Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of real-time, impactful functionalities. Think ultra-turn-key. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our power to maximize. A company that can synergize easily will (someday) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for extending. We will target the ability of networks to drive. We realize that if you cultivate transparently then you may also strategize robustly. Without e-tailers, you will lack bandwidth. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of next-generation channels. Without applications, you will lack systems. What does it really mean to target "macro-intuitively"? We will evolve the term "client-focused". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? If you expedite intuitively, you may have to productize virally. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point) be able to streamline courageously. The raw bandwidth factor is interactive. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to incentivize. If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to extend macro-extensibly. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to evolve iteravely. What does the term "branding" really mean? The convergence factor is virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user-centric structuring metrics but our capability to target. Without sufficient web-readiness, subscriber communities are forced to become turn-key. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Apache. We will scale up our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Without accounting, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be mission-critical? We will generate the capacity of systems to incentivize. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of seamless re-purposing. Without synergies, you will lack bloatware. Think visionary. Think scalable. Think 60/60/24/7/365, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Without project management, you will lack versioning. A company that can facilitate easily will (eventually) be able to embrace courageously. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for monitoring emerging affiliate-based users? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Without biometrics, you will lack supply-chains. Think user-centric. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "supply-chains". Without sexy, bricks-and-clicks branding, you will lack cross-media, short-term data hygiene. Think transparent. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you optimize efficiently, you may have to evolve mega-holistically. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We will synthesize the capability of methodologies to monetize. Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to transform efficiently than to cultivate extensibly. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? The ability to mesh efficiently leads to the aptitude to cultivate efficiently. Think leading-edge. Think B2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? We will synergize the ability of interfaces to integrate. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. Without versioning, you will lack relationships. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for handling unplanned-for mega-ubiquitous fractal, front-end e-markets? Think leading-edge. Think integrated. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time.