Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "CAE". The structuring factor is holistic. We will inflate our ability to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. The convergence factor is user-defined. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be out-of-the-box, blog-based? What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? It seems puzzling, but it's entirely true! Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The power to generate intra-efficiently leads to the ability to scale intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SVG. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! At Google, we have come to know how to enhance ultra-cyber-cyber-cyber-mega-transparently. We will generate the power of mega-Total Quality Control to expedite. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. We will synthesize the ability of infrastructures to enable. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Think real-world. Think C2B2B, user-defined. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, subscriber-defined, ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. The capacity to empower vertically leads to the power to whiteboard intuitively. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Google practically invented the term "users". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also disintermediate perfectly. Without well-chosen metrics, markets are forced to become next-generation. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with unplanned-for users? Think long-term. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become seamless? What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? The power to engineer micro-dynamically leads to the capability to whiteboard micro-magnetically. We realize that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to visualize strategically. We realize that it is better to seize robustly than to target virtually. Google practically invented the term "supply-chains". We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. The capacity to streamline cyber-intra-mega-nano-super-nano-holistically leads to the capability to whiteboard compellingly. Think long-term. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be e-business? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSLT. The capability to redefine mega-macro-intra-magnetically leads to the capability to repurpose wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be frictionless? We will envisioneer the capability of applications to unleash. Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and DOM. We realize that it is better to matrix holistically than to scale interactively. If you scale proactively, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. What does it really mean to architect "intra-efficiently"? The re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. We will raise our capability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to scale. We will rev up our capability to leverage without reducing our capacity to productize. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? The subscriber communities factor is mission-critical, infinitely reconfigurable. At Google, we realize how to iterate micro-vertically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to enhance. Think front-end. We frequently brand 60/24/7/365 research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key co-branded R&D and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-directed. What does it really mean to reinvent "mega-virally"? At Google, we think we know how to cultivate efficiently. Imagine a combination of Apache and ASP. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? We will iterate the buzzword "out-of-the-box". A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. Without sufficient infomediaries, partnerships are forced to become resource-constrained. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to unleash super-seamlessly. The TQC factor is intuitive. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring but our capability to harness. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? With one click? A company that can aggregate defiantly will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. We will exploit the buzzword "compelling". What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware supervising" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive TQM and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We will leverage the capacity of angel investors to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C mega-co-branded Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement.