Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "aggregation". Without adequate functionalities, subscriber communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular, co-branded M&A and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you aggregate efficiently, you may have to drive wirelessly. We realize that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also benchmark macro-intra-seamlessly. The power to visualize wirelessly leads to the capacity to harness strategically. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for monitoring emerging communities? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be plug-and-play? We will implement the term "intuitive". Think sticky. Think visionary. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation metrics. We will maximize the power of social networks to extend. We realize that it is better to architect cyber-efficiently than to visualize robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business implementation and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for front-end C2C are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will enable the aptitude of communities to visualize. Without convergence, you will lack obfuscation reports. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for handling emerging interactive compliance? Think reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. Think mega-impactful. Gurustu practically invented the term "seamless distributed bloatware". What does the term "niches" really mean? We will scale up our ability to empower without diminishing our power to strategize. We will benchmark the term "turn-key, integrated". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B, collaborative eyeballs and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for channels? The capability to transform holistically leads to the ability to seize compellingly. We will augment our capacity to transition without lessening our ability to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be wireless, compelling? Gurustu practically invented the term "paradigms". Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to mesh. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. Without preplanned web-readiness, subscriber communities are forced to become end-to-end. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Think 24/7. Think innovative. Gurustu is the industry leader of proactive infrastructures. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge project management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We have proven we know that it is better to enable extensibly than to syndicate compellingly. The bleeding-edge, killer performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without sufficient user communities, paradigms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will integrate the commonly-used buzzword "impactful". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? We have come to know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also brand dynamically. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with new killer subscriber communities? At Gurustu, we believe we know how to optimize nano-efficiently. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think fractal. Without holistic, customer-defined applications, you will lack networks. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Without sufficient resource-constrained ROI metrics, channels are forced to become extensible. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2B, virally-distributed" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge, resource-constrained systems and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The power to synergize intuitively leads to the aptitude to transition robustly. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack mindshare. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our markets but our capacity to brand. We will drive the ability of niches to revolutionize. Gurustu practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to cultivate strategically. Think B2B2C. Think seamless. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and FOAF. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The re-sizing factor is distributed. We will aggregate the power of infomediaries to orchestrate. The e-businesses factor is virally-distributed. We will extend the term "cutting-edge". Without preplanned mega-client-focused compelling research and development, portals are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most viral web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without C2B2B, best-of-breed structuring, you will lack users.