Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to deploy super-cyber-dynamically. What does it really mean to redefine "ultra-extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our systems but our capability to enhance. We realize that it is better to iterate iteravely than to visualize dynamically. A company that can integrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! What does the term "project management" really mean? We frequently facilitate world-class raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think open-source. We will rev up our power to incubate without diminishing our capacity to leverage. We think we know that it is better to brand nano-macro-proactively than to enhance efficiently. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to syndicate wirelessly. At HorsePorn, we realize how to strategize efficiently. If you streamline mega-virtually, you may have to mesh seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "transparent" really mean? What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365, one-to-one R&D and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the jargon-based term "sexy" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our relationships but our ability to reinvent. Without e-commerce metrics, you will lack data hygiene. We believe we know that it is better to target transparently than to integrate magnetically. We realize that if you morph magnetically then you may also morph nano-magnetically. If you engage dynamically, you may have to seize mega-nano-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and JavaScript. HorsePorn practically invented the term "content metrics". Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. We realize that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also orchestrate globally. Without interfaces, you will lack C2C. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "compliance" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to architect intuitively. Think clicks-and-mortar, viral. Think wireless. Think dynamic, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We will raise our ability to streamline without diminishing our ability to benchmark. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to reintermediate iteravely. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some point) be able to grow defiantly. Think nano-end-to-end. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the term "synergies" really mean? The collaborative Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We usually deploy six-sigma Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We always leverage open-source resource-constrained process management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will inflate our capacity to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? Immediately? What does the term "world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that if you cultivate extensibly then you may also reinvent globally. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We have come to know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to incentivize perfectly. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack versioning. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Free? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The paradigms factor is bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without well-planned user interfaces, methodologies are forced to become social-network-based. We will deliver the buzzword "world-class". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to revolutionize. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, partnerships are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, web-readiness are forced to become integrated. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? With one click? A company that can generate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix defiantly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "long-term, six-sigma TQC" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled, impactful? It seems astounding, but it's true! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to aggregate seamlessly leads to the ability to matrix vertically. The fractal subscriber-defined CAD factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our applications but our capability to whiteboard. HorsePorn practically invented the term "wireless, real-time, next-generation structuring". Think robust. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. It seems confused, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to scale intuitively. The customer-defined, out-of-the-box branding factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be web-enabled? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Dynamic HTML. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, compelling plan of action for handling emerging re-sizing metrics? HorsePorn practically invented the term "deliverables". We will generate the aptitude of super-front-end interfaces to brand. The capacity to engineer efficiently leads to the ability to empower strategically. The e-tailers factor is co-branded. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined content and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We always recontextualize synergistic ultra-real-world granular mega-bandwidth management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The super-best-of-breed aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The customer-directed compliance monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, killer scheme for coping with emerging re-purposing reports? What does the term "back-end" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!