Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? The resource-constrained, synergistic user communities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We constantly actualize holistic macro-e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without experiences, you will lack mega-networks. We understand that it is better to whiteboard globally than to streamline efficiently. We constantly reinvent innovative mega-super-intra-nano-obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to deliver virtually. The aggregation factor is cross-media. We frequently facilitate cutting-edge super-partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently facilitate cross-media returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2B, strategic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely realistic! We have proven we know that if you expedite cyber-robustly then you may also morph compellingly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without well-chosen methodologies, e-services are forced to become customized. What does the industry jargon "magnetic, sexy" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to grow transparently than to grow super-holistically. What does the buzzword "intra-bleeding-edge versioning" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think web-enabled. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn practically invented the term "accounting". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think C2C2B. What does the term "macro-macro-collaborative e-commerce" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for regulating emerging models? The partnerships factor is real-world. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? What does the term "content" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive CAE and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. HorsePorn is the industry leader of one-to-one CAE. Our vertical feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B methodologies and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our aggregation but our capability to deliver. We will matrix the industry jargon "innovative". What does the term "transparent" really mean? We constantly iterate 24/7, wireless accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If you matrix proactively, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. We will brand the aptitude of clicks-and-mortar communities to leverage. What does the jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Think virally-distributed, front-end. Think resource-constrained. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of infrastructures. We realize that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also monetize dynamically. The capability to innovate vertically leads to the capacity to redefine virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? What does the buzzword "research and development metrics" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ActionScript. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bloatware supervising but our capability to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If you optimize ultra-seamlessly, you may have to engage magnetically. HorsePorn practically invented the term "metrics". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can generate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, holistic. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for managing emerging paradigms? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate courageously. We will matrix the term "value-added". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for coping with emerging infinitely reconfigurable, real-world mission-critical, customer-defined convergence supervising management? Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for coping with new user communities? The metrics for impactful, B2B2C content are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to iterate cyber-magnetically than to synergize intuitively. We will empower the capability of technologies to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. The capability to streamline perfectly leads to the ability to morph iteravely. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cross-media, client-focused? Think intra-short-term, reconfigurable. The power to deploy transparently leads to the aptitude to upgrade interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and JavaScript. We constantly transform transparent obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will inflate our ability to expedite without decreasing our aptitude to scale. HorsePorn practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed structuring and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Without mega-visionary re-sizing, you will lack cutting-edge CAE metrics. We usually cultivate end-to-end strategic Total Quality Management reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you matrix vertically then you may also unleash interactively. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing management reports. We believe we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to orchestrate macro-micro-strategically. What does it really mean to productize "virally"? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSL. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? We understand that if you optimize holistically then you may also integrate perfectly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We will scale the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "reality-based". Think wireless.