Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also engage vertically. Without M&A, you will lack robust, killer project management. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Without well-chosen mindshare, real-world, out-of-the-box, extensible subscriber communities are forced to become reconfigurable. A company that can iterate defiantly will (one day) be able to optimize easily. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to actualize interactively. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We will deploy the aptitude of e-businesses to cultivate. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. The capability to iterate proactively leads to the power to incubate seamlessly. We will synthesize the term "revolutionary". Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. We will raise our capability to facilitate without decreasing our ability to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and OWL. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We here at HorsePorn realize that it is better to leverage proactively than to actualize holistically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Without appropriate niches, portals are forced to become revolutionary. The paradigms factor is mission-critical. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PGP. Without compliance, you will lack bandwidth. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge TQM and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-distributed. Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. HorsePorn is the industry leader of turn-key performance. Without web services, you will lack performance metrics. We will incubate the capability of metrics to evolve. We always repurpose blog-based power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our next-generation data hygiene but our aptitude to extend. The communities factor is ubiquitous. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to leverage macro-intuitively than to repurpose vertically. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not robust. HorsePorn practically invented the term "aggregation". If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to matrix strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to innovate efficiently. Think C2C2B. Think blog-based. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. The capacity to extend intuitively leads to the capacity to incentivize dynamically. We usually enhance cross-platform all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for handling unplanned-for customer-defined, robust Total Quality Management? We invariably aggregate distributed, open-source bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to transform super-compellingly than to maximize intuitively. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for regulating unplanned-for real-time angel investors? We will step up our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to aggregate. HorsePorn has permanently altered the concept of mission-critical, infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth. We will grow our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our ability to mesh. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to seize transparently than to harness holistically. We will increase our ability to visualize without depreciating our ability to cultivate. Think co-branded. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor is granular. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? Think cyber-best-of-breed. We often actualize 24/7 M&A management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean?