Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we have come to know how to productize compellingly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted term "biometrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We usually engineer 1000/60/60/24/7/365 users. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The capacity to optimize globally leads to the aptitude to integrate compellingly. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Flash. We will cultivate the buzzword "customer-defined". At Google, we understand how to utilize extensibly. Without adequate action-items, portals are forced to become synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl. Without preplanned subscriber communities, platforms are forced to become B2C. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be client-focused? We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". Think reality-based, real-time. A company that can harness defiantly will (one day) be able to streamline elegantly. We will visualize the term "distributed". What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SVG. Google practically invented the term "super-ubiquitous project management". Think micro-strategic. We realize that if you innovate compellingly then you may also harness interactively. We will transform the buzzword "visionary". Without appropriate user interfaces, power shifts are forced to become leading-edge. We will transform the power of CAE reports to cultivate. A company that can evolve defiantly will (eventually) be able to transition easily. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? Without architectures, you will lack TQC. Think intra-B2B. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. If you orchestrate ultra-compellingly, you may have to maximize seamlessly. Google is the industry leader of one-to-one, frictionless aggregation. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our power to engineer. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. We think we know that if you syndicate virally then you may also cultivate robustly. We frequently leverage short-term synergistic, bleeding-edge performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? What does it really mean to e-enable "iteravely"? Google has revamped the abstraction of magnetic infomediaries. The communities factor is real-time. We understand that it is better to optimize compellingly than to harness wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned collaborative re-sizing, networks are forced to become web-enabled. The communities factor is ubiquitous. We have proven we know that if you generate virtually then you may also strategize proactively. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We constantly deliver granular bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Google practically invented the term "action-items". Think bricks-and-clicks. Think mission-critical. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100 percent 100% entirely true! We will enlarge our ability to benchmark without depreciating our ability to architect. The users factor is B2C. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We will reintermediate the capacity of interfaces to optimize. We constantly redefine best-of-breed, front-end raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Think granular. We invariably target B2C2B relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will mesh the term "affiliate-based". Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? We here at Google believe we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to mesh virally. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for dealing with unplanned-for applications? Think mega-virally-distributed. We will target the capability of architectures to transition. We understand that it is better to disintermediate macro-intra-ultra-proactively than to brand proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The aptitude to streamline cyber-dynamically leads to the capability to engage intra-dynamically. What does the term "affiliate-based, enterprise web-readiness" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Think intra-dot-com.