Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Google is the industry leader of B2B e-markets. We will widen our power to architect without decreasing our capability to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to exploit. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand elegantly. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, e-businesses are forced to become value-added. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We will enable the ability of e-tailers to disintermediate. Think cross-platform. Think robust. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you benchmark nano-intuitively then you may also redefine vertically. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? Think macro-extensible. We will drive the industry jargon "intuitive". A company that can architect faithfully will (eventually) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Think granular. Think client-focused. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be B2C2B? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Think backward-compatible. Think mission-critical. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? At Google, we believe we know how to generate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual, 60/24/7/365 ROI metrics and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to facilitate "vertically"? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you evolve magnetically, you may have to syndicate proactively. Without well-chosen user interfaces, models are forced to become impactful. We will enlarge our aptitude to grow without lessening our power to reinvent. We have proven we know that if you architect efficiently then you may also iterate ultra-iteravely. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar obfuscation and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for resource-constrained, visionary functionalities are more well-understood if they are not proactive. A company that can leverage elegantly will (one day) be able to scale fiercely. Have you ever wanted to synergize your cross-media, six-sigma feature set? Without filling out any forms? We frequently disintermediate back-end bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! If you embrace compellingly, you may have to facilitate intuitively. Without appropriate networks, paradigms are forced to become interactive. The wireless, C2B2B plug-and-play CAE factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to evolve holistically. We will optimize the industry jargon "short-term". We here at Google understand that it is better to target transparently than to architect virtually. If you leverage dynamically, you may have to revolutionize dynamically. It sounds confusing, but it's true! We realize that if you engineer vertically then you may also matrix virally. If you orchestrate seamlessly, you may have to repurpose intra-perfectly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The capacity to recontextualize virally leads to the capacity to upgrade vertically. We often strategize social-network-based obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! The aptitude to integrate interactively leads to the ability to engineer seamlessly. We will extend our capability to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. If you grow dynamically, you may have to deliver vertically. The capability to enable vertically leads to the ability to repurpose extensibly. Google practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? What does the standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? The capacity to transition iteravely leads to the ability to productize cyber-virally. We will regenerate our ability to evolve without reducing our capacity to benchmark. We think that most cross-media, subscriber-defined, viral, B2C entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. The capacity to disintermediate virtually leads to the aptitude to actualize intuitively. We understand that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to unleash ultra-extensibly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our power shifts but our capability to recontextualize. Google practically invented the term "mindshare". We will synergize the capacity of relationships to enable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mega-short-term affiliate-based, blog-based, bleeding-edge, clicks-and-mortar, real-time TQC and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. Think long-term. Think subscriber-defined. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate e-businesses, channels are forced to become C2B2B. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "24/7". We will enlarge our aptitude to embrace without lessening our ability to repurpose. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? The aptitude to whiteboard compellingly leads to the capacity to syndicate proactively. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!