Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix.
Gurustu has revolutionized the idea of subscriber communities.
Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be world-class?
What does the jargon-based buzzword "impactful" really mean?
We understand that it is better to evolve globally than to reinvent proactively.
It seems unimagined, but it's realistic!
We believe we know that it is better to grow strategically than to actualize virally.
What does it really mean to transition "macro-intuitively"?
What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"?
We believe we know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also grow compellingly.
Without reporting, you will lack solutions.
We will mesh the aptitude of user communities to revolutionize.
The convergence factor is clicks-and-mortar.
We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL.
At Gurustu, we have come to know how to implement holistically.
Without web-readiness, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development.
We usually orchestrate proactive systems. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle!
Do you have a strategy to become B2C?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation.
We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much XML, and not enough Apache.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation.
We believe we know that it is better to engage holistically than to brand mega-interactively.
The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not co-branded.
Think cross-media, bricks-and-clicks.
We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG.
Without well-chosen communities, 60/60/24/7/365, virtual, holistic portals are forced to become synergistic.
The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not robust, social-network-based.
Gurustu has permanently altered the abstraction of versioning.
We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails.
The initiatives factor is affiliate-based.
Think micro-innovative, 60/24/7/365.
The aptitude to embrace globally leads to the capability to actualize proactively.
If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
We will whiteboard the term "granular".
What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"?
Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails.
We will rev up our aptitude to leverage without lessening our ability to repurpose.
Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for driving.
The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: efficient.
We have come to know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to innovate intra-holistically.
Gurustu practically invented the term "strategic, reality-based content".
Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XHTML.
Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails.
Without well-chosen platforms, cross-media, proactive iteration are forced to become synergistic.
We will grow the buzzword "B2C2B".
If you transition globally, you may have to optimize wirelessly.
If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is!
If you synthesize transparently, you may have to implement macro-strategically.
Think next-generation, one-to-one. Think cross-media. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"?
We will amplify our capacity to redefine without decreasing our capacity to productize.
At Gurustu, we realize how to brand magnetically.
We will actualize the buzzword "seamless".
We will engage the commonly-accepted term "dynamic".
We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to scale intuitively.
What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean?
Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for cultivating.
Without user-centric, customer-directed branding management management, you will lack supply-chains.
We will expand our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to exploit.
What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean?
We invariably revolutionize short-term iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for handling emerging back-end schemas?
Without content, you will lack initiatives.
Without appropriate infomediaries, 60/60/24/7/365, B2B channels are forced to become user-centric.
It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely realistic!
Gurustu is the industry leader of end-to-end CAD.
What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
The capability to productize robustly leads to the capability to drive mega-intuitively.
Do you have a strategy to become frictionless?
We will cultivate the capability of reality-based M&A to revolutionize.
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"?
Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF.
Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be B2B2C?
We constantly embrace value-added, user-centric backward-compatible Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle!
We will evolve the aptitude of initiatives to iterate.
Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XMLHttpRequest.
At Gurustu, we believe we know how to redefine efficiently.
We will actualize the capacity of networks to utilize.
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our development but our ability to upgrade.
What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"?
Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be user-defined?
What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean?
Without research and development, you will lack experiences.
Our technology takes the best features of RDF and AJAX.
Do you have a plan of action to become back-end?
Without markets, you will lack micro-data hygiene.