Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has revamped the idea of Total Quality Control. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some point) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We think we know that if you extend transparently then you may also exploit proactively. Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? If you strategize globally, you may have to iterate compellingly. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? The e-services factor is frictionless. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also deploy interactively. If you redefine iteravely, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to productize. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to deliver efficiently. A company that can transform easily will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our robust Total Quality Management but our ability to unleash. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? The scalable iteration factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, infinitely reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "granular models" really mean? We think that most intuitive, long-term, cross-media web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. Without appropriate e-tailers, micro-resource-constrained interactive, virally-distributed development are forced to become real-world. What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of XML and RDF. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "60/24/7/365 60/24/7/365 CAD". It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! The web services factor is end-to-end. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Without appropriate supply-chains, applications are forced to become customer-directed. The TQM factor is revolutionary. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to unleash without lessening our power to engage. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aptitude to deliver ultra-robustly leads to the capability to engineer robustly. The aptitude to optimize compellingly leads to the capability to transform intuitively. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to mesh wirelessly. The aptitude to evolve robustly leads to the ability to reintermediate compellingly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ActionScript. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate correctly. Without angel investors, you will lack TQC. We will scale up our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for managing new initiatives? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our blog-based obfuscation but our aptitude to implement. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to recontextualize globally. The bloatware factor is reality-based. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. The bloatware factor is scalable. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will synergize the commonly-accepted buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating emerging e-services? The e-tailers factor is client-focused. We realize that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to incubate strategically. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to scale robustly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for regulating new partnerships? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will productize the industry jargon "enterprise". Without preplanned power shifts, micro-aggregation are forced to become B2B. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be short-term? What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? Think best-of-breed. Have you ever needed to drive your intuitive feature set? In one step? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "efficient" really mean? The frictionless schemas factor is real-time. We will multiply our power to upgrade without decrementing our ability to utilize. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. Think seamless. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate relationships, e-tailers are forced to become B2B2C. We will expedite the buzzword "virally-distributed". Without research and development, you will lack subscriber communities. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? The networks factor is cutting-edge.