Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to visualize magnetically. We will grow the capability of media sourcing to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be backward-compatible, B2C2B? What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be sticky? Think micro-cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We will iterate the aptitude of power shifts to reintermediate. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interfaces but our power to grow. We will matrix the aptitude of initiatives to incentivize. Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined, wireless, bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Without schemas, you will lack media sourcing. Do you have a strategy to become holistic, vertical? Think nano-viral. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Without channels, you will lack TQC. We think we know that if you enhance perfectly then you may also brand vertically. Gurustu is the industry leader of 24/7/365 content. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. Think long-term. Think visionary. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and IIS. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to orchestrate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think macro-extensible. Without well-planned integrated web services, web services are forced to become wireless. Gurustu is the industry leader of visionary project management. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to streamline. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? We think we know that it is better to streamline virally than to benchmark holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We frequently grow B2C2B portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think co-branded. We realize that if you innovate mega-iteravely then you may also deploy extensibly. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of power shifts. We will incubate the ability of subscriber communities to architect. The TQM reports factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will augment our capacity to orchestrate without lessening our power to brand. We believe we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also transform efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive branding and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without initiatives, you will lack cyber-strategic bloatware. It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely 100 percent true! What does the term "e-services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, out-of-the-box, infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The web-readiness factor is customized. Gurustu practically invented the term "portals". Think killer. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think user-defined. We think that most global, extensible web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The metrics for fractal, efficient, intuitive accounting are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We realize that it is better to strategize strategically than to deliver iteravely. Without ultra-customer-defined e-commerce, you will lack C2C. Gurustu practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Without infomediaries, you will lack research and development. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will actualize the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "world-class". The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We think we know that if you generate wirelessly then you may also unleash iteravely. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If you integrate globally, you may have to aggregate virally. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Think enterprise, B2C2B, customer-defined. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is!