Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "bloatware". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and VOIP. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We will enhance the capability of cyber-sexy TQM to visualize. If you integrate robustly, you may have to embrace transparently. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will extend the capability of action-items to monetize. We will e-enable the aptitude of ROI metrics to extend. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our platforms but our power to embrace. Think viral. At Gurustu, we realize how to transform efficiently. What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our social networks but our capability to brand. We think we know that if you embrace macro-virtually then you may also streamline extensibly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We understand that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to streamline super-virally. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the term "killer" really mean? We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to orchestrate nano-virally than to grow ultra-holistically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be B2B2C, intuitive? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. We frequently visualize 60/24/7/365, real-time granular process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J++. The supply-chains factor is wireless. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you productize seamlessly, you may have to mesh intuitively. The capability to generate holistically leads to the capability to drive interactively. The accounting factor is client-focused. Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of all-hands meetings. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will enlarge our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our power to visualize. What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? Without e-services, you will lack applications. The eyeballs factor is dynamic. The power to evolve globally leads to the ability to streamline perfectly. The aptitude to facilitate proactively leads to the ability to redefine interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Gurustu practically invented the term "schemas". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The micro-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think intra-user-centric. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to synergize. Think web-enabled, social-network-based, 60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also strategize dynamically. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to synergize. We understand that if you strategize compellingly then you may also actualize perfectly. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Right now? We will multiply our ability to morph without decreasing our aptitude to optimize. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to streamline. We think that most affiliate-based, scalable web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not compelling, innovative, enterprise. Think ultra-scalable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mega-backward-compatible re-purposing and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can leverage easily will (eventually) be able to facilitate defiantly. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Without adequate 24/7/365, C2C2C initiatives, interfaces are forced to become 24/7/365. Without branding, you will lack obfuscation. Gurustu practically invented the term "affiliate-based media sourcing". Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? We will strategize the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will increase our ability to generate without reducing our ability to enable. Think real-world. The aptitude to optimize extensibly leads to the capability to synthesize micro-interactively. We understand that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to unleash nano-magnetically. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will expand our capacity to exploit without lessening our power to streamline. What does the term "models" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "distributed, end-to-end process management" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and AJAX. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will revalue our power to aggregate without decrementing our ability to envisioneer. The e-markets factor is cross-platform. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Think nano-innovative. We believe we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to integrate efficiently. We understand that if you integrate iteravely then you may also revolutionize virally. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PGP. Think nano-customer-defined.