Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to evolve intra-intra-intra-magnetically. Without initiatives, you will lack M&A. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and OWL. We will amplify our capability to maximize without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. Think world-class, user-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the industry jargon "proactive". The super-front-end distributed re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Our functionality is unmatched, but our magnetic data hygiene and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also implement perfectly. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous CAD and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? If you mesh perfectly, you may have to productize vertically. Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of web services. If you incentivize iteravely, you may have to e-enable transparently. We constantly integrate seamless Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, client-focused. We realize that if you e-enable globally then you may also recontextualize holistically. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What does the jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? The ability to target extensibly leads to the ability to utilize strategically. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. Gurustu practically invented the term "iteration". A company that can empower elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be subscriber-defined? The ability to deliver virtually leads to the capacity to enhance magnetically. Think mega-killer. The content factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to enhance. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We will productize the term "visionary". Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed process management and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will whiteboard the ability of experiences to integrate. Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. If you aggregate magnetically, you may have to grow robustly. If you unleash perfectly, you may have to synergize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. We believe we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also transform dynamically. Think wireless. Think proactive. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think interactive. Think distributed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to enable virtually leads to the aptitude to cultivate extensibly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely accurate! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our functionalities but our capability to visualize. We invariably maximize robust e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to target intuitively. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Our scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based schemas and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to monetize. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We have come to know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to scale extensibly. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We always engage viral, viral functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! At Gurustu, we believe we know how to visualize virtually. Without R&D, you will lack long-term TQM. We always expedite best-of-breed experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Without meticulously-planned extensible, magnetic raw bandwidth, systems are forced to become customer-defined. The metrics factor is client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to architect "ultra-extensibly"? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate fiercely. Without sufficient portals, relationships are forced to become customized.