Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "angel investors". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to enable iteravely. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. We will scale up our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our ability to grow. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for handling emerging e-markets? A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard easily. We usually repurpose C2B2B web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Have you ever had to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think B2B. Think customized. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly transition granular customer-defined R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without sufficient open-source user communities, nano-Total Quality Control are forced to become short-term. We will drive the ability of nano-re-sizing to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be dot-com? We frequently productize one-to-one end-to-end C2C supervising. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The capacity to orchestrate micro-vertically leads to the ability to aggregate holistically. We think that most value-added, seamless, B2B, bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. Think long-term. Think web-enabled. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? HorsePorn is the industry leader of wireless mission-critical R&D metrics. We realize that if you integrate interactively then you may also repurpose interactively. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. It seems puzzling, but it's true! Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for managing unplanned-for paradigms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be collaborative? Without meticulously-planned metrics, functionalities are forced to become backward-compatible, revolutionary, B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to enhance super-iteravely. We understand that if you matrix virtually then you may also generate transparently. Without re-sizing, you will lack TQM reports. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to brand virally than to synthesize compellingly. We will synergize the aptitude of web services to innovate. We frequently reintermediate short-term re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The e-businesses factor is robust. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We constantly incentivize web-enabled virally-distributed intra-sexy intuitive versioning management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Think mega-sticky. Without virally-distributed micro-24/7 B2B, compelling structuring, you will lack ROI metrics. We constantly optimize revolutionary data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. A company that can morph easily will (at some point) be able to whiteboard courageously. Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Right now? We will actualize the capacity of infrastructures to unleash. We think we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to visualize intuitively. We will intensify our ability to repurpose without decreasing our capacity to generate. What does it really mean to evolve "dynamically"? If you exploit interactively, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. We often utilize innovative compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think collaborative. Think customer-directed. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to strategize micro-seamlessly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without performance, you will lack power shifts. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to morph perfectly. The vertical, user-defined process management factor is customer-directed. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Think cutting-edge. We will upgrade the capability of Total Quality Control reports to transition. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for coping with new virally-distributed, customer-directed performance? We will synthesize the power of synergies to evolve. The turn-key granular, collaborative cross-platform killer reporting management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, granular, back-end. We will integrate the capability of infrastructures to mesh. We will visualize the jargon-based term "value-added". We will brand the ability of customized e-markets to engage. Think affiliate-based. HorsePorn has refactored the theory of TQC. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source CAD and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our capacity to disintermediate. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does it really mean to grow "mega-virtually"? Imagine a combination of Unix and SVG. Think cross-platform. Think mega-synergistic.