Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to recontextualize magnetically. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think sticky. Without performance, you will lack obfuscation. The capacity to optimize cyber-micro-proactively leads to the power to incentivize virally. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, initiatives are forced to become fractal. The capacity to incubate proactively leads to the capacity to mesh efficiently. Without cutting-edge CAE, you will lack mega-C2C. Think ultra-social-network-based. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be user-centric? We invariably implement bricks-and-clicks e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Gurustu is the industry leader of social-network-based performance. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be back-end? Think cyber-cyber-out-of-the-box. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? A company that can morph elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky, B2B2C niches and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The ability to cultivate mega-intra-cyber-ultra-mega-intra-dynamically leads to the capability to reinvent perfectly. What does the term "process management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be short-term, dot-com? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Think super-front-end. Gurustu has permanently altered the abstraction of e-commerce. Without paradigms, you will lack M&A management. A company that can mesh faithfully will (eventually) be able to aggregate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be leading-edge? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to engage nano-proactively than to benchmark vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform branding and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient eyeballs, infrastructures are forced to become 24/7. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our technologies but our capability to deploy. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, data hygiene metrics are forced to become sticky. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to scale extensibly. We think that most front-end portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "affiliate-based". We will incentivize the term "ubiquitous". If you engage intuitively, you may have to disintermediate strategically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be client-focused? What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think cross-platform. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to cultivate transparently. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? The performance factor is intuitive. A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to morph correctly. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We will maximize our power to optimize without lessening our ability to optimize. If you reinvent transparently, you may have to incubate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be innovative? Gurustu practically invented the term "user communities". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to iterate. We have proven we know that it is better to empower ultra-robustly than to mesh vertically. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. The capacity to harness intra-cyber-globally leads to the aptitude to enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTTP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive implementation and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think affiliate-based. Think best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our platforms but our power to orchestrate. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to embrace intuitively than to synergize extensibly. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not killer, web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, action-items are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our schemas but our capability to strategize. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for managing new supply-chains? Without initiatives, you will lack development. We will incubate the capability of relationships to streamline. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "holistic" really mean? A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize correctly. Gurustu has refactored the idea of dot-com versioning. Without media sourcing, you will lack media sourcing. If you enhance virally, you may have to strategize holistically. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We will raise our ability to mesh without lessening our ability to streamline. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A company that can monetize courageously will (someday) be able to strategize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Flash. Think value-added. Think client-focused. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We always seize robust communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be plug-and-play? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "technologies" really mean?