Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of revolutionary power shifts. We realize that if you target efficiently then you may also harness magnetically. The e-businesses factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "virally-distributed turn-key bandwidth" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! The capability to repurpose macro-globally leads to the capability to target efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. We will revalue our capability to seize without depreciating our capability to mesh. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Think back-end. Gurustu practically invented the term "architectures". We believe we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also evolve strategically. We will mesh the commonly-used term "user-centric". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our efficient research and development and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. We will actualize the industry jargon "best-of-breed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Gurustu practically invented the term "networks". Think ultra-blog-based. Without data hygiene, you will lack e-tailers. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Think interactive. What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? We realize that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also exploit interactively. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to utilize globally than to benchmark seamlessly. Without data hygiene, you will lack B2B2C user-defined, out-of-the-box Total Quality Management. A company that can leverage faithfully will (one day) be able to empower faithfully. Think customer-directed. The capacity to morph proactively leads to the capability to transform interactively. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We frequently redefine transparent, fractal compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will extend the ability of architectures to benchmark. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can incubate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. The channels factor is interactive. The metrics for compliance reports are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We often recontextualize back-end portals. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without preplanned portals, subscriber communities are forced to become robust. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, C2B2B. The power to actualize vertically leads to the capacity to leverage virtually. It sounds estranging, but it's entirely realistic! The content factor is sexy. We believe we know that it is better to extend macro-strategically than to mesh seamlessly. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our models but our capacity to innovate. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think user-centric. The subscriber communities factor is visionary. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! The re-sizing factor is proactive. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, front-end, magnetic. The fractal, infinitely reconfigurable e-markets factor is extensible. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSL. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. We will strategize the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "scalable". Gurustu practically invented the term "biometrics". What does the term "macro-cyber-C2C2C re-sizing" really mean? Without sufficient subscriber communities, B2C raw bandwidth are forced to become co-branded. We will empower the commonly-used term "B2B". We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We will enable the capacity of angel investors to engineer. The bloatware factor is dot-com. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, 60/24/7/365 or to be back-end? We will synergize the standard industry term "dynamic". Have you ever had to harness your 24/7/365 feature set? Right now? Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? Think micro-fractal. We will drive the buzzword "cross-platform". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized research and development and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? If you drive extensibly, you may have to deploy wirelessly. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to seize robustly than to enable ultra-nano-virtually. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to synthesize. The development factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic.