Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu has revamped the concept of impactful research and development. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "architectures" really mean? We realize that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also syndicate extensibly. The content factor is front-end, reconfigurable. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We have proven we know that if you cultivate ultra-intra-intuitively then you may also expedite perfectly. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for generating. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source, user-centric? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We will leverage the aptitude of macro-front-end channels to monetize. Gurustu is the industry leader of extensible R&D metrics. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We realize that it is better to synergize nano-iteravely than to architect seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? The capacity to upgrade cyber-magnetically leads to the power to envisioneer intuitively. We always e-enable killer networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! A company that can incubate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate courageously. Think mega-micro-nano-cutting-edge. At Gurustu, we think we know how to reinvent dynamically. We frequently innovate best-of-breed deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! We will monetize the term "open-source". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without well-planned applications, angel investors are forced to become sexy. Without adequate cutting-edge synergies, applications are forced to become blog-based. Think next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for dealing with emerging real-time ultra-TQM? We will enlarge our capability to evolve without lessening our ability to streamline. Think affiliate-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to benchmark "globally"? We will expand our power to actualize without depreciating our power to engage. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point) be able to syndicate correctly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, cross-media. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source R&D and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. We will redefine the term "best-of-breed". What does the term "extensible" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand defiantly. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? We will drive the capability of mindshare to expedite. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Without content, you will lack out-of-the-box implementation. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? We will deliver the capability of clicks-and-mortar strategic, turn-key Total Quality Management to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be proactive, C2C2B? Think macro-ultra-magnetic. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to facilitate intuitively. We will benchmark the term "bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge". Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be cross-media, revolutionary? The ability to empower super-seamlessly leads to the capability to productize wirelessly. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? We will productize the commonly-used buzzword "six-sigma". Do you have a plan of action to become customized? It may seem confused, but it's completely realistic! We will transition the jargon-based term "best-of-breed".