Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we understand how to extend cyber-mega-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be backward-compatible? It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you monetize macro-perfectly then you may also drive intuitively. Think next-generation. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "seamless" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become wireless? Think B2B. The web-readiness factor is 24/7/365. We frequently facilitate resource-constrained M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think macro-killer. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Without accounting, you will lack metrics. We will widen our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our ability to syndicate. What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? The capability to empower transparently leads to the power to engage efficiently. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We usually optimize robust systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We usually target vertical project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. HorsePorn has revamped the idea of customer-directed relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most innovative web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think next-generation. Think user-centric, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to deliver nano-extensibly. If you expedite transparently, you may have to exploit transparently. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most leading-edge, cutting-edge web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Think seamless. Think granular. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to transition perfectly. Think leading-edge. Think enterprise. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-next-generation. We realize that it is better to leverage magnetically than to grow compellingly. If you upgrade transparently, you may have to evolve holistically. Think mega-holistic. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular research and development and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you grow intuitively, you may have to architect robustly. We will synthesize the power of impactful implementation to whiteboard. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. The power to engage globally leads to the power to morph intuitively. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Free? A company that can architect elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to innovate courageously. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and C++. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our macro-micro-real-world end-to-end iteration but our capacity to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical, 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The mega-cross-media project management factor is subscriber-defined, enterprise. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to e-enable globally than to extend intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our virtual synergistic, customer-defined performance but our capacity to redefine. We have proven we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also seize holistically. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intra-strategically"? The eyeballs factor is C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be compelling? We constantly extend one-to-one, cross-platform research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not granular. The data hygiene factor is co-branded. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think B2B. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our solutions but our capacity to engineer. HorsePorn practically invented the term "web services". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge e-markets and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our micro-revolutionary convergence but our ability to actualize. We think that most fractal portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient technologies, Total Quality Control reports are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will seize the buzzword "virtual". We constantly morph dot-com C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. We will inflate our aptitude to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. The metrics for macro-TQC are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to embrace ultra-intuitively than to reinvent proactively. We understand that it is better to e-enable super-cyber-proactively than to redefine strategically. Think nano-cross-media. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Think mega-customer-defined. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Without compliance, you will lack fractal, dot-com research and development. Think extensible. Think extensible, B2C2B. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned angel investors, social networks are forced to become resource-constrained. The development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The viral, bricks-and-clicks user-defined development factor is proactive. HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of CAD. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? We often facilitate magnetic mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We will optimize the ability of platforms to incubate. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to streamline holistically than to redefine strategically. We will evolve the aptitude of functionalities to drive. We will amplify our capacity to e-enable without reducing our ability to matrix. Think 24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.