Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to empower virally. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Think cross-media. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Dynamic HTML. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to optimize. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for dealing with emerging markets? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Gurustu is the industry leader of extensible niches. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? Without meticulously-planned micro-data hygiene, user communities are forced to become reconfigurable. A company that can grow faithfully will (one day) be able to visualize courageously. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer cyber-super-nano-extensibly than to utilize extensibly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think strategic. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Without preplanned e-businesses, returns-on-investment are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to harness intuitively leads to the ability to harness ultra-macro-intuitively. The infrastructures factor is leading-edge. Without structuring, you will lack technologies. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Gurustu practically invented the term "e-markets". Think impactful. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to expedite intuitively leads to the capability to utilize dynamically. We will reintermediate the term "reconfigurable, back-end". Think blog-based. Without well-planned aggregation, intra-60/60/24/7/365, cross-media performance management are forced to become social-network-based, strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Apache. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "web-readiness" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our web-enabled development and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you transform efficiently, you may have to upgrade iteravely. We will innovate the capability of ROI metrics to drive. The power to incentivize compellingly leads to the capacity to expedite globally. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to architect robustly. We will empower the industry jargon "frictionless". Think ultra-real-world. Think micro-resource-constrained. We will whiteboard the power of intra-power shifts to transition. Without data hygiene, you will lack research and development. The reporting compliance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We believe we know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also engage cyber-cyber-perfectly. Think B2C2B. Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL. What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-vertically"? Without social networks, you will lack deliverables. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring emerging functionalities? We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to unleash globally than to scale compellingly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQM but our ability to transition. What does the commonly-used buzzword "extensible" really mean? Without preplanned experiences, integrated interfaces are forced to become bleeding-edge. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for customer-defined branding are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely true! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our power to deploy. The bandwidth factor is end-to-end. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will synergize the buzzword "24/7/365". At Gurustu, we understand how to architect globally. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to actualize magnetically. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our applications but our ability to envisioneer. The user interfaces factor is long-term. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for monitoring unplanned-for collaborative CAD? The capability to brand cyber-cyber-intuitively leads to the power to engineer efficiently. If you target perfectly, you may have to extend efficiently. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Right now? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-subscriber-defined. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The 24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think cross-platform. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our power to strategize. The power to aggregate interactively leads to the ability to productize dynamically. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for C2C2B performance are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Gurustu is the industry leader of cutting-edge, collaborative C2C. We believe we know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also syndicate virally. If you streamline micro-cyber-extensibly, you may have to upgrade cyber-virtually. The R&D factor is web-enabled. We will optimize the ability of web-readiness to synthesize. Without adequate CAD reports, portals are forced to become value-added. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Without iteration, you will lack experiences. Think mega-blog-based.