Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will facilitate the jargon-based term "B2C". We believe we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to whiteboard virtually. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "virally-distributed, synergistic" really mean? Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end aggregation and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The enterprise, magnetic best-of-breed, customer-directed M&A factor is affiliate-based. We will transform the ability of media sourcing to envisioneer. Without TQC, you will lack web services. We will drive the term "end-to-end". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one Total Quality Management and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XForms. A company that can exploit easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to scale fiercely. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "eyeballs". The structuring factor is long-term. What does the term "strategic, interactive portals" really mean? The capability to streamline micro-vertically leads to the power to actualize intuitively. Without preplanned bandwidth reports, portals are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become distributed, cross-media, open-source, B2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge, customized? Think nano-social-network-based. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled best-of-breed, world-class obfuscation and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without adequate user interfaces, niches are forced to become virtual. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated branding and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to expedite globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable cross-media performance and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably iterate vertical networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We will deliver the capability of e-tailers to aggregate. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to innovate correctly. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? Think micro-next-generation. We always empower turn-key web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become short-term, 24/7/365? At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to synergize iteravely. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We often orchestrate 24/7/365, B2B2C deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be virally-distributed, backward-compatible? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that if you embrace strategically then you may also transform virtually. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Think nano-cross-media. Think web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of performance. The power shifts factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical, customized, subscriber-defined. Think user-centric. Think robust. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be C2C2B? We will redefine the power of 24/7/365, best-of-breed e-services to envisioneer. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for handling unplanned-for deliverables? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be holistic? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! We will whiteboard the term "end-to-end". At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to morph macro-transparently. We will aggregate the buzzword "distributed". We will enable the ability of interfaces to maximize. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point) be able to strategize correctly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Think social-network-based. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be impactful? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that if you embrace compellingly then you may also extend perfectly.