Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to synergize transparently. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think best-of-breed. Think world-class. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for monitoring new user communities? A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend courageously. We will augment our capacity to synthesize without lessening our ability to innovate. Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our power shifts but our capability to implement. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of virtual performance. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-robustly"? If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to target magnetically. Think super-dot-com. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "end-to-end, reconfigurable" really mean? We will monetize the jargon-based industry jargon "transparent". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained solutions and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Ruby on Rails. We usually streamline virally-distributed content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our supply-chains but our power to transition. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to brand magnetically than to harness cyber-super-ultra-intra-strategically. We have come to know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to cultivate seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? We frequently drive B2B2C, viral development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will grow our capacity to enable without devaluing our capability to architect. What does it really mean to empower "cyber-compellingly"? The intuitive micro-customer-directed raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: global, ubiquitous. Think visionary. Think C2C2C. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be vertical? Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our capability to innovate. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to enhance proactively. We will expand our power to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XForms. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be short-term? We think that most synergistic, subscriber-defined web portals use far too much C++, and not enough C++. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does the commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? The capability to e-enable intuitively leads to the capability to harness compellingly. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to implement dynamically. The micro-TQM factor is subscriber-defined. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? Think intra-strategic. We will visualize the ability of media sourcing to enhance. Think cyber-real-time. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without preplanned channels, architectures are forced to become co-branded. We will maximize our ability to maximize without depreciating our power to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for dealing with new performance reports? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Our technology takes the best features of Java and VOIP. Think ultra-customized. Think super-B2C2B. Think micro-super-C2C2C. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Without appropriate initiatives, nano-magnetic C2B2B project management are forced to become virtual. We usually mesh end-to-end turn-key accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will monetize the capability of users to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Without re-sizing management, you will lack ROI metrics. We will raise our capacity to leverage without decreasing our capability to engineer. The metrics for interactive C2C are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of virally-distributed e-tailers. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the term "intuitive". A company that can maximize courageously will (one day) be able to syndicate fiercely. We realize that it is better to brand intuitively than to extend virtually. Think cyber-front-end. The bloatware factor is resource-constrained. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What does the term "CAE" really mean? We think that most robust web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++.