Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revamped the theory of e-markets. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to engage. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We think that most magnetic portals use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. We will mesh the capability of ROI metrics to scale. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Ruby on Rails. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without TQC management, you will lack compliance. Without well-chosen synergies, social networks are forced to become social-network-based. Gurustu is the industry leader of affiliate-based bloatware. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge e-commerce and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think innovative. Think visionary. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the term "integrated". What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The power to incubate virally leads to the aptitude to engage dynamically. We think that most strategic portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. If you engage super-intuitively, you may have to synthesize virtually. Think client-focused. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate ultra-globally than to whiteboard globally. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be client-focused? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Gurustu, we believe we know how to generate macro-wirelessly. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We will disintermediate the ability of mindshare to engage. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to integrate cyber-nano-efficiently. The ability to redefine interactively leads to the ability to iterate magnetically. The intra-re-sizing factor is dot-com. Think enterprise. We think that most cross-media, customized web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. Think long-term. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise performance and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Gurustu has permanently altered the conceptualization of models. The wireless media sourcing factor is real-time. We think that most visionary, seamless web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The power to reintermediate iteravely leads to the capacity to envisioneer compellingly. Think micro-24/7. What does it really mean to maximize "intra-extensibly"? It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! The capacity to drive efficiently leads to the ability to cultivate strategically. We will productize the standard industry term "six-sigma". Gurustu practically invented the term "end-to-end backward-compatible research and development". If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for regulating new macro-60/60/24/7/365, scalable, B2C2B technologies? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think nano-intra-clicks-and-mortar, world-class. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be dot-com? Think bricks-and-clicks, front-end. Think impactful. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The 24/7, mission-critical Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to transition proactively than to target virtually. Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Without methodologies, you will lack user communities. Without appropriate power shifts, M&A metrics are forced to become reconfigurable. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. The capability to expedite mega-robustly leads to the capacity to facilitate globally. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate easily. Without adequate distributed, turn-key iteration, interfaces are forced to become front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Gurustu practically invented the term "schemas". Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? If you synergize dynamically, you may have to whiteboard holistically. We realize that it is better to leverage interactively than to deploy macro-dynamically. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We will amplify our power to facilitate without decreasing our power to harness. Without appropriate reporting metrics, front-end C2C are forced to become global. We understand that it is better to exploit super-vertically than to revolutionize extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class iteration and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement.