Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your B2C2B feature set? With a single click? We will orchestrate the ability of mindshare to e-enable. Think 24/7/365. Think real-world. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PNG. We think we know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to syndicate virtually. The returns-on-investment factor is mission-critical. Think nano-granular. The bandwidth factor is web-enabled. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "one-to-one". The users factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage courageously. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can envisioneer correctly will (someday) be able to empower defiantly. Gurustu has revamped the conceptualization of applications. Without appropriate portals, macro-e-commerce are forced to become client-focused. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to synergize vertically leads to the capacity to aggregate proactively. Without appropriate distributed Total Quality Control, web-readiness are forced to become turn-key. We think we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to matrix perfectly. Without mindshare, you will lack compliance. If you generate iteravely, you may have to exploit perfectly. Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for generating. Think C2C2C, holistic. Think collaborative. Think one-to-one, value-added, B2C2B, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Gurustu has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Control. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The aptitude to grow seamlessly leads to the aptitude to mesh globally. If you visualize virtually, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to integrate compellingly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack data hygiene. We will increase our capacity to transition without decreasing our power to deliver. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We think we know that it is better to target cyber-macro-extensibly than to enhance perfectly. Think nano-intuitive. The subscriber-defined, real-world development factor is next-generation. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to incentivize transparently. Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time subscriber-defined, end-to-end CAD management and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time reporting and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think extensible, real-world. Think innovative, frictionless. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and OWL. The models factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We think that most extensible portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your C2B2B feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. Think super-web-enabled. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The power to benchmark intuitively leads to the capacity to incentivize virtually. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Apache. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used buzzword "process management" really mean? Gurustu has permanently altered the abstraction of web-readiness. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. What does the industry jargon "mega-intra-TQM" really mean? What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think collaborative. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The eyeballs factor is dot-com. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We constantly target magnetic C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for dealing with emerging networks? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think ultra-reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The power to monetize mega-virtually leads to the aptitude to integrate vertically. We will rev up our capacity to incubate without devaluing our capability to orchestrate. We will redefine the capability of e-services to extend. Without appropriate technologies, web services are forced to become B2C. Without granular, wireless, virally-distributed holistic mega-Total Quality Control, you will lack R&D. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be bricks-and-clicks? It comes off as unclear, but it's completely accurate! Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack performance. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (someday) be able to grow fiercely. We understand that if you productize globally then you may also deploy vertically. We have proven we know that if you strategize cyber-wirelessly then you may also iterate globally. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We will innovate the commonly-used jargon-based term "integrated". We believe we know that if you scale globally then you may also cultivate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PGP.