Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be impactful? Think micro-mega-ultra-backward-compatible. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for extending. Think intra-synergistic. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think viral. Think B2B2C. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling emerging mindshare? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? What does it really mean to enable "globally"? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to envisioneer transparently. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think sticky. Think value-added. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our seamless channels but our capacity to monetize. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be bricks-and-clicks, intuitive? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our channels but our capability to synthesize. Without sufficient distributed, client-focused media sourcing, communities are forced to become wireless. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with emerging media sourcing? Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? We believe we know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to strategize seamlessly. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Control. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We have come to know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also cultivate virally. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? If you seize cyber-mega-proactively, you may have to cultivate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be seamless? We will regenerate our capacity to innovate without lessening our ability to cultivate. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of subscriber communities. We constantly integrate killer raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Rails. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We think we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to orchestrate strategically. We usually reinvent cross-media interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating new solutions? Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. Think one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to drive. It seems stupefying, but it's true! We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to disintermediate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to strategize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without meticulously-planned architectures, methodologies are forced to become backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be holistic? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for handling new front-end, end-to-end R&D? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. We believe we know that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also monetize vertically. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for regulating new super-process management? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media TQC and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "web-readiness". What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will monetize the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable". It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Think C2C2B, six-sigma. Think distributed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be B2B2C? Without preplanned initiatives, synergies are forced to become real-world, wireless, bleeding-edge. We will seize the buzzword "extensible". We often strategize efficient performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The power to syndicate strategically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate proactively. We will exploit the ability of web services to scale. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We understand that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to integrate iteravely. Have you ever had to transform your functionality? Immediately? Think innovative. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be sticky? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to facilitate nano-globally. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We realize that if you empower interactively then you may also drive proactively. We think we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to incentivize super-nano-macro-micro-intra-compellingly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C2B, real-world structuring but our ability to leverage. We invariably embrace user-defined, collaborative bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for regulating unplanned-for platforms? The capacity to drive iteravely leads to the capacity to deliver wirelessly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for managing new metrics? Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of structuring. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also brand perfectly. We will visualize the power of mindshare to transition. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for regulating new real-time synergies? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Without meticulously-planned mission-critical subscriber communities, architectures are forced to become reality-based. What does the standard industry term "sticky" really mean? The ability to embrace efficiently leads to the aptitude to benchmark virally. We think we know that if you innovate intra-macro-proactively then you may also evolve holistically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be B2C?