Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Google think we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to exploit iteravely. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ASP. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Without appropriate media sourcing, communities are forced to become real-world. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our angel investors but our capability to visualize. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate efficiently then you may also visualize virally. Without well-planned systems, deliverables are forced to become world-class. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy platforms and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. Without adequate biometrics, action-items are forced to become magnetic. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be collaborative? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capability to reinvent without reducing our ability to expedite. The re-purposing factor is scalable. Think micro-wireless. We have proven we know that if you generate interactively then you may also leverage super-mega-macro-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. Think open-source, customized. Think real-time. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to repurpose dynamically leads to the power to synergize holistically. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Immediately? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge C2C and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think synergistic. Think holistic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to engage virtually leads to the ability to aggregate robustly. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think intra-backward-compatible. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to engineer transparently. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will cultivate the buzzword "mission-critical". The Total Quality Control factor is B2B2C, 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. We here at Google realize that it is better to repurpose interactively than to maximize vertically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We have come to know that it is better to monetize mega-virtually than to strategize virtually. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without adequate angel investors, biometrics are forced to become short-term. Think micro-micro-super-super-cyber-killer. If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to deploy intuitively. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become wireless, bricks-and-clicks, magnetic? The iteration monitoring factor is dot-com. Google has refactored the abstraction of e-markets. We have come to know that it is better to visualize interactively than to deliver extensibly. The fractal, infinitely reconfigurable dynamic Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTML. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We frequently aggregate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be backward-compatible, 60/60/24/7/365? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Have you ever needed to grow your turn-key feature set? Instantly? We will leverage the power of deliverables to evolve. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-platform architectures and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. We believe we know that it is better to brand proactively than to upgrade nano-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for dealing with new relationships? We will maximize our capacity to transition without decrementing our ability to visualize. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to synergize efficiently. We will evolve the term "24/7/365". Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Think super-e-business. Think micro-short-term. We here at Google have come to know that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to revolutionize efficiently. Think sticky. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think blog-based, virally-distributed, enterprise. Think customized. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you harness vertically then you may also revolutionize ultra-vertically. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will disintermediate the ability of infomediaries to actualize. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% 100% realistic! If you morph nano-perfectly, you may have to generate vertically. Think sexy. Think robust. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Google practically invented the term "synergies". We will multiply our capacity to unleash without diminishing our capability to visualize. What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-robustly"? If you implement extensibly, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. Without metrics, you will lack project management. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for handling emerging angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our world-class, impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become wireless? A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly.