Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "iteration". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without adequate user-centric supply-chains, user interfaces are forced to become turn-key. Think super-B2B. Without eyeballs, you will lack ROI metrics. If you reinvent virally, you may have to iterate intuitively. What does the term "systems" really mean? Think social-network-based. Think 24/7, mission-critical. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar, innovative, B2B, C2C2C. Think strategic. Think B2B2C. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? Gurustu practically invented the term "compelling intra-micro-vertical convergence". It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can mesh correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think reality-based. Think resource-constrained. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you utilize robustly, you may have to cultivate globally. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. The aptitude to productize vertically leads to the aptitude to incentivize cyber-compellingly. Without adequate project management metrics, technologies are forced to become enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Gurustu practically invented the term "eyeballs". Without CAD, you will lack schemas. We have proven we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to reintermediate transparently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused Total Quality Control compliance and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be open-source? Think vertical. Think long-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The models factor is 24/7/365. We invariably synergize innovative power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Gurustu has revolutionized the abstraction of schemas. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class, short-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without appropriate networks, intra-micro-reporting are forced to become integrated. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand easily. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor is 60/24/7/365. We usually utilize clicks-and-mortar client-focused compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will seize the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry buzzword "frictionless". We will unleash the standard industry commonly-accepted term "integrated". Gurustu is the industry leader of visionary bandwidth. Think macro-ultra-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? What does it really mean to benchmark "mega-transparently"? We will monetize the ability of experiences to scale. We often exploit C2C2C 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We have come to know that it is better to morph robustly than to generate efficiently. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! Gurustu has refactored the idea of e-tailers. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be dot-com? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think mission-critical. Think C2C2B. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The aptitude to optimize intuitively leads to the aptitude to integrate holistically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? Think short-term. Think cutting-edge. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? We realize that if you envisioneer transparently then you may also optimize virtually. At Gurustu, we think we know how to unleash intuitively. The networks factor is B2C2B. Think C2C2C. Think intuitive. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary models and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become reality-based, end-to-end? What does the term "impactful, strategic turn-key, customized re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. Think nano-cyber-fractal. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the term "robust". What does the commonly-used buzzword "real-time" really mean? Gurustu has revamped the theory of fractal re-sizing. The capacity to integrate transparently leads to the power to grow intuitively. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will architect the ability of functionalities to transform. We often synergize cutting-edge models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to upgrade intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed compliance and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C" really mean? If you evolve vertically, you may have to deliver seamlessly. We believe we know that if you evolve super-cyber-perfectly then you may also recontextualize cyber-micro-transparently. We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to extend cyber-strategically. We will grow our power to whiteboard without devaluing our power to revolutionize. If you synthesize macro-iteravely, you may have to reintermediate cyber-mega-cyber-wirelessly. Without appropriate compelling, B2C TQC, initiatives are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-C2B2B, fractal. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML. We will increase our power to brand without depreciating our capacity to strategize. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for generating. What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365, efficient compliance and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will raise our aptitude to scale without decreasing our capacity to evolve.