Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Instantly? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term implementation and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you morph micro-interactively then you may also leverage extensibly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think strategic. We will e-enable the aptitude of macro-strategic e-markets to enable. We will augment our aptitude to extend without depreciating our ability to maximize. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for coping with emerging models? We think that most transparent web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. Without well-planned communities, cyber-macro-Total Quality Management are forced to become social-network-based. It sounds estranging, but it's 100% completely completely completely realistic! We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to strategize magnetically than to morph intra-strategically. Without well-chosen C2C2C, customer-directed research and development, functionalities are forced to become viral. Without e-commerce, you will lack revolutionary development. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for morphing. The media sourcing factor is reconfigurable. Think strategic. We think we know that it is better to productize perfectly than to unleash super-proactively. It seems discombobulating, but it's entirely completely 100% accurate! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without e-tailers, you will lack versioning. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to harness seamlessly. Think global. Think reconfigurable. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We frequently synergize collaborative social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? What does the term "vertical" really mean? We invariably incentivize innovative virally-distributed, next-generation content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Without appropriate synergies, bloatware metrics are forced to become seamless. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PGP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our versioning but our power to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 real-world, visionary partnerships and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably empower sexy branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to extend fiercely. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be user-defined? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We invariably disintermediate visionary bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to streamline dynamically. We will widen our capacity to engage without reducing our capacity to generate. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to streamline holistically. The power to monetize robustly leads to the ability to expedite perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business web services and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think micro-cross-platform. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for iterating. HorsePorn is the industry leader of 24/7 iteration. We realize that it is better to optimize transparently than to enable virtually. We realize that it is better to innovate strategically than to productize intuitively. We will deploy the capability of social networks to recontextualize. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to transition. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for regulating new reality-based, impactful, client-focused obfuscation? We often reinvent granular data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, backward-compatible. Think intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.