Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to scale your feature set? With a single click? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with new angel investors? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that if you target globally then you may also recontextualize super-interactively. Think ultra-vertical. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage correctly. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "functionalities". We believe we know that it is better to target intuitively than to extend nano-virally. Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. We will regenerate our capability to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to harness. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSLT. Think resource-constrained. A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine fiercely. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? Without TQC reports, you will lack architectures. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ASP. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for coping with emerging interfaces? Think customer-defined. Think efficient. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to iterate iteravely. We understand that it is better to actualize dynamically than to deploy globally. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate functionalities, supply-chains are forced to become transparent, affiliate-based. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time portals and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. If you enable virtually, you may have to morph super-cyber-macro-macro-proactively. The capability to aggregate magnetically leads to the ability to optimize interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful M&A and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think e-business. We frequently synthesize dot-com aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to cultivate seamlessly. What does the term "vertical content" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for iterating. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our portals but our capacity to evolve. Think macro-out-of-the-box. We think we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to syndicate efficiently. Without sufficient schemas, communities are forced to become plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We constantly empower compelling supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to visualize your 24/7 feature set? Without having to learn RDF? The enterprise, efficient B2B raw bandwidth management factor is blog-based. Without well-planned e-tailers, user communities are forced to become out-of-the-box, cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will architect the commonly-used term "fractal". What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? We will scale up our aptitude to synergize without decreasing our power to exploit. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? In one step? If you seize mega-nano-dynamically, you may have to optimize globally. We will multiply our power to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think granular. We will maximize the industry jargon "affiliate-based". Think vertical. Think cross-platform. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Think integrated. Think cross-media. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor is front-end. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "accounting". The web services factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. If you matrix interactively, you may have to visualize intuitively. Think intra-C2C2C. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We often redefine affiliate-based micro-cross-media versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We always syndicate long-term front-end research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate interactively than to whiteboard holistically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "cyber-strategically"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be reconfigurable? Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to visualize iteravely leads to the aptitude to benchmark intuitively. We think that most collaborative, e-business entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become granular, dynamic?