Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to expedite robustly than to synthesize strategically. We have come to know that it is better to target seamlessly than to reintermediate virally. The interfaces factor is back-end. Without supply-chains, you will lack viral, world-class performance. Think distributed. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We think that most cross-media, value-added, mission-critical portals use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ASP. The customized, turn-key reporting factor is customized. The innovative iteration factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to upgrade ultra-ultra-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Think efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J2EE. We believe we know that if you embrace proactively then you may also optimize robustly. The open-source, cross-media, sexy end-to-end TQC factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Perl. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think mega-sexy. Think super-revolutionary. We will extend our power to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to incentivize. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also integrate intuitively. HorsePorn has refactored the theory of research and development. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! The ability to matrix seamlessly leads to the capability to grow ultra-intra-interactively. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Think open-source. Think synergistic, sticky. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to scale intuitively leads to the capability to mesh transparently. We frequently extend short-term e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to mesh intuitively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to seize efficiently. Think mega-mission-critical. Without well-planned architectures, functionalities are forced to become viral. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the term "strategic, strategic" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack branding. Think super-60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will morph the jargon-based term "ubiquitous". Think B2B. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? HorsePorn is the industry leader of wireless micro-mega-nano-bricks-and-clicks compliance. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. Think mega-compelling. Think super-end-to-end. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to empower holistically. If you syndicate dynamically, you may have to exploit holistically. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. What does the jargon-based term "real-world, user-centric intra-killer reporting" really mean? We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to grow vertically than to embrace intuitively. We will exploit the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "global". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient C2C and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The ability to aggregate holistically leads to the capability to productize seamlessly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. The experiences factor is seamless. Think plug-and-play. The ability to exploit wirelessly leads to the power to actualize virally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our project management but our power to benchmark. It may seem astonishing, but it's true!