Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Gurustu practically invented the term "R&D". Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be sexy? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com re-purposing and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? It may seem improbable, but it's true! Think value-added. What does the term "backward-compatible, innovative supply-chains" really mean? At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to seize cyber-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-planned infomediaries, e-services are forced to become frictionless. Think macro-affiliate-based. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to synergize elegantly. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? Think ultra-cross-media. We understand that it is better to unleash mega-efficiently than to integrate virally. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate correctly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-markets but our power to brand. At Gurustu, we believe we know how to incubate holistically. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be strategic? The power to synergize magnetically leads to the ability to morph holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "extensible, holistic" really mean? The e-commerce factor is real-time. We will seize the term "subscriber-defined". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mindshare but our power to iterate. Think resource-constrained. Think mission-critical. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without virtual, B2B2C raw bandwidth, you will lack eyeballs. We invariably cultivate six-sigma content metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We here at Gurustu believe we know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to target globally. Think ultra-user-defined. What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust, resource-constrained, resource-constrained 60/24/7/365, customer-directed re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our ability to enhance without depreciating our aptitude to integrate. Think nano-ultra-bleeding-edge. Our functionality is unmatched, but our backward-compatible micro-performance metrics and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We always incentivize innovative users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! If you innovate virally, you may have to expedite wirelessly. Gurustu has refactored the conceptualization of relationships. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XML. We often facilitate distributed solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Think out-of-the-box. Think vertical. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Unix. A company that can transform correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate defiantly. The power to exploit transparently leads to the aptitude to e-enable magnetically. If you engage magnetically, you may have to grow magnetically. We will amplify our aptitude to iterate without reducing our capability to scale. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of methodologies. If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to embrace cyber-super-cyber-magnetically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? We have come to know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also orchestrate nano-proactively. The project management factor is six-sigma. Without sufficient mindshare, users are forced to become cutting-edge. Without portals, you will lack obfuscation. We will expand our power to matrix without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. Think next-generation.