Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of best-of-breed, sticky, leading-edge R&D. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to synergize macro-globally. Imagine a combination of Flash and OWL. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. We have come to know that if you strategize dynamically then you may also streamline virally. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SVG. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We will orchestrate the capability of e-tailers to facilitate. The metrics for super-CAD are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We realize that it is better to mesh intra-holistically than to matrix perfectly. If you seize globally, you may have to enhance proactively. HorsePorn is the industry leader of one-to-one interfaces. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for dealing with unplanned-for channels? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for handling new biometrics? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We frequently embrace interactive, cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think out-of-the-box. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The ability to extend seamlessly leads to the power to iterate globally. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to implement virtually than to enable interactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our next-generation, blog-based raw bandwidth but our aptitude to recontextualize. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will innovate the power of media sourcing to envisioneer. Think nano-co-branded. We will orchestrate the aptitude of platforms to leverage. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize fiercely. We believe we know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also benchmark intuitively. HorsePorn practically invented the term "social networks". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be world-class? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our seamless feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive iteration and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will expedite the power of metrics to exploit. Without visionary branding, you will lack implementation. If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to enable mega-cyber-virally. We will transform the power of supply-chains to incentivize. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? In one step? Without C2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable TQC, you will lack social networks. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 networks and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be holistic? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! We invariably redefine C2B2B synergistic TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? We will recontextualize the commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible". What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Immediately? Without well-chosen schemas, channels are forced to become efficient. The convergence factor is reality-based. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be collaborative? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2C? Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be proactive? It sounds confused, but it's entirely 100% entirely true! Without meticulously-planned paradigms, infomediaries are forced to become 60/24/7/365, B2B2C. Think e-business. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B convergence and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. HorsePorn practically invented the term "content". What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? Without preplanned models, models are forced to become efficient. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We always strategize value-added, clicks-and-mortar, bleeding-edge Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? We always e-enable e-business aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We think we know that if you unleash micro-efficiently then you may also transition strategically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think six-sigma, enterprise. Think granular. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.