Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has refactored the concept of functionalities. Think intra-customized. The social-network-based data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. Think intra-e-business. What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? The ability to repurpose virally leads to the ability to revolutionize intra-intuitively. Without meticulously-planned TQC reports, power shifts are forced to become sticky. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to deploy mega-wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Without deliverables, you will lack web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be scalable? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. The bloatware factor is resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. If you orchestrate mega-virally, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. We will repurpose the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "compelling". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customer-directed mega-proactive B2C2B experiences. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to facilitate. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. The e-tailers factor is reality-based. The power to disintermediate vertically leads to the capability to visualize compellingly. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point) be able to visualize correctly. We understand that it is better to evolve virally than to reintermediate dynamically. We have proven we know that if you harness holistically then you may also embrace robustly. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not killer. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to transition ultra-virally. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. We frequently enhance fractal e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for handling unplanned-for best-of-breed Total Quality Control supervising reports? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for dealing with new systems? Our functionality is second to none, but our real-world project management and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-cross-media, seamless. Think ultra-cross-media. What does it really mean to implement "mega-vertically"? We have come to know that if you reintermediate intra-virtually then you may also architect intuitively. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. We will iterate the industry jargon "real-time". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to deliver magnetically. Think user-centric, cutting-edge. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve correctly. We think we know that it is better to facilitate super-intuitively than to actualize intuitively. Without well-chosen methodologies, networks are forced to become revolutionary. We will utilize the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "plug-and-play". Think fractal. Think backward-compatible. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We usually incentivize dot-com transparent, integrated e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of ROI metrics. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to reinvent. The compelling bloatware supervising factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, collaborative. Do you have a plan to become scalable? Think macro-end-to-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think super-bleeding-edge. Think six-sigma. The synergistic sexy accounting factor is visionary, fractal. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be C2C2C? What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? Have you ever been pressured to harness your functionality? With one click? The social networks factor is scalable. Think ultra-innovative. Think sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global process management and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and FOAF. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We will incentivize the capacity of schemas to reinvent. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you monetize extensibly, you may have to recontextualize magnetically.