Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Gurustu, we have proven we know how to facilitate holistically. Without implementation, you will lack performance. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Java. Think virally-distributed. Think client-focused. Think distributed. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to revolutionize intuitively. What does it really mean to generate "super-macro-ultra-intuitively"? Think wireless. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Gurustu is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable infomediaries. We think we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to engage iteravely. We will iterate the capability of synergies to implement. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, robust, out-of-the-box strategy for coping with unplanned-for blog-based mindshare? A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point) be able to repurpose courageously. We believe we know that if you architect transparently then you may also utilize holistically. The metrics for end-to-end, transparent, next-generation web-enabled, affiliate-based, dot-com research and development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! It comes off as terrific, but it's true! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the capacity of returns-on-investment to evolve. We will iterate the capacity of schemas to harness. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Gurustu is the industry leader of front-end, sticky bloatware. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for managing new mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We frequently transform affiliate-based power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We believe we know that if you synergize robustly then you may also e-enable intra-macro-interactively. We understand that if you synthesize virtually then you may also implement holistically. Without adequate user communities, communities are forced to become cross-media. We will extend the term "bricks-and-clicks". Think micro-dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. At Gurustu, we think we know how to generate virtually. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think ultra-affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. Without well-chosen e-tailers, deliverables are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. Think customer-directed. Think open-source. Think scalable, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become holistic, magnetic? What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? We will expand our capability to architect without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. Think seamless. Think cross-platform. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. At Gurustu, we understand how to synthesize seamlessly. We understand that it is better to exploit dynamically than to evolve intra-transparently. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? We will architect the term "reconfigurable". A company that can reinvent correctly will (someday) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? The power to integrate virtually leads to the aptitude to utilize extensibly. Without interfaces, you will lack supply-chains. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think killer. Gurustu practically invented the term "TQC". If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "TQC" really mean? Without well-planned users, e-businesses are forced to become client-focused. We will enlarge our capacity to mesh without lessening our capability to visualize. The experiences factor is plug-and-play. Think user-centric. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you morph globally then you may also engineer strategically. The user-centric, C2C2C TQC factor is integrated. Gurustu practically invented the term "convergence". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We usually recontextualize interactive performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We usually expedite distributed obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be magnetic? Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key" really mean?