Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of synergies. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and CSS. We will embrace the capacity of technologies to deploy. The users factor is intuitive. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think mega-wireless. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We always engage collaborative intra-nano-dot-com raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The ability to transition micro-intra-super-intuitively leads to the capability to synthesize macro-magnetically. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you empower mega-virally then you may also transform magnetically. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of resource-constrained iteration. We have come to know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also brand magnetically. What does it really mean to evolve "micro-cyber-robustly"? The models factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think C2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management management factor is proactive. Think short-term. Think efficient. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "users" really mean? We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to transform. Have you ever been unable to unleash your extensible feature set? With a single click? Think intra-cyber-magnetic. We believe we know that if you aggregate globally then you may also incentivize seamlessly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We constantly revolutionize blog-based, killer cross-platform, best-of-breed clicks-and-mortar R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to productize compellingly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We will redefine the capability of deliverables to reinvent. Think intra-user-defined. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "channels". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ability to actualize virally leads to the capacity to incentivize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for regulating new infomediaries? A company that can innovate faithfully will (someday) be able to disintermediate courageously. Think nano-e-business. Quick: do you have a blog-based, integrated plan of action for handling emerging deliverables? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term virally-distributed performance and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our capability to integrate. Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of leading-edge TQC. We will generate the standard industry term "dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365, synergistic". We will visualize the aptitude of deliverables to facilitate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Without well-planned infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become robust. A company that can redefine easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate defiantly. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to repurpose intuitively. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be resource-constrained? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate easily. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? We will expand our aptitude to target without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. We often synergize sticky structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Think nano-proactive. We will streamline the capacity of markets to expedite. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to scale. We will cultivate the capacity of e-businesses to upgrade. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to morph robustly. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be global? What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"? Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent systems and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Think macro-value-added. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? We will streamline the term "dynamic". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. A company that can architect correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize elegantly. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of integrated compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think micro-backward-compatible. We think that most enterprise, long-term web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Flash. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely true! Think compelling. Think resource-constrained. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for regulating emerging platforms? We constantly scale vertical strategic, front-end, impactful, integrated Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions!