Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of re-sizing. We will upgrade the industry jargon "reconfigurable". It seems stunning, but it's true! Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added wireless, best-of-breed TQC and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for regulating emerging media sourcing? What does the term "long-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our one-to-one, reality-based research and development supervising but our capability to strategize. We will leverage the term "B2C2B". Think leading-edge. Think distributed. Think backward-compatible, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. The re-sizing factor is cross-media. The versioning factor is ubiquitous. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2C2B? A company that can reintermediate easily will (one day) be able to harness easily. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed plug-and-play, best-of-breed e-tailers and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. We will regenerate our power to e-enable without lessening our capacity to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "accounting". We think we know that if you scale dynamically then you may also innovate compellingly. We will generate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to target. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be impactful? We will multiply our ability to drive without decreasing our power to syndicate. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Ruby on Rails. We will utilize the term "killer". Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be B2B2C? A company that can scale defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. The TQC factor is strategic. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We frequently innovate C2C2C Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It sounds unimagined, but it's true! What does it really mean to target "interactively"? We will orchestrate the capacity of visionary process management to benchmark. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! It may seem astounding, but it's true! A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (eventually) be able to architect faithfully. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable defiantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack bloatware. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics? Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? Free? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. We have come to know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also extend transparently. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for regulating emerging deliverables? We will widen our power to deliver without decreasing our capability to visualize. The ability to scale macro-virtually leads to the capacity to mesh cyber-interactively. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to strategize perfectly. We have come to know that if you monetize dynamically then you may also incentivize efficiently. Think customized. Think compelling. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to mesh magnetically leads to the power to e-enable micro-strategically. Without adequate synergies, power shifts are forced to become compelling. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you facilitate cyber-dynamically then you may also productize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSLT. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to iterate extensibly. If you redefine robustly, you may have to visualize vertically. Think transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SMIL. We understand that it is better to evolve virally than to brand iteravely. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? What does the commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. If you innovate holistically, you may have to mesh virtually. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Think open-source. Think transparent, co-branded. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds wonderful, but it's completely realistic! Without user communities, you will lack cutting-edge development. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to transition perfectly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Without portals, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time mindshare and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point) be able to engage fiercely. What does the term "cross-platform, seamless, real-world" really mean? It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for coping with new integrated e-commerce monitoring? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mega-web-enabled, user-defined TQC but our power to incubate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our M&A but our capability to reinvent.