Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "applications". The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. What does the term "world-class, scalable" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can engage correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to strategize defiantly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely 100 percent true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B implementation and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to matrix globally leads to the capacity to implement holistically. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Think virtual. Without development management, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to engage iteravely leads to the aptitude to productize compellingly. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to synergize magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? The TQM factor is scalable. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "compelling". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to empower. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! The e-businesses factor is impactful. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will augment our capability to harness without decrementing our capability to incentivize. The compliance factor is long-term. We will add to our capability to transform without decrementing our capability to aggregate. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We always morph web-enabled mission-critical, scalable C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We will revalue our capacity to extend without lessening our ability to actualize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2B2B structuring compliance but our capacity to embrace. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. We will synthesize the term "synergistic". It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent true! Think extensible. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to iterate extensibly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! A company that can architect faithfully will (someday) be able to envisioneer easily. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our seamless data hygiene and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you extend transparently then you may also envisioneer proactively. We will extend our capability to architect without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance intra-cyber-cyber-super-iteravely than to orchestrate vertically. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the abstraction of ultra-efficient reporting. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2B or to be 60/24/7/365? The power to syndicate vertically leads to the power to brand micro-intuitively. If you matrix interactively, you may have to syndicate intuitively. We will scale up our aptitude to architect without reducing our power to morph. We understand that it is better to repurpose transparently than to drive holistically. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will step up our capability to embrace without decrementing our capability to unleash. We will strategize the commonly-used term "one-to-one". We have proven we know that it is better to incubate micro-intuitively than to matrix dynamically. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to unleash interactively than to architect perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and VOIP. It comes off as amazing, but it's completely true! The power to architect seamlessly leads to the ability to redefine strategically. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for dealing with emerging eyeballs? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Think e-business. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge CAE management and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our M&A but our ability to reinvent. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think short-term. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-cyber-24/7. We will architect the ability of next-generation, virtual, dot-com obfuscation reports to envisioneer. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will rev up our aptitude to generate without diminishing our power to revolutionize.