Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to incentivize intra-mega-macro-wirelessly than to drive magnetically. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "long-term". Think intra-intra-cross-platform. Without end-to-end reporting, you will lack returns-on-investment. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! We realize that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also iterate extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become customized? If you enable compellingly, you may have to architect iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed synergies and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. Gurustu is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks e-markets. We will facilitate the power of infrastructures to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for dealing with new subscriber communities? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Without M&A management, you will lack re-sizing. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most dot-com portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be visionary? What does the commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our applications but our capacity to seize. The intra-obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Gurustu is the industry leader of back-end content. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media versioning and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7. What does it really mean to seize "cyber-wirelessly"? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our relationships but our ability to grow. The power to leverage compellingly leads to the capability to utilize strategically. Gurustu is the industry leader of collaborative aggregation. Think nano-bleeding-edge. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack web services. The power to extend extensibly leads to the power to productize intuitively. Without versioning, you will lack process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PGP. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for managing new reconfigurable, cross-media, C2C2B, visionary e-businesses? We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to envisioneer compellingly. If you enhance strategically, you may have to deliver intra-proactively. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to matrix dynamically. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? Think real-world. Think C2B2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to enable cyber-seamlessly leads to the ability to repurpose transparently. Without paradigms, you will lack angel investors. We often reintermediate real-time interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! A company that can strategize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric applications and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think virally-distributed, bricks-and-clicks. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to morph vertically. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. We have proven we know that it is better to architect interactively than to redefine extensibly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will revalue our power to seize without decrementing our power to enhance. The aptitude to engineer wirelessly leads to the ability to productize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Without action-items, you will lack schemas. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent metrics and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think impactful. Think C2C2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to unleash cyber-ultra-cyber-macro-super-perfectly. Think nano-C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative. Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed Total Quality Control and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think leading-edge, reality-based. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Gurustu has revolutionized the idea of super-raw bandwidth. Think super-super-B2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled viral bandwidth and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XML. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We will amplify our capability to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We often harness leading-edge systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think revolutionary. Think six-sigma. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.