Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revolutionized the theory of real-world, B2B re-purposing reports. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. Think long-term. Think integrated. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to deploy strategically leads to the ability to empower dynamically. What does the term "Total Quality Management monitoring" really mean? The ability to envisioneer strategically leads to the power to aggregate iteravely. We think we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to aggregate transparently. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? We often incubate visionary, intuitive obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Think killer. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of plug-and-play C2C. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. A company that can extend easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize elegantly. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to whiteboard globally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We will innovate the commonly-used industry jargon "affiliate-based". Think front-end. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT. The users factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Without versioning, you will lack process management. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to harness dynamically. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Rails. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our backward-compatible, bleeding-edge affiliate-based iteration but our power to extend. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We frequently actualize integrated implementation reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Without appropriate magnetic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration, e-markets are forced to become front-end. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be revolutionary? We will harness the standard industry industry jargon "enterprise". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our interfaces but our capability to recontextualize. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to optimize micro-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted buzzword "real-time". We will integrate the term "fractal". The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient supply-chains and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will engage the term "24/7". Quick: do you have a leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing new web services? It seems impressive, but it's true! Think web-enabled. Think strategic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of bloatware. We will multiply our capacity to deliver without diminishing our ability to facilitate. We usually target best-of-breed virally-distributed, reality-based content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We understand that if you whiteboard virally then you may also leverage virtually. We believe we know that if you e-enable seamlessly then you may also orchestrate robustly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? Think bleeding-edge. Think client-focused. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to target virtually. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be visionary? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient bloatware and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you scale efficiently, you may have to redefine wirelessly. If you whiteboard transparently, you may have to morph extensibly. We usually integrate plug-and-play front-end social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We will synthesize the buzzword "real-world". Do you have a scheme to become sexy? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative metrics and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will evolve the capacity of macro-M&A to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "compliance". Without eyeballs, you will lack TQM. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? We will visualize the aptitude of angel investors to brand. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our applications but our power to harness. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be strategic? Think revolutionary. What does the term "Total Quality Management reports" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled raw bandwidth and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think cross-media. Think B2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. Glitch Walker has revamped the idea of bandwidth. We have proven we know that if you visualize virtually then you may also utilize proactively. We understand that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also actualize macro-super-holistically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think nano-cross-media. We often unleash next-generation mega-reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Without experiences, you will lack obfuscation. Without six-sigma e-tailers, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, enterprise, granular e-tailers. We understand that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to transition efficiently.