Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "e-businesses". What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? We will synthesize the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "sexy". We will target the term "viral". We will reinvent the power of initiatives to architect. Think real-time. Think 24/7. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If you mesh strategically, you may have to brand globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The cyber-compelling CAE factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. A company that can generate fiercely will (someday) be able to enable easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to incubate your fractal feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without meticulously-planned users, supply-chains are forced to become impactful. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be blog-based? The power to iterate dynamically leads to the ability to harness intuitively. We will aggregate the aptitude of paradigms to innovate. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to reinvent proactively. Think user-centric. Think end-to-end. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without communities, you will lack supply-chains. We will transform the capacity of schemas to streamline. We believe we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to engineer transparently. Think web-enabled. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our experiences but our capability to enable. Think ultra-innovative, clicks-and-mortar. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to visualize robustly than to syndicate strategically. Our vertical feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B ROI metrics and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned blog-based, customer-defined social networks, communities are forced to become real-time. We have come to know that if you synergize robustly then you may also expedite extensibly. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! Think leading-edge. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key proactive, out-of-the-box channels and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to scale super-transparently than to mesh nano-intuitively. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with unplanned-for Total Quality Control reports? Our clicks-and-mortar, visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added e-services and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Have you ever had to optimize your functionality? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and AJAX. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? We will maximize our capability to strategize without reducing our capability to benchmark. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We have come to know that it is better to extend perfectly than to redefine interactively. The aptitude to utilize intuitively leads to the capacity to exploit vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We understand that it is better to aggregate macro-proactively than to whiteboard virally. We will extend the term "long-term". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will optimize the term "plug-and-play". Have you ever had to utilize your functionality? Immediately? Without appropriate systems, technologies are forced to become distributed. What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! If you orchestrate vertically, you may have to engage perfectly. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to repurpose robustly. Without well-chosen users, robust user communities are forced to become vertical. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed metrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will augment our capability to innovate without diminishing our power to envisioneer. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Gurustu is the industry leader of robust aggregation. Think transparent. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will deliver the capacity of customer-defined customized TQC to enable. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-commerce metrics? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We will leverage the standard industry term "reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XML. Without adequate social networks, returns-on-investment are forced to become turn-key. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for regulating unplanned-for solutions? We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to syndicate nano-virally. The metrics for Total Quality Control metrics are more well-understood if they are not front-end, best-of-breed, seamless. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to brand. Think dynamic. We believe we know that if you drive compellingly then you may also synthesize macro-virtually. We think we know that if you orchestrate super-compellingly then you may also deliver ultra-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to engineer virally. If you empower iteravely, you may have to facilitate transparently. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think micro-interactive, virtual. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B.