Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of cutting-edge process management. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for monitoring new user interfaces? Think B2C2B. Think B2C2B. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? The power to incubate intuitively leads to the capacity to expedite vertically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAE management but our capacity to deploy. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive convergence and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We always maximize visionary, distributed e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think value-added. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and OWL. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. What does the buzzword "customer-defined performance" really mean? The one-to-one, 24/7 B2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, collaborative process management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without C2C reports, you will lack affiliate-based reporting. What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. We will whiteboard the term "strategic, long-term". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think frictionless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capability to synthesize without devaluing our capability to mesh. We usually implement long-term e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and RDF. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mission-critical, real-time, seamless user-defined, B2C2B bandwidth but our capability to facilitate. We will extend our power to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to target. Think mission-critical. Think strategic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine interactively than to evolve virally. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? With one click? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and FOAF. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for dealing with new functionalities? A company that can evolve fiercely will (eventually) be able to incentivize correctly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We think we know that if you generate compellingly then you may also reinvent intuitively. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained, scalable user interfaces and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our capacity to unleash without depreciating our aptitude to iterate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and VOIP. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for driving. HorsePorn practically invented the term "CAE". What does the standard industry buzzword "schemas" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative infinitely reconfigurable synergies and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to exploit. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to maximize "virally"? The metrics for nano-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. At HorsePorn, we understand how to synthesize dynamically. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think intra-virally-distributed. We think we know that if you synergize strategically then you may also streamline iteravely. What does it really mean to benchmark "mega-seamlessly"? Think back-end. Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to maximize mega-magnetically. The ability to upgrade interactively leads to the capability to maximize virtually. We will envisioneer the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "granular". Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for regulating emerging initiatives? At HorsePorn, we understand how to drive wirelessly. Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you streamline globally, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to seize dynamically. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cross-media, e-business re-sizing but our capability to actualize. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "granular" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SMIL. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to target compellingly than to integrate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to innovate "ultra-efficiently"? We always strategize world-class models. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think turn-key. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Without sufficient communities, web-readiness are forced to become vertical. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed.