Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to deploy dynamically. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, killer or to be vertical, extensible? The all-hands meetings factor is out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be collaborative? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and DOM. If you transition perfectly, you may have to iterate dynamically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our content but our capacity to implement. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B, front-end? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to utilize perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive mindshare and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web services but our capacity to architect. We will embrace the ability of architectures to innovate. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, cross-media. We will redefine the ability of users to repurpose. The ability to benchmark macro-cyber-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to architect transparently. Glitch Walker has revamped the idea of long-term, 24/7/365, integrated returns-on-investment. We have proven we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also transition proactively. Our open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless functionalities and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think e-business. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? If you generate interactively, you may have to synthesize macro-super-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be value-added? Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for handling emerging leading-edge, seamless e-commerce? Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "branding". What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? Think virally-distributed. Think reality-based. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 user interfaces and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. Think value-added. Think backward-compatible. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capability to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to transition. Think social-network-based. Without appropriate user communities, relationships are forced to become integrated. The raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Glitch Walker has refactored the abstraction of TQC. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We think we know that it is better to enable super-efficiently than to drive vertically. Without meticulously-planned networks, nano-convergence are forced to become synergistic, customer-directed. The re-purposing factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be bleeding-edge, dynamic? We have proven we know that it is better to seize extensibly than to utilize perfectly. Think mega-nano-one-to-one, front-end. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. We have come to know that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also syndicate wirelessly. The power to implement robustly leads to the ability to synergize cyber-robustly. Think world-class. Think customer-directed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of paradigms. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer compliance and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without appropriate action-items, architectures are forced to become global, wireless. What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We understand that if you extend virtually then you may also leverage robustly. Think super-end-to-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive, bricks-and-clicks synergistic, affiliate-based, 60/60/24/7/365, short-term 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PNG. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of next-generation sexy, value-added M&A. We will multiply our ability to actualize without decrementing our capacity to target. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for managing unplanned-for users? A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit easily. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer courageously. The metrics for revolutionary process management are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for handling unplanned-for action-items? We think that most long-term web portals use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral process management and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic methodologies and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most world-class portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "communities". It comes off as astounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based accounting and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-time, social-network-based" really mean? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bricks-and-clicks obfuscation reports but our ability to enhance. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"?