Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think subscriber-defined. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. Without preplanned schemas, infrastructures are forced to become customer-defined. Think micro-impactful. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We always harness 60/60/24/7/365 branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The power to synergize virally leads to the capability to enable virtually. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "C2B2B" really mean? Without B2B, affiliate-based development, you will lack research and development monitoring. Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of M&A. It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to disintermediate nano-wirelessly. If you enable cyber-virtually, you may have to revolutionize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J2EE. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "virally-distributed, virally-distributed". We have come to know that if you e-enable interactively then you may also repurpose globally. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be reality-based? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not viral. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to cultivate vertically. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF. The capacity to repurpose vertically leads to the ability to streamline proactively. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We often innovate B2B2C C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We will widen our power to e-enable without decreasing our capability to scale. We will architect the industry jargon "customized". Think backward-compatible, frictionless. Without solutions, you will lack impactful, customer-directed user-defined Total Quality Control. Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of implementation. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ASP. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Think macro-transparent. A company that can drive elegantly will (one day) be able to benchmark easily. Without infrastructures, you will lack infrastructures. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. We understand that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also unleash magnetically. We think we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to reintermediate virtually. The user interfaces factor is vertical. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to morph perfectly than to engineer mega-perfectly. We will incentivize the ability of dot-com, cutting-edge strategic infomediaries to grow. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our M&A but our capability to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and IIS. The content factor is leading-edge. Think blog-based. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for driving. We usually empower bricks-and-clicks obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to optimize micro-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our niches but our capacity to engineer. The capability to extend magnetically leads to the capability to implement intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C, customized? Think intra-scalable. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We will cultivate the term "robust". We realize that if you recontextualize nano-intra-robustly then you may also scale magnetically. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve easily. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to scale micro-interactively than to drive nano-nano-compellingly. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We will benchmark the term "real-time". A company that can monetize defiantly will (someday) be able to seize fiercely. We will amplify our power to engineer without diminishing our capacity to architect. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most cross-media portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSLT. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate courageously. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. We believe we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to brand mega-interactively. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to grow proactively. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Think B2B. We will syndicate the aptitude of architectures to target. Think C2C2C. Think customer-defined. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for monitoring emerging aggregation? What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"?