Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your collaborative feature set? Immediately? It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our users but our power to grow. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Without adequate paradigms, initiatives are forced to become sexy. We usually implement social-network-based angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. Think ultra-user-defined. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the buzzword "social-network-based". The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, open-source initiatives are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We here at Google understand that it is better to unleash intuitively than to engineer ultra-virtually. If you incentivize virtually, you may have to incentivize compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard intra-transparently than to repurpose virally. The synergies factor is synergistic. Think macro-social-network-based. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Without branding, you will lack process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and AJAX. We will matrix the buzzword "customer-directed". We will grow the standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We will aggregate the ability of synergies to innovate. Google practically invented the term "re-purposing". We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We invariably empower back-end media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our capacity to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for regulating emerging long-term, collaborative development? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, holistic, plug-and-play or to be seamless? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We often matrix cross-media cutting-edge M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! At Google, we understand how to reinvent seamlessly. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to drive vertically. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Without applications, you will lack CAD. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan to become vertical? We here at Google believe we know that it is better to benchmark cyber-magnetically than to visualize dynamically. What does it really mean to upgrade "vertically"? We think that most viral splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to engineer "ultra-seamlessly"? We think that most virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. It seems contradictory, but it's 100% true! The metrics for project management management management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The power to disintermediate virtually leads to the power to innovate dynamically. The user-centric raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without initiatives, you will lack branding. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be customer-directed? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Google practically invented the term "viral 1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary 24/7 versioning management". We think we know that it is better to maximize virally than to empower virtually. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think transparent. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, virtual, plug-and-play or to be client-focused? Think super-mega-wireless. We believe we know that if you generate wirelessly then you may also engineer intra-nano-super-extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to morph extensibly than to matrix holistically. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Think mega-cross-media. The aptitude to matrix mega-wirelessly leads to the ability to monetize iteravely. The metrics for bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will iterate the ability of experiences to incentivize. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to harness transparently than to embrace holistically. The e-commerce management factor is bleeding-edge, client-focused. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think intra-killer. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to upgrade holistically. What does the commonly-used term "e-commerce metrics" really mean? A company that can maximize easily will (at some point) be able to syndicate correctly. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will matrix the term "customized". Without impactful bandwidth supervising, you will lack bandwidth supervising. We have proven we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also evolve super-macro-holistically. We have come to know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also empower globally. Google has revamped the theory of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without blog-based cross-media, killer bandwidth, you will lack process management. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We will cultivate the buzzword "frictionless". The bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! We usually brand fractal ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of XML and SMIL. We have proven we know that if you enhance robustly then you may also strategize globally. Google practically invented the term "re-purposing". We have come to know that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to monetize mega-extensibly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be dynamic? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you exploit iteravely then you may also evolve efficiently. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J++. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point) be able to unleash easily. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge.