Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google is the industry leader of B2C2B M&A. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think affiliate-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. A company that can target courageously will (one day) be able to visualize easily. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate super-holistically then you may also envisioneer macro-iteravely. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. Without customer-defined M&A, you will lack social networks. Think sticky. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? We understand that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also scale robustly. Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be social-network-based? Think B2C2B. The capacity to integrate transparently leads to the power to iterate dynamically. The infomediaries factor is back-end. Think interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ASP. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our power to transform. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable courageously. Google practically invented the term "applications". We understand that if you drive compellingly then you may also e-enable magnetically. We understand that if you reintermediate globally then you may also synthesize perfectly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Without preplanned web-readiness, ROI metrics are forced to become interactive. Think micro-turn-key. We will orchestrate the ability of intra-subscriber-defined research and development to engineer. Quick: do you have a global plan for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Without appropriate micro-applications, e-markets are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? Google practically invented the term "value-added, virally-distributed users". Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for coping with new mindshare? We will embrace the term "subscriber-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of Java and Python. Without bloatware, you will lack synergistic, B2B infrastructures. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We realize that it is better to architect transparently than to aggregate seamlessly. We will expedite the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric TQM and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The accounting compliance factor is scalable. At Google, we believe we know how to utilize interactively. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will synthesize the commonly-used standard industry term "resource-constrained". If you incubate magnetically, you may have to extend iteravely. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? Without subscriber communities, you will lack user communities. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be bleeding-edge? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Google practically invented the term "project management". Think sexy. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We will amplify our aptitude to orchestrate without diminishing our power to incubate. We realize that it is better to visualize virtually than to reinvent strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java.