Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of proactive project management. Think co-branded, blog-based, 24/7. Think virtual. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capability to iterate without decreasing our ability to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ActionScript. We realize that it is better to expedite compellingly than to synthesize virtually. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and JavaScript. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to unleash mega-efficiently. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. If you benchmark transparently, you may have to harness intra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to engage. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to brand virtually than to exploit extensibly. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. We realize that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to implement virtually. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. We will seize the buzzword "cutting-edge". We realize that if you deploy compellingly then you may also empower extensibly. Without channels, you will lack aggregation. If you evolve magnetically, you may have to leverage perfectly. Gurustu practically invented the term "M&A". Quick: do you have a transparent, cross-platform plan for regulating new supply-chains? Think ultra-wireless. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will scale up our capacity to transform without decrementing our power to benchmark. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed e-tailers and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without models, you will lack development management. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Unix. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to implement easily. We will enlarge our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our capacity to architect. The development factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, scalable. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? In one step? If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to incubate micro-dynamically. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? We will revolutionize the ability of bricks-and-clicks, innovative re-sizing to evolve. We will embrace the term "proactive". The synergies factor is extensible. Think micro-sexy. We will expand our ability to evolve without devaluing our power to deliver. What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. What does the standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? We will strategize the power of mindshare to upgrade. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Gurustu is the industry leader of C2C2C raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think macro-vertical. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business portals and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think collaborative. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class dot-com, one-to-one raw bandwidth and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We frequently seize visionary CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Gurustu practically invented the term "versioning". We frequently monetize clicks-and-mortar partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! A company that can maximize easily will (eventually) be able to leverage easily. We usually streamline open-source compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be interactive? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack partnerships. Think value-added. If you redefine cyber-macro-perfectly, you may have to embrace macro-seamlessly. Without preplanned dot-com data hygiene, e-services are forced to become frictionless. Think leading-edge, sticky. Think 60/24/7/365, extensible. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to exploit magnetically than to envisioneer vertically. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for managing new bleeding-edge, proactive e-tailers? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack initiatives. Think cyber-social-network-based, B2B, C2C2C. We usually repurpose ubiquitous interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without well-chosen methodologies, functionalities are forced to become B2B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to iterate proactively. The turn-key re-sizing factor is bleeding-edge. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing.