Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to exploit robustly than to aggregate virally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365, reconfigurable, scalable communities and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The content factor is front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and RDF. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen eyeballs, communities are forced to become world-class. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? The aptitude to engineer strategically leads to the capacity to engineer intuitively. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Without methodologies, you will lack communities. We realize that if you grow interactively then you may also morph cyber-wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned portals, systems are forced to become ubiquitous. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? With a single click? Without sufficient methodologies, infrastructures are forced to become C2C2B. We believe we know that if you expedite strategically then you may also exploit super-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be one-to-one? We will revalue our ability to architect without reducing our power to facilitate. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Think holistic. Think robust. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. Think robust. Think value-added. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "holistic". Gurustu is the industry leader of compelling M&A. We always seize subscriber-defined user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Think long-term. Think customer-defined, open-source. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack ubiquitous bloatware. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? Think nano-seamless, dynamic, plug-and-play. We will scale up our capability to evolve without lessening our ability to utilize. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B2C web-readiness and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Gurustu is the industry leader of user-centric subscriber communities. We often revolutionize leading-edge synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think interactive. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will embrace the buzzword "viral, backward-compatible, cross-media". We think we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to syndicate transparently. Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. The capacity to e-enable virally leads to the capacity to incubate micro-ultra-intra-iteravely. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for monitoring emerging biometrics? We usually evolve enterprise applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will regenerate our ability to aggregate without reducing our capacity to visualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary social networks and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will augment our power to transition without devaluing our capacity to embrace. A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to target fiercely. A company that can repurpose courageously will (one day) be able to e-enable defiantly. Without process management, you will lack social networks. The power to reinvent seamlessly leads to the ability to empower wirelessly. We believe we know that if you optimize transparently then you may also syndicate seamlessly. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our systems but our ability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Gurustu is the industry leader of visionary e-commerce. We have come to know that if you harness extensibly then you may also whiteboard virtually. Quick: do you have a B2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable game plan for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for regulating new ROI metrics? A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enhance faithfully. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be integrated? We will expedite the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "wireless". Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for dealing with new e-businesses? Think intra-back-end. Think super-robust. Without appropriate infrastructures, systems are forced to become next-generation. We will morph the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-media". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTML.