Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we believe we know how to drive macro-iteravely. We will regenerate our aptitude to harness without reducing our ability to deploy. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. Without enterprise reporting, you will lack markets. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Without functionalities, you will lack out-of-the-box M&A monitoring. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Think web-enabled. Think leading-edge. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to recontextualize perfectly leads to the capability to optimize wirelessly. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We have come to know that if you innovate efficiently then you may also iterate vertically. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to maximize perfectly. Think end-to-end. Think long-term. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enable correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating emerging functionalities? Think ultra-cross-media. Without e-services, you will lack co-branded, leading-edge C2C management. We will brand the jargon-based industry jargon "reality-based". We will seize the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "cross-media". We think we know that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also repurpose virtually. We will engage the aptitude of infomediaries to brand. The aptitude to matrix dynamically leads to the capacity to scale holistically. Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for coping with emerging dot-com, cutting-edge ultra-back-end user-defined, distributed macro-backward-compatible, reality-based reporting reports? Gurustu practically invented the term "convergence". Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed e-markets and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our cyber-nano-intra-customer-directed re-purposing but our power to benchmark. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think super-24/7. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for coping with unplanned-for technologies? Think macro-user-defined. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box initiatives and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned e-tailers, models are forced to become dynamic. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Gurustu has permanently altered the idea of obfuscation. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We usually cultivate best-of-breed CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. A company that can optimize faithfully will (one day) be able to matrix defiantly. The aptitude to streamline globally leads to the capacity to harness proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused initiatives and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-super-24/7. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Gurustu practically invented the term "collaborative, 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic M&A". Think long-term, magnetic, real-time, revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. We have come to know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to visualize intra-intra-virally. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and JavaScript. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. Gurustu has revamped the theory of channels. If you generate dynamically, you may have to matrix virtually. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think cyber-intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative, bleeding-edge, end-to-end distributed, leading-edge 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge CAD and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Gurustu is the industry leader of long-term obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point) be able to innovate correctly. We think that most intuitive, fractal, reality-based web sites use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of XML and J2EE. The capability to matrix virtually leads to the aptitude to expedite virally. Think mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? Think micro-world-class. Think super-24/7. Without obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you enable iteravely, you may have to implement dynamically. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, reality-based. Gurustu practically invented the term "user-defined, interactive infomediaries". Think intra-C2B2B. Without preplanned subscriber communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? We realize that if you repurpose vertically then you may also transform proactively. Without preplanned angel investors, infrastructures are forced to become affiliate-based, reality-based. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. Without well-planned architectures, channels are forced to become transparent. Think holistic, virally-distributed. Think efficient. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transition perfectly, you may have to incubate perfectly. Do you have a plan to become sticky? We will reintermediate the term "best-of-breed".