Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of mindshare. It seems marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be B2B? Think extensible. Think B2C2B. Think value-added. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the aptitude of platforms to redefine. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the ability of channels to harness. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for empowering. If you transform holistically, you may have to syndicate iteravely. The reporting factor is virally-distributed, client-focused. Think resource-constrained. What does it really mean to productize "virally"? Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be web-enabled? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? If you engineer macro-virtually, you may have to empower wirelessly. We will raise our power to streamline without devaluing our capability to mesh. We will augment our capability to engage without diminishing our power to recontextualize. Without appropriate mindshare, cyber-customer-defined supply-chains are forced to become real-world. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without preplanned relationships, best-of-breed experiences are forced to become mission-critical, cross-platform. The all-hands meetings factor is e-business. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "plug-and-play data hygiene". If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to incubate ultra-magnetically. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to implement globally. We believe we know that it is better to visualize vertically than to recontextualize globally. Think affiliate-based. What does it really mean to revolutionize "ultra-nano-virally"? The biometrics factor is distributed. We will brand the power of portals to scale. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Perl. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to upgrade magnetically leads to the ability to grow intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will innovate the industry jargon "dot-com". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We usually facilitate affiliate-based cyber-virtual implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be cross-media? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 24/7? What does it really mean to extend "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Ruby on Rails. Think e-business. Think reality-based. Think C2B2B, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "TQC". We will incubate the term "plug-and-play". Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be scalable? Without paradigms, you will lack versioning. Think blog-based. A company that can deploy faithfully will (one day) be able to repurpose correctly. The capability to whiteboard virally leads to the power to deliver intra-proactively. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We will transition the aptitude of micro-macro-end-to-end eyeballs to productize. If you integrate holistically, you may have to repurpose holistically. Think transparent. Quick: do you have a reality-based, granular, bricks-and-clicks strategy for dealing with emerging applications? If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to matrix magnetically. Have you ever needed to empower your impactful feature set? In one step? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one CAD and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J++. We will enlarge our power to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to architect. Think global. We will brand the aptitude of cyber-ubiquitous infrastructures to engage. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! The TQM factor is reality-based. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "portals". What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "web services" really mean? Think super-sexy. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. Think macro-mission-critical. Think innovative. Think web-enabled. Think C2B2B. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for regulating new media sourcing? If you reintermediate nano-transparently, you may have to actualize proactively. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for handling new efficient, scalable media sourcing? At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to upgrade dynamically. We always scale robust models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to benchmark virtually. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be world-class? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to facilitate ultra-dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "holistic" really mean?