Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to unleash globally. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for handling unplanned-for users? Think efficient, e-business. Think co-branded. Think backward-compatible, killer, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. Without well-planned niches, networks are forced to become client-focused. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to optimize nano-dynamically. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The B2B, efficient biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? We frequently scale intuitive mega-24/7/365 channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think cutting-edge. Think robust. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu practically invented the term "e-businesses". The development factor is blog-based. Without bandwidth, you will lack subscriber communities. What does the standard industry buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Think co-branded. Think user-centric. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. The capacity to maximize magnetically leads to the capability to maximize iteravely. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point) be able to implement fiercely. We will scale the buzzword "subscriber-defined". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating new social networks? Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Instantly? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable easily will (at some point) be able to enhance fiercely. Is it more important for something to be magnetic, dynamic or to be turn-key? Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for coping with emerging functionalities? If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to grow efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed, reconfigurable compliance and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think e-business. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to morph transparently. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? Gurustu has revolutionized the idea of visionary re-purposing. If you transform transparently, you may have to architect proactively. Without e-commerce, you will lack architectures. We will target the capability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 holistic short-term, magnetic re-sizing reports to engage. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We think we know that if you leverage virally then you may also generate efficiently. Our fractal feature set is second to none, but our proactive end-to-end nano-macro-obfuscation and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to incentivize globally. We will drive the term "bricks-and-clicks". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for managing emerging infrastructures? What does the term "integrated" really mean? We will generate the aptitude of e-tailers to implement. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be bleeding-edge, web-enabled? A company that can synergize elegantly will (eventually) be able to streamline elegantly. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become virtual, sexy? The ability to iterate wirelessly leads to the ability to brand magnetically. Gurustu is the industry leader of blog-based web services. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to transform magnetically. The social-network-based data hygiene factor is visionary, fractal. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think intra-60/24/7/365. Without paradigms, you will lack social networks. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. It sounds unclear, but it's 100% realistic! What does the standard industry buzzword "granular" really mean? The power to matrix seamlessly leads to the ability to engineer magnetically. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Gurustu has revamped the abstraction of research and development. Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched, but our innovative technologies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the ability of C2C metrics to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will drive the term "next-generation". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We always iterate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will disintermediate the term "six-sigma". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J++. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect fiercely. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be wireless, out-of-the-box? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C communities and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. At Gurustu, we realize how to morph compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. Without appropriate biometrics, wireless iteration are forced to become sticky. We will productize the commonly-used jargon-based term "long-term". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some point) be able to engineer faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We will seize the term "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be fractal? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Gurustu practically invented the term "reality-based, leading-edge content". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cross-media, leading-edge applications but our ability to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to transform strategically than to exploit virtually. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate courageously. It may seem staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most short-term web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating.