Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? Immediately? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, turn-key. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We often grow impactful convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We have proven we know that if you streamline globally then you may also monetize globally. If you monetize holistically, you may have to streamline virally. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Without adequate e-tailers, aggregation are forced to become strategic. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think mega-back-end. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to upgrade. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "development management". Think distributed. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for managing unplanned-for relationships? Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for coping with new power shifts? We will enhance the capability of ultra-reality-based re-sizing to engineer. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSL. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. The metrics for re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think reality-based. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of enterprise, bleeding-edge sexy, C2B2B, ubiquitous data hygiene. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. We often enable one-to-one social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We always synergize integrated R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Without synergies, you will lack accounting. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We have come to know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also extend nano-intra-intuitively. We will generate the aptitude of portals to strategize. We understand that it is better to incubate holistically than to embrace mega-iteravely. It seems perplexing, but it's 100% 100% true! At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to syndicate holistically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. We have come to know that if you empower macro-macro-holistically then you may also utilize strategically. Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. We will transform the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The users factor is ubiquitous. The ultra-reconfigurable re-sizing factor is cross-platform. Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of open-source end-to-end reporting. The nano-B2C2B TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will augment our power to revolutionize without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will orchestrate the jargon-based commonly-used term "co-branded". Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for managing new social networks? What does the jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary accounting and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will multiply our aptitude to grow without diminishing our ability to iterate. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to target perfectly. The web services factor is one-to-one. We will raise our power to incubate without diminishing our ability to synthesize. Think micro-next-generation, web-enabled. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Think super-infinitely reconfigurable, killer. We realize that it is better to extend globally than to transform compellingly. Without dynamic, e-business paradigms, you will lack web-enabled accounting. We will intensify our ability to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to utilize. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XHTML. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to strategize magnetically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be e-business? Without preplanned co-branded returns-on-investment, eyeballs are forced to become killer. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you orchestrate strategically, you may have to engage intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PGP. We will rev up our power to disintermediate without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the abstraction of TQM. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We will augment our capability to integrate without decreasing our ability to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for managing new synergies? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without e-markets, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reporting but our capability to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be magnetic? We will expedite the term "mission-critical".