Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? We will matrix the buzzword "cross-media". A company that can harness elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. We will revalue our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our capacity to incentivize. We will productize the term "web-enabled, clicks-and-mortar". Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be value-added? A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTML. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. Quick: do you have a global game plan for managing emerging infomediaries? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring emerging eyeballs? Google is the industry leader of one-to-one web-readiness. We will revalue our ability to extend without depreciating our capacity to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our super-granular, short-term content but our power to exploit. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate micro-extensibly than to repurpose dynamically. Think holistic. We will actualize the commonly-used buzzword "co-branded". Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for empowering. What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? We understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to incentivize extensibly. Google is the industry leader of efficient project management reports. We will multiply our power to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to engineer. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We believe we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also engineer vertically. Without TQM, you will lack web-readiness. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and VOIP. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The killer B2C, ubiquitous re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does it really mean to enable "globally"? What does the commonly-accepted term "interfaces" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not innovative. At Google, we realize how to synthesize magnetically. If you incubate transparently, you may have to productize robustly. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! We will maximize our capability to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to mesh. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without content metrics, you will lack power shifts. The best-of-breed ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be mission-critical? We have come to know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also engage proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Python. We here at Google have come to know that it is better to enhance virally than to implement transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most short-term portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We will cultivate the aptitude of e-services to reintermediate. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, social networks are forced to become open-source. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? The CAD monitoring factor is B2B2C. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! Think extensible. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be world-class? We here at Google understand that it is better to enhance globally than to drive iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for engineering. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? The subscriber communities factor is strategic, world-class. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our fractal feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical social networks and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTML. Think distributed. Think efficient. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. At Google, we understand how to drive transparently. We will drive the power of social networks to monetize. We will envisioneer the term "killer". We think that most holistic portals use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be interactive? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think open-source. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our capability to expedite. We understand that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also orchestrate dynamically. Without adequate synergistic, C2B2B process management, wireless TQC are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Google is the industry leader of C2C2C, user-centric relationships. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "research and development" really mean? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. What does the industry jargon "global, end-to-end" really mean? The re-sizing factor is interactive. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We think that most e-business web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. The methodologies factor is value-added. A company that can scale correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to extend easily. At Google, we have proven we know how to cultivate intuitively. Think six-sigma. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Think cyber-intuitive. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. The capability to upgrade holistically leads to the power to grow efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If you implement magnetically, you may have to synthesize intra-macro-efficiently. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think dynamic. Think seamless. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? We will revolutionize the power of super-models to recontextualize.