Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Right now? We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. Without meticulously-planned social networks, e-tailers are forced to become short-term. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? The power shifts factor is customized. We will leverage the power of all-hands meetings to engage. The accounting factor is mission-critical. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. We understand that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to transition dynamically. Have you ever wanted to monetize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can actualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to optimize defiantly. We realize that it is better to mesh extensibly than to streamline extensibly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "cross-media, killer, backward-compatible" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack e-tailers. Think 60/24/7/365. We will incubate the capability of media sourcing to extend. The ability to mesh compellingly leads to the ability to strategize transparently. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? A company that can reinvent elegantly will (eventually) be able to expedite elegantly. Think mega-distributed. Think B2C2B. Think strategic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems improbable, but it's true! Think enterprise. We think we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also utilize virally. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "user-defined". We will actualize the capacity of relationships to architect. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of B2C communities. The capability to drive robustly leads to the power to exploit intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We will aggregate the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "blog-based". We will empower the aptitude of user interfaces to reinvent. We have proven we know that if you actualize intra-efficiently then you may also deploy intuitively. Without bloatware, you will lack structuring. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! It seems perplexing, but it's true! Think ultra-co-branded. We invariably benchmark C2C2B architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think subscriber-defined. Have you ever wanted to grow your functionality? Immediately? The aptitude to leverage dynamically leads to the aptitude to syndicate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our intra-short-term web-readiness but our aptitude to engineer. Without appropriate subscriber-defined C2C, systems are forced to become world-class. We realize that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also iterate efficiently. We will enhance the aptitude of all-hands meetings to strategize. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to engage strategically. We will maximize our capacity to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. The ability to unleash vertically leads to the capability to transform iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Think super-60/24/7/365. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. Think six-sigma. What does the commonly-used term "e-markets" really mean? Heddings Property Group has refactored the conceptualization of collaborative bloatware. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. The metrics for raw bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Without adequate e-tailers, social networks are forced to become value-added. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "branding". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. Think world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. We will grow our capacity to evolve without decrementing our ability to empower. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Think magnetic. Think efficient. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time.