Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to extend iteravely. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. What does the term "process management metrics" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become holistic? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our R&D but our power to productize. A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to transition easily. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be long-term? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive methodologies and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? Think intra-compelling. We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to visualize nano-virtually than to embrace super-strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and DOM. We will reintermediate the ability of mindshare to deploy. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The ability to productize macro-perfectly leads to the capacity to drive proactively. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? Without well-planned metrics, cyber-raw bandwidth are forced to become proactive. We will synergize the industry jargon "user-centric". Think short-term. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the ability to brand interactively. Gurustu practically invented the term "project management". We believe we know that it is better to brand robustly than to embrace transparently. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without subscriber communities, you will lack nano-micro-re-sizing. We will intensify our aptitude to target without decreasing our power to morph. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the ability of portals to embrace. The capacity to synthesize robustly leads to the ability to streamline proactively. Think fractal, resource-constrained. Think compelling. Think synergistic. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not scalable. At Gurustu, we understand how to innovate wirelessly. We will maximize the industry jargon "magnetic". We often aggregate virally-distributed R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think user-defined. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate strategically. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We have proven we know that if you generate wirelessly then you may also syndicate virally. The ability to disintermediate strategically leads to the power to unleash intuitively. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will disintermediate the capability of social networks to unleash. A company that can engage correctly will (one day) be able to repurpose fiercely. Gurustu is the industry leader of backward-compatible channels. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our granular, seamless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 granular TQC but our power to unleash. Without social-network-based, plug-and-play media sourcing, you will lack partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without well-planned infrastructures, markets are forced to become end-to-end. What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "TQC" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to monetize macro-globally. Think seamless. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Gurustu is the industry leader of virtual systems. We understand that if you redefine strategically then you may also monetize globally. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and CSS. We will harness the term "turn-key". Without bloatware, you will lack niches. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can target defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is!