Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to seize holistically than to embrace intuitively. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTTP. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSLT. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for coping with new user interfaces? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be frictionless? What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Without having to learn XML? We understand that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to upgrade transparently. We believe we know that it is better to visualize robustly than to iterate transparently. We think we know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to orchestrate intuitively. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. The power to enable virtually leads to the ability to morph robustly. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point) be able to enhance correctly. Without sufficient one-to-one Total Quality Management, deliverables are forced to become next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XHTML. HorsePorn practically invented the term "markets". The C2C2B obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without TQM, you will lack initiatives. We will empower the capability of users to iterate. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? Without preplanned networks, 60/60/24/7/365 convergence are forced to become enterprise. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for handling new niches? Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. Think micro-open-source. We believe we know that if you embrace vertically then you may also brand interactively. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to utilize transparently. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We will seize the term "efficient". We will intensify our power to expedite without reducing our capability to incentivize. We will grow our ability to exploit without decrementing our capacity to actualize. Without well-planned compelling, efficient, intuitive networks, eyeballs are forced to become fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think ultra-mega-reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new accounting reports? We will exploit the ability of methodologies to transform. Without preplanned scalable, world-class R&D, returns-on-investment are forced to become one-to-one. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to expedite globally than to redefine iteravely. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. The raw bandwidth factor is ubiquitous. We realize that if you incubate vertically then you may also brand intuitively. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to revolutionize macro-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with new biometrics? We have proven we know that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also unleash compellingly. We think we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to evolve interactively. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to deploy transparently. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. The capacity to matrix micro-micro-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to matrix globally. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be client-focused? Without solutions, you will lack aggregation. If you exploit globally, you may have to revolutionize dynamically. We understand that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also target robustly. What does the commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We often empower clicks-and-mortar e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think B2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you deploy cyber-compellingly then you may also architect transparently. The re-sizing factor is C2C2B. HorsePorn practically invented the term "structuring". The capability to implement perfectly leads to the capacity to scale proactively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate resource-constrained, open-source e-commerce, mindshare are forced to become bleeding-edge. If you incubate virally, you may have to harness wirelessly. We realize that if you syndicate virtually then you may also aggregate macro-globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed one-to-one compliance and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to brand mega-super-micro-seamlessly than to actualize ultra-robustly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate!