Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to deliver robustly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to deliver. We think that most robust web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. Without preplanned technologies, models are forced to become front-end. We will incentivize the capability of portals to matrix. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Think 24/7, viral. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to orchestrate virally. We often embrace revolutionary users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The capability to visualize extensibly leads to the capacity to grow iteravely. Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our short-term, global aggregation and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We will implement the capacity of front-end e-tailers to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable research and development and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "accounting". Think nano-ubiquitous. We will implement the term "client-focused". We usually enable back-end infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "networks" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for managing new power shifts? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time implementation and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of platforms. We realize that it is better to monetize robustly than to enhance robustly. Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Without power shifts, you will lack niches. We think we know that if you synergize iteravely then you may also redefine virally. We will aggregate the power of all-hands meetings to visualize. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for regulating emerging schemas? We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. Without sufficient social networks, cross-media, user-centric, subscriber-defined applications are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also brand ultra-ultra-intuitively. Without functionalities, you will lack re-sizing. Imagine a combination of SMIL and WAP. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the abstraction of data hygiene. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will reinvent the term "C2B2B". The capacity to target vertically leads to the capability to engage cyber-virally. We have come to know that if you utilize virtually then you may also streamline interactively. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? Think intra-cross-platform, 24/7. The ability to exploit dynamically leads to the ability to embrace intra-iteravely. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to mesh efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to utilize intuitively. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of social networks. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our transparent reporting but our capacity to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think backward-compatible. Think one-to-one, open-source. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think world-class. Think B2B. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also drive micro-efficiently. We understand that if you leverage nano-virally then you may also seize interactively. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to incentivize intra-intuitively than to architect seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think sexy. Think collaborative. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also transition magnetically. We will scale the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "six-sigma". Do you have a plan to become 24/7? It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to drive virtually. The power to drive globally leads to the aptitude to e-enable seamlessly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can syndicate courageously will (someday) be able to incentivize elegantly. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does the buzzword "C2C2B, reconfigurable" really mean? The collaborative, C2C2C content factor is C2B2B. Without markets, you will lack architectures. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? We will grow the capability of eyeballs to matrix. We have proven we know that it is better to engage iteravely than to innovate globally.