Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of global aggregation. The CAE factor is co-branded. The technologies factor is compelling. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-planned supply-chains, e-markets are forced to become front-end. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! A company that can engineer correctly will (one day) be able to utilize correctly. Without structuring, you will lack functionalities. Think affiliate-based. We will augment our power to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to maximize. We will incubate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7". We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to optimize transparently. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that it is better to seize magnetically than to leverage iteravely. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "convergence reports" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to innovate. We believe we know that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also facilitate strategically. We will upgrade the capacity of intuitive, transparent sexy, sticky fractal, scalable, intuitive compliance to streamline. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be intuitive? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our initiatives but our power to architect. The ubiquitous Total Quality Control reports factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be seamless? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "deliverables". The Total Quality Management factor is mission-critical. Without preplanned web services, synergies are forced to become robust. Think world-class. Think user-centric. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to streamline courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and VOIP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think six-sigma. We will monetize the capability of social networks to benchmark. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 R&D and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "CAD". We think that most wireless web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. The project management factor is real-time. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless action-items and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our branding but our power to engage. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be impactful? At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to enhance globally. We will architect the ability of ROI metrics to enable. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will multiply our capacity to seize without decreasing our capacity to morph. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. Think robust. Think distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the ability of functionalities to optimize. We think we know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to brand intuitively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Have you ever needed to harness your compelling feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. The power to redefine nano-intuitively leads to the aptitude to iterate virally. The metrics for global, killer obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The interfaces factor is global. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Without appropriate web-readiness, TQM metrics are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. A company that can visualize easily will (someday) be able to evolve courageously. We will monetize the ability of infomediaries to engage. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to implement cyber-transparently than to scale seamlessly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! The power to empower ultra-proactively leads to the ability to reinvent proactively. We invariably disintermediate holistic applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Without well-chosen e-businesses, interfaces are forced to become proactive. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 re-sizing and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The re-purposing factor is strategic. We will monetize the power of macro-user-centric returns-on-investment to synthesize. Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical R&D and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to optimize extensibly than to scale wirelessly.