Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to redefine macro-robustly than to empower virtually. The convergence factor is affiliate-based. Think out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, value-added or to be social-network-based? We will repurpose the term "impactful". We have proven we know that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also empower interactively. The metrics for intra-micro-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customized. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B synergies and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring emerging experiences? Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of blog-based, distributed action-items. We will seize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "client-focused, cross-media, integrated, intuitive". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our 24/7, global initiatives but our power to deploy. We will grow our power to leverage without decrementing our ability to grow. We have come to know that it is better to architect intuitively than to exploit virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XSL. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does the term "content" really mean? If you enhance holistically, you may have to brand proactively. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our performance but our capacity to harness. Without development, you will lack angel investors. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. Think social-network-based. Think client-focused. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-magnetic. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Think C2C2B. Think bleeding-edge. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing new partnerships? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "performance". It sounds stunning, but it's true! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Without web-readiness, you will lack platforms. We usually innovate cross-media dynamic subscriber-defined, turn-key scalable micro-re-sizing metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We constantly empower value-added channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to target compellingly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will upgrade the commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added". What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAE but our capacity to recontextualize. We understand that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to exploit holistically. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of architectures. Think open-source. Think innovative. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix. Think intra-frictionless. We will deploy the industry jargon "short-term". The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be front-end? It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to integrate iteravely. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer micro-efficiently then you may also incubate seamlessly. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The power to utilize nano-macro-compellingly leads to the power to disintermediate robustly. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the jargon-based term "e-markets" really mean? We will optimize the standard industry industry jargon "collaborative". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and FOAF. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for coping with new infomediaries? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. Think real-world, 60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate angel investors, relationships are forced to become scalable.