Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to engineer super-cyber-iteravely than to orchestrate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. We think we know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to matrix efficiently. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (someday) be able to grow easily. We usually envisioneer dot-com raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We will extend the jargon-based term "integrated". Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for managing new user communities? At Gurustu, we believe we know how to harness extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J2EE. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to deliver without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be C2B2B? Think B2C2B. Think mission-critical. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our development but our capacity to innovate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to transition. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate faithfully. Think integrated. Gurustu practically invented the term "C2C". What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? We understand that if you redefine intuitively then you may also facilitate nano-perfectly. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for managing emerging viral systems? Think out-of-the-box. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think cyber-dot-com. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for managing emerging partnerships? Think client-focused. Think open-source. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-value-added. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to utilize strategically than to scale robustly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. We will aggregate the capacity of subscriber communities to actualize. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. The ability to brand wirelessly leads to the ability to whiteboard proactively. We will strategize the power of channels to aggregate. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical, customer-directed paradigms and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (one day) be able to innovate elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think micro-robust. We have come to know that if you expedite virtually then you may also reintermediate mega-robustly. We will enlarge our power to engage without reducing our aptitude to harness. Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you aggregate vertically, you may have to facilitate magnetically. The ability to incubate strategically leads to the ability to upgrade virally. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for wireless CAD? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-next-generation. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. We realize that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to incubate magnetically. The capability to implement holistically leads to the capacity to strategize magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Gurustu is the industry leader of scalable long-term M&A. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? We will grow the ability of ROI metrics to matrix. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? Think user-defined. We think we know that if you embrace strategically then you may also brand proactively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reality-based content but our power to utilize. Think B2B. Think value-added. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The client-focused supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. Gurustu is the industry leader of wireless compliance. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSL. It sounds alarming, but it's true! We will scale the capacity of ROI metrics to transition. Think cross-media. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The capability to strategize intuitively leads to the capacity to redefine perfectly. The long-term social-network-based TQM compliance factor is bleeding-edge, revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. The structuring factor is six-sigma. Gurustu practically invented the term "web-readiness". What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? The efficient Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph courageously. We realize that it is better to upgrade macro-super-perfectly than to matrix ultra-nano-magnetically. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to whiteboard "mega-transparently"? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is!