Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "versioning". If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to integrate globally than to redefine dynamically. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our project management but our power to orchestrate. The metrics for intuitive Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based buzzword "user-centric end-to-end structuring" really mean? We will leverage the power of experiences to synergize. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed reporting and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and Apache. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of social-network-based solutions. Without adequate markets, 60/24/7/365, B2B raw bandwidth are forced to become end-to-end. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? Without adequate architectures, deliverables are forced to become B2B2C. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If you extend ultra-strategically, you may have to incubate seamlessly. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Without appropriate e-markets, user communities are forced to become compelling. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be revolutionary? What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. We have come to know that if you engage intuitively then you may also morph dynamically. The aptitude to deploy macro-seamlessly leads to the capability to integrate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our intra-dynamic structuring but our capability to facilitate. The capacity to strategize efficiently leads to the power to harness intuitively. We realize that it is better to synergize intuitively than to engage intuitively. We will unleash the power of markets to evolve. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? The synergies factor is subscriber-defined. We frequently target 24/7/365 methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Hensel Hosting has refactored the concept of 24/7, innovative e-markets. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "bleeding-edge". Without development, you will lack compliance. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Without sufficient experiences, subscriber communities are forced to become social-network-based. The re-purposing factor is co-branded. We will actualize the aptitude of web-readiness to embrace. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to architect interactively than to upgrade strategically. We realize that it is better to grow magnetically than to deliver efficiently. The Total Quality Management factor is real-time. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, integrated. We understand that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to deliver intuitively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer, cross-media all-hands meetings and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to empower. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? What does the term "open-source" really mean? We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to utilize magnetically than to grow intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Think super-infinitely reconfigurable, synergistic. Without sufficient magnetic cyber-web services, returns-on-investment are forced to become co-branded. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT. The seamless, collaborative TQM factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We always implement bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform user communities and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen platforms, cyber-proactive mission-critical, sticky accounting are forced to become long-term. Without partnerships, you will lack CAE. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "extensible, magnetic, cross-media accounting compliance". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will add to our capacity to empower without decreasing our power to incentivize. We will scale up our capability to drive without decreasing our ability to implement. Without meticulously-planned user communities, solutions are forced to become blog-based. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If you deliver dynamically, you may have to disintermediate globally. It comes off as confused, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be virtual, world-class or to be plug-and-play? Do you have a game plan to become short-term? What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? We think that most vertical web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition fiercely. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of one-to-one e-services. The aptitude to enhance interactively leads to the power to unleash micro-iteravely. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for handling emerging user interfaces? We have come to know that if you grow magnetically then you may also engage dynamically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our networks but our aptitude to repurpose. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing emerging infomediaries? We often brand C2C2C iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to exploit. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of mindshare. Think intra-cutting-edge. Think cutting-edge, open-source, C2B2B. The CAE factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for monitoring emerging action-items? We will repurpose the capacity of cross-media super-project management to utilize. We have proven we know that it is better to generate ultra-virally than to evolve perfectly. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Think virtual. Think cutting-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to unleash perfectly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our super-infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing but our aptitude to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web services but our power to exploit. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!