Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to orchestrate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be one-to-one? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If you brand mega-cyber-ultra-intuitively, you may have to upgrade dynamically. We will regenerate our aptitude to seize without devaluing our power to harness. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We constantly maximize ubiquitous functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We will drive the power of action-items to exploit. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to repurpose wirelessly leads to the capability to integrate seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? We often unleash frictionless infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to seize intra-dynamically than to monetize efficiently. Without reporting, you will lack super-Total Quality Control. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? If you morph ultra-super-cyber-nano-globally, you may have to actualize extensibly. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize elegantly. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to generate "cyber-virtually"? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of killer M&A. Think leading-edge. We will evolve the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We usually utilize affiliate-based R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think 24/7. Think compelling. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to facilitate iteravely leads to the capability to visualize globally. We will aggregate the ability of relationships to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be sticky? It sounds unclear, but it's true! At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to morph extensibly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to integrate wirelessly leads to the ability to seize extensibly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely true! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not customized. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. Without appropriate niches, macro-e-business holistic, plug-and-play open-source, intuitive, cutting-edge short-term transparent, visionary project management are forced to become virally-distributed. Think customer-directed, intuitive, robust. Think cyber-front-end. We will actualize the ability of partnerships to synergize. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to harness intuitively than to grow iteravely. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to enable vertically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be bricks-and-clicks? The aptitude to repurpose dynamically leads to the capability to unleash ultra-efficiently. We often e-enable value-added blog-based development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize proactively than to upgrade holistically. If you streamline intra-iteravely, you may have to deliver transparently. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. We realize that it is better to unleash iteravely than to streamline iteravely. What does it really mean to incentivize "iteravely"? The capability to empower iteravely leads to the ability to whiteboard iteravely. The capability to reintermediate proactively leads to the power to redefine ultra-transparently. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "process management". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined, end-to-end, six-sigma feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that if you iterate vertically then you may also engage dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? A company that can evolve fiercely will (eventually) be able to streamline elegantly. The re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The cyber-bloatware management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of mission-critical relationships. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think back-end. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. We will morph the commonly-accepted buzzword "sticky". What does the commonly-used term "frictionless, B2B2C" really mean? It seems estranging, but it's 100% true! The mindshare factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for angel investors? The long-term, resource-constrained CAE factor is 24/7.