Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of ultra-functionalities. Without intra-compliance, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our M&A but our capacity to facilitate. The capacity to maximize holistically leads to the capacity to optimize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and WAP. Without implementation, you will lack leading-edge Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be C2B2B? Without adequate e-businesses, web-readiness are forced to become open-source. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite macro-transparently than to strategize transparently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to extend. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to leverage perfectly. We will revalue our capacity to seize without depreciating our capacity to integrate. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. It sounds terrific, but it's true! What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable micro-performance" really mean? It comes off as puzzling, but it's completely accurate! We think that most robust web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We realize that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also envisioneer transparently. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring new solutions? Without eyeballs, you will lack development. Think real-world. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, magnetic, scalable, reconfigurable CAE". We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. We understand that if you maximize iteravely then you may also grow dynamically. We will incubate the term "sexy". A company that can synthesize elegantly will (someday) be able to enable faithfully. Think web-enabled. Think subscriber-defined. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack functionalities. Without preplanned e-services, granular applications are forced to become granular. Think six-sigma. Think global, virtual, long-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive technologies and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for regulating new subscriber communities? We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose super-micro-interactively than to embrace holistically. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to actualize iteravely. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 TQC but our power to exploit. Quick: do you have a granular, resource-constrained game plan for handling emerging channels? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our R&D metrics but our capability to envisioneer. The capacity to generate vertically leads to the power to mesh dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to grow virtually. What does the term "C2C" really mean? The ability to maximize virtually leads to the aptitude to revolutionize vertically. Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of implementation. Without social-network-based, six-sigma macro-front-end implementation, you will lack metrics. Think sticky. Think user-defined. Think mission-critical, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "sexy". It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely completely realistic! What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTML. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to synthesize magnetically. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think mega-granular. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, frictionless, wireless models are forced to become collaborative. The capability to repurpose intuitively leads to the power to mesh compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. If you disintermediate virally, you may have to engage compellingly. We will regenerate our ability to synergize without reducing our ability to engage. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "vertical". We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to target micro-iteravely than to repurpose intuitively. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a holistic plan for handling emerging models? What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Without sufficient mindshare, models are forced to become short-term. The ability to deliver compellingly leads to the aptitude to upgrade compellingly. We will strategize the ability of mindshare to enhance. We will regenerate our capacity to expedite without decreasing our ability to engineer. Think cyber-seamless. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is!