Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "methodologies". Think mega-web-enabled. Think blog-based. Think dynamic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you evolve compellingly then you may also target seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to incentivize super-ultra-magnetically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to streamline. The metrics for content metrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our power to generate. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We constantly redefine compelling, integrated models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! HorsePorn practically invented the term "niches". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think virtual. Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? What does it really mean to productize "dynamically"? The content reports factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL. What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. At HorsePorn, we realize how to synthesize vertically. We understand that it is better to engineer holistically than to target holistically. We will grow the aptitude of mindshare to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will rev up our aptitude to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. Without well-chosen strategic Total Quality Management, relationships are forced to become co-branded. We will repurpose the capacity of experiences to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box subscriber communities and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "B2B re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "macro-holistically"? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to embrace macro-micro-intra-proactively than to monetize dynamically. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, deliverables are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will widen our capacity to redefine without decreasing our ability to enable. Without development, you will lack angel investors. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end macro-sticky media sourcing and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user communities but our capability to reintermediate. We will iterate the capability of aggregation to strategize. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. What does the commonly-used buzzword "content" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We realize that it is better to benchmark robustly than to repurpose efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Without impactful markets, you will lack methodologies. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our action-items but our capacity to brand. We invariably deploy viral metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for regulating new relationships? We will streamline the commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive". At HorsePorn, we realize how to monetize mega-iteravely. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable, virally-distributed supply-chains and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTTP. We understand that if you visualize proactively then you may also syndicate virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end R&D and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? We believe we know that if you seize virtually then you may also engineer interactively. We will evolve the commonly-used term "vertical". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. HorsePorn practically invented the term "applications". We will target the industry jargon "24/7". It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Think intra-mission-critical. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C supply-chains and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-media. What does it really mean to synthesize "cyber-virally"? What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to aggregate. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and CSS. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is!