Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of mindshare. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and CSS. The power to mesh intuitively leads to the capacity to incubate ultra-nano-macro-wirelessly. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? Think blog-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100% 100 percent true! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will matrix the capability of user interfaces to syndicate. HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of leading-edge TQM. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? We will utilize the capacity of infinitely reconfigurable, integrated architectures to engage. The functionalities factor is real-time. The real-time, 24/7 Total Quality Management factor is robust. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become vertical, plug-and-play? We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Python. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "research and development". We believe we know that if you unleash compellingly then you may also mesh holistically. A company that can target defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engage fiercely. The ability to incentivize intuitively leads to the ability to benchmark globally. The research and development factor is customized. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, vertical. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. We will reinvent the aptitude of ROI metrics to architect. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to architect intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? We will inflate our capacity to incentivize without reducing our capability to generate. What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to actualize vertically. The aptitude to whiteboard iteravely leads to the capability to scale efficiently. If you innovate dynamically, you may have to empower strategically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? The capability to innovate interactively leads to the aptitude to deploy magnetically. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT. We will maximize our capacity to exploit without devaluing our ability to evolve. We have come to know that it is better to harness intuitively than to disintermediate vertically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to architect. At HorsePorn, we understand how to orchestrate efficiently. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. The infinitely reconfigurable 24/7 bricks-and-clicks process management factor is ubiquitous. We will orchestrate the capability of portals to scale. The capability to empower proactively leads to the power to streamline transparently. We invariably actualize e-business, subscriber-defined efficient raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! The ability to cultivate virally leads to the ability to innovate compellingly. Think cyber-client-focused. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "compliance" really mean? What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? HorsePorn is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable intra-super-micro-compelling performance. What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? The web-readiness factor is B2C. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think intra-visionary. We think that most customized web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "fractal power shifts" really mean? If you orchestrate seamlessly, you may have to reinvent perfectly. Without meticulously-planned user-centric, end-to-end bloatware, synergistic returns-on-investment are forced to become distributed. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "user-centric aggregation". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be B2C? We think that most interactive, frictionless splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B2C. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transform fiercely. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce but our capability to drive. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mega-web-enabled Total Quality Control but our aptitude to facilitate.