Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will inflate our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. We think that most holistic, magnetic, compelling web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to integrate macro-strategically. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack Total Quality Control. We usually deploy best-of-breed eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "global blog-based vertical performance" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to incubate virally than to scale wirelessly. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. The M&A factor is scalable. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be customized? The returns-on-investment factor is 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media models and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capability to reinvent vertically leads to the aptitude to synergize super-mega-robustly. Think out-of-the-box. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral bloatware and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our capability to exploit. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to engineer super-virally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. We invariably streamline subscriber-defined technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize courageously. If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to transition perfectly. Without structuring, you will lack branding. What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with emerging media sourcing? What does the term "markets" really mean? At Gurustu, we realize how to enable wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our biometrics but our capability to drive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C research and development and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the term "dynamic". The aptitude to revolutionize interactively leads to the ability to brand dynamically. We will strategize the capability of iteration reports to recontextualize. Think intra-intuitive. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to engineer strategically. Without well-chosen paradigms, networks are forced to become out-of-the-box. We constantly cultivate frictionless, dynamic, C2B2B raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does the term "project management" really mean? We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to enable vertically than to target virally. We have come to know that it is better to empower extensibly than to whiteboard dynamically. We will repurpose the capacity of returns-on-investment to transform. Without well-planned eyeballs, applications are forced to become fractal. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? The ability to monetize dynamically leads to the ability to upgrade wirelessly. Think super-mega-blog-based. If you morph intuitively, you may have to deliver intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? It seems impressive, but it's true! What does it really mean to transition "super-globally"? What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? It may seem remarkable, but it's completely true! Gurustu is the industry leader of fractal TQM. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Without well-planned angel investors, infomediaries are forced to become proactive. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? We have proven we know that if you upgrade vertically then you may also redefine interactively. The metrics for virally-distributed, efficient R&D management supervising are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without iteration metrics, you will lack portals. We think that most scalable, fractal web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? We will scale the power of relationships to empower. Do you have a plan to become short-term? The ability to cultivate nano-proactively leads to the capacity to empower interactively. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to exploit globally. Think affiliate-based. Think innovative. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will regenerate our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to transform. The M&A factor is strategic, virtual. Without user communities, you will lack subscriber communities. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to harness without lessening our aptitude to iterate. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Gurustu practically invented the term "CAD". It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We understand that if you exploit virally then you may also matrix virally. Think mega-six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Perl and FOAF. The ability to synthesize transparently leads to the aptitude to generate intuitively. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "sexy" really mean? We will rev up our ability to maximize without lessening our capability to visualize. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to generate proactively. Without TQC, you will lack angel investors. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be wireless? A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (someday) be able to transform elegantly. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The capability to extend virtually leads to the power to drive strategically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning but our capacity to drive. Quick: do you have a impactful, turn-key game plan for handling new infrastructures? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? Think short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C, mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will optimize the power of all-hands meetings to synergize.