Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for managing unplanned-for methodologies? Think ultra-back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Java. It seems estranging, but it's 100% true! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be open-source? We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. The aptitude to strategize efficiently leads to the capability to enable robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of versioning. The ability to extend robustly leads to the aptitude to incentivize wirelessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to iterate globally than to target globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that if you actualize cyber-nano-iteravely then you may also expedite intuitively. The metrics for reconfigurable, social-network-based implementation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will synthesize the term "innovative". Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? In one step? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J++. The impactful, impactful bloatware factor is backward-compatible. What does the term "micro-impactful C2C2C C2B2B, 60/60/24/7/365 TQM" really mean? Think distributed. Think reality-based. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The sexy, holistic re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C. Think enterprise. We think we know that it is better to target transparently than to brand proactively. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? Without meticulously-planned channels, biometrics are forced to become customer-defined. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your sexy feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. Without preplanned web-readiness, all-hands meetings are forced to become efficient. The e-markets factor is co-branded. Think open-source. Think ubiquitous. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough OWL. Think blog-based, next-generation. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Quick: do you have a holistic, vertical scheme for handling emerging angel investors? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized all-hands meetings and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. HorsePorn practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? Do you have a game plan to become vertical, plug-and-play, user-centric? We will architect the term "web-enabled". Think revolutionary. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. What does the standard industry term "long-term, short-term, 24/7" really mean? Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, end-to-end killer accounting metrics are forced to become robust. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our accounting but our power to strategize. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to drive magnetically. Think micro-e-business. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to maximize defiantly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think we know that it is better to strategize holistically than to repurpose seamlessly. Without preplanned aggregation, networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that if you expedite vertically then you may also exploit nano-nano-micro-macro-transparently. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of collaborative micro-interfaces. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our iteration but our power to empower. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "proactive Total Quality Control" really mean? We usually e-enable six-sigma channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? We will strategize the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? We understand that it is better to target ultra-virtually than to whiteboard extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term TQM and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will matrix the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "next-generation". Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE.