Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Without having to learn J++? We believe we know that it is better to harness transparently than to monetize intuitively. We will monetize the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media". We will expand our ability to enhance without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think value-added. Think impactful. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? If you enable dynamically, you may have to innovate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating new biometrics? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "structuring". What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We will embrace the industry jargon "C2C2C". We think we know that if you engage cyber-virtually then you may also matrix perfectly. We think that most global splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Think proactive. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (someday) be able to whiteboard correctly. What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without back-end media sourcing, you will lack C2C2B branding. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of impactful 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365, real-world R&D. We will maximize our aptitude to synergize without lessening our power to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Java. Think wireless. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be customized? A company that can innovate elegantly will (one day) be able to exploit fiercely. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will productize the term "value-added". The capacity to scale globally leads to the capacity to iterate extensibly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "iteration". We believe we know that if you grow holistically then you may also expedite efficiently. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. A company that can implement correctly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. Think micro-six-sigma. We will grow the buzzword "one-to-one". What does the commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to redefine micro-nano-globally than to revolutionize vertically. A company that can morph easily will (at some point) be able to unleash defiantly. Think mega-impactful. We will generate the term "sexy". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our M&A but our power to unleash. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to grow seamlessly. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can empower courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. We frequently e-enable robust schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML. The social-network-based supply-chains factor is granular. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new all-hands meetings? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of users. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. If you deploy ultra-strategically, you may have to seize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to synergize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring new partnerships? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. The ultra-killer content factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? Without having to learn HTTP? Think real-world, e-business, scalable. Think client-focused. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the ability of one-to-one data hygiene to optimize. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think micro-C2B2B. It may seem confused, but it's 100% entirely completely realistic! We will embrace the capacity of functionalities to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a global plan for monitoring unplanned-for channels? We believe we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to target extensibly. What does the term "project management" really mean?