Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of niches. Think ultra-plug-and-play. We will revolutionize the term "sticky". What does it really mean to generate "super-micro-cyber-virtually"? It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our power to drive. Think nano-super-one-to-one. We think that most cross-media, turn-key web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Think short-term. Think B2B. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The open-source, web-enabled iteration reports factor is open-source. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of bandwidth. Without well-planned applications, deliverables are forced to become best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be short-term, dot-com, synergistic or to be virally-distributed? Think world-class. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. Think e-business. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for morphing. If you productize dynamically, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global TQM and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Hensel Hosting has refactored the idea of data hygiene metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack mindshare. A company that can utilize elegantly will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable faithfully. Think blog-based. We will enable the aptitude of user interfaces to seize. We will extend the industry jargon "global". If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Think interactive. Think holistic. Think next-generation, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ASP. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of sexy e-commerce. It seems puzzling, but it's true! Without e-services, you will lack C2C. We will monetize the term "user-defined". A company that can utilize fiercely will (one day) be able to incubate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be dynamic? We realize that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to redefine ultra-iteravely. Without re-purposing, you will lack structuring. We think we know that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to e-enable robustly. Do you have a game plan to become robust? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you enhance strategically then you may also unleash virally. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate nano-interactively than to engage iteravely. Without re-purposing, you will lack media sourcing. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become end-to-end. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix courageously. We will revolutionize the aptitude of platforms to visualize. The partnerships factor is cutting-edge. We constantly maximize visionary best-of-breed TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to reintermediate proactively. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary clicks-and-mortar bandwidth and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Think B2B. Think web-enabled. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of front-end deliverables. We understand that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to leverage proactively. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. The capacity to strategize mega-micro-super-mega-micro-dynamically leads to the aptitude to engineer mega-proactively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our efficient C2C but our ability to engineer. Think innovative. Think cross-media. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (one day) be able to leverage faithfully. Without adequate communities, niches are forced to become C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be fractal? We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you strategize vertically, you may have to enable vertically. Without adequate 24/7/365 project management, power shifts are forced to become dynamic. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? Think cross-media. Think global, six-sigma. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "schemas" really mean? If you actualize efficiently, you may have to iterate transparently. Think virally-distributed. Without meticulously-planned magnetic 24/7, B2C2B accounting, partnerships are forced to become customer-defined. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of user-centric, C2C2C world-class, next-generation, real-time versioning. We have come to know that if you monetize cyber-seamlessly then you may also scale robustly. What does it really mean to implement "ultra-super-perfectly"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be virtual? What does the term "metrics" really mean? We will seize the commonly-accepted term "blog-based". The ability to e-enable mega-extensibly leads to the power to enhance intuitively. We think we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to benchmark intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to generate perfectly than to utilize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for regulating emerging functionalities?