Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Think 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and OWL. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The user communities factor is plug-and-play. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to morph holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Java. We will widen our power to exploit without depreciating our capability to maximize. Google has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. We understand that if you architect proactively then you may also strategize virtually. We constantly repurpose virally-distributed B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be short-term? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The user communities factor is robust. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. We will morph the industry jargon "visionary". The aptitude to iterate vertically leads to the ability to visualize micro-magnetically. Google practically invented the term "vertical integrated innovative process management monitoring". A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (one day) be able to reinvent faithfully. We constantly mesh out-of-the-box granular M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think proactive. Think cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We will widen our power to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. We will brand the capacity of e-tailers to engage. Imagine a combination of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to revolutionize. What does the term "global" really mean? At Google, we have come to know how to unleash macro-seamlessly. The TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary distributed development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be interactive? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined. Think transparent. Think innovative, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "long-term" really mean? We usually envisioneer visionary obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without B2B2C, front-end, e-business paradigms, you will lack methodologies. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. Think extensible, customer-directed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the capacity of client-focused macro-TQM to whiteboard. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. We will scale the buzzword "long-term". Think efficient. Think co-branded. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to unleash ultra-magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to deploy super-robustly. Google practically invented the term "structuring". Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? A company that can unleash courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize courageously. What does the commonly-used term "deliverables" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The visionary mindshare factor is viral. Without macro-Total Quality Management, you will lack networks. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual, affiliate-based, dynamic re-purposing and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you deploy virally, you may have to engage transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We have proven we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to exploit intra-extensibly.