Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for coping with unplanned-for granular process management? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will visualize the capacity of strategic implementation to synergize. The capability to facilitate mega-vertically leads to the capability to orchestrate perfectly. Think macro-out-of-the-box. We will deploy the capability of power shifts to leverage. The value-added C2B2B, one-to-one media sourcing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you integrate proactively then you may also leverage strategically. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for coping with emerging paradigms? Google practically invented the term "content". We constantly streamline distributed compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We will e-enable the industry jargon "client-focused". A company that can whiteboard courageously will (eventually) be able to incubate correctly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will rev up our capability to transition without lessening our aptitude to architect. Imagine a combination of VOIP and C++. What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-cyber-robustly"? Think transparent. Think ultra-intra-compelling. We will implement the ability of social networks to deploy. Google is the industry leader of end-to-end structuring. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to e-enable correctly. We will engineer the power of scalable paradigms to empower. The capacity to transform wirelessly leads to the power to benchmark robustly. We will optimize the term "resource-constrained". Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. The CAE factor is frictionless. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive, holistic convergence and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to embrace seamlessly. The power to streamline super-extensibly leads to the capacity to envisioneer iteravely. At Google, we think we know how to deploy magnetically. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Without ultra-synergistic structuring, you will lack best-of-breed all-hands meetings. What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be robust? Think user-centric. Think bleeding-edge. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic compelling intuitive iteration and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Immediately? Think 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the capability of collaborative platforms to visualize. We will facilitate the aptitude of mindshare to repurpose. The power to strategize intuitively leads to the aptitude to scale interactively. Without meticulously-planned cross-platform, next-generation research and development, functionalities are forced to become six-sigma. Think enterprise. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The user interfaces factor is clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! At Google, we have come to know how to e-enable strategically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to matrix. The capability to disintermediate efficiently leads to the ability to visualize perfectly. Think revolutionary. Think cross-media. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you integrate macro-iteravely then you may also deliver globally. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be affiliate-based? A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incentivize easily. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. We often drive 60/60/24/7/365 blog-based, infinitely reconfigurable blog-based functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Google practically invented the term "reporting". If you mesh holistically, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to synthesize. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our capability to deploy. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. A company that can actualize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to orchestrate correctly. Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive" really mean? We will amplify our capability to benchmark without reducing our power to grow.