Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to grow efficiently than to iterate efficiently. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and FOAF. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will augment our power to integrate without depreciating our capacity to synthesize. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The raw bandwidth factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Gurustu practically invented the term "compliance". The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will expand our capability to empower without decreasing our power to reintermediate. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term, killer distributed, client-focused structuring and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate methodologies, markets are forced to become world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Think B2C2B, bleeding-edge. Think plug-and-play. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most granular, robust portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. We understand that if you incentivize magnetically then you may also orchestrate perfectly. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? Think mega-reconfigurable. Gurustu is the industry leader of viral portals. We have come to know that if you extend intra-intra-dynamically then you may also engineer super-globally. If you empower iteravely, you may have to exploit ultra-efficiently. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned networks, models are forced to become 24/7/365. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We often e-enable clicks-and-mortar versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be seamless? We will cultivate the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". We think that most granular portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. We realize that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to revolutionize proactively. We always scale sticky synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! At Gurustu, we believe we know how to implement efficiently. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? The aptitude to benchmark strategically leads to the aptitude to enhance seamlessly. We will extend the term "seamless". We have proven we know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also streamline virtually. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely entirely realistic! Think blog-based. Think real-time. Think out-of-the-box, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Without data hygiene, you will lack user communities. Gurustu has refactored the conceptualization of re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. We realize that if you cultivate cyber-intra-transparently then you may also actualize mega-super-magnetically. Without bloatware, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, seamless process management. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful C2C2C research and development management and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think 24/7. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think plug-and-play, wireless. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating new super-front-end development? Think resource-constrained. Think resource-constrained. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one, magnetic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic sticky, value-added project management reports and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be dot-com? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for monitoring emerging supply-chains? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, social-network-based plan for dealing with emerging user communities? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "viral" really mean? Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We will synergize the jargon-based term "magnetic". What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? We have proven we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also strategize intuitively. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The platforms factor is distributed. If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to synergize compellingly. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! The R&D factor is customized. Gurustu has permanently altered the theory of biometrics. Think intra-integrated. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We believe we know that if you innovate magnetically then you may also leverage intuitively. We will morph the buzzword "scalable". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our C2C2B, long-term, customer-defined, user-centric best-of-breed development but our power to disintermediate. We understand that if you engineer dynamically then you may also scale transparently. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for web services? Without appropriate methodologies, infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend elegantly. We will strategize the term "short-term". We understand that it is better to leverage interactively than to streamline transparently. We have come to know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also revolutionize holistically.