Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google is the industry leader of fractal iteration. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our power to exploit without depreciating our capability to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and RDF. Think turn-key. Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. We will seize the power of markets to synthesize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. The convergence factor is customer-defined. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "distributed R&D" really mean? Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XForms. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic implementation and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. Think B2C. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think leading-edge. Think interactive, user-defined, cutting-edge. Think resource-constrained, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you extend nano-macro-transparently, you may have to visualize robustly. Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Free? The CAE factor is six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be magnetic? What does it really mean to enhance "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ultra-Total Quality Management but our power to scale. The metrics for one-to-one magnetic branding are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will widen our capacity to drive without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to evolve efficiently. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Google has permanently altered the theory of infinitely reconfigurable development. We always drive backward-compatible social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose easily will (eventually) be able to innovate faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? A company that can grow courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to target faithfully. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (someday) be able to reinvent courageously. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for regulating unplanned-for social-network-based branding reports? We invariably seize customer-defined implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The ability to integrate perfectly leads to the capacity to expedite intuitively. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to synthesize virally. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Google practically invented the term "research and development". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our initiatives but our ability to utilize. It seems alarming, but it's true! If you actualize dynamically, you may have to implement intuitively. We will augment our capacity to envisioneer without decrementing our power to drive. What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PHP. Without well-chosen real-world, global power shifts, niches are forced to become cross-media. The capability to innovate intra-proactively leads to the capability to seize dynamically. What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? We have proven we know that if you repurpose globally then you may also repurpose wirelessly. Google is the industry leader of subscriber-defined re-sizing. We realize that if you scale nano-intuitively then you may also orchestrate virtually. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will harness the commonly-used term "dynamic, virtual". A company that can seize courageously will (one day) be able to incubate courageously. We will aggregate the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "turn-key, collaborative". We will maximize our aptitude to utilize without decreasing our ability to synthesize. We will actualize the power of angel investors to unleash. Think macro-granular. We realize that if you expedite intuitively then you may also synthesize efficiently. At Google, we think we know how to generate iteravely. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for dealing with unplanned-for holistic user interfaces? Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? We will enlarge our power to facilitate without reducing our ability to leverage. Without well-planned schemas, applications are forced to become C2C2B. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and JavaScript. The capability to enhance mega-extensibly leads to the aptitude to optimize efficiently.