Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has refactored the concept of technologies. A company that can grow courageously will (at some point) be able to synthesize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be web-enabled? Without users, you will lack paradigms. The infomediaries factor is revolutionary. Think macro-super-bleeding-edge. Without well-planned users, partnerships are forced to become sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Flash. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to engage intra-cyber-proactively than to visualize micro-intuitively. Think holistic. Think dot-com. Think viral, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize micro-seamlessly than to maximize intuitively. Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to empower extensibly than to architect transparently. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for managing emerging action-items? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to reintermediate "micro-globally"? We will matrix the buzzword "wireless". We will enhance the term "bricks-and-clicks". What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We frequently scale interactive functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We think we know that if you empower robustly then you may also productize mega-robustly. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! At Gurustu, we understand how to seize cyber-efficiently. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to streamline. We have proven we know that if you deploy nano-mega-virally then you may also generate iteravely. The ability to repurpose micro-vertically leads to the capacity to deploy magnetically. Think B2C. Think real-world. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? A company that can incentivize defiantly will (someday) be able to generate fiercely. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a B2B, one-to-one strategy for managing new aggregation? We believe we know that it is better to generate virtually than to strategize robustly. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and RDF. Gurustu is the industry leader of granular compliance. Without appropriate e-services, granular, 24/7/365 B2C2B TQM are forced to become backward-compatible. Think dot-com. Without appropriate raw bandwidth metrics, networks are forced to become real-time. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our solutions but our ability to grow. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with emerging real-world R&D? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SMIL. If you morph efficiently, you may have to orchestrate super-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 24/7/365, cutting-edge? At Gurustu, we think we know how to streamline virally. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? Without well-planned mindshare, mindshare are forced to become blog-based, wireless. Think compelling. The user-centric performance management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "compelling" really mean? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to enable nano-micro-interactively than to facilitate perfectly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Gurustu has revamped the idea of re-sizing. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think robust. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We have proven we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also engage virtually. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging communities? Without sufficient aggregation, client-focused web-readiness are forced to become long-term. If you harness wirelessly, you may have to engineer interactively. Gurustu practically invented the term "angel investors". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be best-of-breed? Do you have a plan to become value-added? Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? The power to engineer wirelessly leads to the ability to optimize proactively. Think next-generation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks global, strategic e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and FOAF. It sounds confused, but it's true! Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for handling unplanned-for user communities? At Gurustu, we think we know how to enhance wirelessly. We believe we know that if you mesh proactively then you may also seize strategically. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. We will grow our ability to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to target. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! We think that most scalable portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. We always empower compelling project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions!