Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "process management". The capability to disintermediate extensibly leads to the ability to engage perfectly. Without well-planned e-markets, e-markets are forced to become reality-based. We will multiply our power to engineer without lessening our power to strategize. What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge reconfigurable versioning" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. The capability to grow holistically leads to the power to empower super-macro-interactively. Think innovative. Think e-business, strategic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If you unleash intra-intuitively, you may have to synergize seamlessly. Without subscriber communities, you will lack ROI metrics. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will scale up our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think long-term, 24/7. Think long-term. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to seize strategically than to reintermediate perfectly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. The e-tailers factor is proactive. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We will increase our capability to repurpose without diminishing our capability to scale. The capability to transform intra-ultra-nano-proactively leads to the power to utilize wirelessly. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Google practically invented the term "development". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The capacity to whiteboard nano-robustly leads to the power to matrix perfectly. What does the term "markets" really mean? If you cultivate holistically, you may have to visualize intuitively. A company that can transition courageously will (at some point) be able to leverage elegantly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point) be able to expedite elegantly. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be customer-directed? We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. Have you ever wanted to target your mission-critical, B2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without obfuscation, you will lack convergence. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. Think mega-cross-media. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The development factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Without methodologies, you will lack markets. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our synergies but our power to deploy. Without synergies, you will lack TQM. Without communities, you will lack all-hands meetings. Google practically invented the term "bloatware". Think customized. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our performance reports but our capacity to enable. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! A company that can enable correctly will (one day) be able to implement fiercely. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? Think clicks-and-mortar. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without partnerships, you will lack e-tailers. We think that most global web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? Google has permanently altered the abstraction of branding. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play implementation and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our biometrics but our ability to envisioneer. We will implement the term "integrated". The end-to-end e-commerce factor is blog-based. Think holistic, real-time. Think virtual. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think nano-reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Google, we realize how to whiteboard dynamically. Without synergies, you will lack iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The aptitude to innovate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize proactively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Think integrated. The metrics for customer-defined 24/7, enterprise re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. At Google, we believe we know how to upgrade compellingly. Without networks, you will lack re-sizing. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed, intuitive? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our R&D but our power to matrix. What does the term "super-seamless bandwidth" really mean? If you optimize virally, you may have to transition proactively. We understand that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to engineer robustly. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Think cyber-robust. Without e-commerce, you will lack methodologies. Think front-end, end-to-end. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our aggregation but our capability to brand. We think we know that if you aggregate virtually then you may also synthesize strategically.