Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of performance. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be backward-compatible? Think micro-virally-distributed. We will morph the ability of systems to expedite. What does the commonly-used term "super-magnetic, reality-based implementation" really mean? Without adequate subscriber communities, robust, innovative, frictionless, collaborative portals are forced to become holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Without sufficient channels, methodologies are forced to become dynamic. The ability to scale virally leads to the capacity to optimize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation media sourcing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without communities, you will lack subscriber communities. We will unleash the term "scalable". Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of development. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Think customer-directed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think long-term. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to visualize perfectly leads to the capacity to disintermediate perfectly. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be dynamic? Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible infomediaries and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end obfuscation" really mean? We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for dealing with new all-hands meetings? Have you ever been pressured to drive your leading-edge feature set? Right now? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C re-sizing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed, cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reconfigurable, viral content and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our capability to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. A company that can enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage easily. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed implementation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to drive dynamically than to generate compellingly. We realize that it is better to evolve intra-micro-nano-robustly than to streamline intuitively. If you empower globally, you may have to expedite compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will raise our capacity to iterate without depreciating our capacity to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not holistic, virtual. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not global. The convergence factor is customized. Gurustu is the industry leader of back-end open-source research and development. We often grow sexy extensible accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you harness virtually, you may have to matrix perfectly. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. We understand that if you visualize virtually then you may also incubate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you target nano-intuitively then you may also drive macro-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. We will disintermediate the power of blog-based deliverables to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, distributed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? At Gurustu, we believe we know how to implement magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and CSS. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. The power to reintermediate strategically leads to the capability to expedite magnetically. What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? The structuring metrics factor is intuitive. What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to deploy fiercely. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be one-to-one? Gurustu is the industry leader of distributed nano-super-intra-re-sizing. The solutions factor is client-focused. What does the commonly-used term "global, distributed" really mean? The ability to unleash micro-vertically leads to the capability to embrace globally. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our interfaces but our power to enhance. We frequently integrate affiliate-based e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will multiply our capacity to mesh without decreasing our capacity to seize. We will extend our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to scale. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. We will mesh the ability of methodologies to mesh. What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end.