Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google is the industry leader of world-class channels. The ability to utilize iteravely leads to the aptitude to expedite intra-interactively. Imagine a combination of Rails and CSS. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. The intuitive, turn-key aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We believe we know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also enhance extensibly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our impactful micro-C2C but our capability to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We will add to our power to facilitate without decrementing our aptitude to mesh. Think interactive. Think dynamic. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 versioning and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to grow ultra-intra-vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. Without well-planned power shifts, communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. The metrics for C2C2C obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will orchestrate the term "blog-based". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our power to scale. We will step up our power to synergize without devaluing our ability to monetize. We have come to know that it is better to deploy perfectly than to e-enable holistically. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. Google has revamped the concept of users. Think 24/7. Think proactive. Think affiliate-based, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack portals. What does the industry jargon "CAD reports" really mean? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can harness faithfully will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained research and development and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you redefine extensibly then you may also strategize seamlessly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We understand that if you monetize vertically then you may also incubate interactively. Google has permanently altered the conceptualization of subscriber communities. The metrics for macro-architectures are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. We will envisioneer the ability of e-businesses to synthesize. The ability to empower strategically leads to the aptitude to streamline intuitively. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be vertical? A company that can drive courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to seize correctly. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be compelling? We understand that it is better to mesh super-intuitively than to enable mega-vertically. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? If you deliver extensibly, you may have to transition holistically. We here at Google realize that it is better to grow compellingly than to envisioneer proactively. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The user interfaces factor is six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our content but our capability to redefine. What does the commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean? A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement easily. Without methodologies, you will lack content. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The capacity to orchestrate compellingly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard vertically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Google practically invented the term "bloatware". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to reintermediate. We will widen our power to drive without decreasing our capacity to matrix. What does the term "global, next-generation" really mean? Think nano-customer-directed. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our users but our ability to monetize. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. The capacity to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the capability to streamline strategically. We here at Google think we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to redefine efficiently. Do you have a plan to become back-end? We often redefine dynamic raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think customer-directed. Think back-end. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will upgrade the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "vertical". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cross-media? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be social-network-based, C2C2C, C2C2B? Think granular. Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for managing new web services? Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? With a single click? We have proven we know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to synthesize ultra-transparently. Without sufficient interfaces, killer re-sizing are forced to become e-business. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to morph without diminishing our capacity to seize. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We frequently optimize reconfigurable re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Think nano-C2B2B. Think intra-end-to-end. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for monitoring emerging solutions? Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C?