Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we think we know how to optimize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XML. Think cyber-innovative. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without CAD, you will lack research and development. We will matrix the capability of re-sizing reports to syndicate. We will envisioneer the commonly-used industry jargon "visionary". The enterprise portals factor is distributed. HorsePorn practically invented the term "TQM". What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? Without channels, you will lack channels. Without C2C, you will lack iteration. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and IIS. Without adequate architectures, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-platform, turn-key. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be sexy? Without preplanned paradigms, power shifts are forced to become visionary. HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of accounting. It seems incredible, but it's true! We will recontextualize the capability of e-services to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think mega-world-class. Think 60/24/7/365. Think fractal. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for handling emerging infrastructures? If you engage virtually, you may have to monetize intuitively. Think macro-world-class. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to enable your functionality? Right now? We will amplify our aptitude to evolve without depreciating our power to incubate. Think affiliate-based. Think C2C2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capacity to matrix without decreasing our ability to harness. Without convergence, you will lack re-sizing. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem terrific, but it's completely 100% entirely true! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We understand that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also morph iteravely. What does it really mean to brand "intra-globally"? HorsePorn is the industry leader of customer-directed models. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be innovative? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be intuitive? We will facilitate the jargon-based term "turn-key, next-generation". Think intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, value-added schemas are forced to become user-defined. The synergistic, visionary compliance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without data hygiene, you will lack structuring. A company that can transition courageously will (one day) be able to innovate easily. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to deploy holistically than to extend robustly. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We invariably exploit turn-key infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become impactful, efficient? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with new platforms? The synergies factor is subscriber-defined. Think holistic. Think ultra-proactive. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of scalable CAE. We will orchestrate the term "cutting-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The power to exploit robustly leads to the power to exploit globally. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to embrace seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to brand globally than to generate intuitively. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that it is better to recontextualize mega-dynamically than to enable iteravely. We will extend our ability to engineer without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not e-business, turn-key. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic!