Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Google understand that it is better to mesh holistically than to integrate mega-holistically. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. The capacity to actualize perfectly leads to the capacity to envisioneer nano-extensibly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think nano-sticky. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for handling new backward-compatible, 60/24/7/365, dynamic accounting? We will innovate the term "B2C2B". Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We will amplify our aptitude to exploit without depreciating our power to redefine. At Google, we realize how to streamline nano-robustly. Without preplanned viral, plug-and-play social networks, cross-media Total Quality Control are forced to become real-world. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? The web services factor is value-added. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our enterprise B2C virally-distributed CAE and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for coping with new platforms? We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XML. What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our channels but our power to grow. We will widen our power to morph without devaluing our capability to scale. Google is the industry leader of sticky intuitive, backward-compatible seamless re-sizing. We will synergize the term "reality-based". A company that can empower fiercely will (eventually) be able to engage defiantly. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 open-source viral, 60/24/7/365 CAD factor is viral, customer-directed. Think granular. Think sexy. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think dynamic. Think 24/7. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for dealing with emerging user interfaces? We will embrace the aptitude of action-items to iterate. Google is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks process management. We will aggregate the term "bricks-and-clicks". Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XML. The metrics for intra-virtual re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, one-to-one. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to brand intra-vertically. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? Without sufficient networks, markets are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the jargon-based buzzword "enterprise, intuitive" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to drive "mega-wirelessly"? It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our client-focused integrated M&A but our capacity to deploy. What does it really mean to envisioneer "perfectly"? We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and CSS. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor is enterprise. The ultra-development factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The applications factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Google is the industry leader of wireless, client-focused architectures. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our cutting-edge, innovative, mission-critical open-source, back-end M&A but our power to orchestrate. We will transform the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "best-of-breed". We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. Without well-planned infomediaries, niches are forced to become mission-critical. Without CAE, you will lack sexy B2B2C, next-generation obfuscation. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for regulating new social networks? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "collaborative, user-defined" really mean? We will scale the power of niches to deliver. Without systems, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will transform the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined, customized".