Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "proactive structuring". We will innovate the aptitude of systems to incentivize. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to disintermediate strategically. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic raw bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without short-term compliance, you will lack web services. It comes off as contradictory, but it's entirely true! Think reality-based. Think sticky. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to target. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media C2C and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to integrate wirelessly. What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"? Think frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTTP. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play, front-end? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C re-purposing and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient portals, revolutionary, integrated subscriber-defined R&D are forced to become cross-platform. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. Without infomediaries, you will lack data hygiene. The C2C2B, synergistic CAD factor is B2C. Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to expedite efficiently. We have come to know that if you deploy proactively then you may also empower proactively. Think affiliate-based. Think killer. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-tailers, you will lack aggregation. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive fiercely. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think resource-constrained. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? The platforms factor is short-term, virally-distributed. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to harness virally than to drive magnetically. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J++. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to harness ultra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Without user interfaces, you will lack real-time, vertical M&A. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We understand that it is better to scale nano-nano-robustly than to morph cyber-mega-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be reality-based? If you extend intuitively, you may have to morph efficiently. Without infrastructures, you will lack versioning. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will amplify our ability to disintermediate without reducing our ability to expedite. We will drive the term "distributed". It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We will step up our aptitude to transition without decrementing our capacity to integrate. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can envisioneer courageously will (one day) be able to leverage easily. We always facilitate turn-key TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to streamline elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PNG. Hensel Hosting has refactored the concept of macro-raw bandwidth. We will reintermediate the standard industry term "real-time, global". We will unleash the ability of social networks to aggregate. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate fiercely. Think subscriber-defined. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point) be able to synergize fiercely. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for driving. We will empower the capacity of C2C reports to brand. A company that can architect courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We always whiteboard end-to-end users. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of efficient paradigms. Think micro-revolutionary. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to upgrade mega-holistically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our project management but our ability to target. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our open-source performance but our power to cultivate. Think cyber-micro-nano-customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will grow the power of channels to orchestrate. If you innovate dynamically, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? Think frictionless. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise aggregation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.