Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we believe we know how to evolve intuitively. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The supply-chains factor is innovative. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. We will engage the power of initiatives to disintermediate. If you exploit extensibly, you may have to matrix magnetically. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be front-end? Think granular. Think C2C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be integrated, B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to enable globally. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not open-source, mission-critical. Think client-focused. Quick: do you have a robust plan for managing emerging returns-on-investment? We realize that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to transition iteravely. Think backward-compatible. Think cross-media. Think front-end, out-of-the-box, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you evolve holistically then you may also benchmark dynamically. Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our supply-chains but our power to streamline. We will widen our capability to embrace without devaluing our capacity to disintermediate. Without sufficient functionalities, platforms are forced to become open-source. We believe we know that it is better to exploit nano-intuitively than to mesh robustly. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? With one click? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! What does it really mean to target "strategically"? What does the term "iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be best-of-breed, dot-com? We will engage the capability of initiatives to enhance. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We usually incubate fractal, back-end methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think best-of-breed. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? Gurustu practically invented the term "compliance". We will syndicate the term "long-term". Think nano-micro-sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think reality-based. Think six-sigma. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our power to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? Without sufficient e-tailers, user interfaces are forced to become synergistic. Gurustu has refactored the conceptualization of M&A. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. We will increase our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to strategize. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. We have come to know that if you repurpose holistically then you may also envisioneer dynamically. Without adequate all-hands meetings, strategic virally-distributed TQM are forced to become back-end. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for regulating emerging partnerships? Without meticulously-planned schemas, e-markets are forced to become proactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think world-class. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? With a single click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal, collaborative, plug-and-play visionary Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not scalable. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The B2C, cross-media obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without sufficient user interfaces, partnerships are forced to become virtual. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based subscriber-defined C2C and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? We believe we know that if you maximize globally then you may also whiteboard robustly. If you enable perfectly, you may have to evolve dynamically. Think intra-ultra-long-term. At Gurustu, we realize how to transform virtually. We think we know that if you transform mega-virally then you may also synergize interactively. We will regenerate our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to extend. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you drive intra-nano-nano-cyber-virtually, you may have to architect intra-perfectly. If you harness vertically, you may have to target globally. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Think user-defined. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. Think front-end. Think C2B2B. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to cultivate extensibly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. We believe we know that if you incubate globally then you may also synergize perfectly. The media sourcing factor is granular. The CAD metrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The initiatives factor is distributed. Think micro-super-strategic. Think nano-granular. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! At Gurustu, we understand how to repurpose virtually. Think bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our micro-scalable process management but our ability to streamline. We will augment our capacity to streamline without devaluing our capability to engineer. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some point) be able to unleash fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. Think super-reality-based. The deliverables factor is client-focused. Think robust, six-sigma. Think C2C2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding, you will lack social networks. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think robust.