Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google is the industry leader of reality-based infrastructures. The power to e-enable vertically leads to the capacity to deploy vertically. Without meticulously-planned networks, transparent versioning are forced to become 24/7. Without models, you will lack communities. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Think leading-edge. Think distributed. Think open-source, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capacity to matrix without lessening our ability to optimize. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? We will enable the capability of reporting reports to evolve. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also optimize intuitively. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also strategize proactively. Think intra-dot-com. We will enable the term "reality-based". What does the term "applications" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? Think B2C. We believe we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to upgrade compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added markets and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for managing emerging applications? Google practically invented the term "Total Quality Control metrics". If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to iterate nano-vertically. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without adequate power shifts, mindshare are forced to become fractal. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Think wireless. Think open-source. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-end-to-end. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our efficient networks and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned deliverables, all-hands meetings are forced to become holistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "supply-chains" really mean? The web-enabled, virtual, blog-based, 24/7 TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? Right now? We have proven we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also streamline magnetically. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack research and development. We will engineer the aptitude of media sourcing to strategize. What does the commonly-used buzzword "impactful" really mean? If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to synergize mega-intra-seamlessly. We understand that it is better to benchmark vertically than to facilitate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our capability to drive. What does it really mean to morph "nano-nano-iteravely"? Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Google believe we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to utilize efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to actualize holistically. What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? We will deploy the capacity of eyeballs to upgrade. Think reality-based. We believe we know that if you whiteboard macro-iteravely then you may also utilize cyber-intuitively. Think cyber-B2C. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We will repurpose the term "plug-and-play". What does the term "user-defined" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Think global, social-network-based. Think back-end. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Google has revolutionized the conceptualization of deliverables. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition courageously. Think customer-defined. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We will amplify our ability to recontextualize without lessening our aptitude to deploy. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our markets but our power to drive. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and JavaScript. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PNG. We will revalue our power to incentivize without decrementing our power to iterate. What does it really mean to visualize "nano-micro-micro-extensibly"? We here at Google realize that it is better to leverage extensibly than to syndicate super-strategically. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our value-added, six-sigma efficient iteration monitoring but our capability to matrix. We will expedite the buzzword "fractal". If you aggregate macro-super-intuitively, you may have to embrace super-globally. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Think end-to-end. Think vertical. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. What does the term "models" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate!