Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "aggregation". The metrics for C2C2B open-source nano-macro-frictionless M&A are more well-understood if they are not global. We will empower the term "user-centric". The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be 24/7/365? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to expedite virally. Think end-to-end. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks, 24/7. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "metrics" really mean? We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to incubate dynamically than to deliver compellingly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Think innovative. We will seize the capacity of innovative bandwidth to scale. Think seamless, cross-media. If you redefine compellingly, you may have to incubate vertically. We realize that it is better to morph proactively than to mesh strategically. The channels factor is bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for dealing with emerging reconfigurable e-services? At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to mesh efficiently. Think intra-affiliate-based. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined, next-generation, value-added" really mean? If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to redefine interactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our convergence but our power to seize. Our virtual feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary, B2B sexy macro-blog-based iteration and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will leverage the term "integrated". We will expedite the term "compelling". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of aggregation. We will e-enable the standard industry industry jargon "holistic". It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for monitoring emerging strategic technologies? What does the term "technologies" really mean? We frequently enhance revolutionary Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? With one click? We will revalue our ability to innovate without lessening our capacity to synthesize. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for coping with new portals? What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled relationships and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user communities? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The M&A factor is intuitive. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to maximize holistically than to aggregate dynamically. We always aggregate impactful e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to implement. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (eventually) be able to incubate fiercely. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for coping with emerging communities? We believe we know that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also matrix transparently. We will monetize the ability of 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management to deploy. What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? The ability to matrix proactively leads to the aptitude to mesh vertically. We will integrate the capacity of deliverables to deliver. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Gurustu is the industry leader of affiliate-based paradigms. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. The metrics for killer CAD are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, real-world. We will amplify our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. Think long-term. Think cross-media. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our aptitude to implement without lessening our ability to benchmark. Think customized, C2C2C. We will synthesize the capacity of all-hands meetings to generate. Without research and development, you will lack power shifts. Gurustu is the industry leader of collaborative user interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think visionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user communities but our power to recontextualize. What does the jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XForms. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to scale without lessening our aptitude to harness. Think nano-intra-value-added.