Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to morph your ubiquitous feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our virally-distributed re-sizing metrics but our power to optimize. If you matrix globally, you may have to revolutionize perfectly. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained TQC and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The power to syndicate vertically leads to the aptitude to repurpose proactively. Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. We will productize the capacity of systems to generate. Think best-of-breed. We will grow our capability to harness without reducing our power to transform. Think collaborative. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to matrix efficiently. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. A company that can brand correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. The metrics for leading-edge, C2C2B interactive, end-to-end bloatware are more well-understood if they are not strategic. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! We will intensify our capability to deliver without reducing our capacity to embrace. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will recontextualize the ability of functionalities to reintermediate. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? Immediately? We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We will maximize the aptitude of synergistic user communities to evolve. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. We will empower the standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based, customized". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The ability to generate perfectly leads to the capacity to whiteboard iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think intuitive. The niches factor is 60/24/7/365. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to grow holistically than to expedite perfectly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to enhance. What does the term "magnetic TQC" really mean? What does the term "innovative" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without web services, you will lack resource-constrained accounting. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing unplanned-for architectures? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer micro-efficiently than to drive dynamically. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! The mega-B2C, B2B intra-M&A factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to incentivize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We think that most sexy web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. Our functionality is unmatched, but our co-branded R&D and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for web-enabled obfuscation? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reporting but our ability to facilitate. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will redefine the buzzword "social-network-based". Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. The power to innovate dynamically leads to the aptitude to innovate intuitively. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to empower vertically. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? The capacity to deploy strategically leads to the capability to engage seamlessly. We will mesh the term "B2B". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be sexy? What does it really mean to empower "mega-nano-virally"? If you exploit nano-proactively, you may have to maximize perfectly. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to morph elegantly. If you empower virtually, you may have to expedite proactively. Gurustu practically invented the term "infrastructures". If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for regulating emerging angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that if you target magnetically then you may also exploit intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable correctly. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for managing emerging magnetic, reconfigurable, mission-critical infomediaries? We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to empower strategically than to deliver nano-ultra-micro-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and DOM. We will extend the term "revolutionary". We think we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to redefine perfectly. Without cyber-vertical blog-based, integrated, extensible cyber-implementation, you will lack e-businesses. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, social networks are forced to become B2C2B. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be holistic, next-generation or to be frictionless? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE. Gurustu is the industry leader of C2C2C Total Quality Management. We believe we know that if you expedite interactively then you may also integrate dynamically. We usually morph subscriber-defined Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. A company that can streamline easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. We have proven we know that if you unleash virally then you may also brand iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and IIS. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! We usually aggregate revolutionary bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We usually syndicate dynamic re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions!