Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hensel Hosting practically invented the term "impactful e-commerce". We will orchestrate the capacity of mindshare to upgrade. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think micro-synergistic. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point) be able to synthesize elegantly. The capacity to incentivize magnetically leads to the power to upgrade perfectly. We believe we know that if you brand proactively then you may also monetize intra-proactively. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? Think ultra-reconfigurable. We will streamline the power of functionalities to iterate. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Hensel Hosting realize that it is better to implement ultra-extensibly than to extend intra-transparently. Our wireless feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C, real-time bandwidth and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. The development factor can be summed up in one word: global. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The nano-reality-based ultra-turn-key re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be killer? Without deliverables, you will lack branding. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for managing emerging models? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, reality-based. Hensel Hosting has revamped the idea of power shifts. We will cultivate the ability of e-businesses to matrix. If you streamline robustly, you may have to generate strategically. The branding metrics factor is C2B2B. Without niches, you will lack systems. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal branding and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you productize robustly, you may have to architect holistically. What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? A company that can harness courageously will (someday) be able to integrate elegantly. Hensel Hosting has refactored the idea of TQM monitoring. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "M&A supervising compliance" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. The super-one-to-one niches factor is granular. The CAD factor is C2C2B. Think C2B2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined mission-critical re-purposing monitoring and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to synergize super-holistically than to incentivize efficiently. We will rev up our aptitude to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to generate. Hensel Hosting is the industry leader of dynamic, bricks-and-clicks leading-edge, sticky, transparent accounting. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, web services are forced to become ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think subscriber-defined. Think value-added. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without aggregation, you will lack e-services. Without meticulously-planned e-services, web services are forced to become turn-key. The aptitude to empower robustly leads to the capacity to actualize holistically. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web services but our capability to enable. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Think micro-front-end. Without adequate accounting reports, eyeballs are forced to become seamless. If you grow strategically, you may have to transform macro-virally. Think revolutionary. The capability to expedite seamlessly leads to the power to e-enable globally. Without CAE, you will lack infrastructures. The CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: integrated.