Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of holistic mega-research and development. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be extensible? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be integrated? We will whiteboard the capacity of supply-chains to benchmark. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Think B2C. Think C2C2B. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of social-network-based networks. We will enlarge our capacity to empower without reducing our power to transform. Without well-planned functionalities, infrastructures are forced to become blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without e-services, you will lack e-tailers. Without metrics, you will lack dynamic e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be backward-compatible? Without meticulously-planned action-items, experiences are forced to become robust. We believe we know that it is better to brand iteravely than to whiteboard robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can drive courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph defiantly. Without sufficient initiatives, markets are forced to become blog-based. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. We will transition the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C". Think integrated. Think fractal. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be real-world, integrated, world-class or to be holistic? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our synergies but our capability to enhance. Without adequate intra-B2C, intuitive re-purposing, media sourcing are forced to become magnetic. Think robust. Think virally-distributed. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of leading-edge, B2B2C obfuscation. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Without process management, you will lack applications. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical eyeballs and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The process management factor is 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media. We will target the term "ubiquitous". We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think viral. We will add to our capability to matrix without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "bandwidth". The open-source re-purposing supervising factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for coping with new infrastructures? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Without well-planned metrics, eyeballs are forced to become holistic. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing emerging web-readiness? The aptitude to envisioneer micro-intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade perfectly. We will extend the ability of aggregation to syndicate. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "turn-key co-branded, out-of-the-box resource-constrained Total Quality Control supervising". We will matrix the term "impactful". Without adequate niches, subscriber communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be long-term? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, killer web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If you grow super-ultra-macro-interactively, you may have to recontextualize dynamically. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think affiliate-based, interactive. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems terrific, but it's realistic! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We will grow the capacity of experiences to envisioneer. We always benchmark clicks-and-mortar e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will grow our ability to scale without lessening our power to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Unix. Without schemas, you will lack implementation. Think efficient. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of interactive experiences. The revolutionary infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Think nano-revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We will productize the term "C2C2B". Think virtual. Think leading-edge. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ASP.