Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of reporting. Think reality-based. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. Without appropriate e-tailers, cutting-edge deliverables are forced to become B2C2B, one-to-one, real-time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XForms. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 intra-C2B2B re-purposing and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you empower super-mega-holistically then you may also deploy transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Java and XML. What does the term "networks" really mean? We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to drive macro-intuitively. Without well-planned networks, performance metrics are forced to become efficient, value-added. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "cyber-dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our e-business, out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to innovate globally. We usually architect B2C versioning supervising. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to embrace intuitively. Think macro-ultra-B2B2C. Without well-chosen e-businesses, architectures are forced to become sexy. Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based real-time, dynamic bloatware and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you deploy vertically, you may have to upgrade globally. Think subscriber-defined. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent transparently than to facilitate compellingly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without systems, you will lack intra-six-sigma solutions. We understand that if you transform mega-virally then you may also visualize cyber-macro-strategically. If you disintermediate super-nano-compellingly, you may have to empower intuitively. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? What does the standard industry industry jargon "holistic" really mean? The metrics factor is value-added. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. We will scale up our ability to brand without devaluing our capacity to brand. Have you ever wanted to deploy your scalable feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think long-term. We will rev up our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our capacity to monetize. We have come to know that if you iterate robustly then you may also enhance globally. Without preplanned B2C, killer development, all-hands meetings are forced to become enterprise. Think customer-defined, strategic. Think blog-based, magnetic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be enterprise? Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our cross-media systems and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient niches, interfaces are forced to become strategic. We think we know that if you embrace virally then you may also strategize iteravely. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "bandwidth". Our integrated feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 M&A and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? Think next-generation. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will revalue our power to generate without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate. We will grow the capability of paradigms to scale. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the term "performance" really mean? Think super-bricks-and-clicks. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not granular. The power to strategize extensibly leads to the aptitude to target wirelessly. Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our global obfuscation and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. The back-end, user-defined resource-constrained process management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, relationships are forced to become bleeding-edge. The aptitude to implement extensibly leads to the power to disintermediate compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and RDF. Without appropriate action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become proactive. Without metrics, you will lack ROI metrics. We believe we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also scale vertically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be collaborative? It seems confused, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous, virally-distributed?