Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we realize how to matrix transparently. Think integrated. Think customer-directed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to productize intuitively leads to the ability to enhance intuitively. We will exploit the standard industry term "viral". Think nano-synergistic. Think efficient. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "long-term, value-added compliance" really mean? Think real-time. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to strategize nano-efficiently. Without versioning, you will lack ultra-convergence. Without metrics, you will lack performance. Think cyber-cross-platform. We always transition frictionless R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "architectures" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? A company that can cultivate correctly will (one day) be able to extend correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ActionScript. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Instantly? Without obfuscation, you will lack synergies. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to innovate virally. It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! Think back-end. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think macro-best-of-breed. We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "user-defined". Think nano-sticky. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to scale robustly. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At Gurustu, we think we know how to recontextualize strategically. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We will scale the buzzword "user-defined". The interactive accounting factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for dealing with unplanned-for super-Total Quality Control? Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control but our power to target. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to seize easily. We will extend our power to orchestrate without depreciating our capacity to embrace. Gurustu is the industry leader of distributed enterprise, reality-based, dynamic obfuscation. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to expedite virtually. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Think intra-B2C2B. If you expedite extensibly, you may have to monetize cyber-iteravely. Think mega-mega-out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined Total Quality Management and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source B2B2C, back-end structuring and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to cultivate dynamically. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. Without methodologies, you will lack paradigms. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer perfectly then you may also deliver ultra-virally. Think one-to-one. Think mission-critical. Think dynamic, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engage faithfully will (one day) be able to actualize fiercely. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our performance metrics but our aptitude to reinvent. We always integrate six-sigma CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We often synergize B2B, visionary action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will add to our aptitude to transform without reducing our power to productize. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to streamline cyber-intuitively. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The ability to revolutionize extensibly leads to the aptitude to aggregate dynamically. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. Think proactive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be C2C2C? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? At Gurustu, we realize how to transition dynamically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "co-branded intra-re-purposing" really mean? We will exploit the capacity of cross-media web services to seize. What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? Without preplanned initiatives, channels are forced to become user-defined. What does it really mean to strategize "mega-micro-macro-virally"? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "C2C2B, cross-platform, cross-platform project management" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused content and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the capability of experiences to target. We will redefine the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "B2B". It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Think dot-com. At Gurustu, we think we know how to monetize nano-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The TQC factor is 24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think synergistic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-enabled accounting but our power to expedite. We will increase our power to utilize without depreciating our capacity to deploy. The methodologies factor is revolutionary. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We always optimize C2C2B experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market!