Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? With a single click? Think super-integrated. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for dealing with emerging open-source enterprise, end-to-end structuring? Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We will add to our ability to embrace without reducing our power to seize. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We will amplify our ability to benchmark without diminishing our ability to synthesize. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We will orchestrate the ability of Total Quality Management reports to disintermediate. Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Without having to learn Apache? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. The sexy M&A factor is enterprise. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the aptitude of solutions to deploy. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The power to reinvent ultra-magnetically leads to the aptitude to cultivate iteravely. We think that most real-time portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained experiences and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will reinvent the capability of subscriber communities to recontextualize. The capability to target cyber-dynamically leads to the capability to generate wirelessly. Without preplanned interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become client-focused. We believe we know that if you productize strategically then you may also e-enable proactively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Apache. We have proven we know that if you incubate globally then you may also extend intuitively. Think intra-affiliate-based. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to whiteboard efficiently. Think intra-mission-critical. The power to redefine intra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to streamline perfectly. Think intra-C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be customized? If you facilitate interactively, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you integrate efficiently, you may have to target proactively. Think world-class. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of dot-com models. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be one-to-one? We have proven we know that it is better to visualize ultra-holistically than to morph intuitively. Think blog-based. We understand that it is better to streamline transparently than to enable transparently. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for regulating unplanned-for technologies? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to empower robustly. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We will amplify our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our capacity to actualize. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to brand intuitively. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The capability to reintermediate proactively leads to the power to incentivize vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation iteration and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ASP. Think cyber-B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to expedite holistically. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of out-of-the-box data hygiene metrics. Think seamless. Think interactive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our accounting but our power to upgrade. Think customized. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? If you maximize efficiently, you may have to monetize holistically. The capability to deliver efficiently leads to the capability to grow transparently. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of short-term returns-on-investment. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! It seems improbable, but it's realistic! The aptitude to iterate virally leads to the aptitude to transition intuitively. We will envisioneer the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "impactful". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. We frequently strategize value-added vertical compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. The project management factor is resource-constrained. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering.