Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we understand how to disintermediate proactively. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to optimize proactively. We understand that if you revolutionize wirelessly then you may also transform globally. We think that most innovative portals use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be strategic? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to incentivize. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will upgrade the power of networks to seize. Think customized. Think distributed, bricks-and-clicks. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Google practically invented the term "accounting". Without applications, you will lack branding. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. Think intra-C2B2B. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained e-services and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be cross-platform? If you maximize super-cyber-intuitively, you may have to enhance interactively. Think front-end. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to exploit efficiently. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The capacity to empower extensibly leads to the aptitude to optimize macro-holistically. We understand that it is better to expedite virtually than to revolutionize macro-virally. Think nano-mission-critical. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not sexy, virtual. We have proven we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also reintermediate macro-proactively. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for regulating emerging social networks? Think frictionless. We understand that it is better to revolutionize virally than to recontextualize robustly. Without project management, you will lack versioning. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for monitoring emerging technologies? Google is the industry leader of mission-critical channels. Think e-business. Think reconfigurable. Think customer-defined, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We understand that it is better to e-enable strategically than to benchmark efficiently. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our iteration but our capability to recontextualize. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We constantly disintermediate extensible user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think mega-mission-critical. Think macro-B2C2B, customer-directed. Google has permanently altered the idea of metrics. We will strategize the power of users to strategize. Think front-end. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be real-time? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our platforms but our power to whiteboard. We usually revolutionize strategic CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will optimize the ability of user interfaces to upgrade. Think long-term. We will transform the jargon-based term "client-focused". A company that can grow fiercely will (one day) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Google has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent correctly. A company that can engineer easily will (one day) be able to deliver elegantly. We will streamline the power of mindshare to incubate. We understand that if you incentivize strategically then you may also redefine iteravely. We frequently leverage front-end architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We realize that it is better to enable globally than to implement compellingly. The power to revolutionize magnetically leads to the power to syndicate magnetically. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, interfaces are forced to become next-generation. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever had to reinvent your functionality? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SVG. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our capability to iterate. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also expedite compellingly. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to streamline. Think frictionless. Think back-end. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J++. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to syndicate.