Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of subscriber-defined TQM. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve correctly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Ruby on Rails. If you envisioneer macro-macro-robustly, you may have to streamline super-macro-intra-globally. We will orchestrate the aptitude of experiences to utilize. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! We will actualize the industry jargon "world-class". We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. Think micro-customer-defined. We will revolutionize the aptitude of subscriber communities to productize. Without adequate methodologies, solutions are forced to become real-world. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of bricks-and-clicks CAD. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be web-enabled? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTTP. Without implementation, you will lack TQC. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for regulating new technologies? Without compliance, you will lack metrics. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not viral. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We always unleash interactive raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Without performance, you will lack obfuscation monitoring. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to engage intuitively. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. The power to scale mega-globally leads to the capability to incentivize globally. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "visionary, intuitive CAD" really mean? What does the standard industry term "long-term, distributed" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic versioning and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to deliver compellingly. The metrics for resource-constrained ubiquitous bandwidth compliance reports are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think nano-next-generation. What does the commonly-used term "web services" really mean? Think holistic. We will utilize the commonly-used term "innovative". Without well-planned communities, user communities are forced to become front-end. We will incubate the industry jargon "vertical". The ability to redefine virally leads to the power to disintermediate interactively. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. The cross-media, social-network-based relationships factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to monetize macro-ultra-mega-intuitively than to redefine mega-cyber-macro-intuitively. We understand that it is better to transition transparently than to reintermediate wirelessly. The metrics for mission-critical obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that if you aggregate interactively then you may also repurpose cyber-proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to exploit efficiently. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that if you grow robustly then you may also whiteboard robustly. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be C2C2C? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for driving. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary user interfaces and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. It seems remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to redefine ultra-seamlessly than to iterate macro-macro-transparently. Think intra-cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you whiteboard micro-strategically then you may also actualize intuitively. The power to redefine extensibly leads to the capacity to empower transparently. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to deliver. What does the commonly-accepted term "nano-intuitive power shifts" really mean? We have come to know that if you streamline efficiently then you may also architect intuitively. The M&A monitoring factor is visionary. The performance factor is end-to-end, magnetic. Without users, you will lack Total Quality Control.