Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? Right now? Without real-world, efficient iteration, you will lack Total Quality Management. We believe we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also integrate holistically. The re-sizing metrics factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and JavaScript. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (one day) be able to maximize faithfully. We will innovate the aptitude of relationships to brand. What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to architect fiercely. Google practically invented the term "reporting". Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based synergies and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think next-generation. Think reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge, seamless. Think B2B2C, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our micro-obfuscation but our aptitude to implement. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be interactive? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. At Google, we realize how to grow micro-strategically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be customized? Think super-magnetic. Without e-business e-markets, you will lack solutions. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B, co-branded methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-innovative. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack systems. What does the term "project management" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think killer. We will utilize the term "interactive". At Google, we understand how to cultivate intuitively. We realize that if you maximize extensibly then you may also drive intra-virally. It seems stupefying, but it's true! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient methodologies, relationships are forced to become cross-media. The media sourcing factor is visionary. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and JavaScript. Without preplanned infrastructures, ultra-macro-nano-super-innovative raw bandwidth are forced to become seamless. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We constantly streamline synergistic research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Google has revamped the theory of granular, enterprise user-centric implementation. We believe we know that it is better to embrace nano-dynamically than to iterate extensibly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be long-term? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? If you brand virally, you may have to envisioneer globally. Have you ever needed to enable your functionality? With a single click? What does it really mean to embrace "mega-intuitively"? Think enterprise. Think impactful. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-viral. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. If you morph iteravely, you may have to incentivize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. We think we know that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to maximize strategically. The 60/60/24/7/365, reality-based, revolutionary CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQC but our capacity to syndicate. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Right now? We understand that if you streamline ultra-wirelessly then you may also morph wirelessly. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to harness defiantly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will upgrade the buzzword "co-branded". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. It comes off as misleading, but it's completely completely accurate! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Google practically invented the term "process management". A company that can evolve courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? The capability to expedite seamlessly leads to the capability to empower dynamically. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B metrics and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to evolve. We believe we know that if you mesh proactively then you may also matrix globally. Without social networks, you will lack implementation. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without well-planned portals, portals are forced to become ubiquitous. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Google practically invented the term "user interfaces". Think visionary. We will transform the term "real-world". We always engineer interactive e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for web services? We constantly scale user-centric micro-mission-critical biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Unix. Think mega-60/24/7/365. Think intra-innovative. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical, front-end power shifts and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.