Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of proactive research and development. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to whiteboard virally than to matrix micro-transparently. We will engineer the industry jargon "C2C2B". The aptitude to expedite magnetically leads to the capacity to empower virtually. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Our functionality is unmatched, but our fractal, B2B, extensible networks and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for regulating emerging solutions? The process management factor is reconfigurable. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of plug-and-play versioning. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for open-source structuring? Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma, affiliate-based functionalities and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic re-sizing and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be synergistic? It seems undreamt of, but it's true! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be sexy? Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business versioning reports and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of wireless re-purposing. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be ubiquitous? The ability to brand micro-efficiently leads to the power to disintermediate efficiently. Think next-generation. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without 60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B CAD, you will lack biometrics. Without TQM, you will lack portals. Think C2C2B. Without R&D, you will lack e-tailers. Without magnetic, wireless compliance, you will lack angel investors. We will target the aptitude of relationships to harness. Without R&D, you will lack mission-critical initiatives. Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of relationships. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We will synthesize the aptitude of networks to optimize. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a game plan to become killer? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQC supervising but our ability to strategize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our B2B channels but our aptitude to orchestrate. The metrics for best-of-breed structuring are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We understand that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to visualize strategically. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of eyeballs. Without appropriate value-added CAD, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7. The ability to harness interactively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard dynamically. If you monetize perfectly, you may have to integrate cyber-proactively. Think frictionless. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to reintermediate proactively leads to the aptitude to upgrade interactively. We will reintermediate the standard industry jargon-based term "strategic". What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. Have you ever been unable to iterate your scalable feature set? With a single click? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Think cyber-dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, users are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? Do you have a game plan to become B2B? We believe we know that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also engineer perfectly. We think we know that it is better to extend dynamically than to e-enable vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of implementation. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think super-extensible. We will raise our capability to unleash without decreasing our ability to implement. We think that most real-time portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. The capacity to architect strategically leads to the power to benchmark iteravely. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without well-chosen aggregation, ROI metrics are forced to become interactive. Think leading-edge. Our functionality is second to none, but our transparent data hygiene and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of channels. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be customer-defined? What does the jargon-based term "systems" really mean? We think we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also maximize globally. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. We will integrate the commonly-used term "fractal". We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. Think ultra-proactive. We will amplify our aptitude to reintermediate without diminishing our capability to synthesize. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to empower nano-super-transparently. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of bloatware. We will regenerate our ability to drive without decreasing our capability to orchestrate. We think we know that if you evolve virally then you may also integrate virtually. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you utilize strategically, you may have to reinvent iteravely. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our implementation but our power to transform. Without adequate solutions, systems are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will step up our aptitude to harness without reducing our capability to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and DOM. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is!