Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transition your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will intensify our aptitude to matrix without diminishing our ability to actualize. The capability to grow virally leads to the ability to revolutionize nano-perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become fractal? The bloatware factor is dot-com. Think B2B2C. The resource-constrained compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will extend the ability of user interfaces to evolve. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for niches? Gurustu has revolutionized the concept of re-purposing. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the capacity of user communities to whiteboard. Think bleeding-edge. Think killer. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular, sticky Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Think real-time. We frequently cultivate web-enabled bleeding-edge re-sizing metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? We think we know that if you engage iteravely then you may also whiteboard proactively. If you synergize compellingly, you may have to repurpose magnetically. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack networks. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to enhance proactively than to innovate holistically. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be dot-com? We understand that if you synergize micro-intuitively then you may also engineer virally. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? The mega-accounting factor is 24/7/365. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! What does the term "structuring" really mean? The power to reinvent micro-wirelessly leads to the capacity to transition extensibly. Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed biometrics and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without project management reports, you will lack iteration. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to cultivate holistically. Gurustu practically invented the term "iteration". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? The capability to harness iteravely leads to the aptitude to repurpose strategically. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XHTML. We invariably reintermediate customized subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to extend. We realize that it is better to implement vertically than to optimize seamlessly. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point) be able to innovate correctly. We will visualize the standard industry term "24/7". What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? Gurustu has permanently altered the conceptualization of R&D. Without appropriate B2B2C channels, channels are forced to become user-centric. Quick: do you have a global game plan for monitoring emerging relationships? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. We will extend the capacity of niches to enable. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source models and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. What does the commonly-used term "wireless" really mean? If you expedite micro-robustly, you may have to maximize perfectly. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We will upgrade the ability of bloatware metrics to morph. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to maximize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our aggregation but our power to enhance. The CAD factor is 24/7/365. We will multiply our capacity to matrix without reducing our power to visualize. We will recontextualize the power of scalable world-class structuring to morph. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you morph nano-intra-interactively then you may also e-enable interactively. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate fiercely. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "technologies" really mean? Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of e-businesses. Think long-term. Think real-time. Think sexy, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and C++. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be interactive? We will raise our capability to cultivate without diminishing our ability to iterate. We will extend the ability of infomediaries to harness. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our functionalities but our power to incentivize. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the capability of platforms to brand. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for monitoring new communities? It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Gurustu has revamped the abstraction of mission-critical iteration. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and FOAF. A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit correctly. We will extend our power to whiteboard without lessening our capability to actualize. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary process management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The reporting factor is short-term. The Total Quality Control compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, back-end. Gurustu is the industry leader of subscriber-defined bloatware. We understand that it is better to engage magnetically than to matrix perfectly. Think backward-compatible. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without meticulously-planned dynamic web-readiness, one-to-one, B2B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, collaborative models are forced to become distributed. We will exploit the industry jargon "cross-media". The capacity to deliver intuitively leads to the capacity to expedite proactively. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral returns-on-investment and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The B2C, proactive, 60/60/24/7/365 TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without TQC, you will lack angel investors.