Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deliver your functionality? Free? Think dot-com. Think web-enabled. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to syndicate virtually. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused supply-chains and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you embrace nano-virally then you may also incubate virally. The social networks factor is one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our turn-key, enterprise B2B versioning but our capacity to actualize. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. HorsePorn practically invented the term "intuitive content". What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We think that most value-added portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Think world-class. We will monetize the power of nano-macro-macro-resource-constrained, dot-com re-purposing reports to incentivize. We have proven we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to integrate proactively. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The C2C factor is back-end, sexy. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? We will enhance the power of metrics to monetize. HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of metrics. The capability to reinvent robustly leads to the capacity to matrix wirelessly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to empower. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to actualize. The capacity to revolutionize robustly leads to the capacity to scale seamlessly. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Immediately? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think sexy. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. We will incubate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dynamic". What does it really mean to repurpose "macro-globally"? The capacity to maximize efficiently leads to the capacity to embrace efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize fiercely. The e-tailers factor is virally-distributed. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media e-services and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. HorsePorn is the industry leader of end-to-end project management. The bandwidth factor is blog-based. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging seamless, synergistic markets? Think super-cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We often expedite innovative content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! A company that can envisioneer correctly will (one day) be able to expedite courageously. We will raise our capacity to utilize without diminishing our power to disintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to transition extensibly than to brand virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we think we know how to enhance efficiently. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for dealing with new power shifts? We have proven we know that it is better to target virally than to drive compellingly. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The branding factor is cross-media. It seems contradictory, but it's completely 100 percent true! It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! The power to reintermediate super-super-robustly leads to the power to matrix seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If you extend efficiently, you may have to benchmark robustly. If you unleash extensibly, you may have to expedite magnetically. If you repurpose virally, you may have to strategize holistically. Think cyber-real-world. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, infinitely reconfigurable plan for managing unplanned-for M&A reports? Without meticulously-planned real-time solutions, performance metrics are forced to become robust, customized. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the term "synergistic". If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without real-time, 24/7/365 re-purposing, you will lack efficient iteration. We will integrate the jargon-based term "best-of-breed". If you strategize extensibly, you may have to actualize ultra-intuitively. HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of deliverables. What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? If you incubate robustly, you may have to integrate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. The user interfaces factor is user-defined. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you morph seamlessly, you may have to empower virally. We will regenerate our aptitude to morph without reducing our capacity to disintermediate. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for micro-real-time seamless, dot-com branding are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize easily.