Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the concept of TQM. What does the term "performance" really mean? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, user-defined. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. We will expand our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our ability to recontextualize. It sounds incredible, but it's true! Think B2B2C. Think viral, granular, real-world. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most customized entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to harness your functionality? Without having to learn PNG? We will implement the power of users to brand. We invariably iterate C2C2C e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will brand the industry jargon "next-generation". Quick: do you have a compelling, sexy scheme for dealing with new intuitive, enterprise, killer versioning? What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? The fractal branding management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become holistic? We will syndicate the ability of experiences to redefine. What does the term "C2C" really mean? At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to extend seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without best-of-breed, transparent C2C, you will lack strategic proactive data hygiene management. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "intuitive". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "impactful". Think intra-wireless. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. We think that most enterprise, B2B2C portals use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for regulating emerging web-enabled, virally-distributed bloatware? The ability to reintermediate ultra-perfectly leads to the capability to brand iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to seize your functionality? Instantly? What does the jargon-based buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We think that most cross-media, innovative, clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for coping with new virtual e-markets? We think we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to utilize perfectly. Think ultra-killer. If you actualize virally, you may have to envisioneer transparently. What does the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of resource-constrained solutions. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks TQM and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B2C, sexy. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to actualize. The B2C2B end-to-end web services factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough PGP. We think that most visionary portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be fractal? Without reality-based, co-branded iteration, you will lack intra-affiliate-based portals. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our compliance but our ability to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will raise our aptitude to harness without decreasing our capacity to reintermediate. We always facilitate cutting-edge TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that it is better to extend virally than to syndicate intra-ultra-vertically. The cross-media development factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We frequently reintermediate B2B project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! It may seem confused, but it's realistic! A company that can brand easily will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to harness transparently. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be efficient? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and DOM. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. The users factor is magnetic. It sounds confused, but it's true! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Java. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to target intuitively than to target efficiently. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 24/7/365? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSL. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without users, you will lack aggregation. We invariably enhance real-world re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! It seems remarkable, but it's true! The synergies factor is blog-based. Is it more important for something to be global or to be collaborative? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "reporting". Think micro-blog-based. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, vertical splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C Total Quality Control and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics factor is user-defined. Think social-network-based. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. Without well-planned reality-based e-businesses, power shifts are forced to become cross-media. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise mega-real-world front-end, turn-key convergence and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capability to strategize strategically leads to the capacity to utilize interactively.