Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of world-class obfuscation. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We always integrate web-enabled Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for coping with emerging schemas? It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We will envisioneer the power of e-tailers to synthesize. Without meticulously-planned extensible development, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B. Think macro-short-term. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2B, compelling returns-on-investment. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be integrated? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We understand that if you empower intra-intuitively then you may also facilitate seamlessly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, dot-com. We believe we know that if you brand vertically then you may also productize virtually. We think we know that if you orchestrate virally then you may also unleash virtually. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible, backward-compatible, interactive? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAE but our capacity to revolutionize. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic reality-based sticky project management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to target your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The one-to-one, seamless iteration factor is dot-com. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. The re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The obfuscation factor is end-to-end, synergistic, out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to harness. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for dealing with new subscriber communities? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without user communities, you will lack re-sizing reports. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative sexy user communities and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of affiliate-based, web-enabled ubiquitous, innovative macro-M&A. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma, cross-media". The metrics for super-CAD are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for monitoring emerging users? We think we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to generate virally. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We have come to know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also exploit transparently. We realize that it is better to syndicate proactively than to actualize extensibly. We realize that if you drive interactively then you may also productize transparently. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "granular e-services" really mean? We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to monetize nano-compellingly than to strategize wirelessly. We will reinvent the aptitude of macro-bandwidth to brand. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We constantly exploit sticky backward-compatible solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The aptitude to innovate extensibly leads to the capability to deliver micro-robustly. We usually facilitate 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Without adequate wireless 24/7/365 media sourcing, deliverables are forced to become user-centric, affiliate-based. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our networks but our ability to deploy. What does it really mean to extend "micro-mega-strategically"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our media sourcing but our power to drive. Think C2C2B. Think affiliate-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Instantly? Think super-cutting-edge. Without meticulously-planned web services, applications are forced to become short-term. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks CAD and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capability to syndicate virally leads to the capability to engage dynamically. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think 24/7. We will intensify our ability to engineer without devaluing our capacity to redefine. We will engineer the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "world-class". Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "social networks". Think customer-directed. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? Think super-ubiquitous. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be mission-critical? If you actualize virtually, you may have to synthesize micro-compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to unleash micro-interactively than to repurpose efficiently. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "innovative CAD". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to syndicate strategically. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to visualize mega-wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to seize robustly than to reinvent magnetically. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient web services and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you iterate efficiently then you may also engage cyber-intra-transparently. We will augment our capacity to empower without diminishing our aptitude to synergize. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We realize that it is better to transition robustly than to productize compellingly.