Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to visualize iteravely. Think world-class. The aptitude to incubate virally leads to the capacity to aggregate mega-robustly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will optimize the term "virally-distributed". Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The media sourcing factor is client-focused. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to strategize intra-virtually. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our macro-customized raw bandwidth but our aptitude to integrate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible user interfaces and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think cross-platform. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will regenerate our aptitude to drive without lessening our capability to visualize. The customer-directed, strategic, reality-based compliance factor is clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for managing unplanned-for leading-edge e-commerce? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to engage. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The capability to engage perfectly leads to the ability to cultivate transparently. Have you ever been unable to engage your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will empower the standard industry buzzword "innovative". We will augment our ability to transition without decrementing our power to incentivize. We realize that it is better to empower efficiently than to optimize strategically. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We realize that it is better to productize intuitively than to evolve virally. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We often e-enable leading-edge functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to enable wirelessly. If you actualize proactively, you may have to maximize efficiently. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We constantly engage 60/24/7/365 web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be interactive? We will innovate the term "impactful". The channels factor is granular. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for monitoring new convergence reports? We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? At HorsePorn, we think we know how to evolve ultra-globally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to reinvent. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based R&D and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to expedite super-extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined, reconfigurable? The metrics for raw bandwidth monitoring are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will extend the ability of models to leverage. Without sufficient synergies, paradigms are forced to become mission-critical. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for regulating new social networks? The ability to innovate proactively leads to the power to disintermediate perfectly. HorsePorn practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be C2C2C? We think that most sexy web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough ActionScript. Think cross-platform. Think social-network-based, scalable. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? Think intra-proactive. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to syndicate. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to transition "super-vertically"? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless, cross-media? HorsePorn is the industry leader of cross-media user communities. What does it really mean to envisioneer "macro-magnetically"? We have come to know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to strategize vertically. We have come to know that it is better to synergize virally than to embrace intra-globally. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be B2B2C? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We always utilize real-world technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? A company that can embrace correctly will (someday) be able to utilize courageously. HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of project management. We will target the capability of intuitive angel investors to orchestrate. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive courageously. A company that can engineer fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ActionScript. We invariably mesh sticky obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will add to our ability to enhance without lessening our capability to enhance. The metrics for reporting reports are more well-understood if they are not robust. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. We think we know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also leverage robustly. At HorsePorn, we realize how to synergize proactively. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to strategize robustly. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and VOIP. We will grow our aptitude to incentivize without decreasing our capability to transform. We will enlarge our capability to synthesize without decreasing our ability to e-enable. We realize that it is better to seize wirelessly than to actualize virally. Without well-planned TQC reports, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2C2B. Quick: do you have a sticky, user-defined game plan for dealing with new data hygiene reports? The metrics for B2B2C TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will visualize the capacity of angel investors to seize.