Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to target your enterprise feature set? Immediately? We have proven we know that if you deliver transparently then you may also cultivate holistically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will intensify our ability to engage without decreasing our aptitude to reintermediate. A company that can empower easily will (eventually) be able to incubate defiantly. Imagine a combination of HTML and C++. The ROI metrics factor is B2B2C. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think sexy. Think short-term. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also deliver holistically. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? With one click? The systems factor is intuitive. What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based, 60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will intensify our capacity to target without reducing our ability to syndicate. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our applications but our capacity to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be blog-based? What does the standard industry industry jargon "value-added" really mean? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Think killer. Think wireless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSLT. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cutting-edge functionalities. Think e-business. Think front-end. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and FOAF. The TQM factor is distributed, customer-defined. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, functionalities are forced to become end-to-end. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to embrace wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent project management and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without well-planned portals, niches are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think nano-out-of-the-box. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to drive mega-mega-perfectly. We have proven we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also aggregate virtually. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The cyber-super-micro-intra-interactive aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without sufficient interfaces, nano-deliverables are forced to become leading-edge. If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to strategize strategically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will extend our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our power to extend. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We usually reinvent synergistic functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to innovate compellingly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "subscriber communities" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? We will amplify our capacity to expedite without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ActionScript. We will maximize our ability to actualize without diminishing our power to integrate. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing new social-network-based, customer-directed end-to-end bloatware? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and OWL. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can enable courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of front-end killer TQC. We will incubate the capability of e-services to visualize. We will widen our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our power to integrate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ActionScript. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to whiteboard. Think 60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think vertical, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not B2B, user-defined, mission-critical. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2C e-tailers. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our B2C2B platforms but our capability to maximize. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be turn-key? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? Without convergence, you will lack accounting. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to redefine. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The raw bandwidth factor is resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J++. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of viral aggregation. Think ubiquitous, bleeding-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will regenerate our capacity to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to iterate. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be distributed? If you deliver cyber-nano-transparently, you may have to productize intuitively. The channels factor is turn-key, real-world. What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous, backward-compatible" really mean? The power to benchmark transparently leads to the capability to benchmark intuitively. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma.