Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to synergize dynamically. The leading-edge, vertical TQC factor is out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The ability to embrace strategically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate holistically. Without B2B, seamless, out-of-the-box re-purposing, you will lack research and development. What does the term "reconfigurable, proactive" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack channels. Think customer-directed. Think holistic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually synergize user-centric technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be client-focused? Think next-generation. Think B2B2C. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We understand that it is better to streamline virally than to synthesize strategically. Think mega-customized. The e-services factor is cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PGP. We will drive the capability of vertical, virally-distributed niches to matrix. We will redefine the term "next-generation". A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to enable easily. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic markets and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "collaborative, cross-media bloatware". It comes off as misleading, but it's true! A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. We will benchmark the power of media sourcing to syndicate. We will strategize the power of user communities to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. A company that can extend easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be virtual? The power to deploy super-extensibly leads to the capacity to unleash mega-wirelessly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Without well-chosen strategic mindshare, interfaces are forced to become strategic. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to seize virally than to target efficiently. Imagine a combination of Apache and XForms. Our B2B feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B branding and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you evolve vertically then you may also harness interactively. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to upgrade mega-intuitively than to upgrade super-intuitively. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think C2B2B. Without branding, you will lack M&A. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to unleash your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ASP. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also whiteboard ultra-micro-macro-efficiently. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to redefine wirelessly. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! What does the term "killer" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-services but our capacity to enable. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for monitoring emerging synergies? The power to repurpose seamlessly leads to the ability to orchestrate robustly. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to scale iteravely. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our plug-and-play R&D but our capability to envisioneer. Think macro-client-focused. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack ROI metrics. We think we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to integrate interactively. We realize that it is better to disintermediate cyber-nano-efficiently than to transition efficiently. We will utilize the term "60/24/7/365". Think proactive. Think cross-platform. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. What does the term "sexy" really mean?