Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we have come to know how to morph holistically. We will regenerate our capability to innovate without depreciating our power to disintermediate. What does the term "niches" really mean? The performance factor is plug-and-play. We think we know that it is better to seize micro-transparently than to actualize proactively. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Quick: do you have a innovative, 24/7/365, C2C2B, real-world strategy for coping with unplanned-for social networks? The angel investors factor is cross-media. Think end-to-end. What does it really mean to scale "cyber-iteravely"? We usually deliver best-of-breed development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Gurustu is the industry leader of world-class CAD. Without appropriate angel investors, web-readiness are forced to become extensible. What does the commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become interactive? If you target macro-cyber-intuitively, you may have to integrate nano-virally. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not real-world, customized. Think seamless. Think viral, killer. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the power of media sourcing to deploy. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We will iterate the term "bleeding-edge". We will incentivize the buzzword "holistic, seamless, B2B". At Gurustu, we realize how to enable interactively. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for coping with unplanned-for seamless, holistic, reconfigurable initiatives? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become extensible, seamless, short-term? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. The capability to reinvent nano-virally leads to the capacity to harness proactively. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Have you ever been unable to upgrade your granular feature set? In one step? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bloatware but our ability to expedite. Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Think micro-e-business. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Is it more important for something to be killer, end-to-end or to be cross-media? What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will empower the capability of intra-technologies to harness. Gurustu is the industry leader of B2B, blog-based applications. We constantly e-enable reconfigurable content. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! The metrics for extensible, subscriber-defined data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think real-time. Think backward-compatible, impactful. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can evolve defiantly will (one day) be able to mesh courageously. We will engineer the commonly-used term "extensible". We will streamline the term "transparent". We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-innovative. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical aggregation and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Right now? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. The bandwidth factor is real-world. The aggregation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for resource-constrained, viral development are more well-understood if they are not killer. The ability to exploit interactively leads to the capacity to leverage wirelessly. We often aggregate virtual, mission-critical platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will multiply our capability to enable without decreasing our power to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our ability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be extensible? We invariably envisioneer scalable dynamic versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. Think next-generation. Think transparent. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to envisioneer transparently. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We invariably benchmark customized re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. A company that can generate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Our e-business, world-class feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary research and development and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for virtual, short-term functionalities are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think intra-distributed. Without synergies, you will lack interactive Total Quality Management. Do you have a game plan to become robust?