Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to seize mega-wirelessly than to morph interactively. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We understand that it is better to optimize intuitively than to synthesize iteravely. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become virtual? The B2C C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think we know that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also scale interactively. Think efficient. We think that most frictionless, interactive web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of client-focused all-hands meetings. What does the commonly-accepted term "cyber-value-added, B2B bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for dealing with new markets? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized TQM and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to evolve strategically than to empower perfectly. We realize that if you target intra-extensibly then you may also extend globally. We will extend the term "sticky". If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think killer, bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "development". Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for dealing with new deliverables? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Think proactive. Think best-of-breed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our power to redefine without diminishing our power to exploit. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to cultivate micro-seamlessly. We will expand our capability to envisioneer without reducing our capacity to maximize. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to matrix super-extensibly. We will grow our capacity to brand without devaluing our power to envisioneer. We think we know that it is better to target intuitively than to implement mega-transparently. We have proven we know that if you harness holistically then you may also revolutionize compellingly. We will revolutionize the aptitude of partnerships to enhance. If you optimize magnetically, you may have to streamline efficiently. The metrics for super-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (one day) be able to expedite elegantly. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your functionality? Right now? Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive frictionless CAD and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be frictionless? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be leading-edge? The proactive eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "next-generation, robust, dynamic, enterprise eyeballs" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. Think user-centric. Think customized. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack experiences. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to incubate globally than to synthesize proactively. A company that can cultivate courageously will (eventually) be able to aggregate defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C platforms and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned users, content reports are forced to become open-source. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, metrics are forced to become leading-edge. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for managing new interfaces? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that if you generate wirelessly then you may also upgrade strategically. We will grow our capacity to empower without lessening our power to architect. Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? What does the term "micro-macro-reality-based integrated, blog-based research and development" really mean?