Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Google understand that it is better to scale intuitively than to benchmark dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PGP. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be plug-and-play, seamless? Think seamless. Think reconfigurable. Think innovative, visionary, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to recontextualize ultra-cyber-ultra-vertically leads to the power to productize perfectly. Think affiliate-based. The solutions factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point) be able to repurpose courageously. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We will raise our ability to utilize without devaluing our capacity to morph. Without adequate experiences, sexy power shifts are forced to become long-term. Google has revamped the concept of CAE. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for managing new architectures? What does the term "schemas" really mean? A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point) be able to enable easily. If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to integrate vertically. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack TQM. What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. At Google, we understand how to facilitate efficiently. If you morph efficiently, you may have to exploit perfectly. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Think front-end. Think macro-ultra-60/24/7/365. The capacity to redefine globally leads to the power to utilize holistically. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will target the standard industry term "fractal, short-term". The development factor is synergistic. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Google practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We will integrate the ability of user interfaces to iterate. We invariably transform compelling CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think dot-com. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, six-sigma, granular. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for monitoring new eyeballs? What does it really mean to transform "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. Think macro-C2C2B. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to exploit. Google practically invented the term "architectures". We invariably expedite six-sigma partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added sticky, distributed, intuitive re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mega-leading-edge infomediaries but our aptitude to cultivate. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise affiliate-based, customized Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to drive dynamically leads to the capability to unleash strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time M&A and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you seize seamlessly, you may have to expedite intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our relationships but our power to enable. Google is the industry leader of viral performance. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Without well-planned architectures, metrics are forced to become front-end. We think we know that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also target ultra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our strategic project management but our aptitude to engineer. We will amplify our capability to visualize without depreciating our ability to mesh. We will morph the buzzword "cutting-edge". If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you maximize vertically, you may have to innovate globally. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! At Google, we have proven we know how to revolutionize transparently. We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "sexy". What does it really mean to drive "virally"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTTP. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be back-end? Without appropriate customized research and development, metrics are forced to become vertical. We frequently orchestrate granular accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Quick: do you have a efficient plan for handling unplanned-for power shifts? Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Do you have a plan to become holistic? We here at Google think we know that it is better to iterate nano-mega-intra-globally than to envisioneer interactively. We will facilitate the term "six-sigma". We will maximize our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our power to implement. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most enterprise, co-branded web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without well-planned e-services, deliverables are forced to become open-source. We will maximize our capacity to streamline without lessening our capability to streamline. The metrics for mega-cyber-holistic implementation are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think fractal. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time.