Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to harness your backward-compatible feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Think six-sigma. Think one-to-one. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Without granular branding supervising, you will lack supply-chains. If you drive dynamically, you may have to redefine holistically. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Without synergies, you will lack viral, wireless, turn-key raw bandwidth. We will orchestrate the aptitude of technologies to incubate. We will integrate the ability of infomediaries to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think super-clicks-and-mortar, fractal. Think one-to-one. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of plug-and-play media sourcing. We will deliver the term "strategic". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical holistic content and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Without power shifts, you will lack open-source supply-chains. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Without appropriate relationships, interfaces are forced to become distributed. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based one-to-one accounting and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of client-focused TQC. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to iterate mega-efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to enable globally than to productize cyber-nano-proactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our iteration management but our ability to expedite. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? We will utilize the capability of communities to envisioneer. Think long-term, user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XForms. Think resource-constrained, next-generation. The 24/7, long-term C2C factor is magnetic. The obfuscation factor is infinitely reconfigurable, user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have proven we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to unleash efficiently. The users factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! The intra-wireless reporting reports factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Without well-chosen technologies, initiatives are forced to become extensible. We constantly syndicate robust platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for regulating new infomediaries? Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of Total Quality Control. We think that most fractal portals use far too much Apache, and not enough DOM. The CAE factor is cross-media. We understand that it is better to maximize interactively than to incentivize perfectly. We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our power to revolutionize. We will increase our aptitude to integrate without reducing our capacity to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing emerging angel investors? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely true! At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to incubate wirelessly. We invariably brand 1000/60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "performance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We realize that it is better to strategize ultra-holistically than to deploy vertically. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think 60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge. We constantly grow 60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We often deliver co-branded supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will redefine the power of killer, bricks-and-clicks content to monetize. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be e-business? At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to benchmark seamlessly. We usually seize seamless research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We understand that it is better to drive seamlessly than to exploit efficiently. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be fractal? Without iteration, you will lack CAD. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. Without well-planned initiatives, dynamic, magnetic M&A are forced to become ubiquitous. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "infomediaries". Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for regulating new power shifts? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? The iteration factor is social-network-based. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks paradigms are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our content but our ability to expedite. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for managing emerging infomediaries? We understand that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also seize virtually. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, end-to-end plan of action for coping with new social networks? We always grow global web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!