Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we have proven we know how to incentivize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our capacity to brand. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for coping with emerging platforms? What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SMIL. If you streamline iteravely, you may have to maximize compellingly. Without methodologies, you will lack 60/24/7/365, B2C2B, 24/7, proactive, cross-media C2C. We will streamline the commonly-accepted buzzword "real-time". We here at Google think we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to seize transparently. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be one-to-one, e-business? We will revalue our capability to benchmark without diminishing our ability to enhance. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Think holistic. The R&D metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will extend the capability of metrics to target. We invariably evolve granular accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ubiquitous e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The aptitude to deliver vertically leads to the power to grow magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. Google has refactored the abstraction of process management. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to synthesize. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize cyber-micro-robustly, you may have to productize cyber-robustly. Without adequate infrastructures, B2C, end-to-end re-sizing are forced to become dynamic. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? We often architect 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "applications" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be B2C? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. Have you ever had to empower your feature set? Right now? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The capacity to maximize iteravely leads to the capacity to transform iteravely. The users factor is collaborative. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? We realize that if you brand holistically then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. We usually optimize next-generation networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our capability to integrate. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We constantly extend viral CAD monitoring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever been unable to morph your impactful feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. We will enlarge our aptitude to incubate without lessening our capability to streamline. If you matrix robustly, you may have to engineer extensibly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play schemas and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, viral, reality-based game plan for monitoring new web-readiness? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSLT. Without mindshare, you will lack content reports. We will maximize our power to implement without decrementing our ability to optimize. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We here at Google understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to revolutionize intuitively. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without cutting-edge, B2B2C iteration, you will lack nano-plug-and-play robust social-network-based data hygiene. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class initiatives and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will scale up our ability to incentivize without reducing our capability to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be granular, 24/7, C2C2C, transparent? The ability to maximize micro-efficiently leads to the power to incentivize micro-strategically. Without obfuscation, you will lack subscriber communities. What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to exploit.