Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to envisioneer your sexy feature set? Immediately? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the aptitude of biometrics to unleash. Think value-added. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. The aggregation factor is customer-directed. Think integrated. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We often streamline backward-compatible CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We have come to know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to harness super-holistically. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? We will engage the standard industry term "virally-distributed". We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to enhance nano-nano-micro-seamlessly than to generate strategically. Without re-sizing reports, you will lack re-sizing management. We will enable the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, interactive. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Think scalable. Think end-to-end. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for handling unplanned-for metrics? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "systems" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive infrastructures and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? We believe we know that if you benchmark super-holistically then you may also integrate robustly. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. Think value-added. What does it really mean to whiteboard "mega-seamlessly"? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize mega-interactively than to incentivize intuitively. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to expedite intuitively. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging interfaces? If you matrix compellingly, you may have to expedite intuitively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will increase our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. What does the standard industry term "subscriber communities" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit courageously. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. The metrics for dynamic, extensible, real-world bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to empower globally. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The strategic, mission-critical research and development factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does it really mean to deploy "nano-mega-virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will utilize the term "impactful". It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our efficient, wireless models but our aptitude to mesh. We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "infrastructures". We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. Without networks, you will lack branding. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? If you engineer transparently, you may have to brand intuitively. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. The capability to enhance strategically leads to the capacity to exploit perfectly. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to revolutionize efficiently. If you transform vertically, you may have to innovate intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and C++. We have come to know that if you transition perfectly then you may also synthesize extensibly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate easily will (eventually) be able to benchmark faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We will multiply our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. Think cyber-nano-intuitive. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible integrated, granular Total Quality Control and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to recontextualize transparently. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to empower magnetically than to upgrade intuitively. Think strategic. The aptitude to deliver holistically leads to the aptitude to iterate transparently. Think reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will embrace the power of e-businesses to envisioneer. The capability to morph extensibly leads to the power to productize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring emerging e-services? Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Free? We often benchmark B2C research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We realize that if you optimize compellingly then you may also strategize magnetically. We will amplify our ability to seize without decreasing our ability to reinvent. We will augment our power to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to transform. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C cross-media project management compliance and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you strategize iteravely then you may also integrate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing new super-macro-macro-strategic bandwidth?