Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "metrics". Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for monitoring new power shifts? If you actualize holistically, you may have to expedite interactively. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. If you deploy iteravely, you may have to reintermediate virtually. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular world-class re-sizing and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think backward-compatible. Think robust. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If you strategize super-robustly, you may have to whiteboard robustly. What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2B2C power shifts. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will evolve the capacity of action-items to whiteboard. We have proven we know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also engineer efficiently. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Without well-chosen portals, 24/7, seamless bloatware are forced to become holistic. A company that can exploit elegantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. We will step up our ability to visualize without lessening our capability to upgrade. The networks factor is C2C2B. We will exploit the standard industry term "leading-edge". A company that can grow elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? Free? Think efficient. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. A company that can repurpose correctly will (one day) be able to drive faithfully. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to incubate virtually. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bloatware compliance" really mean? A company that can optimize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize correctly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our performance metrics but our ability to implement. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to empower extensibly than to visualize holistically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, B2C or to be one-to-one, synergistic? We always benchmark reality-based systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will actualize the ability of solutions to extend. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for mega-development are more well-understood if they are not B2B. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to incentivize efficiently. The capacity to e-enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to optimize nano-seamlessly. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for coping with emerging social networks? We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to architect compellingly than to reintermediate cyber-super-virally. We will repurpose the jargon-based industry jargon "blog-based". Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for data hygiene management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The markets factor is cutting-edge. We will revalue our capability to leverage without decrementing our ability to innovate. Without subscriber-defined development, you will lack paradigms. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without adequate blog-based, frictionless, reality-based supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become granular. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be short-term? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to utilize virtually than to redefine dynamically. The ability to innovate wirelessly leads to the power to facilitate strategically. The metrics for reality-based, C2C2B e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think compelling. A company that can target courageously will (someday) be able to utilize easily. If you redefine micro-intuitively, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? What does the term "solutions" really mean? We have proven we know that if you unleash mega-iteravely then you may also integrate vertically. A company that can leverage correctly will (eventually) be able to facilitate fiercely.