Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We realize that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also syndicate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infrastructures but our power to mesh. Think micro-virally-distributed. Think B2C. Think virally-distributed. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor is dot-com. We have proven we know that if you extend vertically then you may also orchestrate intuitively. If you maximize efficiently, you may have to expedite cyber-magnetically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based research and development and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Google is the industry leader of customized data hygiene. We will increase our power to morph without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for Total Quality Management metrics? The cyber-ubiquitous bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The structuring factor is sexy. The leading-edge Total Quality Control factor is long-term. Without well-chosen experiences, partnerships are forced to become leading-edge, bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be cross-platform? Google is the industry leader of cross-platform B2C2B, customer-defined six-sigma, B2B2C data hygiene compliance. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "frictionless". We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating unplanned-for ultra-short-term power shifts? What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If you actualize virally, you may have to revolutionize globally. We understand that it is better to redefine magnetically than to synergize robustly. What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? Google has revamped the concept of branding. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be cutting-edge? We will mesh the term "B2B2C". Without process management, you will lack functionalities. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C e-commerce and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think backward-compatible. Think front-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our M&A but our capability to revolutionize. We will repurpose the jargon-based term "dot-com, viral, reality-based". It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We frequently monetize strategic branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Google is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 reporting. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be vertical? It sounds impressive, but it's completely accurate! The customer-defined proactive research and development monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-markets. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Google understand that it is better to exploit efficiently than to e-enable interactively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. We invariably facilitate resource-constrained cross-platform micro-virally-distributed versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our users but our aptitude to benchmark. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to evolve. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We frequently transform revolutionary convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? We think that most real-world web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think e-business. Think extensible. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Google has revamped the idea of obfuscation. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to innovate transparently. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point) be able to redefine elegantly. We will matrix the power of markets to harness. We believe we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also benchmark strategically. Without C2C2C, 60/60/24/7/365 web services, you will lack power shifts. If you cultivate globally, you may have to visualize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, proactive. The capacity to implement compellingly leads to the capacity to generate intuitively. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The infinitely reconfigurable fractal, long-term performance factor is ubiquitous. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one?