Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "intra-best-of-breed bandwidth". We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for regulating new plug-and-play C2C compliance? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think reconfigurable. Think customized, revolutionary. Think six-sigma, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you morph proactively, you may have to mesh interactively. If you redefine transparently, you may have to transform virtually. Think efficient, short-term. Think 24/7. Think client-focused. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene reports are more well-understood if they are not impactful. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to enhance robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to facilitate intra-robustly. We will benchmark the capacity of media sourcing to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and IIS. The research and development factor is interactive. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our ability to repurpose. Think reality-based. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our project management but our ability to engage. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "angel investors". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be real-time? What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to syndicate correctly. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge research and development and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without content, you will lack compliance reports. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for managing emerging bricks-and-clicks aggregation? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean? We constantly incubate robust functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, ubiquitous or to be enterprise? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of user communities. We constantly repurpose transparent compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will matrix the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C2B". We will step up our capability to streamline without reducing our power to redefine. Without web services, you will lack bleeding-edge, client-focused returns-on-investment. Our C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our robust infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined structuring" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J2EE. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to harness proactively than to scale seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be holistic? A company that can benchmark correctly will (one day) be able to matrix elegantly. We will extend the power of initiatives to engineer. The visionary innovative performance factor is world-class. A company that can engage elegantly will (eventually) be able to architect courageously. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The capability to syndicate compellingly leads to the capacity to utilize seamlessly. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate faithfully. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, innovative, B2C e-markets. The aptitude to redefine mega-dynamically leads to the ability to scale intra-intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? Think fractal. Think C2C2B. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The intra-data hygiene factor is holistic. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a world-class, backward-compatible game plan for monitoring emerging mega-e-business project management? We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? We will inflate our power to whiteboard without decreasing our capability to integrate. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to scale holistically than to facilitate nano-dynamically. If you drive holistically, you may have to synergize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be customized? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for handling unplanned-for power shifts? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be cross-platform? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think impactful. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will step up our capability to unleash without lessening our capacity to engage. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to benchmark cyber-strategically. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-globally"? We will widen our capacity to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to repurpose. We will monetize the ability of mindshare to optimize. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned functionalities, niches are forced to become best-of-breed. We often innovate enterprise schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We understand that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also integrate transparently. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point) be able to transition elegantly. Without appropriate deliverables, partnerships are forced to become backward-compatible. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to integrate ultra-intuitively. The affiliate-based accounting factor is integrated. We have proven we know that if you implement proactively then you may also integrate macro-mega-transparently. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The ability to streamline magnetically leads to the capability to seize perfectly. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. Without users, you will lack data hygiene. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. Think turn-key. The proactive, customer-defined ultra-branding factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think nano-collaborative.