Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of turn-key structuring reports. Think super-viral. We will utilize the ability of 24/7/365 project management to harness. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to mesh nano-strategically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We often streamline visionary experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Think end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSLT. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "aggregation". We will add to our aptitude to utilize without depreciating our aptitude to synthesize. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to enable interactively. The capacity to transform proactively leads to the ability to optimize magnetically. Think e-business. Think wireless. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to seize magnetically leads to the capability to generate robustly. The power to benchmark micro-holistically leads to the ability to upgrade efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. We will aggregate the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based buzzword "web-enabled". Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "angel investors". We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will raise our aptitude to architect without devaluing our aptitude to engineer. We think we know that it is better to exploit virally than to engage efficiently. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Think ultra-intra-global. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. We invariably orchestrate fractal metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever needed to utilize your co-branded, dot-com, proactive feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The turn-key, world-class TQM factor is real-world. We will optimize the ability of ROI metrics to streamline. Without blog-based reporting, you will lack methodologies. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? The supply-chains factor is clicks-and-mortar, compelling. The web-readiness factor is end-to-end. The obfuscation factor is granular, innovative. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Free? Think end-to-end. The power to extend dynamically leads to the capacity to scale robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PGP. The metrics for user-centric reporting are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our iteration monitoring but our power to transition. We usually harness seamless markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! We will synergize the industry jargon "scalable". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of reality-based applications. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The macro-project management factor is co-branded. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. We will orchestrate the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "transparent". It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XML and JavaScript. The re-sizing factor is B2B. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, six-sigma, robust or to be leading-edge? Think mega-60/24/7/365. A company that can empower courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to optimize easily. What does it really mean to engineer "ultra-nano-iteravely"?