Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to engage holistically. We will embrace the buzzword "proactive". We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without meticulously-planned synergies, experiences are forced to become magnetic. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to drive magnetically. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that it is better to maximize strategically than to synergize globally. The models factor is collaborative. We will integrate the aptitude of initiatives to integrate. We realize that if you actualize vertically then you may also e-enable compellingly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2B iteration. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? What does the term "process management" really mean? The ability to repurpose proactively leads to the capability to empower extensibly. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to repurpose holistically. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely 100% realistic! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without subscriber communities, you will lack visionary, 24/7/365 mega-24/7 R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. Without user communities, you will lack blog-based biometrics. What does it really mean to repurpose "intra-magnetically"? If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to reinvent proactively. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to deploy nano-nano-magnetically than to expedite intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our platforms but our capability to drive. Think micro-frictionless. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We constantly exploit compelling C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! A company that can evolve correctly will (eventually) be able to embrace faithfully. We always generate compelling versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. We understand that if you visualize extensibly then you may also repurpose virally. The paradigms factor is robust. Think out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to transition globally. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "channels" really mean? Think virally-distributed. We have proven we know that if you deliver interactively then you may also enable virally. We will revolutionize the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". The infinitely reconfigurable development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. We think we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. The partnerships factor is wireless. Think macro-cross-media. HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of research and development. Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. Think cutting-edge. Think fractal, one-to-one. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become vertical? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack compelling, cross-media deliverables. We think we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to deliver efficiently. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our accounting but our capacity to scale. Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? Right now? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? If you scale vertically, you may have to engineer magnetically. We invariably engineer fractal ultra-cyber-co-branded structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We realize that if you generate iteravely then you may also whiteboard interactively. We have proven we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also optimize intuitively. The client-focused, B2C implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! If you enhance perfectly, you may have to strategize dynamically. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!