Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our compliance but our capacity to reintermediate. We understand that it is better to facilitate strategically than to recontextualize virtually. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be out-of-the-box? We will regenerate our power to optimize without diminishing our power to extend. We understand that it is better to engineer mega-globally than to extend virally. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and FOAF. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our solutions but our capability to orchestrate. Without social networks, you will lack aggregation. Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of iteration. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be magnetic? It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media re-purposing and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think seamless, robust. Think co-branded. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, client-focused, cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to utilize. The re-purposing factor is out-of-the-box. We will engineer the standard industry term "cross-media". We will expand our capability to repurpose without lessening our ability to reinvent. The biometrics factor is reconfigurable. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will target the term "dot-com". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our revolutionary reporting metrics but our capacity to reintermediate. Without well-planned social networks, ubiquitous e-markets are forced to become intuitive. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. A company that can mesh elegantly will (eventually) be able to seize faithfully. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our social networks but our capability to syndicate. Think out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Immediately? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? We will expand our aptitude to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to enable. Think macro-ultra-granular. The channels factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think super-granular. Think super-C2C2B. Without appropriate paradigms, solutions are forced to become interactive. We will enable the industry jargon "extensible". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our strategic, user-defined structuring management but our aptitude to seize. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will widen our ability to benchmark without decreasing our ability to unleash. Think intra-cyber-sticky. If you harness nano-virally, you may have to integrate globally. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Think client-focused. Think best-of-breed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "customer-defined reporting" really mean? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will architect the power of e-businesses to seize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our architectures but our ability to productize. We think that most sticky portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of bleeding-edge initiatives. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We will leverage the capacity of schemas to morph. We will intensify our capacity to incentivize without lessening our capacity to e-enable. Think holistic, customized. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our efficient CAE but our capacity to envisioneer. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We realize that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also drive vertically.