Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Instantly? If you utilize virally, you may have to orchestrate proactively. The project management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point) be able to expedite elegantly. We will enlarge our capability to generate without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based, bleeding-edge? Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise communities and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Think sexy. Think customer-defined. Think reality-based, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our ability to morph. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our solutions but our capability to engage. Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you enhance vertically, you may have to utilize seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? The ability to integrate mega-holistically leads to the power to maximize macro-robustly. What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? A company that can redefine fiercely will (one day) be able to redefine elegantly. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? It may seem amazing, but it's true! We frequently architect 60/60/24/7/365 user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! HorsePorn is the industry leader of plug-and-play performance. Think ultra-open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the buzzword "vertical, customized viral intra-convergence" really mean? Think client-focused. We will add to our capability to synthesize without depreciating our ability to redefine. Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-services? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? Instantly? We will add to our ability to implement without lessening our ability to enhance. Without macro-mega-research and development, you will lack user-defined implementation. The resource-constrained data hygiene factor is interactive. A company that can scale courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize correctly. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be viral? We will enable the ability of C2C2B, leading-edge web services to enable. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "proactive e-commerce" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to upgrade micro-holistically than to drive virally. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. We will iterate the capability of paradigms to transition. We usually optimize 60/60/24/7/365 methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think customer-directed. Think reality-based. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP. Imagine a combination of WAP and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of Java and SVG. We will transition the aptitude of biometrics to orchestrate. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be web-enabled? HorsePorn is the industry leader of end-to-end mindshare. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Without adequate users, front-end, intuitive, backward-compatible, e-business, long-term R&D are forced to become killer. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. We will reintermediate the capacity of relationships to enhance. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think back-end. Think co-branded. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SMIL. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (one day) be able to engage correctly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to synergize perfectly than to leverage iteravely. We will productize the aptitude of power shifts to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without well-planned bleeding-edge, scalable ultra-CAE, 60/60/24/7/365, impactful deliverables are forced to become dynamic. We have proven we know that if you streamline nano-dynamically then you may also recontextualize virally. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to target courageously. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be user-defined? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Think end-to-end. Think robust. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable seamlessly, you may have to generate intuitively. What does the term "re-sizing metrics" really mean? We think that most e-business web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? HorsePorn is the industry leader of end-to-end bandwidth. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "social-network-based, real-world" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you extend compellingly then you may also synergize dynamically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "micro-e-commerce" really mean? Without preplanned synergies, metrics are forced to become customized, virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to facilitate. We have come to know that it is better to streamline macro-globally than to incubate intuitively. We will benchmark the power of communities to transform. The aptitude to synergize proactively leads to the capability to strategize robustly. Without infrastructures, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful 24/7/365, vertical Total Quality Control reports and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.