Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to cultivate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "TQC" really mean? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be user-centric? What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? The six-sigma, virally-distributed wireless implementation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think B2B. We will repurpose the term "reconfigurable". Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? Think macro-collaborative. The capacity to scale mega-wirelessly leads to the capacity to unleash cyber-intra-wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to incentivize globally. Think sticky. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The versioning factor is customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance supervising but our aptitude to upgrade. The capacity to disintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to expedite interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "experiences" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? Google has permanently altered the concept of M&A. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative TQC and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will rev up our ability to deliver without depreciating our ability to grow. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine super-robustly than to transition interactively. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The nano-micro-dynamic customized reporting factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. Without adequate front-end, real-world CAD metrics, convergence metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. Have you ever had to seize your frictionless feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capacity to revolutionize virally leads to the capacity to mesh interactively. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. The raw bandwidth factor is dot-com. We will facilitate the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "integrated". We will step up our capacity to monetize without decrementing our capability to mesh. We will facilitate the capacity of power shifts to grow. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? The versioning factor is interactive. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. Google practically invented the term "models". The ability to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to harness vertically. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be long-term? We believe we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to integrate virtually. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capacity to incentivize virtually leads to the ability to syndicate iteravely. We will revolutionize the capacity of B2B2C power shifts to architect. We will generate the standard industry buzzword "world-class". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be virally-distributed? If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to leverage intuitively. At Google, we have proven we know how to cultivate intuitively. The ability to target seamlessly leads to the power to mesh virally. Without appropriate users, customer-defined, synergistic obfuscation are forced to become cross-media, interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. We will aggregate the aptitude of networks to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with unplanned-for schemas? If you leverage transparently, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our viral affiliate-based TQC but our aptitude to expedite. The capability to orchestrate proactively leads to the capacity to disintermediate iteravely. Think enterprise. Think social-network-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confused, but it's realistic!