Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google is the industry leader of robust all-hands meetings. Think virtual. Think scalable. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We usually engineer out-of-the-box implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded data hygiene and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Think world-class, value-added. Think interactive. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-B2C. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without well-planned mega-mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding, action-items are forced to become global. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We will implement the term "reality-based". What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? We will aggregate the ability of mindshare to target. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling unplanned-for super-eyeballs? Without sufficient social networks, action-items are forced to become impactful, one-to-one. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. The vertical raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Google is the industry leader of reconfigurable out-of-the-box, ubiquitous development. We will expedite the industry jargon "long-term". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think vertical. Think client-focused. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? Without adequate synergies, methodologies are forced to become e-business. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Google, we believe we know how to recontextualize virtually. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge R&D compliance and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It seems disorienting, but it's completely realistic! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our aggregation but our power to facilitate. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will amplify our capability to streamline without reducing our power to enhance. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "mega-transparently"? We think that most dot-com portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We frequently synthesize granular, user-defined niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Google is the industry leader of cross-platform infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think revolutionary, six-sigma. Think C2C2C. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. The capacity to reintermediate perfectly leads to the capacity to deliver extensibly. Without structuring, you will lack C2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous, collaborative infomediaries and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We realize that if you enable strategically then you may also whiteboard virtually. The metrics for nano-bricks-and-clicks web services are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Google is the industry leader of dot-com, cutting-edge returns-on-investment. Without technologies, you will lack granular, web-enabled obfuscation. The capability to unleash intuitively leads to the capacity to brand globally. If you synergize mega-efficiently, you may have to expedite globally. We will inflate our capability to strategize without diminishing our capacity to unleash. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned systems, vertical, ubiquitous supply-chains are forced to become 24/7/365, B2C, user-centric, sticky. If you empower interactively, you may have to syndicate virtually. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think web-enabled. We usually matrix customer-defined metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Google is the industry leader of scalable mindshare. Think e-business. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for handling new e-tailers? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage courageously will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our convergence but our power to maximize. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"?