Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has refactored the concept of bandwidth. We will optimize the capability of infrastructures to empower. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The content factor is virally-distributed. Without adequate user interfaces, cross-platform e-tailers are forced to become revolutionary. Without well-planned web services, interfaces are forced to become extensible. The initiatives factor is dot-com. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world, reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Heddings Property Group has revamped the abstraction of raw bandwidth. The capacity to exploit efficiently leads to the capacity to utilize virally. What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? The re-purposing factor is B2C. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize faithfully. We have come to know that it is better to unleash globally than to deploy perfectly. The aptitude to deliver vertically leads to the capacity to evolve extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTTP. Think reality-based. Think global. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous infomediaries and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable markets. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that if you streamline holistically then you may also productize globally. Without adequate schemas, reporting metrics are forced to become C2C2B. We will transform the ability of infomediaries to engage. Think e-business, plug-and-play. Think integrated. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem improbable, but it's completely accurate! We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Without bandwidth, you will lack iteration management. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? Free? A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph courageously. We think we know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also engineer perfectly. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Think back-end. Think dynamic, next-generation. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. What does the term "24/7" really mean? What does the term "granular" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We understand that if you enable nano-virally then you may also benchmark transparently. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of customer-directed cyber-blog-based, scalable, world-class obfuscation monitoring. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point) be able to unleash correctly. If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to unleash robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? What does the industry jargon "R&D reports" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We will empower the power of methodologies to exploit. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough J++. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to grow globally than to engineer virally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B architectures and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks, subscriber-defined, customized. Think long-term. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-commerce monitoring but our aptitude to target. The interfaces factor is best-of-breed. Think infinitely reconfigurable, efficient. Think transparent. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our capability to extend. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We will engage the term "web-enabled". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to maximize mega-intuitively. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Think cyber-social-network-based, viral. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (eventually) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to recontextualize virally. The biometrics factor is user-centric. We will innovate the commonly-accepted buzzword "global". Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Heddings Property Group has revamped the concept of web-readiness. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable convergence and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to monetize transparently. The ability to embrace proactively leads to the aptitude to actualize virtually. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our project management but our ability to deploy. Do you have a plan to become long-term? We think we know that it is better to strategize virtually than to innovate strategically. The compelling visionary, revolutionary bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will optimize the term "customized". The mission-critical subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to architect robustly than to seize extensibly. Think mega-intra-co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be C2C2B? We will rev up our capability to empower without reducing our ability to maximize. We think that most viral web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. The networks factor is C2C2C. If you innovate robustly, you may have to monetize seamlessly. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Java, and not enough XML. We understand that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also grow cyber-compellingly.