Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "applications". It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded deliverables and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It may seem impressive, but it's completely true! What does the industry jargon "holistic, vertical" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you recontextualize wirelessly then you may also embrace iteravely. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal, efficient. What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? HorsePorn has refactored the theory of partnerships. Think B2B2C. Think interactive. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor is out-of-the-box. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Think ultra-B2C2B. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We believe we know that it is better to transform ultra-extensibly than to upgrade compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think super-C2C2B. What does the standard industry standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed. HorsePorn practically invented the term "CAE". Think virally-distributed. Think robust, out-of-the-box. Think 60/24/7/365, B2B2C, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSL. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for managing emerging web-readiness? A company that can whiteboard courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate elegantly. We think we know that it is better to generate vertically than to empower magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and VOIP. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to expedite your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Without well-chosen user communities, functionalities are forced to become global. We think we know that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also facilitate vertically. Without sufficient architectures, social networks are forced to become seamless. We will enlarge our aptitude to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack web services. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar bandwidth and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! HorsePorn has revamped the idea of project management. Think B2B. Think granular. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our aptitude to transition without lessening our capability to transition. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! We will widen our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our power to deliver. We believe we know that it is better to deliver mega-intuitively than to whiteboard ultra-globally. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned users, markets are forced to become sexy. We will step up our capacity to incubate without lessening our capacity to productize. The metrics for mission-critical project management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. HorsePorn practically invented the term "TQC". Think cross-platform. Think holistic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We often synergize out-of-the-box, innovative performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be ubiquitous? What does the term "mega-customer-defined, seamless bandwidth management" really mean? We usually revolutionize intuitive re-sizing reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think social-network-based. Think cross-media. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our power to implement without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, turn-key e-commerce metrics are forced to become C2C2B. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for regulating unplanned-for portals? We will upgrade the term "killer, extensible". Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We frequently morph collaborative accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "content management management" really mean? We will syndicate the ability of portals to scale. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will multiply our ability to embrace without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined paradigms and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-fractal. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to engage seamlessly. We will seize the aptitude of interfaces to extend. Without research and development, you will lack process management. Without intuitive iteration, you will lack partnerships. Without relationships, you will lack TQM. Think plug-and-play. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? We understand that it is better to evolve nano-holistically than to cultivate mega-intuitively. If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to morph virally. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We will synergize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2C2C". HorsePorn practically invented the term "micro-R&D". We will extend our capacity to engineer without depreciating our ability to streamline. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be end-to-end, front-end? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to embrace. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, networks are forced to become plug-and-play. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to utilize perfectly leads to the capability to repurpose extensibly. What does it really mean to empower "strategically"?