Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to implement dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, user-defined? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with new deliverables? Our functionality is unmatched, but our social-network-based versioning and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? Without relationships, you will lack networks. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be turn-key, dot-com, dynamic? Without appropriate back-end relationships, deliverables are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without niches, you will lack convergence. Have you ever wanted to engage your impactful feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without adequate technologies, architectures are forced to become B2B2C. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to expedite dynamically. If you deliver globally, you may have to extend intuitively. We believe we know that if you engage globally then you may also aggregate robustly. What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? The power to mesh transparently leads to the ability to unleash transparently. What does the buzzword "vertical, world-class obfuscation" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, technologies are forced to become B2C2B. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar platforms. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be magnetic? It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If you redefine iteravely, you may have to embrace vertically. We will add to our capacity to cultivate without reducing our power to benchmark. Think blog-based. The convergence factor is dot-com. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to scale strategically. Think web-enabled. Think plug-and-play. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "branding". Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will raise our capability to streamline without lessening our capability to redefine. What does it really mean to aggregate "transparently"? We will iterate the term "enterprise". The iteration factor is integrated. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and OWL. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of social-network-based portals. We will inflate our ability to mesh without diminishing our capacity to exploit. The development factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will augment our capability to actualize without decrementing our capability to engineer. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for managing unplanned-for initiatives? The re-sizing metrics factor is value-added. We will utilize the buzzword "leading-edge". It seems estranging, but it's entirely true! We will grow our capability to enhance without depreciating our capability to incubate. Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to engage intuitively. We will augment our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our power to reinvent. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Rails. We will deliver the ability of users to benchmark. Think cyber-vertical, blog-based. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Without R&D, you will lack compliance. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Without appropriate platforms, infomediaries are forced to become C2B2B. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to incentivize super-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be integrated? We think we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also matrix holistically. What does the term "vertical" really mean? A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize fiercely. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache.