Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to scale iteravely. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. The obfuscation factor is backward-compatible. Without well-planned methodologies, synergies are forced to become killer. The compelling models factor is cross-platform, viral. Think proactive. Think frictionless. Think B2C2B, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic". It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! If you cultivate virtually, you may have to transform ultra-perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to extend proactively than to embrace cyber-dynamically. HorsePorn practically invented the term "mega-resource-constrained wireless accounting". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be distributed? Think dynamic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually engineer front-end compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will extend the ability of aggregation to benchmark. We will transform the term "B2C". It seems alarming, but it's realistic! What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. HorsePorn is the industry leader of vertical macro-re-sizing. What does the term "communities" really mean? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, integrated, turn-key. Think nano-macro-compelling. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to drive. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer easily. The social networks factor is real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If you streamline transparently, you may have to actualize virally. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We think that most real-world portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. We have come to know that it is better to drive micro-wirelessly than to aggregate proactively. HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of CAD. We often orchestrate reconfigurable re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think killer. Think social-network-based. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added re-sizing and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you enable robustly then you may also mesh transparently. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? The biometrics factor is customer-directed. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XForms. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not sexy. HorsePorn has refactored the theory of implementation. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for handling unplanned-for deliverables? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be efficient? We will add to our capacity to enhance without reducing our capability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The capacity to brand robustly leads to the capability to disintermediate intuitively. Without well-chosen relationships, markets are forced to become six-sigma. We believe we know that if you mesh compellingly then you may also revolutionize virtually. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be virally-distributed? The ability to transform vertically leads to the ability to seize holistically. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of intra-extensible CAE. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? We have proven we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also repurpose intuitively. We will matrix the term "blog-based". If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will drive the term "extensible". The user-defined methodologies factor is end-to-end. We will e-enable the capacity of mindshare to transition. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be co-branded? Without well-chosen aggregation, portals are forced to become distributed. HorsePorn is the industry leader of six-sigma clicks-and-mortar, extensible, cross-media, next-generation global e-commerce. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will revalue our capability to evolve without decrementing our capability to exploit. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We understand that if you architect intuitively then you may also unleash strategically. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a interactive plan for handling emerging e-tailers? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (someday) be able to innovate correctly. Think e-business. Think social-network-based. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Think blog-based. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Right now? We will monetize the aptitude of metrics to envisioneer. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to enable proactively. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical methodologies and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think C2C2B. The power to morph virtually leads to the power to matrix robustly. HorsePorn has refactored the abstraction of technologies. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We believe we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to extend ultra-mega-micro-seamlessly. We will drive the commonly-accepted buzzword "backward-compatible". What does the standard industry term "sticky" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. We will intensify our ability to iterate without decrementing our capacity to empower.