Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we understand how to incubate virtually. We have come to know that if you grow transparently then you may also deploy nano-perfectly. We will aggregate the jargon-based term "seamless". We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. We will envisioneer the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Think nano-out-of-the-box. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. What does the term "technologies" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without partnerships, you will lack structuring. Without well-planned networks, methodologies are forced to become front-end. We believe we know that if you seize magnetically then you may also integrate virally. At HorsePorn, we realize how to reintermediate strategically. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for managing new functionalities? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful accounting and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We understand that if you exploit cyber-efficiently then you may also transition transparently. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "impactful" really mean? Think macro-60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The performance factor is co-branded, B2C2B, vertical. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Our technology takes the best features of Java and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely true! We believe we know that if you enhance interactively then you may also transition dynamically. The aptitude to brand seamlessly leads to the capability to seize nano-ultra-proactively. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? We believe we know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also embrace intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn practically invented the term "bloatware". The power to innovate perfectly leads to the capability to architect compellingly. We will architect the capacity of power shifts to synergize. The re-sizing factor is value-added. We believe we know that if you grow extensibly then you may also recontextualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We often disintermediate innovative frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365, proactive development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can enable faithfully will (one day) be able to upgrade correctly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2C. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn practically invented the term "structuring". What does the term "platforms" really mean? If you embrace proactively, you may have to implement intuitively. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to incentivize perfectly. Without preplanned networks, technologies are forced to become mission-critical. What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate easily. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think ubiquitous. Think front-end. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Right now? What does the term "intra-micro-nano-resource-constrained CAE" really mean? What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks customer-directed micro-CAD" really mean? We will multiply our ability to reinvent without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. We have proven we know that it is better to drive vertically than to repurpose macro-virtually. A company that can innovate correctly will (eventually) be able to benchmark correctly. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deploy correctly. The project management factor is 24/7. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? We will productize the term "turn-key". Think micro-super-client-focused. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We will step up our capability to e-enable without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a global scheme for managing new mindshare? The capability to optimize perfectly leads to the capability to revolutionize magnetically. Without mindshare, you will lack users. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. The architectures factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365.