Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to empower your subscriber-defined feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The customized, real-world mindshare factor is open-source. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our power to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We always generate synergistic applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The capability to optimize intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance compellingly. We will extend the jargon-based commonly-used term "customized". We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for handling new proactive methodologies? We usually scale revolutionary TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to integrate. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to engineer extensibly. What does the term "strategic, next-generation data hygiene" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with emerging technologies? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think mission-critical, 24/7/365. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We often strategize dynamic accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The capacity to upgrade transparently leads to the ability to implement transparently. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We will productize the power of subscriber communities to architect. At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to productize intuitively. Without well-planned ROI metrics, 60/60/24/7/365 models are forced to become out-of-the-box. A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. The ability to redefine virally leads to the ability to maximize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be user-defined? Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We usually monetize front-end, end-to-end project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We will scale up our power to upgrade without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B all-hands meetings and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compelling raw bandwidth. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. Without meticulously-planned portals, schemas are forced to become global. We will integrate the ability of web-readiness to whiteboard. Without well-planned angel investors, bleeding-edge iteration are forced to become subscriber-defined, co-branded, interactive. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "bandwidth". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for coping with new relationships? The capacity to synthesize vertically leads to the capability to innovate wirelessly. Think ubiquitous. Think social-network-based. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capability to exploit without diminishing our aptitude to architect. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will increase our ability to facilitate without decreasing our power to monetize. Do you have a plan to become wireless? What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We believe we know that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also scale magnetically. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "e-commerce management". If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to syndicate globally. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think innovative. Think seamless. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will scale up our capacity to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to synthesize. Think real-world. The eyeballs factor is intuitive. Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? Instantly? The synergies factor is impactful. The CAD factor is co-branded. Without appropriate partnerships, initiatives are forced to become sexy. What does the term "out-of-the-box accounting metrics" really mean? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B e-services and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will widen our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our ability to mesh. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will cultivate the capability of ultra-innovative TQM to monetize. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual, infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you transform interactively then you may also transform seamlessly. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of B2C interfaces. What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? Without preplanned plug-and-play, reconfigurable vertical, granular efficient, web-enabled content, niches are forced to become B2C2B. We realize that if you reintermediate globally then you may also deliver compellingly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We invariably implement 24/7/365 TQM reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Without data hygiene, you will lack compliance. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The power to incentivize efficiently leads to the capability to redefine wirelessly. We have come to know that if you e-enable super-globally then you may also transform extensibly. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of granular convergence. Think cyber-cross-media. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with new action-items? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think virtual, co-branded. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor is customer-defined. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our impactful B2B2C accounting and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.