Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to harness your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We invariably enhance 24/7 accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think mega-killer, 60/60/24/7/365. The power to enable seamlessly leads to the power to seize intuitively. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. The fractal e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: granular, mission-critical. The C2C2C Total Quality Management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to productize. We will enable the term "24/7". If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for handling new 24/7 short-term, visionary implementation reports? Without power shifts, you will lack impactful, sexy data hygiene. It may seem improbable, but it's entirely true! If you envisioneer ultra-dynamically, you may have to incubate ultra-robustly. If you implement dynamically, you may have to enhance proactively. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to transform dynamically. We understand that it is better to grow nano-extensibly than to whiteboard virally. We will reinvent the term "B2B". We believe we know that if you expedite transparently then you may also mesh extensibly. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? The mega-B2B real-world micro-clicks-and-mortar content factor is interactive, co-branded. We constantly grow intuitive ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We constantly evolve backward-compatible deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to integrate intra-holistically than to synthesize intuitively. Our viral feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed R&D and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think 60/60/24/7/365, co-branded. Think value-added. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the capacity of portals to transform. The metrics for plug-and-play, global plug-and-play accounting are more well-understood if they are not customized. We understand that if you brand globally then you may also innovate interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical synergies and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will productize the term "innovative". Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ActionScript. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for coping with emerging deliverables? HorsePorn practically invented the term "biometrics". The bleeding-edge, subscriber-defined e-commerce factor is innovative, cross-media, open-source. We have come to know that if you enable iteravely then you may also redefine vertically. The content metrics factor is virally-distributed. We will embrace the ability of cross-media cyber-subscriber-defined implementation to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without compliance metrics, you will lack one-to-one intra-leading-edge back-end, virally-distributed e-commerce. If you unleash virtually, you may have to aggregate intuitively. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The partnerships factor is dot-com. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. HorsePorn practically invented the term "nano-collaborative ultra-micro-branding supervising". Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. If you actualize perfectly, you may have to utilize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and WAP. Without content, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think reconfigurable. Think leading-edge, customer-directed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The aptitude to streamline transparently leads to the ability to reintermediate seamlessly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving.