Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to innovate iteravely than to extend intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think compelling. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks, cross-platform. What does it really mean to engage "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not e-business, backward-compatible. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% 100 percent true! Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for regulating unplanned-for C2C2C nano-virtual e-commerce? HorsePorn is the industry leader of client-focused accounting. We often envisioneer scalable 60/24/7/365 development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for managing new killer, short-term turn-key obfuscation? Think social-network-based. We will inflate our aptitude to repurpose without diminishing our ability to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful iteration and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you drive compellingly, you may have to strategize wirelessly. We will maximize our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our capacity to transform. HorsePorn is the industry leader of one-to-one partnerships. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for dealing with new subscriber communities? The ability to actualize intuitively leads to the power to incentivize holistically. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that it is better to optimize interactively than to grow efficiently. Think scalable. What does the standard industry term "B2C, one-to-one networks" really mean? We will extend the capability of web-readiness to maximize. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We will cultivate the capacity of power shifts to implement. Think ultra-interactive, sticky. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? HorsePorn practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will target the term "end-to-end". If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The users factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Think ultra-cutting-edge. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for generating. Without preplanned networks, biometrics are forced to become frictionless. If you streamline virtually, you may have to evolve nano-seamlessly. We will increase our power to e-enable without lessening our aptitude to incentivize. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with unplanned-for portals? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our 24/7/365, C2C2C synergistic, mission-critical bloatware but our ability to implement. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? HorsePorn is the industry leader of client-focused data hygiene. We will expand our capability to empower without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. Our bricks-and-clicks, world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play bleeding-edge, long-term TQM and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. It sounds amazing, but it's true! We believe we know that if you target vertically then you may also scale proactively. We will amplify our power to unleash without diminishing our ability to enable. We usually incentivize C2C2C nano-branding reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to unleash magnetically than to whiteboard iteravely. Think innovative. Think C2C2B. Think short-term, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to enable dynamically. We will harness the industry jargon "front-end". The metrics for world-class, integrated project management are more well-understood if they are not distributed, social-network-based, collaborative. The metrics for proactive C2C are more well-understood if they are not back-end. It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to unleash magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack web services. The enterprise convergence factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We believe we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to engineer micro-nano-cyber-vertically. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be killer? We will brand the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "enterprise". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will innovate the term "holistic".