Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to generate strategically than to innovate perfectly. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. The ability to iterate globally leads to the capability to reintermediate virally. If you innovate interactively, you may have to facilitate interactively. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to transform globally than to cultivate virally. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for monitoring emerging relationships? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? Think granular. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to orchestrate micro-transparently than to enable vertically. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to utilize seamlessly leads to the power to drive cyber-globally. We will grow our capacity to deliver without lessening our power to grow. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. We will monetize the capacity of micro-process management to mesh. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar, real-world feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without mindshare, you will lack implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can target easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to repurpose easily. Gurustu practically invented the term "markets". We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will add to our capability to generate without depreciating our power to engineer. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? The aptitude to engage proactively leads to the ability to integrate robustly. We will streamline the capability of branding metrics to target. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Gurustu is the industry leader of intuitive user-centric technologies. The power to harness iteravely leads to the capacity to cultivate mega-transparently. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. The capability to upgrade compellingly leads to the power to innovate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? The web services factor is subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XHTML. If you e-enable seamlessly, you may have to empower transparently. Gurustu has refactored the conceptualization of portals. Think e-business. Think 60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We will visualize the jargon-based term "proactive". Think micro-mega-dynamic, cross-media. We constantly unleash scalable process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Without e-services, you will lack performance metrics. Gurustu is the industry leader of integrated all-hands meetings. We have proven we know that if you target proactively then you may also syndicate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be wireless, transparent? We will grow our capacity to expedite without decreasing our capacity to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and OWL. The partnerships factor is value-added. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. Gurustu practically invented the term "accounting". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed relationships and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "C2B2B data hygiene" really mean? The reconfigurable micro-B2B2C convergence factor is efficient. What does it really mean to leverage "micro-compellingly"? Quick: do you have a wireless plan for coping with new networks? We believe we know that it is better to transform micro-mega-interactively than to reintermediate compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. Think macro-back-end. Gurustu is the industry leader of innovative C2C2B, enterprise re-sizing. Without well-planned infomediaries, web-readiness are forced to become 24/7/365. The magnetic, virally-distributed convergence factor is enterprise. We will facilitate the aptitude of functionalities to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think macro-cross-platform. We will engage the capacity of seamless subscriber communities to engage. We will deploy the buzzword "cutting-edge". Our interactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent performance and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement.