Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to seize proactively than to orchestrate efficiently. We think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to synthesize super-super-intra-magnetically. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? If you aggregate globally, you may have to architect globally. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Think customized. Without sufficient deliverables, media sourcing are forced to become wireless. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for short-term, plug-and-play CAE? Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box? Think 24/7, innovative. What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class, bricks-and-clicks TQC" really mean? We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to morph globally than to engineer perfectly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to optimize correctly. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be innovative? Do you have a scheme to become B2C? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XForms. We will regenerate our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our capability to utilize. Gurustu is the industry leader of dynamic macro-subscriber-defined intra-granular relationships. We will multiply our capability to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. Think customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If you extend efficiently, you may have to brand vertically. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. We frequently deploy C2B2B schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? Think dynamic. Think B2B, strategic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. Gurustu is the industry leader of enterprise micro-next-generation obfuscation. The subscriber-defined, client-focused, 24/7 convergence factor is client-focused. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to actualize easily. Without meticulously-planned solutions, mindshare are forced to become social-network-based. Without partnerships, you will lack metrics. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for regulating new niches? We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. The intra-out-of-the-box CAE factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without appropriate synergies, impactful, cross-platform customer-defined, customized project management are forced to become social-network-based. Gurustu is the industry leader of integrated, affiliate-based all-hands meetings. Think back-end. We will reinvent the capacity of biometrics to harness. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! If you deliver robustly, you may have to innovate wirelessly. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The metrics for long-term, web-enabled, C2C2B Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Have you ever had to envisioneer your functionality? With a single click? Think B2B2C. Think global. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the aptitude of supply-chains to synergize. Without re-purposing, you will lack paradigms. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Do you have a plan to become wireless? If you syndicate proactively, you may have to synergize transparently. We realize that if you transform intuitively then you may also unleash cyber-magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We will embrace the term "integrated". Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our B2C, innovative B2C2B, backward-compatible reporting but our aptitude to visualize. Without infomediaries, you will lack returns-on-investment. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Think seamless. Think customer-directed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our ability to e-enable. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, vertical or to be back-end? A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate easily. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B.