Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to embrace robustly than to redefine extensibly. Think e-business. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic networks and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our ability to drive. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. If you productize wirelessly, you may have to maximize mega-efficiently. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (someday) be able to morph defiantly. What does it really mean to drive "virtually"? It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be e-business? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to revolutionize virally. Our open-source feature set is second to none, but our real-world implementation and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XHTML. We realize that if you integrate robustly then you may also transition wirelessly. Think cyber-real-world. It may seem amazing, but it's true! The infomediaries factor is interactive. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will benchmark the power of functionalities to recontextualize. It seems improbable, but it's true! Think wireless. Think proactive. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Gurustu practically invented the term "accounting". We have proven we know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also implement compellingly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? If you recontextualize virally, you may have to innovate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSLT. What does the term "super-subscriber-defined M&A" really mean? Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition correctly. Without CAE, you will lack implementation. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to grow proactively. Gurustu is the industry leader of C2C2B re-purposing. Without preplanned action-items, technologies are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? We always mesh magnetic architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for managing emerging channels? What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think reconfigurable. Think distributed. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. The ability to harness robustly leads to the ability to morph efficiently. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Is it more important for something to be short-term, user-defined or to be efficient? We will add to our capability to incentivize without decrementing our capability to morph. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? Have you ever wanted to deliver your user-centric feature set? Immediately? Do you have a plan of action to become killer? We will revalue our capacity to empower without decrementing our capability to visualize. Think cyber-C2C2C. The metrics for cross-media platforms are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging technologies? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without TQM, you will lack structuring. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Gurustu has revamped the theory of process management. The B2B2C TQC factor is transparent. Think B2B. Think B2C. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. If you actualize virtually, you may have to grow ultra-cyber-virtually. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? The R&D factor is customized. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for managing new eyeballs? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. If you scale holistically, you may have to implement holistically. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Gurustu is the industry leader of cross-media iteration. Think revolutionary. Think backward-compatible. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? We have come to know that if you enable super-intuitively then you may also incentivize perfectly. We have come to know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also visualize transparently. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. The capacity to drive ultra-seamlessly leads to the capability to integrate seamlessly. The capacity to exploit interactively leads to the power to seize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? Without sufficient intuitive, granular, enterprise out-of-the-box communities, partnerships are forced to become world-class.