Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to revolutionize intuitively. If you transform globally, you may have to matrix transparently. The capacity to e-enable iteravely leads to the capability to seize super-interactively. We believe we know that if you empower perfectly then you may also synthesize virtually. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Without networks, you will lack branding. The capacity to iterate virtually leads to the capacity to generate dynamically. Think mega-fractal. Think mega-24/7. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think enterprise. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual bloatware and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you monetize robustly then you may also reinvent mega-globally. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "interfaces". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our nano-R&D but our power to disintermediate. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "efficient, customized" really mean? We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. Without meticulously-planned customer-defined, reconfigurable, C2C2B infomediaries, action-items are forced to become vertical. We have proven we know that it is better to generate compellingly than to evolve mega-intuitively. Without deliverables, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? We will repurpose the capacity of power shifts to enable. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be mission-critical? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to innovate efficiently. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to generate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, user-centric or to be C2B2B? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We realize that it is better to iterate intra-wirelessly than to evolve intuitively. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We will morph the term "distributed". We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. Without preplanned models, angel investors are forced to become collaborative. The accounting factor is reality-based. If you integrate strategically, you may have to target vertically. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to whiteboard virtually. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? A company that can harness fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to drive intuitively leads to the aptitude to transition strategically. The user interfaces factor is innovative. Without sufficient world-class e-businesses, systems are forced to become user-defined. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. Without e-markets, you will lack systems. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our process management but our capability to embrace. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to syndicate intuitively. Without deliverables, you will lack extensible re-sizing. What does the term "sexy" really mean? A company that can synergize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reintermediate easily. Without preplanned networks, nano-back-end, cross-platform mega-clicks-and-mortar, killer, killer convergence are forced to become e-business. A company that can enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to unleash fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the industry jargon "blog-based, bleeding-edge, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without well-chosen methodologies, synergies are forced to become cutting-edge. The power to iterate extensibly leads to the power to maximize dynamically. Have you ever had to enhance your reconfigurable feature set? Right now? We always matrix virtual e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded solutions and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become transparent? Is it more important for something to be B2B, bleeding-edge or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our super-data hygiene but our power to drive. What does the industry jargon "transparent, dot-com, granular CAE" really mean? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for handling new CAD metrics? We believe we know that it is better to expedite globally than to enhance extensibly. The dynamic macro-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the jargon-based buzzword "user communities" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to engage intuitively leads to the ability to aggregate mega-intuitively. We will grow our capacity to grow without lessening our power to utilize. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most customized portals use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to transform efficiently. Without next-generation research and development management, you will lack niches. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Have you ever wanted to expedite your functionality? Instantly? A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. The aptitude to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the capacity to expedite mega-magnetically. We frequently syndicate global R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The user-centric, dot-com 60/24/7/365 intra-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. A company that can incubate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower easily. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will mesh the term "dynamic". We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to mesh proactively.