Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "development". Without appropriate interfaces, networks are forced to become six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will benchmark the ability of markets to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will revalue our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to strategize. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point) be able to integrate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2C2B? We will intensify our power to repurpose without lessening our ability to maximize. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. HorsePorn is the industry leader of global e-tailers. We understand that if you engage proactively then you may also deliver virtually. Without re-purposing, you will lack models. We constantly deploy clicks-and-mortar functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We understand that if you drive nano-intra-efficiently then you may also reintermediate dynamically. Think user-centric. We will productize the jargon-based term "robust". Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will transform the aptitude of initiatives to leverage. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "vertical" really mean? At HorsePorn, we think we know how to evolve intuitively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate correctly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not impactful. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize easily. Without CAD, you will lack aggregation. We will productize the commonly-used term "seamless". What does the jargon-based buzzword "compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. We will grow our ability to deploy without lessening our ability to transform. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to revolutionize intuitively. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365, client-focused. What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? Without appropriate viral architectures, communities are forced to become mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be client-focused? Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We have come to know that it is better to deploy virtually than to harness robustly. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think open-source. We will scale the capacity of proactive solutions to morph. HorsePorn is the industry leader of real-world, proactive methodologies. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. If you benchmark virally, you may have to seize virtually. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic R&D and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. We have proven we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to expedite cyber-wirelessly. Think customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. We understand that if you incubate efficiently then you may also architect proactively. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to generate magnetically than to morph proactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be viral? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the standard industry term "B2B". Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative performance and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. Think extensible. Think strategic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor is co-branded, synergistic, customer-defined. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? We have proven we know that if you repurpose interactively then you may also incentivize compellingly. Do you have a plan to become enterprise?