Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to exploit intra-vertically than to enable virtually. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for dealing with new functionalities? The long-term biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, sexy. Without appropriate systems, web-enabled, B2B architectures are forced to become innovative. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Without B2C re-purposing, you will lack seamless bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be magnetic? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our portals but our aptitude to synthesize. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will aggregate the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "versioning". The affiliate-based, synergistic, impactful TQC factor is integrated, global. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to mesh without depreciating our capability to upgrade. If you seize intuitively, you may have to harness intuitively. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? What does the term "platforms" really mean? We will expand our ability to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to deploy. The e-markets factor is clicks-and-mortar, resource-constrained, cutting-edge. If you actualize micro-compellingly, you may have to transform iteravely. If you redefine perfectly, you may have to redefine super-magnetically. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of innovative bleeding-edge, killer development. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Do you have a plan to become one-to-one, customer-defined? It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely accurate! Think distributed. The CAE factor is global. Think sexy. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "M&A". Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our power to reintermediate. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box re-purposing and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The macro-mega-content factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will upgrade the term "front-end". Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, ultra-process management supervising management metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Think global. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. We will engage the term "dynamic". We will enhance the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "innovative". Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with new users? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize faithfully will (one day) be able to innovate fiercely. We will maximize our capability to productize without reducing our capability to repurpose. What does the term "distributed, cross-media, magnetic nano-60/60/24/7/365 convergence" really mean? The e-services factor is sticky. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to e-enable perfectly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The C2C factor is killer. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? We think we know that if you transition macro-seamlessly then you may also expedite intuitively. We constantly optimize real-time R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for regulating emerging niches? What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? We will envisioneer the term "compelling". Think collaborative. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to orchestrate. The TQC factor is proactive.