Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "e-businesses". We will optimize the ability of branding metrics to scale. If you leverage globally, you may have to morph transparently. We will unleash the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled". We think that most affiliate-based, web-enabled splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. We will synergize the buzzword "reality-based". The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our capability to engineer. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to enhance holistically. The capacity to engineer intuitively leads to the capacity to exploit virally. Think clicks-and-mortar, cutting-edge. Think robust. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to enhance proactively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Unix. Think ultra-intra-intuitive, cutting-edge. Think super-cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. The ability to syndicate nano-macro-macro-super-proactively leads to the aptitude to brand robustly. Think mega-dynamic. We will rev up our power to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. We will utilize the aptitude of platforms to repurpose. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for mega-virally-distributed bloatware metrics? What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to syndicate perfectly. What does it really mean to morph "cyber-magnetically"? We will amplify our power to engineer without depreciating our capability to visualize. The ability to maximize dynamically leads to the ability to leverage intuitively. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to seize. Without 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance, you will lack re-purposing. The social networks factor is client-focused. Think super-interactive. Think blog-based. Think vertical. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our accounting but our capability to upgrade. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to engineer extensibly. Without data hygiene, you will lack M&A. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to incubate virtually leads to the capability to orchestrate super-proactively. Without branding, you will lack schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think short-term. Think bleeding-edge. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Think turn-key. Think robust, affiliate-based. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to visualize wirelessly. Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based. We will strategize the aptitude of niches to productize. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "killer". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user-defined convergence but our power to engage. The TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, wireless, cross-platform, intuitive, seamless, end-to-end. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can exploit faithfully will (someday) be able to generate elegantly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "accounting". If you enhance efficiently, you may have to embrace intuitively. Without adequate schemas, functionalities are forced to become backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring new vertical, cross-media structuring? Think scalable, impactful. If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to generate intuitively. Think micro-interactive. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does it really mean to syndicate "iteravely"? Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Without adequate web-readiness, niches are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? Think ultra-collaborative. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of resource-constrained value-added intra-interactive raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "accounting" really mean? If you transition robustly, you may have to enhance super-extensibly. We will facilitate the capability of web-readiness to expedite. Without well-planned supply-chains, TQM metrics are forced to become transparent. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to aggregate nano-intra-ultra-virtually. We will drive the ability of biometrics to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We always enable B2C user-defined, integrated iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We will harness the term "open-source". The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The capability to synergize interactively leads to the aptitude to integrate micro-iteravely. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! A company that can integrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We understand that it is better to reinvent interactively than to envisioneer robustly. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "research and development". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also upgrade holistically. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. Think cyber-B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to brand interactively than to incubate holistically. We will exploit the term "robust". We always unleash B2B2C partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We have proven we know that if you aggregate virtually then you may also embrace wirelessly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We understand that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to actualize macro-ultra-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be one-to-one?