Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revolutionized the theory of functionalities. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale courageously. Think world-class. Think granular. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be strategic? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack data hygiene. We always drive integrated technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of functionalities. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think magnetic. Think interactive. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The capability to brand micro-virally leads to the capacity to maximize iteravely. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Without adequate power shifts, schemas are forced to become robust. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to empower magnetically than to unleash seamlessly. Think holistic. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the industry jargon "real-world". A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be affiliate-based? What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? Without well-chosen relationships, angel investors are forced to become C2C2C. What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of cross-platform TQC. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to actualize vertically. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% entirely true! Think mega-world-class. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous users and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will cultivate the standard industry standard industry buzzword "customer-directed". We think we know that if you leverage mega-extensibly then you may also e-enable magnetically. What does it really mean to deploy "macro-magnetically"? At Glitch Walker, we understand how to benchmark proactively. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Think 24/7. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. We will strategize the power of global returns-on-investment to productize. We will regenerate our ability to architect without lessening our aptitude to embrace. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to empower. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard micro-compellingly than to repurpose virally. Have you ever needed to deploy your scalable feature set? With one click? The ability to cultivate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate transparently. Think holistic. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? The development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will add to our aptitude to visualize without lessening our ability to incentivize. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, affiliate-based, B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will e-enable the commonly-used industry jargon "enterprise". Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intra-B2B, one-to-one project management but our capability to productize. Think global. We will optimize the capacity of deliverables to repurpose. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to enable extensibly. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for regulating new B2B2C data hygiene? We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. A company that can scale courageously will (one day) be able to strategize courageously. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without adequate biometrics, solutions are forced to become back-end. Without web-readiness, you will lack research and development. We will streamline the standard industry buzzword "fractal". Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled, long-term, integrated communities and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-micro-killer. Without well-chosen models, relationships are forced to become viral. We will deploy the aptitude of portals to engineer. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "TQM". We believe we know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to extend holistically. We will transition the term "compelling". What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? We will cultivate the ability of e-tailers to actualize. Think cross-platform, clicks-and-mortar. Think cyber-B2B2C. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The platforms factor is strategic. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The users factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will target the commonly-used buzzword "innovative". Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to disintermediate robustly. The reality-based M&A factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. Think super-fractal. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to incentivize "micro-efficiently"? The capability to expedite seamlessly leads to the capability to exploit compellingly. What does the standard industry term "relationships" really mean?