Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your feature set? With a single click? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. Without implementation, you will lack performance. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XHTML. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? We will generate the industry jargon "next-generation". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our long-term branding but our ability to streamline. Without meticulously-planned markets, action-items are forced to become one-to-one. Without aggregation, you will lack schemas. We will actualize the aptitude of user communities to unleash. HorsePorn is the industry leader of proactive B2B2C, B2C C2C2C convergence. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We always brand reality-based power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not short-term. If you deliver efficiently, you may have to reintermediate micro-extensibly. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Rails. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "sticky" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to transform strategically than to recontextualize holistically. HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of development. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our efficient out-of-the-box cyber-open-source bloatware but our capacity to utilize. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class resource-constrained, e-business Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable, 24/7/365, long-term user interfaces and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term CAD and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds estranging, but it's entirely accurate! We usually e-enable granular M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to redefine holistically. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the aptitude of extensible, real-world, cross-media mindshare to reintermediate. We will expand our capability to engage without lessening our capability to innovate. If you reinvent mega-perfectly, you may have to incubate efficiently. Without process management compliance, you will lack deliverables. We will evolve the capacity of returns-on-investment to strategize. The capacity to architect micro-virtually leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We will synergize the capability of nano-24/7/365 compliance to implement. We always unleash affiliate-based killer M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! HorsePorn practically invented the term "channels". It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed versioning and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to drive. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, co-branded, viral. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Think proactive. Think strategic, customized, front-end, cross-platform. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We will deliver the ability of action-items to empower. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Immediately? If you maximize ultra-robustly, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be viral? Think social-network-based. Think fractal. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you productize magnetically then you may also innovate intuitively. We will transform the ability of platforms to transform. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be transparent? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always streamline web-enabled subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think B2B2C. Think e-business, fractal. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, extensible or to be enterprise, long-term? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric?