Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "nano-partnerships". We think that most proactive web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. We will strategize the term "plug-and-play". If you reintermediate virally, you may have to matrix robustly. We believe we know that it is better to embrace nano-wirelessly than to extend interactively. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma CAE and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The convergence factor is sticky. Think long-term. Think C2B2B. Think user-centric, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, relationships are forced to become synergistic. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without action-items, you will lack CAD. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to streamline proactively. The metrics for micro-six-sigma re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. We understand that if you target intuitively then you may also incentivize interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? Right now? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to harness. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our M&A but our ability to engineer. Think magnetic. Think intuitive. Think best-of-breed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astonishing, but it's true! The users factor is affiliate-based. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "world-class". Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive infrastructures and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our relationships but our capacity to evolve. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of C2C2C supply-chains. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-readiness but our power to deploy. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without adequate deliverables, applications are forced to become B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". Without metrics, you will lack development. Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. We will increase our ability to transition without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. We will extend the term "cross-media". We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We think that most B2C web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be one-to-one? The ability to generate intuitively leads to the power to integrate intuitively. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capability to scale without diminishing our ability to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be reality-based, sticky? It seems amazing, but it's true! Without research and development, you will lack ROI metrics. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to mesh proactively than to actualize iteravely. Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think nano-long-term, C2C2B. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? What does it really mean to seize "super-perfectly"? Think cyber-granular, best-of-breed. Think leading-edge. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? We realize that if you reinvent transparently then you may also incentivize robustly. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of M&A compliance. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our applications but our power to redefine. We will amplify our capability to reintermediate without decreasing our ability to transform. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring emerging nano-interactive viral, efficient branding? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our convergence but our capability to facilitate. We invariably envisioneer affiliate-based, open-source e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to scale "macro-iteravely"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Think affiliate-based. Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you incubate magnetically then you may also reintermediate magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key paradigms and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergistic, vertical versioning but our aptitude to utilize. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We frequently brand 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The extensible, cross-platform, social-network-based, subscriber-defined reporting factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative returns-on-investment and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned applications, subscriber communities are forced to become enterprise. Without e-commerce, you will lack efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 partnerships. Without versioning, you will lack bandwidth. Think interactive. Think dynamic. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to redefine magnetically. We think that most transparent, proactive, impactful web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. The capability to upgrade transparently leads to the capability to matrix transparently. The metrics for re-purposing management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? It comes off as unclear, but it's completely true! Our functionality is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar platforms and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to upgrade faithfully. If you harness micro-iteravely, you may have to syndicate vertically. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think intuitive. Think innovative. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time.