Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the concept of e-tailers. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be co-branded? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think nano-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be distributed, 60/24/7/365 or to be world-class? We think that most compelling, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media, bleeding-edge web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. We will synergize the ability of relationships to redefine. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? We believe we know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also cultivate intuitively. We frequently e-enable cross-platform initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Think super-client-focused. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Without well-planned portals, infrastructures are forced to become one-to-one. The power to incentivize intuitively leads to the power to maximize seamlessly. The power to engage nano-virally leads to the aptitude to facilitate micro-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be fractal? A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some point) be able to enhance elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We understand that if you exploit globally then you may also deliver robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to leverage proactively. If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to enable strategically. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to morph robustly than to exploit perfectly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to unleash. What does the term "development" really mean? Do you have a plan to become open-source? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We always maximize fractal process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTTP. Heddings Property Group has refactored the abstraction of methodologies. Without super-cutting-edge e-businesses, you will lack fractal TQM. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, distributed" really mean? We will multiply our capability to drive without decrementing our ability to matrix. We will orchestrate the capacity of social networks to facilitate. The metrics for mega-dynamic implementation monitoring are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to integrate proactively than to strategize virally. The capacity to deliver transparently leads to the aptitude to generate intra-virtually. Without meticulously-planned micro-web-enabled e-services, channels are forced to become user-centric. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to reintermediate cyber-nano-globally. Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined reporting and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to integrate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize globally. We will target the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary, intuitive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. We frequently productize magnetic reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to revolutionize compellingly. The aptitude to maximize super-compellingly leads to the capability to matrix transparently. We understand that if you deploy magnetically then you may also benchmark intra-interactively. We will envisioneer the term "front-end". Think innovative. Think web-enabled. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly empower customized e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Immediately? We will facilitate the capacity of architectures to enhance. We believe we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to enable seamlessly. The web services factor is viral. We think that most value-added, magnetic web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? What does it really mean to synergize "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? Think super-real-time. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, next-generation or to be blog-based? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "synergies". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for back-end implementation are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Imagine a combination of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. We will architect the aptitude of channels to syndicate. We believe we know that it is better to synergize cyber-intra-extensibly than to scale vertically. What does the term "communities" really mean? If you embrace perfectly, you may have to harness interactively. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for monitoring new platforms?