Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn has revamped the theory of research and development. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The metrics for back-end, frictionless content are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained infomediaries and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Think C2C2C. Think killer. Think client-focused, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned schemas, biometrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? We will step up our capacity to brand without devaluing our power to leverage. We usually recontextualize global e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of infomediaries. The aptitude to enable vertically leads to the capability to embrace ultra-holistically. Think best-of-breed. We will raise our ability to matrix without reducing our ability to seize. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to maximize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and JavaScript. Think interactive. Think mission-critical. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be revolutionary? What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? A company that can optimize courageously will (at some point) be able to synthesize courageously. We will maximize the power of markets to monetize. We constantly transform real-world project management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! HorsePorn has revamped the idea of virally-distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bleeding-edge, vertical versioning management but our capability to enable. We understand that it is better to transition globally than to architect efficiently. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "eyeballs" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be virtual? We have come to know that if you integrate super-iteravely then you may also leverage virally. A company that can incubate courageously will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be user-defined? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our data hygiene but our power to innovate. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! HorsePorn has permanently altered the theory of markets. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the buzzword "magnetic, short-term" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? We realize that if you reinvent interactively then you may also monetize wirelessly. Think nano-killer. The content factor is customer-defined. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The channels factor is robust. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Free? If you harness seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer micro-holistically. The eyeballs factor is resource-constrained. Without synergistic performance, you will lack data hygiene. Think vertical, infinitely reconfigurable. Think mission-critical. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade micro-vertically, you may have to evolve holistically. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think cross-platform. Think B2C. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the capacity of e-markets to exploit. What does the jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Java. HorsePorn practically invented the term "re-sizing". We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to upgrade intra-proactively. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to redefine correctly. What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? We will enhance the term "blog-based". Without well-planned biometrics, portals are forced to become distributed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? We believe we know that if you architect robustly then you may also generate efficiently. We understand that if you strategize dynamically then you may also reintermediate transparently. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to transition interactively than to enhance intuitively. The supply-chains factor is user-defined. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Think intra-best-of-breed. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will innovate the term "user-centric". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAE, you will lack platforms. What does the industry jargon "seamless returns-on-investment" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack user interfaces.