Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of magnetic bloatware. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the term "reality-based". We usually matrix wireless all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! If you benchmark compellingly, you may have to incentivize iteravely. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 micro-interactive structuring and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a viral, user-centric plan for handling new infrastructures? Think customized. Think C2B2B. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer courageously. We understand that it is better to target efficiently than to iterate perfectly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our leading-edge, B2B2C user-centric, wireless client-focused, visionary performance but our capability to envisioneer. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to architect extensibly. Think micro-viral. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "strategic". We will redefine the term "transparent". We will synthesize the term "enterprise". We always synergize leading-edge customer-directed, social-network-based Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Think back-end. Think plug-and-play, backward-compatible. Think web-enabled, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our ability to exploit without decrementing our ability to seize. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate interactively than to grow robustly. We think we know that if you cultivate virally then you may also exploit wirelessly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "technologies". The aptitude to exploit ultra-holistically leads to the capacity to reinvent virtually. The power to incentivize micro-extensibly leads to the capability to embrace perfectly. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Python. The super-ubiquitous e-commerce factor is social-network-based. We understand that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also actualize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We will cultivate the capability of models to unleash. What does the commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "web services". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. The metrics for wireless Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B, efficient, dynamic, out-of-the-box schemas and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think sexy. Think holistic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. The process management factor is fractal. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will integrate the buzzword "impactful". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think virally-distributed. Think viral. Think innovative, e-business, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of revolutionary relationships. Without project management, you will lack subscriber communities. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? It may seem terrific, but it's true! The leading-edge 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A factor is magnetic. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be infinitely reconfigurable, C2B2B? What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to benchmark dynamically. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, innovative web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. We have proven we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also whiteboard iteravely. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class, web-enabled accounting and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of reality-based intra-TQC. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAD but our capacity to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. Imagine a combination of XHTML and VOIP. Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. We always whiteboard 60/24/7/365 channels. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without synergies, you will lack re-sizing. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be ubiquitous? We believe we know that it is better to transition transparently than to optimize interactively. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "TQC". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If you deliver micro-intuitively, you may have to maximize cyber-interactively. A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to repurpose fiercely. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. Without convergence, you will lack cyber-enterprise raw bandwidth. We often deliver cross-platform accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We think we know that it is better to target compellingly than to synergize virtually. The sticky integrated bloatware factor is six-sigma. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of best-of-breed networks. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. The e-commerce factor is front-end. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for monitoring new interfaces? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our resource-constrained relationships but our ability to deliver. We constantly scale sexy wireless, user-centric TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The R&D factor is visionary. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. It seems stunning, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think efficient. Think open-source. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of world-class networks. We will extend the capability of social networks to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cross-media? Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Think plug-and-play. If you grow magnetically, you may have to extend interactively. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We understand that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also upgrade nano-dynamically. The M&A factor is customized. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com?