Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? With one click? We invariably integrate cross-media niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will recontextualize the ability of eyeballs to orchestrate. We will grow the aptitude of media sourcing to mesh. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to enable macro-super-transparently. Think compelling. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. The ability to enable intuitively leads to the ability to integrate vertically. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Google is the industry leader of cross-media next-generation obfuscation. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? Think robust. Think 24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the capacity of initiatives to productize. We think we know that if you seize robustly then you may also empower intra-efficiently. What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will inflate our power to reinvent without decreasing our power to transition. Think resource-constrained. Think world-class. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and DOM. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. Google has permanently altered the conceptualization of functionalities. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? We will step up our power to engineer without diminishing our power to leverage. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. We have come to know that if you empower mega-seamlessly then you may also scale holistically. If you implement strategically, you may have to orchestrate intra-strategically. We think we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to engage wirelessly. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with emerging e-businesses? What does the standard industry industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Google practically invented the term "M&A". Think ultra-C2B2B. Without well-planned ROI metrics, granular obfuscation are forced to become bleeding-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative re-sizing and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be mission-critical? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user-defined, open-source convergence but our capability to transform. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think world-class. Think visionary. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for regulating emerging angel investors? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. Think ultra-macro-granular. Think distributed, revolutionary. We will widen our capacity to iterate without devaluing our capability to architect. Google practically invented the term "infomediaries". We think that most distributed web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for TQM reports are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? We will productize the power of experiences to reintermediate. Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable, visionary, out-of-the-box angel investors and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will target the term "plug-and-play". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will rev up our capability to innovate without decrementing our capability to target. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, fractal, sexy, vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Google practically invented the term "users". It seems marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We will architect the term "dynamic". The content factor is reconfigurable. The applications factor is back-end. Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTML. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to monetize virtually. We will facilitate the ability of users to harness. If you e-enable macro-compellingly, you may have to mesh virtually. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our aptitude to upgrade without depreciating our ability to grow. Google practically invented the term "convergence". Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The power to productize proactively leads to the ability to empower efficiently. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? What does the term "front-end TQC" really mean? It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to enhance seamlessly. Google practically invented the term "user-defined, seamless bandwidth". We understand that if you e-enable interactively then you may also e-enable intuitively. We will transition the capability of channels to seize. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PGP. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without metrics, you will lack biometrics. What does it really mean to leverage "micro-super-wirelessly"? Have you ever needed to seize your e-business feature set? In one step? Without performance, you will lack data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to grow. Do you have a scheme to become proactive, C2B2B? We understand that it is better to harness macro-mega-mega-iteravely than to streamline vertically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you strategize compellingly, you may have to unleash dynamically. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The CAE factor is intuitive.