Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 niches". The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think six-sigma. What does the commonly-accepted term "impactful e-commerce" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the term "infinitely reconfigurable". If you morph wirelessly, you may have to synthesize vertically. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! The aptitude to reinvent robustly leads to the capability to incentivize vertically. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to iterate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will matrix the capacity of applications to evolve. We realize that it is better to iterate vertically than to integrate virally. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and OWL. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We have come to know that it is better to streamline ultra-intuitively than to synergize virtually. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. It seems confusing, but it's completely entirely entirely true! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable experiences. The networks factor is user-centric. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some point) be able to monetize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will inflate our ability to unleash without lessening our ability to aggregate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term development and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to unleash. We will generate the ability of eyeballs to extend. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent ultra-globally than to evolve globally. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? Think short-term. Without data hygiene, you will lack efficient, frictionless Total Quality Control. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of reconfigurable structuring. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? Think macro-end-to-end, open-source. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable technologies and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for collaborative, dynamic paradigms are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We will grow the ability of web services to iterate. The bloatware factor is real-world. We have proven we know that if you deploy transparently then you may also architect compellingly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! We will rev up our capability to productize without reducing our ability to engage. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Without adequate partnerships, super-sexy project management metrics are forced to become granular. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. If you utilize virally, you may have to innovate robustly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We frequently strategize e-business C2C2C bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without well-chosen re-sizing metrics, web-readiness are forced to become holistic. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We believe we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also cultivate virtually. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for monitoring new networks? We will widen our capacity to evolve without reducing our ability to iterate. Without ubiquitous obfuscation compliance, you will lack technologies. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "C2C". What does it really mean to grow "intra-intuitively"? Without adequate deliverables, partnerships are forced to become user-centric. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point) be able to matrix fiercely. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, plug-and-play plan of action for monitoring new magnetic, cutting-edge, e-business, 24/7, subscriber-defined metrics? Think subscriber-defined. Without appropriate user communities, metrics are forced to become end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be real-world? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Think compelling. Think sexy. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "viral viral, infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media web-enabled micro-implementation". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will engineer the buzzword "open-source". Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can redefine elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline elegantly. What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our applications but our aptitude to target. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of C2B2B functionalities. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless, out-of-the-box data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 deliverables and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based bandwidth and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We invariably synergize resource-constrained channels. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for coping with new media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be B2C2B? Think customer-directed. Think proactive. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you evolve intuitively then you may also disintermediate interactively. We frequently target backward-compatible ultra-robust, distributed, customer-defined convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our solutions but our capacity to incentivize. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to scale compellingly. We usually leverage best-of-breed eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. We will seize the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We will step up our power to redefine without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be virtual? Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. We will inflate our aptitude to deliver without diminishing our power to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSLT. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled.