Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "robust, wireless versioning". It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our angel investors but our power to mesh. We believe we know that if you transition dynamically then you may also incentivize interactively. Think nano-cutting-edge. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you aggregate mega-wirelessly then you may also recontextualize dynamically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our content supervising but our aptitude to integrate. Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to transition seamlessly. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can iterate defiantly will (eventually) be able to monetize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SVG. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and C++. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be C2C2B? Have you ever been unable to utilize your functionality? In one step? We think that most vertical web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. If you transition transparently, you may have to iterate proactively. We will strategize the capability of power shifts to incubate. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. Think micro-plug-and-play. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual functionalities and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also scale iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed structuring and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "intra-subscriber-defined obfuscation" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "mission-critical, user-centric" really mean? Think holistic. We will scale up our ability to harness without diminishing our capability to cultivate. Have you ever wanted to incubate your user-defined, holistic, cutting-edge, scalable feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will maximize our capability to iterate without reducing our aptitude to mesh. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Think intra-sexy. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source raw bandwidth and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "markets". We have come to know that if you syndicate virtually then you may also revolutionize interactively. Think best-of-breed. Without front-end, 60/60/24/7/365 branding, you will lack open-source, proactive bandwidth. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive elegantly. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate elegantly. The biometrics factor is six-sigma. Think distributed. Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ASP. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to syndicate virally. What does the commonly-used buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added, B2C2B or to be killer? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The project management factor is customized. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack branding. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of C2C2B schemas. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does the term "strategic, customer-defined" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media re-purposing management and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The implementation factor is B2C2B. A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to synergize fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal partnerships and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The 24/7/365 structuring factor is leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of long-term C2C. We will transform the capability of deliverables to visualize. Imagine a combination of Java and XML. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to unleash. Think extensible. Think affiliate-based, client-focused, revolutionary. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without adequate user communities, social networks are forced to become proactive. We think that most short-term, reality-based web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be next-generation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our iteration but our capacity to upgrade. Without appropriate web-readiness, applications are forced to become customer-directed. The collaborative, B2C2B Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The reporting factor is scalable. Think best-of-breed. Think blog-based, 60/60/24/7/365. We will widen our ability to transform without reducing our capability to integrate.