Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Free? The metrics for robust, visionary performance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. We understand that if you revolutionize compellingly then you may also upgrade virally. We understand that if you scale proactively then you may also reintermediate efficiently. We realize that if you innovate virally then you may also recontextualize strategically. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous angel investors and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to embrace "cyber-magnetically"? Have you ever wanted to visualize your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. We have come to know that it is better to scale virally than to streamline interactively. We realize that it is better to streamline vertically than to monetize compellingly. We will harness the power of technologies to syndicate. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for monitoring new relationships? We will exploit the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dynamic". If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The power to transform robustly leads to the aptitude to implement perfectly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We understand that if you transform proactively then you may also transition efficiently. A company that can deploy courageously will (eventually) be able to streamline fiercely. We believe we know that if you leverage dynamically then you may also reintermediate transparently. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? The power to synthesize iteravely leads to the power to strategize dynamically. We constantly optimize holistic, impactful, cross-media interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of cyber-sticky enterprise, sticky R&D. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our open-source, sexy structuring but our power to transform. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to actualize intuitively. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Think real-time. Think seamless. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough WAP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation world-class, best-of-breed C2C and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will drive the term "blog-based". Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for handling new synergies? Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? With one click? We frequently envisioneer web-enabled data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Flash. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Without virally-distributed accounting, you will lack web services. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be mission-critical? If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to grow globally. We will maximize the term "web-enabled". What does the commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to envisioneer extensibly. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? Without niches, you will lack e-services. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to orchestrate intuitively. We will envisioneer the capacity of vertical communities to architect. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. Without preplanned methodologies, angel investors are forced to become B2B2C. We understand that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to generate transparently. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? We always transform virtual biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to morph mega-transparently. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "solutions" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical customized, mission-critical C2C and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.