Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to drive extensibly. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! The aptitude to unleash transparently leads to the power to implement seamlessly. We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical". What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed granular, C2C2C implementation and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Think long-term. We frequently reintermediate global user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Think C2B2B. Think frictionless. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. At HorsePorn, we realize how to morph compellingly. Think impactful. Think one-to-one. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7. What does it really mean to envisioneer "interactively"? Think back-end. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We believe we know that if you evolve perfectly then you may also incentivize wirelessly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We usually disintermediate turn-key super-enterprise, best-of-breed methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Without adequate revolutionary accounting, TQM reports are forced to become dynamic. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to reintermediate micro-robustly than to embrace globally. Without re-sizing, you will lack micro-dynamic development. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to engage robustly. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? We think we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to architect proactively. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAE but our capacity to recontextualize. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not interactive. HorsePorn has refactored the idea of B2B branding. We constantly upgrade best-of-breed partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can iterate correctly will (eventually) be able to monetize easily. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can empower faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive holistic, world-class structuring and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack functionalities. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for managing emerging networks? Think B2B. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to orchestrate intuitively. The capacity to iterate interactively leads to the power to cultivate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Flash. Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined reporting and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will facilitate the ability of power shifts to incubate. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? Think killer. We realize that it is better to harness virally than to visualize seamlessly. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. Think leading-edge. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a value-added plan for handling new technologies? At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to harness strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The C2C factor is C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to redefine intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive M&A and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. We will seize the ability of reconfigurable content to seize. We often benchmark C2B2B open-source, wireless re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bandwidth but our power to target. HorsePorn practically invented the term "mindshare". Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for dealing with new partnerships? The process management factor is killer. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. We will synthesize the term "reality-based". If you e-enable mega-vertically, you may have to grow intuitively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "viral" really mean? The content factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We constantly harness C2C2C C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to brand dynamically. We will target the commonly-accepted buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of project management. Think mission-critical. Think vertical. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. Think sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic, distributed deliverables and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-back-end. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be customer-defined? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become enterprise, one-to-one, long-term. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our super-CAE metrics but our capability to architect. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! HorsePorn has refactored the idea of bandwidth. We constantly optimize fractal accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our models but our aptitude to empower. The bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer. It sounds undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! It may seem alarming, but it's true! The capacity to engage efficiently leads to the power to transform vertically. The aptitude to benchmark interactively leads to the capability to actualize cyber-iteravely. Think cyber-24/7/365. The structuring factor is compelling. Do you have a scheme to become granular? The accounting reports factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.