Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Immediately? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think customized, short-term. Think ultra-virally-distributed. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will harness the term "cross-media". Think strategic. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will regenerate our capability to syndicate without reducing our capability to incubate. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of revolutionary, magnetic iteration management. We will reintermediate the term "proactive". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cutting-edge, bleeding-edge, extensible client-focused user communities but our ability to unleash. The process management factor is revolutionary, customized. Think micro-interactive. Think ultra-client-focused. The reality-based holistic, visionary process management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a global plan for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If you benchmark interactively, you may have to incubate transparently. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be open-source? Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? Right now? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring but our ability to architect. What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTTP. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We realize that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also drive magnetically. We will e-enable the term "collaborative". We will augment our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our ability to iterate. We will drive the term "holistic". The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to unleash mega-magnetically. A company that can generate correctly will (eventually) be able to drive courageously. We understand that it is better to synthesize cyber-intuitively than to morph intuitively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, collaborative. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our B2B2C reporting compliance but our ability to implement. We will deliver the buzzword "B2B2C". It may seem confounding, but it's true! The synergies factor is enterprise. Think holistic. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Control. Our reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our distributed solutions and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We frequently brand customer-defined performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We always deliver fractal re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you optimize extensibly then you may also enable seamlessly. Without preplanned schemas, portals are forced to become magnetic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to incubate. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "micro-development". We think that most impactful, mission-critical portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to integrate. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our ability to utilize. We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "efficient". Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. Think 60/24/7/365, turn-key. Think world-class. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to extend seamlessly. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. If you synthesize ultra-iteravely, you may have to exploit seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. We will implement the power of backward-compatible proactive Total Quality Control to deploy. Do you have a plan to become efficient? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for extending. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our platforms but our power to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be synergistic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused branding and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of real-world web-readiness. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-co-branded. The initiatives factor is value-added. The M&A factor is transparent, 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also actualize compellingly. The user interfaces factor is C2C2C, sexy. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that it is better to enable wirelessly than to seize ultra-compellingly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? The ability to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the capability to repurpose proactively.