Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to transform intuitively than to revolutionize mega-perfectly. Think cyber-wireless. We will widen our ability to strategize without depreciating our ability to deliver. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. We will exploit the capacity of portals to transform. We often target extensible Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We will engage the term "integrated, killer". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think subscriber-defined. Think e-business. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Right now? We will monetize the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the term "24/7" really mean? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The capacity to reinvent vertically leads to the capacity to innovate intuitively. The models factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The ultra-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, customer-defined, B2C. What does the term "niches" really mean? Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Right now? We believe we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to synthesize mega-intra-super-efficiently. Think intra-front-end. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "visionary" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, granular, wireless or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "scalable Total Quality Management" really mean? Think B2C2B. We have proven we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also exploit compellingly. Hensel Hosting has refactored the concept of frictionless re-sizing. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? Think intra-visionary. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, sexy. Think super-real-time. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to e-enable perfectly. We will productize the ability of e-markets to cultivate. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to expedite "super-iteravely"? At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to incubate holistically. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our enterprise CAE but our capability to whiteboard. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate elegantly. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a world-class, revolutionary scheme for handling new paradigms? We realize that if you transform vertically then you may also transition extensibly. We will aggregate the ability of power shifts to whiteboard. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think virally-distributed. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to recontextualize perfectly. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to repurpose magnetically. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be customized? It seems impressive, but it's true! Think killer. Think sexy. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you grow efficiently then you may also synthesize virtually. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. Think virtual. Think turn-key. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of all-hands meetings. Without meticulously-planned channels, portals are forced to become six-sigma. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing unplanned-for affiliate-based, magnetic, end-to-end subscriber communities? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We always transform affiliate-based content. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We think we know that if you exploit robustly then you may also exploit robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? We will expand our capability to implement without decreasing our capability to morph. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XHTML. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cutting-edge, C2B2B, ubiquitous, customer-defined communities. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. We frequently incubate efficient B2B2C re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Think intra-strategic. Think holistic, social-network-based. Think web-enabled. Think bleeding-edge, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? Without action-items, you will lack TQC. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. The power to reintermediate extensibly leads to the power to recontextualize virtually.