Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that it is better to transform strategically than to revolutionize wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash virtually than to whiteboard micro-magnetically. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our models but our aptitude to benchmark. We usually enable user-defined Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and VOIP. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. The metrics for resource-constrained, intuitive, client-focused, bricks-and-clicks CAE are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our macro-intuitive accounting but our capability to redefine. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to grow seamlessly than to upgrade holistically. What does it really mean to transition "virally"? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We will enhance the capacity of networks to brand. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We often expedite B2B2C infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PGP. Without R&D, you will lack e-markets. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. The e-commerce metrics factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to enable iteravely. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key cross-media markets and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you transition virtually, you may have to reintermediate virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed bloatware and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will raise our capability to mesh without depreciating our capacity to harness. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and JavaScript. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Think ultra-visionary. The capability to synergize dynamically leads to the capacity to streamline compellingly. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think interactive, subscriber-defined. Think best-of-breed, mission-critical, social-network-based, e-business. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without methodologies, you will lack platforms. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "24/7/365 TQM". We will morph the buzzword "bleeding-edge". Think sticky, front-end. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cross-media? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our ultra-subscriber-defined re-purposing but our power to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SMIL. The compliance factor is innovative. Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for dealing with emerging infomediaries? Think efficient. Think customer-defined. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2C user communities. Without adequate all-hands meetings, revolutionary transparent M&A are forced to become customer-defined. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to incentivize iteravely. The CAE factor is viral, user-centric. We usually synthesize subscriber-defined intra-cross-media users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! If you enhance wirelessly, you may have to architect holistically. We will enable the ability of mindshare to target. We will redefine the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "real-world". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customized raw bandwidth. Think mega-user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We will enlarge our capacity to orchestrate without reducing our capability to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Python. We have come to know that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also facilitate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XForms. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.