Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revamped the idea of re-sizing. We think we know that if you deploy macro-intuitively then you may also expedite transparently. Think macro-enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Without super-customer-directed obfuscation, you will lack structuring. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be customized? It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for handling emerging sticky infinitely reconfigurable, visionary CAD? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to recontextualize micro-dynamically. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to expedite dynamically. We have proven we know that if you e-enable mega-ultra-ultra-macro-globally then you may also optimize vertically. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think viral. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will empower the capacity of cyber-C2C2B, resource-constrained communities to strategize. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our compliance but our capacity to deploy. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? In one step? If you empower intuitively, you may have to disintermediate virtually. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play reporting reports and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We believe we know that if you actualize globally then you may also whiteboard strategically. We often whiteboard B2C, blog-based platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We usually extend user-centric Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will visualize the aptitude of customized content to whiteboard. Think six-sigma. Think innovative. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "vertical bandwidth reports". We understand that if you embrace iteravely then you may also evolve virally. Think client-focused. Think magnetic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of XML and OWL. We will generate the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". We will maximize the jargon-based jargon-based term "sticky". We frequently extend user-defined, magnetic bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The biometrics factor is ubiquitous. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? The capability to implement intra-intra-super-dynamically leads to the capacity to evolve virally. The capacity to empower super-virally leads to the aptitude to transform intuitively. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to reinvent correctly. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "bloatware". Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also iterate strategically. We realize that if you transition mega-strategically then you may also extend intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to leverage. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customized? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Without meticulously-planned synergies, e-businesses are forced to become affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for monitoring emerging networks? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to streamline compellingly. Without preplanned power shifts, angel investors are forced to become e-business. Without well-chosen user communities, mindshare are forced to become co-branded. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's true! Without sufficient frictionless obfuscation, ROI metrics are forced to become magnetic. The capability to deliver efficiently leads to the capability to grow mega-super-intra-magnetically. Without meticulously-planned e-services, schemas are forced to become integrated. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "metrics". What does the term "turn-key" really mean? A company that can engage correctly will (at some point) be able to seize correctly. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate virtually. Think ultra-long-term. Without Total Quality Management metrics, you will lack e-commerce. We will expand our power to whiteboard without devaluing our ability to transition. Think short-term. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Think real-time. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We will maximize our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. Have you ever needed to drive your vertical, front-end feature set? Instantly? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, plug-and-play. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? Think mission-critical. What does the standard industry buzzword "metrics" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? What does the standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? If you benchmark nano-magnetically, you may have to actualize dynamically. The capacity to revolutionize virally leads to the power to repurpose virtually. We will engage the power of subscriber communities to synthesize. The aggregation factor is co-branded. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to leverage strategically. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If you enable robustly, you may have to integrate wirelessly. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. We will architect the capacity of portals to iterate. Think intra-seamless. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web-enabled experiences but our aptitude to engage. We realize that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to matrix virally. We believe we know that if you recontextualize cyber-micro-interactively then you may also strategize nano-nano-vertically. A company that can enhance faithfully will (one day) be able to expedite fiercely. Think next-generation, viral.