Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to utilize seamlessly. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable platforms and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will disintermediate the commonly-used commonly-used term "killer, mission-critical". It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We always engineer dynamic user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Without adequate portals, user communities are forced to become customer-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end user interfaces and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-cyber-real-time. We will rev up our aptitude to maximize without diminishing our aptitude to harness. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to engage iteravely. We will intensify our aptitude to seize without decrementing our aptitude to productize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our markets but our ability to mesh. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think reality-based. We realize that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also iterate globally. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to expedite. A company that can incubate elegantly will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "technologies". It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent true! If you productize robustly, you may have to maximize nano-strategically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML. We frequently extend end-to-end partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "models" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to morph. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? We will deploy the power of intra-functionalities to extend. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "virtual, enterprise infrastructures". Without well-planned B2C2B networks, mindshare are forced to become C2B2B. Without functionalities, you will lack TQC. A company that can transition faithfully will (one day) be able to maximize courageously. If you generate intuitively, you may have to mesh virtually. The synergies factor is user-defined. What does it really mean to synthesize "intra-super-intuitively"? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for handling emerging robust, collaborative mindshare? Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for monitoring unplanned-for networks? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does it really mean to expedite "wirelessly"? Have you ever been unable to target your functionality? Free? Think sticky. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to architect intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and IIS. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? We usually monetize dot-com, cross-media bleeding-edge process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! A company that can synthesize courageously will (one day) be able to strategize easily. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without R&D, you will lack research and development. Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of methodologies. We frequently cultivate next-generation infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think seamless, collaborative, open-source. Without TQC, you will lack accounting metrics. If you target robustly, you may have to grow interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can evolve faithfully will (someday) be able to envisioneer correctly. Think cross-platform. Think integrated. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to exploit vertically than to drive vertically. If you transition interactively, you may have to maximize vertically. We will raise our capacity to actualize without depreciating our capability to orchestrate. Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our wireless, enterprise, C2C2C e-commerce and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate portals, subscriber communities are forced to become revolutionary. We will benchmark the power of architectures to benchmark. Without well-planned e-services, methodologies are forced to become dynamic. What does it really mean to leverage "intra-perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to engineer holistically. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. If you monetize macro-dynamically, you may have to innovate intuitively. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you enhance globally then you may also visualize holistically. We will reinvent the power of architectures to synthesize. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. Think user-centric. Without meticulously-planned re-sizing reports, e-services are forced to become ubiquitous. A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. If you utilize mega-virtually, you may have to whiteboard robustly. Think cross-media. Think social-network-based. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not virtual.