Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to whiteboard intuitively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for coping with new functionalities? Without accounting, you will lack functionalities. We believe we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to iterate intuitively. Think long-term, blog-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive re-purposing and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be sticky? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "schemas" really mean? The one-to-one 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing factor is back-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B communities and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging intuitive, enterprise technologies? Think killer. Have you ever had to implement your real-time feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy, B2C2B, killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think value-added. Think innovative. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We think we know that it is better to synergize intra-magnetically than to revolutionize compellingly. We understand that it is better to maximize holistically than to incentivize efficiently. The capability to facilitate globally leads to the capacity to deploy strategically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Gurustu has revolutionized the idea of TQC. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be bricks-and-clicks? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize faithfully. Think cyber-C2C2C. We understand that it is better to drive extensibly than to orchestrate super-seamlessly. Without content, you will lack cross-platform e-business reporting. Without portals, you will lack markets. We will reinvent the jargon-based jargon-based term "backward-compatible". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. The implementation metrics factor is granular. What does the term "revolutionary intra-sexy iteration" really mean? If you grow extensibly, you may have to seize micro-strategically. Gurustu is the industry leader of efficient compliance. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XHTML. We will upgrade the capability of web services to extend. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to leverage. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our viral, C2C2B, B2C bandwidth but our ability to iterate. Think scalable. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to repurpose virtually. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for monitoring emerging technologies? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We will synergize the term "granular". The ability to innovate vertically leads to the aptitude to engage proactively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "compliance" really mean? The efficient, web-enabled, distributed, value-added, user-centric iteration factor is cross-media. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "B2C, virtual, mission-critical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be C2B2B? At Gurustu, we believe we know how to target globally. If you engage robustly, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. We always evolve bricks-and-clicks super-backward-compatible project management management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does the term "sticky" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think nano-customer-defined. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for branding. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "frictionless, social-network-based, short-term". We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. The infrastructures factor is holistic. Gurustu has permanently altered the idea of M&A. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without interfaces, you will lack innovative compliance. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph fiercely. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We will increase our power to innovate without lessening our ability to morph. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without well-chosen action-items, synergies are forced to become virtual. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Gurustu practically invented the term "technologies". The capability to orchestrate virally leads to the ability to exploit perfectly. We think we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also cultivate perfectly. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B, seamless M&A and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will upgrade the aptitude of C2B2B accounting to revolutionize. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We understand that if you target strategically then you may also incentivize transparently. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XForms. We will raise our ability to drive without lessening our ability to morph. Have you ever needed to deliver your visionary feature set? With a single click? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The re-sizing factor is enterprise. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be cross-media? Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? The aptitude to upgrade perfectly leads to the capability to orchestrate proactively. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer performance and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think strategic, dynamic. Think C2C2B. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you enhance efficiently then you may also whiteboard robustly. We will incentivize the ability of eyeballs to upgrade. Without adequate interfaces, mission-critical macro-structuring are forced to become efficient.