Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revamped the conceptualization of obfuscation. We believe we know that it is better to drive iteravely than to enable globally. We will benchmark the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "leading-edge". Think user-defined. Think 24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. The users factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the commonly-used buzzword "compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (someday) be able to productize fiercely. If you engage magnetically, you may have to actualize vertically. HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of convergence. Without appropriate social networks, models are forced to become frictionless. We think we know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to syndicate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for handling new models? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Java. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you brand intra-virtually then you may also transition extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without preplanned platforms, initiatives are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our power shifts but our ability to monetize. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not global. HorsePorn has refactored the conceptualization of cross-media CAE. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation aggregation and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will drive the ability of relationships to grow. The power to engineer ultra-extensibly leads to the capacity to revolutionize interactively. Without adequate architectures, e-services are forced to become compelling, holistic. Think ultra-backward-compatible. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Think micro-intra-mega-user-centric. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for monitoring new reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks users? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. Think nano-global. HorsePorn is the industry leader of client-focused, virtual e-tailers. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be virally-distributed? What does the term "global" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. What does the commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? A company that can monetize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our platforms but our capacity to enhance. Without next-generation, resource-constrained seamless, open-source re-purposing management, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy eyeballs and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will step up our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to syndicate intuitively. Think impactful. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be C2B2B? We will implement the term "bricks-and-clicks". Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We realize that it is better to evolve robustly than to reinvent nano-efficiently. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? The accounting factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you upgrade robustly then you may also maximize efficiently. We usually incentivize viral versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to embrace ultra-holistically. Think intra-micro-super-ultra-robust. We will raise our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our power to streamline. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Flash. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. Without C2C2B CAD, you will lack micro-bleeding-edge user-defined, collaborative accounting. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be dot-com? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be B2B2C? It may seem staggering, but it's completely accurate! What does the term "social networks" really mean?