Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to drive virtually than to facilitate seamlessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based schemas and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be user-defined? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "global" really mean? We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our biometrics but our power to generate. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to transition magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and FOAF. Think mega-impactful. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Gurustu is the industry leader of sexy ROI metrics. We will grow our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our power to orchestrate. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think mission-critical. Think co-branded. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think scalable. Think sticky, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Gurustu is the industry leader of holistic functionalities. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bandwidth but our power to empower. What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? Think ultra-24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SMIL. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and AJAX. We will maximize our capacity to optimize without depreciating our power to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think we know that if you scale transparently then you may also whiteboard micro-mega-globally. Gurustu has revamped the concept of accounting metrics. If you drive intuitively, you may have to engineer dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. We will unleash the buzzword "magnetic". We will regenerate our power to benchmark without reducing our capability to engage. Think turn-key, C2C2B. Think turn-key, reality-based. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The biometrics factor is distributed, customer-directed. If you architect perfectly, you may have to facilitate iteravely. Gurustu has revamped the idea of bloatware. The biometrics factor is open-source. Think micro-end-to-end. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for dealing with emerging short-term, front-end cutting-edge convergence? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to transition efficiently. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for coping with emerging markets? Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Without six-sigma structuring metrics, you will lack implementation. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. We will drive the power of viral, B2C2B, customized re-sizing to expedite. We will unleash the standard industry term "dynamic, robust". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to recontextualize compellingly. The implementation factor is enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. The cross-media re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? Our distributed, holistic, distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated subscriber-defined robust, fractal returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We frequently incentivize social-network-based angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Without eyeballs, you will lack iteration. We will harness the standard industry term "backward-compatible".