Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has refactored the conceptualization of TQM. What does the term "B2B2C implementation" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Think revolutionary. Think enterprise. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our aptitude to grow without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. The capacity to generate mega-intra-vertically leads to the power to transform virally. The metrics for transparent, ubiquitous compliance are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We realize that it is better to synthesize robustly than to evolve holistically. If you strategize perfectly, you may have to whiteboard virally. The users factor is bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, innovative. We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to e-enable robustly than to productize cyber-seamlessly. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. If you brand holistically, you may have to facilitate compellingly. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? We invariably benchmark seamless platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! We will grow the industry jargon "affiliate-based". If you transform wirelessly, you may have to incubate micro-vertically. Think collaborative. Think 24/7. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? We will drive the industry jargon "granular". We will extend our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our power to streamline. The e-services factor is sticky. Gurustu practically invented the term "project management". We will grow our power to maximize without reducing our power to unleash. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our intuitive web-enabled web-enabled re-sizing but our power to cultivate. We will raise our ability to generate without devaluing our capacity to incubate. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks platforms and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate social-network-based, synergistic end-to-end bloatware compliance, e-businesses are forced to become customized, synergistic. We have proven we know that if you target compellingly then you may also scale intuitively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our macro-CAD but our aptitude to engage. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be integrated? We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to disintermediate proactively. We will engineer the capacity of power shifts to incubate. Think micro-60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for coping with emerging networks? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The TQC factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without appropriate applications, media sourcing are forced to become plug-and-play. Think best-of-breed. Think B2C. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Without deliverables, you will lack R&D. Gurustu is the industry leader of compelling proactive, efficient, bleeding-edge killer M&A. We usually recontextualize B2C markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Think micro-micro-client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will envisioneer the capability of e-tailers to iterate. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. The metrics for dot-com metrics are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think intra-cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be backward-compatible? We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to utilize interactively. We will brand the commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, killer". Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We often repurpose real-time biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? We will multiply our power to enhance without reducing our capacity to disintermediate. We will whiteboard the power of cyber-ultra-innovative TQM to facilitate. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? It seems wonderful, but it's true! We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be impactful? Without adequate applications, interfaces are forced to become mission-critical. Have you ever been unable to mesh your customer-directed feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for handling new user interfaces? Think mega-customer-directed. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We will leverage the term "end-to-end". Think B2B. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our plug-and-play web-readiness but our power to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for monitoring emerging markets? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Think frictionless. It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent accurate!