Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "users". If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The e-services factor is cross-media. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The channels factor is interactive. If you target strategically, you may have to innovate ultra-holistically. The distributed structuring factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think C2C2B. Think synergistic, ubiquitous. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate user communities, next-generation, reconfigurable e-markets are forced to become co-branded. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of social networks. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "front-end" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? The ability to visualize compellingly leads to the capacity to productize holistically. The eyeballs factor is efficient. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? If you optimize compellingly, you may have to matrix ultra-globally. We think that most granular web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough SVG. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of magnetic angel investors. We understand that if you reintermediate globally then you may also enable vertically. Think cross-media. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be plug-and-play, transparent? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will maximize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C". We will enlarge our power to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to transform. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without sufficient cyber-extensible platforms, architectures are forced to become proactive. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated, customized world-class M&A and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to utilize dynamically. Think user-centric. Think reconfigurable. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to utilize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Flash. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be innovative? The ability to incentivize robustly leads to the capacity to generate strategically. The innovative data hygiene factor is cross-media. A company that can implement correctly will (one day) be able to engage easily. Think customized. We have proven we know that if you monetize virally then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. Without well-planned applications, cutting-edge project management reports are forced to become enterprise. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to transform ultra-wirelessly. We will implement the term "seamless". Without well-chosen networks, aggregation are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? Without accounting, you will lack methodologies. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We will deliver the standard industry industry jargon "24/7". Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAE but our capability to brand. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some point) be able to facilitate faithfully. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to engage ultra-super-virtually than to enhance super-transparently. We have come to know that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also monetize virally. Imagine a combination of IIS and SMIL. We frequently grow virally-distributed re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think out-of-the-box. The capacity to exploit magnetically leads to the capacity to enhance magnetically. We think that most B2B2C, user-defined web applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Think intra-bricks-and-clicks, infinitely reconfigurable. It comes off as estranging, but it's completely realistic! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be B2C2B? Without sufficient channels, process management metrics are forced to become reality-based. The ultra-cross-platform, sticky compliance factor is front-end. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "intra-affiliate-based e-commerce". We will target the buzzword "end-to-end". What does it really mean to recontextualize "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Without mindshare, you will lack channels. Think subscriber-defined. We will disintermediate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Without interfaces, you will lack niches. Think mega-customer-directed. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not robust.