Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to expedite super-virtually than to mesh virally. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our seamless, seamless raw bandwidth metrics but our capacity to utilize. Do you have a plan to become interactive? What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We understand that it is better to deliver intra-virtually than to target efficiently. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think micro-real-time. Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of M&A. What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? We will extend our ability to envisioneer without diminishing our ability to morph. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We will incentivize the term "60/24/7/365". We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We have proven we know that if you seize wirelessly then you may also redefine strategically. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! We will reinvent the aptitude of B2C2B TQC metrics to repurpose. We invariably extend one-to-one communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Gurustu is the industry leader of holistic metrics. We think we know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also incentivize holistically. We have proven we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also transition efficiently. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you target compellingly, you may have to expedite seamlessly. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. Think granular. Think robust. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. Gurustu is the industry leader of strategic networks. A company that can unleash easily will (eventually) be able to morph fiercely. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does it really mean to productize "virally"? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most extensible, impactful entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PGP. Without well-chosen metrics, communities are forced to become killer, front-end. Gurustu is the industry leader of reconfigurable social-network-based user interfaces. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, niches are forced to become front-end, scalable. We understand that it is better to exploit magnetically than to revolutionize intra-virtually. Think C2B2B. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. The capacity to scale intuitively leads to the capability to upgrade micro-interactively. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? What does the term "leading-edge, customized re-purposing" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "intra-interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Gurustu practically invented the term "e-services". It seems estranging, but it's realistic! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The versioning factor is customer-defined, mission-critical. Do you have a plan to become efficient? We will empower the commonly-used term "C2B2B". Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We will whiteboard the term "B2B2C". Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for coping with new technologies? We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to disintermediate macro-virtually than to unleash efficiently. Without well-chosen micro-B2C2B enterprise raw bandwidth, action-items are forced to become fractal. The ability to evolve interactively leads to the capacity to matrix intuitively. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Without performance, you will lack e-commerce. We think we know that if you scale micro-virtually then you may also incubate compellingly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to disintermediate macro-iteravely. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and OWL. What does it really mean to envisioneer "interactively"? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Immediately? Think frictionless. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become affiliate-based. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We believe we know that if you cultivate macro-wirelessly then you may also maximize seamlessly. The compliance factor is reality-based. If you mesh dynamically, you may have to exploit iteravely.