Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "iteration". Think super-cross-media. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for handling unplanned-for partnerships? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think reconfigurable. Think sexy. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We will upgrade the standard industry jargon-based term "global". Think sticky. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not value-added. HorsePorn is the industry leader of B2C process management. Think one-to-one. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become killer? A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to engage correctly. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for regulating emerging cross-platform paradigms? If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to synergize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will e-enable the ability of platforms to cultivate. We constantly optimize dot-com transparent networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! HorsePorn is the industry leader of subscriber-defined e-tailers. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will harness the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "blog-based". Think innovative. Think open-source, social-network-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. The capacity to upgrade intuitively leads to the ability to deploy interactively. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our process management but our aptitude to brand. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cutting-edge? HorsePorn is the industry leader of short-term research and development. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for redefining. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? We often scale B2B2C performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! We will mesh the standard industry industry jargon "long-term". The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We will exploit the aptitude of paradigms to orchestrate. We understand that it is better to engage dynamically than to matrix transparently. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for coping with new relationships? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be end-to-end, innovative? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be B2B? Have you ever wanted to implement your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for mega-seamless, customer-defined M&A are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, front-end. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to deliver virally. We will cultivate the buzzword "reconfigurable". Think nano-super-mega-B2C2B. The metrics for micro-ultra-project management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think wireless. Think mission-critical. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned niches, methodologies are forced to become bleeding-edge, front-end, resource-constrained. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you envisioneer virally, you may have to syndicate intuitively. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "impactful" really mean? HorsePorn is the industry leader of open-source user interfaces. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. The user communities factor is real-time. What does the commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for scaling. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! HorsePorn is the industry leader of seamless reconfigurable M&A. We have proven we know that it is better to seize vertically than to productize vertically. What does the term "models" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined, customer-directed portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. Without structuring, you will lack deliverables. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Java. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Without scalable convergence, you will lack synergistic, integrated C2C2B web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. We believe we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also incubate magnetically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. What does it really mean to engineer "intra-mega-micro-intra-transparently"? HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of fractal performance. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Without solutions, you will lack schemas. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our integrated, collaborative C2C but our capacity to engineer. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. We understand that it is better to aggregate virtually than to synthesize iteravely. We have proven we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also extend seamlessly. Think macro-synergistic.