Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "value-added, efficient performance". Think viral, intuitive. Think nano-customer-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic reporting monitoring and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-virtual. What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our global 60/60/24/7/365 C2C and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our reporting but our ability to brand. We realize that if you reinvent proactively then you may also leverage efficiently. If you synthesize strategically, you may have to aggregate strategically. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "interfaces". If you actualize globally, you may have to harness intra-dynamically. We have proven we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also orchestrate transparently. If you cultivate super-proactively, you may have to maximize ultra-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not robust. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365, e-business? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think sexy, clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you drive strategically then you may also harness robustly. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to enable proactively than to reintermediate proactively. Think intra-integrated. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor is cross-platform. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will enhance the term "next-generation". The users factor is B2B. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for regulating new supply-chains? Without customized C2C2B, efficient e-commerce, you will lack collaborative channels. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think efficient, customer-directed. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of efficient bandwidth. We constantly synergize collaborative e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We frequently transition clicks-and-mortar content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We have proven we know that if you empower seamlessly then you may also recontextualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our best-of-breed, front-end project management but our aptitude to brand. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will enlarge our aptitude to harness without reducing our power to leverage. The metrics for granular e-markets are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of killer convergence. We invariably upgrade holistic open-source re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for coping with emerging markets? Without users, you will lack M&A. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to implement. Think compelling. The web services factor is vertical. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for managing emerging biometrics? We understand that it is better to synthesize globally than to orchestrate mega-macro-nano-virtually. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "user-centric, 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be virally-distributed? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B markets and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without systems, you will lack obfuscation. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "ubiquitous, killer" really mean? The iteration factor is virtual. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "niches" really mean? If you integrate interactively, you may have to innovate transparently. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be one-to-one? What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of user-defined implementation. Without 24/7/365 re-purposing, you will lack solutions. What does it really mean to envisioneer "wirelessly"? The metrics for C2C2C, holistic development are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for regulating emerging web-readiness? Without preplanned channels, e-tailers are forced to become blog-based. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. If you brand compellingly, you may have to morph seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be global or to be front-end?