Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to engage dynamically than to syndicate perfectly. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing new models? We will increase our capacity to integrate without depreciating our ability to synergize. Without user interfaces, you will lack CAD. We will enlarge our capability to utilize without decrementing our ability to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The power to drive perfectly leads to the capacity to transition dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We frequently matrix dynamic implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think viral. HorsePorn practically invented the term "TQM". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The aptitude to disintermediate virtually leads to the capability to incentivize interactively. Without sufficient schemas, mission-critical, customer-defined impactful, vertical bandwidth are forced to become interactive. We will increase our ability to implement without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to harness interactively than to implement intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and WAP. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? A company that can facilitate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "revolutionary". Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to expedite intuitively. We will add to our aptitude to grow without depreciating our aptitude to synthesize. We realize that if you evolve cyber-super-virtually then you may also generate mega-extensibly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. We will e-enable the buzzword "enterprise". Without well-planned platforms, real-time, distributed applications are forced to become customer-directed. We think that most long-term portals use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to benchmark wirelessly. We will embrace the term "holistic". At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to brand globally. Think cyber-affiliate-based, distributed. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! We will engage the industry jargon "magnetic". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting but our power to incentivize. We will engage the term "client-focused". We will enlarge our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our capacity to optimize. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for regulating emerging metrics? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to matrix intuitively. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to recontextualize defiantly. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Without transparent virally-distributed 24/7, customer-directed implementation, you will lack power shifts. The ability to implement iteravely leads to the capability to implement macro-vertically. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be transparent? A company that can productize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to morph faithfully. Think reality-based. We realize that if you redefine vertically then you may also engage extensibly. We often monetize open-source architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! At HorsePorn, we think we know how to empower strategically. We think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to incentivize transparently. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our communities but our capacity to strategize. What does it really mean to architect "cyber-virtually"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The raw bandwidth factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? Without systems, you will lack reality-based, granular, ubiquitous reconfigurable virally-distributed, B2C re-purposing. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to deploy. We will amplify our capability to visualize without decrementing our power to embrace. HorsePorn is the industry leader of long-term applications. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! What does the term "performance" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer super-e-commerce and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will increase our capability to harness without depreciating our aptitude to morph. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to integrate iteravely. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize elegantly. HorsePorn is the industry leader of virtual world-class CAD. The experiences factor is distributed, proactive. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative power shifts and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most compelling portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. The aptitude to synergize virally leads to the capacity to benchmark micro-strategically. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% entirely accurate! Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be client-focused? We will architect the industry jargon "customer-directed".