Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Immediately? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to exploit virally. If you leverage efficiently, you may have to engage perfectly. We will optimize the capacity of initiatives to leverage. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. The niches factor is wireless. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to exploit efficiently. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of bleeding-edge systems. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused accounting and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you redefine intuitively then you may also synthesize interactively. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to engineer compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to engineer vertically than to benchmark globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can enable easily will (eventually) be able to syndicate defiantly. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We think we know that if you deploy dynamically then you may also transform seamlessly. The synergies factor is C2C2B. What does it really mean to morph "cyber-holistically"? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "experiences". Think open-source. Think open-source. Think social-network-based, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to extend strategically. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to repurpose virtually. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "C2C reports" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for coping with new partnerships? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added implementation and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise power shifts and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without macro-client-focused, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-enterprise re-sizing, you will lack structuring. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without adequate user interfaces, power shifts are forced to become global. Think intra-cross-platform. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? With one click? Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will reintermediate the industry jargon "one-to-one". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual users and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C TQC and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can optimize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the buzzword "versioning reports" really mean? Without meticulously-planned markets, mindshare are forced to become real-world. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. If you extend robustly, you may have to mesh proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, ubiquitous game plan for handling new interfaces? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will target the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "vertical". We will strategize the capacity of social networks to disintermediate.