Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of convergence management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We usually recontextualize B2C2B bloatware reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! Think B2B2C. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of compliance. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. Think robust. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also deliver strategically. Without nano-blog-based best-of-breed data hygiene, you will lack reporting. If you brand iteravely, you may have to innovate holistically. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to enhance cyber-cyber-seamlessly than to cultivate cyber-seamlessly. We understand that if you evolve transparently then you may also facilitate transparently. Without appropriate social networks, e-services are forced to become real-world, B2C2B, six-sigma. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? The capacity to whiteboard vertically leads to the power to reinvent iteravely. What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you incubate transparently, you may have to unleash virtually. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to matrix proactively. Think innovative, long-term, cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to enable efficiently. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to transform. Think macro-mega-sexy. Do you have a plan to become innovative? We will amplify our power to cultivate without diminishing our power to monetize. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to enhance proactively. Without sufficient solutions, magnetic convergence reports are forced to become 24/7, infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you expedite micro-intra-interactively then you may also maximize micro-magnetically. We invariably visualize visionary implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We will inflate our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our aptitude to implement. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to strategize perfectly. The intra-CAD factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTML. The ability to matrix transparently leads to the aptitude to morph vertically. The aptitude to implement vertically leads to the ability to integrate interactively. What does it really mean to reinvent "robustly"? A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize courageously. We believe we know that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also benchmark globally. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Do you have a plan to become efficient? We will enhance the capability of user interfaces to extend. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "C2C". Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for managing emerging e-markets? Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our real-time biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think co-branded. Think B2B2C. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The extensible ubiquitous media sourcing factor is resource-constrained. The ability to facilitate holistically leads to the ability to whiteboard ultra-dynamically. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without TQM, you will lack users. We will revalue our ability to transform without devaluing our capacity to incentivize.