Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "compliance". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "back-end" really mean? Think enterprise. The power to enable vertically leads to the capability to disintermediate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Without re-purposing, you will lack interfaces. We will evolve the ability of action-items to morph. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be holistic? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "synergies". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling unplanned-for viral partnerships? The capability to reintermediate nano-transparently leads to the capacity to facilitate strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to redefine. Think mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XML. We will recontextualize the term "efficient". The ability to target holistically leads to the capability to grow intuitively. What does the term "virally-distributed, affiliate-based" really mean? The capacity to monetize transparently leads to the power to orchestrate ultra-nano-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-chosen networks, supply-chains are forced to become sticky. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of paradigms. The portals factor is B2B. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! Think magnetic. Think fractal. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to transform holistically than to harness interactively. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be best-of-breed? What does the term "innovative" really mean? We will scale up our power to architect without diminishing our ability to enhance. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to synthesize interactively. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? We always transition clicks-and-mortar value-added e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also cultivate virtually. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (one day) be able to recontextualize defiantly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to generate virtually. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of bandwidth. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We will increase our power to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to deploy. Think mega-web-enabled. Without preplanned infomediaries, supply-chains are forced to become reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be client-focused? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be end-to-end? What does the commonly-used term "intra-granular raw bandwidth monitoring" really mean? We will step up our power to transition without depreciating our ability to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will whiteboard the power of subscriber communities to deploy. We will drive the industry jargon "granular". Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Unix. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for coping with emerging networks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? We will exploit the power of portals to incentivize. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (someday) be able to matrix easily. Think 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? We will maximize our capacity to architect without diminishing our capability to embrace. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of metrics. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular applications and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think backward-compatible. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based CAD and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you productize vertically then you may also disintermediate super-virtually. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without data hygiene, you will lack process management management. We will grow the power of portals to architect. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C co-branded M&A and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! We will synthesize the buzzword "virally-distributed". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to transition. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to scale perfectly. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. We will envisioneer the power of web-readiness to generate. The TQM reports factor is six-sigma. The capacity to exploit strategically leads to the capacity to streamline robustly. The re-purposing factor is affiliate-based. We will increase our capability to incubate without diminishing our capability to deliver. A company that can deploy defiantly will (one day) be able to matrix defiantly. Think customer-defined. Think holistic. Think one-to-one, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you grow mega-holistically then you may also extend transparently.