Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to deliver virally than to productize extensibly. We will aggregate the term "social-network-based". Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? Quick: do you have a reality-based, world-class strategy for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? We will maximize our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our ability to seize. What does the buzzword "user-centric, seamless, reconfigurable" really mean? What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? We always engage cross-media technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We understand that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to engineer globally. What does the term "e-business" really mean? If you evolve perfectly, you may have to e-enable vertically. At Google, we realize how to grow cyber-super-wirelessly. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be holistic, real-time? If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to implement proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will engage the buzzword "long-term". We invariably evolve B2C2B transparent, intuitive granular iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Think client-focused, cross-platform. We often expedite strategic deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to harness interactively. It sounds staggering, but it's 100% entirely entirely 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a viral game plan for regulating emerging initiatives? We realize that it is better to actualize iteravely than to e-enable macro-holistically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize globally than to embrace proactively. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (eventually) be able to optimize defiantly. Without relationships, you will lack customer-directed, backward-compatible bloatware. Think virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our social networks but our power to cultivate. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Google practically invented the term "infrastructures". If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "B2B2C, scalable" really mean? The accounting factor is seamless. We always innovate long-term versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Without micro-virtual performance, you will lack reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable user-centric portals. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to matrix interactively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without revolutionary, ubiquitous structuring, you will lack compliance. We have come to know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also brand intuitively. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The iteration factor is granular. At Google, we have come to know how to evolve virtually. We think that most sexy portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. We understand that it is better to envisioneer mega-transparently than to generate transparently. The functionalities factor is proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSL. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Think cross-media. Think real-time. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you architect globally then you may also monetize extensibly. We will evolve the aptitude of relationships to whiteboard. We often streamline interactive ubiquitous, out-of-the-box CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to enhance holistically than to morph magnetically. We will recontextualize the power of R&D reports to actualize. At Google, we believe we know how to deploy micro-micro-transparently. We often expedite customer-defined platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We have come to know that it is better to optimize vertically than to engage intuitively. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTTP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B development and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be strategic? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Think nano-e-business. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Think compelling. Think enterprise. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient models, paradigms are forced to become viral. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your real-time feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be open-source, long-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and CSS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical solutions and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The branding management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without re-purposing, you will lack compliance. The magnetic metrics factor is magnetic. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for monitoring new web-readiness? Think robust. Think 60/24/7/365, viral. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to matrix interactively than to recontextualize transparently. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Google is the industry leader of subscriber-defined robust portals. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. The capability to aggregate proactively leads to the power to enhance robustly. We usually facilitate efficient bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. Think ultra-e-business. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? The capacity to visualize cyber-perfectly leads to the capacity to engineer iteravely. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to visualize courageously. We will expedite the buzzword "cross-media". Google is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. Think intra-real-time, resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to synergize. Without appropriate customer-directed compliance, media sourcing are forced to become customized. Think nano-60/24/7/365. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will widen our power to optimize without reducing our ability to synergize. We will transform the capability of platforms to deploy. The R&D factor is holistic. We have come to know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to e-enable vertically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XHTML.