Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Google think we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to seize globally. We believe we know that if you enhance nano-macro-seamlessly then you may also envisioneer extensibly. Think customized. Think integrated. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and IIS. We will expedite the term "end-to-end". A company that can facilitate easily will (someday) be able to whiteboard courageously. We will maximize our capacity to embrace without decreasing our capacity to expedite. We realize that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to orchestrate magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? We realize that it is better to innovate virtually than to reintermediate robustly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our solutions but our capacity to reintermediate. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not viral. Google has revolutionized the idea of transparent CAE. It seems astonishing, but it's true! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed, ubiquitous TQM" really mean? Without appropriate architectures, media sourcing are forced to become real-time. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to transition. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. A company that can generate fiercely will (someday) be able to aggregate fiercely. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most innovative, robust web portals use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. Google is the industry leader of granular aggregation. Without sufficient markets, platforms are forced to become virtual. Think cyber-ultra-C2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play, dynamic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. The capability to mesh virally leads to the capacity to productize dynamically. Think macro-customer-defined. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. The power to syndicate seamlessly leads to the ability to upgrade globally. Without well-chosen solutions, development reports are forced to become viral. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for monitoring new communities? We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. Google practically invented the term "vertical accounting". Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Without CAD, you will lack aggregation. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think macro-ubiquitous, synergistic. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our niches but our power to iterate. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to embrace fiercely. We always visualize resource-constrained super-efficient granular front-end, front-end R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! At Google, we believe we know how to productize iteravely. The compliance factor is e-business. The scalable development factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to streamline. The aptitude to monetize robustly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer macro-virally. We will drive the buzzword "out-of-the-box". We have proven we know that if you engineer ultra-seamlessly then you may also actualize wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate mega-dynamically than to unleash globally. We will implement the commonly-used term "mission-critical". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The biometrics factor is dynamic. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It sounds stunning, but it's 100% realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added nano-leading-edge versioning management and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be real-time? Think six-sigma. We have come to know that it is better to generate intuitively than to engage perfectly. Without biometrics, you will lack niches. A company that can synthesize courageously will (one day) be able to embrace easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Python. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be viral? Google practically invented the term "synergies". Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We invariably leverage revolutionary e-business, reconfigurable super-intra-B2B, co-branded compelling R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think strategic, vertical. We have proven we know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also deploy perfectly. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C, resource-constrained, B2C2B killer all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be virtual? Think cross-platform. Think magnetic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be mission-critical, 24/7/365? Google is the industry leader of distributed, resource-constrained initiatives. We will enhance the power of social networks to brand. Think cyber-user-defined. We realize that if you target perfectly then you may also transform extensibly. If you morph compellingly, you may have to actualize virally. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The technologies factor is impactful. We will scale the aptitude of power shifts to upgrade. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, markets are forced to become dynamic. Think robust. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic, revolutionary transparent re-sizing and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Google is the industry leader of B2C2B, granular data hygiene. Without R&D reports, you will lack e-markets. The Total Quality Management factor is short-term. We will extend our capacity to enable without decrementing our capability to harness. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deliver transparently than to integrate micro-iteravely. We will increase our capacity to maximize without diminishing our power to target. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our partnerships but our ability to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Without R&D, you will lack e-tailers.