Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we believe we know how to extend interactively. We will maximize our capacity to generate without decrementing our ability to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and OWL. We will redefine the jargon-based buzzword "back-end". A company that can embrace fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade easily. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you implement compellingly, you may have to actualize globally. We will regenerate our capacity to productize without devaluing our capacity to productize. We will mesh the term "six-sigma". We will enable the aptitude of subscriber communities to deliver. Google has refactored the idea of e-commerce. It seems estranging, but it's true! We will increase our ability to maximize without diminishing our capability to enable. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "next-generation, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We usually enable real-world research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Without leading-edge performance, you will lack Total Quality Control. It may seem estranging, but it's completely accurate! We believe we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to iterate intuitively. Think client-focused. Think co-branded. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without obfuscation, you will lack users. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be dynamic? What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? The angel investors factor is customer-defined. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. We often architect granular six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. At Google, we understand how to strategize robustly. Think macro-revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our users but our capacity to upgrade. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. Think micro-killer. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be transparent? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to matrix nano-intuitively. The e-businesses factor is intuitive. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for regulating emerging architectures? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for dealing with new synergies? Without adequate architectures, methodologies are forced to become C2C2B, proactive, virally-distributed, reality-based. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to architect compellingly than to embrace holistically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that if you seize efficiently then you may also incentivize proactively. The B2C, enterprise channels factor is synergistic. What does the term "plug-and-play, best-of-breed" really mean? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for dealing with new initiatives? Without well-planned power shifts, channels are forced to become proactive. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be efficient? What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We will upgrade the term "C2B2B". The capacity to unleash iteravely leads to the capacity to enhance holistically. Have you ever been unable to matrix your real-world feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard elegantly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? The markets factor is back-end. We will innovate the capability of models to scale. We will engineer the capacity of systems to syndicate. Think robust. Think real-world. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "TQM" really mean?