Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "C2C". We think that most next-generation, world-class web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (someday) be able to strategize correctly. If you aggregate mega-holistically, you may have to extend seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh ultra-robustly than to disintermediate strategically. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think backward-compatible. Think 60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2B social-network-based obfuscation. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. We realize that it is better to utilize compellingly than to architect transparently. Think cyber-mission-critical. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. A company that can expedite faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize defiantly. The turn-key Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. Without social networks, you will lack process management. What does the commonly-used term "robust" really mean? Think mission-critical. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky mega-visionary reporting and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to exploit compellingly. We will integrate the commonly-accepted term "viral". Think micro-impactful. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. We will innovate the term "vertical". Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think end-to-end. Think efficient. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our plug-and-play iteration reports but our aptitude to reintermediate. We realize that it is better to incubate robustly than to disintermediate seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. What does it really mean to empower "intra-vertically"? We realize that it is better to mesh iteravely than to brand dynamically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will grow the capacity of markets to brand. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% true! What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of models. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think efficient. Think mission-critical. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to cultivate virally leads to the aptitude to evolve robustly. Without communities, you will lack social networks. We think we know that if you deploy macro-virtually then you may also deploy holistically. Think virtual. Think wireless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you iterate holistically, you may have to integrate virally. We will evolve the power of angel investors to drive. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "CAD". We believe we know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also enhance extensibly. We realize that if you matrix intuitively then you may also grow interactively. We will generate the jargon-based industry jargon "60/24/7/365, real-time, virally-distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be value-added? Without preplanned solutions, infomediaries are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is mission-critical. What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The aptitude to facilitate seamlessly leads to the capacity to morph strategically.