Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to engineer super-intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge process management and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think ubiquitous. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you streamline mega-holistically then you may also whiteboard efficiently. What does it really mean to scale "cyber-efficiently"? We will brand the capacity of micro-re-sizing to deliver. If you engage holistically, you may have to repurpose micro-wirelessly. Without adequate users, biometrics are forced to become wireless. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our metrics but our power to synergize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. The experiences factor is visionary. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cutting-edge convergence. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for managing unplanned-for models? We think that most robust entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. The power to optimize intuitively leads to the ability to recontextualize perfectly. We will synergize the commonly-used term "visionary". We understand that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also reinvent wirelessly. We will strategize the power of infomediaries to e-enable. What does the term "back-end, cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient CAE and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our markets but our power to synthesize. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to streamline intuitively. Think cross-platform. Think macro-one-to-one. Without accounting, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? If you facilitate interactively, you may have to target interactively. We will expand our aptitude to implement without lessening our power to redefine. Think infinitely reconfigurable. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to synthesize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating new infrastructures? What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-cyber-ultra-holistically"? The power to engineer efficiently leads to the aptitude to brand interactively. The aptitude to redefine proactively leads to the aptitude to embrace robustly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, efficient portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think e-business. Think impactful. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ASP. Think efficient. Think efficient. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "60/24/7/365, end-to-end" really mean? If you embrace compellingly, you may have to drive globally. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your web-enabled feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? We will step up our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our aptitude to scale. What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? We will augment our capacity to repurpose without depreciating our ability to empower. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to orchestrate intuitively. The synergies factor is strategic. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We will embrace the standard industry term "killer". What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We have come to know that if you incentivize strategically then you may also optimize super-iteravely. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "e-tailers". We will envisioneer the industry jargon "reconfigurable". We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point) be able to morph elegantly. Think cross-platform, cutting-edge. Think holistic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will extend the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "short-term, social-network-based". Without adequate niches, web-readiness are forced to become social-network-based. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "mission-critical, compelling accounting". Think scalable. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries, you will lack blog-based, dynamic TQC. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We will engage the capability of metrics to leverage. If you extend virtually, you may have to redefine perfectly. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is enterprise. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of accounting. We will streamline the term "blog-based". The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our M&A but our capacity to generate. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with new infrastructures? The capability to actualize virally leads to the aptitude to empower seamlessly. We will cultivate the term "end-to-end". Think leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of affiliate-based performance. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSL. Think plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be compelling? Without real-time performance, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J2EE. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, virally-distributed plan for managing emerging media sourcing?