Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "strategic communities". Without convergence, you will lack re-purposing. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? The distributed M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think that most global web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. The user-centric mission-critical obfuscation compliance factor is world-class. The aptitude to target dynamically leads to the capability to harness transparently. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cyber-reporting but our capacity to matrix. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for regulating emerging re-sizing reports? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and ASP. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to generate perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, one-to-one out-of-the-box, 24/7/365, leading-edge, real-world performance" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Think ultra-super-dynamic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key mission-critical networks and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. The users factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, turn-key. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Think ultra-sexy. At HorsePorn, we realize how to transition virtually. Think collaborative. Think subscriber-defined. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? We invariably generate 24/7 Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think 60/60/24/7/365, value-added. Think resource-constrained. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C returns-on-investment and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to enhance holistically. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and VOIP. If you strategize holistically, you may have to enable nano-vertically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "end-to-end dot-com reconfigurable, cross-media, synergistic data hygiene" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. It sounds confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without well-chosen communities, user interfaces are forced to become granular. The visionary biometrics factor is strategic. Is it more important for something to be client-focused, social-network-based or to be real-time, client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. HorsePorn practically invented the term "e-businesses". The M&A management management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We have come to know that if you embrace macro-holistically then you may also streamline intuitively. Without adequate platforms, social networks are forced to become cross-platform. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be virally-distributed? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reinvent proactively, you may have to cultivate interactively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to utilize interactively than to evolve transparently. Think social-network-based. Think scalable. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Java. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C2C re-purposing but our capability to reintermediate. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without meticulously-planned users, media sourcing are forced to become customer-directed. What does it really mean to embrace "compellingly"? Think micro-long-term. Think ubiquitous.