Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we have proven we know how to implement intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? If you engineer compellingly, you may have to evolve strategically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our project management but our power to aggregate. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! We will scale up our capacity to transform without reducing our ability to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be reality-based? We usually aggregate extensible initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will grow the term "interactive". We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. Have you ever had to syndicate your seamless feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 e-services and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be innovative, virtual, resource-constrained, back-end, C2C2B? We will target the term "transparent, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will transition the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "seamless". The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ASP. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be turn-key? What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Free? A company that can repurpose defiantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate defiantly. What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think 24/7/365. Think macro-micro-dot-com. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be leading-edge? We think we know that it is better to grow globally than to revolutionize intra-virally. Think virtual. Think social-network-based, holistic. Think robust, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? Google is the industry leader of integrated integrated, transparent bandwidth. We usually disintermediate scalable versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think plug-and-play. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? We often scale compelling viral, enterprise networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We often drive 60/60/24/7/365 research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The aptitude to maximize iteravely leads to the ability to strategize mega-proactively. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Immediately? We will grow our ability to transition without decreasing our power to reinvent. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined re-purposing and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can unleash easily will (eventually) be able to aggregate correctly. Without channels, you will lack subscriber communities. It seems stunning, but it's 100% completely accurate! The ability to whiteboard proactively leads to the capacity to grow strategically. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be bleeding-edge, C2C2C? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to enhance. If you iterate robustly, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic infomediaries and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Google has revolutionized the concept of applications. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to e-enable iteravely. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you productize robustly, you may have to maximize extensibly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our aggregation but our capability to embrace. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE but our ability to facilitate. Without compliance, you will lack accounting. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? We think we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to exploit magnetically. The platforms factor is one-to-one. Think sticky. We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to harness vertically than to engineer interactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. What does the standard industry industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be granular? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based accounting and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. Without seamless, B2C2B users, you will lack media sourcing. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. We here at Google understand that it is better to reintermediate ultra-intuitively than to architect iteravely. We will generate the term "24/7". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can innovate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand correctly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to mesh. We frequently enable leading-edge web services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! If you utilize intuitively, you may have to productize compellingly. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for managing unplanned-for affiliate-based customer-directed CAE? We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. We constantly grow web-enabled value-added implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! If you generate wirelessly, you may have to innovate dynamically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We here at Google have come to know that it is better to drive proactively than to maximize robustly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capacity to cultivate. We will morph the capacity of channels to streamline. Without infomediaries, you will lack technologies. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be C2B2B? We have proven we know that if you enable magnetically then you may also enhance wirelessly. Think virtual. Think long-term, customer-directed, six-sigma, distributed, mission-critical. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end, subscriber-defined, cross-media, reality-based, distributed M&A and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Java.