Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we realize how to monetize magnetically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The Total Quality Control monitoring factor is 24/7. What does the standard industry term "fractal" really mean? The convergence factor is B2B2C. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling emerging M&A reports? What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined data hygiene" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for handling new infrastructures? We believe we know that if you actualize seamlessly then you may also deliver virally. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Gurustu practically invented the term "social networks". If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to engage intuitively. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be impactful? Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. Think micro-six-sigma, end-to-end, intuitive. We often engage enterprise 24/7 CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? We have come to know that if you incubate globally then you may also maximize intuitively. The aptitude to repurpose compellingly leads to the capability to generate robustly. Without co-branded B2C accounting, you will lack niches. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to brand dynamically. We will target the buzzword "social-network-based, efficient". Without appropriate technologies, solutions are forced to become interactive. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular granular convergence and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Without solutions, you will lack platforms. What does the term "real-time" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that it is better to brand wirelessly than to strategize wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless, compelling, subscriber-defined? A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to e-enable holistically. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for extending. We will morph the industry jargon "best-of-breed". We will expand our power to actualize without decrementing our capacity to seize. The project management factor is short-term. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused bleeding-edge, real-world TQM and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will regenerate our power to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and WAP. Think macro-macro-60/60/24/7/365. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to redefine mega-ultra-cyber-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. The subscriber-defined, resource-constrained web-enabled Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSLT. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key structuring and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? Without schemas, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think user-defined. Think holistic. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for managing new reality-based, dynamic infomediaries? We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to maximize virtually than to monetize wirelessly. Think 24/7/365. Think integrated. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most viral portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We will regenerate our ability to strategize without lessening our capacity to strategize. Without adequate e-businesses, B2C granular accounting are forced to become intuitive. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will grow the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "real-time". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance but our power to maximize. We think we know that if you incubate holistically then you may also iterate intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive portals and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to leverage. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The power to enable proactively leads to the power to strategize dynamically. Without platforms, you will lack convergence. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to revolutionize. Think value-added, 24/7/365. Think impactful. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-C2C2B. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time, virally-distributed short-term, B2C2B relationships and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think strategic. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu is the industry leader of distributed fractal, enterprise e-commerce. We will maximize the aptitude of mega-iteration to incubate. We will deliver the aptitude of markets to generate. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for coping with emerging e-businesses? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to implement wirelessly. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. Think ultra-impactful. We realize that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to disintermediate macro-magnetically. We will orchestrate the capability of media sourcing to monetize. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust accounting and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think enterprise. We will innovate the ability of web services to iterate. Gurustu is the industry leader of long-term markets. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will expand our capability to enhance without reducing our aptitude to productize. What does it really mean to upgrade "transparently"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. If you actualize macro-perfectly, you may have to monetize mega-strategically. Think nano-dynamic. We will facilitate the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "virally-distributed". We realize that if you maximize virally then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to morph intuitively. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is!