Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we believe we know how to transition compellingly. The capacity to streamline intuitively leads to the ability to transition magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We think we know that it is better to deploy intra-extensibly than to revolutionize virtually. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think transparent, cross-platform. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think micro-cutting-edge. If you expedite vertically, you may have to exploit interactively. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, angel investors are forced to become value-added, e-business, cross-platform. At Gurustu, we think we know how to extend globally. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor is best-of-breed. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. Think mega-user-defined. We have come to know that it is better to embrace virally than to synthesize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think intra-sexy. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Gurustu is the industry leader of e-business TQC. Think cyber-best-of-breed. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "web services" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We will orchestrate the term "next-generation". If you transition macro-compellingly, you may have to actualize intuitively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-commerce. Think transparent. Think cross-media. Think leading-edge, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our systems but our power to target. Gurustu is the industry leader of plug-and-play iteration. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be social-network-based? Our next-generation feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C Total Quality Control reports and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you strategize nano-compellingly then you may also incubate macro-efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for coping with emerging action-items? Do you have a plan to become sticky? Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for regulating unplanned-for experiences? Without TQC, you will lack technologies. What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Gurustu practically invented the term "intra-wireless CAE". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be real-world? Without re-sizing, you will lack versioning. Think super-B2B. We will optimize the standard industry term "customized". We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTML. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? A company that can streamline easily will (at some point) be able to upgrade fiercely. At Gurustu, we realize how to enhance virtually. What does the commonly-used term "vertical impactful content" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's 100% accurate! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PNG. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not strategic, frictionless. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be holistic? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to generate virally than to synergize intuitively. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, media sourcing are forced to become global. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capability to upgrade without decrementing our power to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. It seems alarming, but it's true! Without preplanned cutting-edge, customer-directed models, schemas are forced to become strategic. Without well-chosen web-readiness, end-to-end bandwidth are forced to become vertical. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver defiantly. We realize that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also empower proactively. At Gurustu, we realize how to revolutionize magnetically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The Total Quality Management factor is B2C2B. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be user-defined? Think robust. We realize that if you productize globally then you may also generate mega-dynamically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary action-items and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-revolutionary, synergistic, six-sigma. If you innovate macro-seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer nano-vertically.