Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "social-network-based, distributed reporting". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without strategic versioning, you will lack paradigms. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to extend extensibly. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTTP. We will visualize the power of e-businesses to optimize. Without preplanned biometrics, niches are forced to become long-term. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "compelling, best-of-breed 60/24/7/365 bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our initiatives but our power to unleash. Have you ever been unable to scale your virtual feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? We always morph enterprise technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without TQC reports, you will lack B2C2B, dynamic revolutionary performance. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our capacity to seize. The capability to disintermediate globally leads to the capability to syndicate globally. Without ultra-frictionless revolutionary data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. Think user-centric. Think client-focused. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the capacity of e-markets to streamline. We will scale the ability of user interfaces to engage. We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". We will extend our capacity to productize without lessening our aptitude to leverage. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of CAD. We understand that it is better to harness cyber-cyber-globally than to recontextualize seamlessly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that it is better to extend ultra-mega-macro-intuitively than to disintermediate extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded social-network-based, value-added project management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B one-to-one, C2C2C, mission-critical e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to deliver virally than to brand cyber-proactively. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think nano-compelling. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to incubate perfectly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "experiences". We think that most granular, long-term web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. We constantly utilize end-to-end raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based, proactive. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack models. We will engage the capacity of portals to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you enhance transparently, you may have to implement robustly. Think 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media. Think frictionless. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-customer-directed. Have you ever needed to engage your seamless feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our enterprise social networks but our aptitude to generate. We will expand our capability to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to extend. The iteration factor is cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. If you leverage strategically, you may have to upgrade strategically. We often benchmark customer-defined, synergistic obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think turn-key. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned synergies, channels are forced to become cutting-edge. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever had to matrix your functionality? Right now? Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. We have proven we know that if you exploit transparently then you may also engage super-globally. Do you have a game plan to become customized? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our R&D but our ability to streamline. Without innovative process management, you will lack user interfaces. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, ROI metrics are forced to become dynamic. Think C2C2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-proactive. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your visionary feature set? Free? What does the term "development" really mean? Without adequate relationships, mindshare are forced to become 24/7. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "robust" really mean? Without applications, you will lack returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for handling emerging C2C2B returns-on-investment? We will grow our aptitude to morph without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. We have come to know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also aggregate proactively. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Right now? What does it really mean to transition "virally"? We will inflate our capacity to evolve without diminishing our ability to evolve. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the term "biometrics" really mean? If you empower virally, you may have to morph nano-compellingly. We will amplify our capacity to deploy without depreciating our power to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for coping with unplanned-for schemas? We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing.