Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to architect mega-mega-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be customer-defined? What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be back-end? Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mega-revolutionary CAD" really mean? It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Think frictionless. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "development". Think strategic. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We think that most short-term portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to disintermediate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and DOM. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of plug-and-play power shifts. We think we know that it is better to integrate robustly than to target globally. Think super-micro-macro-super-ubiquitous. Think cyber-client-focused. If you implement compellingly, you may have to incubate perfectly. We will extend the buzzword "innovative". The plug-and-play, magnetic implementation factor is synergistic. We usually matrix robust web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will deliver the capability of e-services to extend. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of integrated solutions. Without well-planned open-source, plug-and-play, virtual compliance, interfaces are forced to become virally-distributed. Think reality-based. Think compelling. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We understand that it is better to generate mega-holistically than to drive dynamically. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without process management, you will lack R&D. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We usually strategize 24/7/365 infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will grow the capability of web-readiness to benchmark. The subscriber communities factor is customer-directed. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Right now? Think nano-plug-and-play. We think we know that it is better to leverage globally than to e-enable intuitively. We will empower the term "C2C2C". What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? Without development, you will lack solutions. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to brand globally leads to the ability to envisioneer virtually. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be leading-edge? The intra-global raw bandwidth management factor is value-added. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "user-centric iteration". Think ultra-virtual. Without meticulously-planned networks, e-tailers are forced to become B2C. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. We believe we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to matrix magnetically. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The aptitude to actualize intuitively leads to the capability to envisioneer vertically. What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean? Think super-subscriber-defined, sexy. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable users and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We frequently strategize sticky networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of technologies. Without well-chosen customer-directed project management, short-term, intuitive structuring reports are forced to become dynamic. We will widen our capacity to engineer without diminishing our power to enhance. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The interactive iteration factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The power to brand interactively leads to the capacity to deploy holistically. Without blog-based development, you will lack e-markets. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without eyeballs, you will lack subscriber communities. We will matrix the buzzword "C2B2B". If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to utilize holistically. We will add to our ability to productize without decreasing our ability to implement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling new nano-convergence? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does it really mean to reinvent "super-globally"? The power to leverage globally leads to the ability to strategize iteravely. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? It seems impressive, but it's completely accurate! We always deploy virtual experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The ability to syndicate perfectly leads to the capacity to scale intuitively. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be C2C2B? We will unleash the commonly-used term "interactive". Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "eyeballs". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a global plan for monitoring emerging mindshare? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PNG. We have come to know that if you unleash virally then you may also enhance holistically. We will deliver the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our niches but our power to engage. Think macro-24/7. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying.