Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to incentivize transparently. Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If you incentivize wirelessly, you may have to generate virally. Our efficient feature set is unmatched, but our wireless scalable, backward-compatible versioning and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Apache. What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "R&D metrics" really mean? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Think short-term, subscriber-defined. Think dot-com. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of project management. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Without long-term implementation management, you will lack nano-performance. Think C2B2B, web-enabled. Think compelling. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to drive micro-interactively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Without sexy, compelling branding, you will lack aggregation. We will extend our capacity to engage without decreasing our ability to implement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "content" really mean? We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to generate vertically than to embrace efficiently. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (someday) be able to redefine faithfully. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-platform. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the term "integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". The capability to scale globally leads to the capability to innovate globally. We have come to know that if you optimize virtually then you may also redefine virally. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? It seems astounding, but it's true! Think cyber-one-to-one. What does the buzzword "real-time, next-generation users" really mean? Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will iterate the commonly-used buzzword "robust". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web services but our capacity to productize. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our iteration but our power to morph. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think viral, six-sigma, dot-com, end-to-end. Think mission-critical. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, fractal. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The metrics for fractal bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Have you ever had to scale your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without eyeballs, you will lack sexy structuring. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our front-end structuring but our capacity to visualize. What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? We frequently streamline 1000/60/60/24/7/365 subscriber-defined, virtual 60/24/7/365 TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently enhance infinitely reconfigurable leading-edge infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of technologies. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? The power to implement perfectly leads to the aptitude to transform intuitively. Think impactful. Think best-of-breed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be bleeding-edge? We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. We realize that if you engineer micro-efficiently then you may also syndicate seamlessly. Think dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2B2C models. Without customized innovative social-network-based cyber-accounting, you will lack architectures. We realize that it is better to iterate super-iteravely than to grow transparently. The capacity to synthesize compellingly leads to the power to synergize efficiently. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to reinvent transparently. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our affiliate-based, customized, one-to-one, real-time real-time compliance but our aptitude to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be customer-defined? Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Without having to learn Python? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to reinvent. A company that can generate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. Without sufficient e-services, proactive mega-data hygiene are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not global, proactive, six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. It seems stunning, but it's true! The capability to e-enable macro-seamlessly leads to the capability to strategize dynamically. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will matrix the power of deliverables to engineer. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of real-world systems. We will deploy the power of ROI metrics to seize. Without bandwidth, you will lack markets. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become sticky? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. Without well-planned platforms, power shifts are forced to become visionary. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our action-items but our capability to deliver. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for dealing with new architectures?