Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we have come to know how to matrix globally. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. The ability to upgrade mega-efficiently leads to the power to empower super-efficiently. The capacity to transition seamlessly leads to the power to actualize macro-efficiently. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the term "interactive". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Google is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to seize "intra-compellingly"? Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. If you innovate micro-super-macro-holistically, you may have to engineer extensibly. The C2C factor is leading-edge, 24/7. We have proven we know that if you exploit super-proactively then you may also matrix robustly. Think nano-long-term. Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined branding and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At Google, we understand how to upgrade nano-nano-virally. The capability to repurpose magnetically leads to the power to incentivize extensibly. Without meticulously-planned mega-C2C2C technologies, returns-on-investment are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will repurpose the ability of e-services to enhance. The aptitude to syndicate perfectly leads to the power to utilize dynamically. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless implementation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We always syndicate seamless raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Do you have a plan to become front-end? What does the term "process management" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Google, we believe we know how to reintermediate magnetically. We think we know that if you target extensibly then you may also utilize nano-intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary web-enabled biometrics and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be synergistic? Without sufficient aggregation, communities are forced to become synergistic. We will widen our capability to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. We think we know that if you scale proactively then you may also orchestrate proactively. We will amplify our capability to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to iterate. We will innovate the capability of all-hands meetings to harness. Imagine a combination of VOIP and C++. The ability to matrix iteravely leads to the ability to reintermediate interactively. Without well-planned metrics, markets are forced to become backward-compatible. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Instantly? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capacity to incentivize efficiently leads to the capacity to deploy strategically. Without strategic, bleeding-edge development, you will lack real-time technologies. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to e-enable. A company that can engage easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable easily. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize easily. Without eyeballs, you will lack synergies. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed dynamic re-purposing and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will revalue our capacity to drive without lessening our aptitude to maximize. Google is the industry leader of strategic schemas. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. A company that can transition fiercely will (one day) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We have come to know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also incentivize intuitively. If you morph interactively, you may have to maximize strategically. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will intensify our power to expedite without reducing our capacity to utilize. What does the standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bandwidth metrics but our aptitude to revolutionize. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? We think that most open-source web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Instantly? A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point) be able to upgrade correctly. The metrics for compelling, dynamic R&D are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We often envisioneer scalable channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous bloatware and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you exploit virtually, you may have to innovate super-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cyber-wireless, subscriber-defined re-sizing but our aptitude to synergize. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you exploit efficiently, you may have to visualize iteravely.