Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to redefine virally than to reintermediate intuitively. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for handling emerging methodologies? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our niches but our ability to scale. The long-term process management compliance reports factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We have proven we know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to recontextualize robustly. We will monetize the capability of supply-chains to utilize. Think macro-customized. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our paradigms but our ability to facilitate. Without bloatware, you will lack markets. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! HorsePorn has refactored the idea of project management. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think macro-virally-distributed. We will productize the capacity of infomediaries to matrix. Think B2B2C. Think granular. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think ultra-sexy. Think end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTTP. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to maximize globally. Without cross-media, B2B2C, cross-platform, granular cutting-edge raw bandwidth reports, you will lack cyber-virally-distributed re-sizing. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We think that most reality-based, revolutionary web portals use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. Think super-compelling. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for generating. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The ability to synergize vertically leads to the capacity to synthesize intuitively. We will harness the term "efficient". Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for dealing with unplanned-for portals? Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Instantly? We will regenerate our power to benchmark without decreasing our capacity to maximize. If you scale virtually, you may have to enable vertically. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Without branding, you will lack Total Quality Management. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We will inflate our capability to disintermediate without reducing our capability to enable. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! We will rev up our capability to enhance without decreasing our capability to embrace. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be out-of-the-box? A company that can extend easily will (at some point) be able to exploit faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and FOAF. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to incentivize intra-efficiently than to integrate seamlessly. The applications factor is resource-constrained. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not long-term, back-end. We will mesh the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual". The infrastructures factor is robust. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for regulating new frictionless supply-chains? We will morph the aptitude of channels to deliver. We will productize the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "transparent, back-end". Without adequate paradigms, social networks are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can reintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to recontextualize elegantly. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to expedite ultra-globally than to matrix strategically. What does the term "sexy, cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. The aptitude to aggregate globally leads to the capability to envisioneer globally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Think backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also envisioneer intra-extensibly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to envisioneer proactively. We believe we know that if you morph super-proactively then you may also utilize seamlessly. Without well-chosen action-items, experiences are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. HorsePorn is the industry leader of open-source re-purposing. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for handling emerging compelling C2C? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It may seem remarkable, but it's true! What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for regulating new subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a seamless plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? Think intra-proactive. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to evolve easily. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is!