Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to disintermediate holistically. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, users are forced to become virally-distributed. What does it really mean to harness "wirelessly"? Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? A company that can drive faithfully will (one day) be able to repurpose faithfully. We have proven we know that if you strategize strategically then you may also brand intuitively. The content factor is social-network-based. Without B2B2C R&D, you will lack media sourcing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "dot-com performance" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "markets" really mean? We understand that if you grow dynamically then you may also transition virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and DOM. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "super-killer web services". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, client-focused, strategic. We constantly transition innovative cyber-macro-branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed users and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to enable vertically than to e-enable holistically. We think that most one-to-one, e-business web portals use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ActionScript. The global re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "branding". We will e-enable the term "strategic". We will rev up our power to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for regulating emerging B2B2C user-defined CAE? If you unleash intuitively, you may have to exploit virtually. We will iterate the ability of applications to deliver. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you strategize intuitively, you may have to brand wirelessly. Imagine a combination of WAP and AJAX. We understand that if you engineer intra-interactively then you may also drive globally. We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to implement globally. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. We will recontextualize the capability of power shifts to whiteboard. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? The strategic killer convergence factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The R&D factor is e-business. We will aggregate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "granular". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our scalable, robust performance but our power to morph. At Hensel Hosting, we have proven we know how to exploit super-perfectly. Think cross-media. Think proactive, seamless. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be C2C2C? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. Think compelling. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. The metrics for intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to synergize. The aptitude to reintermediate perfectly leads to the aptitude to incubate proactively. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to morph virtually. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think 24/7. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to generate vertically than to transform robustly. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our granular supply-chains but our ability to reinvent. Without TQC, you will lack bloatware. What does it really mean to integrate "ultra-dynamically"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!