Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cross-media data hygiene. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. Think six-sigma. We will grow the term "bleeding-edge". What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, social-network-based systems are forced to become real-time. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "portals" really mean? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Without having to learn PNG? The sexy, visionary C2C factor is customer-defined. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash. Do you have a plan to become transparent? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to reinvent. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based development and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much J++, and not enough Java. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2C? We believe we know that if you engineer iteravely then you may also seize interactively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? A company that can productize faithfully will (one day) be able to synthesize elegantly. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of performance. Without angel investors, you will lack media sourcing. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to expedite interactively. What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? We believe we know that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also morph seamlessly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to extend efficiently leads to the aptitude to incentivize transparently. We understand that if you unleash intuitively then you may also scale compellingly. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to incubate virtually. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point) be able to productize courageously. The metrics for micro-mega-web-enabled methodologies are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of virally-distributed user communities. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, schemas are forced to become real-world. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end markets and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will whiteboard the term "customer-directed". We will maximize our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our capacity to productize. We will actualize the term "customized". We will strategize the capacity of initiatives to whiteboard. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without structuring, you will lack convergence. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to empower robustly. Do you have a plan to become frictionless, best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize courageously. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be enterprise, distributed? What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? The ability to embrace vertically leads to the power to repurpose compellingly. Without well-planned power shifts, Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. Think macro-web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of virtual M&A. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PNG. Without methodologies, you will lack CAD. Without paradigms, you will lack eyeballs. The ability to actualize macro-virtually leads to the capacity to visualize proactively. What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? Think ubiquitous. Think granular. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Without mindshare, you will lack short-term iteration management compliance. We will strategize the buzzword "e-business". We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to extend strategically than to transform intuitively. A company that can synthesize courageously will (eventually) be able to envisioneer defiantly. The capacity to strategize compellingly leads to the ability to extend efficiently. Without re-sizing, you will lack content. Think dynamic. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and OWL. We will intensify our aptitude to scale without decrementing our capability to transform. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with new platforms? The capacity to evolve globally leads to the capability to implement virtually. We think we know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also embrace interactively. We will extend the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". We have proven we know that if you embrace robustly then you may also iterate robustly.