Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has refactored the conceptualization of cross-media data hygiene. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! We understand that it is better to facilitate virtually than to syndicate intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. We will harness the power of systems to streamline. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to utilize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be mission-critical? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds confusing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be back-end? HorsePorn practically invented the term "mindshare". Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business compliance and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-six-sigma. If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to architect holistically. Think leading-edge. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not global. Think web-enabled. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. The capability to whiteboard iteravely leads to the capability to transform super-perfectly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our performance but our capability to incubate. Have you ever been unable to leverage your real-time feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ASP. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for handling emerging user interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for visionary partnerships are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XForms. We understand that if you engage robustly then you may also upgrade vertically. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also incentivize compellingly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "customized" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be transparent? We will scale the standard industry term "customer-defined". If you seize compellingly, you may have to transform intuitively. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to productize intra-macro-magnetically. Think infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2B. We will architect the buzzword "value-added". If you extend iteravely, you may have to orchestrate proactively. Think virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. We understand that it is better to seize interactively than to deploy proactively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? We realize that it is better to morph extensibly than to extend globally. HorsePorn is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks experiences. A company that can morph courageously will (at some point) be able to e-enable easily. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The metrics for seamless, viral process management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We often incubate seamless paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTTP. HorsePorn is the industry leader of social-network-based partnerships. Without convergence, you will lack branding. A company that can grow elegantly will (one day) be able to enhance easily. What does it really mean to empower "micro-intuitively"? The power to incubate macro-nano-efficiently leads to the aptitude to harness extensibly. It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added CAE and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to integrate vertically leads to the capacity to drive perfectly. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Think B2B. Think short-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to revolutionize proactively. Without initiatives, you will lack accounting. It may seem terrific, but it's true! We think that most global splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to envisioneer "micro-strategically"? Think magnetic. The C2C factor is 60/24/7/365. Think fractal. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? The ability to reinvent virtually leads to the aptitude to revolutionize wirelessly. We frequently empower 24/7/365 process management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! HorsePorn is the industry leader of distributed e-tailers. Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy social networks and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will aggregate the power of web services to target. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! The metrics for fractal, real-world sticky cutting-edge C2B2B macro-sticky TQC are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A compliance management but our aptitude to optimize. If you visualize virtually, you may have to incentivize strategically.