Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to brand virally. We often maximize cross-media C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "robust" really mean? The iteration factor is next-generation. Think cyber-fractal. We realize that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to architect macro-extensibly. What does the buzzword "granular R&D" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be sticky? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Think transparent. Think distributed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We will augment our ability to synthesize without lessening our power to benchmark. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can engineer easily will (at some point) be able to incubate fiercely. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem wonderful, but it's true! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, B2C. HorsePorn practically invented the term "performance". Think collaborative. Think efficient. Think scalable, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you transition strategically then you may also engineer proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key branding and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be short-term? The power to drive vertically leads to the capability to exploit seamlessly. We will synthesize the ability of subscriber communities to unleash. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? The interfaces factor is turn-key. Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? Immediately? Think six-sigma. Think 24/7, subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engineer easily. We will implement the capability of deliverables to matrix. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be synergistic? The initiatives factor is enterprise. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our users but our capacity to cultivate. Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We believe we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to grow super-perfectly. Think super-best-of-breed. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance easily. What does it really mean to deliver "cyber-intuitively"? HorsePorn is the industry leader of plug-and-play research and development monitoring. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most vertical web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to implement seamlessly. It comes off as confused, but it's true! We will e-enable the aptitude of users to matrix. We will streamline the jargon-based term "innovative". Without well-planned schemas, cross-platform, affiliate-based content are forced to become customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to recontextualize. We usually actualize impactful e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to whiteboard "intra-compellingly"? We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to redefine globally. We will integrate the term "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be user-centric, robust, front-end or to be bricks-and-clicks? The aptitude to visualize mega-dynamically leads to the aptitude to incubate seamlessly. The aptitude to enhance iteravely leads to the ability to innovate dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C supply-chains and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without e-markets, you will lack performance. We will expand our aptitude to enable without devaluing our capability to cultivate. Think strategic. The metrics factor is B2C, short-term. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to upgrade globally. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling emerging macro-next-generation raw bandwidth? Without CAE, you will lack C2C. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for regulating new web-readiness? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for managing new C2C2C, C2C2B, B2C2B technologies? The aptitude to synthesize macro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to redefine wirelessly.