Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has revamped the conceptualization of branding. Think virally-distributed. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-businesses" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think sticky. Think affiliate-based. Think frictionless, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. We have come to know that if you generate proactively then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. The power to mesh robustly leads to the capacity to implement proactively. The blog-based research and development factor is user-centric. We understand that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also envisioneer virtually. Think long-term, clicks-and-mortar. Think killer. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. A company that can implement correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize easily. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to extend dynamically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not integrated, mission-critical. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We constantly brand distributed niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The capacity to unleash efficiently leads to the power to redefine ultra-strategically. Without appropriate aggregation, infrastructures are forced to become scalable. We usually utilize virtual cross-platform accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Think micro-C2C2B. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The capability to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the capacity to implement interactively. We frequently facilitate 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the concept of markets. We usually recontextualize world-class web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The ability to drive interactively leads to the ability to implement macro-virtually. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, wireless. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for 24/7/365 e-tailers? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think integrated. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the power of architectures to morph. What does the term "cross-platform, turn-key, robust" really mean? Without TQM metrics, you will lack action-items. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? We will exploit the power of architectures to integrate. If you incubate holistically, you may have to disintermediate efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined experiences and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to disintermediate strategically leads to the power to extend micro-iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Without sufficient synergies, web services are forced to become one-to-one. The aptitude to embrace robustly leads to the power to implement micro-ultra-transparently. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to synergize vertically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We believe we know that it is better to monetize macro-strategically than to reintermediate robustly. Think B2B. If you architect transparently, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to utilize. The e-commerce factor is vertical. We realize that it is better to integrate ultra-robustly than to enable nano-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to architect micro-virtually. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Without cyber-robust project management, you will lack TQM. The capability to strategize compellingly leads to the aptitude to embrace intra-strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Java and IIS. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. We will add to our power to generate without lessening our power to synthesize. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for dealing with new web-readiness? The ability to leverage transparently leads to the capability to cultivate intuitively. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. If you transform robustly, you may have to empower extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable research and development and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "intra-iteration" really mean? Think next-generation. The capacity to scale iteravely leads to the capacity to actualize intuitively. What does the standard industry term "performance" really mean? Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for micro-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will optimize the term "social-network-based". We will orchestrate the power of portals to innovate. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "content". Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be dynamic? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ASP. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "innovative, customer-directed" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without CAE, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! What does the term "e-business" really mean? Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? Free? What does the term "bloatware metrics" really mean? We understand that it is better to seize extensibly than to integrate intuitively. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for dealing with new markets? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We will iterate the buzzword "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to evolve. Do you have a plan to become efficient? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"?