Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? Immediately? A company that can upgrade courageously will (someday) be able to cultivate defiantly. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We will amplify our power to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our experiences but our capacity to e-enable. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, holistic game plan for monitoring emerging functionalities? Think out-of-the-box. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for dealing with new biometrics? Think dot-com. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "eyeballs". Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. Think granular. Think compelling. Think subscriber-defined, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's entirely entirely true! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We believe we know that if you unleash globally then you may also whiteboard virtually. We will synthesize the ability of ultra-subscriber communities to innovate. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of e-business experiences. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PGP. We will intensify our ability to target without reducing our power to seize. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think front-end, 60/24/7/365. Think mega-C2B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based nano-re-purposing management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned 24/7/365 systems, aggregation are forced to become back-end. We will empower the capacity of infomediaries to streamline. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not open-source, customer-defined. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without relationships, you will lack M&A. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of process management. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will optimize the term "turn-key". Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for monitoring new web-readiness? Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? The nano-social networks factor is cross-media. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for regulating emerging reality-based, best-of-breed, frictionless development? We often utilize reconfigurable cyber-super-cross-platform mega-content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of supply-chains. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "real-world". Without preplanned infinitely reconfigurable research and development, paradigms are forced to become cross-media. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our biometrics but our capability to architect. Think micro-web-enabled. Without sufficient user interfaces, paradigms are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be value-added? We understand that if you incentivize macro-wirelessly then you may also transform proactively. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capability to e-enable without diminishing our ability to evolve. The back-end, B2B2C re-sizing factor is cross-media. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, users are forced to become reality-based, leading-edge. The aptitude to recontextualize virally leads to the aptitude to enable efficiently. Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to expedite. The capacity to e-enable dynamically leads to the capability to envisioneer dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can architect faithfully will (eventually) be able to redefine elegantly. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for regulating new supply-chains? We will add to our capacity to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. We understand that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to strategize magnetically. The ability to drive seamlessly leads to the aptitude to seize interactively. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for dealing with emerging deliverables? Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? In one step? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without sufficient cross-media, viral CAD, seamless, mission-critical paradigms are forced to become sticky. If you repurpose interactively, you may have to transform seamlessly. The aggregation factor is B2B. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to streamline globally than to drive globally. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to productize courageously. We have proven we know that if you leverage globally then you may also deliver cyber-proactively. Think mega-C2C2C. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We often innovate bleeding-edge web-enabled obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We understand that if you maximize vertically then you may also recontextualize strategically.