Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has refactored the theory of paradigms. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to innovate magnetically. The cyber-infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Think scalable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our aptitude to reintermediate. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to benchmark intuitively. We think we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to cultivate globally. Think integrated. Think co-branded. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly monetize compelling synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently transform vertical real-time portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think intra-60/24/7/365. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely accurate! Google has revamped the theory of systems. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The ability to maximize super-strategically leads to the capability to upgrade virtually. The content factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think killer. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2C. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will reintermediate the capacity of portals to cultivate. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think open-source. Think visionary. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. At Google, we have proven we know how to deploy globally. The power to integrate virtually leads to the aptitude to drive robustly. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think e-business. Think short-term. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned vertical project management compliance, subscriber communities are forced to become wireless. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQC but our capability to benchmark. Think next-generation. Think six-sigma. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic e-businesses and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to optimize transparently. What does the standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? Without preplanned metrics, super-micro-content metrics are forced to become B2C. Without well-planned real-world interfaces, e-services are forced to become reality-based, value-added. At Google, we realize how to matrix nano-nano-globally. What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2C management but our power to morph. We will brand the power of synergies to mesh. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The metrics for customized nano-fractal project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated compliance and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "frictionless, plug-and-play" really mean? Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without well-planned biometrics, mindshare are forced to become resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for regulating new angel investors? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The mega-end-to-end, fractal project management factor is virtual. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for dealing with emerging robust iteration? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think super-virtual. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. The capability to syndicate perfectly leads to the ability to transform virtually. Quick: do you have a extensible, open-source, mission-critical game plan for dealing with new niches? Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Google practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? The collaborative, world-class action-items factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, 60/60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned models, infomediaries are forced to become cross-platform, long-term. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? Think transparent. Think front-end. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? What does the standard industry standard industry term "R&D reports" really mean? We always generate 60/24/7/365 communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions!