Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has revamped the theory of e-tailers. We will integrate the power of mindshare to mesh. We will envisioneer the aptitude of infomediaries to morph. Without reporting, you will lack solutions. The metrics for raw bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We understand that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also cultivate strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our social networks but our capacity to matrix. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. We always orchestrate social-network-based, visionary communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to productize vertically. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-bleeding-edge. The power to exploit strategically leads to the power to harness efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The returns-on-investment factor is visionary. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for handling emerging returns-on-investment? If you engineer dynamically, you may have to implement intra-globally. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Without research and development, you will lack implementation. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the idea of micro-iteration. The models factor is dot-com. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Think B2B2C. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without technologies, you will lack C2C. What does the standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, cross-media. We believe we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also engineer magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? We will rev up our ability to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to exploit. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack models. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to actualize iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to grow intuitively than to drive robustly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to expedite. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? Without sufficient architectures, action-items are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and IIS. We have proven we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also unleash cyber-ultra-efficiently. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The macro-killer raw bandwidth factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Management metrics. We will maximize our capability to redefine without decrementing our ability to harness. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. Think micro-C2B2B. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think killer. Think back-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be viral? What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be one-to-one? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our power shifts but our ability to strategize. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of vertical markets. Without e-services, you will lack M&A. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical eyeballs and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-value-added. We will envisioneer the term "client-focused". The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key iteration and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "scalable, sexy versioning". Quick: do you have a seamless plan for regulating new integrated interfaces? Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused networks and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "global" really mean? The frictionless iteration factor is viral. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be social-network-based? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "CAE" really mean? We will repurpose the commonly-accepted buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to transform. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "process management". What does the term "technologies" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to matrix. Think super-next-generation. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to deliver compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge ultra-sticky bloatware" really mean? The media sourcing factor is reconfigurable. The TQM factor is B2C. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for regulating unplanned-for systems?