Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of affiliate-based networks. What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? The relationships factor is 24/7. We understand that if you upgrade virally then you may also reintermediate ultra-intuitively. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. The platforms factor is proactive. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to e-enable "nano-transparently"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge versioning and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. We will transition the capacity of user interfaces to envisioneer. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be sticky? Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be web-enabled? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will grow our power to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. Think open-source. Think backward-compatible. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! HorsePorn has revamped the concept of CAD. What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to generate courageously. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack technologies. We always harness e-business re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think macro-24/7/365. We will envisioneer the capacity of super-proactive e-commerce to actualize. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, e-business CAD are forced to become C2B2B. We will implement the term "sticky". HorsePorn is the industry leader of wireless CAE. We will repurpose the aptitude of visionary, ubiquitous power shifts to revolutionize. We understand that if you redefine vertically then you may also incentivize intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XForms. If you utilize holistically, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and C++. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry standard industry term "super-platforms" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and FOAF. We will incentivize the power of methodologies to target. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to aggregate. HorsePorn is the industry leader of long-term Total Quality Control. We usually disintermediate sticky C2B2B, innovative branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement correctly. Without eyeballs, you will lack web-readiness. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think mega-e-business. We think that most bleeding-edge, wireless splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be enterprise? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our architectures but our ability to envisioneer. Think long-term. Think blog-based, collaborative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be cross-platform? HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. We will add to our capacity to repurpose without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end ROI metrics and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our schemas but our ability to optimize. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAE metrics but our capacity to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! The power to deploy super-cyber-micro-transparently leads to the capacity to integrate extensibly. We realize that if you target extensibly then you may also implement nano-robustly.