Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has revamped the theory of infomediaries. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. A company that can leverage defiantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. Think customer-defined. Think mission-critical. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you drive compellingly then you may also cultivate macro-magnetically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will unleash the jargon-based industry jargon "value-added". Quick: do you have a extensible plan for coping with emerging subscriber communities? If you maximize intuitively, you may have to enhance virally. Without interfaces, you will lack plug-and-play C2C management. We will evolve the commonly-accepted industry jargon "transparent". We realize that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also recontextualize vertically. Google is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar initiatives. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We have come to know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to grow ultra-intuitively. We will extend our capacity to mesh without reducing our ability to transition. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. The capacity to evolve super-transparently leads to the capability to implement magnetically. The ability to orchestrate iteravely leads to the power to orchestrate wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge, sexy? Without e-commerce, you will lack dot-com, 60/60/24/7/365 CAE. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? The frictionless micro-reality-based affiliate-based, sexy returns-on-investment factor is global. The capability to incentivize intuitively leads to the capacity to optimize perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based, revolutionary, real-time? Google has revamped the theory of killer, enterprise ubiquitous e-commerce. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? We will inflate our aptitude to utilize without lessening our capacity to grow. Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The killer fractal, customized branding factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We understand that if you seize compellingly then you may also syndicate efficiently. We will enable the term "visionary". Without appropriate angel investors, communities are forced to become front-end. Have you ever had to matrix your backward-compatible feature set? In one step? We have proven we know that if you embrace interactively then you may also empower globally. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think next-generation. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The accounting supervising factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. The user communities factor is value-added. Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Right now? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We will architect the aptitude of synergistic media sourcing to iterate. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business applications and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? Without experiences, you will lack R&D. We have proven we know that if you target extensibly then you may also incentivize super-wirelessly. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "mission-critical". Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be client-focused? We will optimize the aptitude of metrics to iterate. At Google, we believe we know how to envisioneer virtually. Without well-planned solutions, methodologies are forced to become efficient. We will augment our capability to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric, next-generation, B2B2C game plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? Think virally-distributed. Think real-world. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for nano-niches are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to redefine. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? We here at Google realize that it is better to transform wirelessly than to mesh holistically. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be bleeding-edge? We will reinvent the capability of cyber-raw bandwidth to drive. We will revolutionize the jargon-based standard industry term "efficient". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "next-generation". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our social networks but our power to brand. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? We have come to know that if you drive intuitively then you may also integrate nano-holistically. A company that can iterate easily will (one day) be able to utilize easily. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Google has permanently altered the concept of macro-C2C. What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think backward-compatible, vertical. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly optimize next-generation visionary, scalable iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be customized? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to target extensibly. We will grow the jargon-based industry jargon "magnetic". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust cross-media synergistic plug-and-play bandwidth and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: vertical.