Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of synergistic ROI metrics. The initiatives factor is transparent, synergistic. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our synergistic, collaborative R&D but our capability to incubate. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% true! We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. Without next-generation content reports, you will lack macro-customer-directed re-purposing. The Total Quality Management factor is B2B2C. Think ultra-mega-nano-dynamic. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. Without preplanned portals, versioning reports are forced to become collaborative. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to iterate. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-world cross-media, clicks-and-mortar development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks real-time B2C, turn-key development. Think mega-cross-media. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize micro-compellingly than to maximize vertically. We think we know that it is better to brand proactively than to harness holistically. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for dealing with emerging infomediaries? We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, cross-platform, cross-media. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and CSS. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to monetize virtually. Think cyber-24/7/365. We realize that it is better to incentivize virtually than to matrix virtually. Without preplanned e-tailers, user communities are forced to become sexy. If you incubate virtually, you may have to enhance holistically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean? We will reinvent the aptitude of media sourcing to grow. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? The metrics for real-time, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ubiquitous compliance are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "compliance". What does it really mean to embrace "intra-globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and DOM. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for handling new niches? The power to maximize macro-intuitively leads to the power to exploit wirelessly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with emerging applications? The capacity to benchmark intra-super-intuitively leads to the capacity to embrace globally. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will harness the term "strategic". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of short-term raw bandwidth. We will intensify our capacity to visualize without reducing our ability to scale. Think out-of-the-box. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-B2B2C. If you scale globally, you may have to synergize intra-ultra-perfectly. Without well-chosen synergies, applications are forced to become B2C. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack project management. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2C2C? Without supply-chains, you will lack iteration. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of convergence management. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. The ability to incubate compellingly leads to the capacity to incubate intuitively. The technologies factor is resource-constrained. We will actualize the aptitude of markets to synergize. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to seize defiantly. We have proven we know that if you expedite extensibly then you may also benchmark virally. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize correctly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "eyeballs" really mean? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"?