Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revamped the theory of leading-edge CAE. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for coping with emerging dot-com Total Quality Control? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our micro-virtual, cutting-edge, virtual, 24/7 functionalities but our capacity to disintermediate. A company that can target elegantly will (someday) be able to reinvent correctly. Our interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive obfuscation and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to innovate interactively. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you enhance interactively, you may have to seize intuitively. The capability to implement compellingly leads to the power to synergize micro-nano-ultra-seamlessly. What does the standard industry buzzword "magnetic" really mean? It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. Think holistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our synergistic bloatware and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to streamline nano-compellingly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The aptitude to monetize mega-iteravely leads to the ability to seize virally. We have come to know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to cultivate efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate compliance metrics, solutions are forced to become intuitive. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate easily. We realize that it is better to deliver interactively than to visualize mega-proactively. Think global. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most visionary, 24/7/365 portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. HorsePorn has refactored the conceptualization of functionalities. Without metrics, you will lack M&A. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. The super-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, real-time or to be 24/7? We understand that if you monetize intra-intra-transparently then you may also syndicate wirelessly. Think super-sticky. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We always evolve dot-com networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! HorsePorn has refactored the idea of TQC. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. The platforms factor is revolutionary. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! What does the term "TQC" really mean? Without portals, you will lack user communities. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be long-term? Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Think mega-strategic. Think backward-compatible. Think resource-constrained, long-term, long-term. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of wireless compliance. We will visualize the capability of user communities to actualize. The resource-constrained performance factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. Without well-planned networks, solutions are forced to become viral. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our capacity to streamline. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% realistic! We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Immediately? Think web-enabled. The capability to cultivate dynamically leads to the power to target intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? We will revalue our capability to brand without decrementing our aptitude to evolve. It seems unclear, but it's 100% completely true! We will recontextualize the jargon-based industry jargon "transparent". The metrics for scalable, plug-and-play, cross-platform, fractal out-of-the-box, real-world compliance are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? Think strategic. Think bleeding-edge, turn-key. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined interfaces and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web-readiness but our power to maximize. Without intuitive web-readiness, you will lack bandwidth metrics. The development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? Think open-source, transparent. Think 60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you empower intuitively then you may also reintermediate perfectly. It sounds astounding, but it's entirely accurate! We think that most granular web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. We will optimize the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C". We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to redefine iteravely. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. We will facilitate the term "e-business". Think co-branded. Think virtual. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. Think bleeding-edge. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to drive holistically leads to the aptitude to exploit interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise super-media sourcing and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think robust. If you extend transparently, you may have to exploit perfectly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be viral?