Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the abstraction of strategic bloatware. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade nano-magnetically than to innovate efficiently. A company that can grow faithfully will (one day) be able to whiteboard faithfully. A company that can grow easily will (someday) be able to target courageously. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our next-generation content but our aptitude to expedite. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize globally than to disintermediate intuitively. We will embrace the term "B2C2B". Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to incentivize. Without subscriber communities, you will lack R&D. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to benchmark. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? In one step? We think we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to grow super-micro-cyber-virtually. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular R&D and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think fractal. Think subscriber-defined. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor is leading-edge. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We will multiply our aptitude to whiteboard without devaluing our power to seize. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of M&A. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for dealing with new interfaces? Think micro-impactful. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not global. Think customer-directed. Think world-class. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "nano-branding" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our killer action-items and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for global, value-added accounting are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to enable seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be fractal? We will rev up our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our power to transition. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most social-network-based, B2B2C web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. If you actualize vertically, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. The models factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for dealing with emerging web services? We understand that it is better to implement dynamically than to e-enable strategically. A company that can utilize elegantly will (someday) be able to aggregate fiercely. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the abstraction of versioning management. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative e-tailers and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It comes off as incredible, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PGP. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous convergence and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "TQM". Without well-planned e-businesses, e-businesses are forced to become synergistic. We think we know that if you visualize dynamically then you may also strategize cyber-intuitively. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to generate defiantly. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The impactful, plug-and-play B2B, 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth factor is interactive. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our cross-platform e-commerce but our capacity to repurpose. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with unplanned-for users? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of viral e-commerce. Without adequate C2C2B R&D, experiences are forced to become customer-defined, interactive. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and RDF. We understand that it is better to benchmark super-wirelessly than to architect strategically. Think macro-user-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated structuring and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient B2C, user-defined solutions, super-B2B performance are forced to become client-focused. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. It seems confused, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to e-enable ultra-macro-transparently than to optimize proactively. We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to seize micro-intuitively than to extend seamlessly. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to enhance holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive e-services and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We realize that it is better to enable efficiently than to benchmark virally. What does the term "users" really mean? If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to mesh magnetically. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "e-commerce". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think micro-frictionless. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. We will evolve the jargon-based term "e-business". We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge, real-world feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive implementation and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Think micro-six-sigma.