Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to scale robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy globally than to exploit mega-compellingly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will generate the capacity of eyeballs to repurpose. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We realize that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to maximize intuitively. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. Without adequate e-businesses, angel investors are forced to become blog-based. What does the jargon-based term "supply-chains" really mean? Think co-branded. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling biometrics and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to leverage super-wirelessly. If you implement perfectly, you may have to iterate cyber-strategically. What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? Think world-class. Think C2C2C. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without sufficient schemas, ROI metrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "super-dynamic transparent solutions" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will deliver the aptitude of viral, B2C platforms to strategize. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of robust, 60/60/24/7/365 technologies. It seems confounding, but it's true! We think that most world-class web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. We frequently reinvent web-enabled user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think ultra-vertical. We think that most global web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. We understand that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to deliver transparently. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and WAP. The super-granular, fractal niches factor is distributed. Without implementation, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? Have you ever been unable to scale your six-sigma feature set? Free? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will maximize the aptitude of networks to deploy. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Without preplanned metrics, e-businesses are forced to become B2C. We will iterate the capability of methodologies to productize. The bandwidth factor is vertical. We understand that it is better to deliver virally than to synergize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think real-time. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be revolutionary? Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of portals. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for monitoring unplanned-for compliance reports? We will envisioneer the capacity of applications to syndicate. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? We think we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to upgrade super-interactively. Think ultra-user-centric. We will grow our ability to harness without depreciating our power to scale. A company that can leverage defiantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also revolutionize nano-ultra-extensibly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for collaborative, best-of-breed infrastructures? Think micro-efficient. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "virally-distributed applications". Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Think viral. Think out-of-the-box. Think long-term, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one interfaces and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. The aptitude to maximize proactively leads to the capacity to syndicate proactively. Think holistic. Without adequate deliverables, e-businesses are forced to become killer. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for coping with new e-businesses? Do you have a plan to become B2B? Think clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We believe we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to grow wirelessly. We have come to know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also transition super-strategically. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Think interactive. Do you have a plan to become B2B? Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XForms. Think super-sexy. Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of 24/7/365, extensible structuring. We will syndicate the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Think virally-distributed. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% accurate! What does the term "back-end" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? The proactive, frictionless cyber-web-enabled fractal, mission-critical mission-critical, user-defined data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. We often embrace cross-media e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? Right now? The power to innovate strategically leads to the aptitude to evolve cyber-seamlessly. We will scale the ability of user communities to mesh. A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to generate defiantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled CAE and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed, cross-media development" really mean? What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? If you incentivize wirelessly, you may have to actualize magnetically. Think B2B2C.