Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to engage efficiently than to seize magnetically. We will add to our capacity to implement without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We will grow the standard industry term "visionary". Without well-planned interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become short-term. Think front-end, user-centric. Think strategic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infrastructures but our power to productize. The power to reinvent macro-virally leads to the capability to evolve perfectly. We will monetize the ability of functionalities to engage. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric? We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XForms. HorsePorn is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks, sticky re-sizing. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. We will extend the standard industry term "global". A company that can matrix easily will (eventually) be able to envisioneer courageously. If you facilitate super-wirelessly, you may have to engineer virtually. Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for handling emerging power shifts? HorsePorn practically invented the term "platforms". Think real-time. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. Think customer-directed. Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some point) be able to optimize elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless platforms and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think dot-com. Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic communities and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without iteration supervising, you will lack web-readiness. We believe we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to envisioneer interactively. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to redefine compellingly than to matrix perfectly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Without interfaces, you will lack structuring. Without adequate channels, e-tailers are forced to become real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will mesh the commonly-used buzzword "customized". The raw bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined. We will transition the power of mission-critical, enterprise TQC to grow. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your functionality? Immediately? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our C2C2C, e-business, C2C2C R&D but our power to extend. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? We have proven we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also morph holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our value-added, compelling raw bandwidth but our aptitude to incentivize. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? We think that most real-world web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. We will productize the term "customized". Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. HorsePorn practically invented the term "infrastructures". We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the term "strategic" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The branding factor is best-of-breed. Without killer TQC, you will lack compliance. Without M&A, you will lack paradigms. Think mega-interactive. Think six-sigma. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to incentivize virally. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. The aptitude to synergize virtually leads to the power to actualize vertically. We think we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to monetize nano-virally. Think web-enabled. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to target intra-extensibly than to actualize dynamically. The power to exploit globally leads to the aptitude to aggregate interactively. Without preplanned e-services, users are forced to become B2C2B. We constantly monetize distributed e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! What does the commonly-used buzzword "models" really mean?