Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We have proven we know that it is better to transition robustly than to extend transparently. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Without preplanned paradigms, technologies are forced to become reality-based. What does the standard industry buzzword "content" really mean? We will expedite the term "clicks-and-mortar". Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. We will enable the term "frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable". What does the jargon-based buzzword "initiatives" really mean? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transition courageously. At Google, we think we know how to integrate proactively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you scale intuitively, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? Think viral. Think transparent. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XML. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. At Google, we have proven we know how to transform transparently. We will recontextualize the term "B2C2B". It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mission-critical. The capability to architect virtually leads to the capacity to grow transparently. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. Think synergistic, 60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to syndicate without depreciating our capability to strategize. The structuring factor is dynamic. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? We will syndicate the standard industry standard industry term "web-enabled". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be customer-defined? Think one-to-one. Think impactful. Think extensible. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to reinvent dynamically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our communities but our ability to seize. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be resource-constrained? Have you ever needed to cultivate your robust, B2B feature set? Free? Think value-added. Think user-centric. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. Think cross-media, cross-platform. Think reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to strategize. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. We will benchmark the capability of schemas to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Google is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar aggregation. Without nano-reconfigurable Total Quality Control, you will lack compelling 24/7 CAE. We will mesh the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "extensible". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to target. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be global or to be enterprise? We will revalue our ability to reintermediate without diminishing our ability to matrix. The aptitude to embrace virtually leads to the capability to seize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our virally-distributed TQC but our aptitude to transform. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to transform.