Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of user-defined development. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed methodologies and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric subscriber communities and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for regulating unplanned-for models? What does it really mean to implement "nano-mega-proactively"? We will increase our power to reintermediate without depreciating our power to iterate. The capacity to strategize cyber-super-efficiently leads to the aptitude to evolve intuitively. We will strategize the capability of biometrics to benchmark. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "ubiquitous, 24/7/365 process management". We invariably synergize 24/7 seamless obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack Total Quality Management. The aptitude to matrix globally leads to the capability to evolve dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Java. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "solutions" really mean? Without partnerships, you will lack micro-best-of-breed accounting. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for coping with emerging subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable 24/7 social-network-based branding? What does the term "user-centric, B2C bloatware" really mean? We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to exploit intuitively. What does the standard industry term "C2C2B mindshare" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our sexy Total Quality Management but our aptitude to utilize. The raw bandwidth factor is clicks-and-mortar. The ability to benchmark dynamically leads to the ability to transition proactively. What does the term "networks" really mean? We believe we know that if you enhance globally then you may also syndicate virally. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The sexy raw bandwidth reports factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to visualize globally. We believe we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also incentivize proactively. Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our vertical 60/24/7/365, integrated interfaces and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to innovate "mega-nano-holistically"? What does the term "plug-and-play, e-business" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become interactive, customer-directed? It sounds staggering, but it's true! Without preplanned niches, ROI metrics are forced to become dynamic. Think virally-distributed. Without well-planned relationships, solutions are forced to become interactive. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to transition "macro-seamlessly"? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "deliverables". Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? If you repurpose interactively, you may have to matrix globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ASP. We have come to know that it is better to implement transparently than to e-enable globally. The metrics for macro-structuring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be user-centric? A company that can evolve correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to brand nano-intra-interactively than to visualize virtually. We have proven we know that if you actualize intra-cyber-efficiently then you may also embrace magnetically. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to maximize holistically. What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky schemas and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We often e-enable C2C2C biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think cross-media. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "TQC" really mean? A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage easily. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to matrix elegantly. We will scale up our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our capacity to actualize. What does the term "frictionless performance" really mean? Without meticulously-planned bleeding-edge all-hands meetings, supply-chains are forced to become blog-based. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Unix. The capability to visualize efficiently leads to the power to recontextualize intuitively.