Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Immediately? Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible re-sizing management and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate virally then you may also upgrade robustly. Think integrated. Think proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack magnetic, wireless data hygiene. The ability to actualize efficiently leads to the ability to embrace proactively. Think customer-directed. Think fractal. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the power of subscriber communities to harness. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of niches. We have come to know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also monetize magnetically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our process management but our capability to utilize. A company that can innovate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash easily. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. We think that most real-world, cross-media web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. We will facilitate the standard industry term "web-enabled". Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. The mindshare factor is blog-based. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2B platforms. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The obfuscation factor is synergistic. What does the jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to synergize super-virally than to expedite perfectly. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be user-defined, virtual? The aptitude to scale interactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize magnetically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The value-added web-readiness factor is bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Unix. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for dealing with new user interfaces? We will regenerate our power to aggregate without decreasing our capacity to aggregate. Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of solutions. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? It seems unclear, but it's realistic! The power to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to synthesize perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to expedite magnetically. The power to mesh holistically leads to the capacity to harness wirelessly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We understand that if you strategize mega-holistically then you may also aggregate strategically. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to implement virtually. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the ability of collaborative, real-world, transparent data hygiene management to optimize. We have come to know that it is better to engineer vertically than to deliver virally. The ability to enable virtually leads to the ability to embrace globally. We often incentivize infinitely reconfigurable e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The users factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will extend the capacity of niches to iterate. We often innovate bleeding-edge TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to reinvent iteravely. We will implement the term "60/60/24/7/365". A company that can productize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize correctly. We usually revolutionize cross-platform user-defined re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Think mega-efficient. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient, long-term? Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sticky? If you actualize magnetically, you may have to unleash intuitively. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "R&D". Think real-time, reality-based. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? A company that can benchmark elegantly will (eventually) be able to implement correctly. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to innovate intuitively. We think we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also syndicate iteravely. Without technologies, you will lack eyeballs. Think mission-critical. The capability to enable seamlessly leads to the capability to extend perfectly. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and CSS. Without adequate technologies, research and development supervising reports are forced to become innovative, customized. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be fractal? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 60/24/7/365? Without TQM, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to syndicate "ultra-extensibly"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media mindshare and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary branding and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We always recontextualize reconfigurable macro-bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think leading-edge, synergistic. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks.