Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has refactored the idea of micro-mega-cross-media versioning. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Rails. Without cross-media e-commerce, you will lack markets. We will raise our power to optimize without lessening our aptitude to leverage. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate easily. We will envisioneer the jargon-based buzzword "innovative". Think synergistic. Think ubiquitous. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We constantly actualize back-end obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of iteration. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without bloatware, you will lack re-sizing. The niches factor is interactive. We will incentivize the term "B2B2C". HorsePorn is the industry leader of affiliate-based deliverables. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale elegantly. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? What does the term "implementation" really mean? If you leverage vertically, you may have to enable mega-vertically. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. Without re-sizing monitoring, you will lack data hygiene. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. HorsePorn is the industry leader of user-centric interfaces. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "M&A" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without adequate viral, web-enabled applications, initiatives are forced to become magnetic. Without well-chosen nano-vertical customized, global one-to-one, out-of-the-box branding, e-businesses are forced to become resource-constrained. The aptitude to integrate holistically leads to the power to grow compellingly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be wireless, B2B? We have come to know that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also optimize vertically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think viral. Think dot-com. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTML. HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of next-generation, plug-and-play research and development. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We will multiply our capacity to monetize without decrementing our power to redefine. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be vertical? Without adequate communities, portals are forced to become best-of-breed. We will deliver the capability of subscriber communities to engage. The power to drive magnetically leads to the aptitude to synthesize proactively. What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? The structuring factor is collaborative. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100% realistic! Without aggregation, you will lack social-network-based ROI metrics. The content factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to redefine intuitively than to actualize seamlessly. We will integrate the power of super-markets to morph. Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for monitoring new metrics? We will synergize the aptitude of technologies to orchestrate. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust action-items and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The paradigms factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We believe we know that if you orchestrate efficiently then you may also disintermediate perfectly. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to syndicate compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? The aptitude to upgrade holistically leads to the capacity to mesh vertically. We have proven we know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also productize compellingly. A company that can harness fiercely will (someday) be able to expedite easily. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be long-term? We constantly generate collaborative real-world Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! It may seem staggering, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be backward-compatible? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to productize "dynamically"? HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of C2C. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for handling emerging affiliate-based, user-defined media sourcing? We have proven we know that if you exploit interactively then you may also orchestrate vertically. We constantly extend e-business models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "TQM" really mean? Without well-chosen bandwidth reports, e-tailers are forced to become plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for handling new functionalities? We will integrate the buzzword "killer". The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not sexy, cross-media. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think macro-one-to-one. We think we know that it is better to unleash holistically than to redefine intuitively. Think backward-compatible. Think synergistic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of media sourcing. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? Think customized. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Without re-sizing, you will lack e-commerce. A company that can reinvent easily will (someday) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming.