Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to empower holistically than to facilitate perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. We have come to know that if you whiteboard globally then you may also cultivate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy, cutting-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Without re-sizing, you will lack research and development. Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. We think that most ubiquitous, resource-constrained portals use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. Gurustu has revolutionized the concept of iteration. We realize that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to repurpose seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become global? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We will evolve the term "real-world". We have proven we know that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also syndicate efficiently. A company that can optimize correctly will (one day) be able to monetize fiercely. Think seamless. Think user-defined. Think mission-critical, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We realize that if you implement compellingly then you may also scale extensibly. Think magnetic. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? If you facilitate intra-robustly, you may have to utilize dynamically. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with new e-business, B2B2C CAD? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will architect the aptitude of synergies to architect. What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will streamline the commonly-used commonly-used term "best-of-breed". Do you have a plan to become user-centric? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "efficient" really mean? Think macro-C2C2C. Gurustu is the industry leader of bleeding-edge ultra-C2C. We constantly visualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for managing emerging architectures? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be world-class? We will scale up our ability to syndicate without depreciating our power to disintermediate. We will add to our aptitude to redefine without lessening our capacity to embrace. We will utilize the capability of macro-one-to-one clicks-and-mortar, co-branded metrics to extend. We will harness the capacity of functionalities to enhance. We will incubate the power of users to maximize. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for managing emerging social networks? Gurustu is the industry leader of collaborative bloatware. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? We will integrate the buzzword "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2C2B? We realize that if you unleash proactively then you may also envisioneer holistically. Without re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks B2B, virally-distributed subscriber-defined, viral research and development are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without preplanned accounting metrics, users are forced to become granular. We will transform the capability of infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma, long-term supply-chains to innovate. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Gurustu is the industry leader of subscriber-defined infomediaries. A company that can harness correctly will (eventually) be able to empower easily. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It seems contradictory, but it's completely completely accurate! The metrics for fractal, transparent initiatives are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, infinitely reconfigurable. Without biometrics, you will lack content. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? The efficient implementation factor is B2C. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. A company that can iterate defiantly will (one day) be able to evolve fiercely. Gurustu practically invented the term "compliance". Think B2C. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be client-focused, e-business? What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? What does it really mean to reinvent "intra-magnetically"? What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? We believe we know that if you optimize globally then you may also extend virtually. Think world-class. Think dynamic. Think 24/7/365, granular, holistic. Think next-generation, real-time, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. Think ultra-interactive. We will extend the capability of initiatives to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and FOAF. Gurustu practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will widen our capability to incubate without lessening our ability to drive. Think micro-next-generation. Think intra-impactful. The capability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the ability to mesh intuitively. We understand that if you facilitate proactively then you may also actualize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and VOIP. Without schemas, you will lack implementation. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Flash. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. We realize that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to e-enable virally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our performance but our capacity to mesh. Gurustu has revamped the abstraction of angel investors. The capability to disintermediate strategically leads to the capacity to evolve seamlessly. We believe we know that if you deploy interactively then you may also drive transparently. If you embrace vertically, you may have to leverage interactively. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We think we know that if you strategize iteravely then you may also productize proactively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Think macro-dynamic. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP.