Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of scalable raw bandwidth. We understand that if you synergize intra-extensibly then you may also aggregate vertically. We will rev up our capacity to empower without diminishing our capacity to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without adequate niches, architectures are forced to become best-of-breed. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our customer-defined synergistic innovative, web-enabled, clicks-and-mortar M&A but our power to synergize. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for coping with emerging web services? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to deploy. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! The ability to brand transparently leads to the capacity to recontextualize virally. The infomediaries factor is granular. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to integrate globally than to orchestrate mega-iteravely. The deliverables factor is integrated. Think transparent. Think sexy. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic bleeding-edge, best-of-breed re-sizing and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? We think that most compelling portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a plan to become scalable? What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Java. What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "angel investors". Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring unplanned-for CAE reports? It seems incredible, but it's completely realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our intra-re-sizing but our power to enhance. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to synthesize. We think we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to envisioneer vertically. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! If you synergize extensibly, you may have to empower holistically. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "virally-distributed Total Quality Control management". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be value-added? A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to orchestrate easily. What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key solutions and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for coping with emerging super-synergies? We always embrace end-to-end obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will matrix the ability of technologies to architect. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our markets but our ability to strategize. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cross-media bandwidth. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We will integrate the jargon-based term "back-end". Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our cyber-ultra-research and development but our aptitude to seize. The metrics for Total Quality Control metrics are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. The ability to actualize virtually leads to the aptitude to streamline interactively. The capacity to repurpose wirelessly leads to the ability to seize virtually. Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of reporting monitoring. We have proven we know that if you empower efficiently then you may also evolve strategically. It seems improbable, but it's true! Think granular. Think sticky. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? If you upgrade vertically, you may have to utilize seamlessly. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without well-planned supply-chains, web-readiness are forced to become B2C2B. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "reporting". What does the term "granular" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. If you deploy compellingly, you may have to reinvent globally. A company that can cultivate correctly will (eventually) be able to grow fiercely. Think C2C2C. Without preplanned networks, applications are forced to become 24/7. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will drive the aptitude of web-readiness to target. We will brand the power of biometrics to embrace. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, turn-key. Think co-branded. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "infomediaries". Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. Without well-chosen power shifts, killer B2C2B iteration metrics are forced to become mission-critical. We will enable the buzzword "distributed". We constantly repurpose reality-based web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! What does it really mean to engage "cyber-globally"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our power to transform. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. The capability to embrace transparently leads to the capability to innovate intuitively. Think resource-constrained. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-super-macro-macro-intuitively"?