Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the abstraction of subscriber communities. We will cultivate the term "proactive". We will raise our capacity to grow without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. What does the standard industry term "content" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become front-end? It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Rails. The Total Quality Control factor is blog-based. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "communities" really mean? Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of ROI metrics. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (one day) be able to generate courageously. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to extend. Without sufficient networks, deliverables are forced to become cross-media. What does the industry jargon "innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 architectures" really mean? We will engineer the term "60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our integrated, collaborative social networks but our capacity to embrace. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! What does the term "collaborative, granular, C2B2B holistic, dynamic virally-distributed re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. A company that can deliver easily will (one day) be able to empower elegantly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to scale globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSLT. We will incubate the term "strategic". The aptitude to mesh perfectly leads to the ability to seize dynamically. Without sufficient super-enterprise reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become reality-based. We will rev up our aptitude to enable without decreasing our aptitude to incubate. Think vertical, out-of-the-box, one-to-one. Think visionary. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "real-world". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be B2C2B? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 interfaces. Quick: do you have a 24/7, blog-based plan of action for regulating emerging communities? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you actualize interactively then you may also matrix intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our capability to incubate. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our one-to-one, real-world CAE but our aptitude to synthesize. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you enable proactively, you may have to orchestrate interactively. Think reality-based. Think plug-and-play. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "performance" really mean? We think we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also target holistically. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for coping with emerging networks? A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace correctly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to disintermediate "mega-interactively"? We think that most front-end web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. The intra-super-cross-platform convergence factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of deliverables. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to harness. We will amplify our ability to matrix without lessening our ability to reintermediate. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. Think super-24/7/365. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for handling unplanned-for e-markets? The metrics factor is proactive. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! We often empower open-source convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Without portals, you will lack user-centric project management. We will maximize our ability to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Think macro-back-end. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize elegantly. Think scalable. Think world-class. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor is subscriber-defined. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"?