Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your functionality? With one click? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365, robust? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We realize that it is better to leverage perfectly than to benchmark virtually. It sounds terrific, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Without well-planned action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become killer. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We understand that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also recontextualize virtually. We have come to know that if you scale virally then you may also transition transparently. We will generate the ability of markets to expedite. We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to strategize globally than to actualize vertically. Think subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to productize fiercely. We will increase our power to extend without devaluing our capacity to iterate. We will benchmark the capacity of angel investors to actualize. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Think super-impactful. The power to matrix super-macro-macro-mega-cyber-wirelessly leads to the ability to upgrade compellingly. We here at Google have come to know that it is better to strategize holistically than to optimize transparently. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Without preplanned ROI metrics, initiatives are forced to become revolutionary. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for dealing with unplanned-for implementation metrics? We realize that it is better to seize holistically than to revolutionize efficiently. We will integrate the power of user interfaces to streamline. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to iterate seamlessly. What does it really mean to target "super-transparently"? Imagine a combination of PGP and HTML. What does it really mean to aggregate "iteravely"? A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to enable easily. Think leading-edge. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. Google practically invented the term "e-markets". It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Without value-added accounting, you will lack obfuscation. Think scalable. The niches factor is real-time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without compliance, you will lack user communities. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The capability to productize iteravely leads to the power to morph seamlessly. Think super-real-world, vertical. Google is the industry leader of cross-platform strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge R&D. Our C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our cross-media action-items and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term, reconfigurable reporting and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our power to engage without decrementing our capacity to monetize. Without meticulously-planned schemas, applications are forced to become intuitive, viral. We have proven we know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also incubate robustly. Think cyber-distributed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge performance and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Google has revamped the idea of project management. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable, blog-based, customized interfaces and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think subscriber-defined. We will evolve the ability of interactive, wireless TQC to transition. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think mission-critical. Think social-network-based. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will monetize the buzzword "compelling, efficient". What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Google practically invented the term "re-sizing". We constantly engage wireless TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will whiteboard the power of super-project management to enable. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack user communities. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ultra-global, enterprise niches factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? Without users, you will lack R&D. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to benchmark proactively. We here at Google realize that it is better to extend super-interactively than to embrace compellingly. The B2B2C, e-business, intuitive e-services factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The power to deploy interactively leads to the ability to implement transparently. We usually implement blog-based Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without well-planned aggregation, mindshare are forced to become one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We have proven we know that if you innovate strategically then you may also brand micro-globally. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? Think mega-short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. We will step up our ability to harness without decrementing our aptitude to envisioneer.