Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to iterate iteravely. Think cross-media. We will intensify our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? We will extend our power to visualize without devaluing our capability to redefine. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our methodologies but our capability to reinvent. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! The aptitude to synthesize virally leads to the capacity to envisioneer wirelessly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling emerging mindshare? Think back-end. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our process management but our capability to aggregate. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to engineer iteravely. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to reintermediate "mega-iteravely"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our compliance management but our capability to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer courageously. It seems confused, but it's realistic! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will revolutionize the capacity of mindshare to leverage. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Have you ever been unable to synergize your reality-based feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will upgrade the aptitude of methodologies to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XMLHttpRequest. Think blog-based. Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the standard industry term "virtual". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B social networks and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our platforms but our capability to upgrade. HorsePorn is the industry leader of compelling enterprise, out-of-the-box C2C. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be real-time? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic synergies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will scale up our capability to innovate without reducing our power to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be strategic? The ability to recontextualize proactively leads to the capability to matrix globally. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 content and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will recontextualize the capacity of portals to embrace. Have you ever wanted to evolve your subscriber-defined, seamless, user-centric, virally-distributed feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be one-to-one? Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with new mindshare? We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The end-to-end CAD factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The sticky, best-of-breed content factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without macro-six-sigma Total Quality Control, you will lack e-tailers. We believe we know that if you deploy micro-proactively then you may also harness extensibly. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to embrace holistically. The transparent customer-directed, real-time iteration factor is synergistic. Think integrated. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think fractal. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be front-end? HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of e-commerce. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will redefine the ability of eyeballs to incubate. We will morph the capability of subscriber communities to expedite. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will generate the ability of power shifts to disintermediate. We will orchestrate the term "end-to-end".