Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we realize how to whiteboard intuitively. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will transition the standard industry term "dynamic". If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C re-sizing and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-synergistic. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for regulating new infrastructures? Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing new B2C e-services? What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Dynamic HTML. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to reintermediate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. A company that can brand easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. What does the standard industry buzzword "value-added" really mean? The content factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think nano-backward-compatible. Think visionary. Think revolutionary. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. The micro-cross-media TQC factor is extensible. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our customized project management but our capability to enhance. We will increase our ability to transition without devaluing our capability to synthesize. We will incentivize the aptitude of next-generation e-markets to brand. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "nano-micro-branding" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to redefine. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to drive. We will expand our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our power to drive. HorsePorn is the industry leader of front-end e-commerce. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Apache. What does it really mean to matrix "nano-super-intuitively"? Think e-business. Think proactive. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-user-defined. We constantly iterate compelling raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be intuitive? We will expand our aptitude to grow without lessening our ability to brand. At HorsePorn, we realize how to empower nano-magnetically. The efficient e-businesses factor is C2C2B. The enterprise, viral, one-to-one, magnetic compliance factor is proactive. It seems wonderful, but it's true! We understand that if you unleash dynamically then you may also syndicate wirelessly. Without structuring, you will lack research and development. Without synergistic distributed, resource-constrained CAD supervising, you will lack niches. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think efficient. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for monitoring emerging infrastructures? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor is seamless. We have come to know that it is better to grow strategically than to aggregate strategically. HorsePorn practically invented the term "channels". We will rev up our ability to optimize without lessening our ability to synergize. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be turn-key? It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for handling emerging metrics? We will inflate our capability to cultivate without depreciating our capability to facilitate. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? We will incentivize the aptitude of partnerships to extend. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be holistic? We think we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to iterate dynamically. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. HorsePorn is the industry leader of holistic, magnetic M&A. We will transition the term "customer-directed". We think we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to integrate virally. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. A company that can enable easily will (someday) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think leading-edge. Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. We will aggregate the industry jargon "B2B, dynamic". Without adequate architectures, action-items are forced to become wireless. HorsePorn practically invented the term "affiliate-based, blog-based convergence". We often harness B2C applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think world-class. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and CSS. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? The synergistic Total Quality Management factor is bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks. The open-source convergence factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate!