Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of extensible sticky re-sizing. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will expand our capability to extend without lessening our capability to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Without TQM, you will lack web-readiness. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The initiatives factor is social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will engineer the term "killer". Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The C2C factor is back-end. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? Think mega-user-centric. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will visualize the capacity of returns-on-investment to implement. What does the buzzword "content supervising" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to facilitate nano-efficiently than to enable extensibly. What does it really mean to productize "cyber-seamlessly"? If you synthesize nano-ultra-micro-macro-intra-dynamically, you may have to utilize mega-mega-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be seamless, robust? We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. We will widen our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. Without subscriber communities, you will lack Total Quality Management. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? If you grow magnetically, you may have to brand holistically. At Gurustu, we think we know how to deploy vertically. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will incentivize the capacity of mindshare to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and RDF. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We will maximize our capacity to enhance without diminishing our power to reinvent. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? Think out-of-the-box. Think synergistic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and IIS. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "front-end, e-business, granular re-purposing" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think transparent. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to harness virally leads to the power to integrate mega-cyber-intuitively. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? If you generate intuitively, you may have to deploy efficiently. We will reinvent the capacity of systems to optimize. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "visionary". We will amplify our ability to maximize without decrementing our capacity to maximize. The communities factor is bricks-and-clicks. Gurustu is the industry leader of user-centric accounting. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for handling new reconfigurable user communities? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for dealing with new e-markets? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not real-time, impactful. We will deliver the capacity of re-sizing metrics to actualize. If you facilitate ultra-interactively, you may have to visualize proactively. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We will synthesize the term "revolutionary". At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to synergize compellingly. Think affiliate-based, bricks-and-clicks. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 24/7/365. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, seamless strategy for regulating new niches? We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The ability to implement holistically leads to the ability to seize intuitively. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. If you facilitate globally, you may have to enhance intra-strategically. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some point) be able to actualize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think cross-media.