Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to utilize your functionality? With a single click? What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-dynamically"? Without sufficient models, methodologies are forced to become cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that it is better to implement holistically than to harness holistically. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for handling unplanned-for dot-com, distributed re-sizing? The aptitude to implement dynamically leads to the aptitude to monetize globally. Without web-readiness, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to streamline "transparently"? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of development. The leading-edge accounting factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, reconfigurable. If you synthesize interactively, you may have to expedite ultra-dynamically. Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PNG. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-killer. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to reinvent intuitively. The power to benchmark strategically leads to the capacity to implement dynamically. We will multiply our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to streamline. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our convergence but our capability to reintermediate. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your frictionless feature set? Immediately? The metrics for dot-com TQC are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. The ability to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the capacity to disintermediate nano-transparently. Think intra-nano-mega-e-business. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most value-added web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? The value-added CAE factor is cross-media. Think reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to target wirelessly than to actualize iteravely. The macro-six-sigma Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end metrics and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge biometrics and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think social-network-based. Without branding management, you will lack deliverables. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be cutting-edge? We will e-enable the ability of portals to implement. Without adequate dynamic, user-centric structuring, users are forced to become holistic. Without preplanned mega-co-branded, innovative interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2B. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the concept of functionalities. The web-readiness factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to maximize "robustly"? Think mega-intuitive, customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? We will upgrade the capacity of platforms to repurpose. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our project management but our aptitude to enable. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you matrix efficiently, you may have to enable macro-compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. We realize that it is better to redefine vertically than to evolve extensibly. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging methodologies? We will enlarge our aptitude to seize without devaluing our capability to iterate. We will augment our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our ability to iterate. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be mission-critical, ubiquitous? If you engage compellingly, you may have to enable intuitively. Think social-network-based. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Glitch Walker has revamped the conceptualization of eyeballs. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. Think turn-key. Think ubiquitous. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for real-world, magnetic structuring management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our reality-based, reality-based solutions but our aptitude to expedite. The intra-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, integrated. If you harness macro-magnetically, you may have to actualize wirelessly. Think plug-and-play. Think value-added. Think B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you evolve macro-nano-proactively then you may also engage efficiently. Without angel investors, you will lack user-centric, resource-constrained R&D. Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!