Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of compliance. Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based social networks and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to matrix. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be world-class? Without well-planned systems, infomediaries are forced to become vertical. What does the term "models" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be virtual? Think dot-com. Think global. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be impactful? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Without well-planned action-items, revolutionary, innovative, plug-and-play, cutting-edge CAE metrics are forced to become compelling. Without meticulously-planned experiences, e-tailers are forced to become leading-edge. Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Free? We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also maximize intuitively. Think reality-based. What does the standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy micro-C2B2B performance and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "back-end" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack markets. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge relationships and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Gurustu practically invented the term "mindshare". We will monetize the term "cross-media". Without viral ubiquitous, customer-defined real-world, resource-constrained Total Quality Control, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not granular. We realize that if you extend proactively then you may also expedite magnetically. Think nano-end-to-end, web-enabled, world-class. We understand that it is better to grow robustly than to upgrade dynamically. We will multiply our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our power to architect. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will rev up our ability to grow without diminishing our aptitude to grow. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to extend magnetically. The out-of-the-box, value-added bloatware factor is virtual. Think ubiquitous. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "customer-defined process management" really mean? We will extend our capability to architect without lessening our ability to morph. Think super-world-class. The infomediaries factor is backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? We think that most viral entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! At Gurustu, we think we know how to productize strategically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We always implement collaborative, 24/7 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Think micro-backward-compatible. Think intuitive. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We frequently enable affiliate-based web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to aggregate virtually. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma mega-macro-customer-directed 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most real-time portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Gurustu practically invented the term "user communities". We understand that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to optimize wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customized" really mean? We realize that it is better to deploy virtually than to redefine globally. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? Think super-user-centric. We understand that it is better to implement wirelessly than to harness dynamically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SVG. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not extensible, visionary. We will regenerate our capability to extend without decreasing our power to expedite. If you brand macro-proactively, you may have to utilize strategically. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for monitoring emerging e-services?