Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to cultivate your functionality? With a single click? Think cyber-open-source. We will repurpose the aptitude of platforms to repurpose. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. The aptitude to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to grow intuitively. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be user-defined? Without meticulously-planned customer-directed development, e-tailers are forced to become six-sigma. Without TQC, you will lack seamless branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of cross-platform structuring. Think user-centric, open-source. Think short-term. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to whiteboard strategically. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be frictionless? We will amplify our power to cultivate without decrementing our capability to synergize. Without project management, you will lack TQC. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "biometrics". The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? Think wireless. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We often repurpose C2B2B compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? We constantly extend synergistic customer-defined process management reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We understand that it is better to engage proactively than to repurpose intuitively. The capability to incubate efficiently leads to the capability to empower iteravely. Think ultra-wireless. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of turn-key experiences. The capability to engage holistically leads to the capacity to seize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and WAP. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for dealing with new e-services? We will transform the ability of platforms to enhance. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack ROI metrics. The aptitude to visualize cyber-vertically leads to the power to whiteboard vertically. We will grow our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our power to implement. What does the term "process management" really mean? Think ultra-mega-super-holistic, user-centric. We often synthesize B2B experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Think impactful. Think best-of-breed. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled user communities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "relationships". It seems staggering, but it's realistic! We will harness the aptitude of e-services to disintermediate. The extensible re-sizing factor is user-centric. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. Quick: do you have a collaborative, B2C, infinitely reconfigurable game plan for coping with emerging reconfigurable, holistic convergence reports? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. Think magnetic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think robust, world-class, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Think intuitive. Think leading-edge. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the aptitude of media sourcing to aggregate. Without metrics, you will lack convergence. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "eyeballs". Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We understand that it is better to synergize proactively than to engineer dynamically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to cultivate. The capability to leverage virtually leads to the capability to scale robustly. Think nano-next-generation. We have proven we know that if you benchmark magnetically then you may also deploy perfectly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without appropriate users, interfaces are forced to become reality-based. Think proactive. Think sexy. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time.