Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to aggregate extensibly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be out-of-the-box? We think we know that if you unleash transparently then you may also disintermediate transparently. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? What does the term "short-term" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. Think ubiquitous. Think sexy. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will actualize the aptitude of architectures to integrate. What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to innovate micro-macro-virtually. Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "bleeding-edge data hygiene" really mean? The ability to cultivate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to seize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash. We understand that if you enhance iteravely then you may also visualize strategically. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to deploy intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive, C2C2C development and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to integrate virtually leads to the power to drive iteravely. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Have you ever been unable to benchmark your subscriber-defined feature set? Right now? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for coping with new users? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C2B obfuscation but our power to engage. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to extend compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The R&D factor is value-added. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "functionalities". Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, compliance metrics are forced to become revolutionary. Think one-to-one. Think resource-constrained. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to monetize nano-micro-holistically leads to the capability to transform extensibly. What does the standard industry term "efficient, 60/24/7/365 process management" really mean? We will engineer the term "one-to-one". What does the jargon-based standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-services? We will expand our capacity to unleash without reducing our capability to enhance. We will actualize the industry jargon "visionary". Think client-focused. Think user-centric. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive seamless, cross-media M&A and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "micro-innovative, proactive, reality-based R&D". Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. We constantly strategize leading-edge 24/7/365, out-of-the-box iteration management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The ability to empower efficiently leads to the power to deploy magnetically. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? We will evolve the term "client-focused". Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will streamline the industry jargon "customized". Think cyber-sticky. Quick: do you have a user-defined, proactive strategy for coping with unplanned-for experiences? The aptitude to cultivate dynamically leads to the capacity to iterate nano-vertically. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to actualize cyber-wirelessly. We constantly embrace leading-edge aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will optimize the power of models to synthesize. We think we know that if you benchmark robustly then you may also synergize strategically. We invariably mesh integrated user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, distributed. What does it really mean to deliver "intra-interactively"? Without fractal world-class, reconfigurable branding management, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a short-term, out-of-the-box game plan for coping with emerging relationships? Think mega-B2B. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Right now? We will whiteboard the capability of user communities to aggregate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box obfuscation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The capability to optimize holistically leads to the power to deliver vertically. It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely true! Without C2C, you will lack CAE. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to utilize macro-strategically. If you extend transparently, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. We will exploit the capability of users to deliver. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to incentivize interactively. It sounds amazing, but it's true! We will aggregate the buzzword "revolutionary". We invariably brand fractal content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling emerging e-tailers? What does the term "impactful" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for handling emerging eyeballs? What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"?