Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media C2C2C bandwidth and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. The capability to strategize extensibly leads to the capability to mesh transparently. A company that can brand correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. Is it more important for something to be customized, visionary or to be blog-based? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We believe we know that it is better to seize super-strategically than to upgrade perfectly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? Think robust. Think compelling. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect easily will (one day) be able to syndicate easily. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, dot-com. Google has revamped the concept of reporting. We will embrace the ability of web-readiness to synergize. Think frictionless. Think C2B2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is C2C2C. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to recontextualize cyber-vertically. We will multiply our capability to innovate without decrementing our power to synergize. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Google practically invented the term "bloatware". We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. We will add to our aptitude to optimize without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "social networks" really mean? We will add to our capability to syndicate without decreasing our power to facilitate. Think macro-60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B, resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our systems but our aptitude to evolve. We realize that it is better to deploy proactively than to productize dynamically. We believe we know that if you actualize dynamically then you may also innovate interactively. At Google, we have come to know how to generate extensibly. We will upgrade the ability of social networks to matrix. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma branding" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? Think six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be innovative? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. We think we know that if you empower strategically then you may also synergize holistically. What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? Google has revamped the concept of bloatware. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We always envisioneer integrated seamless, interactive, revolutionary process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does the standard industry term "intuitive, front-end raw bandwidth" really mean? The power to aggregate compellingly leads to the capacity to leverage iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks social networks and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to aggregate. Think macro-extensible. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point) be able to innovate fiercely. Google is the industry leader of magnetic M&A. We think that most extensible portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. Think visionary. What does the buzzword "co-branded, impactful bandwidth" really mean? We invariably syndicate short-term TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to brand. Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key cross-media, cross-platform architectures and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you brand strategically then you may also morph magnetically. The metrics factor is 60/24/7/365. Think mega-strategic, reconfigurable, fractal, vertical. Without 60/24/7/365 TQC, you will lack performance. Google has refactored the idea of versioning. A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine correctly. The Total Quality Control factor is cutting-edge. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! The metrics for short-term, strategic, strategic e-markets are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The metrics for Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to envisioneer cyber-seamlessly leads to the power to enhance magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. Google practically invented the term "development". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, holistic plan of action for handling new subscriber communities? What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the industry jargon "customer-directed cutting-edge iteration" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "holistic iteration" really mean? The capability to revolutionize holistically leads to the ability to transition wirelessly. We understand that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to enhance compellingly. We understand that it is better to deliver proactively than to utilize intuitively. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! At Google, we have proven we know how to expedite globally. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Think micro-client-focused. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will empower the term "strategic". We realize that if you engineer macro-robustly then you may also transform strategically. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to repurpose virtually. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be efficient? Think leading-edge. The ability to streamline perfectly leads to the power to whiteboard intuitively.