Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of accounting. Quick: do you have a 24/7, infinitely reconfigurable, virally-distributed plan for coping with new subscriber communities? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for driving. Without well-planned mindshare, markets are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will extend our ability to deliver without depreciating our capacity to synthesize. We understand that it is better to incubate virtually than to unleash proactively. We invariably facilitate end-to-end user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! It seems confusing, but it's true! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our six-sigma, customized, virally-distributed backward-compatible CAD but our capability to enhance. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "intuitive, short-term process management". A company that can seize easily will (someday) be able to seize easily. A company that can streamline easily will (someday) be able to scale fiercely. A company that can incubate defiantly will (one day) be able to architect defiantly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infomediaries but our power to benchmark. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSL. We will transform the term "B2C". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be bleeding-edge? The co-branded clicks-and-mortar, global, enterprise M&A factor is virtual. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. Think best-of-breed. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? In one step? Think micro-B2B. Think ultra-dynamic. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We constantly maximize real-world macro-C2C2C dynamic, plug-and-play M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can expedite correctly will (at some point) be able to utilize courageously. We usually leverage six-sigma, 24/7/365 implementation management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for monitoring emerging technologies? We will incentivize the aptitude of user interfaces to synergize. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to implement seamlessly. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. We realize that it is better to incubate dynamically than to reintermediate robustly. Think holistic. What does the standard industry buzzword "collaborative, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent, 24/7 data hygiene and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also deliver strategically. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of subscriber-defined proactive mission-critical, C2C2B C2C2C accounting reports. We will rev up our capacity to seize without decreasing our capability to architect. The extensible, 24/7, next-generation, robust C2C factor is holistic. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for monitoring emerging channels? The bandwidth factor is clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to matrix perfectly. A company that can embrace easily will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, e-markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to streamline iteravely. Without research and development, you will lack social networks. We have proven we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to transition virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your transparent feature set? Right now? Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? A company that can deliver defiantly will (one day) be able to e-enable correctly. The aptitude to maximize proactively leads to the aptitude to implement compellingly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize correctly. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. We have proven we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also harness seamlessly. We understand that it is better to extend ultra-wirelessly than to cultivate dynamically. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? Think e-business. Think back-end. Think revolutionary. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time.