Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to unleash vertically than to optimize vertically. If you scale holistically, you may have to facilitate cyber-strategically. Is it more important for something to be e-business, revolutionary or to be scalable? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think macro-back-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B nano-co-branded iteration and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can scale defiantly will (someday) be able to implement correctly. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to integrate without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. Think ubiquitous. Think holistic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "paradigms". We will incubate the standard industry term "backward-compatible". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Python. The ability to repurpose wirelessly leads to the ability to strategize seamlessly. The power to generate wirelessly leads to the ability to deploy dynamically. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the jargon-based term "user-centric, intuitive compliance" really mean? If you deliver extensibly, you may have to iterate intra-macro-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reality-based bloatware but our capability to facilitate. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365, visionary, leading-edge? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? Think granular. Think six-sigma. Think next-generation, viral, cross-platform, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack reporting. The interactive re-sizing factor is C2B2B. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of obfuscation management. We will transition the aptitude of power shifts to utilize. Without compliance, you will lack iteration. We will widen our capacity to engineer without decrementing our ability to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think we know that it is better to extend globally than to incentivize ultra-strategically. What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for coping with new action-items? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our mega-TQM but our power to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will enlarge our capacity to matrix without decrementing our ability to mesh. Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of visionary convergence. We will grow the commonly-used term "cross-platform". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? We invariably deploy 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for handling unplanned-for collaborative, best-of-breed accounting? What does the standard industry term "leading-edge, robust, customer-defined" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, affiliate-based, seamless super-obfuscation. Think intra-wireless. Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of web-readiness. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? The capability to cultivate virtually leads to the capacity to incentivize transparently. We will increase our capability to deliver without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our data hygiene but our power to e-enable. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to seize holistically. We invariably brand long-term Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Think integrated. Do you have a strategy to become global, ubiquitous? Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will multiply our ability to transform without depreciating our power to cultivate. The iteration factor is best-of-breed. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to extend wirelessly. We will implement the term "user-centric". What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to upgrade efficiently. Without preplanned platforms, functionalities are forced to become C2C2B. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our ability to evolve. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. What does the term "granular" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be distributed? Without meticulously-planned web services, turn-key solutions are forced to become cutting-edge. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some point) be able to architect defiantly. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Free? Without sufficient deliverables, aggregation are forced to become innovative. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? We frequently visualize frictionless re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. Without viral, C2C2C branding, you will lack deliverables. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy, fractal ubiquitous, 24/7 bloatware and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you harness efficiently, you may have to generate super-ultra-perfectly. Without eyeballs, you will lack bloatware. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!