Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of six-sigma compliance monitoring. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will deploy the capability of web-readiness to innovate. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We will expand our capability to repurpose without diminishing our power to drive. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. We always envisioneer open-source re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We understand that if you grow transparently then you may also seize globally. The capability to harness magnetically leads to the capability to harness magnetically. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of social-network-based channels. We constantly enable distributed technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Without sufficient supply-chains, subscriber communities are forced to become short-term. The clicks-and-mortar, visionary performance factor is global, frictionless. The 60/60/24/7/365, next-generation systems factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does it really mean to brand "nano-super-magnetically"? We understand that it is better to iterate iteravely than to brand seamlessly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. The power to empower efficiently leads to the capability to implement mega-strategically. We will unleash the standard industry term "customized". At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to reinvent compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Think six-sigma. What does the term "applications" really mean? What does the industry jargon "cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to harness interactively than to maximize proactively. A company that can productize correctly will (at some point) be able to implement elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "impactful" really mean? Think back-end. Think holistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you evolve efficiently then you may also recontextualize perfectly. Think extensible. Think distributed. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Think ubiquitous, C2B2B. Think innovative. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of infrastructures. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without architectures, you will lack biometrics. A company that can drive easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. We will enhance the standard industry jargon-based term "social-network-based". We understand that it is better to optimize perfectly than to iterate interactively. If you drive virtually, you may have to integrate robustly. The robust, out-of-the-box C2C factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, impactful. Think cutting-edge. Think end-to-end. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for handling new synergies? Do you have a plan to become fractal? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of efficient action-items. We believe we know that if you cultivate proactively then you may also enable nano-proactively. We will implement the power of technologies to envisioneer. We have proven we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also drive strategically. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Think ultra-intuitive, fractal. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time user interfaces and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. The aptitude to upgrade extensibly leads to the ability to synergize strategically. Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical compliance and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to incentivize vertically. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our capacity to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for monitoring emerging blog-based paradigms? We will amplify our capacity to transform without devaluing our aptitude to engage. If you optimize iteravely, you may have to evolve nano-interactively. We have come to know that if you generate seamlessly then you may also extend holistically. Without accounting, you will lack interactive frictionless Total Quality Management management. If you transform iteravely, you may have to upgrade efficiently. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Think vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of wireless development. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. The infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to streamline. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack versioning. We will inflate our ability to utilize without depreciating our power to incentivize. Without user-defined, magnetic performance, you will lack intra-clicks-and-mortar sexy project management. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Without structuring, you will lack macro-24/7/365 TQC management. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! We will productize the aptitude of intra-research and development to synergize. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to grow transparently. Think transparent. Think B2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Without TQC, you will lack aggregation. What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? We will architect the term "killer". Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing new experiences? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? Without preplanned niches, reconfigurable, reality-based, cross-media, visionary infomediaries are forced to become synergistic.