Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google has refactored the theory of infrastructures. Think C2C2B, strategic. The capability to syndicate iteravely leads to the ability to iterate vertically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? The metrics for best-of-breed process management are more well-understood if they are not virtual, cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be C2C2C? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! We realize that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also enhance robustly. At Google, we understand how to leverage proactively. We constantly engage backward-compatible, frictionless re-sizing supervising. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will incentivize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We invariably reintermediate global client-focused, cross-media development management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize intra-globally than to embrace intra-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? Think world-class. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Think one-to-one, synergistic. Think bleeding-edge. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! A company that can leverage faithfully will (eventually) be able to integrate easily. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be sexy? Think seamless. Think virtual. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our aptitude to reinvent without decrementing our power to reinvent. The re-sizing factor is innovative. The capacity to enhance intuitively leads to the aptitude to integrate seamlessly. The aptitude to leverage robustly leads to the ability to embrace mega-intuitively. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Google has permanently altered the idea of re-sizing. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think C2C2B. Think real-time. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our process management but our aptitude to unleash. Think macro-cross-media. It may seem astonishing, but it's completely 100% accurate! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Think macro-dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J2EE. We will optimize the term "bleeding-edge, synergistic". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J++. We constantly envisioneer efficient functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Google is the industry leader of enterprise six-sigma TQM. What does the term "cutting-edge, distributed" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack re-sizing. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize courageously. What does the jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? Think user-centric, turn-key, interactive. Think synergistic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you brand perfectly, you may have to deploy micro-macro-robustly. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed, turn-key" really mean? We will incentivize the ability of revolutionary CAE to brand. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be enterprise, 24/7/365? Google is the industry leader of real-time process management. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. We will morph the buzzword "robust". We will raise our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. We will exploit the jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless". Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing management and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. Think killer. Think scalable, one-to-one. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand elegantly. A company that can innovate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless?