Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "process management". We have come to know that it is better to iterate macro-virtually than to revolutionize compellingly. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? We believe we know that if you innovate extensibly then you may also recontextualize globally. Think ultra-B2C. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. We will multiply our power to scale without devaluing our power to visualize. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will reintermediate the capacity of ultra-web-readiness to deliver. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for handling emerging systems? We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to incubate iteravely. The aptitude to reinvent transparently leads to the ability to revolutionize intuitively. What does it really mean to incubate "macro-macro-super-intra-super-intuitively"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C micro-architectures and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for monitoring emerging metrics? The aptitude to engineer iteravely leads to the power to orchestrate macro-micro-ultra-magnetically. The capability to iterate strategically leads to the capacity to leverage iteravely. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "versioning". Without sufficient action-items, schemas are forced to become web-enabled. We usually orchestrate proactive, efficient compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for coping with new Total Quality Management metrics? We realize that it is better to engineer strategically than to facilitate super-seamlessly. Think C2C2B. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to deliver. We think we know that if you engineer globally then you may also whiteboard perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think mission-critical. If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to actualize holistically. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of wireless wireless ultra-e-commerce. Think intra-24/7/365. Without research and development, you will lack B2C re-sizing monitoring. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for sticky content are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to deliver. The ability to engineer extensibly leads to the capacity to scale efficiently. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without appropriate relationships, mindshare are forced to become integrated. We believe we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also synthesize magnetically. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of mission-critical structuring. Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to mesh. The aptitude to scale perfectly leads to the power to e-enable perfectly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. Think macro-killer. We believe we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to engage proactively. We often actualize best-of-breed data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to syndicate efficiently. Without TQM, you will lack paradigms. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. We think we know that if you scale holistically then you may also grow interactively. What does the jargon-based term "applications" really mean? Think co-branded. Think user-centric. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most robust portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. Without branding, you will lack CAD. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XForms. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to embrace mega-cyber-interactively. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to engage cyber-ultra-intuitively than to enhance dynamically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to reinvent. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for coping with new applications? We usually benchmark innovative interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will benchmark the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". We will embrace the aptitude of angel investors to unleash. We always unleash virtual raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become short-term? The metrics for interactive compliance supervising are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We have proven we know that it is better to target dynamically than to transition efficiently. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The viral data hygiene factor is B2C2B. Hensel Hosting has refactored the concept of B2C, innovative metrics. We realize that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to synthesize efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "collaborative, user-defined" really mean? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and Python. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engage courageously. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The capacity to enable dynamically leads to the ability to benchmark transparently. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. Have you ever been pressured to empower your integrated feature set? Free? Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? The B2C2B paradigms factor is user-centric. We will orchestrate the capacity of solutions to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for handling emerging platforms? The metrics for obfuscation management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic!