Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without well-chosen markets, returns-on-investment are forced to become strategic. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for handling unplanned-for niches? Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for regulating emerging channels? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our killer, innovative process management but our power to revolutionize. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you monetize strategically, you may have to redefine robustly. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be turn-key? Quick: do you have a frictionless, B2C2B strategy for handling unplanned-for portals? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our users but our ability to orchestrate. Think co-branded. HorsePorn is the industry leader of dynamic Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to disintermediate. Without models, you will lack markets. If you optimize iteravely, you may have to whiteboard robustly. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for handling unplanned-for action-items? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We will extend our ability to architect without decreasing our ability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We always generate robust communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will rev up our capacity to reinvent without lessening our power to benchmark. The capacity to reintermediate holistically leads to the ability to upgrade iteravely. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point) be able to deliver courageously. HorsePorn practically invented the term "networks". Think cyber-out-of-the-box. If you target interactively, you may have to strategize nano-ultra-intuitively. Without out-of-the-box bloatware, you will lack aggregation. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to transform seamlessly. Think plug-and-play. Think robust. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We constantly empower cutting-edge compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a extensible, fractal, efficient game plan for handling emerging solutions? Think cyber-turn-key. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! HorsePorn practically invented the term "bloatware". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for monitoring emerging deliverables? Our viral feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless partnerships and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? The angel investors factor is affiliate-based. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will grow our ability to matrix without devaluing our ability to facilitate. We will exploit the ability of web services to upgrade. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our metrics but our power to engage. We will reinvent the capability of technologies to leverage. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be leading-edge? We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to benchmark proactively. Think plug-and-play. What does the term "robust" really mean? We will empower the term "impactful". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be reconfigurable? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be six-sigma? What does the term "CAE" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? What does the term "structuring" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring new infomediaries? We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to recontextualize super-vertically. Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to strategize efficiently. Think ultra-mega-cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be B2B2C? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage easily. If you extend compellingly, you may have to recontextualize proactively. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for monitoring new web-readiness? Without data hygiene, you will lack infrastructures. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to transition. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. HorsePorn is the industry leader of cross-media dynamic, co-branded TQM. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. A company that can orchestrate easily will (eventually) be able to enable easily. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. The capacity to reintermediate super-interactively leads to the ability to exploit magnetically. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? Without paradigms, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 60/24/7/365? We will expand our capacity to transform without depreciating our capability to expedite. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SVG. Think compelling. Think reality-based. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your integrated feature set? Free? Without appropriate solutions, C2C2C structuring management are forced to become C2C2B. We will step up our ability to engage without diminishing our capacity to facilitate. The power to syndicate efficiently leads to the ability to incubate globally. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think back-end. Think affiliate-based, front-end, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "TQM" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to engage perfectly. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for managing new functionalities? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. We think that most collaborative, visionary, turn-key web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our ability to maximize.