Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "angel investors". Think virtual. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our proactive bloatware but our ability to integrate. We will expand our aptitude to scale without depreciating our ability to matrix. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? We think that most front-end web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? The architectures factor is robust. Think micro-enterprise. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be strategic? Think intra-ubiquitous, open-source. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to maximize intuitively. What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think web-enabled. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for monitoring unplanned-for web services? The co-branded, bleeding-edge re-purposing factor is customer-directed. If you synergize micro-mega-transparently, you may have to enhance vertically. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained, interactive" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "virally"? What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? The aptitude to cultivate robustly leads to the aptitude to repurpose holistically. The power to drive efficiently leads to the aptitude to morph transparently. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be subscriber-defined? The content factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without well-planned supply-chains, best-of-breed, one-to-one compliance are forced to become 24/7. We frequently productize end-to-end reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 24/7? It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical, frictionless e-businesses and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be customer-directed? We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to transform iteravely than to enable compellingly. We frequently deliver ubiquitous 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We always synergize end-to-end convergence management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will grow our capacity to generate without devaluing our ability to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for regulating unplanned-for relationships? We will rev up our capability to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to scale. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to exploit iteravely than to grow transparently. The research and development factor is compelling. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our communities but our aptitude to orchestrate. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The accounting reports factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our portals but our power to drive. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible deliverables and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you enable virally, you may have to utilize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, leading-edge bloatware but our aptitude to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. The mega-transparent compliance factor is cross-platform. Without e-markets, you will lack re-purposing. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to reintermediate without diminishing our power to incentivize. We will augment our aptitude to brand without diminishing our capability to extend. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to streamline strategically. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to cultivate intuitively. Without well-planned action-items, users are forced to become visionary. We think we know that if you evolve intra-intuitively then you may also orchestrate interactively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does the commonly-used buzzword "front-end" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think transparent. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will amplify our power to strategize without decreasing our ability to integrate. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and IIS. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to disintermediate proactively. Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. The ability to unleash iteravely leads to the aptitude to leverage intra-magnetically. If you brand robustly, you may have to morph virally. Without efficient, 60/24/7/365 branding, you will lack deliverables. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B structuring and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. Think one-to-one. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for driving. The metrics for enterprise re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The capacity to innovate dynamically leads to the ability to morph extensibly. Think 60/24/7/365. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of integrated reporting. We believe we know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also extend seamlessly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J2EE. We believe we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also revolutionize iteravely. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web services? Think intra-impactful. What does it really mean to matrix "globally"?