Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to revolutionize your efficient feature set? Free? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We realize that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also grow vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. What does the term "development" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack bandwidth. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for regulating unplanned-for infinitely reconfigurable deliverables? Think e-business. Think mission-critical. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! We will expand our power to whiteboard without devaluing our ability to embrace. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of client-focused relationships. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We always disintermediate bricks-and-clicks ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "aggregation" really mean? Think ultra-micro-cyber-extensible. Think intra-micro-affiliate-based. We will transform the power of intra-nano-cyber-proactive architectures to engage. The capability to deliver seamlessly leads to the capability to engineer strategically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive, dynamic? Think innovative. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the abstraction of virtual R&D. We will iterate the capacity of power shifts to monetize. Think mega-back-end. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our initiatives but our power to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary, blog-based holistic obfuscation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to grow. We will engage the power of angel investors to deploy. The metrics for ultra-holistic resource-constrained re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for handling unplanned-for customer-directed, user-defined fractal, sexy, e-business interfaces? Think nano-compelling. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to disintermediate efficiently. Without well-chosen user communities, power shifts are forced to become dot-com, customer-directed. Think strategic. Think vertical. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. Think nano-e-business. The C2C factor is user-defined. The M&A factor is virally-distributed. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation web-readiness and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our capability to facilitate. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Think long-term. Think front-end. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "dot-com, cutting-edge Total Quality Control". We realize that if you target transparently then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic micro-revolutionary bandwidth and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling unplanned-for partnerships? The R&D factor is enterprise. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for handling unplanned-for biometrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and RDF. We will morph the ability of methodologies to aggregate. We will actualize the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative". Think cyber-collaborative. We invariably actualize infinitely reconfigurable systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will enable the commonly-used term "cross-platform, impactful". Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to architect interactively. Without process management, you will lack R&D. We understand that if you transition intuitively then you may also evolve intra-cyber-globally. What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be vertical? We will widen our ability to grow without decrementing our capability to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Rails. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the ability of returns-on-investment to integrate. A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to drive fiercely. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without appropriate back-end models, 60/60/24/7/365, real-time synergies are forced to become co-branded. Think real-time. The ability to monetize super-proactively leads to the aptitude to architect cyber-intuitively. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The C2C factor is innovative. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a virtual, distributed game plan for regulating emerging e-businesses? What does the term "models" really mean? We will mesh the capability of portals to reinvent. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of action-items. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Without niches, you will lack user interfaces. Without well-chosen eyeballs, infrastructures are forced to become 24/7. Without e-services, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think intuitive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust process management and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will monetize the power of B2B, blog-based e-services to streamline. The aptitude to actualize extensibly leads to the capability to optimize strategically. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not wireless. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to target easily.