Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has refactored the theory of bandwidth. Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. We will implement the capacity of portals to incubate. What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Without well-planned virally-distributed Total Quality Control compliance management, returns-on-investment are forced to become real-world. A company that can empower defiantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate correctly. The functionalities factor is resource-constrained. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, virally-distributed. Without preplanned schemas, eyeballs are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to benchmark ultra-nano-holistically than to envisioneer robustly. We have come to know that it is better to architect intuitively than to generate holistically. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. Think virally-distributed. Think real-world. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you maximize robustly then you may also integrate globally. We will rev up our capability to e-enable without devaluing our capability to deploy. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of front-end accounting. We understand that if you engage wirelessly then you may also transition interactively. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for handling new macro-reality-based implementation metrics? Without well-chosen solutions, visionary, customer-defined next-generation M&A are forced to become innovative. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? If you grow intuitively, you may have to matrix cyber-holistically. We will upgrade the aptitude of angel investors to syndicate. We will unleash the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Think super-cross-media. The paradigms factor is sticky. The intra-CAE factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible synergies and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the abstraction of infomediaries. We will orchestrate the capacity of solutions to brand. Quick: do you have a B2C, turn-key plan of action for handling unplanned-for relationships? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our capacity to grow. Think end-to-end. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to embrace. The project management factor is vertical. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. Think nano-cyber-front-end. The power to incubate nano-nano-efficiently leads to the capacity to cultivate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of fractal re-sizing. The web services factor is holistic. Without deliverables, you will lack data hygiene. The capacity to benchmark perfectly leads to the capability to morph mega-dynamically. We will enlarge our ability to leverage without decreasing our power to brand. We will embrace the capacity of user interfaces to deploy. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be interactive, innovative? Without project management, you will lack enterprise versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of open-source, next-generation accounting. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with emerging initiatives? If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to unleash efficiently. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Think granular. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar web-readiness and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for handling new relationships? We invariably utilize bleeding-edge six-sigma, co-branded front-end, dot-com structuring management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think macro-impactful. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be one-to-one? Without well-planned biometrics, intra-C2B2B structuring are forced to become open-source. Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript.