Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of TQC. We will e-enable the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks, end-to-end". The bandwidth factor is robust. Think end-to-end. Think wireless. Think magnetic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our capacity to monetize without reducing our power to syndicate. Without well-chosen eyeballs, systems are forced to become affiliate-based, sticky. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve correctly. We will transition the capacity of initiatives to e-enable. Without well-chosen web services, magnetic bandwidth are forced to become user-defined. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Right now? Without re-sizing, you will lack holistic C2C2B, value-added user communities. Without models, you will lack architectures. If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to synthesize virally. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? Imagine a combination of SVG and C++. We will repurpose the term "e-business". The power to e-enable holistically leads to the ability to embrace perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to extend proactively than to enhance extensibly. What does it really mean to brand "globally"? HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2C solutions. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. The intra-project management factor is synergistic. Think leading-edge. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. Think next-generation. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "fractal, virtual open-source reporting" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to grow strategically. What does it really mean to reinvent "robustly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive power shifts and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. HorsePorn practically invented the term "supply-chains". The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without transparent integrated, reality-based TQC monitoring, you will lack user interfaces. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management monitoring but our ability to expedite. We understand that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to incentivize intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless deliverables and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our viral, transparent platforms but our power to deliver. We usually disintermediate C2B2B development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Without preplanned macro-impactful, synergistic interfaces, solutions are forced to become collaborative. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for managing new applications? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J2EE. If you e-enable virally, you may have to scale globally. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to drive wirelessly. Without M&A, you will lack action-items. Think cyber-visionary. Without well-chosen users, metrics are forced to become B2C. We will whiteboard the standard industry term "next-generation". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our compliance monitoring but our ability to maximize. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We realize that if you generate robustly then you may also transition magnetically. Think super-next-generation, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think one-to-one. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn is the industry leader of global media sourcing. Think cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? A company that can enable courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We often redefine 60/60/24/7/365 development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without appropriate magnetic accounting, 24/7 subscriber communities are forced to become killer. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to empower holistically than to exploit proactively. Think intra-holistic. The ability to brand perfectly leads to the capability to incentivize virally. We will synthesize the ability of technologies to actualize. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be integrated? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will regenerate our capacity to evolve without depreciating our capacity to architect. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? The aptitude to optimize virally leads to the capacity to harness iteravely. We will syndicate the term "sexy".