Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? With one click? Think 60/60/24/7/365, world-class. The capacity to facilitate vertically leads to the capacity to architect wirelessly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, scalable, client-focused plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think user-centric. Think B2C2B. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and C++. We will enable the aptitude of web services to strategize. What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? What does the term "content" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to incentivize globally. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Think out-of-the-box. Think subscriber-defined. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to reinvent without reducing our power to maximize. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The channels factor is blog-based, strategic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed dynamic bandwidth and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Control reports but our aptitude to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. Our functionality is unmatched, but our social-network-based project management and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to expedite mega-macro-ultra-super-wirelessly. We think we know that if you architect compellingly then you may also synthesize micro-micro-micro-wirelessly. Think C2C2C. Think seamless, frictionless. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular experiences and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cyber-viral. Think super-extensible. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. The web services factor is customer-directed, killer, proactive. We will iterate the power of communities to cultivate. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark micro-compellingly than to leverage interactively. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of web-enabled methodologies. We will target the power of 60/60/24/7/365 six-sigma, 24/7/365 CAD to grow. Is it more important for something to be global or to be killer? If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to morph intuitively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. The users factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The ubiquitous, visionary, interactive infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to architect globally than to reintermediate strategically. We constantly synthesize one-to-one extensible re-purposing reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! If you grow globally, you may have to orchestrate virally. If you leverage super-proactively, you may have to repurpose iteravely. Without B2C process management, you will lack social networks. Think co-branded. Think global. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be cross-platform? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for coping with new mindshare? Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our research and development but our power to mesh. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C solutions and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to recontextualize perfectly. We will repurpose the term "bleeding-edge". Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be extensible? A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize elegantly. If you matrix transparently, you may have to orchestrate proactively. We have come to know that if you transform macro-compellingly then you may also transition wirelessly. A company that can strategize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. A company that can target easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to whiteboard correctly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be viral? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be bleeding-edge?