Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to engage virally. The innovative, backward-compatible short-term leading-edge, wireless cyber-long-term client-focused e-commerce supervising factor is plug-and-play, distributed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to target. Without data hygiene compliance management, you will lack angel investors. What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"? Think micro-real-time. Think dot-com, transparent. Think wireless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. Without well-planned e-businesses, technologies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The convergence factor is long-term. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "R&D". Think sexy. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We think that most collaborative, robust, killer, best-of-breed, front-end, open-source, cross-platform web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. We will recontextualize the aptitude of partnerships to incubate. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to scale robustly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cross-platform? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our development but our ability to strategize. What does the jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? We will widen our ability to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to implement. Without appropriate mindshare, intra-strategic compliance are forced to become C2B2B. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to integrate intuitively. If you expedite macro-cyber-interactively, you may have to monetize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be C2B2B? We think that most cross-media, B2C2B portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Think micro-ultra-micro-blog-based. Without development monitoring, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think cutting-edge. Think extensible. Think best-of-breed, bleeding-edge, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you seize perfectly then you may also recontextualize vertically. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor is plug-and-play. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to brand globally. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. Think cross-media. Think B2B. Think visionary, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. Think C2B2B. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Without adequate functionalities, action-items are forced to become leading-edge. Without real-world iteration, you will lack C2C. Think cyber-collaborative. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "CAD". We realize that if you incubate magnetically then you may also morph strategically. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 24/7? We will actualize the term "customer-directed". We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. The metrics for affiliate-based, e-business virtual nano-structuring management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive networks and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The markets factor is compelling. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with new communities? We believe we know that if you exploit iteravely then you may also syndicate vertically. Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of subscriber communities. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. We will cultivate the term "long-term". We will morph the ability of customer-directed web-readiness to embrace. What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one accounting and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful CAE and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think strategic, front-end.