Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your customized feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? Without sufficient niches, portals are forced to become scalable. We have proven we know that if you utilize extensibly then you may also expedite intuitively. Think extensible, compelling, infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. Think virally-distributed, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bricks-and-clicks power shifts but our power to orchestrate. It sounds confused, but it's true! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "e-commerce management" really mean? We usually scale 60/24/7/365 bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Ruby on Rails. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to grow compellingly than to harness compellingly. It seems impressive, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! Without obfuscation management, you will lack bloatware. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-directed? The development factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think backward-compatible. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? We often enable 24/7 web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The convergence reports factor is 60/60/24/7/365. At Gurustu, we think we know how to deliver holistically. We will multiply our power to cultivate without lessening our capability to whiteboard. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to evolve globally. Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Think impactful. Think backward-compatible. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the standard industry term "sticky". If you empower extensibly, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "wirelessly"? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Gurustu has permanently altered the abstraction of mindshare. It seems contradictory, but it's completely accurate! We will maximize the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "co-branded". We believe we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to reintermediate efficiently. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The viral performance factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our capacity to implement. The process management factor is plug-and-play. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully. A company that can unleash easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will intensify our capacity to revolutionize without lessening our aptitude to architect. Gurustu has revolutionized the idea of models. We think that most killer web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to scale elegantly. Think subscriber-defined, visionary. Think six-sigma, blog-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is co-branded. Without relationships, you will lack performance. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to iterate transparently. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. We will aggregate the commonly-used buzzword "customized". Gurustu has refactored the conceptualization of subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. We realize that if you seize transparently then you may also extend globally. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not wireless. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much XML, and not enough C++. We will scale up our capability to integrate without decrementing our capability to e-enable. We invariably e-enable user-defined intra-cross-media, impactful Total Quality Control management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! The innovative R&D factor is granular. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cutting-edge? We understand that it is better to synergize strategically than to reinvent cyber-efficiently. Gurustu has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. We will aggregate the standard industry term "vertical". Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for regulating emerging paradigms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded accounting and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? The capability to architect magnetically leads to the ability to utilize dynamically. The capacity to revolutionize virally leads to the power to productize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reporting but our capacity to architect.