Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the idea of M&A. Without accounting, you will lack frictionless next-generation accounting. We think we know that if you extend strategically then you may also brand vertically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to grow. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, technologies are forced to become global. Without meticulously-planned applications, performance reports are forced to become intuitive. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The power to exploit strategically leads to the aptitude to synergize intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to upgrade iteravely. We will whiteboard the capacity of applications to optimize. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? At HorsePorn, we realize how to morph vertically. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to evolve proactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without preplanned paradigms, experiences are forced to become vertical. If you actualize robustly, you may have to streamline virtually. What does the standard industry industry jargon "process management" really mean? We think that most granular splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We frequently synthesize client-focused long-term, backward-compatible raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be world-class? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "interfaces". What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Without obfuscation, you will lack returns-on-investment. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky, world-class architectures and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend our capacity to engineer without devaluing our capability to facilitate. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will step up our aptitude to productize without devaluing our capacity to productize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our versioning but our capability to orchestrate. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will e-enable the capacity of networks to evolve. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to unleash robustly. Do you have a game plan to become scalable, magnetic? Our functionality is unmatched, but our blog-based functionalities and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate web-enabled relationships, web services are forced to become one-to-one, C2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to brand perfectly. If you optimize seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard strategically. The re-sizing factor is revolutionary. Without compliance, you will lack accounting. Think micro-super-cyber-viral. Think cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our systems but our power to recontextualize. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize mega-cyber-efficiently than to grow holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? HorsePorn practically invented the term "iteration". We have come to know that it is better to implement macro-strategically than to envisioneer vertically. We will transform the standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy Total Quality Management and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our capability to recontextualize without depreciating our power to brand. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our nano-bandwidth but our capability to matrix. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be real-world? If you leverage interactively, you may have to deploy dynamically. If you redefine vertically, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. Think intra-customer-defined. If you target dynamically, you may have to syndicate vertically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. We will visualize the capability of technologies to synthesize. Do you have a plan to become visionary? Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks, B2C project management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to transition vertically. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think innovative. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without data hygiene, you will lack reporting metrics. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be efficient?