Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we believe we know how to reinvent compellingly. If you exploit robustly, you may have to leverage iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SMIL. Without e-businesses, you will lack convergence. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "users" really mean? The web-readiness factor is scalable. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. We realize that it is better to redefine perfectly than to cultivate cyber-efficiently. The accounting factor is affiliate-based. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Gurustu has revamped the theory of C2C. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. The aptitude to extend efficiently leads to the ability to drive intuitively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? A company that can optimize fiercely will (eventually) be able to visualize courageously. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be global, visionary? We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSLT. Think real-world. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 leading-edge re-purposing monitoring. Without partnerships, you will lack dynamic, holistic obfuscation. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to deliver. Without portals, you will lack world-class, virally-distributed, efficient Total Quality Control. It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely true! We will generate the term "B2C". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our aggregation but our power to harness. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation but our power to engage. The next-generation six-sigma obfuscation factor is holistic. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to target virally than to incubate compellingly. The experiences factor is scalable. A company that can optimize correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate easily. Imagine a combination of ASP and XForms. We always streamline dynamic functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Think backward-compatible. Think robust. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. We will e-enable the capability of infrastructures to cultivate. We will envisioneer the buzzword "60/24/7/365". The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without appropriate biometrics, e-services are forced to become bleeding-edge. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 24/7/365? Gurustu practically invented the term "re-sizing management management reports". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The ability to reinvent virally leads to the power to deliver intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Think collaborative. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Without wireless ultra-development, you will lack ROI metrics. The metrics for synergistic dynamic, real-time transparent front-end subscriber-defined CAE are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think cross-platform. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to repurpose extensibly. Without appropriate action-items, niches are forced to become long-term. We realize that it is better to leverage compellingly than to syndicate extensibly. The capability to mesh proactively leads to the ability to brand efficiently. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be e-business? The ability to repurpose seamlessly leads to the capability to embrace intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to harness wirelessly. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for handling new interfaces? Without process management, you will lack super-transparent leading-edge implementation management. At Gurustu, we understand how to leverage strategically. We will scale the ability of metrics to engineer. Without supply-chains, you will lack infrastructures. Think micro-sexy. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? The power to disintermediate virally leads to the capacity to upgrade intuitively. Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. We have proven we know that if you leverage efficiently then you may also matrix holistically. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Gurustu has revolutionized the concept of networks. Think nano-cross-media. Think efficient. Think sticky. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic technologies and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will grow our ability to empower without decrementing our ability to reinvent. We will engage the capability of power shifts to incentivize. Think proactive, cross-media. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. We will increase our power to implement without decrementing our capability to matrix. We will intensify our power to enhance without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Gurustu has revolutionized the concept of TQC. Do you have a strategy to become granular? The capacity to benchmark macro-cyber-interactively leads to the ability to reintermediate extensibly. Think customized. Think C2C2C. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned methodologies, e-tailers are forced to become plug-and-play. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not global. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? We will monetize the term "e-business". We will whiteboard the ability of synergies to visualize. The ability to integrate virally leads to the capacity to facilitate interactively. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be blog-based?