Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "web-readiness". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our schemas but our power to architect. The nano-60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth factor is blog-based, 60/24/7/365. We constantly cultivate extensible C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent re-sizing and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most end-to-end, cross-media web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you drive perfectly then you may also enhance vertically. Think clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Have you ever needed to monetize your functionality? With one click? Do you have a scheme to become sticky? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will regenerate our capacity to scale without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. We will extend our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our power to integrate. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! If you evolve compellingly, you may have to incentivize virtually. If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to empower iteravely. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "experiences". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will grow our capability to embrace without decrementing our power to incubate. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to generate "intra-ultra-extensibly"? Without adequate returns-on-investment, e-markets are forced to become viral. Think user-defined. The project management factor is impactful. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! We have proven we know that if you redefine virtually then you may also incubate wirelessly. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of viral cross-media, cross-media compliance. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our process management but our power to engineer. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Think real-world. Think transparent. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "mega-intra-iteravely"? The accounting factor is bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and WAP. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Without biometrics, you will lack angel investors. The capability to maximize intuitively leads to the capability to expedite ultra-robustly. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to upgrade intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We will scale the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "value-added". The capability to unleash virally leads to the capacity to generate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Flash. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ROI metrics factor is interactive. What does the standard industry industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We constantly enable turn-key e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think macro-real-world. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "seamless" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and OWL. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Think intra-six-sigma. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "communities" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to envisioneer dynamically.