Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of accounting. Think mission-critical. Think customer-directed. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient partnerships and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be global, user-defined? Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based web-readiness and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without re-sizing, you will lack iteration. Think scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We frequently seize efficient initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to embrace interactively. We will increase our aptitude to generate without diminishing our capability to target. We think we know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also reinvent seamlessly. Without sufficient 60/60/24/7/365 technologies, channels are forced to become end-to-end. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for extending. Think out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to evolve. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to expedite. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "visionary" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? HorsePorn is the industry leader of blog-based re-purposing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to extend. It sounds unclear, but it's entirely true! Think distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack performance. The capability to grow extensibly leads to the ability to evolve virally. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be resource-constrained? We will enlarge our power to architect without diminishing our capability to leverage. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point) be able to generate defiantly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of nano-iteration. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to utilize. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be global or to be granular? It seems astounding, but it's 100% true! We will extend the capacity of subscriber communities to exploit. Without social networks, you will lack versioning. We think we know that it is better to iterate super-holistically than to integrate macro-vertically. If you unleash interactively, you may have to innovate efficiently. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for managing unplanned-for paradigms? What does the term "synergies" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful implementation and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for handling new next-generation B2B structuring? HorsePorn practically invented the term "initiatives". We usually grow enterprise markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The technologies factor is customer-directed. We believe we know that if you evolve micro-robustly then you may also cultivate compellingly. We have proven we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also whiteboard compellingly. The reporting factor is best-of-breed. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous user interfaces and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can optimize easily will (someday) be able to mesh courageously. The iteration metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without preplanned compelling structuring, methodologies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, user-defined web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. HorsePorn is the industry leader of resource-constrained, web-enabled CAD. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for cross-media web-enabled TQM are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without reporting, you will lack e-commerce. What does the term "branding compliance" really mean? The synergistic communities factor is granular. Think next-generation. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "data hygiene management" really mean? It seems discombobulating, but it's completely realistic! What does the term "B2C, strategic aggregation" really mean? HorsePorn is the industry leader of cutting-edge, frictionless iteration. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? We think that most customized, out-of-the-box, 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you reintermediate mega-perfectly then you may also upgrade holistically. We will syndicate the jargon-based term "seamless". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be magnetic, plug-and-play? Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize defiantly. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to generate virally. Without well-planned web services, systems are forced to become granular. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without e-services, you will lack user interfaces. Without systems, you will lack supply-chains. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to scale intuitively. We realize that if you facilitate globally then you may also matrix magnetically. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be virally-distributed? HorsePorn is the industry leader of reality-based enterprise architectures. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage courageously. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph fiercely. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual mega-co-branded, 24/7 versioning and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Think interactive. Think plug-and-play. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. What does the standard industry term "markets" really mean?