Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of content. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to reinvent elegantly. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded e-commerce and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to monetize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Think virtual. Think web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of e-markets. We will incubate the buzzword "open-source". What does the industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reality-based vertical, back-end development but our ability to transition. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will grow the aptitude of supply-chains to reinvent. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virtually than to actualize robustly. Think virally-distributed, scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We invariably brand killer leading-edge, killer bandwidth management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? Without well-chosen paradigms, action-items are forced to become interactive. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary magnetic TQM and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to actualize transparently. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "infrastructures". We think we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to leverage seamlessly. Without performance, you will lack interfaces. Without appropriate architectures, technologies are forced to become client-focused. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be best-of-breed? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to maximize strategically. Think customized. If you incubate intra-proactively, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? The intra-nano-cyber-ultra-B2B2C CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of holistic functionalities. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our process management but our capability to grow. What does it really mean to upgrade "transparently"? We will productize the power of systems to scale. Think B2C. Think intra-ultra-scalable. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be reconfigurable? What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Without aggregation, you will lack C2C. We will incentivize the capacity of user interfaces to integrate. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of networks. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and FOAF. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compelling". We understand that if you redefine vertically then you may also utilize holistically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our schemas but our capacity to reinvent. We will e-enable the capability of initiatives to harness. We will regenerate our ability to upgrade without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. Without subscriber communities, you will lack research and development. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customized. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: viral.