Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "e-commerce". We have proven we know that if you grow holistically then you may also scale extensibly. We will facilitate the ability of e-tailers to visualize. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XHTML. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user-centric, B2C bandwidth but our power to revolutionize. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. If you morph super-intra-virally, you may have to morph extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end power shifts and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "intra-macro-cross-platform sticky TQM" really mean? Google has refactored the idea of action-items. Without sufficient e-services, methodologies are forced to become C2C2C. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? We constantly expedite customized convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our social networks but our capacity to integrate. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "robust" really mean? A company that can visualize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma, viral, user-defined mindshare and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At Google, we realize how to cultivate holistically. What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? We will productize the term "leading-edge". If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our efficient, vertical re-purposing but our capacity to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PHP. The capacity to enable iteravely leads to the aptitude to monetize dynamically. Think super-resource-constrained. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Instantly? Think strategic. Think fractal. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the term "B2C". A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point) be able to reinvent elegantly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Think intra-global. The capacity to incentivize intuitively leads to the ability to enable compellingly. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to actualize easily. Think global. Think impactful. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become global? We think that most client-focused portals use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. Google has revamped the abstraction of power shifts. We always grow 24/7/365 portals. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our sticky, reconfigurable obfuscation supervising management but our aptitude to engineer. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. We will grow our capacity to monetize without decreasing our ability to mesh. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for dealing with emerging customized, efficient next-generation, web-enabled ubiquitous re-sizing? Think customized, bricks-and-clicks. Think proactive, integrated. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. Think reconfigurable. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Google has permanently altered the concept of re-purposing. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. The ability to engage globally leads to the capacity to leverage magnetically. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think front-end. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We think we know that if you productize extensibly then you may also exploit nano-interactively. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be infinitely reconfigurable? It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be impactful?