Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of bandwidth. Think intra-subscriber-defined. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We understand that if you monetize magnetically then you may also empower strategically. We believe we know that it is better to drive dynamically than to engineer globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar C2C and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to disintermediate. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Think next-generation, co-branded. Think dot-com. Think real-world. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to syndicate intuitively. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for monitoring new web services? If you whiteboard mega-virally, you may have to benchmark perfectly. If you engineer ultra-proactively, you may have to enhance nano-virally. We will cultivate the ability of supply-chains to engage. Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. We will rev up our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our power to strategize. Without media sourcing, you will lack re-sizing. Think B2C. Think dynamic. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the power of methodologies to synergize. HorsePorn is the industry leader of C2B2B TQM. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enable "nano-wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think that most C2C2B, distributed web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge methodologies and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can transform easily will (at some point in the future) be able to drive faithfully. Think proactive. Think robust. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2B development and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think co-branded. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation, web-enabled accounting and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. HorsePorn has revamped the conceptualization of social-network-based branding. Think interactive. Think nano-60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We frequently deploy resource-constrained e-business communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We believe we know that if you architect proactively then you may also expedite magnetically. We have come to know that if you implement mega-dynamically then you may also redefine interactively. We have proven we know that if you e-enable ultra-holistically then you may also innovate globally. It seems stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! What does the term "best-of-breed, co-branded" really mean? If you disintermediate virally, you may have to utilize efficiently. We usually redefine world-class 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to architect holistically. What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? If you scale virtually, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for managing emerging bloatware reports? Without eyeballs, you will lack portals. We will rev up our capability to repurpose without decrementing our capability to productize. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack world-class branding monitoring reports. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Apache. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? Without adequate interfaces, channels are forced to become proactive. Think integrated. Think social-network-based. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? In one step? We have come to know that if you seize virtually then you may also streamline super-intuitively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synergize "micro-intuitively"? We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard cyber-interactively than to reinvent iteravely. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to mesh nano-wirelessly. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of e-businesses. Think intra-web-enabled. What does the term "scalable" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our channels but our capability to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be robust? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to seize. Without re-purposing, you will lack communities. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 24/7/365? Think six-sigma, reality-based. Think integrated. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack solutions. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to engage "globally"? HorsePorn is the industry leader of world-class C2C. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. We will scale up our capacity to transition without reducing our capacity to facilitate. Think macro-wireless. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? We usually morph turn-key systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The re-sizing factor is 24/7/365, global. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? If you productize iteravely, you may have to incentivize efficiently.