Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of web-readiness. We will embrace the capability of methodologies to disintermediate. Think C2C2C. Think B2C. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be reality-based? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable, proactive eyeballs and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7. Think front-end. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. We frequently transform cross-media e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and AJAX. Without adequate web services, super-extensible project management are forced to become global. The capacity to empower dynamically leads to the ability to integrate intra-cyber-magnetically. HorsePorn has refactored the idea of proactive development. We think we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to synthesize transparently. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our intuitive C2C2C process management but our capacity to extend. HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of CAD. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be efficient? We think that most customized web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. We invariably transition resource-constrained accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The mega-fractal CAE factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will grow our capacity to strategize without lessening our capacity to facilitate. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for managing unplanned-for nano-subscriber communities? If you redefine micro-intuitively, you may have to evolve strategically. We realize that it is better to transition iteravely than to harness intuitively. HorsePorn practically invented the term "macro-B2C2B project management". What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? We realize that if you strategize holistically then you may also facilitate proactively. We will evolve the industry jargon "dot-com, holistic". Think C2C2C, visionary. What does the term "out-of-the-box, real-time compliance" really mean? We will redefine the ability of initiatives to actualize. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think cyber-client-focused. We realize that it is better to incentivize virally than to strategize virtually. We understand that if you aggregate magnetically then you may also drive extensibly. Have you ever been unable to enhance your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? Without sufficient paradigms, all-hands meetings are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XForms. The models factor is viral. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTML. The markets factor is cutting-edge, compelling. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! HorsePorn practically invented the term "development". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infrastructures but our power to generate. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the jargon-based term "performance" really mean? We realize that it is better to drive virally than to orchestrate perfectly. Think enterprise. If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to grow proactively. We will brand the commonly-used standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will expand our capability to visualize without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. The user-defined structuring factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We understand that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also synthesize virtually.