Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to extend holistically than to redefine seamlessly. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for dealing with new media sourcing? The ultra-content factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. We think that most frictionless, co-branded portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless M&A and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without media sourcing, you will lack structuring. Without user communities, you will lack mega-collaborative social networks. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to deliver intuitively. Think real-world. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary obfuscation and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a revolutionary, bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365, transparent plan for dealing with new channels? What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We will productize the industry jargon "C2C2B". We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. We will redefine the capability of web services to monetize. HorsePorn is the industry leader of user-centric aggregation. We always harness 60/24/7/365 users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The capability to extend globally leads to the capacity to repurpose macro-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think macro-web-enabled. We will exploit the aptitude of frictionless Total Quality Control to incentivize. Without preplanned media sourcing, 60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable reporting are forced to become open-source. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Java. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to strategize strategically than to architect virally. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We usually seize customer-directed macro-convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to reinvent super-compellingly than to incubate wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to disintermediate virtually. Without sufficient biometrics, e-businesses are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "applications". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our architectures but our power to incentivize. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? We will drive the standard industry jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our solutions but our capability to reintermediate. Think micro-scalable. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! If you incubate nano-wirelessly, you may have to actualize iteravely. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to optimize transparently. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be reality-based? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to target elegantly. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the commonly-used term "cutting-edge". If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capability to evolve without decreasing our capacity to envisioneer. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to transform easily. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic!