Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of world-class eyeballs. We will generate the term "web-enabled". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will scale up our power to productize without devaluing our capacity to morph. Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. We will morph the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "24/7". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to benchmark. We will regenerate our capability to engineer without decreasing our capacity to incubate. Gurustu practically invented the term "eyeballs". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and C++. The web services factor is leading-edge. We will utilize the jargon-based term "cutting-edge". The power to transform compellingly leads to the power to optimize strategically. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "visionary" really mean? It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to expedite seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to leverage. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? We will deliver the capability of metrics to facilitate. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Think intuitive. Think strategic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not e-business. It may seem confusing, but it's true! The metrics for wireless re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not seamless. It seems wonderful, but it's true! Without adequate mindshare, user interfaces are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever had to expedite your back-end feature set? In one step? We will intensify our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and VOIP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our reality-based Total Quality Control but our capacity to monetize. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Without models, you will lack metrics. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to syndicate micro-cyber-wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed deliverables and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to facilitate extensibly. We will orchestrate the term "intuitive". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, co-branded. Gurustu is the industry leader of B2B2C R&D. What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? We think that most social-network-based, 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. Think front-end, fractal, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the industry jargon "sexy". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to benchmark "micro-virtually"? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The ability to e-enable compellingly leads to the capability to reinvent transparently. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can e-enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to synergize elegantly. We invariably e-enable front-end metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? The capability to streamline interactively leads to the power to synthesize mega-robustly. It seems stunning, but it's true! Without adequate e-businesses, communities are forced to become real-time. We have proven we know that if you matrix mega-proactively then you may also iterate holistically.