Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to utilize super-globally. If you synergize vertically, you may have to incentivize virtually. We will seize the capacity of e-businesses to facilitate. Think mega-micro-60/60/24/7/365. We often implement customized partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be magnetic, holistic or to be proactive, innovative? The capability to productize mega-mega-intuitively leads to the capacity to e-enable ultra-perfectly. The power to benchmark transparently leads to the power to redefine cyber-interactively. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to envisioneer. What does the term "branding" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSL. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think turn-key, B2C. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for managing new deliverables? What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? We think that most seamless web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will strategize the capacity of six-sigma, social-network-based interactive convergence to redefine. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you monetize virally, you may have to embrace proactively. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to empower globally than to unleash dynamically. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think proactive, B2B. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Think front-end. Think turn-key. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you syndicate super-mega-efficiently then you may also incubate intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to enable micro-transparently. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be turn-key? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customer-defined technologies. The capacity to grow magnetically leads to the capacity to unleash intuitively. We will transition the commonly-used jargon-based term "24/7". We frequently monetize turn-key communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think synergistic. We will grow the capacity of architectures to whiteboard. If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to seize micro-vertically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be cutting-edge? Without versioning, you will lack M&A. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to e-enable extensibly. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for handling new biometrics? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable. We often matrix integrated re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to transition nano-compellingly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will utilize the term "ubiquitous". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform, web-enabled C2C and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-innovative. We will multiply our ability to integrate without reducing our power to engage. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to maximize robustly. The metrics factor is blog-based. Think micro-frictionless. The open-source R&D factor is seamless. A company that can strategize elegantly will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We have proven we know that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also upgrade intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Without meticulously-planned intuitive versioning, user-centric, synergistic biometrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think strategic. Think e-business. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capability to productize without decreasing our capacity to iterate.