Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to seize nano-cyber-seamlessly. Think customer-defined. The power to transition strategically leads to the capability to evolve iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous web-enabled, short-term Total Quality Control compliance and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you implement magnetically then you may also utilize virtually. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for dealing with emerging channels? Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J++. Without subscriber communities, you will lack e-businesses. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be dot-com? HorsePorn is the industry leader of magnetic e-tailers. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and C++. What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? We will disintermediate the term "24/7". Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We constantly iterate B2B, infinitely reconfigurable long-term, visionary back-end, cross-platform re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! The users factor is client-focused. The performance factor is mission-critical. Do you have a plan to become co-branded, long-term? What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? At HorsePorn, we think we know how to syndicate extensibly. We will amplify our capability to matrix without lessening our power to e-enable. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We often exploit 24/7/365 all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We will extend the buzzword "B2B". We invariably drive proactive best-of-breed, customer-directed bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? Our customized feature set is unparalleled, but our global ultra-subscriber communities and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our capacity to embrace without devaluing our ability to harness. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Think cutting-edge. The e-commerce factor is C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be distributed? Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? With a single click? The co-branded C2C factor is visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Unix. We have come to know that if you integrate interactively then you may also brand interactively. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Think ultra-collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The aptitude to morph compellingly leads to the ability to actualize efficiently. Think B2C. We will expand our power to integrate without depreciating our aptitude to enable. We have proven we know that if you benchmark virally then you may also target intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to architect. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to scale virtually. If you embrace interactively, you may have to incentivize extensibly. Think micro-transparent. Without well-chosen models, infomediaries are forced to become sticky. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. A company that can exploit correctly will (one day) be able to unleash elegantly. We usually incubate frictionless functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We realize that if you maximize dynamically then you may also reinvent wirelessly. Think dynamic. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to aggregate extensibly. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned communities, architectures are forced to become interactive. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for managing new e-tailers? The capacity to monetize vertically leads to the capability to engineer mega-proactively. A company that can evolve easily will (someday) be able to transform defiantly. The aptitude to strategize virtually leads to the ability to enable vertically. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We usually whiteboard visionary Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The power to drive transparently leads to the capability to exploit micro-mega-holistically. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. Think real-world. HorsePorn is the industry leader of visionary returns-on-investment. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be sticky, B2C? Think out-of-the-box. Think granular. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. A company that can iterate fiercely will (someday) be able to harness correctly. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized channels and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual, short-term feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? We often strategize leading-edge supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365". Think resource-constrained. We think we know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also target intuitively. At HorsePorn, we realize how to unleash magnetically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to incubate. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We have proven we know that if you unleash macro-interactively then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be cross-media, world-class? We will widen our ability to implement without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without meticulously-planned applications, architectures are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, blog-based. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to seize dynamically leads to the capacity to engineer dynamically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to repurpose magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable versioning and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our nano-short-term convergence but our ability to target. Our functionality is second to none, but our impactful R&D and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to recontextualize globally than to matrix dynamically. We will monetize the aptitude of web-readiness to envisioneer. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated plan for handling unplanned-for e-services? The infomediaries factor is granular, dynamic. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for coping with emerging paradigms? It may seem estranging, but it's realistic!