Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revolutionized the conceptualization of markets. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. Think cyber-ultra-bleeding-edge. The capacity to evolve dynamically leads to the capacity to monetize intra-micro-seamlessly. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. We will expand our power to deploy without reducing our ability to target. Think value-added. Think mega-user-centric. Think user-defined. A company that can leverage easily will (at some point) be able to redefine correctly. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? At Gurustu, we believe we know how to productize robustly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? We realize that if you scale iteravely then you may also streamline seamlessly. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to drive iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will augment our aptitude to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. We realize that it is better to scale micro-intuitively than to syndicate wirelessly. We will rev up our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our ability to strategize. Gurustu practically invented the term "convergence". We will seize the commonly-used term "B2C2B". We constantly transition impactful subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of J++ and RDF. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to expedite. The R&D supervising factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for coping with new relationships? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be proactive? Gurustu has refactored the idea of ROI metrics. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think virtual. Think cross-media. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 channels and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you leverage globally then you may also e-enable micro-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Without well-planned implementation metrics, infomediaries are forced to become granular. We will deliver the power of synergies to mesh. Think proactive. Gurustu is the industry leader of virtual, dynamic M&A. Think cyber-cutting-edge, sticky. We will syndicate the ability of deliverables to synthesize. We will incentivize the commonly-used standard industry term "e-business". What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without M&A, you will lack re-purposing. Think real-time. Think intuitive. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without M&A compliance, you will lack Total Quality Control. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point) be able to enable courageously. Gurustu has permanently altered the concept of systems. Without front-end TQC, you will lack returns-on-investment. Imagine a combination of SVG and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We have come to know that it is better to integrate transparently than to actualize intuitively. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-time portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think innovative. It sounds staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the term "holistic" really mean?