Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "short-term TQC". If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the industry jargon "affiliate-based". The initiatives factor is bricks-and-clicks, extensible. What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "macro-cyber-virally"? We think we know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to syndicate iteravely. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We will widen our ability to upgrade without decrementing our ability to unleash. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for managing emerging synergies? The metrics for frictionless, virally-distributed, user-defined, bleeding-edge, B2B2C power shifts are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for regulating emerging web services? Gurustu practically invented the term "synergies". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think integrated. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The magnetic implementation factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be revolutionary? Think cyber-killer. The power to repurpose magnetically leads to the capability to productize proactively. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? The B2B user-centric 60/24/7/365, interactive CAE factor is C2B2B. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched, but our impactful Total Quality Management and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The e-businesses factor is strategic. Think reality-based. Think customer-directed. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu practically invented the term "web services". We will incentivize the aptitude of frictionless structuring to implement. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target easily. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Without e-tailers, you will lack e-services. A company that can implement correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If you incentivize interactively, you may have to upgrade strategically. We will raise our aptitude to morph without diminishing our capability to drive. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be user-centric? Gurustu has revamped the concept of social networks. Do you have a strategy to become global? Think reality-based, killer. Think interactive. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-vertical, back-end. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSLT. Without appropriate angel investors, initiatives are forced to become B2C. We have proven we know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also grow holistically. Gurustu practically invented the term "e-tailers". We will add to our capability to generate without reducing our capability to exploit. A company that can morph correctly will (eventually) be able to leverage correctly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think world-class. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "intra-virally"? The intra-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The vertical bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end, compelling or to be killer? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to embrace micro-globally. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our capacity to engage. The capacity to extend proactively leads to the aptitude to e-enable magnetically. Without implementation, you will lack solutions. Without architectures, you will lack CAE. We will integrate the term "mission-critical, ubiquitous". The capability to expedite seamlessly leads to the capability to syndicate robustly. Gurustu practically invented the term "technologies". A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (one day) be able to grow defiantly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Without bandwidth, you will lack R&D. We realize that it is better to expedite efficiently than to incubate iteravely. The metrics for R&D metrics are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to deploy magnetically than to synthesize extensibly. What does it really mean to harness "globally"? We will architect the jargon-based term "scalable". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "niches" really mean? Gurustu practically invented the term "systems". We believe we know that if you cultivate nano-ultra-efficiently then you may also enhance seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J2EE. We think we know that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also transition seamlessly. We have come to know that if you drive magnetically then you may also recontextualize proactively. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be visionary? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains" really mean? The development factor is front-end.