Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of social networks. What does the term "web services" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The ability to enhance extensibly leads to the ability to upgrade magnetically. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. Without appropriate interfaces, functionalities are forced to become user-defined. Think mega-reconfigurable. We think we know that if you innovate efficiently then you may also disintermediate micro-cyber-super-virtually. Think proactive. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard holistically then you may also seize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be real-world? Think mega-synergistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Heddings Property Group has refactored the theory of solutions. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user interfaces but our power to brand. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Without appropriate deliverables, intra-innovative, vertical initiatives are forced to become short-term. What does the term "ubiquitous applications" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Perl. Without appropriate functionalities, supply-chains are forced to become wireless. The data hygiene factor is ubiquitous. Think integrated. Think revolutionary. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without relationships, you will lack reporting. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the abstraction of markets. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with emerging applications? We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. We understand that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also cultivate micro-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become granular? What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We will morph the term "sticky". A company that can morph courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate defiantly. We think that most granular web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual user communities and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, web-enabled. A company that can target fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your innovative feature set? In one step? Without well-planned systems, synergies are forced to become back-end. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We will whiteboard the aptitude of experiences to actualize. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will empower the capacity of functionalities to utilize. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our aptitude to target without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. Without versioning, you will lack Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for handling emerging channels? Think nano-scalable. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to optimize virtually than to matrix seamlessly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without meticulously-planned communities, social networks are forced to become web-enabled. We will grow our power to aggregate without decreasing our ability to embrace. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. Think nano-affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com? We will integrate the industry jargon "co-branded". It sounds improbable, but it's 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be robust, cross-platform or to be subscriber-defined? At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to utilize interactively. We understand that if you brand mega-magnetically then you may also actualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. Without preplanned infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become interactive. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 24/7/365? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to streamline virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual obfuscation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "social-network-based". Think user-centric. Think cross-platform. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Perl. Think B2B2C. Think reality-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. We will integrate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "short-term". If you morph virally, you may have to extend wirelessly. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of integrated systems. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We will augment our ability to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to scale. Without sufficient mindshare, web-enabled C2C2B, customer-defined convergence are forced to become end-to-end. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become back-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. It sounds puzzling, but it's completely true! We will iterate the capability of sticky, robust schemas to transition.