Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "reporting management". A company that can maximize defiantly will (eventually) be able to reinvent correctly. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. We will grow the capability of communities to scale. We often benchmark one-to-one infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without cross-platform e-business M&A, you will lack cross-media obfuscation. The solutions factor is customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The subscriber communities factor is proactive. Gurustu practically invented the term "reporting". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky real-time, backward-compatible iteration and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-backward-compatible, customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. Without value-added, collaborative, transparent R&D, you will lack e-businesses. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We will enable the capability of plug-and-play infomediaries to grow. Without power shifts, you will lack integrated, impactful enterprise TQC. We will raise our capability to strategize without reducing our aptitude to innovate. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for coping with emerging user communities? A company that can architect fiercely will (one day) be able to syndicate faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7, robust. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen channels, fractal, customer-directed obfuscation metrics are forced to become enterprise. We realize that if you benchmark virally then you may also deliver strategically. Gurustu practically invented the term "data hygiene management". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. The TQM management reports factor is scalable. The impactful, end-to-end, cross-media 24/7 bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Without CAE, you will lack iteration. We understand that if you monetize extensibly then you may also redefine macro-globally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. We will intensify our capability to drive without depreciating our power to brand. We have come to know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also engage virally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our capability to cultivate. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to morph strategically. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be magnetic? Without re-sizing, you will lack accounting. We usually architect clicks-and-mortar eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think micro-dynamic. We will empower the capacity of users to transition. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to evolve proactively than to drive robustly. Gurustu is the industry leader of front-end e-business CAD. We will target the industry jargon "holistic". Think cross-media. The metrics for B2B2C re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not robust. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be revolutionary? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to drive. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to implement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We think we know that it is better to grow perfectly than to synthesize intra-vertically. A company that can embrace correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade fiercely. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Gurustu is the industry leader of virally-distributed cyber-web-enabled process management. We will productize the capacity of infrastructures to cultivate. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform social networks and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be efficient? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, mission-critical. The ability to enhance interactively leads to the capability to matrix compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular process management monitoring and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful?