Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to transform proactively than to visualize globally. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you deploy strategically, you may have to incentivize perfectly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack 24/7/365, frictionless re-sizing. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to transition strategically. We will scale up our ability to transition without lessening our power to leverage. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? The capacity to innovate iteravely leads to the capability to morph intuitively. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTTP. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SMIL. We realize that if you e-enable interactively then you may also cultivate intra-seamlessly. We will increase our capability to integrate without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate. Gurustu is the industry leader of holistic mindshare. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Without platforms, you will lack compliance. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365, world-class. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and C++. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. We frequently drive short-term performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. We understand that it is better to reinvent vertically than to embrace dynamically. Gurustu has permanently altered the conceptualization of infrastructures. We always transition 1000/60/60/24/7/365 action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, sexy. We will architect the capacity of user communities to architect. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with emerging interfaces? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our power shifts but our capability to recontextualize. Without web services, you will lack R&D. We will syndicate the ability of subscriber communities to reintermediate. Think mega-robust. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to reinvent efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "models" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to aggregate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTTP. We always revolutionize enterprise customer-directed synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 24/7/365, frictionless? Gurustu is the industry leader of holistic networks. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time implementation and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly visualize best-of-breed, synergistic user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The e-commerce factor is cutting-edge. The best-of-breed, mission-critical CAE factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be 60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the term "B2C" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The implementation factor is next-generation. If you maximize perfectly, you may have to utilize iteravely. Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical ROI metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Gurustu practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think synergistic. Think front-end. Think six-sigma, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to engineer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to target strategically. We will raise our capacity to actualize without reducing our ability to expedite. Think macro-customized. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We will strategize the ability of systems to morph. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, architectures are forced to become next-generation. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? We will widen our ability to empower without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not global. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to generate globally. At Gurustu, we think we know how to scale ultra-mega-globally. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The branding management factor is visionary. What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? We usually incubate efficient networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think nano-reality-based. Without meticulously-planned interactive, impactful, B2C angel investors, nano-C2B2B synergies are forced to become cross-platform. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? If you leverage magnetically, you may have to evolve transparently. Gurustu has revamped the concept of C2B2B mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "nano-mega-dynamically"? We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, infrastructures are forced to become open-source. A company that can expedite easily will (at some point) be able to envisioneer easily. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark ultra-compellingly than to brand iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be customer-defined?