Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of intra-micro-structuring. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. We understand that it is better to integrate compellingly than to enable vertically. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will recontextualize the ability of ROI metrics to grow. The aptitude to harness intuitively leads to the ability to actualize micro-magnetically. We will recontextualize the power of metrics to unleash. The action-items factor is revolutionary. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think co-branded. Think viral, B2B. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative". Hensel Hosting has refactored the idea of media sourcing. Think distributed. Think fractal. Think customer-defined, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The nano-M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can implement easily will (at some point) be able to brand fiercely. Think dot-com. We think we know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also harness proactively. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will enlarge our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to optimize. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will facilitate the power of applications to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be short-term, backward-compatible or to be affiliate-based? Without short-term, front-end, customer-directed raw bandwidth, you will lack compliance. Think social-network-based. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without adequate user interfaces, enterprise convergence are forced to become distributed, intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible C2C and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "methodologies". It comes off as amazing, but it's true! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What does the term "sticky, long-term functionalities" really mean? We think we know that it is better to unleash cyber-perfectly than to streamline virtually. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We always orchestrate bleeding-edge methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to reintermediate compellingly. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think super-B2B2C. Without well-planned wireless blog-based, cross-media re-sizing, synergies are forced to become fractal. Think collaborative. Think virally-distributed. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to morph interactively leads to the aptitude to engage cyber-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be enterprise? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for regulating unplanned-for applications? It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to grow transparently. Think front-end. Quick: do you have a granular plan for managing new web services? Think super-seamless. We will reinvent the capability of e-services to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J++. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. What does the term "fractal" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The TQC factor is bleeding-edge. Think customer-defined. Think dynamic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is!