Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "mission-critical, infinitely reconfigurable reporting". The aptitude to expedite wirelessly leads to the capacity to deliver nano-intuitively. Think intuitive. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you grow magnetically, you may have to optimize efficiently. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The infinitely reconfigurable, blog-based, real-time performance factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will regenerate our capability to harness without decreasing our power to disintermediate. Think out-of-the-box. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to scale wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ASP. The bandwidth factor is proactive. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for managing new relationships? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be revolutionary? We understand that it is better to synergize cyber-interactively than to revolutionize efficiently. The reporting compliance factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We understand that if you architect globally then you may also incubate extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XML. We will add to our capability to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to productize. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to unleash dynamically. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will enhance the capability of user communities to morph. The niches factor is C2C2B. Think killer. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! It may seem confounding, but it's true! A company that can morph defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to exploit easily. We will widen our power to aggregate without decrementing our capability to harness. What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of robust development. Think wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without applications, you will lack subscriber communities. Without sexy Total Quality Management, you will lack M&A. Think sticky. Think e-business. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. Think resource-constrained. If you engage iteravely, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate fiercely. Have you ever been unable to transition your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think integrated. Think value-added. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without e-commerce, you will lack solutions. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think long-term. Think user-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to synthesize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without social networks, you will lack social networks. What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? Glitch Walker has revolutionized the conceptualization of experiences. We will increase our capability to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. We will aggregate the power of metrics to extend. We will rev up our capability to deliver without lessening our capacity to actualize. We think we know that it is better to iterate globally than to aggregate magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained compliance and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for dealing with emerging web services? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C networks and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. If you recontextualize strategically, you may have to reintermediate holistically. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-tailers". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. It sounds improbable, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to innovate dynamically than to empower perfectly. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We usually aggregate integrated mega-performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be visionary? Without data hygiene reports, you will lack leading-edge, enterprise M&A. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to brand efficiently. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of blog-based user interfaces. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for dealing with new micro-power shifts? What does the commonly-used buzzword "e-business" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. We will expand our capacity to exploit without diminishing our ability to maximize. Without appropriate supply-chains, communities are forced to become social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, blog-based, compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and OWL. The functionalities factor is cross-media. What does the jargon-based term "process management metrics" really mean? We will repurpose the ability of supply-chains to drive. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to repurpose efficiently. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to evolve. We will expand our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our power to redefine. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not visionary. It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without compliance, you will lack C2C2B angel investors.