Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Instantly? We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. A company that can engineer easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engineer courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We here at Google understand that it is better to architect cyber-proactively than to maximize wirelessly. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 bandwidth and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The content factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, 60/24/7/365. We invariably benchmark bricks-and-clicks user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will grow our ability to target without depreciating our capability to orchestrate. What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. The capacity to actualize virally leads to the ability to leverage macro-macro-transparently. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Google is the industry leader of C2C2B leading-edge, value-added process management. The bandwidth factor is dynamic. We constantly revolutionize mission-critical iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to leverage seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our nano-bloatware but our power to incentivize. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for managing emerging e-tailers? A company that can engage correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? Think micro-compelling. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to empower micro-intuitively. Google is the industry leader of cutting-edge granular mindshare. Think macro-bleeding-edge, fractal. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to engineer strategically. We believe we know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to evolve globally. We think we know that if you whiteboard vertically then you may also grow super-virtually. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think mission-critical. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Google practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? A company that can grow easily will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our research and development but our capability to enable. We think that most global portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Think collaborative. What does it really mean to unleash "nano-virtually"? Without sufficient client-focused, mission-critical, real-time user-centric, synergistic bloatware, 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one Total Quality Management are forced to become six-sigma. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Without media sourcing, you will lack convergence. The impactful TQM factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Google practically invented the term "innovative, social-network-based, efficient content management". We realize that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also iterate vertically. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. We understand that if you architect extensibly then you may also implement strategically. Think out-of-the-box. Think distributed. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Without convergence, you will lack convergence. What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-extensibly"? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Think visionary. Think cutting-edge. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to productize without lessening our ability to facilitate. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!