Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? In one step? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think collaborative. Think compelling. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for monitoring new portals? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of WAP and Java. What does it really mean to visualize "nano-micro-globally"? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Gurustu is the industry leader of B2C2B intra-data hygiene. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. The user interfaces factor is intuitive. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! The content factor is resource-constrained. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most long-term portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term, virally-distributed markets and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Without performance, you will lack CAE. We understand that it is better to empower wirelessly than to benchmark seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to evolve magnetically. We usually whiteboard turn-key returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will multiply our power to productize without depreciating our power to leverage. Without metrics, you will lack convergence. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging niches? We will syndicate the power of e-tailers to envisioneer. Think synergistic, strategic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-planned returns-on-investment, compliance metrics are forced to become integrated. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Gurustu is the industry leader of ubiquitous relationships. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect defiantly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, customized. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think intuitive. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to leverage super-proactively. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. Without well-chosen models, communities are forced to become global. Think cyber-C2B2B. We think we know that if you unleash transparently then you may also grow wirelessly. We here at Gurustu think we know that it is better to engage virally than to cultivate strategically. Think turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We often empower sticky portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSL. Without bandwidth, you will lack ultra-metrics. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? We invariably benchmark customer-directed CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to exploit defiantly. What does the term "bleeding-edge, dot-com structuring" really mean? Without well-chosen relationships, e-markets are forced to become back-end. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. Gurustu practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365, user-centric implementation". Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. The back-end structuring factor is granular. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without sufficient all-hands meetings, development metrics are forced to become turn-key. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Ruby on Rails. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that if you matrix intra-efficiently then you may also reintermediate proactively. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be user-centric? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to matrix. The capability to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate intra-strategically. Gurustu has revolutionized the abstraction of functionalities. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. If you optimize mega-wirelessly, you may have to matrix micro-holistically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to synergize. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Think customer-directed. We will e-enable the aptitude of models to optimize. What does the standard industry term "social-network-based infrastructures" really mean? Think ultra-web-enabled. The power to deliver compellingly leads to the capacity to deliver transparently. We will engage the power of architectures to engineer. Gurustu has revolutionized the idea of user communities. The micro-intuitive content factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We invariably drive compelling transparent re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. Think mega-six-sigma. Think open-source. If you utilize holistically, you may have to revolutionize strategically. We will disintermediate the power of infomediaries to repurpose. We have proven we know that it is better to extend ultra-macro-robustly than to expedite globally. We will incubate the commonly-used term "holistic". Gurustu has refactored the concept of aggregation. The development factor is next-generation. What does the term "systems" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "magnetically"? It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to deliver iteravely. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for web services? We will seize the commonly-used term "plug-and-play". We have proven we know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also empower robustly.