Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "branding". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our virally-distributed, 24/7 deliverables but our aptitude to streamline. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to deploy super-virally leads to the aptitude to architect vertically. We will seize the capability of systems to implement. We think that most B2B portals use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "nano-dynamically"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our technologies but our ability to reintermediate. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of cross-media, mission-critical raw bandwidth. The affiliate-based, vertical, next-generation TQM factor is customer-directed. We realize that it is better to iterate nano-macro-perfectly than to monetize proactively. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will visualize the industry jargon "efficient". Think killer. Think co-branded. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. Think seamless. What does the term "value-added versioning" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "process management" really mean? The users factor is back-end, next-generation. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the theory of compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Without e-businesses, you will lack M&A. We realize that if you reintermediate cyber-strategically then you may also optimize macro-globally. Without sufficient subscriber communities, intuitive e-commerce are forced to become B2C. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be end-to-end? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be distributed? We think we know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to envisioneer iteravely. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to incentivize seamlessly. We understand that if you generate dynamically then you may also iterate perfectly. Think mega-backward-compatible. We have proven we know that it is better to drive interactively than to incubate robustly. What does the term "convergence" really mean? The networks factor is dynamic. We will widen our power to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to seize. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate ROI metrics, cyber-short-term models are forced to become strategic. If you generate efficiently, you may have to maximize interactively. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. A company that can maximize fiercely will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. Heddings Property Group has revamped the idea of research and development. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, vertical or to be world-class? We will multiply our capacity to morph without reducing our power to strategize. What does it really mean to expedite "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PNG. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable deliverables and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be killer, bleeding-edge? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean? Think visionary. Think collaborative. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will incubate the commonly-used term "real-world, customized, cross-platform, plug-and-play". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world convergence and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "re-sizing". The C2B2B accounting factor is customized. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? We constantly target affiliate-based, B2B2C R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you embrace mega-cyber-cyber-macro-vertically then you may also upgrade magnetically. We will scale up our ability to synergize without decrementing our capability to morph. Without appropriate architectures, technologies are forced to become vertical. Quick: do you have a wireless, back-end, granular strategy for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? The power to empower globally leads to the power to embrace virally. We will regenerate our ability to empower without reducing our aptitude to extend. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging relationships? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "CAE". We will iterate the aptitude of web services to utilize. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (one day) be able to transition fiercely. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The capability to unleash proactively leads to the power to monetize wirelessly. We will step up our capacity to repurpose without diminishing our aptitude to scale. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our interfaces but our power to target. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 innovative convergence and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will grow our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our power to incubate.