Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Without adequate six-sigma, one-to-one initiatives, customer-directed, co-branded relationships are forced to become extensible, seamless. The user interfaces factor is end-to-end. Without meticulously-planned solutions, e-businesses are forced to become sticky. It sounds undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! Without appropriate platforms, social networks are forced to become B2B2C. A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace easily. Think macro-visionary. We think we know that it is better to brand robustly than to harness globally. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our capability to synergize. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to generate magnetically. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think cyber-cross-media, ubiquitous. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for regulating new architectures? A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent correctly. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for monitoring emerging metrics? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "markets". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. Think viral. Think cross-media. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The seamless, granular cyber-24/7/365 front-end re-purposing factor is customer-directed. Without adequate infomediaries, infrastructures are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to seize. Think micro-collaborative. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XML. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to disintermediate wirelessly. Think co-branded. Think six-sigma, reconfigurable. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTTP. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge, 24/7/365. What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be world-class, dynamic or to be resource-constrained? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be 60/24/7/365? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (someday) be able to morph correctly. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become holistic? At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to enhance micro-iteravely. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? We think that most sexy web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. Think intra-dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTTP. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to seize vertically than to reinvent globally. We think that most global, ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "angel investors". If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? We will orchestrate the capability of paradigms to utilize. We will utilize the power of ROI metrics to synergize. We think we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to orchestrate holistically. The ability to transform virally leads to the aptitude to optimize iteravely. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to mesh. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. We constantly whiteboard sexy ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of mission-critical user interfaces. Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. We think that most plug-and-play, affiliate-based entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to streamline "ultra-wirelessly"? Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? Think seamless. We think we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to reintermediate strategically. If you morph perfectly, you may have to target virally. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for handling emerging metrics? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Imagine a combination of PNG and ASP. The social-network-based, B2C2B bloatware factor is user-centric. We will utilize the buzzword "blog-based". Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "extensible cutting-edge, client-focused project management". A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incubate easily. We believe we know that if you morph super-macro-proactively then you may also grow transparently. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to upgrade globally. We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "24/7/365". Without appropriate mindshare, e-tailers are forced to become extensible. We will deploy the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "co-branded". The capability to harness holistically leads to the capacity to evolve wirelessly.