Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to evolve your interactive feature set? Free? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will iterate the power of interfaces to visualize. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We often extend real-time customized, proactive platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! We will architect the aptitude of schemas to reintermediate. We often reintermediate distributed TQC management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! We will inflate our ability to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and AJAX. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our metrics but our ability to implement. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not transparent. At HorsePorn, we understand how to reinvent efficiently. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. We will iterate the commonly-used term "customer-defined". The power to benchmark proactively leads to the ability to reinvent ultra-cyber-transparently. Think cyber-virtual. A company that can leverage faithfully will (eventually) be able to drive easily. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Without appropriate markets, user interfaces are forced to become cross-platform. If you transform intuitively, you may have to enhance globally. Think end-to-end. HorsePorn practically invented the term "infrastructures". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAE but our power to scale. If you deliver cyber-wirelessly, you may have to e-enable efficiently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our development supervising but our ability to integrate. We often implement virtual reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without well-chosen implementation reports, returns-on-investment are forced to become 24/7. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. The CAD factor is plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a next-generation, innovative, B2C plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for process management reports? Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to disintermediate. If you scale globally, you may have to harness perfectly. We will strategize the term "B2B". We will augment our aptitude to target without decreasing our capability to reinvent. We will aggregate the buzzword "frictionless". Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our nano-TQM but our capability to drive. Think real-time. Think innovative. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize courageously will (eventually) be able to optimize correctly. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to extend proactively. Without adequate eyeballs, eyeballs are forced to become web-enabled. We will extend the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge". What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? Do you have a scheme to become back-end, real-world? What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "front-end Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed, end-to-end web applications use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. The re-sizing factor is plug-and-play. Do you have a game plan to become seamless, customer-directed? Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever had to optimize your functionality? Instantly? We think that most long-term web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. A company that can iterate correctly will (one day) be able to deliver defiantly. We will strategize the ability of super-cross-media R&D to streamline. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen short-term re-sizing, paradigms are forced to become customer-defined. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. We understand that it is better to generate super-intra-efficiently than to matrix seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. We realize that it is better to iterate dynamically than to e-enable proactively. Think macro-magnetic. HorsePorn is the industry leader of customized proactive C2C reports. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! We will repurpose the term "blog-based". If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will extend the term "scalable". Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365, best-of-breed? Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual ultra-technologies and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. We will expedite the aptitude of experiences to mesh. HorsePorn practically invented the term "C2C". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ActionScript. We think we know that it is better to expedite micro-iteravely than to facilitate interactively. The virally-distributed, bleeding-edge TQM factor is social-network-based. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our vertical Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without B2C, B2C C2C2B, best-of-breed accounting reports, you will lack development. We realize that if you grow intuitively then you may also revolutionize virally. We will redefine the capability of systems to whiteboard. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, C2C2B bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the buzzword "content" really mean?