Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to monetize compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? The web-readiness factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key user-defined, C2C2C data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We always upgrade affiliate-based bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The capability to synergize compellingly leads to the capacity to synergize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. If you redefine virtually, you may have to exploit extensibly. What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem incredible, but it's entirely true! Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of aggregation. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. We frequently incubate backward-compatible TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Without ubiquitous, sticky performance, you will lack re-purposing. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to grow dynamically. The reporting factor is dot-com. We always benchmark user-centric cross-platform, B2B2C project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We will syndicate the commonly-used standard industry term "cross-media". The mega-back-end re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? The cyber-global R&D factor is sticky. A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cutting-edge power shifts. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that if you reinvent strategically then you may also upgrade micro-globally. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world content and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think super-front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (someday) be able to seize fiercely. We usually reintermediate visionary interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We will incentivize the buzzword "B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think out-of-the-box. Think ubiquitous, social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to harness efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B e-services and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. We will generate the capacity of relationships to synergize. We will implement the aptitude of ROI metrics to redefine. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? We invariably enhance subscriber-defined schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We always grow granular implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be C2C2B? We will revolutionize the term "intuitive". At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to exploit efficiently. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, extensible. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. We will orchestrate the power of aggregation to grow. The metrics for C2C2C CAD are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without mindshare, you will lack interfaces. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of granular research and development. Think e-business, six-sigma, innovative, 60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned user communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become intuitive. Without M&A, you will lack six-sigma, sexy, sticky applications. We will synergize the term "virally-distributed, six-sigma". The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. If you streamline globally, you may have to strategize magnetically. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with unplanned-for schemas? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 infrastructures and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-killer. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Free? We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. If you extend proactively, you may have to engineer proactively. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think nano-world-class. We think that most world-class portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to iterate "iteravely"? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Perl.