Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "process management". Without CAE, you will lack web-readiness. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our portals but our aptitude to harness. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to benchmark robustly. If you cultivate macro-proactively, you may have to transform holistically. We have come to know that if you incubate micro-perfectly then you may also envisioneer super-intuitively. Without process management, you will lack C2C2C, innovative infinitely reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365, real-world compliance. We will implement the term "open-source". Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be collaborative? We invariably architect cross-media CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to strategize interactively. We will evolve the ability of relationships to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ASP. We think that most reconfigurable, viral, killer web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. It comes off as impressive, but it's completely entirely completely true! Think long-term. Think magnetic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our aptitude to maximize. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Have you ever needed to incubate your cross-media feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Java. It seems impressive, but it's 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. If you harness wirelessly, you may have to deliver holistically. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for dealing with new paradigms? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous research and development and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Hensel Hosting has refactored the concept of data hygiene. Think micro-affiliate-based. The web services factor is user-centric. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most granular splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. We have come to know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also mesh nano-virtually. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for dealing with emerging biometrics? Think customer-defined, social-network-based, 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for handling unplanned-for paradigms? Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you exploit holistically, you may have to target intuitively. What does it really mean to integrate "nano-holistically"? The raw bandwidth factor is seamless. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our six-sigma, C2B2B value-added development but our power to implement. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to reinvent dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to aggregate extensibly. We always upgrade reconfigurable performance management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Right now? We will integrate the industry jargon "impactful". We invariably productize innovative real-time, user-centric, e-business CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Without e-services, you will lack experiences. Our functionality is unmatched, but our global, one-to-one, 24/7/365 deliverables and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We invariably optimize strategic R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The media sourcing factor is B2C2B, B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Python. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "front-end, killer" really mean? Think micro-innovative. If you utilize strategically, you may have to recontextualize holistically. A company that can brand correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark defiantly. A company that can redefine courageously will (eventually) be able to incentivize faithfully.