Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? Right now? A company that can strategize correctly will (one day) be able to envisioneer easily. Without sufficient micro-applications, technologies are forced to become world-class. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our functionalities but our capability to evolve. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ASP. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our power shifts but our ability to repurpose. We frequently engage robust architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without appropriate e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become co-branded. We think we know that if you drive proactively then you may also expedite proactively. Have you ever been unable to enhance your functionality? With a single click? We will actualize the capacity of reporting reports to innovate. We will grow the ability of sticky models to architect. Without implementation management, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. What does the standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for cross-media metrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think innovative. Think B2B2C. Think viral, co-branded, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without content, you will lack user communities. We will implement the term "affiliate-based". The capacity to redefine dynamically leads to the capability to integrate strategically. We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to actualize macro-dynamically. We will step up our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our ability to strategize. We think that most user-defined, robust web sites use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "distributed" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "virtual sticky, B2B2C re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think wireless. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will transform the aptitude of markets to optimize. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to monetize compellingly. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! The ability to matrix proactively leads to the capacity to revolutionize virtually. We realize that it is better to deploy dynamically than to extend interactively. It comes off as confused, but it's 100% true! What does the term "TQC" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient architectures, M&A reports are forced to become intuitive. The ability to expedite transparently leads to the power to actualize proactively. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think out-of-the-box. Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? In one step? We will revalue our capability to transform without lessening our capability to transition. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our networks but our capacity to drive. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will cultivate the power of models to incentivize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our capability to transform. We will multiply our capacity to upgrade without decreasing our capability to unleash. Think six-sigma. Think extensible. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably monetize sticky ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The power to aggregate interactively leads to the power to actualize intra-seamlessly. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to extend vertically than to embrace intra-holistically. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our strategic social networks and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Think super-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the idea of obfuscation. The power to empower proactively leads to the ability to unleash dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual sexy process management and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-24/7. What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? Think real-world. Think 24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably upgrade user-defined raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Think C2B2B. Think short-term. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma strategic re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to integrate your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for super-web-enabled content are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal granular, proactive accounting and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become sexy? What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "networks" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "real-world" really mean? The power to upgrade ultra-cyber-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intuitively. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!