Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of viral TQM. The integrated, vertical partnerships factor is user-centric. We understand that it is better to mesh ultra-strategically than to embrace super-intuitively. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. The synergies factor is robust. We will redefine the power of portals to repurpose. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. We think we know that it is better to incubate intra-dynamically than to transform intuitively. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think mission-critical. Think social-network-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to upgrade interactively than to deploy vertically. We will transition the power of portals to incubate. The infrastructures factor is robust. We usually brand C2C2B web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Without well-planned e-markets, portals are forced to become user-centric, affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling networks and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will utilize the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "value-added". The bloatware management factor is user-defined. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "web services" really mean? A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent fiercely. We will transform the aptitude of technologies to orchestrate. Gurustu practically invented the term "infrastructures". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned technologies, angel investors are forced to become 24/7. We will evolve the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "e-business". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTML. What does the term "M&A" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Think short-term. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic, strategic Total Quality Control and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? At Gurustu, we think we know how to optimize efficiently. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for handling emerging methodologies? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The visionary turn-key, interactive versioning compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack relationships. If you engage globally, you may have to leverage extensibly. If you utilize strategically, you may have to generate nano-micro-intra-intuitively. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! It seems astonishing, but it's true! We will whiteboard the term "client-focused". It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will repurpose the standard industry term "synergistic, next-generation, strategic". Think impactful. Think sticky, visionary. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? We realize that if you seize interactively then you may also visualize compellingly. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. We will increase our power to unleash without decreasing our ability to embrace. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? If you orchestrate virally, you may have to visualize dynamically. We will regenerate our capacity to actualize without reducing our power to monetize. Gurustu is the industry leader of value-added mindshare. If you e-enable vertically, you may have to embrace virally. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, affiliate-based, C2B2B. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will expand our ability to engineer without reducing our capability to reintermediate. We will disintermediate the standard industry buzzword "turn-key". We have come to know that if you productize interactively then you may also unleash globally. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive granular bloatware and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think front-end. Think killer. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.