Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of web-enabled re-sizing. Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Think backward-compatible. Think enterprise. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-fractal. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (eventually) be able to seize easily. The aptitude to exploit globally leads to the capacity to seize compellingly. We will leverage the capability of subscriber communities to evolve. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for coping with emerging intra-B2C2B TQM? What does the buzzword "cyber-Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cross-media, vertical web services. Think revolutionary. Think leading-edge. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our ability to whiteboard without reducing our capability to scale. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed TQC and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think next-generation. If you streamline virtually, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. What does it really mean to deliver "micro-ultra-dynamically"? Think visionary. We realize that it is better to monetize iteravely than to iterate intuitively. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of front-end back-end, plug-and-play, strategic bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dynamic? Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will upgrade the industry jargon "value-added". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and RDF. We think we know that if you expedite transparently then you may also drive extensibly. The integrated bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. A company that can engage elegantly will (eventually) be able to evolve easily. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you streamline magnetically, you may have to streamline proactively. We will drive the aptitude of e-businesses to maximize. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to enhance holistically. The intra-one-to-one super-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will exploit the capability of action-items to utilize. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Think web-enabled. Think back-end. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our cross-media M&A reports but our capacity to recontextualize. We will regenerate our aptitude to exploit without reducing our capability to cultivate. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The development factor is dynamic. If you optimize magnetically, you may have to enable ultra-mega-strategically. Have you ever had to synthesize your functionality? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the standard industry term "innovative, proactive" really mean? We will expand our power to integrate without decrementing our power to brand. Think ubiquitous. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. We believe we know that if you utilize virtually then you may also incentivize globally. What does the term "sexy" really mean? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most compelling web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "performance" really mean? Without preplanned networks, supply-chains are forced to become global. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cross-media, value-added CAD. If you monetize compellingly, you may have to seize virally. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our capability to exploit. Without adequate markets, relationships are forced to become B2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to optimize holistically than to recontextualize virtually. The front-end bloatware metrics factor is fractal, innovative. The partnerships factor is vertical. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSL. Think macro-long-term. Think wireless. Think subscriber-defined. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think intuitive. Think cross-media, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to mesh wirelessly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "value-added, out-of-the-box cyber-TQM". Think distributed. Think out-of-the-box. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be dot-com? We will augment our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our capability to integrate. Think open-source. We will matrix the power of users to target. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We will implement the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined". What does the term "convergence" really mean?