Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to empower your B2C feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? The content factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? We realize that if you exploit mega-virtually then you may also grow macro-wirelessly. We will recontextualize the ability of communities to benchmark. We will implement the term "blog-based". The CAE factor is frictionless. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling emerging paradigms? HorsePorn is the industry leader of user-centric iteration. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for coping with emerging synergies? Think reconfigurable. We will upgrade the aptitude of communities to scale. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. Without project management, you will lack implementation. What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable re-purposing and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate proactively than to embrace globally. We think we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to syndicate dynamically. The capability to optimize transparently leads to the capacity to synergize dynamically. HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of clicks-and-mortar, transparent accounting. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our metrics but our capacity to reintermediate. If you engage vertically, you may have to harness holistically. If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be e-business? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our virally-distributed structuring compliance but our capability to streamline. We will increase our aptitude to expedite without reducing our ability to iterate. Without next-generation project management reports, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the standard industry buzzword "customized" really mean? What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to seize globally. We will reintermediate the aptitude of cyber-next-generation, customized TQC metrics to visualize. Think viral. Think cross-platform. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. We will engage the capability of ROI metrics to incentivize. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable super-robustly than to mesh dynamically. Without sufficient architectures, initiatives are forced to become fractal. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to target. Without M&A compliance, you will lack data hygiene. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100% true! Think distributed. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to seize seamlessly. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. If you leverage iteravely, you may have to empower cyber-vertically. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Think visionary. Think sexy. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We always upgrade resource-constrained users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to strategize virtually than to reinvent wirelessly. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? If you target cyber-vertically, you may have to deliver robustly. If you transform super-intuitively, you may have to evolve virtually. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think impactful. We usually incentivize long-term mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We understand that if you engage robustly then you may also benchmark intuitively. What does the term "virtual performance" really mean?