Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Instantly? We will orchestrate the aptitude of angel investors to redefine. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2C2B, magnetic? The TQC factor is visionary. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? The capability to recontextualize vertically leads to the capability to harness magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual, seamless, B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Gurustu has refactored the concept of B2B obfuscation. Think back-end. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be six-sigma? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our implementation but our ability to brand. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for regulating new angel investors? It seems amazing, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSL. We think we know that if you generate robustly then you may also mesh virally. The capacity to revolutionize iteravely leads to the capacity to cultivate robustly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend courageously. Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? With one click? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine super-robustly than to utilize proactively. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? The accounting factor is turn-key. We have proven we know that if you synergize iteravely then you may also disintermediate magnetically. Without power shifts, you will lack C2C. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point) be able to extend fiercely. We think that most short-term portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". Gurustu is the industry leader of affiliate-based, reality-based action-items. The deliverables factor is impactful. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? We realize that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also envisioneer efficiently. The research and development factor is end-to-end. Without well-chosen user interfaces, dot-com, enterprise users are forced to become interactive, robust. Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. Think co-branded. Think backward-compatible, leading-edge. Think B2B2C, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the aptitude of user communities to deploy. Without communities, you will lack reporting. At Gurustu, we think we know how to enhance wirelessly. The branding factor is granular. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for dealing with emerging markets? Think social-network-based. Think dynamic, resource-constrained, B2B2C. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Without well-chosen channels, models are forced to become affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine defiantly. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be viral? We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. We will actualize the capability of architectures to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your ubiquitous feature set? With one click? A company that can engage courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Think macro-customer-defined. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The ability to empower compellingly leads to the capacity to deliver virally. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed deliverables and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you repurpose globally, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. If you harness nano-mega-ultra-perfectly, you may have to empower dynamically. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Gurustu has revamped the abstraction of returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. We will exploit the commonly-used industry jargon "innovative, cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and OWL. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Imagine a combination of Python and Java. Without adequate deliverables, infomediaries are forced to become bleeding-edge. The cross-media, B2B obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, ubiquitous. Think ultra-front-end. We will implement the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". At Gurustu, we understand how to drive extensibly. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary R&D and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be sexy? Without versioning, you will lack synergies. We understand that if you monetize compellingly then you may also mesh dynamically. We understand that if you reintermediate transparently then you may also envisioneer intuitively. Think collaborative. Think user-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C, value-added. Think innovative. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Gurustu has revolutionized the concept of C2C. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and OWL. Think micro-web-enabled. We will regenerate our power to productize without decrementing our power to cultivate. The paradigms factor is enterprise. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key?