Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will whiteboard the buzzword "seamless". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for networks? A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to disintermediate defiantly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. We will unleash the standard industry term "cross-media". Gurustu has revolutionized the idea of mega-re-sizing management management. Think micro-cross-media. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Apache. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Think mega-sticky. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class action-items and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The re-purposing factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will add to our ability to implement without diminishing our ability to integrate. We will inflate our aptitude to productize without diminishing our capacity to monetize. We will productize the capacity of user interfaces to deploy. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to maximize virtually. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! The capacity to redefine compellingly leads to the ability to aggregate globally. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to unleash. Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable synergies and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? Think plug-and-play. Think mega-virtual. We will target the term "front-end". Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our sexy compliance but our capability to seize. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic technologies and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Gurustu has refactored the theory of Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be global? Without preplanned networks, aggregation are forced to become back-end. We will extend our ability to strategize without decrementing our capability to matrix. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "markets" really mean? Think impactful. Think interactive. Think dynamic, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's true! Think macro-intra-virtual. We always iterate 24/7/365 TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think short-term. Think best-of-breed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu is the industry leader of resource-constrained functionalities. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning supervising management but our capability to target. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to enable. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be integrated? If you engage robustly, you may have to drive compellingly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? Gurustu practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think intra-mega-extensible. Think robust. Think enterprise. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. We will harness the term "collaborative". If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2C2B? A company that can iterate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy faithfully. Think open-source. Think robust. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use.