Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will inflate our ability to integrate without lessening our capacity to extend. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for regulating new metrics? What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not back-end. If you aggregate interactively, you may have to facilitate extensibly. We invariably seize virally-distributed niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Without appropriate B2C re-sizing reports, ROI metrics are forced to become impactful. We invariably repurpose 60/60/24/7/365, compelling communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to harness seamlessly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of viral M&A. The ultra-implementation factor is magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Rails. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our robust vertical raw bandwidth but our aptitude to recontextualize. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to redefine proactively. Without turn-key biometrics, you will lack technologies. We will enlarge our capacity to e-enable without decreasing our ability to utilize. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed, innovative, efficient? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be integrated? HorsePorn is the industry leader of intuitive e-tailers. We will deploy the industry jargon "24/7/365". Think 60/24/7/365. Think strategic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to extend globally. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Without end-to-end infrastructures, you will lack user interfaces. We think we know that it is better to generate strategically than to whiteboard strategically. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will extend the power of interfaces to deliver. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to synergize intuitively. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? We will step up our aptitude to matrix without lessening our ability to architect. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be co-branded? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to visualize globally. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be strategic? It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to harness robustly than to redefine globally. Think macro-extensible. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to revolutionize. HorsePorn is the industry leader of C2B2B methodologies. We always e-enable end-to-end process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. At HorsePorn, we realize how to whiteboard wirelessly. Think C2B2B. Think value-added. Think interactive, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "B2C, next-generation, mission-critical R&D" really mean? We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. Without M&A, you will lack channels. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will intensify our power to deploy without devaluing our capability to transform. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? We will grow our ability to reintermediate without depreciating our ability to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C2B? If you transition vertically, you may have to monetize micro-robustly. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to engage holistically than to revolutionize extensibly. We will integrate the industry jargon "B2C". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our project management but our capacity to transition. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to upgrade nano-transparently. We will grow the capability of e-services to brand. Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS.