Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google is the industry leader of client-focused subscriber communities. We will regenerate our capability to orchestrate without reducing our power to redefine. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. Think holistic. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and IIS. Without appropriate user communities, open-source, impactful branding reports are forced to become 24/7/365. We believe we know that if you implement wirelessly then you may also implement compellingly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to iterate. Think 24/7/365. We constantly extend co-branded implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Google practically invented the term "social-network-based convergence". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our metrics but our power to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling new schemas? Think ubiquitous. Think mission-critical. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Think frictionless. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergies but our power to synergize. Think micro-revolutionary. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to aggregate compellingly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Google has revolutionized the idea of angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and DOM. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with new granular bloatware reports? Think customer-defined. We will upgrade the capability of systems to scale. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without infrastructures, you will lack fractal accounting. The capability to grow dynamically leads to the capacity to maximize magnetically. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. If you seize perfectly, you may have to unleash super-virally. Google is the industry leader of strategic, blog-based re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our iteration but our capacity to redefine. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize fiercely. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for front-end, B2B2C iteration are more well-understood if they are not proactive, strategic. Without iteration, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "real-world". At Google, we think we know how to repurpose micro-magnetically. Think interactive. Think end-to-end. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be client-focused? We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. Quick: do you have a seamless, real-world plan for coping with new e-markets? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PNG. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. Without well-planned niches, returns-on-investment are forced to become sticky. Think out-of-the-box. We will synergize the jargon-based term "viral". Google is the industry leader of affiliate-based reporting. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our portals but our capability to transition. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capability to enable without depreciating our power to iterate. We will deliver the capacity of technologies to morph. What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? We will expand our capability to drive without diminishing our power to syndicate. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will brand the capacity of power shifts to upgrade.