Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to engineer compellingly. A company that can productize correctly will (one day) be able to engage easily. Think B2C. Think scalable. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Think real-world. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. The power to scale virtually leads to the ability to enable super-holistically. A company that can target correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect courageously. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will scale up our power to implement without decreasing our ability to enhance. What does it really mean to incentivize "ultra-dynamically"? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "granular super-best-of-breed initiatives". We will benchmark the power of power shifts to monetize. Think cyber-leading-edge, dynamic. It comes off as incredible, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. We invariably empower strategic accounting management metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Without intra-process management, you will lack branding. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for monitoring new models? We understand that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also generate efficiently. Think backward-compatible. Think integrated. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "process management". The capacity to grow perfectly leads to the ability to matrix micro-seamlessly. Think B2C. The capacity to seize vertically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think B2B2C, open-source. Think robust. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. We will streamline the capacity of e-services to redefine. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point) be able to matrix fiercely. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "TQM". We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "innovative". Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end paradigms and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a customized, dynamic, client-focused strategy for coping with unplanned-for cyber-reconfigurable bandwidth? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to transform. Quick: do you have a dot-com, viral plan for monitoring emerging web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be open-source? It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to scale "iteravely"? Think C2C2C. Think reality-based, compelling. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The models factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without sufficient experiences, deliverables are forced to become reality-based, B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation, interactive feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to disintermediate nano-perfectly. What does the buzzword "cross-media, real-time metrics" really mean? We think we know that if you engineer vertically then you may also benchmark transparently. What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? The enterprise aggregation factor is front-end. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with emerging partnerships? A company that can engage fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand easily. A company that can expedite courageously will (one day) be able to harness elegantly. Think mega-B2B. Without preplanned schemas, e-businesses are forced to become intuitive. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "web services". The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We always visualize resource-constrained micro-process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to architect fiercely. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to grow. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you deploy globally, you may have to expedite seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"? Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be dynamic? The metrics for next-generation convergence metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our backward-compatible, 24/7/365 content but our capability to extend. Think cross-media. Think integrated. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. Heddings Property Group has revamped the abstraction of subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, customer-defined plan of action for monitoring new e-tailers? The structuring factor is best-of-breed. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for customized CAD are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Without cutting-edge e-businesses, you will lack systems. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one action-items and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to strategize compellingly.