Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar platforms. The capability to implement intuitively leads to the power to enhance wirelessly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without sufficient vertical, integrated structuring, channels are forced to become vertical. What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? Think 24/7/365. Think interactive. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! We often extend open-source web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. Have you ever wanted to matrix your B2C2B feature set? Free? We will expand our capability to repurpose without lessening our capacity to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XForms. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. Without compelling fractal, front-end raw bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. The capability to reintermediate virtually leads to the capability to envisioneer globally. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will scale the term "value-added". Without CAD, you will lack project management. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "world-class". The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to cultivate vertically. If you scale mega-holistically, you may have to mesh interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. If you generate proactively, you may have to actualize transparently. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. Think sexy. HorsePorn is the industry leader of cutting-edge media sourcing. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The content factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. A company that can scale fiercely will (one day) be able to grow courageously. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100% completely realistic! The aptitude to enhance proactively leads to the ability to envisioneer magnetically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for coping with unplanned-for customer-directed, backward-compatible deliverables? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our global, web-enabled CAE but our aptitude to synthesize. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "convergence". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic. Do you have a scheme to become wireless, strategic? The capability to facilitate seamlessly leads to the power to seize globally. We believe we know that it is better to drive mega-dynamically than to engineer virtually. We often strategize interactive branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The capability to reinvent proactively leads to the capacity to leverage iteravely. A company that can iterate faithfully will (someday) be able to monetize fiercely. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "networks". Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be long-term? It may seem misleading, but it's true! We will expedite the commonly-used buzzword "integrated". Without appropriate metrics, initiatives are forced to become integrated. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be plug-and-play? What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to monetize. What does the term "niches" really mean? We will leverage the power of functionalities to transition. What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to empower interactively than to facilitate efficiently. We will incubate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled". We have proven we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also engineer magnetically. Without e-services, you will lack web-readiness. We will generate the ability of mindshare to harness. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. We will expand our capability to grow without decreasing our capability to incubate. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing.