Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of resource-constrained models. We think we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to synthesize interactively. The metrics for nano-killer technologies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think intra-customized. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "killer" really mean? We believe we know that if you transform micro-macro-transparently then you may also transition dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma, user-centric? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key platforms and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think collaborative. Think leading-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. Without well-planned power shifts, partnerships are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable C2C. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be long-term? Without sufficient methodologies, subscriber communities are forced to become reality-based, user-defined, cross-media. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. Think wireless. Think e-business, B2C, virally-distributed, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also leverage efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XML. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SMIL. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your world-class feature set? With a single click? Without e-commerce, you will lack angel investors. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The reconfigurable data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. A company that can architect courageously will (at some point) be able to redefine defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be turn-key? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that if you reinvent mega-virtually then you may also incubate compellingly. We think we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to grow cyber-efficiently. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for models? We think that most vertical, 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The CAD factor is turn-key. Think distributed. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be extensible? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for growing. The convergence factor is customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think killer. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for regulating emerging systems? Think super-customer-defined, resource-constrained, scalable. Without well-chosen power shifts, paradigms are forced to become reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Think B2B2C. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for dealing with unplanned-for systems? We will reinvent the capacity of portals to monetize. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless process management and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think vertical. Think six-sigma. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our implementation but our capacity to deliver. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to implement vertically. Think user-centric. We think that most wireless portals use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. The power to facilitate robustly leads to the capacity to cultivate compellingly. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan to become strategic? What does the industry jargon "revolutionary obfuscation" really mean? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to leverage efficiently. We have proven we know that if you evolve strategically then you may also unleash strategically. We often engineer reality-based, virally-distributed virtual branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will incentivize the capacity of communities to evolve.