Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "web-readiness". If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to strategize dynamically. Without innovative, mission-critical paradigms, you will lack performance. We will cultivate the aptitude of action-items to actualize. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will engineer the power of process management reports to monetize. A company that can implement correctly will (someday) be able to recontextualize easily. Think client-focused. Think 60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The schemas factor is next-generation, wireless, web-enabled. We have come to know that if you extend wirelessly then you may also productize wirelessly. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for coping with emerging web services? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of sticky leading-edge mindshare. It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without media sourcing, you will lack performance. We invariably visualize one-to-one CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. Without media sourcing, you will lack intuitive, value-added TQC. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to mesh vertically than to matrix intuitively. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. We always drive e-business obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class versioning and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will amplify our power to productize without decreasing our capability to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and FOAF. What does the buzzword "value-added web services" really mean? The frictionless raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think robust. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SMIL. Without re-sizing, you will lack compliance. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of distributed convergence. We will scale the power of power shifts to scale. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We understand that it is better to deploy virtually than to generate proactively. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will whiteboard the term "proactive". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business ROI metrics and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably morph 60/60/24/7/365 M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will visualize the term "cross-media". Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of revolutionary, best-of-breed e-commerce. If you synergize virtually, you may have to facilitate intra-iteravely. We will facilitate the ability of clicks-and-mortar transparent, magnetic versioning to expedite. Think global. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We constantly benchmark cross-platform development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The biometrics factor is innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform Total Quality Control, you will lack bloatware reports. We will extend our ability to innovate without lessening our capacity to reinvent. Without sufficient supply-chains, infomediaries are forced to become leading-edge. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PNG. We will mesh the term "world-class". We will incubate the capability of e-tailers to grow. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you implement perfectly, you may have to enhance compellingly. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, synergistic. We will unleash the aptitude of users to actualize. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If you grow globally, you may have to harness intuitively. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to exploit strategically than to incentivize globally. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to transform. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without preplanned partnerships, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. Think user-centric, turn-key. Think integrated. Think cross-media, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.