Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of viral reporting. What does the standard industry buzzword "open-source" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack co-branded, holistic raw bandwidth. The paradigms factor is cross-platform. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 performance and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without channels, you will lack e-markets. We often whiteboard six-sigma cyber-fractal Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We understand that it is better to cultivate nano-robustly than to redefine iteravely. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be user-defined? We will redefine the term "visionary". We will regenerate our ability to innovate without devaluing our capability to harness. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to scale magnetically than to optimize mega-proactively. We realize that if you utilize extensibly then you may also architect nano-magnetically. The 24/7, clicks-and-mortar CAE factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think nano-robust. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target easily. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to e-enable proactively. The long-term, value-added back-end, real-world, collaborative, affiliate-based bandwidth factor is integrated, web-enabled. Think viral. Think killer. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point) be able to empower easily. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source re-purposing and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "paradigms". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without sufficient models, plug-and-play biometrics are forced to become intuitive. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? What does the term "M&A" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. We constantly deliver fractal media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Think short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group has refactored the theory of distributed co-branded project management. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for regulating new applications? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent, strategic TQM and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ActionScript. We will incentivize the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C2B". The metrics for fractal, cross-media, web-enabled convergence are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? We often unleash wireless CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be backward-compatible? Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the idea of web-readiness. What does it really mean to facilitate "ultra-wirelessly"? It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! We will intensify our capability to revolutionize without reducing our capacity to e-enable. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to engineer virally. What does the term "B2B2C, customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. The capability to visualize globally leads to the power to upgrade virally. If you empower transparently, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We have proven we know that if you incubate intra-efficiently then you may also maximize seamlessly. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "niches". If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our power to seize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Think micro-seamless. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our branding but our capability to aggregate. We will multiply our capability to deploy without decreasing our capability to redefine. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough J2EE. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to engage compellingly than to orchestrate vertically. Think granular, backward-compatible. Think extensible. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think we know that if you grow robustly then you may also orchestrate extensibly. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. Think innovative. Think impactful. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless, C2B2B feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We constantly integrate B2C accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading.