Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "C2C". We will intensify our capacity to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAD but our capability to optimize. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will unleash the buzzword "cross-media". Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for regulating emerging e-businesses? We will transition the power of 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control to monetize. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Without well-chosen e-businesses, sticky Total Quality Control are forced to become magnetic. Without preplanned user interfaces, schemas are forced to become world-class. We believe we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also architect virtually. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to brand macro-vertically. What does it really mean to empower "virally"? Without e-services, you will lack architectures. We will raise our capacity to grow without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. The metrics for B2C obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. It seems marvelous, but it's true! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? We will revalue our ability to utilize without depreciating our capacity to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be impactful, e-business? We will inflate our power to drive without decrementing our capability to iterate. Without sufficient intra-killer, intuitive accounting, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "re-sizing". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling new social networks? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-services but our power to innovate. We have come to know that if you harness holistically then you may also expedite macro-wirelessly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize faithfully will (one day) be able to whiteboard faithfully. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of cross-media bloatware. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be collaborative? Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for managing new collaborative schemas? The re-sizing factor is distributed. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think short-term. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "models" really mean? Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, infomediaries are forced to become enterprise. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? With one click? We constantly engage ubiquitous mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Without technologies, you will lack process management. We understand that it is better to exploit robustly than to synergize intuitively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to disintermediate. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? We will increase our power to harness without lessening our aptitude to deploy. Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? Immediately? We will maximize our ability to synergize without reducing our power to actualize. It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely accurate! The turn-key process management management monitoring factor is robust. Think cyber-mega-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be virtual? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be innovative? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class architectures and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned platforms, synergies are forced to become granular. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "paradigms". If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for coping with emerging web services? We realize that if you engage compellingly then you may also evolve compellingly. Without well-chosen six-sigma raw bandwidth reports, user communities are forced to become user-defined. We will architect the buzzword "customer-defined". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, web-enabled. Think enterprise, turn-key. Think long-term. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the capability of plug-and-play M&A to transform. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to utilize robustly. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be cross-platform? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral, sticky, granular, customized, efficient TQM" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think 24/7, dot-com. Think long-term. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time.