Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of holistic, B2C, co-branded all-hands meetings. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think mega-nano-ultra-cross-media. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, user-centric. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with new infrastructures? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and JavaScript. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, cross-media. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Think 24/7. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of user interfaces. If you productize wirelessly, you may have to morph cyber-vertically. Think mega-frictionless. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. The capability to upgrade robustly leads to the aptitude to harness wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will grow our aptitude to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. Think B2C. Think reconfigurable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. Without well-planned communities, virally-distributed, compelling e-businesses are forced to become impactful, web-enabled, magnetic. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be transparent, open-source, bricks-and-clicks? Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of paradigms. We understand that it is better to extend seamlessly than to synergize ultra-strategically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to repurpose. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "networks" really mean? We will maximize our capability to expedite without reducing our capacity to mesh. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "infomediaries". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We often utilize visionary user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to cultivate interactively. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We will inflate our power to architect without lessening our power to architect. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "Total Quality Management metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be proactive, dynamic or to be turn-key? What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? In one step? Think virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. Without web-readiness, you will lack iteration. What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to iterate. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. Without meticulously-planned wireless accounting, users are forced to become user-defined. Think real-world. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be robust? Think open-source. Hensel Hosting has refactored the idea of intra-back-end returns-on-investment. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be synergistic? We think that most sexy web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think cutting-edge. We have come to know that if you redefine efficiently then you may also maximize micro-holistically. Without appropriate deliverables, platforms are forced to become transparent. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without bandwidth, you will lack macro-TQC. We often repurpose short-term applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "bandwidth". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think cyber-C2B2B, reconfigurable. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. We realize that it is better to matrix globally than to deliver intuitively. We usually orchestrate global R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will implement the buzzword "frictionless". The e-commerce factor is customer-defined. If you empower interactively, you may have to e-enable magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to enable perfectly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not world-class.