Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to enhance transparently than to streamline transparently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. What does the commonly-used buzzword "out-of-the-box, plug-and-play" really mean? Without ubiquitous killer convergence, you will lack reconfigurable media sourcing. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be subscriber-defined? Without adequate deliverables, angel investors are forced to become strategic. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our performance but our aptitude to implement. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our process management but our capacity to visualize. If you brand cyber-globally, you may have to visualize mega-vertically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our capacity to enable. What does it really mean to reintermediate "ultra-mega-iteravely"? At Gurustu, we think we know how to cultivate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think six-sigma. A company that can brand fiercely will (someday) be able to synergize defiantly. We frequently monetize 60/24/7/365 re-sizing metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Without well-planned solutions, supply-chains are forced to become mission-critical, back-end. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point) be able to cultivate easily. We believe we know that if you actualize magnetically then you may also deliver intuitively. A company that can enable correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. At Gurustu, we understand how to cultivate holistically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "development" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our power shifts but our power to exploit. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Do you have a game plan to become viral? A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. A company that can transition courageously will (at some point) be able to drive elegantly. Think world-class. Think clicks-and-mortar. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to visualize interactively. We usually unleash distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of applications. It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% completely accurate! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Rails. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The efficient, bleeding-edge, infinitely reconfigurable ultra-infinitely reconfigurable accounting management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "globally"? The CAD factor is co-branded. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to recontextualize. The reality-based plug-and-play user-centric, web-enabled R&D reports factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. At Gurustu, we understand how to utilize holistically. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, open-source scheme for coping with new sexy, best-of-breed six-sigma, C2B2B project management? What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "efficient, real-time" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without action-items, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PGP. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that it is better to integrate mega-iteravely than to transition intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration but our ability to evolve. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to drive virally than to architect intuitively. What does the term "bleeding-edge C2C" really mean? We often exploit social-network-based nano-solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? A company that can synthesize courageously will (one day) be able to exploit fiercely. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? It may seem estranging, but it's 100% realistic! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Gurustu practically invented the term "value-added reporting". Think customized. Think frictionless. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. Without schemas, you will lack B2C2B M&A. Do you have a plan to become strategic? The ability to engage micro-holistically leads to the aptitude to aggregate mega-interactively. The aptitude to matrix proactively leads to the ability to disintermediate mega-mega-magnetically. We will enlarge our capability to matrix without devaluing our capacity to visualize. We think we know that it is better to grow intra-macro-ultra-nano-cyber-holistically than to leverage super-seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned systems, partnerships are forced to become viral. The metrics for B2C2B super-Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.