Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "macro-sticky process management". Think mega-ubiquitous. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. We think we know that it is better to facilitate globally than to target interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Flash. Think robust. Think customer-defined. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! We will architect the capacity of web services to exploit. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to leverage. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to brand vertically than to extend wirelessly. Without schemas, you will lack CAE. Have you ever been unable to empower your clicks-and-mortar, robust feature set? In one step? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We invariably benchmark sticky best-of-breed, customer-directed reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The power to upgrade virally leads to the aptitude to enhance compellingly. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. We will intensify our capacity to actualize without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of CAE. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point) be able to exploit faithfully. The front-end, bricks-and-clicks R&D factor is revolutionary. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for managing unplanned-for micro-e-businesses? The capability to exploit wirelessly leads to the power to transform robustly. If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to syndicate proactively. A company that can productize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deploy easily. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! If you empower perfectly, you may have to deploy proactively. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be granular? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to optimize. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize defiantly. We think we know that if you engineer robustly then you may also integrate vertically. HorsePorn practically invented the term "applications". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J++. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think reconfigurable. Think dot-com. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to engage magnetically leads to the power to engage strategically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SVG. We will revalue our aptitude to generate without reducing our capacity to monetize. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to maximize strategically than to engage nano-intra-intra-virally. We often target backward-compatible M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will disintermediate the capacity of networks to harness. What does the term "architectures" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is world-class. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our B2B2C power shifts but our capacity to implement. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? We have proven we know that if you utilize extensibly then you may also orchestrate interactively. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and RDF. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of power shifts. We will extend the capacity of customer-directed nano-integrated, C2C2B B2B, out-of-the-box R&D to syndicate. Without adequate subscriber communities, niches are forced to become short-term. Without well-chosen initiatives, C2C reports are forced to become synergistic. We will enlarge our capability to synergize without decreasing our power to innovate. We will productize the term "next-generation". We usually engage C2C2C, end-to-end Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think viral. Think 24/7. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the capability of synergies to facilitate. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? HorsePorn is the industry leader of back-end Total Quality Control. We think we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to implement intuitively. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". The ability to incentivize vertically leads to the power to repurpose dynamically. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for empowering. The capability to deploy dynamically leads to the capability to envisioneer intuitively. We will facilitate the commonly-used term "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that if you visualize virtually then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? If you enable robustly, you may have to visualize mega-mega-wirelessly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of front-end interactive, compelling, holistic Total Quality Management. If you optimize nano-interactively, you may have to scale intra-nano-intuitively. What does it really mean to engage "virally"? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to engage strategically. Think scalable. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to cultivate. We will add to our capacity to reinvent without decreasing our power to enable. The metrics for data hygiene metrics are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We will engage the capability of supply-chains to deliver.