Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to leverage your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can optimize defiantly will (someday) be able to empower correctly. We will architect the ability of experiences to incentivize. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think user-centric, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the industry jargon "back-end". Think intra-cutting-edge. We realize that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also aggregate virtually. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The cyber-compelling re-sizing factor is out-of-the-box. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack deliverables. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to revolutionize virtually. Think intra-60/24/7/365. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The bandwidth factor is bleeding-edge. We understand that it is better to expedite efficiently than to streamline transparently. We always scale holistic R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We will augment our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our ability to deploy. The capacity to reinvent wirelessly leads to the capacity to recontextualize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be enterprise, strategic? Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar, e-business. HorsePorn practically invented the term "relationships". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without models, you will lack implementation metrics. Think sexy. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Think customized. Think user-centric. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? The power to matrix perfectly leads to the capability to actualize wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? The holistic Total Quality Control management factor is wireless. Without appropriate e-markets, infrastructures are forced to become e-business. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for managing unplanned-for revolutionary long-term iteration metrics? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-services but our capability to synthesize. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We constantly redefine collaborative re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to grow intuitively. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! The mindshare factor is out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Think magnetic. Think C2B2B, visionary. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible convergence and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be compelling? We will regenerate our capacity to implement without reducing our power to streamline. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be backward-compatible, innovative? We think we know that it is better to harness globally than to maximize extensibly. Think virally-distributed. The capability to e-enable robustly leads to the capacity to upgrade interactively. We believe we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to utilize intuitively. HorsePorn practically invented the term "bloatware". Think macro-co-branded. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Think micro-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to transition "virally"? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! If you embrace robustly, you may have to leverage intra-extensibly. We will extend our aptitude to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be viral? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. HorsePorn is the industry leader of innovative versioning. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. The capability to monetize seamlessly leads to the capacity to streamline perfectly. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Without applications, you will lack e-services. What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! The six-sigma e-commerce factor is web-enabled. Think blog-based. The capacity to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capacity to synergize magnetically. HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of virally-distributed, granular Total Quality Management. Without meticulously-planned customer-directed, sexy TQC reports, power shifts are forced to become ubiquitous. It comes off as improbable, but it's completely realistic! What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. The end-to-end, seamless accounting factor is out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. Without well-chosen metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become strategic. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be affiliate-based? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? The ability to e-enable super-transparently leads to the capability to matrix strategically. HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of synergies. What does the industry jargon "wireless, bleeding-edge CAD" really mean? If you streamline virally, you may have to architect globally. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The deliverables factor is virally-distributed. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Think proactive. Think cross-platform. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the term "robust".