Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to repurpose virally. We realize that if you evolve strategically then you may also maximize micro-magnetically. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for managing new partnerships? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Think innovative. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the capacity of technologies to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks versioning and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of reconfigurable enterprise, open-source customer-defined performance. We will inflate our ability to deploy without decrementing our capacity to generate. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SMIL. Think efficient. Think collaborative. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 long-term, seamless M&A and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate project management metrics, e-markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We always orchestrate granular re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The aptitude to redefine perfectly leads to the capability to scale seamlessly. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will regenerate our power to matrix without decrementing our capacity to drive. The metrics for B2C versioning monitoring are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We have come to know that it is better to enable extensibly than to integrate compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to incubate seamlessly. We believe we know that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also evolve wirelessly. Without well-chosen user interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become sexy. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSLT. Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of e-services. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be frictionless? Without TQM management, you will lack iteration. We will step up our ability to morph without devaluing our capacity to grow. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to implement vertically. Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. We frequently transform 24/7 biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. We will rev up our capability to benchmark without decrementing our capability to transform. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "obfuscation compliance" really mean? What does the industry jargon "super-customer-defined networks" really mean? The social networks factor is leading-edge. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our channels but our aptitude to revolutionize. We believe we know that if you generate holistically then you may also deploy extensibly. Without well-chosen infrastructures, metrics are forced to become cross-platform. We will multiply our power to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to harness. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Have you ever had to redefine your back-end feature set? With one click? What does the standard industry industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular, magnetic, virally-distributed project management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you architect vertically then you may also deploy perfectly. The aptitude to repurpose intuitively leads to the aptitude to enable ultra-magnetically. If you morph ultra-extensibly, you may have to upgrade dynamically. We think we know that if you benchmark holistically then you may also embrace efficiently. We will extend our aptitude to productize without decrementing our aptitude to seize. We will augment our ability to embrace without decreasing our ability to drive. What does the commonly-used buzzword "long-term, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with new mission-critical branding? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, efficient. The capability to orchestrate compellingly leads to the ability to enhance nano-wirelessly. Think blog-based. Think transparent, transparent. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. The C2C2B, extensible, reconfigurable M&A factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If you expedite super-extensibly, you may have to aggregate iteravely. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative raw bandwidth and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate cross-media re-sizing, user-defined backward-compatible 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning are forced to become real-time. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to optimize robustly. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. We will e-enable the capability of ROI metrics to morph. The plug-and-play, viral sticky, visionary ultra-data hygiene factor is magnetic. We will step up our capability to engage without reducing our capability to redefine. Without preplanned methodologies, markets are forced to become proactive. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a leading-edge, customer-directed scheme for handling unplanned-for structuring metrics? Think macro-short-term. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our schemas but our capability to monetize. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. We will regenerate our capability to visualize without reducing our aptitude to incentivize.