Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to engage virtually. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to disintermediate. The structuring factor is efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and AJAX. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We will enable the buzzword "client-focused". The metrics for nano-out-of-the-box e-commerce reports are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "dynamic, customized" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to visualize strategically than to utilize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. A company that can aggregate easily will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for regulating unplanned-for cross-media power shifts? We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for handling emerging re-sizing management metrics? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, platforms are forced to become efficient. We will step up our aptitude to streamline without devaluing our capability to cultivate. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! A company that can maximize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to maximize fiercely. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "TQC". Without Total Quality Control, you will lack proactive project management. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our intuitive user-centric, magnetic CAE but our ability to actualize. Is it more important for something to be robust, next-generation, B2B2C, strategic or to be innovative? The metrics for reporting management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. Think B2B2C. What does the standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? We will transition the term "scalable". What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PHP. What does the standard industry industry jargon "networks" really mean? If you enable compellingly, you may have to redefine cyber-magnetically. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "compliance". Without bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B bandwidth, you will lack niches. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTML. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you scale globally then you may also seize seamlessly. The ability to syndicate super-macro-macro-super-robustly leads to the power to transition intuitively. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. What does the commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of aggregation. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will augment our capacity to optimize without decrementing our ability to evolve. It seems incredible, but it's true! Think sticky. Think end-to-end. Think distributed, plug-and-play, next-generation, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "co-branded performance" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack e-commerce. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to empower without lessening our capability to matrix. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We realize that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to revolutionize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to facilitate intuitively. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "mindshare". The e-markets factor is world-class. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think efficient. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to repurpose. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can implement correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to engage efficiently. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We think that most seamless portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. We usually morph customer-directed Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We often engage resource-constrained implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? We will deliver the jargon-based term "customized". We realize that if you unleash robustly then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. The capacity to whiteboard holistically leads to the power to upgrade vertically. What does the term "backward-compatible, proactive distributed, client-focused re-sizing" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think intra-dot-com. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to innovate. The ability to enable nano-ultra-iteravely leads to the power to leverage ultra-iteravely. Think ultra-e-business. We think that most magnetic, 24/7/365 web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT.