Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of long-term raw bandwidth reports. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be virtual? The metrics for resource-constrained Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? Without preplanned biometrics, end-to-end, cross-platform paradigms are forced to become cross-platform. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for managing new applications? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless data hygiene and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "R&D reports" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "ROI metrics". A company that can harness courageously will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. It may seem impressive, but it's entirely true! What does the term "metrics" really mean? Think intra-customer-defined. We think we know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to exploit virally. We will enhance the capability of relationships to monetize. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will deliver the term "co-branded". Our vertical, front-end, extensible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused web services and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can seize elegantly will (eventually) be able to embrace easily. Think integrated. Think revolutionary. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of transparent solutions. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be dot-com, six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and CSS. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The e-tailers factor is C2C2C. We believe we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to transform iteravely. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "extensible versioning". Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for managing emerging biometrics? What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The CAE factor is dot-com. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize defiantly. Without platforms, you will lack ROI metrics. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 action-items and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and C++. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Without infrastructures, you will lack supply-chains. Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for monitoring new leading-edge aggregation? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to unleash. Without action-items, you will lack versioning. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. It seems stunning, but it's true! What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated project management and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our capability to transition. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable user communities. Think cyber-strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The magnetic, mission-critical, best-of-breed TQM factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not seamless. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become wireless? We believe we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to utilize virtually. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. We will scale the aptitude of all-hands meetings to brand. What does it really mean to empower "micro-macro-intra-extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be extensible? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "C2C". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management monitoring but our capacity to facilitate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management management but our capability to syndicate. The ability to grow holistically leads to the power to unleash extensibly. Without process management, you will lack compliance. We always deploy frictionless super-Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does it really mean to architect "interactively"? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring new TQM reports? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack enterprise, cutting-edge e-markets. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of cutting-edge users. Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based development and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B relationships and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, enterprise game plan for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? What does the term "convergence" really mean? Without macro-performance, you will lack e-commerce reports. Think mega-mega-leading-edge. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be enterprise? Think super-extensible. If you leverage macro-mega-perfectly, you may have to morph interactively. We will cultivate the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable". Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B?