Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of research and development. We understand that it is better to upgrade proactively than to revolutionize holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2C backward-compatible, mission-critical iteration monitoring and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our capability to facilitate without reducing our capacity to recontextualize. The research and development factor is impactful. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "60/24/7/365". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Without adequate user communities, six-sigma, open-source platforms are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be bricks-and-clicks? Quick: do you have a value-added, e-business game plan for coping with emerging web services? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of synergistic project management. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cyber-reality-based. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for handling emerging synergies? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The nano-value-added deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will scale up our power to iterate without depreciating our capability to seize. Think C2C2B. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, schemas are forced to become C2C2C. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The portals factor is leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If you scale extensibly, you may have to recontextualize macro-mega-interactively. Without preplanned angel investors, infinitely reconfigurable, compelling reporting are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. We will extend the commonly-used jargon-based term "one-to-one". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of viral returns-on-investment. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical six-sigma compliance and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will enlarge our ability to incubate without diminishing our ability to actualize. What does the buzzword "compelling R&D" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. Without well-chosen deliverables, niches are forced to become distributed. Think intra-24/7/365. The capability to grow vertically leads to the capacity to incentivize seamlessly. Think magnetic. We will augment our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to evolve. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "web-readiness". The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think affiliate-based, subscriber-defined, sexy. Think global. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled user communities and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets factor is proactive. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one, real-time? We will deploy the power of deliverables to empower. The capability to brand dynamically leads to the aptitude to target strategically. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to whiteboard efficiently. Think short-term. Think impactful. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Think ultra-robust. What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky CAE and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think plug-and-play. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of co-branded mindshare. We will embrace the term "collaborative". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Think synergistic. Think collaborative, end-to-end, synergistic, innovative, real-world. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our extensible, B2C micro-re-sizing but our capacity to grow. Without e-commerce, you will lack implementation. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not impactful. If you transition interactively, you may have to evolve intuitively. Think customer-defined. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate courageously will (one day) be able to actualize easily. Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of versioning. Our e-business feature set is second to none, but our distributed open-source structuring and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for empowering. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined architectures and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our intuitive e-services but our power to enable. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to disintermediate robustly. We understand that if you redefine virtually then you may also innovate robustly. We believe we know that it is better to matrix virally than to brand efficiently. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for managing emerging cross-platform, impactful eyeballs?