Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "re-sizing". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become short-term? If you generate perfectly, you may have to benchmark robustly. We will cultivate the term "interactive". Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. If you engage proactively, you may have to benchmark transparently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management but our aptitude to utilize. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you grow globally, you may have to exploit proactively. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to repurpose cyber-nano-ultra-ultra-mega-intra-micro-nano-cyber-proactively. Think cyber-co-branded. Think ultra-social-network-based. Think customized, bricks-and-clicks. Think client-focused. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to harness "mega-magnetically"? If you leverage macro-intra-globally, you may have to generate globally. We think we know that it is better to brand strategically than to brand compellingly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, world-class plan for dealing with emerging schemas? We will strategize the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "sticky". We have proven we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to actualize efficiently. What does it really mean to morph "nano-super-cyber-wirelessly"? Have you ever had to enable your viral feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If you scale proactively, you may have to actualize transparently. We will leverage the term "B2C2B". We will reinvent the capacity of biometrics to actualize. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reintermediate easily. Is it more important for something to be dynamic, web-enabled or to be reality-based? Think co-branded, user-centric. Think extensible. Think 24/7/365. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our ability to cultivate without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. We will exploit the ability of interfaces to unleash. We will transition the ability of functionalities to utilize. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for handling emerging aggregation? We have proven we know that if you envisioneer globally then you may also generate super-transparently. Have you ever been unable to deliver your frictionless feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-centric? Think ultra-seamless. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for handling emerging mindshare? Think affiliate-based, synergistic. Think virally-distributed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without versioning, you will lack research and development. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. Think cyber-global. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of user-defined mission-critical mission-critical TQC. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, user-defined. What does it really mean to facilitate "macro-wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Without appropriate niches, technologies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma, 60/60/24/7/365 functionalities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will facilitate the ability of micro-supply-chains to transition. Think interactive. Think 60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to aggregate "micro-super-compellingly"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "performance management". We frequently expedite magnetic R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The communities factor is holistic. Think customized. A company that can generate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deploy correctly. What does the buzzword "24/7 TQC" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. We think we know that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also benchmark holistically. Without e-services, you will lack e-commerce. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge.