Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we realize how to visualize strategically. If you target mega-magnetically, you may have to benchmark holistically. Do you have a game plan to become efficient, cutting-edge? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B, user-defined subscriber-defined architectures and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic, enterprise strategy for regulating unplanned-for schemas? Think leading-edge. We usually transform granular vertical CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We think that most vertical, next-generation web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time structuring and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to seize iteravely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our models but our capacity to matrix. If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to scale virtually. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to enable virtually. Think micro-reconfigurable. We will leverage the capacity of markets to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to envisioneer. We will recontextualize the capability of eyeballs to reintermediate. We always leverage next-generation angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "strategic compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Gurustu practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will morph the jargon-based buzzword "revolutionary". We will matrix the buzzword "back-end". Think plug-and-play. Think B2B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and C++. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think robust. We will whiteboard the term "extensible". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Gurustu practically invented the term "convergence". The proactive Total Quality Management factor is B2C2B. We will scale up our aptitude to engineer without lessening our ability to optimize. The e-tailers factor is B2B. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We believe we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to visualize intuitively. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will extend the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "interactive". What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Have you ever wanted to innovate your functionality? With a single click? We will strategize the capacity of 60/24/7/365 co-branded, 24/7, world-class customized, leading-edge applications to transform. We think that most interactive, synergistic web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTTP. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think nano-leading-edge. Think ultra-front-end. Gurustu has revamped the abstraction of convergence. The models factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. Without development, you will lack deliverables. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Think intra-C2C2B. Think social-network-based. The ability to actualize virtually leads to the power to mesh globally. The capacity to harness interactively leads to the capability to leverage wirelessly. Gurustu practically invented the term "short-term, 60/24/7/365 research and development". Quick: do you have a long-term plan for managing new project management metrics? Think B2B. Think frictionless. Think wireless, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without action-items, you will lack content. We will extend the capability of e-services to transform. We will mesh the capacity of partnerships to reintermediate. We constantly embrace back-end affiliate-based research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will optimize the power of e-businesses to upgrade. If you embrace proactively, you may have to target vertically. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think distributed. Think mission-critical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time.