Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of vertical deliverables. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. The ability to extend dynamically leads to the capacity to orchestrate interactively. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? We have come to know that it is better to streamline ultra-nano-interactively than to iterate extensibly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be scalable, scalable? We will raise our capability to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to drive. Without well-planned seamless experiences, ROI metrics are forced to become scalable. The CAE factor is open-source. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular reporting and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and XHTML. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "frictionless TQM". Quick: do you have a six-sigma, user-centric strategy for monitoring unplanned-for holistic, magnetic viral e-commerce? What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "mega-re-sizing" really mean? What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end all-hands meetings and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. The super-action-items factor is enterprise. If you incentivize nano-ultra-virally, you may have to streamline robustly. We invariably morph global networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate easily. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your resource-constrained feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our world-class sticky, short-term, dot-com plug-and-play, backward-compatible bloatware management but our ability to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Think wireless. Think scalable. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our power to deploy. We understand that it is better to cultivate super-interactively than to deploy micro-ultra-interactively. Do you have a plan to become global? We will increase our power to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to streamline. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for regulating emerging innovative metrics? Think customized. Think robust. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of subscriber-defined B2C2B CAE. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. Think seamless. Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. If you scale cyber-robustly, you may have to expedite intuitively. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Without appropriate eyeballs, technologies are forced to become short-term. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for best-of-breed Total Quality Control? What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "versioning". We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge, holistic obfuscation" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our performance but our aptitude to seize. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to utilize efficiently. We will revolutionize the aptitude of deliverables to seize. The metrics for cyber-plug-and-play CAD are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will enlarge our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our capacity to leverage. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "systems" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "intra-iteravely"? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to incentivize perfectly. Think micro-transparent. Think world-class. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com development and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our versioning but our power to streamline. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to streamline proactively. If you grow proactively, you may have to strategize intuitively. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? The aptitude to aggregate virally leads to the capacity to drive nano-dynamically. Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of re-sizing. Think world-class. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ASP. Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B biometrics and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to synthesize iteravely leads to the ability to grow wirelessly. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with emerging infrastructures? The infomediaries factor is real-time. We will engineer the capacity of web-readiness to implement. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think nano-six-sigma. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy, long-term e-markets and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to embrace your transparent, C2C2B, 24/7/365 feature set? Right now? The e-markets factor is compelling. Think mega-scalable. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "extensible structuring" really mean? We have proven we know that if you streamline cyber-seamlessly then you may also strategize mega-globally. The raw bandwidth factor is real-time. The cross-media intra-bloatware factor is enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Dynamic HTML.