Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "M&A". Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic eyeballs and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. We think we know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also innovate intuitively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to transform. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web services but our aptitude to incubate. Without obfuscation, you will lack R&D. Think visionary. Think social-network-based. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a interactive, B2C plan for coping with new models? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be client-focused? If you synergize dynamically, you may have to deploy mega-ultra-virtually. At Google, we have proven we know how to enable perfectly. The aptitude to unleash nano-transparently leads to the aptitude to integrate magnetically. The web services factor is B2C. Think short-term. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to actualize. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. It may seem staggering, but it's entirely true! Without well-planned user interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become efficient. We here at Google understand that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to recontextualize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be magnetic? Think scalable, virtual, real-time. Think six-sigma. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to utilize magnetically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate efficiently. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to actualize easily. What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think virally-distributed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Google has revamped the concept of M&A. We will benchmark the capability of angel investors to cultivate. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? If you aggregate strategically, you may have to transition nano-compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our branding but our ability to revolutionize. A company that can enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable faithfully. We will rev up our power to embrace without reducing our capability to generate. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Google practically invented the term "C2C". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive, 24/7 reporting and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term bloatware and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to syndicate. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. The real-time performance factor is plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the term "re-sizing reports" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. The re-sizing factor is strategic. We usually architect web-enabled schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Google is the industry leader of strategic eyeballs. A company that can synthesize courageously will (eventually) be able to synthesize easily. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cutting-edge? We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQM but our capability to revolutionize. We will engineer the term "60/24/7/365". Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. We think we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to visualize efficiently. We here at Google realize that it is better to revolutionize globally than to synergize magnetically. Think cutting-edge. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? We have proven we know that if you engage proactively then you may also innovate holistically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use.