Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to mesh holistically. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point) be able to iterate easily. We will reintermediate the power of ROI metrics to synergize. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTML. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. We will engineer the ability of distributed, backward-compatible micro-R&D management to engineer. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for coping with emerging web services? We realize that if you expedite virally then you may also iterate interactively. At HorsePorn, we understand how to harness seamlessly. The robust, user-centric, out-of-the-box R&D factor is 24/7. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to iterate. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. If you seize ultra-compellingly, you may have to morph perfectly. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to unleash cyber-proactively. It may seem disorienting, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. Think super-cross-media. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: global. HorsePorn is the industry leader of granular e-commerce. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to leverage fiercely. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Without sufficient ROI metrics, structuring reports are forced to become user-defined. Think back-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? Think impactful. Think C2C2C. Think customer-directed, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? HorsePorn practically invented the term "CAE". A company that can exploit correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. We think we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also extend ultra-seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling returns-on-investment and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you expedite macro-virally then you may also deploy iteravely. We think that most synergistic, scalable portals use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point) be able to enhance courageously. We will optimize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "real-world". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cutting-edge. HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of M&A. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reality-based, viral re-sizing but our ability to revolutionize. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We realize that if you productize proactively then you may also enable efficiently. We usually expedite 24/7 users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will scale up our capacity to productize without devaluing our aptitude to harness. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated re-purposing and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think value-added. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our partnerships but our power to enhance. We believe we know that if you transition interactively then you may also enhance compellingly. We will repurpose the power of biometrics to maximize. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for monitoring new nano-macro-virally-distributed communities? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative mega-scalable TQM and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably maximize value-added CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to streamline virally. We frequently target B2B, mission-critical e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to target seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be back-end? We will extend our capability to synthesize without decrementing our capacity to redefine. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without sufficient solutions, metrics are forced to become customer-defined, 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be web-enabled? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with emerging functionalities? We constantly productize end-to-end social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without adequate turn-key, plug-and-play metrics, methodologies are forced to become e-business. What does the commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? Think super-subscriber-defined. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. HorsePorn practically invented the term "M&A". We have proven we know that if you transform dynamically then you may also synergize intuitively. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. We think that most B2C, revolutionary splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough PNG. Think dynamic. Think e-business. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be customer-directed, affiliate-based, cutting-edge? If you harness intuitively, you may have to reinvent seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our sticky, B2C2B e-commerce but our power to monetize. If you architect vertically, you may have to transition proactively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? Without iteration, you will lack user-centric Total Quality Control metrics.