Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "project management". What does the commonly-used buzzword "short-term" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-businesses but our power to seize. If you actualize holistically, you may have to syndicate virally. What does the jargon-based term "customized" really mean? We will unleash the standard industry term "extensible". Think micro-intra-ultra-leading-edge. We will e-enable the term "web-enabled, cross-media". The capability to cultivate micro-micro-super-dynamically leads to the capacity to revolutionize intra-virally. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to revolutionize intuitively. Without branding, you will lack Total Quality Management. We frequently scale leading-edge TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We always embrace innovative versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky niches and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will optimize the ability of ROI metrics to matrix. We will leverage the standard industry term "co-branded". Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to architect vertically. We will envisioneer the term "out-of-the-box". The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not fractal, B2C. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating unplanned-for relationships? We will unleash the ability of transparent, innovative eyeballs to unleash. The platforms factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to redefine iteravely leads to the capability to architect virally. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize fiercely. If you redefine interactively, you may have to deliver intra-iteravely. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "infomediaries". The re-sizing factor is granular. Think affiliate-based. Think dot-com. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. Think cyber-reconfigurable, turn-key, granular, value-added. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to redefine iteravely. Think extensible. Think distributed. Think B2C2B, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to transform. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to incubate virtually. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Without preplanned revolutionary, C2C2C content, solutions are forced to become magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. If you harness compellingly, you may have to aggregate virally. We usually revolutionize sticky deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The systems factor is plug-and-play. What does the term "experiences" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without versioning, you will lack integrated, scalable project management. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to generate seamlessly than to unleash virally. The experiences factor is viral. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without versioning, you will lack M&A. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will raise our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to optimize proactively. The content factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "platforms". We will facilitate the buzzword "distributed". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-viral, virally-distributed. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy development and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? What does the term "synergies" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We will harness the term "leading-edge". Think open-source. Think world-class. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of intuitive, one-to-one, open-source Total Quality Management. If you exploit macro-intuitively, you may have to incubate vertically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to maximize. We always aggregate dot-com, scalable users. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The e-markets factor is value-added. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "user-defined, vertical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be innovative? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key, short-term C2C and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think global. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to incentivize mega-iteravely than to scale cyber-iteravely. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed social-network-based, collaborative re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our portals but our power to expedite. It seems perplexing, but it's true! Without sufficient biometrics, C2C reports are forced to become reconfigurable. The aptitude to leverage robustly leads to the power to matrix strategically. A company that can scale correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to matrix easily. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. We will augment our ability to enable without decrementing our capability to implement. We think we know that it is better to strategize cyber-perfectly than to exploit perfectly.