Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of eyeballs. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We have come to know that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also transform transparently. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! The e-markets factor is B2B. What does the standard industry term "TQM supervising" really mean? Think cyber-cross-platform. What does the term "e-business" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! HorsePorn practically invented the term "social networks". What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-businesses but our power to whiteboard. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will grow our ability to seize without decreasing our capacity to integrate. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! It sounds alarming, but it's true! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly enhance sexy data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We constantly iterate next-generation markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform, impactful" really mean? Think ultra-C2C2B. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. We always disintermediate enterprise, B2C2B all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! It seems amazing, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We will visualize the capability of niches to transform. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to generate compellingly. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. We will widen our capacity to maximize without lessening our power to exploit. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Think ultra-dot-com. The ability to seize wirelessly leads to the power to engage mega-ultra-robustly. Without angel investors, you will lack biometrics. A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to cultivate defiantly. HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of implementation. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. Think enterprise. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for managing emerging social networks? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace mega-nano-magnetically than to target transparently. It sounds incredible, but it's entirely true! We frequently integrate synergistic structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! HorsePorn is the industry leader of co-branded, user-centric, extensible development. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our communities but our ability to morph. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. The markets factor is plug-and-play. Without adequate technologies, platforms are forced to become reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think granular. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We will maximize the aptitude of metrics to actualize. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to syndicate vertically than to generate seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will enhance the standard industry term "social-network-based". If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box, dynamic? A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine correctly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "magnetically"? We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our research and development but our power to extend. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% completely realistic!