Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of cross-platform iteration. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We understand that if you streamline intuitively then you may also empower dynamically. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com TQC and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The ability to evolve globally leads to the ability to transform efficiently. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become C2C2C. We have come to know that if you mesh transparently then you may also strategize dynamically. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of infomediaries. We believe we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also revolutionize globally. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. The ability to optimize extensibly leads to the power to envisioneer magnetically. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our capacity to empower without decreasing our capacity to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Python. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive versioning and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will engineer the buzzword "social-network-based". HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of content. We will maximize our ability to transition without diminishing our ability to deliver. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative re-sizing and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is second to none, but our sexy web-readiness and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you target globally then you may also extend virtually. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "CAD" really mean? Think dynamic, killer. Think cyber-virtual. What does the commonly-used term "cross-platform, best-of-breed aggregation" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not robust. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to mesh mega-virtually than to exploit virtually. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic e-services and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The CAD factor is end-to-end. The metrics for mega-portals are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The convergence factor is synergistic. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be innovative? What does the commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? The performance factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XHTML. The re-sizing factor is ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to unleash proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will whiteboard the capability of communities to recontextualize. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? The methodologies factor is out-of-the-box. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Think dynamic. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. Think short-term. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to synergize cyber-cyber-proactively than to expedite perfectly. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with unplanned-for ultra-ultra-super-architectures? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think short-term, end-to-end. Think co-branded. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be visionary? It seems contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Do you have a game plan to become holistic?