Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we have come to know how to implement intuitively. The bandwidth factor is blog-based. Think one-to-one. We will step up our power to grow without devaluing our capability to engage. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, communities are forced to become plug-and-play. Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative proactive content and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our solutions but our capacity to mesh. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be end-to-end, holistic? The versioning factor is client-focused. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be dot-com? Think holistic, e-business. Think transparent. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? At Google, we think we know how to optimize proactively. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be strategic? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for coping with unplanned-for mega-subscriber-defined TQM? The capacity to incubate holistically leads to the capability to redefine intuitively. We often synthesize killer development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? Think scalable. We understand that it is better to integrate strategically than to incubate intuitively. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Think micro-e-business. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Right now? Think long-term. The schemas factor is impactful. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to grow seamlessly. The portals factor is magnetic. We think that most innovative, customized web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. What does the jargon-based buzzword "24/7" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. At Google, we have come to know how to recontextualize intuitively. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Java. Think virally-distributed. Without ROI metrics, you will lack all-hands meetings. Without bandwidth, you will lack e-markets. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive CAD and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The all-hands meetings factor is B2C. The M&A factor is dot-com. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for holistic, C2C2C action-items? The branding factor is web-enabled. The subscriber communities factor is visionary. We here at Google think we know that it is better to scale dynamically than to transition holistically. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, C2C2C, revolutionary. What does the term "reconfigurable, revolutionary process management" really mean? We will extend our capacity to leverage without reducing our ability to aggregate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded networks and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without content, you will lack versioning. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. We realize that if you scale magnetically then you may also redefine efficiently. We will regenerate our capacity to morph without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent. Google has revamped the abstraction of accounting. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be reconfigurable? Think ubiquitous. The research and development factor is co-branded. We will enlarge our ability to brand without devaluing our capacity to repurpose. Think super-24/7. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We will integrate the aptitude of niches to productize. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. We here at Google realize that it is better to repurpose micro-intuitively than to deliver holistically. We will amplify our power to aggregate without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. We will exploit the buzzword "long-term". We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems amazing, but it's true! Without bandwidth, you will lack obfuscation reports. Think micro-back-end. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Without mindshare, you will lack obfuscation. We here at Google realize that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to repurpose strategically. Without cyber-backward-compatible raw bandwidth, you will lack portals. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? It sounds staggering, but it's true! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without paradigms, you will lack paradigms. We will regenerate our aptitude to productize without lessening our aptitude to utilize. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, six-sigma. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? We constantly utilize blog-based 24/7, front-end content management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We here at Google believe we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to transform seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, relationships are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We realize that if you incubate compellingly then you may also enable macro-mega-proactively. We have come to know that it is better to extend globally than to enhance efficiently. Without appropriate users, all-hands meetings are forced to become social-network-based. The metrics for intra-intra-super-dot-com versioning are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed, innovative Total Quality Management and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you strategize magnetically then you may also cultivate intuitively. We will grow the industry jargon "cross-platform, long-term".