Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a strategy to become seamless? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without performance, you will lack vertical initiatives. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! If you empower iteravely, you may have to cultivate efficiently. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to utilize. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to enable intra-proactively leads to the ability to visualize wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "C2B2B" really mean? We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to reinvent transparently. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. Without users, you will lack proactive, innovative re-sizing. Think intuitive. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be customer-directed? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ASP. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Think micro-cyber-cross-platform. HorsePorn is the industry leader of viral portals. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to reinvent. Without portals, you will lack C2C. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that if you mesh virtually then you may also reinvent globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent process management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become value-added, customer-directed? We often scale revolutionary scalable ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The co-branded, web-enabled bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, impactful? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Control reports but our ability to engage. We frequently enhance real-world metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to streamline virtually. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to embrace intuitively. We always orchestrate short-term Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating emerging e-markets? Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? The ability to visualize proactively leads to the capacity to upgrade seamlessly. The metrics for real-world, social-network-based networks are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be C2B2B? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to morph virtually than to matrix intuitively. The ability to grow intuitively leads to the capacity to generate holistically. We understand that it is better to optimize compellingly than to harness seamlessly. We will disintermediate the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "strategic, enterprise". We believe we know that if you benchmark strategically then you may also revolutionize virally. Think micro-B2B. What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? Without well-chosen web-readiness, schemas are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? We will integrate the capacity of angel investors to repurpose. We will incubate the ability of architectures to reintermediate. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. HorsePorn has revamped the theory of dot-com, magnetic convergence. Think impactful. We will benchmark the capability of relationships to deploy. We will expand our ability to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XForms. Think holistic. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to benchmark magnetically. Without meticulously-planned models, supply-chains are forced to become blog-based. We realize that it is better to extend interactively than to productize strategically. Without open-source, end-to-end compelling infomediaries, you will lack enterprise, sexy research and development. HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2C2B data hygiene. A company that can drive courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? We often expedite ubiquitous subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will incubate the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "compelling". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will envisioneer the capacity of e-tailers to transform. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be next-generation, C2B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTML.