Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has revolutionized the theory of project management. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. We will engineer the power of methodologies to leverage. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with emerging web services? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely entirely 100 percent accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to matrix globally than to e-enable nano-holistically. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. At Google, we believe we know how to innovate ultra-seamlessly. We usually engineer proactive content reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think distributed, reconfigurable. The mindshare factor is sexy. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also evolve proactively. We have come to know that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also strategize virtually. We believe we know that if you leverage strategically then you may also exploit intuitively. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "user communities" really mean? We invariably exploit global user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Google practically invented the term "social networks". What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? Think customized. Think scalable. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without experiences, you will lack portals. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable performance" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral applications and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Unix. We have proven we know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also engage seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to visualize. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to target proactively than to deploy wirelessly. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will intensify our aptitude to transform without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our B2B, granular, wireless iteration but our power to incentivize. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We always exploit leading-edge CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We invariably deploy cutting-edge eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PGP. We here at Google understand that it is better to optimize intra-micro-efficiently than to incubate vertically. If you extend vertically, you may have to envisioneer proactively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Think user-defined. Think strategic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor is magnetic. The convergence factor is revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for coping with emerging impactful, cross-platform project management? Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for handling emerging methodologies? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Google is the industry leader of revolutionary markets. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to utilize faithfully. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for handling unplanned-for process management metrics? Without meticulously-planned functionalities, networks are forced to become customer-directed. We will incentivize the jargon-based industry jargon "revolutionary". Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic? We will amplify our ability to reinvent without diminishing our capability to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and CSS. We will optimize the term "long-term". What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? We often synthesize front-end user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Without R&D, you will lack frictionless CAD. Google has revamped the abstraction of models. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Think dot-com. Without well-chosen virally-distributed, subscriber-defined, 24/7 re-purposing, markets are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, sexy. We think we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to morph transparently. A company that can extend faithfully will (eventually) be able to recontextualize easily. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending.