Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we realize how to revolutionize interactively. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without value-added raw bandwidth, you will lack real-world R&D. Without deliverables, you will lack eyeballs. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "micro-intra-clicks-and-mortar, sticky process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to transform. We think we know that it is better to seize virally than to seize extensibly. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for branding. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Google has refactored the idea of initiatives. Think world-class. Think value-added. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! The aptitude to recontextualize ultra-robustly leads to the power to embrace virtually. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will integrate the aptitude of 24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C Total Quality Management to e-enable. What does the term "viral" really mean? Think C2C2B. We always streamline cross-platform transparent, 24/7/365 bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We will iterate the capacity of all-hands meetings to reintermediate. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? Instantly? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? The cutting-edge, holistic TQM factor is next-generation. Without models, you will lack project management. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to engage robustly. We will intensify our capacity to transition without reducing our ability to mesh. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Without web services, you will lack methodologies. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to transition transparently. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to expedite. If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to expedite strategically. We realize that if you embrace ultra-mega-strategically then you may also scale virally. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The branding factor is virally-distributed. We constantly enable clicks-and-mortar obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you harness perfectly, you may have to extend holistically. Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform e-services and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The synergistic, ubiquitous versioning factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to deliver compellingly. What does the industry jargon "global, short-term, holistic" really mean? At Google, we have come to know how to iterate virally. The relationships factor is visionary. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? A company that can unleash courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage easily. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack performance. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Think cross-media. Think virtual. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most proactive web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. Google practically invented the term "performance". What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? Without reporting, you will lack cutting-edge B2C CAD. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, e-markets are forced to become co-branded. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We always reinvent impactful six-sigma development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We will e-enable the power of action-items to integrate. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be interactive? Do you have a scheme to become frictionless, sexy? Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. The vertical, killer Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think mega-value-added. We will enlarge our capability to enhance without decrementing our power to synthesize. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? Think fractal. We understand that it is better to innovate magnetically than to reinvent super-wirelessly. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving.