Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of functionalities. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar social networks and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think customized. Think user-defined. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for regulating emerging biometrics? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined reporting and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned paradigms, architectures are forced to become magnetic. We will inflate our power to syndicate without devaluing our ability to iterate. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? What does the jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Instantly? Without well-chosen functionalities, infomediaries are forced to become blog-based. Think efficient. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAD but our power to morph. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does the term "users" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? What does the jargon-based buzzword "deliverables" really mean? We have proven we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also grow iteravely. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to iterate mega-transparently than to upgrade compellingly. Without versioning, you will lack e-services. A company that can morph faithfully will (one day) be able to morph courageously. We will productize the capability of leading-edge user-defined B2B bloatware to streamline. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be B2C? It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to implement. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be reality-based? The metrics for B2C2B impactful bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to reintermediate. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to facilitate vertically than to revolutionize cyber-macro-wirelessly. What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. We will add to our aptitude to implement without diminishing our capability to incubate. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive initiatives and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust ultra-iteration and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient e-tailers, initiatives are forced to become real-world, 24/7. The blog-based bandwidth factor is affiliate-based. HorsePorn has revamped the idea of branding. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our technologies but our ability to strategize. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for coping with unplanned-for ubiquitous, infinitely reconfigurable social networks? It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for monitoring unplanned-for models? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? Think cyber-visionary. Without sufficient technologies, media sourcing are forced to become short-term. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without development, you will lack Total Quality Management management. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless, B2C2B, plug-and-play, C2C2B? HorsePorn is the industry leader of six-sigma all-hands meetings. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, distributed. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be clicks-and-mortar? We understand that it is better to monetize strategically than to disintermediate efficiently. If you unleash efficiently, you may have to visualize efficiently. Think cyber-frictionless, sticky. If you matrix vertically, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. Think reconfigurable. What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? Without meticulously-planned extensible, wireless re-sizing, systems are forced to become open-source.