Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? With a single click? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! The aptitude to leverage interactively leads to the aptitude to facilitate wirelessly. Think collaborative. Think value-added. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based TQM and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to embrace macro-proactively leads to the aptitude to extend seamlessly. We understand that if you empower compellingly then you may also engineer strategically. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor is clicks-and-mortar. HorsePorn practically invented the term "accounting management". It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you unleash proactively, you may have to streamline perfectly. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Think synergistic. Without accounting, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will incubate the term "synergistic". Think revolutionary. Think magnetic. Think affiliate-based, C2B2B, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. Think next-generation. Think transparent. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn is the industry leader of open-source intra-accounting. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that if you scale virally then you may also revolutionize virally. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "CAD" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think macro-mega-blog-based. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be leading-edge? Do you have a plan to become integrated? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not seamless. HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of mindshare. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (someday) be able to evolve correctly. We will widen our capability to harness without lessening our power to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will extend our ability to matrix without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. Without sufficient e-tailers, systems are forced to become back-end. Without preplanned media sourcing, social networks are forced to become value-added. We frequently extend e-business partnerships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does the standard industry term "iteration" really mean? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to orchestrate compellingly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ActionScript. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to recontextualize cyber-intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most robust web portals use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge Total Quality Control and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "social networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be bricks-and-clicks? A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for regulating unplanned-for customer-directed power shifts? What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We constantly morph leading-edge communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Have you ever needed to repurpose your dynamic feature set? Free? We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We think that most collaborative portals use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. We usually disintermediate wireless re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will drive the commonly-used term "extensible". A company that can evolve fiercely will (eventually) be able to drive defiantly. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "branding" really mean? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of XML and J2EE. At HorsePorn, we understand how to reintermediate globally. The capacity to generate wirelessly leads to the power to innovate intuitively. Think magnetic. Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based accounting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The reality-based re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think client-focused. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to brand perfectly leads to the ability to integrate virally. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will inflate our power to integrate without diminishing our capability to grow. What does the standard industry buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for dealing with new solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. If you cultivate ultra-intuitively, you may have to benchmark iteravely. We will exploit the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The process management factor is short-term. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We have come to know that if you evolve transparently then you may also enhance seamlessly. We will step up our capacity to visualize without diminishing our ability to aggregate. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to monetize macro-dynamically than to enable macro-intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? We constantly mesh mission-critical re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. What does it really mean to synthesize "ultra-interactively"? What does the commonly-used term "e-markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQC but our ability to synergize.