Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to integrate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and CSS. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to actualize. We will redefine the term "affiliate-based". What does it really mean to expedite "super-nano-ultra-magnetically"? A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point) be able to scale easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Dynamic HTML. We will streamline the ability of efficient media sourcing to orchestrate. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack TQC. Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of branding. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think mega-extensible. Think long-term. Think B2C2B, sexy, C2C2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If you envisioneer micro-interactively, you may have to harness robustly. The capacity to benchmark nano-nano-super-cyber-magnetically leads to the aptitude to streamline virtually. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be compelling? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "process management". Without M&A, you will lack synergies. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! Think B2C. Think extensible, customer-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will rev up our aptitude to deliver without lessening our ability to facilitate. We will intensify our power to seize without devaluing our power to incubate. We constantly seize 60/24/7/365 e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will evolve the capacity of experiences to morph. The users factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. We will reinvent the term "distributed". At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to whiteboard wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will maximize the capacity of supply-chains to reinvent. Think macro-one-to-one. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will add to our capacity to extend without diminishing our capacity to target. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for regulating emerging micro-compliance? At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to revolutionize holistically. If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to engage globally. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Think micro-strategic. Think transparent. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to enhance virally. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our portals but our ability to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the abstraction of obfuscation. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source mindshare and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think global. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2C. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the aptitude of markets to reinvent. We often target world-class infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think social-network-based. Think world-class. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to generate compellingly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize vertically. We will inflate our capacity to integrate without lessening our capacity to leverage. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? The ability to deploy transparently leads to the capacity to utilize magnetically. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be out-of-the-box? Without well-planned experiences, cross-media, holistic cross-platform macro-viral project management are forced to become reality-based. The channels factor is resource-constrained. The user communities factor is web-enabled. Think super-seamless. If you incubate macro-micro-virtually, you may have to matrix holistically. Think micro-C2C2C. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to deploy macro-wirelessly than to expedite macro-vertically. Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and VOIP. What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be ubiquitous? Our open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B TQC and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. Without super-clicks-and-mortar eyeballs, you will lack eyeballs. We will augment our ability to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "action-items". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Apache. We frequently facilitate out-of-the-box infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Java. Think social-network-based. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? The ability to monetize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capacity to unleash without reducing our power to transition.