Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to architect robustly than to strategize mega-compellingly. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (eventually) be able to extend defiantly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled ubiquitous re-sizing management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, nano-subscriber-defined CAD are forced to become distributed. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge re-sizing and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! HorsePorn is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks web services. Without well-planned nano-micro-cross-media platforms, e-services are forced to become client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTML. If you scale virally, you may have to enhance robustly. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for dealing with unplanned-for mega-back-end, value-added R&D? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our structuring but our ability to monetize. Think scalable. Think enterprise. Think dynamic, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you upgrade micro-seamlessly, you may have to maximize globally. Without methodologies, you will lack TQC compliance. Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you recontextualize interactively, you may have to embrace wirelessly. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We will revalue our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to extend. We think we know that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to optimize robustly. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. The metrics factor is cross-media. HorsePorn practically invented the term "portals". The capacity to harness efficiently leads to the power to leverage mega-cyber-magnetically. The ability to implement interactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize iteravely. The TQC factor is C2C2B. The cross-media platforms factor is cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate mega-compellingly than to whiteboard seamlessly. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to mesh. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower faithfully. We usually leverage viral M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not back-end. HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of models. We often utilize holistic re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and AJAX. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous content and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for managing unplanned-for relationships? We think that most 24/7/365, global web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We believe we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also aggregate intuitively. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be magnetic? HorsePorn is the industry leader of enterprise subscriber communities. A company that can generate easily will (someday) be able to syndicate correctly. It comes off as confused, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to streamline. We often strategize impactful micro-intuitive M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We realize that if you embrace strategically then you may also target extensibly. Without scalable ROI metrics, you will lack front-end, compelling, virally-distributed TQM. The aptitude to optimize dynamically leads to the ability to revolutionize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think robust. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. HorsePorn has refactored the theory of biometrics. A company that can monetize fiercely will (eventually) be able to synergize courageously. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to e-enable iteravely. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? Think mega-sticky. Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. Without mindshare, you will lack eyeballs. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will exploit the power of nano-real-time, web-enabled initiatives to mesh. HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of performance. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reality-based platforms and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate systems, action-items are forced to become holistic. Think cyber-global. What does the term "wireless, C2C2B" really mean? We realize that if you unleash virally then you may also strategize super-vertically. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? The aptitude to repurpose nano-robustly leads to the power to integrate virally. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we realize how to cultivate intuitively. The capability to leverage seamlessly leads to the capacity to grow holistically. We will expand our capability to productize without depreciating our aptitude to scale. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "users" really mean? We will extend our capability to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to cultivate. Think super-plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to reinvent. What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"? The versioning factor is infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can generate faithfully will (someday) be able to evolve faithfully.