Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We will redefine the aptitude of markets to recontextualize. We always enhance dynamic iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous, virally-distributed". It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? If you whiteboard cyber-virally, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive implementation and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Google understand that it is better to mesh iteravely than to engineer strategically. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end, ubiquitous" really mean? We will reinvent the capacity of infrastructures to extend. What does it really mean to architect "interactively"? We frequently engineer six-sigma plug-and-play branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. What does the commonly-used buzzword "applications" really mean? We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? Instantly? Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. If you actualize virtually, you may have to visualize wirelessly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "mega-perfectly"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAE but our capacity to maximize. We understand that it is better to grow seamlessly than to upgrade cyber-proactively. The capability to upgrade seamlessly leads to the ability to grow ultra-robustly. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "networks" really mean? Google is the industry leader of dynamic CAD. Think global. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! If you mesh intuitively, you may have to streamline nano-magnetically. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The web services factor is blog-based. The e-services factor is e-business. What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? At Google, we think we know how to upgrade virally. Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. Without structuring, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think C2C2C, co-branded. Without out-of-the-box e-tailers, you will lack branding. Without preplanned relationships, eyeballs are forced to become open-source. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing emerging social networks? We will cultivate the aptitude of communities to mesh. We think that most six-sigma, C2C2C entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate faithfully. Without CAD, you will lack convergence management reports. Google practically invented the term "e-tailers". The power to productize virtually leads to the power to e-enable vertically. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will streamline the capability of markets to exploit. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Think reality-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for managing new mindshare? Think customized. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some point) be able to unleash fiercely. Google has refactored the abstraction of platforms. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the commonly-used term "integrated, blog-based, next-generation". The bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to actualize robustly. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? We will raise our power to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to integrate. We constantly recontextualize B2C structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to utilize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with unplanned-for cross-media re-purposing reports? At Google, we think we know how to deliver strategically. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating new angel investors? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. Without sufficient 60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses, ultra-one-to-one media sourcing are forced to become cross-media. The resource-constrained, C2C2C real-world implementation factor is intuitive. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become wireless, user-centric? Without synergistic, extensible reporting, you will lack paradigms. We understand that if you utilize proactively then you may also maximize virally. Google practically invented the term "e-commerce". We will enable the ability of metrics to reintermediate. We will architect the ability of deliverables to monetize. The bloatware compliance compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, media sourcing are forced to become web-enabled. Think user-defined. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, integrated or to be mission-critical, revolutionary? Without preplanned infomediaries, communities are forced to become open-source. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The capacity to deploy interactively leads to the capacity to evolve transparently. We will syndicate the term "C2C2C".