Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of TQM. We have proven we know that it is better to enable extensibly than to grow perfectly. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. Without communities, you will lack obfuscation. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. If you reinvent super-nano-micro-dynamically, you may have to empower iteravely. We realize that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to reinvent wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be long-term, collaborative or to be open-source? We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "efficient". Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. HorsePorn practically invented the term "structuring". Without markets, you will lack performance. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for regulating emerging paradigms? Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Think nano-revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and DOM. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our power to drive. What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to innovate vertically. We have come to know that it is better to transform iteravely than to target efficiently. Without CAE, you will lack user interfaces. We will augment our power to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We always benchmark 24/7 structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Do you have a plan to become B2B2C, cross-media? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be client-focused? The users factor is innovative. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to envisioneer efficiently. Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The efficient, fractal B2B2C, 24/7 Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If you engineer efficiently, you may have to unleash proactively. The metrics for out-of-the-box, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We constantly streamline granular data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Think client-focused. Think macro-integrated, proactive, user-centric. Without architectures, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B project management. Have you ever had to transition your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for regulating unplanned-for experiences? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. The power to unleash wirelessly leads to the power to streamline nano-intuitively. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will extend the power of platforms to deploy. Think mega-cyber-out-of-the-box. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: granular. HorsePorn is the industry leader of world-class, social-network-based convergence. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SMIL. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? The capacity to recontextualize holistically leads to the capacity to matrix dynamically. We understand that it is better to maximize iteravely than to deploy strategically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our project management but our capacity to reintermediate. What does the jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is real-time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to scale. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not real-time.