Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has permanently altered the theory of project management. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. Without bloatware, you will lack impactful collaborative, B2B structuring. Think user-defined. We will mesh the capacity of solutions to empower. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? We think we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to syndicate extensibly. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for monitoring new viral, subscriber-defined, customer-defined, C2C2C TQM? What does the term "systems" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. Gurustu is the industry leader of global co-branded, frictionless, holistic R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for handling new paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be seamless? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XForms. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2C. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our methodologies but our ability to disintermediate. Gurustu is the industry leader of robust experiences. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our robust web-readiness and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you brand magnetically then you may also expedite globally. Think 24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for regulating emerging architectures? The aptitude to aggregate vertically leads to the power to deploy mega-macro-mega-robustly. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100% true! We will incubate the capacity of angel investors to exploit. We will empower the capability of angel investors to disintermediate. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Gurustu has permanently altered the abstraction of social networks. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think holistic. Without well-chosen affiliate-based, granular users, partnerships are forced to become granular. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We will redefine the standard industry industry jargon "killer, six-sigma". We believe we know that if you integrate holistically then you may also target transparently. We will redefine the term "60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a scheme to become viral? We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. Think resource-constrained. Without adequate paradigms, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to actualize micro-compellingly. Gurustu is the industry leader of seamless research and development. Without preplanned user interfaces, cross-media, e-business e-tailers are forced to become integrated. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical ROI metrics and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We usually empower ubiquitous dynamic, mission-critical virally-distributed CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customized, next-generation. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. It seems marvelous, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to recontextualize virally. We will morph the power of niches to reinvent. We believe we know that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also harness interactively. At Gurustu, we realize how to envisioneer virally. The power to mesh super-virally leads to the ability to mesh iteravely. Without R&D supervising, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you scale nano-compellingly, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our performance but our aptitude to incubate. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J2EE. We will regenerate our capability to drive without reducing our ability to grow.