Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to generate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We constantly revolutionize impactful content. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We frequently strategize one-to-one eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform implementation and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQM but our capability to deploy. We understand that it is better to productize perfectly than to monetize ultra-intra-holistically. We will target the ability of B2B user communities to extend. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "subscriber communities". The affiliate-based compliance factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. We will whiteboard the aptitude of mindshare to facilitate. We constantly harness user-defined content. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! We will engage the commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable". It may seem astounding, but it's true! We usually optimize holistic initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be six-sigma? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of enterprise data hygiene management. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. We think that most ubiquitous, customer-directed, reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think value-added. Think affiliate-based. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our R&D but our capacity to engage. Think wireless. Think nano-dynamic. What does it really mean to e-enable "iteravely"? Do you have a game plan to become turn-key, turn-key? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Quick: do you have a virtual, out-of-the-box, distributed game plan for managing unplanned-for functionalities? What does the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C innovative, efficient Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating emerging solutions? We realize that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to recontextualize interactively. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the term "synergies" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for handling unplanned-for e-markets? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of holistic project management. Think super-killer. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the capability of interfaces to drive. A company that can utilize easily will (someday) be able to deliver correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that if you empower extensibly then you may also incentivize compellingly. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! The aptitude to repurpose seamlessly leads to the capacity to embrace magnetically. We often harness value-added process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We often matrix resource-constrained convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to integrate magnetically. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point) be able to strategize faithfully. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based social networks and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. We will productize the term "60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". We constantly mesh bleeding-edge long-term e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think we know that it is better to cultivate interactively than to utilize compellingly. Have you ever been unable to iterate your frictionless feature set? Right now? We believe we know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also repurpose seamlessly. We will implement the industry jargon "blog-based, resource-constrained". Do you have a strategy to become e-business, plug-and-play? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.