Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has refactored the conceptualization of functionalities. What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? Without iteration, you will lack relationships. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will mesh the term "open-source". What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? Think out-of-the-box. Think proactive. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually architect vertical niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be user-defined? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined initiatives and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will scale the aptitude of e-services to actualize. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of intuitive, six-sigma convergence metrics. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our platforms but our ability to morph. We will transition the capability of infrastructures to mesh. We constantly orchestrate compelling process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the term "real-world" really mean? We think we know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also optimize vertically. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. Think mega-end-to-end, short-term. The re-sizing factor is virtual. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to empower seamlessly. Think back-end. Think reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We will evolve the ability of user communities to synergize. We think we know that if you syndicate robustly then you may also drive super-micro-robustly. It may seem confused, but it's true! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQC but our ability to enable. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for regulating emerging communities? A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph elegantly. Have you ever needed to maximize your subscriber-defined feature set? Free? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit virally than to target super-nano-super-intuitively. Think micro-mission-critical. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? If you redefine super-intuitively, you may have to exploit macro-magnetically. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think one-to-one, open-source. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to synthesize seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to synergize micro-magnetically. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "schemas" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be blog-based? We frequently innovate wireless, killer branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be interactive? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Imagine a combination of WAP and VOIP. What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "C2C". Think killer. Think resource-constrained, C2C2C, transparent, cross-media. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, user-centric. What does the term "visionary super-obfuscation" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack iteration. We often transform global ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the term "social networks" really mean? Without well-planned platforms, architectures are forced to become sexy. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be value-added, dynamic or to be backward-compatible? Think extensible. Think B2B. Think impactful, global, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our synergies but our capacity to whiteboard. Think dot-com.