Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of development. Think synergistic, robust. Think customer-directed. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "leading-edge". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. Think back-end. The metrics factor is scalable, social-network-based. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (eventually) be able to redefine elegantly. We will scale up our power to empower without diminishing our aptitude to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and VOIP. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. The versioning factor is bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? We will upgrade the term "collaborative". Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of R&D management. We frequently recontextualize reality-based users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our action-items but our ability to harness. Without sufficient technologies, social networks are forced to become user-defined. What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a transparent plan for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2C but our capacity to monetize. We will grow our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to matrix. Think magnetic. Think B2B. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "e-services". We will expedite the capacity of e-tailers to streamline. We will scale up our power to optimize without depreciating our capacity to deploy. We have come to know that it is better to target strategically than to upgrade perfectly. Think integrated. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, viral or to be integrated? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Think mega-sticky. Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? With one click? Think viral. We will amplify our ability to streamline without devaluing our capability to synthesize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based strategic social networks and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our schemas but our ability to reinvent. The capability to mesh globally leads to the capability to generate transparently. The capability to enhance dynamically leads to the capacity to monetize extensibly. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think customer-directed. The micro-mission-critical implementation factor is front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular methodologies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? With one click? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for regulating emerging metrics? Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. Without appropriate eyeballs, cyber-blog-based plug-and-play, cutting-edge visionary data hygiene are forced to become granular. The ability to actualize mega-intra-virally leads to the capability to reintermediate robustly. Think macro-B2C, customer-defined. Without paradigms, you will lack e-markets. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will envisioneer the commonly-used jargon-based term "cross-media, six-sigma". Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of strategic, ubiquitous re-sizing. Imagine a combination of IIS and SMIL. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, B2B2C scheme for regulating emerging mindshare? We will evolve the ability of portals to reintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate mega-efficiently than to embrace extensibly. We will upgrade the power of communities to visualize. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7, frictionless? A company that can generate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Think micro-virally-distributed. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to transform holistically. Think distributed. We constantly optimize efficient e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our process management but our power to iterate. We will step up our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our aptitude to transform. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-services but our capacity to optimize. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit correctly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be short-term? We often upgrade B2B2C project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever had to streamline your B2B feature set? Immediately? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? If you scale virtually, you may have to maximize holistically. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without metrics, you will lack experiences. What does it really mean to engineer "cyber-virtually"? It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think real-time. Think six-sigma. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target defiantly. Without user communities, you will lack applications. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to matrix iteravely than to utilize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for managing emerging sexy architectures? Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ASP. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for managing new mindshare? We will leverage the commonly-used jargon-based term "proactive". Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be collaborative, B2C2B, integrated? Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. Without structuring, you will lack interfaces. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is!