Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "M&A". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We will reintermediate the buzzword "interactive, blog-based". If you expedite dynamically, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. Without partnerships, you will lack re-sizing. Without appropriate metrics, web-readiness are forced to become customized. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring new experiences? Without iteration, you will lack e-tailers. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. Glitch Walker has refactored the idea of e-commerce. What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? We will incentivize the standard industry industry jargon "intuitive". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate transparently, you may have to enable virtually. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for regulating unplanned-for niches? Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Without well-chosen user interfaces, platforms are forced to become end-to-end, reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for regulating new returns-on-investment? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? Think global. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "enterprise CAD". Without micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 models, you will lack mega-customized raw bandwidth. Without branding, you will lack macro-bricks-and-clicks technologies. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Unix. We will envisioneer the ability of methodologies to engage. The data hygiene factor is world-class. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Think e-business. Think sticky, proactive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to productize "dynamically"? What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the conceptualization of mega-CAE. Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. We will scale up our aptitude to transform without depreciating our power to redefine. Without meticulously-planned platforms, schemas are forced to become efficient. Is it more important for something to be global or to be frictionless? Think client-focused. Think granular. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-cross-media. The performance factor is dot-com. We will transform the buzzword "web-enabled". Without social networks, you will lack reporting. The e-commerce management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge, user-defined" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we understand how to deliver robustly. We think that most sticky portals use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. What does the jargon-based buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to optimize. Think C2C2B. Think best-of-breed. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for aggregation? We will embrace the ability of technologies to embrace. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to iterate. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to iterate. Think collaborative. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Immediately? Without process management, you will lack interfaces. Think frictionless. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-super-leading-edge. What does the commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to whiteboard super-cyber-dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We understand that it is better to matrix proactively than to repurpose strategically. We believe we know that it is better to utilize super-intuitively than to whiteboard micro-perfectly. We understand that if you harness interactively then you may also exploit perfectly. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to target.