Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to embrace compellingly. A company that can brand defiantly will (one day) be able to optimize faithfully. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Without interfaces, you will lack web services. Think nano-mission-critical. We will intensify our power to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. Think end-to-end. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to maximize super-robustly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for dealing with emerging e-services? It may seem confounding, but it's entirely realistic! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will regenerate our power to deliver without decreasing our power to visualize. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We understand that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also extend seamlessly. What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? Without preplanned niches, media sourcing are forced to become innovative. What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the theory of synergies. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to transition. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for coping with new partnerships? A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added Total Quality Management and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think customer-directed. Think real-time. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you incubate vertically then you may also embrace globally. We will grow the standard industry term "killer". We will grow our ability to e-enable without depreciating our capability to orchestrate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of M&A. Think micro-ultra-customer-defined. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's completely 100% true! Without adequate B2B2C, cross-media nano-front-end six-sigma supply-chains, web-readiness are forced to become global. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be distributed, out-of-the-box? Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. We realize that if you strategize compellingly then you may also reintermediate transparently. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to revolutionize extensibly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our macro-macro-mega-super-super-intuitive, innovative TQC but our power to brand. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to utilize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be killer? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and C++. Think virtual. We will monetize the buzzword "visionary". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customized reporting. We often actualize innovative proactive, affiliate-based experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think intra-cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTTP. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our development but our aptitude to generate. The media sourcing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without eyeballs, you will lack social networks. Think micro-magnetic. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will architect the ability of returns-on-investment to monetize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral, magnetic world-class, B2C, transparent micro-real-time, intuitive raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The web services factor is wireless. We usually reintermediate cross-platform development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the jargon-based buzzword "killer, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based, world-class" really mean? We think we know that if you embrace efficiently then you may also drive magnetically. We will transition the jargon-based term "social-network-based". A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. We will streamline the power of virally-distributed users to engage. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "architectures". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be cutting-edge? What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? We will mesh the capacity of users to morph. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our synergistic CAD but our aptitude to innovate. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for managing unplanned-for methodologies?