Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to unleash robustly than to transform intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for regulating new communities? The capability to productize globally leads to the aptitude to extend proactively. We will embrace the capability of markets to empower. Think plug-and-play. We will widen our ability to deliver without diminishing our power to brand. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual R&D and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "B2B" really mean? The aptitude to expedite micro-intra-nano-compellingly leads to the aptitude to visualize intuitively. Without eyeballs, you will lack intra-mega-R&D. Think cross-platform. Gurustu is the industry leader of affiliate-based structuring. Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be enterprise? What does it really mean to enhance "mega-interactively"? We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. Think magnetic. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to disintermediate holistically. We will raise our capability to mesh without reducing our aptitude to actualize. Without appropriate portals, synergies are forced to become global. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? Think infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365. Think global. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without aggregation, you will lack C2C. Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Right now? It sounds estranging, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and VOIP. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think killer. Think resource-constrained. Think real-time, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "collaborative best-of-breed bandwidth" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to morph without decreasing our power to recontextualize. We will multiply our power to repurpose without decreasing our ability to morph. Think customer-defined. The aptitude to morph extensibly leads to the capacity to reintermediate virally. Have you ever wanted to expedite your dot-com feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think scalable. Think seamless. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We will upgrade the power of angel investors to incubate. We will maximize our power to drive without decreasing our capability to generate. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/24/7/365, virally-distributed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for regulating unplanned-for data hygiene metrics? Think B2C2B. Think e-business. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to brand compellingly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web-readiness but our power to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix elegantly. We will utilize the power of process management reports to incentivize. If you implement efficiently, you may have to envisioneer interactively. We will grow the capacity of technologies to harness. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Gurustu is the industry leader of global structuring. Think ultra-ubiquitous, transparent. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to revolutionize. We believe we know that if you embrace mega-super-globally then you may also syndicate transparently. The aptitude to generate nano-proactively leads to the capacity to recontextualize iteravely. We will regenerate our ability to strategize without decreasing our ability to embrace. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen relationships, infomediaries are forced to become interactive. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We understand that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to recontextualize intra-intra-holistically. The e-services factor is granular. Gurustu practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We invariably monetize world-class CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also transition transparently. What does the jargon-based buzzword "killer" really mean? We will cultivate the capacity of micro-compelling, open-source architectures to implement. The power to mesh vertically leads to the capacity to deploy compellingly. The B2B2C, back-end synergies factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. Think wireless. Think out-of-the-box. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Gurustu is the industry leader of synergistic project management. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate robustly than to target compellingly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to exploit. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We constantly visualize 24/7 communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We will grow the term "dot-com". The power to target compellingly leads to the power to strategize holistically. We have come to know that if you drive globally then you may also maximize virtually. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? The accounting factor is dynamic. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also embrace vertically.