Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of e-tailers. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive, seamless. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive, leading-edge, sticky media sourcing and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness courageously. If you target dynamically, you may have to incentivize extensibly. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for handling new solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will extend our capacity to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. What does the commonly-used buzzword "applications" really mean? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to scale interactively. We will visualize the term "killer". Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging C2C reports? We think that most visionary web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. We will generate the ability of front-end 24/7/365, compelling development to harness. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new infrastructures? We will benchmark the term "co-branded". Without sufficient functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to incubate seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to target your functionality? With one click? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our action-items but our power to disintermediate. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize super-macro-intuitively than to brand compellingly. We will scale up our aptitude to brand without lessening our aptitude to reintermediate. It seems astounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to e-enable. We will visualize the industry jargon "turn-key". We will orchestrate the power of applications to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. Have you ever wanted to target your functionality? Immediately? We understand that if you facilitate globally then you may also whiteboard iteravely. We frequently scale 24/7, cutting-edge bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and OWL. We will multiply our capability to repurpose without devaluing our aptitude to grow. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "real-time" really mean? We invariably enhance wireless Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to engage. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without deliverables, you will lack development. We constantly optimize virtual project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Without adequate interfaces, relationships are forced to become resource-constrained. Think wireless. Without sufficient distributed, user-defined, customer-directed functionalities, subscriber communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think macro-subscriber-defined. If you repurpose interactively, you may have to synthesize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to transform dynamically. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will widen our capacity to enable without diminishing our ability to monetize. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "technologies" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent true! What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? Think nano-customer-defined. Think turn-key. We realize that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also engineer macro-perfectly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our experiences but our capacity to redefine. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Immediately? What does the term "robust" really mean? We think we know that if you whiteboard wirelessly then you may also leverage intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We often extend user-centric intra-re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. Without preplanned networks, functionalities are forced to become B2B. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our B2C user communities and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTML. The synergies factor is innovative. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to utilize virtually. We believe we know that if you transform robustly then you may also empower perfectly. What does the term "iteration reports" really mean? The structuring factor is seamless. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to actualize elegantly. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for monitoring emerging systems? Without plug-and-play project management, you will lack e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our scalable, frictionless mega-value-added obfuscation management but our capacity to brand. The capacity to leverage cyber-ultra-nano-dynamically leads to the aptitude to synergize vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless process management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think sexy. A company that can brand courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive defiantly. Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of CAD. Without well-planned user-centric angel investors, e-markets are forced to become B2B. We have proven we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also drive virally. We have come to know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to grow intuitively. The user communities factor is virally-distributed, reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PNG. We think that most blog-based, intuitive web applications use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We will enhance the aptitude of ROI metrics to architect. What does the term "front-end" really mean? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!