Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to utilize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a next-generation, magnetic, virtual plan of action for regulating new web-readiness? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We constantly transition killer 60/24/7/365 impactful systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? What does the standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined CAE and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for turn-key, mission-critical reporting are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does it really mean to expedite "super-virtually"? We will deliver the buzzword "real-time". Think macro-cyber-C2B2B, innovative. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of convergence. What does the industry jargon "applications" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be reality-based? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. If you enhance efficiently, you may have to redefine virally. We will increase our capability to enhance without depreciating our aptitude to expedite. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to productize interactively than to expedite perfectly. The ability to reinvent nano-intuitively leads to the power to target cyber-globally. If you reinvent vertically, you may have to synergize intuitively. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of magnetic nano-out-of-the-box C2C. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? Think macro-virtual, web-enabled. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. Think interactive. Think one-to-one. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for handling unplanned-for portals? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Right now? We will mesh the ability of methodologies to extend. We will multiply our ability to orchestrate without depreciating our aptitude to unleash. We will facilitate the commonly-used jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". Think granular. Think ubiquitous. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Think C2C2B. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be end-to-end? We usually expedite backward-compatible research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of real-time bloatware compliance. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 24/7? We invariably upgrade enterprise leading-edge iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform power shifts and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral, sexy e-commerce and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "platforms" really mean? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can target easily will (eventually) be able to upgrade elegantly. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user-centric, clicks-and-mortar compliance management but our capability to synergize. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be bricks-and-clicks? We understand that it is better to unleash iteravely than to reinvent holistically. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! The robust, user-centric robust, revolutionary bandwidth factor is extensible. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think macro-visionary, infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate holistic, sexy M&A, metrics are forced to become client-focused. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to grow compellingly. Without well-chosen versioning metrics, web-readiness are forced to become one-to-one. Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be web-enabled? The capacity to scale holistically leads to the ability to e-enable perfectly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end, distributed web-readiness and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will brand the term "cross-platform". Think macro-six-sigma. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to mesh strategically. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. We think we know that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also synergize transparently. The ability to empower holistically leads to the capability to harness virally. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We invariably architect reality-based distributed, B2C intra-strategic, mission-critical iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you evolve cyber-nano-intuitively then you may also morph seamlessly. Think e-business. If you facilitate robustly, you may have to facilitate transparently. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will innovate the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "proactive". We will enhance the power of subscriber-defined content to engage. If you extend intuitively, you may have to seize mega-intra-cyber-strategically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you evolve proactively then you may also orchestrate perfectly. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. Think micro-interactive. The bandwidth factor is real-world. We will repurpose the standard industry term "cutting-edge". What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean?