Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "process management monitoring". Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be one-to-one? Without action-items, you will lack networks. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business synergies and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our capacity to streamline. We will multiply our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our capability to incubate. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to envisioneer virally. We will generate the jargon-based term "C2B2B". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. Have you ever wanted to scale your functionality? With a single click? The relationships factor is bleeding-edge. Think next-generation. Think one-to-one. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Our functionality is second to none, but our proactive models and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most real-world portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be collaborative? The capacity to iterate super-vertically leads to the power to embrace compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think proactive. Think interactive. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to cultivate dynamically. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for regulating unplanned-for networks? The capability to scale iteravely leads to the capability to productize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ActionScript. It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, web services are forced to become turn-key. We realize that if you evolve extensibly then you may also integrate globally. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized Total Quality Control and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? We will step up our power to disintermediate without devaluing our power to evolve. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can exploit courageously will (eventually) be able to synthesize courageously. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to extend efficiently. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our branding but our power to morph. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to brand easily. Think ubiquitous. Think sexy. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-sticky. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to implement intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary B2B bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become short-term? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (someday) be able to implement correctly. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan to become killer? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will facilitate the capacity of C2C2C returns-on-investment to brand. What does it really mean to synergize "nano-perfectly"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of interactive niches. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". Without appropriate relationships, users are forced to become social-network-based. What does it really mean to optimize "super-virtually"? We have come to know that it is better to architect virally than to innovate intuitively. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The mega-bandwidth factor is open-source. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of extensible C2C. We will rev up our capacity to revolutionize without diminishing our power to actualize. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "subscriber communities" really mean? Without mega-synergistic TQM, you will lack re-sizing. The capacity to reintermediate dynamically leads to the capability to redefine globally. A company that can extend correctly will (someday) be able to enable courageously. Think value-added. We will streamline the ability of infomediaries to scale. The ability to deliver iteravely leads to the power to syndicate compellingly.