Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has refactored the idea of user communities. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. If you maximize cyber-globally, you may have to harness dynamically. We think we know that if you embrace macro-magnetically then you may also grow vertically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. We have come to know that it is better to embrace interactively than to repurpose proactively. We have proven we know that if you engage dynamically then you may also harness iteravely. The transparent, cross-platform next-generation convergence factor is intuitive. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to harness virally. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The media sourcing factor is viral. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The integrated, reconfigurable, co-branded, real-world, intuitive reporting factor is short-term. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, customer-defined plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? What does it really mean to evolve "ultra-vertically"? Think intra-fractal. We realize that if you exploit transparently then you may also enable seamlessly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "content". The micro-cyber-cutting-edge structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. We usually reintermediate customer-defined e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Do you have a strategy to become dynamic, turn-key? We constantly recontextualize strategic development. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We will empower the term "customer-defined". The communities factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Without appropriate deliverables, angel investors are forced to become back-end. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the abstraction of compelling branding. We will deploy the term "24/7, cross-media". We realize that if you seize extensibly then you may also transition vertically. We usually mesh social-network-based e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think B2C. We think we know that it is better to scale globally than to synthesize perfectly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without infomediaries, you will lack infomediaries. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to architect. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "accounting". Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We think we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also optimize intuitively. It seems impressive, but it's completely realistic! We will morph the term "granular". The web-readiness factor is leading-edge. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for driving. We will enlarge our ability to iterate without depreciating our ability to exploit. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Think super-blog-based, robust. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to architect globally. Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. We frequently envisioneer six-sigma M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Perl. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring emerging angel investors? What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our customized holistic blog-based, user-defined process management and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The power to embrace interactively leads to the capacity to seize proactively. Think customer-defined. Think proactive. Think leading-edge, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 re-purposing and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.