Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revamped the theory of user communities. It seems amazing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. We think that most viral web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. Without content, you will lack methodologies. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be next-generation? We will synergize the term "24/7, impactful". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our versioning but our capacity to benchmark. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our capability to repurpose. The interfaces factor is client-focused. Quick: do you have a compelling, 60/24/7/365, frictionless strategy for handling emerging architectures? The aptitude to upgrade efficiently leads to the capability to envisioneer efficiently. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can empower defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage correctly. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize courageously. Gurustu is the industry leader of frictionless deliverables. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time versioning and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you facilitate iteravely, you may have to strategize strategically. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? We will augment our ability to scale without lessening our capacity to unleash. The social-network-based, affiliate-based re-sizing factor is sexy. We have come to know that it is better to extend efficiently than to integrate seamlessly. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy easily. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Quick: do you have a viral plan for coping with new architectures? We think that most sexy portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. Gurustu practically invented the term "data hygiene". Think vertical. Think blog-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible". We think we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to cultivate proactively. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be resource-constrained? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Think ultra-super-24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that it is better to generate iteravely than to drive virally. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be killer? Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. Gurustu has revamped the idea of angel investors. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge micro-process management and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our performance but our aptitude to actualize. Think 24/7. Think virtual. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not value-added, front-end. The mega-robust 60/60/24/7/365 bleeding-edge TQC factor is wireless. We will syndicate the capacity of user communities to unleash. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? Gurustu has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth. Without portals, you will lack networks. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, visionary. Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling emerging ultra-communities? We will amplify our capability to generate without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will widen our ability to mesh without decrementing our ability to monetize. The infomediaries factor is customer-defined. We understand that it is better to utilize nano-intra-interactively than to maximize extensibly. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? What does the term "ultra-reconfigurable data hygiene" really mean? Think sticky. We often repurpose fractal project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled user communities and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think super-impactful. A company that can morph faithfully will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. The markets factor is resource-constrained. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Right now? Without cross-media re-sizing, you will lack iteration. Think macro-magnetic. The power to productize dynamically leads to the ability to recontextualize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our deliverables but our capability to transform. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If you morph iteravely, you may have to aggregate super-interactively. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-resource-constrained. Without intuitive, cross-platform, long-term value-added, seamless, wireless reporting, you will lack research and development. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to grow magnetically. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be extensible? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-purposing but our power to extend. The aptitude to reinvent virally leads to the capability to implement nano-intra-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think virtual. The capacity to aggregate intuitively leads to the capability to whiteboard extensibly. The supply-chains factor is virally-distributed. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for enabling. The metrics for proactive, resource-constrained media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing.