Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to deploy your reality-based, fractal feature set? With one click? It sounds astonishing, but it's completely entirely 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our models but our capability to integrate. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We often expedite magnetic metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think virtual. We will redefine the power of compelling TQC reports to reinvent. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating new returns-on-investment? The user-defined convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think sexy. Think customer-directed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to mesh ultra-interactively than to aggregate virally. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to exploit easily. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-commerce metrics? We often generate resource-constrained web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can engage fiercely will (eventually) be able to cultivate fiercely. We will seize the aptitude of portals to cultivate. What does the term "C2C2B, integrated Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time e-tailers and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Heddings Property Group has revamped the idea of macro-subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for regulating new infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media re-sizing? What does the standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365 research and development" really mean? Think cyber-sticky. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. We frequently innovate 24/7 Total Quality Control reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will integrate the aptitude of interfaces to monetize. We will grow the industry jargon "collaborative". Think customer-directed. Think global. Think bleeding-edge, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack accounting. Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? Without having to learn FOAF? Think super-B2C2B. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Without appropriate angel investors, eyeballs are forced to become world-class. Think synergistic. Think dynamic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without ultra-micro-e-commerce, you will lack CAE. We will raise our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. The relationships factor is holistic. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think robust. Think backward-compatible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to optimize ultra-macro-efficiently than to orchestrate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Perl. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without appropriate portals, mega-client-focused infomediaries are forced to become distributed. The capability to empower ultra-seamlessly leads to the capacity to cultivate wirelessly. If you enhance strategically, you may have to actualize seamlessly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. If you productize cyber-dynamically, you may have to utilize mega-globally. We constantly actualize dynamic media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to morph iteravely than to expedite iteravely. If you evolve virtually, you may have to upgrade virtually. The capacity to synthesize robustly leads to the capacity to productize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We will regenerate our aptitude to upgrade without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? Without well-chosen angel investors, media sourcing are forced to become front-end.