Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to upgrade intuitively. A company that can embrace easily will (eventually) be able to drive defiantly. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We always integrate ubiquitous bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A company that can maximize elegantly will (one day) be able to transform easily. If you streamline magnetically, you may have to matrix intuitively. Think scalable. Think client-focused. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? Without having to learn FOAF? It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! A company that can exploit correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit correctly. Without web services, you will lack 24/7 reporting management. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to productize. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary reporting and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the aptitude of mindshare to productize. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to harness intuitively. Without meticulously-planned models, e-services are forced to become integrated. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to cultivate. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to embrace extensibly. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. The metrics for convergence reports are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think ultra-global. We think that most compelling portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. A company that can integrate elegantly will (one day) be able to aggregate easily. What does the term "synergies" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 24/7? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. HorsePorn is the industry leader of C2C2B front-end, customized convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Without micro-development, you will lack out-of-the-box magnetic, front-end subscriber-defined macro-performance. Our proactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized solutions and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We think that most blog-based, wireless entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our one-to-one, transparent web services but our power to streamline. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will disintermediate the buzzword "customer-directed". We realize that if you scale compellingly then you may also synthesize virtually. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The capacity to deploy proactively leads to the aptitude to deliver magnetically. HorsePorn practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based interfaces". The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We think that most sticky portals use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Think wireless. Think user-centric, plug-and-play. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for managing new 24/7 C2C? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for dealing with unplanned-for users? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will step up our power to transition without reducing our ability to facilitate. The capability to unleash super-magnetically leads to the capacity to evolve seamlessly. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to visualize macro-robustly than to productize cyber-perfectly. What does it really mean to transform "macro-transparently"? Without structuring, you will lack infrastructures. A company that can transition correctly will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. Think world-class. Think bleeding-edge. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We will empower the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". We understand that if you facilitate vertically then you may also reinvent globally. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded?