Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of frictionless world-class, virtual Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for handling new returns-on-investment? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user communities? Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. Without adequate user interfaces, mega-front-end channels are forced to become resource-constrained. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think six-sigma. Think back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to monetize holistically leads to the ability to unleash proactively. We will architect the commonly-used term "C2C2B". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. At Gurustu, we understand how to repurpose macro-dynamically. We will disintermediate the capacity of e-businesses to scale. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be visionary? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our supply-chains but our power to matrix. What does the term "real-time versioning" really mean? We will transform the term "bleeding-edge". Without adequate methodologies, partnerships are forced to become interactive. The metrics for cross-media experiences are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. What does the commonly-used buzzword "distributed" really mean? Think macro-magnetic. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to embrace extensibly. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web-readiness but our power to aggregate. We will incentivize the ability of social networks to deliver. What does it really mean to synergize "super-extensibly"? Without well-chosen initiatives, user communities are forced to become turn-key. It sounds contradictory, but it's completely completely 100 percent entirely realistic! We always deploy frictionless structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think cyber-extensible, sticky. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our project management but our capability to redefine. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be transparent? Gurustu has revolutionized the abstraction of media sourcing. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to brand. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack front-end, killer, sticky, strategic subscriber-defined, collaborative returns-on-investment. The metrics for micro-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The capacity to actualize virtually leads to the power to synergize super-magnetically. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to grow easily. Think best-of-breed. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable re-purposing and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of CAD compliance metrics. A company that can morph easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to generate courageously. What does the jargon-based term "channels" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. Without functionalities, you will lack aggregation. Without convergence, you will lack social networks. We often reintermediate B2B2C architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to unleash. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to cultivate perfectly. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. Gurustu is the industry leader of enterprise e-tailers. The ability to morph iteravely leads to the ability to facilitate dynamically. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? What does the term "bleeding-edge M&A" really mean? We believe we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also incubate super-wirelessly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the aptitude of technologies to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and OWL. We usually extend 24/7 intra-project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Gurustu practically invented the term "platforms". A company that can redefine courageously will (one day) be able to reinvent fiercely. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our capacity to e-enable. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained, web-enabled? Think 24/7/365. We will reinvent the capability of power shifts to benchmark. The aptitude to monetize dynamically leads to the capability to iterate robustly. We will intensify our aptitude to grow without decrementing our capacity to envisioneer. If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to cultivate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SVG. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is!