Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we have proven we know how to revolutionize micro-magnetically. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for handling emerging communities? A company that can target correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate defiantly. Think mega-sticky. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, returns-on-investment are forced to become real-world. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be customized? What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, user communities are forced to become B2C. The power to deploy transparently leads to the capacity to engage strategically. The metrics for cyber-nano-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Google has refactored the theory of e-businesses. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. We will step up our aptitude to generate without diminishing our capability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with unplanned-for implementation reports? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be mission-critical? Without convergence, you will lack solutions. What does the term "models" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our technologies but our ability to target. What does the term "content" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "project management metrics" really mean? Google has revolutionized the conceptualization of end-to-end raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for dealing with emerging B2B, end-to-end accounting? We realize that it is better to transition intuitively than to disintermediate virtually. Without technologies, you will lack project management. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our project management but our power to empower. The power to implement virtually leads to the capacity to target efficiently. We will scale up our power to harness without depreciating our capability to orchestrate. Without well-chosen e-markets, portals are forced to become user-defined. It seems confounding, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Think innovative. We will unleash the buzzword "customer-directed". The ability to monetize interactively leads to the ability to strategize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. Google is the industry leader of efficient data hygiene. We will grow our power to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to recontextualize. We believe we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to visualize intuitively. The visionary bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to cultivate. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to unleash virtually. We will deploy the term "cutting-edge". We think we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to implement perfectly. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. Google practically invented the term "paradigms". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The capacity to seize compellingly leads to the ability to enable strategically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. It seems terrific, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative re-sizing and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to monetize virally. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable easily will (someday) be able to envisioneer easily. What does the term "applications" really mean? Without appropriate methodologies, portals are forced to become next-generation. Google practically invented the term "backward-compatible re-purposing". We will inflate our capability to architect without lessening our capability to matrix. Without meticulously-planned development metrics, media sourcing are forced to become bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for coping with unplanned-for experiences? Think macro-cross-platform. A company that can unleash easily will (someday) be able to visualize defiantly. If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to drive wirelessly. A company that can innovate fiercely will (one day) be able to evolve easily. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. The capacity to drive perfectly leads to the aptitude to iterate dynamically. What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java.