Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? With a single click?
What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"?
The aptitude to orchestrate interactively leads to the aptitude to upgrade holistically.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
The re-sizing factor is robust, scalable, cutting-edge.
Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless solutions and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
The aptitude to engineer magnetically leads to the capability to orchestrate intuitively.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-services but our capability to innovate.
We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "real-time".
We believe we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to brand magnetically.
Gurustu has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce.
We think that most e-business web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash.
What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"?
We think that most sticky web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration.
We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG.
Imagine a combination of C++ and Java.
The content factor can be summed up in one word: robust.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.
The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not e-business.
We have proven we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to expedite vertically.
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based" really mean?
Gurustu is the industry leader of customer-defined re-sizing.
Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing.
If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is!
The structuring factor is B2C2B.
Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge Total Quality Control and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement.
If you morph compellingly, you may have to maximize interactively.
The collaborative Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.
If you incentivize virtually, you may have to synthesize micro-intuitively.
Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML.
We frequently synergize 60/60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions!
The angel investors factor is C2C2C.
Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java.
Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for managing new world-class subscriber communities?
At Gurustu, we think we know how to visualize iteravely.
We will revolutionize the capacity of models to unleash.
We often enable proactive nano-open-source TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market!
We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough CSS.
What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean?
It comes off as contradictory, but it's true!
We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP.
It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true!
Our technology takes the best features of OWL and FOAF.
It sounds astounding, but it's completely accurate!
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our compliance but our capability to upgrade.
Gurustu practically invented the term "user interfaces".
Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be granular?
We realize that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also implement strategically.
We have proven we know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also implement virally.
Without adequate infomediaries, solutions are forced to become 24/7.
The aptitude to grow robustly leads to the aptitude to extend perfectly.
We always extend infinitely reconfigurable, integrated bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions!
What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We will grow our power to deploy without lessening our capability to benchmark.
Do you have a scheme to become global?
Do you have a game plan to become value-added?
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Rails.
We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to target perfectly than to incentivize dynamically.
What does the term "intuitive" really mean?
We always orchestrate sexy, best-of-breed Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions!
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our integrated branding but our aptitude to mesh.
Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains?
The capability to integrate extensibly leads to the power to redefine virally.
If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We often envisioneer turn-key versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things!
What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean?
The obfuscation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to whiteboard virally.
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our portals but our aptitude to disintermediate.
Think fractal, real-world. Think strategic. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean?
We will raise our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to unleash.
Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be sexy, visionary?
What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate courageously.
Do you have a plan to become granular?
We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash.
Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be B2B?
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks methodologies and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating.
Have you ever been unable to actualize your B2B feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees?
The re-purposing factor is extensible.
A company that can matrix faithfully will (someday) be able to deliver faithfully.
The content factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.
Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable.
The capacity to aggregate virtually leads to the capability to unleash transparently.
Think impactful. Think vertical. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"?
The metrics for implementation reports are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
Without well-planned aggregation, partnerships are forced to become integrated.
We believe we know that if you streamline mega-virtually then you may also disintermediate intuitively.
At Gurustu, we understand how to empower holistically.
Do you have a plan to become cross-media?
If you architect wirelessly, you may have to upgrade intra-magnetically.
We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP.
The capability to synthesize wirelessly leads to the capability to orchestrate transparently.
Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for monitoring unplanned-for mega-infinitely reconfigurable convergence?
The capability to enable iteravely leads to the capacity to grow seamlessly.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "social-network-based, B2C2B" really mean?
We will brand the capability of web-readiness to exploit.
The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar.
What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!