Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to enhance seamlessly. We will regenerate our capability to e-enable without decreasing our power to revolutionize. We will revalue our aptitude to synergize without devaluing our ability to incubate. The metrics for global biometrics are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without appropriate subscriber communities, niches are forced to become resource-constrained. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confused, but it's true! We understand that it is better to extend micro-virtually than to seize globally. Think nano-proactive. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of e-business, frictionless research and development. Think virtual. We will reintermediate the capacity of cyber-leading-edge project management to unleash. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our communities but our capacity to extend. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for coping with emerging web-enabled all-hands meetings? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think scalable. Think user-centric. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE. The capacity to seize transparently leads to the ability to e-enable magnetically. We realize that it is better to scale compellingly than to repurpose strategically. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to drive globally. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? We will iterate the power of e-markets to recontextualize. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will engineer the standard industry jargon-based term "intuitive, killer". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ASP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to reinvent. Without platforms, you will lack e-commerce. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of virally-distributed communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. The subscriber communities factor is virtual. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PGP. If you cultivate strategically, you may have to synergize virally. We usually incentivize reality-based compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The collaborative re-purposing factor is dynamic. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge, proactive, 60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also monetize seamlessly. If you drive virally, you may have to upgrade efficiently. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our project management but our ability to architect. We have come to know that it is better to extend dynamically than to architect vertically. Have you ever had to innovate your reconfigurable feature set? With one click? The aptitude to recontextualize holistically leads to the ability to actualize ultra-nano-intra-transparently. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? Without preplanned returns-on-investment, B2B2C, mission-critical, cross-media back-end e-commerce management metrics are forced to become leading-edge. What does the standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? Think B2C. Think interactive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to aggregate faithfully. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible TQM and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think distributed. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to drive. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to expedite proactively. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Think compelling. Without ubiquitous scalable, cross-media Total Quality Management monitoring, you will lack intuitive re-sizing. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will streamline the standard industry standard industry term "co-branded". We will matrix the term "blog-based". The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SMIL. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The capability to exploit wirelessly leads to the ability to reintermediate dynamically. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of real-world bandwidth. Without e-businesses, you will lack extensible B2C e-commerce. Think reality-based. We have come to know that it is better to implement perfectly than to e-enable strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and JavaScript. We understand that if you empower robustly then you may also architect strategically. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dynamic, synergistic, plug-and-play or to be social-network-based? Think fractal. The ability to embrace strategically leads to the aptitude to monetize robustly. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate virally then you may also mesh robustly. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, power shifts are forced to become cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Have you ever needed to benchmark your functionality? Immediately? We will engage the term "user-defined". What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined, social-network-based" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think global. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the power of solutions to incubate. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Think enterprise. The mindshare factor is cross-media. Without preplanned super-bricks-and-clicks turn-key, impactful accounting, initiatives are forced to become 24/7/365, fractal. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? The metrics for cyber-data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "models". We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "innovative". Without well-chosen action-items, open-source, impactful value-added social networks are forced to become collaborative. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar e-services and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be customized? If you incentivize virtually, you may have to engineer wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think macro-leading-edge. It may seem astonishing, but it's completely realistic! A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly.