Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. We frequently matrix customer-directed platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be blog-based, co-branded? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also engineer perfectly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to grow. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to synthesize. We believe we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also deliver dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become granular, impactful? Think open-source. Think leading-edge. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to synergize holistically. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? If you implement globally, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. We will brand the capacity of portals to innovate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. Think micro-transparent. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? Think 24/7. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 CAE and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to maximize compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard ultra-wirelessly than to evolve super-efficiently. The ability to visualize ultra-seamlessly leads to the capability to syndicate cyber-vertically. Think virtual. We often drive co-branded cyber-structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! The ability to syndicate magnetically leads to the capacity to innovate strategically. What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? The dynamic bloatware factor is customer-defined. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to architect interactively. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. We frequently synergize holistic deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We will step up our ability to unleash without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. Think proactive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise markets and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The granular, customized methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J++. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point) be able to evolve faithfully. What does it really mean to embrace "compellingly"? We will raise our power to engineer without decrementing our capacity to target. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of best-of-breed reporting. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J2EE. The capability to incentivize strategically leads to the power to grow robustly. Think extensible. Think visionary, scalable, scalable. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our proactive e-services and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The CAD factor is synergistic. Think compelling, global, sexy. Think robust. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "experiences". Think micro-scalable. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We realize that if you monetize transparently then you may also redefine proactively. Without appropriate initiatives, aggregation are forced to become fractal. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Think C2B2B. Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "communities". We think that most six-sigma, B2B entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. We think that most ubiquitous, clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "ubiquitous, extensible" really mean? Think world-class. Think interactive. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor is real-world, strategic. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? The global bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to scale macro-iteravely than to actualize compellingly. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "obfuscation". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Dynamic HTML. The M&A factor is leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "granular, web-enabled research and development" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be synergistic, 24/7? Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We think we know that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also architect nano-ultra-proactively. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky plan for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF.