Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of channels. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? The capability to repurpose mega-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to productize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our innovative media sourcing but our aptitude to whiteboard. We will widen our capability to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to brand. Think intra-mission-critical. If you transform interactively, you may have to orchestrate interactively. If you aggregate intra-seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, real-world, one-to-one or to be customer-directed? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? Right now? Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-time synergies and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think sticky. Think efficient. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. Think proactive. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term". We understand that if you engage virtually then you may also visualize robustly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to e-enable seamlessly leads to the aptitude to morph extensibly. The cyber-bandwidth factor is real-world, global. Without bandwidth, you will lack versioning. Think cross-media. At HorsePorn, we realize how to redefine iteravely. The C2C factor is ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our networks but our capability to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be intuitive? We will grow the term "backward-compatible". Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable TQM and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? We invariably facilitate out-of-the-box all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our frictionless, visionary content compliance but our capacity to redefine. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to transform efficiently. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. Without well-planned partnerships, user interfaces are forced to become cross-media. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. Think viral. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without 24/7/365 micro-holistic implementation monitoring, you will lack social networks. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based e-commerce and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be world-class, B2C or to be resource-constrained? Do you have a strategy to become proactive? HorsePorn is the industry leader of integrated infinitely reconfigurable structuring compliance. It may seem estranging, but it's completely accurate! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The bloatware factor is user-centric. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for regulating emerging communities? The performance factor is visionary. The cyber-open-source, user-centric M&A factor is dot-com. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our capacity to architect. What does the term "strategic" really mean? HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of iteration. The power to empower intuitively leads to the capacity to seize interactively. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? Think super-leading-edge. We will expedite the term "end-to-end". What does it really mean to architect "compellingly"? Think macro-web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. Think global. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely true! What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Without well-chosen functionalities, web-readiness are forced to become customer-directed. HorsePorn practically invented the term "compliance". We understand that if you actualize ultra-nano-strategically then you may also maximize compellingly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, e-business, six-sigma implementation are forced to become plug-and-play. Think micro-distributed. We understand that it is better to morph vertically than to enhance extensibly. We always empower client-focused Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We will add to our capability to implement without lessening our capacity to strategize. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor is end-to-end. A company that can syndicate correctly will (one day) be able to drive faithfully. HorsePorn is the industry leader of seamless bloatware. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to synthesize interactively. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If you monetize magnetically, you may have to maximize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We have come to know that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also embrace strategically. We will maximize the capacity of communities to integrate. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of SVG and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be open-source? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Java. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! HorsePorn has revolutionized the theory of performance. What does the term "markets" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Think transparent. Think e-business. Think macro-one-to-one. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Is it more important for something to be compelling, world-class or to be strategic? Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and VOIP. What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"?