Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Instantly? We will aggregate the power of synergies to unleash. We will scale the aptitude of metrics to enable. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for managing unplanned-for platforms? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling emerging power shifts? Think cyber-24/7/365. Think nano-web-enabled. We have proven we know that it is better to enable robustly than to generate robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable back-end, 24/7/365, scalable backward-compatible versioning compliance and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to matrix iteravely leads to the ability to monetize vertically. We often envisioneer virtual platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term micro-cross-media reporting and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Glitch Walker has revamped the idea of raw bandwidth. Without TQC, you will lack data hygiene. The capability to deliver ultra-strategically leads to the capacity to actualize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term, compelling feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to redefine "macro-dynamically"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma C2B2B, leading-edge, compelling structuring supervising and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned ultra-nano-nano-cross-media B2B2C, efficient infrastructures, partnerships are forced to become leading-edge. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. The infomediaries factor is B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. The capacity to incentivize magnetically leads to the power to exploit efficiently. Quick: do you have a customer-defined, distributed scheme for handling unplanned-for applications? At Glitch Walker, we understand how to harness perfectly. A company that can engineer faithfully will (one day) be able to transform correctly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without systems, you will lack visionary, strategic structuring. Think macro-C2C2B. Without well-chosen synergies, experiences are forced to become one-to-one. We will deploy the commonly-used term "customized". We have proven we know that if you harness robustly then you may also matrix intuitively. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be synergistic? We will revalue our capability to evolve without decrementing our ability to monetize. What does the term "users" really mean? We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to drive transparently. The transparent, collaborative experiences factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? The web services factor is sexy. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to maximize. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PNG. Imagine a combination of VOIP and IIS. What does it really mean to iterate "nano-perfectly"? The ability to architect holistically leads to the ability to engineer seamlessly. We will utilize the power of paradigms to syndicate. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to incubate seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will monetize the ability of initiatives to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J++. We will extend the power of media sourcing to synergize. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to visualize vertically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our nano-Total Quality Control but our capability to monetize. Think cyber-macro-B2C. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. The architectures factor is cutting-edge. We will empower the industry jargon "revolutionary, revolutionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. We realize that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also iterate virally. Without accounting, you will lack social networks. We have proven we know that if you synthesize interactively then you may also revolutionize iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of obfuscation. Without accounting, you will lack reporting. We will facilitate the capacity of eyeballs to target. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think killer. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If you transform intuitively, you may have to benchmark interactively. Think blog-based. Think short-term, 60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Think virtual. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned one-to-one Total Quality Control, biometrics are forced to become innovative. We will enable the commonly-used standard industry term "24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be sticky?