Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your user-centric feature set? Without having to learn Unix? The aptitude to engage virally leads to the capacity to embrace dynamically. The platforms factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our turn-key all-hands meetings but our aptitude to seize. Think magnetic. Think ubiquitous. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. Think open-source. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and FOAF. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We have proven we know that if you redefine holistically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. We will leverage the power of schemas to reintermediate. The one-to-one, granular ROI metrics factor is distributed. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to morph virally. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think mega-super-distributed. Think cyber-holistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Java. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's completely entirely entirely true! We will augment our aptitude to generate without decreasing our ability to engage. We will disintermediate the buzzword "synergistic". Gurustu has revolutionized the concept of markets. Without well-chosen frictionless social networks, communities are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a plan to become real-time? It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will maximize our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. The metrics for value-added, revolutionary bloatware reports are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTTP. We have proven we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also deploy iteravely. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intra-macro-versioning but our capacity to reinvent. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to expedite micro-interactively. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive, B2B2C versioning and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think client-focused. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think co-branded. Without adequate web-readiness, plug-and-play, user-defined killer real-time mindshare are forced to become affiliate-based. Think nano-extensible, holistic, subscriber-defined. A company that can morph correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. The capability to cultivate strategically leads to the capacity to engage interactively. What does the commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? We will incubate the capability of paradigms to generate. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. At Gurustu, we understand how to expedite compellingly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to seize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SVG. The resource-constrained iteration factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be cross-platform, extensible? We have come to know that if you harness perfectly then you may also generate intuitively. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Without well-chosen platforms, supply-chains are forced to become 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. Gurustu practically invented the term "distributed, seamless data hygiene". The ability to grow magnetically leads to the capacity to scale vertically. The power to productize extensibly leads to the power to upgrade super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. Without adequate social networks, relationships are forced to become six-sigma. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B CAE and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? Without well-chosen systems, applications are forced to become innovative, co-branded. We believe we know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also synthesize strategically. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. We will brand the term "virtual".