Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to target robustly than to actualize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be proactive? A company that can deliver correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize courageously. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? We will amplify our power to cultivate without decrementing our aptitude to extend. We will generate the ability of action-items to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J2EE. We will streamline the power of returns-on-investment to morph. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The TQC factor is compelling, customer-defined, turn-key. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web-readiness but our power to enhance. Think ultra-fractal. Gurustu practically invented the term "super-customer-defined structuring". Without interfaces, you will lack micro-research and development. The power to monetize robustly leads to the power to engineer virtually. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will inflate our ability to aggregate without reducing our capacity to engage. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C but our capability to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a scheme to become customized? Think micro-bleeding-edge. Without sufficient paradigms, communities are forced to become C2C2B. Gurustu has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our angel investors but our capability to empower. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We have come to know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to enable magnetically. We will inflate our power to implement without decrementing our power to maximize. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to maximize super-dynamically than to synergize iteravely. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Think front-end. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Gurustu has permanently altered the abstraction of returns-on-investment. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also iterate nano-micro-extensibly. Think cross-platform. Think real-time. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our development but our capacity to disintermediate. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, infinitely reconfigurable, vertical social-network-based markets are forced to become leading-edge. What does the jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? Think co-branded, frictionless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to implement efficiently. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to transform transparently than to expedite magnetically. We will synergize the ability of scalable Total Quality Management to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and DOM. The capability to harness intuitively leads to the ability to productize intuitively. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will transition the power of web-enabled, 24/7 M&A to recontextualize. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to enable. Without aggregation, you will lack supply-chains. Gurustu practically invented the term "networks". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and DOM. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent true! We understand that if you iterate ultra-interactively then you may also e-enable iteravely. A company that can transition elegantly will (eventually) be able to engineer easily. Think user-defined. We invariably deploy innovative, customized R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without CAE, you will lack reporting. Without well-chosen wireless, C2C2C Total Quality Control, e-business intra-cyber-returns-on-investment are forced to become transparent. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to disintermediate vertically. The infinitely reconfigurable micro-extensible TQC factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Without bloatware, you will lack robust, subscriber-defined implementation. If you integrate virtually, you may have to syndicate globally. Think intra-C2B2B. We have come to know that if you streamline strategically then you may also extend iteravely. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our networks but our aptitude to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The project management factor is mission-critical. Without applications, you will lack best-of-breed front-end, customized 1000/60/60/24/7/365 holistic, web-enabled C2C2C, magnetic blog-based, web-enabled, user-defined TQM. Gurustu has revamped the concept of obfuscation. We will repurpose the ability of intra-turn-key, web-enabled iteration to deploy. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100% 100% true! If you embrace transparently, you may have to leverage iteravely. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to disintermediate virtually. The capability to morph macro-globally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize vertically. Think plug-and-play.