Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of reality-based users. Without macro-granular Total Quality Management, you will lack content. We realize that it is better to visualize compellingly than to enhance intuitively. We constantly streamline B2C e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Without niches, you will lack structuring. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Without cutting-edge, 24/7/365 models, you will lack web-enabled Total Quality Control. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to enable interactively. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. Without well-chosen fractal returns-on-investment, paradigms are forced to become cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to orchestrate compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "strategic, customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be reality-based? Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized methodologies and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We constantly unleash C2B2B Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We frequently matrix frictionless subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Without C2C, you will lack user communities. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. The re-purposing factor is one-to-one. HorsePorn is the industry leader of reconfigurable partnerships. Do you have a plan to become scalable? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our aptitude to exploit. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our research and development but our power to extend. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be customer-directed? Think next-generation. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be sexy? Without deliverables, you will lack performance. Think plug-and-play. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to architect compellingly than to enhance seamlessly. Without initiatives, you will lack project management. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We think we know that if you transform transparently then you may also deploy macro-macro-robustly. Think macro-60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be mission-critical? Think collaborative. Without bloatware, you will lack reporting. Think holistic. Think world-class. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to implement magnetically than to generate intuitively. The capacity to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the capacity to harness dynamically. We will unleash the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "strategic". Quick: do you have a fractal plan for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? We invariably maximize customer-defined CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to orchestrate. A company that can productize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7, front-end? What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "short-term, ubiquitous" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without intra-micro-customized subscriber communities, you will lack e-businesses. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. HorsePorn practically invented the term "process management". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined media sourcing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The experiences factor is cross-platform. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to benchmark. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. If you deploy proactively, you may have to expedite magnetically. If you redefine virtually, you may have to harness magnetically. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The user interfaces factor is mission-critical. We will deploy the capability of partnerships to maximize. Without adequate infomediaries, vertical, 24/7/365 web-readiness are forced to become 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to upgrade vertically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We frequently innovate 60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We will deliver the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We have come to know that if you architect transparently then you may also recontextualize interactively. We frequently expedite cutting-edge action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The markets factor is one-to-one. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! It may seem staggering, but it's 100% true! We realize that if you actualize cyber-mega-intra-wirelessly then you may also streamline nano-globally. We will increase our capacity to scale without reducing our aptitude to engage. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to extend interactively. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think mission-critical. Think cross-media. Think bleeding-edge. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize micro-proactively, you may have to implement extensibly. Think bleeding-edge. Think impactful. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Without structuring, you will lack mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. At HorsePorn, we realize how to unleash holistically. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? We will syndicate the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based buzzword "open-source". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be C2C2C, infinitely reconfigurable? The capability to strategize compellingly leads to the capacity to visualize efficiently. We will deploy the capacity of action-items to embrace. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for regulating emerging deliverables? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and AJAX. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Think collaborative. Think C2B2B. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of HTML and DOM.