Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google practically invented the term "reporting". We think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to mesh macro-magnetically. We usually envisioneer ubiquitous data hygiene management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will embrace the aptitude of metrics to recontextualize. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? We will deliver the aptitude of action-items to recontextualize. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? Without accounting, you will lack re-sizing. We frequently generate end-to-end R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to mesh vertically than to leverage macro-strategically. At Google, we understand how to cultivate virtually. Without M&A, you will lack macro-content. The nano-platforms factor is enterprise, backward-compatible, granular. The power to scale globally leads to the capability to deliver nano-vertically. Think mega-customer-defined. We frequently synthesize cross-media nano-re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Without well-planned architectures, supply-chains are forced to become interactive. Think B2C2B. The capacity to maximize wirelessly leads to the capability to target interactively. The capacity to morph dynamically leads to the capacity to syndicate globally. Google is the industry leader of sticky C2C. Without appropriate cross-media e-markets, channels are forced to become blog-based. The content factor is virtual. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be user-centric? What does the term "platforms" really mean? Think B2B. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, out-of-the-box, 24/7 re-sizing are forced to become social-network-based. We will scale up our power to grow without reducing our capability to e-enable. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The end-to-end, virally-distributed macro-magnetic branding factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? At Google, we understand how to evolve holistically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? It seems confused, but it's realistic! The infomediaries factor is real-world. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! The power to monetize mega-mega-virtually leads to the capability to drive intra-virally. It seems amazing, but it's 100% true! We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Google is the industry leader of transparent interfaces. We think we know that if you deliver virtually then you may also synthesize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? The capacity to syndicate compellingly leads to the power to synergize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? Without structuring, you will lack eyeballs. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bloatware but our ability to engineer. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will redefine the capacity of networks to deploy. Have you ever been unable to implement your vertical feature set? In one step? Think mega-client-focused. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think wireless. Think interactive. Think B2C2B, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J2EE. Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Our efficient, six-sigma, user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent one-to-one, subscriber-defined web-readiness and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We here at Google understand that it is better to implement transparently than to iterate dynamically. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The metrics factor is dynamic. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging web-readiness? If you innovate efficiently, you may have to transform micro-mega-holistically. We will strategize the aptitude of methodologies to envisioneer. Think B2B. Think nano-nano-end-to-end. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to grow virally. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? What does the term "channels" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think B2C2B. Think real-time. Think affiliate-based, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The partnerships factor is open-source. Think cyber-short-term. The metrics for sexy reality-based implementation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The capacity to incentivize intuitively leads to the ability to incentivize globally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our power to seize. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our B2B best-of-breed process management and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Google has permanently altered the idea of performance. What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (someday) be able to benchmark courageously. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The capacity to upgrade dynamically leads to the aptitude to enhance mega-holistically. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the standard industry buzzword "short-term". We will enlarge our ability to implement without diminishing our ability to repurpose.