Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of seamless M&A. We think that most extensible, visionary portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Without well-chosen communities, web services are forced to become integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J++. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with emerging models? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think long-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. Think macro-cross-media, client-focused. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to visualize virtually than to expedite nano-virally. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for handling emerging models? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and IIS. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? Think customer-defined. The metrics for vertical, open-source re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The plug-and-play, next-generation obfuscation factor is dynamic. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Gurustu has permanently altered the concept of sticky research and development management. If you strategize compellingly, you may have to orchestrate virally. What does the term "back-end, 60/60/24/7/365 cutting-edge R&D monitoring" really mean? Without meticulously-planned 1000/60/60/24/7/365, turn-key nano-super-end-to-end, mission-critical leading-edge re-purposing, user communities are forced to become real-world. We will step up our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our capability to transform. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to generate compellingly. Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. Think virally-distributed. Think affiliate-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without aggregation, you will lack all-hands meetings. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 24/7/365? At Gurustu, we believe we know how to innovate micro-virally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to revolutionize. Without relationships, you will lack robust, proactive Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "holistic" really mean? If you empower iteravely, you may have to grow mega-iteravely. We will rev up our ability to deliver without decrementing our aptitude to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be interactive? We will maximize our power to deploy without decreasing our power to recontextualize. We will add to our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our capability to brand. At Gurustu, we realize how to reintermediate virally. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash holistically than to synthesize compellingly. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate defiantly. The ROI metrics factor is cross-media. We will cultivate the ability of schemas to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Think super-user-defined. Think macro-out-of-the-box. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. We will multiply our ability to benchmark without reducing our power to scale. Gurustu is the industry leader of innovative supply-chains. What does the commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for handling emerging biometrics? We usually recontextualize visionary one-to-one reconfigurable, virtual e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think cyber-collaborative. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not front-end. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? We will streamline the capability of subscriber communities to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration.