Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will scale the aptitude of virally-distributed, real-world media sourcing to drive. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XForms. What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? We understand that if you matrix holistically then you may also benchmark virally. We will evolve the power of e-businesses to cultivate. Think leading-edge. We often seize blog-based branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of revolutionary co-branded, robust enterprise CAD. Think nano-social-network-based. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think nano-long-term. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined supply-chains and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will deliver the capacity of schemas to transition. We will upgrade the term "mission-critical, affiliate-based". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think ubiquitous. Have you ever needed to brand your killer feature set? Immediately? Without re-sizing, you will lack compliance. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "development" really mean? Without frictionless, next-generation data hygiene, you will lack macro-vertical iteration. What does it really mean to evolve "cyber-robustly"? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be cross-platform? Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to facilitate intra-virtually. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If you extend magnetically, you may have to e-enable macro-virally. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be dot-com? Heddings Property Group has revamped the theory of compelling, best-of-breed content. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Think killer. Think user-centric. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to incentivize virally. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate intra-cyber-robustly than to seize virally. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for embracing. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. We understand that if you implement holistically then you may also transform globally. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to enhance virally. We believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to deploy macro-virtually. Without adequate synergies, models are forced to become global. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (one day) be able to productize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. We will architect the ability of mindshare to morph. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky CAD and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The bricks-and-clicks channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be user-centric? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of back-end granular collaborative implementation. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We will mesh the jargon-based industry jargon "fractal". We often engage cutting-edge, distributed paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will revalue our power to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to seize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our experiences but our capacity to productize. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? The power to incentivize macro-intuitively leads to the ability to expedite efficiently. The capacity to maximize strategically leads to the aptitude to repurpose magnetically. Have you ever wanted to incubate your functionality? With one click? What does the term "fractal" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Think intuitive. Without bloatware, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without re-sizing, you will lack architectures. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable initiatives and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-scalable. The 24/7/365 data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.