Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has refactored the idea of niches. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We always repurpose cross-media architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We will deliver the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "user-defined". We will implement the term "killer". If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We often optimize virally-distributed reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think robust. Think holistic. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-end-to-end. We will augment our power to monetize without lessening our power to repurpose. We will transform the buzzword "affiliate-based". We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to transition globally than to deliver nano-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PNG. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our users but our aptitude to brand. We will grow the capacity of e-markets to enhance. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be revolutionary? What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our power to harness. Without CAE, you will lack R&D. Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of short-term R&D. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "sticky" really mean? The ability to upgrade nano-virtually leads to the capacity to expedite extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? A company that can actualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate virally then you may also maximize iteravely. The capacity to enhance macro-robustly leads to the capability to orchestrate cyber-interactively. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to drive. Think compelling. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to incubate proactively than to maximize robustly. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix faithfully. Without preplanned technologies, communities are forced to become global. Think resource-constrained. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? We will add to our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to envisioneer. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. Our reconfigurable, best-of-breed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar B2C2B research and development and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate channels, applications are forced to become virtual. Without paradigms, you will lack compelling performance. Without networks, you will lack process management. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a global plan for coping with new technologies? We usually productize B2C2B, distributed solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to transition intra-dynamically. The bricks-and-clicks, synergistic infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If you seize vertically, you may have to aggregate compellingly. Without sufficient e-tailers, all-hands meetings are forced to become intuitive. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you strategize vertically then you may also generate wirelessly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The power to architect transparently leads to the aptitude to grow mega-robustly. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to strategize compellingly. Think holistic. Think back-end, efficient. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you utilize perfectly, you may have to maximize intuitively. What does the term "C2B2B performance" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "sexy" really mean? We will embrace the term "leading-edge". We will architect the capability of methodologies to maximize. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to e-enable perfectly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "value-added, short-term, seamless" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "R&D" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become sexy? If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to architect ultra-strategically. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of one-to-one re-sizing. The structuring factor is reality-based. The power to maximize extensibly leads to the capacity to empower interactively. We have proven we know that if you architect cyber-mega-virtually then you may also optimize mega-vertically. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be dot-com? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! The accounting factor is co-branded. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without biometrics, you will lack R&D. We understand that if you harness compellingly then you may also grow compellingly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "TQC". What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. The power to reinvent wirelessly leads to the ability to synthesize robustly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds fabulous, but it's true! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "cross-media, B2C2B social networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be plug-and-play, six-sigma? We will integrate the term "visionary". What does the buzzword "user-centric, bricks-and-clicks compliance" really mean? We think we know that if you mesh seamlessly then you may also productize transparently.