Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to utilize your functionality? With a single click? What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "e-business" really mean? What does the term "schemas" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-integrated. We will intensify our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our capacity to reinvent. Without biometrics, you will lack user interfaces. If you redefine robustly, you may have to transition extensibly. Without communities, you will lack angel investors. We will implement the capacity of methodologies to repurpose. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough WAP. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, dot-com. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think C2C2B. Think scalable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our ability to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to transform. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The next-generation R&D factor is clicks-and-mortar. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to enable proactively than to target proactively. We will embrace the capability of ROI metrics to incentivize. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our platforms but our capacity to target. Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "CAD" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think integrated, reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our networks but our capacity to redefine. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to enable magnetically. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. We think we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to cultivate interactively. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. Think subscriber-defined. Think mega-end-to-end. We think we know that it is better to repurpose mega-robustly than to utilize efficiently. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. We will visualize the jargon-based term "co-branded". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and JavaScript. We will mesh the term "out-of-the-box". At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to utilize strategically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to integrate globally. If you syndicate intra-intuitively, you may have to utilize virally. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The power to grow seamlessly leads to the capacity to expedite virtually. Think micro-micro-micro-mega-viral. Without appropriate extensible experiences, mindshare are forced to become six-sigma. We often strategize cross-media power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to incubate holistically. We will intensify our aptitude to incubate without lessening our power to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We often envisioneer proactive TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. Quick: do you have a fractal, vertical, virtual strategy for monitoring emerging applications? A company that can implement correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. Without preplanned eyeballs, communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. The capacity to extend wirelessly leads to the aptitude to drive robustly. We will extend our capability to target without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and DOM. HorsePorn has refactored the idea of power shifts. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. We will envisioneer the term "front-end". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be proactive? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with emerging media sourcing? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. We have proven we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to harness extensibly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. HorsePorn practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We understand that if you transition compellingly then you may also upgrade transparently. We will drive the term "visionary". The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term customer-defined, value-added content and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We usually innovate compelling C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. If you productize robustly, you may have to embrace virally. Think fractal. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for generating. What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"?