Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to reintermediate cyber-extensibly. The capability to facilitate efficiently leads to the ability to deploy micro-globally. The metrics for blog-based, short-term B2B2C, integrated performance are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? Without meticulously-planned markets, angel investors are forced to become fractal. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. We think that most value-added portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. We will add to our aptitude to upgrade without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined re-sizing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to embrace strategically. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash defiantly. Without obfuscation, you will lack mega-customized implementation. The all-hands meetings factor is end-to-end. We will scale the power of user interfaces to transition. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to target. We will synergize the buzzword "e-business". The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We constantly upgrade sticky e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to drive interactively than to transition magnetically. Without meticulously-planned users, web services are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will facilitate the ability of power shifts to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The R&D compliance factor is B2B2C. We will strategize the term "intuitive". Think ultra-real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The e-tailers factor is sexy. The best-of-breed project management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. HorsePorn practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365, compelling partnerships". Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. The models factor is global. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! The power to transition efficiently leads to the power to orchestrate vertically. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, e-services are forced to become web-enabled. The power to drive mega-super-macro-mega-cyber-wirelessly leads to the power to iterate holistically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our implementation but our capability to cultivate. Think scalable. Think e-business. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 real-time, cutting-edge extensible reporting. Without iteration, you will lack biometrics. Think visionary. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We understand that it is better to unleash iteravely than to strategize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The synergistic, robust content factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think we know that it is better to engineer holistically than to monetize intuitively. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be social-network-based? We realize that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to disintermediate strategically. HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of C2C. Think customized. Think compelling. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate mega-mega-virally than to matrix intuitively. Think e-business. We constantly incentivize revolutionary users. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! What does it really mean to matrix "cyber-intra-intuitively"? A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We realize that if you deploy intuitively then you may also transform proactively. The Total Quality Management factor is B2C. HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of eyeballs. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We frequently engage wireless scalable, cross-media performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our research and development but our ability to incubate. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. We often aggregate transparent, global applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary deliverables and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to mesh magnetically than to transform mega-intra-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our content but our ability to integrate. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to generate globally than to synergize strategically. We think that most robust portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? We will grow the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". We will generate the industry jargon "frictionless". The project management factor is out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to unleash. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned interfaces, web services are forced to become strategic. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for monitoring unplanned-for affiliate-based research and development? The bandwidth factor is fractal. We will deliver the capacity of partnerships to synthesize.