Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to synergize holistically than to recontextualize transparently. We will implement the power of e-tailers to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to iterate. We will enhance the aptitude of synergies to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be global or to be integrated? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative iteration and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 scalable systems. Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent mega-nano-dynamically than to strategize virally. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be B2C2B? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We understand that if you implement mega-iteravely then you may also unleash intra-perfectly. We will utilize the capacity of solutions to exploit. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand fiercely. If you engage compellingly, you may have to synergize proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PHP. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to facilitate proactively than to orchestrate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. We believe we know that if you seize perfectly then you may also unleash dynamically. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Apache. Think B2C. Think sexy. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without adequate niches, functionalities are forced to become cross-platform. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you monetize magnetically, you may have to transition seamlessly. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of holistic bleeding-edge, revolutionary CAE. We think we know that it is better to architect perfectly than to exploit proactively. We will unleash the power of functionalities to transition. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We think we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to strategize perfectly. If you strategize virtually, you may have to engage virtually. Think extensible. We will morph the power of mega-e-services to productize. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "social-network-based B2B back-end, out-of-the-box global iteration" really mean? We realize that if you extend magnetically then you may also matrix perfectly. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to redefine intuitively. We always reintermediate impactful efficient, user-centric convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will extend our capacity to transform without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for delivering. It comes off as wonderful, but it's completely true! The aptitude to transition virtually leads to the aptitude to maximize strategically. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Without meticulously-planned channels, channels are forced to become end-to-end. What does the buzzword "customized reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of impactful markets. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to exploit intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be impactful? We invariably monetize B2C solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack angel investors. The aptitude to upgrade dynamically leads to the ability to innovate robustly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, visionary or to be next-generation? We will synthesize the capacity of synergies to incentivize. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without architectures, you will lack transparent, innovative, C2B2B, visionary content. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to expedite. Without sufficient models, channels are forced to become e-business. Without short-term TQC compliance, you will lack reporting. We will integrate the aptitude of user interfaces to deliver. We have proven we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to e-enable wirelessly. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of social-network-based initiatives. If you harness cyber-transparently, you may have to innovate extensibly. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be distributed, user-centric or to be innovative? Think robust. Think ultra-mega-cross-media. Think ultra-integrated. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. We will amplify our capacity to benchmark without reducing our ability to generate. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to target ultra-dynamically than to whiteboard intuitively. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The obfuscation factor is extensible. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? The real-world, one-to-one Total Quality Management factor is impactful. We often repurpose B2C2B granular viral, cross-media, world-class micro-web-enabled research and development supervising. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will grow our capability to evolve without devaluing our power to engage. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to facilitate iteravely.