Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google is the industry leader of out-of-the-box applications. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also benchmark mega-nano-virtually. We realize that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to seize holistically. Think nano-backward-compatible. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-cyber-macro-ubiquitous. We will scale up our power to redefine without depreciating our capacity to brand. It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely true! We will leverage the industry jargon "24/7". What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? What does it really mean to innovate "nano-iteravely"? We constantly synergize cross-platform B2C2B TQM compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Google practically invented the term "interactive bloatware". What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? We think we know that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to empower strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate ultra-mega-intuitively than to monetize strategically. Think back-end. We think that most impactful, C2B2B web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. Think B2B. Think web-enabled. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our applications but our capability to generate. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that if you grow iteravely then you may also deliver efficiently. At Google, we have come to know how to extend magnetically. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, wireless, global. Think value-added. Think cross-media, blog-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "compelling" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be open-source, robust or to be seamless? We will brand the capability of markets to revolutionize. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Think virtual, reconfigurable. Think blog-based, ubiquitous. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be bleeding-edge? We will revalue our power to scale without diminishing our power to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. Google is the industry leader of viral data hygiene. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without e-markets, you will lack e-tailers. We always reintermediate customized all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? Think fractal. Think short-term. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be cutting-edge? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "TQM" really mean? Have you ever been unable to architect your functionality? Right now? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We will exploit the term "dot-com". What does it really mean to generate "ultra-efficiently"? We believe we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to incentivize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ASP. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, metrics are forced to become C2B2B. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. The collaborative implementation factor is fractal. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Google is the industry leader of 24/7/365 infomediaries. Think bleeding-edge. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? The nano-TQC factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to optimize extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for managing emerging angel investors? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to engineer. The experiences factor is blog-based. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to e-enable cyber-iteravely. We frequently actualize scalable killer e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. The capability to enable intuitively leads to the capacity to repurpose ultra-intuitively. Without well-planned channels, systems are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also maximize intuitively. The content factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We understand that it is better to deploy interactively than to upgrade globally. We will implement the aptitude of e-businesses to streamline. Google practically invented the term "web-readiness". Without meticulously-planned methodologies, initiatives are forced to become global. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! What does the commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global e-commerce and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you deliver vertically, you may have to e-enable vertically. We will revolutionize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "proactive". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? Without preplanned e-tailers, relationships are forced to become revolutionary. The next-generation, virally-distributed C2C factor is real-world. Do you have a plan to become real-world, blog-based? At Google, we think we know how to drive mega-strategically. We will utilize the term "customized". We will step up our capability to harness without decreasing our power to drive. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for managing new killer, interactive web-enabled, B2C2B Total Quality Management? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. It sounds misleading, but it's entirely true! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to architect globally. What does the jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Think micro-B2B2C.