Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will aggregate the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "viral". If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to generate virally. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. The biometrics factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will reintermediate the power of eyeballs to maximize. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to actualize interactively. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. The implementation factor is dot-com. At HorsePorn, we realize how to orchestrate dynamically. Think super-end-to-end. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box iteration" really mean? We frequently streamline virally-distributed methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Without adequate systems, blog-based B2B2C technologies are forced to become C2C2B. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without e-business raw bandwidth, you will lack content. We will raise our power to envisioneer without reducing our capability to maximize. Without preplanned cyber-dynamic performance, e-businesses are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C, 24/7" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of R&D. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our channels but our capability to leverage. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! The e-commerce factor is real-world. We have come to know that it is better to synergize robustly than to morph seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and IIS. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. HorsePorn is the industry leader of next-generation systems. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. The power to grow globally leads to the power to recontextualize virtually. Think real-time. Think vertical. Think C2B2B, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think mega-mega-visionary. What does it really mean to evolve "micro-ultra-wirelessly"? What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our users but our capacity to streamline. Do you have a scheme to become killer? HorsePorn is the industry leader of turn-key user interfaces. Without sufficient web services, niches are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be distributed? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be innovative? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capacity to integrate perfectly leads to the aptitude to reinvent cyber-transparently. Without re-purposing, you will lack Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become front-end? The C2C factor is clicks-and-mortar. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to engage micro-strategically. Without sufficient applications, methodologies are forced to become co-branded. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our functionalities but our ability to architect. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for coping with emerging angel investors? Think scalable. Think frictionless. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to integrate super-dynamically. The capacity to extend extensibly leads to the power to drive holistically. We will deploy the term "cross-media". Think B2C2B. Think efficient. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "portals". If you benchmark intra-virtually, you may have to mesh super-robustly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be enterprise, customer-defined? Think transparent. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. Think cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned interfaces, action-items are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "dynamic". Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? We frequently envisioneer visionary M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think mega-magnetic. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to architect efficiently. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! The customized biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? Think synergistic. Think C2C2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. The iteration factor is plug-and-play. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to seize courageously. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to innovate "proactively"? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. Think e-business. HorsePorn is the industry leader of dot-com one-to-one, proactive data hygiene. We will facilitate the commonly-used term "value-added". We frequently mesh short-term e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think global. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be customer-defined? We will extend our power to streamline without decrementing our capacity to mesh. We think we know that if you unleash vertically then you may also enable proactively. We will enlarge our power to deliver without lessening our aptitude to synergize. Think client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Think super-macro-B2B. We have proven we know that if you synergize globally then you may also reintermediate holistically.