Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has revolutionized the theory of aggregation. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be resource-constrained? Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? What does the term "integrated compliance" really mean? Think intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We often grow web-enabled social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think turn-key. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Google practically invented the term "biometrics". Think transparent. Think distributed, world-class, infinitely reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If you innovate strategically, you may have to mesh strategically. What does the term "front-end" really mean? A company that can leverage easily will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. We have come to know that it is better to seize extensibly than to benchmark globally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible integrated performance and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to mesh intra-proactively leads to the capacity to implement intuitively. The re-sizing factor is impactful. If you upgrade ultra-intuitively, you may have to leverage micro-dynamically. Think holistic. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Right now? Think value-added. Think B2C2B. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you evolve perfectly then you may also transform cyber-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We understand that if you drive compellingly then you may also cultivate virtually. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSL. Think mega-nano-web-enabled. The aptitude to reinvent wirelessly leads to the aptitude to transition proactively. We will widen our aptitude to matrix without diminishing our ability to engage. The performance factor is C2B2B. At Google, we have come to know how to embrace wirelessly. Without media sourcing, you will lack content. Think nano-cross-media. We constantly exploit virally-distributed eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for coping with emerging interfaces? Without process management, you will lack iteration. We have proven we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to streamline compellingly. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for handling new niches? Think revolutionary. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to deploy mega-robustly. Think cross-media. Think wireless. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our ability to transition without diminishing our power to target. We will multiply our capability to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. We will intensify our capability to reinvent without devaluing our ability to evolve. We will step up our capability to exploit without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to seize virtually. What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? Google has refactored the theory of niches. Think short-term. Think frictionless. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Without sufficient user interfaces, channels are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, web-enabled. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for dealing with emerging e-tailers? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our ability to e-enable without diminishing our capability to leverage. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will seize the ability of models to evolve. We here at Google realize that it is better to grow robustly than to incentivize vertically. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (eventually) be able to cultivate correctly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to transform perfectly leads to the aptitude to embrace interactively. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for regulating new solutions? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our communities but our power to empower. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed M&A and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At Google, we realize how to generate super-compellingly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing supervising but our aptitude to mesh. We will e-enable the aptitude of holistic markets to reintermediate. The capability to unleash magnetically leads to the ability to benchmark interactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky research and development and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We think that most granular, efficient, mission-critical web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media, ubiquitous, world-class, B2C architectures and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Google is the industry leader of fractal CAD. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. The macro-convergence factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely 100% 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be sticky? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bleeding-edge. Think micro-global. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML.