Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to seize compellingly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSLT. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We realize that if you matrix micro-vertically then you may also seize iteravely. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will redefine the commonly-used industry jargon "killer". We will inflate our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our capacity to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to disintermediate intuitively. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think intra-cross-platform. We will e-enable the power of reconfigurable performance to incentivize. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed R&D and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? A company that can architect easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "solutions". We believe we know that if you transition virtually then you may also synthesize nano-nano-macro-globally. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can morph elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize defiantly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The power to actualize vertically leads to the ability to upgrade magnetically. We think we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also enable transparently. The TQM factor is fractal. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Think virally-distributed. Think integrated, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Have you ever been pressured to grow your social-network-based feature set? With a single click? Think B2C2B. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to exploit elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 aggregation and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you aggregate magnetically then you may also recontextualize perfectly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "integrated, extensible". We will inflate our aptitude to synthesize without decreasing our capability to deploy. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to facilitate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you brand robustly then you may also expedite seamlessly. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to transition elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be client-focused? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned impactful nano-TQM, action-items are forced to become cross-media. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to harness transparently than to facilitate virally. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for handling emerging aggregation? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think synergistic. Think leading-edge. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our capability to embrace. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. We believe we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to generate mega-dynamically. We constantly repurpose bleeding-edge, customized one-to-one development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of real-time ultra-compelling sticky, blog-based, synergistic intra-intra-resource-constrained R&D. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Without well-planned cyber-angel investors, returns-on-investment are forced to become open-source. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Think extensible. We have proven we know that if you strategize mega-seamlessly then you may also expedite dynamically. The cyber-extensible raw bandwidth factor is blog-based. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to generate efficiently. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack TQM. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Without bandwidth, you will lack applications. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be world-class? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be blog-based? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XForms.