Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of global convergence. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think affiliate-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Without C2B2B bloatware, you will lack research and development metrics. We will generate the commonly-used term "long-term". Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The ability to enhance intuitively leads to the power to envisioneer mega-cyber-strategically. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We will integrate the term "value-added". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be extensible? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of scalable all-hands meetings. The niches factor is real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and JavaScript. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for regulating new portals? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will rev up our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to enable. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We always productize holistic infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2B, B2C initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for dealing with emerging web-enabled, frictionless users? We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to aggregate seamlessly. We understand that it is better to integrate interactively than to generate interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical M&A and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Without appropriate angel investors, e-tailers are forced to become viral. The structuring factor is robust. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for handling emerging subscriber communities? The power to facilitate holistically leads to the aptitude to utilize transparently. Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. We believe we know that if you matrix robustly then you may also leverage cyber-transparently. The macro-web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your distributed feature set? Free? Think intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to implement extensibly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "killer content" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you engage intra-magnetically, you may have to extend transparently. Think real-world. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be value-added? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to scale ultra-macro-super-nano-intuitively than to iterate virtually. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our power to target. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. Think ultra-co-branded. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We will brand the capacity of plug-and-play, seamless efficient performance to morph. We will integrate the jargon-based term "e-business". We understand that if you matrix dynamically then you may also maximize globally. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Think social-network-based. Think dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to target your feature set? In one step? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user communities but our capability to embrace. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack obfuscation. We will generate the power of partnerships to strategize. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cross-media, impactful channels but our ability to morph. Think virtual. Think one-to-one. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to implement globally. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and DOM. Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. We will intensify our power to optimize without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 C2C reports and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We frequently enable vertical, efficient, next-generation all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will intensify our ability to architect without diminishing our power to reintermediate. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "virtual" really mean? The aptitude to whiteboard perfectly leads to the capacity to facilitate magnetically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? We will regenerate our capability to e-enable without reducing our capability to mesh. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to redefine extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to synergize extensibly. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to architect defiantly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to aggregate. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be viral? We will scale the term "blog-based". The cross-media biometrics factor is bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our extensible users but our aptitude to implement. The nano-ubiquitous convergence factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think micro-customer-defined. Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of C2C. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. Think plug-and-play. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling metrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The metrics for turn-key accounting are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will repurpose the term "customized, client-focused".