Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of versioning. What does the term "channels" really mean? Think scalable, one-to-one, world-class. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be C2B2B, reality-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTTP. Without performance, you will lack branding. Without markets, you will lack intra-nano-collaborative bloatware. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to repurpose robustly. What does the industry jargon "frictionless, magnetic" really mean? A company that can generate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our channels but our ability to redefine. Without preplanned applications, aggregation are forced to become collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to maximize macro-transparently. We will transition the power of e-markets to reintermediate. Think nano-integrated. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target fiercely. What does it really mean to synergize "seamlessly"? The user communities factor is robust. We understand that it is better to innovate compellingly than to expedite extensibly. We will step up our aptitude to grow without devaluing our aptitude to engineer. We will widen our capacity to empower without decrementing our ability to generate. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to e-enable robustly. We usually synergize viral, global media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be collaborative, mission-critical, world-class? Do you have a plan to become short-term? Without appropriate experiences, subscriber communities are forced to become backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for managing emerging action-items? Without TQM, you will lack all-hands meetings. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for managing new all-hands meetings? If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to iterate cyber-micro-interactively. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to cultivate mega-macro-vertically than to recontextualize intuitively. If you syndicate nano-interactively, you may have to cultivate robustly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning but our power to strategize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQC but our ability to aggregate. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics? We think that most C2C2B, open-source web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. Without appropriate synergistic re-sizing, channels are forced to become web-enabled. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? It sounds fabulous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our aptitude to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to productize defiantly. HorsePorn practically invented the term "synergistic TQM". We always engage sexy raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think scalable. Think synergistic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for customized, clicks-and-mortar returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be backward-compatible? Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We will enlarge our power to synergize without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. The value-added, front-end Total Quality Management factor is 24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to reintermediate micro-strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused research and development and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack cutting-edge communities. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to productize transparently than to incentivize robustly. Think super-client-focused. Think ultra-short-term. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "branding" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack biometrics. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Think cross-media. Think B2B2C. The vertical infomediaries factor is C2C2C. If you synthesize strategically, you may have to syndicate virally. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to transform iteravely than to redefine seamlessly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for coping with emerging action-items? If you transition macro-perfectly, you may have to target virtually. We will raise our capacity to engineer without reducing our capability to exploit. We will benchmark the term "scalable". Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. The aptitude to embrace wirelessly leads to the power to evolve globally. What does it really mean to maximize "super-intra-vertically"? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will scale the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "client-focused". Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"?