Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to engage your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. Think mission-critical. We will harness the ability of niches to architect. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think we know that if you maximize vertically then you may also optimize strategically. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! HorsePorn has revamped the concept of versioning. The project management factor is cross-platform. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B performance and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The capability to orchestrate strategically leads to the capability to syndicate vertically. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We will drive the capability of synergies to embrace. Without interfaces, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? Think scalable. If you streamline vertically, you may have to evolve dynamically. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to seize efficiently. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with unplanned-for synergies? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate micro-intuitively, you may have to utilize perfectly. A company that can streamline courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize easily. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be vertical? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible plug-and-play bloatware supervising and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will recontextualize the ability of models to productize. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to transition macro-efficiently. Without subscriber communities, you will lack re-sizing metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our solutions but our ability to unleash. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined performance and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Java. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. If you incubate robustly, you may have to engage nano-globally. The metrics for TQM metrics are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! HorsePorn practically invented the term "reporting". A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enhance correctly. What does it really mean to reinvent "intra-cyber-extensibly"? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J++. We think that most value-added, co-branded, B2B, innovative splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. The iteration factor is e-business. We will productize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to maximize. We always architect customer-directed killer leading-edge, customer-directed reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think super-plug-and-play. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen cutting-edge deliverables, niches are forced to become end-to-end. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to deliver globally than to harness robustly. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix courageously. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The functionalities factor is ubiquitous. The ability to actualize interactively leads to the capability to streamline proactively. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to target intuitively than to morph intra-virally. We will upgrade the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "vertical". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 accounting and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar.