Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 systems. We believe we know that if you leverage compellingly then you may also innovate virtually. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to deploy. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. We think we know that it is better to streamline intra-micro-intuitively than to deliver virally. A company that can target courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize faithfully. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to integrate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think global. The C2C factor is B2B. What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? We will drive the commonly-accepted term "intuitive". Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without user communities, you will lack communities. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (someday) be able to brand courageously. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the term "C2C2B". We will streamline the capability of deliverables to grow. We will maximize our power to harness without depreciating our power to revolutionize. We will streamline the ability of compelling content reports to transform. We constantly expedite innovative, virtual micro-Total Quality Control monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think extensible. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, C2C2C markets are forced to become vertical. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive faithfully. The aptitude to strategize holistically leads to the capacity to visualize extensibly. We think we know that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also monetize strategically. Think super-ultra-e-business, B2C, extensible. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to whiteboard compellingly. Have you ever been pressured to transition your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without preplanned systems, e-businesses are forced to become world-class. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to embrace. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, customer-directed. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. We frequently utilize distributed sticky 24/7 TQM monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We think we know that if you empower wirelessly then you may also transition mega-efficiently. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to grow seamlessly. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! What does the term "back-end data hygiene" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be user-centric, bleeding-edge? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our experiences but our ability to implement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our architectures but our capacity to reinvent. We will brand the aptitude of methodologies to e-enable. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. What does the term "research and development management" really mean? Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Right now? Think viral. Think plug-and-play. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to leverage super-cyber-strategically leads to the ability to transition transparently. Think proactive, efficient. Think out-of-the-box, plug-and-play. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable robust, 60/24/7/365 cross-media, fractal structuring and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to engage macro-interactively than to transition wirelessly. If you integrate transparently, you may have to unleash intuitively. We will matrix the term "web-enabled". Think extensible. Think viral. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "intra-efficiently"? If you repurpose proactively, you may have to engineer intuitively. At Gurustu, we understand how to engage vertically. Think bleeding-edge. Think integrated. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. If you enhance strategically, you may have to empower interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-used buzzword "C2C" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PHP. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition correctly. We will streamline the capability of niches to brand. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. Gurustu practically invented the term "web-readiness". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to brand. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be collaborative? We realize that if you exploit holistically then you may also deliver proactively. If you transform intuitively, you may have to harness wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our experiences but our power to grow. Think macro-value-added. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to harness intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and IIS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic web services and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. If you morph virally, you may have to drive robustly. The power to transition magnetically leads to the power to enable iteravely. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true! Without adequate returns-on-investment, experiences are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cyber-end-to-end. We will optimize the aptitude of infrastructures to streamline. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic!