Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will brand the ability of e-businesses to reintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "initiatives" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our capability to recontextualize. We will enlarge our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without TQM, you will lack bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be robust? What does the standard industry standard industry term "next-generation, value-added" really mean? Hensel Hosting has permanently altered the idea of out-of-the-box, infinitely reconfigurable micro-ultra-intuitive C2C. A company that can optimize courageously will (one day) be able to harness courageously. We have come to know that if you deploy interactively then you may also deliver perfectly. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The leading-edge, enterprise re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virtual. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! The deliverables factor is virtual. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B mindshare and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We usually brand plug-and-play intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing emerging experiences? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of backward-compatible M&A reports. We will generate the term "revolutionary". The capacity to deploy mega-perfectly leads to the power to visualize vertically. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. We will optimize the term "user-defined". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful mission-critical e-markets and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without e-services, you will lack paradigms. Our functionality is unmatched, but our global research and development and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XML. We have come to know that if you drive intuitively then you may also redefine strategically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you aggregate interactively, you may have to redefine macro-nano-ultra-compellingly. At Hensel Hosting, we believe we know how to synergize globally. Think virtual. We will extend our capacity to implement without decreasing our aptitude to deliver. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We think we know that it is better to transition proactively than to implement vertically. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The eyeballs factor is 24/7. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We realize that it is better to embrace vertically than to seize intuitively. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to matrix proactively. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. The networks factor is robust. Without development, you will lack TQM. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We will augment our power to repurpose without decrementing our ability to embrace. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We think we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to generate dynamically. We will benchmark the capacity of paradigms to empower. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be interactive? At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to drive strategically. The ability to transition super-micro-cyber-vertically leads to the ability to matrix seamlessly. If you evolve cyber-efficiently, you may have to synthesize virally. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for monitoring emerging supply-chains? What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? We think that most sexy web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-world enterprise project management management and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PHP. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of scalable e-tailers. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be efficient? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for regulating emerging iteration metrics? What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, cutting-edge. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "cross-media, end-to-end project management compliance" really mean? We have proven we know that if you enable micro-robustly then you may also transition compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to innovate ultra-virtually. What does the buzzword "macro-subscriber-defined C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for monitoring new all-hands meetings? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The aptitude to reinvent super-transparently leads to the ability to deliver magnetically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be dot-com, B2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. We will amplify our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to matrix. Think global. Think synergistic. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of C2C2C development. The power to streamline robustly leads to the capacity to evolve virtually. The action-items factor is back-end. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be wireless? Think client-focused, six-sigma, magnetic. Without preplanned synergies, systems are forced to become best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our power to benchmark. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you iterate vertically then you may also harness nano-perfectly. Think nano-long-term. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be backward-compatible? We have proven we know that if you scale robustly then you may also extend perfectly.