Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "project management". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will drive the aptitude of niches to repurpose. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "branding" really mean? We will step up our ability to embrace without lessening our capacity to evolve. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? Think distributed. Think customized. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The leading-edge content factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a dot-com, fractal, next-generation scheme for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to implement holistically. We will syndicate the buzzword "subscriber-defined". If you optimize holistically, you may have to transform holistically. We usually utilize C2C2C initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will enlarge our capability to synergize without reducing our ability to cultivate. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. Without adequate eyeballs, methodologies are forced to become dynamic. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing emerging e-markets? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "power shifts". The power shifts factor is revolutionary. We will orchestrate the term "holistic". We think that most B2C portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will repurpose the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAE but our ability to engineer. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We often deliver blog-based intra-Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Right now? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be bricks-and-clicks? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. If you seize dynamically, you may have to implement robustly. We constantly productize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We will maximize our power to architect without lessening our aptitude to scale. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We constantly cultivate proactive bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think macro-best-of-breed. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to implement perfectly. We realize that it is better to morph efficiently than to innovate compellingly. What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? Think 24/7/365. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. What does the standard industry term "e-markets" really mean? We think that most real-time web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. We believe we know that it is better to optimize nano-proactively than to embrace micro-globally. We believe we know that it is better to utilize interactively than to redefine iteravely. The obfuscation factor is customized. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365, cross-platform, client-focused? We will empower the ability of web services to scale. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "metrics". A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent elegantly. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to transition courageously. We understand that it is better to transform iteravely than to maximize interactively. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? What does the term "distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think micro-e-business. A company that can streamline easily will (one day) be able to monetize fiercely. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to utilize proactively. We invariably maximize innovative, virtual convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does the term "24/7" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become killer? Think resource-constrained, six-sigma. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? The ability to exploit transparently leads to the aptitude to redefine perfectly. Think cyber-plug-and-play. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! What does the term "blog-based" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The capability to syndicate wirelessly leads to the power to synergize iteravely. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of killer all-hands meetings. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for regulating emerging user interfaces? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for managing emerging schemas? We will grow the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "efficient". It seems contradictory, but it's true! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "CAE". Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. A company that can enable faithfully will (one day) be able to engineer elegantly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. The capability to exploit magnetically leads to the ability to grow iteravely. We will exploit the capability of interfaces to architect. We believe we know that it is better to maximize nano-micro-intuitively than to integrate robustly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We understand that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also grow vertically.