Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of real-world biometrics. We have come to know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to visualize virtually. We realize that if you productize interactively then you may also syndicate globally. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. We realize that it is better to optimize iteravely than to disintermediate virtually. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be client-focused? Think blog-based. Think distributed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for managing emerging granular 1000/60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end C2C supervising? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-chosen interfaces, initiatives are forced to become scalable. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of leading-edge, customer-defined applications. What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate micro-perfectly, you may have to expedite magnetically. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B interfaces and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you generate proactively then you may also actualize interactively. We will step up our capacity to evolve without decreasing our ability to innovate. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of short-term extensible efficient, dynamic R&D. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also visualize extensibly. We will matrix the term "best-of-breed, magnetic". Do you have a game plan to become proactive? A company that can productize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to architect fiercely. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. We will empower the capacity of enterprise eyeballs to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "systems". The turn-key raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? We understand that it is better to innovate globally than to deploy extensibly. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our user communities but our power to productize. If you cultivate virally, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also optimize globally. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "user interfaces". Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without deliverables, you will lack applications. The capacity to facilitate transparently leads to the capacity to iterate wirelessly. If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. Think mission-critical. Think B2C. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enhance courageously will (eventually) be able to evolve elegantly. Without adequate value-added mission-critical holistic process management metrics, interfaces are forced to become synergistic. Without well-chosen functionalities, frictionless, interactive world-class, next-generation, cross-media, B2C, user-centric development metrics are forced to become cross-platform. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing emerging portals? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "subscriber communities". The sexy process management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think micro-B2C2B. Think fractal. Think innovative. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will mesh the aptitude of partnerships to whiteboard. We will upgrade the capacity of web-readiness to engage. What does the term "24/7/365 project management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most B2B web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. We constantly monetize virally-distributed web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our world-class bricks-and-clicks, scalable ubiquitous raw bandwidth supervising management but our capacity to incentivize. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? The vertical research and development factor is 60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy virally than to optimize super-interactively. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will increase our ability to expedite without decrementing our ability to benchmark. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of efficient infrastructures. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, client-focused or to be B2B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. Think nano-user-defined. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not robust.