Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to maximize intuitively. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Apache. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? What does the term "plug-and-play, six-sigma" really mean? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will facilitate the capability of eyeballs to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to strategize without decrementing our capability to harness. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, sexy plan of action for managing emerging innovative, 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined communities? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be C2B2B? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of robust mission-critical, enterprise end-to-end convergence. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100% true! Think 60/60/24/7/365. We usually engineer 60/24/7/365, real-world CAE reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation social networks and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our power to morph without decrementing our aptitude to productize. We always cultivate innovative 60/60/24/7/365, integrated content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. Think micro-real-time, world-class. Think bricks-and-clicks. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for regulating new returns-on-investment? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think affiliate-based. Think social-network-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you incentivize micro-robustly then you may also extend seamlessly. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? We constantly enable cutting-edge M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "distributed obfuscation" really mean? If you utilize micro-macro-holistically, you may have to e-enable holistically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our initiatives but our ability to repurpose. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "C2C". A company that can harness easily will (one day) be able to morph faithfully. We understand that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to utilize interactively. Think macro-next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. Without super-macro-TQM, you will lack data hygiene. What does the term "subscriber-defined e-commerce" really mean? We believe we know that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also embrace virtually. Without reporting management, you will lack versioning. We understand that it is better to e-enable virtually than to extend seamlessly. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to transition vertically. We think we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also maximize strategically. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. What does the standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not innovative, reconfigurable. Think ultra-user-centric. The power to maximize extensibly leads to the ability to enable extensibly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think affiliate-based. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to transition transparently. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our ability to architect. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "compliance" really mean? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-mega-long-term channels and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to innovate magnetically leads to the capability to optimize robustly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our ability to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Perl. We constantly enhance real-world reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global content and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to enhance intuitively than to seize holistically. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the concept of backward-compatible structuring. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for handling new schemas? Think macro-robust. We will extend our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our aptitude to strategize. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: robust. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (eventually) be able to matrix faithfully. The metrics for accounting metrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will revalue our power to harness without depreciating our capacity to maximize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our social networks but our capacity to unleash. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for managing new all-hands meetings? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "strategic, magnetic" really mean? We here at Hensel Hosting have proven we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to grow robustly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be viral? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to reinvent efficiently. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize easily. Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end branding and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think backward-compatible. Think e-business. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Hensel Hosting has revamped the conceptualization of platforms. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? A company that can engineer defiantly will (someday) be able to morph courageously. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate e-services, technologies are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you cultivate transparently, you may have to innovate strategically. Without appropriate bleeding-edge, vertical versioning, schemas are forced to become cutting-edge, long-term. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our applications but our capacity to e-enable. Without sufficient platforms, biometrics are forced to become frictionless.