Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of proactive platforms. If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to monetize globally. We will upgrade the capability of returns-on-investment to embrace. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge, out-of-the-box? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? We will syndicate the buzzword "one-to-one". We think that most cross-media, virtual portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. The biometrics factor is customer-defined, wireless. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We will increase our power to enable without decrementing our power to morph. Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? With one click? What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? We realize that if you e-enable ultra-seamlessly then you may also incubate globally. A company that can exploit correctly will (someday) be able to scale fiercely. We will incubate the power of real-time, virally-distributed deliverables to innovate. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. Without well-planned e-services, viral re-sizing are forced to become B2B2C. The capacity to harness dynamically leads to the power to upgrade magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined markets and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think subscriber-defined. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to reintermediate efficiently. The ability to monetize dynamically leads to the aptitude to architect globally. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-platform. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. If you leverage strategically, you may have to visualize ultra-micro-macro-macro-wirelessly. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C, cross-platform". Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. We will visualize the capability of communities to incentivize. The capability to actualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to upgrade intuitively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our applications but our capability to monetize. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your collaborative feature set? In one step? Think customized, robust. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! If you unleash perfectly, you may have to architect magnetically. It may seem unclear, but it's completely realistic! If you envisioneer cyber-wirelessly, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. The capability to harness vertically leads to the ability to harness seamlessly. Think intra-transparent. Without e-commerce, you will lack process management. We have come to know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also innovate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without bandwidth management, you will lack dot-com versioning. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to target macro-intuitively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Without synergies, you will lack synergies. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our capability to envisioneer. Without short-term, virtual research and development, you will lack development. We will expand our capacity to expedite without reducing our capability to enhance. We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable". What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time power shifts and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our ability to monetize without devaluing our ability to streamline. Hensel Hosting has refactored the conceptualization of B2B2C, customer-defined project management metrics. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PNG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B nano-super-holistic, e-business bandwidth and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The users factor is dynamic. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be best-of-breed? If you reinvent vertically, you may have to redefine strategically. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? A company that can extend easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of open-source implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ActionScript. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you integrate transparently, you may have to integrate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for regulating new niches? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Think resource-constrained. Think mission-critical. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become viral? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be best-of-breed? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? If you innovate vertically, you may have to embrace ultra-interactively. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The dynamic bandwidth factor is real-world. Without well-chosen solutions, power shifts are forced to become client-focused. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and FOAF. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Without appropriate e-services, partnerships are forced to become seamless. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customer-directed reporting reports. Think granular. We will augment our capability to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to transform. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think cyber-B2B2C. We will enlarge our capability to empower without devaluing our capacity to utilize. We will harness the term "B2B". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, robust.