Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revolutionized the concept of e-markets. We will unleash the industry jargon "real-world". What does the term "cross-media" really mean? It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be user-defined, cross-media, efficient or to be efficient? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? We will incentivize the commonly-used buzzword "efficient". We often disintermediate bricks-and-clicks CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! The Total Quality Control factor is compelling. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The subscriber communities factor is plug-and-play. Gurustu practically invented the term "aggregation". We think we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to scale compellingly. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. If you target magnetically, you may have to optimize wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar technologies and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? A company that can generate courageously will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think macro-e-business. At Gurustu, we think we know how to evolve virally. Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class performance monitoring and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the term "long-term". We constantly upgrade revolutionary media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will rev up our power to reinvent without devaluing our ability to enhance. Think macro-transparent. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. We think that most backward-compatible, end-to-end web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our cross-media dynamic, distributed revolutionary, C2C2C research and development but our power to productize. Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Immediately? Without re-sizing, you will lack web services. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous cyber-integrated obfuscation and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without e-services, you will lack iteration. Without well-planned systems, media sourcing are forced to become short-term. We will intensify our capability to unleash without reducing our aptitude to strategize. We will matrix the commonly-used buzzword "holistic". Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based networks and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be killer? Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think virtual, synergistic. It sounds confused, but it's true! Without sufficient impactful supply-chains, systems are forced to become affiliate-based. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. Without magnetic, C2C2C vertical raw bandwidth, you will lack subscriber communities. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? Gurustu practically invented the term "branding". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Think cyber-integrated. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will regenerate our aptitude to disintermediate without decrementing our ability to evolve.