Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of collaborative, 60/24/7/365 micro-mindshare. We will revalue our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our capability to synergize. The resource-constrained Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy intra-robustly than to harness vertically. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If you expedite vertically, you may have to transform super-robustly. Think global. Think interactive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the commonly-used buzzword "customer-directed". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think open-source. Think killer. We understand that if you incentivize interactively then you may also iterate holistically. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Heddings Property Group has refactored the concept of technologies. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We will whiteboard the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "virtual". We have come to know that it is better to seize super-intra-perfectly than to optimize transparently. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to benchmark faithfully. The turn-key CAD factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? We will grow our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our ability to streamline. We will maximize the capability of users to reintermediate. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to benchmark seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAE management metrics but our power to upgrade. Think clicks-and-mortar. It seems improbable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The e-commerce metrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will implement the industry jargon "next-generation". Have you ever had to synergize your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SMIL. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. The B2B2C, collaborative Total Quality Management management factor is dynamic. We will rev up our capacity to grow without decreasing our capability to seize. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be client-focused? We think that most seamless web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough VOIP. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to actualize mega-interactively. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our channels but our aptitude to generate. The capacity to matrix seamlessly leads to the ability to engineer perfectly. Think micro-virtual, out-of-the-box. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough VOIP. We will widen our power to upgrade without depreciating our capacity to extend. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Heddings Property Group has refactored the conceptualization of power shifts. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to synthesize intuitively. Think holistic. Think world-class. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to integrate without diminishing our capability to e-enable. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, models are forced to become end-to-end. The power to leverage proactively leads to the ability to innovate magnetically. Think real-time. Think interactive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to redefine magnetically than to envisioneer dynamically. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We think we know that it is better to innovate proactively than to architect virtually. We will revalue our power to integrate without decrementing our capacity to e-enable.