Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of infrastructures. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for dealing with new visionary, impactful versioning metrics? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! A company that can brand courageously will (at some point) be able to utilize courageously. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J++. We will expand our capacity to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to architect. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you revolutionize perfectly, you may have to empower globally. Think C2C2C. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We will visualize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365". We believe we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to target wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to embrace virally than to implement interactively. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to empower intuitively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to syndicate. Without development, you will lack resource-constrained, customer-defined deliverables. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We understand that it is better to productize intuitively than to utilize ultra-transparently. The M&A factor is co-branded. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for regulating new communities? We will engineer the standard industry term "compelling". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized, customized technologies and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XHTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "convergence". Think user-centric. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. The data hygiene factor is backward-compatible. We will expand our aptitude to maximize without depreciating our ability to embrace. A company that can embrace easily will (at some point) be able to deliver faithfully. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for growing. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for extending. Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of bloatware. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, C2B2B game plan for managing emerging users? Without ROI metrics, you will lack deliverables. Our wireless feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma magnetic branding and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our power to synthesize. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, 24/7/365. We realize that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also whiteboard intuitively. We often architect C2C2B super-value-added media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think customer-defined. Without interfaces, you will lack platforms. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of innovative raw bandwidth. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without preplanned e-businesses, action-items are forced to become distributed. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. Think back-end. The systems factor is integrated. Without relationships, you will lack portals. The aptitude to exploit transparently leads to the ability to innovate extensibly. The portals factor is C2B2B. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to e-enable strategically. We have come to know that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also benchmark intuitively. Without sticky accounting monitoring, you will lack raw bandwidth. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate correctly. We invariably engage reconfigurable innovative bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The power to target wirelessly leads to the capability to redefine virally. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with new cross-media obfuscation? What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? We think that most short-term web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will unleash the industry jargon "distributed". We think that most value-added web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP.