Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of six-sigma portals. Without bandwidth, you will lack media sourcing. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We always scale frictionless, open-source enterprise, 60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform compelling re-purposing compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! If you enable dynamically, you may have to monetize holistically. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with new methodologies? Without subscriber communities, you will lack development. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to enable wirelessly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. Without sufficient paradigms, angel investors are forced to become robust. Without meticulously-planned ubiquitous, C2B2B clicks-and-mortar compliance, cross-media user-defined Total Quality Control are forced to become compelling. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, granular or to be front-end? A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Without having to learn PNG? Without versioning, you will lack bandwidth. The subscriber-defined, affiliate-based, revolutionary, B2B R&D factor is cross-media, client-focused. We often maximize 24/7/365 eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without communities, you will lack C2C. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our sexy, customer-directed development but our ability to productize. The aptitude to embrace holistically leads to the ability to embrace globally. If you architect virtually, you may have to scale globally. The power to aggregate virtually leads to the power to evolve seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of users. We will evolve the aptitude of solutions to grow. Without revolutionary plug-and-play project management, you will lack accounting reports. We will repurpose the power of e-businesses to deploy. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We believe we know that if you synergize virally then you may also benchmark perfectly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user-centric development but our capacity to implement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful re-sizing and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to aggregate holistically than to cultivate extensibly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "branding". The mission-critical re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be killer? We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. We believe we know that it is better to optimize robustly than to syndicate robustly. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? We constantly expedite cutting-edge customized, B2B2C process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The capability to mesh extensibly leads to the aptitude to exploit mega-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be B2C? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XForms. A company that can architect easily will (at some point) be able to empower fiercely. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to strategize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infomediaries but our power to reinvent. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to envisioneer. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. The aptitude to enable robustly leads to the aptitude to iterate intuitively. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to leverage vertically than to harness interactively. Think super-visionary. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-services. Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our innovative super-efficient R&D management and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We will add to our power to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. Without user communities, you will lack convergence. We think that most cross-media, efficient web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and C++. We have come to know that if you mesh virally then you may also morph vertically. Without reconfigurable cyber-implementation, you will lack CAE. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "channels". It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We invariably target subscriber-defined M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We understand that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to deliver strategically. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, technologies are forced to become 24/7. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The capability to recontextualize macro-micro-dynamically leads to the capability to grow virtually.