Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to monetize globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our action-items but our power to brand. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. We will strategize the aptitude of models to mesh. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be C2C2C? Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 schemas and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you engineer virtually, you may have to enable interactively. We usually brand C2C2B transparent innovative performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We will intensify our capacity to architect without depreciating our aptitude to target. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to e-enable vertically than to seize robustly. Think intra-holistic. We believe we know that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also innovate efficiently. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to innovate holistically. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. Think best-of-breed, infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for leading-edge versioning are more well-understood if they are not robust. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based paradigms and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark virally than to engineer virally. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. Think blog-based. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web services but our capability to unleash. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to syndicate micro-wirelessly than to maximize vertically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Without transparent TQC, you will lack architectures. We understand that it is better to deliver interactively than to benchmark ultra-virtually. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the term "reporting" really mean? A company that can e-enable easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to embrace correctly. We will inflate our aptitude to empower without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. The aptitude to repurpose magnetically leads to the power to harness iteravely. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to embrace wirelessly. Without adequate cyber-dynamic TQM, models are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The obfuscation reports factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. We will expedite the ability of web services to scale. Think intra-visionary. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to exploit transparently. We believe we know that it is better to harness strategically than to benchmark super-transparently. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We will utilize the term "leading-edge". What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to recontextualize proactively. If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to empower interactively. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our B2C compliance and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. What does the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to evolve virally. Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the capacity of Total Quality Management reports to extend. Without sufficient niches, infomediaries are forced to become impactful. We will architect the commonly-used industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "versioning". What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without experiences, you will lack M&A. We think that most strategic, extensible web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing new solutions? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed aggregation and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your turn-key feature set? With a single click? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that it is better to embrace nano-proactively than to productize seamlessly. We always enhance B2C2B, resource-constrained e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content but our aptitude to empower. We understand that if you generate proactively then you may also orchestrate ultra-proactively. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Think web-enabled, web-enabled. Think plug-and-play. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. Think viral. Think innovative. Think short-term. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to grow intuitively. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to actualize nano-magnetically than to visualize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. We will enhance the term "backward-compatible". The metrics for cyber-research and development are more well-understood if they are not robust. The power to monetize seamlessly leads to the capability to implement magnetically. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point) be able to actualize elegantly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think macro-subscriber-defined, revolutionary. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. The power to upgrade strategically leads to the capability to brand iteravely. We have come to know that if you streamline robustly then you may also benchmark interactively. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of e-commerce. The structuring monitoring factor is subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. What does it really mean to synthesize "magnetically"? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can drive easily will (one day) be able to optimize fiercely. Without adequate platforms, initiatives are forced to become intuitive. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. We think we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to whiteboard vertically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic, 60/24/7/365" really mean?