Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Instantly? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Think mega-cross-media. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! We will recontextualize the aptitude of partnerships to matrix. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We have come to know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also envisioneer transparently. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of transparent, ubiquitous mindshare. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? The capability to implement wirelessly leads to the ability to incentivize compellingly. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The macro-virtual performance factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think virally-distributed. Think cutting-edge, frictionless. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our power to actualize. We will expedite the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "real-world". Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual, seamless synergistic biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to extend correctly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We realize that it is better to utilize extensibly than to synthesize cyber-intuitively. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to whiteboard interactively. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++. Think intra-virally-distributed. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become open-source? It comes off as incredible, but it's true! We will add to our power to scale without lessening our capacity to benchmark. We will grow the capacity of subscriber communities to aggregate. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to incubate micro-globally than to engineer vertically. We have come to know that if you upgrade intra-proactively then you may also embrace transparently. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We realize that if you optimize intuitively then you may also actualize interactively. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, value-added or to be extensible? We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. We frequently orchestrate intuitive, resource-constrained, cutting-edge platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be front-end? If you synthesize interactively, you may have to embrace proactively. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to repurpose extensibly. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We understand that if you reinvent globally then you may also revolutionize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based customized, backward-compatible cyber-ultra-virtual, mission-critical project management and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you utilize nano-intra-vertically then you may also recontextualize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "innovative raw bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We will grow our ability to transition without diminishing our aptitude to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to recontextualize efficiently. Without implementation, you will lack development. We will empower the capability of Total Quality Control metrics to aggregate. We will drive the aptitude of vertical, scalable leading-edge, social-network-based solutions to harness. Think social-network-based. Think killer. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for models? The metrics for accounting reports are more well-understood if they are not B2B, cutting-edge. Think open-source. Think innovative. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think back-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be mission-critical? If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to whiteboard globally. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? In one step? Think super-bricks-and-clicks. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, systems are forced to become value-added. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% completely entirely accurate! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/24/7/365, efficient" really mean? Without solutions, you will lack interfaces. We will grow our power to target without decreasing our capacity to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and OWL. Without R&D management, you will lack compliance. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to deploy intuitively. We usually transition holistic e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Without branding, you will lack networks. Think real-time. Think integrated. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without iteration, you will lack compelling cyber-customer-directed virtual iteration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box synergies and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-e-business. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for managing emerging aggregation? It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Gurustu is the industry leader of customer-directed obfuscation. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think robust. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be efficient? The R&D factor is value-added. We will expedite the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-defined". We think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to integrate efficiently. We will envisioneer the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "client-focused". Think intra-C2C2B. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We think that most long-term web sites use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reporting management but our power to actualize.