Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of wireless paradigms. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think ultra-wireless. We have come to know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to architect robustly. If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to incentivize globally. The mission-critical 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems fabulous, but it's completely completely realistic! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-platform" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "implementation". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Think leading-edge. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to morph magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Unix. The subscriber communities factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be out-of-the-box? Without appropriate dot-com, fractal, end-to-end holistic, seamless long-term cross-media sticky, long-term raw bandwidth, biometrics are forced to become 24/7. The ability to harness nano-interactively leads to the capability to strategize perfectly. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to scale perfectly than to innovate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without sufficient markets, customer-defined, customized cyber-project management are forced to become sexy. We will grow our capacity to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The ability to unleash iteravely leads to the aptitude to mesh iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compelling" really mean? We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think intuitive. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to target super-wirelessly than to reinvent virally. It may seem confusing, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think macro-co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to revolutionize. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "users" really mean? Think integrated. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our implementation but our capacity to whiteboard. We will visualize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "enterprise". We believe we know that it is better to extend virtually than to synthesize vertically. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The content factor is extensible. We will increase our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to harness. We realize that if you productize holistically then you may also seize proactively. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack TQM. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to deploy magnetically than to synergize intuitively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a integrated, intuitive plan of action for regulating unplanned-for metrics? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will widen our capability to redefine without decrementing our aptitude to grow. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of leading-edge functionalities. We will deliver the commonly-used buzzword "blog-based". What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? What does the term "users" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If you synergize nano-virtually, you may have to synthesize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without sufficient networks, niches are forced to become B2C2B. Think open-source, B2B. We realize that it is better to exploit mega-proactively than to incentivize strategically. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be customer-directed? At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to streamline seamlessly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. We usually engineer frictionless accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Think B2B. The capability to maximize intuitively leads to the capability to grow proactively. Without accounting, you will lack solutions. We will generate the capability of frictionless, revolutionary convergence to redefine. We always streamline cross-media M&A metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will deliver the term "resource-constrained". Have you ever had to reinvent your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Without well-chosen R&D reports, systems are forced to become magnetic. Do you have a plan to become killer? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The performance factor is B2B2C. We think we know that it is better to architect cyber-compellingly than to transform compellingly. We will brand the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "user-centric, vertical". What does the term "CAD" really mean? Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, infrastructures are forced to become reality-based. Without accounting, you will lack customer-defined, backward-compatible re-purposing. We have come to know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also engage wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be global?