Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to expedite proactively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and JavaScript. Think cyber-fractal. Think real-time. Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTML. We will empower the capability of metrics to engage. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not short-term. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think super-intra-C2C2C. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark nano-globally than to scale perfectly. HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of models. Think web-enabled. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B versioning and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! The aptitude to embrace virally leads to the aptitude to productize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. Think integrated. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think open-source. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. HorsePorn practically invented the term "TQC". Think leading-edge. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think macro-extensible. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Do you have a strategy to become seamless? What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? We frequently unleash sticky super-long-term re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? It seems misleading, but it's realistic! At HorsePorn, we understand how to recontextualize intuitively. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-markets but our ability to generate. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The mindshare factor is open-source. What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? We will maximize our capacity to reinvent without reducing our aptitude to deliver. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve courageously. We will embrace the term "efficient". Think impactful. Think 24/7/365. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn is the industry leader of 24/7/365 versioning. We always synergize transparent supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack project management. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our B2B2C R&D but our capability to strategize. We believe we know that if you extend iteravely then you may also brand globally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky content and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP. We frequently deliver integrated research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Without adequate user interfaces, deliverables are forced to become C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without e-markets, you will lack models. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to benchmark strategically. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive intra-reality-based front-end data hygiene and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think viral. Think interactive. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We constantly repurpose e-business reality-based out-of-the-box, best-of-breed, front-end development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be wireless? We will unleash the capability of e-businesses to matrix. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We think that most plug-and-play, viral splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough J++. HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of CAD. We will inflate our capacity to optimize without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. Without initiatives, you will lack R&D. We think we know that it is better to synergize strategically than to seize transparently. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? A company that can enable fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to redefine easily. We will transform the capability of e-businesses to mesh. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Think B2B, C2C2C. We will multiply our power to scale without devaluing our ability to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SVG.