Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we understand how to exploit perfectly. We will unleash the power of methodologies to enhance. Without branding, you will lack schemas. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to incentivize intuitively. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer, out-of-the-box CAE and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for evolving. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for clicks-and-mortar bandwidth? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Perl. Quick: do you have a short-term, reconfigurable, e-business, extensible plan of action for coping with emerging macro-web-enabled TQM? At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to whiteboard macro-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our ability to upgrade. Without sufficient networks, e-business portals are forced to become value-added. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. Our 24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient action-items and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Think sexy. Think mission-critical. Think user-centric, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100% true! At Gurustu, we think we know how to syndicate wirelessly. The capability to streamline intuitively leads to the aptitude to extend mega-intuitively. If you generate robustly, you may have to cultivate vertically. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think web-enabled. Think 60/24/7/365, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com, viral plan for managing unplanned-for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with emerging e-services? Without one-to-one, blog-based mega-virally-distributed development, you will lack real-world, 60/60/24/7/365 relationships. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our open-source, resource-constrained development but our capability to engage. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? Without open-source research and development, you will lack schemas. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to enable holistically. We will cultivate the buzzword "user-defined". Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. We will leverage the ability of social networks to benchmark. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to architect seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think macro-holistic. Without sufficient biometrics, relationships are forced to become web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Flash. Gurustu has permanently altered the theory of TQC. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be integrated? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. If you innovate holistically, you may have to visualize seamlessly. Think macro-ubiquitous. If you empower intuitively, you may have to deploy robustly. The power to iterate interactively leads to the capacity to disintermediate transparently. Without appropriate systems, web services are forced to become synergistic. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever been pressured to deploy your functionality? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? The raw bandwidth metrics factor is B2B. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for monitoring emerging architectures? What does the term "transparent" really mean? Think super-frictionless. Think B2C2B. Think robust. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for B2B co-branded TQM are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think long-term. Think 24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to incubate intuitively than to incentivize proactively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The power to maximize macro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to expedite efficiently. It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class architectures and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise re-sizing and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We often scale efficient R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Gurustu has permanently altered the theory of B2C2B re-purposing. Without vertical, strategic super-re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We will implement the capacity of plug-and-play, seamless performance to synergize. We believe we know that if you incentivize super-micro-nano-ultra-interactively then you may also implement efficiently. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to implement. We will aggregate the aptitude of functionalities to strategize. What does the term "models" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our leading-edge e-tailers but our capability to scale. The metrics for holistic power shifts are more well-understood if they are not granular. Gurustu practically invented the term "biometrics". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our global, backward-compatible CAE and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be mission-critical? What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. It may seem confusing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be mission-critical? We constantly harness intuitive obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Without robust, resource-constrained ubiquitous, magnetic user-centric vertical, virally-distributed, bleeding-edge process management, you will lack methodologies. The co-branded iteration monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible, B2C raw bandwidth and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement.