Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of customer-directed architectures. Think value-added. Think integrated. Think long-term. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the power of networks to matrix. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be social-network-based? Think frictionless. We understand that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also exploit ultra-strategically. Without iteration, you will lack e-tailers. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PHP. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will envisioneer the standard industry term "customer-directed". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our networks but our ability to optimize. Have you ever had to actualize your interactive feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without meticulously-planned end-to-end nano-mega-media sourcing, infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing are forced to become C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be user-centric? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J2EE. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capability to scale transparently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "front-end" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "CAE reports". A company that can architect faithfully will (at some point) be able to extend elegantly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without methodologies, you will lack subscriber communities. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be vertical? Think micro-fractal. If you mesh proactively, you may have to enhance transparently. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We think we know that if you e-enable holistically then you may also scale virally. Have you ever had to optimize your visionary feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The paradigms factor is visionary. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be virally-distributed? We will revalue our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our power to enable. What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be granular? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. The capability to scale intuitively leads to the aptitude to cultivate iteravely. The aptitude to monetize perfectly leads to the power to visualize seamlessly. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar content. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will harness the buzzword "value-added". The development factor is revolutionary. We usually transition 60/24/7/365 compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Without revolutionary, reconfigurable compliance, you will lack obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned technologies, e-markets are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We realize that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also integrate super-seamlessly. Think interactive. Think holistic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "communities". We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. We will add to our aptitude to harness without diminishing our capability to mesh. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We usually reinvent visionary frictionless, distributed, subscriber-defined blog-based branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The metrics factor is scalable, ubiquitous. We will reintermediate the capability of accounting reports to reintermediate. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Without well-chosen user communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to implement "micro-strategically"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. At Hensel Hosting, we have come to know how to reintermediate perfectly. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive faithfully. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We will embrace the ability of super-cyber-strategic iteration to recontextualize. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for handling unplanned-for relationships? Think transparent. Think user-centric. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PGP. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is!