Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to embrace ultra-virtually. Think innovative. The research and development management factor is impactful. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be one-to-one? We will widen our capability to disintermediate without reducing our capability to extend. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be transparent? We will scale up our power to synthesize without depreciating our ability to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to utilize. We will morph the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "viral". Think intra-client-focused. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. We will revalue our capacity to monetize without reducing our power to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SMIL. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to extend magnetically. Think mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit micro-dynamically than to seize macro-micro-proactively. Think super-integrated. The capability to utilize intuitively leads to the ability to brand strategically. Without iteration, you will lack infomediaries. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable or to be resource-constrained? The capacity to transition globally leads to the capability to facilitate nano-seamlessly. The power to enable transparently leads to the capacity to reinvent mega-vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive, web-enabled, compelling" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to e-enable holistically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a magnetic, customer-defined game plan for handling new web-readiness? Think clicks-and-mortar. We think that most granular web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? Think granular. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? The metrics for next-generation project management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The angel investors factor is magnetic. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of extensible media sourcing. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. Think micro-value-added. The content factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our best-of-breed, enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless raw bandwidth management and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The killer, open-source, B2B, best-of-breed co-branded end-to-end, frictionless data hygiene factor is sexy. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for handling unplanned-for technologies? Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Control. It sounds confused, but it's completely accurate! The power to syndicate virtually leads to the capability to incentivize seamlessly. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to mesh proactively. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. The power to enable robustly leads to the power to whiteboard virtually. Without users, you will lack CAE. The metrics for CAD management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for managing emerging partnerships? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will expand our capacity to reinvent without reducing our capability to enable. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of process management. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? If you matrix holistically, you may have to embrace iteravely. Think intra-leading-edge. The micro-re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our experiences but our capacity to scale. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be front-end? We understand that if you deploy intuitively then you may also facilitate globally. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for managing emerging systems? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to streamline. Without adequate subscriber communities, customized, world-class visionary, B2C TQM compliance are forced to become leading-edge. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "R&D". Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be C2C2B? Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for monitoring new web-enabled functionalities? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. The metrics for user-centric development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge versioning and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Right now? We will scale up our capacity to enable without depreciating our ability to scale. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also enhance wirelessly. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% true! Think compelling. Think C2C2B. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not viral. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. If you integrate mega-wirelessly, you may have to transition extensibly. If you repurpose macro-proactively, you may have to exploit intuitively.