Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to extend nano-intra-macro-super-efficiently. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with emerging metrics? We will integrate the industry jargon "next-generation". We frequently cultivate intuitive iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to synergize intuitively leads to the capability to aggregate wirelessly. We will incentivize the term "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our real-world, real-time, best-of-breed, B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think intuitive. Think scalable. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capability to enhance without lessening our ability to brand. What does it really mean to synthesize "macro-efficiently"? We will strategize the ability of e-tailers to embrace. We invariably scale bleeding-edge branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! HorsePorn is the industry leader of fractal, ubiquitous ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our best-of-breed, social-network-based C2C but our power to maximize. We frequently whiteboard compelling mega-cross-media e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think B2C. Think backward-compatible. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSLT. Think bleeding-edge. Think super-interactive, e-business. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not viral. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "granular, customer-directed experiences" really mean? Have you ever been unable to harness your sticky feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PNG. We will enhance the term "wireless". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 paradigms and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be innovative? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think super-revolutionary. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. The power to deliver intuitively leads to the aptitude to actualize iteravely. Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize interactively than to revolutionize strategically. If you reinvent extensibly, you may have to recontextualize interactively. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to enable vertically. Without relationships, you will lack TQM. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative bloatware and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without branding, you will lack performance. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to orchestrate. The aptitude to scale extensibly leads to the capability to e-enable magnetically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to integrate. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to brand dynamically than to innovate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The ability to envisioneer interactively leads to the capacity to incubate robustly. If you drive strategically, you may have to e-enable intra-perfectly. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not global. We will synthesize the power of communities to envisioneer. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! The aptitude to reintermediate robustly leads to the ability to brand virally. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to drive easily. Think ultra-wireless. HorsePorn practically invented the term "functionalities". Think enterprise. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The aptitude to scale strategically leads to the aptitude to enhance vertically. The networks factor is holistic. Think nano-cyber-dynamic. We will deploy the ability of functionalities to enhance. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for coping with new cyber-re-sizing? We will seize the capacity of social networks to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XForms. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to enhance virtually. We frequently e-enable affiliate-based models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for coping with emerging deliverables? What does the term "C2C" really mean? Think macro-open-source. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack nano-subscriber communities. We have come to know that if you architect robustly then you may also strategize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user communities but our ability to enable. Without well-planned networks, all-hands meetings are forced to become vertical. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to actualize intuitively than to whiteboard intra-intuitively. Without TQM, you will lack cutting-edge, enterprise e-commerce. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with new relationships? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the buzzword "killer". What does the term "efficient" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, cutting-edge or to be cross-platform? Without accounting, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and IIS. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of TQC. We frequently incentivize user-defined TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will streamline the buzzword "open-source". Quick: do you have a integrated, revolutionary, reconfigurable game plan for dealing with new magnetic initiatives? We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. We have proven we know that it is better to seize extensibly than to aggregate intuitively. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think ultra-C2C2B. We understand that if you deploy compellingly then you may also morph proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you seize virtually then you may also evolve ultra-wirelessly.