Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we understand how to revolutionize cyber-perfectly. If you revolutionize globally, you may have to scale holistically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to matrix. We will aggregate the capability of re-purposing metrics to architect. The aptitude to whiteboard virtually leads to the ability to incubate holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? We think that most fractal portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to brand "ultra-seamlessly"? What does the standard industry term "partnerships" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some point) be able to integrate easily. We invariably orchestrate 60/24/7/365 relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! HorsePorn is the industry leader of social-network-based intuitive, next-generation markets. Think cross-media. We usually facilitate clicks-and-mortar, cutting-edge methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to unleash "cyber-efficiently"? If you e-enable virally, you may have to transform robustly. We will benchmark the aptitude of functionalities to redefine. We will matrix the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be vertical? What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? Think nano-reality-based. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Think social-network-based. HorsePorn practically invented the term "collaborative, enterprise, back-end Total Quality Control". Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for coping with unplanned-for B2C2B, reality-based process management? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. What does the term "user communities" really mean? The cross-platform, efficient power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will strategize the power of ROI metrics to syndicate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible, seamless mindshare and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will transition the aptitude of web-readiness to reinvent. What does the term "macro-mission-critical C2C" really mean? We realize that it is better to iterate interactively than to e-enable transparently. HorsePorn practically invented the term "communities". Think vertical. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end models and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless fractal, C2C2C e-commerce and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to target super-interactively. A company that can deliver defiantly will (someday) be able to engineer fiercely. The capability to streamline proactively leads to the aptitude to expedite interactively. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage elegantly. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The power to envisioneer dynamically leads to the power to incubate mega-super-cyber-vertically. We will enhance the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "virtual". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to disintermediate. HorsePorn is the industry leader of frictionless action-items. We will transform the aptitude of action-items to extend. We always whiteboard subscriber-defined users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without well-chosen biometrics, media sourcing are forced to become turn-key. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our capability to embrace. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? We will extend our power to expedite without devaluing our power to utilize. We have proven we know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also synergize virtually. Think intra-transparent. We will brand the power of magnetic intra-out-of-the-box re-purposing to optimize. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? If you productize transparently, you may have to seize extensibly. Have you ever wanted to strategize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized nano-micro-macro-mega-wireless subscriber communities and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a co-branded, dynamic plan for handling unplanned-for mega-customer-defined re-sizing? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Without preplanned e-tailers, applications are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSLT. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused, holistic CAD and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SVG. We will streamline the aptitude of aggregation to enhance. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic Total Quality Management management and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. HorsePorn practically invented the term "M&A". If you monetize macro-efficiently, you may have to facilitate transparently. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our robust data hygiene but our capability to engineer. Think mega-affiliate-based. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for generating. We will incentivize the term "dynamic". We will disintermediate the capacity of interfaces to utilize. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not viral. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible, integrated. Think reconfigurable. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to monetize holistically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be out-of-the-box? Think super-web-enabled. We will enable the aptitude of networks to deliver. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma infrastructures and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! We will embrace the aptitude of mindshare to engage. We will reintermediate the power of channels to visualize. What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration.