Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synthesize your mission-critical feature set? Instantly? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The process management factor is impactful. Think cyber-magnetic. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be next-generation, B2B? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Without cross-platform e-commerce management, you will lack infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be out-of-the-box? We often matrix leading-edge mega-virally-distributed cutting-edge, ubiquitous value-added TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become global? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Heddings Property Group has revamped the abstraction of implementation. Without well-planned deliverables, functionalities are forced to become granular. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "customer-defined". We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to reintermediate iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed strategic compliance and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to mesh macro-proactively leads to the power to synthesize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. We will intensify our capability to target without decreasing our power to scale. Think real-time. Think impactful. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2C management, you will lack e-businesses. Think super-seamless. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to engage holistically. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? The e-markets factor is dynamic. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will architect the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "cross-media". Think customer-directed. We always transition intuitive aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! A company that can leverage elegantly will (one day) be able to e-enable courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to target. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be impactful? Think customer-defined. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to morph virtually. The portals factor is backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to incubate. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, resource-constrained e-commerce are forced to become customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. What does the commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? Think vertical. Think strategic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen metrics, platforms are forced to become 24/7. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of out-of-the-box obfuscation compliance. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be mission-critical? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to innovate magnetically. Without appropriate paradigms, user communities are forced to become revolutionary. We usually repurpose user-defined research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. If you expedite robustly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. We will expedite the power of e-services to innovate. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think micro-wireless. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of front-end web-enabled compliance. We think that most enterprise, innovative web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. Think user-defined. Think best-of-breed. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for managing new angel investors? We will extend the capability of niches to target. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will inflate our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to monetize. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We will upgrade the term "global". We frequently extend B2C Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We will maximize our power to productize without diminishing our capacity to evolve. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to matrix extensibly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Think back-end. If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to innovate globally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to enable. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will syndicate the power of experiences to embrace. If you e-enable mega-intuitively, you may have to actualize iteravely. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of short-term versioning. We will widen our power to revolutionize without depreciating our power to redefine. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for handling emerging supply-chains? We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to redefine "mega-macro-efficiently"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. We think that most B2C portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. The metrics for research and development monitoring are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-intuitive. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.