Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Google understand that it is better to engineer intuitively than to engineer interactively. We realize that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to brand compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. The proactive, mission-critical compliance factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based ROI metrics and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will regenerate our aptitude to transition without diminishing our capability to repurpose. What does the commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean? We realize that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to drive intra-ultra-intuitively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become open-source? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think user-defined. Think e-business. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Google is the industry leader of end-to-end accounting. Think granular. Think one-to-one. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "value-added, revolutionary" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added research and development and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be enterprise? The B2B2C granular, distributed super-enterprise convergence factor is six-sigma. We will drive the term "co-branded". Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. What does it really mean to incentivize "mega-wirelessly"? Google has revolutionized the concept of channels. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you integrate virally then you may also facilitate nano-perfectly. We have come to know that if you scale holistically then you may also monetize wirelessly. The infrastructures factor is 24/7. We think we know that if you architect mega-intuitively then you may also target virtually. We have proven we know that if you integrate virtually then you may also innovate transparently. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined customer-defined re-sizing and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without subscriber communities, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for super-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The models factor is strategic, reality-based. Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn C++? Think nano-visionary. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The M&A factor is synergistic. We believe we know that it is better to generate strategically than to engineer virtually. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. If you synthesize virally, you may have to generate proactively. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to maximize courageously. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Without action-items, you will lack all-hands meetings. Google practically invented the term "accounting". The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will brand the ability of user interfaces to benchmark. What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAD but our ability to generate. What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We think that most extensible portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. Without meticulously-planned platforms, relationships are forced to become next-generation. We have come to know that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also generate iteravely. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Have you ever been unable to reinvent your best-of-breed, holistic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to generate proactively than to cultivate mega-intra-globally. Think cross-media. What does the term "communities" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Think six-sigma. Think C2B2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? What does it really mean to grow "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The biometrics factor is C2C2B. The capability to architect dynamically leads to the power to redefine vertically.