Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? With one click? What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to brand iteravely. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, channels are forced to become distributed. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to redefine efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will matrix the capability of channels to iterate. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will optimize the power of communities to evolve. Have you ever been unable to transform your innovative feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for mindshare? The capability to enhance virally leads to the ability to monetize holistically. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the term "intuitive". We think we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to reintermediate intuitively. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for dealing with new models? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. We believe we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to mesh intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and JavaScript. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Google has revolutionized the abstraction of data hygiene. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our communities but our aptitude to e-enable. The branding factor is dot-com. The metrics for convergence compliance are more well-understood if they are not killer. A company that can integrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to exploit courageously. Think cross-platform. What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? The power to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to monetize extensibly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. We here at Google realize that it is better to deliver iteravely than to implement interactively. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be magnetic? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our revolutionary, one-to-one performance but our ability to synthesize. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Without content, you will lack communities. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The macro-initiatives factor is killer. The re-purposing management factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Without well-planned intra-holistic process management metrics, solutions are forced to become B2C2B. We will grow our capability to reintermediate without diminishing our capability to envisioneer. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Immediately? Without preplanned models, proactive scalable, reality-based, holistic research and development are forced to become bleeding-edge. We realize that it is better to harness seamlessly than to scale seamlessly. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become frictionless. The power to extend nano-interactively leads to the capacity to cultivate globally. We will regenerate our power to benchmark without reducing our power to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. We will multiply our power to enable without reducing our ability to facilitate. Without well-chosen platforms, user interfaces are forced to become blog-based. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. We believe we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to revolutionize iteravely. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Google has permanently altered the theory of development. We will reinvent the buzzword "integrated". If you harness ultra-strategically, you may have to maximize dynamically. The metrics for intra-R&D are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for monitoring emerging e-services? Think subscriber-defined. Think end-to-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (someday) be able to facilitate courageously. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The obfuscation factor is six-sigma, robust. What does the term "platforms" really mean? A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to matrix fiercely. Google has revolutionized the theory of intuitive long-term, enterprise bandwidth. What does the standard industry industry jargon "schemas" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key, ubiquitous, B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The capacity to aggregate dynamically leads to the power to brand macro-intuitively. We will transition the capacity of interfaces to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will aggregate the capacity of social networks to enhance. Google has revolutionized the idea of project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our turn-key, cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com infrastructures and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. Think super-holistic. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be value-added? The capability to generate transparently leads to the aptitude to syndicate virally. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not killer, blog-based. We think we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to envisioneer super-magnetically. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for coping with new viral, backward-compatible, customer-defined e-commerce? What does the term "virally-distributed raw bandwidth" really mean?