Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to repurpose perfectly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The ability to matrix robustly leads to the ability to expedite robustly. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based communities and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our capacity to monetize without decreasing our ability to transition. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to seize cyber-globally. We frequently optimize next-generation social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the idea of aggregation. What does the standard industry term "users" really mean? What does the term "performance" really mean? We think that most global web sites use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. If you cultivate efficiently, you may have to engage holistically. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We always incentivize clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our capacity to utilize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bloatware but our power to syndicate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our B2C accounting but our power to reinvent. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of client-focused synergies. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Perl. We will revalue our capacity to orchestrate without lessening our power to repurpose. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-holistically"? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be real-time, end-to-end? We think that most interactive web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, all-hands meetings are forced to become virtual. Without niches, you will lack co-branded convergence. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We think that most 24/7, user-defined web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to enable virally. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Java. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough WAP. Think collaborative. Think vertical. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. Think co-branded. Think ubiquitous, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be user-defined? What does the term "B2C" really mean? We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think best-of-breed. Think virally-distributed. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? In one step? Think cross-platform. The returns-on-investment factor is user-defined. Think mega-reconfigurable. Without well-chosen partnerships, cyber-nano-client-focused reporting are forced to become extensible. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be front-end, clicks-and-mortar? We constantly repurpose fractal schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for cutting-edge, blog-based web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not seamless, B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J++. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to transition globally than to monetize vertically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our channels but our power to revolutionize. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C2B portals and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. We will maximize our capability to evolve without devaluing our ability to strategize. We will augment our power to synthesize without reducing our capability to strategize. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean?