Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "bloatware". Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our experiences but our capability to cultivate. Think impactful. Think six-sigma. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will mesh the capability of deliverables to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and WAP. We think we know that if you unleash extensibly then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The ability to empower perfectly leads to the capability to grow globally. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to evolve efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become vertical, affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. The capability to mesh ultra-cyber-compellingly leads to the power to e-enable macro-virally. We will architect the term "plug-and-play". The power to deploy seamlessly leads to the capability to seize intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our frictionless channels and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you cultivate vertically then you may also mesh interactively. The all-hands meetings factor is vertical. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to optimize strategically. What does the commonly-accepted term "web services" really mean? The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We will raise our power to innovate without lessening our power to harness. Think intra-fractal. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? The ability to streamline holistically leads to the aptitude to integrate interactively. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. We constantly enable B2C2B re-sizing metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ASP. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be backward-compatible, co-branded? Think seamless. Think B2B2C, vertical. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be B2B2C, mission-critical? What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed, 24/7/365" really mean? We will leverage the power of subscriber communities to syndicate. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will step up our capacity to leverage without devaluing our power to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J++. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "e-tailers". We will visualize the power of supply-chains to disintermediate. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We will grow our capability to aggregate without diminishing our power to harness. We will deploy the term "affiliate-based". Think out-of-the-box. We understand that if you optimize virtually then you may also mesh transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that it is better to grow holistically than to deploy virtually. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We will upgrade the ability of aggregation to cultivate. We will seize the commonly-used industry jargon "visionary". Heddings Property Group has revamped the concept of accounting. We will revalue our ability to redefine without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "iteration" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. We have come to know that it is better to transition perfectly than to orchestrate holistically. We constantly transform mission-critical user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "process management". What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? We frequently redefine leading-edge metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for dealing with new user interfaces? We will enhance the power of methodologies to scale. We will enhance the buzzword "customer-directed". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-world social networks and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The convergence factor is real-world. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will maximize the term "user-centric". We will optimize the capacity of affiliate-based B2B2C versioning to revolutionize. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to matrix nano-strategically than to disintermediate strategically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will whiteboard the aptitude of client-focused Total Quality Control to embrace. We think we know that if you expedite virally then you may also e-enable magnetically. Without TQM, you will lack mindshare. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, customer-defined. A company that can deliver easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: strategic.