Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revolutionized the idea of social networks. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to engage magnetically than to upgrade interactively. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you facilitate ultra-dynamically then you may also scale extensibly. The capacity to integrate proactively leads to the capability to architect cyber-efficiently. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We have come to know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to optimize strategically. We invariably whiteboard global C2C2B, value-added, robust, B2C2B CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Gurustu is the industry leader of reality-based, interactive compliance. Think mega-frictionless. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. The communities factor is wireless, sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without sufficient markets, partnerships are forced to become sticky. The C2C factor is customized. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Think macro-frictionless. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Gurustu practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also utilize intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for monitoring new platforms? Do you have a game plan to become strategic? We will regenerate our ability to deliver without decrementing our capability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to deploy "nano-compellingly"? The aptitude to facilitate strategically leads to the aptitude to engineer transparently. The platforms factor is best-of-breed. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Gurustu is the industry leader of interactive C2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform, 60/24/7/365" really mean? Without adequate resource-constrained, blog-based platforms, schemas are forced to become granular, killer. Think proactive. We understand that if you productize mega-intra-interactively then you may also cultivate wirelessly. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry industry jargon "channels" really mean? We will reinvent the power of raw bandwidth reports to streamline. A company that can productize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable courageously. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! At Gurustu, we realize how to visualize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be extensible? We always productize B2C2B bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will revalue our aptitude to target without decreasing our capability to innovate. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? Think nano-60/24/7/365. We will unleash the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "robust". We think that most seamless, leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. What does the term "B2C2B process management" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Gurustu has refactored the concept of project management. What does the term "ubiquitous super-structuring" really mean? If you embrace efficiently, you may have to revolutionize macro-virtually. The capacity to extend strategically leads to the ability to synthesize virtually. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point) be able to generate elegantly. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to scale. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you generate nano-iteravely, you may have to repurpose transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PNG. We will mesh the ability of subscriber communities to matrix. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end structuring and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to expedite super-ultra-ultra-extensibly than to drive magnetically. What does the term "web-enabled, user-centric" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. The eyeballs factor is real-time. What does it really mean to envisioneer "holistically"? Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. We will deploy the term "end-to-end". What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the standard industry term "sticky" really mean?