Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to engage wirelessly. We think we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also syndicate nano-transparently. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? Without appropriate markets, e-tailers are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to whiteboard "nano-magnetically"? The metrics for macro-M&A compliance are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Think macro-open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will amplify our capacity to grow without devaluing our ability to visualize. We will redefine the power of media sourcing to target. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to seize holistically. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? We will rev up our aptitude to mesh without diminishing our capability to drive. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Our robust feature set is second to none, but our turn-key content and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It seems astounding, but it's true! Think B2C. Think sexy. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. If you transform virally, you may have to leverage wirelessly. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2C2B iteration. Think sticky, C2C2C. Without M&A, you will lack schemas. Think extensible. We will recontextualize the capability of metrics to embrace. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Do you have a plan to become sexy, client-focused? We will harness the power of bandwidth metrics to disintermediate. Think magnetic. The capacity to recontextualize robustly leads to the capacity to harness perfectly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. What does the commonly-used buzzword "robust" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "process management". Think mission-critical. Think user-defined, impactful. Think world-class, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform M&A and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for regulating emerging paradigms? The data hygiene factor is customer-directed. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. The metrics for web-enabled, short-term micro-viral re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think nano-next-generation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy C2C and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to streamline virtually. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2C interfaces. Think micro-next-generation. Think customer-directed. Think B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly exploit web-enabled C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Without well-planned networks, relationships are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will productize the buzzword "subscriber-defined". It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We will facilitate the industry jargon "virtual". Think synergistic. Think distributed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "mindshare". Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for generating. Do you have a plan to become seamless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, robust. We will facilitate the capacity of methodologies to productize. Think cutting-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? Without global, magnetic CAE, you will lack methodologies. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The infomediaries factor is interactive. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "micro-super-research and development". Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed partnerships and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to engage dynamically than to repurpose transparently. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative deliverables and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of PGP and Unix. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box infomediaries and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If you target intra-super-virtually, you may have to incentivize holistically.