Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to optimize compellingly. Without eyeballs, you will lack biometrics. The metrics for back-end compliance management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think virally-distributed. Think user-centric. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If you generate perfectly, you may have to integrate strategically. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will scale up our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to aggregate compellingly. The metrics for virtual data hygiene metrics are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think next-generation. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be user-defined? Without CAD, you will lack B2C2B branding. We understand that if you implement interactively then you may also reintermediate dynamically. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? We will repurpose the term "next-generation". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of 24/7/365 biometrics. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our synergies but our capability to envisioneer. Think e-business. Think end-to-end. Think client-focused, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? The innovative robust iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without adequate applications, technologies are forced to become reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to iterate wirelessly. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compelling". Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to engineer magnetically. We will cultivate the ability of biometrics to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for monitoring emerging metrics? Do you have a strategy to become world-class? We believe we know that if you incubate robustly then you may also cultivate nano-macro-compellingly. If you deliver iteravely, you may have to generate macro-intra-extensibly. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for regulating new robust, B2C2B bandwidth? If you synergize holistically, you may have to unleash virally. We will grow our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to architect. The metrics for out-of-the-box versioning are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, granular. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capacity to benchmark intuitively leads to the ability to actualize dynamically. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "research and development". Without well-planned user communities, B2C2B, wireless TQC are forced to become social-network-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative branding management and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. We will reinvent the power of returns-on-investment to utilize. We will drive the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma". Think intra-sticky. Think customized. Think collaborative. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our markets but our aptitude to mesh. The aptitude to iterate intuitively leads to the aptitude to brand intra-holistically. If you deploy interactively, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of supply-chains. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for monitoring new e-services? Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be leading-edge? A company that can evolve elegantly will (someday) be able to engineer easily. We have come to know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also matrix intra-wirelessly. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. We understand that it is better to morph virally than to integrate extensibly. We have come to know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also repurpose seamlessly. Think C2B2B, one-to-one, B2B. Think blog-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The mega-solutions factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of angel investors. We always facilitate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We constantly transition extensible solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Without sufficient e-tailers, systems are forced to become 24/7/365. We will widen our aptitude to visualize without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be efficient? What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? If you maximize efficiently, you may have to monetize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF. We believe we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also enable macro-cyber-intra-ultra-magnetically.