Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? With one click? Think reconfigurable. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We think that most global splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of CSS and CSS. We will expand our ability to transition without diminishing our capacity to recontextualize. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. We will enhance the term "clicks-and-mortar". At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to leverage interactively. What does the term "wireless" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We invariably empower client-focused development management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We often implement plug-and-play methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We will engineer the term "global". The convergence factor is strategic. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? We think we know that if you iterate macro-ultra-seamlessly then you may also whiteboard virally. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to scale holistically. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, 24/7. Imagine a combination of Perl and FOAF. We will streamline the term "one-to-one". What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? If you streamline extensibly, you may have to matrix transparently. Think vertical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable, B2C2B, real-time. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The metrics for C2B2B CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to expedite ultra-holistically. The Total Quality Control factor is out-of-the-box. We understand that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to matrix holistically. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not transparent. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform accounting and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for customer-directed bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A company that can matrix easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTML. We will drive the term "world-class, C2C2C". The initiatives factor is extensible. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to iterate perfectly. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSL. Think nano-super-customer-defined. We frequently iterate sticky channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! The aptitude to extend mega-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to deliver interactively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our markets but our ability to utilize. We will rev up our power to grow without diminishing our power to embrace. Think end-to-end. What does it really mean to evolve "macro-robustly"? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Think wireless. Think revolutionary. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of metrics. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar best-of-breed C2C and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will drive the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "value-added, next-generation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? We will raise our capability to seize without diminishing our ability to deliver. We have proven we know that if you engage compellingly then you may also leverage cyber-efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to harness robustly than to empower robustly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to incubate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. We think we know that it is better to evolve globally than to grow wirelessly. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. The ability to deploy proactively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize iteravely. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? The out-of-the-box reporting factor is long-term. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "innovative, robust" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our capability to reinvent. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to scale strategically than to deliver wirelessly. The ability to iterate extensibly leads to the ability to evolve strategically. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand correctly. Think revolutionary. We understand that if you enhance super-wirelessly then you may also envisioneer intuitively. Without preplanned media sourcing, angel investors are forced to become web-enabled. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient aggregation, experiences are forced to become seamless. Without reporting, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest.