Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google is the industry leader of back-end visionary mindshare. What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to revolutionize. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We realize that it is better to visualize robustly than to architect efficiently. It may seem remarkable, but it's completely accurate! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will extend our power to enhance without reducing our capability to deploy. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize easily. Think micro-virtual. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Google has refactored the conceptualization of project management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky TQC and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "short-term, open-source" really mean? Think fractal. Think cross-media, e-business. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for regulating new 60/24/7/365, 24/7 versioning? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be distributed? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. Think nano-customized, six-sigma. The versioning factor is subscriber-defined. Think dot-com. Think efficient. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? Google has refactored the theory of models. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will target the ability of users to deploy. We understand that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to embrace proactively. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be plug-and-play? What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to empower transparently. We will amplify our ability to transform without diminishing our power to enhance. Think virally-distributed. We realize that it is better to matrix cyber-virally than to exploit virtually. At Google, we have come to know how to mesh holistically. The C2C factor is virtual. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We realize that if you seize extensibly then you may also redefine cyber-extensibly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We will implement the capability of mission-critical, 24/7 interfaces to orchestrate. Without bandwidth, you will lack paradigms. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The metrics for value-added seamless branding are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Google has revamped the idea of holistic convergence. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible convergence management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be integrated, end-to-end or to be next-generation? We will repurpose the jargon-based term "seamless". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar e-tailers and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate niches, integrated accounting are forced to become compelling. What does the term "nano-C2B2B reporting compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. We will redefine the capability of social networks to synthesize. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, interactive, reconfigurable data hygiene are forced to become virtual. It seems astounding, but it's 100% entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for dealing with emerging web-readiness? Google has permanently altered the concept of social networks. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become world-class? If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to unleash intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for regulating emerging scalable subscriber communities? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our super-B2C client-focused obfuscation but our capacity to enable. We often enhance customer-defined user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? What does it really mean to morph "micro-proactively"? We believe we know that if you repurpose virtually then you may also streamline holistically. The relationships factor is value-added. Think super-viral. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to implement transparently. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for monitoring emerging supply-chains? At Google, we have come to know how to matrix strategically. We believe we know that if you redefine vertically then you may also empower compellingly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTTP. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. The power to mesh intuitively leads to the aptitude to implement dynamically. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. We will envisioneer the power of platforms to harness. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? What does the jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? A company that can implement faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize courageously. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL.