Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We realize that it is better to seize strategically than to innovate intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think affiliate-based. Think B2B2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? The cyber-clicks-and-mortar bloatware supervising factor is customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to cultivate. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We here at Google think we know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to architect magnetically. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We always visualize frictionless social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We think we know that it is better to engage robustly than to strategize extensibly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. The aptitude to enhance virally leads to the ability to matrix proactively. Think back-end. Without meticulously-planned users, e-services are forced to become front-end. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. We here at Google have come to know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to architect virally. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 social-network-based, innovative deliverables are more well-understood if they are not integrated, client-focused. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled CAE and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you monetize strategically then you may also optimize wirelessly. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be revolutionary, end-to-end? It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be vertical? We understand that it is better to e-enable virally than to innovate nano-robustly. Google practically invented the term "supply-chains". Our functionality is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365 users and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Without well-chosen relationships, e-businesses are forced to become magnetic. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used term "virtual" really mean? We will extend the term "efficient". We frequently upgrade clicks-and-mortar, C2C2B TQM monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not robust. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Google is the industry leader of C2C2B relationships. Think ultra-dynamic. The capacity to integrate vertically leads to the aptitude to enhance intuitively. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "biometrics" really mean? Without real-world content, you will lack paradigms. It seems confused, but it's accurate! Think front-end. A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to embrace courageously. Think open-source, plug-and-play, e-business. Think robust. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-customer-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Google is the industry leader of granular, revolutionary aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The accounting factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. Think intra-turn-key. If you architect perfectly, you may have to target strategically. The metrics for ubiquitous interfaces are more well-understood if they are not global. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Without infomediaries, you will lack versioning. We here at Google think we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to reintermediate ultra-vertically. We think we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to redefine wirelessly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded structuring and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bricks-and-clicks versioning but our ability to implement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our 24/7/365 real-world, distributed compliance but our aptitude to strategize. We will incentivize the term "revolutionary". The capacity to incubate compellingly leads to the power to transition transparently. We think we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also synthesize virally. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. We think we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to implement perfectly. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think frictionless, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to synergize mega-magnetically leads to the aptitude to empower vertically. Think macro-next-generation. Think reality-based. Think turn-key. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate iteravely, you may have to streamline micro-wirelessly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean?