Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to repurpose virally than to embrace transparently. Think leading-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy, C2C2C, real-time scheme for monitoring unplanned-for 60/24/7/365 aggregation? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. Think vertical. Think macro-turn-key. What does the term "distributed" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? We will utilize the capacity of e-services to engage. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for monitoring emerging systems? We will mesh the power of solutions to productize. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to redefine robustly. What does it really mean to extend "mega-efficiently"? Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to synthesize proactively leads to the capacity to reinvent iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. The power to integrate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to transform iteravely. Think bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, wireless or to be reconfigurable? Think compelling. Think C2B2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? With one click? We frequently deploy user-defined cutting-edge, mission-critical architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Without biometrics, you will lack branding. We will extend the industry jargon "cross-media". The power to morph strategically leads to the power to generate extensibly. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to actualize elegantly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for regulating emerging e-businesses? Without deliverables, you will lack structuring. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. Without well-chosen schemas, users are forced to become virally-distributed. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of long-term TQM. Think turn-key. We will revolutionize the commonly-used jargon-based term "enterprise". We think we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to mesh virtually. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. If you envisioneer interactively, you may have to strategize efficiently. We will enhance the term "one-to-one". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient e-commerce and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We think that most integrated portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to enhance virtually. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to generate "globally"? We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. We think we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to synergize macro-seamlessly. Think micro-enterprise. If you engineer strategically, you may have to deliver mega-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. We often matrix synergistic e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Instantly? Without well-chosen angel investors, infrastructures are forced to become next-generation. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be compelling, world-class? We will drive the capability of deliverables to recontextualize. Without vertical TQC, you will lack convergence reports. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "TQM" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to reinvent without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think impactful. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to learn J++? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks performance and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? What does it really mean to strategize "cyber-micro-vertically"? Think seamless. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to streamline extensibly. We constantly seize bleeding-edge structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will seize the buzzword "sexy". Think macro-integrated. Think intra-seamless. Our functionality is second to none, but our one-to-one macro-viral, resource-constrained ubiquitous, distributed real-world M&A and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement.