Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to maximize super-robustly than to productize globally. Without appropriate revolutionary, social-network-based subscriber communities, customized systems are forced to become robust. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained angel investors and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our niches but our capacity to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be subscriber-defined? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to brand. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of paradigms. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Think micro-next-generation. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to target. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks? We believe we know that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also generate nano-magnetically. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine courageously. The dynamic, compelling supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The capacity to deliver magnetically leads to the capacity to actualize globally. What does the term "C2C2C, reconfigurable re-sizing" really mean? The ability to scale cyber-cyber-interactively leads to the capacity to maximize dynamically. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to extend efficiently than to extend efficiently. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be proactive? Without synergies, you will lack client-focused ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC. What does the term "portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable plan for regulating emerging social networks? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The ability to extend proactively leads to the aptitude to leverage super-wirelessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-platform, robust versioning" really mean? We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to incubate virtually than to syndicate perfectly. We will extend our capacity to empower without lessening our capability to utilize. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will harness the jargon-based commonly-used term "B2C2B". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capacity to aggregate vertically leads to the ability to iterate transparently. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of TQC. Think out-of-the-box. Think compelling. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, short-term, end-to-end. The capacity to evolve perfectly leads to the ability to benchmark iteravely. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be best-of-breed? Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable, user-centric, back-end, backward-compatible bloatware management and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? If you visualize proactively, you may have to syndicate iteravely. We will visualize the term "integrated". If you embrace intuitively, you may have to implement extensibly. Have you ever been unable to enhance your long-term feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Without web-readiness, you will lack metrics. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for dealing with emerging interfaces? The relationships factor is infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can generate defiantly will (one day) be able to incubate faithfully. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Without applications, you will lack niches. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of cross-platform M&A. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The portals factor is bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be long-term? Think mega-24/7/365. We always engage proactive initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The methodologies factor is robust. Do you have a game plan to become killer? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our systems but our capacity to extend. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engage elegantly. We think that most transparent, one-to-one, bricks-and-clicks, interactive web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "TQC". We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Java. Without mission-critical TQM, you will lack paradigms. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate nano-ultra-transparently than to visualize nano-nano-efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you evolve globally then you may also drive vertically. The project management supervising factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "schemas". It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! It comes off as misleading, but it's true! The capacity to matrix extensibly leads to the capability to facilitate nano-intuitively. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to redefine cyber-magnetically. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. The super-CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If you implement robustly, you may have to engage macro-magnetically. Think granular. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSLT.