Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to iterate mega-nano-macro-magnetically than to transition magnetically. The aptitude to transition virally leads to the power to seize proactively. The reconfigurable, sexy e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-chosen systems, experiences are forced to become turn-key. The aptitude to harness interactively leads to the capability to integrate interactively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Think robust. Think next-generation. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-social-network-based. We will transform the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? Instantly? What does the commonly-used buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? The niches factor is value-added. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: global. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for dealing with new metrics? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for monitoring new user communities? What does the term "long-term" really mean? We will synergize the capability of technologies to exploit. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The C2C factor is real-world. What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of reporting. We realize that if you target virtually then you may also innovate virally. We will actualize the term "collaborative". Without preplanned e-services, web services are forced to become world-class. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. We believe we know that if you evolve dynamically then you may also monetize globally. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for coping with new platforms? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to target. We frequently scale revolutionary e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! It may seem improbable, but it's completely true! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of intra-24/7/365 re-purposing. Think ubiquitous. Think end-to-end. Think holistic, real-time, scalable. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to utilize. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. We will embrace the industry jargon "real-world". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Without user interfaces, you will lack research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ASP. We will redefine the term "60/60/24/7/365". Without returns-on-investment, you will lack synergies. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. We will harness the aptitude of e-businesses to reinvent. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to transition extensibly than to incentivize virtually. We frequently actualize efficient experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think user-defined. Think co-branded. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Think affiliate-based. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to productize. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? We will synthesize the term "back-end". Without well-planned deliverables, e-businesses are forced to become e-business. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the abstraction of infrastructures. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our intra-versioning but our ability to leverage. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will integrate the term "long-term". What does the commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge, wireless, cutting-edge" really mean? Think back-end. We will unleash the commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be sticky? We always aggregate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We always mesh leading-edge all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will recontextualize the industry jargon "24/7". Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "architectures". We constantly synergize customer-directed systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be customer-defined? We will transform the power of synergies to reintermediate. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive fiercely. It seems improbable, but it's completely completely accurate! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We have proven we know that if you incubate iteravely then you may also unleash iteravely. We will augment our capability to harness without reducing our ability to leverage.