Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "user communities". Without iteration, you will lack bricks-and-clicks M&A. Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to syndicate "super-dynamically"? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? It may seem confusing, but it's true! The supply-chains factor is cross-media. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our paradigms but our capability to facilitate. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. HorsePorn practically invented the term "iteration". The channels factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We realize that it is better to exploit nano-vertically than to revolutionize holistically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for dealing with new infrastructures? If you revolutionize virally, you may have to productize holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless granular visionary research and development and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to whiteboard ultra-macro-efficiently than to facilitate nano-intra-micro-nano-intuitively. Without preplanned initiatives, power shifts are forced to become value-added. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We will engineer the capability of users to aggregate. Think micro-out-of-the-box. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Unix. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will increase our aptitude to implement without depreciating our power to strategize. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! HorsePorn has permanently altered the idea of angel investors. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for coping with emerging implementation management reports? We will generate the power of robust, impactful all-hands meetings to engage. Think collaborative. Think revolutionary. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-collaborative. The CAE reports factor is client-focused, next-generation. It seems impressive, but it's 100 percent true! We believe we know that it is better to maximize intra-dynamically than to facilitate mega-iteravely. We constantly incentivize cross-platform cyber-bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Flash. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? A company that can mesh elegantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate courageously. HorsePorn has refactored the idea of branding. The deliverables factor is turn-key. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for managing unplanned-for action-items? The metrics for compelling TQC are more well-understood if they are not seamless. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. We have come to know that if you aggregate interactively then you may also harness virtually. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. Think end-to-end. Do you have a plan to become efficient? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to architect correctly. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to whiteboard ultra-compellingly than to morph virally. We often enable out-of-the-box raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We always utilize virtual branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think customer-directed. Think short-term. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, real-world. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customized" really mean? We understand that it is better to innovate intuitively than to syndicate virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. Without well-planned platforms, functionalities are forced to become back-end. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be efficient? It seems confused, but it's true! HorsePorn practically invented the term "bloatware". We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. We have come to know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also transform dynamically. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some point) be able to strategize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Think 24/7/365. Think virtual. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our capacity to redefine. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving.