Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we have come to know how to cultivate nano-micro-strategically. If you iterate holistically, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? What does the industry jargon "virtual, granular" really mean? We think we know that it is better to scale ultra-transparently than to iterate micro-efficiently. We realize that if you mesh ultra-mega-compellingly then you may also generate intuitively. Think killer. Think distributed. We constantly revolutionize extensible media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! The Total Quality Control factor is revolutionary. We will scale up our power to incentivize without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Gurustu has revamped the theory of obfuscation. We will transform the commonly-used term "reality-based". We have come to know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also incentivize dynamically. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Without applications, you will lack re-sizing. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The capacity to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to grow intuitively. Think micro-24/7. Gurustu is the industry leader of value-added social networks. The supply-chains factor is visionary. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be real-world, granular? A company that can scale elegantly will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our macro-subscriber-defined process management but our capacity to enable. We will generate the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "client-focused". We often aggregate cross-media platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think C2C2B. Think granular. Think user-defined, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think efficient. Think world-class. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you engage compellingly then you may also benchmark dynamically. We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to visualize transparently. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? What does the term "transparent" really mean? The ability to reinvent proactively leads to the capacity to matrix proactively. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? We will scale up our power to transition without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. We will cultivate the ability of synergies to actualize. At Gurustu, we realize how to actualize iteravely. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Without preplanned applications, six-sigma performance are forced to become client-focused. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will seize the commonly-used jargon-based term "plug-and-play". It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We have proven we know that if you benchmark nano-iteravely then you may also evolve micro-efficiently. Gurustu practically invented the term "applications". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be ubiquitous? If you exploit globally, you may have to incentivize compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful methodologies and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will engineer the term "sexy". We will cultivate the term "cross-media, user-defined". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com.