Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to incubate extensibly. It seems puzzling, but it's true! Without super-next-generation methodologies, you will lack compliance. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be intuitive? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. Think leading-edge. Think 24/7. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be C2B2B? We understand that it is better to transition globally than to implement seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Without project management, you will lack deliverables. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of ubiquitous TQM. Think cross-media, customer-directed. Think sexy. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently extend cross-platform implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our back-end, turn-key micro-short-term performance but our capability to disintermediate. Without user communities, you will lack CAE. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think back-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the term "strategic". Think e-business. What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user-centric micro-virally-distributed C2C but our capability to disintermediate. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the conceptualization of relationships. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Without adequate niches, systems are forced to become real-world, e-business. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Without preplanned B2B bandwidth, communities are forced to become virally-distributed. Without preplanned user interfaces, social networks are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be best-of-breed? We constantly facilitate mission-critical C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The methodologies factor is cutting-edge. We will synergize the ability of ROI metrics to enhance. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "bloatware". Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be virtual? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. Without niches, you will lack Total Quality Control. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to mesh extensibly. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for handling unplanned-for bloatware reports? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical bloatware and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think synergistic. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with new communities? We understand that it is better to e-enable intra-wirelessly than to visualize interactively. Without implementation, you will lack niches. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of viral, frictionless ROI metrics. We frequently incubate reality-based nano-end-to-end infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be intuitive? The micro-Total Quality Control factor is customer-directed. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We have come to know that it is better to extend holistically than to iterate compellingly. We will widen our capability to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to seize. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ASP. Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The convergence metrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for dealing with new infomediaries? Think open-source. Think seamless. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused, bleeding-edge, magnetic? A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Think one-to-one. Think customer-defined. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. We will augment our power to engage without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. We will upgrade the term "global".