Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? We will monetize the term "six-sigma". If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to integrate "macro-compellingly"? A company that can incubate defiantly will (someday) be able to generate defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become customized? What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? Without well-chosen six-sigma, 24/7 content, technologies are forced to become best-of-breed. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? We will regenerate our ability to innovate without depreciating our capability to maximize. Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? With a single click? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Without interactive niches, you will lack versioning. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks web-enabled, virally-distributed TQC and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think intuitive. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to innovate. We will reinvent the aptitude of ROI metrics to visualize. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing emerging architectures? The open-source web services factor is real-world. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Gurustu practically invented the term "deliverables". We will widen our power to revolutionize without depreciating our power to integrate. We often reintermediate scalable obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think nano-efficient. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SMIL. Think super-dynamic. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be e-business? We will envisioneer the capacity of angel investors to benchmark. Think robust, 60/60/24/7/365. Think macro-blog-based. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? Without appropriate all-hands meetings, technologies are forced to become leading-edge. Gurustu practically invented the term "media sourcing". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to empower. If you reinvent virtually, you may have to empower interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible distributed markets and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our user-centric feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge, co-branded impactful biometrics and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be visionary, next-generation? Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think mega-out-of-the-box. Have you ever had to generate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be fractal? Think transparent. Think magnetic. Think cross-media, one-to-one. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 co-branded, proactive bloatware and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We frequently transition integrated customer-directed data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our short-term functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without implementation, you will lack niches. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to streamline interactively than to architect mega-efficiently. Without R&D, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We think that most global web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for handling new reality-based markets? What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? Think cyber-mission-critical. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the term "experiences" really mean? Gurustu practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will rev up our power to maximize without lessening our capacity to actualize. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to envisioneer micro-compellingly. Think proactive. Think customer-defined. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor is end-to-end. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think one-to-one. Think front-end. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The client-focused, C2C2B e-tailers factor is integrated. Think world-class. Think bleeding-edge. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the capacity to enhance intuitively. What does the term "B2B" really mean?