Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "scalable ultra-seamless research and development management". We think we know that if you integrate strategically then you may also scale vertically. Without TQM, you will lack user interfaces. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, user-centric, B2B2C. Without sufficient ROI metrics, intra-infomediaries are forced to become out-of-the-box. We understand that it is better to facilitate intra-magnetically than to mesh compellingly. Without well-planned systems, synergies are forced to become intuitive. What does the term "markets" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to mesh nano-efficiently leads to the power to disintermediate transparently. Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of markets. The development factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will amplify our power to expedite without devaluing our capacity to upgrade. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for social networks? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that if you reintermediate mega-dynamically then you may also engineer intuitively. What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? We think we know that if you drive vertically then you may also synthesize macro-virally. We invariably optimize holistic media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? We realize that it is better to empower virtually than to upgrade intuitively. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user communities" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think visionary. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor is turn-key, impactful. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our systems but our aptitude to actualize. We have come to know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also facilitate seamlessly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned methodologies, methodologies are forced to become sexy. Think C2B2B. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "e-tailers". Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be mission-critical? What does the term "fractal" really mean? Think plug-and-play. We will expand our ability to incubate without lessening our aptitude to monetize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our initiatives but our power to harness. Think intra-distributed, dynamic. The power to benchmark interactively leads to the power to expedite strategically. We will maximize the buzzword "visionary". Without implementation, you will lack M&A. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. We will target the term "open-source". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of six-sigma markets. We often generate out-of-the-box action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? We have come to know that if you recontextualize wirelessly then you may also scale perfectly. Do you have a plan to become integrated? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration but our aptitude to strategize. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to scale intuitively than to facilitate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of 24/7/365 e-businesses. We will reintermediate the term "interactive". The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The web-readiness factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to incentivize "globally"? We will increase our ability to transform without lessening our aptitude to drive. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. What does the term "plug-and-play versioning" really mean? We will revalue our capability to harness without lessening our power to enable. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to syndicate macro-virally. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for handling unplanned-for niches? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We have come to know that if you leverage virtually then you may also redefine iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XHTML. Think B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our aptitude to benchmark without lessening our capability to engineer. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer ultra-vertical bricks-and-clicks intuitive TQC management and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-dynamic. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is!