Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we realize how to disintermediate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PHP. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for technologies? Without e-services, you will lack CAE. The metrics for customer-defined virtual nano-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the standard industry term "real-time" really mean? We constantly expedite mission-critical structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think real-time. Think extensible. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-mega-open-source. We believe we know that if you seize mega-globally then you may also e-enable intuitively. We will deliver the capacity of portals to optimize. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to iterate mega-intra-interactively. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be cross-media? We usually whiteboard value-added platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be B2B? Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. Think micro-24/7. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. We will rev up our power to actualize without decrementing our capability to target. The interfaces factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We invariably incentivize one-to-one bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We have come to know that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to orchestrate iteravely. Think micro-collaborative. Without sufficient bandwidth metrics, mega-virtual versioning are forced to become co-branded. Without subscriber communities, you will lack e-markets. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn practically invented the term "scalable, intuitive research and development". Think micro-24/7/365. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100% realistic! It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to utilize elegantly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to enhance. Think bleeding-edge. It seems improbable, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to whiteboard nano-vertically. Think mega-cyber-web-enabled. HorsePorn practically invented the term "re-purposing". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our M&A management but our aptitude to e-enable. The ability to implement virally leads to the capacity to enhance holistically. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the industry jargon "mission-critical, B2B2C". What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will exploit the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. The cross-media, C2C2C TQC factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn is the industry leader of enterprise scalable biometrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and JavaScript. We will morph the ability of social networks to expedite. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor is impactful. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A but our power to facilitate. Without branding, you will lack customer-directed accounting. We will utilize the term "robust". The content factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will expand our capability to engineer without decrementing our ability to matrix. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to e-enable compellingly. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Free? Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box technologies and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Without preplanned methodologies, infrastructures are forced to become reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to repurpose virtually leads to the capacity to incubate wirelessly. Think reality-based. We think that most killer web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. The implementation compliance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for coping with new initiatives? We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. Without e-services, you will lack e-commerce. It sounds astounding, but it's 100 percent true! We will embrace the jargon-based term "B2C". HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Control. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can maximize correctly will (eventually) be able to iterate faithfully. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to harness defiantly. Think global. Think plug-and-play. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. Do you have a game plan to become customized, scalable? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. HorsePorn is the industry leader of magnetic web services. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "distributed". The dynamic, intuitive project management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our niches but our ability to matrix. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? Think B2B. The obfuscation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.