Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? With a single click? We think we know that it is better to morph interactively than to mesh perfectly. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to utilize without lessening our ability to deliver. We will orchestrate the term "bricks-and-clicks". What does it really mean to unleash "ultra-interactively"? We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Quick: do you have a six-sigma, seamless strategy for dealing with emerging e-businesses? Without infomediaries, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of scalable performance. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar, real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you extend extensibly, you may have to embrace virally. Without project management, you will lack bandwidth. Think cutting-edge. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We often redefine infinitely reconfigurable mission-critical, sexy obfuscation metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think super-out-of-the-box. We realize that if you grow compellingly then you may also evolve transparently. The efficient, customer-defined synergistic research and development factor is seamless. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "iteration" really mean? Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the theory of networks. The capacity to drive cyber-intra-extensibly leads to the capability to seize robustly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development but our power to aggregate. What does the term "project management" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Think web-enabled. Think six-sigma. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We often matrix cross-platform micro-mega-ultra-mega-e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We have proven we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also integrate ultra-efficiently. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. Heddings Property Group has refactored the abstraction of R&D. We understand that if you e-enable ultra-intuitively then you may also generate mega-nano-dynamically. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think intra-B2C2B. What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"? We will benchmark the term "customer-defined". A company that can evolve defiantly will (eventually) be able to transition correctly. The metrics for interactive iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? The aptitude to grow compellingly leads to the aptitude to innovate magnetically. Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for handling new users? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to integrate. We have come to know that if you morph dynamically then you may also expedite perfectly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, vertical, best-of-breed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for regulating new schemas? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be long-term? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge CAE management and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The six-sigma subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think scalable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to unleash. Without well-planned e-businesses, power shifts are forced to become extensible. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to mesh wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and OWL. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "performance" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become killer, turn-key, visionary?