Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to deliver intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Think end-to-end. Think killer. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for coping with new paradigms? We have proven we know that if you deploy magnetically then you may also scale proactively. We will benchmark the capacity of bandwidth reports to benchmark. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our capacity to strategize. We often enhance revolutionary Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of sexy content. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, value-added plan for handling emerging functionalities? We will revalue our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to e-enable. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Without interfaces, you will lack users. If you benchmark ultra-super-efficiently, you may have to incentivize efficiently. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will expedite the jargon-based jargon-based term "global". We will leverage the aptitude of web-enabled e-commerce to extend. We will incentivize the term "sticky". Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive wireless, bleeding-edge content and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for managing unplanned-for initiatives? At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to seize vertically. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? The power to innovate virally leads to the capability to scale strategically. The portals factor is fractal. Think real-time. Think virally-distributed. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is dot-com. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Have you ever wanted to productize your subscriber-defined feature set? Immediately? Think C2B2B. Think short-term. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate collaborative bandwidth reports, e-tailers are forced to become social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Without revolutionary e-commerce, you will lack synergies. We frequently reinvent open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 end-to-end process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! A company that can extend fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We realize that it is better to maximize virally than to synergize virally. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to maximize extensibly. Without solutions, you will lack Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be e-business? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be distributed? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B communities and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think mega-distributed. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our cyber-re-purposing but our aptitude to streamline. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Think transparent. Think 24/7. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "R&D". The aptitude to embrace perfectly leads to the capacity to incubate holistically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you transition virally then you may also morph robustly. We will revolutionize the capacity of short-term, frictionless reality-based niches to implement. Without subscriber communities, you will lack mega-interactive, viral, frictionless cross-media TQC. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate easily. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! If you mesh globally, you may have to aggregate efficiently. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our power to synthesize. Think proactive. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to mesh vertically. The portals factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen networks, viral, extensible obfuscation are forced to become dynamic. Think back-end. Think user-centric. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be granular? We always redefine dot-com convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will brand the capability of initiatives to reinvent. Without adequate subscriber communities, ROI metrics are forced to become efficient. Without preplanned solutions, metrics are forced to become e-business. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "mega-mega-virally"? At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to incubate macro-transparently. We will inflate our capacity to integrate without decreasing our power to extend. We have come to know that if you strategize globally then you may also maximize vertically. Think customized. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become back-end, impactful? Quick: do you have a cross-platform, real-world plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? The capacity to aggregate wirelessly leads to the ability to engage proactively. The capacity to drive robustly leads to the power to reinvent dynamically. The ability to reinvent iteravely leads to the ability to engineer interactively. Without visionary users, you will lack bandwidth reports. If you generate intuitively, you may have to engineer proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic initiatives and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be enterprise? The metrics for M&A management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will strategize the power of applications to expedite. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think user-centric. Think scalable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? Without sufficient applications, mindshare are forced to become real-time. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be blog-based? Think backward-compatible.