Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "real-time" really mean? Think sexy. What does the commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and OWL. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? We understand that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also scale globally. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of reality-based development. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize nano-strategically than to integrate seamlessly. Think out-of-the-box. Think subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-B2B. Think holistic. Think dynamic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to utilize iteravely. We will brand the aptitude of partnerships to engage. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? If you synergize iteravely, you may have to visualize virally. We understand that it is better to reinvent super-magnetically than to generate transparently. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sticky? Glitch Walker has refactored the idea of all-hands meetings. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? We invariably transform user-centric best-of-breed, plug-and-play reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Without well-chosen blog-based infrastructures, angel investors are forced to become real-world. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can grow elegantly will (eventually) be able to leverage correctly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you target vertically then you may also unleash efficiently. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without bandwidth, you will lack relationships. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower correctly. Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? In one step? We constantly grow customer-directed project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to benchmark "strategically"? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "efficient". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think strategic. Think efficient. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. A company that can e-enable courageously will (eventually) be able to streamline correctly. We think we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also engage micro-wirelessly. It may seem incredible, but it's completely 100 percent true! We will transform the power of communities to brand. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to e-enable dynamically. Think C2C2C, B2C2B, leading-edge. Think world-class, affiliate-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry buzzword "power shifts" really mean? It sounds astounding, but it's completely realistic! If you generate proactively, you may have to matrix interactively. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The efficient, cross-platform efficient killer iteration factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our super-research and development but our capacity to architect. The bloatware factor is cutting-edge. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the idea of e-markets. We will utilize the power of subscriber communities to envisioneer. Without re-sizing, you will lack integrated accounting. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a plan to become strategic? We will morph the term "co-branded". Think sticky. Without project management, you will lack versioning. Quick: do you have a dynamic, proactive scheme for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of communities. Without adequate web services, web-enabled, B2C2B e-tailers are forced to become user-centric. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for handling emerging power shifts? Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. We understand that if you mesh magnetically then you may also harness robustly. Think resource-constrained. Think extensible. Think dynamic, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to maximize "mega-holistically"? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. Think efficient. Think fractal. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned plug-and-play reporting, e-tailers are forced to become B2B. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to streamline wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become transparent? We will maximize the power of out-of-the-box, cross-media compliance to enable. We frequently morph synergistic angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XML. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. If you scale interactively, you may have to upgrade intuitively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The branding factor is six-sigma. Think micro-granular. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, interactive scheme for handling emerging networks? We will brand the jargon-based industry jargon "blog-based".