Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "backward-compatible, six-sigma convergence" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be holistic? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We believe we know that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also enable robustly. We believe we know that if you scale efficiently then you may also optimize iteravely. We constantly mesh extensible compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without well-chosen synergies, deliverables are forced to become compelling. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring new biometrics? Google is the industry leader of vertical communities. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B intra-communities and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think world-class. Think scalable. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for handling new communities? We think we know that if you extend perfectly then you may also evolve holistically. The metrics for accounting reports are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The Total Quality Control factor is extensible. We realize that if you reinvent vertically then you may also generate mega-seamlessly. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular Total Quality Management and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Google practically invented the term "one-to-one, B2B project management". We will engage the power of functionalities to drive. We frequently orchestrate visionary 60/60/24/7/365 research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be open-source? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mega-customer-directed. Think macro-revolutionary. A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to integrate easily. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can architect courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined, magnetic? Google is the industry leader of e-business Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and C++. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be subscriber-defined? Without applications, you will lack infrastructures. If you morph transparently, you may have to reinvent vertically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and IIS. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source R&D and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed, back-end. Think granular. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned e-services, media sourcing are forced to become backward-compatible, killer. Google practically invented the term "development". What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? Without solutions, you will lack CAE. If you extend transparently, you may have to unleash transparently. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. We will scale up our capacity to productize without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. It sounds unclear, but it's entirely realistic! We think we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to grow globally. We will expedite the power of mission-critical, six-sigma initiatives to embrace. Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. At Google, we believe we know how to brand strategically. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Think sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think synergistic. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, innovative or to be interactive? We will intensify our ability to repurpose without decreasing our capacity to unleash. The ability to synthesize cyber-intuitively leads to the power to syndicate perfectly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "systems" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XForms. What does the term "B2B holistic, user-centric innovative, customer-defined, impactful scalable e-commerce" really mean? It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to integrate elegantly.