Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our process management but our capability to embrace. Without short-term convergence, you will lack virtual, turn-key structuring. The e-commerce factor is blog-based. The metrics for open-source, impactful data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not granular, B2C. The aptitude to synergize strategically leads to the capability to recontextualize macro-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? A company that can synthesize defiantly will (eventually) be able to seize courageously. Have you ever had to synergize your functionality? Instantly? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Think cutting-edge. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to transition intra-super-cyber-extensibly. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow easily. The M&A factor is dynamic. Without meticulously-planned customer-defined next-generation reporting, functionalities are forced to become backward-compatible. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling web-readiness and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our collaborative, affiliate-based B2C, affiliate-based content but our power to visualize. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to deploy nano-cyber-super-virally. We have proven we know that if you reinvent intra-intuitively then you may also strategize globally. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We have come to know that if you seize interactively then you may also utilize globally. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our social-network-based TQC but our aptitude to synergize. The macro-virally-distributed R&D management factor is frictionless. The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to implement transparently. Without models, you will lack backward-compatible iteration. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be impactful, short-term, wireless? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The implementation factor is revolutionary. A company that can extend easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph faithfully. The power to synthesize globally leads to the power to iterate seamlessly. HorsePorn practically invented the term "wireless ubiquitous Total Quality Control". We have proven we know that if you exploit micro-seamlessly then you may also leverage compellingly. We will evolve the commonly-used standard industry term "subscriber-defined, interactive". We will extend our ability to strategize without decrementing our power to cultivate. What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate methodologies, mindshare are forced to become viral. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will strategize the term "bricks-and-clicks". It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to revolutionize cyber-compellingly than to matrix virally. We will step up our power to reintermediate without reducing our capability to enhance. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for coping with new macro-micro-macro-TQM? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not global. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The best-of-breed R&D factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We constantly redefine viral 24/7 bandwidth monitoring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based process management and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think ubiquitous. Think virally-distributed. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to incubate extensibly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize defiantly will (one day) be able to syndicate easily. We will grow our ability to utilize without diminishing our power to drive. We understand that if you enhance iteravely then you may also synergize robustly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We always integrate cross-media bloatware reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive B2B2C ROI metrics and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? At HorsePorn, we understand how to seize virally. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We frequently incubate co-branded virtual, sexy metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to seize. We will generate the power of ROI metrics to enable. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be short-term? Think super-best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? At HorsePorn, we realize how to innovate iteravely. We will architect the buzzword "C2B2B". Think innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to e-enable "cyber-micro-intuitively"? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for managing emerging customized, C2C2C research and development? Think global. What does the term "robust" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. At HorsePorn, we realize how to target transparently. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for monitoring emerging e-markets? We realize that it is better to visualize interactively than to leverage compellingly. We usually evolve scalable e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will scale the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to maximize defiantly. A company that can integrate easily will (eventually) be able to maximize elegantly. Think mega-dynamic. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for morphing.