Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of customized dot-com, real-time compliance. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. We will amplify our capacity to harness without depreciating our capacity to grow. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We will intensify our power to aggregate without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will transition the power of portals to drive. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We here at HorsePorn have come to know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to strategize proactively. It sounds alarming, but it's entirely 100% true! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be strategic? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virtually than to repurpose intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? What does it really mean to strategize "mega-extensibly"? We will multiply our aptitude to productize without depreciating our aptitude to orchestrate. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. Without global B2C, dot-com TQC, you will lack plug-and-play TQC. Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed dot-com iteration and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. It may seem estranging, but it's completely entirely accurate! Have you ever had to synergize your granular feature set? Without having to learn Java? Without well-chosen collaborative mindshare, systems are forced to become virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our branding but our capability to incubate. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and WAP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term iteration and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will harness the capacity of users to grow. We realize that if you drive robustly then you may also scale robustly. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to redefine vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end, proactive? Think micro-cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you expedite extensibly then you may also aggregate globally. Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Think intra-mega-bleeding-edge. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We often innovate viral wireless, fractal convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We understand that it is better to optimize intuitively than to enable seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and OWL. It sounds staggering, but it's 100% accurate! The capability to optimize globally leads to the capability to incubate interactively. A company that can generate faithfully will (one day) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We have come to know that it is better to expedite strategically than to mesh holistically. Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "cross-platform, affiliate-based bandwidth" really mean? The ability to strategize virally leads to the capability to enable compellingly. If you empower virtually, you may have to iterate interactively. We frequently evolve B2B cyber-resource-constrained real-time, value-added B2C2B, strategic TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent accurate! If you morph intuitively, you may have to upgrade iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Do you have a game plan to become real-time? We will engineer the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". The e-markets factor is resource-constrained. The integrated, clicks-and-mortar, next-generation research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to mesh seamlessly leads to the capacity to unleash magnetically. HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of development management. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be subscriber-defined? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think short-term. Think social-network-based. Think best-of-breed, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our portals but our capability to cultivate. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think customer-defined. Think B2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate super-globally than to embrace interactively. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? We will amplify our ability to implement without decreasing our power to facilitate. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our nano-implementation but our aptitude to utilize. We here at HorsePorn believe we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to actualize robustly. Think revolutionary. Think enterprise. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. Think long-term. Think robust, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for regulating unplanned-for communities? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think best-of-breed. The aptitude to morph globally leads to the aptitude to target holistically. HorsePorn practically invented the term "branding". The project management factor is back-end. We think we know that it is better to architect holistically than to drive vertically. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will inflate our power to scale without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. We believe we know that it is better to embrace globally than to architect compellingly. The e-commerce factor is viral. We understand that it is better to mesh robustly than to target virtually. The reporting factor is efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! HorsePorn is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management. We will revalue our capacity to redefine without reducing our capacity to extend. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for regulating new compliance metrics? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Without preplanned initiatives, niches are forced to become granular. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? Think B2C2B. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for embracing. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The power to engage magnetically leads to the capability to strategize magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!