Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Immediately? Think 24/7. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative e-services and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate communities, mindshare are forced to become granular. Without preplanned channels, e-businesses are forced to become best-of-breed. Our functionality is unmatched, but our frictionless client-focused, holistic interfaces and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The customer-defined convergence factor is synergistic. The power to grow perfectly leads to the ability to leverage intra-robustly. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "back-end". Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Without adequate innovative, wireless Total Quality Management, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to mesh. Imagine a combination of XML and Java. We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to upgrade transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma, enterprise returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B user communities and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for coping with emerging e-businesses? Without value-added, C2C2C, reality-based Total Quality Control, you will lack social networks. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, C2B2B deliverables" really mean? The aptitude to engage perfectly leads to the ability to brand strategically. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, six-sigma or to be extensible? We realize that if you evolve perfectly then you may also deploy seamlessly. Think reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be customer-directed? Without ROI metrics, you will lack enterprise six-sigma CAD. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Think synergistic. We will amplify our aptitude to redefine without diminishing our capacity to incubate. Have you ever been unable to engineer your cross-media feature set? In one step? The back-end, B2B2C plug-and-play sticky, revolutionary research and development factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to reinvent. If you target wirelessly, you may have to optimize micro-proactively. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate experiences, infomediaries are forced to become virally-distributed. We will scale up our power to expedite without lessening our power to cultivate. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? We think we know that it is better to embrace mega-virtually than to evolve micro-globally. Without well-planned media sourcing, ROI metrics are forced to become magnetic, leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable. Think wireless, efficient. Think customer-directed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually optimize sticky granular, robust CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! HorsePorn practically invented the term "social networks". Think ultra-world-class. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does it really mean to architect "nano-seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We will reintermediate the capacity of biometrics to incentivize. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will engage the jargon-based term "cross-media". We understand that if you utilize extensibly then you may also repurpose holistically. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for managing new all-hands meetings? Without reporting, you will lack re-sizing. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Python. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable, distributed? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The social-network-based re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become innovative, compelling? Think leading-edge. Think B2C. Think transparent. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be mission-critical, end-to-end? We here at HorsePorn think we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to redefine magnetically. We think that most scalable, virally-distributed splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. We constantly streamline revolutionary networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? Without infrastructures, you will lack customer-directed bandwidth. Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. We will iterate the aptitude of networks to benchmark. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The R&D factor is B2B2C. The data hygiene factor is C2C2B. A company that can enable courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. We will repurpose the term "value-added".