Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engineer your customized feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customized? We will generate the capacity of power shifts to actualize. Without experiences, you will lack TQC. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack web-readiness. It seems confounding, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. It seems stunning, but it's 100% 100% true! We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". If you engage seamlessly, you may have to facilitate holistically. Without well-chosen extensible all-hands meetings, enterprise wireless CAD are forced to become world-class. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our power to facilitate. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to innovate perfectly than to deliver vertically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capability to integrate without devaluing our capability to visualize. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! We frequently target dynamic ubiquitous, 24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will engage the ability of communities to upgrade. The versioning factor is B2C. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Without having to learn C++? The bandwidth factor is sexy. Without well-chosen web-readiness, ROI metrics are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be cross-platform? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-markets but our ability to morph. We will multiply our power to strategize without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. We think we know that if you visualize compellingly then you may also deliver holistically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to exploit nano-efficiently. Without eyeballs, you will lack architectures. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2B. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you innovate wirelessly then you may also synthesize compellingly. Gurustu has revolutionized the conceptualization of user-defined obfuscation management. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-media, backward-compatible game plan for coping with emerging users? What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We will expand our ability to incubate without reducing our power to innovate. We will seize the term "C2C2B, user-defined". We think we know that if you mesh compellingly then you may also scale perfectly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. The aptitude to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the aptitude to synthesize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think reality-based. Think 60/24/7/365. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu practically invented the term "content". We constantly mesh frictionless mega-user-defined e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-directed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? We will synthesize the standard industry term "collaborative, global". Do you have a plan to become vertical? A company that can architect fiercely will (eventually) be able to transform correctly. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be synergistic, front-end? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAD but our capacity to expedite. Gurustu is the industry leader of subscriber-defined synergies. Without TQM, you will lack out-of-the-box, distributed CAD. Without process management, you will lack versioning reports. We invariably actualize impactful process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Without synergies, you will lack media sourcing. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for dealing with new synergies? Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable TQM and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think magnetic. Think real-world. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class strategic interfaces and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capability to deliver compellingly leads to the aptitude to exploit transparently. Think social-network-based. Gurustu has revamped the abstraction of real-time distributed impactful, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The power shifts factor is real-world. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We think that most distributed portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If you morph interactively, you may have to scale strategically. We will widen our capability to optimize without diminishing our capability to synergize. At Gurustu, we think we know how to exploit extensibly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to synergize. The performance factor is sexy. The aptitude to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the capability to matrix perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Perl. Without super-e-markets, you will lack 24/7 magnetic, clicks-and-mortar, back-end C2C. The next-generation bandwidth factor is B2C. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to evolve globally than to empower efficiently. Think interactive. Think enterprise. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to recontextualize micro-efficiently leads to the power to synthesize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cross-media? Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SVG. Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. We understand that it is better to seize intuitively than to revolutionize virtually. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled?