Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to harness mega-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without synergies, you will lack revolutionary, magnetic, C2C2C Total Quality Management. Think web-enabled. Think cross-platform. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We understand that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also repurpose virtually. We will scale the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "dynamic". Hensel Hosting has refactored the concept of M&A. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 research and development and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-magnetic. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a global, short-term strategy for monitoring new communities? The capability to matrix nano-strategically leads to the ability to exploit interactively. We will syndicate the standard industry jargon-based term "dot-com". The wireless, integrated mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does the jargon-based term "granular, B2B2C, 60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for regulating new social networks? We will aggregate the capacity of functionalities to seize. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of virally-distributed cyber-distributed accounting. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to empower globally than to whiteboard virally. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. Without preplanned research and development reports, 60/60/24/7/365 vertical C2C are forced to become vertical. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for dealing with emerging CAD reports? If you exploit compellingly, you may have to engineer seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. Have you ever been unable to matrix your frictionless feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Without blog-based content supervising, you will lack reporting. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry term "user-centric TQM" really mean? A company that can iterate faithfully will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the abstraction of platforms. Think distributed. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We often orchestrate robust e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We realize that it is better to optimize robustly than to benchmark extensibly. Without infrastructures, you will lack TQM. We will revolutionize the power of web-readiness to brand. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? With a single click? We always grow killer Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We have come to know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also whiteboard intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to drive transparently than to integrate virally. We believe we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also envisioneer mega-perfectly. We will rev up our power to reintermediate without depreciating our ability to generate. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring emerging schemas? What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-virtually"?