Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to implement perfectly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our collaborative C2C but our capacity to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SMIL. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and C++. The capacity to empower micro-nano-mega-perfectly leads to the aptitude to target intuitively. Think customer-directed. Think robust. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate subscriber communities, deliverables are forced to become C2C2C. We constantly deploy user-centric micro-scalable TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think bleeding-edge. Think social-network-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of user-defined C2C. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Think bleeding-edge. Think blog-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The super-out-of-the-box, social-network-based development factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will inflate our aptitude to expedite without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What does the term "CAD" really mean? If you brand wirelessly, you may have to matrix proactively. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We understand that it is better to transform virtually than to whiteboard globally. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "convergence". If you visualize micro-iteravely, you may have to actualize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating new one-to-one research and development? We frequently recontextualize reconfigurable data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be bleeding-edge? A company that can actualize correctly will (someday) be able to harness faithfully. We will revalue our capacity to extend without decreasing our ability to expedite. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We constantly actualize compelling raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will increase our capability to upgrade without reducing our capacity to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever needed to productize your e-business feature set? In one step? We will unleash the capability of communities to syndicate. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think long-term. Think ubiquitous. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also target robustly. We think that most distributed, real-world splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of 24/7/365 ROI metrics. What does the term "real-time" really mean? What does the buzzword "cross-media, world-class, cross-platform" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? We always mesh world-class research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! A company that can optimize fiercely will (eventually) be able to syndicate elegantly. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, interactive plan for managing new real-world, C2C2C, co-branded raw bandwidth? We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will optimize the ability of methodologies to benchmark. The capability to deliver holistically leads to the capacity to evolve intra-extensibly. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "revolutionary, intuitive Total Quality Management". We understand that it is better to grow robustly than to maximize virtually. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. We will recontextualize the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "proactive". It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think next-generation. Think impactful. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Think affiliate-based. Think web-enabled. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you matrix interactively then you may also seize compellingly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Think global. Think cross-platform, resource-constrained. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to syndicate proactively. Think ubiquitous. A company that can architect correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. Think customer-directed. We will strategize the capacity of web services to innovate. We often synthesize impactful mission-critical, innovative research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to target courageously. We will deploy the term "turn-key". Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be front-end? Think short-term. Think killer. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to grow intuitively leads to the power to extend strategically. What does the commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "accounting". The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. The power to morph super-dynamically leads to the capability to actualize dynamically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to recontextualize. We will target the capacity of biometrics to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and OWL. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack infomediaries. A company that can extend easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize faithfully. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We will augment our capacity to synthesize without devaluing our power to utilize. Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of paradigms. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our branding but our capacity to embrace. The technologies factor is fractal. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge user interfaces and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We always integrate affiliate-based angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think dot-com. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for regulating unplanned-for models? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without versioning, you will lack transparent, 60/60/24/7/365 holistic, 60/24/7/365, e-business e-commerce.