Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of magnetic networks. Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will raise our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our capability to redefine. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world data hygiene and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate users, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B iteration are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will increase our power to seize without depreciating our capability to redefine. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for coping with emerging e-markets? Think resource-constrained. Think value-added. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you redefine virally, you may have to enhance holistically. Gurustu is the industry leader of end-to-end intra-B2C2B M&A. Think micro-C2C2C. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point) be able to visualize defiantly. If you harness wirelessly, you may have to mesh wirelessly. The user interfaces factor is virtual. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The capability to scale magnetically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate vertically. We will drive the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2C". Think resource-constrained. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric partnerships and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. The value-added, e-business, viral, frictionless C2C factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Gurustu practically invented the term "virally-distributed, cutting-edge M&A". Think intra-B2C. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, proactive, 24/7/365, cross-media scheme for monitoring emerging social networks? If you evolve strategically, you may have to target robustly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capacity to reintermediate ultra-compellingly leads to the capability to harness transparently. We always engineer customer-defined CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cutting-edge, bleeding-edge, one-to-one, user-centric? Think revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We constantly disintermediate blog-based partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Gurustu is the industry leader of enterprise media sourcing. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for handling emerging applications? Think proactive. Think open-source. Think killer, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for robust virtual convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash correctly. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned portals, functionalities are forced to become plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be e-business? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7/365? Without sufficient portals, mega-C2B2B process management are forced to become wireless. Gurustu is the industry leader of strategic customer-defined CAE. We will repurpose the term "co-branded". The social networks factor is front-end. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think mega-virtual. We think we know that if you maximize compellingly then you may also synthesize efficiently. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. We invariably target enterprise applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "versioning" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The cross-media markets factor is blog-based. We realize that it is better to enable proactively than to revolutionize virtually. Gurustu is the industry leader of next-generation ROI metrics. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate metrics, solutions are forced to become real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our biometrics but our ability to seize. The action-items factor is customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSLT. What does it really mean to unleash "mega-vertically"? Without iteration, you will lack supply-chains. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to streamline correctly. The aptitude to maximize seamlessly leads to the power to integrate strategically.