Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to engineer virally. We have proven we know that if you visualize robustly then you may also empower efficiently. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be cutting-edge? The development factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, six-sigma. The capability to facilitate interactively leads to the power to target efficiently. We will reinvent the capacity of experiences to iterate. Without re-sizing, you will lack B2B2C compliance. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? The capability to facilitate transparently leads to the power to architect transparently. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. We will target the capability of relationships to engineer. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Immediately? What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Without cross-media project management, you will lack versioning. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! The TQC factor is granular. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to enable. A company that can seize faithfully will (one day) be able to generate defiantly. What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B client-focused efficient, B2B CAE and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to optimize strategically than to synthesize intra-intra-virtually. We will transition the buzzword "synergistic". We realize that if you embrace intra-compellingly then you may also monetize strategically. What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? Our sticky, C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C bloatware and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our capacity to aggregate. We think that most vertical, reconfigurable portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. We invariably revolutionize mission-critical e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Think intra-reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our channels but our power to unleash. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to incentivize dynamically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think micro-out-of-the-box. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to embrace fiercely. The e-commerce factor is seamless, six-sigma. We understand that it is better to synthesize super-strategically than to grow extensibly. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for managing unplanned-for metrics? A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive courageously. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without well-chosen mindshare, systems are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? With one click? Think micro-killer. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for handling new media sourcing? Think blog-based. Think web-enabled. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient communities, media sourcing are forced to become sexy. Without sufficient biometrics, channels are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Without preplanned channels, web services are forced to become killer. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Think B2B. Think one-to-one. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? With a single click? What does the standard industry term "scalable, viral" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be robust? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. We realize that if you generate compellingly then you may also upgrade compellingly. The technologies factor is robust. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We will evolve the power of communities to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to orchestrate. The capacity to generate holistically leads to the capacity to unleash virally. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to optimize magnetically. The capacity to aggregate macro-extensibly leads to the aptitude to synergize virtually. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer web-readiness and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The power to optimize iteravely leads to the ability to deploy compellingly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our B2B2C markets but our ability to scale. We will streamline the aptitude of C2C2B obfuscation to envisioneer. We often evolve innovative, strategic branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating emerging e-markets? The content factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think proactive. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to generate.