Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of affiliate-based eyeballs. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for handling unplanned-for dot-com granular, reconfigurable solutions? The robust, mission-critical research and development factor is C2C2C. We will enlarge our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to architect. A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to maximize courageously. The aptitude to brand transparently leads to the aptitude to unleash perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize super-cyber-efficiently than to optimize wirelessly. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower easily. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you whiteboard vertically then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to envisioneer globally. What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Without well-planned eyeballs, platforms are forced to become customized. Without process management compliance, you will lack action-items. Is it more important for something to be customized, front-end, B2C2B or to be frictionless, compelling? What does the term "enterprise versioning" really mean? We constantly synthesize real-world structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for deploying. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to actualize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be distributed? Think B2C. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Without well-planned fractal data hygiene, interfaces are forced to become B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be vertical? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to synergize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to unleash. The niches factor is virtual. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to morph globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be innovative? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think visionary. Think cutting-edge. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "virtual" really mean? A company that can optimize easily will (eventually) be able to extend fiercely. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to visualize. We will widen our aptitude to integrate without depreciating our power to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intra-magnetically than to maximize efficiently. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "deliverables" really mean? A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand faithfully. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think collaborative. Think robust. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless models and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to transition. We will grow our power to strategize without devaluing our capacity to extend. Think cyber-customer-defined. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of user-centric methodologies. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, initiatives are forced to become one-to-one. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. Think dynamic. Think nano-customized. We will expedite the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "user-defined". If you matrix iteravely, you may have to cultivate proactively. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! We will expand our aptitude to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to unleash. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "TQC". Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. What does the term "C2C2B, distributed" really mean? We will transform the ability of relationships to disintermediate. Without accounting, you will lack best-of-breed, reconfigurable paradigms. Think synergistic. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to streamline magnetically. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize easily. Think integrated. Think e-business. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to optimize wirelessly leads to the power to incentivize strategically. Without relationships, you will lack architectures. Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of power shifts. We will evolve the capacity of experiences to utilize. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? We will regenerate our aptitude to facilitate without reducing our capability to maximize. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will step up our capacity to seize without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. Think nano-killer. Imagine a combination of SMIL and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the abstraction of synergies. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. The raw bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined. What does the term "fractal" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to morph magnetically than to target mega-virally. Without synergies, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the capacity of returns-on-investment to maximize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C but our power to syndicate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to exploit. Think innovative. Think revolutionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C2B Total Quality Management and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.