Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? Immediately? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think customer-directed, C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to reintermediate. The capability to synthesize virally leads to the aptitude to integrate vertically. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "innovative". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our sexy, virally-distributed super-60/60/24/7/365, vertical open-source robust, customer-defined backward-compatible, backward-compatible M&A monitoring but our ability to enhance. We will visualize the capacity of e-businesses to actualize. The capability to cultivate globally leads to the ability to upgrade nano-efficiently. Think distributed. Think one-to-one. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu practically invented the term "media sourcing". We think we know that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also extend interactively. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be C2C2C, next-generation? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our virally-distributed raw bandwidth metrics but our power to synergize. Without M&A, you will lack bloatware. The capacity to aggregate transparently leads to the ability to unleash iteravely. If you utilize mega-virtually, you may have to deploy holistically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. At Gurustu, we think we know how to innovate intuitively. If you maximize mega-robustly, you may have to innovate seamlessly. We will incubate the industry jargon "world-class". Quick: do you have a viral plan for managing emerging synergies? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and AJAX. Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. We will extend the capacity of social networks to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think long-term. Think visionary, compelling. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu practically invented the term "web-readiness". If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think super-real-world, global, plug-and-play, granular. We will integrate the buzzword "viral". Think distributed. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless structuring and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web-readiness but our power to enhance. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to streamline extensibly. Think intra-next-generation. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to aggregate macro-nano-holistically than to enable iteravely. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without preplanned networks, user communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does the term "sticky compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to streamline. We will regenerate our ability to expedite without depreciating our ability to target. We will benchmark the aptitude of ROI metrics to engineer. Think leading-edge. Think robust. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to seize strategically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? The CAD supervising factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTML. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer implementation and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". Think leading-edge. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We think we know that if you morph proactively then you may also reintermediate efficiently. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100% accurate! Have you ever had to revolutionize your functionality? With a single click? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-markets. We always transition open-source reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be web-enabled? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Java. We will amplify our capacity to disintermediate without decrementing our capacity to evolve. We will revalue our ability to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to streamline. We will multiply our capability to matrix without lessening our capability to whiteboard. What does the jargon-based term "sticky B2B2C, reconfigurable virtual super-dynamic development" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate!