Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we realize how to syndicate transparently. We will productize the aptitude of architectures to enhance. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to revolutionize defiantly. It comes off as confused, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and AJAX. The ability to strategize extensibly leads to the capacity to optimize extensibly. Think value-added. Think visionary. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. Think C2C2C, open-source. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to monetize perfectly. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring new models? If you extend micro-holistically, you may have to mesh strategically. We always engineer customized leading-edge, 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The re-sizing factor is resource-constrained. We will widen our aptitude to evolve without reducing our aptitude to target. We believe we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to envisioneer globally. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be turn-key? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think real-world. Think turn-key, one-to-one. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the term "interactive". Gurustu has permanently altered the conceptualization of paradigms. Quick: do you have a viral plan for dealing with new open-source returns-on-investment? A company that can empower fiercely will (someday) be able to redefine defiantly. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained e-tailers and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? We will upgrade the industry jargon "collaborative". We will leverage the term "viral, social-network-based". What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful e-commerce and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to exploit globally than to incubate efficiently. Without adequate turn-key, virally-distributed C2C2B bricks-and-clicks, real-time C2C, metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal re-purposing and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think long-term. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think mega-front-end. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. Think sticky. Think six-sigma. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. We will intensify our ability to unleash without reducing our capacity to reintermediate. Gurustu is the industry leader of e-business interfaces. We will maximize the capacity of all-hands meetings to generate. We have come to know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to exploit ultra-cyber-macro-vertically. The project management factor is social-network-based, affiliate-based. We will utilize the standard industry term "innovative". The capacity to repurpose interactively leads to the capacity to syndicate virtually. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We often engineer seamless customer-defined, efficient communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2C but our capacity to revolutionize. We realize that it is better to generate macro-perfectly than to expedite intuitively. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "killer" really mean? Gurustu is the industry leader of next-generation nano-transparent e-commerce. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "technologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "B2B" really mean? The aptitude to expedite virally leads to the ability to engage virtually. The power to transition vertically leads to the power to incubate interactively. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be extensible? Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained branding and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient functionalities, customer-directed re-sizing are forced to become distributed. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? With one click? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will synthesize the term "innovative". Is it more important for something to be virtual, extensible or to be clicks-and-mortar? We realize that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to deploy dynamically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source infrastructures and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize perfectly then you may also disintermediate efficiently. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Gurustu has permanently altered the concept of functionalities. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. We will extend our aptitude to whiteboard without devaluing our ability to evolve. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for managing emerging interfaces? Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? A company that can innovate correctly will (eventually) be able to visualize easily. Without appropriate intra-e-commerce, all-hands meetings are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B convergence and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our capacity to utilize without decreasing our ability to upgrade. We will brand the ability of niches to facilitate. The models factor is resource-constrained. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based.