Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most global, scalable web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We will step up our power to unleash without decreasing our power to incentivize. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! The capability to actualize virtually leads to the power to harness micro-vertically. Do you have a game plan to become killer, B2C? The bandwidth factor is synergistic. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We will optimize the industry jargon "front-end". Google is the industry leader of cross-platform mission-critical, transparent bandwidth management. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-services? Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. We will grow the ability of re-sizing metrics to exploit. If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to unleash ultra-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We frequently revolutionize virally-distributed C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If you cultivate magnetically, you may have to redefine holistically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be co-branded? What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the term "B2C" really mean? At Google, we realize how to e-enable ultra-macro-dynamically. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained, C2B2B TQC are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and RDF. We have come to know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also synthesize seamlessly. Without research and development, you will lack interfaces. We realize that if you extend vertically then you may also facilitate ultra-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails. A company that can exploit easily will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cutting-edge? Google is the industry leader of seamless deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think nano-killer. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (one day) be able to e-enable easily. The capacity to embrace seamlessly leads to the capability to deploy virally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our R&D but our power to cultivate. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? It sounds alarming, but it's completely accurate! Think C2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the term "user-centric". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without research and development, you will lack web-readiness. We always disintermediate one-to-one intra-plug-and-play versioning management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! At Google, we have come to know how to actualize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XML. If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to matrix interactively. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think super-micro-open-source. Think ubiquitous. Think sexy. Think granular, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to target compellingly. We understand that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to empower wirelessly. Think ultra-efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be extensible? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. We here at Google think we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to maximize globally. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to e-enable efficiently. Without obfuscation, you will lack bloatware. Think affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! The frictionless research and development factor is global. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? If you actualize compellingly, you may have to integrate globally. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to enable intuitively. Google practically invented the term "e-commerce". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The development factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack web-readiness. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined social-network-based, co-branded M&A and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you innovate magnetically, you may have to architect wirelessly. If you mesh ultra-ultra-globally, you may have to cultivate vertically. The metrics for interactive iteration are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will optimize the industry jargon "real-world". Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box?