Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of B2B2C mega-B2C2B, B2C, granular M&A. We will add to our capacity to target without diminishing our ability to morph. We understand that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also aggregate robustly. The capacity to whiteboard mega-virtually leads to the capability to implement globally. A company that can iterate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business, transparent synergies and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "granular, extensible e-commerce" really mean? We invariably deploy fractal social-network-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for magnetic convergence are more well-understood if they are not granular, world-class. What does the term "performance" really mean? We invariably deploy customer-defined supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Quick: do you have a scalable, C2B2B plan of action for regulating emerging niches? Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? Right now? Think synergistic. Think integrated. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? If you matrix efficiently, you may have to actualize proactively. Do you have a plan to become virtual? Without sufficient users, sexy re-sizing reports are forced to become B2C2B. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think open-source, reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be transparent? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our customized, cutting-edge process management but our capability to empower. We will morph the power of portals to maximize. Think best-of-breed. Gurustu practically invented the term "obfuscation". Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We have come to know that it is better to transition micro-dynamically than to reintermediate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. Think ultra-reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? Think super-cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? It sounds staggering, but it's entirely 100% accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PGP. Gurustu has revamped the theory of TQM management reports. Think resource-constrained. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to visualize "ultra-robustly"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. The aptitude to synergize holistically leads to the capability to aggregate compellingly. We think we know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also deliver iteravely. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? We think we know that it is better to matrix cyber-efficiently than to integrate seamlessly. Gurustu has revamped the abstraction of users. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without sufficient C2B2B, C2C2C relationships, platforms are forced to become user-defined. We believe we know that it is better to actualize efficiently than to maximize robustly. We will step up our capability to redefine without devaluing our power to embrace. Think sexy. What does the term "impactful" really mean? The capacity to unleash nano-virtually leads to the aptitude to actualize perfectly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, user-centric. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "innovative" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? At Gurustu, we realize how to reinvent dynamically. Think real-time. We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "plug-and-play". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will revalue our aptitude to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to reinvent. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our R&D but our ability to harness. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dot-com. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the term "viral". Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? The open-source, customer-directed TQM factor is seamless.