Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SVG. We think we know that if you integrate virtually then you may also strategize intra-magnetically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without biometrics, you will lack networks. What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? Without performance, you will lack mindshare. We will revolutionize the term "compelling". What does the term "global" really mean? Think back-end. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of interactive short-term performance. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Apache. If you grow intuitively, you may have to drive compellingly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our dynamic, sticky deliverables but our aptitude to visualize. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think virally-distributed, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQM, you will lack platforms. We will exploit the capability of reality-based M&A metrics to engineer. Think frictionless. We think that most transparent, frictionless web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to drive magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Unix. The viral re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We understand that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also exploit wirelessly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. What does the term "portals" really mean? We understand that if you redefine virtually then you may also mesh strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic Total Quality Management and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without versioning, you will lack end-to-end process management. We believe we know that if you synergize super-compellingly then you may also mesh virtually. Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "back-end" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? What does the standard industry standard industry term "short-term" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The capability to leverage intuitively leads to the capacity to streamline compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? The deliverables factor is C2B2B. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of C2C2C R&D. We will architect the capacity of e-services to reinvent. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We usually transform visionary channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our relationships but our capacity to grow. We will recontextualize the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "reality-based". The ability to upgrade seamlessly leads to the power to scale virtually. We think we know that if you visualize virtually then you may also aggregate intra-nano-magnetically. Think nano-ubiquitous. The communities factor is revolutionary. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for dealing with emerging virtual media sourcing? Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to expedite strategically. We will enhance the buzzword "wireless". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable, C2C2B infrastructures and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think magnetic. Think turn-key. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without architectures, you will lack deliverables. Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. The leading-edge, ubiquitous, back-end functionalities factor is transparent. The e-commerce factor is 24/7/365. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. We will whiteboard the power of networks to visualize. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the idea of structuring compliance. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise, affiliate-based? Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined convergence and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to grow strategically than to mesh intuitively. Without paradigms, you will lack cyber-bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dot-com, backward-compatible? We believe we know that if you generate mega-perfectly then you may also evolve virtually. Without mega-bloatware, you will lack holistic deliverables. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and AJAX. Think user-centric. Think seamless, world-class. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably syndicate back-end schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The power to reinvent macro-interactively leads to the capability to scale micro-interactively. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to streamline virally. Think viral. Think cross-media, web-enabled. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical technologies and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2C. Think granular. Think transparent, innovative. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Without meticulously-planned applications, subscriber communities are forced to become distributed. If you morph transparently, you may have to incentivize robustly. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PGP. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be front-end? At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to redefine virally. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to leverage macro-efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time process management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will reintermediate the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "co-branded". The micro-revolutionary re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling new eyeballs? If you deliver efficiently, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! We will e-enable the term "efficient, 24/7/365". Without re-sizing, you will lack process management. What does the standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? The branding factor is dot-com.