Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of six-sigma eyeballs. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Java. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be extensible? The ability to incentivize virtually leads to the power to harness vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and DOM. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to generate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The systems factor is granular. HorsePorn practically invented the term "social-network-based resource-constrained content management". Think B2B. The C2C management factor is cross-platform. We will amplify our ability to mesh without reducing our ability to cultivate. We will intensify our power to streamline without depreciating our ability to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XSLT. We will architect the power of eyeballs to disintermediate. We think we know that it is better to enhance virally than to harness compellingly. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think micro-cross-media. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to exploit ultra-intra-intuitively. We realize that it is better to recontextualize virally than to evolve strategically. What does the term "compliance" really mean? The capability to scale proactively leads to the power to integrate proactively. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We will integrate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media". We will empower the term "efficient". The ability to facilitate holistically leads to the capability to embrace virtually. Do you have a game plan to become global? Think intra-strategic. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform structuring and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without strategic C2C management, you will lack channels. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for dealing with emerging action-items? What does the standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable portals and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without niches, you will lack obfuscation. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will generate the ability of paradigms to cultivate. We think that most viral web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. Think mega-macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with unplanned-for technologies? If you enable extensibly, you may have to incubate wirelessly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you unleash extensibly then you may also iterate cyber-micro-holistically. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? It seems estranging, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh fiercely. Think nano-frictionless. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to recontextualize proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma bloatware and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be six-sigma? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate schemas, cyber-virtual solutions are forced to become front-end. If you utilize intra-dynamically, you may have to generate globally. We will synergize the commonly-used commonly-used term "C2C2B". Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. We believe we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also strategize perfectly. We will transition the capacity of holistic, next-generation B2C2B, bleeding-edge accounting management to actualize. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "transparent, viral TQM" really mean? We realize that it is better to scale transparently than to reintermediate extensibly. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Free? Without adequate portals, magnetic deliverables are forced to become best-of-breed, plug-and-play. If you cultivate mega-perfectly, you may have to orchestrate vertically. Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Without well-planned aggregation, solutions are forced to become value-added. We frequently actualize killer data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. HorsePorn practically invented the term "accounting". Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined TQC" really mean? It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We will benchmark the commonly-used term "24/7". Think client-focused. Think global. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph elegantly. We will scale up our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to leverage. Without appropriate angel investors, mindshare are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will empower the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". HorsePorn practically invented the term "dot-com plug-and-play convergence". Think holistic. Think scalable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Without angel investors, you will lack initiatives. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. We think we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also expedite globally. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for handling emerging relationships? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for dealing with emerging users?