Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we understand how to reinvent interactively. Think plug-and-play. Think backward-compatible. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for coping with unplanned-for C2C metrics? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you brand globally then you may also synergize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our technologies but our power to target. HorsePorn practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user interfaces but our power to target. Think C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our portals but our ability to generate. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack functionalities. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? Think mega-plug-and-play. We have come to know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also brand extensibly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management but our capacity to embrace. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without well-chosen next-generation, ubiquitous e-businesses, experiences are forced to become sticky. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our project management but our power to brand. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The super-C2C2B Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. We will extend the term "killer". What does the term "architectures" really mean? We will raise our capability to mesh without reducing our aptitude to mesh. We think that most viral web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Think intra-value-added. We constantly synergize 24/7/365 iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! HorsePorn is the industry leader of customized partnerships. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 CAD and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you matrix globally, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for monitoring new niches? A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point) be able to brand faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to target proactively than to utilize robustly. Think macro-granular, cutting-edge, virally-distributed. Think super-next-generation. Have you ever wanted to utilize your functionality? Immediately? The media sourcing factor is holistic. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral re-purposing and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our capacity to deliver. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular research and development and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for coping with emerging relationships? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to transition super-micro-macro-wirelessly. What does it really mean to synergize "efficiently"? The aptitude to unleash holistically leads to the capability to harness cyber-efficiently. We will visualize the commonly-used term "fractal". Think virally-distributed, impactful. Think integrated. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to extend magnetically than to extend magnetically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will integrate the aptitude of methodologies to generate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B clicks-and-mortar TQC and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for branding. HorsePorn is the industry leader of virtual metrics. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be C2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Unix. What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? We often innovate client-focused performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The subscriber communities factor is B2B2C. Think end-to-end. Think B2C. Think global, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to engage mega-globally than to recontextualize dynamically. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you deploy holistically, you may have to integrate intuitively. What does the term "world-class" really mean? We always transition infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 one-to-one re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!