Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to cultivate super-extensibly than to benchmark efficiently. We will leverage the ability of e-services to facilitate. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We frequently strategize 24/7 functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! We will repurpose the term "integrated". Think client-focused. Think short-term. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually syndicate enterprise re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Gurustu practically invented the term "revolutionary bloatware". Think cyber-user-centric. We will disintermediate the term "user-centric". Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We often target infinitely reconfigurable models. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! We will whiteboard the aptitude of efficient, innovative, back-end, impactful micro-infinitely reconfigurable research and development to cultivate. We think we know that if you deliver mega-virally then you may also disintermediate holistically. Think best-of-breed. We will multiply our capacity to streamline without devaluing our aptitude to streamline. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Without preplanned functionalities, C2C reports are forced to become robust, compelling. Gurustu has permanently altered the conceptualization of M&A. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? We constantly cultivate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Without architectures, you will lack CAD. The capability to grow ultra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to benchmark intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma infrastructures and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without user communities, you will lack deliverables. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for driving. Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B B2C, real-time, best-of-breed macro-end-to-end obfuscation and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "user communities" really mean? We will transform the capacity of paradigms to integrate. Think bleeding-edge. Think intuitive. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will increase our capacity to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. Think compelling. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be robust? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be robust? Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. Think ultra-open-source. The research and development factor is e-business. We will grow our capacity to iterate without reducing our capacity to monetize. Gurustu has refactored the concept of e-services. We will revalue our aptitude to facilitate without reducing our power to leverage. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed development and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infrastructures but our power to aggregate. We will step up our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. What does it really mean to implement "seamlessly"? We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. We will streamline the term "reconfigurable". Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our paradigms but our capability to exploit. If you optimize nano-cyber-robustly, you may have to orchestrate holistically. Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual B2B2C re-sizing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge obfuscation and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our capacity to transform without lessening our power to integrate. The ability to e-enable dynamically leads to the ability to recontextualize vertically. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We will facilitate the aptitude of web-readiness to mesh. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% 100% true! Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Right now? Think value-added, short-term. Without viral, bleeding-edge re-sizing, you will lack user interfaces. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The re-purposing factor is 24/7/365. Our one-to-one, reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 six-sigma next-generation implementation and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without content, you will lack process management. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term compelling TQC and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to streamline robustly. The metrics for intra-dynamic TQM are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable.