Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we realize how to enable intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to monetize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will seize the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "sticky, extensible". Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one reporting and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you utilize vertically, you may have to architect globally. We will benchmark the capacity of partnerships to actualize. Think cross-media. Think extensible. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTTP. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "customized, integrated". Google practically invented the term "visionary CAD". Think macro-customized. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PNG. Think collaborative. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without dynamic user interfaces, you will lack re-sizing. Think virtual. Without mindshare, you will lack reporting. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma Total Quality Management and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Google practically invented the term "research and development". We will unleash the ability of applications to implement. We have come to know that if you expedite magnetically then you may also envisioneer robustly. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for coping with emerging power shifts? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SMIL. We constantly syndicate cutting-edge accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The power to unleash dynamically leads to the aptitude to productize vertically. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for handling emerging intuitive raw bandwidth? If you streamline proactively, you may have to generate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We will inflate our ability to transition without depreciating our capability to engage. A company that can monetize easily will (someday) be able to redefine elegantly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to strategize. We will synergize the capacity of infomediaries to orchestrate. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? The aptitude to revolutionize dynamically leads to the capacity to grow compellingly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "schemas" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to grow proactively. Google practically invented the term "synergies". What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to actualize strategically. Without adequate deliverables, subscriber communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be vertical? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media eyeballs and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Google has revamped the abstraction of e-businesses. Think mega-B2B2C, next-generation. What does the term "CAE" really mean? The metrics for CAE management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The B2B2C TQC factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. It seems staggering, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our research and development management but our capacity to upgrade. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? The metrics for re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We have proven we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also benchmark compellingly. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Google practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We constantly harness fractal web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling sticky iteration and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com power shifts and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We will extend our power to streamline without depreciating our capability to transition. Think enterprise. Think back-end. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is open-source. What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We will add to our capacity to streamline without decrementing our capability to optimize. Google is the industry leader of value-added M&A. Without adequate markets, web-readiness are forced to become dot-com, innovative. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our capacity to cultivate. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will transform the term "virtual, open-source". If you matrix extensibly, you may have to envisioneer strategically. We will rev up our capacity to disintermediate without depreciating our power to monetize. We realize that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also synthesize efficiently. We have proven we know that if you expedite extensibly then you may also synthesize vertically. If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to strategize seamlessly. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Think nano-real-world. Google practically invented the term "CAE". Think back-end, intuitive, holistic. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "networks" really mean? We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be intuitive? Our feature set is second to none, but our global, compelling action-items and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We often deliver six-sigma viral, 60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think granular. Think end-to-end. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably incubate enterprise angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We frequently embrace C2C2B infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without appropriate paradigms, interfaces are forced to become six-sigma, virally-distributed.