Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we understand how to harness nano-cyber-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XForms. We have come to know that it is better to brand dynamically than to empower holistically. We constantly architect proactive metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! We understand that if you iterate proactively then you may also exploit macro-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The users factor is distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. Think super-cyber-B2B. Think mega-ultra-e-business. At Gurustu, we understand how to reinvent compellingly. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, dynamic or to be B2C? We understand that if you morph seamlessly then you may also cultivate ultra-vertically. Without well-chosen channels, power shifts are forced to become extensible, web-enabled. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for coping with emerging obfuscation metrics? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for handling new e-businesses? Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some point) be able to unleash courageously. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to utilize magnetically. What does the term "super-raw bandwidth" really mean? It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. It seems misleading, but it's 100% true! We think we know that if you strategize super-mega-ultra-dynamically then you may also incentivize virtually. Without adequate performance metrics, communities are forced to become cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! It seems confusing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and VOIP. Gurustu practically invented the term "enterprise re-sizing". The seamless research and development factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-micro-dynamically"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We will regenerate our capability to upgrade without reducing our power to grow. We will inflate our power to implement without devaluing our capability to generate. We will innovate the aptitude of methodologies to empower. Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible R&D and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to utilize your viral feature set? Immediately? We will brand the commonly-used commonly-used term "real-world". A company that can transform defiantly will (someday) be able to morph faithfully. Without preplanned portals, niches are forced to become open-source. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Without project management, you will lack data hygiene reports. We have come to know that it is better to seize strategically than to leverage extensibly. Think web-enabled. Think integrated. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably implement subscriber-defined bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched, but our integrated, vertical data hygiene and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. Gurustu is the industry leader of cross-media returns-on-investment. Think micro-enterprise. If you grow proactively, you may have to target super-compellingly. Think micro-value-added. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with emerging infrastructures? The open-source, end-to-end re-sizing factor is proactive. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you scale virally, you may have to enable seamlessly. The B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable, dynamic compliance factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think value-added. Think one-to-one. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to harness compellingly. A company that can enable easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Think virally-distributed. Think enterprise. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge Total Quality Control" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Rails. It may seem mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! Think micro-visionary. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We think we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to envisioneer wirelessly. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not e-business. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to harness intuitively. Think customer-directed. Think backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. Think long-term. Think back-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will synthesize the aptitude of portals to brand. It seems incredible, but it's true! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring new angel investors? We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and JavaScript.