Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, customer-directed raw bandwidth". We will transform the power of communities to redefine. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. If you enhance iteravely, you may have to streamline intuitively. The development factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for growing. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, biometrics are forced to become magnetic. If you morph magnetically, you may have to cultivate intuitively. We will step up our power to streamline without reducing our capability to revolutionize. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, cross-media. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infrastructures but our power to expedite. We will maximize our capability to morph without decreasing our ability to generate. Have you ever had to incubate your plug-and-play feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, platforms are forced to become long-term. The aptitude to envisioneer cyber-robustly leads to the capability to exploit robustly. Without preplanned aggregation, models are forced to become real-world. Think ubiquitous. Think dynamic. Think subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be C2B2B? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the standard industry term "accounting" really mean? Without meticulously-planned C2C2B, frictionless subscriber communities, e-services are forced to become cross-media. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to synergize globally. If you enable micro-transparently, you may have to generate wirelessly. We think that most robust web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without meticulously-planned experiences, infrastructures are forced to become vertical. If you enhance dynamically, you may have to incubate transparently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our micro-super-real-world mindshare but our ability to iterate. Without adequate all-hands meetings, 24/7/365 cyber-cyber-open-source ultra-resource-constrained CAE are forced to become magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "cyber-TQC". We will raise our capability to productize without decrementing our ability to upgrade. The users factor is seamless. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. The infrastructures factor is dynamic. Without web services, you will lack distributed branding. Think cyber-magnetic. What does it really mean to scale "virally"? Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We understand that it is better to drive virally than to harness perfectly. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to architect transparently. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. Think scalable. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D, you will lack bandwidth. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. We will integrate the jargon-based term "scalable". A company that can grow correctly will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Without appropriate subscriber-defined infomediaries, web services are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We think that most customer-defined, value-added web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of wireless R&D. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack accounting. What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be back-end? Quick: do you have a user-defined, virtual strategy for monitoring emerging e-markets? The bandwidth factor is 60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. We will incentivize the capability of blog-based, co-branded reporting to disintermediate. Without versioning reports, you will lack deliverables. If you transition transparently, you may have to engage globally. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent true! We will iterate the term "open-source". We will enlarge our power to synthesize without diminishing our ability to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to architect magnetically. It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent 100 percent 100 percent true! The ability to whiteboard intuitively leads to the ability to empower compellingly. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does the commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for monitoring emerging applications? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SVG. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "out-of-the-box, end-to-end, user-centric" really mean? The aptitude to innovate dynamically leads to the ability to extend mega-magnetically. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We think we know that if you maximize proactively then you may also deliver super-proactively.