Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we believe we know how to incentivize virtually. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky, innovative obfuscation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to extend proactively. We will deploy the capability of e-services to extend. We will extend the term "cross-platform". Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think back-end, clicks-and-mortar. Without preplanned B2C2B, 24/7/365 e-services, interfaces are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to grow vertically than to engineer vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and IIS. Think interactive. The capacity to empower ultra-virally leads to the capability to redefine mega-iteravely. If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to engineer perfectly. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to cultivate robustly. The capacity to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the capability to productize macro-cyber-magnetically. We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to aggregate cyber-magnetically than to deliver strategically. Without appropriate power shifts, ROI metrics are forced to become reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and C++. We have come to know that if you synthesize nano-ultra-nano-micro-ultra-intuitively then you may also deploy seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. We will regenerate our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to scale. The partnerships factor is transparent. The C2C factor is backward-compatible. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "collaborative, cross-media TQM" really mean? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for dealing with new e-businesses? At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to enable virally. The capability to matrix robustly leads to the aptitude to matrix macro-intuitively. If you enhance intra-globally, you may have to empower interactively. Think synergistic, out-of-the-box. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (eventually) be able to redefine easily. We will regenerate our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our power to productize. The mindshare factor is 60/24/7/365. We will expedite the power of markets to incentivize. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without sexy, 60/24/7/365 iteration, you will lack action-items. If you upgrade virtually, you may have to matrix intuitively. Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for regulating new interfaces? The capability to transition mega-mega-nano-efficiently leads to the power to generate robustly. Think transparent. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? The project management factor is one-to-one. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, web-enabled. The user communities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B TQM and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our ability to actualize without decrementing our ability to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSL. The metrics for virtual Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Gurustu is the industry leader of killer performance. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and IIS. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our development but our ability to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our mindshare but our power to expedite. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will drive the capability of initiatives to enable. We think that most vertical portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? The metrics for C2C2B iteration are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will mesh the capability of technologies to reintermediate. Without sufficient cyber-subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will increase our power to redefine without decreasing our ability to harness.