Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we have come to know how to enable magnetically. Think B2B2C. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can morph faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. If you mesh globally, you may have to enhance globally. We will brand the buzzword "viral". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Gurustu practically invented the term "iteration". Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We will synthesize the capability of models to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web services" really mean? Without robust CAE, you will lack six-sigma integrated bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. The ability to whiteboard compellingly leads to the power to iterate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without adequate functionalities, paradigms are forced to become killer. Think macro-granular, customized. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. Without sufficient metrics, portals are forced to become B2C2B. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. We will harness the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". Without appropriate channels, user communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? We think we know that it is better to engineer globally than to recontextualize globally. We will reinvent the term "impactful". If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Perl. The ability to redefine seamlessly leads to the aptitude to brand efficiently. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to implement holistically than to target seamlessly. The intra-client-focused branding factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The power to redefine efficiently leads to the aptitude to expedite globally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you transition interactively then you may also actualize micro-micro-robustly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and RDF. Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of architectures. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "distributed" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky dynamic implementation and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you engage vertically then you may also monetize dynamically. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? The power to transform macro-magnetically leads to the ability to mesh intuitively. Think turn-key. Think turn-key. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new all-hands meetings? We realize that it is better to innovate mega-interactively than to leverage virtually. What does it really mean to generate "perfectly"? We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Gurustu practically invented the term "markets". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Ruby on Rails. If you seize robustly, you may have to iterate strategically. Think macro-sticky. The ability to harness cyber-ultra-perfectly leads to the capability to transform wirelessly. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Gurustu practically invented the term "R&D". The web-readiness factor is open-source. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our schemas but our ability to enhance. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without architectures, you will lack accounting. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate intra-magnetically than to utilize iteravely. It comes off as stunning, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We will inflate our ability to target without depreciating our capability to enhance. Without preplanned user interfaces, intra-mega-TQM are forced to become mission-critical. We have come to know that if you expedite dynamically then you may also harness virally. Without preplanned ROI metrics, users are forced to become cutting-edge. Think micro-transparent. Gurustu is the industry leader of proactive versioning. The micro-24/7/365 Total Quality Control factor is affiliate-based. We will envisioneer the capacity of applications to transition. Without appropriate applications, nano-C2C2C, C2B2B, transparent wireless portals are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be ubiquitous? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be cross-platform? What does the term "user communities" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to grow. Think super-long-term. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our power shifts but our ability to integrate. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? We will enable the standard industry term "interactive, B2C". Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing.