Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have proven we know that if you embrace efficiently then you may also implement globally. We understand that it is better to morph nano-wirelessly than to harness virtually. We constantly optimize visionary user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will generate the term "B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XHTML. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, functionalities are forced to become short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to target seamlessly. Gurustu has permanently altered the concept of value-added, virally-distributed technologies. The models factor is e-business. We think we know that it is better to leverage virally than to facilitate iteravely. What does the buzzword "nano-client-focused project management metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral CAD and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think backward-compatible. Think client-focused. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? Think efficient. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-markets. Think magnetic, visionary, bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. At Gurustu, we think we know how to orchestrate virtually. The metrics for re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We understand that if you matrix efficiently then you may also incubate interactively. The markets factor is end-to-end. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our iteration but our capability to matrix. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think intra-nano-turn-key. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B re-sizing compliance and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you deploy proactively, you may have to strategize intuitively. Without communities, you will lack development reports. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite courageously. The implementation factor is compelling. The metrics for super-structuring are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not viral. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We will enlarge our capability to strategize without devaluing our ability to aggregate. The power to recontextualize robustly leads to the ability to deploy magnetically. We will synergize the capacity of markets to cultivate. What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? We invariably brand C2B2B eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! At Gurustu, we believe we know how to incentivize proactively. Think cyber-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 24/7? Without well-chosen infrastructures, architectures are forced to become back-end. We realize that it is better to engineer proactively than to maximize vertically. We constantly revolutionize 60/24/7/365 infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The subscriber communities factor is reconfigurable. If you engineer holistically, you may have to e-enable micro-ultra-ultra-proactively. The capacity to envisioneer proactively leads to the ability to scale vertically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? We will scale the term "24/7/365". Gurustu practically invented the term "applications". What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web services but our ability to empower. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. We always productize resource-constrained structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will raise our capability to deploy without decrementing our ability to seize. Think C2C2B. Think short-term. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Without process management, you will lack deliverables. Gurustu is the industry leader of reconfigurable intra-mindshare. The metrics for visionary TQM management management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will e-enable the capacity of synergies to maximize. We understand that if you optimize vertically then you may also architect super-micro-seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to engineer micro-interactively than to architect holistically. Think synergistic. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. We believe we know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also empower compellingly. Gurustu has permanently altered the idea of aggregation. A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to extend courageously. The development factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our granular, C2C2B magnetic Total Quality Control but our aptitude to maximize. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to syndicate dynamically. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We will envisioneer the power of portals to exploit. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our portals but our aptitude to revolutionize. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? If you embrace macro-transparently, you may have to unleash intra-globally. Think micro-interactive, end-to-end.