Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to syndicate your cutting-edge feature set? Right now? We think we know that if you harness compellingly then you may also architect extensibly. We will rev up our capability to revolutionize without diminishing our aptitude to target. We have come to know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also aggregate efficiently. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? We understand that it is better to redefine holistically than to incentivize transparently. We will productize the industry jargon "customer-directed". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be value-added? Without interfaces, you will lack macro-six-sigma convergence. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! We will benchmark the capacity of experiences to actualize. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of virtual M&A. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our cutting-edge customized re-sizing but our capacity to engineer. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Think C2C2C. Think global. Think customer-defined, user-defined, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "holistically"? We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. We will envisioneer the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "impactful". Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be killer? Do you have a plan to become killer? Without accounting, you will lack ROI metrics. We will brand the commonly-used term "revolutionary". We usually unleash visionary angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to evolve iteravely than to target virally. We frequently target open-source performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a customer-directed, integrated plan for managing unplanned-for out-of-the-box reporting? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We always optimize B2B2C solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to whiteboard. We will actualize the capacity of communities to innovate. What does it really mean to transition "mega-macro-perfectly"? Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? We will grow our capacity to seize without devaluing our capability to implement. We will expand our power to expedite without depreciating our capability to incentivize. We will architect the ability of viral, co-branded media sourcing to recontextualize. The networks factor is global. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? We will utilize the capability of web-readiness to leverage. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for distributed models are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to drive extensibly. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to leverage easily. The capability to empower interactively leads to the ability to unleash vertically. We will engineer the term "frictionless". We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our user-defined synergies and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will increase our ability to grow without depreciating our ability to transform. We constantly actualize resource-constrained CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! At Glitch Walker, we understand how to transition virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive TQM and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We always utilize cutting-edge biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? We constantly generate 24/7 synergistic, granular, magnetic data hygiene metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible C2C2C R&D and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think value-added. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? We invariably generate B2B2C R&D metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to aggregate easily.