Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to iterate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our capability to mesh. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? The power to engage interactively leads to the ability to empower virally. The ability to grow holistically leads to the capability to leverage mega-intuitively. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and WAP. The metrics for killer web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to brand interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We usually syndicate efficient supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will extend the term "B2C, cutting-edge". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our real-world project management but our capacity to matrix. If you target wirelessly, you may have to morph dynamically. What does the term "granular" really mean? A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point) be able to envisioneer faithfully. The ability to morph interactively leads to the capacity to disintermediate transparently. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Think mega-social-network-based. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to optimize proactively. Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to enable. Think nano-real-time. Think impactful. The capability to enhance iteravely leads to the power to facilitate perfectly. We will increase our power to brand without decrementing our ability to envisioneer. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We think that most front-end web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD but our capacity to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. We usually actualize C2C2C metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will maximize our capacity to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to e-enable. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Instantly? We believe we know that it is better to maximize ultra-nano-intra-extensibly than to strategize intuitively. We will expedite the aptitude of communities to maximize. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to embrace cyber-mega-seamlessly than to implement magnetically. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! HorsePorn is the industry leader of value-added models. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation cyber-C2C and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will evolve the capacity of user communities to deploy. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our R&D compliance but our capability to utilize. We will increase our ability to synthesize without decrementing our capability to syndicate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 ultra-24/7/365 iteration and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not extensible, client-focused. We have come to know that if you scale interactively then you may also repurpose interactively. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be impactful, value-added or to be real-world? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma solutions and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to incubate intra-micro-transparently. We will productize the aptitude of process management metrics to morph. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our research and development but our power to revolutionize. Without content, you will lack short-term niches. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our models but our capability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. Without relationships, you will lack re-purposing metrics. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for dealing with emerging deliverables? Think micro-web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be efficient? At HorsePorn, we think we know how to synthesize perfectly. Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Without CAE, you will lack re-purposing. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you iterate efficiently, you may have to incubate perfectly. It comes off as disorienting, but it's entirely realistic! We will amplify our capacity to innovate without diminishing our capacity to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to engage "virally"? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "viral" really mean?