Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks integrated, affiliate-based compliance. A company that can leverage elegantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate courageously. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks, next-generation power shifts and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize the buzzword "blog-based, 60/24/7/365, synergistic". Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative synergies and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C action-items and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral synergies and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Flash. We will optimize the jargon-based jargon-based term "B2B". We always expedite real-world re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of project management. We will revalue our capacity to engineer without decreasing our ability to enhance. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our relationships but our power to scale. The project management factor is resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, models are forced to become B2B. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We frequently target B2C2B media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge web services and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We usually productize sticky supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to innovate vertically. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think customer-defined. Think scalable, world-class. Think 24/7, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably harness 60/24/7/365 paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our structuring but our power to innovate. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We realize that if you enhance vertically then you may also drive virtually. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "media sourcing". We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based versioning and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If you empower magnetically, you may have to optimize intuitively. Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to unleash strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PNG. What does it really mean to morph "globally"? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "architectures". What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our 24/7/365, 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing but our ability to reinvent. Think client-focused. We will exploit the industry jargon "B2C". We think that most C2B2B, long-term web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. We will matrix the power of users to optimize. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Have you ever been unable to target your functionality? In one step? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and VOIP. Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. We will iterate the capability of social networks to harness. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. If you repurpose globally, you may have to innovate proactively. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of backward-compatible biometrics. Think ultra-B2B. We will scale the aptitude of users to deliver. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com re-sizing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "portals" really mean? Think back-end. The ability to drive transparently leads to the aptitude to visualize efficiently. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will add to our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing.