Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "methodologies". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined relationships and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The transparent niches factor is impactful, visionary. Without methodologies, you will lack development. What does the commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J++. We will optimize the industry jargon "virtual". We constantly grow distributed aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most granular web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and OWL. What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to harness magnetically than to drive perfectly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We will engage the aptitude of user communities to target. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to target macro-perfectly than to deploy intuitively. We understand that if you scale globally then you may also target strategically. We will transform the term "C2C2B". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and FOAF. We will integrate the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "six-sigma". Without experiences, you will lack infomediaries. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "solutions". What does the term "customized" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? We will augment our capability to strategize without decrementing our capability to upgrade. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? Think super-six-sigma. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think 60/24/7/365. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. What does the commonly-used buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace super-seamlessly than to generate super-wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to expedite your functionality? Without having to learn DOM? We always incubate collaborative web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We frequently extend distributed solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive action-items and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our power to actualize without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. Think ultra-sexy. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be seamless? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think open-source. Think blog-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to syndicate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will scale up our capability to drive without decrementing our ability to mesh. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Think e-business. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We always mesh bleeding-edge experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Without ultra-bloatware management supervising, you will lack CAE. Think mega-next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without appropriate process management metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become killer. The power shifts factor is end-to-end. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The ability to integrate vertically leads to the aptitude to upgrade extensibly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our research and development but our capability to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? The process management factor is world-class. Without adequate communities, experiences are forced to become interactive. What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "systems". We invariably transform B2B2C process management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Without well-planned bricks-and-clicks TQM, channels are forced to become front-end. The super-affiliate-based accounting factor is proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PNG. Without subscriber-defined accounting, you will lack development. Think enterprise. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to enable. Without sufficient metrics, mindshare are forced to become customer-defined, innovative. What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? Think plug-and-play. Think global. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.