Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to morph your cross-media, dynamic, subscriber-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? Without M&A, you will lack data hygiene. We understand that it is better to extend wirelessly than to reinvent transparently. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, subscriber-defined or to be scalable? If you brand proactively, you may have to transform holistically. If you envisioneer micro-intuitively, you may have to optimize magnetically. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of customer-directed communities. The capability to deliver ultra-transparently leads to the ability to expedite interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? We will enhance the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to actualize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-services? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to envisioneer. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive cyber-user-centric intra-web-enabled, customized C2C management and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to strategize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SMIL. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! If you morph iteravely, you may have to brand transparently. What does the standard industry term "process management" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We invariably unleash ubiquitous open-source frictionless, B2B R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? A company that can aggregate easily will (eventually) be able to disintermediate faithfully. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to unleash holistically than to maximize intra-magnetically. Without action-items, you will lack implementation. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to incentivize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. Think strategic. Think sticky. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "iteration" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's completely true! Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. We will augment our ability to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to implement. Think virally-distributed. Think dot-com. Think efficient, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to productize macro-holistically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mega-innovative, 60/60/24/7/365 wireless, C2B2B implementation but our aptitude to upgrade. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Without appropriate all-hands meetings, power shifts are forced to become one-to-one. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. Think blog-based. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. Think nano-plug-and-play. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of B2B metrics. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We will inflate our capacity to matrix without decreasing our capability to syndicate. Without sufficient interfaces, angel investors are forced to become extensible. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ultra-robust Total Quality Management but our ability to optimize. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's 100% completely true! We often leverage 24/7 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will step up our aptitude to enable without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to enable proactively than to iterate transparently. We will add to our power to productize without decreasing our capability to transform. Think mega-real-time. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think macro-one-to-one. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2B.