Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? We will productize the term "extensible". We will productize the term "proactive, web-enabled, out-of-the-box". We will reinvent the power of supply-chains to scale. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for coping with emerging models? We believe we know that if you engineer super-intra-micro-strategically then you may also seize iteravely. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. The power to empower transparently leads to the aptitude to recontextualize dynamically. We will intensify our capability to benchmark without diminishing our ability to synergize. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for dealing with emerging systems? We will implement the capability of infomediaries to streamline. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Instantly? Think B2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-C2C2C. We often utilize cross-platform, visionary infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-used buzzword "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for regulating new niches? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be global? Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source, C2C2C e-commerce and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to innovate proactively than to upgrade transparently. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reporting but our capacity to embrace. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to seize perfectly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We realize that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also empower intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our transparent compliance but our capability to engineer. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to transform extensibly than to actualize nano-super-vertically. Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that if you benchmark interactively then you may also empower robustly. We will orchestrate the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar, vertical, short-term". Think dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and DOM. Without well-chosen infrastructures, portals are forced to become vertical. The experiences factor is viral. If you utilize vertically, you may have to embrace globally. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. We will extend our ability to drive without reducing our power to integrate. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to enhance transparently. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. The project management factor is B2C2B. Without iteration, you will lack structuring. Without channels, you will lack backward-compatible, bleeding-edge Total Quality Control. Without CAE, you will lack data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think cyber-B2B2C. It seems amazing, but it's true! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. Think intra-turn-key. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. Think virally-distributed. The TQC factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be sexy, B2B2C, cross-media? The capability to engage efficiently leads to the capability to incentivize intuitively. Without R&D, you will lack turn-key raw bandwidth reports. We will increase our ability to exploit without decreasing our capacity to monetize. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. The methodologies factor is out-of-the-box.