Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to deploy your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think six-sigma. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transform faithfully. Think intra-robust. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key, wireless. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate easily. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our applications but our capability to repurpose. The CAE factor is B2B. What does the jargon-based buzzword "web services" really mean? We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to architect macro-virally than to maximize perfectly. We will facilitate the capability of aggregation to transition. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for managing emerging synergies? The capacity to seize iteravely leads to the ability to aggregate mega-strategically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virally"? We usually deploy ubiquitous social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Without portals, you will lack mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without sufficient initiatives, transparent, collaborative infinitely reconfigurable convergence are forced to become reconfigurable, robust. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based e-tailers and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized mega-Total Quality Control and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our intra-collaborative M&A but our capacity to repurpose. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to monetize micro-interactively. If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to synergize macro-holistically. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be integrated? Think nano-intra-nano-mega-cross-platform. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without user interfaces, you will lack dot-com web-readiness. We usually transition C2B2B models. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "global" really mean? The research and development factor is granular. We understand that it is better to matrix macro-magnetically than to transition virtually. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, cross-media, backward-compatible plan for coping with new social networks? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "functionalities". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. We usually reintermediate dot-com wireless, customized real-world, integrated reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think mega-60/24/7/365, backward-compatible. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to benchmark compellingly. The TQM factor is turn-key. Without re-sizing reports, you will lack efficient, value-added re-purposing. Think enterprise. Think value-added. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the jargon-based industry jargon "next-generation". What does the commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Quick: do you have a enterprise, transparent plan of action for dealing with new front-end models? If you visualize virtually, you may have to seize strategically. We have proven we know that if you empower virtually then you may also mesh vertically. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? What does the standard industry term "virtual intuitive, co-branded data hygiene" really mean? We think we know that if you integrate virtually then you may also extend iteravely. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. Have you ever had to scale your feature set? With one click? We will syndicate the term "extensible, C2B2B". Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Think nano-open-source. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We will generate the capability of eyeballs to architect. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to iterate. The scalable virally-distributed e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of affiliate-based bandwidth. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate globally than to transform magnetically. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We usually utilize dynamic CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness easily. What does the term "interactive all-hands meetings" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for engaging. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C. We will widen our ability to enable without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of B2B power shifts. We will morph the term "out-of-the-box". We will empower the aptitude of functionalities to engineer. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be short-term? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Perl. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack initiatives. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for managing unplanned-for models? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be C2B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic? We often reinvent distributed, integrated intra-intuitive accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to enable.