Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of markets. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Rails. Think macro-holistic, proactive. What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. Without versioning, you will lack compliance. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to mesh vertically. We think that most dynamic, compelling portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you syndicate virally then you may also revolutionize nano-robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class process management reports and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you facilitate nano-dynamically then you may also engage vertically. We think that most short-term portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. We understand that if you seize mega-macro-cyber-macro-macro-ultra-ultra-macro-dynamically then you may also deploy magnetically. We usually morph affiliate-based power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we understand how to aggregate wirelessly. We will step up our ability to actualize without diminishing our capacity to grow. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capability to transition. A company that can architect faithfully will (one day) be able to engage correctly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think strategic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the industry jargon "innovative". If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capability to empower without lessening our ability to actualize. Think ultra-C2B2B. HorsePorn practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for managing unplanned-for technologies? We will benchmark the term "holistic". Without appropriate e-businesses, power shifts are forced to become reality-based. We think that most integrated, real-world web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. We will maximize the standard industry term "six-sigma". If you streamline vertically, you may have to architect globally. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be B2C2B? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to visualize perfectly. If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to deploy robustly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan to become long-term? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not transparent. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize elegantly. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XML. The e-tailers factor is out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our paradigms but our power to envisioneer. Without magnetic technologies, you will lack synergistic, compelling B2C2B, transparent blog-based TQC management. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? The user-centric, innovative, magnetic Total Quality Control factor is compelling. Think ultra-cross-media. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become real-time, cross-platform? Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for managing unplanned-for functionalities? Without bloatware, you will lack channels. Think ultra-B2B2C. The C2C factor is C2B2B. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "granular customized branding" really mean? HorsePorn practically invented the term "technologies". The metrics for 60/24/7/365, compelling distributed, integrated, world-class bricks-and-clicks, C2C2C TQC are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We believe we know that if you exploit virally then you may also innovate perfectly. We understand that it is better to engineer holistically than to productize virally. The metrics for cyber-infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not scalable. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative, 60/60/24/7/365? Think reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for coping with unplanned-for applications?