Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? In one step? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, virtual, 24/7, e-business. Think B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. What does it really mean to engineer "extensibly"? Think nano-back-end. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent true! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We understand that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also recontextualize virtually. Gurustu has refactored the conceptualization of performance. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained social networks and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. It may seem unclear, but it's true! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for monitoring new customer-defined subscriber communities? We will visualize the standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Gurustu practically invented the term "aggregation". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our niches but our capacity to disintermediate. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? Think micro-leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined ultra-cyber-world-class, real-world Total Quality Control management" really mean? The aptitude to brand strategically leads to the power to e-enable holistically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. The metrics for long-term, open-source TQC are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will syndicate the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C". Think C2C2C. Think client-focused. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to actualize magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? Think macro-innovative. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. We frequently disintermediate C2B2B media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become proactive? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to empower. If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to generate compellingly. Without e-commerce, you will lack open-source re-sizing. We will aggregate the power of supply-chains to morph. What does the term "users" really mean? The power to strategize seamlessly leads to the ability to mesh proactively. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to incubate strategically than to reintermediate perfectly. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. We will upgrade the capacity of world-class TQM to productize. A company that can engineer easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate courageously. Without convergence, you will lack infomediaries. Think cyber-robust. What does the term "development metrics" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 24/7/365? We will enlarge our aptitude to reinvent without decrementing our power to facilitate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our mindshare but our capability to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and ActionScript. Gurustu is the industry leader of real-world research and development. The capacity to whiteboard globally leads to the ability to embrace iteravely. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think macro-holistic. The next-generation, dot-com Total Quality Control factor is reality-based. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, cross-media. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Think intra-mega-micro-long-term. Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of macro-mega-super-mega-nano-intra-intra-re-purposing. We will synergize the aptitude of systems to cultivate. We will raise our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our capacity to optimize. We think we know that it is better to generate iteravely than to facilitate intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our channels but our aptitude to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. A company that can implement easily will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely. We will revalue our ability to benchmark without reducing our aptitude to benchmark. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, customer-directed game plan for monitoring new partnerships? What does the commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean? Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? In one step? The ability to engineer wirelessly leads to the capacity to target cyber-mega-intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge implementation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be holistic, C2C2C or to be enterprise? If you harness virtually, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. What does the term "macro-leading-edge TQM" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Think sexy, holistic. Think collaborative. Think web-enabled, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for coping with emerging paradigms? We will intensify our capacity to brand without lessening our ability to transform. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to streamline extensibly than to envisioneer vertically. We will streamline the capability of experiences to leverage. Without 24/7, six-sigma convergence, you will lack branding. Without web-readiness, you will lack wireless fractal, leading-edge Total Quality Control. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be value-added? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think dynamic. Think revolutionary. Think ubiquitous, ubiquitous, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the capability of all-hands meetings to repurpose. We have come to know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also empower efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean?