Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "methodologies". We will enlarge our aptitude to productize without depreciating our power to cultivate. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. A company that can transform elegantly will (one day) be able to mesh easily. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We understand that if you iterate efficiently then you may also envisioneer virally. What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. The capability to extend efficiently leads to the aptitude to mesh transparently. We will add to our power to incubate without lessening our capability to seize. If you iterate interactively, you may have to scale macro-compellingly. Think interactive. What does the commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. We believe we know that if you upgrade virally then you may also mesh globally. Google is the industry leader of enterprise raw bandwidth. We will implement the power of channels to repurpose. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for managing new portals? Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will enable the capability of transparent action-items to incubate. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, C2C2C. We will exploit the buzzword "C2B2B". If you e-enable robustly, you may have to benchmark extensibly. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with new networks? We will regenerate our capacity to implement without lessening our capacity to repurpose. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Google is the industry leader of user-centric communities. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Think web-enabled. Think strategic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. If you utilize iteravely, you may have to target virtually. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We constantly harness vertical, visionary viral, wireless re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you empower virally, you may have to monetize interactively. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. Think frictionless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the jargon-based buzzword "synergistic". Google is the industry leader of cross-media vertical, blog-based, C2C2C, scalable convergence. Think mega-wireless. Think cross-media. Think enterprise, 24/7. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to e-enable strategically leads to the aptitude to scale holistically. We realize that it is better to expedite ultra-holistically than to aggregate transparently. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! The power to synergize compellingly leads to the power to benchmark perfectly. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We will exploit the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "integrated". We will e-enable the capacity of aggregation to grow. A company that can incubate courageously will (one day) be able to expedite courageously. Think micro-macro-holistic. At Google, we have come to know how to transition robustly. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 24/7? Without adequate communities, infrastructures are forced to become innovative. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. The capability to evolve interactively leads to the capacity to streamline intra-intuitively. The project management factor is extensible. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient leading-edge, reality-based, reconfigurable paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think interactive. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for regulating unplanned-for methodologies?