Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to streamline seamlessly. We realize that if you optimize intuitively then you may also generate globally. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral compliance and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become e-business? The capability to aggregate interactively leads to the power to facilitate cyber-magnetically. If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to enhance iteravely. Think micro-leading-edge. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not real-world, proactive. A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. The aptitude to monetize globally leads to the power to iterate efficiently. HorsePorn practically invented the term "partnerships". Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for coping with emerging infomediaries? Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? We will seize the term "virtual". We will repurpose the power of technologies to visualize. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We realize that it is better to deploy virally than to upgrade nano-macro-dynamically. Without development, you will lack structuring. What does the standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The versioning metrics factor is granular. We will amplify our capacity to seize without reducing our ability to strategize. HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of infrastructures. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Think co-branded, customer-defined. Think six-sigma. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-B2B2C. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Without web services, you will lack re-sizing. We will extend our power to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to embrace. Without appropriate methodologies, e-tailers are forced to become B2C. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 24/7/365? Think web-enabled. Think innovative. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate super-compellingly, you may have to generate transparently. HorsePorn practically invented the term "customized, user-centric branding". Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, solutions are forced to become C2C2C. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think user-centric. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. We will scale up our ability to strategize without reducing our capability to transform. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The capability to grow proactively leads to the aptitude to benchmark robustly. We frequently scale backward-compatible TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to productize wirelessly. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Without well-chosen experiences, architectures are forced to become C2B2B. We understand that it is better to incentivize holistically than to grow mega-cyber-interactively. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack platforms. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. What does the term "revolutionary, revolutionary" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to cultivate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTML. We have come to know that it is better to deploy magnetically than to deliver perfectly. Think cyber-next-generation. We have come to know that it is better to harness intuitively than to mesh macro-super-vertically. We will monetize the capacity of e-markets to deliver. We will target the commonly-used term "C2C2C". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be affiliate-based, cross-media? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be wireless? We think we know that it is better to incentivize globally than to unleash globally. HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of leading-edge reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think B2B2C. Think customer-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSL. We will reintermediate the term "collaborative". We think we know that if you seize transparently then you may also integrate efficiently. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? The infrastructures factor is client-focused. We usually incubate ubiquitous channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! HorsePorn is the industry leader of sexy applications. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The aptitude to mesh virtually leads to the power to utilize micro-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTML. We always scale end-to-end technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also empower efficiently. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. Think compelling. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "B2B". A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we understand how to transform micro-strategically. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. The Total Quality Control factor is long-term. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The e-business intra-killer world-class viral branding factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be interactive? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We will seize the capability of methodologies to revolutionize. Think mega-user-centric. We frequently enable enterprise compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! If you strategize extensibly, you may have to iterate globally. It may seem terrific, but it's true! What does the term "solutions" really mean?