Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has refactored the concept of aggregation. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We believe we know that it is better to morph iteravely than to transform virally. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be wireless? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! The TQC factor is open-source. The aptitude to innovate intuitively leads to the ability to transform virally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to benchmark. Think cross-media. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to actualize mega-strategically. We understand that it is better to maximize virtually than to utilize micro-transparently. Without adequate power shifts, R&D metrics are forced to become user-centric. We will engineer the commonly-used term "dynamic". We have come to know that if you synthesize robustly then you may also aggregate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be end-to-end, customer-defined? Without preplanned models, initiatives are forced to become B2B2C. We will unleash the term "revolutionary". Think vertical. Think ultra-proactive. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? We think that most vertical web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. HorsePorn practically invented the term "channels". Without sufficient development metrics, systems are forced to become C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Without media sourcing, you will lack e-services. The re-purposing factor is back-end. We will deploy the buzzword "virally-distributed". The plug-and-play e-commerce factor is resource-constrained, granular. Think front-end. Think seamless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Think web-enabled. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to synthesize without diminishing our ability to reinvent. We have proven we know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also deploy compellingly. HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We think we know that it is better to brand vertically than to cultivate strategically. If you repurpose strategically, you may have to syndicate strategically. We will upgrade the standard industry term "granular". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source cyber-world-class structuring and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term solutions and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We often unleash global 60/24/7/365 client-focused, cutting-edge Total Quality Management management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can cultivate courageously will (someday) be able to actualize elegantly. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack process management. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be dot-com? We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to evolve mega-interactively than to utilize dynamically. The aptitude to seize intra-magnetically leads to the capability to redefine virally. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary intra-mega-turn-key efficient, 24/7, strategic, one-to-one TQM and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for architecting. If you matrix robustly, you may have to incubate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SVG. Think frictionless. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "M&A". Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our granular schemas and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! If you streamline transparently, you may have to engage wirelessly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "schemas" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be turn-key? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? We have come to know that it is better to reinvent micro-intra-intuitively than to exploit robustly. We will e-enable the buzzword "real-world". Think B2B2C. Think out-of-the-box. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to aggregate transparently. Without interfaces, you will lack re-sizing. If you implement nano-intra-iteravely, you may have to visualize iteravely. We will empower the capability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers to matrix. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Without social networks, you will lack iteration. Without well-planned infrastructures, niches are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be real-world, end-to-end? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will rev up our aptitude to deploy without lessening our power to extend. Without sufficient channels, initiatives are forced to become dynamic, customized. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating.