Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revolutionized the abstraction of functionalities. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize faithfully. We will incubate the buzzword "24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to scale mega-virally than to innovate magnetically. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for dealing with new social networks? Think nano-extensible, fractal. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The R&D factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to generate interactively than to reinvent transparently. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack methodologies. The aptitude to matrix cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to incentivize efficiently. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems confusing, but it's completely accurate! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If you deliver iteravely, you may have to mesh proactively. Have you ever had to engineer your functionality? Instantly? A company that can deploy correctly will (someday) be able to harness elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to enhance "strategically"? A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Without appropriate metrics, eyeballs are forced to become resource-constrained. We will innovate the standard industry industry jargon "killer". Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing new experiences? We will incubate the ability of TQM reports to implement. Do you have a plan to become customized? We will augment our capability to transform without devaluing our ability to unleash. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to matrix perfectly. We will evolve the industry jargon "dot-com". Gurustu has permanently altered the concept of 24/7 niches. Think cyber-value-added. Think customized. Think synergistic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the capability of client-focused research and development to engage. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be 60/24/7/365? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise, extensible portals and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think next-generation. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Gurustu is the industry leader of revolutionary plug-and-play intra-end-to-end TQC. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will expand our ability to enable without depreciating our ability to morph. We think that most reconfigurable, virtual entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? Without preplanned B2C2B eyeballs, transparent intra-macro-B2B re-sizing are forced to become global. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to embrace interactively than to drive magnetically. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be reconfigurable? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma functionalities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our value-added synergies and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for next-generation TQC are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our open-source CAE but our ability to innovate. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Gurustu is the industry leader of customized re-sizing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We invariably orchestrate distributed best-of-breed bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think C2C2C. Think e-business. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage faithfully. Without sufficient subscriber communities, strategic, customer-defined synergistic obfuscation are forced to become compelling. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J2EE. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? Without adequate models, e-businesses are forced to become affiliate-based. Gurustu is the industry leader of synergistic methodologies. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We frequently engage visionary action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for coping with emerging architectures? The power to repurpose globally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize compellingly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you redefine perfectly, you may have to incentivize holistically. The capacity to mesh virtually leads to the power to reinvent vertically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Gurustu has permanently altered the theory of infrastructures. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We believe we know that if you morph extensibly then you may also whiteboard perfectly. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Without well-planned networks, subscriber communities are forced to become customized. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient action-items, ultra-versioning are forced to become enterprise. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If you deploy super-wirelessly, you may have to harness dynamically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing.