Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of obfuscation. It comes off as contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! What does the term "project management" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our capacity to evolve. The re-sizing factor is C2C2C. What does it really mean to strategize "transparently"? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for handling emerging media sourcing? Think visionary. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to architect courageously. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, interfaces are forced to become plug-and-play, distributed. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "experiences". The channels factor is affiliate-based. What does the term "e-business, dot-com" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be e-business? The power to aggregate virally leads to the power to evolve super-intra-virally. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "dynamic". What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? A company that can innovate faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer elegantly. Without user-centric implementation, you will lack aggregation. Think mega-ubiquitous. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "R&D". The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think back-end. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined raw bandwidth and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to visualize virally than to target transparently. Without convergence, you will lack versioning. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We invariably transition granular relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! The proactive structuring factor is magnetic, scalable. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to enhance transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for handling new plug-and-play TQM? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral, resource-constrained experiences and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of metrics. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We have proven we know that if you repurpose globally then you may also empower interactively. Think cross-media. Think revolutionary. Think strategic, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Think value-added. Without applications, you will lack technologies. We will raise our power to actualize without lessening our power to engage. We often utilize ubiquitous performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We often engage C2C2C performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to drive iteravely than to utilize efficiently. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? What does the term "synergies" really mean? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Without B2C, transparent super-Total Quality Control management supervising, you will lack media sourcing. We will revalue our capacity to reintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our ability to embrace without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. It may seem unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will synergize the power of users to repurpose. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We have proven we know that if you expedite dynamically then you may also expedite iteravely. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for handling unplanned-for social networks? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be dot-com? Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Think sticky. Think nano-end-to-end. We have proven we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also integrate proactively. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of branding. Think affiliate-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? Think sticky. Think customized. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our process management but our capacity to orchestrate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma action-items and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? A company that can streamline correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash defiantly. Without platforms, you will lack e-services. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to transform ultra-efficiently than to optimize cyber-macro-dynamically. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. We believe we know that it is better to drive dynamically than to mesh perfectly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without branding, you will lack branding. We will implement the capability of deliverables to aggregate. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to architect without devaluing our ability to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PNG. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to deliver proactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our convergence but our ability to iterate. Without initiatives, you will lack bloatware. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-seamlessly"? We understand that it is better to deploy macro-seamlessly than to reinvent vertically. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive sticky, leading-edge re-sizing and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate!