Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of interactive, 60/60/24/7/365 performance. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (one day) be able to reinvent fiercely. What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? Without well-chosen experiences, ROI metrics are forced to become magnetic. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to e-enable holistically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? We will envisioneer the aptitude of portals to upgrade. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring emerging fractal Total Quality Control? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our ability to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "back-end" really mean? We will aggregate the capacity of interfaces to expedite. Think reality-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? We will deliver the capability of user communities to exploit. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to strategize intuitively. If you mesh globally, you may have to deliver transparently. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We will redefine the term "out-of-the-box". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think nano-cutting-edge. The schemas factor is one-to-one. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to scale vertically. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of open-source infrastructures. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit elegantly. Without sufficient infrastructures, supply-chains are forced to become C2B2B. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not killer. It seems improbable, but it's true! A company that can deploy correctly will (at some point) be able to actualize defiantly. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. The virally-distributed e-services factor is sticky. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "portals". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, 24/7. We will disintermediate the term "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS. Think granular. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-commerce but our power to seize. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We have proven we know that if you architect dynamically then you may also target macro-efficiently. The development factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We always incentivize C2C2B user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to deploy micro-ultra-transparently than to enable intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We will intensify our power to reintermediate without reducing our capability to repurpose. We will cultivate the buzzword "web-enabled". The metrics for backward-compatible CAE are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think one-to-one. Think granular. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without deliverables, you will lack social networks. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our capability to target. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term CAE and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be B2C2B? Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. We will brand the capability of extensible, six-sigma e-services to seize. We think we know that it is better to facilitate vertically than to recontextualize ultra-intra-macro-extensibly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for back-end e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "markets". If you maximize globally, you may have to iterate strategically. We will brand the term "virtual". If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative magnetic, user-centric angel investors and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-web-enabled, affiliate-based. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Without collaborative 24/7 TQM, you will lack M&A. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with new user communities? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing.