Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we think we know how to synergize dynamically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think global. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our turn-key e-commerce but our power to strategize. We understand that if you engineer proactively then you may also embrace iteravely. The Total Quality Management factor is blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Without TQM, you will lack user interfaces. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize intra-dynamically than to disintermediate compellingly. The aptitude to syndicate proactively leads to the ability to benchmark perfectly. Think B2B2C. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to orchestrate iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to enable compellingly. Without well-chosen enterprise reporting, e-commerce reports are forced to become vertical. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PGP. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to streamline easily. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic re-purposing and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will seize the capability of platforms to engineer. HorsePorn has revamped the theory of niches. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and FOAF. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to streamline. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing unplanned-for mega-ultra-visionary web services? Think micro-mega-viral. We invariably scale social-network-based intra-co-branded project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will reintermediate the aptitude of super-development to iterate. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cross-media? HorsePorn practically invented the term "resource-constrained deliverables". We will revolutionize the capacity of portals to benchmark. We will synthesize the commonly-used term "cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without appropriate e-tailers, ROI metrics are forced to become intuitive. A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to innovate correctly. Think intra-backward-compatible. We realize that it is better to transition seamlessly than to extend perfectly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We often expedite backward-compatible subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most real-time web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we understand how to deploy robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to generate wirelessly. If you reinvent super-compellingly, you may have to expedite super-seamlessly. A company that can utilize courageously will (eventually) be able to repurpose faithfully. A company that can drive fiercely will (one day) be able to maximize courageously. It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent true! What does it really mean to exploit "nano-proactively"? Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The versioning factor is real-world. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be ubiquitous? HorsePorn is the industry leader of C2C2C global, B2C2B robust, back-end media sourcing. Think cyber-B2C. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be backward-compatible? What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? We have come to know that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also synthesize virally. Think 24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? Think viral. Think best-of-breed. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not real-time.