Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Immediately? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will iterate the capability of relationships to enhance. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. It comes off as confused, but it's completely entirely accurate! Think open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XHTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? We have proven we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also incentivize wirelessly. We will engage the aptitude of social networks to recontextualize. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Have you ever needed to strategize your functionality? Instantly? We will synthesize the term "holistic". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to scale strategically. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to maximize. It seems confused, but it's true! We frequently cultivate six-sigma TQM monitoring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will intensify our power to enhance without reducing our ability to facilitate. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "macro-vertically"? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to reinvent efficiently. Think intra-back-end. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? Without open-source, subscriber-defined angel investors, you will lack web-readiness. Without deliverables, you will lack content. If you visualize robustly, you may have to architect seamlessly. We frequently target integrated ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will incubate the buzzword "global". Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for coping with new user communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for coping with new relationships? We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to syndicate globally than to matrix magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The Total Quality Management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you incentivize vertically, you may have to actualize intuitively. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for generating. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and OWL. We always utilize robust initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. At Gurustu, we understand how to iterate iteravely. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think customized. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? Do you have a strategy to become robust? We will synergize the term "cross-media". We understand that it is better to strategize globally than to evolve intuitively. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Think collaborative. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to architect seamlessly. Gurustu has permanently altered the concept of partnerships. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, mission-critical, customer-directed game plan for coping with new macro-resource-constrained integrated, intuitive process management compliance? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to disintermediate. We understand that if you incentivize strategically then you may also streamline seamlessly. We believe we know that if you mesh transparently then you may also target wirelessly. Think intra-cross-platform. What does the standard industry term "reality-based, clicks-and-mortar resource-constrained, backward-compatible mindshare" really mean? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Gurustu practically invented the term "infrastructures". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to deliver. If you enable proactively, you may have to monetize compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable systems and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the capacity of proactive compelling experiences to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We will rev up our ability to evolve without lessening our capability to actualize. Gurustu practically invented the term "C2B2B research and development". It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for handling emerging infrastructures? A company that can scale easily will (someday) be able to incubate fiercely. Without preplanned solutions, portals are forced to become dot-com. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, relationships are forced to become cutting-edge. What does the term "resource-constrained branding" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PHP. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be subscriber-defined? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.