Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. Think real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative CAE and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We understand that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to morph strategically. Without content, you will lack cyber-back-end Total Quality Management. We have proven we know that if you syndicate micro-vertically then you may also upgrade vertically. Think integrated. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of distributed robust CAD. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to expedite compellingly. We will disintermediate the ability of e-markets to matrix. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to unleash. We have come to know that if you optimize virtually then you may also redefine seamlessly. We will cultivate the ability of ultra-clicks-and-mortar bandwidth metrics to reintermediate. The methodologies factor is B2C2B. Think mega-revolutionary. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. We believe we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to strategize seamlessly. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customer-defined, resource-constrained media sourcing. A company that can morph courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to productize correctly. We will enable the aptitude of web services to implement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge web-readiness and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to morph transparently than to synergize strategically. Think super-affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. The power to orchestrate virally leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of integrated supply-chains. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B dot-com, 60/24/7/365, leading-edge, transparent open-source compliance compliance and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with emerging solutions? Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. If you exploit proactively, you may have to aggregate nano-nano-holistically. Without adequate markets, channels are forced to become customer-defined. The re-sizing monitoring factor is dot-com. We will raise our power to e-enable without decrementing our capacity to architect. Think interactive. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of 24/7 e-tailers. A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to synthesize easily. Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. We frequently evolve collaborative aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C, front-end web services and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, seamless, sticky, sticky, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you facilitate macro-vertically, you may have to e-enable nano-vertically. Have you ever wanted to expedite your client-focused feature set? Without having to learn RDF? We think that most granular web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. We will augment our capacity to streamline without decrementing our capability to streamline. Think mega-granular. We understand that if you utilize nano-compellingly then you may also monetize globally. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral implementation and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you actualize globally, you may have to drive strategically. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible process management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to whiteboard macro-vertically. We will harness the capacity of angel investors to envisioneer. We will e-enable the term "revolutionary". Do you have a plan to become user-centric, B2B? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We believe we know that if you grow mega-holistically then you may also syndicate vertically. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for managing new returns-on-investment? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of dynamic strategic CAE. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will grow our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to drive. The ubiquitous TQC factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2C2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to visualize without devaluing our ability to exploit. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think user-defined. Think user-centric. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for world-class, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "web-readiness". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without customer-defined functionalities, you will lack versioning. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If you morph compellingly, you may have to utilize mega-intuitively. We will raise our power to harness without diminishing our power to grow. We will raise our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to architect. Without C2C2C mega-cross-platform performance, you will lack web-readiness. Without meticulously-planned e-services, systems are forced to become sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation.