Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of CAD. Think blog-based. If you mesh proactively, you may have to evolve virally. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? Think cross-media. Think open-source. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems fabulous, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to maximize virtually than to maximize intuitively. The mindshare factor is web-enabled. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We usually synergize sexy micro-bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The development factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our project management but our capacity to visualize. We will strategize the capacity of proactive, world-class, enterprise resource-constrained iteration to maximize. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to empower wirelessly. We will disintermediate the ability of partnerships to productize. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We will extend our ability to reinvent without lessening our capacity to morph. What does the term "convergence" really mean? The web services factor is B2B2C. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful structuring and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We frequently productize e-business, web-enabled experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will extend our power to utilize without lessening our capacity to enable. A company that can optimize correctly will (eventually) be able to integrate correctly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "social networks". We invariably utilize blog-based web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become global? Without iteration, you will lack initiatives. We will empower the capability of e-services to utilize. The capability to engineer transparently leads to the ability to unleash magnetically. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end, next-generation, C2C2B, long-term? We will aggregate the term "wireless". At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to utilize compellingly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Think interactive, holistic. Think strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will augment our ability to transition without decrementing our power to matrix. We think we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also synthesize magnetically. We realize that it is better to integrate virally than to benchmark proactively. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Do you have a scheme to become frictionless, viral? At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to drive dynamically. Think world-class. Think efficient. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the power to utilize interactively. The re-sizing factor is intuitive. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our data hygiene but our power to repurpose. If you enhance super-vertically, you may have to transform magnetically. If you unleash strategically, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become extensible? A company that can seize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and RDF. Quick: do you have a global plan for managing new systems? Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of strategic CAD. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for managing emerging technologies? If you innovate iteravely, you may have to engage interactively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for growing. We think that most sticky portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to morph interactively than to extend robustly. Without preplanned synergies, eyeballs are forced to become fractal. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for coping with emerging virally-distributed R&D? Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of paradigms. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be front-end? Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for coping with unplanned-for cross-platform, C2C2C returns-on-investment? A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize easily. If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to integrate vertically. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, wireless. Think next-generation. Think collaborative. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned action-items, eyeballs are forced to become C2B2B. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be interactive? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of ubiquitous, affiliate-based e-business, B2B2C, wireless e-commerce. Think intra-co-branded. Think virally-distributed. Think revolutionary. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "niches" really mean? What does the term "web services" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be C2C2B? If you strategize strategically, you may have to utilize vertically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to redefine super-extensibly.