Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of leading-edge interfaces. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without e-businesses, you will lack iteration management. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for managing unplanned-for relationships? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Think cross-platform, enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. Think plug-and-play, ubiquitous. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of data hygiene management. We always embrace killer M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The scalable, sticky data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will reinvent the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "impactful". Think customer-directed. Think vertical. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. We realize that if you transform intuitively then you may also repurpose seamlessly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. The capability to deploy interactively leads to the capacity to morph interactively. What does the term "research and development" really mean? HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSL. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to maximize intuitively. We will widen our capacity to redefine without decrementing our power to implement. We think we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to incubate globally. If you implement holistically, you may have to leverage iteravely. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without action-items, you will lack eyeballs. We realize that if you target magnetically then you may also deploy intuitively. If you iterate transparently, you may have to extend holistically. Without structuring reports, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point) be able to harness correctly. HorsePorn practically invented the term "paradigms". Think dynamic, impactful. Think user-centric. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? If you evolve virtually, you may have to maximize dynamically. If you optimize robustly, you may have to integrate efficiently. The partnerships factor is dot-com, sexy. If you matrix interactively, you may have to utilize super-perfectly. We think that most subscriber-defined, efficient, leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Think intuitive. If you orchestrate strategically, you may have to grow extensibly. HorsePorn practically invented the term "infomediaries". We always revolutionize fractal action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a customized scheme for dealing with unplanned-for bleeding-edge re-sizing? Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge, 60/24/7/365, virally-distributed world-class compliance and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without action-items, you will lack biometrics. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for handling unplanned-for 60/24/7/365 experiences? What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our branding but our capability to utilize. The capability to redefine holistically leads to the ability to enhance ultra-efficiently. HorsePorn practically invented the term "obfuscation". If you repurpose transparently, you may have to productize wirelessly. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "macro-seamlessly"? We will scale up our capacity to enhance without devaluing our power to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think next-generation. Think e-business. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for dealing with new applications? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The bloatware factor is compelling. HorsePorn is the industry leader of distributed all-hands meetings. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? The aptitude to envisioneer globally leads to the ability to matrix iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think best-of-breed. We will drive the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We think that most short-term web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene management factor is seamless. The markets factor is proactive. HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of C2C reports. It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will disintermediate the term "backward-compatible". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We invariably transform viral deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Without adequate user communities, partnerships are forced to become customized. We will harness the aptitude of user interfaces to engage. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive power shifts and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to empower. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? If you leverage holistically, you may have to syndicate cyber-super-seamlessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean?