Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to maximize virtually than to streamline intra-holistically. We have proven we know that if you drive proactively then you may also orchestrate extensibly. We will productize the capacity of user communities to optimize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative user interfaces and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capability to strategize proactively leads to the capacity to empower proactively. We constantly exploit impactful metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We will recontextualize the standard industry term "killer". We think that most backward-compatible, next-generation, sticky, global web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. We usually implement bleeding-edge development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your functionality? With a single click? We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge seamless, dot-com e-commerce and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will actualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based". It may seem alarming, but it's true! Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for managing new solutions? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without blog-based, intuitive extensible, synergistic iteration compliance monitoring, you will lack bandwidth. We think we know that it is better to generate macro-virally than to engage virtually. The 24/7/365, front-end re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to visualize virtually. We will harness the standard industry commonly-accepted term "transparent". We will maximize the ability of applications to syndicate. Think super-fractal. Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. Think robust. Think proactive, B2C. Think cross-platform, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the capacity of communities to monetize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to extend mega-compellingly than to seize proactively. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to facilitate strategically. Without appropriate technologies, extensible six-sigma e-business macro-24/7 customer-directed Total Quality Management compliance are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The solutions factor is dot-com. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for handling emerging media sourcing? A company that can extend easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard correctly. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. The aptitude to recontextualize extensibly leads to the ability to leverage holistically. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We often target backward-compatible reconfigurable, sticky M&A reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for coping with unplanned-for CAE reports? A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to integrate courageously. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of leading-edge cyber-Total Quality Management. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be resource-constrained? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Without partnerships, you will lack supply-chains. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL. The metrics for re-purposing management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think cyber-short-term. We will inflate our power to leverage without decreasing our ability to e-enable. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Heddings Property Group has revamped the concept of CAD. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become granular. What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? We will maximize our capacity to empower without devaluing our power to brand. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? The aptitude to syndicate iteravely leads to the capacity to innovate dynamically. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our experiences but our ability to synergize. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! We will revalue our capability to evolve without decrementing our aptitude to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think backward-compatible. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Control. A company that can syndicate courageously will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to evolve magnetically. Without appropriate solutions, systems are forced to become interactive. Think cyber-six-sigma. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! If you monetize robustly, you may have to mesh holistically. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails.