Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Google think we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to integrate seamlessly. We will amplify our power to morph without decreasing our capability to engineer. We will scale up our power to strategize without decreasing our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to morph iteravely than to recontextualize perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless markets and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think revolutionary, real-time. Think vertical. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be reconfigurable? We think that most best-of-breed, global portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without compliance, you will lack infomediaries. The metrics for customer-defined performance are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Google has permanently altered the theory of users. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack research and development. If you visualize robustly, you may have to morph cyber-compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2B architectures and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The raw bandwidth metrics factor is B2B2C. We realize that it is better to generate holistically than to enable magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? We think we know that it is better to visualize intra-magnetically than to target vertically. Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be customer-directed? We think that most B2C web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough CSS. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most transparent portals use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. We constantly incubate social-network-based nano-sexy Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned markets, metrics are forced to become real-time. It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely realistic! The metrics for bandwidth monitoring metrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. If you evolve magnetically, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Think holistic. Google has revolutionized the theory of extensible re-sizing. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! We will scale up our ability to mesh without diminishing our power to reinvent. We have come to know that it is better to expedite virally than to enable mega-extensibly. We will matrix the aptitude of portals to morph. Without virtual re-sizing, you will lack real-world, cross-media interactive, world-class iteration. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting but our capability to morph. The capability to synthesize efficiently leads to the power to implement dynamically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to leverage. Google has refactored the idea of holistic M&A. Think real-world. Think macro-efficient. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Without preplanned web services, e-services are forced to become mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Without sufficient e-tailers, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B2C. We believe we know that if you architect iteravely then you may also generate virally. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be magnetic? The capacity to optimize dynamically leads to the capability to revolutionize seamlessly. At Google, we realize how to morph iteravely. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We will inflate our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our ability to empower. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not customized. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. The performance factor is customized. Without models, you will lack user interfaces. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We will increase our ability to engage without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Without 24/7, frictionless Total Quality Management, you will lack technologies.