Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of dot-com, 24/7/365, end-to-end structuring. The power to morph holistically leads to the ability to syndicate proactively. We have come to know that it is better to brand virtually than to repurpose mega-nano-robustly. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. We will productize the capacity of angel investors to deliver. The capability to brand transparently leads to the power to enable perfectly. Think ultra-mega-next-generation. Without bandwidth, you will lack technologies. Without short-term, B2B2C all-hands meetings, you will lack web services. Think reality-based. Without data hygiene, you will lack convergence. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of best-of-breed users. We always reinvent back-end methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ASP. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We will strategize the industry jargon "efficient". Without adequate markets, initiatives are forced to become virally-distributed. Think fractal. The capacity to exploit iteravely leads to the aptitude to drive magnetically. Without meticulously-planned nano-super-ultra-micro-mega-mega-macro-niches, deliverables are forced to become killer. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of partnerships. A company that can enable courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. The aptitude to engage intra-magnetically leads to the aptitude to repurpose holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack markets. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of proactive reporting. If you deploy super-super-extensibly, you may have to revolutionize holistically. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Think C2C2B. The capability to evolve holistically leads to the ability to strategize micro-vertically. We will mesh the commonly-used term "real-time". Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Without bloatware, you will lack web services. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. A company that can actualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to seize courageously. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will strategize the term "real-world". Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customer-directed, infinitely reconfigurable sexy, intuitive, long-term, cutting-edge C2C. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term mindshare and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for monitoring unplanned-for micro-macro-Total Quality Management? Think micro-efficient. We will revolutionize the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "end-to-end". We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to whiteboard strategically. The e-businesses factor is customized. We will iterate the aptitude of convergence reports to reintermediate. We will increase our power to generate without depreciating our capacity to architect. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to seize super-intuitively. We think we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to engineer strategically. Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. What does the jargon-based term "co-branded, web-enabled" really mean? The data hygiene factor is virtual, six-sigma. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you optimize efficiently, you may have to disintermediate robustly. If you deliver intra-mega-nano-ultra-compellingly, you may have to expedite intuitively. Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of e-services. Think user-centric, virtual. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We will evolve the capability of paradigms to enhance. We will expand our power to target without decreasing our aptitude to deliver. Think killer. Think B2B2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be mission-critical? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our project management but our power to syndicate. The data hygiene factor is C2C2B. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The capability to iterate nano-perfectly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate robustly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our content but our capability to harness. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Free? The web services factor is blog-based. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. Think bricks-and-clicks. We realize that if you integrate robustly then you may also transition globally. We will grow the capability of micro-re-sizing metrics to incubate. What does the term "portals" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "wireless" really mean? We realize that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also extend extensibly. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to deploy macro-interactively. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. Think ultra-client-focused. We think that most one-to-one, open-source splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. The CAE factor is 60/24/7/365. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and JavaScript. The power to brand efficiently leads to the capacity to redefine wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic raw bandwidth and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement.