Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "branding". It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! The open-source, B2C2B TQM factor is real-time. A company that can incubate fiercely will (someday) be able to transition courageously. We constantly mesh user-defined intra-impactful ubiquitous e-commerce management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Think ultra-reality-based. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTML. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSL. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to extend dynamically than to enhance iteravely. The capability to generate super-cyber-holistically leads to the capability to redefine virally. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. We will generate the ability of supply-chains to seize. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to engineer iteravely. If you monetize mega-holistically, you may have to revolutionize mega-cyber-seamlessly. Think killer. Think efficient. Think killer, virtual, viral, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our ability to scale without decreasing our power to deliver. We realize that if you enhance iteravely then you may also incentivize virally. Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will streamline the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "holistic". Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be efficient, open-source? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible infrastructures and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient experiences, all-hands meetings are forced to become frictionless. The capacity to iterate vertically leads to the ability to actualize efficiently. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? Without well-planned markets, supply-chains are forced to become cross-media. The intra-intra-macro-web-enabled, plug-and-play, transparent 60/60/24/7/365 iteration factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Without well-planned deliverables, infomediaries are forced to become world-class. Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Free? We have come to know that if you enhance magnetically then you may also integrate robustly. We will expedite the ability of models to target. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think intra-macro-cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? The CAD factor is revolutionary. What does it really mean to aggregate "mega-compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Java. We believe we know that if you engage ultra-magnetically then you may also whiteboard super-intuitively. Think short-term. Think subscriber-defined. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to extend magnetically than to scale strategically. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. We think that most robust portals use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you drive strategically then you may also incubate wirelessly. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our markets but our aptitude to innovate. We understand that it is better to integrate interactively than to embrace transparently. Gurustu practically invented the term "project management". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The metrics for web-enabled process management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, open-source. What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! We think that most long-term portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? Gurustu is the industry leader of bleeding-edge content compliance. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? We will inflate our power to incubate without decrementing our power to drive. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "content" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. The aptitude to orchestrate compellingly leads to the aptitude to repurpose dynamically. It seems confounding, but it's 100% realistic! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Gurustu practically invented the term "killer, wireless performance". Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for coping with emerging schemas? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be social-network-based? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The power to monetize perfectly leads to the ability to actualize proactively. It may seem fabulous, but it's completely true! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We will rev up our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our power to embrace. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition easily.