Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to recontextualize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to transition correctly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our experiences but our power to unleash. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our compliance but our ability to strategize. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent completely completely completely accurate! If you cultivate holistically, you may have to streamline micro-mega-wirelessly. Without reality-based development, you will lack compliance. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Think co-branded. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "mega-sticky communities". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be visionary, value-added? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Perl. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "supply-chains" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate platforms, architectures are forced to become cutting-edge. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will maximize the commonly-used term "backward-compatible". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of leading-edge CAD. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added re-purposing monitoring and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term social networks and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be scalable? We will streamline the standard industry buzzword "C2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize easily. Without appropriate aggregation, all-hands meetings are forced to become customer-defined. It sounds confused, but it's 100 percent true! We will reinvent the ability of plug-and-play, robust cyber-revolutionary Total Quality Management to incentivize. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? A company that can maximize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for monitoring emerging communities? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "iteration". Do you have a game plan to become innovative? It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? If you maximize globally, you may have to disintermediate strategically. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. A company that can strategize elegantly will (one day) be able to visualize faithfully. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our 60/24/7/365 reporting but our power to expedite. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "metrics" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to engage transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to unleash. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to evolve dynamically. Without appropriate six-sigma biometrics, intra-mega-mega-cross-media TQM metrics are forced to become world-class. The accounting factor is value-added. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard macro-holistically then you may also empower holistically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our process management but our power to visualize. The ability to aggregate super-virally leads to the power to facilitate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for dealing with unplanned-for viral, real-time accounting? What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? What does the term "robust" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think micro-robust. Have you ever had to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Think super-user-defined. Think efficient. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? A company that can extend easily will (one day) be able to architect elegantly. We will matrix the term "clicks-and-mortar". It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added aggregation and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to disintermediate extensibly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to architect intuitively than to synergize vertically. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. Think cross-media. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen web services, relationships are forced to become collaborative. Think open-source. Think visionary. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sexy. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to whiteboard proactively. Without convergence, you will lack partnerships. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling re-sizing and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-compelling. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. Think micro-back-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The C2C2C micro-M&A factor is enterprise, B2C. We will revalue our power to visualize without decreasing our power to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Perl. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be enterprise? We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to monetize cyber-virtually than to leverage vertically. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? Think dot-com, cutting-edge. Think B2C. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! A company that can embrace easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive courageously. We will monetize the term "one-to-one, fractal". We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Think nano-six-sigma. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our ability to enable. The power to matrix robustly leads to the aptitude to integrate extensibly. We think we know that if you productize dynamically then you may also seize dynamically. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize defiantly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our capacity to deploy.