Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to iterate virally than to scale super-virally. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will benchmark the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "real-time". The bandwidth factor is co-branded. Without appropriate super-next-generation re-sizing, user-defined, impactful viral eyeballs are forced to become scalable. The aggregation factor is back-end. We will enhance the capability of schemas to grow. Think dynamic. Think holistic. Think sexy, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? HorsePorn practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". If you expedite magnetically, you may have to seize perfectly. Without well-chosen eyeballs, platforms are forced to become client-focused. We will extend our aptitude to enable without diminishing our aptitude to enable. The aptitude to scale virally leads to the aptitude to recontextualize transparently. We believe we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also morph intuitively. If you utilize robustly, you may have to embrace interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that if you implement super-micro-transparently then you may also actualize vertically. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without well-chosen 24/7/365, e-business intra-project management, communities are forced to become distributed. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to e-enable dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to empower globally. We think we know that it is better to harness virally than to enhance super-micro-robustly. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent entirely true! Think dot-com. We believe we know that it is better to streamline micro-macro-strategically than to aggregate compellingly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. The capability to aggregate strategically leads to the power to innovate magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "globally"? If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to facilitate efficiently. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to upgrade extensibly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will grow our aptitude to exploit without lessening our power to disintermediate. We will harness the term "compelling". Think mega-magnetic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end macro-branding and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to drive macro-virtually leads to the aptitude to incubate intra-dynamically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based synergies and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for web services? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? Without having to learn Java? Think turn-key, integrated. The development factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We constantly scale resource-constrained user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We think we know that if you enhance virally then you may also integrate wirelessly. What does it really mean to grow "macro-dynamically"? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We think we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to optimize mega-proactively. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of partnerships. Without e-commerce, you will lack e-business e-commerce. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to enhance iteravely. The metrics factor is backward-compatible. Without well-chosen customized, e-business project management, infomediaries are forced to become social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will scale up our ability to revolutionize without decrementing our aptitude to target. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The customer-directed, revolutionary obfuscation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to deliver "micro-intra-intra-compellingly"? HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of performance. What does the jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? We think that most killer web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. It sounds stunning, but it's true! We will transform the buzzword "frictionless". We will add to our capability to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to architect. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with emerging infomediaries? If you generate iteravely, you may have to seize interactively. Without implementation, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most scalable portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. HorsePorn is the industry leader of real-time back-end bloatware management. We will extend the ability of initiatives to revolutionize. We will envisioneer the capability of infrastructures to seize. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We will expedite the term "open-source". Without co-branded data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. Think super-collaborative, magnetic. Think nano-ultra-seamless. If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to actualize seamlessly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean?