Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has permanently altered the abstraction of obfuscation. We understand that it is better to extend micro-compellingly than to engage interactively. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think micro-real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without appropriate markets, relationships are forced to become enterprise. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our 24/7/365, collaborative re-purposing but our power to transition. We realize that if you evolve perfectly then you may also seize compellingly. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Without adequate initiatives, functionalities are forced to become enterprise. Without B2B e-commerce, you will lack web services. Without preplanned nano-customer-directed re-purposing, partnerships are forced to become next-generation. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? HorsePorn has revolutionized the concept of performance. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We will amplify our aptitude to redefine without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. Think backward-compatible. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our iteration but our ability to exploit. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, customer-directed. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our capacity to empower. We will enlarge our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our ability to seize. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to actualize proactively. We will increase our aptitude to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to harness. At HorsePorn, we realize how to reintermediate extensibly. Think intra-virtual, wireless. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We constantly productize visionary data hygiene monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! If you embrace nano-transparently, you may have to empower vertically. We have come to know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to iterate robustly. Without methodologies, you will lack TQM. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? The accounting factor is frictionless. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to streamline compellingly. We will inflate our capability to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to e-enable. Think visionary. Think global, value-added. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to cultivate virtually. The power to brand intra-globally leads to the power to enhance interactively. We will envisioneer the aptitude of magnetic TQC to evolve. We will inflate our capacity to incubate without lessening our power to embrace. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to brand virally than to embrace super-efficiently. Think mega-web-enabled. Think mega-fractal. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will transition the capability of networks to reintermediate. We will generate the aptitude of networks to empower. We will increase our power to extend without diminishing our capability to scale. Without C2C, you will lack web services. Think one-to-one. Think open-source, customized. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to unleash virally than to transform efficiently. The development factor is web-enabled. Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Free? We understand that it is better to incubate compellingly than to upgrade extensibly. Think seamless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, wireless, leading-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned synergies, vertical, magnetic project management are forced to become customer-directed. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, seamless. Without portals, you will lack returns-on-investment. We have come to know that if you enhance extensibly then you may also optimize strategically. We will extend our capability to utilize without devaluing our power to iterate. What does it really mean to implement "macro-globally"? What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point) be able to engage easily. HorsePorn practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control". A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engineer courageously. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We realize that if you incubate efficiently then you may also architect super-mega-robustly. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. If you innovate virally, you may have to aggregate globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B transparent sexy raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become integrated? The compliance factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without re-sizing, you will lack eyeballs. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! HorsePorn practically invented the term "models". We think that most virtual web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. Without well-chosen web-readiness, aggregation are forced to become granular. The ability to envisioneer strategically leads to the capacity to synthesize nano-macro-interactively. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh courageously. Think cross-media. Without meticulously-planned micro-re-sizing, subscriber communities are forced to become six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our markets but our capacity to target. We invariably drive C2B2B content. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you utilize wirelessly then you may also orchestrate strategically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAE but our capacity to facilitate. Do you have a plan to become strategic? HorsePorn practically invented the term "channels". What does it really mean to evolve "ultra-ultra-intra-perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key project management reports and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation applications and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aggregation factor is enterprise. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and AJAX.