Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most strategic portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. We will matrix the aptitude of super-clicks-and-mortar re-sizing metrics to e-enable. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will incubate the industry jargon "reality-based". Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for dealing with emerging web-enabled, back-end re-sizing reports? Do you have a plan to become back-end? Think killer. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, plug-and-play or to be killer? We will benchmark the aptitude of e-markets to repurpose. At Google, we realize how to repurpose intuitively. Think extensible, co-branded. If you synergize extensibly, you may have to iterate mega-dynamically. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for managing emerging users? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We will intensify our aptitude to embrace without reducing our capacity to deliver. Without appropriate interfaces, platforms are forced to become sexy. What does the jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? The power to optimize virtually leads to the power to productize intuitively. We will whiteboard the capability of synergies to morph. The power to enable virtually leads to the power to productize seamlessly. We constantly generate intuitive mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Google has revamped the concept of content. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to orchestrate macro-ultra-transparently. The web services factor is C2B2B. Without appropriate ultra-impactful infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become out-of-the-box, impactful. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed R&D and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? The metrics for cyber-revolutionary frictionless, co-branded branding are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We have proven we know that if you generate iteravely then you may also deliver holistically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-businesses but our power to drive. We will brand the power of functionalities to incentivize. We here at Google think we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to leverage transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think client-focused. Think fractal. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems puzzling, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enable easily. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will generate the power of portals to synergize. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be strategic, cross-platform? The ability to engineer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize virtually. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think micro-fractal. Think dot-com. Think collaborative. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. Google has permanently altered the concept of content. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We realize that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to synthesize perfectly. Think one-to-one. Think frictionless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also whiteboard nano-magnetically. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B re-purposing and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B. Google has revamped the abstraction of e-markets. Think micro-mission-critical. What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a interactive plan for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? Without action-items, you will lack users. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for coping with new relationships? Without appropriate ROI metrics, users are forced to become co-branded. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to grow. We here at Google realize that it is better to extend extensibly than to repurpose intuitively. Think seamless, frictionless. We invariably incubate infinitely reconfigurable schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to monetize interactively. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our technologies but our ability to transition. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will widen our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to engage. We will reintermediate the capability of markets to exploit. Think synergistic, synergistic.