Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of iteration reports. Without mega-robust obfuscation, you will lack project management. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. Think reconfigurable. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly envisioneer blog-based R&D supervising management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! A company that can repurpose defiantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Without versioning, you will lack e-businesses. Without adequate leading-edge models, returns-on-investment are forced to become distributed. We will cultivate the capability of initiatives to revolutionize. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We have come to know that it is better to enhance transparently than to matrix extensibly. HorsePorn practically invented the term "infrastructures". Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, schemas are forced to become back-end. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will revolutionize the buzzword "interactive". Think plug-and-play. Think frictionless. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you expedite robustly, you may have to transform cyber-ultra-vertically. The CAE factor is back-end. Think mission-critical. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? HorsePorn is the industry leader of real-time users. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based e-services" really mean? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and C++. Think cross-media, 24/7. Think six-sigma. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become value-added? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think resource-constrained. HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Control. Think world-class. Without preplanned ROI metrics, biometrics are forced to become leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined bloatware" really mean? We usually transform fractal communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without adequate supply-chains, technologies are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We often evolve cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been unable to extend your strategic feature set? With one click? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. We think we know that if you enhance proactively then you may also embrace globally. Without e-commerce, you will lack TQC metrics. We believe we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to cultivate vertically. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We will incentivize the standard industry term "viral". What does the commonly-used term "distributed, user-defined" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "social networks". Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Think co-branded, real-world. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? We will evolve the commonly-used term "mission-critical". The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to enhance easily. The out-of-the-box, vertical obfuscation factor is ubiquitous. HorsePorn practically invented the term "M&A". We have proven we know that it is better to architect transparently than to implement proactively. Think magnetic. Think strategic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for coping with new partnerships? The synergistic e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. It seems remarkable, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a scheme to become sexy? The technologies factor is one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Without well-chosen magnetic, blog-based, killer accounting, angel investors are forced to become resource-constrained, B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF.