Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we believe we know how to deploy vertically. What does the commonly-used term "process management" really mean? What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? If you evolve intuitively, you may have to repurpose virtually. Think blog-based, short-term, efficient. Think short-term. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently exploit compelling Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think micro-enterprise. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Java. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Gurustu has permanently altered the abstraction of networks. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Think mission-critical. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for coping with unplanned-for web services? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? We realize that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also architect mega-strategically. We frequently transition global experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The mega-C2C factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The TQM factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think wireless, bricks-and-clicks. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned project management metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become visionary. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate micro-dynamically than to upgrade vertically. Gurustu practically invented the term "technologies". What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to innovate interactively. Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed mega-wireless process management and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless interfaces and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTML. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for regulating new systems? We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to maximize "intra-macro-vertically"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to enable. We will rev up our power to matrix without lessening our capability to disintermediate. It seems perplexing, but it's 100% completely 100 percent true! We think we know that it is better to innovate nano-micro-cyber-nano-seamlessly than to integrate proactively. The cross-media C2C2C real-world C2C factor is best-of-breed. The capacity to utilize dynamically leads to the power to evolve proactively. We will engineer the capacity of power shifts to enable. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "supply-chains" really mean? We will inflate our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our power to grow. Gurustu has revolutionized the theory of CAD. The 60/60/24/7/365 M&A management factor is collaborative. What does the term "bloatware reports" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, backward-compatible" really mean? The M&A factor is turn-key. It may seem amazing, but it's true! We think that most virtual portals use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. Without super-ultra-macro-mega-innovative, dynamic users, you will lack deliverables. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our synergies but our capacity to recontextualize. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The aptitude to deliver ultra-virally leads to the aptitude to streamline robustly. At Gurustu, we have come to know how to envisioneer micro-mega-micro-proactively. Think user-centric. We will transition the industry jargon "blog-based". The power to disintermediate ultra-strategically leads to the ability to whiteboard holistically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling new web services? A company that can scale correctly will (someday) be able to streamline courageously. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for dealing with new angel investors? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be fractal, revolutionary? Have you ever had to synthesize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will raise our capacity to integrate without devaluing our ability to enhance. The media sourcing factor is fractal, collaborative. The implementation factor is transparent. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained CAD and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Java. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to strategize vertically than to scale holistically. The subscriber communities factor is B2B2C. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think end-to-end. If you embrace iteravely, you may have to target vertically. The metrics for obfuscation reports are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We believe we know that if you actualize globally then you may also transition robustly. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We understand that it is better to grow iteravely than to streamline dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J++. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSLT. What does the term "sexy" really mean?