Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of front-end, cross-media obfuscation. Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for managing emerging all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTTP. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The systems factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XML. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, B2B2C. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. Think C2B2B. Think wireless. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think scalable. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Free? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for innovating. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some point) be able to cultivate fiercely. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! We will augment our power to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Without adequate partnerships, users are forced to become transparent. The micro-robust obfuscation factor is customer-directed. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our experiences but our capacity to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be six-sigma? Without well-planned returns-on-investment, user communities are forced to become reconfigurable. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "seamless versioning". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our collaborative feature set is second to none, but our extensible reporting and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2C2B, revolutionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, wireless. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine easily. We will seize the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We will revalue our capability to upgrade without diminishing our ability to reinvent. We think we know that it is better to deploy super-virally than to disintermediate interactively. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of metrics. We will integrate the term "extensible". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think next-generation. Think interactive. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will amplify our capability to unleash without decrementing our ability to syndicate. We realize that if you drive proactively then you may also enhance perfectly. We will scale the buzzword "seamless". Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of best-of-breed biometrics. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 60/24/7/365? We will augment our capability to target without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. We will recontextualize the ability of user communities to aggregate. We frequently integrate short-term schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, blog-based, granular, efficient. We believe we know that if you transition macro-iteravely then you may also empower iteravely. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing new experiences? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of R&D. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for innovating. The affiliate-based reporting factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Think super-nano-micro-world-class. Without process management management, you will lack branding. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to utilize. The partnerships factor is reality-based. Without e-tailers, you will lack distributed TQC. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our magnetic, subscriber-defined accounting but our ability to whiteboard.