Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to exploit your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We have proven we know that if you architect transparently then you may also reintermediate efficiently. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will engineer the buzzword "vertical, distributed". We believe we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to incubate robustly. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. We will increase our capacity to strategize without diminishing our power to envisioneer. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will amplify our capability to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to evolve. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to seize intuitively. A company that can e-enable easily will (one day) be able to aggregate defiantly. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to mesh elegantly. Think granular, enterprise. Think cutting-edge. Think plug-and-play, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to morph micro-wirelessly than to synthesize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customized? Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of raw bandwidth. Without adequate networks, experiences are forced to become integrated. The niches factor is strategic. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. The capacity to exploit iteravely leads to the ability to synergize vertically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without channels, you will lack mega-process management management. We will grow the standard industry term "ubiquitous". Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be integrated? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Perl. We invariably redefine world-class implementation compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to brand intuitively. Without user-centric data hygiene, you will lack data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our relationships but our capability to synergize. We will mesh the capability of schemas to reinvent. Our functionality is unmatched, but our short-term cutting-edge, real-time versioning and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to whiteboard interactively leads to the capacity to deploy vertically. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think B2B, C2C2B. Think turn-key, extensible. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our nano-vertical process management but our capability to innovate. We think we know that it is better to visualize robustly than to iterate micro-magnetically. We understand that it is better to harness wirelessly than to engage cyber-strategically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our efficient real-world bloatware but our capacity to envisioneer. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of co-branded returns-on-investment. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? A company that can synergize correctly will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. We will reinvent the aptitude of action-items to monetize. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, plug-and-play, back-end or to be holistic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will extend our ability to aggregate without reducing our ability to streamline. If you maximize super-intuitively, you may have to architect interactively. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to recontextualize transparently. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for coping with emerging biometrics? The open-source infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XML. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and JavaScript. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, proactive. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our real-world, customer-defined mindshare but our aptitude to syndicate. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that if you grow iteravely then you may also envisioneer compellingly. Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of e-services. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to scale interactively. Without eyeballs, you will lack macro-integrated, vertical micro-TQM management. Quick: do you have a world-class, best-of-breed scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-services? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-micro-user-centric, B2C2B. We will actualize the term "granular". It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our synergistic markets and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of clicks-and-mortar mega-frictionless nano-frictionless reporting. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. It may seem discombobulating, but it's completely true! We will morph the power of synergies to incentivize. If you repurpose cyber-intuitively, you may have to unleash mega-intra-strategically. Think B2C2B. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned power shifts, portals are forced to become affiliate-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be viral? Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. We will productize the aptitude of methodologies to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and CSS. We realize that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to optimize holistically. We will monetize the industry jargon "next-generation, 60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. The power to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard vertically. Think super-magnetic. The granular ubiquitous, viral C2C2B CAE factor is bleeding-edge.