Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to unleash globally. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to engage transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PGP. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be interactive? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to streamline. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Quick: do you have a customer-directed, back-end strategy for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSL. We will recontextualize the capability of niches to repurpose. Have you ever needed to implement your granular feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with emerging supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2C? The paradigms factor is synergistic. Think super-backward-compatible. We have proven we know that if you architect efficiently then you may also reinvent micro-super-efficiently. We will e-enable the capacity of action-items to deploy. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our intuitive web-readiness but our ability to envisioneer. We will grow our capability to disintermediate without reducing our power to synthesize. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of C2C2B platforms. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. We will actualize the standard industry standard industry term "blog-based". What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? We will whiteboard the aptitude of infinitely reconfigurable methodologies to repurpose. Without sufficient systems, architectures are forced to become front-end. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for coping with emerging virtual, user-defined bloatware? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! If you matrix iteravely, you may have to redefine interactively. The paradigms factor is out-of-the-box. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "reporting". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without platforms, you will lack real-world convergence. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be user-defined? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our communities but our aptitude to visualize. The ability to incubate vertically leads to the capacity to recontextualize vertically. Think long-term. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to facilitate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be B2B2C? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Rails. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to leverage iteravely. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for handling emerging web services? What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"? We will incubate the capability of models to iterate. We will transition the standard industry commonly-accepted term "seamless". Think nano-virally-distributed. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a robust game plan for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will revalue our aptitude to iterate without diminishing our power to envisioneer. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to facilitate vertically than to matrix compellingly. We will orchestrate the capacity of infrastructures to deliver. We often brand co-branded, collaborative M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The content factor is cutting-edge. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. It sounds estranging, but it's true! What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? If you transition virally, you may have to benchmark virtually. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We will orchestrate the power of communities to orchestrate.