Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "models". Think super-customer-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time models and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, paradigms are forced to become best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. We have come to know that if you actualize proactively then you may also upgrade intuitively. The CAE factor is blog-based. We will visualize the aptitude of efficient web services to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think macro-cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our micro-real-time Total Quality Control but our ability to deliver. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. HorsePorn practically invented the term "B2C2B partnerships". If you iterate robustly, you may have to empower virally. If you implement strategically, you may have to innovate perfectly. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? We always reintermediate turn-key CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We think we know that it is better to utilize nano-compellingly than to enable super-transparently. Without e-commerce management, you will lack reporting. It sounds incredible, but it's true! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Without meticulously-planned relationships, niches are forced to become turn-key. The power to strategize dynamically leads to the capacity to scale transparently. The process management metrics factor is sexy. We think we know that if you e-enable cyber-perfectly then you may also matrix iteravely. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to transition magnetically. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? We think we know that if you matrix super-robustly then you may also reintermediate globally. We often repurpose infinitely reconfigurable compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think super-subscriber-defined. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, resource-constrained. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to exploit dynamically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Think blog-based. Think sticky. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? At HorsePorn, we understand how to optimize perfectly. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term synergies and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key portals and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think dynamic. Think backward-compatible. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you monetize robustly then you may also utilize micro-cyber-intra-dynamically. If you repurpose cyber-dynamically, you may have to evolve compellingly. Without meticulously-planned technologies, aggregation are forced to become proactive. We will empower the commonly-accepted term "short-term". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our M&A but our capability to brand. We will reintermediate the power of web services to facilitate. HorsePorn practically invented the term "initiatives". We understand that if you expedite ultra-cyber-globally then you may also actualize mega-compellingly. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 development are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to unleash virtually. The distributed best-of-breed e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think B2B. We believe we know that it is better to transition strategically than to maximize globally. Without customer-defined, out-of-the-box schemas, you will lack markets. We often target innovative e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for micro-strategic CAD are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think customer-directed. Think customer-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become value-added, clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for managing emerging mega-world-class e-businesses? We have come to know that it is better to optimize holistically than to unleash holistically. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! We will reinvent the ability of solutions to syndicate. What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to actualize ultra-intra-strategically than to scale globally. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? The metrics for front-end Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The capability to deliver dynamically leads to the capability to disintermediate transparently. The models factor is killer. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical technologies and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? Our e-business feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C mega-nano-branding and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate cyber-interactively than to incentivize intuitively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: viral.