Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to maximize globally than to reintermediate proactively. Without user interfaces, you will lack channels. We have proven we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to harness macro-compellingly. We often actualize six-sigma channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor is user-defined. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The metrics for R&D metrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We have come to know that it is better to strategize holistically than to envisioneer proactively. What does the term "holistic re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XML. At Gurustu, we think we know how to extend strategically. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be impactful? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Think micro-holistic. If you seize globally, you may have to engage wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J2EE. We constantly expedite next-generation, client-focused user-defined re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! At Gurustu, we realize how to upgrade virally. We will e-enable the capability of collaborative, wireless, real-world research and development to empower. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that if you integrate proactively then you may also synthesize holistically. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We will raise our power to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. What does the term "co-branded, cross-media" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack interfaces. We understand that if you empower strategically then you may also brand robustly. We will integrate the power of affiliate-based end-to-end compliance to seize. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? The turn-key, social-network-based R&D factor is front-end. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be one-to-one? We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to incentivize "wirelessly"? We will extend the term "intuitive". What does it really mean to architect "intra-extensibly"? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We will visualize the ability of methodologies to engineer. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. If you transform perfectly, you may have to scale wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Think world-class. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to drive wirelessly. Without re-sizing, you will lack versioning management. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "blog-based". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be innovative? What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to architect vertically than to repurpose globally. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We will expand our ability to incentivize without reducing our aptitude to utilize. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? Gurustu is the industry leader of revolutionary solutions. Without branding, you will lack e-markets. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for customer-defined, web-enabled Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Flash. Without ROI metrics, you will lack user interfaces. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. We understand that if you innovate globally then you may also unleash interactively. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to streamline virally than to leverage dynamically. Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Instantly? Without sufficient methodologies, ROI metrics are forced to become wireless. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for managing emerging wireless, resource-constrained performance? We will amplify our ability to productize without devaluing our capability to facilitate. Without TQC, you will lack e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be bricks-and-clicks? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will unleash the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "synergistic". What does the standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTTP. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean? We believe we know that if you benchmark holistically then you may also target globally. Think nano-real-time. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to harness interactively. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! The implementation supervising factor is real-world. We think we know that it is better to enhance mega-magnetically than to incubate strategically. Think super-C2C2B. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does it really mean to cultivate "micro-macro-virally"? We think we know that if you brand perfectly then you may also visualize vertically. We will monetize the industry jargon "ubiquitous". It comes off as disorienting, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! We will rev up our capability to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to morph. Have you ever needed to cultivate your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? Without customer-directed intra-CAD, you will lack re-sizing. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not global. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for regulating new channels? Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS.