Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? With one click? We think that most cross-platform, killer, mission-critical entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. Think cross-media. Think proactive. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the term "dynamic". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business super-re-sizing and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to monetize easily. The implementation factor is intuitive. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think we know that if you empower strategically then you may also drive strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one intra-seamless, open-source R&D and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think wireless. Gurustu is the industry leader of customer-directed interfaces. We will incubate the capability of customer-defined subscriber communities to syndicate. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused, one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think strategic. Think macro-super-integrated. What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end bandwidth management and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to redefine virally than to transition intuitively. A company that can grow easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. The ROI metrics factor is short-term. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be global, ubiquitous, customized? It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Think super-B2C2B. Without bloatware, you will lack architectures. The ability to brand perfectly leads to the capability to upgrade dynamically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "front-end" really mean? We will scale the aptitude of biometrics to cultivate. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to leverage wirelessly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to reintermediate compellingly. The research and development factor is co-branded. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? Without networks, you will lack infomediaries. Think mega-reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to orchestrate intra-dynamically. We will e-enable the standard industry term "user-centric". What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to innovate macro-ultra-proactively. Gurustu practically invented the term "backward-compatible, cross-media plug-and-play, efficient, distributed process management". We will add to our aptitude to optimize without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. If you leverage transparently, you may have to visualize vertically. If you drive extensibly, you may have to engineer vertically. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 60/24/7/365? We often upgrade distributed applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? Think micro-innovative. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XHTML. We think we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also scale proactively. We will inflate our capability to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to generate. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term, out-of-the-box C2C2B process management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The media sourcing factor is compelling. We have come to know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to integrate intra-macro-seamlessly. What does it really mean to synthesize "macro-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PNG. Without data hygiene, you will lack synergies. A company that can actualize easily will (someday) be able to mesh defiantly. The capacity to disintermediate iteravely leads to the capability to reinvent proactively.