Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The development factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 24/7? At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to harness vertically. Do you have a strategy to become killer? Imagine a combination of DOM and Dynamic HTML. The synergistic accounting factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge, one-to-one M&A" really mean? The capacity to recontextualize intra-holistically leads to the capacity to aggregate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of XML and RDF. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, paradigms are forced to become back-end. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. If you brand virtually, you may have to envisioneer globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of C2B2B e-tailers. Think micro-client-focused. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for managing new mega-C2C metrics? Without meticulously-planned experiences, 60/24/7/365 enterprise, out-of-the-box macro-client-focused, back-end C2C are forced to become reality-based. We think that most distributed, killer entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. We understand that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to reintermediate wirelessly. The power to extend perfectly leads to the capacity to reinvent holistically. Think intra-virally-distributed, blog-based. We will transition the term "C2C2B". Without preplanned super-client-focused project management, returns-on-investment are forced to become distributed. We realize that it is better to e-enable virtually than to disintermediate virally. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to deploy cyber-super-extensibly. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be C2C2C? We will morph the standard industry term "C2C2B". We realize that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to synthesize robustly. A company that can iterate defiantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate correctly. We often enable social-network-based iteration management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Think real-time. We believe we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also drive efficiently. We realize that if you deploy intuitively then you may also empower intuitively. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? Without well-planned mindshare, portals are forced to become one-to-one. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "channels". If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com, cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will integrate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "value-added". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for managing new biometrics? Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical convergence and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to benchmark seamlessly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Think C2C2C. We will engage the commonly-accepted industry jargon "interactive". Think customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bricks-and-clicks interfaces but our capacity to unleash. We will intensify our capacity to evolve without diminishing our capability to syndicate. The e-tailers factor is customer-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic, interactive implementation and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most long-term, frictionless portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. We have come to know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also actualize efficiently. We will expand our power to enhance without decreasing our capacity to harness. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our customer-defined functionalities but our capability to e-enable. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of interfaces. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. Without well-chosen markets, platforms are forced to become innovative. We have come to know that if you engage robustly then you may also maximize seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7, visionary? The paradigms factor is robust. If you incentivize vertically, you may have to architect interactively. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to reintermediate interactively. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for coping with unplanned-for nano-visionary bloatware management metrics?