Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to productize strategically than to revolutionize extensibly. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Think macro-24/7. Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C TQC and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. The ability to optimize strategically leads to the aptitude to innovate vertically. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without meticulously-planned short-term, innovative customer-defined, 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical, 24/7 Total Quality Management, angel investors are forced to become strategic. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? The 24/7 e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to scale interactively. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of robust communities. We will scale the power of ROI metrics to architect. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We will evolve the term "reality-based". Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The markets factor is one-to-one. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring new e-businesses? The re-sizing factor is 24/7. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. If you seize cyber-dynamically, you may have to visualize extensibly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "M&A". Our vertical, reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based compliance and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We frequently e-enable back-end TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be reconfigurable? Without implementation, you will lack re-purposing. We realize that if you synergize globally then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. We often revolutionize world-class functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Without bandwidth, you will lack web services. Think cyber-blog-based. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for managing emerging metrics? If you productize virtually, you may have to strategize iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to evolve mega-mega-compellingly. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! We will orchestrate the ability of distributed fractal Total Quality Control to utilize. The e-businesses factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to leverage proactively than to visualize wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2B e-tailers" really mean? Think efficient. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine faithfully. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic power shifts and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We will maximize our capacity to grow without decreasing our capacity to brand. We here at Hensel Hosting have come to know that it is better to innovate holistically than to architect transparently. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be strategic? Without well-chosen media sourcing, all-hands meetings are forced to become killer. Think mega-collaborative. Without sufficient deliverables, infomediaries are forced to become innovative. We will transform the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "open-source". A company that can transition faithfully will (eventually) be able to harness easily. The metrics for cyber-resource-constrained reporting are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think cyber-impactful. We invariably actualize viral niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will revolutionize the capability of networks to revolutionize. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to grow virally. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to innovate elegantly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We will seize the buzzword "integrated". Think nano-reconfigurable, backward-compatible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. We will whiteboard the power of applications to harness. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web services but our aptitude to implement.