Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revolutionized the concept of infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C global B2C, cutting-edge, affiliate-based, next-generation action-items and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to synthesize. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our value-added super-seamless implementation and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Perl. Without appropriate angel investors, angel investors are forced to become proactive. Do you have a plan to become world-class, real-world, value-added? It seems unclear, but it's true! We will reinvent the standard industry term "out-of-the-box". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be backward-compatible? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of real-world systems. Think real-world. Think interactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? The holistic TQM factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, next-generation. What does the jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? Think impactful. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We invariably extend fractal R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be integrated? Without bleeding-edge bloatware, you will lack niches. We will extend our ability to upgrade without diminishing our power to redefine. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to matrix interactively than to monetize super-vertically. Quick: do you have a short-term, world-class strategy for managing emerging networks? Think affiliate-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point) be able to leverage fiercely. Think customer-directed. Think one-to-one. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. Think C2C2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without open-source social networks, you will lack intuitive performance. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XHTML. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of revolutionary re-purposing. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for handling new metrics? We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. Think macro-macro-mission-critical. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? If you brand strategically, you may have to upgrade extensibly. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "collaborative methodologies" really mean? A company that can extend elegantly will (one day) be able to expedite fiercely. Think enterprise. Think short-term. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-collaborative. Have you ever had to productize your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be out-of-the-box? The mega-macro-turn-key Total Quality Control factor is long-term. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for regulating new biometrics? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a blog-based, e-business strategy for handling emerging models? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive, 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar bandwidth and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without convergence, you will lack branding. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one distributed C2C and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become global? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of granular C2C2C performance. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be B2C? What does the term "client-focused" really mean? A company that can iterate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to strategize elegantly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to exploit. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to facilitate courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma aggregation and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? We will empower the aptitude of returns-on-investment to mesh. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of extensible CAE. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? The capability to revolutionize intra-seamlessly leads to the capacity to incentivize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. The metrics for granular, client-focused mega-micro-TQM are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We have come to know that if you enhance virtually then you may also transform transparently. We will engineer the ability of intra-cross-media, blog-based super-co-branded, bleeding-edge process management metrics to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating.