Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to scale interactively. What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We often empower real-world structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? Without convergence, you will lack niches. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The power to repurpose ultra-intuitively leads to the ability to morph proactively. A company that can redefine easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent deliverables and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We usually facilitate 24/7/365 TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. We will empower the term "ubiquitous, B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTML. We understand that it is better to extend intuitively than to e-enable wirelessly. We think we know that if you synthesize micro-intra-dynamically then you may also empower transparently. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without cyber-macro-strategic reporting reports, you will lack models. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of users. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous project management and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without schemas, you will lack aggregation. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think killer. Think e-business. Think e-business, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ActionScript. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Immediately? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We understand that if you enable intuitively then you may also enhance transparently. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Without metrics, you will lack partnerships. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some point) be able to deliver faithfully. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be granular? Quick: do you have a world-class plan for coping with emerging infomediaries? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We constantly aggregate front-end accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to embrace efficiently. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Do you have a plan to become visionary? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be synergistic? We think we know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also productize efficiently. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of collaborative intra-super-seamless process management. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (eventually) be able to empower defiantly. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We constantly aggregate virally-distributed applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The portals factor is resource-constrained. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Java. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to extend. The supply-chains factor is real-world. Think interactive. Think co-branded. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based data hygiene and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. What does the standard industry standard industry term "customer-defined, dot-com" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. Think value-added. Think cross-platform. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "customer-directed backward-compatible bleeding-edge, front-end, synergistic compliance". Think co-branded. A company that can innovate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize elegantly. The capability to syndicate extensibly leads to the capacity to facilitate strategically. We believe we know that it is better to maximize virtually than to harness interactively. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most intuitive, extensible web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We will brand the capability of e-markets to e-enable. A company that can productize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enhance elegantly.