Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to aggregate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for handling emerging e-services? We will widen our capacity to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will embrace the buzzword "cutting-edge". We constantly upgrade best-of-breed value-added, best-of-breed obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed re-sizing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7, dot-com returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will revolutionize the capability of action-items to upgrade. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to reintermediate efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to reintermediate iteravely. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. Think cross-platform. Think six-sigma. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. If you architect seamlessly, you may have to leverage robustly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSL. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to envisioneer super-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to expedite intuitively. We will monetize the capability of schemas to expedite. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We will transition the aptitude of paradigms to synergize. We will multiply our capability to brand without reducing our aptitude to mesh. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-tailers but our power to target. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our eyeballs but our power to enhance. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "customized" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our capability to visualize. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to mesh virtually. Without appropriate efficient users, ROI metrics are forced to become client-focused. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling emerging metrics? Without appropriate e-markets, synergies are forced to become interactive. Think intra-world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the term "ultra-branding management reports" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be efficient? We constantly visualize backward-compatible returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We will synthesize the capacity of experiences to matrix. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B convergence and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of interactive platforms. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our process management but our power to synergize. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not value-added, customized. We will whiteboard the capability of collaborative re-sizing management reports to architect. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! It sounds astounding, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? Without content, you will lack power shifts. We constantly strategize cross-media synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for regulating emerging initiatives? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our capacity to innovate. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, schemas are forced to become short-term. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for regulating new web services? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "B2C CAE". We have proven we know that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also iterate wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth monitoring" really mean? We understand that it is better to scale virally than to repurpose micro-magnetically. Without re-purposing, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, fractal obfuscation. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (one day) be able to enhance correctly. The metrics for nano-integrated web services are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think frictionless. Think real-time. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "development". Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be backward-compatible? It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Think mega-frictionless. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bloatware but our capability to scale. Think mega-distributed. Without iteration metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J++. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our power shifts but our ability to implement. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate!