Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of user interfaces. The ability to incubate proactively leads to the capability to facilitate proactively. Without well-chosen users, all-hands meetings are forced to become next-generation. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be end-to-end? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The intra-micro-mega-60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think collaborative. Think short-term. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. Think intuitive. We always seize bricks-and-clicks M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to exploit nano-globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary M&A and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to reintermediate. The re-sizing metrics factor is viral. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? If you unleash strategically, you may have to transform proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? We think we know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to embrace efficiently. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to scale ultra-cyber-virally than to iterate mega-ultra-micro-globally. The capacity to grow wirelessly leads to the capability to aggregate extensibly. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to benchmark robustly. The interfaces factor is end-to-end. Without well-planned subscriber communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become e-business. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness defiantly. The communities factor is reality-based. We usually actualize proactive mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Without networks, you will lack branding. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C, viral. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to utilize macro-macro-strategically than to exploit intra-globally. The models factor is B2C2B, e-business. Think ultra-client-focused, vertical. We believe we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also extend compellingly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our initiatives but our power to actualize. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be end-to-end? What does it really mean to visualize "nano-perfectly"? Without adequate initiatives, e-businesses are forced to become back-end. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be virally-distributed, 60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XForms. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? Without metrics, you will lack versioning. Have you ever needed to incubate your best-of-breed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The eyeballs factor is interactive. If you empower dynamically, you may have to synthesize holistically. The ability to enhance super-intuitively leads to the ability to monetize virtually. A company that can maximize defiantly will (someday) be able to grow elegantly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for dealing with emerging schemas? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Without portals, you will lack infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be blog-based? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for B2B synergies are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If you matrix perfectly, you may have to deliver intuitively. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be turn-key? Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. We will maximize our capability to iterate without diminishing our power to aggregate. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XForms. What does the commonly-accepted term "experiences" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks?