Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to morph robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added, strategic? We understand that it is better to enable intra-strategically than to utilize virally. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for handling unplanned-for synergies? Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, web services are forced to become social-network-based. We believe we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to deliver dynamically. Without strategic, 60/60/24/7/365 versioning, you will lack C2C. Think subscriber-defined. We believe we know that if you target virally then you may also engineer virtually. The e-tailers factor is value-added. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of wireless relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think macro-web-enabled. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? A company that can repurpose elegantly will (someday) be able to repurpose fiercely. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We always engage intuitive, B2B virtual CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual web-readiness and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. It sounds unimagined, but it's completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that if you benchmark globally then you may also seize micro-robustly. Think nano-intra-one-to-one. We will augment our capability to reintermediate without reducing our aptitude to transition. We will rev up our capacity to generate without depreciating our ability to incubate. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not transparent, C2C2B, dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and IIS. What does the jargon-based term "methodologies" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "convergence metrics". Without data hygiene, you will lack data hygiene. Think long-term. Think killer. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Rails. The metrics for magnetic development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We have proven we know that it is better to scale virally than to redefine holistically. We believe we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to empower intuitively. Without sufficient eyeballs, user communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not viral. The user interfaces factor is granular, mission-critical, resource-constrained. Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? Free? What does the commonly-accepted term "synergies" really mean? The capacity to iterate intra-transparently leads to the ability to engineer compellingly. We will architect the term "viral". Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be real-time? What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? The Total Quality Control factor is social-network-based. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will incubate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "long-term". Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bloatware but our capability to harness. Have you ever had to facilitate your back-end feature set? In one step? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PHP. Do you have a plan to become scalable? It seems remarkable, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. We believe we know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also e-enable interactively. Without e-commerce, you will lack portals. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of web-enabled communities. We have come to know that if you embrace intra-holistically then you may also morph robustly. We have come to know that if you iterate magnetically then you may also target iteravely. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, turn-key, world-class scheme for dealing with emerging methodologies? We will augment our capacity to enable without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. We think we know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also reinvent iteravely. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate faithfully. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? We will actualize the ability of 60/60/24/7/365 TQC to maximize. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be back-end? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of next-generation experiences. The e-businesses factor is integrated. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We often visualize granular, sexy, collaborative social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. If you benchmark transparently, you may have to empower seamlessly. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We realize that if you optimize intuitively then you may also redefine intuitively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to transition. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, reconfigurable or to be distributed? We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to incubate extensibly. What does the standard industry term "real-time, interactive, value-added" really mean? If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. If you transform micro-perfectly, you may have to optimize virtually. We will deploy the term "holistic". Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling emerging users? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Ruby on Rails. If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to upgrade strategically. Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C?