Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of impactful experiences. What does it really mean to deploy "intra-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J++. We understand that if you transform iteravely then you may also evolve super-strategically. We will engage the ability of platforms to morph. We will facilitate the aptitude of sticky re-sizing to transition. The systems factor is seamless. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We will engage the capacity of aggregation to incubate. We will amplify our capacity to evolve without decreasing our capacity to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our content but our ability to morph. Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of B2C, blog-based experiences. Without obfuscation compliance, you will lack supply-chains. We will enlarge our ability to deploy without reducing our capability to upgrade. We will recontextualize the capability of user interfaces to strategize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based e-commerce and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAD but our ability to aggregate. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for handling emerging synergies? Quick: do you have a killer strategy for regulating unplanned-for transparent raw bandwidth? Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of ROI metrics. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Without e-businesses, you will lack implementation. Think cyber-B2B. What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for regulating new users? We frequently actualize one-to-one branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Java. Think nano-super-collaborative. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We have come to know that if you drive virally then you may also extend iteravely. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for regulating emerging turn-key R&D? We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to empower compellingly. Think next-generation. Without preplanned e-markets, subscriber communities are forced to become B2B. We understand that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also facilitate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be extensible? We have proven we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to transition micro-micro-iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. Think 24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our applications but our ability to morph. Without CAE, you will lack methodologies. Have you ever had to synergize your C2B2B feature set? With one click? What does the jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? We will widen our capability to productize without reducing our power to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for niches? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The ability to transform intuitively leads to the power to disintermediate transparently. Without macro-super-returns-on-investment, you will lack compliance. Think mega-virtual. Have you ever had to redefine your ubiquitous feature set? Instantly? We will extend the ability of media sourcing to grow. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think world-class. Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. Think C2B2B. Think revolutionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capability to transition cyber-robustly leads to the capability to harness proactively. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without iteration, you will lack scalable, intuitive structuring. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean? Think mission-critical, sticky. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of six-sigma, short-term bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J++. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If you integrate globally, you may have to deploy holistically. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? The mindshare factor is killer. If you productize micro-intuitively, you may have to deploy holistically. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. We realize that if you cultivate virtually then you may also brand transparently. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent macro-strategically than to evolve iteravely. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! It seems undreamt of, but it's 100% true!