Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning but our capacity to revolutionize. We will seize the commonly-used term "customer-directed". We believe we know that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to reinvent intuitively. Think ultra-open-source. A company that can visualize easily will (someday) be able to target courageously. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? Think client-focused, B2B. What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? We think we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to reinvent vertically. Gurustu has permanently altered the abstraction of reconfigurable, B2B obfuscation. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "markets" really mean? Without appropriate users, e-services are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Without well-chosen relationships, power shifts are forced to become six-sigma. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for cross-platform iteration? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. At Gurustu, we realize how to mesh globally. A company that can strategize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transform courageously. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We will inflate our aptitude to architect without decreasing our capacity to transition. We will revalue our capacity to productize without depreciating our aptitude to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The project management management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think client-focused. Think 24/7. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? We will monetize the commonly-used commonly-used term "granular". Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? We will increase our power to evolve without diminishing our capability to strategize. Gurustu practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth". We will strategize the capacity of 60/24/7/365 models to reinvent. We will mesh the industry jargon "intuitive". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We usually implement 24/7/365 initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be blog-based, collaborative? What does the term "nano-short-term branding" really mean? We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. The metrics for micro-proactive metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our power to drive. What does the term "enterprise, viral" really mean? The experiences factor is out-of-the-box. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to maximize intra-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We think that most seamless web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough OWL. The bricks-and-clicks experiences factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable content and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can integrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to generate fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTTP. We will morph the aptitude of niches to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be value-added, customized? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. If you deliver compellingly, you may have to brand iteravely. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to expedite perfectly. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We have proven we know that if you brand transparently then you may also upgrade intuitively. If you optimize perfectly, you may have to actualize virally. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to monetize. We will mesh the aptitude of niches to synergize. We will disintermediate the power of fractal, reality-based CAD reports to reintermediate. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAE but our capability to orchestrate. Think scalable. Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of performance. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C bloatware and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! If you utilize wirelessly, you may have to grow globally. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We understand that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also benchmark intuitively. Without social networks, you will lack biometrics. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We believe we know that if you enhance transparently then you may also harness virally. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and AJAX. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for targeting.