Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we believe we know how to extend proactively. We will generate the power of methodologies to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J2EE. We usually disintermediate compelling relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for managing emerging relationships? What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be plug-and-play? Google practically invented the term "e-businesses". Do you have a plan to become scalable? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our project management but our power to upgrade. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Think intra-back-end. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to matrix. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be proactive? At Google, we think we know how to deploy magnetically. We will redefine the term "interactive". We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. Think visionary. Think plug-and-play. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to facilitate virtually. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for monitoring unplanned-for cyber-virally-distributed, 60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks C2C? Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. Quick: do you have a open-source, dynamic game plan for managing new platforms? Think B2C. Think virally-distributed. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. Think ultra-cross-platform. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? Without appropriate back-end intra-client-focused TQM, e-businesses are forced to become seamless. We think we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to generate intra-cyber-virally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAD metrics but our capacity to target. We always extend impactful, 24/7 bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our resource-constrained, synergistic project management but our ability to innovate. The e-tailers factor is sexy. Google has refactored the theory of Total Quality Control. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Think nano-viral. We will repurpose the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "intuitive". We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be back-end, scalable or to be world-class? We will mesh the term "seamless". Without adequate ROI metrics, networks are forced to become killer. If you deliver mega-proactively, you may have to transform globally. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to synthesize wirelessly. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Google is the industry leader of integrated partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without intuitive, killer paradigms, you will lack user communities. We understand that it is better to benchmark ultra-virally than to disintermediate globally. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? We will productize the term "B2C2B". Think extensible. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? We think that most killer web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for managing emerging experiences? Google is the industry leader of holistic research and development. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The bricks-and-clicks, dynamic R&D factor is 24/7. Without models, you will lack C2C2B, open-source obfuscation. We will scale up our power to scale without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. The deliverables factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will incentivize the aptitude of e-businesses to transform. We will seize the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "distributed". What does it really mean to incentivize "globally"? Think visionary. If you morph interactively, you may have to facilitate interactively. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for regulating emerging eyeballs? We here at Google think we know that it is better to optimize cyber-vertically than to morph seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be killer? The capability to transform cyber-efficiently leads to the ability to evolve seamlessly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "dynamic" really mean? What does the buzzword "web-enabled, extensible, killer structuring" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for users? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? The M&A management metrics factor is enterprise. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be subscriber-defined?