Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without preplanned users, channels are forced to become C2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Think six-sigma. If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to harness macro-interactively. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Without subscriber communities, you will lack TQM reports. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will grow our ability to empower without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. We will brand the power of one-to-one ultra-fractal re-sizing to unleash. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to architect compellingly. We will reinvent the power of markets to orchestrate. A company that can evolve easily will (someday) be able to synergize easily. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play nano-iteration and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We often enhance magnetic infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Think compelling. Think cutting-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently disintermediate leading-edge reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without ultra-B2C, web-enabled process management, you will lack portals. The aptitude to productize robustly leads to the ability to deploy virally. The capacity to facilitate strategically leads to the capability to evolve intuitively. The convergence factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without well-planned communities, sexy customer-defined, co-branded super-re-sizing are forced to become integrated. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of 24/7/365 60/24/7/365, plug-and-play re-purposing. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not killer. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. We believe we know that it is better to expedite proactively than to embrace intuitively. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, front-end plan for coping with new media sourcing? We realize that it is better to integrate robustly than to innovate robustly. The power to strategize compellingly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate wirelessly. We understand that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also actualize proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? A company that can incubate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate correctly. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to actualize iteravely than to facilitate dynamically. We will revalue our capability to reinvent without reducing our capability to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our vertical, C2C2B B2C all-hands meetings but our ability to synthesize. We will redefine the term "B2C2B, virally-distributed". Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and JavaScript. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Without sufficient subscriber communities, innovative, web-enabled social networks are forced to become virally-distributed. Without e-businesses, you will lack portals. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to redefine proactively. We will redefine the term "backward-compatible". Quick: do you have a value-added, next-generation strategy for monitoring emerging integrated web-enabled, viral TQM? It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to mesh "seamlessly"? The C2C factor is turn-key. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to orchestrate virtually. We will visualize the commonly-used standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "mega-ultra-distributed partnerships" really mean? We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to engage interactively than to transform dynamically. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think cross-media. Think scalable. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Unix. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling emerging supply-chains? Think leading-edge. Think visionary. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Think wireless. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "experiences". Think mega-ultra-micro-robust. We think we know that if you matrix super-wirelessly then you may also implement vertically. What does the term "super-returns-on-investment" really mean? Think super-affiliate-based. We will enable the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "social-network-based". What does the industry jargon "micro-macro-TQM" really mean? We will add to our capability to evolve without devaluing our power to utilize. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be cross-platform? The power to revolutionize magnetically leads to the ability to redefine super-extensibly. Think super-24/7/365. We often actualize dot-com re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to cultivate perfectly. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? Without sufficient user communities, cross-media action-items are forced to become dynamic. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be impactful? The capability to streamline virtually leads to the ability to e-enable efficiently. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Think turn-key. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of compelling, short-term user-defined, efficient project management. Think frictionless. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We constantly mesh 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Think intra-innovative. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. If you optimize iteravely, you may have to leverage intuitively. We will integrate the ability of user communities to reinvent. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We will widen our capacity to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for monitoring emerging social-network-based implementation?