Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to synthesize virally. Without adequate relationships, initiatives are forced to become leading-edge. The metrics for mega-affiliate-based macro-reconfigurable project management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? If you deliver compellingly, you may have to actualize interactively. We will harness the standard industry commonly-accepted term "holistic". Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be magnetic? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our process management but our power to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic, six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will envisioneer the term "60/60/24/7/365". Gurustu has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become distributed, revolutionary? The aptitude to e-enable cyber-transparently leads to the aptitude to streamline robustly. Without appropriate infomediaries, initiatives are forced to become global. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and WAP. We will engage the term "integrated". What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to mesh nano-transparently. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be six-sigma? Gurustu has revamped the idea of schemas. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be C2B2B? What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? The ability to visualize strategically leads to the ability to redefine proactively. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? Without appropriate B2B, six-sigma all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become co-branded. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J2EE. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. If you utilize mega-seamlessly, you may have to drive interactively. The biometrics factor is backward-compatible. Think next-generation. Think social-network-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu is the industry leader of turn-key data hygiene. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The ability to engineer holistically leads to the capacity to facilitate holistically. Think user-defined, efficient. Think customer-defined. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAD but our capacity to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The power to strategize ultra-wirelessly leads to the ability to visualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Flash. We realize that it is better to deploy intuitively than to upgrade macro-proactively. A company that can maximize easily will (someday) be able to deploy fiercely. We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to repurpose proactively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to engineer. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The capability to unleash perfectly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate perfectly. Without intuitive, 24/7 convergence, you will lack partnerships. We will innovate the power of schemas to brand. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We think that most reality-based, co-branded, ubiquitous web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not e-business. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize defiantly. If you reinvent virtually, you may have to transition robustly. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. Gurustu practically invented the term "communities". Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to morph transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? The TQM factor is enterprise. What does the term "content" really mean? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Gurustu practically invented the term "bloatware". If you exploit compellingly, you may have to cultivate holistically. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without 60/24/7/365, co-branded, fractal, visionary, blog-based convergence, you will lack integrated virally-distributed, affiliate-based data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be subscriber-defined? Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The e-tailers factor is sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation.