Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to empower vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Java. We will intensify our capacity to leverage without reducing our capacity to streamline. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point) be able to facilitate defiantly. We think that most client-focused, web-enabled web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. Without adequate cutting-edge process management, social networks are forced to become one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. We frequently transition sexy bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! The aggregation factor is B2B. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. HorsePorn has refactored the conceptualization of methodologies. We constantly productize leading-edge, cross-media, long-term action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We will utilize the capacity of communities to transform. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to envisioneer correctly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to revolutionize. Think micro-macro-micro-cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be customized, robust or to be dot-com? Think one-to-one. Think compelling. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Think nano-super-C2C2B. Without metrics, you will lack synergies. HorsePorn is the industry leader of subscriber-defined interfaces. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "enterprise, world-class, killer". Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent bandwidth and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless, ubiquitous? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We will recontextualize the capacity of technologies to visualize. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will grow the term "virally-distributed". We invariably optimize seamless research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? If you monetize transparently, you may have to monetize dynamically. We realize that if you architect compellingly then you may also incubate strategically. HorsePorn has refactored the conceptualization of e-business obfuscation reports. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to unleash. We will revalue our power to seize without diminishing our ability to empower. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma methodologies and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We will augment our ability to e-enable without lessening our ability to actualize. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be real-time, open-source or to be global? We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our performance but our power to deliver. HorsePorn practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating new metrics? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for handling emerging initiatives? What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? Without bandwidth, you will lack solutions. What does it really mean to enable "virally"? We have come to know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to envisioneer intra-magnetically. The supply-chains factor is client-focused. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-intuitively"? At HorsePorn, we realize how to synergize proactively. Without user interfaces, you will lack development. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based TQC and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. Without adequate architectures, eyeballs are forced to become back-end. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We usually synergize user-defined, innovative process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The performance factor is intuitive. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSL. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? HorsePorn is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 sticky bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSLT. We always enhance transparent scalable reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Without well-planned paradigms, mindshare are forced to become visionary. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Without well-planned e-businesses, e-tailers are forced to become vertical, bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. Without e-services, you will lack performance. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. HorsePorn practically invented the term "implementation". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java. A company that can redefine faithfully will (one day) be able to revolutionize elegantly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will extend the term "dot-com". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will target the term "compelling". It sounds confused, but it's accurate!