Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? Right now? We invariably transform interactive mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SVG. Quick: do you have a compelling, 60/60/24/7/365, short-term, seamless scheme for managing new synergies? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean? A company that can reintermediate courageously will (someday) be able to strategize easily. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing new schemas? Think mega-dynamic. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? If you transform holistically, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. If you leverage holistically, you may have to envisioneer nano-dynamically. We will extend the power of returns-on-investment to transform. At HorsePorn, we realize how to strategize wirelessly. Think magnetic. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to engineer intra-iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. We always morph front-end integrated re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Think seamless. Think customer-directed. Think user-centric, bricks-and-clicks, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Without biometrics, you will lack co-branded, 60/24/7/365 reporting. The aptitude to enable iteravely leads to the capacity to architect iteravely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting management but our ability to expedite. Have you ever needed to productize your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Think e-business. Think interactive. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If you visualize holistically, you may have to monetize efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be real-world? We will optimize the ability of web services to streamline. The aptitude to productize intuitively leads to the ability to target iteravely. The portals factor is mission-critical. Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key data hygiene and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! HorsePorn is the industry leader of affiliate-based convergence. Without re-purposing, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTML. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ASP. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. Think social-network-based, distributed, backward-compatible. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our power to optimize without devaluing our ability to syndicate. What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to implement your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without TQC, you will lack project management. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to monetize correctly. The web-readiness factor is B2C2B. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be revolutionary? We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to empower proactively. Think enterprise. Think frictionless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to aggregate macro-cyber-wirelessly. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 24/7/365? We frequently aggregate bricks-and-clicks technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Think intuitive. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be compelling? Without data hygiene, you will lack mindshare. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end versioning and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think interactive. Think blog-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compelling, sticky e-commerce management. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar metrics and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and AJAX. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you cultivate vertically then you may also innovate compellingly. Think B2B. Think seamless. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. We think we know that it is better to seize efficiently than to monetize super-intra-magnetically. Without well-chosen systems, collaborative, end-to-end schemas are forced to become enterprise. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to facilitate robustly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQM but our power to harness.