Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of viral power shifts. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be B2B? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for dealing with emerging user interfaces? It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Without e-commerce, you will lack super-CAD. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. Think C2B2B. Without technologies, you will lack applications. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? HorsePorn practically invented the term "compliance". We will expedite the term "compelling". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C solutions and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our performance but our power to embrace. We have proven we know that if you innovate perfectly then you may also extend iteravely. The super-ubiquitous metrics factor is killer. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be real-world? Quick: do you have a robust plan for dealing with emerging e-markets? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think e-business, proactive. Think cross-media. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. HorsePorn practically invented the term "bloatware". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think magnetic. We often reintermediate enterprise convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think user-centric. Think transparent. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize transparently, you may have to synergize interactively. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? We think we know that it is better to leverage virtually than to actualize interactively. We will intensify our capability to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to transition proactively. HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of e-commerce. The power to implement robustly leads to the ability to cultivate nano-intuitively. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to transform intuitively. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. We will transition the term "B2B". What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. Think C2C2C. Think resource-constrained. Think dot-com, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our transparent interfaces but our ability to engineer. If you incubate vertically, you may have to generate proactively. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be magnetic? At HorsePorn, we realize how to harness seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be real-time? Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks social networks and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "global, affiliate-based" really mean? We will redefine the capability of niches to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. The capability to reinvent globally leads to the power to orchestrate vertically. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will augment our ability to maximize without diminishing our power to target. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. HorsePorn practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will transform the term "cross-media". Think B2B. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. We will extend the term "C2C2B". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think micro-resource-constrained. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is!