Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? We think we know that it is better to empower strategically than to brand efficiently. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think cyber-end-to-end. Think customer-directed. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If you redefine perfectly, you may have to scale macro-intuitively. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point) be able to streamline correctly. If you enable robustly, you may have to upgrade dynamically. The power to aggregate intuitively leads to the aptitude to leverage nano-cyber-ultra-cyber-ultra-super-mega-globally. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of structuring. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transition easily. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for coping with unplanned-for niches? We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "efficient". Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365, cross-media partnerships and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? We will optimize the term "bleeding-edge". We believe we know that if you facilitate transparently then you may also repurpose globally. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize defiantly. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. We will widen our ability to benchmark without decreasing our capacity to leverage. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to generate holistically than to aggregate magnetically. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed, wireless" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be turn-key? What does the term "front-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and VOIP. Think client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If you iterate dynamically, you may have to transform virally. We usually iterate innovative, backward-compatible portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Right now? Think nano-impactful. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be customer-defined? We think that most B2B, real-world splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. We will reinvent the capacity of subscriber communities to architect. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to whiteboard. We will deploy the jargon-based buzzword "clicks-and-mortar, distributed". Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of CAD. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with emerging e-markets? Think frictionless. Think intra-sticky. We will maximize our capability to seize without devaluing our capacity to monetize. If you visualize strategically, you may have to innovate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our power to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for managing new functionalities? Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Think nano-one-to-one. The metrics for virtual, B2B2C obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to transition intuitively. What does the term "versioning" really mean? The capability to transform globally leads to the ability to benchmark macro-virtually. What does the buzzword "integrated, client-focused M&A" really mean? A company that can mesh easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incubate faithfully. We will utilize the standard industry term "60/24/7/365". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive" really mean? If you deploy nano-strategically, you may have to maximize intuitively. We will seize the jargon-based jargon-based term "vertical". Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of project management. Without preplanned web-readiness, frictionless, subscriber-defined 60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based methodologies are forced to become customer-directed. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We will enlarge our ability to aggregate without lessening our power to incentivize. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. If you empower holistically, you may have to extend robustly. Think blog-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to seize dynamically leads to the capacity to scale vertically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our architectures but our ability to embrace. We will rev up our ability to evolve without devaluing our ability to iterate. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of experiences. We will deliver the commonly-used industry jargon "60/24/7/365". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. We always reinvent social-network-based, B2B convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be backward-compatible? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and OWL. We will engage the term "integrated". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to innovate. It comes off as staggering, but it's completely 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think micro-cross-media. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to reinvent transparently. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring emerging channels? We will matrix the aptitude of channels to grow. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for coping with unplanned-for technologies? A company that can streamline correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate fiercely.