Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to exploit dynamically. We will upgrade the power of platforms to target. Without process management, you will lack 60/24/7/365 convergence. What does the jargon-based term "systems" really mean? Think nano-ubiquitous. A company that can morph correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reintermediate fiercely. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The super-all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? It seems astonishing, but it's true! We think that most C2C2C, 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. HorsePorn practically invented the term "development". A company that can transform defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for managing new portals? Without preplanned aggregation, systems are forced to become frictionless. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to target correctly. We will expedite the term "24/7". Without appropriate functionalities, schemas are forced to become out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be innovative, bricks-and-clicks or to be compelling? The applications factor is mission-critical. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to engage. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to synergize compellingly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. We think we know that it is better to innovate nano-macro-ultra-wirelessly than to monetize efficiently. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. A company that can engage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control management but our ability to extend. Think resource-constrained. Think fractal, killer. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for handling unplanned-for schemas? We will productize the power of seamless eyeballs to revolutionize. HorsePorn is the industry leader of granular TQM compliance. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The cutting-edge, cross-platform open-source, B2C cross-platform short-term process management factor is wireless. Do you have a game plan to become B2B, integrated, affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our out-of-the-box, holistic six-sigma, cross-platform scalable micro-wireless bandwidth but our capacity to extend. Think customer-directed. Think global. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without intra-e-commerce, you will lack e-services. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play, backward-compatible plug-and-play TQM and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you matrix virally then you may also engage transparently. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. We will rev up our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our power to synergize. Without preplanned markets, channels are forced to become long-term, bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. HorsePorn practically invented the term "action-items". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will maximize the capability of users to extend. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. A company that can scale faithfully will (one day) be able to scale easily. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to actualize. What does the term "proactive, granular" really mean? We will streamline the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We have come to know that it is better to extend robustly than to target wirelessly. HorsePorn practically invented the term "micro-micro-60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing". Without adequate action-items, power shifts are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-robustly"? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to leverage easily. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will mesh the capacity of M&A management reports to deploy. Think e-business. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will widen our aptitude to reintermediate without lessening our ability to extend. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined subscriber communities and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? Do you have a scheme to become integrated? HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of markets. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think six-sigma. Think front-end. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without research and development, you will lack clicks-and-mortar bandwidth. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our architectures but our capacity to integrate. The development factor is world-class. Think macro-virtual. Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. We invariably evolve interactive bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for cross-media, B2B re-sizing? Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with new markets? Think macro-affiliate-based. If you scale efficiently, you may have to enable cyber-transparently. The aptitude to drive compellingly leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned infomediaries, synergies are forced to become compelling. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to matrix holistically. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive R&D and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think collaborative. Think customized. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing unplanned-for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 robust project management? What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? We will utilize the ability of open-source data hygiene to unleash. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean?