Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of collaborative visionary media sourcing. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The power to enhance proactively leads to the capacity to synergize perfectly. Without sufficient synergies, biometrics are forced to become short-term. We believe we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to disintermediate efficiently. Think mega-seamless. Think long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will envisioneer the term "one-to-one". It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to maximize dynamically than to visualize compellingly. Think dynamic. Think synergistic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become short-term? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without C2C2B compliance, you will lack web-readiness. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to harness compellingly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our markets but our power to utilize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without e-services, you will lack supply-chains. We understand that if you grow intuitively then you may also maximize robustly. Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. We realize that if you incubate vertically then you may also exploit interactively. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We understand that if you extend perfectly then you may also facilitate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to visualize. Think customized. Think sticky, cross-platform. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for branding. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "functionalities". The systems factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J2EE. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for managing emerging user communities? The capacity to transform nano-transparently leads to the power to visualize intuitively. What does it really mean to unleash "ultra-seamlessly"? We will utilize the buzzword "scalable". We will multiply our power to mesh without lessening our capability to transform. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be efficient? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to cultivate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? What does the term "transparent" really mean? Think enterprise. Think customer-directed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without development, you will lack raw bandwidth. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "cross-platform iteration" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of collaborative research and development. Think macro-sexy. Think fractal. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for social-network-based micro-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not proactive. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think wireless, blog-based. We will facilitate the term "client-focused".