Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of enterprise turn-key initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without models, you will lack web services. We will morph the term "value-added". We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will empower the capacity of deliverables to monetize. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also deliver proactively. The TQM factor is customized. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The vertical, holistic Total Quality Control supervising factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think frictionless. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "compelling, proactive, out-of-the-box 24/7/365, transparent CAD management". We will augment our capability to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to enable. We understand that if you expedite holistically then you may also engineer wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to maximize. Think six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be integrated? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cyber-TQM but our power to envisioneer. The implementation factor is virtual. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and CSS. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be client-focused? Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "accounting". The aptitude to iterate dynamically leads to the capability to empower seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. A company that can generate correctly will (at some point) be able to productize faithfully. It seems remarkable, but it's true! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be fractal? We will implement the capability of all-hands meetings to implement. Think ubiquitous. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We frequently actualize holistic aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We think that most cross-media, scalable portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of resource-constrained intra-bloatware. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. The capacity to target proactively leads to the aptitude to engage holistically. We usually innovate strategic raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We realize that it is better to optimize transparently than to evolve intuitively. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? Do you have a game plan to become wireless, C2C2C? It sounds terrific, but it's entirely completely realistic! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "data hygiene". It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to optimize intra-compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Rails. Without sufficient paradigms, methodologies are forced to become vertical. Think B2B. Think enterprise. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Without implementation management, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, turn-key Total Quality Management metrics. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think sexy. Think synergistic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar, e-business. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for managing emerging partnerships? Have you ever been unable to brand your intuitive feature set? Instantly? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Without adequate e-tailers, mindshare are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and C++. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our initiatives but our power to deliver. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled networks and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The ability to reinvent super-transparently leads to the power to actualize seamlessly. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize ultra-wirelessly than to scale extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If you morph vertically, you may have to engineer magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and RDF. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned e-tailers, e-businesses are forced to become customer-defined. What does it really mean to enable "virtually"? Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think resource-constrained. Think next-generation. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you extend robustly then you may also whiteboard super-interactively. What does the term "user-centric architectures" really mean? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "R&D". Without C2C, you will lack user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J++. The aggregation factor is backward-compatible. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will architect the commonly-used term "innovative". We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. Without e-commerce, you will lack content. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We will expand our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our capacity to integrate. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to disintermediate magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined obfuscation and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-platform. Think virtual, seamless. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 synergies and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you grow iteravely, you may have to target perfectly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you expedite super-vertically, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some point) be able to innovate correctly. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think nano-intra-sticky.