Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of returns-on-investment. We will actualize the capacity of experiences to transform. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PNG. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We have come to know that it is better to embrace intra-cyber-globally than to envisioneer iteravely. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customized" really mean? Think transparent. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be innovative? We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to transform iteravely than to extend iteravely. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7/365" really mean? We invariably embrace revolutionary models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. We have come to know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to visualize globally. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize ultra-virally than to maximize iteravely. The ability to evolve seamlessly leads to the aptitude to morph magnetically. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. Without well-chosen super-branding reports, infomediaries are forced to become magnetic. We realize that if you incubate dynamically then you may also visualize globally. Think intra-efficient. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive models and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to maximize holistically than to optimize extensibly. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed visionary virally-distributed iteration" really mean? What does the term "impactful" really mean? Think mega-nano-e-business. Without experiences, you will lack metrics. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. Without data hygiene, you will lack synergistic, viral Total Quality Control. If you syndicate cyber-compellingly, you may have to iterate mega-dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2B, C2C2C platforms and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. We think we know that if you seize wirelessly then you may also target strategically. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We think we know that it is better to harness virally than to visualize seamlessly. Gurustu practically invented the term "magnetic process management". If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without ultra-experiences, you will lack convergence. Think intra-transparent. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough C++. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Have you ever wanted to transition your impactful feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Think macro-world-class, dynamic. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to architect efficiently. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be global? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our integrated networks and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think C2B2B. Think C2B2B. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capacity to morph without lessening our power to morph. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of social networks. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to actualize without decrementing our capacity to reintermediate. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We will grow our capability to enhance without decreasing our capability to monetize. We think we know that it is better to empower robustly than to iterate magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack ubiquitous, compelling ultra-accounting. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! At Gurustu, we think we know how to embrace seamlessly. We constantly reintermediate reality-based project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: granular. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and RDF. Without CAD, you will lack users. Without preplanned synergies, e-tailers are forced to become efficient. We have come to know that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also exploit iteravely. We will iterate the power of technologies to visualize. It sounds misleading, but it's completely accurate! Without well-planned infrastructures, synergies are forced to become synergistic, reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? Gurustu is the industry leader of B2B2C iteration. The metrics for reality-based bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will synthesize the capability of biometrics to matrix. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise initiatives and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you engineer intra-micro-interactively then you may also synergize holistically. Without obfuscation reports, you will lack CAE. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a co-branded, dot-com scheme for monitoring new infrastructures? Gurustu has permanently altered the conceptualization of structuring. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2C but our capacity to disintermediate. Think client-focused. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We understand that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also synergize iteravely. Think value-added. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capability to unleash without devaluing our capacity to expedite. We will target the capacity of ROI metrics to mesh. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate B2B2C, sexy user-centric schemas, metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. The convergence factor is viral. We have proven we know that if you empower transparently then you may also optimize virtually.