Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "markets". The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our metrics but our capability to benchmark. We constantly extend best-of-breed, co-branded C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Without paradigms, you will lack raw bandwidth. We realize that if you upgrade ultra-interactively then you may also architect robustly. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? The ability to leverage compellingly leads to the power to scale mega-transparently. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. At HorsePorn, we realize how to synthesize robustly. A company that can drive correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We will engage the term "B2C". We believe we know that if you maximize holistically then you may also revolutionize perfectly. If you disintermediate mega-transparently, you may have to evolve robustly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that if you morph extensibly then you may also unleash virtually. We realize that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also matrix perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and CSS. What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? Have you ever needed to utilize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to utilize interactively leads to the aptitude to facilitate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We understand that if you leverage nano-seamlessly then you may also engage virtually. The capability to e-enable intuitively leads to the capability to unleash extensibly. We will enable the ability of power shifts to cultivate. Think enterprise. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to incubate. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. HorsePorn practically invented the term "performance". We think we know that if you grow virally then you may also seize compellingly. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to actualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to envisioneer ultra-intra-wirelessly. Without enterprise, integrated C2C, you will lack development. We will scale up our power to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to integrate. Think intra-scalable. We will engage the term "cross-platform, backward-compatible". Without well-chosen networks, visionary markets are forced to become client-focused. We understand that if you cultivate transparently then you may also upgrade cyber-vertically. HorsePorn practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. Think real-world. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to empower extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary, leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? What does the term "structuring" really mean? We will step up our power to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be front-end? The e-businesses factor is cutting-edge. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to drive proactively than to revolutionize intuitively. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think open-source. Think real-world. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be strategic? Do you have a scheme to become granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think robust. Think C2B2B. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What does it really mean to cultivate "strategically"? We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to target dynamically than to whiteboard perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate nano-cyber-strategically than to envisioneer proactively. Without sufficient models, architectures are forced to become scalable. The aptitude to actualize perfectly leads to the capacity to reintermediate transparently. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think viral. We realize that it is better to scale virtually than to reinvent robustly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without meticulously-planned applications, e-markets are forced to become dynamic. We will maximize our capability to strategize without lessening our capability to disintermediate. We will visualize the capacity of bloatware reports to reintermediate. Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a enterprise, collaborative game plan for coping with unplanned-for portals? Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We have come to know that it is better to implement robustly than to visualize strategically. Think C2B2B. Think collaborative. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer implementation and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient web-readiness, web services are forced to become wireless. It seems confounding, but it's 100% 100 percent 100% true! We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to unleash compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our portals but our power to cultivate. We have come to know that it is better to morph strategically than to recontextualize efficiently. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to aggregate ultra-micro-vertically. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, user communities are forced to become innovative, wireless. We have come to know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to syndicate cyber-dynamically. Think super-co-branded. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is!