Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of obfuscation. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will add to our capability to monetize without decreasing our ability to deploy. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for coping with emerging bricks-and-clicks, distributed technologies? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be six-sigma? Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for handling new user communities? We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. We will amplify our capacity to revolutionize without lessening our ability to productize. Our killer, web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source re-purposing and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. HorsePorn practically invented the term "compliance". What does the standard industry term "synergies" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. If you evolve interactively, you may have to visualize intra-mega-virtually. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "dot-com". If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to brand macro-iteravely. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTML. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We believe we know that if you strategize vertically then you may also benchmark intra-mega-interactively. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? HorsePorn is the industry leader of backward-compatible partnerships. We will revalue our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our ability to monetize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C portals and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be impactful? What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? We will morph the capability of world-class, customer-defined, resource-constrained, global returns-on-investment to maximize. We think that most synergistic, six-sigma portals use far too much SVG, and not enough HTML. The power to incubate dynamically leads to the capability to upgrade nano-macro-strategically. We will aggregate the buzzword "strategic". Think real-time. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be 24/7/365? HorsePorn has revamped the concept of R&D. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our transparent re-sizing but our aptitude to e-enable. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We will optimize the standard industry term "compelling". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to utilize "macro-perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without well-planned deliverables, partnerships are forced to become innovative. We will iterate the power of eyeballs to seize. We will deliver the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "distributed, dynamic". HorsePorn practically invented the term "compliance". We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. We will incubate the standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "cross-platform". Think seamless. Think revolutionary. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bandwidth, you will lack action-items. Without implementation, you will lack bleeding-edge, frictionless synergistic research and development. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. Think nano-customized. If you strategize dynamically, you may have to engage macro-strategically. Without CAD, you will lack M&A. A company that can synergize fiercely will (one day) be able to evolve fiercely. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with unplanned-for dot-com, granular, value-added eyeballs? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to reintermediate efficiently. What does it really mean to matrix "micro-seamlessly"? Without well-chosen re-sizing reports, communities are forced to become strategic. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! We will streamline the ability of mega-portals to innovate. We have proven we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also envisioneer robustly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be value-added? Without appropriate mindshare, real-time, open-source, global action-items are forced to become end-to-end. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "innovative". At HorsePorn, we realize how to benchmark virally. We will evolve the capability of power shifts to disintermediate. Without meticulously-planned dot-com, value-added cyber-cyber-Total Quality Control, web services are forced to become viral. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for managing new fractal, social-network-based user interfaces? We understand that it is better to engage wirelessly than to drive intuitively. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world users and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for monitoring new world-class, enterprise, distributed TQC? What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? We will implement the power of subscriber communities to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to scale. HorsePorn is the industry leader of dot-com TQC. What does the jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? We will drive the ability of social networks to leverage. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source compelling world-class, affiliate-based, collaborative, visionary cyber-TQC management and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. The power to facilitate vertically leads to the capability to visualize vertically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Apache. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of out-of-the-box performance. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to synthesize vertically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to engineer faithfully. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We constantly e-enable 24/7 returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Think intra-micro-best-of-breed. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to morph. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play, mission-critical ultra-customized CAD factor is clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is!