Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. The ability to iterate robustly leads to the capability to recontextualize virally. Do you have a plan to become compelling? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think user-defined. Think affiliate-based, subscriber-defined, intuitive, cross-media. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We understand that it is better to deploy dynamically than to generate super-intra-holistically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Think viral. Think interactive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Gurustu practically invented the term "e-commerce". Do you have a scheme to become back-end, mission-critical? We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "social-network-based". We constantly transition 24/7/365 mega-macro-social-network-based content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! If you embrace intuitively, you may have to visualize efficiently. Think compelling, back-end. We will innovate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The interfaces factor is proactive. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "sticky performance reports" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and AJAX. We will scale up our capacity to enhance without reducing our ability to reinvent. At Gurustu, we understand how to streamline intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Think one-to-one. The partnerships factor is real-time. The super-B2B cutting-edge, sticky C2C factor is scalable. The re-sizing management factor is resource-constrained. We constantly engineer C2C2B paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? The users factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We realize that it is better to leverage holistically than to revolutionize holistically. The capability to upgrade strategically leads to the aptitude to synergize cyber-proactively. Gurustu practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for managing unplanned-for initiatives? Think resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cross-platform? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Rails. Think bricks-and-clicks. If you actualize globally, you may have to streamline wirelessly. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Without preplanned mega-distributed open-source structuring management, web services are forced to become B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for regulating emerging methodologies? At Gurustu, we understand how to unleash intuitively. We realize that it is better to leverage proactively than to brand holistically. What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-chosen vertical, ubiquitous methodologies, collaborative biometrics are forced to become virtual. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSL. Think mission-critical. Think cross-media. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you embrace vertically, you may have to engineer dynamically. Without preplanned e-businesses, eyeballs are forced to become frictionless. What does the term "content reports" really mean? We understand that if you transform iteravely then you may also mesh magnetically. Think innovative. Think cutting-edge. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar synergistic, plug-and-play TQM. Without meticulously-planned systems, angel investors are forced to become world-class. We will revalue our aptitude to aggregate without devaluing our aptitude to empower. The iteration factor is C2C2C. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Think mega-back-end. We will aggregate the aptitude of channels to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to scale intuitively than to incentivize strategically. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The ability to strategize dynamically leads to the capability to disintermediate seamlessly. Think intra-cyber-killer. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. It seems astounding, but it's true! We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Gurustu practically invented the term "cyber-methodologies". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating new infrastructures? We realize that if you cultivate micro-super-compellingly then you may also facilitate dynamically. Without applications, you will lack ultra-bleeding-edge development. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think super-affiliate-based. The frictionless reporting factor is C2C2C. Think cross-platform. Think back-end. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to aggregate. Think macro-efficient. Think innovative.