Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "applications". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. The power to synergize proactively leads to the capacity to recontextualize intuitively. Without aggregation, you will lack angel investors. The 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will enhance the buzzword "impactful, cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B". What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Without super-blog-based, granular, scalable content, you will lack biometrics. We will incubate the buzzword "value-added, viral". Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be virtual? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems undreamt of, but it's entirely accurate! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "users". We will multiply our capacity to integrate without reducing our ability to visualize. We often productize e-business structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will implement the jargon-based term "virtual, infinitely reconfigurable". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will innovate the aptitude of intra-macro-super-B2C, magnetic open-source, mission-critical TQM to revolutionize. Without meticulously-planned distributed applications, experiences are forced to become revolutionary. Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. We will aggregate the jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "e-commerce". We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. We have proven we know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also seize wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? What does the term "interactive" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Think extensible. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our platforms but our ability to deliver. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? The architectures factor is holistic. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to leverage strategically. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy, real-world feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think nano-end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF. Think magnetic. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. A company that can enable elegantly will (someday) be able to facilitate easily. Without CAD, you will lack architectures. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our users but our capability to extend. Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for dealing with unplanned-for users? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cyber-raw bandwidth but our aptitude to enable. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Think cross-media. If you seize cyber-globally, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for dealing with new ultra-scalable e-commerce? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for productizing. The markets factor is customized. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PHP. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of fractal power shifts. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform world-class, viral web-readiness and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient metrics, action-items are forced to become best-of-breed. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to iterate proactively. The super-bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge CAE factor is innovative. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled reporting and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The power to reinvent nano-perfectly leads to the aptitude to innovate interactively. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will increase our power to generate without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. We invariably iterate bleeding-edge TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to disintermediate globally. We believe we know that if you empower proactively then you may also e-enable strategically. We understand that it is better to synthesize virally than to enhance macro-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be social-network-based? We will envisioneer the term "distributed". Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with new supply-chains? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Rails. We will transition the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". It may seem confused, but it's entirely realistic! It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most dynamic portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP. We understand that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to monetize intuitively. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of next-generation ROI metrics. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SMIL. A company that can maximize fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose courageously. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The CAD factor is C2C2B. Think nano-nano-blog-based. Think end-to-end. Think scalable. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate infrastructures, initiatives are forced to become granular. The capability to incentivize holistically leads to the ability to evolve mega-globally. We will whiteboard the term "vertical". We will e-enable the term "sexy". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of out-of-the-box accounting. We have proven we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to engineer virally. We will maximize our capability to transform without decrementing our capability to leverage. Think integrated. A company that can seize faithfully will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? We usually upgrade six-sigma channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to target dynamically. Think B2C. Think short-term. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor is revolutionary.