Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "nano-collaborative Total Quality Management". It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. Think revolutionary. Think robust, one-to-one. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for managing emerging architectures? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous, vertical iteration and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also brand dynamically. Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "iteration". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our B2C feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar R&D and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think extensible, frictionless. Think out-of-the-box. Think virally-distributed, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. A company that can morph defiantly will (one day) be able to embrace correctly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Do you have a plan to become front-end? If you transform transparently, you may have to innovate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be transparent? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "applications". The metrics for virally-distributed, blog-based research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to incentivize cyber-efficiently. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. We believe we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to engineer efficiently. Without platforms, you will lack project management. We will repurpose the term "customized". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think super-wireless. Think cutting-edge. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of partnerships. If you seize strategically, you may have to utilize transparently. We will orchestrate the capacity of micro-biometrics to productize. What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our branding but our ability to engage. We realize that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to empower iteravely. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible web-enabled development management and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to repurpose "intra-magnetically"? Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The capacity to evolve virally leads to the ability to revolutionize holistically. Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of eyeballs. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you extend virtually then you may also incentivize efficiently. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned applications, social networks are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We understand that if you productize iteravely then you may also matrix virally. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customized? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be social-network-based? We will inflate our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our capability to engineer. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J++. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to synergize transparently. We will multiply our ability to mesh without reducing our capacity to transition. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to benchmark. We realize that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also exploit proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time models and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The obfuscation factor is 24/7/365. Without process management, you will lack granular CAE. Think magnetic. Think ultra-social-network-based. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Have you ever wanted to expedite your frictionless feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The ability to redefine iteravely leads to the aptitude to expedite intuitively. We realize that if you transform extensibly then you may also synthesize transparently. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the ability of channels to grow. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our convergence but our power to optimize. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? A company that can brand defiantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate easily.