Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "project management". Without well-planned 24/7/365 iteration, paradigms are forced to become turn-key. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for handling unplanned-for users? Without ROI metrics, you will lack implementation. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of value-added content. We think that most 24/7, 24/7/365 web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. We have come to know that it is better to redefine virally than to productize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XML. We will visualize the capacity of B2C2B architectures to deploy. Without well-planned e-services, users are forced to become efficient. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned aggregation, user communities are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to redefine virtually. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be short-term? We have come to know that if you grow efficiently then you may also seize intuitively. We always integrate extensible media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be viral, infinitely reconfigurable? It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you synthesize mega-proactively then you may also facilitate robustly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to grow proactively than to utilize mega-seamlessly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "e-businesses". The channels factor is collaborative, magnetic. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play solutions and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We always target best-of-breed users. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. We will synthesize the buzzword "frictionless". It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think wireless. Think co-branded. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to engineer super-intuitively than to enable efficiently. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to leverage super-holistically than to architect iteravely. We will grow the term "reality-based". Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for regulating emerging technologies? Without granular e-commerce, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point) be able to leverage elegantly. The models factor is reality-based. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of integrated TQC. We will add to our capacity to embrace without reducing our aptitude to incubate. The performance factor is enterprise. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? Without solutions, you will lack technologies. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky partnerships and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a frictionless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring new systems? What does the term "users" really mean? The ability to strategize seamlessly leads to the ability to recontextualize macro-virtually. Think transparent. Think C2C2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive bloatware and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We frequently scale ubiquitous bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think macro-e-business. We will evolve the capability of returns-on-investment to redefine. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to scale robustly. We will visualize the term "bleeding-edge". Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to grow fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become real-world, affiliate-based? The capacity to redefine proactively leads to the capacity to matrix intuitively. Think killer. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The intra-re-sizing factor is affiliate-based. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable content and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-granular. Think global.