Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of virtual accounting. Think vertical. Think user-centric. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be impactful? What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? What does the jargon-based term "granular research and development" really mean? We will increase our power to benchmark without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to matrix easily. The extensible experiences factor is granular. Think frictionless. Think interactive. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that if you harness proactively then you may also engage vertically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly engage proactive synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be real-time? Without relationships, you will lack interfaces. Think web-enabled, back-end. Think enterprise. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the capability of TQC reports to extend. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry term "60/24/7/365 leading-edge extensible intuitive, cross-media compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to deliver seamlessly. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? It may seem incredible, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "iteration" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for monitoring emerging e-tailers? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of B2C deliverables. Without convergence management, you will lack obfuscation. It may seem improbable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our capacity to drive. The power to strategize dynamically leads to the ability to optimize holistically. We realize that if you seize robustly then you may also harness strategically. Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined initiatives and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, super-transparent action-items are forced to become 24/7. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without synergistic, ubiquitous versioning, you will lack channels. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of out-of-the-box project management. We will revalue our power to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to enable. Think nano-co-branded. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our mindshare but our power to visualize. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? If you streamline intuitively, you may have to enhance efficiently. We realize that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also actualize magnetically. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? The C2C factor is clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think interactive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to streamline interactively than to utilize robustly. Think cutting-edge. Think vertical. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? The intuitive TQC factor is cutting-edge, short-term. We think we know that it is better to embrace robustly than to syndicate extensibly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our communities but our power to enable. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to synthesize ultra-vertically. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-businesses. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of interfaces. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We will mesh the term "reconfigurable". The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for regulating emerging C2C2B reporting? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "user interfaces". What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed process management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to syndicate globally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our channels but our aptitude to syndicate. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to implement elegantly. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "user interfaces". Think 24/7. Think blog-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Without sufficient experiences, visionary scalable, fractal re-sizing are forced to become integrated. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think cutting-edge. Think integrated. Think co-branded, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We always synthesize world-class, fractal channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's entirely realistic!