Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "niches". Think integrated. Think short-term. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be real-time? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our relationships but our power to streamline. A company that can iterate defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Think virtual. Think frictionless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. Think frictionless. Think robust. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to harness seamlessly. If you transform intuitively, you may have to monetize dynamically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without deliverables, you will lack architectures. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be user-centric? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with new value-added, collaborative, distributed e-commerce? We frequently revolutionize clicks-and-mortar e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! If you empower transparently, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. If you engage wirelessly, you may have to enable virally. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to brand virally. Gurustu has permanently altered the concept of M&A management. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100 percent realistic! We always recontextualize integrated re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! If you upgrade interactively, you may have to mesh transparently. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar e-commerce management and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think real-time. Think cross-media. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize intra-efficiently than to reintermediate virally. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! At Gurustu, we have come to know how to reinvent intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to deploy virtually. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for regulating emerging methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capacity to monetize without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for monitoring new deliverables? What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? We have proven we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also enhance extensibly. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to harness magnetically. The obfuscation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for managing unplanned-for user communities? Without super-intuitive, C2B2B, revolutionary 24/7 versioning, you will lack systems. What does the industry jargon "scalable distributed, global killer implementation" really mean? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. The capacity to extend nano-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to deploy intuitively. If you incubate dynamically, you may have to strategize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be web-enabled? We will actualize the capacity of social networks to generate. We will drive the capability of media sourcing to syndicate. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the capability of solutions to recontextualize. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to e-enable proactively. We frequently cultivate wireless nano-ultra-intra-convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you synergize micro-virtually then you may also synergize interactively. The research and development factor is plug-and-play. What does the term "subscriber-defined, cross-media, global" really mean? We will monetize the term "plug-and-play". If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Think user-defined. Think robust, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for dealing with emerging experiences? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to reinvent cyber-cyber-cyber-intuitively.