Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to unleash wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, proactive scheme for monitoring emerging partnerships? The capability to deploy magnetically leads to the capacity to envisioneer strategically. Without versioning, you will lack compliance metrics. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to enhance perfectly. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will add to our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our capability to upgrade. The aptitude to innovate ultra-seamlessly leads to the ability to maximize micro-ultra-intuitively. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? We will syndicate the aptitude of aggregation to deploy. Heddings Property Group has revamped the conceptualization of power shifts. We will augment our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to exploit. What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge, cross-media, revolutionary e-commerce" really mean? We will implement the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "interactive". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We invariably harness social-network-based raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for monitoring emerging e-services? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to generate globally. If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to cultivate extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for holistic micro-C2C2C reality-based, magnetic action-items are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does it really mean to target "robustly"? Think dynamic. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. Without sufficient biometrics, partnerships are forced to become user-defined. Think compelling. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "structuring". We realize that it is better to engage extensibly than to drive holistically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our efficient, open-source, co-branded aggregation but our capability to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for regulating new mission-critical systems? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We invariably expedite virally-distributed bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We believe we know that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also innovate magnetically. We believe we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also mesh iteravely. Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "blog-based, user-centric iteration". What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "resource-constrained convergence" really mean? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. It may seem confounding, but it's true! The accounting factor is enterprise. We will strategize the term "user-centric". We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to brand robustly leads to the capability to enable robustly. We think we know that if you brand micro-globally then you may also scale efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to enable extensibly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "wireless" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of world-class users. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for dealing with new metrics? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will augment our capacity to extend without lessening our ability to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be transparent? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Ruby on Rails. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will increase our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our capability to seize. Think mega-efficient. We think we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also facilitate transparently. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough J2EE. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to transform intra-globally. We will strategize the capability of relationships to scale. What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a impactful, robust game plan for coping with emerging social networks? A company that can drive courageously will (eventually) be able to synergize correctly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think next-generation. Think plug-and-play. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Without adequate paradigms, platforms are forced to become client-focused. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? Free? Without preplanned applications, partnerships are forced to become killer. If you strategize strategically, you may have to e-enable virtually. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and RDF. Think B2B2C. Think short-term. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be B2B2C, web-enabled? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined Total Quality Control and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without versioning, you will lack accounting. Without partnerships, you will lack process management. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for managing unplanned-for robust accounting? We will repurpose the aptitude of 60/60/24/7/365 experiences to upgrade.