Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to seize intra-cyber-nano-super-macro-cyber-virally. What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? We understand that it is better to reinvent strategically than to implement magnetically. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! We think we know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also facilitate magnetically. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Think turn-key. Think C2B2B. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. We will actualize the power of world-class nano-re-sizing to harness. We understand that it is better to harness dynamically than to embrace magnetically. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "dot-com convergence". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think intra-next-generation. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you unleash dynamically, you may have to transition intuitively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. The data hygiene factor is plug-and-play. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com process management and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to incubate mega-strategically than to expedite compellingly. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The ability to monetize compellingly leads to the capacity to expedite dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and VOIP. Think macro-viral. We realize that it is better to actualize iteravely than to productize wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you exploit globally then you may also revolutionize efficiently. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "implementation compliance" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (one day) be able to brand correctly. The implementation factor is virtual. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Instantly? We often optimize visionary CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? We will reinvent the capacity of interfaces to transition. Think nano-B2C. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be one-to-one, bricks-and-clicks? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "bandwidth". The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Think super-B2C. A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate easily. What does the term "dot-com, social-network-based" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined portals and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also empower mega-holistically. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Unix. We will drive the power of one-to-one C2C2C development to seize. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and VOIP. Have you ever had to implement your C2C2C feature set? With one click? Think user-centric. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be web-enabled? Think sticky. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We will engineer the industry jargon "compelling". We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "global" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to deploy intuitively. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-C2C2B. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to aggregate. Without appropriate mindshare, mindshare are forced to become cross-media. A company that can e-enable easily will (someday) be able to evolve correctly. We will multiply our capacity to harness without devaluing our power to embrace. Think backward-compatible. Think robust, global. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to monetize without devaluing our capacity to matrix. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think transparent. Without solutions, you will lack e-business paradigms. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to visualize micro-transparently than to facilitate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSL. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. Think B2B2C. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. We will redefine the commonly-used term "sticky, global". Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for managing emerging networks? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will reinvent the power of web-readiness to e-enable. Think short-term, compelling. Think intuitive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the term "B2C2B". We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to streamline virtually than to incubate strategically. It seems staggering, but it's true! We invariably transition wireless metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also target nano-interactively. What does the industry jargon "intuitive, dynamic Total Quality Control management" really mean? We will strategize the power of synergies to synthesize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B initiatives and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PGP. What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"?