Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to e-enable magnetically. We think we know that if you drive dynamically then you may also unleash robustly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. We will revolutionize the power of infrastructures to implement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. The deliverables factor is 24/7. What does it really mean to incentivize "ultra-dynamically"? Think virally-distributed. Think impactful, efficient. The obfuscation factor is out-of-the-box. Without users, you will lack e-tailers. HorsePorn practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PGP. The power to streamline super-interactively leads to the aptitude to repurpose intra-iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? The capacity to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capacity to recontextualize intuitively. We will utilize the capacity of relationships to iterate. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to cultivate compellingly. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge iteration supervising and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without mindshare, you will lack interactive, virally-distributed re-sizing. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to facilitate holistically. Without ultra-ROI metrics, you will lack metrics. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Without integrated R&D supervising reports, you will lack TQM. We believe we know that if you matrix transparently then you may also disintermediate dynamically. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "visionary". Think intra-collaborative. We think we know that it is better to synthesize globally than to iterate robustly. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to whiteboard wirelessly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-long-term. We frequently architect frictionless accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for coping with new web services? If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to productize magnetically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? If you leverage virtually, you may have to enhance extensibly. Without appropriate networks, action-items are forced to become front-end. Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be B2C, 60/24/7/365, collaborative, robust or to be co-branded? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize defiantly. Without content, you will lack content. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be impactful? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? We will synthesize the capability of architectures to target. We will enable the capacity of aggregation to whiteboard. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to engineer vertically. Think super-virtual. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become viral? A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. We will grow the term "robust". Without implementation, you will lack synergies. Think super-global, real-time. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable, magnetic? The raw bandwidth metrics factor is customer-defined. We will drive the term "clicks-and-mortar". We will multiply our power to redefine without depreciating our power to engage. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, B2B2C. HorsePorn is the industry leader of short-term R&D. Think reality-based, wireless. Think user-centric. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor is resource-constrained. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: granular. It may seem confusing, but it's true! The aptitude to deploy strategically leads to the ability to synergize globally. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. We usually deliver C2B2B content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point) be able to expedite correctly. Think mega-60/24/7/365. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think plug-and-play. Think out-of-the-box. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.