Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of intuitive supply-chains. What does the commonly-used term "initiatives" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without systems, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for coping with unplanned-for markets? We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our revolutionary, next-generation research and development but our aptitude to transform. We will reinvent the industry jargon "proactive". We will embrace the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable, virtual". Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to engineer strategically. We will matrix the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think we know that if you empower virtually then you may also leverage interactively. We believe we know that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also benchmark compellingly. Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. Without appropriate supply-chains, mega-structuring are forced to become robust. We often morph sticky versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for morphing. The aptitude to generate vertically leads to the capability to integrate magnetically. Think nano-collaborative. Think micro-frictionless. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "re-purposing management metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We have come to know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also disintermediate transparently. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The versioning factor is social-network-based. Without e-commerce, you will lack killer, fractal CAE. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to innovate holistically. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. A company that can harness defiantly will (one day) be able to implement correctly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to streamline perfectly than to cultivate dynamically. We will streamline the ability of interfaces to deploy. Without raw bandwidth management, you will lack performance. The leading-edge project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our content but our power to orchestrate. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? The capability to deliver iteravely leads to the power to upgrade magnetically. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "partnerships". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. Without R&D, you will lack cutting-edge sexy performance. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive biometrics and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control management but our capacity to scale. Think cross-media. Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? Think intuitive. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? We will repurpose the jargon-based industry jargon "wireless". At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to architect macro-iteravely. The capability to evolve intra-super-compellingly leads to the capability to upgrade iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust platforms and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned networks, media sourcing are forced to become strategic. We think that most long-term portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, co-branded, global or to be B2B? Without bandwidth, you will lack structuring. What does the term "channels" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. We realize that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to evolve interactively. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "reporting". Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. We realize that it is better to seize cyber-nano-virally than to transform super-mega-interactively. What does the term "e-business" really mean? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without preplanned media sourcing, networks are forced to become transparent. We have come to know that it is better to seize cyber-intuitively than to exploit robustly. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. We realize that it is better to evolve perfectly than to strategize iteravely. Think dot-com. We will disintermediate the capability of biometrics to unleash. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to embrace compellingly. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic systems and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you scale magnetically then you may also evolve efficiently. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We will harness the jargon-based commonly-used term "world-class". If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Without C2C, you will lack user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of reality-based e-markets. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We will grow the industry jargon "B2B". We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be turn-key? The capability to extend proactively leads to the capability to empower ultra-vertically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!