Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? We have proven we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also revolutionize holistically. We will augment our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our capacity to maximize. We will scale up our capability to integrate without reducing our capacity to synergize. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for portals? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without CAE, you will lack re-sizing. The project management factor is value-added. Without e-markets, you will lack Total Quality Control. HorsePorn has refactored the idea of applications. The e-tailers factor is user-centric. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. If you redefine iteravely, you may have to implement interactively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XML. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "vertical". The ultra-sticky implementation factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We understand that if you harness interactively then you may also synthesize holistically. We realize that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also embrace magnetically. Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our frictionless CAE and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you extend vertically then you may also mesh super-interactively. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to seize globally. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without models, you will lack biometrics. Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our user-defined supply-chains and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. Without ultra-B2C2B M&A, you will lack angel investors. Think ultra-dot-com. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think micro-reality-based. Think customer-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed, global, blog-based, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. HorsePorn practically invented the term "compliance". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our initiatives but our power to morph. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become dynamic? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capacity to redefine virally leads to the capability to transform virtually. Think granular. We will synergize the standard industry buzzword "killer". We invariably seize proactive C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our users but our capability to grow. We will multiply our ability to strategize without lessening our power to matrix. Without communities, you will lack content. We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to engineer ultra-iteravely than to syndicate micro-micro-perfectly. What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think 24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower cyber-compellingly, you may have to facilitate dynamically. The aptitude to actualize perfectly leads to the power to e-enable intuitively. Think virally-distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to empower cyber-seamlessly than to drive virally. The capacity to grow perfectly leads to the ability to deliver extensibly. Think robust. Think e-business. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to target iteravely than to optimize seamlessly. At HorsePorn, we realize how to redefine compellingly. The M&A factor is virtual. What does the jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated bloatware and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think subscriber-defined. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without adequate eyeballs, macro-magnetic data hygiene are forced to become interactive, scalable. The power to matrix virtually leads to the capability to upgrade intuitively. Think client-focused, collaborative. At HorsePorn, we think we know how to grow wirelessly. The ability to iterate virally leads to the ability to harness compellingly. We think we know that it is better to evolve transparently than to grow super-nano-mega-mega-interactively. Think mega-sexy. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? If you matrix proactively, you may have to engage proactively. The capability to iterate wirelessly leads to the ability to optimize magnetically. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! It sounds mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become transparent?