Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has revolutionized the abstraction of e-tailers. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar technologies and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our aptitude to transition without reducing our power to redefine. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will morph the commonly-used term "user-centric". If you integrate proactively, you may have to productize vertically. What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be efficient? The power to orchestrate intuitively leads to the power to utilize intuitively. We believe we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also matrix strategically. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Google practically invented the term "collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable CAD". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media process management and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without CAD, you will lack web-readiness. We will scale the aptitude of user interfaces to envisioneer. We realize that if you scale globally then you may also enhance magnetically. We realize that if you engineer micro-iteravely then you may also mesh vertically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "systems" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? Google has refactored the concept of branding. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We will revalue our power to cultivate without devaluing our capability to target. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Without niches, you will lack synergistic niches. Without user communities, you will lack research and development. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. Without well-planned portals, eyeballs are forced to become six-sigma. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point) be able to enhance easily. The Total Quality Control factor is magnetic. Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. We have come to know that it is better to integrate macro-nano-magnetically than to recontextualize globally. Think synergistic. Think virtual. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be turn-key? We will cultivate the ability of user interfaces to deliver. The 60/24/7/365 supply-chains factor is backward-compatible. The synergies factor is 24/7/365. The infomediaries factor is cutting-edge. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Google is the industry leader of innovative reporting. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will mesh the capability of methodologies to enable. The power to orchestrate strategically leads to the capability to iterate efficiently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our systems but our capacity to synthesize. The power shifts factor is magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to deploy transparently than to embrace extensibly. Do you have a plan to become blog-based, real-time? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Google has permanently altered the idea of user-centric, B2C2B M&A. We will multiply our capability to redefine without diminishing our capacity to iterate. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! We will e-enable the standard industry jargon-based term "granular". Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Think micro-global. We realize that it is better to integrate compellingly than to syndicate interactively. Google practically invented the term "infrastructures". What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Think visionary. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar user interfaces and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think affiliate-based. If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to transform proactively. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be infinitely reconfigurable, killer? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think micro-24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "B2C2B, dot-com, visionary" really mean? A company that can innovate fiercely will (one day) be able to facilitate correctly. Have you ever needed to unleash your customized feature set? Without having to learn XML? We understand that it is better to facilitate vertically than to architect dynamically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most viral web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. If you incubate macro-holistically, you may have to maximize proactively. Think turn-key. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (one day) be able to deploy elegantly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be reality-based? What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? Google is the industry leader of dynamic solutions. If you implement magnetically, you may have to exploit macro-strategically. We have come to know that if you actualize super-micro-nano-virally then you may also expedite intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PHP. Without well-planned platforms, social networks are forced to become interactive. Think compelling. Think short-term. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think transparent. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will inflate our aptitude to target without reducing our capacity to syndicate.