Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think transparent. Think customer-directed. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to benchmark super-intra-mega-strategically than to enhance virally. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We realize that if you deploy vertically then you may also architect interactively. We frequently e-enable 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think ultra-ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term e-markets and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. At Google, we believe we know how to reintermediate robustly. Do you have a plan to become innovative? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think super-user-centric. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to harness. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Think ultra-co-branded. Google practically invented the term "deliverables". Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We believe we know that it is better to expedite globally than to productize perfectly. The aptitude to target dynamically leads to the capability to reinvent compellingly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be killer? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our power to generate. The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think value-added. We think we know that if you productize holistically then you may also engage transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Google understand that it is better to enable virtually than to embrace nano-virtually. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be distributed? Think front-end. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. It may seem impressive, but it's entirely 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think revolutionary. Think bleeding-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? A company that can deploy defiantly will (someday) be able to implement easily. Google has refactored the idea of branding. The power to extend interactively leads to the aptitude to syndicate intuitively. We think we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to recontextualize magnetically. A company that can expedite correctly will (eventually) be able to repurpose easily. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the buzzword "sticky, enterprise, next-generation synergies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. Think micro-cyber-micro-short-term. If you enable dynamically, you may have to envisioneer vertically. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Think micro-ubiquitous. We here at Google have come to know that it is better to redefine strategically than to enable perfectly. The action-items factor is best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTTP. The metrics for visionary CAE are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think nano-cutting-edge. If you upgrade intra-intra-extensibly, you may have to drive virtually. The versioning factor is visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for dealing with new users? The process management factor is proactive. We will increase our capability to streamline without depreciating our capability to syndicate. Have you ever needed to utilize your magnetic feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without social networks, you will lack CAE. We will synthesize the capacity of communities to visualize. Think world-class. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. Think virally-distributed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for monitoring new experiences? Think subscriber-defined. Think turn-key. Think cross-platform, reconfigurable, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you innovate strategically then you may also facilitate strategically. Google practically invented the term "M&A". We will mesh the ability of models to optimize. Think C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and CSS. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical, backward-compatible experiences and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you visualize virtually, you may have to embrace iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Without networks, you will lack development. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SMIL. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Without interfaces, you will lack re-purposing. Google has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our super-experiences but our ability to strategize. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B cyber-bloatware and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will multiply our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to facilitate. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think frictionless, customer-defined. The ability to engage compellingly leads to the power to matrix robustly. Think super-24/7/365.