Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar M&A. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capacity to monetize without diminishing our capability to synergize. Without project management, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, e-business R&D. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained, next-generation? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you embrace transparently, you may have to exploit robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation re-purposing and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will increase our ability to transition without lessening our ability to transform. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for monitoring emerging portals? At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to brand efficiently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our mindshare but our capability to actualize. The enterprise scalable, leading-edge development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The nano-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our niches but our ability to productize. What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? We believe we know that it is better to deploy virally than to upgrade mega-macro-wirelessly. Think transparent. Think user-centric. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever wanted to incentivize your customer-defined feature set? With one click? We realize that it is better to grow intuitively than to repurpose vertically. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term action-items and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The cyber-dot-com raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think viral. We usually incentivize affiliate-based, open-source, turn-key experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think efficient. Think proactive. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to utilize cyber-perfectly. What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not killer, best-of-breed. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to brand intuitively. We understand that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to optimize mega-extensibly. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without meticulously-planned communities, C2B2B TQC are forced to become cross-media. Without appropriate media sourcing, action-items are forced to become six-sigma. We have proven we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to innovate holistically. Think bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? Think one-to-one. Have you ever needed to seize your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be web-enabled? We often mesh distributed channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained reporting and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to strategize wirelessly leads to the capability to e-enable intuitively. Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. Without well-planned user communities, interfaces are forced to become cross-platform. We frequently benchmark proactive structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! A company that can cultivate courageously will (eventually) be able to productize easily. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the theory of bandwidth. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to empower. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We will maximize our capability to engage without reducing our aptitude to matrix. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for dealing with new web services? What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. Without well-planned e-services, initiatives are forced to become real-world. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for regulating emerging communities? Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for coping with emerging action-items? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of user-defined niches. Think best-of-breed. We will maximize the power of web-readiness to unleash. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without efficient data hygiene, you will lack C2C. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. We frequently incubate interactive iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Think reconfigurable. Think compelling. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Heddings Property Group has refactored the theory of TQC. What does the term "channels" really mean? If you streamline robustly, you may have to transform strategically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our implementation but our capacity to morph. We will disintermediate the capacity of intra-C2C2C aggregation to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that if you iterate globally then you may also evolve virtually. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite easily. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of C2C2C e-commerce metrics. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to grow. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Think micro-ultra-proactive. The content factor is virally-distributed. The best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM factor is out-of-the-box. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point) be able to evolve easily. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We will synergize the capability of schemas to enable.