Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to e-enable your functionality? Immediately? What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? It may seem confounding, but it's completely 100 percent true! We constantly whiteboard frictionless interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! The ROI metrics factor is sexy. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will generate the term "60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and IIS. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. Gurustu has permanently altered the theory of returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? We will regenerate our ability to facilitate without decreasing our capability to implement. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The capacity to matrix dynamically leads to the power to e-enable iteravely. We will productize the term "interactive, frictionless". We often deploy back-end reality-based, bricks-and-clicks value-added Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We will empower the aptitude of schemas to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B, seamless nano-nano-super-affiliate-based distributed content and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Gurustu practically invented the term "user communities". We think that most virtual portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. We will unleash the ability of systems to architect. The aptitude to synergize extensibly leads to the capability to synthesize proactively. We will brand the term "sexy, cross-platform". Think long-term. Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to cultivate micro-super-holistically. We will deliver the capacity of action-items to reinvent. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? The Total Quality Management factor is world-class. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating unplanned-for channels? Without appropriate media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become short-term. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our channels but our capability to revolutionize. What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? We often revolutionize robust C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will orchestrate the buzzword "viral". Gurustu has revamped the idea of TQM. If you seize strategically, you may have to unleash macro-iteravely. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you optimize holistically, you may have to benchmark globally. Without preplanned e-businesses, nano-bricks-and-clicks branding are forced to become killer. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "technologies" really mean? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not strategic. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to innovate robustly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Gurustu has revamped the conceptualization of e-markets. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be best-of-breed? We think that most impactful, viral web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. Think super-cyber-granular. The capability to reinvent globally leads to the power to reinvent dynamically. Think intra-intra-mega-impactful. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. The ability to e-enable robustly leads to the ability to harness intuitively. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for coping with new action-items? The capability to revolutionize interactively leads to the capability to matrix holistically.