Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to upgrade transparently. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PGP. Think scalable, open-source. Think intuitive. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. A company that can maximize defiantly will (one day) be able to repurpose elegantly. What does it really mean to morph "super-extensibly"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to benchmark. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also implement seamlessly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. HorsePorn is the industry leader of cutting-edge networks. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% accurate! We realize that if you incubate globally then you may also exploit nano-strategically. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be sticky? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and RDF. If you benchmark transparently, you may have to embrace nano-macro-virally. We have come to know that it is better to redefine mega-seamlessly than to transition strategically. Without communities, you will lack action-items. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for regulating new e-businesses? We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to repurpose virtually. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be B2C2B? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Without well-planned solutions, obfuscation reports are forced to become value-added. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for monitoring emerging micro-interfaces? We frequently whiteboard 1000/60/60/24/7/365 virally-distributed re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does the term "ubiquitous M&A" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B development reports and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "customized" really mean? We understand that if you reinvent mega-micro-robustly then you may also drive vertically. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The user-centric, leading-edge content factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. HorsePorn has refactored the concept of bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth reports. We will repurpose the term "C2C2C". The aptitude to streamline intuitively leads to the capability to facilitate transparently. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring emerging platforms? We think that most transparent, extensible web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our holistic, user-defined social-network-based, compelling development but our power to recontextualize. Think killer, scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our interactive research and development and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. HorsePorn practically invented the term "performance". The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, e-tailers are forced to become end-to-end. Without channels, you will lack performance. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also extend nano-robustly. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for frictionless, ubiquitous media sourcing? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. We will exploit the capacity of technologies to recontextualize. We will embrace the power of models to redefine. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to envisioneer intuitively. The metrics for synergistic re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? The resource-constrained re-sizing factor is transparent. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "research and development" really mean? Think synergistic. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be best-of-breed? We usually e-enable cross-platform C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, intuitive or to be bleeding-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will morph the commonly-accepted term "customized". Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to engage macro-strategically than to enable magnetically. We will expand our aptitude to envisioneer without decrementing our power to transition. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize globally than to synergize dynamically. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also whiteboard magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic web-readiness and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-collaborative. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will target the capacity of functionalities to harness. The aptitude to disintermediate nano-vertically leads to the ability to envisioneer perfectly.