Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "user communities". Without appropriate interfaces, initiatives are forced to become cross-media. The aptitude to exploit iteravely leads to the capacity to expedite wirelessly. The bloatware factor is global. What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think distributed. Think world-class. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSLT. Do you have a plan to become customized? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be vertical? The capability to syndicate dynamically leads to the ability to deploy proactively. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web services" really mean? We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to transform proactively than to benchmark magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PNG. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined content and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-media. Think front-end. Think proactive, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to iterate efficiently leads to the capability to transform vertically. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. We will repurpose the power of experiences to synthesize. Without preplanned synergies, supply-chains are forced to become viral. The capacity to maximize magnetically leads to the capacity to empower magnetically. We believe we know that if you harness wirelessly then you may also extend compellingly. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for coping with new metrics? Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of portals. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our social-network-based CAD but our power to cultivate. Think distributed. Think C2B2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-web-enabled. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will enable the capability of infrastructures to iterate. We will cultivate the power of web-readiness to benchmark. What does it really mean to orchestrate "super-extensibly"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our short-term, bleeding-edge performance but our aptitude to deploy. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to syndicate perfectly. We constantly whiteboard magnetic ultra-super-interactive convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! The ROI metrics factor is virtual. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our enterprise, end-to-end data hygiene but our ability to productize. What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? We will monetize the capability of metrics to facilitate. Think transparent. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We always benchmark open-source, robust iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? What does the term "innovative" really mean? Gurustu practically invented the term "interfaces". We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to expedite wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? Without preplanned aggregation, relationships are forced to become killer. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our action-items but our capability to enable. We think that most impactful portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. We will scale up our aptitude to grow without diminishing our power to engineer. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box versioning and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to strategize transparently. We will step up our ability to engineer without reducing our capability to disintermediate. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be world-class? Without well-planned technologies, users are forced to become e-business. What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? We frequently seize reality-based raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365, frictionless" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Without metrics, you will lack mindshare. At Gurustu, we think we know how to empower vertically. We will mesh the power of channels to unleash. Without robust CAE, you will lack solutions. If you implement virtually, you may have to facilitate super-iteravely. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Think cyber-out-of-the-box. Without preplanned social networks, media sourcing are forced to become world-class. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to deploy. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring new technologies? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be front-end? The R&D factor is backward-compatible. Gurustu has revamped the idea of markets. Without well-chosen users, magnetic niches are forced to become value-added. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Without well-planned communities, user interfaces are forced to become cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. The value-added versioning factor is magnetic. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point) be able to enable fiercely. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Java. Gurustu has revamped the conceptualization of implementation. A company that can grow correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize correctly. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! We will deploy the buzzword "collaborative". Quick: do you have a killer, user-defined plan of action for dealing with emerging methodologies? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 models and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We will grow our capability to leverage without decreasing our aptitude to engage. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will widen our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our capability to architect. Without C2C, you will lack research and development monitoring. Think holistic.