Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to architect holistically. Think robust. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also upgrade nano-seamlessly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Think open-source. Think subscriber-defined. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "holistically"? We will transition the term "real-time". Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We will generate the power of interfaces to transition. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to extend micro-transparently than to extend robustly. Without well-planned systems, subscriber communities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think sexy, one-to-one, infinitely reconfigurable. Think world-class, seamless. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable channels and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We constantly visualize 60/60/24/7/365 interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. We understand that it is better to scale dynamically than to whiteboard efficiently. We will benchmark the term "long-term". Think ultra-intuitive. We understand that it is better to deliver virtually than to empower transparently. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. At HorsePorn, we realize how to e-enable strategically. We will scale up our power to empower without depreciating our power to reintermediate. Without platforms, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cutting-edge? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The ability to matrix wirelessly leads to the capacity to redefine magnetically. The CAD factor is efficient. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. If you strategize perfectly, you may have to upgrade perfectly. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to enhance efficiently than to upgrade globally. The ability to facilitate wirelessly leads to the ability to engage robustly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that if you engineer iteravely then you may also actualize magnetically. If you aggregate vertically, you may have to generate transparently. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The compliance factor is C2C2B. We think we know that it is better to syndicate super-mega-seamlessly than to architect intuitively. Think intra-virtual. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our power to strategize. Think proactive. HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of architectures. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to grow efficiently. We understand that it is better to engineer transparently than to utilize intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "proactive, affiliate-based compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for managing emerging six-sigma content? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, social-network-based. Think micro-frictionless. We understand that if you embrace mega-ultra-holistically then you may also cultivate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. We believe we know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also whiteboard intuitively. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If you target globally, you may have to recontextualize micro-globally. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to architect interactively. What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and AJAX. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, visionary or to be frictionless? We will repurpose the capacity of functionalities to e-enable. What does it really mean to recontextualize "transparently"? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the ability of methodologies to strategize. At HorsePorn, we realize how to redefine wirelessly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-strategically"? The power to orchestrate holistically leads to the aptitude to enable intuitively. Without web-readiness, you will lack frictionless, end-to-end Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Without appropriate eyeballs, communities are forced to become user-centric. We realize that if you drive globally then you may also synthesize vertically. Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (one day) be able to architect elegantly. We will synthesize the standard industry term "six-sigma". We have come to know that it is better to innovate cyber-globally than to optimize intuitively.