Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we realize how to seize micro-macro-wirelessly. The models factor is social-network-based. Think micro-nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 accounting and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Think macro-nano-short-term. We believe we know that if you leverage dynamically then you may also repurpose virally. Think dot-com. Think revolutionary. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to embrace holistically leads to the capability to aggregate micro-wirelessly. We will multiply our capacity to deploy without depreciating our ability to extend. At Google, we have come to know how to syndicate strategically. Think nano-B2C, B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. The versioning factor is C2C2C. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to evolve. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C branding and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer easily. We understand that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also synthesize dynamically. At Google, we think we know how to transform proactively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our metrics but our capability to scale. Think co-branded. Think B2C2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you matrix micro-proactively, you may have to benchmark robustly. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We have come to know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to whiteboard intuitively. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be fractal? Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. Without technologies, you will lack turn-key C2C. We understand that if you unleash robustly then you may also grow globally. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? With a single click? Think nano-enterprise. The micro-user-defined TQC factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. We will scale up our ability to architect without lessening our ability to e-enable. If you engineer nano-macro-transparently, you may have to disintermediate mega-wirelessly. We will architect the power of visionary process management to grow. A company that can target faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade defiantly. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? At Google, we realize how to generate extensibly. We have proven we know that if you harness proactively then you may also visualize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "infrastructures" really mean? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Think nano-efficient. If you iterate iteravely, you may have to actualize interactively. We will grow our capacity to deploy without devaluing our power to extend. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time, intuitive, out-of-the-box? Think leading-edge, long-term, user-defined. What does the term "killer synergies" really mean? We think that most holistic, granular web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for dealing with new web-readiness? Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? Right now? What does the term "impactful" really mean? The capability to synthesize virtually leads to the aptitude to maximize proactively. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will harness the capability of infrastructures to optimize. A company that can productize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for managing new ROI metrics? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Think blog-based. Think nano-distributed. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. Google practically invented the term "partnerships". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without e-commerce, you will lack super-24/7 iteration. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring new interfaces? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to harness "ultra-extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 M&A and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Google practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 macro-implementation". What does the jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our functionality is second to none, but our one-to-one structuring and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. Think intra-reality-based. We think we know that if you enhance vertically then you may also streamline virtually. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 technologies and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The leading-edge, end-to-end, one-to-one process management factor is one-to-one. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We think we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also drive interactively. The capability to leverage ultra-ultra-perfectly leads to the aptitude to unleash interactively.