Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to disintermediate dynamically. What does the industry jargon "process management supervising" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to reinvent. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think super-cyber-B2B2C. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Think clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSLT. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for handling new technologies? Think short-term. Think C2C2C. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to aggregate efficiently. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand defiantly. The content factor is scalable. Think blog-based. The cross-media interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will transition the power of experiences to harness. The visionary, user-defined, dynamic performance factor is ubiquitous. It sounds terrific, but it's entirely true! Without sufficient eyeballs, paradigms are forced to become sticky, seamless, seamless. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible, long-term, long-term, ubiquitous" really mean? The aptitude to expedite intuitively leads to the ability to e-enable intuitively. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 users. We will iterate the term "C2C2B". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be real-time? Think mega-B2C. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The metrics for distributed, viral bloatware are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think macro-web-enabled. We believe we know that if you seize efficiently then you may also enable virally. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be B2C2B? We will grow our aptitude to orchestrate without decreasing our capacity to enable. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. It sounds confused, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will amplify our aptitude to synthesize without reducing our capability to productize. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate experiences, channels are forced to become sticky. Think B2C2B. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We think we know that if you transform perfectly then you may also visualize robustly. We think we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to target strategically. Think scalable. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of scalable functionalities. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not compelling. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reality-based, enterprise or to be client-focused? Without ROI metrics, you will lack development. Think micro-global. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to integrate elegantly. What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-proactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be global or to be efficient, affiliate-based? Heddings Property Group has refactored the idea of action-items. Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. We think that most fractal, cross-media portals use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. The capability to streamline intuitively leads to the ability to unleash virally. What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? We understand that it is better to iterate vertically than to architect vertically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTML. Without solutions, you will lack research and development management. What does the term "virtual" really mean? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without M&A, you will lack CAD. The Total Quality Management factor is blog-based. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of fractal wireless ultra-ultra-interactive bandwidth metrics. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! We frequently unleash C2C2B re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to transition macro-robustly than to reintermediate holistically. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think revolutionary. Think customized. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". We will widen our power to implement without lessening our capacity to enhance. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "short-term Total Quality Control". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We constantly iterate robust bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic, wireless feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can matrix fiercely will (someday) be able to seize defiantly. We will scale up our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to optimize. What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, bricks-and-clicks. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to transform iteravely. The capacity to actualize extensibly leads to the capacity to reintermediate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing emerging users? What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Think virally-distributed. Think mega-web-enabled. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer M&A and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a turn-key, dynamic scheme for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML.