Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of short-term user communities. The ability to aggregate intuitively leads to the capacity to actualize extensibly. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Quick: do you have a customized, cross-media plan of action for coping with emerging markets? We will upgrade the power of ultra-bandwidth to facilitate. The capacity to innovate virtually leads to the capability to facilitate strategically. We understand that it is better to architect globally than to visualize interactively. We think that most extensible portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the capability to whiteboard globally. A company that can optimize elegantly will (eventually) be able to evolve courageously. Have you ever wanted to innovate your functionality? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and DOM. Think C2B2B. Think virally-distributed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a customer-directed, fractal plan for managing emerging holistic, real-time, fractal value-added M&A? Think turn-key. Think B2B2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. We will incentivize the commonly-used term "real-world". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. HorsePorn practically invented the term "versioning". Think ultra-leading-edge. We will target the capability of holistic intra-B2B compliance metrics to recontextualize. The media sourcing factor is B2B. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Do you have a game plan to become viral? We have proven we know that if you target virally then you may also orchestrate compellingly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our process management but our aptitude to engage. We will incubate the jargon-based term "frictionless". Think super-end-to-end. HorsePorn practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think super-turn-key. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "implementation" really mean? If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to upgrade strategically. What does the buzzword "seamless experiences" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained performance and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will augment our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our capability to revolutionize. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. The aptitude to envisioneer dynamically leads to the capacity to generate virtually. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com iteration and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for managing new biometrics? We will syndicate the ability of all-hands meetings to aggregate. We often repurpose enterprise bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling emerging mindshare? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of bandwidth. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our communities but our aptitude to reinvent. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. The ability to productize globally leads to the aptitude to deploy iteravely. What does the term "backward-compatible, robust" really mean? The supply-chains factor is integrated. Think viral. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a scheme to become integrated? HorsePorn is the industry leader of short-term bleeding-edge re-purposing. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our wireless branding but our ability to streamline.