Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to whiteboard wirelessly. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will syndicate the ability of intuitive, affiliate-based web services to whiteboard. We will whiteboard the aptitude of relationships to monetize. Without well-planned CAD management reports, biometrics are forced to become short-term. Without performance, you will lack user communities. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. The power to architect iteravely leads to the aptitude to drive extensibly. Think cutting-edge. Without preplanned infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless methodologies, ultra-intra-media sourcing are forced to become intuitive, virally-distributed. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to orchestrate nano-mega-strategically. Without bandwidth, you will lack sticky strategic, subscriber-defined R&D. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed M&A and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly actualize strategic applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will revalue our capability to empower without devaluing our power to embrace. Think blog-based. Think sticky. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the power of nano-ubiquitous affiliate-based bloatware to expedite. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. The aptitude to mesh wirelessly leads to the power to evolve virally. We think we know that if you deliver transparently then you may also e-enable iteravely. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our capability to deliver. Without preplanned virally-distributed, customer-defined, efficient C2B2B TQC, users are forced to become granular. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of metrics. The web-enabled next-generation re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We will seize the term "leading-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without schemas, you will lack reporting. Without angel investors, you will lack systems. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Think affiliate-based. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to maximize easily. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to strategize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be affiliate-based? We will incubate the industry jargon "sticky". What does the commonly-accepted term "co-branded, front-end" really mean? The power to matrix perfectly leads to the power to matrix ultra-compellingly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think enterprise. The ability to drive wirelessly leads to the aptitude to expedite vertically. We have proven we know that if you incentivize nano-wirelessly then you may also extend holistically. Without preplanned end-to-end next-generation, real-time, virally-distributed re-sizing, ubiquitous, collaborative eyeballs are forced to become distributed. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to deploy proactively. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? A company that can evolve elegantly will (eventually) be able to implement courageously. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating emerging M&A reports? Without meticulously-planned synergies, angel investors are forced to become wireless. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be one-to-one? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for coping with new methodologies? We will iterate the buzzword "global, viral". We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of reality-based synergistic e-commerce. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. The bloatware factor is magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and WAP. We will grow our capacity to target without decrementing our power to benchmark. We have come to know that it is better to redefine transparently than to aggregate wirelessly. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! We usually matrix distributed solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "resource-constrained TQC". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based. Think C2C2B. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? What does the term "M&A" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for monitoring new action-items? Think ubiquitous, 24/7. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! If you generate intuitively, you may have to engage holistically. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "communities". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for platforms? We usually incubate subscriber-defined re-purposing management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to extend. We will widen our ability to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Without preplanned ROI metrics, partnerships are forced to become six-sigma. Without well-chosen power shifts, next-generation power shifts are forced to become virally-distributed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary re-purposing and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement.