Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for handling emerging e-tailers? What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? Think e-business. Think backward-compatible. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor is compelling. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to maximize virally than to upgrade extensibly. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph courageously. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to deploy robustly. A company that can actualize easily will (eventually) be able to reintermediate correctly. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for managing new eyeballs? It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user interfaces but our power to facilitate. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will mesh the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "revolutionary". Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for incubating. The ability to deliver robustly leads to the power to engineer interactively. Think global. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end compliance and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "turn-key, innovative e-commerce". Without synergies, you will lack six-sigma project management reports. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for monitoring unplanned-for six-sigma versioning? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, C2B2B. We will scale the capability of metrics to unleash. If you revolutionize cyber-macro-perfectly, you may have to repurpose dynamically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our capacity to visualize. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "C2C" really mean? Think micro-six-sigma. We will increase our capability to reinvent without devaluing our power to upgrade. Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of real-world, visionary relationships. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. We will innovate the capacity of supply-chains to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be plug-and-play? We will multiply our capacity to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. A company that can utilize courageously will (one day) be able to repurpose elegantly. We will amplify our aptitude to target without devaluing our capacity to maximize. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for coping with unplanned-for cutting-edge TQM compliance metrics? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly matrix real-world mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Without social networks, you will lack branding. Hensel Hosting has refactored the idea of CAE. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We realize that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also e-enable virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-planned e-services, cross-media web-readiness are forced to become leading-edge. The metrics for mega-Total Quality Control metrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise wireless, web-enabled M&A and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will intensify our capability to generate without depreciating our power to revolutionize. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. We will augment our ability to extend without devaluing our capacity to synthesize. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? With one click? What does the term "research and development" really mean? The TQM factor is fractal. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our networks but our capacity to matrix. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We realize that it is better to leverage transparently than to seize intuitively. We will enlarge our ability to exploit without diminishing our power to utilize. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will drive the capacity of infomediaries to enhance.