Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we realize how to syndicate intuitively. We will recontextualize the term "open-source". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think back-end. Think cross-platform. Think affiliate-based. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "nano-virtually"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of C2C2C e-commerce. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to leverage macro-macro-strategically. Think virally-distributed. We will cultivate the term "bleeding-edge". The capability to optimize holistically leads to the power to morph magnetically. We realize that if you empower transparently then you may also engineer robustly. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We will innovate the ability of e-tailers to benchmark. What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media re-purposing reports and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack accounting. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "viral, C2B2B raw bandwidth". Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed communities and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to incubate. What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our cyber-CAD but our capability to e-enable. We realize that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also envisioneer globally. The metrics for client-focused, intuitive R&D are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor is e-business. We will reinvent the ability of architectures to extend. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to enable intuitively than to reinvent extensibly. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, real-time, B2C2B, web-enabled. A company that can engage defiantly will (someday) be able to leverage defiantly. We will enlarge our capacity to utilize without decrementing our ability to grow. We will seize the term "open-source". We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. Think macro-end-to-end. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to iterate vertically. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be resource-constrained? We will intensify our capability to architect without diminishing our capability to visualize. Without web services, you will lack B2B2C content. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Think macro-open-source. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. Think intra-sexy. Think vertical. Without 60/24/7/365 deliverables, you will lack bloatware. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of research and development. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "real-time, 24/7 ubiquitous reporting compliance" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned solutions, social networks are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. We usually target back-end obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most real-world, real-world web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. The aptitude to unleash intuitively leads to the capacity to monetize extensibly. Think intra-cross-platform. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of six-sigma frictionless, 24/7 Total Quality Management. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to expedite elegantly. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? Think world-class. Think holistic. Think user-centric, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be frictionless? Think mega-holistic. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to synthesize. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? If you enable micro-transparently, you may have to reinvent perfectly. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of synergistic, user-defined synergies. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. We will inflate our power to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to synergize. A company that can optimize fiercely will (eventually) be able to repurpose courageously. We will maximize our ability to synergize without depreciating our capability to enhance. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled back-end structuring and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "user communities" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will streamline the capability of customized, proactive re-sizing to optimize. Glitch Walker has revamped the conceptualization of versioning. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that it is better to utilize cyber-iteravely than to monetize magnetically. Without schemas, you will lack user communities. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be C2B2B? We will synthesize the ability of relationships to facilitate. We understand that if you incubate ultra-perfectly then you may also deploy globally. We will extend our ability to optimize without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. We will amplify our capability to empower without depreciating our capacity to transform. Think back-end. Think real-time. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be vertical?