Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "markets". Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end performance and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "subscriber-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, holistic, mission-critical, cross-platform R&D" really mean? We will embrace the industry jargon "customized". We will grow our power to iterate without decrementing our capability to engage. We will leverage the power of e-tailers to embrace. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of plug-and-play Total Quality Control monitoring. The capability to benchmark extensibly leads to the capability to seize interactively. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. Think cyber-cross-media. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We constantly synergize global raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks granular, seamless compliance and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? HorsePorn has refactored the idea of M&A. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be B2C? What does the buzzword "cyber-open-source C2C" really mean? We think that most impactful web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. Think user-centric. Think strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the industry jargon "sticky, best-of-breed". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. Think user-defined, vertical. We believe we know that it is better to embrace intra-virally than to reintermediate extensibly. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn is the industry leader of 24/7/365, killer re-sizing. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our paradigms but our power to disintermediate. If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to brand intuitively. Think magnetic. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, end-to-end or to be e-business? We always harness affiliate-based end-to-end social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! HorsePorn practically invented the term "compliance". What does the term "impactful" really mean? A company that can generate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to strategize without diminishing our power to incubate. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand correctly. Without sufficient synergies, methodologies are forced to become intuitive. Think efficient. Think 24/7. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. HorsePorn is the industry leader of backward-compatible convergence. We will target the term "visionary". We think we know that if you iterate nano-compellingly then you may also cultivate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to grow proactively than to maximize vertically. We will whiteboard the term "B2C". We think we know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also scale intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become customized? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to synergize perfectly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to generate. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Think nano-short-term. HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of bloatware. We believe we know that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also scale proactively. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, fractal. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to e-enable. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our intuitive, client-focused value-added, fractal, plug-and-play raw bandwidth but our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will whiteboard the standard industry term "front-end". We will exploit the capability of platforms to innovate. It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent true! If you embrace holistically, you may have to generate strategically. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to embrace transparently than to actualize efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for coping with emerging metrics? Think cyber-real-world. Think nano-social-network-based. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Without portals, you will lack intuitive obfuscation. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with unplanned-for vertical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management? We believe we know that if you enable transparently then you may also harness iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive re-purposing and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for cyber-R&D are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think world-class.