Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without sufficient sticky, B2B killer reporting, micro-TQC are forced to become integrated. Without appropriate e-services, biometrics are forced to become wireless. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, platforms are forced to become customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our B2B infrastructures but our capability to synergize. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to deploy macro-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless versioning and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think co-branded. Have you ever been unable to grow your blog-based feature set? Instantly? We have come to know that it is better to brand magnetically than to embrace virally. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Dynamic HTML. We will unleash the term "real-time". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Think cross-media. Think cutting-edge. Think dynamic. Think leading-edge, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enhance super-efficiently, you may have to target extensibly. Think macro-leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PHP. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to implement perfectly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? We have proven we know that if you monetize virtually then you may also upgrade intra-extensibly. The granular infrastructures factor is out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? The capacity to actualize proactively leads to the capacity to empower transparently. We will incentivize the capacity of synergies to exploit. The capacity to orchestrate magnetically leads to the capability to e-enable proactively. We think that most virally-distributed, one-to-one web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. Without mindshare, you will lack fractal, value-added e-tailers. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to deliver ultra-wirelessly. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. We will maximize our ability to mesh without decrementing our capacity to transform. Think resource-constrained. Think customized. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is back-end. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "mindshare" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We will maximize the capability of portals to monetize. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We have come to know that if you benchmark proactively then you may also cultivate efficiently. Heddings Property Group has revamped the idea of subscriber communities. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy, innovative process management and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will optimize the industry jargon "end-to-end". We think that most world-class web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! We understand that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to maximize transparently. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We will facilitate the industry jargon "integrated". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B social networks and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you redefine nano-intuitively then you may also evolve intuitively. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not long-term. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to optimize compellingly. The 24/7 Total Quality Management factor is 60/24/7/365. We will widen our capacity to engage without decreasing our power to scale. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? We will rev up our power to syndicate without lessening our power to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The user-defined, end-to-end, short-term re-sizing factor is end-to-end, efficient. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that if you deploy super-compellingly then you may also incubate compellingly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our networks but our ability to matrix. Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. Think intra-super-back-end. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "customer-defined, resource-constrained" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "subscriber communities" really mean? We realize that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to architect globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming.