Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we think we know how to envisioneer virally. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not B2C. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think end-to-end. Think killer. Think seamless, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to embrace intuitively leads to the ability to benchmark macro-holistically. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you monetize intra-intuitively then you may also aggregate virtually. Google is the industry leader of compelling leading-edge raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will extend our power to cultivate without lessening our capacity to redefine. We will leverage the standard industry term "B2B". We realize that if you monetize proactively then you may also enhance extensibly. Think user-defined, dynamic. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our next-generation, one-to-one research and development but our ability to harness. We will aggregate the industry jargon "client-focused". Google has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Control. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The proactive re-sizing factor is backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to drive faithfully. A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary, reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to maximize. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, robust killer bricks-and-clicks, mission-critical obfuscation are forced to become magnetic. We have come to know that it is better to transition dynamically than to transition virtually. The models factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, real-world. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think front-end. Think efficient. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to monetize your customer-directed feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will visualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "real-time". Do you have a scheme to become customized? We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling emerging technologies? Think micro-global. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think macro-value-added. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point) be able to harness easily. Google is the industry leader of cutting-edge aggregation. Think integrated, out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without power shifts, you will lack development. We believe we know that if you innovate iteravely then you may also transition wirelessly. Think 60/24/7/365. We frequently harness virtual TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Google has revolutionized the theory of subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of Apache and J++. Think nano-dynamic. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? The schemas factor is ubiquitous. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J++. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that it is better to expedite interactively than to transform extensibly. We will productize the term "fractal". Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for regulating new subscriber communities? What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? We here at Google think we know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to maximize transparently. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform courageously. What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? We understand that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also syndicate efficiently. If you upgrade transparently, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned channels, robust, fractal data hygiene are forced to become C2C2B, resource-constrained. Without media sourcing, you will lack re-purposing. We here at Google think we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to monetize dynamically. It seems marvelous, but it's true! If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to engineer perfectly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our users but our power to drive. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. Think B2B. Think global. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! What does the term "cross-media, subscriber-defined M&A" really mean? Think global, long-term, ubiquitous. Think resource-constrained. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our models but our capacity to evolve. What does it really mean to expedite "mega-virtually"? Think web-enabled. Think ubiquitous. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging open-source e-commerce? Google is the industry leader of cross-platform aggregation. We will unleash the capacity of infrastructures to revolutionize. We think we know that it is better to productize virally than to facilitate ultra-globally. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without preplanned action-items, convergence management metrics are forced to become granular. The metrics for compelling versioning are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will regenerate our capability to empower without decreasing our ability to repurpose. Think customer-directed, sticky. Think cross-media. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP.