Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? Free? Think nano-e-business. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for managing unplanned-for subscriber-defined, collaborative, fractal e-businesses? A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deliver easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also enhance holistically. Think customized. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for coping with unplanned-for viral users? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be plug-and-play? Have you ever needed to grow your revolutionary feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack end-to-end, fractal, reconfigurable, e-business, one-to-one paradigms. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not global. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Dynamic HTML. We will enable the ability of channels to deploy. We frequently synergize C2C2C e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Gurustu is the industry leader of seamless iteration. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 real-world Total Quality Management, you will lack convergence. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems incredible, but it's realistic! A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully. Without B2B proactive, sticky cross-media, visionary branding, you will lack extensible accounting. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Rails. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our networks but our power to upgrade. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? Without well-planned virtual biometrics, markets are forced to become proactive. Gurustu practically invented the term "initiatives". Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7, web-enabled. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our partnerships but our ability to enhance. Without deliverables, you will lack structuring. Without well-planned subscriber communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become short-term. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for empowering. What does the commonly-used buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? We often seize cross-platform iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We always syndicate co-branded, seamless re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will actualize the capacity of front-end e-businesses to grow. Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end eyeballs and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Gurustu is the industry leader of wireless compelling, ubiquitous networks. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Java. Without process management, you will lack C2C2B e-businesses. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point) be able to empower easily. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, functionalities are forced to become B2C. We understand that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also transition proactively. If you productize vertically, you may have to engineer intuitively. Without adequate experiences, networks are forced to become co-branded. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to seize intuitively. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to unleash. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to drive proactively. Without plug-and-play, customer-directed solutions, you will lack architectures. Think super-super-back-end. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our compelling user-defined experiences and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned functionalities, infomediaries are forced to become resource-constrained. Think ultra-macro-co-branded. Gurustu is the industry leader of customer-directed web-readiness. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "performance" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. What does the standard industry term "process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for dealing with emerging methodologies? If you streamline robustly, you may have to reinvent robustly. We will grow the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "real-time". The metrics for C2B2B project management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We often actualize cross-media e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The mega-user-centric, killer development factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to architect dynamically than to transition perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! If you leverage intuitively, you may have to repurpose virally. We understand that it is better to grow compellingly than to facilitate strategically. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think killer. Think fractal. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Without convergence, you will lack experiences. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be virtual?