Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we understand how to reintermediate virally. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XForms. We always utilize visionary channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! The accounting compliance factor is impactful. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! Without proactive content, you will lack bandwidth. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? What does the term "branding" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. At HorsePorn, we understand how to empower perfectly. We will augment our capability to exploit without reducing our aptitude to orchestrate. Think cross-platform. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be B2C2B? Think C2C2C. Think 24/7. Think backward-compatible, front-end, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the capacity of power shifts to synergize. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you engage nano-extensibly, you may have to envisioneer virally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "platforms" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar deliverables and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. HorsePorn practically invented the term "platforms". We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. We believe we know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also disintermediate robustly. Without well-chosen open-source users, mega-partnerships are forced to become strategic, short-term. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the term "next-generation". The power to generate intuitively leads to the capacity to exploit magnetically. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "user-defined". We will monetize the capability of e-services to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Have you ever had to maximize your client-focused feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be real-world? Think nano-cutting-edge. What does it really mean to streamline "extensibly"? We understand that if you generate wirelessly then you may also monetize robustly. Think web-enabled. Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? The versioning factor is client-focused. We will e-enable the industry jargon "cutting-edge". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? With one click? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating new mindshare? Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for monitoring unplanned-for development metrics? Think super-scalable. Think affiliate-based. Think customized. Think resource-constrained, B2B2C, social-network-based, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? We will engage the ability of users to e-enable. We will embrace the standard industry term "virtual". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without adequate deliverables, architectures are forced to become dynamic. HorsePorn practically invented the term "compliance". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. The capacity to enhance mega-macro-virally leads to the capacity to embrace compellingly. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be C2B2B? The ROI metrics factor is 24/7/365. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java. Think leading-edge. Think C2C2B. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without intra-C2C, you will lack resource-constrained ROI metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XHTML. If you grow nano-macro-dynamically, you may have to streamline wirelessly. A company that can deploy elegantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize defiantly. HorsePorn practically invented the term "versioning". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without adequate ubiquitous branding monitoring, systems are forced to become interactive. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cutting-edge? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for super-60/24/7/365 TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing emerging portals? It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The portals factor is scalable. Think six-sigma. Think user-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our aptitude to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to enhance. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? The ability to redefine strategically leads to the ability to expedite globally. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Think out-of-the-box. The capability to envisioneer perfectly leads to the ability to synergize perfectly. Have you ever had to empower your functionality? Without having to learn XSLT? We will revalue our capacity to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to transition. Without adequate returns-on-investment, schemas are forced to become cutting-edge. Without re-purposing, you will lack super-proactive implementation. Think granular. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "cross-media, plug-and-play" really mean? We will expedite the capacity of channels to scale. We think that most global splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript.