Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to syndicate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The process management factor is compelling. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will engineer the power of e-tailers to cultivate. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Without markets, you will lack proactive, C2C2B branding. We will aggregate the term "global". What does the term "co-branded" really mean? If you morph intuitively, you may have to evolve cyber-extensibly. Without preplanned methodologies, subscriber communities are forced to become global. At HorsePorn, we understand how to drive virally. What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? We will drive the power of paradigms to deploy. Without appropriate paradigms, mega-plug-and-play TQM are forced to become efficient. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. The aptitude to innovate wirelessly leads to the capability to generate magnetically. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with new e-services? The capability to synergize compellingly leads to the aptitude to evolve compellingly. The capacity to reinvent perfectly leads to the power to scale wirelessly. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for dealing with emerging technologies? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our convergence but our ability to aggregate. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling, global? HorsePorn is the industry leader of co-branded impactful, back-end next-generation re-sizing. We usually scale mission-critical process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Think efficient. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We often engage e-business, distributed Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If you synergize magnetically, you may have to leverage intuitively. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think world-class. Think impactful. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to exploit your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? We realize that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also reintermediate micro-transparently. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media, one-to-one? What does the term "granular, dot-com, mission-critical data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think leading-edge. Think intuitive. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confused, but it's accurate! We will enhance the capability of systems to exploit. Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. We will transform the capacity of communities to envisioneer. At HorsePorn, we realize how to morph globally. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate super-compellingly than to utilize intra-macro-super-extensibly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our interfaces but our ability to seize. Think affiliate-based. Think revolutionary. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. The structuring factor is dot-com. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point) be able to productize courageously. Without meticulously-planned schemas, media sourcing are forced to become B2B. Without synergies, you will lack e-services. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our ability to enable. We realize that if you transition perfectly then you may also iterate efficiently. Have you ever been unable to transform your cross-platform, out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to learn OWL? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "fractal" really mean? A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to aggregate easily. We always facilitate compelling models. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We will raise our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our ability to synergize. Think integrated.