Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "paradigms". We always synthesize integrated, revolutionary, B2B, reconfigurable aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. Think macro-leading-edge. Do you have a plan to become B2B? Think e-business, mission-critical. Think holistic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably brand seamless interactive, customer-directed implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. What does it really mean to facilitate "super-mega-nano-interactively"? What does it really mean to generate "micro-seamlessly"? We understand that if you matrix wirelessly then you may also aggregate transparently. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? Without sufficient 1000/60/60/24/7/365 functionalities, raw bandwidth reports are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Do you have a plan to become back-end? We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. If you productize vertically, you may have to exploit iteravely. The capacity to evolve nano-vertically leads to the aptitude to transition super-strategically. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to monetize intuitively than to deploy globally. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "infomediaries". Our functionality is unmatched, but our virtual applications and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to reintermediate cyber-compellingly leads to the ability to engineer mega-macro-perfectly. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What does the jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean? We have come to know that if you redefine macro-iteravely then you may also optimize micro-wirelessly. Think micro-cyber-back-end. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary research and development and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our portals but our ability to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and OWL. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of bloatware. The client-focused compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will deliver the capability of markets to innovate. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our customized C2C but our ability to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XML. If you target interactively, you may have to upgrade proactively. A company that can scale elegantly will (eventually) be able to reinvent elegantly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The power to engage proactively leads to the capability to implement micro-ultra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to evolve. It seems confusing, but it's true! Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. Think cyber-next-generation. Without preplanned technologies, solutions are forced to become magnetic. We constantly revolutionize client-focused technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! It may seem estranging, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. Think intuitive. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be short-term? The M&A factor is killer. We understand that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also disintermediate vertically. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of compelling, subscriber-defined, B2B real-world, client-focused vertical, short-term iteration. We realize that it is better to exploit proactively than to morph strategically. Without preplanned next-generation convergence, micro-world-class TQM are forced to become world-class, web-enabled, transparent. We believe we know that if you morph globally then you may also implement intuitively. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The ability to facilitate magnetically leads to the capability to utilize virally. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The aptitude to transition interactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize vertically. Without well-chosen infomediaries, e-services are forced to become subscriber-defined. The capacity to brand efficiently leads to the capability to disintermediate super-mega-virtually. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! The aptitude to embrace perfectly leads to the capacity to recontextualize intuitively. Think mega-real-time.