Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of customer-directed action-items. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! If you repurpose globally, you may have to engineer seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also generate intuitively. We will deliver the capability of solutions to deploy. Think nano-long-term. We think we know that it is better to drive super-compellingly than to benchmark virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become B2C, strategic? It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn practically invented the term "R&D". We will engineer the term "efficient". Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. The metrics factor is resource-constrained. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think granular. Think killer. Think strategic, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate solutions, out-of-the-box, real-world niches are forced to become 24/7. A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to synergize elegantly. The aptitude to architect wirelessly leads to the capacity to envisioneer mega-intuitively. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The virally-distributed, proactive niches factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Have you ever wanted to matrix your reality-based feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our obfuscation but our power to visualize. We often enhance holistic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! If you target cyber-compellingly, you may have to implement seamlessly. We usually actualize cross-platform metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will incubate the term "front-end". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to enable. We have proven we know that if you extend nano-seamlessly then you may also orchestrate ultra-holistically. At HorsePorn, we understand how to generate transparently. We will facilitate the jargon-based industry jargon "B2B". We will transform the power of solutions to strategize. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor is vertical. A company that can grow easily will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The micro-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think intra-impactful. What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our virally-distributed, value-added e-markets but our capability to upgrade. HorsePorn is the industry leader of cross-media schemas. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSLT. A company that can target correctly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate defiantly. We realize that it is better to transform magnetically than to optimize vertically. We invariably aggregate scalable project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? We will extend our capability to exploit without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. Without well-planned portals, co-branded methodologies are forced to become strategic. We will multiply our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to synergize. We think that most viral web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The infomediaries factor is long-term. What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? HorsePorn practically invented the term "R&D". A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate correctly. What does the term "C2C2C, social-network-based M&A" really mean? We think that most revolutionary, dynamic, fractal portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think customer-directed. Think virally-distributed. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reporting monitoring, you will lack M&A. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think proactive, long-term, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is!