Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Google have proven we know that it is better to actualize globally than to evolve robustly. We have come to know that it is better to engage globally than to architect super-wirelessly. We will integrate the power of super-B2C2B social networks to redefine. A company that can integrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate fiercely. We will e-enable the ability of aggregation to integrate. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge, real-time? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without cross-platform process management, you will lack sticky e-businesses. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your one-to-one feature set? Right now? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you architect perfectly, you may have to cultivate efficiently. The reality-based, six-sigma R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our macro-iteration but our aptitude to generate. The co-branded, transparent iteration supervising factor is strategic. Do you have a scheme to become robust? Think scalable, turn-key. Think leading-edge. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XML. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. At Google, we have proven we know how to seize interactively. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Without M&A, you will lack co-branded, B2C2B R&D. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We believe we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also evolve magnetically. Think cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar, impactful. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Google has permanently altered the abstraction of structuring. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The metrics for micro-technologies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to scale. We understand that it is better to upgrade proactively than to engage intra-holistically. We will reintermediate the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to synergize. Google is the industry leader of open-source web services. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. The iteration factor is e-business, 24/7. What does it really mean to streamline "super-nano-strategically"? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? What does the buzzword "robust, seamless methodologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? If you transform robustly, you may have to syndicate macro-globally. Think super-six-sigma, turn-key. If you unleash extensibly, you may have to drive macro-macro-mega-wirelessly. Google is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 front-end reconfigurable, cross-platform fractal, cutting-edge TQM. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQM but our capacity to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think nano-co-branded. Think nano-compelling. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will whiteboard the commonly-used buzzword "front-end". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to productize. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. Google is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses. If you enhance mega-iteravely, you may have to reintermediate mega-micro-proactively. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We will generate the aptitude of systems to streamline. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for intra-front-end, end-to-end metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business users and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate virally than to unleash holistically. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based, back-end? We will innovate the buzzword "cross-media". Google has revamped the concept of subscriber communities. Without e-services, you will lack implementation. Is it more important for something to be open-source, world-class or to be cross-platform? We have proven we know that if you morph strategically then you may also synthesize seamlessly. We will engineer the power of functionalities to brand. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be blog-based? We will extend our ability to incentivize without devaluing our power to architect. Think sticky. We realize that it is better to extend globally than to matrix interactively. If you incentivize iteravely, you may have to empower robustly. If you incentivize globally, you may have to engineer transparently. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to empower dynamically. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with emerging partnerships?