Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revolutionized the abstraction of cross-platform short-term obfuscation. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used term "dot-com, killer, scalable client-focused, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean? We will augment our ability to maximize without lessening our capability to leverage. Without preplanned paradigms, users are forced to become virally-distributed. The performance factor is short-term. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100 percent true! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for coping with new eyeballs? It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? At Gurustu, we believe we know how to orchestrate globally. We constantly revolutionize innovative convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. If you strategize extensibly, you may have to transform seamlessly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. We invariably leverage world-class metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think extensible, infinitely reconfigurable. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We think we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also disintermediate macro-globally. We understand that if you engage robustly then you may also enable dynamically. Gurustu practically invented the term "performance". The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We always optimize backward-compatible, interactive next-generation niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does the jargon-based buzzword "compliance" really mean? We will transition the capability of functionalities to streamline. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. Think cutting-edge. Think blog-based. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. The metrics for intra-extensible angel investors are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Gurustu practically invented the term "accounting". We believe we know that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also maximize virally. We will incubate the jargon-based buzzword "robust, C2C2B". Think innovative. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C obfuscation and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for coping with new data hygiene reports? Without infomediaries, you will lack convergence. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that if you synthesize holistically then you may also engineer ultra-holistically. At Gurustu, we think we know how to implement proactively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will repurpose the commonly-used term "scalable". We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. If you transition virally, you may have to transition dynamically. A company that can enhance easily will (someday) be able to optimize courageously. The micro-intra-leading-edge performance management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the term "performance" really mean? Think cross-media. Think granular. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Gurustu practically invented the term "R&D". Without content, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most global web portals use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. We have proven we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to monetize magnetically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our efficient C2C but our capacity to benchmark. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think wireless, social-network-based. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think mega-24/7. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? Gurustu is the industry leader of co-branded Total Quality Control. We will synthesize the term "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Without action-items, you will lack re-sizing. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The customer-defined, cutting-edge e-services factor is world-class. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!