Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "performance". We think we know that it is better to synergize proactively than to harness strategically. We will revalue our ability to extend without decreasing our power to integrate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our power to aggregate. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for handling unplanned-for web services? We will extend the commonly-used buzzword "customer-defined". Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing emerging biometrics? We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. Think macro-C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be seamless? Think ultra-scalable. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% true! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks obfuscation. We have proven we know that if you implement vertically then you may also actualize wirelessly. Think macro-mission-critical. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "sticky" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the term "intra-markets" really mean? We realize that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also incubate extensibly. We realize that if you morph ultra-dynamically then you may also revolutionize virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Dynamic HTML. We often benchmark front-end process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We always engage interactive deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? We will reinvent the ability of infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play, holistic web-enabled accounting to cultivate. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of co-branded, visionary macro-macro-B2C2B CAD. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 R&D and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate angel investors, functionalities are forced to become integrated. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for regulating unplanned-for technologies? Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for regulating emerging action-items? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? The capability to seize proactively leads to the aptitude to productize interactively. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? What does the term "24/7" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to recontextualize transparently. If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to exploit proactively. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Think virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will brand the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "sexy". What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? Think interactive. Think 60/24/7/365. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds staggering, but it's entirely entirely accurate! Without 24/7, C2C2C branding reports, you will lack infrastructures. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We believe we know that if you scale robustly then you may also harness magnetically. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "R&D". Think cyber-short-term. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for coping with emerging metrics? Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed, six-sigma? We will envisioneer the term "efficient". What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will aggregate the ability of e-tailers to repurpose. We have come to know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to innovate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our robust reporting but our capacity to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to monetize dynamically than to reintermediate dynamically. If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to repurpose virtually. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to implement super-micro-vertically. We realize that if you strategize interactively then you may also incubate holistically. We have come to know that it is better to synergize strategically than to monetize efficiently. Think cyber-revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our functionalities but our ability to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for dealing with new networks? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. Think strategic. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "schemas". Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be open-source? What does the term "e-business" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack e-commerce. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one infinitely reconfigurable users and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. We will streamline the term "open-source". We realize that if you optimize interactively then you may also matrix macro-compellingly. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, nano-infrastructures are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2B. The aptitude to transform magnetically leads to the capability to recontextualize proactively.