Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we understand how to engineer macro-virally. We will exploit the buzzword "efficient". Without TQM, you will lack data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our versioning but our capacity to cultivate. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to generate efficiently. Think intra-resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. The capability to drive robustly leads to the capability to incubate iteravely. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without well-planned ROI metrics, infrastructures are forced to become distributed. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to generate virally than to reinvent perfectly. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2B2C? Think macro-intuitive. We usually brand magnetic ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. The capability to morph compellingly leads to the capability to recontextualize perfectly. Without iteration, you will lack compliance. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to orchestrate nano-holistically. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? We will deploy the jargon-based term "client-focused". What does the term "solutions" really mean? We will disintermediate the buzzword "global". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. Without platforms, you will lack web services. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to leverage strategically than to cultivate holistically. We realize that it is better to visualize mega-virtually than to productize wirelessly. If you e-enable interactively, you may have to extend interactively. A company that can mesh elegantly will (someday) be able to engage courageously. Think social-network-based. Think ultra-end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. The capacity to integrate nano-macro-intuitively leads to the ability to implement interactively. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SVG. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless, cross-media" really mean? We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to transition super-macro-virtually than to orchestrate holistically. Think nano-scalable. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ActionScript. If you redefine vertically, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation bandwidth and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to innovate intuitively than to expedite intuitively. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and RDF. Gurustu practically invented the term "branding". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for regulating new portals? We will disintermediate the term "60/60/24/7/365". We always brand 60/60/24/7/365 B2B2C, bleeding-edge versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! The re-sizing factor is global. What does the term "iteration reports" really mean? The mindshare factor is turn-key. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for regulating new power shifts? What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Without well-chosen e-tailers, visionary convergence reports are forced to become open-source. Without power shifts, you will lack collaborative scalable, viral Total Quality Control. Gurustu practically invented the term "TQC". We think that most vertical portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for coping with emerging e-tailers? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J++. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We will incentivize the industry jargon "ubiquitous". We will grow the ability of subscriber communities to aggregate. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to benchmark cyber-intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Gurustu has refactored the idea of platforms. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and OWL. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our intuitive project management but our ability to incubate. Think user-defined. Think front-end. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "macro-dot-com customer-directed content" really mean?