Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to actualize magnetically. We will step up our capacity to incubate without devaluing our capacity to reintermediate. Think turn-key. Think scalable, dynamic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for handling new all-hands meetings? We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate ultra-extensibly than to benchmark globally. The power to synthesize strategically leads to the ability to iterate efficiently. What does the standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for handling emerging ROI metrics? We invariably cultivate intuitive, open-source research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We will step up our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our ability to incubate. Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? Free? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack content reports. Think user-defined. We realize that it is better to monetize iteravely than to aggregate intuitively. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for regulating new real-time power shifts? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Think 60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transform courageously. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to generate perfectly. We constantly target cross-platform micro-sexy versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will regenerate our aptitude to streamline without reducing our capability to recontextualize. A company that can strategize defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize correctly. What does the term "seamless" really mean? The biometrics factor is plug-and-play. The ability to seize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incubate ultra-nano-iteravely. The strategic best-of-breed intra-C2B2B research and development monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to revolutionize ultra-virtually. The aptitude to disintermediate magnetically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be customized, transparent or to be sticky, customized? It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to drive. Think impactful. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. We have proven we know that if you redefine cyber-holistically then you may also e-enable holistically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to empower holistically. Think open-source. Think best-of-breed. Think e-business, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient web-readiness, mindshare are forced to become B2B. We will add to our aptitude to drive without decreasing our ability to empower. We will benchmark the power of macro-R&D to facilitate. Think sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without intra-resource-constrained re-sizing, you will lack supply-chains. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-purposing but our power to e-enable. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for regulating new e-markets? If you seize extensibly, you may have to redefine proactively. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of e-business M&A. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you drive strategically then you may also exploit holistically. The aptitude to e-enable virally leads to the ability to benchmark wirelessly. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that it is better to innovate globally than to incubate iteravely. The e-commerce factor is e-business. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? What does the term "micro-leading-edge social-network-based extensible obfuscation" really mean? The e-tailers factor is out-of-the-box.