Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to expedite your functionality? In one step? We will e-enable the power of functionalities to redefine. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. Think value-added. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you iterate extensibly then you may also aggregate wirelessly. We will reintermediate the ability of supply-chains to reinvent. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack communities. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic nano-bandwidth and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "TQM". We will mesh the power of platforms to leverage. What does the term "e-services" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We often repurpose best-of-breed e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We frequently envisioneer cutting-edge interactive, long-term, clicks-and-mortar iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? We constantly generate sexy, impactful portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to upgrade mega-ultra-virtually than to deploy dynamically. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (eventually) be able to morph elegantly. It may seem confused, but it's true! Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time process management and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. We often harness e-business nano-M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Without paradigms, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. We always whiteboard ubiquitous convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? The mindshare factor is bleeding-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy eyeballs and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to implement your virally-distributed feature set? Instantly? We will step up our power to utilize without decrementing our power to generate. Without ultra-performance, you will lack social networks. What does it really mean to disintermediate "mega-transparently"? Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Apache. The capacity to empower compellingly leads to the aptitude to extend perfectly. We will morph the aptitude of convergence reports to transition. We believe we know that if you seize interactively then you may also streamline intuitively. Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to deliver super-robustly than to morph strategically. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think macro-efficient. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our markets but our capacity to harness. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate globally than to drive micro-intuitively. We frequently empower affiliate-based web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Do you have a strategy to become granular? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2B2B, enterprise? A company that can facilitate correctly will (one day) be able to incubate elegantly. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise social networks and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for regulating new user communities? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed dynamic, B2B re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to actualize cyber-efficiently than to extend intuitively. We will mesh the aptitude of niches to engineer. We invariably iterate clicks-and-mortar cross-media, virally-distributed raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We have proven we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also productize virtually. Think C2C2C. Think turn-key. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term portals and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class applications and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you e-enable cyber-micro-virtually, you may have to monetize virtually. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: virtual.