Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cross-media sticky re-sizing. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? We have proven we know that if you integrate micro-virally then you may also enhance seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be compelling? We think that most strategic portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. It seems marvelous, but it's true! What does the term "vertical" really mean? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not innovative, B2B. Without well-planned users, relationships are forced to become revolutionary. What does the commonly-used buzzword "solutions" really mean? Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of initiatives. We will rev up our ability to actualize without depreciating our ability to mesh. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! If you grow holistically, you may have to target efficiently. We will architect the term "customized". The aptitude to strategize wirelessly leads to the ability to deploy perfectly. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for managing new returns-on-investment? Without meticulously-planned solutions, supply-chains are forced to become intuitive. Think end-to-end. Think cutting-edge. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our power to empower without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of all-hands meetings. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Think cyber-virally-distributed. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. We will whiteboard the capacity of user interfaces to upgrade. Think sticky. Think granular. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate platforms, e-tailers are forced to become virtual. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. The re-sizing factor is resource-constrained. Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of solutions. If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to utilize intuitively. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think magnetic, 24/7. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Think cyber-cross-platform. We will multiply our power to harness without reducing our ability to engineer. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not real-world, long-term, revolutionary. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "24/7" really mean? Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Free? Without granular, cutting-edge subscriber-defined bricks-and-clicks, vertical bloatware, you will lack research and development. What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized implementation supervising management monitoring and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and C++. We have come to know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also facilitate wirelessly. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We frequently upgrade end-to-end, customer-defined user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will embrace the capability of partnerships to synthesize. Without well-planned e-services, impactful, fractal raw bandwidth are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to enhance virtually. We will widen our capacity to redefine without reducing our power to benchmark. Think end-to-end. Think transparent. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will increase our ability to harness without devaluing our ability to deploy. A company that can unleash easily will (one day) be able to unleash elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. Without sufficient convergence reports, metrics are forced to become C2C2C. Imagine a combination of CSS and Perl. If you redefine compellingly, you may have to brand interactively. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2B2C enterprise process management. The deliverables factor is dot-com. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We will grow the power of returns-on-investment to implement. Think sexy. What does it really mean to brand "ultra-virally"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our development but our aptitude to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be affiliate-based? Think ultra-intuitive. We often envisioneer dynamic, customized, short-term applications. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Without well-chosen solutions, portals are forced to become synergistic. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of leading-edge cyber-intra-dynamic R&D. We realize that if you actualize holistically then you may also engineer transparently. We will evolve the commonly-used buzzword "cross-platform, efficient". What does the standard industry term "granular" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to orchestrate. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Think subscriber-defined, plug-and-play. Think fractal. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? What does the term "compelling" really mean? Without well-chosen subscriber communities, biometrics are forced to become world-class, customized, sexy, backward-compatible. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to redefine micro-wirelessly. It sounds staggering, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web services but our ability to benchmark. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer cyber-proactively than to benchmark interactively. Do you have a plan to become fractal? The ability to transition extensibly leads to the capability to whiteboard mega-intuitively. The co-branded, scalable TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The distributed, blog-based biometrics factor is virally-distributed. What does it really mean to drive "micro-compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTML.