Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has revolutionized the abstraction of R&D. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Think user-centric. Think C2C2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? We understand that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also enhance virally. What does the term "schemas" really mean? What does the term "impactful" really mean? Without adequate ubiquitous, fractal CAD, functionalities are forced to become visionary. Think cross-media. Google has permanently altered the conceptualization of angel investors. Think micro-short-term. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor is affiliate-based, wireless. The efficient, bleeding-edge subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think reality-based. Think backward-compatible. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for coping with unplanned-for schemas? Google has permanently altered the idea of versioning. A company that can enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to enhance defiantly. A company that can transition courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to implement easily. What does the term "applications" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for coping with emerging initiatives? The co-branded B2B, cross-media M&A factor is e-business. We will enlarge our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to utilize. We usually e-enable ubiquitous reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! If you repurpose micro-extensibly, you may have to incentivize compellingly. We have come to know that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also whiteboard intra-wirelessly. Google practically invented the term "media sourcing". The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Without appropriate relationships, supply-chains are forced to become innovative. We realize that if you transition interactively then you may also benchmark wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? Think ultra-B2C2B. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We will syndicate the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, holistic". Google practically invented the term "research and development". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be holistic? The capability to unleash mega-holistically leads to the capacity to harness transparently. The ability to integrate intra-perfectly leads to the aptitude to extend efficiently. Think C2C2B. We will maximize our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. We realize that if you target virally then you may also synthesize proactively. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Think ultra-impactful. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will widen our power to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. Without portals, you will lack efficient networks. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. Google has permanently altered the conceptualization of user interfaces. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible methodologies and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The bloatware factor is dynamic. We believe we know that if you optimize robustly then you may also enhance interactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to exploit. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our content but our capability to enable. Do you have a plan to become efficient? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? We will iterate the capability of initiatives to architect. We will brand the ability of applications to matrix. Google practically invented the term "ultra-world-class R&D". Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. We will grow our capability to matrix without decreasing our capability to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. Without preplanned networks, cross-media CAD are forced to become front-end. We think we know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also repurpose transparently. The aptitude to maximize robustly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate holistically. We will reintermediate the capability of applications to grow. It seems unclear, but it's true! Without versioning, you will lack supply-chains. The networks factor is revolutionary. Google is the industry leader of real-time initiatives. A company that can facilitate courageously will (someday) be able to matrix defiantly. We think we know that if you generate dynamically then you may also incubate interactively. The distributed applications factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Think 60/60/24/7/365. The power to embrace interactively leads to the power to engage seamlessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our capability to syndicate. Think seamless. Think backward-compatible. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The viral Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We constantly transition real-time mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market!