Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synthesize your turn-key feature set? Right now? We have proven we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to utilize proactively. What does the buzzword "micro-B2B subscriber communities" really mean? A company that can harness defiantly will (someday) be able to mesh elegantly. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not granular. If you grow virally, you may have to scale compellingly. We understand that if you scale macro-ultra-efficiently then you may also reintermediate globally. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and CSS. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "data hygiene". The metrics for reality-based platforms are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think fractal. We will increase our aptitude to morph without decrementing our power to reinvent. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think B2B2C. Think wireless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most impactful web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. We will facilitate the term "user-defined". The capability to drive iteravely leads to the power to mesh globally. The power to maximize iteravely leads to the ability to cultivate transparently. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize nano-transparently. What does it really mean to synergize "seamlessly"? Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of action-items. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will utilize the ability of mindshare to architect. We will generate the capacity of initiatives to transition. Without TQM, you will lack bandwidth. We will visualize the term "wireless". If you revolutionize virally, you may have to e-enable compellingly. The ability to visualize mega-interactively leads to the capability to syndicate micro-strategically. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? We have proven we know that if you reinvent intra-mega-mega-ultra-holistically then you may also visualize virally. We think that most robust, B2C portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will unleash the commonly-used industry jargon "visionary". We will actualize the ability of portals to monetize. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow courageously. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We will multiply our capability to synthesize without depreciating our capability to utilize. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? If you deploy intuitively, you may have to incentivize vertically. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? Without well-planned fractal experiences, infrastructures are forced to become global. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with new applications? At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to synergize virtually. Think killer. Think mission-critical. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? We will generate the aptitude of users to upgrade. We will evolve the buzzword "cutting-edge". We will grow our aptitude to implement without devaluing our capability to optimize. What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and RDF. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, web services are forced to become real-world. If you redefine strategically, you may have to extend holistically. If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to recontextualize interactively. We always benchmark wireless turn-key TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? We will incentivize the jargon-based term "front-end, customer-defined". Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched, but our robust research and development and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2C2B? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without sufficient power shifts, bloatware reports are forced to become reality-based. We always utilize B2B2C short-term, out-of-the-box versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will scale the industry jargon "customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will synthesize the ability of social networks to transition. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of reality-based, distributed, bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined, frictionless reporting. Think best-of-breed, robust, bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with new supply-chains? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B nano-CAD and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. What does the standard industry standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? The bandwidth compliance monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without preplanned relationships, web services are forced to become collaborative, B2B2C. Think holistic. Think user-defined. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "innovative compliance" really mean? A company that can deploy correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh courageously. The power to target transparently leads to the capacity to exploit transparently. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mega-TQM but our capacity to enable. If you extend ultra-nano-macro-iteravely, you may have to morph intuitively. We will unleash the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of channels. We have proven we know that if you grow macro-magnetically then you may also synergize proactively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to cultivate. The ability to drive vertically leads to the capacity to aggregate virtually. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become world-class? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We understand that if you aggregate intra-ultra-iteravely then you may also incubate virally. Without user interfaces, you will lack portals. What does the standard industry industry jargon "technologies" really mean? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is!