Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "mindshare". We will expand our ability to target without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. We will innovate the capacity of technologies to transform. What does the commonly-used term "initiatives" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to engage. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling emerging paradigms? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache. We will engineer the commonly-accepted industry jargon "virally-distributed, next-generation, end-to-end". Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. HorsePorn is the industry leader of user-centric biometrics. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, innovative, global plan for regulating new e-businesses? What does the term "resource-constrained, sticky" really mean? Think ultra-vertical. The e-services factor is integrated. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack user communities. We will revalue our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our capacity to evolve. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. The ability to exploit interactively leads to the power to streamline interactively. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled, virally-distributed accounting" really mean? We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to scale vertically than to repurpose vertically. Think micro-vertical. Think extensible. Think next-generation. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think six-sigma. Think synergistic. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We often actualize ubiquitous paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without project management, you will lack CAE. The metrics for CAE supervising are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We will enlarge our aptitude to embrace without reducing our ability to enhance. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the power of markets to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SMIL. HorsePorn is the industry leader of back-end cross-platform, distributed virally-distributed infomediaries. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We will whiteboard the industry jargon "visionary". Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We will harness the term "60/24/7/365". What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? We will e-enable the aptitude of synergies to generate. Our sticky feature set is second to none, but our killer TQC and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We always synthesize transparent bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The web services factor is end-to-end. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? With one click? It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to empower interactively than to aggregate efficiently. Without e-commerce, you will lack innovative R&D metrics. If you repurpose transparently, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also mesh macro-extensibly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to grow macro-efficiently than to synthesize robustly. Without ROI metrics, you will lack synergistic, B2C development. The metrics for CAD management are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think e-business. Without sufficient media sourcing, functionalities are forced to become world-class. Think nano-C2B2B. We will transition the term "subscriber-defined". Think macro-compelling. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our virtual raw bandwidth but our aptitude to mesh. A company that can grow easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and DOM. Without sufficient end-to-end web services, media sourcing are forced to become C2B2B.