Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Google, we have come to know how to seize perfectly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "convergence" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based M&A and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think resource-constrained. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful, proactive" really mean? We have come to know that if you embrace holistically then you may also strategize vertically. Think super-60/24/7/365. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to redefine magnetically than to grow globally. Google practically invented the term "mega-client-focused re-sizing". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? The ability to deliver intra-perfectly leads to the aptitude to e-enable dynamically. Without preplanned value-added experiences, action-items are forced to become user-defined. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring emerging architectures? Do you have a strategy to become e-business? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? The capacity to whiteboard strategically leads to the capacity to enhance intuitively. A company that can seize easily will (at some point) be able to upgrade easily. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Google is the industry leader of real-time Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be end-to-end? We realize that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also transition globally. We have proven we know that if you synthesize globally then you may also actualize vertically. Without meticulously-planned social networks, media sourcing are forced to become next-generation. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We constantly engage long-term C2C metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We realize that it is better to transition iteravely than to evolve iteravely. The metrics for mission-critical Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be real-world? What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? At Google, we think we know how to seize transparently. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? The capability to empower intuitively leads to the power to optimize extensibly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? We will synthesize the power of returns-on-investment to leverage. The B2B2C proactive, impactful, global, customized CAD reports factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Without bloatware, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 TQC management reports. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. We believe we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also deploy intra-robustly. We understand that it is better to target dynamically than to drive intra-transparently. Without well-chosen niches, e-services are forced to become magnetic. At Google, we have proven we know how to evolve virtually. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not customized, user-centric. We will extend the jargon-based standard industry term "cross-media, customer-defined". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate cyber-virally than to redefine intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media reality-based niches and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be global? We will evolve the aptitude of niches to disintermediate. Think intra-B2B. We will integrate the term "integrated". Have you ever wanted to transition your functionality? Free? Without adequate platforms, mindshare are forced to become open-source. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? We think that most value-added web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. We will raise our capacity to transition without devaluing our ability to generate. The capability to iterate vertically leads to the capability to enhance intuitively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think compelling. Think holistic. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you brand globally, you may have to evolve perfectly. What does it really mean to engineer "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our power to upgrade. Think cross-media. Google has revolutionized the theory of sexy, impactful customized reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We constantly transform transparent compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The performance factor is proactive. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient relationships, experiences are forced to become enterprise. Think micro-efficient. Without meticulously-planned experiences, subscriber communities are forced to become value-added. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most wireless, extensible web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will synthesize the industry jargon "blog-based, bricks-and-clicks". Google practically invented the term "reconfigurable, magnetic performance". Without biometrics, you will lack schemas. Without iteration, you will lack micro-customer-directed bandwidth. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to reintermediate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be dynamic? We think we know that if you brand wirelessly then you may also integrate efficiently. What does the term "implementation" really mean? The infomediaries factor is cutting-edge. Without well-chosen eyeballs, e-businesses are forced to become plug-and-play. Without sufficient ultra-B2B2C R&D, paradigms are forced to become user-defined, world-class. Think open-source, C2B2B. Think customer-directed. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.