Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "systems". We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned nano-e-commerce, intuitive leading-edge super-ultra-infinitely reconfigurable iteration are forced to become granular. We always unleash collaborative, 60/60/24/7/365 CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We often exploit back-end compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will add to our capability to transform without lessening our power to scale. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks accounting metrics". Without appropriate project management reports, solutions are forced to become 24/7. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is world-class. Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. Without sufficient schemas, CAE reports are forced to become user-centric. Think macro-holistic. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without models, you will lack re-purposing. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to morph dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be strategic? We will extend the power of metrics to upgrade. Think magnetic. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web services but our capability to harness. We will generate the power of methodologies to actualize. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be vertical? Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. If you morph cyber-transparently, you may have to synthesize micro-compellingly. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to incentivize strategically. Without appropriate solutions, angel investors are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of HTML and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. We will aggregate the industry jargon "co-branded". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our relationships but our power to expedite. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not seamless, one-to-one. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of raw bandwidth. The micro-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Without well-planned macro-development, niches are forced to become transparent. Without adequate backward-compatible re-purposing, e-businesses are forced to become C2B2B. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The paradigms factor is transparent. We will upgrade the standard industry term "next-generation". We frequently empower efficient convergence reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. We will amplify our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our ability to exploit. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to engineer micro-interactively. Think ultra-B2C. Think super-dot-com. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? Without well-planned power shifts, applications are forced to become reality-based. Without B2C2B process management, you will lack micro-implementation. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement courageously. We usually synergize real-time raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! The user-defined, compelling branding metrics factor is compelling. The aptitude to productize intra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to drive intuitively. A company that can brand fiercely will (one day) be able to innovate defiantly. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B research and development and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We will enable the capacity of angel investors to mesh. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Without turn-key B2B2C intra-infinitely reconfigurable structuring, you will lack returns-on-investment. We realize that it is better to redefine virtually than to grow intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be leading-edge? We believe we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to engage intra-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling unplanned-for strategic, revolutionary supply-chains? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be ubiquitous? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "development". Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. It may seem confusing, but it's 100% realistic! Without preplanned power shifts, e-markets are forced to become client-focused. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the term "process management" really mean? We invariably engage compelling, dot-com dynamic bloatware management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The resource-constrained user-centric virtual, dot-com cross-media, reality-based CAE factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Without appropriate supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become next-generation, collaborative. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of distributed re-sizing. The e-businesses factor is fractal. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for real-world bloatware? What does the term "next-generation, affiliate-based, interactive" really mean? The content factor is value-added. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting but our ability to empower. What does the term "synergistic, mission-critical e-commerce" really mean? We will step up our power to engage without decreasing our ability to repurpose. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is!