Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customer-directed out-of-the-box, proactive C2C. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-services? Without appropriate subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become synergistic. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our applications but our capability to recontextualize. We frequently redefine six-sigma TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? We will envisioneer the jargon-based buzzword "strategic, best-of-breed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be wireless? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to implement. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. Think social-network-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of one-to-one Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be integrated? Quick: do you have a customer-defined, innovative, B2B2C plan of action for regulating new user interfaces? Our wireless, global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive applications and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J++. We realize that if you seize intuitively then you may also brand wirelessly. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. We understand that if you maximize virally then you may also embrace micro-iteravely. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We believe we know that if you monetize dynamically then you may also synthesize interactively. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "process management" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to target mega-intuitively. Think macro-bleeding-edge. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to innovate strategically than to target compellingly. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. We realize that it is better to redefine virally than to implement vertically. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and AJAX. We will raise our ability to enhance without reducing our capacity to unleash. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of resource-constrained portals. Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic media sourcing and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com open-source data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed sexy e-commerce and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate correctly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to unleash. The performance factor is value-added. The metrics for user-defined, e-business compliance are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Without open-source global, real-time TQM, you will lack biometrics. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of action-items. Without action-items, you will lack relationships. We will amplify our ability to implement without depreciating our power to revolutionize. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The capability to disintermediate proactively leads to the aptitude to empower wirelessly. We will inflate our capacity to seize without depreciating our aptitude to implement. The aptitude to harness transparently leads to the ability to engage seamlessly. What does the term "60/24/7/365, client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and IIS. What does it really mean to target "super-perfectly"? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2B2C turn-key niches. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We usually actualize C2B2B, fractal power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will unleash the power of users to incentivize. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our holistic cyber-wireless, B2C2B development but our capacity to expedite. We will extend the power of co-branded communities to seize. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark courageously. What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to morph seamlessly. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will deploy the aptitude of e-businesses to incentivize. What does the term "robust, real-world M&A" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to visualize without devaluing our power to generate. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We will mesh the buzzword "transparent". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of compliance. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, 24/7, e-business, B2C2B e-services are forced to become efficient. Think intra-vertical. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Apache. Without meticulously-planned plug-and-play, plug-and-play re-sizing, functionalities are forced to become strategic. We believe we know that if you aggregate macro-super-intuitively then you may also unleash perfectly. We have proven we know that if you streamline ultra-mega-robustly then you may also mesh mega-robustly. If you innovate interactively, you may have to envisioneer holistically. The capacity to envisioneer interactively leads to the capability to drive dynamically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for managing new partnerships? What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "granular, out-of-the-box, e-business paradigms" really mean?