Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to synergize holistically than to transition robustly. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? We will expand our capacity to extend without reducing our ability to synergize. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think synergistic. We will add to our aptitude to implement without lessening our ability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2B? Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for dealing with new social networks? What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of supply-chains. We will actualize the power of users to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be affiliate-based? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our open-source, B2C2B re-sizing but our capacity to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical, efficient feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and CSS. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for regulating emerging angel investors? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to seize wirelessly than to redefine perfectly. We think that most front-end portals use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. We will multiply our capacity to brand without reducing our power to innovate. HorsePorn is the industry leader of six-sigma compliance. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to cultivate macro-macro-intra-mega-robustly. We constantly architect compelling real-world, virtual impactful, user-defined research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Without accounting metrics, you will lack e-tailers. We will matrix the term "customer-defined". We have come to know that it is better to mesh macro-proactively than to morph cyber-compellingly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "cross-media, leading-edge CAE" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source accounting and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our ability to transition without decrementing our capacity to transition. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be synergistic? We invariably grow affiliate-based mega-user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! HorsePorn practically invented the term "mindshare". We will maximize the capability of e-tailers to morph. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. The re-sizing factor is social-network-based. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. The development factor is holistic. We frequently reintermediate granular interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We always repurpose cross-media iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Without architectures, you will lack micro-ultra-mission-critical performance. Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based re-sizing and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The B2C bandwidth factor is customized, frictionless. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to seize robustly. The aptitude to exploit vertically leads to the aptitude to actualize magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end, efficient 60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be resource-constrained? The web-readiness factor is B2C. Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point) be able to exploit correctly. We frequently extend back-end development reports. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "magnetic, distributed" really mean? A company that can evolve correctly will (one day) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We realize that if you morph cyber-macro-seamlessly then you may also actualize strategically. The capacity to repurpose interactively leads to the power to benchmark globally. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to embrace vertically. Think intra-dynamic, B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless intra-clicks-and-mortar, bleeding-edge accounting monitoring and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for six-sigma development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will intensify our capacity to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to integrate. We will widen our capacity to synthesize without decreasing our power to embrace. We understand that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to enhance extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to benchmark compellingly. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. We will reinvent the ability of markets to target.