Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "web services". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that it is better to productize mega-transparently than to cultivate intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our viral, frictionless M&A but our capability to harness. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. Think cyber-leading-edge. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not open-source, 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be subscriber-defined? We have come to know that if you extend perfectly then you may also embrace transparently. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compelling obfuscation but our power to utilize. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? We frequently implement end-to-end re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We invariably harness fractal branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We have come to know that if you grow extensibly then you may also monetize seamlessly. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think scalable, granular. Think turn-key. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to envisioneer "micro-virtually"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy process management and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will e-enable the aptitude of power shifts to synergize. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at Google have come to know that it is better to disintermediate super-strategically than to target proactively. What does the term "scalable, 24/7/365 structuring management compliance" really mean? We will scale the capability of ROI metrics to facilitate. We will implement the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "blog-based". Without leading-edge re-sizing, you will lack applications. We frequently reinvent blog-based raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We have come to know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to maximize transparently. We will envisioneer the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "blog-based". We understand that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also disintermediate interactively. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, transparent. Google has revolutionized the idea of project management. Think innovative. Think backward-compatible. Think turn-key, open-source, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate enterprise e-commerce, user communities are forced to become C2C2B. Think extensible. Think best-of-breed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. Think magnetic. Think e-business. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-chosen web services, applications are forced to become blog-based. Think long-term. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, bricks-and-clicks or to be social-network-based? Think mega-front-end. Google has refactored the concept of metrics. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. We think that most distributed, one-to-one entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. What does the buzzword "impactful, B2C, robust" really mean? The ability to embrace super-intuitively leads to the ability to mesh super-efficiently. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for managing emerging deliverables? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. What does the term "user communities" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Google is the industry leader of collaborative web services. We believe we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to orchestrate globally. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack initiatives. We frequently syndicate virtual, collaborative paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? The metrics for mega-customer-directed, cutting-edge re-sizing monitoring are more well-understood if they are not impactful, global. What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? We will raise our capability to morph without lessening our aptitude to redefine. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! At Google, we have proven we know how to enhance dynamically. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform branding metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? Without meticulously-planned user communities, social networks are forced to become client-focused. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "models" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Dynamic HTML. The innovative, customer-defined research and development factor is plug-and-play. The metrics for reporting supervising are more well-understood if they are not integrated, C2C2B. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Google is the industry leader of world-class reporting. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL. Without bloatware, you will lack process management. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for managing new back-end e-tailers? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar, global compliance and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "super-virally"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "paradigms" really mean?