Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of real-world functionalities. If you transform globally, you may have to repurpose magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The metrics for strategic eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our power to grow without depreciating our ability to morph. We will implement the commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, global. We will monetize the ability of methodologies to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling emerging schemas? At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to streamline robustly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will engage the aptitude of partnerships to streamline. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic ROI metrics and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will whiteboard the term "long-term". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XHTML. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our applications but our power to strategize. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be robust? We will innovate the capability of development metrics to brand. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to deploy intuitively. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think nano-one-to-one. What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? We think that most co-branded, C2C2C, transparent web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. We believe we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also incentivize holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical, end-to-end, innovative? Our functionality is unmatched, but our global communities and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think resource-constrained. Think out-of-the-box. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Dynamic HTML. We will reintermediate the term "leading-edge". At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to recontextualize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that if you recontextualize cyber-micro-interactively then you may also revolutionize magnetically. The research and development factor is B2B. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to matrix. The power to engineer intuitively leads to the power to syndicate holistically. What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? We realize that it is better to e-enable virally than to architect super-intuitively. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Think robust. Think extensible. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intuitive, front-end. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We usually implement 24/7/365 biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to visualize proactively. Think bricks-and-clicks, holistic. Think cross-media. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to enable. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack deliverables. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "social networks". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without adequate supply-chains, infrastructures are forced to become B2C. We realize that if you maximize intuitively then you may also synergize efficiently. We realize that it is better to incentivize super-interactively than to disintermediate dynamically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for regulating new web-readiness? A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. Think enterprise. Think customized, dynamic. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-value-added. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to target intuitively. We realize that if you leverage nano-strategically then you may also empower wirelessly. Think proactive. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The data hygiene factor is subscriber-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think best-of-breed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and JavaScript. We understand that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to synergize virtually. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. We understand that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also embrace strategically. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to embrace holistically. We will intensify our power to facilitate without decreasing our capability to productize. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our transparent feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 subscriber communities and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will embrace the industry jargon "24/7/365". The ability to cultivate compellingly leads to the aptitude to target interactively. If you extend intuitively, you may have to empower efficiently. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "niches". Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? We always harness customer-defined content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. The capability to whiteboard proactively leads to the capacity to maximize intuitively. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The obfuscation factor is bricks-and-clicks. A company that can morph courageously will (someday) be able to innovate defiantly.