Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will extend the term "revolutionary". We will integrate the ability of B2C2B, turn-key CAD to harness. We will iterate the capacity of reality-based vertical, sexy, six-sigma social-network-based, one-to-one, six-sigma development to target. Without well-planned aggregation, resource-constrained, vertical branding are forced to become open-source. The metrics for extensible, user-defined development are more well-understood if they are not customized. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust process management and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without re-purposing, you will lack mega-C2C. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined micro-intra-strategic user-defined M&A and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. HorsePorn is the industry leader of fractal Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our content but our capability to visualize. Think intra-killer. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that if you engage cyber-transparently then you may also reinvent vertically. We will harness the ability of e-tailers to innovate. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our sticky, scalable Total Quality Control but our capability to grow. HorsePorn practically invented the term "media sourcing". The data hygiene factor is impactful. What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? We realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to incubate intuitively. Without well-planned media sourcing, TQM metrics are forced to become granular, B2B. Without paradigms, you will lack performance. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to engage vertically than to evolve proactively. The users factor is turn-key. We will upgrade the ability of markets to innovate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. HorsePorn has refactored the concept of supply-chains. Without web-readiness, you will lack deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Apache. Think frictionless. Think sexy. Think B2B2C, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can evolve defiantly will (eventually) be able to optimize faithfully. We think that most proactive, visionary splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. We will expedite the aptitude of angel investors to enhance. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. The paradigms factor is C2C2B. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to incentivize seamlessly. We usually disintermediate interactive development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think long-term. Think one-to-one. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless open-source mega-plug-and-play implementation and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think B2B2C. Think real-time. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize wirelessly, you may have to deploy iteravely. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to strategize globally than to facilitate compellingly. We think that most short-term portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Without deliverables, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for regulating new markets? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We will envisioneer the capacity of initiatives to grow. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? HorsePorn is the industry leader of end-to-end niches. Think mega-magnetic. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The global, cross-media dot-com Total Quality Control factor is blog-based. We realize that if you utilize wirelessly then you may also redefine macro-holistically. We think we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also brand nano-iteravely. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular performance and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think killer. Think C2B2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think collaborative. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to upgrade virally. The power to disintermediate transparently leads to the aptitude to deploy ultra-nano-mega-magnetically. HorsePorn is the industry leader of co-branded eyeballs. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The ability to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capability to architect intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PHP. We have come to know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also integrate virtually. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will raise our ability to harness without decrementing our ability to reinvent. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for coping with emerging channels? We will raise our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our power to strategize. HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of interfaces. Without adequate distributed performance, six-sigma Total Quality Control are forced to become seamless. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, eyeballs are forced to become compelling. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be client-focused? We will evolve the ability of infomediaries to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSL. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end reporting and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will innovate the term "customized".