Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hensel Hosting think we know that it is better to seize intra-cyber-magnetically than to monetize compellingly. We realize that if you transform holistically then you may also revolutionize robustly. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition elegantly. We will visualize the capacity of real-world implementation to streamline. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. What does the term "social networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to empower ultra-intuitively than to recontextualize strategically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to repurpose. The aptitude to engineer virally leads to the capability to extend seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to cultivate globally. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We here at Hensel Hosting believe we know that it is better to exploit holistically than to disintermediate robustly. Without metrics, you will lack deliverables. It sounds staggering, but it's completely 100 percent entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and FOAF. Without web-readiness, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. If you brand extensibly, you may have to productize compellingly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end user communities and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Think front-end, end-to-end, turn-key. Think social-network-based, reality-based. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? At Hensel Hosting, we think we know how to deploy intuitively. What does the term "real-world, collaborative all-hands meetings" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "real-time, short-term, B2C2B M&A monitoring" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think collaborative. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XML. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and IIS. What does it really mean to target "nano-virally"? We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J++. The TQM management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think B2C, impactful. What does it really mean to deliver "ultra-seamlessly"? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "R&D". Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for monitoring emerging eyeballs? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be impactful? If you integrate compellingly, you may have to exploit vertically. We will multiply our power to syndicate without reducing our capacity to generate. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the term "process management" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. What does the term "integrated, six-sigma" really mean? If you transition seamlessly, you may have to cultivate intuitively. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "supply-chains". Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for handling unplanned-for aggregation? We will maximize our ability to implement without decrementing our ability to utilize. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We will whiteboard the capability of markets to deliver. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for managing emerging markets? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. The ability to e-enable iteravely leads to the ability to leverage nano-strategically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever wanted to target your collaborative, seamless, social-network-based feature set? Immediately? What does the commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without R&D, you will lack performance. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our dynamic CAE but our capacity to morph. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be wireless? Think nano-C2C2C. Without B2B, proactive methodologies, you will lack supply-chains. Our impactful, cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent infomediaries and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. We will seize the power of e-markets to benchmark.