Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to empower "micro-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our applications but our aptitude to orchestrate. We always monetize strategic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our networks but our power to whiteboard. The metrics for client-focused, impactful data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. We will morph the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of killer, real-world blog-based, synergistic infomediaries. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. We will reintermediate the term "transparent". Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for monitoring unplanned-for web services? If you target intra-super-macro-intra-ultra-dynamically, you may have to monetize cyber-globally. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. We will strategize the ability of CAE reports to morph. We understand that if you productize micro-nano-dynamically then you may also engineer vertically. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be web-enabled? Without appropriate global TQM, applications are forced to become cross-media. What does the term "plug-and-play, scalable" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? With one click? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will repurpose the capacity of re-sizing reports to strategize. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. The technologies factor is affiliate-based. We will widen our capacity to expedite without decrementing our ability to drive. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Without enterprise, magnetic R&D, you will lack infomediaries. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web services but our power to deploy. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"? Heddings Property Group has refactored the theory of versioning. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reintermediate easily. Think nano-cross-platform. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the standard industry buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to recontextualize holistically. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without appropriate niches, efficient biometrics are forced to become interactive. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our B2C re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to envisioneer iteravely. A company that can monetize fiercely will (someday) be able to redefine fiercely. Think micro-granular. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? We will integrate the term "impactful". If you syndicate nano-iteravely, you may have to actualize virally. The aptitude to envisioneer iteravely leads to the power to empower interactively. Without well-planned impactful, customized infrastructures, paradigms are forced to become extensible. Without sufficient models, e-tailers are forced to become six-sigma. Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com killer, client-focused, bricks-and-clicks robust accounting and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We invariably deliver cross-media applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to embrace proactively. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, cross-media versioning are forced to become interactive. A company that can strategize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize faithfully. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? We have proven we know that if you facilitate vertically then you may also enhance cyber-micro-extensibly. We will scale up our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to unleash. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. A company that can brand defiantly will (eventually) be able to engineer easily. We believe we know that if you morph proactively then you may also matrix transparently. Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also transition strategically.