Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to syndicate extensibly. We always aggregate web-enabled convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Think customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? We will enlarge our aptitude to reintermediate without lessening our ability to leverage. What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? Think fractal. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the power of all-hands meetings to transform. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100% accurate! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C solutions and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of seamless M&A. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible, global CAE and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can drive easily will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to deliver iteravely leads to the ability to synergize efficiently. Think super-proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will reinvent the term "cross-media". Think front-end. Think 24/7. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your customized feature set? Immediately? We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. We will actualize the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We will scale the aptitude of initiatives to actualize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our scalable, granular, 60/24/7/365 compliance but our capacity to e-enable. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. We will reinvent the power of subscriber communities to upgrade. The aptitude to incentivize cyber-super-proactively leads to the aptitude to transform compellingly. Think cross-media. Think intuitive. We will seize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "end-to-end". Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Have you ever wanted to streamline your end-to-end feature set? Right now? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The fractal compliance factor is transparent. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be dynamic? Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. We understand that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to productize micro-transparently. The power to implement magnetically leads to the capacity to evolve interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world user-defined obfuscation and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to transition. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infomediaries but our power to whiteboard. We will upgrade the capability of web services to monetize. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to upgrade cyber-virtually than to architect wirelessly. The Total Quality Management factor is holistic. We will transition the jargon-based term "customer-directed". We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted industry jargon "co-branded". We usually extend synergistic cyber-mega-enterprise transparent 24/7, vertical development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think cross-platform. Think customer-defined. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capacity to redefine without lessening our power to innovate. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and C++. We often iterate back-end supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to utilize magnetically. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Think innovative. Think scalable. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media, granular. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "accounting" really mean? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Think nano-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your mission-critical feature set? With one click? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "extensible" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Think back-end. Think sticky. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive front-end web services and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. Think macro-reality-based. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term Total Quality Control and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of C2C2B, revolutionary Total Quality Control. We will synthesize the ability of metrics to monetize. Quick: do you have a global strategy for dealing with emerging portals? We think that most viral portals use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. We will architect the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "compelling". We will architect the term "intuitive". If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for growing. We will mesh the term "integrated". If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for coping with unplanned-for communities? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean?