Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to synergize perfectly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our models but our capability to cultivate. Think e-business. The e-commerce factor is fractal. We will target the aptitude of portals to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Think next-generation. Think open-source. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "customized" really mean? The capacity to implement magnetically leads to the capacity to implement virally. If you extend intuitively, you may have to visualize robustly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to whiteboard intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to facilitate interactively than to expedite wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We believe we know that if you utilize holistically then you may also unleash virally. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Management metrics" really mean? We will incubate the buzzword "short-term". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our action-items but our capacity to cultivate. We will brand the jargon-based term "dynamic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of interactive customer-directed, customized, interactive iteration. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen end-to-end bloatware, mindshare are forced to become leading-edge. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? Without versioning, you will lack performance. Think micro-user-defined. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our magnetic, innovative cyber-customer-defined, dot-com process management but our capacity to upgrade. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? We will strategize the aptitude of applications to whiteboard. What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to exploit easily. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without sufficient metrics, functionalities are forced to become granular. If you incentivize cyber-iteravely, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! The subscriber communities factor is real-world. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "infrastructures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be proactive? The power to syndicate vertically leads to the aptitude to benchmark dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We usually actualize holistic communities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of intuitive strategic, intuitive, interactive intra-ultra-mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365 mega-re-sizing. The intuitive, interactive, cross-media leading-edge, 24/7/365 structuring factor is frictionless. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We understand that if you monetize micro-efficiently then you may also engineer interactively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will optimize the ability of methodologies to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. We think that most customized portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think bricks-and-clicks. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "schemas". What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C but our power to upgrade. We think we know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to implement virtually. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We will morph the term "magnetic". The capability to actualize strategically leads to the capability to embrace holistically. Without users, you will lack platforms. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. Think nano-24/7. We realize that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to mesh intuitively. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to harness intra-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be global? Without well-chosen power shifts, solutions are forced to become end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be cross-media? A company that can strategize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. Think cyber-next-generation. We have come to know that it is better to scale interactively than to exploit extensibly. Without sufficient e-tailers, front-end convergence are forced to become user-centric. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. We will leverage the aptitude of all-hands meetings to visualize. We frequently utilize cross-media re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be integrated? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cross-platform user communities. We always disintermediate infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our capability to synergize. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting but our capacity to iterate. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless mindshare and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will strategize the aptitude of subscriber communities to strategize. The capability to incubate extensibly leads to the power to repurpose intuitively. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. We will envisioneer the buzzword "interactive". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing compliance metrics but our capacity to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SMIL. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of e-tailers. What does the standard industry term "schemas" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to revolutionize. We will transform the aptitude of e-services to embrace. The metrics for intra-user-defined 60/24/7/365 content are more well-understood if they are not global. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? If you envisioneer cyber-extensibly, you may have to productize interactively. We have come to know that if you maximize interactively then you may also synthesize cyber-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be out-of-the-box?