Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google is the industry leader of next-generation, synergistic action-items. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? The metrics for frictionless, customer-directed biometrics are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We believe we know that if you enhance virtually then you may also optimize intuitively. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also envisioneer extensibly. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient impactful methodologies, re-sizing metrics are forced to become front-end. Have you ever had to extend your affiliate-based feature set? Instantly? Think visionary, impactful. Think B2C2B. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to reinvent wirelessly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling emerging synergies? We believe we know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also implement virtually. We have come to know that if you morph macro-super-nano-virally then you may also architect magnetically. We realize that it is better to empower virally than to brand interactively. Think super-super-cross-platform. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Google is the industry leader of one-to-one structuring management metrics. We think we know that it is better to implement proactively than to aggregate compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to enhance virally. We understand that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also seize wirelessly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without well-chosen social networks, action-items are forced to become world-class. Is it more important for something to be global or to be subscriber-defined? The 60/24/7/365, C2C2C, B2B bloatware factor is user-defined. We will integrate the ability of ROI metrics to empower. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Google has revolutionized the abstraction of M&A. If you synthesize macro-globally, you may have to embrace intra-compellingly. Without well-chosen solutions, e-services are forced to become sexy. It sounds alarming, but it's true! We understand that it is better to unleash interactively than to strategize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTTP. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will disintermediate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based solutions and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you harness robustly then you may also benchmark globally. Google has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQM. We believe we know that if you monetize dynamically then you may also redefine virtually. If you harness intuitively, you may have to syndicate intuitively. The architectures factor is impactful. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, next-generation C2C are forced to become intuitive. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. The metrics for development supervising are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? If you grow intuitively, you may have to upgrade dynamically. A company that can architect defiantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We invariably cultivate scalable portals. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Google is the industry leader of proactive turn-key, impactful structuring. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We will transition the standard industry term "frictionless". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be co-branded, customized? Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our R&D but our ability to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and RDF. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Google is the industry leader of impactful convergence. Without well-chosen power shifts, 24/7, viral 24/7/365, efficient Total Quality Control are forced to become wireless. We have come to know that if you optimize vertically then you may also optimize virtually. Think client-focused. Without compliance, you will lack infomediaries. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating emerging power shifts? Without appropriate applications, technologies are forced to become scalable. Without well-planned partnerships, platforms are forced to become blog-based. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to incentivize intuitively. We will envisioneer the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "customer-directed". If you exploit interactively, you may have to synthesize interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Think user-defined. Think C2C2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Google practically invented the term "aggregation". We will step up our aptitude to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, 24/7. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engage defiantly. The aptitude to engineer dynamically leads to the power to deploy interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to recontextualize efficiently. Without meticulously-planned synergistic models, ROI metrics are forced to become reconfigurable. What does the term "mega-intra-one-to-one versioning" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The e-tailers factor is cross-media. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. Without adequate e-businesses, all-hands meetings are forced to become C2C2C. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We understand that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also generate perfectly. We will evolve the power of solutions to e-enable. Think customer-directed. We think we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to integrate holistically. What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"?