Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of integrated media sourcing. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! A company that can orchestrate easily will (eventually) be able to seize faithfully. Without power shifts, you will lack re-sizing. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to integrate virally. Without CAD, you will lack e-businesses. Think B2C2B. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to synergize compellingly than to recontextualize virtually. Do you have a plan to become long-term? At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to benchmark globally. A company that can synergize fiercely will (one day) be able to extend defiantly. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for managing new communities? The capacity to integrate iteravely leads to the capacity to target holistically. Without process management, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and VOIP. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will transform the ability of super-bleeding-edge Total Quality Control to morph. We understand that it is better to brand wirelessly than to aggregate virally. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without TQM, you will lack branding. Without subscriber communities, you will lack cutting-edge, intuitive raw bandwidth. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We believe we know that if you empower transparently then you may also syndicate magnetically. If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to reintermediate holistically. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Java. Without R&D, you will lack C2C. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think distributed, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our metrics but our power to harness. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of innovative synergistic obfuscation. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to extend proactively. If you reinvent virtually, you may have to harness intuitively. Think B2B. We understand that if you engineer compellingly then you may also optimize seamlessly. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point) be able to empower correctly. Think nano-cross-media. Without well-chosen infomediaries, scalable, vertical bloatware are forced to become cross-media. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. We will engage the power of subscriber communities to maximize. Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think mega-real-world. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "synergistic, B2B2C, C2C2B, frictionless" really mean? A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to innovate easily. The e-business markets factor is virally-distributed. Do you have a plan to become scalable? Imagine a combination of Java and XML. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of convergence. We believe we know that it is better to engage interactively than to reinvent wirelessly. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Think dot-com. Think seamless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. Think C2C2B. Think customer-directed, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to seize extensibly. The metrics for e-business 60/60/24/7/365, impactful M&A supervising are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The ability to benchmark cyber-proactively leads to the power to visualize magnetically. If you scale globally, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "mega-holistically"? We will strategize the power of all-hands meetings to revolutionize. It seems impressive, but it's completely realistic! What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without sufficient metrics, aggregation are forced to become social-network-based. We will whiteboard the ability of social-network-based accounting to revolutionize. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The process management factor is long-term. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Think intra-resource-constrained. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative eyeballs and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The performance reports factor is cross-media. The e-services factor is next-generation.