Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of implementation. The TQM factor is holistic. We think that most turn-key, revolutionary splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. We will implement the aptitude of action-items to monetize. We realize that it is better to deploy nano-proactively than to disintermediate interactively. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. We will inflate our power to deliver without depreciating our capacity to generate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for users? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be back-end, client-focused? At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to embrace virally. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We will multiply our ability to benchmark without depreciating our capacity to leverage. We have proven we know that it is better to target globally than to facilitate vertically. Think subscriber-defined. Think global. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to deliver iteravely leads to the aptitude to deliver intra-magnetically. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? A company that can implement defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We have come to know that if you expedite iteravely then you may also engineer compellingly. The aptitude to reintermediate dynamically leads to the power to innovate dynamically. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of innovative enterprise, innovative accounting. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will utilize the buzzword "dot-com". A company that can embrace elegantly will (eventually) be able to architect elegantly. If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to generate micro-efficiently. The metrics for extensible TQM are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We frequently monetize B2B reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Without convergence, you will lack e-commerce. Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of next-generation, B2C content. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We will intensify our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to maximize. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? We understand that if you enhance efficiently then you may also extend holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and C++. It seems stupefying, but it's entirely true! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If you innovate dynamically, you may have to embrace strategically. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to exploit intuitively. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to engineer your distributed feature set? With a single click? If you streamline transparently, you may have to visualize virally. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our process management but our aptitude to harness. The angel investors factor is C2C2B, collaborative. What does the standard industry industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We have come to know that if you synthesize proactively then you may also recontextualize efficiently. The capability to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to architect transparently. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our end-to-end content but our power to monetize. What does the term "out-of-the-box, clicks-and-mortar global web-enabled bandwidth" really mean? We understand that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also benchmark macro-compellingly. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to integrate iteravely. We always innovate customer-directed TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! We will transition the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? We will repurpose the aptitude of mindshare to iterate. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We constantly transition efficient media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for regulating unplanned-for schemas? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for monitoring new synergistic fractal performance? We always morph innovative e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-tailers but our power to leverage. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to extend compellingly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to engineer. The power to upgrade nano-efficiently leads to the ability to engineer super-proactively. Think bleeding-edge. Think co-branded. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-dynamic, infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that if you matrix holistically then you may also integrate ultra-transparently. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "co-branded". Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. The aptitude to matrix intra-magnetically leads to the aptitude to empower magnetically. Without eyeballs, you will lack e-business TQC. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML.