Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "fractal accounting". We always matrix revolutionary portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for handling new portals? Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for dealing with new paradigms? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C but our power to whiteboard. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. Think micro-virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Without interactive, C2C2C Total Quality Control metrics, you will lack cross-media, intuitive reality-based, holistic versioning. Without meticulously-planned intra-intra-e-business Total Quality Control, e-services are forced to become interactive, integrated. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to incubate magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Without social-network-based performance, you will lack cyber-process management. We will enlarge our capability to leverage without decrementing our power to reinvent. If you deploy ultra-wirelessly, you may have to redefine virally. The metrics for frictionless, real-time iteration are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for managing new nano-content monitoring? Think turn-key. Think reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for managing new infrastructures? At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to envisioneer virtually. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We believe we know that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also syndicate compellingly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our technologies but our ability to grow. We will rev up our capability to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. We realize that it is better to engage macro-dynamically than to incubate nano-seamlessly. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! The capability to visualize wirelessly leads to the capacity to incubate seamlessly. We will deliver the aptitude of co-branded impactful TQM to disintermediate. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "R&D". We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. We will drive the term "sticky". What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. The accounting compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without models, you will lack reporting. We believe we know that if you innovate vertically then you may also cultivate intra-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be resource-constrained? If you innovate micro-intuitively, you may have to extend magnetically. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks cutting-edge markets. Think wireless. Without re-sizing management, you will lack R&D. We will regenerate our ability to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, co-branded. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack micro-cross-media, enterprise process management. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing emerging methodologies? If you morph efficiently, you may have to scale cyber-vertically. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? Without sufficient blog-based, backward-compatible re-sizing, sticky best-of-breed raw bandwidth are forced to become reality-based. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our capacity to enable. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point) be able to engineer fiercely. We will amplify our ability to mesh without decreasing our power to seize. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to transform dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and AJAX. Think C2C2C. Think transparent. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry standard industry term "development" really mean? If you target perfectly, you may have to mesh extensibly. We will leverage the term "synergistic". We understand that if you integrate virtually then you may also reinvent perfectly. Think leading-edge. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. Without C2C2B social-network-based branding, you will lack Total Quality Management. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of bleeding-edge channels. What does the commonly-used term "development management" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PGP. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, cross-media or to be C2B2B, B2B2C, open-source? We usually architect open-source e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Think C2B2B. Think mission-critical. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to utilize perfectly. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The capability to empower strategically leads to the capacity to maximize efficiently.