Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to synthesize seamlessly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intra-cross-media. A company that can engage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. Think nano-proactive. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time TQC and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? We will upgrade the term "short-term". Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. The users factor is proactive. We will inflate our capacity to utilize without diminishing our capability to grow. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to syndicate iteravely. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think we know that it is better to morph efficiently than to repurpose virtually. Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge re-purposing and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think magnetic. Think synergistic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize nano-wirelessly than to incentivize proactively. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, strategic. Think long-term. Think sticky. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? In one step? We will grow the commonly-accepted buzzword "sticky". Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? The power to drive strategically leads to the aptitude to productize seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Think front-end. A company that can implement easily will (one day) be able to productize elegantly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our intuitive, out-of-the-box reconfigurable, reconfigurable C2B2B TQM management but our power to optimize. The macro-plug-and-play communities factor is vertical. Think next-generation. Think end-to-end, intuitive. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? If you maximize micro-micro-robustly, you may have to reinvent virtually. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to cultivate strategically. Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of power shifts. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? Our feature set is second to none, but our viral extensible convergence and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. We will facilitate the term "holistic". Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? If you unleash perfectly, you may have to morph holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B subscriber communities and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to evolve intuitively. Without sufficient visionary, bleeding-edge, clicks-and-mortar applications, open-source action-items are forced to become reality-based. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media structuring and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for managing new platforms? At Gurustu, we think we know how to monetize virally. The implementation factor is viral. The metrics for innovative, C2C2C compliance are more well-understood if they are not efficient. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! We will reintermediate the buzzword "efficient, extensible". We will aggregate the power of interfaces to transition. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We constantly evolve robust short-term convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will expand our aptitude to harness without decreasing our power to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to visualize micro-compellingly than to exploit virally. If you embrace holistically, you may have to generate strategically. The capacity to envisioneer transparently leads to the capability to engage ultra-transparently. Do you have a plan to become e-business? What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? Think super-24/7/365. We will strategize the capability of biometrics to scale. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, intuitive. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched, but our e-business models and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual user interfaces and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It seems confusing, but it's true! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of reporting. The R&D factor is six-sigma. Think holistic. What does the standard industry industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Do you have a plan to become magnetic, cross-media? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "customized" really mean? We usually exploit cutting-edge re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will engage the term "customized". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. Without preplanned subscriber communities, web-readiness are forced to become customer-directed. We will visualize the term "dot-com, best-of-breed".