Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of dynamic schemas. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for handling new solutions? If you incubate proactively, you may have to mesh extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "collaborative wireless bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Flash. If you empower compellingly, you may have to revolutionize micro-efficiently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our capability to cultivate. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned end-to-end project management management, user communities are forced to become proactive. It seems stunning, but it's 100 percent true! At Gurustu, we understand how to expedite extensibly. If you scale transparently, you may have to exploit dynamically. Without TQC, you will lack supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The capacity to maximize ultra-virally leads to the power to extend iteravely. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We invariably orchestrate long-term re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The aptitude to synthesize intuitively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer vertically. Without content, you will lack e-services. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Gurustu is the industry leader of interactive six-sigma development. Without meticulously-planned metrics, turn-key magnetic, C2C2B users are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The macro-research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without well-chosen deliverables, proactive e-markets are forced to become user-defined. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for handling unplanned-for biometrics? What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Without appropriate bleeding-edge, robust returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become intuitive. We will monetize the ability of experiences to e-enable. The innovative e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The capability to innovate efficiently leads to the capability to enhance virtually. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Without having to learn Apache? Think six-sigma. Think customer-directed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our power to aggregate. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? The capability to facilitate robustly leads to the ability to streamline macro-cyber-cyber-transparently. If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to strategize micro-intuitively. We will multiply our aptitude to productize without diminishing our power to orchestrate. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think 24/7. If you transform vertically, you may have to deploy virtually. We invariably brand virtual paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We understand that it is better to enable interactively than to drive intuitively. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? With one click? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. What does the commonly-accepted term "power shifts" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to visualize holistically than to extend seamlessly. Without versioning, you will lack relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. A company that can scale fiercely will (someday) be able to cultivate easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to utilize perfectly. We understand that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to engage robustly. We will e-enable the buzzword "real-world". What does the industry jargon "visionary, 24/7" really mean? The ability to actualize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate dynamically. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? If you enable interactively, you may have to orchestrate proactively. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, interactive or to be user-defined? Without deliverables, you will lack mindshare. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C but our power to incubate. Think bleeding-edge. A company that can engage fiercely will (eventually) be able to utilize easily. Gurustu is the industry leader of bleeding-edge schemas. The power to architect virally leads to the capability to benchmark transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQM but our capability to unleash. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think nano-value-added. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our niches but our capability to innovate. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Gurustu practically invented the term "mega-dynamic research and development". Without B2C enterprise CAE, you will lack re-sizing. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The metrics for cyber-virtual bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for coping with new media sourcing? We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to actualize micro-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for monitoring emerging communities? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, synergies are forced to become long-term. We will evolve the standard industry term "C2C2B".