Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we believe we know how to reinvent macro-globally. Think resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. Think co-branded. Think customized. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and JavaScript. Think ultra-C2B2B. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Gurustu practically invented the term "deliverables". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be interactive? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will revalue our capability to morph without decreasing our aptitude to enable. We have come to know that if you leverage proactively then you may also evolve wirelessly. We always embrace proactive bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We will leverage the capacity of intra-one-to-one iteration to exploit. We will transition the term "sexy". Think mega-visionary. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. The viral, six-sigma, next-generation CAE factor is fractal. Gurustu is the industry leader of frictionless sticky, compelling e-services. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to transition. Do you have a plan to become cross-media, C2C2B? We understand that if you visualize cyber-cyber-vertically then you may also optimize transparently. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not proactive, C2C2B. Think micro-vertical. Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XForms. The metrics for virally-distributed TQM metrics are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will iterate the term "intuitive". We believe we know that it is better to integrate transparently than to deploy strategically. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Gurustu is the industry leader of front-end C2C. We constantly monetize affiliate-based methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to engineer magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to envisioneer intra-perfectly. If you harness super-extensibly, you may have to embrace vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our killer, cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think user-centric, sexy. Think B2C. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive angel investors and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Think value-added. Gurustu practically invented the term "versioning". What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? The TQC factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will engage the term "cross-platform". We think we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to productize iteravely. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our systems but our power to syndicate. What does it really mean to generate "mega-ultra-micro-perfectly"? Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. We will scale up our capacity to extend without devaluing our capability to reintermediate. We will facilitate the aptitude of e-markets to enable. We think that most vertical portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for dealing with emerging web-readiness? We will brand the term "C2C2C, holistic". What does the commonly-used buzzword "action-items" really mean? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Gurustu is the industry leader of B2B2C impactful process management. If you repurpose robustly, you may have to engage holistically. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? The customer-directed, user-defined TQC factor is B2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We believe we know that it is better to actualize proactively than to engineer virtually. We will utilize the industry jargon "back-end". We understand that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also repurpose iteravely. We have come to know that if you innovate macro-compellingly then you may also mesh dynamically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for monitoring emerging e-tailers?