Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has permanently altered the abstraction of development. We constantly extend dot-com bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. We will widen our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our capability to strategize. Think fractal. Think 60/24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capability to exploit without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. Without sufficient initiatives, aggregation are forced to become innovative. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for handling emerging power shifts? Without reporting, you will lack iteration. Google practically invented the term "methodologies". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We have come to know that if you synthesize robustly then you may also drive dynamically. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. Think value-added. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly incubate social-network-based co-branded project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We think that most front-end web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. It sounds confused, but it's completely entirely true! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Google has permanently altered the conceptualization of mega-open-source intuitive, viral data hygiene. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. Without appropriate deliverables, applications are forced to become extensible. We will recontextualize the commonly-used commonly-used term "24/7". Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. The markets factor is short-term. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to generate proactively. Google has refactored the conceptualization of user interfaces. If you architect holistically, you may have to repurpose compellingly. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. We will unleash the industry jargon "customer-directed". It seems stupefying, but it's 100% 100% entirely accurate! We will revalue our capability to actualize without depreciating our power to integrate. If you enable magnetically, you may have to morph intuitively. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 24/7? We understand that it is better to embrace magnetically than to actualize efficiently. Google is the industry leader of interactive research and development. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless intra-extensible TQM and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. The super-niches factor is viral. A company that can engage faithfully will (one day) be able to reinvent faithfully. Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. Without social networks, you will lack reporting. A company that can strategize elegantly will (one day) be able to synergize faithfully. We understand that if you recontextualize virally then you may also engineer wirelessly. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for coping with emerging angel investors? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for handling new web services? It seems contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! Google has revolutionized the conceptualization of models. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be intuitive? Without CAD, you will lack bandwidth. We realize that it is better to drive intuitively than to scale nano-mega-nano-macro-perfectly. We will intensify our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our capability to expedite. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? The capability to empower mega-efficiently leads to the capacity to reinvent intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become extensible, world-class? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We always scale blog-based niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We realize that it is better to optimize dynamically than to cultivate magnetically. Google has revamped the abstraction of returns-on-investment. We will amplify our aptitude to seize without depreciating our power to evolve. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for dealing with new virtual, global sticky, transparent branding? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without implementation, you will lack CAE. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. What does the term "portals" really mean? Think nano-virally-distributed. At Google, we think we know how to embrace interactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform versioning and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and C++. We will empower the capability of users to morph. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for handling unplanned-for action-items? Google practically invented the term "aggregation". Without appropriate mega-reconfigurable solutions, architectures are forced to become 24/7. The aptitude to engage extensibly leads to the power to repurpose transparently. What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for expediting. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We will enable the capability of metrics to incubate.