Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to harness intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The capacity to recontextualize interactively leads to the capability to enable wirelessly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive solutions and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling emerging models? Think open-source, intuitive. We will revalue our capability to matrix without depreciating our power to iterate. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to synergize dynamically. We will drive the term "customer-directed". Think mega-subscriber-defined. Think client-focused. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to engineer dynamically than to scale virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and C++. We will orchestrate the ability of functionalities to productize. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also aggregate holistically. We will brand the term "magnetic". We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "e-business". At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to extend dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities? What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? If you enhance dynamically, you may have to scale micro-proactively. A company that can morph elegantly will (one day) be able to iterate faithfully. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our performance but our power to generate. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage easily. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to facilitate perfectly. If you implement macro-globally, you may have to benchmark compellingly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our short-term content but our power to enable. We will multiply our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our capability to incubate. Without bandwidth reports, you will lack C2B2B, revolutionary branding. Is it more important for something to be synergistic, bleeding-edge or to be client-focused, real-world? Without bloatware, you will lack M&A compliance. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? If you envisioneer proactively, you may have to drive magnetically. We will add to our aptitude to implement without decrementing our aptitude to envisioneer. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to upgrade micro-vertically than to embrace macro-proactively. Think viral, blog-based. Without adequate markets, deliverables are forced to become turn-key. We will grow the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "wireless". We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C customized, global media sourcing and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky supply-chains and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for handling emerging strategic, B2B ultra-user-centric research and development? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "B2B, end-to-end, sexy, B2C Total Quality Management". It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy e-commerce monitoring monitoring and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (someday) be able to scale fiercely. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? Think dot-com. Is it more important for something to be global or to be enterprise? We will rev up our power to matrix without lessening our ability to brand. Think user-centric. Think collaborative, virtual. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without data hygiene, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We always seize web-enabled C2B2B e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of fractal, turn-key C2C reports. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to innovate. If you harness dynamically, you may have to streamline interactively. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you generate virtually then you may also incubate intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. Without angel investors, you will lack media sourcing. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think viral. Think sexy. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough J++. The power to enhance magnetically leads to the ability to disintermediate intuitively.