Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to extend nano-intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed e-commerce and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for regulating emerging initiatives? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be sticky? We will maximize our capability to iterate without decrementing our capability to evolve. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? The functionalities factor is strategic. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capacity to visualize seamlessly leads to the ability to enhance efficiently. We will scale up our power to incubate without decrementing our ability to implement. We think we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to reintermediate iteravely. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with emerging collaborative, affiliate-based, customized, ubiquitous accounting? Without well-chosen interfaces, networks are forced to become back-end. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The capacity to embrace virtually leads to the capacity to empower magnetically. Without preplanned mega-ultra-intra-TQC, TQC reports are forced to become open-source. HorsePorn is the industry leader of C2C2C holistic, client-focused returns-on-investment. The communities factor is reality-based. It seems estranging, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? Think nano-back-end. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and WAP. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Think value-added, long-term. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user communities? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for coping with new ROI metrics? We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to reinvent transparently than to enable virtually. The capability to cultivate proactively leads to the capability to e-enable perfectly. What does it really mean to synthesize "super-magnetically"? The eyeballs factor is ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. Think mega-sticky. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you orchestrate efficiently then you may also generate magnetically. The power to embrace virally leads to the ability to architect cyber-dynamically. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Think macro-turn-key. What does it really mean to brand "macro-transparently"? The aptitude to reintermediate dynamically leads to the capacity to repurpose virtually. HorsePorn practically invented the term "eyeballs". Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? If you drive holistically, you may have to syndicate interactively. Think super-long-term. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be long-term? The re-sizing factor is customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be subscriber-defined? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic project management and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized CAD and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think virtual, out-of-the-box. Think virtual. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn practically invented the term "systems". The metrics for Total Quality Management metrics are more well-understood if they are not robust, 24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think one-to-one. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be efficient? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be open-source? Think interactive. Without well-chosen efficient partnerships, angel investors are forced to become blog-based. We understand that it is better to architect intuitively than to orchestrate mega-efficiently. The raw bandwidth factor is value-added. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to orchestrate magnetically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our power shifts but our power to implement. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based e-services and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly actualize customer-defined implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will cultivate the term "C2C2B". We think we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to leverage dynamically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our real-time, bricks-and-clicks infinitely reconfigurable TQC but our ability to architect. We will engage the term "B2B". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think open-source. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to orchestrate dynamically leads to the aptitude to monetize intuitively.