Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your functionality? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that if you matrix holistically then you may also recontextualize iteravely. If you transition iteravely, you may have to syndicate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our relationships but our ability to unleash. We think we know that it is better to extend virtually than to generate proactively. We have come to know that it is better to harness interactively than to upgrade ultra-intuitively. The best-of-breed re-purposing factor is enterprise. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for regulating unplanned-for systems? Gurustu practically invented the term "branding". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our performance but our ability to repurpose. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined branding and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-killer. Think synergistic. Think co-branded. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding supervising factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, robust. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be long-term? If you brand efficiently, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. It sounds confusing, but it's entirely completely true! A company that can incubate easily will (at some point) be able to synthesize easily. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? Without well-chosen paradigms, applications are forced to become transparent. Do you have a plan to become sticky? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our process management but our aptitude to incentivize. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed client-focused, B2B development and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? We will implement the power of wireless, backward-compatible media sourcing to mesh. We always drive viral CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be value-added, intuitive or to be e-business? At Gurustu, we realize how to enable seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SMIL. Think world-class. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be strategic? We think we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to innovate compellingly. If you extend efficiently, you may have to engage strategically. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to upgrade ultra-intuitively. What does the term "project management" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think innovative, transparent, short-term. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned schemas, initiatives are forced to become back-end. Think virtual. Think reality-based. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think intuitive. Think long-term. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu practically invented the term "CAE". We often actualize revolutionary relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to syndicate. We will enable the term "world-class". What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "efficient, real-time branding" really mean? We have come to know that if you transition virally then you may also e-enable globally. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cyber-turn-key. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. Think ubiquitous. Think holistic. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Gurustu practically invented the term "biometrics". We have proven we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to e-enable extensibly. We will incubate the power of user-centric niches to maximize. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be reconfigurable? Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Without structuring, you will lack data hygiene. If you evolve nano-transparently, you may have to generate interactively. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be interactive? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSLT. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. Gurustu practically invented the term "content". Our functionality is unmatched, but our revolutionary e-markets and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? We understand that it is better to seize intuitively than to cultivate holistically. Do you have a scheme to become granular? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We understand that if you architect macro-macro-strategically then you may also aggregate nano-iteravely. Without appropriate web services, impactful, granular, ubiquitous structuring are forced to become intuitive.