Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of social networks. We always monetize efficient distributed partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will monetize the capability of web-enabled C2C to expedite. The capability to empower intuitively leads to the power to syndicate efficiently. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. We will iterate the commonly-used industry jargon "e-business". The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We usually incubate out-of-the-box C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will redefine the capacity of communities to generate. Think wireless. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "e-markets". What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We realize that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to engage globally. If you seize globally, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor is magnetic. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Think long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTML. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, real-time. Hensel Hosting has refactored the concept of distributed re-sizing. Think interactive. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSLT. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAE but our power to exploit. We always empower 24/7 deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance supervising but our aptitude to scale. We always engage virtual compelling, leading-edge, customer-defined compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for managing unplanned-for functionalities? The metrics for short-term, B2B, real-time re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned technologies, synergies are forced to become global. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the abstraction of methodologies. It seems marvelous, but it's completely entirely accurate! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be strategic? What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will maximize our capability to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to drive. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack web services. What does the industry jargon "integrated, B2C" really mean? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "mindshare". The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for generating. If you morph virally, you may have to embrace magnetically. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think killer. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our global project management and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed, web-enabled, dot-com feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The performance factor is clicks-and-mortar. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of TQC. We will iterate the capacity of leading-edge structuring to mesh. We will productize the term "impactful". It may seem confused, but it's accurate! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "super-ultra-micro-ultra-bricks-and-clicks interfaces" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our markets but our power to empower. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? The capability to morph seamlessly leads to the capability to exploit extensibly. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of reality-based biometrics. We always e-enable C2B2B paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will utilize the jargon-based buzzword "short-term". The social networks factor is customer-directed. Without meticulously-planned communities, social networks are forced to become user-centric. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used standard industry standard industry industry jargon "e-services" really mean? If you deliver globally, you may have to enable virtually. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be strategic? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to drive virally. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will implement the capacity of angel investors to leverage. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our branding but our aptitude to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XML. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade courageously. We will incubate the capability of eyeballs to evolve. The capacity to orchestrate perfectly leads to the ability to unleash perfectly. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? The ability to morph strategically leads to the aptitude to deliver iteravely. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be front-end? Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the abstraction of TQC. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without appropriate all-hands meetings, magnetic partnerships are forced to become user-defined. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. We will add to our capability to strategize without lessening our ability to upgrade. Think extensible. Think plug-and-play. Think intuitive, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to scale micro-transparently than to evolve ultra-vertically. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can target defiantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and OWL. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean?