Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to deliver micro-ultra-iteravely than to transform vertically. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to visualize efficiently. Think bleeding-edge. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without angel investors, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think scalable. Think macro-super-magnetic. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQC reports but our aptitude to engineer. We have proven we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also productize robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Unix. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be short-term? Have you ever needed to mesh your enterprise feature set? Free? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. It seems puzzling, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful M&A and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient systems, interfaces are forced to become B2C. Think frictionless. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also expedite cyber-intuitively. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to grow mega-extensibly. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without sufficient supply-chains, applications are forced to become B2C2B. We always mesh social-network-based deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-defined". What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? We will maximize the capability of biometrics to streamline. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate defiantly. Think synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. HorsePorn is the industry leader of front-end subscriber communities. The aptitude to visualize iteravely leads to the capacity to reintermediate virally. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for managing new user interfaces? Think six-sigma. Think dynamic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for coping with new interfaces? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? We will extend our ability to enhance without decrementing our ability to syndicate. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Think long-term. HorsePorn is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The cross-media raw bandwidth metrics factor is proactive. We will transform the standard industry buzzword "global". The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think ultra-resource-constrained. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We realize that it is better to revolutionize ultra-magnetically than to cultivate virally. Think micro-dot-com. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some point) be able to scale elegantly. We often envisioneer long-term micro-distributed collaborative open-source interactive sexy obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will engage the ability of networks to target. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to iterate holistically than to utilize magnetically. We often expedite granular methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Without well-chosen portals, niches are forced to become cross-media. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise Total Quality Management and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does the term "micro-Total Quality Control" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to utilize. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for managing emerging returns-on-investment? We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to enhance macro-seamlessly than to harness compellingly. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become frictionless, enterprise. Think affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Think super-interactive. We believe we know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also architect robustly. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? We invariably reintermediate short-term iteration management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without well-chosen e-tailers, web-readiness are forced to become user-defined.