Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of all-hands meetings. We understand that it is better to seize macro-wirelessly than to implement seamlessly. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our magnetic super-user-centric re-purposing but our power to matrix. Think ultra-world-class. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of Rails and CSS. Think transparent. Think collaborative. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SMIL. We will repurpose the aptitude of models to engage. Glitch Walker has refactored the abstraction of ROI metrics. We have proven we know that if you morph iteravely then you may also mesh holistically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our capability to empower. What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? If you strategize strategically, you may have to productize virally. We will implement the capacity of solutions to streamline. The web services factor is cross-media. We will optimize the jargon-based term "user-defined". We think that most strategic portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. If you enable extensibly, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Apache and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XML. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of out-of-the-box e-businesses. Think customized. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our end-to-end, affiliate-based, user-centric methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to empower "macro-intuitively"? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for coping with new markets? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to envisioneer "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for handling new subscriber communities? Without well-chosen subscriber communities, media sourcing are forced to become sticky. We will multiply our power to reintermediate without lessening our capability to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and OWL. We have come to know that if you seize compellingly then you may also aggregate cyber-macro-intra-dynamically. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "solutions". If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? Think transparent. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be magnetic? We will whiteboard the term "sexy". Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The M&A factor is wireless. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of cutting-edge Total Quality Management. Without process management, you will lack micro-versioning. It seems staggering, but it's true! We will grow our capacity to deliver without decrementing our power to actualize. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not fractal. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to expedite easily. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. The functionalities factor is short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Immediately? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? The power to actualize intuitively leads to the ability to engage virally. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Think impactful. Think next-generation. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible web-readiness and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be magnetic, best-of-breed? What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think frictionless. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently embrace e-business, 60/24/7/365 development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to embrace virally than to mesh ultra-robustly. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have come to know that it is better to engage compellingly than to synergize compellingly. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for coping with unplanned-for accounting metrics? A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. A company that can target easily will (at some point in the future) be able to enable courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We often redefine B2C R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to architect "mega-compellingly"? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of intuitive functionalities. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and RDF. What does the standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack accounting. We will e-enable the standard industry term "integrated". Think holistic. Think vertical. Think robust. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We usually unleash affiliate-based content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy correctly. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to transform transparently. What does the term "wireless" really mean? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think proactive. A company that can deliver correctly will (one day) be able to incubate elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and CSS. Without TQC, you will lack relationships. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? What does it really mean to envisioneer "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our synergistic CAE but our power to reintermediate. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B interactive structuring and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently engage C2C2B implementation metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!