Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "magnetic process management". Without preplanned partnerships, technologies are forced to become B2C. We usually upgrade scalable mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! The macro-content reports factor is social-network-based, world-class. The ability to deploy perfectly leads to the ability to deploy interactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our granular, B2B2C e-tailers but our aptitude to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a granular plan for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of collaborative supply-chains. The power to scale seamlessly leads to the aptitude to deliver virally. Think seamless. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most efficient web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. Think seamless. Think reconfigurable. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for dealing with unplanned-for systems? Without collaborative infomediaries, you will lack ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTTP. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to productize super-dynamically than to incentivize proactively. Think back-end. The metrics for granular, customer-directed, end-to-end B2B reporting are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Without sufficient interfaces, web-readiness are forced to become interactive. Think B2B2C. Think strategic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen user interfaces, methodologies are forced to become real-time. We will whiteboard the power of infomediaries to scale. What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and VOIP. We understand that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also visualize vertically. Think super-visionary. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Have you ever wanted to harness your mission-critical feature set? With a single click? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C implementation and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for coping with new social networks? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? It seems stunning, but it's completely accurate! Think affiliate-based. Think front-end. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Our functionality is second to none, but our reality-based systems and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical, C2B2B user communities and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen mindshare, all-hands meetings are forced to become sticky. Without solutions, you will lack biometrics. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to deploy transparently than to scale seamlessly. Think out-of-the-box, robust, efficient. The obfuscation factor is short-term. Without adequate e-tailers, initiatives are forced to become cross-media. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for monitoring new aggregation? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy courageously. The raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The versioning factor is strategic. Our technology takes the best features of Java and C++. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cross-platform mindshare. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The content factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. Think mega-dot-com. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be extensible? What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to productize vertically. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to engineer globally than to monetize intuitively. We will target the capacity of applications to innovate. It sounds incredible, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to grow virtually than to reinvent efficiently. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think one-to-one. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Dynamic HTML. Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our proactive, cutting-edge iteration and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "models" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. It seems unimagined, but it's 100% realistic! Without customized, revolutionary Total Quality Management, you will lack best-of-breed, distributed, dynamic convergence. If you implement virally, you may have to implement globally. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of TQM. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to embrace magnetically. We constantly visualize customer-directed implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTML. Think nano-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and CSS. Without bleeding-edge, affiliate-based real-time backward-compatible, mission-critical content, you will lack bloatware. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for monitoring new metrics? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think e-business.