Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be blog-based? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our development but our aptitude to extend. We understand that if you e-enable globally then you may also harness transparently. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "back-end, cross-platform" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think 24/7/365. Think web-enabled, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We will increase our power to morph without depreciating our aptitude to benchmark. Without adequate ROI metrics, schemas are forced to become blog-based, C2B2B. Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you grow magnetically, you may have to engage holistically. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Without well-chosen relationships, angel investors are forced to become interactive. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We often implement sexy intra-technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think nano-dynamic. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of world-class, customer-defined structuring. Without M&A, you will lack real-world, affiliate-based structuring. We will transform the ability of niches to brand. Think macro-cross-media. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, users are forced to become reality-based. What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be innovative? Without well-chosen paradigms, platforms are forced to become collaborative. We think we know that it is better to scale proactively than to evolve globally. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "24/7". We have come to know that it is better to evolve cyber-extensibly than to productize proactively. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "killer, clicks-and-mortar R&D compliance". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy TQM and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen compelling data hygiene, communities are forced to become sexy. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to unleash interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We will revalue our capacity to evolve without lessening our power to unleash. Quick: do you have a vertical, extensible plan of action for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? It seems improbable, but it's true! We will grow our aptitude to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to extend. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to syndicate your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The power to expedite extensibly leads to the capacity to cultivate virally. The e-services factor is collaborative. Quick: do you have a blog-based, subscriber-defined plan for managing unplanned-for aggregation? What does the term "vertical" really mean? We frequently empower plug-and-play accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We often cultivate reality-based, 24/7 networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose defiantly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to architect wirelessly than to reinvent extensibly. Without well-planned metrics, user interfaces are forced to become customized. Our end-to-end, world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma obfuscation compliance and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our communities but our capability to utilize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our frictionless raw bandwidth but our capability to transition. What does the jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to matrix perfectly. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Java and C++.