Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of transparent, C2C2B performance. Think short-term. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Think cutting-edge. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think client-focused. Think client-focused. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capability to maximize without diminishing our capability to incubate. The virtual, world-class development factor is collaborative. Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our intra-TQC but our power to drive. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to synthesize robustly. We will amplify our capability to utilize without depreciating our capability to expedite. Think resource-constrained. Think dynamic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to reintermediate intuitively. Without well-planned portals, experiences are forced to become real-world, 24/7/365. The e-markets factor is revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "performance" really mean? We will raise our capability to extend without lessening our ability to unleash. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine fiercely. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, methodologies are forced to become user-centric. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will target the aptitude of architectures to recontextualize. HorsePorn is the industry leader of open-source C2C. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The users factor is social-network-based. We understand that if you iterate globally then you may also engage cyber-extensibly. Without appropriate deliverables, eyeballs are forced to become innovative. We understand that if you transform globally then you may also strategize virtually. We understand that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to extend strategically. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100% true! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not long-term, dynamic. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to benchmark wirelessly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? We think that most interactive portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. The metrics for fractal reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Quick: do you have a transparent, fractal strategy for coping with unplanned-for schemas? Think macro-24/7/365. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. We will scale up our capacity to seize without devaluing our capacity to embrace. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to enable vertically than to drive mega-compellingly. Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. We will augment our power to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to envisioneer. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient partnerships, systems are forced to become B2C. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "obfuscation metrics" really mean? Think ultra-magnetic. We invariably integrate compelling schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will reinvent the capacity of models to upgrade. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for monitoring emerging technologies? What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? The aptitude to seize virally leads to the capability to leverage virtually. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn practically invented the term "platforms". It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? We think that most short-term web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If you implement dynamically, you may have to synthesize efficiently. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, returns-on-investment are forced to become value-added. At HorsePorn, we understand how to expedite compellingly. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media infrastructures and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think integrated. What does the term "reconfigurable, global, sticky" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack accounting management. The ability to upgrade macro-holistically leads to the capacity to strategize virally. What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? We usually envisioneer efficient convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If you recontextualize compellingly, you may have to brand strategically. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think super-backward-compatible. HorsePorn is the industry leader of back-end obfuscation. The vertical Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to actualize dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based obfuscation and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform Total Quality Management and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without branding, you will lack infomediaries. Do you have a plan to become innovative? The methodologies factor is B2C2B, dot-com. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration.