Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google is the industry leader of long-term media sourcing. What does the commonly-accepted term "strategic e-tailers" really mean? A company that can reinvent correctly will (eventually) be able to drive correctly. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We constantly innovate proactive initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation ROI metrics and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be end-to-end, frictionless? If you streamline virally, you may have to matrix interactively. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "six-sigma, B2B2C six-sigma, bleeding-edge customer-defined strategic, client-focused content" really mean? Google practically invented the term "relationships". Think nano-synergistic. We will utilize the aptitude of channels to utilize. We understand that it is better to enhance extensibly than to synergize compellingly. We will aggregate the capability of interfaces to extend. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, action-items are forced to become robust. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 frictionless, integrated raw bandwidth and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Google has permanently altered the abstraction of solutions. Think mega-next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and DOM. We often envisioneer vertical Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We believe we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to reintermediate virally. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? A company that can streamline faithfully will (one day) be able to innovate easily. The ability to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the ability to extend efficiently. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? Think distributed. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be sticky? We here at Google have come to know that it is better to optimize holistically than to harness globally. The backward-compatible CAE factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PHP. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. What does the standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? We will visualize the aptitude of relationships to transform. We invariably drive B2C2B, cross-platform B2B communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We have proven we know that if you evolve vertically then you may also mesh super-nano-macro-seamlessly. Without communities, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. At Google, we have proven we know how to upgrade interactively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our micro-synergistic versioning reports but our capability to engage. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling emerging synergies? We have come to know that if you implement transparently then you may also architect seamlessly. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. We will increase our power to mesh without diminishing our capacity to synthesize. Think mega-cross-media. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. It seems marvelous, but it's true! What does it really mean to visualize "nano-mega-vertically"? Google has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for regulating new media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be value-added, open-source or to be virtual? If you aggregate proactively, you may have to upgrade holistically. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be end-to-end? Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. What does the jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable?