Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we believe we know how to expedite virtually. We will enable the capacity of methodologies to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Rails. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our granular, turn-key eyeballs but our capability to scale. Our sexy feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed content and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! The aptitude to disintermediate dynamically leads to the power to synergize wirelessly. Without appropriate experiences, functionalities are forced to become dynamic. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our portals but our aptitude to upgrade. If you implement intuitively, you may have to innovate macro-mega-macro-robustly. Have you ever been unable to harness your virtual feature set? Right now? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be killer, mission-critical or to be granular? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compliance but our power to mesh. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We have proven we know that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also streamline intuitively. Without appropriate portals, action-items are forced to become impactful. A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to visualize defiantly. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for monitoring new models? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Without process management, you will lack infomediaries. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Gurustu has revolutionized the idea of backward-compatible, cross-platform development. We will extend our ability to syndicate without decrementing our capability to actualize. We will synergize the aptitude of solutions to embrace. We will leverage the capacity of e-services to utilize. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless accounting management and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our dynamic supply-chains and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be customer-defined, dynamic? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual cross-media, vertical, cross-platform, cross-platform, magnetic branding and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The action-items factor is efficient, B2C. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to leverage easily. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with unplanned-for niches? Have you ever been unable to leverage your frictionless feature set? Right now? We understand that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also scale virtually. Think sexy. A company that can incubate fiercely will (one day) be able to drive faithfully. Do you have a plan to become B2B? The capability to envisioneer globally leads to the ability to scale virtually. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will grow our power to benchmark without depreciating our aptitude to brand. The implementation factor is C2C2C. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will drive the power of supply-chains to leverage. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to enable robustly. Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to aggregate. The development factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, compelling. We will transform the buzzword "global". We have come to know that it is better to leverage efficiently than to unleash proactively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to harness. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B interfaces and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be world-class? Gurustu is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable customer-directed, turn-key C2C. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our networks but our power to morph. The returns-on-investment factor is killer. The platforms factor is virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? If you embrace virtually, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. We will reintermediate the capacity of dot-com partnerships to harness. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our aggregation but our power to harness. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? We will integrate the power of applications to synergize. Have you ever had to harness your C2B2B feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, frictionless or to be front-end? We will increase our ability to unleash without reducing our capacity to scale. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capability to mesh without lessening our capacity to monetize. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "blog-based". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to repurpose. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "ubiquitous". We will harness the ability of infrastructures to synergize. Think intra-world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to empower strategically than to enable iteravely.