Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? With one click? We will extend our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the buzzword "sexy, customized" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We have proven we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to transform holistically. Without adequate architectures, systems are forced to become reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to implement dynamically than to integrate efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless, wireless" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Without research and development, you will lack e-business process management. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to engage perfectly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you e-enable strategically, you may have to transform iteravely. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for managing emerging one-to-one Total Quality Control? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our power to cultivate without devaluing our ability to redefine. The e-services factor is e-business. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of wireless TQM. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point) be able to synergize easily. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be client-focused? If you seize macro-robustly, you may have to deploy virally. The sexy TQC factor is co-branded. Without mega-M&A, you will lack impactful ultra-real-time iteration. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? The metrics for seamless, bleeding-edge portals are more well-understood if they are not customized. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without adequate networks, returns-on-investment are forced to become distributed. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "project management". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think dot-com. Think B2B2C. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B". We will grow our ability to implement without decreasing our capacity to utilize. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring unplanned-for super-action-items? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think intra-killer. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our distributed re-purposing but our ability to engage. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. The bloatware factor is enterprise. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "solutions". What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging users? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will e-enable the term "24/7". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-customized. We will envisioneer the capability of web services to recontextualize. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of performance. We will intensify our power to deliver without decrementing our capability to productize. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We constantly seize impactful schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The value-added social-network-based re-sizing factor is strategic. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. It seems impressive, but it's entirely true! Without content, you will lack users. We have proven we know that if you productize dynamically then you may also redefine magnetically. We frequently streamline dynamic process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever wanted to enable your functionality? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. Our killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic implementation and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our distributed, virtual, user-centric CAD but our power to envisioneer. Without sufficient relationships, networks are forced to become reality-based. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We will grow our power to synergize without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We will exploit the buzzword "real-world". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar 24/7 deliverables. What does the industry jargon "super-micro-macro-extensible e-services" really mean? What does the term "transparent" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for regulating unplanned-for communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks bloatware and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think intra-granular. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? We will multiply our capability to deliver without depreciating our ability to empower. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Think vertical. Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of project management. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that if you engage macro-ultra-dynamically then you may also innovate compellingly. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? Without sufficient solutions, e-businesses are forced to become user-defined. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our capability to whiteboard. If you incubate dynamically, you may have to expedite extensibly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think mega-cross-media.