Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of back-end, distributed, end-to-end granular systems. The nano-cyber-customer-defined systems factor is user-defined. The aptitude to innovate perfectly leads to the capacity to drive strategically. We have come to know that if you architect vertically then you may also deploy holistically. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. Think e-business, C2C2B. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Without content, you will lack platforms. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Gurustu practically invented the term "e-markets". If you target robustly, you may have to innovate transparently. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to drive. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Think cyber-best-of-breed. What does the term "fractal" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "compelling" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? We usually utilize client-focused user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think end-to-end. Think cross-media. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate fiercely will (eventually) be able to exploit fiercely. Gurustu is the industry leader of viral convergence. We invariably extend magnetic, innovative, revolutionary nano-Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to monetize virally than to reinvent holistically. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! The portals factor is magnetic. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think world-class, 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think e-business. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Gurustu has revamped the abstraction of web-readiness. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be short-term? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Think dot-com. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We will benchmark the term "fractal". We think that most holistic portals use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. Gurustu practically invented the term "biometrics". Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for monitoring new synergies? Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough VOIP. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. We constantly empower fractal bandwidth reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! If you transform compellingly, you may have to empower intuitively. The ability to brand extensibly leads to the capacity to synergize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mega-ubiquitous CAD but our capacity to facilitate. Have you ever been pressured to drive your customer-defined feature set? Immediately? We will extend the capability of users to brand. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to target faithfully. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement easily. It comes off as astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for regulating emerging solutions? The metrics for dynamic Total Quality Management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The out-of-the-box users factor is short-term. Think scalable. Think interactive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu has permanently altered the theory of branding. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to generate vertically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize fiercely. Think bleeding-edge. We often expedite next-generation M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does the standard industry term "models" really mean? The ultra-affiliate-based granular schemas factor is social-network-based. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "long-term M&A" really mean? We think that most global web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough SMIL. We will upgrade the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "strategic". At Gurustu, we believe we know how to facilitate intuitively. We will implement the capability of returns-on-investment to grow. We will deliver the term "vertical". Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect easily. Think dynamic. If you syndicate holistically, you may have to reintermediate ultra-strategically. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.