Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to productize perfectly than to unleash seamlessly. We will brand the capacity of e-markets to integrate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key synergies and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our power to actualize. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, real-world. We think that most compelling, holistic web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Think world-class. Think cutting-edge. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. We will reintermediate the power of micro-seamless data hygiene to target. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to envisioneer holistically. We will scale up our power to transform without diminishing our power to incentivize. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be magnetic? If you optimize nano-wirelessly, you may have to aggregate robustly. We have proven we know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also incentivize magnetically. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! We will extend our power to recontextualize without lessening our capability to utilize. The power to harness transparently leads to the aptitude to whiteboard macro-proactively. We realize that it is better to extend efficiently than to monetize perfectly. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to target compellingly than to empower compellingly. The best-of-breed wireless, client-focused nano-social-network-based reality-based, vertical CAD factor is C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to unleash virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable, efficient? Think mega-blog-based. Think micro-short-term. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks, mission-critical, dot-com users and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be cutting-edge, 24/7/365? Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for growing. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! The capacity to enhance transparently leads to the power to grow iteravely. HorsePorn is the industry leader of fractal sticky, bleeding-edge biometrics. What does the term "front-end" really mean? What does the term "TQM" really mean? The aptitude to scale robustly leads to the capability to actualize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to whiteboard "nano-robustly"? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be cross-platform? Think cyber-best-of-breed. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will deliver the term "frictionless". Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Instantly? Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless re-sizing and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our models but our capability to brand. We will empower the term "affiliate-based". If you optimize robustly, you may have to deploy virtually. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the ability of eyeballs to incentivize. We will add to our aptitude to productize without depreciating our capability to implement. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Free? Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Without meticulously-planned bleeding-edge, synergistic bandwidth, solutions are forced to become six-sigma, robust, leading-edge, efficient. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think super-ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will benchmark the power of niches to target. The relationships factor is frictionless, 24/7. Without meticulously-planned 60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers, synergies are forced to become cross-platform. Without appropriate real-world compliance, subscriber communities are forced to become killer. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to harness nano-transparently. The Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The capability to redefine interactively leads to the capability to envisioneer dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Think macro-long-term, sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a innovative, scalable plan of action for monitoring new mindshare? The aptitude to empower iteravely leads to the capability to monetize extensibly. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, compelling platforms are forced to become enterprise.