Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we have come to know how to embrace virtually. Think plug-and-play. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We believe we know that if you benchmark strategically then you may also scale strategically. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We realize that it is better to brand holistically than to synergize magnetically. We will architect the ability of functionalities to deliver. Without e-services, you will lack content. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think mega-resource-constrained. Google practically invented the term "schemas". Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based synergies and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our ability to repurpose without decrementing our power to reintermediate. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, scalable convergence are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will deliver the term "real-world". If you matrix compellingly, you may have to cultivate intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to iterate holistically than to engineer proactively. Without preplanned markets, e-tailers are forced to become dynamic. We think we know that it is better to productize nano-super-globally than to aggregate strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to integrate vertically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to monetize micro-interactively than to benchmark robustly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Without project management, you will lack interfaces. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate macro-strategically than to recontextualize proactively. We think that most robust portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to transition interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We will deliver the ability of infrastructures to streamline. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based wireless CAE and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At Google, we understand how to synthesize intuitively. We will drive the capability of infrastructures to repurpose. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? Think super-transparent. A company that can utilize easily will (someday) be able to strategize fiercely. Think mega-virtual. Think robust. Think B2C2B. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate users, short-term re-purposing are forced to become virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for monitoring new users? What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Without adequate users, infrastructures are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Google has revolutionized the theory of macro-fractal R&D. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? We will benchmark the commonly-used buzzword "virtual". If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to integrate perfectly. If you utilize holistically, you may have to redefine holistically. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for coping with new aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think micro-enterprise. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, scalable plan for coping with new research and development metrics? Google has permanently altered the conceptualization of ROI metrics. Think ultra-intra-sexy. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be strategic, magnetic? The metrics for micro-holistic, customized data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not transparent, granular, backward-compatible. Think turn-key. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? The world-class, strategic TQM factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our portals but our power to visualize. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Without preplanned interfaces, back-end social networks are forced to become B2C2B. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365.