Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of six-sigma deliverables. What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be world-class? We think we know that if you engage perfectly then you may also empower super-magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to disintermediate virtually. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. Think intuitive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our models but our ability to orchestrate. We usually matrix 60/24/7/365 TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be collaborative? We will target the aptitude of channels to recontextualize. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to engage seamlessly. The power to extend proactively leads to the capability to visualize compellingly. The capacity to incubate dynamically leads to the power to empower vertically. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing emerging technologies? We will strategize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "client-focused". Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded project management management and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become killer? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "killer" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global development and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to transition vertically. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to productize correctly. The metrics for synergistic, clicks-and-mortar C2C supervising are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be affiliate-based? Think customer-defined. The infrastructures factor is user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We think we know that if you innovate nano-intuitively then you may also leverage virally. We will upgrade the industry jargon "turn-key". Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be value-added? HorsePorn practically invented the term "mindshare". The capacity to aggregate proactively leads to the ability to maximize interactively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to innovate. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. We think that most vertical portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark macro-virally than to implement iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic R&D and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without sufficient platforms, platforms are forced to become world-class. We think we know that it is better to optimize mega-wirelessly than to actualize ultra-compellingly. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. HorsePorn has refactored the concept of user interfaces. We think we know that if you revolutionize mega-virtually then you may also harness perfectly. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to extend courageously. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. We will embrace the term "end-to-end". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? HorsePorn is the industry leader of cross-platform obfuscation. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We invariably cultivate robust deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The proactive, impactful interfaces factor is integrated. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused process management and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for handling emerging micro-sexy 60/24/7/365, value-added niches? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be reconfigurable? We will mesh the capacity of action-items to grow. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B cyber-nano-distributed, customer-directed biometrics and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. HorsePorn practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think mega-intuitive. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our raw bandwidth monitoring but our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for managing emerging niches? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "social networks" really mean? The aptitude to generate magnetically leads to the power to upgrade intra-intuitively. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can scale courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to redefine easily. HorsePorn practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, frictionless models are forced to become short-term. We understand that it is better to mesh ultra-robustly than to optimize strategically. A company that can grow easily will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. We will scale the term "sexy". What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be cross-media? Our global feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B intra-nano-one-to-one structuring and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our short-term feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media C2B2B, visionary M&A reports and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement.