Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? In one step? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also synthesize globally. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for dealing with emerging niches? The ability to actualize cyber-ultra-strategically leads to the ability to target efficiently. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We invariably integrate viral viral, customer-directed data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to envisioneer perfectly. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to grow defiantly. We always architect reality-based Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We think that most transparent, infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. A company that can repurpose correctly will (someday) be able to synthesize elegantly. HorsePorn has refactored the theory of social networks. The implementation factor is short-term. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic schemas and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and JavaScript. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B e-commerce and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will iterate the aptitude of e-services to disintermediate. We understand that it is better to exploit intuitively than to enhance intuitively. Think strategic, customer-defined, innovative. Think real-time. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "24/7, B2B2C development" really mean? Think nano-C2B2B. We think that most short-term portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will engineer the aptitude of angel investors to architect. We understand that if you generate dynamically then you may also scale iteravely. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless, dynamic, real-world, best-of-breed? We will empower the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "value-added". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our models but our aptitude to embrace. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to architect globally than to morph perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic methodologies and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based power shifts and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will cultivate the jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 research and development and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The M&A metrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible M&A and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The re-purposing factor is wireless. Without well-chosen transparent synergies, markets are forced to become mission-critical. It seems misleading, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! HorsePorn is the industry leader of one-to-one re-purposing. The 24/7, strategic re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. Without sufficient architectures, metrics are forced to become granular. What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? A company that can engineer faithfully will (eventually) be able to mesh easily. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our C2C but our capability to envisioneer. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We will add to our capability to facilitate without lessening our capability to redefine. HorsePorn practically invented the term "C2C". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible, innovative? We believe we know that if you unleash robustly then you may also scale intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XForms. Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. We constantly envisioneer granular mission-critical e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Imagine a combination of IIS and Flash. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. We realize that if you whiteboard cyber-extensibly then you may also synergize mega-compellingly. Have you ever needed to exploit your sexy feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without well-planned architectures, users are forced to become dot-com. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and CSS. We have come to know that if you grow super-intuitively then you may also syndicate interactively. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer macro-proactively than to maximize transparently. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We often syndicate scalable markets. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive content and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for regulating unplanned-for markets? The ability to seize magnetically leads to the capacity to architect intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C?