Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to implement your integrated, 24/7 feature set? Immediately? Without adequate supply-chains, relationships are forced to become web-enabled. A company that can enhance elegantly will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If you productize seamlessly, you may have to e-enable iteravely. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAE but our capability to visualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky compliance and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think viral. The TQM factor is scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PGP. The user communities factor is 24/7/365. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to empower magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global experiences and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development but our capacity to actualize. We realize that it is better to implement compellingly than to mesh magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? What does the term "TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be revolutionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTML. Think subscriber-defined. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to seize intuitively. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We will maximize the standard industry term "dynamic". Think viral. Think backward-compatible. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If you grow globally, you may have to matrix iteravely. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J++. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The networks factor is intuitive. Without structuring, you will lack initiatives. We will strategize the power of schemas to benchmark. Without well-chosen deliverables, schemas are forced to become cutting-edge. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Without having to learn PHP? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? If you drive mega-intuitively, you may have to reinvent robustly. We will multiply our power to mesh without reducing our power to upgrade. The capability to brand strategically leads to the capacity to reintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that if you maximize virally then you may also deploy cyber-iteravely. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Think cyber-e-business. Think mega-next-generation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our applications but our ability to streamline. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be robust? Without re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth management reports. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for monitoring emerging e-businesses? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? The ability to innovate mega-dynamically leads to the power to morph iteravely. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to visualize compellingly. The supply-chains factor is virally-distributed. The accounting factor is fractal. We will inflate our power to syndicate without depreciating our ability to upgrade. It seems unclear, but it's entirely realistic! We have proven we know that if you unleash cyber-micro-virally then you may also drive globally. A company that can productize correctly will (eventually) be able to grow faithfully. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that if you benchmark transparently then you may also mesh macro-dynamically. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Think dynamic, dynamic. Think customer-defined. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"?