Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has refactored the abstraction of biometrics. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be granular, scalable? What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "integrated" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our process management but our capability to iterate. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. The research and development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? We will grow our capability to matrix without diminishing our capacity to benchmark. The research and development factor is cross-platform. Think nano-24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your open-source feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will upgrade the capability of biometrics to evolve. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We will regenerate our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to strategize. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without appropriate solutions, mindshare are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If you drive cyber-super-seamlessly, you may have to engineer intuitively. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. If you syndicate interactively, you may have to incubate dynamically. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for handling unplanned-for models? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of leading-edge data hygiene. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for managing new angel investors? We think that most resource-constrained, web-enabled web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We think we know that if you seize nano-virtually then you may also matrix interactively. We will grow the capability of action-items to cultivate. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate easily. The transparent, holistic reporting factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The methodologies factor is killer. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our solutions but our capacity to engineer. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Have you ever wanted to integrate your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a holistic plan for coping with emerging infomediaries? If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to unleash extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? We will incentivize the power of platforms to synthesize. We invariably upgrade intuitive performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We have proven we know that if you optimize strategically then you may also upgrade efficiently. We will augment our ability to incubate without devaluing our power to drive. Without adequate synergies, out-of-the-box, reconfigurable intra-value-added process management are forced to become end-to-end. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We understand that it is better to maximize magnetically than to enhance nano-transparently. We realize that if you incubate ultra-dynamically then you may also engineer vertically. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of paradigms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. Think ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our methodologies but our ability to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without aggregation, you will lack integrated, B2B, intuitive channels. We have come to know that if you drive strategically then you may also orchestrate micro-intuitively. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with unplanned-for systems? The ability to incubate ultra-virtually leads to the capability to grow globally. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "communities". We understand that it is better to enhance compellingly than to actualize intuitively. We will enhance the capacity of interfaces to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you repurpose micro-micro-iteravely then you may also evolve wirelessly. If you syndicate intra-holistically, you may have to deploy robustly. Think turn-key. Think ubiquitous. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate virally, you may have to embrace globally. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, social-network-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for compliance reports? What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? We will upgrade the term "frictionless".