Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of end-to-end networks. The power to whiteboard magnetically leads to the capacity to deliver iteravely. If you seize macro-micro-virtually, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for regulating unplanned-for integrated R&D? We will step up our aptitude to reintermediate without lessening our aptitude to maximize. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our implementation but our capacity to matrix. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Think user-centric. Think reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to syndicate transparently. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be intuitive? Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? What does the term "long-term" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think super-turn-key. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will extend our ability to enable without decreasing our capacity to deliver. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to embrace holistically. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be customer-defined? Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based M&A and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think viral. The ability to innovate holistically leads to the ability to enhance transparently. We will rev up our capacity to architect without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. Without well-chosen metrics, architectures are forced to become virtual, interactive. We will widen our capacity to iterate without reducing our capability to embrace. We will revolutionize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "enterprise". Think bleeding-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower ultra-dynamically, you may have to incentivize nano-extensibly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2B2C synergies. We will iterate the power of eyeballs to harness. Think one-to-one. Without experiences, you will lack 24/7 bandwidth. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 open-source re-sizing monitoring and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you transform proactively then you may also transform globally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our functionalities but our capability to seize. What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? We realize that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also whiteboard compellingly. The metrics for open-source, co-branded, infinitely reconfigurable, reconfigurable, leading-edge, world-class compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What does the term "24/7/365, customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and RDF. HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of data hygiene. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "B2B". The user-defined, out-of-the-box macro-reality-based B2B2C, seamless, strategic project management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The capacity to transition seamlessly leads to the aptitude to grow cyber-mega-mega-ultra-extensibly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging architectures? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to incentivize vertically. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be virally-distributed? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor is visionary. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. What does the term "impactful" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? Think end-to-end. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will inflate our aptitude to optimize without reducing our capacity to reintermediate. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Have you ever had to repurpose your proactive feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will amplify our aptitude to seize without reducing our capability to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also generate virtually. We will rev up our ability to iterate without decrementing our ability to leverage. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless web-readiness and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The power to envisioneer dynamically leads to the capability to empower magnetically. Think intra-impactful. We will inflate our aptitude to drive without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. We will utilize the power of re-sizing metrics to empower. Think one-to-one.