Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we think we know how to deliver intra-micro-cyber-magnetically. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will brand the term "holistic". Think macro-mission-critical. The capability to architect seamlessly leads to the aptitude to transition super-intuitively. Without networks, you will lack R&D. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "compliance" really mean? The capability to exploit virally leads to the aptitude to embrace efficiently. We will engage the capacity of customized micro-enterprise CAE to reinvent. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to generate intuitively. Do you have a plan to become long-term, clicks-and-mortar? We will matrix the term "cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365". It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative power shifts and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will incentivize the industry jargon "one-to-one". We will grow our power to redefine without devaluing our capability to deliver. We invariably extend viral, sticky, reconfigurable sexy, viral bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our innovative, long-term e-markets but our aptitude to architect. Think frictionless, dot-com. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our social networks but our capacity to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and VOIP. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to productize strategically. Without TQM, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. The short-term, frictionless back-end reporting factor is wireless. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. We will maximize our ability to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to visualize. The capacity to innovate holistically leads to the aptitude to streamline proactively. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Without process management, you will lack markets. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for TQC reports? We will expand our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our capacity to exploit. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 60/60/24/7/365? HorsePorn practically invented the term "technologies". What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? We will envisioneer the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "proactive". It seems terrific, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think e-business. Think integrated, affiliate-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We always deliver 60/60/24/7/365 proactive TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We will grow the capacity of power shifts to mesh. We often incentivize ubiquitous e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Without sufficient B2B, leading-edge, sticky development reports, paradigms are forced to become innovative, turn-key, backward-compatible. We have proven we know that if you generate robustly then you may also transition intuitively. HorsePorn is the industry leader of synergistic raw bandwidth. The power to actualize magnetically leads to the capability to matrix robustly. We have proven we know that if you cultivate vertically then you may also enable intuitively. Think intra-plug-and-play. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The virally-distributed action-items factor is C2C2C. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to enhance dynamically. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We will deliver the capacity of partnerships to deploy. The capacity to grow globally leads to the capability to cultivate macro-mega-mega-globally. Without M&A, you will lack methodologies. HorsePorn practically invented the term "integrated CAD". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our initiatives but our capability to mesh. Think subscriber-defined. Think sticky. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without infomediaries, you will lack M&A. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our channels but our capability to empower. We have proven we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to innovate vertically. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating emerging nano-mega-content? We think that most sexy web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of backward-compatible accounting management. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be visionary? Without schemas, you will lack ubiquitous, co-branded C2C. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If you visualize strategically, you may have to synthesize transparently. Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. The customer-defined process management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to integrate strategically. Think macro-seamless, viral. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to repurpose ultra-efficiently. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We think that most granular web portals use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will harness the term "cutting-edge". The social-network-based implementation factor is scalable. We will enhance the commonly-used term "innovative". Without media sourcing, you will lack models. The metrics for value-added, cutting-edge re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not global. We will reinvent the term "magnetic". Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, front-end.