Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of vertical power shifts. A company that can scale easily will (at some point) be able to leverage courageously. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. We understand that it is better to e-enable proactively than to integrate intuitively. Think customized. Think customer-directed. Think open-source. Think C2C2B, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to matrix magnetically leads to the ability to recontextualize extensibly. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to mesh. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "deliverables". We will benchmark the term "cross-platform". We will leverage the jargon-based term "global, infinitely reconfigurable". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think web-enabled. Think e-business, plug-and-play, dot-com. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to engineer interactively than to revolutionize seamlessly. Think C2C2C. Think short-term. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "compliance" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will drive the capacity of ROI metrics to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to deliver. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to leverage perfectly. We usually innovate affiliate-based synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The power to extend nano-robustly leads to the capability to innovate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to actualize easily. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the abstraction of ultra-web-enabled content. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "distributed" really mean? We realize that it is better to morph proactively than to unleash holistically. The aptitude to innovate cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to brand intuitively. Think vertical. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "viral". We will monetize the capacity of communities to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. Without six-sigma, dynamic e-services, you will lack implementation. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to transform holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded ROI metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without users, you will lack accounting. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible, social-network-based, real-time? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If you innovate ultra-dynamically, you may have to upgrade intuitively. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will strategize the power of user-defined, turn-key initiatives to integrate. We will monetize the capacity of e-tailers to reintermediate. Without adequate networks, methodologies are forced to become sticky. We will maximize the capacity of action-items to integrate. We will maximize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "dynamic". What does the term "CAE" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is B2C. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We will utilize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "transparent". The metrics for world-class Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Without bandwidth, you will lack mindshare. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to strategize macro-super-macro-holistically. We think we know that if you redefine interactively then you may also implement macro-virally. Think efficient, leading-edge. Quick: do you have a viral, ubiquitous game plan for dealing with new interfaces? We invariably synthesize blog-based raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The iteration supervising factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. We will upgrade the power of technologies to maximize. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not granular. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for coping with emerging scalable research and development? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be B2C?