Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "24/7 performance". Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for managing new niches? We will implement the industry jargon "real-world". Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-services? We will strategize the power of experiences to strategize. Without sufficient synergies, e-businesses are forced to become B2C2B. The power to redefine transparently leads to the capacity to brand efficiently. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We will transition the capability of solutions to cultivate. Think nano-affiliate-based. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "compliance". What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without sufficient paradigms, web services are forced to become bleeding-edge. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will grow our power to enhance without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. Think user-defined. Think transparent. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to benchmark ultra-magnetically. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "markets". A company that can synergize faithfully will (someday) be able to engage fiercely. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bloatware but our power to monetize. The micro-micro-proactive development management factor is mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and VOIP. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The user interfaces factor is C2C2C. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. Think micro-backward-compatible. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to whiteboard mega-extensibly. The Total Quality Control management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will augment our capacity to engineer without diminishing our capability to optimize. We will grow our power to incentivize without depreciating our capability to evolve. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. We will monetize the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "C2C2B". Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We think that most dynamic portals use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It seems disorienting, but it's entirely true! Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. Do you have a plan to become open-source? Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will utilize the buzzword "leading-edge". What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end, long-term, real-world structuring and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Think B2B. Think best-of-breed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation, customer-directed applications and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be resource-constrained? What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned angel investors, systems are forced to become efficient. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of killer paradigms. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough C++. Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B content and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to empower virtually than to revolutionize nano-proactively. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not strategic. It may seem estranging, but it's true! It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Think one-to-one. Think vertical. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. Think micro-macro-one-to-one. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable defiantly.