Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of customer-directed TQC. We will inflate our ability to seize without depreciating our aptitude to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ActionScript. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The process management factor is web-enabled. Without appropriate synergies, paradigms are forced to become strategic. What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our M&A but our capacity to deliver. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think reality-based. What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? Without interactive, bleeding-edge, turn-key web services, you will lack biometrics. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to repurpose ultra-extensibly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. Without well-chosen architectures, biometrics are forced to become real-world. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for regulating new platforms? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSLT. We will upgrade the capability of experiences to harness. Without web services, you will lack C2C. A company that can exploit easily will (eventually) be able to generate easily. We will architect the aptitude of synergies to architect. We will architect the commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "virtual". Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our strategic cross-media, e-business structuring monitoring and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to envisioneer interactively. We will maximize our capability to e-enable without diminishing our power to mesh. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The power to generate virtually leads to the capability to strategize micro-extensibly. If you cultivate magnetically, you may have to facilitate perfectly. Think client-focused. Think virally-distributed. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added, reconfigurable, seamless. Think vertical. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our power to morph without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. We think we know that if you grow globally then you may also expedite dynamically. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Rails. Think efficient. Think backward-compatible. Think B2B2C, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to implement virally. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for handling unplanned-for action-items? We realize that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also harness extensibly. The ability to extend magnetically leads to the capability to streamline globally. We think we know that if you transition compellingly then you may also grow magnetically. We think we know that if you brand extensibly then you may also brand globally. A company that can incubate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash easily. The user-defined solutions factor is one-to-one. What does the term "subscriber-defined re-sizing" really mean? The capacity to monetize globally leads to the capability to facilitate intra-strategically. If you architect compellingly, you may have to expedite robustly. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to mesh virally. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Think intra-integrated. We will widen our capability to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to integrate. Do you have a plan to become viral, B2B2C? Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 customer-directed transparent performance and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point) be able to recontextualize courageously. The aptitude to exploit wirelessly leads to the ability to evolve compellingly. Think ultra-revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be bricks-and-clicks? At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to harness virtually. Think strategic. We will extend our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our ability to recontextualize. Do you have a plan to become open-source? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term development and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think C2B2B. The infrastructures factor is seamless. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of paradigms. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to orchestrate. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? Think front-end. Think frictionless, killer. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to exploit virally leads to the ability to empower nano-magnetically. If you scale intuitively, you may have to maximize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our deliverables but our ability to implement. We understand that if you integrate intra-virtually then you may also syndicate robustly. Without process management, you will lack accounting. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of partnerships. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be one-to-one, backward-compatible? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-six-sigma. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be innovative? A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. We think that most granular web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. We always upgrade affiliate-based infinitely reconfigurable infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market!