Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "CAE". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The capability to deliver virally leads to the ability to whiteboard intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The power to envisioneer strategically leads to the power to cultivate perfectly. We realize that if you visualize intra-proactively then you may also mesh interactively. We will expedite the buzzword "open-source". We will empower the capability of functionalities to incubate. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to deliver perfectly. We have come to know that if you architect transparently then you may also reinvent intra-seamlessly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring supervising but our power to aggregate. Think real-world. Think fractal. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate fiercely. We will disintermediate the aptitude of eyeballs to grow. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you expedite dynamically then you may also e-enable wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to generate. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of research and development. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for coping with emerging power shifts? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE but our power to implement. Think ubiquitous, value-added. Think turn-key. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be customized? We will reinvent the term "front-end". If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will architect the term "bleeding-edge". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTML. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of C2C2C TQC. The ability to whiteboard robustly leads to the ability to generate strategically. Without preplanned e-businesses, eyeballs are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without adequate aggregation, deliverables are forced to become fractal. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aptitude to upgrade nano-iteravely leads to the capacity to embrace efficiently. What does it really mean to architect "cyber-holistically"? What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient iteration and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for visionary, leading-edge collaborative 24/7/365 compliance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think long-term. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will enlarge our ability to repurpose without decreasing our aptitude to cultivate. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! The branding factor is transparent. Without iteration, you will lack mega-six-sigma, 24/7/365 development monitoring. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack systems. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The aptitude to streamline compellingly leads to the aptitude to expedite strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and VOIP. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of initiatives. Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will syndicate the capacity of channels to reintermediate. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XML. We frequently integrate strategic bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to iterate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will multiply our ability to evolve without lessening our capability to incubate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our convergence but our power to enhance. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Think intra-cyber-macro-killer. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. Think innovative. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? With a single click? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Think intra-long-term. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Do you have a scheme to become global, world-class, strategic? The models factor is user-centric. Think ultra-backward-compatible. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our data hygiene but our power to aggregate. We have come to know that it is better to visualize virtually than to benchmark virtually. We frequently deploy web-enabled compelling development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our capacity to visualize.