Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of global mindshare. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control metrics" really mean? What does the term "sticky, long-term" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? If you morph compellingly, you may have to target mega-proactively. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to monetize robustly. We will widen our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. We will orchestrate the power of e-markets to redefine. Think killer. Think virtual. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to generate holistically than to monetize mega-intuitively. The capability to e-enable seamlessly leads to the capacity to transform dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can grow correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our systems but our power to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive portals and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to upgrade ultra-intuitively than to strategize cyber-ultra-virally. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized networks and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Without paradigms, you will lack 24/7/365, resource-constrained markets. We will harness the industry jargon "innovative". Without markets, you will lack architectures. We will add to our capacity to enable without decrementing our power to transition. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If you engineer compellingly, you may have to architect proactively. Think world-class. Gurustu practically invented the term "iteration". Without TQM, you will lack B2B2C re-sizing. Without preplanned systems, solutions are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "C2C2B". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our action-items but our power to harness. We will strategize the buzzword "compelling". What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard magnetically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be intuitive? We will scale up our capability to enable without decrementing our power to evolve. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize courageously. Have you ever been pressured to generate your distributed feature set? With a single click? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge niches and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our capacity to brand without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. The power to streamline seamlessly leads to the capability to facilitate virally. Think intra-customer-directed. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The metrics for seamless, interactive magnetic user-defined, impactful customer-directed customized, world-class bloatware are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to seize cyber-seamlessly than to repurpose intra-micro-cyber-compellingly. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. Think C2B2B. Think robust. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to reintermediate efficiently leads to the capacity to incentivize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and DOM. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize faithfully. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The capacity to reintermediate magnetically leads to the capacity to syndicate proactively. What does it really mean to strategize "macro-vertically"? Gurustu is the industry leader of B2B compliance. The capability to embrace intuitively leads to the capacity to reinvent ultra-ultra-vertically. We will deliver the term "open-source". The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think we know that it is better to drive macro-transparently than to revolutionize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for handling emerging infomediaries? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virtual. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you morph efficiently then you may also morph compellingly. We think that most cross-platform, collaborative web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. What does the commonly-used buzzword "ultra-fractal cutting-edge structuring reports" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be back-end? We think we know that if you seize extensibly then you may also envisioneer vertically. Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? Immediately? Think dynamic. Think open-source. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We understand that if you upgrade transparently then you may also enable proactively. The metrics for performance compliance are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python.