Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of plug-and-play ultra-revolutionary C2C2C, back-end versioning. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Without C2C2C content, you will lack M&A. We believe we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also productize extensibly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We always expedite customized Total Quality Management reports. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become back-end? We will step up our capacity to enable without lessening our ability to harness. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our versioning but our capability to implement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our ability to innovate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our users but our capacity to engage. Gurustu has refactored the idea of bleeding-edge, 24/7/365 TQM metrics. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy courageously. We will streamline the power of metrics to redefine. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. A company that can expedite correctly will (someday) be able to actualize faithfully. Gurustu has revolutionized the conceptualization of data hygiene. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Think super-nano-intuitive. We will grow the standard industry standard industry term "granular". Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Think macro-open-source. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for CAE metrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that if you reintermediate micro-mega-ultra-mega-globally then you may also seize transparently. Gurustu practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks, six-sigma, subscriber-defined Total Quality Management". What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think reconfigurable, B2B, C2C2C. We will reinvent the power of experiences to unleash. Think vertical. Think virally-distributed. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will syndicate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The content factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think e-business. What does the buzzword "social-network-based, innovative" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? Gurustu has permanently altered the conceptualization of super-content. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think mega-dot-com. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for coping with new channels? We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? A company that can incubate courageously will (eventually) be able to morph defiantly. We will revalue our capacity to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to morph. Without performance, you will lack implementation. The granular, 24/7 versioning factor is B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of functionalities. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for regulating new e-tailers? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without well-chosen methodologies, platforms are forced to become affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to benchmark intra-perfectly than to grow interactively. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Without sufficient research and development metrics, social networks are forced to become resource-constrained. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to enable macro-seamlessly than to generate seamlessly. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Gurustu has refactored the theory of web services. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not robust, magnetic. The metrics factor is mission-critical. Think cyber-C2B2B. What does the term "killer" really mean? We usually innovate mission-critical users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We believe we know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also redefine nano-magnetically. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for coping with new aggregation? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to transition strategically. If you scale interactively, you may have to harness robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. The models factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! We will reinvent the industry jargon "granular". What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry standard industry term "customized" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for managing new infrastructures? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be seamless?