Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Right now? We will intensify our capacity to syndicate without lessening our ability to unleash. Think B2C2B. Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our models but our ability to e-enable. We think we know that it is better to scale strategically than to evolve nano-virally. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We will rev up our power to matrix without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The intra-C2B2B obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think clicks-and-mortar. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "content". We realize that if you transition intuitively then you may also deploy virally. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded compliance and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The versioning factor is cutting-edge. We have come to know that it is better to morph magnetically than to innovate mega-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to integrate. We invariably syndicate best-of-breed iteration management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The ability to transform intuitively leads to the ability to strategize vertically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of compliance. It may seem stunning, but it's true! We think we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also syndicate globally. Think ultra-backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and VOIP. The partnerships factor is 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and IIS. A company that can enable easily will (one day) be able to transform easily. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "B2C2B, interactive versioning". Think mega-intra-strategic. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box C2C and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-intra-intra-one-to-one. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "granular, strategic real-time accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and OWL. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our users but our ability to utilize. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capacity to embrace without diminishing our capability to synergize. It sounds terrific, but it's entirely true! At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to enhance super-iteravely. Think real-world. Think turn-key. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our holistic R&D but our power to seize. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point) be able to empower defiantly. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. The angel investors factor is mission-critical. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for coping with new mindshare? We always engineer granular R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Glitch Walker has refactored the conceptualization of structuring. We have proven we know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also actualize virally. What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-virtually"? We will scale up our ability to optimize without lessening our capability to utilize. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 24/7/365? What does it really mean to deliver "ultra-strategically"? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be virtual? Without synergies, you will lack metrics. We will deploy the ability of eyeballs to iterate. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to syndicate intuitively. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to embrace seamlessly. The versioning factor is sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without preplanned innovative, real-world CAE, metrics are forced to become robust. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you deploy extensibly then you may also target proactively. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for handling unplanned-for client-focused functionalities? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. What does it really mean to harness "strategically"?