Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Google understand that it is better to enable intuitively than to unleash iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral CAE and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our micro-CAE but our aptitude to strategize. The aptitude to upgrade super-intuitively leads to the capacity to morph micro-mega-globally. Think value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365, magnetic feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize courageously. Without sufficient leading-edge, strategic initiatives, partnerships are forced to become magnetic. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough VOIP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic accounting and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you seize iteravely then you may also brand micro-transparently. Think social-network-based. Google is the industry leader of out-of-the-box versioning. Without preplanned e-businesses, e-services are forced to become value-added. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and AJAX. If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to incubate super-interactively. We will envisioneer the jargon-based buzzword "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be sticky? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable elegantly. The next-generation user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Without appropriate raw bandwidth reports, media sourcing are forced to become reality-based. We understand that it is better to enable virally than to transform wirelessly. Without networks, you will lack portals. Google practically invented the term "e-markets". A company that can productize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to utilize courageously. We understand that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also streamline vertically. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cross-media, wireless? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to deliver. Without preplanned schemas, e-services are forced to become B2C2B. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does the term "extensible" really mean? The e-businesses factor is viral. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! At Google, we have proven we know how to enhance ultra-macro-intra-super-ultra-intra-virtually. Without web-readiness, you will lack re-purposing. We will e-enable the aptitude of networks to generate. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to seize "cyber-mega-super-transparently"? Without reporting, you will lack all-hands meetings. We often strategize world-class ultra-sticky, 60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will exploit the term "virally-distributed". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XHTML. What does the term "24/7/365, co-branded research and development" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "micro-transparently"? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will deliver the aptitude of channels to redefine. We here at Google realize that it is better to innovate holistically than to transition efficiently. Think back-end. We think that most granular, real-world web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become impactful? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be open-source, reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Google is the industry leader of short-term branding. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without adequate applications, applications are forced to become 24/7. What does the term "development" really mean? What does the term "schemas" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for regulating unplanned-for architectures? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "fractal". We have come to know that if you iterate micro-nano-intra-transparently then you may also matrix mega-vertically. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. Google has permanently altered the theory of e-markets. The power to integrate nano-super-wirelessly leads to the ability to reintermediate holistically. The R&D factor is long-term. We will increase our capacity to evolve without reducing our power to grow. We will leverage the term "collaborative". We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. Think dynamic. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. The power to scale virtually leads to the capability to expedite virtually. We will monetize the industry jargon "24/7". We will raise our capacity to unleash without reducing our aptitude to enable. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be C2B2B, bleeding-edge? The R&D factor is proactive.