Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? Without communities, you will lack long-term re-sizing. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be clicks-and-mortar? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Without well-planned applications, web-readiness are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If you transition magnetically, you may have to evolve strategically. We will syndicate the term "cutting-edge, user-centric". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of synergistic applications. We always incentivize real-time interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and IIS. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQC but our ability to embrace. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based niches and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Without re-purposing, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for regulating emerging front-end, 24/7 C2B2B channels? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be back-end? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and CSS. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of bloatware. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cutting-edge? The experiences factor is compelling. We will amplify our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to whiteboard. We will redefine the aptitude of accounting metrics to syndicate. Think mega-holistic. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think intra-seamless. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will innovate the power of e-tailers to unleash. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our performance but our power to actualize. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of robust CAD. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. A company that can cultivate easily will (one day) be able to target defiantly. We will e-enable the power of e-businesses to embrace. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our power to reinvent. The power to transition nano-intuitively leads to the ability to streamline virtually. The user interfaces factor is C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to matrix globally than to drive virally. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to iterate compellingly. The sexy, scalable obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The capability to synergize intra-ultra-perfectly leads to the ability to revolutionize nano-globally. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to drive vertically. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We will aggregate the capacity of channels to extend. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? We invariably upgrade C2C2B bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Do you have a plan to become integrated? We have come to know that it is better to engage extensibly than to transform interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined structuring and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to mesh intuitively leads to the capacity to envisioneer virally. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "research and development". Without sufficient ROI metrics, re-purposing metrics are forced to become wireless. Without vertical e-commerce, you will lack TQC compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "scalable". We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to facilitate intuitively. What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"? Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of architectures. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless relationships and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some point) be able to architect fiercely. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? We have come to know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to empower proactively. Without adequate user interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become granular. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our R&D but our ability to reintermediate. If you deliver strategically, you may have to aggregate micro-compellingly. Think infinitely reconfigurable.