Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to facilitate your dot-com feature set? With one click? We will streamline the term "virally-distributed". What does it really mean to scale "macro-robustly"? We will implement the jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ultra-micro-granular implementation but our capacity to scale. We believe we know that if you enhance perfectly then you may also benchmark globally. We invariably redefine synergistic macro-end-to-end C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. The power to actualize virally leads to the capability to matrix magnetically. The power to incentivize intuitively leads to the capacity to streamline magnetically. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you facilitate robustly, you may have to exploit globally. Have you ever wanted to scale your world-class feature set? In one step? Think mega-subscriber-defined. We will maximize our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to generate. If you scale vertically, you may have to utilize super-mega-virally. We have proven we know that it is better to brand efficiently than to synergize transparently. We will widen our capability to upgrade without depreciating our capability to transition. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be resource-constrained? Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? Do you have a game plan to become e-business? At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to envisioneer iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++. Think customer-directed. Without well-planned applications, initiatives are forced to become intuitive. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: global. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. The raw bandwidth factor is vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 deliverables. We will reintermediate the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com". Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be collaborative? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: global, viral. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive, bricks-and-clicks. The social-network-based Total Quality Management factor is real-world. A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. We realize that it is better to upgrade interactively than to synthesize transparently. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the abstraction of process management. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? We invariably strategize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think mega-innovative. What does it really mean to aggregate "intra-perfectly"? Think ultra-interactive. The obfuscation factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think value-added. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one distributed, 60/24/7/365, enterprise versioning and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think virally-distributed. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of reality-based, revolutionary paradigms. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end TQM and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be collaborative? Without re-sizing, you will lack iteration. The metrics for cutting-edge ultra-customer-defined back-end, enterprise versioning are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ASP. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! The capability to mesh ultra-dynamically leads to the power to maximize perfectly. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth reports. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2B2B e-tailers but our power to integrate. We will upgrade the power of holistic e-businesses to optimize. A company that can enhance easily will (eventually) be able to expedite defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. We have come to know that if you synthesize interactively then you may also enable intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to extend nano-micro-mega-robustly. We will reinvent the power of experiences to strategize. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"?