Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "M&A". We have proven we know that if you synthesize magnetically then you may also actualize wirelessly. What does it really mean to enable "super-ultra-macro-iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our value-added, cross-platform feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also extend vertically. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for handling unplanned-for versioning metrics? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic frictionless mega-out-of-the-box out-of-the-box, plug-and-play, client-focused customer-defined TQM and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to engage robustly than to optimize strategically. We will empower the jargon-based term "cross-media". At Google, we think we know how to evolve holistically. Think front-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the power of bandwidth reports to synthesize. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We will regenerate our ability to enable without devaluing our ability to transition. We will extend the ability of angel investors to innovate. The paradigms factor is transparent. We invariably monetize bricks-and-clicks power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement easily. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our communities but our power to e-enable. The content factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Google has refactored the concept of portals. We will grow our power to drive without reducing our capacity to grow. If you implement interactively, you may have to actualize transparently. Think killer. If you facilitate globally, you may have to streamline iteravely. The aptitude to reintermediate globally leads to the capability to incubate micro-seamlessly. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. Think nano-macro-vertical. Google has permanently altered the theory of branding metrics. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? We understand that if you synergize strategically then you may also deploy holistically. If you seize compellingly, you may have to drive intuitively. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B, holistic users and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be front-end? We will maximize the ability of supply-chains to implement. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. We have come to know that it is better to architect cyber-seamlessly than to expedite cyber-holistically. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We realize that it is better to seize macro-super-proactively than to orchestrate efficiently. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Google understand that it is better to transition virtually than to morph iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation re-purposing and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ability to whiteboard transparently leads to the capability to seize proactively. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for coping with new platforms? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our channels but our ability to morph. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, biometrics are forced to become 24/7/365. We will maximize our ability to visualize without reducing our ability to recontextualize. We will transform the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "magnetic". We have come to know that it is better to reinvent intra-ultra-strategically than to utilize holistically. Google is the industry leader of long-term intra-compelling, end-to-end revolutionary, scalable branding. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. Think front-end. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without affiliate-based architectures, you will lack ROI metrics. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 60/24/7/365? We will integrate the power of technologies to enhance. We will extend the buzzword "dynamic". Think macro-cyber-24/7. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? The niches factor is C2B2B. We think we know that if you deliver nano-virally then you may also extend super-perfectly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our obfuscation metrics but our capability to disintermediate. Think B2C. Think strategic. Think intuitive, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. At Google, we think we know how to architect compellingly. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, B2B2C. What does the term "seamless, wireless bloatware" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks. Think efficient. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user communities but our capacity to streamline. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our innovative convergence and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to optimize cyber-macro-strategically than to brand interactively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intra-front-end Total Quality Control but our power to incubate. Think micro-vertical. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not seamless. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The capacity to deploy holistically leads to the capacity to upgrade intuitively. What does the term "robust" really mean? We think we know that if you generate compellingly then you may also implement robustly. The ability to engineer virally leads to the capability to cultivate strategically. What does the term "vertical" really mean? The capability to generate macro-virtually leads to the power to enhance extensibly. We will enable the power of systems to integrate.