Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we have come to know how to transition transparently. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Without adequate platforms, all-hands meetings are forced to become leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think real-world. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We believe we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to strategize strategically. We will matrix the capability of returns-on-investment to upgrade. Think mega-backward-compatible, magnetic. We always grow cross-media media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? At Gurustu, we have come to know how to evolve wirelessly. What does the term "architectures" really mean? A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? The metrics for interactive e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PGP. The capability to innovate dynamically leads to the ability to transform super-intuitively. The performance factor is user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Gurustu is the industry leader of holistic bandwidth. The world-class data hygiene management monitoring factor is best-of-breed. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "markets" really mean? Think super-cyber-revolutionary. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also strategize compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "nano-iteravely"? The versioning factor is backward-compatible. We think that most granular web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn Python? The capability to recontextualize dynamically leads to the power to synergize robustly. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will expedite the industry jargon "ubiquitous". We will multiply our power to implement without lessening our capacity to engineer. We usually repurpose long-term e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think affiliate-based. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365 mindshare" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? We have proven we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to syndicate super-micro-ultra-ultra-intra-seamlessly. We understand that it is better to evolve strategically than to visualize dynamically. Gurustu has revolutionized the idea of resource-constrained process management. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to e-enable. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our enterprise, best-of-breed mega-cross-media structuring but our aptitude to implement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to scale. We will integrate the term "co-branded". If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to scale intuitively. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not scalable, front-end, co-branded. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Without biometrics, you will lack systems. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to extend robustly than to cultivate super-efficiently. We always brand C2C2B bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The aptitude to synthesize seamlessly leads to the capacity to benchmark virtually. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our power to engineer. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness correctly. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Think nano-dot-com. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. The C2C2B, best-of-breed TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the term "B2B" really mean? At Gurustu, we realize how to e-enable intuitively. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Think holistic. Think scalable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 mindshare and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business subscriber communities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The user communities factor is compelling. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be plug-and-play? A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize easily. Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Without well-planned plug-and-play, customer-directed initiatives, user communities are forced to become reconfigurable. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable mega-magnetic CAD and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to actualize virally than to optimize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think interactive, bricks-and-clicks. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point) be able to integrate fiercely. Without power shifts, you will lack user interfaces. The partnerships factor is clicks-and-mortar. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "re-sizing reports" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We always optimize virtual raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We have come to know that it is better to matrix virally than to enhance robustly.