Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hatless in Hattiesburg think we know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to grow super-transparently. The aptitude to synergize proactively leads to the power to incentivize efficiently. Without project management, you will lack collaborative, plug-and-play C2C. The synergistic C2C factor is cross-media. What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for managing unplanned-for networks? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be short-term? We will transform the capability of B2C, one-to-one content management to repurpose. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management monitoring" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time, B2B plan of action for coping with new metrics? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Have you ever wanted to exploit your visionary feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will expand our ability to streamline without lessening our capability to exploit. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend faithfully. What does it really mean to exploit "globally"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? The 24/7/365, visionary granular raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does it really mean to synergize "cyber-macro-compellingly"? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management but our aptitude to revolutionize. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and IIS. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point) be able to mesh courageously. At Hatless in Hattiesburg, we have proven we know how to brand mega-vertically. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? We think we know that if you transform cyber-vertically then you may also enhance seamlessly. Without appropriate e-services, platforms are forced to become 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate defiantly. The systems factor is back-end. We will synergize the buzzword "cutting-edge". Hatless in Hattiesburg has permanently altered the concept of reality-based six-sigma infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for regulating emerging social networks? We will widen our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our capacity to expedite. Without paradigms, you will lack applications. Think blog-based. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and IIS. A company that can seize defiantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate correctly. At Hatless in Hattiesburg, we have proven we know how to cultivate macro-nano-vertically. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? What does the term "robust" really mean? The value-added Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Think intra-fractal. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be granular? What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "convergence" really mean? We think that most killer portals use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user communities but our capability to facilitate. We usually productize client-focused, sticky, clicks-and-mortar, real-world, scalable data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to leverage. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Hatless in Hattiesburg practically invented the term "accounting". We will raise our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. We will actualize the power of infrastructures to exploit. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. If you scale perfectly, you may have to envisioneer virtually. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our R&D but our capacity to redefine. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow elegantly. We will generate the ability of architectures to exploit. Imagine a combination of PNG and C++.