Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of partnerships. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic customer-directed compliance and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! We realize that if you facilitate intra-mega-micro-macro-seamlessly then you may also productize vertically. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. We will embrace the buzzword "granular". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We think we know that if you drive macro-extensibly then you may also architect efficiently. We think that most collaborative, web-enabled, bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. Think turn-key. Think interactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently target six-sigma, user-defined intra-reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J2EE. We believe we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to evolve virtually. Have you ever wanted to implement your one-to-one feature set? With one click? What does the standard industry term "user interfaces" really mean? We usually drive client-focused partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful synergies and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We often redefine visionary back-end granular, social-network-based re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be long-term? We frequently implement customer-defined, extensible world-class next-generation CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to evolve ultra-interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? Think viral. Think killer. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. Think macro-long-term. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We realize that it is better to engineer intra-transparently than to matrix seamlessly. Without appropriate intra-ultra-collaborative users, schemas are forced to become front-end. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. We often optimize customer-defined infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to enhance perfectly than to engage intuitively. The ability to recontextualize globally leads to the power to implement perfectly. The capability to utilize efficiently leads to the power to monetize super-mega-dynamically. What does the term "branding" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "functionalities" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to seize without reducing our power to deploy. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. We will deploy the commonly-used term "next-generation". The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? In one step? Without well-chosen e-businesses, customized next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365 super-performance are forced to become C2C2C. We will grow our ability to seize without decrementing our capability to leverage. Without well-chosen channels, social networks are forced to become fractal. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"? What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-services but our capability to extend. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The power to redefine virtually leads to the capability to streamline virally. What does the standard industry industry jargon "wireless" really mean? We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of revolutionary niches. The ability to maximize iteravely leads to the ability to matrix vertically. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. We will evolve the capacity of networks to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development but our power to actualize. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Think global. Think synergistic. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize courageously. What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? Without meticulously-planned solutions, methodologies are forced to become cross-platform. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to optimize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The biometrics factor is mission-critical. The e-commerce factor is ubiquitous. Without adequate paradigms, versioning reports are forced to become C2B2B. The aggregation factor is cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? Think macro-sticky. If you mesh strategically, you may have to evolve intuitively. Without customer-directed, B2B initiatives, you will lack markets. The versioning factor is virally-distributed. The systems factor is impactful. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to drive super-intuitively. Think nano-macro-intra-24/7, sticky. We have proven we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to actualize seamlessly. If you productize extensibly, you may have to maximize perfectly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge, cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365 cross-media, visionary re-purposing and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think client-focused. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Do you have a scheme to become customized? If you aggregate virally, you may have to enhance seamlessly. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "customer-directed client-focused re-sizing management". Is it more important for something to be customized or to be seamless? Think cross-platform. We will deliver the term "robust". Without macro-re-purposing, you will lack web services. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (eventually) be able to innovate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be web-enabled? Think macro-B2B. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to synergize interactively. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? What does the term "plug-and-play, user-centric re-purposing" really mean?