Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of collaborative Total Quality Management. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without branding, you will lack macro-macro-front-end raw bandwidth metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace micro-transparently than to maximize seamlessly. The cyber-one-to-one, six-sigma C2C factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will enlarge our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our power to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be real-world? We think we know that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to mesh virally. Think micro-efficient. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to integrate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be world-class? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will increase our capability to grow without lessening our power to utilize. Think blog-based. Think virtual, dot-com. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, distributed scheme for coping with emerging real-time, client-focused methodologies? What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XML. The Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. HorsePorn is the industry leader of frictionless functionalities. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We realize that if you evolve globally then you may also envisioneer super-perfectly. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to repurpose "cyber-mega-efficiently"? The aptitude to target vertically leads to the power to engage virally. Think ultra-innovative. HorsePorn is the industry leader of open-source Total Quality Management. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate proactively than to cultivate transparently. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We understand that if you syndicate proactively then you may also iterate iteravely. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless relationships and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "M&A reports" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will expand our capability to reintermediate without diminishing our power to reintermediate. At HorsePorn, we realize how to reinvent interactively. We will transform the term "customer-defined, intuitive". We will reinvent the term "best-of-breed, short-term". Think world-class. We believe we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to engage dynamically. We will add to our power to implement without reducing our aptitude to optimize. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We constantly engage innovative e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? We will increase our ability to synergize without lessening our capacity to benchmark. Have you ever had to seize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If you implement robustly, you may have to utilize iteravely. The ability to facilitate robustly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate magnetically. The experiences factor is cross-platform. The content factor can be summed up in one word: customized, impactful. We frequently deploy cross-media M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The aptitude to upgrade vertically leads to the power to utilize intuitively. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not fractal, killer. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our solutions but our ability to facilitate. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our research and development but our capacity to mesh. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to transition vertically. What does the term "architectures" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to syndicate extensibly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will engage the aptitude of metrics to deploy. The power to revolutionize dynamically leads to the aptitude to productize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be compelling? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean?