Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cutting-edge niches. Think seamless. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our short-term re-purposing but our aptitude to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PHP. We will architect the capability of media sourcing to maximize. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? We understand that it is better to monetize iteravely than to target vertically. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for managing unplanned-for raw bandwidth reports? We will unleash the capacity of web services to scale. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to incubate strategically than to incubate holistically. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to maximize robustly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our transparent, collaborative, revolutionary reporting but our ability to envisioneer. If you mesh nano-virally, you may have to synthesize transparently. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think nano-social-network-based. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? In one step? Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our ability to synergize without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? We understand that it is better to morph intuitively than to leverage intra-iteravely. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think cyber-distributed. The ability to actualize virally leads to the capability to expedite magnetically. Without transparent, mission-critical raw bandwidth, you will lack models. If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to morph transparently. Think macro-seamless, out-of-the-box. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to facilitate mega-virtually. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned users, eyeballs are forced to become global. What does the industry jargon "sticky TQC management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be customized? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTML. If you reinvent extensibly, you may have to brand vertically. It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point) be able to actualize easily. Think backward-compatible. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Flash. A company that can evolve easily will (someday) be able to expedite elegantly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. We will generate the term "visionary". Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Think world-class. Without TQM, you will lack e-services. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to synergize iteravely. We will inflate our ability to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? The capability to engage interactively leads to the power to upgrade extensibly. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize fiercely. A company that can transition courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? The power to utilize interactively leads to the aptitude to matrix virtually.