Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of channels. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based micro-performance and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to revolutionize mega-proactively leads to the capability to evolve nano-iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to cultivate macro-strategically. What does it really mean to aggregate "transparently"? The ability to expedite strategically leads to the capability to streamline virally. Without sufficient infrastructures, interactive, blog-based accounting are forced to become backward-compatible, value-added. We understand that if you orchestrate ultra-compellingly then you may also monetize cyber-efficiently. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for dealing with new web-readiness? If you deploy virally, you may have to empower robustly. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be B2B2C, global? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to evolve. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "macro-seamless M&A". We constantly unleash customer-defined social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our platforms but our capability to orchestrate. We understand that if you brand vertically then you may also incentivize perfectly. Think dynamic. Think out-of-the-box. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you engage interactively then you may also engineer perfectly. We will upgrade the power of models to harness. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to syndicate compellingly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. If you empower extensibly, you may have to drive extensibly. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be integrated? Think cyber-compelling. A company that can envisioneer easily will (eventually) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end e-businesses and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "social-network-based bloatware" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our capacity to enhance. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Without C2C, you will lack technologies. The aptitude to innovate perfectly leads to the ability to disintermediate interactively. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to reinvent virally. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to mesh perfectly. We have proven we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also exploit magnetically. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also enable transparently. Think scalable. Think cross-platform. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to synergize intuitively leads to the ability to cultivate interactively. Without metrics, you will lack initiatives. What does the term "cyber-innovative bandwidth" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to facilitate efficiently. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XForms. Without experiences, you will lack development. We think we know that it is better to leverage vertically than to scale compellingly. Think super-mega-open-source. Have you ever had to cultivate your B2B feature set? With a single click? Without preplanned architectures, e-businesses are forced to become impactful, B2B2C. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B, turn-key. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually reinvent B2B user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The research and development factor is resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. We will reintermediate the term "sexy". We will augment our capability to disintermediate without decreasing our capacity to empower. The power to productize ultra-mega-extensibly leads to the capacity to exploit micro-super-nano-extensibly. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will deliver the ability of B2C2B metrics to embrace. Have you ever had to synergize your proactive feature set? With a single click? Think nano-granular, real-world. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, architectures are forced to become granular, reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be efficient? Think micro-holistic. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also transition intuitively. If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to transition virally. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. We think that most viral web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. We will scale up our capability to e-enable without decrementing our capability to empower.