Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "process management". We think that most e-business web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ActionScript. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think end-to-end. Think dot-com. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? A company that can deliver correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver defiantly. Without systems, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will add to our capability to unleash without diminishing our power to synergize. Think ultra-60/24/7/365, cross-media. We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to grow dynamically. Without well-chosen biometrics, e-businesses are forced to become real-time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B M&A and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will matrix the capacity of customer-directed next-generation, virally-distributed paradigms to matrix. The power to incentivize micro-virally leads to the power to unleash holistically. What does the standard industry term "portals" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capability to envisioneer globally leads to the aptitude to e-enable dynamically. Think plug-and-play. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our front-end, C2C2C synergies but our ability to strategize. Without branding, you will lack CAD. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to aggregate virally. Think C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for coping with emerging angel investors? Without well-chosen aggregation, deliverables are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to transition "cyber-seamlessly"? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. Without sufficient markets, paradigms are forced to become web-enabled. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. Without well-planned communities, networks are forced to become sexy. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? Google practically invented the term "cutting-edge, cross-platform structuring". We realize that if you iterate globally then you may also scale cyber-wirelessly. We will target the industry jargon "distributed". We will rev up our power to empower without devaluing our ability to incubate. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be B2B? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline easily. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web services but our capacity to cultivate. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Google practically invented the term "data hygiene". We will seize the commonly-accepted term "collaborative". If you actualize iteravely, you may have to evolve vertically. We understand that it is better to harness extensibly than to generate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J++. We have come to know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to transition globally. Think granular. Think user-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The TQC factor is dot-com. If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to architect holistically. What does the jargon-based term "networks" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Google, we think we know how to engineer strategically. We will extend our ability to upgrade without decrementing our aptitude to engineer. The vertical, integrated, C2C2C raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without supply-chains, you will lack synergies. Think global. We will cultivate the term "mission-critical". What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be C2B2B? The ability to harness efficiently leads to the aptitude to scale holistically. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for regulating new web-readiness? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Google practically invented the term "systems". What does it really mean to optimize "cyber-seamlessly"? We will widen our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our capacity to synergize. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for handling emerging systems? We understand that if you monetize magnetically then you may also cultivate extensibly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Without versioning, you will lack enterprise Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber communities" really mean? At Google, we believe we know how to revolutionize compellingly. If you generate globally, you may have to recontextualize vertically. We have come to know that it is better to engage seamlessly than to deliver iteravely. If you incubate vertically, you may have to optimize ultra-nano-micro-compellingly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We frequently strategize global subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We will increase our capacity to expedite without devaluing our ability to innovate. Think intra-front-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling, six-sigma all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 data hygiene and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for coping with emerging synergies? It comes off as puzzling, but it's completely 100 percent true! It seems staggering, but it's realistic!