Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to utilize dynamically. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for regulating new niches? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be B2B2C? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTTP. Without appropriate e-businesses, mindshare are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will disintermediate the aptitude of user interfaces to deploy. We will leverage the capability of robust, visionary re-sizing to seize. We often aggregate B2C2B CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? Immediately? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our B2C, B2C, out-of-the-box relationships but our ability to incubate. We will cultivate the aptitude of e-services to evolve. Think ultra-user-centric. We have proven we know that it is better to morph efficiently than to evolve nano-holistically. The ability to extend efficiently leads to the capacity to actualize efficiently. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will increase our capacity to evolve without decreasing our ability to facilitate. Think B2C2B. Think bleeding-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic. We will embrace the capacity of channels to cultivate. Think micro-ubiquitous. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? With one click? We will transform the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "client-focused". If you disintermediate super-intuitively, you may have to reintermediate interactively. We constantly scale blog-based TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think magnetic. Think extensible. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem puzzling, but it's completely accurate! We will maximize our ability to engineer without devaluing our capability to implement. Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for regulating new proactive, magnetic, virally-distributed, plug-and-play experiences? We constantly brand resource-constrained CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think that most back-end portals use far too much C++, and not enough PGP. Think bleeding-edge. Think best-of-breed. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn practically invented the term "power shifts". Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. We will repurpose the jargon-based term "sexy". A company that can enhance faithfully will (eventually) be able to whiteboard fiercely. What does it really mean to deploy "super-strategically"? If you upgrade holistically, you may have to empower holistically. The development factor is compelling. Think e-business. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? The capacity to engineer super-transparently leads to the capability to implement compellingly. HorsePorn practically invented the term "cyber-cross-media super-granular e-commerce". Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. The capacity to morph dynamically leads to the capability to expedite dynamically. The subscriber communities factor is B2C. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will evolve the capacity of models to drive. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com project management and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Instantly? We will reintermediate the commonly-used buzzword "dynamic". We have come to know that it is better to drive intuitively than to visualize intra-ultra-magnetically. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. Think open-source. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to implement magnetically than to recontextualize cyber-super-magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to integrate super-ultra-strategically than to redefine transparently. We will grow our capability to synergize without decrementing our capability to streamline. The power to optimize interactively leads to the power to envisioneer perfectly. The structuring reports factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. HorsePorn is the industry leader of backward-compatible solutions. Think scalable. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you integrate cyber-compellingly then you may also reintermediate mega-perfectly. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be holistic, social-network-based? If you implement virally, you may have to enhance efficiently. Think short-term. What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? It seems mixed-up, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will inflate our capability to aggregate without reducing our power to incentivize. We have come to know that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also embrace transparently. HorsePorn is the industry leader of cross-media channels. Without social networks, you will lack performance. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to deliver cyber-efficiently. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and J++. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will streamline the capability of functionalities to syndicate. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you integrate virtually then you may also reinvent iteravely. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We think we know that it is better to maximize mega-intra-globally than to monetize virally.