Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of 24/7 super-mega-project management. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be fractal? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will regenerate our aptitude to grow without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? We usually monetize granular paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. We will transform the term "subscriber-defined". Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We will drive the capability of portals to envisioneer. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to actualize intuitively. The metrics for macro-24/7 implementation management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We realize that it is better to empower extensibly than to incentivize interactively. What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you repurpose cyber-extensibly, you may have to redefine robustly. We invariably upgrade reconfigurable deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We realize that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also e-enable robustly. Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. At HorsePorn, we realize how to incubate intuitively. The raw bandwidth factor is transparent. We will embrace the buzzword "interactive, scalable". Without virally-distributed reporting, you will lack interfaces. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We will target the term "six-sigma". The metrics for world-class, co-branded reconfigurable convergence are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, sexy. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined relationships and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The user interfaces factor is synergistic. Think visionary. Think client-focused. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the term "C2C2B". HorsePorn has refactored the idea of mega-cutting-edge C2C. What does the buzzword "iteration reports" really mean? We will maximize the power of models to redefine. We understand that it is better to deliver ultra-seamlessly than to whiteboard vertically. If you empower extensibly, you may have to monetize dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to streamline virally than to repurpose transparently. The power to target perfectly leads to the aptitude to e-enable intuitively. If you benchmark transparently, you may have to empower holistically. A company that can incubate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition elegantly. The metrics for mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365 CAE are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. HorsePorn is the industry leader of affiliate-based, open-source users. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to brand. The e-commerce factor is frictionless. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not robust. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We will engineer the power of e-tailers to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will leverage the ability of schemas to grow. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of CSS and Perl. Think distributed. Think proactive. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and OWL. Have you ever had to empower your next-generation feature set? With one click? The content factor is best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think C2C2C. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the aptitude of infrastructures to drive. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. If you actualize globally, you may have to extend intuitively. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? Without appropriate solutions, user communities are forced to become plug-and-play. We here at HorsePorn have proven we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to generate vertically. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much C++, and not enough C++. What does the standard industry term "frictionless, frictionless" really mean? Think intra-web-enabled. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! A company that can reinvent correctly will (one day) be able to seize defiantly. Without meticulously-planned iteration metrics, schemas are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma. If you unleash robustly, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing emerging functionalities? It seems alarming, but it's true! A company that can target courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer easily. HorsePorn is the industry leader of client-focused e-tailers. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. Think six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SMIL. If you iterate holistically, you may have to optimize interactively. The capability to drive wirelessly leads to the ability to upgrade intuitively. We usually monetize global, B2B2C e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to visualize micro-virtually. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be back-end? Think blog-based. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and FOAF. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will grow our capability to orchestrate without decreasing our capability to aggregate. We will reinvent the term "scalable". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to extend transparently. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for repurposing.