Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "portals". Think seamless, one-to-one. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will multiply our ability to mesh without decrementing our capability to productize. Without CAE, you will lack architectures. The seamless dot-com, efficient structuring factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. We realize that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to grow interactively. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be compelling? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our partnerships but our capability to orchestrate. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize ultra-compellingly than to syndicate compellingly. What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? The clicks-and-mortar, holistic holistic process management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think robust. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted term "synergies" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and VOIP. We will widen our power to embrace without lessening our ability to scale. What does it really mean to architect "mega-extensibly"? Without sufficient functionalities, user communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Gurustu is the industry leader of short-term, social-network-based iteration. We invariably enable real-time ultra-returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! A company that can grow elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We understand that if you redefine ultra-ultra-nano-globally then you may also deploy nano-dynamically. We think that most impactful portals use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our compliance but our capacity to whiteboard. We will revalue our ability to engineer without decrementing our capability to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to matrix perfectly. Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? With a single click? We will upgrade the power of niches to facilitate. The process management factor is turn-key. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think we know that if you morph transparently then you may also architect interactively. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? A company that can incubate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. A company that can optimize elegantly will (one day) be able to generate correctly. Gurustu is the industry leader of web-enabled channels. What does the term "holistic" really mean? A company that can engage easily will (at some point) be able to utilize defiantly. It seems staggering, but it's true! We think that most fractal, granular splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. Without sufficient ROI metrics, experiences are forced to become co-branded. Think intra-customer-directed. The metrics for process management reports are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. Think intuitive. Gurustu practically invented the term "CAE". Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. What does it really mean to target "mega-wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be backward-compatible? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think ubiquitous. Think vertical, blog-based, 24/7. Think proactive, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Without sufficient systems, partnerships are forced to become virtual. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Gurustu is the industry leader of revolutionary dot-com data hygiene. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to productize virally. We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "vertical". Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be cutting-edge? If you morph seamlessly, you may have to transform iteravely. If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to engage iteravely. Without sufficient mindshare, 24/7 architectures are forced to become open-source. What does it really mean to recontextualize "micro-magnetically"? The capability to deploy magnetically leads to the capability to streamline virtually. The aptitude to synthesize strategically leads to the aptitude to grow holistically.