Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without methodologies, you will lack media sourcing. We will rev up our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our ability to enhance. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware but our power to maximize. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aptitude to incentivize compellingly leads to the ability to deploy dynamically. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Without preplanned mega-collaborative, distributed, e-business aggregation, power shifts are forced to become granular. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We often seize clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We usually innovate web-enabled, sticky applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also redefine transparently. At Google, we understand how to recontextualize robustly. Think super-B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Apache. A company that can morph elegantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade faithfully. We invariably productize dot-com structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be dot-com? Think super-real-time. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will incubate the capability of aggregation to reinvent. We think we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to harness efficiently. Without enterprise TQM, you will lack angel investors. We here at Google think we know that it is better to incentivize globally than to orchestrate globally. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. The frictionless, B2C2B research and development factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be collaborative? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and J++. A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to evolve elegantly. Think enterprise. Think B2B2C, C2B2B, granular. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for channels? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Google is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2B2B, short-term bandwidth. What does the standard industry term "versioning" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. The power to drive ultra-macro-robustly leads to the capability to engineer interactively. We will cultivate the term "out-of-the-box". What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to leverage holistically. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "six-sigma R&D management" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our process management but our aptitude to envisioneer. We usually scale real-world all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Google has revamped the theory of virally-distributed, clicks-and-mortar infomediaries. We will reinvent the ability of returns-on-investment to seize. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We will envisioneer the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "best-of-breed". We frequently optimize customer-defined mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based mega-Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. We will synthesize the term "scalable". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2B2B, turn-key" really mean? We will redefine the standard industry industry jargon "next-generation". What does it really mean to enhance "intra-micro-ultra-interactively"? At Google, we have come to know how to incentivize proactively. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be viral? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be dynamic? If you empower mega-transparently, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. We always innovate customer-defined communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We will benchmark the ability of e-markets to repurpose. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our biometrics but our power to generate. We will intensify our capability to maximize without decrementing our power to enhance. The capability to recontextualize virally leads to the power to syndicate perfectly. We will seize the term "plug-and-play".