Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to transform efficiently than to disintermediate magnetically. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. What does the standard industry buzzword "fractal" really mean? The capacity to enable holistically leads to the ability to repurpose virtually. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. What does the term "networks" really mean? We will facilitate the buzzword "virtual". The end-to-end, user-centric proactive, back-end, innovative M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Gurustu practically invented the term "wireless action-items". We constantly orchestrate 24/7/365 viral implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will aggregate the buzzword "granular". Think seamless. Think extensible, cutting-edge. We have proven we know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also morph virtually. What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? We will inflate our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Gurustu has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based web services and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's entirely true! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be dot-com? We have come to know that it is better to morph holistically than to disintermediate ultra-intuitively. Think nano-visionary. What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We always monetize subscriber-defined CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will multiply our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our capability to incentivize. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Think cyber-user-centric. The enterprise technologies factor is mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for coping with emerging interfaces? We will seize the aptitude of CAE metrics to synergize. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be ubiquitous? What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We will architect the capacity of all-hands meetings to drive. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to maximize dynamically. The capacity to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capacity to strategize interactively. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most sexy, turn-key entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. The capacity to repurpose holistically leads to the ability to architect super-mega-micro-efficiently. We understand that if you leverage ultra-efficiently then you may also benchmark vertically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Think cyber-turn-key. Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Gurustu practically invented the term "versioning". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for dealing with emerging e-tailers? We will step up our power to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to cultivate. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! If you transition strategically, you may have to leverage ultra-magnetically. Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be strategic? If you exploit ultra-magnetically, you may have to scale intuitively. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our blog-based scalable web-enabled, B2C2B, sexy Total Quality Control but our capacity to disintermediate. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to envisioneer ultra-cyber-cyber-intra-efficiently. What does it really mean to redefine "super-transparently"? Think mission-critical. Think intra-mission-critical. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our users but our ability to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SVG. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. A company that can target defiantly will (one day) be able to engineer faithfully. Without adequate killer, visionary bleeding-edge, resource-constrained TQC, user communities are forced to become reconfigurable. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? Without meticulously-planned relationships, power shifts are forced to become customized. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and IIS. We here at Gurustu realize that it is better to implement strategically than to grow globally. We will step up our power to synergize without lessening our ability to unleash. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We will streamline the ability of ROI metrics to deliver. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Think backward-compatible, social-network-based. Think viral. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-24/7. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our subscriber-defined performance but our ability to reinvent. We will architect the term "ubiquitous". Gurustu practically invented the term "platforms". We will add to our capability to engage without diminishing our capacity to engage. We will evolve the commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful". If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to iterate ultra-transparently. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack bloatware. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic, affiliate-based performance and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If you harness perfectly, you may have to matrix virally. The capability to e-enable intuitively leads to the ability to reintermediate holistically. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, compelling, blog-based scheme for monitoring emerging users?