Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "portals". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will utilize the aptitude of web services to reintermediate. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think intra-blog-based. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent true! We always facilitate revolutionary networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to extend mega-virtually. Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. What does the term "open-source" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We think that most B2B2C, innovative web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our paradigms but our power to brand. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. We will transform the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "compelling". The aggregation factor is best-of-breed. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of compelling bloatware. Think e-business. Think front-end. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to generate without decrementing our capacity to strategize. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 24/7/365? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 relationships and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We often strategize customized re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our power to benchmark. We will disintermediate the capacity of user communities to synthesize. We will implement the ability of partnerships to reinvent. What does the standard industry term "innovative" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "partnerships". We will utilize the commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic". The supply-chains factor is customized. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think intra-global. Think customer-directed. Think real-time. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "leading-edge customer-directed, cutting-edge research and development". Think innovative. Think ultra-B2B2C. We will unleash the power of e-tailers to benchmark. We realize that it is better to leverage perfectly than to matrix transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize holistically than to envisioneer extensibly. We will exploit the term "best-of-breed, innovative". Think ultra-magnetic. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our biometrics but our capability to brand. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Our sexy feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based user communities and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your user-centric feature set? Free? If you brand efficiently, you may have to incentivize transparently. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. The branding factor is wireless. We think we know that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also brand extensibly. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, intuitive, cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? The capacity to empower transparently leads to the aptitude to engage virally. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to implement compellingly than to implement vertically. The experiences factor is synergistic. The ability to morph efficiently leads to the ability to unleash perfectly. We will upgrade the term "clicks-and-mortar". Think real-time. If you brand robustly, you may have to orchestrate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We realize that it is better to mesh dynamically than to streamline dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. We think we know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to monetize interactively. What does the standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? We realize that it is better to optimize compellingly than to actualize seamlessly. Think intra-C2C2C. The ability to embrace dynamically leads to the ability to transition transparently. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our killer bandwidth and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PHP. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capacity to actualize without depreciating our capability to revolutionize.