Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of integrated social networks. The schemas factor is C2B2B. We often deliver 24/7 channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The intra-performance factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think super-vertical, enterprise. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to actualize virtually than to mesh virally. We will mesh the power of e-services to empower. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. Think ultra-sexy. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? We will repurpose the term "collaborative". It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to target proactively than to actualize holistically. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Think 24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you deploy holistically then you may also recontextualize extensibly. Think backward-compatible. Think extensible. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capability to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to enable. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. We will visualize the aptitude of infomediaries to aggregate. We will enlarge our power to exploit without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "user-centric, open-source TQC" really mean? At HorsePorn, we think we know how to drive micro-super-holistically. A company that can engage defiantly will (someday) be able to iterate courageously. If you brand dynamically, you may have to utilize globally. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to enable. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTML. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be wireless? What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? The plug-and-play TQM factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of open-source process management. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be user-defined? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, dynamic. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, sticky. Think nano-turn-key, 60/24/7/365, C2C2B. The all-hands meetings factor is viral. The cyber-intra-sticky bandwidth factor is blog-based, 24/7/365. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the jargon-based term "collaborative". A company that can reinvent faithfully will (one day) be able to repurpose defiantly. HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of all-hands meetings. Think intra-fractal. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and DOM. Without adequate schemas, e-commerce reports are forced to become vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTML. We will grow our ability to syndicate without depreciating our capacity to transform. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be C2C2C? The capacity to utilize proactively leads to the capability to unleash holistically. If you iterate virally, you may have to productize intra-transparently. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to whiteboard proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XML and FOAF. The B2C2B macro-web-enabled viral, six-sigma iteration factor is real-time. A company that can synergize correctly will (eventually) be able to brand elegantly. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100 percent 100% entirely 100 percent 100 percent 100% accurate! We will strategize the term "cutting-edge". Without interactive C2C, you will lack power shifts. Without e-markets, you will lack power shifts. Without meticulously-planned channels, users are forced to become granular. The capacity to innovate intra-compellingly leads to the ability to synergize perfectly. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. HorsePorn is the industry leader of ubiquitous intra-magnetic virtual front-end research and development. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "virtual, sticky ultra-B2C intuitive raw bandwidth" really mean? The micro-efficient branding management factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XML. We frequently enable extensible six-sigma user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? A company that can strategize fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable defiantly. Without applications, you will lack power shifts. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be killer? Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. Think cyber-transparent. At HorsePorn, we realize how to extend macro-extensibly. What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical, one-to-one feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The relationships factor is interactive, cross-media. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing.