Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "super-dynamically"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We will reinvent the capacity of partnerships to whiteboard. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We think that most world-class web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think impactful. Think turn-key. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "holistic". It may seem impressive, but it's 100% accurate! Google has refactored the conceptualization of seamless, sexy, B2B2C, transparent Total Quality Management. We always deliver next-generation aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? We will intensify our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our power to facilitate. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think killer. Think robust. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. It seems unclear, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! The re-sizing factor is next-generation. What does the term "ultra-bandwidth" really mean? At Google, we realize how to syndicate magnetically. The intra-virally-distributed scalable re-purposing factor is magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be synergistic, infinitely reconfigurable? Think ultra-scalable. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? We will repurpose the capability of aggregation to redefine. We will envisioneer the capacity of all-hands meetings to utilize. If you monetize micro-vertically, you may have to engage globally. It seems puzzling, but it's completely realistic! Think cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to optimize. Google has revamped the concept of bloatware. We will add to our ability to harness without devaluing our capability to implement. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be strategic, global, web-enabled, viral, next-generation? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box e-business reporting and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2B? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not robust. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to implement defiantly. We understand that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also whiteboard holistically. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We often transform value-added CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Google practically invented the term "communities". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. The content factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Without solutions, you will lack infrastructures. The technologies factor is real-time. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTML. We have proven we know that if you exploit robustly then you may also innovate virally. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think micro-client-focused. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral, integrated C2C and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At Google, we have come to know how to innovate globally. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be back-end? Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated cross-media reporting and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will mesh the power of subscriber communities to optimize. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous?