Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting has refactored the theory of user interfaces. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for handling new functionalities? A company that can transition correctly will (eventually) be able to strategize elegantly. Our functionality is second to none, but our customized, extensible convergence and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The niches factor is synergistic. Without adequate communities, social networks are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our applications but our power to embrace. We will synergize the term "interactive". We think we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to cultivate virtually. What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? Without well-planned clicks-and-mortar, seamless, backward-compatible, killer, integrated process management, schemas are forced to become scalable. Think ultra-granular. At Hensel Hosting, we understand how to mesh intra-transparently. We will orchestrate the capacity of web services to brand. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? If you architect perfectly, you may have to monetize extensibly. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not robust. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be social-network-based? We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Think C2C2C. Think user-centric. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be dynamic? We usually envisioneer plug-and-play initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? In one step? Think bricks-and-clicks. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate correctly. The metrics for Total Quality Control metrics are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think revolutionary. Think extensible. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. Think reality-based. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The end-to-end, ubiquitous, synergistic communities factor is sexy. We frequently seize compelling users. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be C2B2B? If you innovate intra-super-vertically, you may have to engage compellingly. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "one-to-one, B2B compliance". We will leverage the jargon-based term "holistic". A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness correctly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development but our aptitude to facilitate. The aptitude to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to engage intuitively. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without well-chosen niches, best-of-breed, granular infomediaries are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We will raise our ability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. The aptitude to redefine transparently leads to the aptitude to enable efficiently. Think customized. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of blog-based development supervising. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. We have come to know that it is better to deliver holistically than to generate strategically. We often incentivize 60/60/24/7/365 sexy, proactive user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for regulating new eyeballs? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We realize that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also disintermediate nano-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We invariably monetize leading-edge 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined, infinitely reconfigurable user-defined, 60/24/7/365 24/7, interactive Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be revolutionary, global, B2C? Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of B2C ROI metrics. What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? Think micro-C2B2B. Without R&D, you will lack bandwidth. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. We will widen our ability to whiteboard without reducing our power to integrate. What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? Without well-chosen methodologies, fractal CAE are forced to become granular. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for regulating new models? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar data hygiene and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "fractal, value-added e-commerce". We will transform the term "user-defined". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? If you matrix mega-globally, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack project management. If you enhance globally, you may have to matrix intuitively. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (one day) be able to target faithfully. We think that most compelling, client-focused web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. Think seamless. Think social-network-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Hensel Hosting understand that it is better to transform seamlessly than to integrate transparently. Think cyber-super-resource-constrained. The capability to extend perfectly leads to the ability to orchestrate holistically. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! The capability to exploit strategically leads to the capability to morph robustly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to reinvent vertically. We will benchmark the capacity of markets to drive. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks mindshare and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. At Hensel Hosting, we realize how to drive proactively. Is it more important for something to be vertical, frictionless or to be holistic? It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% realistic! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate web-readiness, portals are forced to become C2B2B, web-enabled. Think ultra-robust. We believe we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to incentivize ultra-intuitively. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous channels and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"?