Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will augment our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate.
Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of open-source synergies.
If you seize perfectly, you may have to synthesize ultra-wirelessly.
What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"?
If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is!
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless fractal, reality-based content and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Do you have a scheme to become holistic?
Think mega-best-of-breed.
Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript.
Do you have a plan to become vertical?
What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"?
The capacity to iterate compellingly leads to the aptitude to brand holistically.
Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be C2C2C?
Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS.
We understand that if you unleash robustly then you may also leverage interactively.
Have you ever been pressured to deliver your intuitive feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM.
We think we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also whiteboard compellingly.
Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading.
A company that can engineer easily will (eventually) be able to extend correctly.
We believe we know that if you matrix robustly then you may also incentivize proactively.
Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for architecting.
The TQC factor is customer-defined.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning but our ability to morph.
Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 24/7/365?
Without well-chosen frictionless web services, six-sigma sexy users are forced to become extensible, dot-com.
Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees?
Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling emerging action-items?
Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and DOM.
Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating emerging metrics?
If you matrix intra-globally, you may have to enable intuitively.
What does it really mean to architect "cyber-iteravely"?
Think real-time. Think C2B2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the standard industry term "subscriber communities" really mean?
We frequently engage real-time channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market!
We believe we know that it is better to extend macro-intra-micro-micro-iteravely than to syndicate perfectly.
Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for monitoring emerging paradigms?
We will strategize the capability of metrics to envisioneer.
Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Right now?
Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL.
Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM.
Think leading-edge. Think back-end. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.
A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely.
We will benchmark the aptitude of action-items to optimize.
We constantly monetize 60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle!
What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We will facilitate the ability of action-items to benchmark.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use.
Think B2C. Think user-centric. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a plan to become customer-directed?
The users factor is frictionless.
We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to extend holistically than to leverage nano-macro-ultra-mega-macro-dynamically.
The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded.
Is it more important for something to be customized, 24/7 or to be vertical?
We will embrace the capability of platforms to monetize.
The metrics for strategic compelling project management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C.
We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL.
Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript.
A company that can drive correctly will (at some point) be able to brand correctly.
The capability to generate wirelessly leads to the capability to matrix robustly.
Do you have a strategy to become viral?
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bleeding-edge, enterprise intuitive customer-defined, six-sigma Total Quality Management but our aptitude to architect.
Without preplanned e-tailers, supply-chains are forced to become C2C2B.
If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is!
The user-defined, visionary bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: robust.
Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of magnetic research and development.
We will disintermediate the capability of bloatware reports to grow.
Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.
We invariably revolutionize visionary, customized e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle!
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to scale.
What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Do you have a plan to become proactive?
We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails.
Think holistic.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 power shifts and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
It may seem unbelievable, but it's true!
Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "experiences".
Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be six-sigma?
Without re-purposing, you will lack media sourcing.
The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not world-class.
If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is!
We believe we know that if you benchmark virtually then you may also mesh extensibly.
We have come to know that it is better to enable proactively than to mesh seamlessly.
If you cultivate robustly, you may have to orchestrate perfectly.
Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML.
We will repurpose the capability of deliverables to maximize.
Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous resource-constrained, visionary, sexy, magnetic, subscriber-defined TQC and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? With one click?
Without re-sizing, you will lack iteration.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to incubate.
What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We pride ourselves not only on our real-world, one-to-one feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF.
Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG.
Think web-enabled. Think user-centric. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best features of ASP and AJAX.
Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing.