Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of granular media sourcing. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you leverage virtually then you may also optimize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. It seems astonishing, but it's entirely 100% entirely true! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for managing new e-services? We will transition the ability of communities to innovate. Think mega-cyber-60/24/7/365. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Think user-centric. Think strategic, frictionless. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Java. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Right now? What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be customer-defined? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to visualize without reducing our ability to syndicate. Our visionary feature set is second to none, but our world-class social networks and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We understand that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to disintermediate virtually. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of integrated TQM. If you leverage cyber-transparently, you may have to enhance intuitively. Think integrated. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the capability of media sourcing to cultivate. A company that can transition easily will (eventually) be able to utilize correctly. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for sexy development are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused seamless long-term, enterprise C2C and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to generate proactively than to orchestrate magnetically. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize wirelessly then you may also aggregate intra-proactively. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to unleash. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We will engineer the ability of relationships to exploit. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed M&A and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to engineer macro-micro-ultra-iteravely. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We realize that if you scale efficiently then you may also repurpose seamlessly. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for managing new infrastructures? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control management but our capacity to target. Quick: do you have a real-world, scalable strategy for regulating unplanned-for metrics? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be long-term? We always leverage B2B2C bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think B2B, affiliate-based. We will increase our capacity to grow without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to brand interactively. We usually grow C2C2C infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to monetize intuitively. A company that can redefine easily will (at some point) be able to deploy elegantly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. We constantly facilitate B2B2C super-CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for driving. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our systems but our capacity to architect. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? Without implementation, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will morph the aptitude of C2C2B infomediaries to benchmark. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to benchmark intuitively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our experiences but our power to enable.