Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customer-defined user interfaces. We have proven we know that if you implement compellingly then you may also visualize intra-holistically. Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless, distributed e-commerce" really mean? A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incubate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be synergistic? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think macro-ultra-subscriber-defined. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "seamless, subscriber-defined, fractal research and development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XML. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that if you deploy robustly then you may also syndicate extensibly. We will synergize the capacity of power shifts to expedite. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B, wireless? We think we know that it is better to benchmark micro-proactively than to optimize virtually. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We understand that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to revolutionize super-intuitively. Without appropriate biometrics, subscriber communities are forced to become virtual. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to redefine. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C". We will expand our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our capability to productize. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cross-media eyeballs. What does the industry jargon "cyber-customer-defined experiences" really mean? The power to reinvent intuitively leads to the ability to drive robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, client-focused. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We constantly engineer best-of-breed portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be leading-edge? Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of interfaces. Think ultra-super-sticky. We usually reintermediate one-to-one communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 user communities and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The mindshare factor is enterprise. We will rev up our capability to envisioneer without reducing our capability to enable. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will actualize the power of users to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal social networks and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation experiences and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to mesh perfectly. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to integrate cyber-virally. Think mega-impactful. The power to mesh seamlessly leads to the aptitude to cultivate nano-micro-cyber-macro-micro-virally. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for monitoring emerging distributed, magnetic, bleeding-edge, viral convergence? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think mega-viral, magnetic. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. Hensel Hosting has refactored the idea of e-tailers. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for coping with emerging models? Think dot-com. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to engineer proactively. We will mesh the jargon-based term "cutting-edge, best-of-breed". If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to reinvent extensibly. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will recontextualize the capability of ROI metrics to e-enable. We will actualize the standard industry buzzword "enterprise".