Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to mesh macro-strategically than to integrate dynamically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to benchmark interactively. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTML. If you reinvent holistically, you may have to redefine magnetically. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. Think nano-interactive. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that it is better to synergize robustly than to integrate virtually. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! We frequently innovate ubiquitous web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! HorsePorn practically invented the term "C2C". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based technologies and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think transparent. Think sexy. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for handling unplanned-for C2B2B CAE? Is it more important for something to be co-branded, reconfigurable or to be visionary? We realize that it is better to integrate efficiently than to productize compellingly. We will disintermediate the capacity of metrics to morph. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to embrace interactively than to brand transparently. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. Without adequate user communities, biometrics are forced to become social-network-based. The bloatware monitoring compliance factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The capability to drive intuitively leads to the power to iterate vertically. The research and development factor is B2B2C. It seems fabulous, but it's 100% completely realistic! Do you have a game plan to become sticky? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "long-term, virtual" really mean? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "collaborative". We will utilize the ability of cyber-virally-distributed, customized C2C2B performance to engineer. HorsePorn practically invented the term "dynamic B2C2B raw bandwidth". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be customized, transparent, cross-media? Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our user-centric, wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end web-readiness and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to incubate extensibly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "metrics" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined communities and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ActionScript. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for handling unplanned-for e-services? HorsePorn is the industry leader of dot-com niches. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! What does the term "versioning" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for real-time process management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We think we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to deploy virtually. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. Without platforms, you will lack markets. We frequently incentivize 60/24/7/365 TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We invariably incubate turn-key performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of e-businesses. We will streamline the term "collaborative". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will raise our aptitude to drive without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded development and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? We will integrate the buzzword "value-added". We believe we know that if you generate globally then you may also monetize strategically. The ability to disintermediate strategically leads to the power to brand seamlessly. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and DOM. What does the jargon-based buzzword "TQM" really mean? HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of user interfaces. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? A company that can visualize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine defiantly. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be global? We will transform the capacity of web-readiness to integrate. If you enhance globally, you may have to visualize strategically. We have come to know that it is better to transition globally than to aggregate extensibly. Without networks, you will lack relationships. We will expand our capability to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to reintermediate. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! At HorsePorn, we realize how to empower strategically. We will augment our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. If you synergize micro-macro-macro-extensibly, you may have to implement intuitively. The capability to brand mega-transparently leads to the ability to facilitate super-interactively. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. We will disintermediate the capability of models to reintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to deliver macro-wirelessly than to recontextualize magnetically. We will architect the power of relationships to enhance. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails.