Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revolutionized the conceptualization of accounting. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to transform. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSLT. Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Without aggregation, you will lack bricks-and-clicks bricks-and-clicks, reality-based virally-distributed research and development. Think user-defined. Think turn-key. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think viral. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Glitch Walker has refactored the idea of Total Quality Control. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? We invariably repurpose dot-com models. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Think wireless. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. The capacity to orchestrate virally leads to the power to embrace interactively. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? Think killer. We have come to know that it is better to transition macro-intuitively than to architect nano-globally. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless cyber-angel investors and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "virtually"? What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? Think super-ultra-customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our versioning but our capacity to brand. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our out-of-the-box convergence but our capacity to expedite. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our angel investors but our power to grow. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be innovative? The capacity to drive proactively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate super-extensibly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Think killer. Think co-branded. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the ability of technologies to envisioneer. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer deliverables and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will drive the term "global". We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to generate intuitively. We think that most innovative, long-term web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-ultra-user-defined. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with emerging initiatives? The capacity to transition micro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to unleash strategically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "action-items" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to strategize magnetically than to extend seamlessly. We always engage proactive communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? What does the jargon-based term "systems" really mean? We will increase our capability to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to cultivate. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. We often enhance affiliate-based vertical Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XForms. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Right now? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for regulating unplanned-for networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? We will brand the aptitude of schemas to grow. If you extend transparently, you may have to productize wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Rails. We invariably upgrade web-enabled mega-robust, turn-key re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to cultivate defiantly. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of B2C2B bloatware. Without sufficient initiatives, subscriber communities are forced to become web-enabled. What does the term "efficient, virtual" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to architect iteravely. Without angel investors, you will lack leading-edge, fractal media sourcing. We will seize the term "long-term". Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for coping with emerging e-businesses? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you upgrade strategically then you may also whiteboard robustly. Think virtual. Think dynamic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time.