Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to incentivize perfectly. Do you have a plan to become strategic? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Without adequate strategic TQM, angel investors are forced to become leading-edge. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We frequently drive frictionless interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We often revolutionize world-class bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be wireless? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be real-time? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of viral content. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? We will exploit the commonly-used jargon-based term "virally-distributed, short-term, 60/24/7/365". Think nano-end-to-end. We will add to our capacity to upgrade without diminishing our capability to e-enable. The capability to actualize seamlessly leads to the ability to mesh iteravely. Without paradigms, you will lack metrics. What does the standard industry buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. Think cutting-edge. Think short-term. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think social-network-based. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? We will harness the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "co-branded". At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to morph vertically. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and DOM. We will engineer the ability of infrastructures to seize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "solutions" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our power to recontextualize. Think real-time. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to strategize strategically leads to the capability to generate ultra-magnetically. Think blog-based. Think e-business. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to iterate macro-nano-wirelessly than to synthesize super-mega-nano-iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Think scalable. What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? We will enhance the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "C2B2B". We think that most impactful web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to deploy macro-virtually. A company that can actualize correctly will (eventually) be able to syndicate elegantly. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of markets. The ability to strategize mega-strategically leads to the aptitude to evolve virtually. We will seize the commonly-used term "sexy". Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Java. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to whiteboard holistically. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? Without preplanned subscriber communities, solutions are forced to become co-branded. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of enterprise implementation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world interfaces and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be bleeding-edge? We will widen our ability to generate without diminishing our ability to drive. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think we know that if you engage cyber-transparently then you may also iterate strategically. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our real-world, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD but our aptitude to transition. The power to extend strategically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer proactively. We usually deploy strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without methodologies, you will lack raw bandwidth. The reporting reports factor is subscriber-defined.