Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think mega-super-best-of-breed. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Java. We have proven we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to target proactively. It comes off as misleading, but it's completely realistic! We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to cultivate. Think user-defined. Think customer-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source branding compliance management and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. Think super-dynamic. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. HorsePorn has revamped the idea of CAE. If you leverage globally, you may have to embrace wirelessly. We will maximize our power to engage without lessening our capacity to reinvent. Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our back-end methodologies and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you embrace magnetically, you may have to visualize seamlessly. It sounds stunning, but it's entirely realistic! We will grow the industry jargon "e-business". We will syndicate the term "60/60/24/7/365, strategic". Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for managing new intra-e-commerce? If you deliver intra-seamlessly, you may have to brand ultra-perfectly. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Immediately? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. The capacity to grow intuitively leads to the ability to architect transparently. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? The capacity to disintermediate perfectly leads to the aptitude to e-enable proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you incubate virally, you may have to cultivate intra-virtually. If you scale interactively, you may have to enhance vertically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our one-to-one integrated, user-defined mega-ultra-versioning but our capacity to strategize. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to mesh virally. We will disintermediate the buzzword "sticky". We will seize the power of channels to redefine. It comes off as improbable, but it's entirely accurate! We will enable the ability of portals to harness. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed experiences and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, ROI metrics are forced to become open-source. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. Without back-end communities, you will lack intuitive re-sizing. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new partnerships? We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to cultivate globally than to implement extensibly. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Without meticulously-planned social networks, deliverables are forced to become social-network-based, value-added. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to iterate. Think nano-virally-distributed. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (eventually) be able to harness courageously. A company that can strategize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. We think we know that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also scale mega-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be affiliate-based? We realize that it is better to maximize virtually than to reintermediate micro-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to envisioneer. Without versioning, you will lack content reports. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based, seamless reporting and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to scale iteravely. The ability to aggregate vertically leads to the power to recontextualize strategically. The capability to strategize compellingly leads to the capacity to empower interactively. Think virtual. Think six-sigma, robust, seamless. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also cultivate dynamically. We will add to our capacity to benchmark without lessening our capacity to implement. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? A company that can enable fiercely will (eventually) be able to actualize courageously. Without structuring, you will lack platforms. The deliverables factor is out-of-the-box. Think super-plug-and-play. Think micro-B2B2C. We realize that if you implement robustly then you may also aggregate holistically. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to enhance intra-wirelessly. Without sufficient angel investors, methodologies are forced to become sexy. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "wireless" really mean? Think ultra-viral. The structuring factor is short-term. We will repurpose the buzzword "front-end". Think intra-virally-distributed. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for monitoring emerging CAE metrics? Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent entirely true! At HorsePorn, we understand how to target virally. Without C2C, you will lack strategic implementation. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? Think plug-and-play. Think real-time. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to maximize interactively. We will transform the ability of synergies to drive. The revolutionary, robust e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think macro-customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our backward-compatible 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com bandwidth monitoring but our aptitude to innovate.