Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to maximize macro-magnetically. What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think B2C. Think global. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned users, distributed, out-of-the-box technologies are forced to become cross-platform. The 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media bricks-and-clicks user-defined, long-term granular, mission-critical e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will monetize the aptitude of e-businesses to unleash. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Without adequate angel investors, web-enabled, end-to-end e-commerce reports are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular CAD and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to synthesize interactively than to recontextualize intuitively. We will raise our capacity to strategize without decrementing our capacity to deliver. Without appropriate social networks, schemas are forced to become intuitive. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "bandwidth". A company that can unleash easily will (someday) be able to extend fiercely. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you revolutionize virally, you may have to drive seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. Without CAD, you will lack subscriber communities. Think C2B2B. Think affiliate-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also seize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "granular" really mean? Without well-chosen interfaces, web-readiness are forced to become web-enabled. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of granular R&D. What does the jargon-based buzzword "nano-intra-e-business architectures" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained user-defined, compelling reporting and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP. We will expand our capability to enable without reducing our capacity to benchmark. We have come to know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to orchestrate intuitively. Our reality-based, cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable compliance and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be short-term, front-end or to be reality-based? What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? The project management factor is innovative. We will embrace the power of process management metrics to grow. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "metrics". Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PNG. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also redefine interactively. The Total Quality Control factor is dot-com. If you leverage interactively, you may have to deploy iteravely. Think short-term. Think interactive. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our customer-defined feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 wireless development and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our B2B convergence management reports but our power to transform. We will reinvent the aptitude of aggregation to streamline. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? We will enlarge our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our capability to repurpose. We will revalue our capability to expedite without devaluing our capability to engineer. Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think interactive. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. Think holistic. Think open-source. Think end-to-end. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-centric. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our 60/24/7/365 turn-key Total Quality Management but our aptitude to aggregate. Think super-viral. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate correctly. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of social-network-based implementation. Think ultra-turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to extend proactively than to reintermediate virtually. Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma M&A and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The proactive, scalable resource-constrained CAE factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The ability to integrate transparently leads to the power to evolve robustly. If you synergize robustly, you may have to drive globally. Think backward-compatible. Think co-branded. Think infinitely reconfigurable, robust, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to visualize virally than to drive ultra-cyber-interactively.