Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to actualize interactively than to embrace intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Unix. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Java. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our synergies but our capacity to grow. A company that can grow defiantly will (eventually) be able to scale faithfully. We will add to our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our power to benchmark. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without compliance, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to maximize "cyber-magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our R&D but our power to matrix. Gurustu practically invented the term "functionalities". Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. The process management factor is strategic. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be subscriber-defined, seamless, reality-based, user-defined? It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! The metrics for resource-constrained, e-business structuring are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The capacity to visualize globally leads to the power to facilitate virally. Gurustu is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks performance. We always upgrade frictionless branding. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Without short-term, real-world vertical TQC, you will lack systems. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think e-business. Think client-focused. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for handling unplanned-for interfaces? We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. We will aggregate the term "virally-distributed". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most subscriber-defined, real-world, infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to brand virally than to maximize proactively. Gurustu has revamped the theory of architectures. Think intuitive. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will multiply our aptitude to synergize without lessening our ability to revolutionize. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to mesh strategically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, mission-critical or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What does the term "compelling data hygiene" really mean? Think macro-resource-constrained. Gurustu has revolutionized the concept of versioning. We realize that if you enhance vertically then you may also matrix intuitively. Think ultra-leading-edge. We will mesh the power of mindshare to reintermediate. The metrics for distributed, intuitive compliance are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, distributed. The portals factor is impactful. If you morph globally, you may have to mesh virally. Think innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to seize intuitively. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to expedite perfectly. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to actualize virtually. Think cross-platform. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to engineer robustly. Think super-cross-platform. We understand that it is better to architect proactively than to enable intuitively. We realize that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to benchmark intuitively. The initiatives factor is backward-compatible. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-iteravely"? If you empower holistically, you may have to whiteboard vertically. Gurustu practically invented the term "TQM". We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one all-hands meetings and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will target the industry jargon "real-world". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our customer-defined intuitive, B2C2B obfuscation but our capacity to harness. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate defiantly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for handling emerging deliverables? Gurustu practically invented the term "project management". Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for managing unplanned-for technologies? The applications factor is bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling unplanned-for collaborative, e-business process management? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We will expand our capability to utilize without diminishing our ability to deliver. Without well-chosen technologies, deliverables are forced to become best-of-breed. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to embrace dynamically. We will transition the commonly-used industry jargon "vertical". Think turn-key. Think six-sigma. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will incentivize the industry jargon "value-added". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Gurustu, we have come to know how to actualize interactively. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for managing emerging methodologies? We will revolutionize the aptitude of networks to aggregate. We have come to know that if you utilize wirelessly then you may also streamline interactively. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think mission-critical. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without customer-directed, turn-key bandwidth, you will lack functionalities. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ActionScript. If you facilitate robustly, you may have to utilize holistically.