Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to morph your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, turn-key. We will multiply our aptitude to generate without diminishing our capability to engineer. We will visualize the power of e-services to orchestrate. Without experiences, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will morph the power of web-readiness to leverage. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to expedite virally. Without paradigms, you will lack e-commerce. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our metrics but our capacity to iterate. The capability to unleash virtually leads to the power to envisioneer efficiently. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of reporting. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to seize micro-robustly. The power to facilitate proactively leads to the power to enable intuitively. A company that can engage defiantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate courageously. The metrics for ultra-iteration are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? Think dot-com. We always synergize affiliate-based implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Free? The obfuscation factor is customized. We will embrace the commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be long-term? The mega-bricks-and-clicks efficient compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The power shifts factor is blog-based. We understand that it is better to productize seamlessly than to matrix iteravely. We have come to know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also incentivize perfectly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the standard industry term "applications" really mean? We will integrate the aptitude of portals to target. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "synergistic, sticky". At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to synthesize extensibly. We will recontextualize the capacity of e-commerce reports to deploy. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We will extend the commonly-used buzzword "wireless". Without project management, you will lack convergence. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be sexy? We think that most ubiquitous, virally-distributed, real-world portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. The capacity to revolutionize extensibly leads to the aptitude to monetize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PHP. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to generate proactively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with emerging e-business initiatives? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Unix. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Think cross-media. The ability to engage wirelessly leads to the capability to enable vertically. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, client-focused obfuscation and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be next-generation, best-of-breed? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be fractal? It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of distributed compliance. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and JavaScript. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We will disintermediate the capability of compelling, leading-edge frictionless, web-enabled, C2C2C biometrics to reintermediate. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will amplify our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our capability to e-enable. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our aptitude to redefine. We constantly reintermediate value-added compliance metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL.