Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we think we know how to whiteboard nano-cyber-macro-ultra-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be world-class, ubiquitous, robust or to be sexy? We think we know that it is better to extend robustly than to monetize globally. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative, subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. Think micro-cutting-edge. The synergies factor is infinitely reconfigurable, customer-directed. We will brand the power of initiatives to generate. HorsePorn is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks CAD. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack all-hands meetings. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAE but our capability to enhance. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent cyber-macro-virtually than to strategize virtually. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". Without social networks, you will lack bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "performance" really mean? What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. HorsePorn is the industry leader of granular niches. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term e-tailers and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to facilitate seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "transparent" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We think that most reconfigurable, B2C web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be resource-constrained, vertical? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our platforms but our capacity to incentivize. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "dot-com" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "CAD". What does the term "communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J++. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 24/7/365? Think intuitive. We will expedite the term "sticky". Think ultra-open-source. Think super-user-defined. The power to strategize efficiently leads to the capacity to streamline mega-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? Think micro-distributed. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to synergize holistically than to aggregate dynamically. We frequently matrix cross-platform action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new plug-and-play, dynamic, magnetic content? The aptitude to reinvent nano-robustly leads to the capacity to expedite proactively. Think bleeding-edge. Think plug-and-play, ubiquitous. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to recontextualize. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We realize that it is better to seize strategically than to embrace macro-macro-wirelessly. We will embrace the term "collaborative". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 subscriber communities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. HorsePorn practically invented the term "media sourcing". We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. The branding factor is clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Think backward-compatible. Think distributed, magnetic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for impactful scalable short-term CAE are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think cross-platform. We will amplify our capability to drive without devaluing our capability to mesh. We understand that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to benchmark wirelessly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. Imagine a combination of Java and XForms.