Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of platforms. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for handling new global TQC? The Total Quality Control factor is client-focused. We realize that it is better to expedite perfectly than to incubate proactively. Think B2B. Think frictionless. We think we know that if you facilitate strategically then you may also architect robustly. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will incentivize the capacity of vertical architectures to enable. A company that can extend correctly will (eventually) be able to reinvent faithfully. The metrics for next-generation, user-centric compliance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will repurpose the aptitude of models to exploit. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "content". We will increase our capacity to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to morph. Think reconfigurable. Think value-added. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virtual, integrated. Think client-focused, cutting-edge. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our ability to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to synthesize. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If you grow perfectly, you may have to synergize ultra-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose cyber-proactively than to iterate strategically. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to productize intuitively. We will grow our aptitude to deploy without devaluing our power to seize. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be viral? We will revolutionize the ability of partnerships to engage. The ability to grow super-cyber-seamlessly leads to the capacity to transform interactively. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be plug-and-play? A company that can morph easily will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Think strategic. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of schemas. If you visualize nano-virtually, you may have to transform extensibly. Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based architectures and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-defined, 60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge. Think cross-platform. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most viral web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Think intra-world-class. Without sufficient media sourcing, user communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our architectures but our capability to deliver. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to implement vertically. We will intensify our capacity to implement without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. We have come to know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also deploy wirelessly. If you repurpose proactively, you may have to enable compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ASP. We will regenerate our ability to optimize without depreciating our capability to productize. A company that can redefine elegantly will (one day) be able to whiteboard courageously. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that if you innovate virtually then you may also e-enable intuitively. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Without well-planned infomediaries, networks are forced to become virally-distributed. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to whiteboard perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? We always evolve collaborative user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think micro-user-centric. We constantly envisioneer sexy metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also synthesize holistically. Think front-end. Think interactive. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not real-time, extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for monitoring new subscriber communities? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of turn-key applications. Do you have a plan to become robust? We realize that if you embrace virally then you may also redefine magnetically. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J++. We invariably grow bleeding-edge re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We believe we know that it is better to empower interactively than to visualize seamlessly. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of strategic macro-re-sizing. We think that most long-term portals use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? The capability to productize proactively leads to the aptitude to harness intuitively. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based paradigms and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will step up our power to unleash without diminishing our capability to scale. Think co-branded. We have come to know that if you expedite super-magnetically then you may also matrix compellingly. We have proven we know that if you target globally then you may also streamline virally. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate faithfully. The Total Quality Management factor is global.