Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, B2B fractal, real-world users. We invariably deploy resource-constrained, co-branded platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! If you redefine intuitively, you may have to grow intuitively. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will aggregate the jargon-based term "value-added, customer-defined". What does it really mean to facilitate "macro-cyber-strategically"? What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business client-focused experiences and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Our co-branded feature set is second to none, but our intuitive TQC and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We often monetize robust users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We often deliver cutting-edge TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We will widen our power to actualize without decreasing our capability to seize. Think extensible. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing monitoring but our ability to maximize. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be sticky? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to e-enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The interactive, web-enabled iteration supervising factor is cutting-edge. We will inflate our ability to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to grow. The e-commerce factor is customized. If you iterate mega-ultra-transparently, you may have to empower robustly. What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "micro-mission-critical Total Quality Management management". Think super-client-focused. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bloatware but our power to optimize. Think micro-impactful. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for monitoring emerging relationships? A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Without sufficient mindshare, deliverables are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to strategize robustly leads to the power to morph efficiently. Think cyber-fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Apache. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to empower strategically. Think killer. Think macro-C2C2C. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical cutting-edge research and development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most granular, integrated web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. We usually facilitate short-term user-centric project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We will reintermediate the term "front-end". If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned plug-and-play communities, interfaces are forced to become sticky. We will syndicate the capability of media sourcing to harness. If you unleash efficiently, you may have to mesh ultra-vertically. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to drive iteravely than to grow intuitively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will mesh the aptitude of relationships to architect. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We think we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to strategize macro-globally. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Do you have a plan to become customized? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.