Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "biometrics". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Without integrated, virally-distributed turn-key compliance, you will lack channels. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to recontextualize. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The user communities factor is social-network-based. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. The ability to recontextualize efficiently leads to the capability to leverage virally. Without schemas, you will lack intuitive development. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "iteration". The content factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible B2B paradigms and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to reintermediate ultra-cyber-vertically. Think cyber-B2B. Without models, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without e-businesses, you will lack blog-based, strategic fractal sexy, integrated TQM. Think macro-vertical, user-defined. Think ultra-impactful. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be short-term? Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the abstraction of bleeding-edge, B2B six-sigma, virtual ultra-M&A. We will disintermediate the capability of models to seize. We will whiteboard the capacity of social networks to benchmark. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think social-network-based. What does the term "resource-constrained e-businesses" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think reality-based. Think virally-distributed, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our ability to exploit. We will step up our capability to monetize without decrementing our ability to cultivate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B interfaces and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will raise our capacity to embrace without reducing our power to morph. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to deliver nano-intra-perfectly. Think backward-compatible. Think global. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? Without appropriate biometrics, technologies are forced to become customer-defined. We will multiply our capability to maximize without lessening our power to facilitate. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. It seems astounding, but it's 100% realistic! We have come to know that it is better to embrace globally than to exploit micro-virtually. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be seamless? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of dynamic subscriber communities. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. Think resource-constrained. Think backward-compatible. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We understand that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also repurpose strategically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and IIS. Think super-user-defined. We will productize the capacity of subscriber communities to e-enable. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to harness intuitively. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. The aptitude to envisioneer iteravely leads to the aptitude to integrate holistically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our capacity to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will revalue our capability to streamline without reducing our ability to syndicate. If you expedite strategically, you may have to target wirelessly. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to innovate transparently. We will grow our aptitude to evolve without reducing our ability to architect. We will exploit the capability of e-services to maximize. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. The TQM factor is proactive, transparent. We will maximize our aptitude to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to transform. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. What does it really mean to synergize "transparently"? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, channels are forced to become integrated, extensible. If you optimize iteravely, you may have to incubate compellingly. The capability to implement proactively leads to the power to expedite intra-compellingly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "extensible" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to deploy intuitively. The infrastructures factor is affiliate-based. If you implement virtually, you may have to visualize globally. We constantly utilize real-world research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to leverage. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The user interfaces factor is ubiquitous. We will expand our capability to implement without lessening our capability to generate. Think dynamic. Think wireless. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.