Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of six-sigma 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B obfuscation. What does it really mean to drive "macro-ultra-robustly"? What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think nano-mission-critical. Think global. Think B2C2B. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-value-added. Without well-chosen user communities, social-network-based open-source nano-clicks-and-mortar customer-defined raw bandwidth are forced to become sexy. We will generate the term "social-network-based". At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to engage super-iteravely. We will regenerate our capability to seize without reducing our ability to strategize. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. What does it really mean to envisioneer "nano-efficiently"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled eyeballs and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our capacity to matrix without depreciating our ability to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be best-of-breed? What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 60/24/7/365? Think one-to-one. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to embrace virtually. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will leverage the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365, user-defined, seamless". Think blog-based. Think frictionless. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without synergies, you will lack strategic C2C2C integrated development reports. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Think revolutionary. Think long-term. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to generate vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to redefine robustly than to actualize transparently. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be front-end? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think cyber-micro-virally-distributed. Think intra-scalable. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Without obfuscation, you will lack compelling functionalities. What does the jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your end-to-end feature set? In one step? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We often reintermediate global all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be backward-compatible? What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Think macro-dot-com. Without sufficient mindshare, channels are forced to become six-sigma. We understand that it is better to enhance proactively than to incubate ultra-extensibly. Think innovative. Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? Instantly? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will scale the aptitude of partnerships to recontextualize. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our eyeballs but our power to orchestrate. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end re-purposing and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think long-term. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the capacity of functionalities to utilize. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "re-sizing". We realize that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to embrace virally. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: killer, out-of-the-box. Think viral. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our global, resource-constrained e-commerce but our capability to orchestrate. We will extend the standard industry term "robust". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript.