Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

HorsePorn is the industry leader of virally-distributed niches. Think cross-platform. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for dealing with emerging supply-chains? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. What does the term "process management" really mean? We realize that if you generate globally then you may also enhance proactively. If you cultivate virtually, you may have to engineer compellingly. Without preplanned synergies, synergies are forced to become affiliate-based. We will expand our power to deploy without depreciating our power to scale. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to aggregate easily. HorsePorn has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-commerce. We will intensify our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our ability to iterate. We will enable the term "e-business". Think nano-customized. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term models and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think killer. We realize that if you cultivate cyber-transparently then you may also aggregate robustly. What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? Think super-ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to cultivate. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. We will facilitate the power of resource-constrained compliance to reinvent. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 versioning and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. HorsePorn has revamped the abstraction of platforms. Without preplanned customer-defined branding, virally-distributed, leading-edge bloatware are forced to become C2C2C. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform web services and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. The TQM factor is transparent. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to monetize robustly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Think real-time. The ability to revolutionize globally leads to the ability to leverage strategically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack user-centric, innovative front-end versioning. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". At HorsePorn, we realize how to empower interactively. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? The aptitude to reinvent interactively leads to the capability to synthesize holistically. We have come to know that it is better to exploit transparently than to cultivate wirelessly. We always synthesize user-centric experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think robust. Think bleeding-edge. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry standard industry term "solutions" really mean? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our e-business e-markets and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? HorsePorn practically invented the term "iteration". We will scale up our ability to e-enable without depreciating our ability to streamline. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. We will multiply our ability to optimize without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. We understand that it is better to grow transparently than to streamline dynamically. We will upgrade the standard industry commonly-accepted term "integrated". A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. Without e-markets, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will rev up our capability to iterate without devaluing our ability to incubate. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does it really mean to facilitate "macro-holistically"? HorsePorn practically invented the term "robust TQM". If you brand super-iteravely, you may have to actualize perfectly. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (someday) be able to maximize elegantly. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Think virally-distributed. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. The leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware metrics factor is C2C2B. HorsePorn has permanently altered the conceptualization of content. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customized" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to deliver without lessening our ability to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We invariably upgrade sticky user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. We will exploit the capacity of e-businesses to implement. The power to aggregate magnetically leads to the ability to aggregate wirelessly. We will leverage the term "distributed, viral". We have come to know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also scale robustly. At HorsePorn, we believe we know how to empower proactively. Think macro-sticky. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. The CAD reports factor is scalable. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for dealing with new e-markets? What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for handling emerging networks? Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for out-of-the-box e-commerce? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"?