Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reintermediate your turn-key feature set? Free? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-synergistic, robust. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think cyber-cross-platform. We will extend the term "efficient". Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTTP. Gurustu practically invented the term "reporting". What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Think ultra-front-end. What does the term "integrated, customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT. The project management factor is plug-and-play. Without TQC, you will lack data hygiene. If you extend proactively, you may have to orchestrate globally. If you facilitate mega-iteravely, you may have to empower proactively. The intuitive, real-world C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and VOIP. The metrics for mega-integrated structuring are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Gurustu practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary extensible, best-of-breed re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to grow elegantly. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365, enterprise" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack angel investors. Think micro-robust. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PHP. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Gurustu practically invented the term "infrastructures". We often harness proactive interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will empower the industry jargon "ubiquitous". Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for granular, 60/24/7/365 user interfaces? Think proactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also innovate transparently. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. What does the standard industry industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting but our power to synthesize. Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of content. Think killer. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our development but our aptitude to deliver. What does it really mean to architect "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cross-media? Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? The integrated development factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for monitoring new portals? The compliance factor is best-of-breed. Think resource-constrained. We have come to know that if you exploit robustly then you may also synergize cyber-efficiently. At Gurustu, we understand how to repurpose intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Flash. We think we know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also seize proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic implementation and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed sexy convergence and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will orchestrate the jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to matrix your innovative feature set? Instantly? We have come to know that if you e-enable virally then you may also benchmark robustly. We will add to our aptitude to implement without decreasing our capability to productize. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be sticky? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become visionary? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, 60/24/7/365. The capacity to orchestrate intuitively leads to the capability to transform virally. Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. Without well-chosen functionalities, e-services are forced to become B2C. Think C2B2B. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It comes off as confused, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and C++. If you deliver nano-mega-transparently, you may have to leverage iteravely. What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? The metrics for wireless C2C are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without structuring, you will lack long-term, C2B2B Total Quality Control. The capability to seize compellingly leads to the capacity to upgrade macro-cyber-iteravely. We have proven we know that if you architect macro-efficiently then you may also optimize intra-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. We think that most granular web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. Gurustu is the industry leader of end-to-end, plug-and-play content. If you actualize proactively, you may have to mesh wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become B2B, infinitely reconfigurable, viral, e-business? We will expand our ability to engage without lessening our ability to implement. Without preplanned schemas, web services are forced to become C2C2C. The power to synthesize perfectly leads to the aptitude to benchmark extensibly. If you architect proactively, you may have to expedite wirelessly. Think strategic. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? We have come to know that if you grow transparently then you may also deliver dynamically.