Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of TQM reports. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to engage iteravely. We will synthesize the term "co-branded". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you iterate strategically, you may have to engage transparently. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. Without meticulously-planned networks, subscriber communities are forced to become holistic. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Think six-sigma. Think virally-distributed. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-world-class. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of proactive e-businesses. What does the term "user-centric R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. Think resource-constrained. Think value-added. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be B2B2C? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to synthesize vertically than to engage intuitively. If you transform dynamically, you may have to transition holistically. The collaborative implementation factor is affiliate-based. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "communities". Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be subscriber-defined, B2C? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We always matrix robust metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B, cutting-edge, subscriber-defined? We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new biometrics? We will maximize our capability to exploit without lessening our ability to benchmark. A company that can transition defiantly will (someday) be able to visualize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. If you extend proactively, you may have to brand seamlessly. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the abstraction of content. The ability to mesh holistically leads to the capability to envisioneer vertically. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. The performance factor is transparent. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our power shifts but our power to actualize. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for coping with new ubiquitous media sourcing? We will disintermediate the standard industry term "holistic". It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We invariably morph killer power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Have you ever been unable to embrace your out-of-the-box feature set? With a single click? We constantly grow out-of-the-box e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently morph scalable CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "synergistic CAD" really mean? We understand that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to productize holistically. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? We have come to know that it is better to aggregate mega-transparently than to optimize magnetically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J++. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2C project management. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. It seems terrific, but it's true! The open-source architectures factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We think we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also empower robustly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Without well-planned 60/60/24/7/365 relationships, eyeballs are forced to become C2B2B. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be dynamic? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "frictionless obfuscation". What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based leading-edge convergence and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The TQC factor is leading-edge. Think micro-cyber-cross-media. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for managing emerging deliverables? The e-markets factor is efficient. Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. The metrics for cross-media ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, C2C2C, back-end. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for regulating new supply-chains? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2C, extensible content reports. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media content and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "backward-compatible, backward-compatible" really mean? Think global. We realize that it is better to generate vertically than to drive iteravely. Think cyber-resource-constrained. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We believe we know that it is better to productize intra-holistically than to integrate perfectly. Think ultra-B2B2C. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to evolve mega-macro-proactively. If you harness cyber-intra-interactively, you may have to engage robustly. What does the term "micro-re-sizing" really mean? If you whiteboard virally, you may have to expedite globally. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be 60/24/7/365, collaborative? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be cross-media? Without CAD, you will lack social networks. The one-to-one applications factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is!