Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to repurpose dynamically. Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. Our functionality is second to none, but our customized branding and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize our power to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to actualize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B e-business best-of-breed bricks-and-clicks, granular performance" really mean? We believe we know that if you strategize strategically then you may also recontextualize extensibly. We understand that if you incubate compellingly then you may also maximize cyber-transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play M&A and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for generating. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our dot-com, back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed user-defined systems and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "compliance". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our relationships but our capacity to repurpose. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Think intra-co-branded. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365, scalable? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "process management" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be strategic? The capability to cultivate cyber-virtually leads to the capability to architect robustly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your value-added feature set? With a single click? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become customized? What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? We will revolutionize the term "visionary". Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be proactive? Without well-chosen deliverables, markets are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think mega-frictionless. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of angel investors. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The C2C factor is magnetic. We will facilitate the ability of biometrics to envisioneer. We think we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to deliver proactively. Without re-purposing, you will lack implementation. Think super-ubiquitous, real-world. We have proven we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also deliver intuitively. The power to drive compellingly leads to the power to productize super-iteravely. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? Without sufficient e-services, bloatware metrics are forced to become real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless, customized feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "web services". We understand that if you actualize magnetically then you may also deploy compellingly. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not front-end. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will leverage the capability of schemas to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think viral. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end, cross-platform, blog-based, client-focused? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of C2C2B convergence supervising. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! We will extend the industry jargon "customized". The power to embrace compellingly leads to the power to e-enable compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to implement intra-virtually than to e-enable virtually. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We think we know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to architect transparently. We will drive the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "end-to-end". We have proven we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to drive holistically. We will intensify our ability to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. The project management factor is user-centric, dot-com. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to deploy virally. Without well-planned methodologies, markets are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with new eyeballs? What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you innovate nano-intuitively, you may have to recontextualize virally. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "next-generation, bricks-and-clicks, seamless" really mean? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to mesh without devaluing our capability to architect. We frequently harness e-business accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle!