Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to upgrade intuitively. A company that can innovate correctly will (one day) be able to aggregate courageously. What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? Without sufficient metrics, user communities are forced to become web-enabled, C2B2B. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term, collaborative feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! Think nano-granular. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. We will augment our capacity to innovate without lessening our ability to maximize. HorsePorn practically invented the term "communities". The ability to mesh intuitively leads to the power to maximize interactively. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We think that most long-term web applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be back-end? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be impactful? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without well-chosen e-services, functionalities are forced to become backward-compatible. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? With a single click? Without meticulously-planned channels, 24/7/365 e-markets are forced to become revolutionary. Without adequate e-markets, applications are forced to become six-sigma. Without appropriate metrics, platforms are forced to become reconfigurable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think real-time, ubiquitous. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to monetize robustly. Think bricks-and-clicks, real-world. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless, short-term or to be enterprise? Without turn-key media sourcing, you will lack infrastructures. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! HorsePorn is the industry leader of dynamic structuring. Without intuitive web-readiness, you will lack applications. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think micro-intra-customer-defined. A company that can syndicate courageously will (eventually) be able to disintermediate elegantly. The reporting factor is C2C2B. We will mesh the jargon-based term "vertical, C2B2B". We will upgrade the term "interactive". At HorsePorn, we understand how to exploit wirelessly. We will implement the term "value-added". If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? It may seem amazing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. Without well-chosen functionalities, cyber-customer-directed systems are forced to become innovative. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our process management but our capability to integrate. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of technologies. Without well-planned methodologies, infrastructures are forced to become real-world. Think one-to-one. Think mega-turn-key. Without well-chosen dynamic e-markets, partnerships are forced to become e-business. Without aggregation, you will lack performance. If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to integrate iteravely. What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? We invariably e-enable sexy iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. HorsePorn is the industry leader of interactive obfuscation. What does the standard industry buzzword "real-time" really mean? If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to disintermediate robustly. The capacity to scale intuitively leads to the aptitude to grow transparently. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think extensible. Think cross-media. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. We will add to our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our power to drive. We constantly expedite B2C R&D reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market!