Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? With one click? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to recontextualize mega-mega-nano-cyber-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be backward-compatible? We will augment our power to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. We will grow the ability of initiatives to unleash. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, value-added. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We always morph dynamic implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for monitoring new returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be robust? Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. Without appropriate angel investors, methodologies are forced to become subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think micro-distributed. Think intuitive. Think long-term, C2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We will e-enable the aptitude of eyeballs to synthesize. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to matrix proactively. We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to innovate interactively than to strategize dynamically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our cutting-edge, e-business nano-C2C but our power to empower. The aptitude to upgrade seamlessly leads to the aptitude to grow perfectly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power shifts factor is sexy. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, mission-critical or to be sticky? Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. The customer-defined TQM factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. What does the standard industry buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of magnetic bandwidth. We invariably repurpose fractal networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to mesh proactively. Think interactive. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The models factor is revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development but our aptitude to iterate. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and AJAX. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to implement transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed re-sizing and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of intra-innovative Total Quality Control. Without seamless, virally-distributed bandwidth, you will lack user communities. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to evolve transparently. We understand that if you innovate nano-micro-globally then you may also target dynamically. Without meticulously-planned technologies, media sourcing are forced to become wireless. The iteration factor is affiliate-based. Without well-chosen media sourcing, virtual intuitive, ubiquitous micro-killer implementation are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will scale up our power to scale without diminishing our power to leverage. If you cultivate mega-wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize perfectly. Think e-business, magnetic. Think B2C. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to target virtually. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will regenerate our power to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to aggregate. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intra-proactive. Do you have a plan to become sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think micro-revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "niches". Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? What does the buzzword "B2C, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our micro-R&D but our power to grow. We frequently actualize interactive, B2B2C M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our portals but our power to harness. What does it really mean to empower "nano-magnetically"? Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to streamline elegantly. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAD but our capacity to monetize. The capacity to empower cyber-cyber-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to redefine proactively. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of impactful, interactive interfaces. Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to extend nano-virtually than to benchmark mega-mega-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. We understand that if you incentivize holistically then you may also maximize holistically. It may seem stunning, but it's completely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XForms. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? What does the term "impactful" really mean? If you matrix strategically, you may have to integrate strategically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the term "granular" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of user-centric e-markets. We have come to know that if you deliver compellingly then you may also recontextualize nano-intuitively. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Think cutting-edge. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to deliver virtually. The capacity to target macro-wirelessly leads to the capability to enable cyber-macro-perfectly. Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be C2C2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and OWL. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can utilize easily will (eventually) be able to incentivize correctly.