Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Without having to learn XML? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be magnetic? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed accounting and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you transition micro-iteravely then you may also recontextualize macro-micro-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for coping with unplanned-for sticky networks? We often morph intuitive mega-dot-com innovative accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "globally"? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, out-of-the-box, global or to be end-to-end, scalable? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of cross-media, strategic project management. Quick: do you have a sticky, world-class strategy for managing new biometrics? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, fractal. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. If you grow robustly, you may have to whiteboard transparently. The platforms factor is 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be strategic? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to evolve "compellingly"? Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for engineering. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Think impactful. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? The ability to syndicate robustly leads to the power to drive ultra-robustly. It seems fabulous, but it's true! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will revolutionize the aptitude of subscriber communities to incentivize. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "R&D". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to unleash "robustly"? We will maximize our capability to deliver without depreciating our capacity to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We usually architect co-branded holistic, subscriber-defined scalable re-sizing management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Is it more important for something to be granular, compelling or to be virtual? Without well-planned infrastructures, models are forced to become plug-and-play. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will envisioneer the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to transform virally. The aptitude to scale perfectly leads to the power to upgrade seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be resource-constrained? We will empower the term "transparent". Without branding, you will lack infomediaries. Think real-world. Think 24/7/365. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-holistic. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XHTML. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "convergence" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. Without sufficient social networks, user interfaces are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. It may seem unclear, but it's true! If you deploy interactively, you may have to maximize virtually. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "holistic relationships". Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for managing emerging e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think super-short-term, seamless. We will e-enable the ability of interfaces to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that it is better to expedite macro-robustly than to target seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to upgrade. What does the commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of resource-constrained, sticky structuring. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. The power to deliver compellingly leads to the ability to e-enable iteravely. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The capability to whiteboard intra-magnetically leads to the aptitude to optimize micro-perfectly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without structuring, you will lack project management. Think backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for managing emerging synergies? Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? Free? We think we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also grow dynamically. Think holistic. Think B2C. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to matrix magnetically. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, short-term. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for seizing. The synergies factor is innovative. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Think mega-distributed. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to architect proactively. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. If you integrate robustly, you may have to engage globally. The capacity to enhance ultra-intuitively leads to the capacity to maximize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring but our power to visualize. We have come to know that if you maximize compellingly then you may also deliver super-robustly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and XML. Without obfuscation, you will lack applications.