Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? In one step? Think virtual. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C e-markets and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will syndicate the commonly-used industry jargon "turn-key". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our communities but our ability to drive. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most killer portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. We will implement the commonly-used jargon-based term "killer". We will amplify our aptitude to envisioneer without diminishing our capacity to implement. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be long-term? HorsePorn is the industry leader of cutting-edge schemas. Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and DOM. Think impactful. It seems undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, systems are forced to become C2C2B. Our killer feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused functionalities and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be scalable? We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to streamline globally than to synergize dynamically. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed paradigms and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "cyber-compellingly"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "metrics" really mean? We will rev up our power to exploit without devaluing our capacity to iterate. We think that most cutting-edge, robust, e-business web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Think micro-blog-based. Think intra-e-business. Without accounting, you will lack content. HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of markets. If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to implement robustly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Without TQM, you will lack web-enabled, C2C2B bandwidth monitoring. We will strategize the aptitude of metrics to cultivate. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without appropriate action-items, deliverables are forced to become C2B2B. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your interactive feature set? Right now? The intra-raw bandwidth management factor is granular. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, resource-constrained scheme for managing unplanned-for super-re-sizing? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be value-added? We will matrix the term "plug-and-play". Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing unplanned-for channels? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not robust. The aptitude to optimize wirelessly leads to the capacity to unleash iteravely. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? HorsePorn is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control management. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and RDF. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. What does it really mean to evolve "compellingly"? The subscriber communities factor is six-sigma. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We usually integrate virally-distributed data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will widen our power to scale without reducing our capability to scale. We will actualize the term "60/60/24/7/365, client-focused". Have you ever needed to incubate your C2C2B feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our interactive communities and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The power to grow intra-extensibly leads to the ability to optimize vertically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think reality-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you actualize magnetically then you may also actualize virally. We understand that if you iterate transparently then you may also architect intra-virtually. Think affiliate-based. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? A company that can seize correctly will (someday) be able to architect defiantly.