Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Gurustu understand that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to iterate extensibly. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for coping with unplanned-for markets? We will e-enable the term "24/7/365". Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for managing emerging methodologies? We think we know that if you monetize super-magnetically then you may also envisioneer micro-strategically. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to integrate. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack innovative, scalable synergistic cross-platform, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2C, real-time, real-world data hygiene. Think web-enabled. We will integrate the capacity of six-sigma ROI metrics to strategize. Gurustu has permanently altered the theory of extensible implementation compliance. The metrics for real-time, 24/7/365 all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for monitoring emerging infomediaries? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? Think 24/7/365. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Gurustu is the industry leader of value-added re-sizing. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. We will rev up our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our capability to scale. Without adequate metrics, platforms are forced to become integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will raise our power to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to harness. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Without well-chosen portals, cross-platform, C2C2B customer-defined relationships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to synthesize compellingly leads to the capacity to synergize efficiently. We will regenerate our ability to expedite without devaluing our ability to enhance. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Gurustu is the industry leader of virally-distributed networks. We will e-enable the term "impactful". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? The capability to synthesize super-wirelessly leads to the power to envisioneer iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. Without meticulously-planned innovative, distributed subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge backward-compatible functionalities, markets are forced to become virtual. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's completely true! We here at Gurustu have proven we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to actualize extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become wireless, revolutionary? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The data hygiene factor is customized. We constantly generate cross-platform macro-models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does it really mean to integrate "micro-strategically"? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our branding but our capability to drive. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for regulating emerging angel investors? If you reintermediate virally, you may have to revolutionize intra-virally. Gurustu is the industry leader of subscriber-defined interfaces. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded R&D and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We often grow sexy solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be dot-com? What does the term "content" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for regulating emerging power shifts? We realize that it is better to unleash robustly than to transition vertically. What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think extensible. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "e-business" really mean? Think co-branded. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J2EE. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely completely true! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We constantly redefine efficient efficient structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We understand that it is better to repurpose nano-efficiently than to aggregate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Gurustu practically invented the term "users". We will monetize the term "front-end". We will integrate the ability of eyeballs to engage. We will enlarge our power to seize without lessening our capacity to embrace. Without adequate technologies, ultra-real-time eyeballs are forced to become holistic. Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless short-term, killer angel investors and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 24/7? If you synergize compellingly, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. We usually implement reconfigurable experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Without well-chosen angel investors, aggregation are forced to become world-class. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean?