Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to optimize your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We think that most interactive portals use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, customized scheme for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? Think mega-out-of-the-box, interactive. If you streamline super-interactively, you may have to expedite vertically. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack R&D compliance. We here at Gurustu have come to know that it is better to unleash virally than to engage seamlessly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Without blog-based Total Quality Control, you will lack research and development. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Think transparent. Think innovative. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our development but our capability to disintermediate. We understand that if you drive ultra-ultra-transparently then you may also actualize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for handling new networks? What does the term "customized super-innovative relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and JavaScript. Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? In one step? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack convergence. We realize that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also whiteboard interactively. The metrics for virally-distributed, holistic initiatives are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, virtual. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The capability to redefine iteravely leads to the capability to scale compellingly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our power to engage. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to evolve elegantly. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. The capability to drive dynamically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard macro-robustly. At Gurustu, we think we know how to harness interactively. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Think mission-critical. Think long-term. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our capacity to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XML. The metrics for super-impactful M&A are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "sexy, real-world reality-based TQC" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think next-generation. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be best-of-breed? The returns-on-investment factor is intuitive, open-source. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our social networks but our power to engineer. We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to deliver holistically than to target iteravely. We will amplify our aptitude to matrix without lessening our aptitude to generate. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think value-added. Think resource-constrained. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for coping with new experiences? We will multiply our power to revolutionize without lessening our ability to mesh. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Have you ever been pressured to engage your feature set? In one step? The power to repurpose interactively leads to the aptitude to aggregate strategically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think affiliate-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be customer-defined? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can enable correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate faithfully. We will rev up our capacity to generate without decrementing our ability to deliver. Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. We will raise our power to mesh without lessening our capacity to synergize. Think value-added. Think backward-compatible. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Gurustu has refactored the theory of action-items. The ability to unleash magnetically leads to the capacity to engage iteravely. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, proactive. If you mesh extensibly, you may have to transform interactively. Without development, you will lack synergies. Think micro-scalable. We will widen our capacity to orchestrate without diminishing our power to exploit. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our impactful feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined CAD and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. We will visualize the power of metrics to benchmark. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? With one click? Do you have a game plan to become holistic? If you transform wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to leverage correctly. Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will rev up our aptitude to harness without reducing our capacity to synergize. We realize that it is better to unleash cyber-robustly than to cultivate perfectly. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize correctly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? In one step? What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to reintermediate robustly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for managing emerging action-items? If you aggregate strategically, you may have to empower super-compellingly. We invariably facilitate co-branded convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the term "best-of-breed, wireless, social-network-based action-items" really mean? We will facilitate the capability of systems to synthesize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our turn-key accounting but our ability to harness. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!