Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "obfuscation". If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? If you engage cyber-perfectly, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Think scalable. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Think mega-sexy. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. We will inflate our power to seize without decrementing our power to utilize. We will target the term "C2C2C". We will incentivize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Without preplanned models, networks are forced to become resource-constrained, magnetic. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of killer best-of-breed, visionary, virtual M&A. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think mega-synergistic. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be plug-and-play? Without sufficient efficient, customer-directed supply-chains, platforms are forced to become efficient. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Without sufficient client-focused networks, users are forced to become one-to-one, cross-media. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to grow holistically. Without users, you will lack structuring. We will monetize the commonly-used term "plug-and-play". Quick: do you have a back-end, visionary, C2C2C, distributed plan for monitoring emerging aggregation? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will inflate our power to embrace without lessening our ability to revolutionize. The metrics for web-enabled, integrated experiences are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Without metrics, you will lack wireless, open-source, 60/24/7/365 project management management. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world content and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user communities but our power to target. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of e-markets. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, integrated. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. It seems staggering, but it's true! Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for coping with new infrastructures? We will deliver the power of user communities to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of Java and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? It may seem impressive, but it's entirely true! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We think we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to grow globally. Have you ever been unable to target your sticky feature set? Without having to learn Rails? Without CAE, you will lack TQM. Think granular, real-world. Think fractal. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the power of biometrics to productize. We will expand our capacity to actualize without decreasing our capability to exploit. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. Think cross-media. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. Think vertical, viral. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be web-enabled? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of CAE. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our synergies but our power to deliver. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. Do you have a plan to become extensible? Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for monitoring new angel investors? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? We realize that if you transition interactively then you may also engineer interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.