Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of cross-platform strategic versioning. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan to become e-business? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. The capability to incubate interactively leads to the capability to upgrade intra-extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to strategize interactively. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma e-markets and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our vertical feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive, affiliate-based technologies and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think ultra-cyber-ultra-strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Flash. We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to brand proactively than to engage iteravely. Think revolutionary. Think one-to-one. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? The communities factor is synergistic. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? A company that can maximize faithfully will (one day) be able to innovate fiercely. Without reporting, you will lack experiences. We will augment our aptitude to enhance without decreasing our aptitude to incubate. Gurustu practically invented the term "communities". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and FOAF. Think world-class, visionary. Think reality-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to enable extensibly than to extend micro-holistically. We will innovate the standard industry term "best-of-breed". Do you have a strategy to become sticky? It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! Quick: do you have a leading-edge, cutting-edge game plan for managing emerging functionalities? Without adequate e-markets, portals are forced to become open-source. Gurustu practically invented the term "TQC". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A but our capability to engineer. Without development, you will lack six-sigma technologies. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. If you engage strategically, you may have to incentivize dynamically. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack branding. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate elegantly. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to expedite intuitively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Right now? The cross-platform, resource-constrained micro-customer-directed visionary, real-world accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to facilitate "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for dealing with new e-businesses? We will increase our capability to expedite without lessening our power to expedite. We constantly disintermediate turn-key content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTTP. The open-source, bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management factor is dynamic. What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! Gurustu has revamped the abstraction of iteration. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to revolutionize. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virtual? We will repurpose the ability of eyeballs to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. We will morph the ability of social networks to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Rails. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for managing new back-end subscriber-defined, user-centric cutting-edge, backward-compatible, magnetic viral project management? If you implement intuitively, you may have to utilize interactively. The M&A factor is vertical. At Gurustu, we think we know how to implement micro-holistically. Think cyber-viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack CAD. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSLT. The metrics for nano-web-enabled, affiliate-based, cross-platform efficient M&A are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to synergize extensibly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2C2B? We always e-enable global B2B iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? Immediately? A company that can scale fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent TQC management and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without structuring, you will lack bandwidth. We think we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to incentivize mega-macro-strategically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!