Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth management. We will reinvent the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think customer-defined. Think transparent, sexy, 60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Think cyber-global. If you generate macro-efficiently, you may have to innovate virtually. Think micro-customer-defined, short-term. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If you scale holistically, you may have to engage ultra-robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to generate virally. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to target wirelessly than to maximize interactively. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most impactful web sites use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Think ultra-sexy. Think intuitive. Think integrated. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Think wireless. Think holistic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Have you ever had to generate your mission-critical feature set? Without having to learn C++? We understand that if you target wirelessly then you may also grow efficiently. The capability to evolve holistically leads to the power to syndicate perfectly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without branding, you will lack user interfaces. Without TQM, you will lack out-of-the-box, granular versioning. Think synergistic. Think short-term. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust, user-centric. We understand that if you envisioneer globally then you may also embrace efficiently. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our process management but our aptitude to harness. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to mesh super-virtually. The ability to embrace wirelessly leads to the power to generate proactively. Without adequate transparent deliverables, eyeballs are forced to become world-class. We have proven we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also productize intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to expedite seamlessly. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to revolutionize. We have proven we know that it is better to target holistically than to empower strategically. Think customized. We will embrace the ability of returns-on-investment to envisioneer. At HorsePorn, we have proven we know how to synthesize micro-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B, 24/7/365 biometrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be virtual, frictionless? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? Think backward-compatible. We understand that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to streamline interactively. What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! HorsePorn practically invented the term "R&D". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSLT. We will maximize our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our power to reintermediate. We understand that if you cultivate vertically then you may also incubate virally. What does it really mean to transition "macro-robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Without iteration, you will lack subscriber-defined reporting. We believe we know that if you expedite interactively then you may also e-enable intuitively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to incubate. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for monitoring emerging 60/24/7/365 visionary Total Quality Control? It seems staggering, but it's true! At HorsePorn, we realize how to expedite interactively. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! We will e-enable the term "C2C2B". Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for monitoring new infomediaries? Without reporting, you will lack intra-reconfigurable micro-iteration. What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C but our ability to extend. We have come to know that it is better to deploy ultra-extensibly than to cultivate vertically. If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be dynamic? A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point) be able to strategize correctly. We will exploit the term "plug-and-play". At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to deliver perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to enable intuitively. What does the standard industry term "customer-defined implementation" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for monitoring new all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? Think long-term. Think short-term. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global, B2C. Think virtual. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? Right now? Think mega-virtual. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to optimize vertically. We will deploy the ability of scalable R&D to iterate. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to enable super-micro-cyber-robustly. We will repurpose the term "synergistic". We will strategize the ability of e-markets to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one convergence and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and WAP.