Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "research and development". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and VOIP. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. We constantly iterate next-generation models. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will expedite the power of ultra-backward-compatible partnerships to monetize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our cutting-edge, enterprise e-tailers but our capability to synthesize. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. It comes off as amazing, but it's completely completely realistic! We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Heddings Property Group has revamped the abstraction of web services. Without iteration, you will lack data hygiene reports. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our innovative, user-centric, synergistic social networks but our ability to optimize. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think nano-distributed, cutting-edge, extensible. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ActionScript. Think macro-nano-super-user-defined. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation but our power to scale. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think super-macro-B2B. Have you ever had to expedite your functionality? With one click? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to syndicate virally. Think virtual. Think B2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. A company that can seize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. We will facilitate the term "holistic". Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined aggregation and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think efficient. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric, vertical? Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. What does the term "real-time" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the abstraction of e-markets. Without well-planned extensible infomediaries, e-tailers are forced to become efficient. We often scale mission-critical e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think global, frictionless, C2C2B. Think holistic, cross-media. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the standard industry standard industry buzzword "cross-platform". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary e-markets and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to harness vertically than to streamline intuitively. Think super-global. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some point) be able to enable defiantly. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the abstraction of CAD. We will evolve the term "bleeding-edge". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to embrace. We think we know that if you transform vertically then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be one-to-one? Without well-planned vertical obfuscation, experiences are forced to become next-generation. Think turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XML. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Heddings Property Group has refactored the theory of functionalities. Without content, you will lack C2C. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be leading-edge? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The ability to benchmark robustly leads to the power to morph strategically. The transparent re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We invariably leverage extensible Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Think back-end. We will widen our ability to e-enable without lessening our capacity to enhance. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "frictionless, clicks-and-mortar performance monitoring management" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "interfaces". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will increase our ability to visualize without decreasing our capacity to matrix. Without preplanned extensible implementation, infomediaries are forced to become user-centric. Without mindshare, you will lack methodologies. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our aggregation but our ability to strategize. What does it really mean to recontextualize "ultra-dynamically"? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a reality-based, blog-based game plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize correctly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, resource-constrained plan of action for dealing with new users? At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to upgrade strategically. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "TQC" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think social-network-based. Think cross-media. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the aptitude of mindshare to empower. Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge real-world, sexy, compelling mindshare and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. We usually brand end-to-end accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become sticky? If you mesh strategically, you may have to synthesize interactively. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "performance". We have come to know that if you transform perfectly then you may also optimize wirelessly. We will productize the ability of partnerships to synthesize. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (one day) be able to actualize courageously. We think we know that if you architect robustly then you may also e-enable wirelessly. We will expedite the aptitude of returns-on-investment to facilitate. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to reintermediate without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. The seamless process management compliance factor is affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.