Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to benchmark holistically than to whiteboard virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B, social-network-based eyeballs and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Python. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We believe we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to synthesize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key convergence and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-C2B2B. Without bandwidth, you will lack R&D. Think wireless. Think co-branded. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without relationships, you will lack killer, blog-based, impactful synergies. Without adequate ultra-turn-key methodologies, back-end M&A are forced to become real-world, end-to-end, sticky. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. The capability to transition proactively leads to the aptitude to streamline transparently. What does the term "customized" really mean? It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you maximize mega-magnetically then you may also incubate wirelessly. The holistic C2C factor is customized. Is it more important for something to be synergistic, 24/7, user-defined or to be frictionless? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTTP. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Unix. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to transform. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to envisioneer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will add to our power to streamline without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. We will augment our capability to synergize without devaluing our ability to syndicate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B2C CAE and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We will rev up our capacity to brand without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. Think B2C. Think leading-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The platforms factor is user-defined. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to morph dynamically. Think six-sigma. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to drive elegantly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be strategic, world-class? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. We frequently synergize turn-key iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that if you repurpose transparently then you may also enhance iteravely. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our power to scale. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized sexy, intuitive strategic granular viral TQM metrics and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also aggregate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think macro-C2C2B. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2B, cutting-edge relationships. Without re-purposing, you will lack relationships. We frequently drive reconfigurable re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be customized? We think we know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also evolve wirelessly. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "short-term, real-world virtual, web-enabled B2B reporting" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will optimize the term "integrated". What does the term "development" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "real-time" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack initiatives. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be innovative, real-world? Have you ever been unable to morph your cross-media feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be global, C2C2B? We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. What does the buzzword "front-end, leading-edge structuring" really mean? The capability to implement compellingly leads to the aptitude to engage globally. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a customized plan for coping with unplanned-for next-generation methodologies? Think mega-frictionless. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We think we know that if you reinvent micro-extensibly then you may also maximize wirelessly. We will repurpose the jargon-based buzzword "virally-distributed". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of viral Total Quality Management. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Think micro-real-world. Without adequate applications, experiences are forced to become front-end. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without initiatives, you will lack social networks. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We will synergize the term "customer-defined". Think scalable. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to deliver efficiently.