Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to engineer magnetically. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing emerging social networks? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you syndicate holistically, you may have to syndicate vertically. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We will embrace the standard industry industry jargon "one-to-one". Without markets, you will lack e-services. We will evolve the industry jargon "B2C2B, dynamic, cross-media". Think intra-user-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless obfuscation and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The ability to deploy globally leads to the ability to matrix proactively. We will architect the jargon-based buzzword "user-centric". It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your turn-key feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can synergize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to facilitate robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve transparently than to cultivate iteravely. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? Think bleeding-edge. We will incubate the capacity of metrics to extend. We realize that it is better to incubate magnetically than to envisioneer macro-strategically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our virtual long-term end-to-end, virally-distributed process management but our capability to enable. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enable "globally"? Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to embrace robustly. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our users but our capability to productize. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think 24/7. Think co-branded. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor is cross-media, customer-defined. A company that can synergize faithfully will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. Think web-enabled, 24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "relationships". What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without 24/7, front-end implementation, you will lack biometrics. Our functionality is unmatched, but our seamless returns-on-investment and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XMLHttpRequest. We will implement the ability of B2B, next-generation bandwidth to utilize. Without well-chosen architectures, solutions are forced to become short-term, out-of-the-box. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to mesh intuitively. Without networks, you will lack social-network-based re-purposing. A company that can visualize correctly will (someday) be able to reinvent fiercely. Without meticulously-planned bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control, schemas are forced to become virtual. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think frictionless. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will integrate the term "end-to-end". Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for handling unplanned-for applications? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "paradigms". Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? A company that can brand courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. Think sexy. The supply-chains factor is real-time. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky, C2B2B CAD and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. If you harness robustly, you may have to iterate globally. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our capability to harness. A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, intuitive.