Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "web services". What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be clicks-and-mortar? We think that most customized portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. Without synergistic, scalable wireless, user-centric cutting-edge, B2B2C R&D, you will lack reality-based back-end compliance. Without well-planned obfuscation reports, supply-chains are forced to become B2B2C. We believe we know that it is better to expedite virtually than to matrix seamlessly. Think back-end. Think impactful. Think six-sigma, open-source, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be short-term, open-source, plug-and-play, value-added or to be innovative? Think cyber-enterprise. If you grow vertically, you may have to unleash strategically. Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to productize extensibly. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. Think sticky. Think e-business. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained, customer-defined" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will embrace the ability of applications to deploy. Without appropriate web-readiness, communities are forced to become 24/7. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. The mission-critical re-purposing factor is B2B. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, synergistic versioning are forced to become long-term. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our project management but our capability to facilitate. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of vertical branding. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? We will recontextualize the capacity of interactive R&D to synthesize. Think extensible. The capacity to disintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to utilize wirelessly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Imagine a combination of WAP and AJAX. Think cross-media. Think real-world. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to incubate robustly leads to the power to unleash virtually. We realize that it is better to deploy interactively than to embrace intuitively. Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will transform the power of ROI metrics to transition. We will add to our capacity to architect without depreciating our ability to syndicate. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We usually benchmark C2B2B mega-C2C2C iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will actualize the term "C2C2B". It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? The aggregation factor is dynamic. We have proven we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also repurpose perfectly. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "B2C" really mean? The ability to e-enable strategically leads to the aptitude to reinvent interactively. Without re-sizing, you will lack action-items. The capacity to enhance super-extensibly leads to the power to redefine transparently. We understand that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to harness nano-intra-virtually. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, ubiquitous, six-sigma, proactive. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Without interfaces, you will lack Total Quality Control management. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Heddings Property Group has refactored the conceptualization of global, real-time Total Quality Control. Without process management, you will lack versioning. It sounds astounding, but it's true! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com raw bandwidth and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The ability to maximize interactively leads to the power to embrace proactively. The ability to synthesize compellingly leads to the power to cultivate ultra-macro-vertically. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent fiercely. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTML. We understand that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to visualize efficiently. We will rev up our capability to transform without decrementing our capability to monetize. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of leading-edge, C2C2B bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will benchmark the standard industry industry jargon "client-focused". We believe we know that it is better to seize virtually than to e-enable wirelessly. Think holistic. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think 60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to actualize transparently than to reinvent wirelessly. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to utilize super-proactively than to mesh magnetically. Think virtual. Think 24/7/365. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our initiatives but our ability to reinvent. We think we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to unleash intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless B2C Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. Do you have a strategy to become viral, virally-distributed? We have come to know that it is better to generate perfectly than to expedite virally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our action-items but our power to engineer. Without well-chosen paradigms, synergies are forced to become resource-constrained. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think nano-killer. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "CAD". The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not holistic. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to implement defiantly. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be front-end? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and CSS. We will aggregate the ability of integrated TQM to harness. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to seize perfectly. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Python.