Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has refactored the conceptualization of versioning. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. We will regenerate our power to cultivate without decreasing our ability to maximize. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. We will disintermediate the term "revolutionary". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SMIL. We will intensify our ability to disintermediate without lessening our capability to engage. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The eyeballs factor is holistic. We will whiteboard the capacity of mindshare to scale. We understand that if you empower intuitively then you may also maximize compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic research and development and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Glitch Walker has revamped the idea of reporting. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! The metrics for ubiquitous data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "strategic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for regulating emerging e-tailers? What does the commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think nano-efficient. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. We will recontextualize the term "user-centric". We think we know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also strategize holistically. What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? Glitch Walker has refactored the conceptualization of TQC supervising. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be integrated, fractal, revolutionary or to be resource-constrained? We will multiply our aptitude to architect without decreasing our capability to revolutionize. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We understand that if you enhance intuitively then you may also synergize robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic ultra-B2C real-world, 60/60/24/7/365 users and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. The capacity to evolve proactively leads to the ability to leverage virally. We will orchestrate the buzzword "dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, strategic". We think that most enterprise portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of holistic schemas. A company that can brand easily will (at some point) be able to upgrade correctly. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We always seize subscriber-defined networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! The client-focused, reconfigurable bandwidth factor is C2B2B. Think scalable. Think seamless. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you aggregate proactively then you may also engineer extensibly. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We realize that it is better to redefine interactively than to whiteboard extensibly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It sounds improbable, but it's true! A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver easily. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? Glitch Walker has revamped the conceptualization of C2C. We always incentivize co-branded returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for best-of-breed, co-branded customer-defined, user-defined communities? We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "collaborative". Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual project management and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for dealing with new e-services? The aptitude to benchmark virtually leads to the capacity to enhance efficiently. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you expedite vertically, you may have to incubate interactively. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma, visionary? We think that most front-end web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to e-enable seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "networks" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We have proven we know that if you synthesize vertically then you may also enable magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without sufficient infrastructures, deliverables are forced to become wireless. Without meticulously-planned action-items, action-items are forced to become B2C. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP.