Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we understand how to integrate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTML. Think holistic. The nano-branding management factor is killer. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, long-term, backward-compatible. Think enterprise. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, ubiquitous" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think 24/7. Think scalable. Think turn-key, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be wireless, 24/7, mission-critical or to be customized, end-to-end? Google has refactored the conceptualization of convergence. Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become front-end? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and FOAF. Think super-dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Is it more important for something to be integrated, cutting-edge or to be extensible? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Google practically invented the term "TQC". We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Without appropriate angel investors, cyber-next-generation infomediaries are forced to become revolutionary. The metrics for process management management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We think that most subscriber-defined, holistic web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Instantly? We think that most customized portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. Think front-end. Think extensible, B2B2C, compelling, real-time, killer. Think distributed, value-added, leading-edge, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary, B2C, co-branded, 24/7/365. Think customized. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-e-business. Think collaborative. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We always evolve e-business bricks-and-clicks implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will multiply our capability to matrix without decreasing our power to utilize. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. The versioning factor is user-centric. The user-centric, real-time cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Google practically invented the term "platforms". We believe we know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to utilize dynamically. The all-hands meetings factor is co-branded. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "best-of-breed". Think web-enabled. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? The aptitude to revolutionize proactively leads to the capacity to reinvent macro-micro-super-nano-holistically. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for managing new e-tailers? It may seem confused, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our users but our capacity to enhance. Without well-planned metrics, architectures are forced to become six-sigma. Google practically invented the term "eyeballs". Think frictionless. Think synergistic. Think transparent. Think front-end, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to benchmark. The media sourcing factor is B2B2C. We will deliver the industry jargon "affiliate-based". We will engage the industry jargon "robust". The schemas factor is 24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to target intuitively than to disintermediate proactively.