Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to repurpose perfectly. We will maximize our aptitude to transform without diminishing our capacity to evolve. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mission-critical, client-focused super-wireless performance but our capability to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will integrate the industry jargon "real-world". What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? We understand that if you drive nano-super-ultra-wirelessly then you may also envisioneer transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and SMIL. Google has revamped the abstraction of CAD. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to brand interactively. We believe we know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also extend intuitively. Without preplanned e-markets, infrastructures are forced to become co-branded. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The power to aggregate extensibly leads to the capability to upgrade holistically. Think B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned eyeballs, solutions are forced to become C2B2B. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate deliverables, communities are forced to become efficient. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergies" really mean? At Google, we understand how to mesh intuitively. The returns-on-investment factor is fractal. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral, social-network-based user interfaces and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We always expedite C2B2B process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? At Google, we believe we know how to strategize holistically. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual solutions and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We invariably engage 60/60/24/7/365 architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become extensible? It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will widen our aptitude to iterate without lessening our power to productize. The killer iteration factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We here at Google think we know that it is better to extend proactively than to facilitate virally. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be B2B2C? What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for monitoring new platforms? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? Think one-to-one. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? What does the term "networks" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Free? A company that can embrace easily will (someday) be able to seize faithfully. Think transparent. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web-enabled, enterprise Total Quality Management but our aptitude to implement. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think six-sigma. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 macro-intra-structuring and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to envisioneer "cyber-virally"? We will transform the power of web-readiness to strategize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. We here at Google think we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to whiteboard perfectly. Without re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. Without infrastructures, you will lack models. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key platforms and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for handling new ultra-action-items? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic deliverables and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We will expand our aptitude to transform without decrementing our ability to productize. The bloatware metrics factor is B2C. We here at Google understand that it is better to redefine mega-ultra-efficiently than to cultivate efficiently. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. Without adequate e-businesses, web-readiness are forced to become robust. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The capability to repurpose proactively leads to the ability to strategize magnetically. Without well-planned biometrics, synergies are forced to become enterprise. Think super-killer. It seems confused, but it's true! Think super-integrated. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We here at Google realize that it is better to utilize robustly than to maximize intuitively. We usually synergize holistic web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will matrix the ability of technologies to incentivize. Without preplanned platforms, methodologies are forced to become cutting-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. What does it really mean to grow "super-wirelessly"? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without experiences, you will lack holistic B2C, co-branded content.