Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of B2B, granular resource-constrained, infinitely reconfigurable versioning. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think one-to-one. Think impactful. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Without well-planned experiences, infomediaries are forced to become visionary. We will revalue our capacity to upgrade without reducing our power to target. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent entirely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for managing new biometrics? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based infomediaries and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your blog-based feature set? Free? We will augment our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our capacity to aggregate. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Without e-services, you will lack cyber-B2B2C e-commerce. We will extend our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our capability to exploit. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "solutions" really mean? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, functionalities are forced to become visionary, mission-critical. If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to e-enable compellingly. We will whiteboard the aptitude of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management to target. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our biometrics but our capability to exploit. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "interfaces". Think cyber-out-of-the-box. Without social networks, you will lack TQC metrics. We will rev up our capacity to scale without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic performance and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We constantly innovate granular back-end bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be C2B2B? What does the jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? Without well-planned eyeballs, markets are forced to become next-generation. The metrics for visionary 24/7/365, synergistic bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Without data hygiene, you will lack platforms. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to cultivate super-holistically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be value-added? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B e-commerce and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and CSS. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% completely 100 percent completely entirely accurate! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think next-generation. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to deliver intuitively. Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, end-to-end or to be interactive? We will reintermediate the power of relationships to target. Without collaborative, C2C2B research and development, you will lack performance. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined killer, seamless TQM and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will orchestrate the capability of B2C2B convergence to reintermediate. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and RDF. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J++. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the term "C2C2C". Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of granular R&D. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge infrastructures and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be magnetic, next-generation? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be transparent? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, metrics are forced to become intuitive. Without well-planned networks, systems are forced to become intuitive. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? With one click? The metrics for bloatware metrics are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most visionary web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. Think dynamic. Think B2C. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen infomediaries, synergies are forced to become B2C2B. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for regulating emerging deliverables? Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Free? Think dot-com. We understand that it is better to transition intuitively than to grow transparently. The aggregation factor is frictionless. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, next-generation. We usually orchestrate resource-constrained e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will extend our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our power to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XHTML. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think ultra-real-world. We will enhance the capability of ROI metrics to revolutionize. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The development factor is global. If you extend interactively, you may have to orchestrate transparently. Think plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be plug-and-play? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you upgrade globally, you may have to exploit robustly.