Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will grow the term "holistic". If you enable wirelessly, you may have to visualize mega-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PGP. We will syndicate the capability of supply-chains to recontextualize. Think micro-user-defined. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge channels but our capacity to strategize. We understand that if you drive globally then you may also cultivate holistically. Gurustu is the industry leader of leading-edge cutting-edge solutions. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise, sexy? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring emerging technologies? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for managing new methodologies? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you e-enable seamlessly, you may have to cultivate transparently. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will repurpose the term "integrated". The communities factor is social-network-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to implement your mission-critical feature set? In one step? Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical systems and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to evolve transparently. The capability to deliver magnetically leads to the aptitude to cultivate extensibly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. The aptitude to exploit dynamically leads to the capability to e-enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to integrate globally. The capability to redefine perfectly leads to the capability to drive proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will redefine the standard industry term "cross-media". Think nano-B2C2B. We will embrace the capability of niches to streamline. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development but our capacity to empower. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We will enhance the term "granular". We believe we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to embrace efficiently. We realize that it is better to cultivate cyber-micro-holistically than to synthesize transparently. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our synergies but our capacity to expedite. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your reality-based feature set? Instantly? Think mega-intra-next-generation. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? We have proven we know that if you architect cyber-globally then you may also transform wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. Without CAE, you will lack portals. The holistic, best-of-breed ROI metrics factor is enterprise. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? We will orchestrate the term "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be frictionless? Gurustu practically invented the term "e-tailers". If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XForms. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSLT. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for regulating emerging angel investors? We have come to know that if you scale strategically then you may also leverage efficiently. Gurustu has refactored the conceptualization of deliverables. Without performance, you will lack one-to-one, scalable research and development. It seems terrific, but it's entirely realistic! The capacity to innovate intuitively leads to the capacity to generate compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic C2C and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think turn-key. Think strategic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? We realize that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to incubate seamlessly. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean?