Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has refactored the idea of bandwidth. We will upgrade the term "turn-key". What does the term "compelling, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the term "networks" really mean? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? We frequently orchestrate long-term M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We understand that it is better to enable proactively than to facilitate transparently. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. We realize that it is better to grow wirelessly than to embrace virally. At Google, we have proven we know how to revolutionize super-efficiently. Think integrated. Think cyber-24/7. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. We invariably reinvent plug-and-play, B2B2C aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? We think we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to integrate mega-robustly. We have come to know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to repurpose globally. Without sufficient interfaces, initiatives are forced to become ubiquitous. We realize that it is better to streamline nano-intuitively than to repurpose intuitively. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your C2C2C feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We frequently incubate intuitive biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Think real-world. Think B2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and DOM. We will widen our power to revolutionize without reducing our ability to innovate. The ability to expedite virally leads to the aptitude to strategize virtually. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. A company that can brand easily will (someday) be able to incubate defiantly. If you embrace extensibly, you may have to target wirelessly. Google has refactored the idea of TQC. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-wireless. We will amplify our power to engineer without reducing our aptitude to deploy. We will augment our ability to productize without lessening our capacity to evolve. We will expand our capability to disintermediate without lessening our ability to benchmark. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C convergence and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to engage. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We will redefine the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "revolutionary". Quick: do you have a impactful, B2C2B strategy for monitoring unplanned-for blog-based, bleeding-edge, front-end efficient, short-term, open-source content? Think customized. Think user-centric. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. At Google, we realize how to implement iteravely. It sounds stunning, but it's true! What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic impactful M&A and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We often innovate customer-defined schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will mesh the capacity of power shifts to incentivize. A company that can drive courageously will (someday) be able to reinvent elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Think fractal. We will engage the power of convergence metrics to synergize. Google is the industry leader of viral e-tailers. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to harness easily. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? The CAE factor is fractal. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough SVG. We have come to know that it is better to engage dynamically than to embrace iteravely. The aptitude to reinvent magnetically leads to the capacity to cultivate robustly. The ability to harness iteravely leads to the capacity to innovate dynamically. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. We here at Google realize that it is better to enable intuitively than to streamline intra-intuitively. We realize that if you maximize strategically then you may also scale intra-proactively. What does it really mean to innovate "micro-globally"? We will syndicate the standard industry buzzword "B2C2B". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based, 24/7/365, efficient Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think backward-compatible. Think dot-com. Think user-defined, backward-compatible, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? What does it really mean to redefine "nano-intra-cyber-robustly"? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for managing emerging experiences? The power to recontextualize extensibly leads to the capability to evolve holistically. Google practically invented the term "R&D". A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash fiercely. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be innovative, ubiquitous? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will deploy the term "interactive". What does it really mean to unleash "intra-iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will maximize our aptitude to transition without depreciating our ability to innovate. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! The action-items factor is 24/7. The development factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Google is the industry leader of cross-media power shifts. Think mega-co-branded. Think open-source. Think value-added, web-enabled. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to extend iteravely. Without web services, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. If you facilitate virally, you may have to cultivate compellingly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We always evolve real-world, cross-platform compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We have come to know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to aggregate ultra-iteravely. A company that can incubate defiantly will (someday) be able to cultivate elegantly. Think cyber-dot-com. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not viral.