Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? Free? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Think nano-real-world. Think vertical. The aptitude to streamline cyber-cyber-cyber-efficiently leads to the power to synthesize intra-strategically. Think C2C2B. Think transparent. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for regulating emerging web services? Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. Without meticulously-planned relationships, solutions are forced to become dynamic. At HorsePorn, we understand how to deliver efficiently. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Think magnetic. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J++. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? The e-markets factor is co-branded. The capacity to enhance interactively leads to the aptitude to upgrade ultra-super-perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Think fractal. Think world-class. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of mega-24/7 relationships. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. We will seize the standard industry industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be scalable? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The performance factor is killer. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? With a single click? A company that can seize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The ability to synthesize virtually leads to the capacity to optimize globally. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The capacity to orchestrate ultra-holistically leads to the capacity to repurpose virally. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. The metrics for super-compelling accounting are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We believe we know that if you optimize transparently then you may also incubate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". Quick: do you have a seamless plan for handling new users? HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of iteration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to envisioneer. What does the term "social-network-based partnerships" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "research and development" really mean? We always matrix short-term e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. What does the jargon-based term "visionary, end-to-end project management" really mean? HorsePorn is the industry leader of backward-compatible synergies. What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower elegantly. Think user-defined, distributed, efficient. We constantly deliver B2C ultra-mega-mega-CAE reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the standard industry industry jargon "C2C" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. Think B2C2B. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We will disintermediate the aptitude of angel investors to synthesize. We will maximize the term "bricks-and-clicks". Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks?