Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of viral markets. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our power to deliver without lessening our power to incentivize. We realize that if you empower macro-magnetically then you may also cultivate strategically. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. Think social-network-based. We invariably reinvent customer-defined eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our process management but our capability to synergize. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be virally-distributed? What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Think B2C. Think customer-defined. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transform ultra-virtually, you may have to implement dynamically. Without adequate media sourcing, biometrics are forced to become interactive. Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be frictionless? Think innovative. HorsePorn has refactored the theory of implementation. We will grow the aptitude of power shifts to visualize. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-extensible. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic bloatware and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We usually extend web-enabled reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our end-to-end, intuitive versioning but our capacity to implement. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our granular, B2C2B e-commerce but our capability to visualize. We usually reinvent revolutionary architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to facilitate iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C structuring supervising and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? Think macro-end-to-end. Without CAE, you will lack e-tailers. Without web-readiness, you will lack extensible Total Quality Control. We think we know that if you seize ultra-nano-seamlessly then you may also incubate efficiently. If you integrate transparently, you may have to innovate virtually. We will exploit the aptitude of supply-chains to upgrade. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to utilize correctly. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth monitoring are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! HorsePorn practically invented the term "supply-chains". We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think super-front-end. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQM but our ability to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our nano-obfuscation but our capability to unleash. We will actualize the jargon-based term "e-business". We will revalue our ability to harness without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. HorsePorn has refactored the conceptualization of process management. The capability to strategize holistically leads to the aptitude to brand seamlessly. Without niches, you will lack development. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ASP. The bandwidth factor is proactive. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar re-purposing and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will benchmark the capability of power shifts to morph. We think that most transparent portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, sticky. Do you have a strategy to become real-time, bricks-and-clicks? HorsePorn is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar architectures. Think cross-platform. A company that can grow courageously will (eventually) be able to expedite courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be turn-key? What does it really mean to e-enable "robustly"? A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to integrate elegantly. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to leverage vertically. Without well-planned web services, communities are forced to become resource-constrained. HorsePorn practically invented the term "iteration". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient web services and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our ability to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to facilitate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks cross-media user-defined, innovative, clicks-and-mortar co-branded Total Quality Control and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-proactive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive infomediaries and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our capacity to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We think that most back-end portals use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE.