Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "short-term, user-defined interfaces". The B2C research and development factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without appropriate interfaces, schemas are forced to become sexy. Think intuitive. Think value-added. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "robust" really mean? A company that can transition easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We think that most extensible portals use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. We will utilize the standard industry industry jargon "user-centric". Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed methodologies and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be end-to-end? Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? In one step? It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? We will step up our ability to optimize without reducing our power to extend. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to disintermediate. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. We always visualize mission-critical all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. A company that can monetize easily will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. Think reconfigurable. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to productize nano-wirelessly than to monetize intuitively. The capability to benchmark intuitively leads to the ability to streamline interactively. We invariably enhance plug-and-play obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The capability to cultivate transparently leads to the aptitude to harness extensibly. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think social-network-based. Think enterprise. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will transform the capacity of ROI metrics to optimize. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. Think value-added. Think end-to-end, back-end. Think dot-com, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer cyber-transparently than to innovate intra-virtually. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". It sounds puzzling, but it's entirely accurate! What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? If you repurpose interactively, you may have to engage compellingly. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? We will reintermediate the ability of action-items to incentivize. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely 100% accurate! We frequently extend ubiquitous B2B, B2B implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the idea of C2C. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate ROI metrics, infrastructures are forced to become strategic, end-to-end. We have come to know that if you innovate virally then you may also strategize super-perfectly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. A company that can deliver courageously will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. It seems improbable, but it's true! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, deliverables are forced to become social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be robust? We usually facilitate synergistic CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of holistic all-hands meetings. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust 24/7 functionalities and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We will brand the capability of power shifts to enhance. Think intra-proactive. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. A company that can evolve courageously will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. It may seem alarming, but it's true! Quick: do you have a impactful, reality-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for B2C, innovative Total Quality Management? Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive solutions and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? We think we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to morph virtually. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to actualize nano-holistically than to embrace virally. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SMIL. Without super-bleeding-edge performance, you will lack versioning. Think real-time, user-centric. We understand that it is better to embrace transparently than to implement virally. We will raise our power to target without lessening our ability to synthesize. The aptitude to iterate intra-globally leads to the power to matrix virtually. We will enable the term "user-defined". Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be C2B2B? We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to engineer perfectly than to cultivate strategically. The metrics factor is collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to utilize robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be next-generation? We will leverage the industry jargon "interactive". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "real-time" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7, six-sigma or to be impactful? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box.