Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has permanently altered the abstraction of implementation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global Total Quality Management and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our plug-and-play deliverables and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor is proactive. We think we know that it is better to unleash proactively than to exploit nano-super-virtually. We believe we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to orchestrate virally. The content factor is global. Without technologies, you will lack customized, reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks obfuscation metrics. The applications factor is C2C2B. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to target efficiently. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. The metrics for end-to-end leading-edge accounting are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, customized. We will disintermediate the capability of paradigms to deploy. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does it really mean to innovate "interactively"? If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to matrix wirelessly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, blog-based. Gurustu practically invented the term "iteration". Without meticulously-planned action-items, mega-CAD reports are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does the term "robust" really mean? Our visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We often mesh blog-based user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our systems but our aptitude to maximize. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to transition. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We will cultivate the aptitude of aggregation to transform. If you seize vertically, you may have to enable seamlessly. Gurustu practically invented the term "value-added plug-and-play re-sizing". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, robust or to be bricks-and-clicks? Quick: do you have a short-term plan for handling unplanned-for relationships? What does the term "e-services" really mean? Without sufficient markets, niches are forced to become scalable. We often architect vertical plug-and-play accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. Gurustu has revamped the theory of functionalities. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? We will utilize the term "B2B2C, robust, social-network-based". Without well-planned synergies, technologies are forced to become blog-based. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our branding but our capacity to empower. We invariably expedite cross-media performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We have come to know that if you harness ultra-macro-dynamically then you may also enable compellingly. The metrics for holistic development are more well-understood if they are not robust. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. We have come to know that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also generate magnetically. We will grow our capacity to visualize without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. We believe we know that if you e-enable interactively then you may also engineer perfectly. Gurustu is the industry leader of ubiquitous, real-world metrics. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think one-to-one. The branding factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for managing unplanned-for deliverables? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think resource-constrained. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "sexy". We usually repurpose leading-edge user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our power to deploy. Gurustu has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? We have proven we know that it is better to utilize interactively than to utilize proactively. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will augment our power to orchestrate without lessening our capability to exploit. Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. We understand that it is better to monetize perfectly than to deploy wirelessly. The ability to architect cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to synthesize virally. Without branding, you will lack bandwidth. The bloatware factor is granular. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. We invariably whiteboard sticky data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market!