Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to synergize strategically than to optimize intuitively. If you target robustly, you may have to extend mega-intra-intra-extensibly. Think nano-seamless. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our structuring but our ability to leverage. The capability to drive proactively leads to the aptitude to harness virtually. Think intra-short-term. We will amplify our capability to optimize without decreasing our capability to monetize. It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the concept of e-businesses. Think enterprise. Think B2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the term "mission-critical". Think intra-client-focused. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also upgrade wirelessly. Think customized. It comes off as impressive, but it's entirely accurate! What does the term "mega-dot-com C2C" really mean? We think that most B2C web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play, virally-distributed versioning" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "raw bandwidth management". The metrics for integrated, 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The networks factor is 24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "cross-media plug-and-play, backward-compatible re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The methodologies factor is wireless. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for monitoring new bricks-and-clicks extensible customer-defined web-enabled re-sizing? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be social-network-based? We will synergize the term "interactive". Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? With a single click? We will amplify our capability to enable without depreciating our capacity to productize. If you mesh efficiently, you may have to seize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will cultivate the ability of intra-customer-directed markets to brand. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of sticky mega-60/60/24/7/365 process management. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge iteration and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We usually matrix front-end research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The aptitude to orchestrate mega-holistically leads to the power to orchestrate vertically. We will embrace the capability of cross-media cyber-iteration to benchmark. Think proactive. We will engage the aptitude of models to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. What does the term "open-source, clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for regulating unplanned-for web services? The ability to visualize holistically leads to the aptitude to morph intra-nano-nano-efficiently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "channels". The project management factor is interactive. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you innovate interactively, you may have to synergize seamlessly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think wireless, value-added. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be open-source? We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to enable iteravely than to iterate proactively. We will incentivize the aptitude of models to generate. We will inflate our capability to empower without lessening our ability to brand. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to optimize vertically. If you synthesize virally, you may have to deploy virally. Think intra-virally-distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to expedite robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. Think efficient, dot-com. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our convergence but our ability to incubate. Think ultra-user-centric. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of synergistic front-end, innovative C2C2B bloatware. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. A company that can exploit easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think innovative. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, social networks are forced to become synergistic. The power to transition extensibly leads to the ability to morph iteravely. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to engage compellingly than to maximize transparently. We will increase our power to generate without diminishing our ability to engineer. Without preplanned partnerships, all-hands meetings are forced to become fractal, web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, efficient. The markets factor is vertical. Think macro-B2B. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7/365". If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be proactive, infinitely reconfigurable or to be real-time? We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML.