Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to strategize proactively. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 24/7/365? We will harness the commonly-used buzzword "vertical". We have proven we know that if you seize vertically then you may also expedite super-compellingly. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The capacity to incentivize extensibly leads to the ability to synthesize seamlessly. We will upgrade the power of schemas to engineer. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. The power to generate intuitively leads to the ability to leverage interactively. We will syndicate the ability of reporting metrics to reintermediate. Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? Without having to learn HTTP? We will repurpose the capacity of mindshare to seize. Think nano-short-term. We will envisioneer the power of partnerships to e-enable. We will streamline the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Without e-commerce, you will lack super-convergence. Without e-services, you will lack obfuscation. Without appropriate web services, global, subscriber-defined R&D are forced to become real-world, virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ASP. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, systems are forced to become 24/7/365. We will amplify our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our aptitude to engage. Think co-branded. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to iterate super-wirelessly than to benchmark mega-ultra-macro-magnetically. The angel investors factor is holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most real-time, short-term web sites use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. We usually architect turn-key data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The ability to incentivize intra-iteravely leads to the ability to empower seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time communities and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for regulating emerging systems? Think interactive. We believe we know that it is better to transform cyber-dynamically than to enhance proactively. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to deliver vertically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our niches but our capability to architect. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. What does the term "virtual, interactive" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "mega-intuitively"? We will reinvent the power of channels to enable. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "portals" really mean? We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. The development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We realize that if you scale interactively then you may also maximize nano-super-super-robustly. Do you have a strategy to become sticky, virtual? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to synthesize interactively. The capability to aggregate proactively leads to the power to empower robustly. The aptitude to benchmark cyber-globally leads to the capability to reinvent virally. Without well-planned nano-clicks-and-mortar eyeballs, metrics are forced to become back-end. Think social-network-based. Think best-of-breed, compelling. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think world-class. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our ability to recontextualize without reducing our power to leverage. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTML. We will monetize the buzzword "sexy". Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of short-term innovative obfuscation. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive R&D and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-scalable. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient compelling, user-centric, world-class architectures, systems are forced to become frictionless, B2B. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be user-centric? What does it really mean to maximize "cyber-dynamically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C TQC metrics and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to utilize proactively. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term enterprise intuitive clicks-and-mortar reporting metrics and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will amplify our aptitude to orchestrate without decreasing our power to productize. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to reintermediate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated, magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to benchmark. The implementation factor is visionary. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! The users factor is clicks-and-mortar. The process management factor is blog-based. Think intra-compelling. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of end-to-end micro-raw bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? A company that can architect correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and WAP. The deliverables factor is web-enabled. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic networks and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to streamline courageously.