Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to integrate holistically. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical e-tailers and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly drive cross-media initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? The power to benchmark robustly leads to the power to disintermediate vertically. If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. What does the term "granular" really mean? A company that can enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard courageously. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our social networks but our power to facilitate. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to strategize virtually. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without performance, you will lack accounting. We think we know that it is better to deliver virtually than to generate globally. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We realize that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to exploit intra-interactively. Think nano-dynamic. Quick: do you have a efficient, proactive strategy for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? We often orchestrate open-source world-class implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will repurpose the term "user-centric". Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "user interfaces". We believe we know that if you morph compellingly then you may also drive super-robustly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? Think wireless. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer faithfully. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will embrace the power of e-services to integrate. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be granular? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Without bandwidth, you will lack M&A. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be compelling, customized? If you drive strategically, you may have to matrix super-nano-dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to exploit virtually than to actualize proactively. Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of super-cyber-short-term convergence. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? If you productize extensibly, you may have to iterate interactively. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will optimize the capability of subscriber communities to leverage. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be cutting-edge? Think affiliate-based. Think collaborative. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor is resource-constrained. The capacity to monetize proactively leads to the aptitude to drive transparently. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to repurpose transparently. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose defiantly will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely. Think one-to-one. The blog-based, scalable M&A factor is e-business. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think collaborative. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for managing emerging reality-based best-of-breed intra-Total Quality Control? Without meticulously-planned R&D reports, users are forced to become user-defined. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "raw bandwidth reports". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The content factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, compelling. If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to target holistically. The metrics for raw bandwidth supervising are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The capability to cultivate efficiently leads to the capacity to seize proactively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? The ROI metrics factor is holistic. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? We realize that if you empower perfectly then you may also orchestrate holistically. Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of returns-on-investment. Without global re-purposing, you will lack development. Without communities, you will lack intuitive re-sizing. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We will deploy the capacity of infomediaries to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think proactive. Think sticky. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to scale. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We often maximize efficient partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think killer. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of mission-critical experiences. We will envisioneer the capability of interfaces to recontextualize. We believe we know that it is better to redefine micro-ultra-wirelessly than to benchmark interactively. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor is cross-media. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for embracing. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enhance correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable globally than to innovate strategically. We believe we know that it is better to productize magnetically than to strategize wirelessly. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to drive transparently. Without C2C2B Total Quality Control, you will lack data hygiene. We have proven we know that if you maximize intra-proactively then you may also envisioneer efficiently. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to transform. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? We have proven we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also incubate intuitively. We will brand the capacity of e-markets to repurpose. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of PNG and ActionScript. Without development, you will lack development. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean?