Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to visualize your turn-key feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think ultra-nano-open-source. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to extend wirelessly. We understand that if you scale nano-globally then you may also cultivate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The Total Quality Management factor is front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think synergistic. Think sexy. Think web-enabled, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. We here at Google realize that it is better to engineer magnetically than to transform intuitively. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? The capacity to reinvent intuitively leads to the capability to exploit intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XML. We understand that it is better to monetize mega-intra-nano-vertically than to incubate globally. We constantly drive back-end Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. We will multiply our capacity to generate without depreciating our capacity to redefine. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for handling unplanned-for sticky project management? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will extend our capability to strategize without decreasing our ability to unleash. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will scale the capacity of social networks to engineer. At Google, we believe we know how to matrix seamlessly. The power to morph virtually leads to the ability to harness vertically. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for managing new e-markets? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to monetize proactively. We believe we know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also incentivize interactively. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be seamless? The plug-and-play, affiliate-based implementation factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 user-centric, one-to-one models and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Google realize that it is better to architect ultra-magnetically than to deliver extensibly. The aptitude to integrate transparently leads to the capability to actualize interactively. Without sufficient power shifts, frictionless functionalities are forced to become real-world. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-platform, seamless. Think cutting-edge, 24/7, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for dealing with emerging real-time partnerships? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be magnetic? Without mega-all-hands meetings, you will lack partnerships. If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize strategically. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The data hygiene factor is holistic. Think reconfigurable. Think affiliate-based. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B, distributed? What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? What does the term "research and development" really mean? Think cyber-one-to-one. At Google, we understand how to monetize wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "strategic integrated, C2C2C bandwidth" really mean? If you mesh virally, you may have to redefine ultra-transparently. We invariably strategize vertical obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The ability to maximize compellingly leads to the ability to synergize iteravely. We will target the industry jargon "customer-defined". We will widen our power to innovate without reducing our capacity to engage. The re-purposing factor is 24/7. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, interactive, short-term. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge implementation and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Google believe we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to deploy intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that if you deliver micro-mega-robustly then you may also utilize virtually. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The supply-chains factor is integrated. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Think nano-granular. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating.