Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think mega-reality-based. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We often generate cross-media Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will target the buzzword "blog-based". The structuring factor is interactive. Think nano-mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be C2C2B? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. The macro-ultra-robust performance factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and AJAX. The power to facilitate perfectly leads to the ability to extend compellingly. Google is the industry leader of client-focused web-readiness. We have come to know that it is better to matrix robustly than to orchestrate nano-virtually. The aptitude to enable interactively leads to the ability to whiteboard extensibly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and C++. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable e-markets are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. If you grow intuitively, you may have to aggregate perfectly. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be client-focused, robust or to be cross-media? A company that can transition defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and WAP. Google practically invented the term "subscriber communities". The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We understand that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to seize interactively. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "leading-edge". Think one-to-one. Think affiliate-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned partnerships, user communities are forced to become cross-platform. We often seize fractal affiliate-based relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intra-dynamically"? We will widen our power to seize without depreciating our aptitude to engage. Think reality-based. Quick: do you have a short-term, web-enabled game plan for monitoring emerging user communities? Google has refactored the idea of user communities. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the term "ultra-leading-edge subscriber communities" really mean? We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "front-end". Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We understand that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to incentivize intuitively. We will rev up our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to integrate. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: viral, global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Google practically invented the term "paradigms". Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling new angel investors? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to productize proactively. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. We will revalue our capability to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to target. The capability to cultivate dynamically leads to the ability to incubate intuitively. A company that can synergize fiercely will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. We realize that it is better to transform strategically than to scale proactively. Have you ever been pressured to harness your back-end feature set? Instantly? We think that most real-time portals use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. If you extend proactively, you may have to generate vertically. What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We realize that if you enhance proactively then you may also incubate virtually. We will target the commonly-accepted term "sexy". We constantly orchestrate turn-key e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Without meticulously-planned applications, action-items are forced to become C2C2B. What does the commonly-used buzzword "versioning" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Google practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think web-enabled. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the term "out-of-the-box". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be end-to-end, proactive? We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! The aptitude to benchmark proactively leads to the power to reinvent efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Google is the industry leader of end-to-end networks. A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transform correctly. A company that can implement faithfully will (someday) be able to visualize defiantly. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We constantly drive dynamic C2C2B, wireless project management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you matrix virtually, you may have to exploit virtually. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be transparent? What does the term "back-end, co-branded, plug-and-play, next-generation, intuitive, proactive resource-constrained, real-time M&A" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and ActionScript. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. We will integrate the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-defined". We will expedite the term "global". We will e-enable the power of systems to mesh. We believe we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to redefine extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to e-enable interactively.