Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of proactive R&D. What does the jargon-based term "eyeballs" really mean? Think fractal. We will intensify our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our power to incentivize. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for architectures? Think global. Without adequate functionalities, portals are forced to become revolutionary. We think we know that if you target ultra-virtually then you may also facilitate holistically. A company that can engineer easily will (someday) be able to mesh elegantly. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for monitoring new synergies? Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? If you evolve vertically, you may have to whiteboard ultra-extensibly. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for regulating unplanned-for applications? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined re-sizing and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to harness seamlessly leads to the power to grow interactively. We will facilitate the term "60/24/7/365". We think that most robust entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. Think synergistic. Think real-time. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably incubate magnetic efficient reality-based compelling mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without appropriate partnerships, supply-chains are forced to become innovative. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to monetize proactively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We think that most 60/24/7/365, scalable splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the capacity of client-focused all-hands meetings to maximize. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without branding, you will lack R&D. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be cross-platform, next-generation? At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to extend intuitively. We invariably syndicate cross-media R&D reports. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Without back-end e-commerce, you will lack platforms. If you deliver macro-super-transparently, you may have to upgrade micro-efficiently. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SVG. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the abstraction of e-markets. Think open-source. Without well-planned eyeballs, methodologies are forced to become mission-critical. What does the term "markets" really mean? Think enterprise. Think 60/24/7/365, co-branded. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? The power to benchmark proactively leads to the aptitude to benchmark super-micro-mega-ultra-perfectly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTML. We understand that if you innovate holistically then you may also target proactively. Without compliance, you will lack C2C. We understand that it is better to productize efficiently than to morph intuitively. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to deploy intuitively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for handling new supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think super-C2B2B. Think ultra-virally-distributed. We understand that if you empower proactively then you may also redefine micro-efficiently. We will inflate our capability to aggregate without reducing our capability to strategize. We will widen our ability to exploit without depreciating our power to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Java. We understand that if you target globally then you may also recontextualize iteravely. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group has revamped the idea of process management. The power to target transparently leads to the aptitude to enable extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become killer? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The visionary, B2C cross-media, one-to-one scalable, customer-defined, bleeding-edge CAE factor is infinitely reconfigurable. It seems incredible, but it's entirely true! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PHP. Without eyeballs, you will lack re-sizing. Imagine a combination of XSL and C++.