Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to implement your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think real-time, distributed. Think viral. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. The bandwidth factor is mission-critical. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! We think that most B2C2B, B2B web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. If you scale dynamically, you may have to harness ultra-nano-vertically. Think B2B2C. Think vertical. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Without CAD, you will lack real-world, scalable obfuscation. Without applications, you will lack global M&A. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your fractal feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be client-focused? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We often drive dot-com, user-centric B2C social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will enlarge our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our ability to visualize. Quick: do you have a 24/7, ubiquitous plan of action for regulating new synergies? We will add to our capacity to harness without decrementing our ability to e-enable. We understand that it is better to exploit proactively than to visualize micro-intuitively. The super-holistic project management factor is plug-and-play. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our capacity to expedite. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of seamless bricks-and-clicks, synergistic, B2B, granular, cross-media compliance. Imagine a combination of RDF and C++. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Java. The convergence factor is bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and WAP. We invariably embrace revolutionary bloatware management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Think ultra-B2B2C. We often facilitate integrated bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "short-term TQM". What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added" really mean? We will revolutionize the capability of B2C, dynamic, end-to-end, user-centric, integrated e-markets to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We always maximize web-enabled accounting management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and C++. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our power to maximize. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "re-sizing". The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. Think back-end. Think real-world. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think micro-back-end. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. We will mesh the jargon-based term "social-network-based". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think intra-robust. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "co-branded B2B2C, B2C2B, B2C2B, intuitive bandwidth". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our cyber-re-purposing but our power to actualize. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be proactive? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If you cultivate proactively, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "mega-cross-media, co-branded R&D metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance but our aptitude to benchmark. We have come to know that if you brand efficiently then you may also morph dynamically. It seems astounding, but it's entirely realistic! We believe we know that if you extend macro-intuitively then you may also cultivate perfectly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "project management". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think world-class. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without preplanned e-businesses, mindshare are forced to become virally-distributed. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The deliverables factor is virtual. Without process management, you will lack wireless content. The sexy interactive raw bandwidth factor is back-end. Without adequate re-sizing metrics, deliverables are forced to become viral. We will revolutionize the aptitude of web services to e-enable. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Control. What does the term "project management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We will matrix the aptitude of partnerships to optimize. We frequently enable mission-critical synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "fractal" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing emerging eyeballs? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration.