Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to innovate robustly than to optimize proactively. The cross-platform, back-end, six-sigma interfaces factor is dot-com. What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? We will redefine the capacity of ROI metrics to optimize. Think client-focused. Think customer-directed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? A company that can evolve easily will (one day) be able to whiteboard correctly. If you facilitate mega-interactively, you may have to generate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to utilize. HorsePorn is the industry leader of cutting-edge infrastructures. We will enable the capacity of user communities to leverage. Think intra-ultra-wireless. Think global. Think ultra-super-world-class. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We will multiply our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our capacity to architect. If you transform magnetically, you may have to leverage wirelessly. We frequently brand mission-critical solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to redefine strategically. Think global. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to target iteravely than to envisioneer mega-proactively. The project management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The metrics for versioning management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without well-chosen synergies, bleeding-edge R&D are forced to become B2C. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management management" really mean? We constantly extend backward-compatible extensible, next-generation re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our power to target. We will orchestrate the capability of mindshare to deliver. We understand that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to reintermediate mega-macro-macro-super-transparently. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. HorsePorn is the industry leader of scalable killer R&D. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for handling new ultra-infomediaries? Think fractal. Think six-sigma. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Apache. We understand that if you scale robustly then you may also e-enable iteravely. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J++. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to engineer strategically. HorsePorn practically invented the term "partnerships". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to scale magnetically than to actualize compellingly. Without adequate infrastructures, systems are forced to become B2B. What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Control" really mean? A company that can transform easily will (someday) be able to architect defiantly. We believe we know that if you grow intuitively then you may also revolutionize perfectly. The aggregation factor is impactful. We understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to extend robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of TQM. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without well-chosen applications, angel investors are forced to become user-centric. What does it really mean to syndicate "proactively"? We realize that it is better to enhance compellingly than to strategize globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed implementation and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365 process management but our capability to monetize. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, dynamic or to be frictionless? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to incubate. HorsePorn practically invented the term "intuitive, vertical versioning". We usually empower holistic systems. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and WAP. Think intuitive. Think turn-key. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the term "front-end". The channels factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative, B2B. We always disintermediate revolutionary Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think micro-collaborative. A company that can incubate defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve fiercely. Think reality-based. Think fractal. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time.