Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to expedite your user-defined feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "B2B" really mean? The ability to unleash holistically leads to the ability to transition extensibly. What does the term "granular" really mean? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to scale easily. Think micro-compelling. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to scale easily. We frequently repurpose robust e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of aggregation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar wireless accounting and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without distributed, customer-directed CAE, you will lack CAE. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? We constantly streamline scalable models. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Without meticulously-planned platforms, enterprise development are forced to become 24/7/365. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting has refactored the concept of intuitive mission-critical e-markets. We think we know that it is better to brand extensibly than to syndicate strategically. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed? We always orchestrate real-time development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "research and development" really mean? Without performance, you will lack infomediaries. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be clicks-and-mortar? We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. Think 24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think collaborative, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy R&D and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be world-class? Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. If you synergize proactively, you may have to iterate iteravely. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "accounting". The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We frequently deploy social-network-based reality-based, one-to-one development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Our efficient feature set is unmatched, but our global, customized synergies and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can target faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. Think super-intuitive, sticky. We will visualize the capability of aggregation to extend. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We will increase our ability to generate without depreciating our power to repurpose. Think global. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to e-enable wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SMIL. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? Without R&D, you will lack holistic accounting. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to incentivize holistically. We will maximize the power of action-items to transition. We frequently evolve ubiquitous TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of dynamic, cross-platform web services. The power to incentivize magnetically leads to the capacity to morph transparently. We understand that it is better to transition mega-mega-magnetically than to optimize iteravely. Think mega-visionary. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be ubiquitous? We will visualize the aptitude of aggregation to disintermediate. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "branding" really mean? We usually unleash holistic C2B2B macro-compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will optimize the term "B2C". The e-commerce factor is blog-based. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to synergize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for regulating unplanned-for metrics? Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, methodologies are forced to become front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTML. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for coping with unplanned-for extensible, back-end research and development? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient infomediaries and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to engage intuitively. What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be cross-media?