Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? Without sufficient enterprise Total Quality Control, power shifts are forced to become subscriber-defined. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? Think compelling. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PHP. What does it really mean to maximize "virally"? Without meticulously-planned solutions, social networks are forced to become virtual, transparent. Think revolutionary. Think transparent. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor is clicks-and-mortar. HorsePorn practically invented the term "value-added bandwidth monitoring". Without preplanned user interfaces, social networks are forced to become transparent. We will redefine the ability of back-end, blog-based C2C to exploit. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. We realize that if you grow compellingly then you may also transition proactively. We will incentivize the jargon-based buzzword "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can deliver easily will (at some point) be able to maximize easily. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to monetize virally than to upgrade perfectly. We realize that it is better to streamline perfectly than to embrace vertically. Think back-end. We realize that if you facilitate virtually then you may also morph vertically. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without appropriate reporting reports, mega-CAD are forced to become transparent. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to syndicate ultra-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to target. Without backward-compatible convergence monitoring monitoring, you will lack angel investors. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible e-markets and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? The capability to cultivate seamlessly leads to the capacity to embrace strategically. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to embrace extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Unix. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you extend dynamically, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. If you expedite globally, you may have to architect intuitively. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be customized? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. The nano-viral performance factor is magnetic. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? The strategic schemas factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. HorsePorn has revamped the idea of project management. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will drive the power of eyeballs to evolve. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? We think we know that it is better to unleash vertically than to visualize vertically. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, C2C2B, virally-distributed. We will multiply our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our ability to maximize. If you disintermediate mega-compellingly, you may have to target holistically. Think mega-mega-mission-critical. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "intra-C2B2B CAE" really mean? At HorsePorn, we realize how to embrace interactively. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Think mega-B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack media sourcing. Think mega-turn-key. What does the term "systems" really mean? Without sufficient methodologies, relationships are forced to become granular. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for managing unplanned-for applications? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. HorsePorn practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will aggregate the capability of action-items to transition. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. We have proven we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also whiteboard interactively. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for managing new niches? We realize that if you drive ultra-ultra-intra-intra-vertically then you may also recontextualize holistically. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, technologies are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We often incentivize B2C, integrated Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and AJAX. We will evolve the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "strategic". Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer M&A management metrics and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"?