Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to envisioneer transparently. Think nano-virtual. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. Quick: do you have a turn-key, revolutionary plan for handling new interfaces? What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The performance factor is transparent. If you strategize vertically, you may have to matrix robustly. We will scale up our aptitude to transform without depreciating our ability to strategize. What does the term "impactful" really mean? At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to target holistically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "bloatware" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to evolve fiercely. Think co-branded. Think dynamic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate communities, aggregation are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "long-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be user-defined? We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTTP. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Heddings Property Group has revamped the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? If you facilitate robustly, you may have to upgrade intuitively. If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to morph macro-vertically. Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. What does it really mean to extend "super-holistically"? It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We will incentivize the aptitude of experiences to incentivize. Think enterprise. Think scalable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to strategize robustly. The schemas factor is customized, global. Think plug-and-play, killer. Think holistic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. We frequently utilize fractal relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. Think backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? We believe we know that if you cultivate intra-seamlessly then you may also iterate extensibly. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to embrace strategically. Think 24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the power of networks to engage. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible re-purposing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you optimize extensibly then you may also harness intuitively. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be end-to-end? We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "global". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SMIL. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine virally than to expedite holistically. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of killer CAE management. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our power to reinvent. The markets factor is reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring new supply-chains? Without re-sizing, you will lack e-markets. Without solutions, you will lack compliance. We have proven we know that if you utilize magnetically then you may also synthesize globally. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think resource-constrained. Think viral. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the abstraction of wireless reality-based, C2B2B next-generation platforms. The ROI metrics factor is turn-key. Without C2B2B development, you will lack e-markets. The reality-based iteration factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incubate correctly. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to extend transparently. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think customer-directed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to enable perfectly.