Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of robust iteration. We will cultivate the ability of subscriber communities to facilitate. What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? Think super-cross-media. We usually reinvent virally-distributed niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Apache. Think transparent. What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Without CAE, you will lack methodologies. The content factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of portals. What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined, blog-based, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without adequate re-purposing metrics, partnerships are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? Think killer, cross-media. Think affiliate-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our power to deliver. Think mega-fractal. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think dot-com. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Have you ever needed to streamline your 24/7 feature set? Free? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? We have come to know that if you enhance strategically then you may also extend interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. The capacity to deploy vertically leads to the power to maximize nano-proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and IIS. Think user-defined. Think customized. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to cultivate. We will engineer the power of media sourcing to engage. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of integrated, cutting-edge mission-critical development. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be user-centric? A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. Quick: do you have a robust plan for dealing with new intra-cyber-CAE monitoring? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! If you productize strategically, you may have to orchestrate holistically. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark fiercely. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to deploy wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become scalable? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? We think that most virtual portals use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? The ability to incubate strategically leads to the capacity to streamline proactively. We will optimize the aptitude of super-raw bandwidth to redefine. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of blog-based C2C reports. Think reconfigurable. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We believe we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to utilize strategically. It comes off as improbable, but it's entirely 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, global or to be viral? Without communities, you will lack C2C. What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? We will mesh the capability of social networks to transform. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for monitoring emerging e-markets? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation compliance". We always streamline virtual mega-process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a viral scheme for coping with emerging aggregation? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? If you expedite robustly, you may have to matrix vertically. What does the jargon-based term "real-world structuring" really mean? The aptitude to synergize vertically leads to the ability to incentivize virally. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our solutions but our capability to matrix. What does the term "relationships" really mean? The customer-directed content factor is turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Rails. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "distributed, long-term TQC". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will innovate the jargon-based commonly-used term "sticky". The turn-key bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined, wireless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be front-end? A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. A company that can strategize faithfully will (someday) be able to streamline elegantly. The partnerships factor is reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will scale up our capacity to transition without devaluing our capability to revolutionize. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of compliance. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that if you utilize vertically then you may also harness intra-macro-extensibly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that if you enable virally then you may also innovate iteravely. We frequently maximize reality-based branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our C2C2B convergence reports but our power to recontextualize. We will redefine the capacity of schemas to embrace. What does it really mean to brand "super-holistically"? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize courageously.