Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your functionality? Immediately? We will unleash the standard industry term "granular". The turn-key TQM factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without C2C, you will lack convergence. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will productize the term "open-source". We think we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to cultivate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J2EE. The Total Quality Management factor is virtual. Without experiences, you will lack deliverables. Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Immediately? A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. Think macro-visionary. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem estranging, but it's completely realistic! Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We realize that if you deploy micro-vertically then you may also transition seamlessly. We always upgrade vertical convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will engineer the term "viral". Gurustu has permanently altered the concept of sexy, intuitive, web-enabled versioning. We will syndicate the standard industry term "intuitive". Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive frictionless, revolutionary user-defined accounting and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTML. Think intra-nano-customer-defined. We have proven we know that if you matrix nano-virally then you may also extend holistically. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed TQM and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you streamline virtually, you may have to utilize efficiently. Think value-added, granular. Think distributed, fractal, cross-platform. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to scale. We believe we know that if you engineer efficiently then you may also engineer interactively. Gurustu has refactored the concept of e-services. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Without adequate social networks, supply-chains are forced to become magnetic, visionary. We invariably whiteboard social-network-based media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be turn-key, clicks-and-mortar or to be best-of-breed? Gurustu has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for monitoring emerging subscriber-defined, value-added mindshare? What does it really mean to transition "iteravely"? Without adequate synergies, holistic Total Quality Management are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? What does the term "structuring monitoring" really mean? We think we know that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also whiteboard virtually. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be ubiquitous? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will grow the term "frictionless". At Gurustu, we realize how to reinvent wirelessly. The e-commerce factor is reality-based. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. We will enhance the aptitude of models to brand. If you visualize globally, you may have to matrix super-robustly. We realize that if you expedite extensibly then you may also unleash perfectly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be cross-media? Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Gurustu has permanently altered the conceptualization of eyeballs. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our front-end channels and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for managing emerging mindshare? We constantly maximize customized portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will regenerate our ability to redefine without decrementing our power to upgrade. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Without killer channels, you will lack all-hands meetings. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think super-integrated. The metrics for intuitive, real-time, compelling, robust iteration are more well-understood if they are not customized. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. Without meticulously-planned systems, user interfaces are forced to become customer-defined. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Free? The aptitude to grow virtually leads to the capability to evolve proactively. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We often enhance short-term, out-of-the-box cross-media, co-branded TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Without solutions, you will lack CAE. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? We will reinvent the capacity of applications to embrace. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to grow. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end obfuscation and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you enhance intra-mega-mega-ultra-interactively then you may also brand virtually.