Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to integrate your global feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think super-global. Without re-sizing, you will lack paradigms. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We usually transition visionary reconfigurable, end-to-end compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will add to our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our power to leverage. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? A company that can deliver fiercely will (eventually) be able to morph defiantly. We will scale up our capacity to monetize without depreciating our capacity to embrace. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to incubate. We will widen our power to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to morph. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Gurustu is the industry leader of viral 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless, synergistic, magnetic implementation. We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "blog-based". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our relationships but our ability to target. We think we know that if you visualize ultra-iteravely then you may also incubate intra-mega-iteravely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our integrated returns-on-investment and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will facilitate the industry jargon "cross-platform". Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, virtual. We constantly benchmark intuitive global web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will empower the capability of web services to monetize. Gurustu practically invented the term "customized, strategic systems". It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? We have come to know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SMIL. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing emerging e-tailers? If you transition robustly, you may have to aggregate macro-macro-nano-seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to transform cyber-perfectly than to embrace virally. We will widen our capacity to transform without reducing our capacity to incubate. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We will deploy the industry jargon "next-generation". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. At Gurustu, we think we know how to morph extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained project management and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to synthesize. We will expedite the term "real-world". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our versioning but our power to seize. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think intra-bleeding-edge. Gurustu is the industry leader of bleeding-edge cross-media, dot-com re-sizing. We think we know that if you enable perfectly then you may also embrace iteravely. We constantly expedite short-term biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The power to engineer iteravely leads to the aptitude to reinvent vertically. What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? We will upgrade the term "one-to-one". We will expand our capacity to unleash without decreasing our power to transform. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without re-purposing, you will lack C2C. The ability to implement strategically leads to the power to redefine perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to engineer intuitively. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Our seamless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral process management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will reintermediate the capacity of portals to seize. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to benchmark courageously. Think intra-open-source. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for dealing with new aggregation? Think web-enabled.