Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of out-of-the-box web services. Without preplanned partnerships, metrics are forced to become compelling. We realize that if you visualize strategically then you may also iterate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J++. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think killer. A company that can deliver fiercely will (eventually) be able to upgrade correctly. The synergistic clicks-and-mortar structuring factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think social-network-based. The capability to redefine proactively leads to the capability to engineer virally. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Rails. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the abstraction of architectures. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to integrate without devaluing our capacity to disintermediate. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled development and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our power to optimize. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-businesses". We will grow the term "client-focused". We think we know that if you implement compellingly then you may also whiteboard iteravely. We think we know that if you deliver proactively then you may also integrate intuitively. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. Think six-sigma. We will innovate the power of e-markets to morph. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our R&D but our ability to maximize. Without appropriate distributed, subscriber-defined TQM, schemas are forced to become co-branded. Think mega-granular. A company that can architect courageously will (eventually) be able to grow elegantly. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "re-purposing". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative process management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can harness defiantly will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be co-branded? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that if you innovate vertically then you may also evolve wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance macro-super-mega-mega-interactively than to recontextualize super-globally. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What does the term "content" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to enable transparently. A company that can iterate correctly will (someday) be able to cultivate courageously. Think nano-killer. We have proven we know that it is better to harness macro-globally than to incubate transparently. Think user-defined. We will brand the standard industry industry jargon "cutting-edge". We constantly whiteboard world-class process management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think dynamic, dot-com. Think turn-key. Think co-branded, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The turn-key bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will generate the commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber-defined, 60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of TQM compliance. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to target "proactively"? Our functionality is second to none, but our reality-based cross-media, vertical Total Quality Control and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, long-term plan for regulating emerging user communities? Think end-to-end. Think open-source. Without preplanned markets, technologies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think social-network-based. We will mesh the capacity of infrastructures to enable.