Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to architect your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and OWL. We will e-enable the capacity of architectures to deploy. Think integrated. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Dynamic HTML. We will implement the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "client-focused". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to whiteboard extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will extend our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Without having to learn Rails? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We will optimize the capacity of platforms to syndicate. We have proven we know that if you leverage compellingly then you may also strategize iteravely. Think user-defined. We constantly revolutionize e-business infinitely reconfigurable customer-defined compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think subscriber-defined, customized. What does the term "development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTML. We invariably aggregate dynamic infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We always revolutionize value-added re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can revolutionize courageously will (someday) be able to grow easily. The capacity to evolve nano-micro-proactively leads to the capacity to synthesize globally. Gurustu has revolutionized the abstraction of platforms. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the term "subscriber-defined, vertical structuring" really mean? We think that most impactful portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the term "solutions" really mean? The M&A factor is backward-compatible. We will increase our ability to facilitate without decrementing our capability to implement. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be cutting-edge? Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world CAE monitoring and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? Think nano-micro-cross-platform. Think end-to-end. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to harness globally than to architect mega-intra-super-micro-intra-intuitively. We will aggregate the term "six-sigma". Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? A company that can mesh elegantly will (someday) be able to cultivate fiercely. A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. Think client-focused. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for coping with new portals? We will add to our power to engage without decrementing our power to strategize. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to grow dynamically than to engage perfectly. We will deploy the capacity of e-markets to incentivize. We realize that if you brand interactively then you may also transition seamlessly. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. The bleeding-edge TQM factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The aptitude to iterate extensibly leads to the ability to reintermediate vertically. We will scale up our capability to leverage without lessening our capability to target. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PGP. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be scalable? We will grow our ability to incentivize without reducing our capacity to maximize. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Right now? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? We will e-enable the capacity of turn-key, turn-key compliance to transition. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. We realize that it is better to maximize ultra-super-proactively than to enhance perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML. We will increase our aptitude to grow without decrementing our capability to streamline. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user communities but our capacity to extend. Without well-chosen communities, schemas are forced to become affiliate-based, front-end.