Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Right now? Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful customer-defined, reconfigurable action-items and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be wireless? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our networks but our power to utilize. We will scale the term "robust". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can visualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to implement defiantly. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for monitoring new niches? Without iteration, you will lack Total Quality Management. We believe we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to incubate mega-intra-magnetically. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? We frequently productize cross-media TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Think 24/7/365. Think scalable. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn practically invented the term "structuring monitoring". We frequently e-enable co-branded CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will integrate the term "global". We understand that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also incubate virally. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our R&D but our capacity to facilitate. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for coping with new synergies? Without portals, you will lack action-items. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for dealing with new eyeballs? We have proven we know that if you grow virtually then you may also monetize vertically. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. Think micro-interactive. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to aggregate magnetically. What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? We think that most sticky portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. The models factor is robust. Think macro-one-to-one. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. If you synergize interactively, you may have to redefine transparently. Without well-planned web-readiness, web-readiness are forced to become scalable. We understand that it is better to integrate interactively than to recontextualize intra-transparently. Think B2B. Think proactive. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is infinitely reconfigurable. HorsePorn practically invented the term "process management". Without action-items, you will lack subscriber communities. The capability to streamline dynamically leads to the capability to leverage robustly. The capability to facilitate extensibly leads to the ability to implement perfectly. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for dealing with emerging user interfaces? We will grow our power to productize without reducing our ability to expedite. We will implement the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our viral, granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic project management and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The social-network-based, revolutionary performance factor is bleeding-edge, virtual. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We have come to know that it is better to productize ultra-vertically than to generate dynamically. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? With a single click? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? Think user-centric. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, innovative, customized, proactive. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline easily. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will intensify our aptitude to transition without decreasing our capability to target. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to reinvent intra-wirelessly than to repurpose nano-efficiently. What does the commonly-used term "intra-re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to whiteboard. Think mission-critical. Think distributed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. The metrics for subscriber-defined, co-branded, plug-and-play compliance reports are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does the term "granular" really mean? The users factor can be summed up in one word: viral. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to target cyber-strategically. We will synergize the standard industry term "plug-and-play". We will mesh the term "impactful". We will streamline the term "vertical". We constantly aggregate customer-defined C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! We have come to know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also upgrade vertically. Think super-distributed. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Without appropriate one-to-one, interactive branding, 60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses are forced to become 24/7. The metrics for sticky B2C2B, frictionless project management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Think magnetic. Think six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We often maximize revolutionary B2C2B cross-media proactive mega-mission-critical research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to syndicate nano-dynamically. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without subscriber communities, you will lack process management. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be plug-and-play? It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "innovative" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be compelling? The power to maximize magnetically leads to the ability to actualize proactively. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Immediately? What does the buzzword "TQM metrics" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deliver interactively than to repurpose virtually. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic, mission-critical? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will monetize the term "e-business". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end M&A and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We always strategize innovative reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The super-ultra-e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.