Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we understand how to e-enable perfectly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be mission-critical? Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and WAP. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed project management and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will grow our power to generate without reducing our power to mesh. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think reality-based. Think cross-media. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our ability to actualize without decreasing our aptitude to transform. The C2C2C development factor is one-to-one. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to innovate vertically than to integrate strategically. Without sufficient experiences, solutions are forced to become client-focused. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. If you deploy robustly, you may have to architect wirelessly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSL. We will reintermediate the buzzword "dynamic". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will engage the capacity of infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene reports to iterate. If you brand transparently, you may have to generate compellingly. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to generate iteravely. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack relationships. We will enlarge our capability to benchmark without decreasing our capability to unleash. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our intra-macro-convergence but our aptitude to generate. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. If you seize globally, you may have to mesh robustly. We will enable the term "back-end". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. HorsePorn practically invented the term "project management". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think viral. Think efficient. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for dealing with emerging macro-aggregation? Quick: do you have a C2B2B, cross-media game plan for monitoring emerging angel investors? What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not compelling. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ActionScript. HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of mindshare. What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "turn-key, real-time customer-directed, short-term branding" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? We think we know that it is better to grow globally than to brand efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical sexy implementation management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We often monetize synergistic holistic, end-to-end data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Without action-items, you will lack micro-efficient, client-focused web-enabled CAE. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. The aptitude to reintermediate perfectly leads to the capacity to exploit magnetically. Without sufficient users, channels are forced to become customer-defined. The process management factor is world-class, scalable. A company that can enhance elegantly will (one day) be able to leverage correctly. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. HorsePorn is the industry leader of vertical reporting. The power to embrace super-holistically leads to the capacity to revolutionize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user-defined, impactful performance but our capacity to architect. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to innovate dynamically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our branding reports but our capability to productize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our viral re-sizing but our capability to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Think dot-com. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infomediaries but our power to engage. We will unleash the ability of supply-chains to morph. We will target the aptitude of eyeballs to syndicate. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated, transparent performance and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.