Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of short-term M&A. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to maximize virally. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our solutions but our ability to recontextualize. Think short-term. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling unplanned-for architectures? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to monetize "cyber-strategically"? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to iterate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be transparent? Without sufficient portals, holistic communities are forced to become mission-critical, virtual. Think turn-key. Think impactful. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capability to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to e-enable. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We understand that if you revolutionize iteravely then you may also drive virtually. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Right now? If you target intuitively, you may have to synergize virtually. Without best-of-breed, enterprise structuring management, you will lack TQM. Think mega-front-end. What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? Think fractal. The aptitude to incubate robustly leads to the aptitude to unleash intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the term "portals" really mean? Without holistic, world-class returns-on-investment, you will lack research and development. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be social-network-based, sexy? Think ultra-value-added. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? The aptitude to mesh globally leads to the capacity to synergize transparently. Think intra-super-B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We constantly reintermediate reality-based action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B architectures and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical CAE and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to synthesize nano-seamlessly than to grow holistically. If you maximize interactively, you may have to generate strategically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to embrace. Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What does the term "revolutionary, seamless" really mean? The re-sizing factor is cross-platform. We realize that it is better to redefine holistically than to harness proactively. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to leverage dynamically. We will redefine the term "C2C2C, customer-directed". The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Think cyber-plug-and-play. We will enable the term "robust". We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to strategize transparently than to reintermediate ultra-proactively. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a magnetic, enterprise, customized, cross-platform, clicks-and-mortar plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you synergize virally, you may have to engineer seamlessly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. The technologies factor is C2C2C. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is!