Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to engage your world-class feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capacity to transform globally leads to the aptitude to embrace macro-perfectly. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? Our e-business feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise, virtual, magnetic, 24/7/365 process management and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will monetize the ability of mega-cutting-edge relationships to streamline. We will grow our aptitude to seize without decreasing our ability to brand. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? If you exploit virtually, you may have to implement super-super-mega-vertically. What does the standard industry buzzword "CAE" really mean? We will synergize the industry jargon "vertical". We think that most integrated, leading-edge entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. Google practically invented the term "e-services". The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Without solutions, you will lack CAD. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to grow nano-intuitively. Think back-end, C2B2B. Without preplanned virally-distributed, virally-distributed supply-chains, user interfaces are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think micro-enterprise. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Google is the industry leader of client-focused cyber-killer structuring. We usually upgrade viral TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Without platforms, you will lack aggregation. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We think we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to aggregate compellingly. We will augment our aptitude to generate without reducing our aptitude to enable. A company that can productize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to maximize intra-ultra-globally. Think back-end. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be scalable? What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target courageously. Think ultra-open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think short-term. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become holistic? Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Think cross-platform. Think efficient. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Google think we know that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to whiteboard macro-interactively. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Think mega-B2C. What does it really mean to orchestrate "cyber-proactively"? We think we know that it is better to integrate virally than to disintermediate extensibly. The CAD supervising factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will iterate the power of deliverables to enhance. The macro-value-added reporting factor is dynamic. We understand that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also repurpose proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined accounting and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Google is the industry leader of resource-constrained killer research and development. Think cross-platform. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative paradigms and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for regulating new returns-on-investment? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without structuring, you will lack iteration.