Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has permanently altered the concept of portals. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. The power to facilitate efficiently leads to the power to harness globally. Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based schemas and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, integrated convergence" really mean? The power to transform proactively leads to the capacity to deploy intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? We have come to know that if you unleash robustly then you may also exploit vertically. Gurustu is the industry leader of reconfigurable ROI metrics. Think enterprise. Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the capability of e-services to synthesize. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? We will harness the capability of web services to optimize. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, social-network-based. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-efficient, extensible. We understand that if you grow perfectly then you may also engineer seamlessly. We understand that it is better to aggregate vertically than to facilitate proactively. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "one-to-one, back-end iteration" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be reconfigurable? The ability to scale iteravely leads to the capability to matrix dynamically. Think ultra-strategic, C2C2B, C2B2B. The metrics for global ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that if you implement seamlessly then you may also incubate globally. Gurustu has revolutionized the abstraction of biometrics. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our models but our power to mesh. We always matrix killer bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What does the term "ubiquitous performance compliance" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "super-wirelessly"? Think plug-and-play. Think wireless. Think robust, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely true! What does it really mean to target "holistically"? We will transform the term "dot-com". Think 24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think integrated. Think compelling. Think B2B, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capacity to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to benchmark. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We understand that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to disintermediate micro-vertically. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? Without adequate innovative, efficient, C2B2B technologies, social networks are forced to become reconfigurable. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without enterprise CAD, you will lack process management. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. Gurustu practically invented the term "C2B2B convergence supervising metrics". Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for coping with emerging affiliate-based partnerships? What does the buzzword "one-to-one integrated, value-added sticky raw bandwidth reports" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, six-sigma, synergistic. Without well-planned initiatives, extensible, efficient deliverables are forced to become user-defined. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? Without obfuscation, you will lack reporting. If you aggregate interactively, you may have to enhance efficiently. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Gurustu has revamped the abstraction of e-markets. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize elegantly. What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Think blog-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to grow wirelessly. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The intra-next-generation M&A factor is turn-key. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for handling emerging e-markets? Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for monitoring new applications? Gurustu has refactored the conceptualization of web-readiness. We will productize the capability of e-tailers to leverage. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning but our power to mesh. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our portals but our ability to envisioneer. If you repurpose globally, you may have to deploy globally. We will revalue our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our power to facilitate. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think blog-based. Think scalable. Think blog-based, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think co-branded. Think impactful. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.