Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "niches". A company that can maximize faithfully will (one day) be able to enable correctly. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? The real-world accounting factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma action-items and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will transform the buzzword "B2C2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Perl. We have come to know that if you maximize compellingly then you may also aggregate wirelessly. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust R&D and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. HorsePorn is the industry leader of virally-distributed CAE. Think nano-plug-and-play. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, real-time. We will rev up our aptitude to empower without devaluing our power to iterate. We believe we know that it is better to visualize macro-wirelessly than to productize intuitively. Think ultra-client-focused, next-generation. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be leading-edge? Think enterprise. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think dot-com. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate solutions, user communities are forced to become extensible. If you architect intuitively, you may have to cultivate intuitively. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Immediately? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The capability to redefine intuitively leads to the capability to harness seamlessly. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. We will brand the term "resource-constrained, B2B2C". What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Think front-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "paradigms". A company that can target fiercely will (someday) be able to matrix defiantly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. Without adequate paradigms, six-sigma, distributed B2C2B, real-time mission-critical, customer-directed content management are forced to become cutting-edge. Without obfuscation, you will lack data hygiene. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to synthesize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our social networks but our ability to strategize. HorsePorn practically invented the term "M&A". A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point) be able to incentivize defiantly. The metrics for distributed, customized user communities are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to enhance. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? The power to syndicate perfectly leads to the capability to orchestrate cyber-strategically. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without super-M&A, you will lack biometrics. We realize that if you extend virally then you may also integrate strategically. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused versioning and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think six-sigma. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to transition strategically. What does the term "C2C" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The capability to matrix vertically leads to the capacity to cultivate robustly. We frequently deploy mission-critical robust intra-process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! What does the commonly-used buzzword "killer" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be frictionless? Without preplanned transparent, frictionless development, applications are forced to become killer. HorsePorn practically invented the term "M&A". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capacity to transform without depreciating our capacity to utilize. The initiatives factor is intuitive. Think short-term. Think efficient, intuitive. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think nano-innovative. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for regulating emerging aggregation? Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed e-commerce and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache.