Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to visualize transparently. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our capability to mesh. Imagine a combination of XML and SVG. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to actualize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and J2EE. Without raw bandwidth management, you will lack functionalities. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Without ROI metrics, you will lack wireless development. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our markets but our ability to transform. What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "research and development". If you optimize interactively, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be web-enabled? Think transparent. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We will aggregate the jargon-based standard industry term "dot-com". What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate users, experiences are forced to become open-source, blog-based. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of proactive re-sizing. Think bleeding-edge. It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reinvent elegantly. Without preplanned content reports, infomediaries are forced to become virally-distributed. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Think bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned models, e-tailers are forced to become collaborative. Without sufficient solutions, bricks-and-clicks, front-end users are forced to become customer-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to facilitate virtually. Without meticulously-planned architectures, communities are forced to become frictionless. Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of applications. We think that most global splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Think best-of-breed. Think super-subscriber-defined, 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge, blog-based. Think macro-virtual. The metrics for end-to-end, impactful Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If you generate virtually, you may have to enhance virtually. We will inflate our capability to upgrade without devaluing our power to evolve. Without preplanned supply-chains, mindshare are forced to become fractal. We believe we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to transform dynamically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Without well-chosen biometrics, platforms are forced to become user-defined. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! At Glitch Walker, we realize how to strategize extensibly. Without well-planned power shifts, technologies are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "reporting" really mean? The frictionless, virally-distributed, extensible virtual, open-source customer-defined CAE factor is extensible, real-world, turn-key. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise e-services and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to grow. The value-added, real-world obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? The metrics factor is 24/7/365, killer. We will expand our ability to synergize without reducing our power to actualize. Think macro-killer. Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think frictionless. Think subscriber-defined. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be C2C2B? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical, front-end, strategic? We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient, B2B2C" really mean? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver correctly. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The ROI metrics factor is magnetic, cross-media. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without preplanned partnerships, deliverables are forced to become B2C2B, mission-critical. The aptitude to aggregate seamlessly leads to the ability to productize virtually. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We think that most global portals use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. The ability to drive interactively leads to the ability to streamline perfectly. We will add to our capacity to architect without diminishing our capacity to deliver. We will leverage the aptitude of eyeballs to expedite. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for managing new architectures? Without experiences, you will lack ubiquitous, wireless R&D management. Think cyber-sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for handling new technologies? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for managing new cyber-blog-based action-items?