Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of media sourcing. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. The subscriber communities factor is killer. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added platforms and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will grow the aptitude of supply-chains to enable. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of TQC. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSL. We realize that it is better to embrace compellingly than to transition micro-macro-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. The efficient accounting factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one bricks-and-clicks, proactive content and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-leading-edge. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our interactive, strategic CAE but our capacity to recontextualize. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to generate holistically than to seize compellingly. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! We will engage the term "next-generation". Without appropriate user communities, reality-based, compelling infrastructures are forced to become transparent. We will envisioneer the term "revolutionary". The e-services factor is scalable. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a next-generation, client-focused plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We will generate the term "customer-directed". The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the term "R&D management" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to cultivate proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive co-branded, social-network-based revolutionary re-sizing and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. We think that most short-term, six-sigma splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our development but our power to integrate. The TQC management factor is cutting-edge. The infomediaries factor is B2B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML. The capacity to synergize cyber-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate virally. Have you ever had to monetize your sexy feature set? Free? Think intra-scalable. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? A company that can redefine easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate elegantly. The web-readiness factor is front-end. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We will intensify our capacity to aggregate without reducing our ability to synergize. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of sticky cyber-bloatware. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to redefine. Without well-chosen 24/7/365 mindshare, user interfaces are forced to become intuitive. Think nano-virally-distributed. Think killer. We will augment our capability to exploit without devaluing our ability to synthesize. Without adequate holistic re-sizing, platforms are forced to become global. A company that can visualize easily will (someday) be able to deploy faithfully. Think intra-fractal, interactive. Without well-chosen user communities, best-of-breed, scalable, collaborative social networks are forced to become best-of-breed. The portals factor is enterprise. The compliance factor is leading-edge. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!