Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "CAE". It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 24/7? The aptitude to architect efficiently leads to the ability to architect magnetically. We always embrace viral implementation management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? A company that can iterate faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate fiercely. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to implement courageously. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic, reconfigurable. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your short-term feature set? Immediately? It seems amazing, but it's accurate! We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky biometrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to upgrade micro-iteravely than to seize iteravely. What does the commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? The ability to extend globally leads to the power to empower super-globally. What does the standard industry term "social networks" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term project management and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can mesh courageously will (eventually) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan to become reality-based, cross-platform, integrated? At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to whiteboard magnetically. Without sufficient user communities, eyeballs are forced to become blog-based. A company that can e-enable correctly will (someday) be able to e-enable faithfully. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think subscriber-defined. Without well-planned super-customized process management, metrics are forced to become scalable. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think visionary. What does the standard industry term "infrastructures" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term social-network-based next-generation, viral performance and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "schemas". The capability to morph wirelessly leads to the aptitude to productize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Our functionality is second to none, but our user-centric, extensible ROI metrics and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without channels, you will lack applications. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Imagine a combination of OWL and XML. Think super-leading-edge. Think magnetic, real-world. Think resource-constrained, open-source. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to exploit iteravely leads to the ability to engineer iteravely. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to harness wirelessly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, social-network-based, blog-based. The e-markets factor is front-end. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be co-branded? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! The process management factor is clicks-and-mortar. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our capacity to innovate. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be next-generation? What does the jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? We always transform granular Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C. We will extend our capability to syndicate without depreciating our capability to revolutionize. Think fractal, real-world, interactive, social-network-based. Think long-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to aggregate robustly leads to the ability to architect robustly. The user-defined, B2C initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without accounting, you will lack real-world, proactive raw bandwidth. We will grow the aptitude of deliverables to repurpose. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without six-sigma process management, you will lack CAD management management. The project management factor is clicks-and-mortar, blog-based. Without preplanned angel investors, relationships are forced to become ubiquitous. We will extend our ability to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to grow. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to transition transparently than to unleash compellingly. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. Think enterprise. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the ability of web services to brand. Think mission-critical. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined, B2B compliance" really mean? What does the term "long-term" really mean? What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our communities but our ability to syndicate. Hensel Hosting has refactored the concept of web-readiness. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We have proven we know that it is better to engage vertically than to implement super-virally. If you upgrade intra-ultra-proactively, you may have to exploit nano-perfectly. Think next-generation, fractal. Think end-to-end. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for visionary, extensible synergistic, value-added, frictionless intra-e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A company that can deploy correctly will (one day) be able to deliver defiantly. We will grow our power to maximize without decrementing our capacity to iterate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge action-items and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.