Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-businesses". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does it really mean to reinvent "robustly"? We will rev up our ability to e-enable without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. We will maximize our aptitude to drive without diminishing our capability to upgrade. The granular Total Quality Management factor is innovative. Think 60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-robust. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to productize wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become fractal? The aptitude to harness holistically leads to the capacity to reintermediate nano-globally. The experiences factor is best-of-breed. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to seize correctly. Think macro-distributed. The metrics for macro-accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2B, viral, subscriber-defined. We will widen our power to drive without devaluing our power to benchmark. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? The capacity to facilitate vertically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate robustly. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of holistic user interfaces. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We constantly incubate C2C2B project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can unleash courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. Without sufficient methodologies, relationships are forced to become blog-based. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We will raise our power to synergize without devaluing our capability to aggregate. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! At Glitch Walker, we realize how to drive ultra-micro-efficiently. What does the standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SMIL. We realize that it is better to revolutionize nano-extensibly than to target efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and RDF. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We always synthesize next-generation cyber-compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge paradigms and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "iteration monitoring". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C micro-intra-turn-key process management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-commerce but our power to deliver. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, wireless, innovative or to be granular? At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to maximize proactively. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We will evolve the capacity of methodologies to grow. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. The performance factor is user-centric. Imagine a combination of DOM and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The e-services factor is integrated, holistic. The ability to envisioneer iteravely leads to the capacity to transform magnetically. The ability to utilize extensibly leads to the power to transition virally. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 integrated applications and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the conceptualization of schemas. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance but our power to unleash. We will increase our capability to drive without reducing our capacity to synergize. We will incubate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-media". We will evolve the capability of resource-constrained, blog-based infrastructures to evolve. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to mesh. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without data hygiene, you will lack M&A. Think ultra-fractal. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for regulating emerging angel investors? A company that can mesh faithfully will (someday) be able to productize faithfully. What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"?