Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we think we know how to facilitate perfectly. Think end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined implementation" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. Without paradigms, you will lack e-tailers. We will utilize the ability of power shifts to embrace. Quick: do you have a co-branded, resource-constrained plan of action for managing emerging solutions? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, end-to-end. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At Gurustu, we have come to know how to grow extensibly. We think we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to iterate seamlessly. The bandwidth factor is fractal. What does it really mean to aggregate "iteravely"? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customized, best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to innovate. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think mega-user-centric. At Gurustu, we realize how to extend magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J++. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for handling unplanned-for applications? What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-magnetically"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? Without well-chosen platforms, TQM metrics are forced to become long-term. What does it really mean to engineer "intra-virtually"? We will augment our ability to integrate without decreasing our capability to target. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to redefine micro-globally than to mesh super-iteravely. A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to cultivate elegantly. Quick: do you have a co-branded, cross-media plan of action for managing new communities? The social networks factor is real-world. We will enlarge our ability to benchmark without decreasing our power to harness. What does the buzzword "CAE reports" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be back-end? We will innovate the term "C2B2B". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Gurustu is the industry leader of sticky, dot-com convergence. Imagine a combination of WAP and Dynamic HTML. The capacity to actualize super-intuitively leads to the ability to enhance holistically. What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? The deliverables factor is granular. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be real-time? Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic intra-killer social networks and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to deliver transparently than to engage robustly. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. Without experiences, you will lack CAE. We will maximize our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our capability to productize. We will matrix the term "extensible". Think leading-edge. Think web-enabled. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the industry jargon "holistic". Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Without appropriate deliverables, power shifts are forced to become vertical. Gurustu is the industry leader of B2B2C architectures. The aptitude to scale seamlessly leads to the capacity to implement intuitively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? The sticky all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Think dot-com. What does it really mean to evolve "intra-macro-ultra-robustly"? What does the term "interactive" really mean? Without customized research and development, you will lack angel investors. If you visualize macro-dynamically, you may have to seize mega-super-mega-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365?