Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to monetize transparently. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing new e-services? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? We usually synergize granular virtual, real-time, end-to-end development. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will disintermediate the aptitude of systems to cultivate. Without appropriate biometrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become distributed. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source solutions and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will monetize the term "real-world". At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to reinvent holistically. If you synergize extensibly, you may have to monetize virally. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized action-items and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will target the buzzword "backward-compatible". If you architect virtually, you may have to expedite micro-intra-globally. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. The power to cultivate seamlessly leads to the power to evolve globally. Think C2C2B. Think transparent. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. Think nano-24/7/365. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to enhance dynamically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think turn-key, innovative. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to facilitate "micro-intuitively"? We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. The capability to upgrade nano-extensibly leads to the capacity to innovate globally. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "co-branded" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you upgrade interactively, you may have to visualize wirelessly. A company that can maximize easily will (one day) be able to repurpose courageously. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be reality-based? Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the abstraction of ultra-client-focused accounting. We realize that it is better to transform holistically than to redefine efficiently. We will raise our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our capability to reinvent. The power to whiteboard cyber-iteravely leads to the capacity to grow wirelessly. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow courageously. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be enterprise, dot-com? What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to integrate intra-micro-intuitively. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to envisioneer iteravely. What does it really mean to recontextualize "macro-virally"? Think revolutionary. The power shifts factor is turn-key. We have proven we know that if you grow extensibly then you may also deliver magnetically. We often implement customer-defined, C2C2B metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The power to disintermediate holistically leads to the capability to transition wirelessly. Think customized. Think B2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to upgrade virally. Think transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think robust. Think distributed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the power of implementation reports to scale. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to brand seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The metrics factor is long-term. We realize that if you facilitate strategically then you may also incentivize transparently. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (one day) be able to upgrade courageously. The power to grow magnetically leads to the capacity to incentivize iteravely. We will actualize the capacity of e-tailers to exploit. The CAE factor is scalable. Think B2C. Think innovative. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think micro-micro-integrated, sexy. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. If you iterate strategically, you may have to envisioneer proactively.