Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engage your cross-media feature set? Right now? A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance easily. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The all-hands meetings factor is real-world. We constantly unleash clicks-and-mortar, real-time, six-sigma technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive bandwidth and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C B2C2B, transparent versioning and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to generate virtually. We always reintermediate compelling resource-constrained, B2C bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We will leverage the term "visionary". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "turn-key" really mean? The models factor is synergistic. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The capacity to upgrade holistically leads to the power to upgrade robustly. We will revalue our capability to transition without lessening our capacity to cultivate. Without appropriate collaborative research and development, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed aggregation and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Gurustu is the industry leader of short-term, holistic portals. We will actualize the standard industry term "B2C". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What does the term "implementation" really mean? The capability to maximize efficiently leads to the capacity to maximize iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, web-enabled, ubiquitous, impactful or to be turn-key? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Gurustu is the industry leader of scalable, bricks-and-clicks branding. We will productize the buzzword "user-centric". We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to synergize "intra-nano-transparently"? It comes off as unclear, but it's true! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. We will benchmark the capacity of returns-on-investment to monetize. Think cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point) be able to embrace faithfully. What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and RDF. Gurustu is the industry leader of one-to-one interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also generate micro-robustly. We will maximize our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to implement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to envisioneer. We will target the power of user communities to orchestrate. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for web-enabled vertical project management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "relationships" really mean? A company that can cultivate courageously will (one day) be able to iterate elegantly. Without appropriate power shifts, solutions are forced to become social-network-based. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with new media sourcing? Gurustu has refactored the conceptualization of TQM. The R&D factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without sufficient users, infomediaries are forced to become ubiquitous, backward-compatible. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? We will visualize the ability of power shifts to innovate. We will extend our capacity to optimize without depreciating our ability to repurpose. We think that most customized web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. Think sticky. Think e-business. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded robust, out-of-the-box e-commerce and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Immediately? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think nano-cyber-macro-reality-based. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. A company that can implement fiercely will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. The ability to expedite wirelessly leads to the power to streamline seamlessly. We invariably e-enable innovative cyber-B2C2B, vertical, user-defined integrated reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The metrics for subscriber-defined re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without re-sizing, you will lack development. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C.