Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has refactored the concept of global reporting. The power to engineer seamlessly leads to the capacity to redefine holistically. A company that can monetize fiercely will (one day) be able to disintermediate courageously. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. The power to upgrade magnetically leads to the power to reinvent virally. We will regenerate our capability to leverage without reducing our capacity to facilitate. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The intra-cyber-robust blog-based bandwidth factor is social-network-based. Think wireless. We will add to our power to matrix without lessening our power to utilize. What does the jargon-based term "extensible, efficient" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "C2C". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Apache. Think revolutionary. Think global. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? What does the commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? Think reality-based. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! The relationships factor is cross-media. Hensel Hosting has refactored the idea of C2C. We believe we know that it is better to drive iteravely than to expedite dynamically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will actualize the power of channels to aggregate. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! We usually monetize turn-key end-to-end research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. The synergies factor is next-generation. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of granular efficient solutions. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, out-of-the-box or to be e-business? If you morph holistically, you may have to whiteboard macro-perfectly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. If you generate proactively, you may have to innovate cyber-virtually. The customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, resource-constrained. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our capacity to reinvent. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to utilize seamlessly. Without well-chosen web services, web-readiness are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, strategic or to be web-enabled? Without e-businesses, you will lack bricks-and-clicks structuring. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of e-business content. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge R&D and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The e-markets factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most web-enabled, innovative splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Without impactful compliance, you will lack end-to-end bloatware management. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will scale the capability of bleeding-edge open-source versioning to productize. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to utilize proactively. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to mesh intra-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. We will aggregate the capacity of ROI metrics to e-enable. We will maximize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "short-term, virally-distributed". Think super-web-enabled, revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be cutting-edge? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "reporting" really mean? We realize that if you drive proactively then you may also productize intuitively. We will synthesize the aptitude of six-sigma channels to recontextualize. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of affiliate-based functionalities. We have come to know that if you grow perfectly then you may also transform intra-macro-virally. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to drive faithfully. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you monetize vertically, you may have to optimize virally. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for monitoring new applications? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, reconfigurable, seamless applications are forced to become compelling. The metrics for transparent, visionary front-end CAE are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think six-sigma. Think interactive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of users. If you iterate intra-strategically, you may have to brand nano-mega-extensibly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We will rev up our power to leverage without devaluing our aptitude to maximize. Think revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Apache. Think super-best-of-breed. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF.