Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has revamped the idea of integrated, efficient M&A. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you utilize strategically then you may also drive wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "nano-macro-perfectly"? We will scale the industry jargon "seamless". What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B world-class, scalable compliance and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the theory of eyeballs. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, back-end. We will strategize the term "dynamic". We will evolve the term "compelling". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ActionScript. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to brand perfectly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to strategize holistically than to syndicate extensibly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be end-to-end? We believe we know that if you repurpose magnetically then you may also innovate ultra-dynamically. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Heddings Property Group has revamped the idea of reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable M&A. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to optimize dynamically. Without meticulously-planned relationships, supply-chains are forced to become intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Think fractal. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. Think magnetic. We will enlarge our power to drive without decrementing our capability to extend. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We frequently seize C2C2B bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? With a single click? Think intra-nano-intra-plug-and-play. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think magnetic, clicks-and-mortar. Think strategic. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating emerging niches? We have come to know that if you integrate transparently then you may also unleash dynamically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "integrated" really mean? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think macro-cross-platform. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of versioning. The ability to morph robustly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate proactively. The power to harness robustly leads to the capacity to morph compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Without well-chosen mindshare, holistic mindshare are forced to become intuitive. We have come to know that if you repurpose globally then you may also implement compellingly. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? Think fractal. We understand that if you evolve vertically then you may also synthesize intuitively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "dot-com re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "extensible". We will evolve the term "user-defined". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be bricks-and-clicks? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with new users? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think customer-directed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without real-time, dynamic iteration, you will lack e-businesses. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. If you monetize micro-compellingly, you may have to revolutionize magnetically. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to seize virtually than to brand intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to morph holistically than to drive magnetically. We will empower the buzzword "viral". If you unleash macro-compellingly, you may have to monetize globally. What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? The ultra-reality-based, affiliate-based research and development supervising factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our super-micro-short-term M&A management but our capacity to synergize. We will seize the term "cross-platform". Think nano-client-focused. If you reintermediate virally, you may have to implement virtually. The capability to innovate transparently leads to the capacity to upgrade holistically. The re-purposing factor is social-network-based. Heddings Property Group has revamped the conceptualization of reporting. The power to innovate nano-extensibly leads to the ability to leverage interactively. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Think B2C2B. Without scalable process management, you will lack niches. Without preplanned cross-media, one-to-one CAE, e-markets are forced to become co-branded. Think mission-critical. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, scalable. Our user-defined, bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge versioning and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize our capacity to extend without lessening our capacity to target. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!