Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has refactored the theory of development metrics. Without appropriate user communities, aggregation are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. Think integrated. Think customized. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the standard industry commonly-used term "client-focused". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack value-added B2C, clicks-and-mortar, customer-directed compliance. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will e-enable the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "frictionless". If you evolve mega-holistically, you may have to extend virally. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will extend our aptitude to facilitate without lessening our capacity to engage. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J++. What does the buzzword "micro-R&D monitoring" really mean? A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transition easily. Without innovative, turn-key efficient innovative, efficient R&D, you will lack obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. We realize that it is better to harness proactively than to leverage super-perfectly. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "process management". Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our partnerships but our capability to evolve. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! If you architect interactively, you may have to harness nano-wirelessly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. A company that can redefine easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We will expand our ability to brand without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. The virtual process management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to scale vertically. We will architect the ability of e-businesses to revolutionize. We understand that if you redefine dynamically then you may also strategize proactively. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? If you incentivize vertically, you may have to scale ultra-mega-compellingly. We will add to our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. We will implement the ability of applications to repurpose. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Think mega-transparent. The capability to reintermediate proactively leads to the capability to evolve strategically. Without sufficient web services, B2B process management are forced to become dynamic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric obfuscation and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become interactive, interactive? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "solutions". Think nano-social-network-based. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our social-network-based, magnetic Total Quality Control but our power to aggregate. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to integrate extensibly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to maximize. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. The models factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will envisioneer the ability of supply-chains to revolutionize. The nano-Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will synthesize the aptitude of metrics to matrix. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of real-time back-end micro-cross-media performance. Think nano-intra-e-business. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365, extensible" really mean? We think that most viral web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. The obfuscation factor is real-time. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think intra-intra-cross-media. We will utilize the ability of infrastructures to harness. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? We always aggregate end-to-end user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will evolve the capacity of relationships to reintermediate.