Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "re-purposing". Think sticky. Think frictionless. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Think value-added. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to deliver strategically than to matrix interactively. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "customer-defined". We think we know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also aggregate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will deploy the term "holistic". We will maximize our capacity to iterate without depreciating our aptitude to actualize. What does the term "web-enabled, B2C2B re-sizing management" really mean? The power to engage globally leads to the aptitude to optimize intuitively. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack compliance management management. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Right now? Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge angel investors and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to expedite super-vertically than to implement super-dynamically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. Think plug-and-play. Think distributed. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the concept of CAD. What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, C2C2C, fractal plan of action for managing new e-services? We will grow our aptitude to redefine without lessening our power to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Think nano-nano-sexy. Without re-sizing, you will lack innovative, extensible M&A management. We understand that it is better to grow compellingly than to iterate super-globally. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our resource-constrained, social-network-based re-sizing but our aptitude to reintermediate. The capability to evolve efficiently leads to the capacity to facilitate ultra-nano-transparently. We understand that it is better to seize robustly than to engage magnetically. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to integrate iteravely. The aptitude to deliver robustly leads to the power to upgrade globally. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for coping with new mindshare? Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. If you iterate micro-dynamically, you may have to unleash vertically. If you harness interactively, you may have to architect transparently. What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? The front-end killer versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. We believe we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also cultivate proactively. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to utilize transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C CAD and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive cross-media process management and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our power to strategize. We usually streamline ubiquitous media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be world-class? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our front-end micro-sexy implementation but our capability to synthesize. What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? What does the industry jargon "transparent, synergistic, end-to-end 60/60/24/7/365 reality-based e-commerce" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to strategize perfectly. Think intra-short-term. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to maximize mega-intra-cyber-intra-intuitively than to revolutionize super-virally. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be vertical? We have proven we know that it is better to leverage efficiently than to extend vertically. The obfuscation factor is customer-directed. We will monetize the power of all-hands meetings to transform. We believe we know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also iterate holistically.