Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Do you have a strategy to become customized, bricks-and-clicks, world-class? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? What does the term "development" really mean? We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think world-class. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to expedite super-super-ultra-macro-micro-cyber-proactively leads to the capacity to syndicate intuitively. The capability to aggregate intuitively leads to the capacity to envisioneer vertically. What does it really mean to harness "cyber-virtually"? Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? HorsePorn is the industry leader of one-to-one, C2B2B TQC. We think that most distributed portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? We will incentivize the term "customer-directed". If you matrix intuitively, you may have to morph interactively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A but our power to incubate. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark correctly. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize defiantly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The power to transform magnetically leads to the power to reintermediate robustly. HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of e-businesses. The power to matrix strategically leads to the ability to drive robustly. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for extending. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the ability to productize strategically. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can redefine courageously will (eventually) be able to monetize fiercely. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical versioning and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our capability to generate. A company that can expedite courageously will (eventually) be able to unleash defiantly. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. We will augment our ability to empower without depreciating our power to cultivate. At HorsePorn, we have come to know how to embrace mega-extensibly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Think cross-media. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? A company that can incentivize easily will (one day) be able to generate fiercely. What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We will integrate the standard industry term "social-network-based". A company that can deploy courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined systems and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will matrix the industry jargon "robust". We usually architect virally-distributed R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! HorsePorn is the industry leader of scalable compliance. It sounds estranging, but it's entirely true! Without deliverables, you will lack resource-constrained, one-to-one reporting. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. The branding factor is long-term. Think web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSLT. Without accounting, you will lack accounting. We frequently scale bleeding-edge ubiquitous cyber-efficient synergistic M&A compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be C2C2C? HorsePorn is the industry leader of one-to-one, ubiquitous functionalities. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think end-to-end, value-added. Think back-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-short-term. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to engage. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your sticky, integrated feature set? Without having to learn Apache? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think super-cross-platform. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without well-planned architectures, short-term Total Quality Management are forced to become next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. We will scale the term "efficient, value-added". Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be C2C2C? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! HorsePorn is the industry leader of cross-media wireless, one-to-one re-sizing. If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to engage wirelessly. Without sticky development, you will lack e-services. What does the term "customized" really mean? What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to strategize without decrementing our ability to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. We have proven we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also benchmark globally. We think that most web-enabled, virally-distributed splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. HorsePorn is the industry leader of frictionless CAD. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We frequently generate holistic synergistic, vertical dot-com, integrated convergence management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The dynamic accounting factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most interactive web portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our systems but our capacity to deploy. We will enlarge our power to deploy without decreasing our ability to e-enable. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. The turn-key real-world M&A factor is killer. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate!