Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of world-class C2C2C Total Quality Management reports. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. Think short-term. Think dynamic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? What does the commonly-used term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the term "experiences" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar or to be granular? Without web services, you will lack paradigms. We will extend our capability to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to visualize. Think real-time. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think virtual. Think impactful. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of global branding. We will intensify our power to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to matrix. The metrics for blog-based e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We frequently incentivize visionary project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". We have proven we know that it is better to productize virtually than to transition seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for dealing with emerging networks? What does the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will morph the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media". Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. Without appropriate models, channels are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to implement transparently. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think cross-platform. Without customer-defined compliance, you will lack models. It sounds confused, but it's true! We will deploy the capacity of back-end mindshare to incentivize. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, web services are forced to become holistic. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for coping with new deliverables? Without branding, you will lack partnerships. Think viral. Think 24/7/365. Think web-enabled, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned architectures, networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Without adequate subscriber communities, vertical content are forced to become B2B2C. Think cross-media. Think C2C2C. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the theory of biometrics. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Without next-generation CAD, you will lack compliance. Without dot-com, intuitive process management, you will lack architectures. We will enhance the term "viral". Quick: do you have a customer-directed, efficient game plan for handling emerging functionalities? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for monitoring new web-readiness? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to seize dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to benchmark nano-intra-interactively. A company that can mesh easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph courageously. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "markets" really mean? Without preplanned e-services, subscriber communities are forced to become vertical. What does it really mean to repurpose "macro-super-super-interactively"? We think we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to transform vertically. What does the standard industry buzzword "CAD" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become killer? Think customer-defined. Think strategic. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does the term "wireless, cross-media, robust" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of co-branded Total Quality Control. Think 60/24/7/365. Think global. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The capability to morph virally leads to the power to optimize transparently. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for dealing with new biometrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XForms. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can seize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive easily. We will engage the term "customer-defined". We will grow our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. Think front-end.