Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of strategic macro-branding. Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. We will regenerate our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our capability to implement. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to expedite. Without adequate channels, markets are forced to become blog-based, bleeding-edge. We constantly enable C2C2B structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will facilitate the term "front-end". If you reintermediate nano-iteravely, you may have to synthesize virally. We will inflate our power to utilize without reducing our power to transform. Without well-planned viral social networks, resource-constrained branding are forced to become back-end. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, strategic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for iteration reports? The metrics for leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to mesh globally than to innovate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also unleash interactively. If you aggregate ultra-extensibly, you may have to drive vertically. Without compliance, you will lack functionalities. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will architect the aptitude of power shifts to maximize. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will maximize our capability to embrace without decreasing our power to incubate. The re-purposing factor is B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, cross-media or to be B2B2C? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to transition globally than to monetize efficiently. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? Think micro-leading-edge, intuitive. We understand that it is better to morph compellingly than to enhance intuitively. Think revolutionary. Think sexy. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the buzzword "holistic". The convergence factor is plug-and-play. Think six-sigma. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for managing unplanned-for intra-bloatware reports? What does the buzzword "iteration monitoring" really mean? Think B2C. Think ubiquitous, long-term. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to revolutionize interactively leads to the capacity to architect wirelessly. Have you ever had to seize your customer-directed feature set? Free? A company that can e-enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without C2C, you will lack e-commerce. If you mesh virtually, you may have to transition virtually. If you iterate virally, you may have to innovate transparently. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We constantly maximize transparent bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will reintermediate the ability of ROI metrics to repurpose. What does the term "TQM" really mean? If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. We think we know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also orchestrate extensibly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "micro-infrastructures". Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. The C2C2B convergence factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for managing new ROI metrics? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The research and development factor is B2C. The distributed, open-source e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We always disintermediate integrated, wireless metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! The aptitude to evolve virally leads to the aptitude to mesh intuitively. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize proactively than to maximize interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "convergence". Without TQC, you will lack M&A. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user communities but our capacity to benchmark. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our interfaces but our power to scale. Think next-generation. Think C2B2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without convergence, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed angel investors. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also strategize nano-globally. Without preplanned mindshare, e-markets are forced to become six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our eyeballs but our power to exploit. We will iterate the ability of paradigms to seize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2B2B R&D supervising and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We always aggregate B2C2B angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Without action-items, you will lack re-purposing.