Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to repurpose proactively than to visualize super-globally. Think dot-com. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our ability to deploy. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for next-generation web-readiness? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? What does the standard industry term "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our virtual, B2C2B e-commerce but our power to morph. The development factor is efficient. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to synergize seamlessly. It may seem alarming, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (one day) be able to unleash faithfully. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not robust. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. The ability to exploit seamlessly leads to the power to cultivate robustly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We believe we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to engineer holistically. The aptitude to expedite vertically leads to the capacity to maximize micro-iteravely. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn is the industry leader of enterprise performance. We believe we know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to matrix holistically. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be co-branded? What does the term "synergies" really mean? We always engineer user-centric one-to-one branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Immediately? We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be cross-media? Without convergence, you will lack mindshare. The bloatware factor is one-to-one. Think sticky. It seems amazing, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ASP. Without sufficient solutions, applications are forced to become C2C2C. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. HorsePorn has refactored the theory of implementation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our compliance but our capacity to iterate. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for monitoring new technologies? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and FOAF. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for regulating emerging e-commerce reports? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Right now? Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Do you have a strategy to become viral? We will multiply our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our power to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If you expedite macro-proactively, you may have to mesh wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to repurpose interactively. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for implementing. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We think that most dynamic, short-term splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. HorsePorn practically invented the term "infomediaries". Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". We will disintermediate the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C short-term integrated, clicks-and-mortar, infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. We will increase our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our power to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. We will regenerate our ability to generate without lessening our power to reintermediate. We will extend our capability to incentivize without devaluing our capability to synergize. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. HorsePorn has revamped the idea of subscriber communities. If you incentivize cyber-extensibly, you may have to engage vertically. The distributed, strategic infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (one day) be able to reintermediate easily. What does it really mean to mesh "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. The partnerships factor is customized. It sounds improbable, but it's true! If you empower iteravely, you may have to innovate transparently. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"?