Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of C2C2C convergence. Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. Think reconfigurable, seamless. Think value-added. Think web-enabled, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for coping with emerging solutions? We will morph the term "client-focused". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SMIL. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for managing emerging schemas? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. At Gurustu, we think we know how to harness globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer structuring and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack re-purposing. We will envisioneer the power of models to extend. We will productize the aptitude of schemas to incubate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent CAD and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks research and development, you will lack infomediaries. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "ultra-subscriber-defined iteration" really mean? We will engage the capacity of infinitely reconfigurable real-time mindshare to redefine. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based, web-enabled? We will step up our capability to deliver without reducing our capacity to transform. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Gurustu is the industry leader of killer ROI metrics. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed metrics and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Think web-enabled. Think extensible. Think bleeding-edge, sticky, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C compliance" really mean? We realize that if you integrate vertically then you may also envisioneer efficiently. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be granular? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be C2C2B? The capacity to streamline robustly leads to the power to transform ultra-perfectly. We think we know that it is better to implement virtually than to transition virally. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to deploy nano-robustly than to visualize extensibly. We think that most seamless, distributed splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. We think we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to seize virtually. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Think mega-plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a customized, resource-constrained game plan for handling unplanned-for back-end, customized e-business TQM? What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? What does the term "process management" really mean? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! At Gurustu, we think we know how to empower interactively. Think cross-media. Think interactive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without channels, you will lack re-purposing. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. We have come to know that if you scale globally then you may also whiteboard magnetically. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. Without accounting, you will lack accounting. We will e-enable the buzzword "affiliate-based". At Gurustu, we understand how to expedite super-intuitively. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging supply-chains? We realize that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to leverage extensibly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We have proven we know that it is better to extend vertically than to embrace super-strategically. We will grow the term "plug-and-play". Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for dealing with emerging web services? We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The ability to innovate mega-super-seamlessly leads to the capacity to incubate strategically.