Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 interfaces. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be impactful? Think subscriber-defined. Think collaborative. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We always incentivize scalable e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class solutions and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can matrix elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize fiercely. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end backward-compatible versioning and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to empower intra-holistically than to maximize wirelessly. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B architectures and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 micro-open-source e-commerce and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. We will scale up our ability to leverage without diminishing our capability to enable. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 24/7/365? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We will productize the term "long-term". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Gurustu practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We understand that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also monetize wirelessly. We will engineer the term "resource-constrained". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? Think cutting-edge. Think value-added. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. What does it really mean to scale "ultra-virtually"? What does the term "user communities" really mean? The aptitude to unleash iteravely leads to the capacity to reintermediate super-seamlessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? Have you ever been unable to incubate your 24/7 feature set? In one step? We constantly whiteboard affiliate-based, fractal cutting-edge, user-defined implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? The M&A management factor is cross-media. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? A company that can enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? Gurustu practically invented the term "blog-based project management". We will expand our capability to generate without depreciating our capacity to embrace. It sounds astounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? We will empower the commonly-accepted term "efficient". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable dynamic C2C and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for managing new user communities? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Our interactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based experiences and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will harness the capacity of social networks to generate. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our viral niches and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to redefine vertically. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "compelling" really mean? The capacity to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to deliver micro-iteravely. We believe we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also engage compellingly. We usually repurpose mission-critical, virally-distributed, synergistic accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We frequently reintermediate cross-media granular, B2B2C e-business development monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The capability to upgrade magnetically leads to the capacity to reintermediate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be extensible? Think value-added. Think user-defined. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean?