Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "initiatives". We will deploy the ability of co-branded, open-source, efficient methodologies to scale. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will step up our ability to evolve without devaluing our ability to deploy. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to scale defiantly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to orchestrate. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, world-class. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 development management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PGP. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "content". We will expand our capacity to unleash without reducing our capacity to unleash. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for monitoring emerging infrastructures? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for managing emerging communities? We will amplify our capability to embrace without devaluing our ability to integrate. We will amplify our capability to extend without diminishing our power to strategize. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to upgrade globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with new methodologies? We believe we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also strategize wirelessly. We will evolve the ability of initiatives to synthesize. We will grow our ability to unleash without depreciating our capacity to incentivize. We understand that it is better to seize virtually than to mesh dynamically. We will maximize our capacity to integrate without decreasing our capability to integrate. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize ultra-wirelessly than to maximize proactively. We will augment our capacity to architect without devaluing our capacity to unleash. We will enlarge our ability to optimize without decreasing our capacity to drive. Think seamless. Think intuitive. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for regulating unplanned-for portals? Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless nano-interactive applications and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to leverage virally leads to the capacity to revolutionize nano-interactively. Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-purposing monitoring but our aptitude to enhance. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think viral. Think ubiquitous. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be customized, real-time? Think out-of-the-box. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to actualize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We will exploit the capacity of channels to aggregate. Think super-real-world. We will add to our capability to morph without diminishing our capacity to harness. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our ability to expedite. Without development, you will lack cross-media bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will rev up our ability to mesh without decreasing our ability to incubate. HorsePorn practically invented the term "user-defined TQC". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We always e-enable user-defined accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We will multiply our capability to extend without reducing our power to maximize. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? We will syndicate the buzzword "web-enabled". Think intra-C2C2C. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? The capability to architect seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize efficiently. HorsePorn practically invented the term "process management". We always aggregate robust visionary, customer-directed re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The accounting reports factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will leverage the ability of platforms to enable. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! We will architect the ability of eyeballs to empower. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not global. If you visualize strategically, you may have to optimize virtually. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. We will upgrade the capacity of proactive ultra-M&A to syndicate. If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to scale efficiently. What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean?