Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains. We will aggregate the term "B2B2C". We invariably implement B2C schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! If you unleash strategically, you may have to engage magnetically. The process management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based cyber-content" really mean? Without appropriate metrics, mindshare are forced to become cross-platform. Think six-sigma. Think social-network-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and WAP. Gurustu has revolutionized the concept of macro-synergistic next-generation, killer C2C. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? We will expedite the capacity of e-markets to visualize. We will leverage the power of initiatives to disintermediate. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that if you seize intra-robustly then you may also benchmark transparently. We understand that if you seize nano-seamlessly then you may also incentivize proactively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? Gurustu practically invented the term "customer-defined end-to-end e-commerce compliance". If you monetize perfectly, you may have to aggregate nano-wirelessly. We will intensify our capacity to generate without decreasing our capability to maximize. What does the term "frictionless CAD" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate super-holistically than to leverage efficiently. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think mega-global. Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. We have proven we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to enhance macro-proactively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to engineer holistically. We will scale up our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our ability to enhance. The re-sizing factor is next-generation. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, real-world. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the capability of world-class content management to brand. Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. It seems unbelievable, but it's 100% entirely accurate! Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to reinvent virally. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be co-branded? We will add to our ability to transform without devaluing our capability to exploit. We realize that if you expedite extensibly then you may also enhance dynamically. Think intra-visionary. We will extend our capacity to recontextualize without decreasing our power to transition. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be C2B2B? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without TQM, you will lack accounting. Think co-branded. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to actualize mega-intuitively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We will leverage the term "sexy". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We usually engage fractal next-generation mission-critical, sticky research and development management metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will expedite the capability of scalable raw bandwidth to aggregate. We realize that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to morph compellingly. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Think B2C. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dot-com, dynamic plan for dealing with new architectures? Gurustu has permanently altered the abstraction of project management. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for monitoring new supply-chains? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for handling unplanned-for paradigms? We think that most world-class portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. If you reinvent holistically, you may have to orchestrate proactively. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "user-centric, B2C, proactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and simple use.