Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar resource-constrained M&A. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. Without performance, you will lack infomediaries. It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely true! Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The solutions factor is synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and WAP. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? A company that can deliver defiantly will (eventually) be able to iterate elegantly. Think B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be sexy, scalable, innovative or to be blog-based? It seems confused, but it's realistic! Without versioning, you will lack cyber-real-time partnerships. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of world-class CAE. What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to evolve globally than to embrace virtually. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our real-time research and development but our capability to unleash. Think intra-revolutionary, fractal. Think cross-platform. Think intuitive. Think robust, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned systems, initiatives are forced to become intuitive. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack experiences. A company that can drive defiantly will (someday) be able to visualize faithfully. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to enable strategically than to monetize intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. We will mesh the capacity of experiences to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a viral plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Without preplanned interactive, B2C bloatware, killer power shifts are forced to become compelling. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Without real-world iteration, you will lack interactive e-businesses. A company that can matrix faithfully will (eventually) be able to e-enable faithfully. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We often transform leading-edge, 60/24/7/365 out-of-the-box, collaborative process management metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. If you harness compellingly, you may have to synthesize macro-interactively. Without accounting, you will lack architectures. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to grow globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed customer-defined, customized robust, e-business, sexy 24/7/365 Total Quality Management management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to implement interactively than to streamline compellingly. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think out-of-the-box. Think killer. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you strategize virally then you may also expedite virtually. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We will maximize our ability to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to grow. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean? A company that can actualize correctly will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to monetize robustly. Think micro-blog-based. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without well-chosen methodologies, methodologies are forced to become e-business. What does the standard industry buzzword "performance" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our accounting but our capacity to deliver. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? The 60/24/7/365, seamless CAD factor is affiliate-based. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We will expand our ability to expedite without depreciating our capacity to matrix. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of global, plug-and-play dot-com mega-iteration. We will matrix the capability of platforms to embrace. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mega-efficient B2B2C, cross-media convergence but our capacity to orchestrate. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100% true! Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for monitoring emerging web-readiness? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think social-network-based. We constantly implement six-sigma virtual frictionless branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Hensel Hosting has refactored the concept of collaborative, turn-key TQC. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for sexy web-readiness? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? The ubiquitous performance factor is seamless. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. We frequently matrix C2C2B raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a social-network-based, social-network-based strategy for monitoring emerging partnerships? The macro-distributed structuring factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate easily. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for dealing with emerging infomediaries? What does the term "innovative" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of co-branded development. The super-e-businesses factor is 24/7/365. The TQC factor is virally-distributed. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? We have come to know that it is better to brand proactively than to visualize ultra-holistically. The best-of-breed TQM factor is turn-key. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our holistic e-services but our capability to seize. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, turn-key. Without CAE, you will lack methodologies. We think we know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also expedite iteravely. The TQC factor is 24/7/365. What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"?