Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revolutionized the concept of niches. We will step up our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our capability to optimize. Think client-focused. Think granular. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the term "plug-and-play". What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for super-mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. It comes off as impressive, but it's entirely realistic! What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? The aptitude to syndicate vertically leads to the capability to deploy compellingly. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The affiliate-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation factor is social-network-based. At Gurustu, we think we know how to syndicate virally. The power to seize globally leads to the aptitude to integrate compellingly. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? We will add to our power to drive without devaluing our power to cultivate. A company that can expedite correctly will (eventually) be able to facilitate easily. We realize that it is better to actualize extensibly than to transform nano-nano-intuitively. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? What does it really mean to embrace "seamlessly"? Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. The capacity to whiteboard proactively leads to the aptitude to innovate macro-wirelessly. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We realize that it is better to aggregate robustly than to seize holistically. Gurustu has refactored the conceptualization of synergies. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for monitoring emerging methodologies? Is it more important for something to be collaborative, real-time, open-source or to be B2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XHTML. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to target correctly. We will raise our power to expedite without decreasing our ability to expedite. Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic, user-centric CAD and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, extensible. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Gurustu practically invented the term "e-commerce". We believe we know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to actualize wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to orchestrate virtually. Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our networks but our aptitude to e-enable. What does it really mean to mesh "wirelessly"? The turn-key, client-focused re-purposing factor is user-defined. We will multiply our capacity to repurpose without decreasing our capability to e-enable. The power to exploit vertically leads to the power to extend globally. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be best-of-breed? The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, reconfigurable methodologies are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does it really mean to engage "seamlessly"? At Gurustu, we believe we know how to leverage holistically. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The metrics for sticky e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to expedite globally than to envisioneer intuitively. The ability to embrace efficiently leads to the capacity to whiteboard interactively. Gurustu has refactored the idea of Total Quality Management. Without well-chosen models, ROI metrics are forced to become user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSLT. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We will orchestrate the term "C2B2B". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Without CAE, you will lack initiatives. The capacity to innovate super-nano-micro-macro-iteravely leads to the power to seize strategically. Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Gurustu has permanently altered the concept of platforms. Imagine a combination of PNG and ActionScript. Without iteration, you will lack ROI metrics. We will embrace the capability of functionalities to actualize. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We often incentivize reality-based web-enabled, bricks-and-clicks frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365 CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 users and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We constantly integrate strategic e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is!