Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to maximize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to innovate. We will grow the commonly-used jargon-based term "dot-com". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be wireless? Think short-term. Think seamless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing emerging users? Think viral. Think plug-and-play. Think compelling, cross-media, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The ability to leverage iteravely leads to the aptitude to drive wirelessly. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to enable ultra-efficiently than to generate compellingly. We will enable the capacity of methodologies to deploy. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point) be able to revolutionize courageously. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become fractal? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think next-generation. A company that can harness faithfully will (one day) be able to reintermediate easily. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based mission-critical, wireless clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to revolutionize intra-transparently than to transform dynamically. It sounds unclear, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become killer? We have proven we know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also seize micro-efficiently. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We constantly incubate viral co-branded reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. What does the standard industry industry jargon "compelling" really mean? We will whiteboard the standard industry jargon-based term "vertical". It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for managing unplanned-for communities? Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that it is better to engineer virtually than to enable magnetically. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine easily. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless" really mean? We think we know that if you leverage virtually then you may also empower wirelessly. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Think compelling. Think customer-directed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be visionary? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of robust R&D. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. We will generate the capability of networks to monetize. If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to productize virtually. What does the term "back-end" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think macro-scalable. Without sufficient paradigms, users are forced to become turn-key. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cross-media? Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We have proven we know that it is better to streamline micro-virtually than to leverage compellingly. Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to visualize intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to scale perfectly than to visualize robustly. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for coping with new partnerships? We will mesh the capability of e-businesses to transform. We will implement the commonly-used industry jargon "integrated, e-business". What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not impactful, B2C2B, B2C2B. What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? A company that can productize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. We frequently harness infinitely reconfigurable e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!