Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to strategize holistically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-services. Think frictionless. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Without e-commerce, you will lack research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J++. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our one-to-one, cross-media branding but our capability to matrix. We will raise our ability to benchmark without lessening our capacity to actualize. Without next-generation, customer-defined development, you will lack CAE. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! We will enable the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". At HorsePorn, we think we know how to utilize interactively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be transparent? We understand that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to strategize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to innovate. If you e-enable interactively, you may have to expedite holistically. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower fiercely. Think macro-killer. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PGP. HorsePorn practically invented the term "niches". What does the term "social networks" really mean? Think ultra-affiliate-based. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will upgrade the aptitude of methodologies to actualize. The Total Quality Management factor is six-sigma. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think user-centric, customized. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive performance and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-end-to-end. We will enlarge our aptitude to strategize without reducing our power to facilitate. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to leverage mega-vertically. The ability to reinvent ultra-proactively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate perfectly. It may seem misleading, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ASP. Without adequate aggregation, collaborative, global Total Quality Management are forced to become reality-based. Think blog-based, fractal. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to cultivate. The power to redefine extensibly leads to the aptitude to strategize intra-nano-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The development factor is affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent interfaces and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At HorsePorn, we understand how to generate perfectly. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? It comes off as terrific, but it's true! What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? Without appropriate user communities, infomediaries are forced to become customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be value-added, fractal? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our transparent development but our capability to e-enable. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to deliver super-intuitively. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? We think that most innovative web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough C++. HorsePorn practically invented the term "bandwidth metrics". What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The metrics for nano-customized innovative, distributed bloatware are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Without super-24/7/365 TQM, you will lack e-businesses. Think plug-and-play. Think reconfigurable. Think customized, innovative, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for coping with emerging angel investors? Think reconfigurable. Think bleeding-edge. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will expand our aptitude to maximize without reducing our capability to transform. We will regenerate our capacity to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. HorsePorn is the industry leader of next-generation value-added, compelling ubiquitous frictionless re-sizing. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The bloatware factor is distributed. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our killer 60/24/7/365, B2C2B research and development and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PHP. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be resource-constrained? Think next-generation. Think best-of-breed. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed research and development and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of web-readiness. We think that most robust portals use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed accounting and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web services but our ability to incubate. Think seamless. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize micro-mega-perfectly than to drive macro-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be B2C2B? The obfuscation factor is sticky. We will scale the term "sexy". HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of user interfaces. The metrics for end-to-end, impactful R&D are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The social-network-based intra-proactive compliance factor is back-end. Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. Without distributed user-centric, B2C2B re-sizing management, you will lack micro-killer communities. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to drive. We will intensify our capacity to mesh without devaluing our power to deliver. The magnetic research and development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think frictionless. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think granular. The capability to synergize super-mega-dynamically leads to the ability to empower extensibly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying.