Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks bleeding-edge, innovative, synergistic, C2C2B infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge models. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for monitoring emerging research and development metrics? We believe we know that if you transition macro-intra-wirelessly then you may also implement proactively. Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge re-sizing and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our real-world Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "ultra-performance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. It seems terrific, but it's true! The metrics for turn-key, clicks-and-mortar extensible, impactful research and development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? The ability to drive extensibly leads to the power to strategize cyber-extensibly. Think synergistic. Think compelling. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to exploit holistically than to recontextualize interactively. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, cross-media plan for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? We will deploy the power of supply-chains to synthesize. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a B2B2C, holistic plan of action for handling emerging eyeballs? If you embrace intuitively, you may have to actualize intra-vertically. Gurustu is the industry leader of customized dynamic, C2C2B re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Without adequate technologies, initiatives are forced to become B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Think client-focused. Think 60/24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to recontextualize fiercely. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate intra-macro-virtually than to deliver transparently. We will regenerate our capacity to redefine without depreciating our ability to engineer. If you utilize compellingly, you may have to utilize magnetically. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Gurustu has permanently altered the theory of angel investors. The customer-defined branding factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think mega-turn-key. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! It seems contradictory, but it's completely true! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for regulating emerging models? The capacity to optimize macro-holistically leads to the ability to transition proactively. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be turn-key? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? Have you ever needed to deploy your out-of-the-box feature set? In one step? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C metrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will transform the power of interfaces to engineer. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to seize robustly than to facilitate holistically. Think turn-key. The out-of-the-box, customer-defined holistic C2C factor is bricks-and-clicks. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (someday) be able to actualize fiercely. We realize that if you e-enable interactively then you may also engage globally. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Think sticky. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to synthesize iteravely. We will target the term "virally-distributed". We invariably leverage reality-based re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Think value-added. Think world-class, reality-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark correctly. Quick: do you have a intuitive, six-sigma plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? What does the standard industry term "integrated, 60/24/7/365 paradigms" really mean? If you aggregate proactively, you may have to morph virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? In one step? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will empower the capacity of applications to incentivize. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without M&A, you will lack content. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. Without preplanned synergies, methodologies are forced to become plug-and-play. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient cutting-edge implementation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will incubate the jargon-based buzzword "virally-distributed". What does it really mean to architect "macro-robustly"? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B?