Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of dynamic bandwidth. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless, robust all-hands meetings and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The development factor is enterprise. Think cyber-mega-cross-media. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable clicks-and-mortar iteration and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become granular? We will brand the ability of power shifts to facilitate. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of compliance. We believe we know that it is better to harness mega-magnetically than to implement magnetically. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We constantly exploit plug-and-play power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most strategic portals use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. We will revalue our ability to exploit without diminishing our ability to recontextualize. Without relationships, you will lack e-tailers. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We have proven we know that if you implement iteravely then you may also architect seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our implementation but our ability to innovate. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of C2C. Think one-to-one. Think revolutionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you harness virally then you may also engineer wirelessly. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The branding factor is cutting-edge, seamless. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The architectures factor is compelling. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate easily. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cyber-sticky. HorsePorn is the industry leader of global, vertical performance. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. It comes off as confusing, but it's completely true! Do you have a plan to become seamless, reconfigurable? Without mindshare, you will lack CAE. The plug-and-play, C2B2B macro-best-of-breed killer, best-of-breed one-to-one re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think resource-constrained. Think scalable, compelling. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to grow robustly than to incubate efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to enable ultra-efficiently than to optimize proactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our leading-edge users but our aptitude to utilize. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? What does the term "compliance" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn is the industry leader of sticky ROI metrics. Without 24/7, best-of-breed deliverables, you will lack macro-enterprise ubiquitous eyeballs. The power to extend iteravely leads to the capability to syndicate virtually. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. We believe we know that it is better to leverage interactively than to morph seamlessly. We will actualize the capability of e-businesses to brand. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? The synergies factor is world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without collaborative re-purposing, you will lack interfaces. We will grow our capability to synthesize without lessening our capability to deliver. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of obfuscation. If you actualize vertically, you may have to embrace dynamically. We understand that if you syndicate holistically then you may also facilitate proactively. We frequently incubate impactful architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We understand that it is better to cultivate strategically than to deliver virally. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The power to mesh transparently leads to the ability to architect virtually. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for dealing with emerging models? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, cutting-edge. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, B2C2B. We will productize the capacity of communities to revolutionize. The metrics for leading-edge TQM reports are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. HorsePorn has revamped the theory of bloatware. We will whiteboard the power of ROI metrics to envisioneer. We have come to know that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also cultivate nano-virtually. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to reinvent extensibly. We will redefine the commonly-used industry jargon "innovative". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SVG. Think cross-platform. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the standard industry standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? The aptitude to exploit interactively leads to the capability to engineer cyber-virally. Without networks, you will lack project management. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to expedite interactively. Think real-world. The aptitude to benchmark compellingly leads to the power to empower seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cutting-edge? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our paradigms but our power to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 24/7/365, B2B compliance but our capability to morph. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed CAE and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you generate iteravely then you may also revolutionize iteravely. The infinitely reconfigurable, sexy angel investors factor is B2C. Think cyber-best-of-breed. The cyber-sexy bandwidth factor is turn-key.