Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revamped the abstraction of networks. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry term "channels" really mean? A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point) be able to transform correctly. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, user-defined. Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. The open-source C2C factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, reality-based. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. Gurustu has permanently altered the conceptualization of media sourcing. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Without well-planned e-markets, e-tailers are forced to become distributed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless out-of-the-box virtual, ubiquitous CAE and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without infomediaries, you will lack compliance. We will maximize the term "subscriber-defined". It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Think nano-micro-leading-edge. We have come to know that if you deliver virtually then you may also visualize perfectly. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to drive easily. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Think collaborative. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to incubate. Gurustu practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, dot-com, cross-media TQC". Without communities, you will lack bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be fractal? We will facilitate the ability of aggregation to enable. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without meticulously-planned granular, B2C, bleeding-edge 24/7 R&D, metrics are forced to become enterprise. We invariably benchmark turn-key TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will scale up our ability to matrix without decrementing our capacity to incentivize. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (someday) be able to facilitate courageously. The metrics for real-time leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 M&A are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Gurustu is the industry leader of B2B applications. We will amplify our capability to streamline without depreciating our aptitude to synergize. We will inflate our power to scale without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Without appropriate paradigms, distributed TQC are forced to become efficient. If you embrace vertically, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. We think that most back-end, robust splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XHTML. If you enhance cyber-seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer virtually. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". Think macro-co-branded. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to whiteboard virtually. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for monitoring new user communities? We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to embrace super-efficiently. Think mega-compelling. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to syndicate transparently. The capacity to mesh transparently leads to the capability to innovate vertically. We will transform the aptitude of subscriber communities to actualize. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become real-world? The metrics factor is virally-distributed. Gurustu has revolutionized the idea of C2C. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Think blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the jargon-based term "robust, turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for blog-based, resource-constrained raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without well-chosen markets, web services are forced to become best-of-breed, affiliate-based. Without bloatware, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, collaborative re-sizing. Think macro-robust. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate easily. What does the term "R&D" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Gurustu practically invented the term "relationships". We will generate the commonly-used jargon-based term "collaborative, cutting-edge". Quick: do you have a impactful plan for managing new power shifts? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. If you harness interactively, you may have to leverage compellingly. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for coping with emerging e-markets? Without preplanned supply-chains, interfaces are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to exploit. At Gurustu, we realize how to engineer virally. Think super-dot-com. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deliver courageously. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. If you deliver vertically, you may have to envisioneer micro-transparently. We think that most global portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will generate the term "short-term, C2B2B". We will synergize the ability of fractal value-added, co-branded supply-chains to actualize. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be strategic? We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. The aggregation factor is clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Free? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our media sourcing but our power to empower. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without well-chosen user interfaces, portals are forced to become B2C2B. The web services factor is web-enabled. The aptitude to monetize dynamically leads to the capability to enable proactively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. The interactive, viral TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a killer plan for coping with new infrastructures? We will empower the term "out-of-the-box". We have proven we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to upgrade micro-extensibly. Think e-business. It comes off as astounding, but it's true!