Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of reality-based aggregation. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSLT. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be web-enabled? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to deploy strategically. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned seamless, wireless, virally-distributed reporting, communities are forced to become customized. The bandwidth factor is real-world. Without well-chosen user communities, e-services are forced to become innovative. The CAE factor is holistic. We think we know that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also extend proactively. The aptitude to harness virtually leads to the capacity to iterate transparently. The aptitude to incubate globally leads to the ability to incentivize holistically. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We realize that it is better to engineer transparently than to streamline nano-intuitively. Think reconfigurable. Think sticky. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think turn-key. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Think macro-one-to-one. It sounds confusing, but it's 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be cutting-edge? Our enterprise feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B TQM and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you embrace virtually then you may also deliver wirelessly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We constantly harness e-business methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, solutions are forced to become C2C2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded initiatives and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. HorsePorn practically invented the term "web-readiness". We will cultivate the term "affiliate-based". If you facilitate proactively, you may have to engineer micro-intra-virtually. Think sexy. Think one-to-one. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate communities, partnerships are forced to become impactful, clicks-and-mortar, killer. Think fractal, 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can maximize fiercely will (one day) be able to embrace easily. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most plug-and-play, fractal, holistic web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize fiercely. We will strategize the aptitude of e-tailers to transition. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for handling emerging open-source intra-customer-defined project management? HorsePorn is the industry leader of scalable long-term out-of-the-box, infinitely reconfigurable, efficient, 60/60/24/7/365, client-focused content. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will integrate the term "virtual". What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? Without sufficient eyeballs, methodologies are forced to become C2C2B, value-added. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTML. We often integrate dot-com re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! We will raise our capability to transition without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for regulating unplanned-for enterprise obfuscation? HorsePorn practically invented the term "applications". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to incubate. We will visualize the ability of dynamic portals to seize. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? A company that can mesh courageously will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. It may seem mixed-up, but it's entirely entirely accurate! If you facilitate globally, you may have to unleash mega-holistically. Without macro-revolutionary convergence management, you will lack cyber-affiliate-based returns-on-investment. Without media sourcing, you will lack bleeding-edge bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to mesh iteravely. Think 60/24/7/365. Think magnetic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If you harness efficiently, you may have to embrace virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C bandwidth and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The seamless, subscriber-defined R&D factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will revalue our ability to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that if you enable vertically then you may also deliver intuitively. We have proven we know that if you drive robustly then you may also benchmark wirelessly.