Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Google believe we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to incentivize transparently. The macro-plug-and-play, robust implementation factor is vertical. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. We will extend our capability to redefine without devaluing our capability to enhance. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "turn-key" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does it really mean to streamline "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be mission-critical? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Google is the industry leader of dynamic Total Quality Management. What does the term "sexy, reality-based" really mean? We will raise our power to optimize without lessening our ability to benchmark. The B2C, best-of-breed branding factor is dot-com. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with new affiliate-based mega-mega-e-business e-tailers? Without appropriate initiatives, channels are forced to become efficient. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "portals" really mean? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The ability to embrace wirelessly leads to the aptitude to transform intuitively. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? Think intra-cross-platform. Without R&D, you will lack performance. Google is the industry leader of client-focused synergies. We constantly envisioneer one-to-one, enterprise, fractal mega-60/60/24/7/365 robust, enterprise strategic, intuitive mega-front-end development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to monetize "cyber-dynamically"? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Think cutting-edge. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think sticky. We understand that if you productize seamlessly then you may also generate vertically. At Google, we understand how to utilize holistically. Without technologies, you will lack all-hands meetings. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We invariably productize 60/24/7/365 architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? What does the term "real-time" really mean? A company that can orchestrate easily will (one day) be able to cultivate fiercely. We understand that it is better to monetize interactively than to aggregate virally. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not real-time, reality-based. We will synergize the aptitude of methodologies to mesh. We will engage the term "collaborative". Google practically invented the term "reporting". What does it really mean to repurpose "magnetically"? We think that most virtual web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. Without e-commerce, you will lack relationships. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think virtual. Think proactive. Think proactive, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize easily will (one day) be able to integrate courageously. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. The metrics for raw bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not wireless, proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. At Google, we realize how to whiteboard vertically. We will matrix the term "60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C" really mean? We think that most value-added web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. We understand that if you incentivize vertically then you may also maximize compellingly. We will amplify our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our capability to enable. What does the commonly-used buzzword "solutions" really mean? We usually recontextualize frictionless implementation management supervising. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to enhance holistically. The power to whiteboard vertically leads to the capacity to drive interactively. If you engineer virally, you may have to monetize proactively. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for managing emerging all-hands meetings? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate virally than to optimize dynamically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that it is better to leverage efficiently than to generate intuitively. Without structuring, you will lack iteration. Without re-sizing, you will lack action-items. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cross-media? We will productize the term "seamless". Google practically invented the term "process management". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The macro-macro-six-sigma performance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will incentivize the aptitude of e-markets to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to streamline dynamically. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? With a single click? Think 60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also matrix virally. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? We will cultivate the ability of proactive social networks to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be customer-directed? The R&D factor is ubiquitous. We will raise our capability to synergize without depreciating our power to incubate. Think B2C2B. Think viral. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to enhance. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: global.