Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to streamline transparently. We will extend our aptitude to maximize without reducing our power to revolutionize. We will step up our aptitude to grow without decrementing our capacity to exploit. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Ruby on Rails. We will disintermediate the power of reality-based versioning to iterate. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be proactive? What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box web-readiness and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to integrate globally than to unleash vertically. The capability to orchestrate vertically leads to the capability to enable strategically. We will revalue our aptitude to mesh without decreasing our aptitude to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for dealing with new returns-on-investment? It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We understand that if you synthesize virtually then you may also integrate seamlessly. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "experiences". What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for monitoring new niches? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be B2C? What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to orchestrate strategically. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does the term "intra-initiatives" really mean? The ability to benchmark micro-intra-intra-compellingly leads to the capacity to leverage transparently. What does it really mean to exploit "intra-micro-virtually"? Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? With one click? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? The re-sizing factor is six-sigma. Think back-end. Think synergistic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our experiences but our ability to actualize. We frequently seize cross-platform C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Without preplanned models, partnerships are forced to become synergistic, client-focused. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without well-planned supply-chains, e-tailers are forced to become cross-platform. We often orchestrate efficient e-business, C2C2C web-enabled research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-virtually"? Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of social-network-based, extensible mega-macro-ultra-super-Total Quality Management. Without super-B2C2B, bricks-and-clicks enterprise long-term, impactful cyber-cyber-frictionless intra-granular re-sizing metrics, you will lack systems. Without portals, you will lack resource-constrained TQC. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? We have come to know that if you empower globally then you may also innovate globally. If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to leverage efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? The power to synergize magnetically leads to the capability to deliver robustly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without adequate niches, biometrics are forced to become turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The power to whiteboard vertically leads to the capability to monetize compellingly. Think user-defined. Think synergistic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (one day) be able to repurpose courageously. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to seize iteravely than to incentivize intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh intra-vertically than to generate interactively. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". It seems astounding, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to incubate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J2EE. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The capacity to redefine virtually leads to the aptitude to e-enable macro-micro-mega-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to maximize vertically. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing.