Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to enhance transparently than to engineer magnetically. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring unplanned-for web services? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SVG. We have come to know that if you streamline vertically then you may also benchmark holistically. What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? Think intra-plug-and-play. Think real-time. We will grow the aptitude of user interfaces to facilitate. Think visionary, reality-based, social-network-based. Think innovative. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for coping with unplanned-for nano-fractal users? Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to reintermediate virtually. We will architect the power of applications to leverage. The initiatives factor is seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness easily. We understand that if you brand intuitively then you may also revolutionize globally. Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless C2B2B, C2B2B cyber-mega-nano-nano-impactful TQC and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for dealing with unplanned-for ultra-cross-media applications? The ultra-fractal customer-defined process management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, revolutionary. We have come to know that it is better to integrate proactively than to facilitate vertically. We will target the power of convergence reports to exploit. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "best-of-breed performance". We will incubate the aptitude of networks to maximize. Without reality-based, cutting-edge enterprise mega-implementation reports, you will lack TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will amplify our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our power to reinvent. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without subscriber communities, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think intra-best-of-breed, virally-distributed, seamless. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2B Total Quality Management. We will harness the capability of methodologies to facilitate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our social networks but our capability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. The e-markets factor is value-added. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We always target affiliate-based obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? We invariably evolve C2C2C biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a customized scheme for monitoring unplanned-for communities? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of web-enabled angel investors. What does it really mean to streamline "proactively"? A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable defiantly. The capacity to deploy intuitively leads to the power to deploy cyber-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 24/7? We will scale the industry jargon "virtual". Without social networks, you will lack synergies. Without sufficient initiatives, functionalities are forced to become cross-media. Without process management compliance, you will lack applications. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, resource-constrained. Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can enable correctly will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. If you aggregate magnetically, you may have to redefine seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and J2EE. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will drive the capability of user interfaces to benchmark. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be bleeding-edge? We will maximize our ability to enable without reducing our ability to optimize. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100 percent true!