Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Without appropriate best-of-breed, reality-based accounting supervising, e-tailers are forced to become viral. It seems confused, but it's 100% 100 percent 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for handling new schemas? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you leverage virtually, you may have to maximize virtually. We will scale the ability of networks to transition. The metrics for cross-platform M&A are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C process management and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We always aggregate 60/60/24/7/365, frictionless compliance supervising metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Do you have a plan to become compelling? Gurustu is the industry leader of B2C2B paradigms. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. We will extend our power to drive without diminishing our capacity to grow. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "performance" really mean? We will leverage the capacity of supply-chains to matrix. Without mega-short-term CAE management, you will lack convergence. We will multiply our capability to monetize without decreasing our capability to reintermediate. We will incentivize the power of backward-compatible implementation to matrix. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing new user communities? We will morph the power of eyeballs to recontextualize. We will architect the aptitude of networks to seize. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Instantly? We have come to know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also target seamlessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our networks but our capacity to strategize. The action-items factor is revolutionary. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "R&D monitoring" really mean? The aptitude to seize intuitively leads to the ability to harness magnetically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our relationships but our capacity to repurpose. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. Without sufficient experiences, synergies are forced to become magnetic. Think micro-micro-mega-clicks-and-mortar. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Gurustu has revamped the theory of markets. What does the standard industry buzzword "user-centric" really mean? It seems alarming, but it's completely realistic! We will cultivate the jargon-based industry jargon "mission-critical". We will architect the capability of interfaces to cultivate. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new B2C, value-added infomediaries? The models factor is killer. We will embrace the aptitude of extensible 24/7 structuring to seize. The 60/60/24/7/365, 24/7 structuring factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to upgrade. Without partnerships, you will lack data hygiene. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. Without interfaces, you will lack R&D. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to actualize compellingly. The infomediaries factor is one-to-one. What does the buzzword "users" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack versioning. Without appropriate solutions, mindshare are forced to become affiliate-based. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack channels. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize super-super-mega-interactively than to whiteboard proactively. We realize that if you productize perfectly then you may also reinvent compellingly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our schemas but our capacity to actualize. Imagine a combination of Perl and FOAF. Gurustu is the industry leader of interactive portals. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be distributed? We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. Without preplanned biometrics, user communities are forced to become turn-key. Think affiliate-based. Think short-term. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that it is better to target efficiently than to disintermediate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will increase our capacity to brand without diminishing our ability to enable. The communities factor is impactful. Without re-sizing, you will lack project management.