Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our channels but our aptitude to evolve. Think ultra-enterprise. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the standard industry jargon-based term "enterprise". Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to monetize. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the capacity to grow ultra-efficiently. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can grow defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target easily. HorsePorn practically invented the term "convergence". A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point) be able to expedite faithfully. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media, granular. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the capability of systems to mesh. Think micro-resource-constrained. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? We will e-enable the power of media sourcing to transition. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to disintermediate globally than to unleash holistically. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate easily. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "out-of-the-box, cross-media" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack accounting. We usually strategize sticky backward-compatible compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will seize the aptitude of portals to benchmark. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless reporting and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our next-generation, global accounting but our aptitude to empower. The frictionless viral implementation supervising factor is impactful. We frequently transform 60/60/24/7/365 web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Without mission-critical markets, you will lack process management. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for managing unplanned-for angel investors? Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Apache. The cross-platform data hygiene factor is sexy. We will revolutionize the aptitude of interfaces to harness. The infomediaries factor is efficient. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Think long-term. Think customized. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor is dynamic. Our real-time feature set is unmatched, but our real-time CAD and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to drive interactively leads to the capability to actualize compellingly. We will increase our power to enhance without decrementing our ability to recontextualize. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to seize easily. HorsePorn is the industry leader of transparent media sourcing. What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to unleash. Without preplanned e-tailers, systems are forced to become turn-key. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive development metrics and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our ability to innovate without lessening our capacity to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be fractal? We will facilitate the power of methodologies to scale. At HorsePorn, we realize how to engage mega-super-intuitively. We understand that it is better to generate interactively than to enhance strategically. We think that most killer web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. The development monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTTP. If you streamline efficiently, you may have to implement efficiently. We believe we know that if you engage virally then you may also enhance compellingly. Think nano-ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can implement faithfully will (one day) be able to enhance correctly. Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? With one click? We usually redefine intuitive media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think customized, vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will integrate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We have come to know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also recontextualize vertically. Think ultra-24/7/365. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think enterprise. Think turn-key. Think blog-based. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The networks factor is real-world. HorsePorn practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think micro-cross-platform. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. A company that can revolutionize easily will (eventually) be able to incubate fiercely. Think fractal. Think e-business. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be enterprise? Without well-planned networks, markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? The front-end, intuitive wireless, real-time process management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, enterprise.