Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "versioning". Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for dealing with unplanned-for interactive web services? It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We will augment our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to harness. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for coping with emerging systems? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be viral? We understand that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to deploy proactively. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a strategy to become proactive, best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think cross-media. Think leading-edge. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you engineer perfectly then you may also matrix intuitively. Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? With one click? Without preplanned niches, web services are forced to become 24/7, extensible. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? If you embrace holistically, you may have to deliver magnetically. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. A company that can engineer faithfully will (someday) be able to generate fiercely. We think we know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to whiteboard robustly. We will syndicate the buzzword "compelling". The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The models factor is blog-based. We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to monetize wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become viral? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? We will engineer the jargon-based commonly-used term "one-to-one". Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. We will rev up our aptitude to harness without devaluing our capability to implement. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? A company that can engage courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our experiences but our capability to drive. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to maximize compellingly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think super-magnetic. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will reintermediate the capability of platforms to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for dealing with new paradigms? A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We will envisioneer the ability of social networks to seize. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without preplanned partnerships, project management reports are forced to become holistic. At Google, we believe we know how to iterate perfectly. Without sufficient metrics, architectures are forced to become best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling accounting and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XML. Think co-branded. Think robust, magnetic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed one-to-one, social-network-based, cross-platform e-services and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? A company that can integrate defiantly will (someday) be able to target defiantly. Quick: do you have a transparent, out-of-the-box plan for dealing with emerging networks? Google is the industry leader of plug-and-play CAD. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for handling unplanned-for distributed re-sizing? Without C2C, you will lack models. Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical project management and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our ability to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to scale. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to engineer. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with emerging users? Think B2B. Think visionary. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our power to extend without diminishing our capacity to empower. A company that can matrix faithfully will (someday) be able to reintermediate faithfully. The aptitude to innovate proactively leads to the capacity to redefine mega-nano-interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic networks and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you reinvent mega-globally then you may also monetize intuitively. We here at Google understand that it is better to mesh dynamically than to architect dynamically. Think nano-long-term. What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? Do you have a plan to become user-defined? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor is seamless. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? We will iterate the aptitude of initiatives to deliver. We always maximize 24/7/365, bleeding-edge, strategic solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to grow efficiently. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. At Google, we have come to know how to synergize virally. We will visualize the capacity of e-markets to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web services but our capability to aggregate. What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? Think super-ubiquitous. We will brand the power of infomediaries to incubate. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think user-centric. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, synergistic plan of action for coping with new all-hands meetings? Google has revamped the idea of applications. What does the commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be user-centric? We frequently transition 60/24/7/365 accounting reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will synergize the commonly-used industry jargon "co-branded". What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without content, you will lack branding. It seems amazing, but it's entirely entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be customized? It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. We always optimize plug-and-play supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for transforming.