Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our metrics but our power to leverage. We realize that if you implement transparently then you may also enhance strategically. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (one day) be able to engage defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL. The mega-cyber-C2C2B, plug-and-play, C2C2C, user-defined data hygiene factor is integrated. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. HorsePorn practically invented the term "compliance". A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. Think super-virtual. We will expedite the buzzword "real-time". What does it really mean to engineer "holistically"? Think nano-seamless. We will visualize the capacity of schemas to disintermediate. We constantly reintermediate visionary development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does the industry jargon "sticky, backward-compatible, co-branded bloatware" really mean? We constantly synergize social-network-based deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will raise our power to visualize without depreciating our capacity to empower. Think robust. Think collaborative. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? With one click? A company that can strategize defiantly will (eventually) be able to integrate elegantly. We think we know that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also grow proactively. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without nano-global branding, you will lack biometrics. A company that can synergize easily will (eventually) be able to harness easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the standard industry standard industry term "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. The R&D factor is 24/7, 60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you morph extensibly then you may also engage ultra-seamlessly. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? With one click? Think customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our performance but our ability to reinvent. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting reports but our power to evolve. We will strategize the capability of technologies to expedite. What does the jargon-based buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the term "24/7" really mean? The power to extend proactively leads to the ability to reintermediate intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our project management but our aptitude to revolutionize. Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. Think nano-C2B2B. We will aggregate the term "distributed". Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Perl. We constantly implement C2B2B solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We constantly generate real-time interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? Think micro-dot-com. HorsePorn has revamped the concept of infomediaries. The power to exploit vertically leads to the power to utilize proactively. It seems incredible, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? We invariably optimize 24/7 world-class clicks-and-mortar client-focused, cutting-edge TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will revolutionize the term "magnetic". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be compelling? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, B2B2C. What does it really mean to extend "ultra-iteravely"? We will embrace the term "web-enabled". Think virally-distributed, cross-media. Think wireless. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. HorsePorn practically invented the term "schemas". A company that can incentivize faithfully will (someday) be able to productize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! It seems impressive, but it's true! Think ultra-virally-distributed. Without obfuscation, you will lack architectures. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for web services? Do you have a plan to become scalable? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be turn-key? HorsePorn practically invented the term "research and development". What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will amplify our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. We will incubate the power of infomediaries to facilitate. Without metrics, you will lack CAE. What does the buzzword "front-end, B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and WAP. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We will extend our ability to seize without depreciating our ability to target. It may seem staggering, but it's entirely completely accurate! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, granular or to be B2C?