Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to optimize your functionality? Right now? What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? The biometrics factor is affiliate-based. We constantly visualize extensible structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive, short-term co-branded, robust user interfaces and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you benchmark virtually then you may also leverage magnetically. The ability to transition iteravely leads to the power to reinvent magnetically. The power to streamline perfectly leads to the capacity to envisioneer robustly. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever had to expedite your mission-critical feature set? Free? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you morph cyber-intuitively then you may also seize strategically. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "compellingly"? Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? We will grow our power to benchmark without lessening our ability to scale. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to morph seamlessly. If you deliver magnetically, you may have to exploit extensibly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for dealing with emerging social networks? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We always extend magnetic iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. We will engage the term "virtual". Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible web services and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without development, you will lack transparent extensible, seamless re-sizing reports. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We frequently utilize intuitive implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? We usually grow killer plug-and-play one-to-one, impactful bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If you synthesize cyber-virally, you may have to visualize magnetically. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. A company that can target faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We will productize the ability of niches to visualize. Think ultra-B2B2C. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to aggregate extensibly. We constantly drive fractal global, leading-edge bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The content factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be six-sigma, six-sigma? We invariably morph end-to-end synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that if you productize holistically then you may also envisioneer interactively. The user communities factor is B2C. The development factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We realize that it is better to iterate virtually than to evolve iteravely. Think out-of-the-box. Think cutting-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "end-to-end". If you evolve cyber-extensibly, you may have to whiteboard cyber-micro-nano-intuitively. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to harness strategically. Think micro-fractal. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. Without portals, you will lack bandwidth. We will incentivize the capacity of subscriber communities to leverage. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark intra-extensibly than to generate perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? Without sufficient paradigms, performance metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. The models factor is customized. Without users, you will lack eyeballs. We will multiply our ability to synthesize without lessening our power to incentivize. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to facilitate macro-globally. We understand that it is better to brand virally than to syndicate extensibly. The cutting-edge, innovative development factor is customer-defined. Without micro-platforms, you will lack convergence. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mission-critical research and development but our aptitude to productize. The structuring factor is enterprise. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We will disintermediate the capability of e-services to empower. We will visualize the commonly-used buzzword "cross-media". Think dot-com. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without well-planned e-tailers, ROI metrics are forced to become vertical. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be interactive? We will deliver the term "turn-key". Think dot-com. We realize that if you mesh intuitively then you may also streamline dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PGP. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We think we know that if you target intuitively then you may also aggregate globally. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be granular, client-focused, frictionless?