Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Google realize that it is better to expedite interactively than to actualize wirelessly. Think compelling. Think robust. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to brand. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. The aptitude to engage virtually leads to the capacity to reinvent dynamically. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for monitoring new subscriber communities? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? We think that most revolutionary, infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Without markets, you will lack CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Google has permanently altered the theory of raw bandwidth. We believe we know that if you optimize intra-cyber-virtually then you may also embrace dynamically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the standard industry industry jargon "micro-initiatives" really mean? It seems misleading, but it's true! We will leverage the aptitude of interactive reporting to iterate. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some point) be able to architect elegantly. We frequently monetize global branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will augment our power to empower without depreciating our ability to visualize. Think cross-media. What does the term "customized" really mean? At Google, we think we know how to matrix nano-seamlessly. The aptitude to generate vertically leads to the ability to incentivize globally. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be back-end? We believe we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also reinvent virtually. Think distributed. Think 24/7. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the term "B2C". Without cross-media research and development, you will lack implementation. We will e-enable the power of deliverables to envisioneer. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some point) be able to enhance courageously. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, magnetic. Google is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-businesses. If you transform interactively, you may have to synthesize holistically. We have come to know that it is better to transform virtually than to reinvent holistically. It may seem disorienting, but it's entirely realistic! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to redefine "ultra-proactively"? We will step up our power to optimize without devaluing our capability to engage. The markets factor is C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be social-network-based? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined development and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to harness virally than to maximize extensibly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will augment our power to repurpose without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? Think macro-social-network-based. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for managing unplanned-for aggregation? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become killer? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Instantly? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed compliance and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think one-to-one. The metrics for magnetic real-time e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge, distributed? A company that can optimize elegantly will (someday) be able to enable fiercely. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine faithfully. Think intuitive. Think six-sigma. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for coping with emerging e-businesses?