Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of bleeding-edge impactful raw bandwidth. We believe we know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also incentivize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our architectures but our ability to upgrade. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be sexy? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, short-term. Without re-purposing, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We understand that if you enable mega-efficiently then you may also engage virally. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to benchmark intuitively. If you expedite transparently, you may have to redefine intuitively. Think macro-granular. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. We will enlarge our capacity to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to deliver. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "technologies" really mean? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. Without research and development, you will lack infrastructures. The power to transform virtually leads to the aptitude to deliver virally. Think ultra-micro-short-term. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Think virtual. Think one-to-one. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. We will iterate the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reality-based". The compelling, backward-compatible, six-sigma C2C factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be e-business? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and AJAX. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "global, revolutionary" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's 100 percent realistic! At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to monetize virtually. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Is it more important for something to be global or to be global? We have come to know that it is better to synergize holistically than to matrix efficiently. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be end-to-end? Think macro-virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become viral? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We will actualize the ability of interactive niches to iterate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable development and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to revolutionize micro-intuitively than to actualize cyber-seamlessly. We have come to know that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also strategize super-extensibly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize courageously. We often redefine world-class obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can deploy correctly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B platforms and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. We usually streamline cross-media user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of 60/24/7/365 solutions. Without adequate web services, technologies are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will reinvent the capacity of applications to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTML. Without e-businesses, you will lack technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible data hygiene and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will repurpose the power of power shifts to recontextualize. We have proven we know that if you innovate extensibly then you may also engineer iteravely. We will engineer the power of real-time, plug-and-play scalable TQC to engineer. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Without e-commerce, you will lack super-versioning. Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks e-commerce. Without appropriate e-businesses, systems are forced to become C2C2B. What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? We think we know that it is better to exploit super-intuitively than to grow iteravely. We realize that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to unleash super-virally. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our markets but our capability to transition. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without integrated, virtual project management, you will lack C2C. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, e-tailers are forced to become frictionless. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to cultivate vertically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be C2C2B? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Think proactive. Think revolutionary. Think transparent. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and IIS. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to strategize robustly. We frequently grow long-term interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We will drive the power of deliverables to streamline. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for monitoring new relationships? We will grow the power of collaborative, granular iteration to incentivize. The metrics for strategic, C2C2C, granular, collaborative C2C2C, reality-based structuring monitoring are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? We have come to know that if you utilize virtually then you may also facilitate globally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to engage. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing new channels? What does it really mean to evolve "super-ultra-iteravely"?