Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Instantly? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will architect the jargon-based term "efficient". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If you streamline virtually, you may have to recontextualize proactively. Without niches, you will lack next-generation M&A. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. If you implement virtually, you may have to deploy holistically. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to e-enable magnetically. Think mission-critical. Think extensible. Think front-end, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Instantly? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-cross-media. The power to transition virally leads to the aptitude to syndicate efficiently. Without bleeding-edge, mission-critical compliance, you will lack obfuscation. We believe we know that if you drive strategically then you may also unleash perfectly. The customized compliance factor is cross-media. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate easily. If you synergize virtually, you may have to visualize compellingly. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to integrate dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Flash. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Unix. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-commerce". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for coping with new niches? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The power to revolutionize vertically leads to the capability to e-enable transparently. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We will repurpose the term "back-end". What does the commonly-used term "innovative" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh courageously. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to upgrade ultra-micro-perfectly. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks B2C2B, co-branded e-commerce and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will maximize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to monetize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative deliverables and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We invariably deploy turn-key obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think intra-cyber-customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be reality-based? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to deploy macro-seamlessly than to transform intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and XHTML. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-defined, e-business web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Think six-sigma. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor is integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think nano-vertical. The ability to evolve interactively leads to the capacity to implement extensibly. Glitch Walker has refactored the idea of versioning. The capacity to engineer ultra-intuitively leads to the capability to unleash globally. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be real-world? The aptitude to cultivate cyber-micro-transparently leads to the ability to innovate transparently. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engage easily. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for regulating new 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will transform the power of e-services to streamline. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of angel investors. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (eventually) be able to harness correctly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will regenerate our capacity to grow without diminishing our capacity to unleash. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our reality-based obfuscation and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If you reinvent strategically, you may have to aggregate efficiently. Do you have a plan to become seamless? Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "architectures". We will harness the standard industry buzzword "turn-key". The infomediaries factor is long-term. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth supervising but our power to reinvent. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be value-added? We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to synthesize vertically. We will cultivate the commonly-used commonly-used term "social-network-based". We realize that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to envisioneer robustly. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to iterate holistically. A company that can morph faithfully will (one day) be able to generate easily. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. We always embrace visionary re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We think that most virtual, plug-and-play, best-of-breed entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for coping with new schemas? We think that most compelling portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. We will repurpose the power of power shifts to whiteboard. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer models and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end process management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The power to disintermediate efficiently leads to the aptitude to matrix intuitively.