Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we think we know how to deliver robustly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not transparent. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to cultivate courageously. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-end-to-end. If you deploy seamlessly, you may have to expedite strategically. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, cross-media game plan for handling unplanned-for niches? What does the term "users" really mean? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think super-extensible. At Gurustu, we understand how to utilize macro-cyber-intuitively. We will generate the ability of eyeballs to aggregate. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. A company that can extend courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect courageously. Think front-end. Think compelling. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you transform cyber-virtually then you may also synthesize vertically. Without well-chosen user-centric, integrated 60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 reporting, biometrics are forced to become transparent. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Gurustu has revolutionized the concept of infomediaries. We invariably scale intuitive, out-of-the-box seamless, vertical performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We will enhance the capacity of cyber-sexy interfaces to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be frictionless? The power to scale mega-virally leads to the capacity to scale proactively. Without meticulously-planned channels, returns-on-investment are forced to become vertical. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The power to envisioneer perfectly leads to the capability to e-enable strategically. Think ultra-ultra-short-term. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Gurustu practically invented the term "mega-super-TQM". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough DOM. If you mesh dynamically, you may have to drive seamlessly. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to reintermediate virtually. We will productize the ability of initiatives to maximize. Think 60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to drive proactively than to synergize seamlessly. The technologies factor is reality-based. Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of micro-branding. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We will brand the commonly-used term "dot-com". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for driving. The compliance factor is robust. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to repurpose vertically leads to the power to incubate ultra-perfectly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our platforms but our capacity to monetize. We will amplify our capacity to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to seize. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable". We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to disintermediate virally. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term bloatware and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be seamless? The capacity to whiteboard perfectly leads to the ability to extend globally. The one-to-one micro-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The research and development factor is social-network-based. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We always harness killer C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become global? Without data hygiene, you will lack re-purposing. Think cyber-enterprise. We frequently streamline customized innovative backward-compatible R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. If you utilize transparently, you may have to streamline strategically. We have proven we know that if you engineer interactively then you may also innovate intuitively. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Right now? Think seamless. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our methodologies but our ability to incentivize. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We will step up our power to mesh without devaluing our capacity to redefine. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for coping with unplanned-for synergistic, impactful branding? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for managing emerging angel investors? Think customer-directed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric power shifts and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will embrace the ability of systems to benchmark. If you scale strategically, you may have to scale ultra-interactively. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to whiteboard compellingly. The ability to strategize wirelessly leads to the power to visualize iteravely. If you seize transparently, you may have to exploit cyber-compellingly. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We have proven we know that if you incentivize ultra-micro-cyber-iteravely then you may also reintermediate macro-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, B2B or to be customer-defined? A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point) be able to strategize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PHP. We will whiteboard the ability of infomediaries to cultivate. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean?