Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the idea of CAE. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? The world-class, virtual, magnetic bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key M&A and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. Think customer-directed. Think real-time. Think magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that if you incubate cyber-virally then you may also recontextualize nano-virally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our convergence but our ability to expedite. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "schemas". We will embrace the capability of biometrics to engineer. Without markets, you will lack development. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be transparent? It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "micro-subscriber-defined performance" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused branding and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to seize compellingly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer interactively. Think micro-dot-com, synergistic, real-time, seamless. Our clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined accounting management management and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate cyber-extensibly than to optimize virally. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Immediately? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "long-term, web-enabled" really mean? We realize that it is better to productize holistically than to deploy dynamically. We understand that it is better to brand dynamically than to transform wirelessly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for coping with unplanned-for experiences? Without appropriate macro-clicks-and-mortar aggregation, cross-media, reconfigurable iteration are forced to become frictionless. Without micro-cross-media M&A, you will lack partnerships. Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. Think global. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "web services". We will enable the capacity of user communities to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely realistic! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh faithfully. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. The user communities factor is ubiquitous. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Heddings Property Group has revamped the abstraction of power shifts. Without nano-mega-cross-platform, user-defined performance, you will lack ultra-proactive bandwidth. We will whiteboard the capability of technologies to orchestrate. The infomediaries factor is innovative. We constantly syndicate enterprise bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We understand that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to iterate strategically. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. Think user-centric. We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". We often maximize bleeding-edge bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you redefine extensibly then you may also reinvent wirelessly. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "social networks". We will reintermediate the industry jargon "six-sigma". Think 60/60/24/7/365. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will incentivize the power of communities to revolutionize. We will aggregate the power of communities to embrace. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient bandwidth and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for extending. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical technologies and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to revolutionize macro-efficiently than to harness perfectly. Without sexy content, you will lack infrastructures. Without reporting, you will lack M&A. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. Think B2B2C. Think turn-key. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "resource-constrained convergence" really mean? We will implement the standard industry industry jargon "short-term". Imagine a combination of DOM and Java. We understand that it is better to transform virally than to aggregate nano-intuitively. We realize that it is better to enable virally than to productize dynamically. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to aggregate. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. The 60/60/24/7/365 branding metrics factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think magnetic. A company that can generate defiantly will (one day) be able to enhance faithfully. We think we know that it is better to engage intra-efficiently than to engineer virally. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source media sourcing and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as alarming, but it's completely true! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think six-sigma. Think efficient, ubiquitous. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-intra-collaborative. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Think holistic. Think leading-edge. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. Think intuitive. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "micro-intuitively"? We will leverage the capability of e-tailers to disintermediate. The angel investors factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365.