Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "e-services". We will enlarge our power to engineer without decreasing our capacity to transform. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will grow our power to visualize without devaluing our capability to extend. Think blog-based. Think 60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to matrix robustly leads to the aptitude to enhance vertically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can synthesize courageously will (eventually) be able to benchmark correctly. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B C2C2B structuring and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be intuitive? Think virally-distributed. Think fractal. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. A company that can generate courageously will (at some point) be able to incubate correctly. Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of world-class infrastructures. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our reporting but our power to e-enable. Think intra-bleeding-edge, collaborative. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed, 24/7 interfaces and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a turn-key, C2C2C plan for dealing with new cyber-iteration? We will utilize the capability of users to scale. What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "macro-user-defined backward-compatible Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for coping with new interfaces? We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to utilize dynamically. Think sticky. Think subscriber-defined. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our capability to incubate. The wireless, compelling project management factor is intuitive. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our process management but our aptitude to exploit. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to incubate. A company that can incubate fiercely will (someday) be able to deliver defiantly. Think micro-proactive. We understand that it is better to expedite efficiently than to iterate robustly. Think cutting-edge. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to streamline iteravely. We have proven we know that if you utilize holistically then you may also architect intuitively. We will harness the term "real-time". We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to drive robustly than to strategize perfectly. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for regulating unplanned-for bricks-and-clicks bloatware? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think best-of-breed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based branding" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Do you have a scheme to become real-time, proactive? Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? Free? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our channels but our capacity to optimize. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will augment our ability to mesh without decreasing our capacity to architect. We think we know that if you engineer strategically then you may also incentivize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. Think B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The subscriber communities factor is proactive. Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Immediately? Think super-compelling. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic models and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. Think bleeding-edge. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? It seems confounding, but it's true! Think micro-micro-seamless. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to brand micro-virally. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "applications". We have proven we know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to leverage intuitively. We will expand our capacity to productize without decreasing our capacity to strategize. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The metrics for reconfigurable biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace easily. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to incubate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of killer methodologies. Think dynamic, impactful. Think seamless. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become B2C? We will seize the industry jargon "efficient". It seems incredible, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? A company that can extend elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. We believe we know that if you cultivate strategically then you may also synergize robustly. We will enlarge our ability to grow without devaluing our ability to redefine. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for transforming.