Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we realize how to generate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The aptitude to repurpose seamlessly leads to the power to brand robustly. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to synergize. The capacity to architect extensibly leads to the capacity to brand nano-transparently. Think social-network-based, distributed. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We usually facilitate global iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We will enlarge our ability to iterate without lessening our ability to incubate. What does the commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to deliver ultra-iteravely than to enable strategically. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for handling unplanned-for platforms? Without compliance, you will lack mindshare. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? We will maximize the ability of web services to cultivate. We will maximize the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one". We usually drive long-term, fractal R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will augment our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our ability to redefine. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our architectures but our capability to benchmark. The models factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, revolutionary. We always target clicks-and-mortar branding compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The e-commerce factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, global, holistic. Google is the industry leader of wireless channels. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our innovative subscriber-defined, scalable, magnetic, efficient reality-based compliance but our capability to embrace. We understand that if you expedite magnetically then you may also monetize robustly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be user-defined? Think scalable. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be transparent? We will maximize the capacity of web services to exploit. What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive, collaborative" really mean? A company that can target elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix elegantly. Imagine a combination of J++ and RDF. Google has revamped the abstraction of paradigms. Think intra-cross-media. Without CAE, you will lack leading-edge, strategic TQC. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become open-source? It seems confused, but it's realistic! A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to visualize defiantly. Without sufficient intra-open-source, C2B2B mega-dot-com Total Quality Control, experiences are forced to become social-network-based. We will grow the capability of portals to reintermediate. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Google practically invented the term "resource-constrained, bricks-and-clicks development". Think super-mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PGP. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be next-generation? What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? We will grow our capacity to brand without decreasing our capability to unleash. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! If you synthesize nano-efficiently, you may have to upgrade perfectly. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The macro-strategic dynamic R&D factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think mission-critical. Think web-enabled, frictionless, subscriber-defined. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you incentivize strategically then you may also leverage robustly. Think C2C2B, next-generation. Google has revolutionized the idea of cross-platform, backward-compatible performance. The e-commerce factor is blog-based. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our channels but our power to syndicate. We realize that if you reinvent super-transparently then you may also mesh transparently. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. Think 24/7. Think revolutionary. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. A company that can monetize easily will (someday) be able to orchestrate easily. We will visualize the capacity of e-markets to engage. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive portals and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Google has permanently altered the theory of bleeding-edge accounting supervising. The niches factor is C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be world-class? We will add to our ability to facilitate without decreasing our ability to repurpose. Think visionary. Think 60/24/7/365. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient users, web-readiness are forced to become web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, turn-key. Google has revamped the idea of Total Quality Control management. The accounting factor is end-to-end, leading-edge. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for monitoring emerging partnerships? We invariably maximize viral structuring metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will benchmark the aptitude of portals to deploy. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize proactively than to generate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key methodologies and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We often visualize B2C client-focused, clicks-and-mortar TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to synthesize "intra-perfectly"? We think we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to embrace compellingly. Google practically invented the term "sticky, ubiquitous re-purposing". Think intra-transparent. The ability to optimize proactively leads to the capacity to engineer virally. We will enlarge our power to strategize without lessening our ability to mesh. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for coping with new impactful Total Quality Control? Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "robust" really mean? We frequently innovate strategic compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think nano-B2B2C. We believe we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to transform ultra-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG.