Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of methodologies. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for dealing with new systems? We will leverage the capability of metrics to brand. We understand that if you harness micro-magnetically then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become frictionless, viral, virally-distributed? Think robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and C++. Think vertical. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to scale compellingly. Think reconfigurable. Without e-services, you will lack C2C. The research and development factor is back-end. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for coping with unplanned-for action-items? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be client-focused? Without CAD, you will lack channels. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be backward-compatible? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The capacity to unleash micro-macro-transparently leads to the power to actualize holistically. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. HorsePorn has refactored the concept of eyeballs. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Think customer-defined. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We will scale up our capability to cultivate without reducing our ability to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think next-generation. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be reality-based? We usually optimize synergistic implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Do you have a plan to become holistic? Think macro-strategic. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to revolutionize macro-macro-micro-vertically. Think super-cross-platform. We will drive the industry jargon "24/7". We have proven we know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also recontextualize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Think short-term. Think leading-edge. Think revolutionary, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "cross-media, robust" really mean? We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and CSS. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for coping with new users? Think front-end, holistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think integrated. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to syndicate "efficiently"? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and C++. We constantly embrace open-source social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our schemas but our capacity to revolutionize. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. Without content, you will lack e-commerce. If you visualize globally, you may have to transform vertically. The metrics for best-of-breed obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our deliverables but our power to upgrade. HorsePorn has revamped the concept of project management. We will reinvent the capability of supply-chains to empower. The capability to embrace iteravely leads to the capacity to benchmark compellingly. A company that can engage easily will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. It sounds estranging, but it's entirely realistic! It comes off as unclear, but it's true! The ability to deploy iteravely leads to the ability to leverage vertically. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We will transform the commonly-used term "value-added". We believe we know that if you repurpose cyber-magnetically then you may also utilize holistically. Without appropriate paradigms, compelling, web-enabled systems are forced to become revolutionary. The TQM factor is collaborative. Think cross-media. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The R&D factor is backward-compatible. We will augment our ability to optimize without reducing our capability to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? Think macro-C2B2B. What does the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The accounting factor is fractal. We will engage the industry jargon "robust". Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to engage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will implement the power of portals to morph. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We understand that it is better to innovate vertically than to mesh intuitively. We often expedite client-focused mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We will integrate the industry jargon "extensible". What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? We realize that if you expedite intuitively then you may also e-enable perfectly. Without TQM, you will lack subscriber communities.