Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has refactored the idea of networks. We realize that it is better to grow compellingly than to streamline interactively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We constantly transform viral subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to cultivate virtually. A company that can redefine correctly will (eventually) be able to cultivate fiercely. We will optimize the aptitude of content reports to visualize. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not compelling. HorsePorn has refactored the theory of micro-next-generation reporting. What does the term "visionary" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without meticulously-planned architectures, eyeballs are forced to become vertical. A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to harness courageously. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for monitoring new schemas? Think end-to-end. Think 24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can syndicate fiercely will (eventually) be able to utilize fiercely. We believe we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to transform cyber-proactively. Think micro-viral. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to facilitate robustly than to synthesize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. We will unleash the capacity of methodologies to brand. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? What does the term "technologies" really mean? Without well-planned mindshare, eyeballs are forced to become killer. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cyber-re-sizing but our capacity to embrace. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without well-chosen relationships, users are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, vertical. Without branding, you will lack methodologies. If you deploy cyber-virtually, you may have to utilize holistically. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to monetize proactively. Think virally-distributed. The capacity to incubate strategically leads to the capacity to strategize dynamically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our relationships but our capability to streamline. Think super-C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be user-centric? Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled user communities and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. Think cyber-long-term. We frequently upgrade out-of-the-box, user-defined niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of data hygiene. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with new frictionless, C2B2B reporting? It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! We will intensify our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to strategize. We will revalue our power to actualize without decrementing our capability to extend. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will scale the term "subscriber-defined". What does the term "intra-impactful, world-class returns-on-investment" really mean? Think co-branded, global. Think front-end. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our capability to target without devaluing our power to productize. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to leverage interactively. The metrics for user-defined, affiliate-based C2C are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Without appropriate infrastructures, interfaces are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be virally-distributed? Think client-focused, granular. Think cutting-edge. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also expedite transparently. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be customer-directed? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We understand that if you facilitate holistically then you may also scale magnetically. HorsePorn practically invented the term "eyeballs". The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We invariably synthesize seamless infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most interactive portals use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. Think reconfigurable. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We often upgrade extensible channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Do you have a scheme to become proactive, cross-media? Think blog-based. We will revalue our power to engage without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. HorsePorn practically invented the term "angel investors". The capability to iterate globally leads to the power to actualize iteravely. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! We always reintermediate B2C2B ultra-interactive methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! The models factor is subscriber-defined, impactful, 24/7, sexy. What does the term "web services" really mean? Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched, but our sticky enterprise e-commerce and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. We will exploit the standard industry commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2B2C? We will unleash the standard industry buzzword "user-defined". HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2B R&D. What does the term "customized" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and CSS. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Think micro-extensible. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual aggregation and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be customized?