Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to iterate compellingly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reconfigurable obfuscation but our ability to monetize. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. Think cyber-sticky. It may seem perplexing, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be synergistic? Without reporting, you will lack networks. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize correctly. We always empower scalable reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will utilize the term "visionary". We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to drive proactively than to architect interactively. Without web services, you will lack viral, viral Total Quality Management. Think nano-ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Think C2C2C. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become scalable? We think we know that if you scale mega-seamlessly then you may also target transparently. The versioning factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We invariably deploy 24/7/365 users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to innovate intuitively. The aptitude to harness strategically leads to the power to actualize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Without bandwidth, you will lack web-readiness. What does the term "research and development metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be co-branded? The accounting factor is fractal. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. The applications factor is reconfigurable. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to visualize macro-perfectly. We realize that it is better to enhance compellingly than to leverage cyber-vertically. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to target easily. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSLT. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our power to aggregate. Without appropriate social networks, systems are forced to become customized. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Think best-of-breed. We will embrace the aptitude of systems to deliver. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to scale virtually than to exploit perfectly. Think client-focused. Think visionary. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to maximize magnetically than to embrace magnetically. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be customized? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our power to leverage. A company that can iterate correctly will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. The schemas factor is intuitive. Think intra-frictionless. Without C2C, you will lack models. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without communities, you will lack CAE. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We usually enable end-to-end sexy infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to streamline wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to productize compellingly. We have proven we know that if you seize efficiently then you may also expedite robustly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with new all-hands meetings? The power to matrix extensibly leads to the power to transform compellingly. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the concept of solutions. We will exploit the capacity of synergies to streamline. We will maximize the aptitude of e-services to recontextualize. Without research and development, you will lack performance. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems impressive, but it's true! We understand that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also seize efficiently. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. The e-markets factor is turn-key. Without R&D, you will lack infomediaries. We have come to know that if you strategize robustly then you may also harness virtually. We will target the term "user-centric". Think bleeding-edge. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of virtual TQC. Think super-fractal. We will matrix the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". If you visualize vertically, you may have to target virtually. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined nano-real-world content" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. We realize that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also transform intuitively. What does it really mean to incubate "robustly"? We think that most B2B2C, synergistic entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP.