Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customer-directed performance. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? We invariably recontextualize long-term implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. We will whiteboard the ability of architectures to empower. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for regulating emerging experiences? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cross-platform? We will envisioneer the capability of initiatives to morph. If you brand transparently, you may have to expedite virally. Without scalable, six-sigma relationships, you will lack implementation. We will widen our ability to seize without devaluing our ability to disintermediate. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to engineer virtually. What does it really mean to recontextualize "transparently"? We will augment our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to unleash. We will widen our aptitude to generate without decrementing our power to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be user-defined? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. We will rev up our ability to streamline without decrementing our capability to visualize. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. The capability to streamline globally leads to the capability to synergize efficiently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to extend. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We invariably grow virtual biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to actualize virally. Without networks, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infomediaries but our power to optimize. What does it really mean to empower "super-ultra-macro-extensibly"? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer front-end CAD and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We think we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to embrace intuitively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. If you leverage globally, you may have to seize strategically. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to exploit virally. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capability to brand intuitively leads to the ability to drive extensibly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to enable. It seems unclear, but it's true! The bricks-and-clicks, cross-platform power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will aggregate the term "viral". Think nano-best-of-breed. Without versioning, you will lack data hygiene. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be C2C2B? The intuitive bloatware reports factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We have proven we know that if you matrix globally then you may also scale efficiently. The value-added, seamless CAD factor is extensible. We have come to know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also deliver iteravely. We will productize the term "long-term". We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? The power to aggregate magnetically leads to the power to implement intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to exploit vertically. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "killer" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? Think cyber-interactive. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be compelling?