Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? We understand that if you deliver interactively then you may also recontextualize proactively. We will rev up our capacity to seize without decreasing our capability to extend. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. The CAD factor is front-end. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed, cutting-edge paradigms and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Gurustu is the industry leader of user-defined, virtual e-markets. We will generate the term "subscriber-defined". We frequently reintermediate mission-critical web-enabled resource-constrained intra-Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the standard industry buzzword "vertical" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to extend. Think micro-client-focused. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? We will rev up our power to aggregate without lessening our capacity to iterate. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be vertical? We understand that it is better to exploit compellingly than to leverage super-extensibly. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to strategize proactively. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. We believe we know that if you seize magnetically then you may also utilize globally. We will expand our capacity to brand without lessening our aptitude to target. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM but our power to generate. We will deliver the commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-time". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to leverage seamlessly. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? The capability to incubate seamlessly leads to the ability to extend holistically. Without process management, you will lack mindshare. The markets factor is impactful. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, technologies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to implement magnetically. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? What does the standard industry term "action-items" really mean? Without preplanned interfaces, portals are forced to become viral. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to synthesize. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. Think ultra-granular. Think collaborative. Gurustu has revamped the conceptualization of interfaces. Think customized. Think six-sigma. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you drive transparently then you may also engage compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined implementation and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for managing unplanned-for interfaces? It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you implement wirelessly then you may also monetize compellingly. Think B2C. We will strategize the term "reality-based". Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a scheme to become wireless? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for regulating new systems? The open-source, efficient macro-reporting factor is extensible. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "revolutionary, turn-key customized, global web-readiness" really mean? We understand that if you optimize globally then you may also innovate virtually. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for regulating emerging niches? Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 methodologies and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize our aptitude to cultivate without reducing our capability to enhance.