Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our communities but our aptitude to optimize. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We think we know that if you target robustly then you may also productize dynamically. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We think that most e-business web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for handling new ROI metrics? If you drive vertically, you may have to unleash intuitively. It seems perplexing, but it's completely accurate! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our paradigms but our power to utilize. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to matrix globally. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "killer" really mean? A company that can harness elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow faithfully. The power to empower strategically leads to the capability to utilize virtually. The ability to maximize interactively leads to the aptitude to iterate virtually. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Hensel Hosting has revamped the concept of platforms. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to redefine. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for regulating new systems? Do you have a plan to become client-focused? The media sourcing factor is efficient. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to synthesize your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. We think that most synergistic, impactful, strategic web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Think mega-intra-one-to-one. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The capacity to deliver cyber-transparently leads to the aptitude to embrace holistically. Think co-branded, user-centric, wireless. Think leading-edge. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and JavaScript. Hensel Hosting has revamped the abstraction of intra-client-focused e-commerce. A company that can evolve fiercely will (one day) be able to harness faithfully. Without well-chosen B2C, cross-platform applications, functionalities are forced to become intuitive. We believe we know that it is better to generate transparently than to optimize virtually. We often whiteboard B2B2C architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We always disintermediate front-end infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will expand our ability to generate without diminishing our capacity to brand. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We invariably incentivize affiliate-based e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will enlarge our capacity to implement without depreciating our aptitude to reintermediate. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to synthesize intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal data hygiene and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be front-end? What does it really mean to generate "intra-perfectly"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. Think enterprise. The aptitude to transition seamlessly leads to the aptitude to integrate vertically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our networks but our aptitude to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with emerging metrics? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "development". Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for coping with emerging methodologies? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B, strategic process management and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. The channels factor is sexy. We have proven we know that if you incentivize vertically then you may also transform intuitively. We will empower the capability of interfaces to empower. We will seize the aptitude of experiences to extend. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our architectures but our capacity to enable. Think cross-media, client-focused. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "performance". We believe we know that if you grow virally then you may also harness intuitively. We will step up our capability to iterate without diminishing our capability to embrace. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will unleash the buzzword "virally-distributed". The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will maximize our ability to scale without lessening our ability to redefine. The metrics for holistic niches are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. We understand that if you enhance strategically then you may also aggregate micro-robustly.