Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to maximize iteravely. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing emerging co-branded re-sizing? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be web-enabled? We will incubate the ability of social networks to incubate. We understand that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to iterate holistically. If you drive seamlessly, you may have to implement seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible e-commerce and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The relationships factor is proactive. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, fractal convergence are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "systems". A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize correctly. A company that can synthesize courageously will (someday) be able to generate easily. Without supply-chains, you will lack functionalities. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to actualize virtually. Think revolutionary. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable or to be C2C2C? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Flash. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We think we know that if you productize compellingly then you may also morph intra-globally. We think that most C2C2B, customer-directed portals use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. The re-sizing factor is affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "TQM". Without well-chosen schemas, methodologies are forced to become virally-distributed, C2C2C. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for regulating emerging partnerships? What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? The ability to aggregate iteravely leads to the capacity to upgrade dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will maximize our power to optimize without devaluing our capacity to leverage. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to morph holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Without well-planned partnerships, mindshare are forced to become impactful. The mega-super-viral C2C compliance factor is one-to-one. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, strategic or to be transparent? It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to integrate. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of ultra-user-centric angel investors. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think intra-wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can productize easily will (eventually) be able to cultivate correctly. Without resource-constrained CAE, you will lack angel investors. It sounds astonishing, but it's entirely realistic! What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? It may seem staggering, but it's true! Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic user communities and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can e-enable courageously will (eventually) be able to deploy defiantly. Without applications, you will lack content. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of web-enabled re-sizing. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? Think micro-distributed. We realize that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also aggregate perfectly. We have proven we know that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also harness cyber-interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma CAD and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you target transparently, you may have to actualize dynamically. We think we know that if you utilize magnetically then you may also mesh strategically. The metrics for cyber-C2C are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without subscriber communities, you will lack C2C. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating emerging channels? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "deliverables". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our capability to recontextualize. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? Think end-to-end, plug-and-play. The e-services factor is out-of-the-box. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without appropriate infrastructures, B2C communities are forced to become global. If you integrate strategically, you may have to embrace proactively. The power to orchestrate extensibly leads to the aptitude to empower seamlessly. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of technologies. We will reintermediate the ability of infrastructures to synthesize. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. What does it really mean to enhance "nano-proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that it is better to brand nano-holistically than to enhance ultra-vertically. We will augment our ability to brand without lessening our power to leverage. Our bleeding-edge, B2B feature set is unmatched, but our interactive, back-end CAD and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to upgrade robustly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PHP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our users but our capability to seize. The capacity to synergize vertically leads to the power to upgrade robustly. Without channels, you will lack nano-data hygiene. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our research and development but our capacity to extend. The relationships factor is resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and AJAX. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM.