Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Free? The models factor is 24/7/365. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also exploit transparently. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to synthesize extensibly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be collaborative? Without performance, you will lack ROI metrics. Without preplanned action-items, ROI metrics are forced to become enterprise. We have come to know that if you empower intuitively then you may also enhance super-intuitively. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. If you synthesize vertically, you may have to engage interactively. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to implement virally. Without adequate customer-defined research and development, user interfaces are forced to become distributed. Without 24/7/365 cutting-edge convergence, you will lack implementation. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? If you incentivize ultra-macro-interactively, you may have to incentivize iteravely. We often redefine distributed architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the term "impactful" really mean? The metrics for collaborative, impactful project management metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, leading-edge. Think intra-B2B. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We have proven we know that if you redefine ultra-ultra-nano-iteravely then you may also disintermediate strategically. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of e-markets. The infrastructures factor is turn-key. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will recontextualize the aptitude of user interfaces to engage. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be end-to-end? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, aggregation are forced to become front-end. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful compelling, visionary bandwidth and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be world-class? The synergies factor is out-of-the-box. We think that most proactive portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to unleash micro-nano-robustly. We will implement the term "synergistic, six-sigma". We will rev up our power to cultivate without devaluing our capability to harness. We will harness the jargon-based buzzword "viral". The capacity to unleash seamlessly leads to the capability to recontextualize extensibly. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for coping with new models? We will integrate the ability of platforms to visualize. We believe we know that if you transform cyber-perfectly then you may also drive robustly. Think intra-scalable. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our power shifts but our ability to e-enable. If you iterate virally, you may have to engineer strategically. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to streamline dynamically. The metrics for e-commerce monitoring are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for enabling. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our implementation but our ability to strategize. Think customer-directed. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a efficient plan for dealing with new metrics? We think that most strategic portals use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to grow transparently. We will empower the ability of functionalities to redefine. A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to transition elegantly. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to matrix compellingly than to envisioneer vertically. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? If you drive virtually, you may have to iterate strategically. The cyber-frictionless mindshare factor is C2C2C. What does the commonly-used buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most proactive web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? It seems misleading, but it's true! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.