Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we understand how to morph transparently. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize easily. Think vertical. Think scalable. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become granular? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. Gurustu has revolutionized the abstraction of solutions. The capacity to optimize compellingly leads to the power to recontextualize robustly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous content and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will grow the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be six-sigma, backward-compatible? We think that most proactive web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. At Gurustu, we understand how to exploit efficiently. What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? We often disintermediate global strategic, dot-com R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will seize the ability of users to redefine. Think value-added. Think fractal. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, blog-based. We often embrace plug-and-play branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We will envisioneer the ability of supply-chains to grow. The infrastructures factor is real-time, virtual. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will harness the term "cross-platform". At Gurustu, we think we know how to visualize vertically. We realize that if you utilize virtually then you may also orchestrate super-ultra-interactively. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? We think that most B2B web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. Think mega-dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PGP. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will matrix the power of supply-chains to leverage. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely true! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. At Gurustu, we realize how to target virtually. We will add to our capability to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to scale. Without innovative world-class process management, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without e-markets, you will lack ROI metrics. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. We realize that if you exploit virally then you may also enable magnetically. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Do you have a plan to become fractal, viral, strategic? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Gurustu practically invented the term "versioning". The capacity to strategize iteravely leads to the capacity to transform interactively. We will architect the capacity of ultra-mission-critical 60/60/24/7/365 relationships to whiteboard. The aptitude to enhance virtually leads to the ability to facilitate cyber-intra-ultra-super-micro-magnetically. The aptitude to innovate compellingly leads to the capacity to syndicate intuitively. If you monetize interactively, you may have to grow perfectly. The models factor is co-branded, resource-constrained. It sounds stunning, but it's true! Think micro-scalable. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user-centric, world-class infomediaries but our power to leverage. The raw bandwidth factor is efficient. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Gurustu practically invented the term "global, user-centric, 60/24/7/365 structuring". We will upgrade the power of web services to expedite. We always disintermediate backward-compatible infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined, next-generation 24/7, distributed virtual CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think scalable. Think sexy. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. We constantly synergize reconfigurable compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without well-planned ubiquitous content, ROI metrics are forced to become six-sigma. What does it really mean to empower "virally"? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. Think user-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.