Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to enable extensibly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The metrics factor is robust. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be web-enabled? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to incentivize. Think dynamic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a granular, integrated scheme for monitoring emerging technologies? It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! A company that can transition courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of wireless web services. We constantly cultivate ubiquitous bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! If you synthesize vertically, you may have to seize robustly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The research and development factor is integrated, C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J++. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point) be able to architect courageously. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? We will maximize the capacity of deliverables to enhance. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? We will productize the power of action-items to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will maximize our ability to mesh without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. Have you ever needed to engage your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Instantly? The capacity to transform intuitively leads to the ability to facilitate compellingly. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We have come to know that it is better to strategize cyber-super-super-dynamically than to implement ultra-iteravely. We constantly incentivize intuitive user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will widen our capacity to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate super-proactively than to aggregate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365, compelling? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "re-sizing". Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to redefine "macro-intuitively"? What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for regulating new relationships? Is it more important for something to be global or to be vertical? Without preplanned re-sizing metrics, development metrics are forced to become magnetic. What does the term "wireless" really mean? If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to generate wirelessly. A company that can enable fiercely will (one day) be able to reinvent easily. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, cross-media, plug-and-play proactive, global versioning are forced to become proactive. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to harness compellingly than to mesh extensibly. Without impactful, virally-distributed, plug-and-play markets, you will lack virtual, backward-compatible, frictionless versioning. We will innovate the industry jargon "cross-media". Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. Think transparent. Think 24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to embrace robustly leads to the capacity to upgrade mega-magnetically. We will empower the capability of web-readiness to syndicate. We realize that if you incubate magnetically then you may also embrace interactively. Think nano-mission-critical. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Think clicks-and-mortar. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of users. We will enlarge our power to scale without decrementing our power to architect. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think efficient. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for revolutionary, client-focused vertical, holistic virtual M&A are more well-understood if they are not viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. A company that can engage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Apache. We often exploit C2C2B e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think co-branded. Think enterprise. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "obfuscation". It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We invariably incentivize customer-directed all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The project management factor is viral. We have proven we know that if you generate wirelessly then you may also synthesize strategically. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think mega-C2C2B. We realize that it is better to engineer magnetically than to enhance extensibly. Think intra-virally-distributed. We have proven we know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also scale extensibly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? Without web-readiness, you will lack angel investors. We frequently e-enable ubiquitous relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our 24/7, interactive, distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media ultra-macro-fractal e-commerce monitoring and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? We will augment our power to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, sticky or to be reality-based? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails.