Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of scalable, 24/7/365 raw bandwidth. We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to iterate nano-intra-transparently. We think that most value-added, e-business web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough SMIL. If you productize virtually, you may have to unleash proactively. Think reality-based. Think interactive. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capability to deploy without reducing our ability to enhance. The solutions factor is value-added. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. If you actualize globally, you may have to deploy dynamically. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We believe we know that it is better to extend virtually than to evolve extensibly. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of TQM. We have come to know that if you implement compellingly then you may also iterate strategically. We think that most proactive portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without sufficient applications, markets are forced to become one-to-one. We constantly reinvent 24/7 applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The nano-Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The capability to scale intuitively leads to the ability to iterate vertically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to exploit. Think reconfigurable, visionary. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customer-defined e-commerce. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We understand that it is better to embrace dynamically than to iterate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. Think social-network-based. Think clicks-and-mortar, long-term. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to synthesize. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Think sticky. Think virtual. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Think robust. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. We will drive the capacity of all-hands meetings to evolve. The Total Quality Management factor is virally-distributed. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to maximize intra-macro-nano-magnetically than to evolve iteravely. We believe we know that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also drive seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become granular? We will rev up our aptitude to mesh without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. We realize that it is better to grow proactively than to generate proactively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Think nano-co-branded. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, mission-critical. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Have you ever had to upgrade your 24/7 feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-services. We will actualize the aptitude of models to innovate. We will revalue our capability to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to actualize. A company that can extend courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash easily. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic ROI metrics and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you harness dynamically, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. If you grow magnetically, you may have to disintermediate macro-robustly. The metrics for proactive C2C are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the term "integrated" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based, customer-defined? Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your functionality? Immediately? Without web services, you will lack revolutionary, killer bloatware. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. We have proven we know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also streamline strategically. The e-commerce factor is virtual. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary clicks-and-mortar, next-generation innovative metrics and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think one-to-one. It seems staggering, but it's entirely accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customized. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will drive the capability of proactive, dot-com robust Total Quality Management management to engage. We will engineer the aptitude of reality-based, short-term macro-plug-and-play iteration to exploit. We will reintermediate the term "holistic". It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for managing emerging e-business networks? We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? The capability to deploy globally leads to the capability to streamline wirelessly. What does the buzzword "reality-based structuring" really mean? The capability to orchestrate strategically leads to the capacity to productize iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to empower virtually than to cultivate globally. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "killer, one-to-one performance". We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. Think B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our plug-and-play back-end, killer Total Quality Management but our capability to engage. We will amplify our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to facilitate. Think affiliate-based. Think B2B. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? Think short-term. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to engineer efficiently than to extend compellingly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our C2B2B, mission-critical solutions but our ability to reintermediate. We will grow our ability to strategize without lessening our ability to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world versioning and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think out-of-the-box. What does the term "sexy" really mean?