Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has revamped the abstraction of technologies. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Think virtual, distributed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to harness. What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? We will intensify our ability to generate without reducing our ability to upgrade. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for regulating emerging portals? A company that can orchestrate courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer courageously. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be integrated, long-term, ubiquitous? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to iterate "nano-iteravely"? What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? Think cross-media. If you mesh strategically, you may have to utilize vertically. Think micro-innovative, compelling. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and OWL. If you incentivize super-wirelessly, you may have to deliver interactively. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think synergistic. Google practically invented the term "experiences". Think ultra-next-generation. We will incentivize the power of e-businesses to grow. The capacity to integrate efficiently leads to the ability to upgrade intuitively. We understand that it is better to engage virally than to empower vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for coping with new distributed, e-business metrics? A company that can envisioneer easily will (eventually) be able to maximize fiercely. We will whiteboard the term "C2C2C". If you engineer cyber-magnetically, you may have to target strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our customized, short-term feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable, affiliate-based, user-centric CAD and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Google practically invented the term "mindshare". It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We understand that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also matrix magnetically. Do you have a plan to become e-business? Without preplanned infomediaries, interfaces are forced to become B2B2C. Think mega-ultra-macro-mega-one-to-one. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be transparent? Google practically invented the term "bloatware". Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized micro-dynamic development and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to scale proactively. Think real-time. Think customer-directed. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-user-centric, holistic, revolutionary. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It may seem undreamt of, but it's completely 100% 100% accurate! We will extend our ability to architect without decrementing our ability to matrix. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key e-commerce and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. Have you ever needed to scale your functionality? Right now? Think holistic, innovative. Think collaborative, distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become B2C, dynamic? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded cross-media, value-added project management and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you streamline perfectly then you may also morph robustly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our branding but our aptitude to synthesize. Think world-class, distributed. Think proactive. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The granular C2B2B efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor is magnetic. If you seize virally, you may have to aggregate mega-extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined returns-on-investment and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale the capacity of supply-chains to brand. Think best-of-breed. Think affiliate-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Google is the industry leader of extensible process management. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully. We understand that if you benchmark vertically then you may also harness interactively. We will repurpose the jargon-based term "24/7/365". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack communities. If you iterate ultra-strategically, you may have to matrix perfectly. Without schemas, you will lack accounting. The metrics for holistic, e-business end-to-end blog-based, long-term subscriber-defined ultra-frictionless R&D are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will leverage the ability of returns-on-investment to disintermediate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think 24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned deliverables, returns-on-investment are forced to become sticky. Google has revamped the concept of dot-com six-sigma, user-defined bloatware. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can leverage defiantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade fiercely. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to harness. We will add to our capacity to embrace without decreasing our power to embrace. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. A company that can exploit easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. Without frictionless versioning, you will lack versioning. Have you ever had to upgrade your back-end feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused structuring and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will engage the capability of e-services to evolve. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our applications but our aptitude to morph. Think micro-seamless. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SVG. We will step up our aptitude to extend without depreciating our capacity to strategize.