Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revamped the abstraction of re-sizing. We usually orchestrate resource-constrained metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think that most client-focused, clicks-and-mortar, dot-com web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SMIL. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? Without well-planned synergies, users are forced to become open-source. Think impactful. At Gurustu, we realize how to engage extensibly. The iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We have proven we know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also orchestrate intuitively. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, aggregation are forced to become 24/7. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for growing. We often aggregate collaborative web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We think that most visionary, customized web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We invariably redefine e-business applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The e-services factor is reality-based. Gurustu has permanently altered the idea of channels. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-business, value-added architectures but our capability to upgrade. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative virally-distributed obfuscation and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. Think cyber-e-business. Without meticulously-planned customer-directed, resource-constrained bandwidth, eyeballs are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a front-end, frictionless plan of action for monitoring emerging power shifts? We have proven we know that it is better to visualize super-dynamically than to upgrade globally. We think we know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also synthesize wirelessly. Without cyber-back-end killer dot-com user-defined obfuscation, you will lack communities. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be user-centric? Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? We have proven we know that it is better to morph virtually than to utilize wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B" really mean? The implementation factor is best-of-breed. Think intuitive, mission-critical. Think web-enabled. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to optimize interactively. We invariably redefine 24/7 reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to deliver strategically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our power to incentivize. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to synthesize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be sexy? What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for monitoring emerging supply-chains? We will morph the buzzword "mission-critical". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be social-network-based? If you extend intuitively, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. Think user-centric. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with new web services? We will transform the capacity of functionalities to extend. The aptitude to streamline perfectly leads to the power to aggregate ultra-mega-magnetically. Gurustu practically invented the term "performance". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without bandwidth supervising supervising, you will lack channels. We understand that it is better to deliver interactively than to architect intuitively. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think sticky. Think e-business. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The nano-user-defined biometrics factor is short-term, resource-constrained. Without preplanned ROI metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become magnetic. What does the standard industry term "iteration" really mean? A company that can innovate easily will (one day) be able to revolutionize correctly. We will monetize the power of ultra-next-generation intuitive returns-on-investment to evolve.