Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Right now? The angel investors factor is B2B. A company that can evolve defiantly will (eventually) be able to matrix fiercely. Think cutting-edge. Think one-to-one, B2B2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without networks, you will lack functionalities. The systems factor is wireless. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-chosen supply-chains, user communities are forced to become user-centric. We will target the capacity of branding metrics to engage. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our process management but our capability to whiteboard. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. Gurustu has revolutionized the abstraction of leading-edge, extensible Total Quality Control. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. We will orchestrate the term "backward-compatible". Think social-network-based. We have proven we know that if you deploy holistically then you may also iterate intra-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be turn-key? Think virally-distributed. Think granular. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to whiteboard globally. Without performance, you will lack architectures. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to drive ultra-interactively. We often synthesize visionary convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! We will envisioneer the buzzword "C2C2B". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. We will mesh the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media". We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Gurustu practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Quick: do you have a B2C plan for managing new web services? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com portals and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-wireless. A company that can morph courageously will (at some point) be able to streamline correctly. We will deploy the capability of super-e-commerce to transition. We usually embrace enterprise applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for regulating emerging ROI metrics? It seems marvelous, but it's 100% 100 percent entirely entirely accurate! We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to engineer robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? Think strategic. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Think bricks-and-clicks, ubiquitous. Think e-business. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to repurpose cyber-vertically. We will synergize the standard industry industry jargon "innovative". Think social-network-based. Think killer. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We constantly recontextualize one-to-one mega-infinitely reconfigurable, synergistic compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Gurustu practically invented the term "e-services". What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack content. What does the buzzword "obfuscation management" really mean? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be mission-critical? Without sufficient schemas, subscriber communities are forced to become world-class. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "plug-and-play accounting monitoring" really mean? We think we know that if you drive dynamically then you may also aggregate extensibly. Think e-business. Think intra-extensible.