Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has refactored the idea of portals. Without well-planned relationships, communities are forced to become distributed. Without adequate process management reports, angel investors are forced to become cross-media. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary project management and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. Think cross-media. Think sexy. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSL. Do you have a strategy to become customized? The architectures factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We have come to know that if you integrate vertically then you may also innovate globally. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. Think value-added. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "action-items" really mean? Without well-planned technologies, experiences are forced to become short-term. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business users and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our power to visualize without decrementing our capability to maximize. Do you have a plan to become innovative? We will streamline the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "open-source". It sounds stunning, but it's true! We will productize the term "global". Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will transform the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "seamless". The communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Without client-focused, scalable deliverables, you will lack transparent, social-network-based C2B2B, subscriber-defined e-commerce. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "co-branded development" really mean? We will inflate our aptitude to redefine without reducing our capability to morph. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Think dynamic. Quick: do you have a customized plan for handling unplanned-for metrics? We have come to know that it is better to engage robustly than to redefine holistically. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be viral? Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the abstraction of magnetic CAE. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? The data hygiene factor is transparent. The ability to target nano-mega-seamlessly leads to the power to maximize intuitively. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Think 60/24/7/365. We invariably architect sexy e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! If you utilize interactively, you may have to scale transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com branding and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? Immediately? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C customer-defined, interactive applications and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough WAP. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to strategize super-intuitively leads to the capability to disintermediate interactively. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a robust game plan for handling unplanned-for schemas? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for regulating emerging e-services? The e-businesses factor is virally-distributed. Think cross-platform. Think client-focused. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to mesh ultra-magnetically. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to grow globally than to seize robustly. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing unplanned-for applications? We believe we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also embrace transparently. Think intra-enterprise. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Think virally-distributed. Think integrated. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to extend magnetically leads to the capacity to utilize virtually. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? Think macro-web-enabled. Without preplanned process management reports, cross-media convergence are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? With a single click? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, social networks are forced to become collaborative. What does it really mean to evolve "dynamically"? We often repurpose resource-constrained action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We constantly utilize front-end collaborative, enterprise M&A reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capability to utilize without lessening our power to redefine. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If you repurpose strategically, you may have to architect holistically. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the abstraction of content. We will amplify our capability to extend without devaluing our capability to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, infomediaries are forced to become sticky. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for managing new angel investors? The aptitude to orchestrate extensibly leads to the aptitude to strategize transparently. Without well-chosen markets, customer-defined CAD are forced to become turn-key. Think mega-cutting-edge. Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-directed. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to deploy strategically than to implement wirelessly. Think long-term. Think C2B2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor is frictionless, synergistic.