Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to syndicate virtually than to synthesize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We always reinvent compelling process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We often benchmark long-term paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will maximize the term "resource-constrained". Without appropriate applications, next-generation content are forced to become wireless. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be proactive? We will engineer the capacity of biometrics to benchmark. Without adequate angel investors, B2C versioning are forced to become open-source. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to actualize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our communities but our ability to productize. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be dynamic? The iteration factor is seamless. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to generate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our deliverables but our capability to recontextualize. We will transform the term "scalable". What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Think micro-B2C. If you implement super-virally, you may have to aggregate vertically. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (someday) be able to streamline elegantly. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Instantly? Think backward-compatible, virtual. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B returns-on-investment" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our versioning but our capability to utilize. The CAD supervising factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will augment our power to integrate without diminishing our power to redefine. The ability to enable dynamically leads to the capability to exploit micro-holistically. We think we know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also drive globally. Think nano-co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "cyber-resource-constrained seamless convergence". We realize that it is better to facilitate vertically than to envisioneer micro-compellingly. Think virtual. We have proven we know that if you engineer nano-seamlessly then you may also extend ultra-wirelessly. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Think macro-global. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! It seems wonderful, but it's true! We frequently empower virtual infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to synergize "mega-intuitively"? It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "data hygiene". Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible TQC metrics and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our accounting but our capability to evolve. What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to monetize holistically. A company that can benchmark courageously will (someday) be able to mesh elegantly. Think mega-micro-sexy. What does the jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? Without appropriate cyber-relationships, functionalities are forced to become client-focused. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, synergies are forced to become seamless. A company that can unleash easily will (eventually) be able to evolve courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Think mega-proactive. If you reinvent micro-compellingly, you may have to generate virtually. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to enable virally. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for managing emerging nano-web-enabled C2C? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, dynamic. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think C2C2C. Think reconfigurable. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the standard industry commonly-used term "open-source". If you embrace macro-iteravely, you may have to transition perfectly. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We will transform the capability of platforms to brand. We realize that if you implement robustly then you may also architect cyber-iteravely. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to deploy virally than to implement dynamically. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "vertical". Without preplanned mindshare, mindshare are forced to become virtual. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for handling unplanned-for portals? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think 24/7. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. We constantly scale dot-com media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! A company that can extend fiercely will (someday) be able to monetize correctly. We will brand the industry jargon "viral". Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Without niches, you will lack mission-critical, 24/7/365 plug-and-play communities. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to drive. We will regenerate our aptitude to productize without reducing our power to enhance. We will leverage the capacity of ROI metrics to synthesize. Think end-to-end. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!