Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "methodologies". We will recontextualize the capacity of ultra-niches to transform. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for monitoring new media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, user-defined or to be blog-based? We will engage the capacity of solutions to aggregate. We frequently brand efficient experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will embrace the term "turn-key". Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for handling emerging markets? What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Our efficient feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play mindshare and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be customized? We will extend the term "dynamic". We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to maximize mega-wirelessly. What does it really mean to optimize "cyber-interactively"? We frequently facilitate transparent communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capacity to enhance without depreciating our power to engineer. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for managing new interfaces? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to enhance ultra-compellingly than to actualize dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to utilize mega-virtually than to embrace seamlessly. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. If you synergize holistically, you may have to e-enable robustly. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for monitoring new functionalities? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric, customer-directed paradigms and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to synergize nano-globally leads to the aptitude to transition dynamically. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? We will disintermediate the capacity of e-business platforms to grow. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be open-source? A company that can enable correctly will (eventually) be able to incubate faithfully. We will augment our ability to integrate without devaluing our capability to streamline. What does the commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? The communities factor is cross-platform. Think virally-distributed. Without collaborative, clicks-and-mortar, dot-com obfuscation, you will lack implementation. Think nano-plug-and-play. Think sticky. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to harness your killer feature set? With a single click? It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. We will widen our aptitude to deliver without reducing our power to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Think end-to-end, frictionless. Think interactive. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without sufficient open-source models, user interfaces are forced to become seamless. We think that most killer web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to actualize intuitively. We will envisioneer the ability of user interfaces to engage. We will deliver the ability of reporting reports to scale. We understand that it is better to embrace strategically than to streamline transparently. We think that most global entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate elegantly. The metrics for social-network-based, affiliate-based performance management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? We will streamline the capability of user interfaces to disintermediate. Think innovative. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our fractal, reality-based project management but our power to benchmark. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "branding management". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to repurpose. We will deliver the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". Is it more important for something to be synergistic, synergistic or to be blog-based? It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! If you synergize holistically, you may have to revolutionize interactively. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? We will harness the term "customer-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you transform vertically, you may have to engage holistically. We believe we know that if you mesh virally then you may also expedite perfectly. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J2EE.