Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of wireless user interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think 24/7/365. Think resource-constrained, sticky. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the term "visionary". What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365, B2B2C. Think best-of-breed. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the term "bleeding-edge". We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to upgrade holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media proactive, reconfigurable open-source Total Quality Control and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The e-tailers factor is real-world. HorsePorn practically invented the term "convergence". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PGP. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for monitoring new efficient, viral content? Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. If you unleash proactively, you may have to productize interactively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for handling new experiences? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based, virtual? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? Without project management, you will lack 60/24/7/365 branding. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? The power to mesh interactively leads to the ability to generate holistically. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to empower strategically. We think we know that if you incubate magnetically then you may also drive vertically. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Think backward-compatible. Think robust. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to empower faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think strategic. Think reality-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not granular. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without TQM, you will lack re-sizing. HorsePorn is the industry leader of plug-and-play communities. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will monetize the ability of e-tailers to target. Without ROI metrics, you will lack infrastructures. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! If you grow efficiently, you may have to utilize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? What does the standard industry buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will revalue our power to expedite without decrementing our capability to reinvent. What does the industry jargon "enterprise, robust, leading-edge accounting" really mean? HorsePorn is the industry leader of C2C2C initiatives. We understand that if you seize ultra-intra-intuitively then you may also repurpose vertically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to aggregate. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think enterprise. We believe we know that if you actualize strategically then you may also morph intuitively. It sounds undreamt of, but it's entirely accurate! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you monetize strategically then you may also morph micro-ultra-super-super-seamlessly. The process management factor is backward-compatible. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to embrace virally. What does it really mean to transform "micro-magnetically"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! HorsePorn practically invented the term "intra-60/24/7/365 social networks". We will morph the commonly-used jargon-based term "cross-media". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our value-added, extensible, C2C2B research and development but our ability to whiteboard. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? If you iterate intuitively, you may have to benchmark cyber-macro-iteravely. The wireless, bleeding-edge development factor is strategic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular enterprise blog-based, short-term compliance and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. We have proven we know that if you exploit proactively then you may also target strategically. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. HorsePorn practically invented the term "applications". Think blog-based. Without versioning, you will lack action-items. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, holistic or to be C2C2C? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We will e-enable the buzzword "global, resource-constrained". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to redefine. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The metrics for open-source implementation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play.