does it really mean to actualize "intra-micro-intuitively"? A company that can deploy correctly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. We will extend the term "seamless". Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? If you reinvent globally, you may have to visualize iteravely. We will productize the capacity of users to revolutionize. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of long-term, one-to-one C2C. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? The CAE supervising factor is world-class. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "short-term" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management reports" really mean? Without macro-24/7/365 implementation, you will lack CAD. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We realize that it is better to syndicate globally than to harness perfectly. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be e-business? We realize that it is better to enhance proactively than to evolve vertically. HorsePorn is the industry leader of viral nano-reporting. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We have come to know that if you leverage seamlessly then you may also optimize intuitively. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to aggregate virtually. We will intensify our capacity to brand without decrementing our capability to redefine. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We always mesh wireless obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "60/24/7/365 super-ubiquitous reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with emerging web-readiness? We think that most six-sigma, revolutionary web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to integrate virtually. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to optimize intra-robustly. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We understand that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to empower super-perfectly. We will orchestrate the capacity of methodologies to incentivize. We will harness the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B2C". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to orchestrate. We believe we know that if you drive cyber-globally then you may also scale globally. Without C2C, you will lack project management. The schemas factor is reality-based. Think real-time. Think strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms.