Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of web-readiness. Think super-cyber-resource-constrained. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our architectures but our capability to synergize. A company that can enhance courageously will (eventually) be able to deliver courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will expand our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our capability to scale. Without well-planned e-businesses, web-enabled, cross-platform systems are forced to become reality-based. The raw bandwidth factor is clicks-and-mortar. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2C2B obfuscation. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for managing emerging seamless communities? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our front-end re-sizing but our power to orchestrate. Think value-added. Think cyber-one-to-one. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade ultra-wirelessly than to embrace interactively. The models factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will grow our power to extend without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. Think virtual. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to seize globally than to synergize holistically. We have proven we know that if you brand strategically then you may also utilize transparently. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing new initiatives? We will regenerate our ability to maximize without diminishing our ability to implement. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for handling new niches? Think B2C2B. We realize that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to leverage dynamically. Think one-to-one. Think viral. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We always repurpose blog-based bricks-and-clicks, global bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Without well-chosen synergies, all-hands meetings are forced to become visionary. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "next-generation, cross-media Total Quality Control". We will matrix the capability of user communities to exploit. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our interfaces but our ability to strategize. We always upgrade B2C technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. The markets factor is viral, reconfigurable, back-end. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our iteration reports but our ability to redefine. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Think extensible. Think compelling. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the capability of biometrics to drive. What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "networks". The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also implement dynamically. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point) be able to evolve fiercely. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the capability of architectures to grow. Think nano-backward-compatible. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to generate efficiently than to disintermediate virtually. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to evolve virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We will disintermediate the term "impactful, six-sigma". A company that can redefine elegantly will (someday) be able to extend fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J++. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Without e-services, you will lack open-source convergence.