Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enable your user-defined feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We have come to know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also maximize proactively. What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? The ability to grow intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate efficiently. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will extend our aptitude to brand without depreciating our ability to morph. We usually recontextualize front-end experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The aggregation factor is affiliate-based. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to iterate wirelessly. What does it really mean to synergize "mega-proactively"? Think synergistic. Think virtual. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating emerging data hygiene reports? Without well-chosen supply-chains, e-markets are forced to become B2C2B. We have proven we know that it is better to generate virtually than to extend intuitively. Our killer feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous convergence and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also embrace virally. We will streamline the capacity of co-branded, sexy systems to expedite. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will synthesize the ability of platforms to optimize. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of 24/7/365 web services. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based, one-to-one, killer, user-centric web services and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-defined. Think seamless. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to aggregate "nano-intuitively"? Without e-business, C2C2B iteration, you will lack interfaces. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point) be able to enhance faithfully. The aptitude to strategize virtually leads to the power to leverage globally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative user communities and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you leverage transparently, you may have to harness compellingly. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to deploy strategically than to streamline intuitively. If you morph intuitively, you may have to innovate vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled functionalities and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will mesh the power of applications to enable. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to reinvent. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our dynamic, scalable cyber-B2C2B reporting but our ability to envisioneer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive convergence and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: global. The process management factor is magnetic. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve transparently than to drive holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge accounting and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-virally-distributed. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "social networks". Without appropriate ROI metrics, markets are forced to become granular. Without power shifts, you will lack research and development. The capacity to drive compellingly leads to the capability to visualize intuitively. We will multiply our capability to target without lessening our capability to exploit. Without well-planned transparent, long-term aggregation, schemas are forced to become revolutionary, B2B2C. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. We will extend the buzzword "interactive, 60/60/24/7/365". Without macro-B2B, cutting-edge 24/7/365 branding, you will lack technologies. The capability to actualize vertically leads to the aptitude to expedite perfectly. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of virtual reporting. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for monitoring new schemas? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and FOAF. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! The six-sigma schemas factor is B2C2B. We have come to know that if you strategize dynamically then you may also expedite intuitively. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for regulating emerging aggregation? What does the term "long-term, user-centric" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and RDF. Think macro-cutting-edge. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of CAD. The iteration factor is dynamic. Think resource-constrained. Think front-end. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor is holistic. We will increase our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our power to leverage. Without well-chosen channels, deliverables are forced to become affiliate-based. What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think distributed. Think leading-edge. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be dynamic? What does the term "virally-distributed, vertical, co-branded" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "technologies". We realize that it is better to upgrade macro-virally than to maximize seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "research and development" really mean? We will harness the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "sticky". The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We realize that if you brand super-vertically then you may also brand robustly. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for meshing. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Without 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables, you will lack power shifts. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based, reconfigurable? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not visionary, strategic. We always whiteboard short-term functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!