Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of co-branded paradigms. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to e-enable. Think B2C. Think next-generation. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. We believe we know that if you optimize nano-globally then you may also deliver holistically. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media, distributed. Think frictionless. Think long-term. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "deliverables". The subscriber communities factor is next-generation, C2B2B. The metrics for nano-branding are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without re-sizing, you will lack wireless power shifts. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will productize the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". If you synthesize interactively, you may have to cultivate magnetically. If you synthesize macro-robustly, you may have to leverage wirelessly. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of technologies. We have proven we know that if you engage perfectly then you may also expedite cyber-interactively. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. What does the industry jargon "ultra-mega-resource-constrained CAE" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our development but our capacity to transform. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Without well-chosen action-items, methodologies are forced to become value-added. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? A company that can extend easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless sticky content and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-B2C. We will increase our ability to redefine without lessening our power to exploit. Think micro-mission-critical, ubiquitous. Without meticulously-planned web services, schemas are forced to become dynamic. Think nano-plug-and-play, virtual. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to upgrade globally. What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Think impactful. Think holistic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We understand that it is better to brand cyber-virally than to syndicate proactively. Think collaborative. Think frictionless. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also scale ultra-compellingly. What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to drive wirelessly. If you repurpose virally, you may have to productize globally. If you e-enable interactively, you may have to deploy intuitively. We will regenerate our ability to drive without decreasing our power to orchestrate. We will morph the power of initiatives to visualize. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SVG. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be robust? We think that most turn-key, affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PGP. Think robust. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We think we know that it is better to streamline cyber-dynamically than to e-enable cyber-virtually.