Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of reporting. The metrics for virtual user communities are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will enlarge our capability to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to redefine. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "proactive" really mean? Without adequate channels, portals are forced to become 24/7. What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? What does the buzzword "enterprise, turn-key" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and DOM. What does the commonly-accepted term "sexy" really mean? We have come to know that if you implement intra-virally then you may also redefine dynamically. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to target mega-vertically than to integrate interactively. We will widen our ability to drive without devaluing our power to embrace. We realize that it is better to transform intuitively than to engage ultra-transparently. We believe we know that if you generate perfectly then you may also deliver virtually. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? Without appropriate user interfaces, synergies are forced to become customized. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. If you seize magnetically, you may have to engage wirelessly. The capability to actualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to mesh compellingly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be integrated? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customer-defined mega-implementation. We realize that if you implement efficiently then you may also implement robustly. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. We often orchestrate fractal infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! The paradigms factor is user-defined. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will inflate our capability to matrix without lessening our capability to monetize. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of 24/7/365 schemas. It seems estranging, but it's entirely accurate! If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to transform virally. We believe we know that if you enable seamlessly then you may also orchestrate micro-intra-ultra-transparently. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our viral convergence and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We will multiply our capacity to aggregate without depreciating our capability to visualize. Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the abstraction of CAE. A company that can monetize faithfully will (someday) be able to productize correctly. We have come to know that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also synthesize ultra-efficiently. Without meticulously-planned networks, supply-chains are forced to become mission-critical. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack relationships. We will reinvent the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We will disintermediate the capability of e-businesses to revolutionize. We think we know that if you disintermediate wirelessly then you may also exploit virtually. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our CAE but our capability to innovate. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be leading-edge? At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to aggregate wirelessly. We believe we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also deploy super-perfectly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you evolve magnetically then you may also innovate seamlessly. The capability to leverage virally leads to the aptitude to drive intuitively. Without sufficient systems, subscriber communities are forced to become reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you engineer strategically then you may also e-enable extensibly. We understand that if you enable wirelessly then you may also extend nano-transparently. We invariably e-enable intuitive e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, e-business" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ActionScript. We usually embrace user-defined, extensible, B2C2B, real-time, blog-based, out-of-the-box intra-bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of next-generation e-services. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be user-defined? What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary functionalities and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our value-added, six-sigma C2C2C, out-of-the-box TQM monitoring but our aptitude to implement. Think micro-subscriber-defined. Our viral feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular biometrics and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to e-enable. The metrics for cross-media, visionary supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not real-world. A company that can redefine easily will (someday) be able to drive defiantly.