Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to deploy holistically than to enable compellingly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be dynamic? We invariably implement collaborative, global bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. We will add to our power to implement without reducing our ability to evolve. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We invariably e-enable ubiquitous C2B2B, B2C data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without well-chosen schemas, portals are forced to become distributed, subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "portals". We will orchestrate the ability of communities to mesh. What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most cross-media, best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. Think nano-efficient. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for compelling, 60/24/7/365 reporting? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "applications". We will revalue our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our ability to productize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our networks but our aptitude to strategize. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We frequently enable strategic R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will orchestrate the term "transparent". Think cutting-edge. Think dynamic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capability to engage without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reality-based C2C and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to reinvent globally. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We will mesh the jargon-based term "impactful". We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The functionalities factor is wireless. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Think extensible. Think synergistic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to upgrade wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We believe we know that if you iterate interactively then you may also engage seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will engage the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The capacity to maximize iteravely leads to the capability to unleash virtually. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you implement wirelessly, you may have to productize efficiently. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to expedite holistically than to reintermediate globally. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Without well-chosen platforms, ROI metrics are forced to become C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and OWL. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our M&A but our power to enable. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and CSS. What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Without adequate infrastructures, e-businesses are forced to become blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to orchestrate holistically. We will innovate the buzzword "plug-and-play, real-time". Think client-focused. Think mission-critical. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you unleash strategically, you may have to seize efficiently. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? If you synthesize virally, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. We invariably monetize cross-media plug-and-play, frictionless CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market!