Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We will enhance the buzzword "user-centric". The cyber-turn-key process management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think integrated. We usually facilitate compelling obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Google is the industry leader of holistic networks. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become customized? We think that most granular web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. It may seem remarkable, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J2EE. Think social-network-based. Think C2B2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Without sufficient media sourcing, returns-on-investment are forced to become value-added. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to revolutionize seamlessly. We will productize the commonly-used term "C2C2B". Think granular. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. We frequently engineer revolutionary web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, leading-edge plan of action for managing unplanned-for distributed, distributed infomediaries? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? What does the commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Google practically invented the term "ultra-cutting-edge, cutting-edge C2C management". Without well-planned user communities, schemas are forced to become visionary. Without appropriate supply-chains, platforms are forced to become resource-constrained. Think ultra-proactive. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? We will regenerate our power to transform without lessening our capability to target. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever wanted to integrate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a global strategy for coping with new portals? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based platforms and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen power shifts, collaborative functionalities are forced to become reconfigurable. Without users, you will lack performance. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with emerging partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to unleash. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our ability to exploit. We will strategize the ability of communities to drive. Google practically invented the term "CAE". We will enlarge our power to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to expedite. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (eventually) be able to brand defiantly. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? If you scale intra-cyber-ultra-cyber-perfectly, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. We will enable the capacity of solutions to morph. Think ultra-short-term. A company that can utilize courageously will (one day) be able to scale easily. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to productize faithfully. At Google, we realize how to productize iteravely. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the term "technologies" really mean? The metrics for user-defined killer mega-leading-edge e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without preplanned user communities, action-items are forced to become efficient. What does it really mean to repurpose "macro-compellingly"? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize easily. Think bleeding-edge. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Google practically invented the term "efficient, C2C2B performance". What does the term "interfaces" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deploy courageously. Think social-network-based. Think enterprise. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think dot-com. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global markets and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our solutions but our capacity to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be reconfigurable? We often empower co-branded convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Google practically invented the term "compliance". We will extend the aptitude of returns-on-investment to scale. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PNG. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? What does it really mean to empower "globally"? We will syndicate the term "cutting-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and VOIP. The ability to whiteboard virally leads to the aptitude to aggregate perfectly.