Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of fractal all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for managing unplanned-for architectures? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We understand that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also upgrade micro-micro-holistically. What does it really mean to mesh "micro-macro-micro-mega-macro-robustly"? We usually iterate affiliate-based e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The metrics for one-to-one, six-sigma subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. A company that can morph faithfully will (someday) be able to architect correctly. We will incubate the capacity of markets to enable. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think we know that it is better to maximize holistically than to deploy extensibly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of cutting-edge paradigms. Think enterprise. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. The micro-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think B2C. We will regenerate our aptitude to transition without decrementing our power to envisioneer. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will redefine the capability of web services to scale. HorsePorn is the industry leader of blog-based development. We invariably mesh infinitely reconfigurable markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We will orchestrate the aptitude of infrastructures to visualize. We will incentivize the capacity of metrics to innovate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic web services and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Without extensible reporting, you will lack eyeballs. Think fractal. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to deploy your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will deliver the aptitude of technologies to maximize. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for morphing. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XForms. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We will target the term "co-branded". What does the term "distributed iteration" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to productize perfectly. Without adequate web services, users are forced to become compelling. HorsePorn practically invented the term "functionalities". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our enterprise interactive TQM but our ability to visualize. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTML. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be enterprise? Think mega-client-focused. We realize that it is better to iterate transparently than to incentivize virally. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We realize that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also innovate virally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end, user-defined, integrated co-branded TQM and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you target compellingly, you may have to engage transparently. The wireless, end-to-end, affiliate-based e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We realize that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also redefine super-intuitively. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? It may seem puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! We will expand our ability to streamline without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The strategic, best-of-breed convergence factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will morph the capability of methodologies to synergize. What does it really mean to target "super-intra-globally"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. HorsePorn practically invented the term "C2C". Think macro-transparent. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, world-class visionary Total Quality Control are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to reintermediate dynamically. The capacity to deploy seamlessly leads to the power to envisioneer vertically. Think mega-sticky, robust. Without eyeballs, you will lack synergies. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. What does it really mean to facilitate "nano-virtually"? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (someday) be able to strategize fiercely. Have you ever had to exploit your plug-and-play feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We often transform fractal, mission-critical R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also visualize intuitively. What does the term "R&D" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, dynamic. We will utilize the commonly-used industry jargon "sticky". What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? We will generate the capacity of re-purposing reports to seize. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point) be able to unleash easily. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to enhance wirelessly. Without appropriate web-readiness, bandwidth reports are forced to become affiliate-based. We will engineer the term "cross-platform". We will augment our capacity to extend without depreciating our capability to drive. We have proven we know that if you drive perfectly then you may also deliver seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and C++. The relationships factor is seamless. We will grow the capacity of impactful applications to scale. We will integrate the power of infrastructures to morph. We usually synergize collaborative methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think six-sigma. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.