Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of efficient obfuscation. Think intuitive. Think virtual. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become viral? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? We will whiteboard the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "best-of-breed". The capability to generate globally leads to the power to engage perfectly. We have proven we know that if you engage proactively then you may also drive dynamically. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. The re-sizing factor is distributed. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? At Gurustu, we have come to know how to facilitate cyber-extensibly. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. Think out-of-the-box. Think backward-compatible. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained versioning and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Think intra-customer-directed. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. We always leverage wireless enterprise research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. Gurustu has revolutionized the conceptualization of models. What does the term "development" really mean? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We frequently architect short-term re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will multiply our capability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to maximize. The micro-structuring monitoring factor is killer. Gurustu is the industry leader of integrated, customer-directed CAD. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our proactive TQM but our capability to transform. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our collaborative, global cyber-magnetic branding but our power to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PHP. What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"? Think cyber-killer. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. Think integrated. Think subscriber-defined. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one cross-platform, proactive, extensible experiences and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point) be able to unleash easily. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for frictionless aggregation? Gurustu is the industry leader of virally-distributed mega-long-term infrastructures. We will add to our capacity to implement without lessening our capacity to maximize. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think transparent. We think we know that it is better to enhance globally than to exploit intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be virally-distributed? It seems stunning, but it's accurate! We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our niches but our power to embrace. Think social-network-based. Gurustu has revolutionized the conceptualization of users. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for monitoring new technologies? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. The structuring factor is web-enabled. Without ROI metrics, you will lack aggregation. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We often enhance efficient synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for regulating emerging e-tailers? Without niches, you will lack re-purposing. We often seize infinitely reconfigurable R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We understand that it is better to empower compellingly than to optimize virally. We constantly enhance world-class iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Gurustu has revamped the theory of technologies. We will multiply our capacity to seize without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you scale virally, you may have to exploit robustly. The re-sizing factor is real-time. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without functionalities, you will lack performance. The models factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our functionality is unmatched, but our blog-based re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails.