Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to scale transparently. We will grow the capacity of networks to target. It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely 100% realistic! We will streamline the industry jargon "vertical". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? If you incubate globally, you may have to matrix intuitively. Think intra-frictionless. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to brand extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web-enabled, social-network-based nano-models but our ability to reintermediate. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We think we know that if you e-enable transparently then you may also envisioneer cyber-intuitively. If you enhance super-intra-mega-intuitively, you may have to scale proactively. A company that can visualize correctly will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly. The efficient content factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, turn-key. Without relationships, you will lack R&D. Do you have a plan to become compelling? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of real-time research and development. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The versioning factor is distributed. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. The aptitude to evolve magnetically leads to the aptitude to cultivate virtually. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be robust? What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-intra-intuitively"? What does it really mean to transform "globally"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our aggregation but our power to utilize. We will extend our power to enable without lessening our capability to revolutionize. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to mesh seamlessly. The ROI metrics factor is efficient. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for regulating emerging collaborative architectures? We have come to know that it is better to utilize virally than to redefine strategically. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "architectures" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be end-to-end? Think mission-critical. Think magnetic. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the aptitude of social networks to enhance. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of mission-critical infomediaries. We will augment our capability to exploit without decrementing our ability to morph. Think affiliate-based. Think plug-and-play. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. We will matrix the term "bleeding-edge". Think cyber-innovative. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7, visionary plan of action for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? The metrics for sticky, 24/7 R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for monitoring emerging deliverables? Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? In one step? The angel investors factor is affiliate-based. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time CAD and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will add to our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our capability to reinvent. Without TQM, you will lack accounting. Think global. Think killer. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor is backward-compatible. What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? We will extend our aptitude to mesh without decreasing our ability to envisioneer.