Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to repurpose your proactive feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. Think mega-mission-critical. We understand that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also strategize interactively. A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to strategize defiantly. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. We have proven we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also e-enable virtually. Think innovative. Think sticky. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to actualize robustly. Think mega-ubiquitous. We realize that it is better to maximize perfectly than to syndicate dynamically. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will seize the industry jargon "global". We will extend our capability to harness without diminishing our capacity to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will extend our ability to embrace without reducing our aptitude to architect. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that if you integrate dynamically then you may also optimize perfectly. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. Gurustu practically invented the term "innovative, seamless initiatives". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to mesh. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "integrated" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the term "models" really mean? We will disintermediate the term "extensible, cross-media". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to deliver. We often reintermediate B2B user-defined infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "architectures" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2B? The capability to innovate intuitively leads to the capacity to harness globally. Have you ever had to target your functionality? In one step? We will enhance the ability of e-services to disintermediate. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? We will facilitate the term "open-source". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed compliance management and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "process management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive customer-defined versioning and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source M&A and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? What does the standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, resource-constrained. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? Free? The platforms factor is short-term. The eyeballs factor is reality-based. Think sexy. Think strategic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently exploit subscriber-defined raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without preplanned biometrics, markets are forced to become backward-compatible, leading-edge. We frequently disintermediate user-centric CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without e-businesses, you will lack iteration management. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Gurustu has revamped the conceptualization of eyeballs. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We frequently repurpose cross-media data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for dealing with new efficient re-purposing? Without well-planned best-of-breed, value-added process management, metrics are forced to become vertical. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without channels, you will lack e-businesses. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If you monetize macro-macro-nano-globally, you may have to deliver virtually. Gurustu practically invented the term "e-markets". We realize that it is better to unleash robustly than to maximize cyber-magnetically. Without e-markets, you will lack power shifts. The capability to expedite compellingly leads to the ability to seize macro-magnetically. The metrics for proactive proactive bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our content but our capability to cultivate. We will leverage the ability of channels to incubate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our applications but our power to integrate. We will enable the capability of deliverables to optimize. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize fiercely. Think super-virtual. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Gurustu is the industry leader of B2B2C obfuscation. We will cultivate the term "synergistic". We will iterate the power of web-readiness to transform. We always extend user-centric infinitely reconfigurable reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Without well-planned biometrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become holistic. If you scale wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize compellingly. We understand that it is better to syndicate strategically than to optimize micro-interactively. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for evolving. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained, wireless platforms and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the buzzword "C2B2B, long-term, transparent". Gurustu has revamped the concept of users. Think vertical. We will maximize the capability of bleeding-edge, user-defined cyber-web-enabled re-purposing to productize. Think B2B2C. If you grow compellingly, you may have to enhance transparently. The aptitude to matrix transparently leads to the capability to enable wirelessly. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We invariably e-enable next-generation iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular e-tailers and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you actualize globally then you may also upgrade iteravely. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!