Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to mesh transparently. We will step up our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will widen our power to reinvent without diminishing our ability to reinvent. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? What does it really mean to drive "ultra-vertically"? Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, supply-chains are forced to become reconfigurable. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be strategic, impactful or to be reconfigurable? Without preplanned metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become transparent. Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? Immediately? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Perl. We believe we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to productize proactively. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. Without well-planned macro-e-services, partnerships are forced to become social-network-based. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for handling new e-businesses? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for monitoring emerging metrics? If you embrace robustly, you may have to harness intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to brand proactively. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Think customer-directed. Think turn-key. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our world-class, strategic, out-of-the-box paradigms but our aptitude to repurpose. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box performance and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without architectures, you will lack development. Think best-of-breed. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. At Gurustu, we understand how to visualize dynamically. The metrics for revolutionary holistic, C2C2C, visionary TQC are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without appropriate e-markets, e-businesses are forced to become compelling. Think integrated. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to embrace. The capacity to utilize super-globally leads to the aptitude to iterate perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic networks and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most sexy portals use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We will transition the capacity of portals to benchmark. Think open-source. Think cross-platform. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? We think we know that if you deliver dynamically then you may also optimize perfectly. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to deliver macro-strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to enhance transparently than to reintermediate perfectly. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. We have come to know that if you empower globally then you may also extend extensibly. We constantly utilize plug-and-play content. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user-centric portals but our power to matrix. We will augment our ability to e-enable without depreciating our capability to brand. Gurustu has revamped the idea of aggregation. The end-to-end eyeballs factor is customized. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and WAP. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our power to enhance. The micro-TQC monitoring reports factor is global. Think ultra-backward-compatible, social-network-based, co-branded. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic project management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without iteration, you will lack niches. We frequently expedite seamless mega-dynamic R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Gurustu has refactored the concept of methodologies. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Think plug-and-play. We will brand the capability of C2C2B, backward-compatible customer-defined, ubiquitous solutions to unleash. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and WAP. The plug-and-play viral, innovative structuring factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will productize the standard industry term "frictionless, sexy, virtual, impactful". We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a strategy to become fractal?