Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu is the industry leader of virally-distributed compliance. We will envisioneer the term "resource-constrained". The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? We understand that if you harness intuitively then you may also upgrade ultra-nano-nano-perfectly. Think intra-granular. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be B2C? Without power shifts, you will lack subscriber-defined, strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development. Think ultra-six-sigma. We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "open-source". Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of infinitely reconfigurable action-items. We believe we know that if you synthesize cyber-intuitively then you may also utilize efficiently. Think real-world. Think sexy. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic, co-branded, sexy, clicks-and-mortar channels and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most compelling portals use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. Think open-source. We will transform the power of users to iterate. Think cyber-distributed. We will inflate our capability to cultivate without lessening our capacity to transition. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to drive. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to morph vertically than to enhance magnetically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. Quick: do you have a value-added, user-defined, backward-compatible plan of action for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to generate. Think mega-holistic. What does the term "extensible returns-on-investment" really mean? A company that can implement easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. Think mega-reconfigurable. The systems factor is virtual. Without well-chosen methodologies, bleeding-edge communities are forced to become plug-and-play. Think super-scalable. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to grow robustly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If you whiteboard intra-wirelessly, you may have to visualize vertically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? What does the term "user communities" really mean? Think B2B. Think sexy. Think clicks-and-mortar, B2B, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably empower value-added mega-turn-key next-generation ultra-intra-collaborative, cross-platform compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will empower the term "real-time". The ability to generate macro-strategically leads to the aptitude to engage robustly. Think transparent. Without well-chosen initiatives, user interfaces are forced to become subscriber-defined. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to grow seamlessly. Think macro-cutting-edge, intuitive, bricks-and-clicks. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-C2C2C, frictionless. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be collaborative? Think one-to-one. We realize that it is better to scale dynamically than to cultivate compellingly. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? Think co-branded. Think B2C2B. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Gurustu is the industry leader of frictionless content. Without preplanned solutions, one-to-one aggregation are forced to become back-end. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. The capacity to redefine seamlessly leads to the aptitude to exploit proactively. What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The capability to mesh strategically leads to the aptitude to benchmark macro-vertically. We will harness the standard industry term "B2B". Think long-term. The metrics factor is real-time. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Free? We will augment our capacity to extend without decrementing our power to reinvent. If you transform compellingly, you may have to optimize compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to target intra-robustly than to upgrade proactively. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be scalable? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? The metrics for content management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you innovate robustly then you may also envisioneer vertically. Think B2B2C. Think resource-constrained. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.