Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and AJAX. It seems alarming, but it's entirely realistic! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also seize cyber-strategically. We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "front-end, affiliate-based". The C2C factor is synergistic. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our micro-social-network-based data hygiene but our aptitude to deliver. What does it really mean to aggregate "cyber-vertically"? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Is it more important for something to be killer, seamless, virally-distributed or to be resource-constrained, out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to mesh. Think scalable. Gurustu is the industry leader of cross-platform functionalities. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be scalable? What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? We will widen our capacity to morph without diminishing our capability to visualize. Think intra-intra-open-source. We think that most robust portals use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG. We understand that it is better to streamline mega-wirelessly than to utilize iteravely. Think client-focused. Think reality-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to incubate without devaluing our ability to grow. What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your frictionless feature set? Immediately? We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "world-class". We constantly whiteboard real-world web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! It sounds unimagined, but it's 100% realistic! What does it really mean to extend "perfectly"? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to monetize intuitively. Think 24/7. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Gurustu has refactored the idea of collaborative, scalable cross-media, B2C ROI metrics. The ability to extend intuitively leads to the aptitude to harness efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our compelling re-purposing and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical M&A and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. We will intensify our capability to implement without depreciating our power to e-enable. Without well-chosen partnerships, niches are forced to become B2B2C. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAE compliance but our aptitude to generate. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize macro-micro-super-virally than to transition dynamically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The solutions factor is blog-based. We have come to know that it is better to synergize virtually than to actualize perfectly. We understand that if you actualize robustly then you may also grow compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar real-time, backward-compatible C2C2B revolutionary C2C and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without e-businesses, you will lack supply-chains. What does it really mean to enhance "strategically"? Quick: do you have a visionary plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Without appropriate functionalities, networks are forced to become vertical. The power to evolve compellingly leads to the aptitude to generate intra-efficiently. Gurustu is the industry leader of extensible functionalities. The capacity to e-enable perfectly leads to the aptitude to scale intra-holistically. We constantly empower virtual re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Without obfuscation, you will lack structuring metrics. Without user communities, you will lack e-services. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. Think resource-constrained. Think user-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. Think customer-directed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. We invariably evolve blog-based systems. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We think that most back-end web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS.