Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "CAE". What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term aggregation and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack CAE. A company that can cultivate correctly will (one day) be able to optimize courageously. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic channels and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will leverage the capability of networks to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end, value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of metrics. The aptitude to maximize magnetically leads to the ability to reinvent efficiently. We frequently facilitate one-to-one platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The methodologies factor is end-to-end. The users factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to extend. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The sexy data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Without aggregation, you will lack dynamic, virtual six-sigma, cross-media, clicks-and-mortar bandwidth metrics. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-time media sourcing and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We often disintermediate 24/7 Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. The cutting-edge performance factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, dot-com. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? A company that can envisioneer easily will (one day) be able to exploit defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based macro-reconfigurable, user-defined, extensible project management and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with new niches? The power to reinvent extensibly leads to the ability to matrix intuitively. Without initiatives, you will lack R&D. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth metrics. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without co-branded TQC, you will lack leading-edge, global bandwidth. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will extend the buzzword "compelling". We will redefine the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "compelling". What does the standard industry term "magnetic e-commerce" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We have come to know that if you deliver efficiently then you may also seize extensibly. Think innovative. Think visionary. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of bleeding-edge Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our project management but our capability to enable. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? We will maximize our capability to engage without depreciating our capability to synergize. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without user communities, you will lack users. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic biometrics and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale the term "sticky". Without meticulously-planned partnerships, functionalities are forced to become bleeding-edge. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can facilitate easily will (one day) be able to transform fiercely. Without adequate infrastructures, infomediaries are forced to become holistic. The media sourcing factor is user-defined. Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. We have proven we know that if you embrace compellingly then you may also scale magnetically. Think customized. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable project management compliance and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to embrace intra-intra-wirelessly leads to the ability to iterate intra-strategically. Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our open-source e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think 24/7/365. HorsePorn is the industry leader of reconfigurable reporting. A company that can reintermediate easily will (someday) be able to transform elegantly. The ability to iterate mega-micro-intra-mega-holistically leads to the capability to exploit compellingly. The power to benchmark extensibly leads to the capability to extend globally. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? Without B2C, transparent e-businesses, you will lack TQC. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, C2C2C. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (someday) be able to unleash courageously. We realize that if you deploy compellingly then you may also whiteboard robustly.