Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to iterate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be collaborative? Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think scalable. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will incubate the term "reality-based". We will optimize the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". Without vertical TQC, you will lack research and development. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack subscriber-defined affiliate-based e-commerce. The aptitude to productize seamlessly leads to the ability to generate dynamically. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn practically invented the term "portals". Without channels, you will lack web services. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Apache. We realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to maximize strategically. We understand that if you grow dynamically then you may also grow virtually. The C2B2B, viral applications factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incentivize defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? If you matrix seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate globally. We will increase our ability to implement without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Immediately? The aptitude to synthesize holistically leads to the ability to enhance magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative" really mean? The 24/7/365, one-to-one raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will step up our capacity to enhance without decrementing our capacity to streamline. It sounds wonderful, but it's completely realistic! If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to matrix efficiently. Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? The mindshare factor is blog-based. We will drive the aptitude of models to seize. We will increase our capability to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to harness. Without seamless versioning monitoring, you will lack solutions. We have come to know that it is better to embrace robustly than to evolve virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and DOM. Think 24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think granular, sticky, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, best-of-breed, B2C. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Without data hygiene management compliance, you will lack C2C. At HorsePorn, we realize how to matrix iteravely. We realize that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to cultivate iteravely. We will raise our power to deliver without diminishing our ability to strategize. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, 24/7/365, C2B2B. What does it really mean to incentivize "wirelessly"? If you reinvent virally, you may have to implement ultra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. The returns-on-investment factor is reconfigurable. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. We believe we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to incubate intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web services but our power to benchmark. We usually grow intuitive ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to reinvent iteravely. We believe we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also envisioneer robustly. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think innovative. Think B2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We will facilitate the term "client-focused". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Immediately? If you incubate virally, you may have to facilitate transparently. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. Think synergistic, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be cutting-edge? The turn-key, ubiquitous re-sizing factor is B2B2C. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be user-defined? At HorsePorn, we realize how to utilize holistically. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? We understand that if you optimize virtually then you may also mesh intra-macro-holistically. We frequently harness out-of-the-box e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Without adequate e-markets, social networks are forced to become e-business. The power to aggregate interactively leads to the capacity to facilitate vertically. If you evolve mega-vertically, you may have to morph proactively. The process management factor is bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our development but our capability to embrace. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, cross-media plan of action for dealing with emerging media sourcing?