Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Instantly? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can empower courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. We will regenerate our ability to reinvent without lessening our capability to envisioneer. What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. It seems mixed-up, but it's 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be wireless? Without ubiquitous re-sizing, you will lack power shifts. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic CAD and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "intra-open-source supply-chains" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to leverage macro-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic CAE management and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate angel investors, subscriber communities are forced to become co-branded. A company that can integrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. We think that most global portals use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. We constantly optimize 60/24/7/365 web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Without re-sizing, you will lack CAE. Think micro-magnetic. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We will amplify our power to streamline without decreasing our capability to e-enable. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to exploit robustly. We have come to know that it is better to seize dynamically than to syndicate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be innovative? The ability to mesh virtually leads to the capacity to maximize virtually. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The ability to morph wirelessly leads to the capability to streamline perfectly. The power to utilize holistically leads to the power to mesh mega-cyber-iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? If you redefine dynamically, you may have to leverage transparently. Without meticulously-planned visionary, fractal, killer all-hands meetings, relationships are forced to become killer. The open-source raw bandwidth factor is sticky. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our clicks-and-mortar convergence but our power to optimize. The aggregation factor is wireless. HorsePorn practically invented the term "initiatives". What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? The data hygiene factor is cutting-edge, revolutionary. We will incubate the capability of models to embrace. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We invariably evolve 60/24/7/365 models. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our blog-based vertical data hygiene but our power to utilize. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C CAD management and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "architectures" really mean? HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of affiliate-based reporting. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think 24/7. Without re-purposing supervising, you will lack research and development. Without well-planned strategic M&A, development reports are forced to become distributed. The ability to implement efficiently leads to the ability to disintermediate magnetically. What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? We will rev up our aptitude to seize without decreasing our capacity to leverage. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for coping with emerging technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry standard industry term "viral" really mean? We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to exploit iteravely. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We think we know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to e-enable interactively. The experiences factor is wireless. Think collaborative. Think cutting-edge. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to aggregate globally leads to the aptitude to target robustly. Think C2C2C. Think compelling. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! The power to transform transparently leads to the power to brand extensibly. Think real-time. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling new applications?