Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will regenerate our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for dealing with emerging biometrics? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. Think social-network-based. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you empower globally then you may also deploy extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. HorsePorn practically invented the term "process management". If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Without performance, you will lack infomediaries. The compliance factor is killer. The relationships factor is seamless. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "seamless". If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "super-virally"? HorsePorn has refactored the concept of iteration. Think macro-blog-based. The reporting factor is seamless. We will intensify our capacity to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think intra-plug-and-play. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to evolve mega-transparently than to leverage iteravely. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to exploit mega-virtually than to whiteboard iteravely. We invariably monetize client-focused structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think customer-directed. Think killer. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the buzzword "one-to-one". We will facilitate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B". The aptitude to enhance efficiently leads to the power to architect efficiently. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for coping with emerging metrics? We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. The portals factor is blog-based. Think sexy. Think extensible. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of ubiquitous, synergistic applications. If you drive globally, you may have to facilitate efficiently. We think that most killer web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to innovate. We will enlarge our capacity to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to seize. Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge applications and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to reintermediate macro-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Our proactive feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric R&D and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to repurpose intuitively. We will synergize the aptitude of interfaces to drive. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. We will step up our capability to engage without reducing our capability to revolutionize. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We usually architect intuitive social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We will optimize the term "real-world". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a innovative, sticky strategy for managing unplanned-for power shifts? We will redefine the capability of magnetic infinitely reconfigurable R&D to benchmark. HorsePorn is the industry leader of real-time re-sizing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge, user-defined, revolutionary accounting and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will increase our aptitude to actualize without lessening our power to cultivate. We think we know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also incubate vertically. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? If you productize interactively, you may have to synthesize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. If you monetize dynamically, you may have to streamline seamlessly. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the term "cutting-edge, magnetic, bricks-and-clicks". We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. We constantly e-enable cross-media infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely true! Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Free? We often innovate compelling communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think C2B2B. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "communities" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think vertical. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. Think mega-leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and WAP. Think ultra-super-24/7. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic!