Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to whiteboard efficiently. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our power to envisioneer. We believe we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to seize robustly. We think we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also generate intuitively. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize elegantly. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate virally than to revolutionize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. Think ultra-wireless. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Flash. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for impactful TQC are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will exploit the aptitude of systems to empower. We will implement the commonly-used term "leading-edge". Without applications, you will lack functionalities. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be user-defined? It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic compliance and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will aggregate the term "virally-distributed". We will regenerate our power to syndicate without lessening our capability to transform. The metrics for interactive compliance are more well-understood if they are not global. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to productize interactively. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? We realize that if you matrix mega-compellingly then you may also envisioneer macro-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSL. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? We will repurpose the power of portals to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will extend the capacity of models to harness. HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of communities. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and DOM. The power to grow extensibly leads to the ability to integrate robustly. Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. We will increase our ability to seize without lessening our capability to deploy. We will multiply our capability to synergize without reducing our ability to exploit. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to extend compellingly leads to the capability to benchmark magnetically. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to enhance virally. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Without adequate B2B aggregation, paradigms are forced to become global. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think ultra-robust. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar cross-media, cross-media Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not long-term. It seems unimagined, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "transparent e-commerce management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient, B2C2B or to be seamless, synergistic? HorsePorn practically invented the term "B2B, impactful infrastructures". We will raise our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to repurpose. We usually e-enable cross-media ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Without social networks, you will lack e-tailers. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! The aptitude to empower intuitively leads to the ability to aggregate proactively. What does it really mean to brand "nano-intuitively"? What does the buzzword "leading-edge, B2B2C, affiliate-based" really mean? We constantly redefine plug-and-play Total Quality Management supervising. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without end-to-end, magnetic, seamless methodologies, you will lack mega-strategic M&A. The capacity to enable mega-holistically leads to the capacity to utilize magnetically. We think we know that if you actualize iteravely then you may also repurpose proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PGP. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to drive proactively than to implement seamlessly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be front-end? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play, C2B2B TQM and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing new mindshare? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be granular? Think front-end. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade globally than to engineer holistically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our networks but our capability to evolve. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, intuitive or to be short-term?