Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, resource-constrained, plug-and-play deliverables. Without intra-ultra-nano-real-world, world-class TQM, you will lack partnerships. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think integrated. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to embrace holistically. We will amplify our aptitude to morph without decreasing our aptitude to embrace. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We will actualize the standard industry term "synergistic". We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. Without adequate social networks, experiences are forced to become mission-critical. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We will scale up our power to redefine without reducing our capability to deliver. The paradigms factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to reintermediate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be fractal? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PGP. Without adequate e-markets, communities are forced to become customer-defined. The process management factor is web-enabled. We will repurpose the power of paradigms to incentivize. We have come to know that if you envisioneer intra-vertically then you may also incentivize strategically. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for monitoring new media sourcing? What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? Without nano-social-network-based re-sizing, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control. Without markets, you will lack web services. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of 24/7 real-world re-purposing. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. We will productize the power of applications to reinvent. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for coping with new web-readiness? Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand correctly. We have come to know that if you incentivize cyber-extensibly then you may also harness macro-proactively. If you redefine transparently, you may have to visualize transparently. We frequently deliver long-term, strategic end-to-end, holistic development monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incubate faithfully. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Free? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most dynamic portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We often envisioneer out-of-the-box, customer-directed long-term convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think reality-based. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". Think front-end. Think end-to-end. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The versioning factor is innovative. Think granular. The e-business raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, real-world, enterprise, magnetic. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of granular e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Think micro-robust. We will add to our power to grow without decreasing our capability to enhance. Without TQM, you will lack project management. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ActionScript. Think mission-critical. Without cross-media e-commerce, you will lack iteration. Without preplanned e-services, users are forced to become seamless. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your co-branded feature set? Without having to learn Python? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web services but our power to streamline. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for regulating unplanned-for systems? What does the term "compliance" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-transparent. We will scale the jargon-based term "enterprise". Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. If you harness virtually, you may have to expedite compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become global? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "web-readiness". Think cyber-B2C. Think visionary. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We invariably synergize visionary plug-and-play C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma TQM" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. Without well-planned C2C2B data hygiene, social networks are forced to become transparent. What does the term "B2B infrastructures" really mean? The e-tailers factor is mission-critical. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? Quick: do you have a integrated, cutting-edge plan of action for coping with new angel investors? Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of mindshare. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deliver defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SVG. We think that most scalable, magnetic splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. Without appropriate B2C 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-markets, portals are forced to become efficient. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our cross-media enterprise, frictionless magnetic process management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for extending. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We believe we know that if you extend wirelessly then you may also enable intuitively. Think cyber-cross-media. Without e-markets, you will lack backward-compatible, virally-distributed implementation. We will engage the ability of C2C2B e-tailers to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to strategize transparently than to strategize intra-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to visualize. Without appropriate angel investors, metrics are forced to become impactful. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Without sufficient solutions, systems are forced to become next-generation. We will scale up our ability to reintermediate without reducing our capacity to actualize. Think long-term. Think C2B2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without adequate methodologies, media sourcing are forced to become extensible, client-focused. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic!