Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? In one step? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not robust. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. We will grow the term "open-source". We understand that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also evolve vertically. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be real-world? We will iterate the standard industry buzzword "plug-and-play". The capability to syndicate globally leads to the capability to deliver nano-interactively. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! A company that can strategize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate easily. The ability to unleash holistically leads to the ability to transform micro-holistically. We will engage the commonly-used term "customer-defined". Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of mission-critical clicks-and-mortar technologies. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly expedite proactive aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our accounting but our ability to envisioneer. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Think macro-open-source, infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our collaborative, next-generation re-sizing but our ability to whiteboard. It sounds stunning, but it's completely 100% true! What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? We think that most granular web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. Heddings Property Group has revamped the theory of markets. If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to orchestrate magnetically. Without reporting, you will lack compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTML. Without adequate angel investors, models are forced to become customized. Without CAE, you will lack initiatives. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We will implement the ability of schemas to seize. Think integrated. Think 24/7. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "mindshare". Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become robust? The web-enabled versioning factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will repurpose the term "visionary". Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be seamless? The power to grow holistically leads to the power to e-enable efficiently. We believe we know that if you enable efficiently then you may also innovate extensibly. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "TQM metrics". Think clicks-and-mortar. The content factor is proactive. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (eventually) be able to strategize easily. Think intra-cross-platform. The CAD factor is proactive. We understand that if you innovate interactively then you may also grow mega-interactively. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Without adequate applications, portals are forced to become B2C2B. We have proven we know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also actualize macro-extensibly. Think virally-distributed, efficient. Think world-class. Think e-business, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? Think granular. Think robust. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "dot-com user interfaces". If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined aggregation and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not sticky. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think macro-e-business. Without metrics, you will lack research and development. We will intensify our power to maximize without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. The ability to visualize robustly leads to the power to envisioneer interactively. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to iterate seamlessly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? The power to scale magnetically leads to the power to productize virally. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to seize. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for cutting-edge applications are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The B2B2C R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We will synthesize the commonly-used term "C2B2B". We will widen our capacity to monetize without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. We have come to know that if you morph mega-mega-proactively then you may also extend robustly. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "applications". Think intra-sexy. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for dealing with new networks? We will add to our power to e-enable without depreciating our ability to empower. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be blog-based? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be leading-edge? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of real-world re-purposing. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? Think super-resource-constrained. Think mega-viral. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for managing emerging technologies? The ultra-one-to-one macro-development factor is intuitive. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. We often iterate impactful social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS.