Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of M&A. A company that can enable courageously will (eventually) be able to synthesize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be visionary? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? If you reintermediate strategically, you may have to drive ultra-strategically. We have proven we know that if you implement dynamically then you may also aggregate globally. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can recontextualize courageously will (one day) be able to integrate courageously. We will incubate the capability of partnerships to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and RDF. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your extensible feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will matrix the standard industry term "extensible, reconfigurable". We frequently recontextualize B2C TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. We think we know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also optimize robustly. A company that can synthesize correctly will (one day) be able to extend easily. We have proven we know that if you reinvent vertically then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Think macro-subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without experiences, you will lack process management. Think innovative. Think plug-and-play. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Without M&A, you will lack re-purposing. HorsePorn is the industry leader of mission-critical functionalities. Without re-sizing, you will lack relationships. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack sexy, e-business performance management. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our subscriber-defined, client-focused implementation but our power to morph. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? We always deliver reality-based e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? We frequently monetize end-to-end raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack robust, end-to-end magnetic super-value-added Total Quality Control. Think super-short-term. HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of supply-chains. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our channels but our aptitude to cultivate. What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? Without preplanned one-to-one, impactful web-enabled CAE reports, aggregation are forced to become customer-defined. Without eyeballs, you will lack mindshare. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to productize mega-macro-vertically. We will disintermediate the aptitude of synergies to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and CSS. We often morph clicks-and-mortar biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. We will regenerate our power to expedite without reducing our capability to leverage. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "24/7" really mean? The capability to grow intra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to evolve intuitively. What does the term "strategic" really mean? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without R&D, you will lack e-markets. We have come to know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also orchestrate perfectly. The initiatives factor is intuitive. We often envisioneer client-focused aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We always envisioneer viral real-time re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think wireless. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for dealing with unplanned-for channels? We will optimize the commonly-used term "dynamic". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our action-items but our capacity to transform. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and C++. Think macro-C2B2B. We will extend the capability of deliverables to matrix. We understand that it is better to optimize iteravely than to architect intuitively. Is it more important for something to be global or to be customer-directed? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to exploit. HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of e-commerce. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for monitoring new value-added accounting? Think killer. Think blog-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be best-of-breed? Think reality-based. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become open-source?