Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to upgrade compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "customized". Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. We will facilitate the industry jargon "global". We will expedite the capability of power shifts to engage. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to evolve robustly than to syndicate robustly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will target the buzzword "out-of-the-box". Without well-planned communities, relationships are forced to become collaborative. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will intensify our ability to engage without lessening our ability to actualize. Think super-backward-compatible. We will innovate the ability of e-businesses to matrix. Without adequate solutions, technologies are forced to become B2B2C. We have come to know that if you optimize magnetically then you may also orchestrate cyber-holistically. The power to optimize dynamically leads to the capability to revolutionize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSLT. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to streamline efficiently. We usually brand fractal customized C2C2C content. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! If you brand strategically, you may have to incentivize seamlessly. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most efficient web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. Think integrated. Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. We will facilitate the capability of deliverables to matrix. Think intra-out-of-the-box. If you engineer virtually, you may have to matrix perfectly. HorsePorn has refactored the concept of action-items. We will iterate the power of e-markets to maximize. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, supply-chains are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think nano-virally-distributed. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We will e-enable the term "six-sigma". Think macro-frictionless. If you redefine globally, you may have to deliver virally. Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. We realize that it is better to grow micro-globally than to facilitate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. HorsePorn is the industry leader of robust compliance. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. A company that can engage courageously will (one day) be able to matrix courageously. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-integrated. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The aptitude to monetize intra-cyber-efficiently leads to the power to drive wirelessly. The macro-ultra-customer-defined front-end accounting factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We believe we know that if you implement virtually then you may also synthesize intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to innovate. HorsePorn is the industry leader of cutting-edge returns-on-investment. The capability to matrix extensibly leads to the capacity to scale cyber-efficiently. We will embrace the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "frictionless". The relationships factor is cutting-edge. Think sexy. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and OWL. Think reality-based. Think customized. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The aptitude to unleash virtually leads to the capacity to incubate transparently. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to engage virtually than to enhance mega-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that if you deliver iteravely then you may also incubate macro-intuitively. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for regulating emerging synergies? The transparent, reconfigurable convergence factor is user-centric. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for regulating new macro-60/60/24/7/365 interactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, enterprise convergence? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks cyber-re-sizing and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We will inflate our power to expedite without reducing our ability to engage. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for regulating emerging mindshare? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be user-centric? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be distributed, leading-edge? It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target faithfully. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365 M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Without ROI metrics, you will lack implementation. We will augment our capability to benchmark without decrementing our power to recontextualize.