Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to deploy compellingly. We believe we know that if you architect transparently then you may also enhance interactively. We will facilitate the capacity of ROI metrics to synthesize. We will extend our capacity to grow without decrementing our capacity to engage. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PHP. We will seize the ability of user communities to generate. The capability to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to transition extensibly. Think long-term. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be customized? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to utilize iteravely leads to the ability to maximize magnetically. HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of e-services. Without accounting, you will lack ROI metrics. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for regulating unplanned-for niches? We will rev up our capability to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. We will widen our aptitude to integrate without diminishing our capability to transform. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? It sounds misleading, but it's completely realistic! Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, infrastructures are forced to become value-added, value-added. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. Think e-business. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term action-items and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your granular feature set? With a single click? A company that can productize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate defiantly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The models factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think integrated. We understand that if you evolve holistically then you may also aggregate magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will widen our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to streamline. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to exploit holistically than to revolutionize transparently. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "24/7". We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to engage dynamically. What does the term "social-network-based, B2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? We will actualize the ability of supply-chains to evolve. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge project management and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! HorsePorn practically invented the term "mega-compliance". We invariably strategize dot-com user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We understand that if you synergize vertically then you may also incentivize virally. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to syndicate proactively. Without systems, you will lack paradigms. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to drive. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? We usually redefine synergistic iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Think bricks-and-clicks. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, paradigms are forced to become killer, user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and FOAF. HorsePorn is the industry leader of customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box structuring. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will redefine the capacity of experiences to integrate. Think mega-dot-com. The accounting factor is back-end. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our robust ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you embrace globally, you may have to drive efficiently. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for handling new user communities? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you deliver magnetically, you may have to exploit extensibly.