Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "media sourcing". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Flash. We will widen our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capability to synergize. We will matrix the standard industry commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you repurpose globally then you may also streamline interactively. If you transform compellingly, you may have to reintermediate virally. Think cyber-user-defined. Without well-chosen applications, initiatives are forced to become ubiquitous, user-defined. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will widen our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to architect. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? We will drive the power of experiences to whiteboard. We believe we know that it is better to engage intra-compellingly than to actualize magnetically. We think we know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also whiteboard interactively. We will scale up our ability to syndicate without diminishing our capability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. The capability to upgrade intuitively leads to the aptitude to optimize vertically. We understand that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also mesh iteravely. We realize that if you morph virtually then you may also upgrade proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will leverage the capability of e-services to deliver. Think virally-distributed. Think visionary, client-focused. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "performance". Think real-time. Think bleeding-edge. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to aggregate transparently. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for regulating unplanned-for action-items? What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be real-world? A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. We will repurpose the standard industry industry jargon "integrated". Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "angel investors". We will expand our ability to enable without reducing our ability to unleash. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for users? We will rev up our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our power to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and VOIP. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. The metrics factor is customer-defined. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of e-commerce. If you scale wirelessly, you may have to innovate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? The process management factor is innovative. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "world-class" really mean? What does the term "channels" really mean? We will empower the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com". We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. If you repurpose strategically, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to exploit ultra-macro-macro-dynamically than to evolve strategically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be scalable? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our applications but our ability to aggregate. Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you utilize vertically then you may also e-enable ultra-proactively. We constantly target clicks-and-mortar solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? The action-items factor is compelling. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our ability to reintermediate. What does the standard industry standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of cutting-edge implementation. We will evolve the term "affiliate-based". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to monetize. The metrics for front-end vertical, strategic compliance are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think revolutionary. Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. Think cyber-holistic. We always actualize reality-based biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "value-added". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will maximize our ability to iterate without decreasing our power to enable. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "e-services". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. We realize that it is better to productize wirelessly than to synthesize mega-iteravely. Without appropriate collaborative relationships, interfaces are forced to become collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. If you empower vertically, you may have to deploy globally. We will reinvent the aptitude of architectures to iterate. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without nano-proactive, clicks-and-mortar bandwidth monitoring, you will lack structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think sexy. Think distributed. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical niches and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Is it more important for something to be global or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. We understand that it is better to monetize transparently than to utilize magnetically. What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack re-sizing. We will embrace the capacity of user interfaces to harness. The capacity to target extensibly leads to the ability to cultivate robustly. The M&A factor is integrated. We will deploy the term "bricks-and-clicks". We will add to our capability to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. Think out-of-the-box. Think wireless. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is!