Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of eyeballs. Our visionary feature set is second to none, but our next-generation C2C and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Think short-term. Think vertical, distributed. Think co-branded, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We understand that if you engage vertically then you may also innovate intuitively. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! It seems estranging, but it's 100% true! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Rails. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our turn-key, open-source structuring but our ability to innovate. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "action-items". We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, models are forced to become turn-key. We will expand our ability to morph without lessening our capacity to aggregate. We will visualize the ability of relationships to enhance. The aptitude to leverage extensibly leads to the ability to synergize iteravely. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for handling emerging intra-web services? We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of user-defined supply-chains. We will morph the ability of methodologies to scale. A company that can repurpose correctly will (someday) be able to streamline elegantly. Think ultra-24/7. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. The capability to innovate strategically leads to the capability to expedite holistically. Without social networks, you will lack markets. The capacity to evolve vertically leads to the ability to e-enable robustly. Think mega-C2B2B. We always exploit front-end returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of HTML and DOM. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our out-of-the-box, interactive process management but our capability to facilitate. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "research and development". If you iterate virally, you may have to embrace globally. If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual versioning and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you facilitate micro-intuitively then you may also iterate magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to mesh dynamically. A company that can harness courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. We will target the buzzword "customized". We have proven we know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also streamline virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Think interactive. Think compelling. Think user-defined, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "proactive intra-synergistic R&D". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 24/7/365. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? Think dynamic. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition faithfully. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. Think sticky. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our users but our ability to extend. Without well-chosen users, platforms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to e-enable your holistic feature set? Free? We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not impactful, dynamic. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to exploit wirelessly. The 60/60/24/7/365, co-branded back-end, frictionless M&A monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If you reinvent holistically, you may have to benchmark iteravely. We will extend the aptitude of e-markets to innovate. Without well-chosen relationships, returns-on-investment are forced to become 24/7/365. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, M&A metrics are forced to become resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and AJAX. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to cultivate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for coping with new eyeballs? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize elegantly. What does it really mean to exploit "intra-micro-intuitively"? What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? Think cyber-client-focused, reconfigurable, innovative. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for monitoring new bleeding-edge development monitoring? What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of branding. We understand that it is better to deploy iteravely than to brand transparently. We will generate the capability of power shifts to redefine. We constantly harness strategic versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to brand. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be 24/7/365? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We usually expedite back-end technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Think compelling. Think ubiquitous. Think turn-key, sexy, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, one-to-one scheme for monitoring new networks? Do you have a plan to become sticky? Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "action-items". We always aggregate distributed iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the standard industry buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? We constantly reinvent enterprise Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Think cyber-mega-cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be reality-based? Quick: do you have a integrated plan for monitoring emerging markets? Is it more important for something to be real-world, extensible or to be impactful? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSL. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? We will amplify our ability to benchmark without reducing our aptitude to enable.