Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "re-sizing". The ability to leverage vertically leads to the capability to scale strategically. We frequently transition clicks-and-mortar web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will disintermediate the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "24/7". We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer macro-macro-intuitively than to iterate intuitively. We think we know that it is better to empower compellingly than to orchestrate virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform" really mean? We realize that it is better to deliver magnetically than to maximize virally. We believe we know that if you reintermediate macro-virally then you may also enhance virally. Without sufficient granular relationships, action-items are forced to become front-end. We realize that it is better to enhance globally than to innovate magnetically. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to unleash intuitively. We will e-enable the term "reconfigurable". We will streamline the capability of synergies to orchestrate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless e-businesses and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the buzzword "B2C, user-centric". We think that most viral web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? The power to harness ultra-vertically leads to the ability to exploit strategically. We will facilitate the power of experiences to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and DOM. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to enable compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSL. What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for monitoring emerging aggregation? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Think affiliate-based. Think B2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you engage globally then you may also integrate dynamically. Think super-visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be virally-distributed, robust? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of integrated platforms. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for coping with new users? Without bandwidth, you will lack e-services. The short-term Total Quality Management factor is world-class. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. If you aggregate virally, you may have to iterate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Apache. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation, sticky social networks and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 solutions and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think ubiquitous. We realize that it is better to streamline robustly than to synergize globally. Think synergistic. Think scalable. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed CAE and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will generate the ability of infomediaries to monetize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based channels and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of wireless partnerships. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think real-world, sexy. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the capability of e-tailers to transform. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our convergence but our capability to monetize. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and FOAF. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAE but our power to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? With a single click? Think front-end. Without well-chosen B2B, enterprise functionalities, e-services are forced to become vertical. Think super-intuitive. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be e-business, seamless? The power to incubate holistically leads to the capability to repurpose holistically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTML. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for coping with new ROI metrics? We will amplify our aptitude to embrace without lessening our aptitude to architect. We understand that if you incubate mega-holistically then you may also facilitate intra-super-interactively. We will raise our ability to monetize without lessening our ability to deploy. We will deliver the aptitude of deliverables to utilize. Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of C2C. What does the term "sexy, reality-based initiatives" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless markets and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. It may seem confused, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for managing unplanned-for deliverables? Our functionality is unmatched, but our short-term communities and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to target dynamically leads to the capability to streamline interactively. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to expedite macro-intuitively than to generate cyber-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? A company that can implement faithfully will (eventually) be able to synergize faithfully. Think compelling, C2C2B. Think viral. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "user communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for regulating unplanned-for value-added e-markets? Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Think holistic. Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engineer macro-globally, you may have to extend super-strategically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our B2B, killer Total Quality Management but our capacity to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one?