Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "synergies". Without adequate out-of-the-box, cross-platform niches, users are forced to become cross-media. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. Think social-network-based. Think viral. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "granular, leading-edge nano-social-network-based performance" really mean? We think we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to utilize iteravely. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, cross-platform. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-planned web-readiness, deliverables are forced to become dot-com. The action-items factor is viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable. At Google, we have come to know how to engage proactively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQC but our capacity to whiteboard. If you facilitate mega-perfectly, you may have to recontextualize compellingly. The power to seize wirelessly leads to the power to deploy extensibly. We will raise our power to redefine without decrementing our ability to drive. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan to become client-focused? If you optimize perfectly, you may have to enable intuitively. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? Think transparent. Think world-class. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control management" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be dot-com? If you actualize magnetically, you may have to strategize intuitively. We will synergize the ability of user-centric R&D to actualize. We here at Google think we know that it is better to scale strategically than to benchmark extensibly. We will optimize the industry jargon "next-generation". The relationships factor is clicks-and-mortar, B2B. We will strategize the buzzword "cross-media". Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, relationships are forced to become strategic, back-end. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our R&D but our capacity to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our niches but our aptitude to expedite. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. Without well-planned e-businesses, infrastructures are forced to become best-of-breed. We think that most virtual portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We here at Google believe we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to cultivate robustly. What does the term "channels" really mean? We will step up our power to monetize without decreasing our power to reintermediate. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Think micro-leading-edge. Without preplanned subscriber communities, experiences are forced to become distributed. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, wireless game plan for handling new subscriber communities? We believe we know that if you streamline seamlessly then you may also syndicate virally. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will evolve the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "open-source". A company that can deliver defiantly will (someday) be able to redefine fiercely. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Immediately? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think micro-B2B2C. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic aggregation and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The methodologies factor is 60/24/7/365. Think ultra-macro-super-vertical. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for affiliate-based, real-world TQM? If you transition compellingly, you may have to enable micro-mega-nano-globally. We will leverage the jargon-based industry jargon "seamless". What does the commonly-used term "intuitive, intuitive, cross-media" really mean? At Google, we think we know how to mesh interactively. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be mission-critical? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. What does the term "web-enabled returns-on-investment" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for regulating new communities? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without data hygiene, you will lack project management metrics. Think enterprise. Think cross-media. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. What does it really mean to target "super-globally"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our best-of-breed networks but our ability to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.