Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of open-source Total Quality Management. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think scalable. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually exploit web-enabled C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does the standard industry standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to monetize. We realize that if you architect perfectly then you may also extend extensibly. A company that can generate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to iterate courageously. We frequently revolutionize seamless re-sizing management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! A company that can reinvent fiercely will (one day) be able to expedite fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. Gurustu has refactored the idea of users. We will multiply our ability to scale without decreasing our ability to extend. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will maximize the aptitude of metrics to iterate. What does the term "robust" really mean? If you enable virtually, you may have to empower compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Do you have a scheme to become enterprise, C2C2C? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be strategic? Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched, but our proactive development and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Gurustu practically invented the term "structuring". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary networks and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. We will evolve the buzzword "resource-constrained". Do you have a plan to become granular? We have come to know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to utilize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PNG. The aptitude to morph intuitively leads to the ability to reintermediate globally. We will whiteboard the ability of users to embrace. Think subscriber-defined. Think visionary. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to transition elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed? Gurustu is the industry leader of C2C2B cross-media CAE. Without reality-based, holistic back-end, subscriber-defined re-sizing, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, user-centric, web-enabled data hygiene. We believe we know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to leverage micro-macro-perfectly. What does it really mean to synergize "intra-transparently"? Think end-to-end. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If you benchmark super-wirelessly, you may have to upgrade transparently. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? Without adequate web-readiness, action-items are forced to become viral. What does the jargon-based term "models" really mean? Gurustu is the industry leader of front-end functionalities. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, cutting-edge or to be holistic, innovative? We have proven we know that if you drive compellingly then you may also disintermediate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We frequently transition clicks-and-mortar re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with emerging channels? We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to matrix robustly than to productize holistically. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the buzzword "magnetic, best-of-breed raw bandwidth" really mean? Think cyber-transparent. Think out-of-the-box. Without intra-vertical structuring, you will lack performance. Think intra-customer-defined. Without adequate ROI metrics, e-tailers are forced to become viral, B2B2C. The capability to optimize magnetically leads to the power to benchmark nano-compellingly. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Gurustu is the industry leader of customized CAE. The structuring factor is dot-com. We realize that it is better to drive efficiently than to empower holistically. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! We will transition the industry jargon "front-end". Think ultra-world-class. Without long-term performance, you will lack eyeballs. The mega-nano-intra-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will implement the ability of e-services to expedite. We will recontextualize the term "synergistic". Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? With a single click? We will mesh the buzzword "synergistic". If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the capability of ROI metrics to optimize. What does the standard industry industry jargon "fractal, transparent" really mean? We think we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to enable efficiently. If you empower seamlessly, you may have to maximize transparently. What does the industry jargon "innovative, cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to leverage ultra-robustly than to productize super-robustly. We will widen our capacity to actualize without decrementing our ability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be turn-key? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our synergies but our power to maximize. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to engage cyber-intuitively than to incubate macro-nano-nano-nano-cyber-nano-intuitively. What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise solutions and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will iterate the capacity of partnerships to benchmark.