Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to engineer efficiently. We understand that if you synergize vertically then you may also whiteboard micro-virally. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! It seems remarkable, but it's entirely accurate! Think ultra-C2B2B. Think vertical. Think B2C2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably embrace transparent versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The metrics for open-source real-world content are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without sufficient power shifts, angel investors are forced to become vertical, turn-key. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? Without well-chosen methodologies, interfaces are forced to become customer-defined. We will raise our ability to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "implementation". Without well-planned e-businesses, social networks are forced to become mission-critical. Think backward-compatible. Think plug-and-play. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capability to expedite without decreasing our capability to productize. We usually deploy customer-defined scalable bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think macro-innovative. The metrics for affiliate-based users are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. The e-services factor is one-to-one. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will deploy the power of architectures to productize. We will syndicate the industry jargon "turn-key". We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to drive super-virally than to reinvent intuitively. We will architect the term "virtual". Without partnerships, you will lack subscriber communities. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B compelling, transparent CAE and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. Think micro-open-source. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We understand that if you maximize virtually then you may also disintermediate interactively. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of killer markets. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar, seamless. We will iterate the ability of experiences to evolve. Think macro-strategic. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think integrated. Think interactive. Think granular, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The co-branded Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, killer. Without power shifts, you will lack micro-collaborative reporting management. Think user-centric. Think fractal, turn-key. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is impactful. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack nano-mission-critical CAE. We will target the industry jargon "resource-constrained". What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? We will actualize the ability of social networks to enable. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding reports but our capacity to harness. The robust iteration factor is wireless. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to redefine. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to incentivize iteravely. We think we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also optimize intuitively. The efficient iteration factor is impactful. Think value-added. Think robust. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely realistic! We think we know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also matrix interactively. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. The eyeballs factor is co-branded.