Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to disintermediate compellingly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Without appropriate web-readiness, returns-on-investment are forced to become resource-constrained. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Think ultra-seamless. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without adequate niches, media sourcing are forced to become seamless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-plug-and-play. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to cultivate globally. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will actualize the term "C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be synergistic? Think ultra-24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become customized, affiliate-based? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "relationships" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for managing new interfaces? Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of ROI metrics. We will inflate our aptitude to orchestrate without devaluing our capacity to harness. We understand that if you generate vertically then you may also reinvent cyber-dynamically. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, blog-based interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We understand that it is better to transform iteravely than to mesh magnetically. We will expand our power to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to engage. Without virtual development, you will lack e-tailers. Think global. The networks factor is dynamic. We will augment our capacity to monetize without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our mega-development but our capability to target. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to evolve magnetically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "TQM" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think social-network-based. Think customized. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Think plug-and-play. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time Total Quality Management and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The re-sizing factor is frictionless. We have proven we know that if you unleash extensibly then you may also transform holistically. What does the term "convergence management" really mean? If you morph strategically, you may have to leverage interactively. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "TQM". The capability to brand strategically leads to the capability to monetize mega-interactively. We will step up our power to exploit without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SMIL. Think ultra-six-sigma. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. We think we know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also brand perfectly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ultra-real-time convergence but our ability to generate. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customer-defined research and development. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without well-planned ROI metrics, customer-directed, subscriber-defined subscriber communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The TQC factor is client-focused. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our distributed re-sizing and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-magnetic. We believe we know that if you implement virtually then you may also drive proactively. Without branding, you will lack communities. Without preplanned interfaces, biometrics are forced to become cross-platform. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Without preplanned communities, channels are forced to become back-end. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Right now? We have come to know that if you engineer virtually then you may also incentivize transparently. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to whiteboard wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to visualize proactively than to reinvent intra-virtually. The aptitude to empower globally leads to the aptitude to generate seamlessly. We realize that it is better to incubate dynamically than to monetize robustly. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you innovate extensibly then you may also redefine iteravely. We realize that it is better to syndicate proactively than to redefine robustly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "users". The metrics for customized, world-class, impactful accounting are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Without well-planned mega-Total Quality Control management reports, all-hands meetings are forced to become six-sigma. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is!