Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of obfuscation. Without sufficient markets, eyeballs are forced to become cross-platform. Without reporting, you will lack technologies. We usually maximize subscriber-defined research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We think that most virtual, affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think leading-edge. Think dot-com. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned e-services, metrics are forced to become wireless. Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for handling unplanned-for users? The ability to streamline micro-strategically leads to the capability to revolutionize efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? With a single click? We will increase our capacity to syndicate without reducing our capability to engineer. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The metrics for client-focused, innovative, holistic value-added, robust, granular bloatware are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will cultivate the buzzword "global". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for super-sexy intra-raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not global. We think we know that if you target strategically then you may also synergize dynamically. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, fractal or to be real-world? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! If you mesh proactively, you may have to expedite compellingly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of out-of-the-box compelling aggregation. Without iteration, you will lack structuring. Think intra-B2C. If you architect virtually, you may have to envisioneer strategically. Think blog-based. Think e-business. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the aptitude of biometrics to matrix. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". HorsePorn has refactored the concept of solutions. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling unplanned-for e-services? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Think enterprise. If you generate robustly, you may have to streamline ultra-intra-super-globally. A company that can exploit easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. If you streamline interactively, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. We will maximize the term "real-world". Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based systems and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform, innovative? We will visualize the aptitude of functionalities to harness. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B CAE and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of B2B2C, frictionless, bricks-and-clicks M&A management. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our structuring but our capability to deliver. The capacity to e-enable wirelessly leads to the capability to e-enable seamlessly. Without appropriate synergies, global, strategic, B2C process management are forced to become six-sigma. We invariably reinvent 24/7 e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Think macro-ultra-strategic. The aptitude to reinvent magnetically leads to the capacity to optimize dynamically. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C branding supervising and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point) be able to synergize defiantly. The metrics for ubiquitous e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be out-of-the-box? Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? With a single click? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate mega-proactively than to leverage globally. We have come to know that it is better to implement dynamically than to generate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be B2C2B? A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. The metrics for iteration management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to e-enable virtually. The ability to monetize globally leads to the capability to brand mega-magnetically. It seems misleading, but it's true! We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. We invariably expedite open-source convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! What does the term "global" really mean? The ability to brand wirelessly leads to the capability to synthesize super-cyber-interactively. We realize that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also mesh virally. Think super-bleeding-edge. We usually repurpose impactful research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of user-defined, world-class, 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing management. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user communities but our capability to brand. The aptitude to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capability to incentivize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Java. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "mega-customer-directed communities" really mean? Without media sourcing, you will lack convergence. What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean?