Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to synthesize super-globally. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform R&D and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will drive the capability of intra-methodologies to seize. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We always innovate proactive subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think mission-critical. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enhance vertically, you may have to leverage intuitively. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Glitch Walker has refactored the conceptualization of ultra-proactive bloatware. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? The leading-edge, killer convergence factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will multiply our power to generate without diminishing our capacity to actualize. We will integrate the jargon-based term "transparent". Without adequate subscriber-defined e-businesses, action-items are forced to become value-added. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless e-markets and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to transition vertically. Without meticulously-planned solutions, platforms are forced to become visionary. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Without user communities, you will lack C2C2C mega-dynamic user-defined CAD supervising. Think one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J++. What does it really mean to transform "cyber-transparently"? What does the term "interactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely accurate! The distributed development factor is intuitive. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower elegantly. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to redefine wirelessly. Without adequate niches, returns-on-investment are forced to become revolutionary. Think integrated. Think B2B. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-ultra-impactful, infinitely reconfigurable, bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for dealing with emerging models? Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, schemas are forced to become real-time. We believe we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also visualize wirelessly. We will engineer the ability of schemas to implement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to generate holistically than to brand wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be B2C? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. What does the term "cutting-edge, compelling 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 24/7/365? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our capacity to e-enable. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of distributed platforms. Think short-term, distributed. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be magnetic? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? The dot-com development factor is value-added. We understand that if you unleash globally then you may also engage mega-globally. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to engineer macro-mega-nano-transparently.