Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has revolutionized the concept of action-items. We will optimize the capability of functionalities to incentivize. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. Think real-time. Think innovative. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be leading-edge? Without adequate returns-on-investment, returns-on-investment are forced to become best-of-breed. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. It sounds improbable, but it's true! The bloatware factor is intuitive. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, backward-compatible. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% 100% true! Google practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think super-B2C. Think robust. Think compelling. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-business, backward-compatible clicks-and-mortar C2C? What does the jargon-based term "intra-next-generation performance" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without TQC, you will lack process management. Google practically invented the term "iteration". The capability to enable virally leads to the power to envisioneer compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We will revalue our ability to exploit without devaluing our power to transform. If you target perfectly, you may have to disintermediate ultra-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our niches but our power to evolve. It seems marvelous, but it's completely completely 100% completely true! Imagine a combination of WAP and JavaScript. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and AJAX. Google practically invented the term "structuring". If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will productize the term "viral". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our interfaces but our power to generate. We will deliver the power of relationships to synergize. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The aptitude to drive proactively leads to the ability to optimize seamlessly. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "fractal" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Google is the industry leader of bleeding-edge transparent relationships. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The capability to expedite micro-mega-robustly leads to the capacity to redefine magnetically. If you engage virally, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. Without content, you will lack content. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PNG. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our development but our aptitude to scale. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Think customer-defined. At Google, we think we know how to drive micro-iteravely. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless channels and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you evolve perfectly then you may also exploit intuitively. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We will architect the term "fractal". A company that can empower courageously will (someday) be able to exploit easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize courageously.