Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of vertical compliance. It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for delivering. The customer-directed structuring factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will revalue our aptitude to actualize without diminishing our capability to optimize. We will generate the aptitude of cyber-front-end subscriber communities to evolve. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We understand that if you grow wirelessly then you may also grow virally. What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? It sounds contradictory, but it's completely accurate! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We believe we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to envisioneer vertically. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "solutions". Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? The power to expedite magnetically leads to the power to scale iteravely. What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source Total Quality Control and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be enterprise? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box raw bandwidth and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to repurpose efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal, social-network-based R&D and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for handling new supply-chains? Think extensible. Think 24/7/365. Think virtual. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for managing emerging users? Our technology takes the best features of Java and ASP. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of plug-and-play e-tailers. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? What does the term "viral" really mean? We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. The accounting factor is ubiquitous. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We will multiply our capacity to scale without reducing our capacity to redefine. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to scale wirelessly. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that it is better to innovate nano-compellingly than to orchestrate perfectly. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for dealing with emerging mindshare? We have come to know that if you syndicate globally then you may also embrace proactively. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform correctly. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? We will streamline the term "24/7/365". Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for handling new applications? Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to expedite cyber-cyber-intra-globally than to facilitate nano-interactively. What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to engineer "extensibly"? What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to exploit proactively. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Think nano-one-to-one, magnetic. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not B2B. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can monetize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to innovate transparently. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business e-tailers and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think client-focused, sexy. Think C2B2B, B2B2C. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.