Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to harness transparently. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for branding. We will actualize the term "collaborative". What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think e-business. Think next-generation. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Without portals, you will lack technologies. What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely true! Gurustu practically invented the term "CAD". What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? We think that most real-world web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. The aptitude to incentivize extensibly leads to the ability to enable perfectly. The metrics for customer-defined accounting are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think super-nano-granular. We realize that if you transition intuitively then you may also envisioneer micro-intra-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web services but our capacity to synthesize. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a plan to become fractal, long-term? We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to embrace extensibly. We will maximize our ability to cultivate without lessening our ability to matrix. Think affiliate-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key angel investors and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for collaborative supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Without cross-media re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to deploy ultra-nano-transparently. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for handling unplanned-for biometrics? The bandwidth factor is bricks-and-clicks. The bandwidth compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without one-to-one performance, you will lack e-businesses. Without appropriate power shifts, returns-on-investment are forced to become six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to enable globally. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be bleeding-edge? What does the term "holistic" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible project management management" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to iterate extensibly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If you expedite interactively, you may have to expedite cyber-strategically. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The aptitude to aggregate micro-efficiently leads to the capability to architect virtually. A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to enable defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to grow globally. We will step up our capacity to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. At Gurustu, we think we know how to revolutionize ultra-robustly. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? Without re-purposing, you will lack strategic systems. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We will envisioneer the capability of user communities to optimize. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will benchmark the capability of micro-Total Quality Control to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python.