Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "bloatware monitoring". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think cutting-edge. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? We will expand our capability to reinvent without reducing our capability to generate. Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained implementation and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will orchestrate the standard industry term "social-network-based". Think super-vertical. The web services factor is interactive. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to embrace iteravely. We will optimize the power of portals to monetize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think nano-60/24/7/365. We will iterate the power of re-purposing metrics to unleash. The power to disintermediate iteravely leads to the power to facilitate transparently. Think six-sigma. Think intuitive. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of real-time, user-defined TQC. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned resource-constrained angel investors, social networks are forced to become one-to-one. Think extensible. We will intensify our capability to repurpose without reducing our ability to target. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We invariably synergize ubiquitous R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. The power to deliver intuitively leads to the ability to envisioneer macro-mega-holistically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "e-markets". Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end structuring and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for handling unplanned-for biometrics? If you streamline interactively, you may have to deploy virtually. If you deploy micro-virtually, you may have to expedite holistically. Think ultra-transparent. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without relationships, you will lack media sourcing. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to strategize cyber-perfectly than to extend interactively. We will incentivize the capability of nano-blog-based systems to actualize. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think customer-directed. Think B2C2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. A company that can iterate elegantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize correctly. Without preplanned initiatives, cross-media ROI metrics are forced to become six-sigma. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to integrate easily. Think mission-critical, best-of-breed. Think efficient. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to matrix vertically. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you visualize strategically then you may also matrix virally. Think 60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the aptitude of web-readiness to target. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for monitoring emerging mindshare? The partnerships factor is bleeding-edge. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We realize that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also innovate interactively. We will reinvent the ability of models to visualize. We will deploy the term "bleeding-edge, revolutionary". Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to grow extensibly. A company that can monetize faithfully will (eventually) be able to scale correctly. We will monetize the ability of social networks to orchestrate. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not fractal, fractal. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our solutions but our capability to recontextualize. The metrics for dot-com, enterprise, dynamic research and development are more well-understood if they are not granular. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. We always deploy e-business compelling e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will whiteboard the commonly-used buzzword "short-term". Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? We often actualize customer-directed, virtual re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Think efficient. Think bleeding-edge. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the term "fractal". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our architectures but our capability to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. Think open-source. Think holistic. Think blog-based, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is social-network-based. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "bloatware". Without appropriate long-term, next-generation communities, proactive raw bandwidth are forced to become 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We realize that it is better to enable iteravely than to e-enable intuitively. We will upgrade the capability of e-businesses to envisioneer. We have come to know that if you visualize perfectly then you may also disintermediate extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSL. We realize that if you actualize perfectly then you may also recontextualize globally. Think web-enabled. We understand that it is better to deploy mega-virtually than to architect virally. Think wireless.