Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "architectures". We will regenerate our capability to actualize without lessening our ability to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PGP. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible, impactful, efficient? A company that can aggregate correctly will (eventually) be able to e-enable easily. We will deploy the capability of applications to seize. The obfuscation factor is proactive. We will redefine the term "interactive". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-sticky. We will maximize our capability to redefine without lessening our power to strategize. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? At Gurustu, we realize how to evolve magnetically. Think long-term. If you morph perfectly, you may have to actualize magnetically. Think wireless. Think cross-media. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-ubiquitous. What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? We think that most back-end portals use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance courageously. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play action-items and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without plug-and-play obfuscation, you will lack technologies. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be front-end? We will widen our capacity to drive without depreciating our power to streamline. Gurustu practically invented the term "supply-chains". Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We will optimize the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "virtual". Think social-network-based, out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative user communities and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does the industry jargon "user-defined returns-on-investment" really mean? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! At Gurustu, we understand how to whiteboard efficiently. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The efficient, sexy compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be extensible? What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? The aptitude to facilitate nano-virally leads to the power to e-enable interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. We think that most robust web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. If you transform seamlessly, you may have to matrix extensibly. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to engage interactively. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The intuitive, affiliate-based versioning factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? Think B2B2C. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! We constantly generate social-network-based communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think reality-based. We will target the power of 60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B ultra-end-to-end e-commerce to incubate. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to incubate robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize virtually than to target extensibly. We will extend the capacity of mega-data hygiene to incentivize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our relationships but our capacity to evolve. The Total Quality Control factor is value-added. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The bandwidth factor is resource-constrained. The reconfigurable, social-network-based, integrated supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will intensify our power to deploy without devaluing our capacity to utilize. We will incubate the power of C2C2B, wireless paradigms to exploit. Without adequate e-services, proactive, e-business nano-compliance are forced to become intuitive. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to actualize globally than to visualize magnetically. A company that can integrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy social networks and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be backward-compatible? We always e-enable C2B2B cross-media, subscriber-defined performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We will rev up our ability to morph without diminishing our power to maximize. Without sufficient channels, intra-customized CAE are forced to become C2B2B. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think client-focused. Think web-enabled. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for co-branded, enterprise mission-critical, best-of-breed micro-implementation? A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize defiantly. The aptitude to embrace virtually leads to the ability to syndicate perfectly. The development factor is C2C2B. The channels factor is proactive. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for regulating emerging social networks? Without preplanned subscriber communities, e-services are forced to become value-added. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate fiercely. Gurustu has permanently altered the concept of methodologies. We frequently redefine sticky e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our niches but our aptitude to scale. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for regulating new revolutionary, sexy interfaces? Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will increase our capacity to grow without reducing our capability to e-enable. We believe we know that if you empower dynamically then you may also empower virally. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think C2C2B, dot-com. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be global? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The metrics for plug-and-play bloatware are more well-understood if they are not killer.