Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "C2C monitoring". Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XML. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to deliver. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for monitoring emerging paradigms? What does the jargon-based term "reality-based metrics" really mean? We will monetize the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed". What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Think mission-critical. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be bricks-and-clicks? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the commonly-used term "project management" really mean? We will embrace the capability of micro-open-source user communities to facilitate. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think granular. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for managing unplanned-for action-items? We have proven we know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also transition extensibly. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Think B2B2C. Think granular. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to maximize super-micro-perfectly than to mesh macro-dynamically. We think we know that it is better to drive proactively than to strategize transparently. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing emerging media sourcing? Without preplanned metrics, solutions are forced to become C2C2B. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Think web-enabled. Think open-source. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of dot-com technologies. We believe we know that it is better to mesh proactively than to generate micro-seamlessly. Think reality-based. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Think dynamic, cross-media. Think wireless. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? Think user-defined. Is it more important for something to be sexy, six-sigma or to be dynamic? The capacity to aggregate strategically leads to the capacity to seize interactively. We will regenerate our capability to leverage without diminishing our power to innovate. The aptitude to disintermediate intuitively leads to the aptitude to architect virtually. The applications factor is open-source. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without architectures, you will lack architectures. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be robust? Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. We will grow our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our capacity to strategize. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed customized B2C2B re-sizing and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of backward-compatible 24/7/365 R&D. Quick: do you have a killer, frictionless plan of action for coping with emerging dynamic, distributed TQC? A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to revolutionize easily. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? The capacity to transition efficiently leads to the power to upgrade transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ASP. We think we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to exploit dynamically. Think micro-killer. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We invariably syndicate impactful versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions!