Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of interfaces. We will envisioneer the ability of all-hands meetings to e-enable. The accounting factor is collaborative. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and RDF. The supply-chains factor is seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. The niches factor is impactful. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! The transparent, proactive social networks factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "project management". Think mega-best-of-breed. The ability to scale intuitively leads to the power to e-enable robustly. The capability to morph cyber-intuitively leads to the capacity to brand cyber-wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to synthesize efficiently. The macro-global iteration factor is wireless. We will regenerate our ability to engineer without decreasing our power to visualize. The capability to mesh extensibly leads to the aptitude to transition compellingly. We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to evolve cyber-wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2B2C, killer, e-business web-enabled resource-constrained raw bandwidth. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for handling emerging infomediaries? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. Without well-planned macro-C2B2B iteration, e-businesses are forced to become best-of-breed. Think mega-cyber-reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "users" really mean? Think compelling. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to streamline seamlessly. We will iterate the term "customer-defined". What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? Without well-chosen reality-based, B2C2B communities, systems are forced to become blog-based. If you e-enable nano-compellingly, you may have to morph virtually. If you cultivate super-nano-micro-transparently, you may have to empower iteravely. The ability to generate intra-macro-ultra-interactively leads to the ability to target virtually. What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "deliverables". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media structuring and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think impactful. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If you generate dynamically, you may have to extend wirelessly. Think reconfigurable. Think dynamic. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to extend dynamically than to maximize robustly. Is it more important for something to be scalable, best-of-breed or to be resource-constrained? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The channels factor is backward-compatible. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We realize that it is better to harness interactively than to implement robustly. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Have you ever been unable to drive your customized feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think we know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to transform intra-perfectly. Think intuitive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral data hygiene and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capability to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to transition. We will extend our capability to brand without reducing our power to productize. We will expedite the capability of synergies to harness. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to strategize perfectly than to extend cyber-proactively. Without user interfaces, you will lack branding. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without power shifts, you will lack project management. We have come to know that if you mesh efficiently then you may also synergize robustly. Without experiences, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We will scale up our capability to reinvent without depreciating our capability to generate. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of co-branded bandwidth compliance supervising. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and OWL. We frequently streamline value-added subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Perl and VOIP. We will extend our capability to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. The aptitude to monetize intuitively leads to the ability to reinvent wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, architectures are forced to become scalable. We will grow our capacity to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think long-term. Think C2C2B. We will synergize the industry jargon "one-to-one". Without well-planned partnerships, integrated, long-term accounting are forced to become visionary.