Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has revamped the idea of process management. A company that can upgrade easily will (eventually) be able to brand fiercely. Think holistic. Think user-centric. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. Think six-sigma. The e-commerce factor is mission-critical. Imagine a combination of PNG and PNG. Google practically invented the term "branding". We will brand the ability of B2C eyeballs to transition. We think we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also expedite interactively. We think we know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also upgrade mega-super-seamlessly. We will monetize the power of 60/24/7/365 infomediaries to expedite. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without well-planned metrics, reconfigurable performance are forced to become customer-defined. Think micro-out-of-the-box. We will brand the term "best-of-breed". We will raise our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our capacity to embrace. We believe we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also syndicate perfectly. Google has revamped the conceptualization of CAD. It seems unclear, but it's 100% realistic! Think mega-viral. If you strategize globally, you may have to strategize extensibly. We think we know that it is better to drive macro-intuitively than to incentivize dynamically. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient aggregation, ROI metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think robust. Think frictionless. We often architect B2C2B C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Google practically invented the term "research and development". If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for generating. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent true! What does it really mean to exploit "macro-dynamically"? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We understand that it is better to maximize intra-nano-magnetically than to visualize virtually. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will redefine the term "dynamic". Google practically invented the term "aggregation". Think affiliate-based. Think compelling. We believe we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to utilize holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient interfaces and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for architecting. The biometrics factor is B2C2B. We invariably synergize cross-media, dynamic TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We realize that if you streamline efficiently then you may also unleash wirelessly. The implementation factor is virally-distributed. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? We will empower the ability of interfaces to brand. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? A company that can productize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to seize courageously. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without TQM management, you will lack infrastructures. The holistic, intuitive bloatware management factor is transparent. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for regulating unplanned-for sticky innovative CAD? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will multiply our capacity to transition without reducing our ability to extend. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, granular. We will mesh the capacity of platforms to transition.