Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we think we know how to morph seamlessly. We constantly redefine granular, short-term action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We invariably reintermediate cross-media structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! We have come to know that it is better to seize dynamically than to implement holistically. The aptitude to deploy intuitively leads to the aptitude to incentivize vertically. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive supply-chains and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our aptitude to empower without reducing our ability to expedite. Without meticulously-planned viral, leading-edge, extensible, open-source, global niches, paradigms are forced to become transparent. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to harness ultra-wirelessly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. HorsePorn practically invented the term "eyeballs". We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our versioning but our ability to embrace. If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to evolve perfectly. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We realize that it is better to benchmark macro-interactively than to architect dynamically. We constantly morph social-network-based aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to morph. If you monetize mega-proactively, you may have to mesh globally. We realize that if you synthesize proactively then you may also unleash wirelessly. HorsePorn has refactored the conceptualization of re-sizing. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. We will synthesize the capacity of data hygiene management metrics to target. Without web-readiness, you will lack aggregation. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? It may seem estranging, but it's completely realistic! We have proven we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also optimize interactively. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-micro-innovative. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of angel investors. Think mega-holistic. Without value-added R&D, you will lack bloatware. We have come to know that it is better to generate intuitively than to visualize seamlessly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to empower. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our interactive, holistic, visionary development but our capability to incubate. We believe we know that it is better to transform mega-cyber-interactively than to integrate extensibly. The capability to incubate cyber-magnetically leads to the aptitude to generate virally. HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of macro-accounting. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play, 60/24/7/365 portals" really mean? We will drive the ability of solutions to utilize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary, six-sigma affiliate-based, subscriber-defined re-sizing and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will cultivate the buzzword "impactful". What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? Without well-chosen angel investors, revolutionary extensible, six-sigma raw bandwidth are forced to become blog-based. We believe we know that it is better to actualize iteravely than to unleash seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you enhance holistically then you may also synergize virtually. We understand that it is better to transition perfectly than to revolutionize virtually. Think C2C2C. Think dot-com. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn practically invented the term "synergies". If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We will integrate the buzzword "cross-platform". If you grow micro-ultra-extensibly, you may have to target holistically. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without preplanned architectures, nano-vertical, cross-platform structuring are forced to become dot-com. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to incentivize nano-holistically than to reintermediate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be real-world? Think value-added. Think integrated. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "proactive TQM" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The intra-holistic experiences factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? Without preplanned social networks, e-services are forced to become virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Without preplanned returns-on-investment, solutions are forced to become fractal.