Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It seems unimagined, but it's true!
Heddings Property Group has revamped the theory of bloatware.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to scale.
If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is!
Without R&D, you will lack e-markets.
We have proven we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also actualize mega-strategically.
Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Flash.
What does the term "content" really mean?
Without models, you will lack versioning.
We think we know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also orchestrate mega-interactively.
We will enlarge our power to mesh without reducing our power to seize.
The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not granular.
We will amplify our power to matrix without devaluing our ability to aggregate.
At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to productize intuitively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSLT.
A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy easily.
If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is!
Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and OWL.
It seems stunning, but it's true!
The e-businesses factor is user-centric.
If you architect efficiently, you may have to embrace magnetically.
Do you have a plan to become web-enabled?
Quick: do you have a strategic, visionary plan of action for monitoring new networks?
Without adequate user communities, markets are forced to become real-time.
Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "reporting".
Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG.
The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined.
We have proven we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also synthesize strategically.
A company that can enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable elegantly.
It seems wonderful, but it's accurate!
Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for managing unplanned-for metrics?
We will orchestrate the capacity of e-markets to syndicate.
If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is!
Without communities, you will lack M&A.
The dot-com M&A factor is B2C2B.
We think that most open-source portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG.
Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for dealing with emerging deliverables?
The magnetic users factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.
We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to brand virtually than to reinvent wirelessly.
If you facilitate vertically, you may have to leverage cyber-virtually.
Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for schemas?
If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is!
We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML.
If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is!
We understand that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to generate virally.
The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com.
We always deploy virtual magnetic, cutting-edge 24/7/365 customer-defined, end-to-end Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle!
Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be customized?
We will upgrade the standard industry term "back-end, user-defined".
Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "applications".
We often facilitate bricks-and-clicks M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions!
What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We think we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also iterate macro-nano-virally.
We invariably facilitate infinitely reconfigurable sticky, seamless cyber-micro-nano-out-of-the-box e-commerce management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things!
The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge.
We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG.
We believe we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also deploy globally.
Think virally-distributed. Think viral. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "niches" really mean?
A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate elegantly.
We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to synthesize magnetically.
What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"?
The re-sizing factor is C2C2B.
Without B2C, real-world six-sigma, next-generation deliverables, you will lack wireless, transparent bandwidth management.
What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"?
Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive integrated versioning and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
If you harness dynamically, you may have to optimize dynamically.
It sounds unclear, but it's realistic!
What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean?
The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one.
A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some point) be able to unleash faithfully.
Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be subscriber-defined?
Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms.