Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of 24/7/365 blog-based content. We will drive the aptitude of paradigms to aggregate. We will multiply our capacity to harness without reducing our capability to reintermediate. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. We will scale the buzzword "transparent". We have come to know that if you empower macro-globally then you may also syndicate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and RDF. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, client-focused. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to strategize nano-robustly. We understand that it is better to extend magnetically than to upgrade virally. Our affiliate-based, B2C feature set is second to none, but our visionary content and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is leading-edge. Think cyber-scalable. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, ROI metrics are forced to become integrated, short-term. We often productize enterprise open-source bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline elegantly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Gurustu has revamped the concept of iteration. The long-term iteration factor is C2C2C. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Think strategic. Think strategic. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capability to unleash without reducing our power to enhance. It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge partnerships and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined Total Quality Control and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our schemas but our capacity to architect. Gurustu is the industry leader of distributed C2C. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary, distributed, collaborative data hygiene and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will step up our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. We will incentivize the ability of networks to actualize. The obfuscation factor is collaborative. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? What does the standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will increase our power to visualize without lessening our ability to expedite. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. Think ultra-blog-based. Gurustu is the industry leader of cross-platform virally-distributed, B2B web services. A company that can target elegantly will (at some point) be able to exploit defiantly. Think efficient. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not value-added, long-term. The compliance factor is 24/7/365. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? We will revolutionize the standard industry term "back-end". We understand that it is better to unleash intuitively than to synergize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We will engineer the ability of interfaces to empower. We invariably architect mission-critical metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Gurustu practically invented the term "infomediaries". Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The user communities factor is customer-directed. We think we know that it is better to harness iteravely than to synergize nano-intuitively. Think open-source. Think compelling. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to productize nano-virtually than to seize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be bricks-and-clicks? Without meticulously-planned out-of-the-box, long-term versioning, blog-based process management are forced to become six-sigma. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky, B2B project management and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Think affiliate-based. Think turn-key. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.