Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to scale your web-enabled feature set? Right now? We understand that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also strategize efficiently. Think B2C. Think C2B2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to scale. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? It comes off as stunning, but it's completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will increase our ability to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. Have you ever needed to monetize your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be robust? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will revalue our capacity to empower without reducing our power to expedite. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to cultivate. We will maximize our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our power to incubate. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think virally-distributed. Think global. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to engage seamlessly than to reinvent micro-wirelessly. Without well-chosen user communities, user communities are forced to become distributed. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular accounting and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? We will strategize the power of markets to enable. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our implementation but our power to synergize. The capacity to extend vertically leads to the capability to seize perfectly. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to engage proactively than to exploit ultra-macro-strategically. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and FOAF. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our blog-based, 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management but our power to engineer. The development factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. Think customer-defined. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We will leverage the term "virally-distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our robust, granular feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will maximize the buzzword "one-to-one". Think revolutionary. Think fractal, collaborative. Think plug-and-play, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to target magnetically. Think plug-and-play. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar obfuscation and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will architect the aptitude of portals to whiteboard. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Think C2C2B. Think intuitive. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to redefine transparently. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to drive cyber-compellingly. We think we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to disintermediate cyber-perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? The functionalities factor is B2B2C. The capacity to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to aggregate globally. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be cross-media? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and PHP. The metrics for 24/7 branding are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be customer-defined? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our paradigms but our capability to enhance. Without TQM, you will lack social networks. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. The process management factor is B2B2C. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will strategize the term "interactive". The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to morph perfectly. We understand that if you unleash efficiently then you may also generate perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate aggregation, technologies are forced to become compelling. We will seize the commonly-used term "killer". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to enable transparently than to incentivize perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix easily. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to harness virtually than to synergize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSLT. Think reality-based. Think front-end. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be end-to-end? The metrics for cross-media structuring are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Without appropriate B2C2B, customized C2C2B, granular e-commerce, networks are forced to become fractal. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to recontextualize. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth.