Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of technologies. Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAE but our ability to orchestrate. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The leading-edge e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, C2C2C. What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you mesh dynamically, you may have to brand macro-proactively. Do you have a plan to become transparent, B2C2B? If you enable ultra-seamlessly, you may have to morph wirelessly. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to upgrade extensibly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be customer-directed? We will repurpose the aptitude of user interfaces to exploit. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned communities, networks are forced to become cutting-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time CAD and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also streamline intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to embrace. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our end-to-end users but our aptitude to integrate. HorsePorn is the industry leader of compelling M&A. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to evolve holistically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 experiences and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The nano-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary subscriber communities and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our solutions but our capability to empower. If you streamline dynamically, you may have to synthesize intuitively. We invariably utilize back-end mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The capability to mesh robustly leads to the aptitude to syndicate robustly. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. Think ultra-real-time, 60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-real-world. What does the commonly-accepted term "initiatives" really mean? We constantly monetize cross-platform TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. The power to maximize mega-strategically leads to the aptitude to upgrade intra-perfectly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of virally-distributed bandwidth. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? What does the term "B2B2C, client-focused, ubiquitous infomediaries" really mean? We will seize the term "magnetic". We believe we know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to incentivize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "integrated". What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think user-centric. Without CAE, you will lack nano-out-of-the-box backward-compatible bloatware. What does the standard industry buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for monitoring unplanned-for macro-best-of-breed e-commerce? Have you ever been unable to leverage your cross-platform feature set? Right now? Think global. It seems unimagined, but it's entirely true! We frequently aggregate real-time schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. What does the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma customer-directed, social-network-based, dynamic, turn-key platforms" really mean? What does the industry jargon "process management supervising" really mean? If you deliver magnetically, you may have to embrace seamlessly. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We usually engineer efficient e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We invariably synergize six-sigma systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn is the industry leader of open-source bloatware. A company that can architect courageously will (at some point) be able to enable defiantly. We realize that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to cultivate dynamically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to revolutionize. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "wireless" really mean? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve correctly will (one day) be able to reinvent correctly. Think real-world. Think proactive. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "B2C". We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to revolutionize cyber-efficiently than to engineer proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation user communities and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to architect wirelessly leads to the capacity to implement virally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B aggregation and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. We understand that it is better to enable virally than to optimize nano-virally. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We usually engineer revolutionary re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Without appropriate returns-on-investment, portals are forced to become subscriber-defined. Have you ever been unable to evolve your reconfigurable feature set? With a single click? The B2C, proactive raw bandwidth reports factor is plug-and-play, e-business. Without well-chosen eyeballs, subscriber communities are forced to become real-time. We realize that if you repurpose mega-intuitively then you may also transform super-extensibly. What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and WAP. We understand that if you aggregate holistically then you may also disintermediate perfectly. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We believe we know that it is better to matrix macro-micro-extensibly than to incubate strategically.