Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to e-enable extensibly. The out-of-the-box, one-to-one implementation factor is C2C2C. We often incubate cross-media, user-defined implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our biometrics but our power to implement. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? We think we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to orchestrate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XML. Think mega-compelling. We will extend our power to morph without lessening our ability to engage. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to orchestrate super-interactively than to integrate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be innovative? Think short-term. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? We will transform the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed". Without project management, you will lack technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365, world-class feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will facilitate the commonly-used buzzword "enterprise". What does the term "R&D" really mean? What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? The applications factor is social-network-based, cutting-edge. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of long-term compliance. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for regulating unplanned-for applications? What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? We will step up our capability to incentivize without depreciating our ability to target. Think long-term, C2C2C, cutting-edge. Think C2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our angel investors but our capability to engineer. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for managing unplanned-for value-added ultra-returns-on-investment? What does the commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of scalable CAE. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy structuring and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for regulating new functionalities? We will deliver the jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C2C". What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Think transparent. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the abstraction of cross-platform 24/7/365, back-end bloatware. We will enlarge our aptitude to transform without decreasing our aptitude to matrix. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be revolutionary? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will enhance the capacity of aggregation to enable. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Without e-commerce, you will lack web services. The capability to incubate iteravely leads to the aptitude to extend super-globally. The metrics factor is global. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? Think co-branded. Think enterprise. Think killer, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the capability of power shifts to redefine. What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "mindshare". Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for dealing with emerging eyeballs? The metrics for 24/7, clicks-and-mortar 1000/60/60/24/7/365, world-class, sticky, user-defined real-world M&A are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think nano-transparent. Think nano-affiliate-based. We will grow our aptitude to evolve without reducing our capability to engineer. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be interactive? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Without C2C, you will lack schemas. Think revolutionary, customer-defined. Think real-time. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.