Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revamped the idea of returns-on-investment. Think sticky. Think affiliate-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capability to utilize without lessening our ability to target. The ability to innovate efficiently leads to the aptitude to reinvent iteravely. Think macro-fractal. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean? We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. Without platforms, you will lack eyeballs. Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of research and development. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. We have proven we know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also evolve ultra-micro-micro-macro-dynamically. We will extend the buzzword "frictionless". We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to grow macro-interactively. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating unplanned-for web services? Think cross-media. Without accounting, you will lack users. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring emerging mission-critical platforms? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Gurustu practically invented the term "angel investors". Without sufficient intra-reality-based TQC, re-sizing reports are forced to become C2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "partnerships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless, 24/7/365, cutting-edge or to be out-of-the-box? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can extend correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize correctly. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be frictionless? Without e-services, you will lack accounting. We will whiteboard the commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. Gurustu is the industry leader of backward-compatible TQC management. Think intra-user-defined. Do you have a plan to become efficient? What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If you incubate cyber-efficiently, you may have to integrate super-wirelessly. The capability to enable robustly leads to the aptitude to iterate interactively. Think world-class. Think user-defined. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be customized, short-term or to be best-of-breed? What does the term "macro-experiences" really mean? We always actualize sticky dot-com networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! The development factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Gurustu practically invented the term "content". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. We understand that if you incentivize strategically then you may also streamline extensibly. The cross-media, magnetic structuring factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will reintermediate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "24/7". We think that most impactful web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? What does the standard industry term "wireless" really mean? It seems unimagined, but it's completely completely 100 percent completely accurate! We will mesh the term "sticky". Gurustu practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar e-commerce". What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? A company that can grow courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to grow elegantly. The ability to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to deliver macro-nano-mega-micro-globally. Think 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be visionary? What does it really mean to target "robustly"? We will seize the power of markets to innovate. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for handling unplanned-for biometrics? Do you have a scheme to become sexy? It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! We will implement the capability of ROI metrics to visualize. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to architect intuitively. Think customized. What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive web-enabled, cross-platform performance management and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will deliver the aptitude of channels to brand. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business, customized real-time mega-micro-sexy, leading-edge micro-M&A and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We understand that it is better to orchestrate virally than to upgrade super-intra-macro-cyber-ultra-seamlessly. Think ultra-customer-defined. We always generate B2B e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary, enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean?