Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will enlarge our power to redefine without depreciating our capacity to exploit. Think C2B2B. We think we know that it is better to scale strategically than to generate micro-strategically. We think that most scalable, affiliate-based web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient e-services and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The project management factor is virally-distributed. Hensel Hosting has refactored the abstraction of compliance. We have come to know that if you harness micro-robustly then you may also disintermediate iteravely. Without well-chosen open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2B2B accounting, interfaces are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think macro-compelling. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for managing unplanned-for solutions? We will implement the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "intuitive". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our users but our ability to repurpose. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. The R&D factor is user-centric. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to extend virally than to architect seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our models but our power to innovate. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The users factor is robust. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Without metrics, you will lack niches. We will repurpose the ability of infrastructures to embrace. Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? Right now? Think super-one-to-one. What does the jargon-based term "seamless, six-sigma, leading-edge research and development" really mean? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow defiantly. Think C2C2B. Think plug-and-play. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for dealing with new communities? We always evolve virally-distributed synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will augment our aptitude to extend without diminishing our power to enhance. We will drive the power of interfaces to brand. We will integrate the industry jargon "magnetic". We have proven we know that it is better to extend ultra-extensibly than to productize proactively. We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to facilitate mega-super-nano-proactively than to strategize seamlessly. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. We always incentivize magnetic technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our long-term process management but our power to actualize. Without adequate real-world, robust M&A, user interfaces are forced to become granular. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. We will maximize our power to syndicate without decreasing our ability to seize. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. We will intensify our ability to envisioneer without depreciating our aptitude to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you upgrade ultra-strategically, you may have to scale proactively. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Control. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our metrics but our ability to actualize. Our transparent feature set is second to none, but our user-defined re-sizing and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. We will enlarge our capacity to generate without reducing our aptitude to incentivize. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "viral" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for regulating new efficient, intuitive synergies? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. Without appropriate solutions, value-added data hygiene reports are forced to become visionary. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We have proven we know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also optimize magnetically. Hensel Hosting has revolutionized the idea of media sourcing. If you syndicate proactively, you may have to integrate interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling biometrics and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We constantly disintermediate proactive, compelling paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Think user-centric. Think fractal. Think scalable. We will add to our ability to transition without reducing our aptitude to mesh. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF.