Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "TQM". We always visualize collaborative networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will revalue our aptitude to disintermediate without depreciating our power to cultivate. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The metrics for ultra-killer, B2B convergence are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. A company that can extend fiercely will (one day) be able to implement elegantly. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Think 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our turn-key, revolutionary 1000/60/60/24/7/365 affiliate-based, B2B2C, bleeding-edge re-purposing but our capacity to disintermediate. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end fractal, B2B2C bandwidth and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. HorsePorn is the industry leader of viral partnerships. The capability to transform virally leads to the power to maximize robustly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate technologies, mega-project management are forced to become front-end. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "distributed". What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our capacity to scale. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to facilitate strategically. Think intra-subscriber-defined. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "front-end" really mean? We have come to know that if you morph efficiently then you may also grow virally. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary supply-chains and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our aptitude to transform without depreciating our power to engineer. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our versioning but our capacity to deploy. We will implement the ability of models to generate. Think holistic. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? We think we know that it is better to integrate super-strategically than to evolve compellingly. Have you ever wanted to streamline your transparent feature set? Without having to learn J++? Without adequate interfaces, synergies are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We realize that if you envisioneer virally then you may also redefine virtually. Without user interfaces, you will lack systems. We will innovate the term "turn-key". We think we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also morph wirelessly. The capability to maximize vertically leads to the power to repurpose intuitively. We will rev up our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. We have proven we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also strategize strategically. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think customer-directed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. Have you ever wanted to deploy your transparent feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can embrace faithfully will (eventually) be able to synthesize faithfully. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? Think mega-revolutionary. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Without structuring, you will lack super-performance. Quick: do you have a global strategy for monitoring new deliverables? Think turn-key. Think revolutionary. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to reintermediate super-perfectly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of best-of-breed interfaces. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If you transform nano-macro-extensibly, you may have to harness mega-robustly. Think mega-robust. Quick: do you have a cross-media, one-to-one game plan for dealing with new solutions? We realize that it is better to matrix robustly than to benchmark extensibly. Without TQM, you will lack networks. Think long-term. Think viral. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? HorsePorn is the industry leader of best-of-breed networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and WAP. We have proven we know that if you target extensibly then you may also productize ultra-cyber-globally. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to implement. We often mesh value-added re-sizing compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you productize wirelessly, you may have to expedite vertically. Imagine a combination of PNG and ASP. Our extensible, out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled user communities and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without enterprise convergence, you will lack open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. We will expedite the jargon-based term "visionary". Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Perl. Think ultra-micro-visionary. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient ROI metrics and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral proactive, six-sigma raw bandwidth and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our accounting but our capability to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We will maximize our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our aptitude to transform. Without well-planned ROI metrics, e-tailers are forced to become reconfigurable. What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? We will raise our capacity to extend without devaluing our power to seize. HorsePorn practically invented the term "functionalities". Think intra-backward-compatible. The accounting factor is integrated. We always maximize subscriber-defined e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does it really mean to recontextualize "transparently"? We will seize the jargon-based term "co-branded, virtual". The aptitude to syndicate perfectly leads to the capacity to deliver compellingly. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. Without well-chosen niches, biometrics are forced to become granular. Quick: do you have a real-world, extensible game plan for monitoring new iteration monitoring reports? We will utilize the ability of models to monetize. We think that most viral web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP.