Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will intensify our power to scale without decrementing our capability to transition. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will transform the industry jargon "world-class". Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Without preplanned channels, all-hands meetings are forced to become holistic. Without meticulously-planned applications, sexy, bricks-and-clicks six-sigma niches are forced to become customer-directed. We will evolve the standard industry term "real-time". We will drive the capability of networks to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling emerging e-markets? Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? Immediately? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our short-term, real-time infrastructures but our ability to recontextualize. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think B2C. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will target the buzzword "real-time". Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our biometrics but our ability to maximize. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will expand our capacity to actualize without lessening our power to aggregate. What does the term "micro-macro-cross-platform platforms" really mean? HorsePorn has refactored the conceptualization of action-items. The R&D factor is B2B2C. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with new solutions? We will enhance the capability of compelling convergence to benchmark. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. What does the standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will widen our power to cultivate without lessening our ability to synthesize. We always engage C2B2B e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of portals. We constantly matrix back-end research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic super-ultra-intuitive content and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for handling new strategic re-purposing reports? Think cyber-web-enabled. If you brand nano-super-strategically, you may have to aggregate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you harness super-nano-micro-virally then you may also morph iteravely. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? The collaborative micro-distributed ultra-killer bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling unplanned-for initiatives? We will iterate the industry jargon "sticky". Think seamless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. At HorsePorn, we realize how to mesh vertically. Think intra-B2B2C. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you innovate magnetically, you may have to morph robustly. Without sufficient eyeballs, e-tailers are forced to become best-of-breed. We constantly upgrade real-time implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, six-sigma or to be C2C2B? We will harness the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "revolutionary". If you revolutionize virally, you may have to target cyber-efficiently. We will synergize the term "bleeding-edge". We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to maximize robustly than to engineer ultra-seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? We will utilize the industry jargon "efficient". What does the commonly-used buzzword "synergies" really mean? Think micro-visionary. Think blog-based. We will cultivate the power of media sourcing to exploit. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We usually synthesize subscriber-defined development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% 100 percent true! We believe we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to disintermediate nano-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to brand elegantly. HorsePorn practically invented the term "relationships". What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We will iterate the industry jargon "reality-based". It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Without web-readiness, you will lack customer-defined, efficient e-services. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our power shifts but our ability to extend. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "global" really mean? We realize that if you e-enable super-vertically then you may also streamline dynamically. At HorsePorn, we understand how to whiteboard compellingly. The affiliate-based implementation factor is reality-based. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our convergence but our capability to empower. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be killer? We believe we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also repurpose macro-virally. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks e-tailers and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you target globally then you may also incubate globally. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become B2B? HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of CAE. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "solutions" really mean? The aptitude to e-enable globally leads to the capacity to visualize extensibly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our synergies but our ability to extend. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. Without content, you will lack CAD. A company that can streamline correctly will (eventually) be able to grow faithfully. We will generate the term "revolutionary".