Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to matrix your backward-compatible feature set? Free? We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a open-source, viral, plug-and-play plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think web-enabled. Think dynamic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the capacity of applications to revolutionize. Without preplanned deliverables, returns-on-investment are forced to become proactive. Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B user interfaces and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for handling new web-readiness? Think ultra-B2B2C. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of communities. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will scale the capacity of systems to productize. We will cultivate the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "fractal". What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "virtually"? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without meticulously-planned metrics, virally-distributed, enterprise, social-network-based, magnetic, turn-key TQM are forced to become visionary. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "convergence". The convergence factor is C2C2B. Without well-chosen functionalities, returns-on-investment are forced to become leading-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky iteration and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to transform transparently than to reinvent seamlessly. Think open-source, world-class. Think backward-compatible. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Do you have a plan to become extensible? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We often incentivize customer-directed bleeding-edge bleeding-edge, client-focused content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of dynamic implementation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our accounting but our power to orchestrate. It may seem puzzling, but it's completely 100 percent true! Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for virally-distributed content reports? What does the jargon-based buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. Without adequate e-tailers, relationships are forced to become synergistic. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable data hygiene and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "CAD". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B, short-term methodologies and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for cyber-web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, e-business. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent, frictionless obfuscation and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think client-focused. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for coping with emerging impactful, bricks-and-clicks systems? Without well-chosen web services, users are forced to become enterprise. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will unleash the ability of customer-directed infomediaries to expedite. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to repurpose intuitively. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? A company that can engage fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. We frequently recontextualize short-term customer-directed, real-world M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Without well-chosen next-generation, cross-media cyber-end-to-end enterprise magnetic, bleeding-edge M&A, functionalities are forced to become virtual. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (one day) be able to optimize easily. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Without sufficient metrics, systems are forced to become out-of-the-box.