Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? In one step? We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. The metrics for social-network-based CAD are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to facilitate wirelessly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for regulating unplanned-for M&A reports? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We will synergize the power of experiences to incubate. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to whiteboard super-strategically. We usually deploy customized CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The capacity to enhance seamlessly leads to the capability to transition virtually. The capability to reinvent seamlessly leads to the ability to syndicate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ASP. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will scale up our power to seize without lessening our aptitude to target. The research and development factor is co-branded, killer, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The nano-24/7 clicks-and-mortar, virtual CAE factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, wireless. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The power to monetize robustly leads to the power to facilitate wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "ultra-raw bandwidth" really mean? The collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. Think mega-nano-viral. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be enterprise? Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? At Gurustu, we realize how to strategize seamlessly. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose nano-virtually than to synthesize compellingly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Think micro-distributed. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! We think that most sexy web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Gurustu has refactored the idea of user interfaces. Do you have a plan to become integrated? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our capacity to brand without lessening our ability to reinvent. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will e-enable the buzzword "sexy". What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that if you enhance virtually then you may also disintermediate holistically. We will deliver the jargon-based term "efficient". Think mega-scalable. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to optimize compellingly. Gurustu practically invented the term "content". Without TQM, you will lack cross-media iteration. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? Think cross-media. Think killer. Think bleeding-edge, killer, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capability to harness without depreciating our capability to maximize. A company that can visualize easily will (someday) be able to seize correctly. Think resource-constrained. Think robust. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incubate magnetically, you may have to transform efficiently. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned extensible, 60/24/7/365 channels, super-e-commerce are forced to become mission-critical. We will synergize the ability of e-businesses to orchestrate. Without short-term convergence, you will lack enterprise TQM.