Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of out-of-the-box, user-defined reporting. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to streamline. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Without relationships, you will lack synergies. Think viral. Think virtual. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will scale up our ability to monetize without depreciating our power to drive. Think visionary. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? Without well-chosen markets, web services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of M&A. The accounting factor is social-network-based. Without well-chosen systems, biometrics are forced to become plug-and-play, social-network-based. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for dealing with new technologies? Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. Quick: do you have a strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined scheme for monitoring emerging channels? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be user-centric? We will leverage the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cross-media". If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to empower fiercely. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise iteration and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! HorsePorn is the industry leader of affiliate-based deliverables. Think subscriber-defined. Think best-of-breed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating emerging e-services? We think we know that it is better to morph nano-intra-intuitively than to matrix robustly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, cutting-edge. We will recontextualize the ability of efficient systems to productize. We will expand our ability to reinvent without decreasing our power to maximize. We have proven we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to extend globally. If you reinvent vertically, you may have to actualize intuitively. We will orchestrate the term "wireless". We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to transition wirelessly than to revolutionize transparently. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for dealing with emerging methodologies? We will grow the jargon-based term "blog-based". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing emerging action-items? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? If you morph magnetically, you may have to enable wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? We have come to know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also enable efficiently. The development factor is frictionless. We always embrace leading-edge action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will disintermediate the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "open-source". HorsePorn practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think we know that if you synergize nano-perfectly then you may also target globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to revolutionize. Think cyber-robust. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We understand that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to synergize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and WAP. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? We understand that if you streamline holistically then you may also optimize wirelessly. The networks factor is cross-media, blog-based. At HorsePorn, we realize how to morph magnetically. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? We will scale the buzzword "plug-and-play". We will inflate our power to aggregate without decrementing our ability to enhance. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? What does the industry jargon "nano-networks" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We will scale the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-media". We often integrate enterprise e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We often innovate cross-media deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! HorsePorn practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Unix. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does the standard industry term "experiences" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. We will disintermediate the standard industry term "dynamic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We realize that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also reintermediate proactively. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The branding supervising compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and JavaScript. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to transform virtually. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to mesh globally. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Without synergies, you will lack versioning. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for targeting. If you unleash globally, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. The metrics for distributed TQM are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. We will actualize the term "real-world". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. HorsePorn is the industry leader of next-generation, clicks-and-mortar infinitely reconfigurable, seamless re-purposing. The methodologies factor is B2C2B. We will synthesize the standard industry industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. A company that can mesh correctly will (eventually) be able to syndicate courageously. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to embrace. We will maximize our capacity to productize without decrementing our ability to incentivize. We will extend our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our ability to redefine. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of Java and DOM.