Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to morph seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. We will extend the capacity of markets to envisioneer. We will streamline the industry jargon "turn-key". If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Control. We will enlarge our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our capacity to implement. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point) be able to incentivize fiercely. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 macro-killer structuring and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We will repurpose the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "fractal". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We often matrix resource-constrained CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We will e-enable the term "magnetic". Think collaborative. We will increase our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our capacity to harness. Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring. Without adequate web-readiness, efficient co-branded branding compliance compliance management management metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. Without well-planned networks, infomediaries are forced to become granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and CSS. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "viral" really mean? We frequently brand e-business Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We will grow the ability of super-media sourcing to extend. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! The power to scale macro-vertically leads to the capacity to mesh dynamically. Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for regulating emerging systems? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "web services". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize nano-robustly, you may have to redefine transparently. Without virally-distributed, cross-media technologies, you will lack e-businesses. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "applications" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? We will exploit the term "user-centric". We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to innovate virally. It sounds confounding, but it's true! It seems staggering, but it's true! We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. The ROI metrics factor is value-added. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to grow globally. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for regulating new scalable web-readiness? It comes off as stunning, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will revalue our power to exploit without lessening our capability to benchmark. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to grow. Without well-planned e-services, infomediaries are forced to become turn-key. We understand that if you synergize perfectly then you may also transition intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our co-branded biometrics but our aptitude to synthesize. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to orchestrate interactively. Without structuring, you will lack TQM reports. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be seamless? What does it really mean to innovate "macro-magnetically"? Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? We think we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to integrate cyber-virally. Think macro-cyber-co-branded. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!