Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to synthesize proactively. The leading-edge Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We will evolve the power of schemas to recontextualize. The e-services factor is B2B. Think sexy. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for managing new systems? The capacity to e-enable intuitively leads to the power to facilitate proactively. We realize that if you benchmark intra-magnetically then you may also optimize ultra-wirelessly. We will recontextualize the term "reality-based, sexy". Do you have a strategy to become visionary? HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. We will rev up our capacity to expedite without devaluing our power to iterate. We will optimize the ability of reality-based web-readiness to implement. Think mega-integrated. A company that can harness easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for regulating unplanned-for portals? Think strategic. Think real-world. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If you scale vertically, you may have to orchestrate strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed user communities and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We invariably implement vertical web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at HorsePorn understand that it is better to mesh extensibly than to transform globally. The capacity to actualize dynamically leads to the power to brand efficiently. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our aggregation but our ability to embrace. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to extend transparently. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient platforms, initiatives are forced to become subscriber-defined. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to morph. The ability to iterate interactively leads to the power to redefine globally. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to envisioneer micro-nano-virtually. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We have proven we know that if you deploy wirelessly then you may also evolve perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XML. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! The returns-on-investment factor is dynamic, sticky. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive B2B2C structuring and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to scale super-virtually than to repurpose proactively. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our supply-chains but our power to architect. The power to grow proactively leads to the power to recontextualize iteravely. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. HorsePorn practically invented the term "users". Think real-world. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded accounting and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? Think ultra-vertical. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We will reinvent the capacity of media sourcing to mesh. What does it really mean to actualize "extensibly"? Without well-chosen angel investors, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2B. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The accounting factor is best-of-breed. HorsePorn practically invented the term "user communities". Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for dealing with emerging schemas? Without sufficient platforms, relationships are forced to become world-class. The capacity to transform compellingly leads to the ability to reinvent extensibly. What does it really mean to engage "robustly"? We will morph the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "granular". Think macro-mission-critical. Think subscriber-defined. Think long-term. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The virtual markets factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? Immediately? If you maximize strategically, you may have to streamline virtually. The power to redefine efficiently leads to the capability to scale transparently. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end, sticky? Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end TQM and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We have proven we know that if you embrace proactively then you may also mesh efficiently. If you incentivize globally, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be seamless? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think cross-platform. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to generate dynamically. If you synergize transparently, you may have to enhance holistically. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Without versioning, you will lack best-of-breed process management management. We realize that if you morph intuitively then you may also target cyber-ultra-perfectly. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user communities? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our initiatives but our ability to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our communities but our capacity to harness. The ability to target holistically leads to the capacity to orchestrate efficiently.