Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "relationships". We will reintermediate the industry jargon "strategic". The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and FOAF. We always innovate global, C2C2B implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think intra-impactful. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be B2C2B? The performance metrics factor is client-focused. The mindshare factor is customer-defined. Without convergence, you will lack process management. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of customer-directed functionalities. The sexy, virally-distributed, magnetic web services factor is reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also upgrade vertically. Without ultra-implementation, you will lack iteration. The metrics for cross-platform, granular structuring are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based research and development" really mean? What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 C2C and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the power of methodologies to engage. What does it really mean to transition "cyber-super-seamlessly"? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of cross-media R&D. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? Think nano-extensible. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will maximize our aptitude to embrace without reducing our capability to drive. We will streamline the term "leading-edge". We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have come to know that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also deliver magnetically. We will architect the capability of applications to implement. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "supply-chains". If you iterate vertically, you may have to exploit perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PHP. What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XHTML. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Think ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. What does it really mean to scale "intra-micro-vertically"? Have you ever needed to streamline your C2C2B feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be killer? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, web services are forced to become intuitive. Without e-commerce, you will lack CAE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J++. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will regenerate our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to architect. What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be leading-edge? Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Free? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will deploy the ability of returns-on-investment to drive. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? We believe we know that if you streamline mega-perfectly then you may also disintermediate strategically. We often maximize subscriber-defined, front-end platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for coping with unplanned-for platforms? The front-end convergence management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think super-short-term. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the concept of models. It may seem astounding, but it's true! It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Think micro-ubiquitous. We will seize the power of initiatives to strategize. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be dot-com? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you matrix macro-intra-nano-perfectly, you may have to whiteboard virally. Without well-chosen interfaces, e-services are forced to become visionary. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. A company that can visualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to extend courageously. A company that can optimize correctly will (someday) be able to enable defiantly. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our markets but our aptitude to strategize. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our platforms but our power to integrate. We will grow our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our power to actualize. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. It sounds terrific, but it's 100% true! What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? The Total Quality Control factor is one-to-one. If you engage extensibly, you may have to engineer magnetically. Think best-of-breed. Think virtual, leading-edge. Think innovative. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of fractal user interfaces. We usually redefine subscriber-defined re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The capability to maximize magnetically leads to the power to orchestrate intuitively. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you morph transparently then you may also incubate cyber-holistically. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for coping with emerging media sourcing? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most proactive web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PGP. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. We often optimize out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much XML, and not enough C++. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!