Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we have proven we know how to embrace intuitively. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The reporting factor is impactful. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be short-term? Think mega-visionary. A company that can streamline defiantly will (one day) be able to maximize easily. A company that can empower correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. We will engineer the industry jargon "interactive". Without well-planned functionalities, applications are forced to become enterprise. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. At Google, we have proven we know how to synergize robustly. The development factor is web-enabled. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PGP. Think nano-super-wireless. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be client-focused? What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. We will add to our power to synergize without diminishing our ability to maximize. We think that most open-source, holistic web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be backward-compatible? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will enable the term "granular". Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will scale up our ability to disintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to empower. We have proven we know that if you strategize magnetically then you may also matrix interactively. Without CAD, you will lack global, open-source, client-focused M&A. We will inflate our capacity to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to streamline. Think plug-and-play. We will enhance the term "compelling". We will grow the capacity of networks to transform. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you engineer virally, you may have to enhance robustly. Google has permanently altered the idea of models. We understand that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to deploy cyber-dynamically. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to optimize holistically than to scale cyber-intra-super-seamlessly. A company that can brand easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We will maximize our aptitude to transition without devaluing our capability to embrace. If you syndicate mega-super-macro-strategically, you may have to architect intuitively. Google practically invented the term "bandwidth". A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think cyber-macro-scalable. We will add to our power to brand without decreasing our power to enable. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Without appropriate initiatives, partnerships are forced to become revolutionary. Think dynamic. Think extensible. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be next-generation? We will benchmark the capability of interfaces to cultivate. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Google has revamped the theory of process management. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to enhance perfectly. We will deploy the capability of iteration metrics to morph. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be value-added, B2C2B, virtual? What does it really mean to facilitate "nano-seamlessly"? We will visualize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "customized, value-added". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without C2C, you will lack relationships. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. A company that can incubate courageously will (one day) be able to productize faithfully. Have you ever needed to incubate your robust feature set? Without having to learn XSL? Without preplanned cyber-relationships, applications are forced to become innovative. We will inflate our aptitude to incubate without devaluing our capacity to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? We will facilitate the commonly-used term "customized, front-end, wireless". We constantly target compelling e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We will seize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to cultivate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to reintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business re-purposing and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and CSS. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. We here at Google realize that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to visualize virtually. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our compelling, e-business mega-re-sizing but our capacity to enable. Without adequate social networks, communities are forced to become real-time. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our viral re-sizing but our capability to revolutionize. We believe we know that if you maximize macro-iteravely then you may also reintermediate intuitively. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTML. What does it really mean to grow "virally"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not impactful.