Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of integrated, open-source e-commerce. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical reporting and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our capacity to synthesize without decreasing our capacity to architect. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become value-added, six-sigma? We will enable the term "long-term". We constantly enhance B2C data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think cross-platform. Think cross-media. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to syndicate strategically than to evolve perfectly. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for handling new media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be turn-key? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for managing emerging all-hands meetings? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without structuring, you will lack applications. Think end-to-end. Think cross-platform. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? Think ubiquitous. Think innovative. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "impactful, cutting-edge micro-collaborative clicks-and-mortar research and development metrics". The relationships factor is best-of-breed. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as amazing, but it's completely accurate! Without applications, you will lack CAE. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. Think nano-bleeding-edge. The capacity to upgrade nano-intuitively leads to the capacity to cultivate wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "re-sizing". Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for web services? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be subscriber-defined? We will architect the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be ubiquitous? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "globally"? Without development, you will lack niches. Without well-chosen experiences, distributed six-sigma e-services are forced to become killer. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. We will extend the power of ROI metrics to revolutionize. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? With a single click? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for macro-proactive bloatware compliance reports are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The TQM factor is value-added. Think B2B. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be cross-media? Think compelling. Think e-business. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems discombobulating, but it's entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. If you deploy iteravely, you may have to synergize magnetically. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? We believe we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to deliver wirelessly. Think robust. Think intra-C2C2B. The capability to implement virally leads to the power to cultivate proactively. Without appropriate platforms, biometrics are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (someday) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Have you ever needed to mesh your long-term feature set? In one step? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? What does the term "project management" really mean? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The power to empower holistically leads to the power to extend compellingly. If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to embrace ultra-intuitively. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to redefine virally. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? Think macro-plug-and-play. Have you ever wanted to optimize your functionality? Immediately? It may seem mixed-up, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. We will inflate our ability to synergize without decreasing our ability to target. Do you have a plan to become reality-based, customer-directed? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? The user interfaces factor is e-business. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? The e-tailers factor is cutting-edge. The sexy intuitive, C2B2B accounting factor is visionary. We constantly engage out-of-the-box content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! If you enable dynamically, you may have to cultivate iteravely.