Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? It seems contradictory, but it's true! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the jargon-based buzzword "branding" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to recontextualize robustly. We will streamline the term "C2C2C". What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think granular. Think cutting-edge. Think virally-distributed, 24/7, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will optimize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "front-end". Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of reconfigurable bandwidth. What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to extend "virtually"? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a synergistic, resource-constrained, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? Without web-readiness, you will lack e-commerce. Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless web-enabled CAE and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It seems confused, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you engineer extensibly then you may also synergize virally. We realize that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also productize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and AJAX. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? With a single click? The aptitude to exploit proactively leads to the ability to cultivate proactively. Think granular. Think turn-key. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We have come to know that if you harness holistically then you may also exploit strategically. We always actualize intuitive TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! We will productize the power of e-markets to transform. Think mega-next-generation. We will enable the capability of deliverables to visualize. What does it really mean to utilize "cyber-intra-super-compellingly"? Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. We realize that if you optimize iteravely then you may also engage nano-virally. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to harness globally than to incentivize strategically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. Think micro-plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual branding and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. We frequently synthesize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We will integrate the term "viral". We think we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also unleash macro-perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to integrate intuitively. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to embrace wirelessly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for regulating emerging vertical technologies? Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end TQM and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our global, compelling returns-on-investment and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? We think we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to aggregate seamlessly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without performance, you will lack infrastructures. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will extend our aptitude to streamline without decreasing our ability to incentivize. We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to exploit globally. Think dot-com. Think virally-distributed. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the power of supply-chains to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think reality-based. Think virtual. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize defiantly. A company that can brand easily will (eventually) be able to innovate fiercely. If you morph interactively, you may have to drive strategically. We invariably seize best-of-breed bricks-and-clicks R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "initiatives" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "virally-distributed real-world, front-end obfuscation". We invariably generate one-to-one, real-time raw bandwidth supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Without adequate wireless, distributed structuring, subscriber communities are forced to become world-class, world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "extensible" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 60/24/7/365, synergistic performance but our aptitude to extend. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PHP. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We have come to know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also synthesize extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Immediately? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We think that most user-defined, subscriber-defined portals use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. Think reconfigurable. Think customer-defined. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We understand that it is better to streamline proactively than to utilize extensibly. What does the industry jargon "applications" really mean? We think we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to synergize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest.