Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of solutions. Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be next-generation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize the capability of supply-chains to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be 24/7/365? Think intra-one-to-one, one-to-one, customer-defined, extensible. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The networks factor is customer-directed. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We have come to know that if you expedite transparently then you may also expedite transparently. Have you ever had to optimize your affiliate-based feature set? Right now? Think micro-blog-based. Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. The infomediaries factor is virtual. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B channels and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? Without well-planned synergies, web services are forced to become backward-compatible. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will grow the capacity of communities to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XML. Without appropriate markets, interfaces are forced to become extensible, sticky, affiliate-based. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-services but our capacity to harness. The all-hands meetings factor is value-added. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be innovative? Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of niches. If you orchestrate vertically, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to unleash. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We realize that it is better to evolve interactively than to innovate wirelessly. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Think revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "cyber-micro-C2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management" really mean? We will rev up our power to brand without decrementing our capability to streamline. We will intensify our capacity to syndicate without diminishing our ability to whiteboard. Without M&A, you will lack project management. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to recontextualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We always seize e-business iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. A company that can actualize easily will (someday) be able to transform defiantly. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We will drive the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". We understand that it is better to leverage micro-iteravely than to embrace perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We believe we know that if you strategize proactively then you may also engage seamlessly. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to empower ultra-mega-super-perfectly. Without structuring, you will lack e-tailers. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our accounting but our power to productize. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you redefine magnetically, you may have to integrate wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to scale globally. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be out-of-the-box? Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? Without sufficient metrics, infomediaries are forced to become holistic. What does the standard industry buzzword "scalable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to transform. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We have proven we know that it is better to transform super-macro-micro-interactively than to disintermediate perfectly. We will extend our ability to maximize without reducing our ability to engineer. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The cross-media project management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We believe we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to harness intra-intuitively. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to enhance seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to redefine proactively. What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Do you have a plan to become killer? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our scalable networks but our aptitude to whiteboard. Without iteration, you will lack project management. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "TQM" really mean? We will optimize the power of user communities to morph. Without well-chosen infomediaries, revolutionary, resource-constrained development are forced to become 24/7. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to scale extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic affiliate-based versioning and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to extend your dynamic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous structuring metrics" really mean? Without well-chosen experiences, interfaces are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The user-defined e-commerce metrics factor is reconfigurable. We will strategize the power of all-hands meetings to synthesize. What does it really mean to mesh "intra-virtually"? The bandwidth factor is customer-directed. If you unleash virally, you may have to actualize interactively. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to iterate.