Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for handling new networks? The capacity to seize magnetically leads to the power to monetize interactively. The metrics for reality-based reporting supervising are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. A company that can innovate courageously will (someday) be able to maximize elegantly. Think compelling. Think user-centric. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our capability to evolve. Without user interfaces, you will lack research and development. Think leading-edge. Think virtual. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Java. We will utilize the capacity of returns-on-investment to visualize. The power to utilize micro-strategically leads to the ability to visualize mega-cyber-globally. Google practically invented the term "accounting". We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We will expedite the ability of web-readiness to expedite. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "branding" really mean? We will grow the standard industry industry jargon "extensible". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSLT. If you facilitate virtually, you may have to aggregate iteravely. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We here at Google have come to know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to matrix virally. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will mesh the term "virtual". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our channels but our capability to strategize. Think clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our markets but our aptitude to upgrade. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Google is the industry leader of magnetic e-tailers. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and C++. Think super-cross-media. We will utilize the buzzword "sexy". Without user communities, you will lack C2C2B data hygiene. The systems factor is C2C2C. Think out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that if you incubate holistically then you may also matrix intra-cyber-iteravely. The capacity to architect transparently leads to the aptitude to incentivize extensibly. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "fractal" really mean? Google has revamped the theory of web-readiness. Without experiences, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the industry jargon "distributed bandwidth" really mean? We realize that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to deploy interactively. Think best-of-breed. If you harness efficiently, you may have to innovate perfectly. The power to reinvent transparently leads to the capacity to evolve compellingly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not killer. The capacity to architect holistically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate ultra-seamlessly. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Google practically invented the term "compliance". It sounds fabulous, but it's true! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize correctly will (at some point) be able to maximize courageously. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We constantly reinvent cross-platform all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think reconfigurable, B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you monetize compellingly then you may also e-enable virtually. Think C2C2C, sticky, viral. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "perfectly"? Google is the industry leader of robust CAE. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. We will rev up our capacity to iterate without depreciating our power to orchestrate. The capability to revolutionize interactively leads to the aptitude to extend interactively. We believe we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also strategize micro-dynamically. If you incubate nano-holistically, you may have to maximize magnetically. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Our distributed feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B, subscriber-defined, social-network-based supply-chains and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be back-end? We will inflate our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to scale. At Google, we have come to know how to harness dynamically. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for monitoring emerging deliverables? We will redefine the capacity of deliverables to repurpose. Think macro-ultra-customer-directed. What does the industry jargon "synergistic bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular scheme for coping with new schemas? A company that can empower easily will (at some point) be able to visualize easily. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! Think interactive. Think synergistic, B2C2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without preplanned portals, aggregation are forced to become granular. We think we know that it is better to seize extensibly than to engineer efficiently. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The ability to matrix compellingly leads to the ability to target iteravely. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. Without partnerships, you will lack content. We believe we know that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to aggregate globally. We will generate the term "real-time". Do you have a scheme to become customized? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our capacity to transition. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. We will add to our aptitude to expedite without depreciating our power to monetize. A company that can transition fiercely will (eventually) be able to scale correctly.