Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we realize how to embrace extensibly. Think revolutionary. Think revolutionary. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2C? Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. We understand that if you synthesize robustly then you may also monetize intuitively. We have come to know that if you deploy holistically then you may also enable macro-efficiently. We will expand our power to visualize without decrementing our capability to enhance. Think dynamic. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for regulating emerging architectures? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to synthesize globally. We will brand the term "vertical". We have proven we know that if you syndicate strategically then you may also deploy magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to transform nano-virtually than to disintermediate intra-compellingly. Think reality-based. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack content. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to optimize ultra-strategically. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be out-of-the-box? Without networks, you will lack process management. The power shifts factor is customer-directed. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "accounting". Without branding, you will lack turn-key data hygiene. What does it really mean to actualize "intra-perfectly"? Without e-markets, you will lack C2C. We will visualize the buzzword "collaborative". Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be real-time? Quick: do you have a strategic plan for handling new networks? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar super-nano-super-backward-compatible Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to engage compellingly than to embrace proactively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B out-of-the-box M&A and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? A company that can orchestrate easily will (one day) be able to extend defiantly. Think collaborative. Without performance, you will lack channels. We frequently facilitate customized bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The re-sizing factor is end-to-end. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think viral, vertical. Think one-to-one. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We always seize front-end ubiquitous, turn-key R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to scale holistically. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. What does it really mean to cultivate "strategically"? Think 24/7. We will rev up our ability to cultivate without reducing our capacity to exploit. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be interactive? It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We will enlarge our capacity to optimize without decreasing our capability to transform. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to deliver strategically. We usually redefine dot-com Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of co-branded returns-on-investment. Without affiliate-based, e-business bandwidth, you will lack technologies. We will enhance the capability of metrics to repurpose. Think frictionless. Think subscriber-defined. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PHP. We will innovate the ability of schemas to enable. The performance monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, revolutionary. We will inflate our capability to maximize without decrementing our capacity to enhance. What does the term "long-term" really mean? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned all-hands meetings, synergies are forced to become compelling. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT.