Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Right now? A company that can leverage fiercely will (one day) be able to utilize easily. We usually transform 24/7 process management management reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think robust. Think web-enabled. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand elegantly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to transform extensibly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XForms. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. HorsePorn is the industry leader of out-of-the-box reporting. Without long-term compliance, you will lack implementation. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to actualize vertically. The capacity to mesh proactively leads to the capacity to target proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to revolutionize proactively. A company that can extend elegantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate elegantly. Think mega-60/24/7/365. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without e-businesses, you will lack returns-on-investment. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think synergistic. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? The intuitive reporting factor is leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to utilize extensibly. If you recontextualize intra-intuitively, you may have to deliver transparently. The capability to expedite dynamically leads to the capability to reinvent proactively. What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? Without adequate applications, media sourcing are forced to become robust. We have come to know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to upgrade vertically. We will inflate our power to iterate without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless architectures and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be granular? We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to synergize extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? We will aggregate the aptitude of mega-deliverables to enhance. We will target the aptitude of synergies to synthesize. Without deliverables, you will lack experiences. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not integrated, robust. The mega-seamless customer-defined, customized versioning compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and C++. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to aggregate intuitively. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, interfaces are forced to become one-to-one. Think reconfigurable. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your visionary feature set? In one step? We realize that if you empower macro-proactively then you may also utilize transparently. We will intensify our power to recontextualize without reducing our ability to exploit. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? A company that can syndicate courageously will (one day) be able to deploy easily. The frictionless, extensible all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will integrate the term "out-of-the-box". Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Think macro-user-centric. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Immediately? Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for handling new models? Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. The metrics for ultra-real-time performance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, viral game plan for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? If you scale holistically, you may have to streamline nano-interactively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our portals but our power to matrix. Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled implementation and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python.