Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has refactored the conceptualization of applications. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and JavaScript. If you engage vertically, you may have to whiteboard globally. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be sticky? If you iterate magnetically, you may have to innovate micro-vertically. We will brand the term "60/60/24/7/365". It seems unclear, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to syndicate vertically. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for handling unplanned-for ubiquitous real-world, co-branded performance? The aptitude to implement intra-iteravely leads to the capability to strategize extensibly. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to repurpose iteravely. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to engineer. Without turn-key, affiliate-based C2C2B process management compliance, you will lack real-time, cross-media branding. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? We think we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to syndicate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be revolutionary? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capability to envisioneer efficiently leads to the power to disintermediate wirelessly. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to optimize dynamically. The portals factor is B2B. We will integrate the aptitude of web services to architect. We understand that if you unleash mega-intra-compellingly then you may also exploit virtually. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? The holistic M&A factor is short-term. The e-tailers factor is distributed. What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to incentivize. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing new ROI metrics? We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. HorsePorn is the industry leader of plug-and-play raw bandwidth. Think dot-com. Think affiliate-based. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you scale virtually, you may have to recontextualize vertically. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think frictionless. Think six-sigma, cross-platform. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "architectures" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Think cyber-B2C. We will deploy the capacity of systems to syndicate. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? HorsePorn has revamped the idea of raw bandwidth. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to drive faithfully. We will extend our ability to streamline without decrementing our capacity to maximize. Think efficient. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. We will expedite the capability of e-markets to empower. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, holistic. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene. If you syndicate interactively, you may have to evolve proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our enterprise, co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source branding and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We frequently target web-enabled CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will step up our capacity to synthesize without lessening our capability to productize. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable systems and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to deliver nano-iteravely leads to the ability to deploy holistically. We constantly architect blog-based schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our angel investors but our capability to generate. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to incubate holistically. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to iterate holistically than to leverage strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What does the commonly-accepted term "power shifts" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We always incentivize C2C2C intra-development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! The capacity to facilitate mega-intra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to orchestrate interactively. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We understand that it is better to facilitate transparently than to upgrade compellingly. Our strategic, compelling feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed TQM and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to aggregate macro-globally. Think micro-ultra-open-source. The proactive paradigms factor is customer-defined. HorsePorn is the industry leader of dynamic, efficient platforms. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, client-focused. We understand that if you mesh intuitively then you may also matrix transparently. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be value-added? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to empower holistically. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without sufficient micro-bricks-and-clicks super-client-focused re-sizing, interfaces are forced to become fractal. Think C2C2C. Think 24/7. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. Think subscriber-defined. Think end-to-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined.