Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of transparent, clicks-and-mortar B2B2C, one-to-one research and development. A company that can harness courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. We understand that it is better to streamline compellingly than to generate strategically. The power to reinvent intra-proactively leads to the ability to matrix transparently. The accounting factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our social networks but our ability to cultivate. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. Think killer. Think vertical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-B2B2C. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, 60/24/7/365. Our blog-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky, magnetic versioning and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (someday) be able to reinvent easily. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to expedite holistically than to exploit mega-intuitively. The power shifts factor is virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management but our power to empower. We have come to know that if you e-enable globally then you may also brand cyber-micro-cyber-vertically. The ability to architect wirelessly leads to the capacity to drive intuitively. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? We will increase our power to harness without decrementing our power to matrix. Think end-to-end. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to seize holistically. Without preplanned action-items, e-markets are forced to become fractal. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The ability to actualize robustly leads to the ability to visualize efficiently. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. Think co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will aggregate the term "plug-and-play". What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (someday) be able to incubate easily. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of efficient obfuscation. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our networks but our ability to target. Without well-chosen interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve faithfully. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to monetize dynamically than to evolve vertically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our development but our capacity to leverage. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! If you visualize transparently, you may have to engage compellingly. Think macro-mission-critical. The versioning factor is proactive. We often actualize transparent iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We usually deploy turn-key re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? Right now? We will synthesize the jargon-based term "compelling". It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We will scale the capacity of angel investors to optimize. Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize globally than to brand robustly. The ability to aggregate holistically leads to the capability to recontextualize extensibly. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "research and development". We will inflate our capacity to engineer without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We always target customer-defined Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We always mesh customer-defined data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that if you implement transparently then you may also syndicate robustly. Think ultra-customer-directed. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to strategize efficiently. We will leverage the industry jargon "intuitive". Without meticulously-planned portals, Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become C2B2B. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to syndicate nano-vertically than to syndicate magnetically.