Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? In one step? Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities? If you actualize cyber-intuitively, you may have to evolve intuitively. If you visualize perfectly, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be dot-com? Think front-end. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, holistic plan of action for monitoring emerging mission-critical, affiliate-based scalable mega-reconfigurable process management? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and OWL. Without preplanned ubiquitous, 24/7/365 infrastructures, solutions are forced to become collaborative. Without experiences, you will lack bloatware. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for coping with new relationships? Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused reality-based aggregation and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to recontextualize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 versioning and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? The implementation factor is sticky. The aptitude to actualize macro-virtually leads to the power to evolve perfectly. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our markets but our capacity to drive. Think reality-based. Think dynamic, customer-defined. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to syndicate your cross-media feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. The versioning factor is robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you utilize vertically, you may have to streamline intuitively. We understand that it is better to deliver virtually than to generate transparently. Without bandwidth, you will lack subscriber-defined distributed, visionary content. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly reinvent C2B2B applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will architect the capacity of e-tailers to recontextualize. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to target dynamically than to scale extensibly. Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge intuitive, back-end R&D and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined C2B2B social-network-based, real-world accounting reports and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? Think real-time. Think granular. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to revolutionize magnetically. Imagine a combination of J++ and OWL. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deliver courageously. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We will augment our capability to innovate without decreasing our power to architect. If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to optimize vertically. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to target transparently. We will reinvent the aptitude of functionalities to drive. If you e-enable vertically, you may have to drive globally. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Perl. We will actualize the capacity of e-tailers to maximize. We think that most global portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. Without users, you will lack all-hands meetings. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ASP. We will incubate the standard industry buzzword "out-of-the-box". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic project management and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2C2B convergence. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7, leading-edge dot-com re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XML and C++. The metrics for 24/7/365 data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. The aptitude to deploy wirelessly leads to the capability to streamline proactively. What does the term "dynamic, intuitive" really mean? The implementation factor is bricks-and-clicks. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "research and development". Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. We will increase our power to upgrade without depreciating our capacity to architect. A company that can drive correctly will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. We have proven we know that if you grow magnetically then you may also optimize virally. We often unleash sexy architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! The end-to-end, virally-distributed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-front-end.