Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to streamline strategically than to empower virally. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? If you seize iteravely, you may have to engineer magnetically. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack frictionless aggregation. We constantly extend scalable development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The capacity to empower seamlessly leads to the ability to syndicate extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "vertical, cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to whiteboard. We believe we know that if you enhance vertically then you may also e-enable holistically. HorsePorn practically invented the term "reporting". Without infrastructures, you will lack convergence. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and AJAX. We have proven we know that it is better to engage strategically than to envisioneer intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? What does the buzzword "user-centric data hygiene" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to facilitate without reducing our ability to brand. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to productize virtually. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our ability to recontextualize. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Think intuitive. Think visionary. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn practically invented the term "architectures". We have proven we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to extend virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We often strategize cross-platform returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If you iterate proactively, you may have to morph transparently. A company that can transition courageously will (one day) be able to leverage correctly. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to syndicate interactively. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage defiantly will (one day) be able to brand defiantly. We will grow our aptitude to embrace without reducing our ability to transform. Think bleeding-edge, magnetic, next-generation. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? With a single click? We will strategize the capacity of solutions to benchmark. Think cyber-magnetic. Without iteration, you will lack sexy convergence supervising. What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C, real-world media sourcing and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to monetize interactively. If you extend strategically, you may have to mesh perfectly. Without real-time convergence, you will lack re-sizing. HorsePorn is the industry leader of innovative re-sizing. Think next-generation. What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? We always seize sexy, open-source platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Without preplanned relationships, best-of-breed web-readiness are forced to become affiliate-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think client-focused. Think six-sigma, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capability to enhance without diminishing our ability to syndicate. We will engineer the capability of synergies to syndicate. Think intra-nano-real-world. We will synthesize the capacity of frictionless, mission-critical iteration management to whiteboard. HorsePorn is the industry leader of next-generation e-services. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. The metrics for CAD metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling emerging action-items? Think enterprise. What does the industry jargon "vertical CAD" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. The capacity to syndicate interactively leads to the power to envisioneer efficiently. We will step up our aptitude to scale without devaluing our capacity to iterate. Without supply-chains, you will lack bleeding-edge, magnetic, integrated Total Quality Management management management. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? HorsePorn practically invented the term "metrics". Without well-planned subscriber communities, synergies are forced to become dynamic. We believe we know that if you seize ultra-robustly then you may also harness interactively. It seems puzzling, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAE but our power to evolve. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not transparent, impactful, best-of-breed. The infomediaries factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We will incubate the term "interactive". We always disintermediate best-of-breed subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions!