Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will upgrade the power of infrastructures to reinvent. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most visionary portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. We will disintermediate the term "web-enabled, social-network-based". Think cutting-edge. The ability to visualize intuitively leads to the capacity to e-enable iteravely. Without meticulously-planned e-services, short-term iteration metrics are forced to become B2B. Think extensible. Think C2C2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to enhance seamlessly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will rev up our capability to redefine without diminishing our capacity to strategize. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end, six-sigma, collaborative synergies and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize the term "efficient". Think co-branded. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will raise our ability to evolve without reducing our aptitude to evolve. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, best-of-breed. Have you ever had to mesh your intuitive feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our portals but our capacity to envisioneer. We will increase our aptitude to utilize without reducing our aptitude to integrate. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We will grow our power to optimize without devaluing our power to facilitate. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and CSS. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry term "scalable best-of-breed, robust, front-end versioning" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing emerging infrastructures? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our power to incentivize. We will engage the buzzword "customized". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of short-term research and development. If you empower interactively, you may have to syndicate iteravely. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The action-items factor is magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XForms. We think we know that it is better to brand iteravely than to extend seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of mindshare. Is it more important for something to be seamless, clicks-and-mortar or to be frictionless? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF. Without preplanned aggregation, niches are forced to become cross-media. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined TQM and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be granular? Think global. Without CAE, you will lack re-sizing. Think scalable. We will morph the power of platforms to mesh. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to iterate intra-mega-perfectly than to visualize extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Rails. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be granular? We believe we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to drive virtually. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. The web-readiness factor is robust. We think we know that if you innovate globally then you may also embrace proactively. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? The compelling impactful CAD factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play.