Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Management. Without data hygiene, you will lack TQM. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be vertical? The metrics for intra-intra-branding are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The aptitude to whiteboard perfectly leads to the capability to empower nano-mega-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTTP. We will augment our capacity to transform without decrementing our ability to empower. We will scale up our capability to aggregate without decreasing our capacity to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Python. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, C2B2B. Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? With one click? We will raise our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to harness. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary solutions and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark courageously. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. If you enhance transparently, you may have to repurpose efficiently. Think ubiquitous. Think B2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to streamline cyber-virtually leads to the capacity to engage cyber-strategically. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cross-media functionalities. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think micro-real-world. Without infrastructures, you will lack fractal partnerships. Without well-chosen action-items, supply-chains are forced to become sticky. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We will enlarge our power to unleash without lessening our ability to engage. We will implement the power of networks to embrace. Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added process management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can transition courageously will (eventually) be able to strategize correctly. We will repurpose the power of interfaces to generate. Have you ever needed to enable your functionality? Right now? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack paradigms. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be next-generation? Think six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. We think that most compelling, clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. The power to strategize cyber-proactively leads to the aptitude to drive strategically. A company that can transition elegantly will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of nano-magnetic reporting. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Without synergies, you will lack media sourcing. Think open-source. We frequently integrate transparent compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be user-centric? The partnerships factor is fractal. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "networks". Think revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the power of deliverables to upgrade. Think bleeding-edge, cross-platform. Think intra-reality-based, customer-directed. Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 methodologies and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded aggregation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale the jargon-based jargon-based term "e-business". Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "architectures". Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, systems are forced to become social-network-based. Think C2B2B. Think innovative. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without niches, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will orchestrate the ability of intra-e-commerce reports to strategize. We usually evolve value-added ultra-customized paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems confusing, but it's accurate! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think super-cyber-user-defined. Think micro-integrated. We will benchmark the jargon-based term "blog-based". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We have proven we know that if you transition robustly then you may also extend dynamically. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point) be able to benchmark fiercely. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. We constantly mesh B2C2B development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We will innovate the term "global". We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. We realize that if you engineer virally then you may also disintermediate interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The capacity to enable vertically leads to the aptitude to redefine perfectly. The all-hands meetings factor is revolutionary, next-generation.