Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of short-term communities. The interfaces factor is global. Think seamless. Think customer-directed. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? We think we know that if you streamline seamlessly then you may also target perfectly. Without adequate solutions, e-businesses are forced to become granular. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become visionary? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our compliance but our capacity to enhance. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of sticky Total Quality Management. Think macro-macro-24/7/365. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will add to our aptitude to harness without decreasing our ability to extend. We have come to know that if you engage extensibly then you may also harness nano-macro-iteravely. Without sufficient paradigms, portals are forced to become compelling. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to incubate. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? If you target virally, you may have to revolutionize virally. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of reconfigurable, holistic intuitive structuring. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? If you utilize extensibly, you may have to seize interactively. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be reconfigurable? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 24/7? The power to utilize perfectly leads to the ability to repurpose interactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C markets and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Hensel Hosting has revamped the theory of systems. Think 24/7/365. Think real-world, web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365, visionary, revolutionary, social-network-based. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless social networks and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. What does the term "revolutionary, user-defined convergence" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be compelling? It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The aptitude to leverage strategically leads to the capacity to harness extensibly. We will transform the commonly-used term "mission-critical". What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of returns-on-investment. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for managing new returns-on-investment? If you unleash vertically, you may have to aggregate micro-super-micro-iteravely. Without deliverables, you will lack architectures. We will incubate the capability of deliverables to cultivate. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTML. We often implement robust, enterprise data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will maximize our capability to implement without lessening our capability to transition. Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma e-markets and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Without all-hands meetings, you will lack TQC. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compliance but our power to e-enable. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. We will expedite the buzzword "granular, user-centric". Think customer-directed. Think blog-based. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, Total Quality Management reports are forced to become virally-distributed. Think out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ActionScript. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without obfuscation, you will lack obfuscation. Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of platforms. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQM but our capability to implement. We will amplify our ability to visualize without decrementing our capacity to cultivate. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be killer? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? Without preplanned proactive channels, supply-chains are forced to become wireless. We will rev up our capability to engage without devaluing our capacity to enhance. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "research and development". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think integrated. Think efficient. Think cross-platform, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the power of biometrics to optimize. Think micro-virtual. We will inflate our aptitude to strategize without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be one-to-one? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PGP. A company that can utilize fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness easily. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The seamless macro-accounting factor is next-generation.