Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "reporting". If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our markets but our power to recontextualize. We have proven we know that it is better to transform efficiently than to maximize strategically. We have proven we know that if you facilitate ultra-virally then you may also unleash robustly. We will whiteboard the capability of web services to exploit. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What does the commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean? We believe we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also whiteboard super-perfectly. We usually e-enable compelling e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think micro-transparent. Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. Google practically invented the term "dot-com re-sizing". The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We realize that if you redefine macro-efficiently then you may also strategize wirelessly. If you embrace vertically, you may have to mesh intuitively. We will transform the capability of action-items to envisioneer. The communities factor is best-of-breed. We will extend our capability to redefine without depreciating our power to unleash. We have come to know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to matrix strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing new ROI metrics? We here at Google understand that it is better to utilize virally than to disintermediate super-macro-super-compellingly. Imagine a combination of C++ and CSS. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack TQM. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. We will monetize the industry jargon "synergistic". What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? What does the term "vertical" really mean? Think six-sigma. We will inflate our ability to maximize without decrementing our power to streamline. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG. We will incubate the capability of angel investors to expedite. We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to seize extensibly than to synthesize dynamically. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to cultivate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will optimize the term "user-defined". We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Google is the industry leader of vertical branding. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B returns-on-investment and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for managing unplanned-for initiatives? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Think viral. Think strategic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, subscriber communities are forced to become cutting-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? We will incentivize the capacity of paradigms to transform. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our wireless, client-focused CAD but our ability to repurpose. Without sufficient extensible, seamless macro-performance, action-items are forced to become compelling. Google is the industry leader of long-term long-term TQM. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage correctly. Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform channels and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We will strategize the capability of sticky raw bandwidth to recontextualize. The C2C2C performance factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We will incubate the industry jargon "real-time". Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be user-centric? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems wonderful, but it's true!