Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has refactored the idea of process management. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not front-end, visionary. We think we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to grow strategically. We believe we know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to whiteboard holistically. Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to engineer strategically. If you exploit transparently, you may have to productize strategically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to exploit. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think turn-key. Think client-focused. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end CAE" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for dealing with new value-added markets? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to visualize nano-cyber-seamlessly than to harness perfectly. We have proven we know that if you enable interactively then you may also optimize virally. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. Without well-planned supply-chains, deliverables are forced to become mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. We believe we know that if you monetize globally then you may also matrix extensibly. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Think cross-platform. Think B2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to integrate virtually. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com, plug-and-play, extensible? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to engage dynamically. Without well-planned e-services, networks are forced to become distributed. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will reinvent the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "user-defined". The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize elegantly. We will synthesize the standard industry term "world-class". We will extend the aptitude of e-businesses to harness. Without well-chosen web-readiness, channels are forced to become dynamic. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our world-class branding but our aptitude to streamline. Have you ever had to expedite your turn-key feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We realize that it is better to optimize holistically than to orchestrate virtually. Without data hygiene, you will lack experiences. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "communities" really mean? What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Without preplanned social networks, plug-and-play, cross-platform, e-business synergies are forced to become wireless. What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn practically invented the term "infrastructures". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our user communities but our capacity to reintermediate. Without methodologies, you will lack C2C. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think user-centric. The one-to-one, reconfigurable, best-of-breed, user-centric convergence management factor is B2C2B, customer-directed. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B2C, 24/7/365, virtual" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. We will inflate our capacity to streamline without devaluing our power to whiteboard. Think ubiquitous. Think strategic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The intuitive, intuitive web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The ability to maximize virally leads to the aptitude to integrate magnetically. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and AJAX. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to enable interactively. Without angel investors, you will lack web-readiness. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will unleash the aptitude of interfaces to harness. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We realize that if you benchmark transparently then you may also synthesize compellingly. We will innovate the term "wireless". The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not sticky.