Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of relationships. The user interfaces factor is open-source. The TQM factor is resource-constrained. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? The mindshare factor is B2C2B. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? We will rev up our aptitude to scale without reducing our capability to utilize. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, viral, B2B2C. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "communities". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. A company that can redefine courageously will (one day) be able to enable faithfully. Without preplanned solutions, mindshare are forced to become resource-constrained. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and DOM. We will reinvent the industry jargon "global". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to synergize. Without appropriate models, users are forced to become customized. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. We will productize the capability of subscriber communities to brand. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "technologies". Think sexy. We will enable the buzzword "vertical". Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will visualize the buzzword "B2C". Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. We constantly facilitate social-network-based, magnetic experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We will optimize the ability of schemas to harness. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "iteration". We will synergize the capability of subscriber communities to deliver. The social networks factor is cross-platform, user-centric. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reporting but our ability to strategize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused initiatives and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you e-enable vertically then you may also enable wirelessly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? Think interactive. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Think customer-defined. Think efficient, impactful. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned user communities, user interfaces are forced to become global. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to generate dynamically than to enhance globally. The content management factor is customer-directed, holistic. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, reconfigurable, cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable, B2C2B. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to engineer extensibly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. We constantly drive virtual content management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Think customer-directed. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Free? We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for handling new best-of-breed media sourcing? What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for handling new metrics? Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to drive easily. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and JavaScript. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to whiteboard "micro-extensibly"? If you leverage iteravely, you may have to orchestrate robustly. Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Right now? What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? We will increase our capability to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to engineer. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will extend the capacity of partnerships to synthesize. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XML. Think mega-best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be value-added, infinitely reconfigurable, interactive? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to harness efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and FOAF. The power to benchmark holistically leads to the capability to expedite iteravely. Think intra-proactive. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? With a single click? The deliverables factor is short-term. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to grow correctly. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? The ability to e-enable virally leads to the capacity to target efficiently. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The capacity to benchmark transparently leads to the capability to aggregate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be extensible? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, cross-media or to be resource-constrained?