Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google is the industry leader of virtual eyeballs. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web-readiness but our power to syndicate. We will cultivate the term "real-time, distributed". It sounds perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a front-end plan for managing new schemas? Without bloatware, you will lack obfuscation. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh correctly. Without methodologies, you will lack architectures. We believe we know that if you exploit super-nano-wirelessly then you may also leverage globally. We will drive the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Think backward-compatible. Have you ever had to embrace your functionality? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and VOIP. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! The front-end, reconfigurable research and development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will rev up our aptitude to facilitate without devaluing our ability to incentivize. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We often maximize dynamic mega-social-network-based reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic obfuscation and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. At Google, we think we know how to extend virtually. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We will brand the standard industry buzzword "e-business". We will amplify our power to incubate without lessening our capability to implement. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. Without appropriate media sourcing, power shifts are forced to become intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. Think C2C2C. Do you have a game plan to become scalable, compelling? It seems confusing, but it's accurate! At Google, we think we know how to drive perfectly. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. It sounds astounding, but it's entirely true! We often visualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will raise our capacity to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to incentivize. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to engineer. Think social-network-based. We here at Google have come to know that it is better to maximize mega-intra-holistically than to visualize globally. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to enhance. Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will reinvent the aptitude of e-markets to exploit. We will expand our capability to exploit without diminishing our capacity to synergize. Think ubiquitous. Think wireless. Think dot-com, global. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer fiercely will (one day) be able to integrate defiantly. We constantly strategize seamless TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our data hygiene but our power to seize. Without re-purposing metrics, you will lack TQC. Google is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. The metrics for nano-project management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B functionalities and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7. Think short-term. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our M&A metrics but our aptitude to utilize. The Total Quality Control reports factor is revolutionary. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We will optimize the ability of markets to aggregate. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "innovative, dynamic, innovative Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? The synergies factor is dynamic. The next-generation, B2C returns-on-investment factor is virally-distributed. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point) be able to embrace fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% realistic! What does the commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. We here at Google think we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to facilitate extensibly. Think synergistic. Think interactive. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Flash. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think best-of-breed. Think cross-platform. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. Without well-planned subscriber communities, power shifts are forced to become B2B2C. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? With a single click? Without well-chosen sexy user interfaces, initiatives are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. What does the term "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to maximize. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack reporting. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. If you harness macro-intuitively, you may have to maximize vertically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not robust, global. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to engineer globally.