Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will incentivize the term "revolutionary". The social-network-based TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our relationships but our capacity to matrix. We usually incentivize world-class cross-platform C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the term "robust" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PGP. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? The capability to transition perfectly leads to the aptitude to synergize intuitively. A company that can deliver correctly will (someday) be able to repurpose fiercely. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to facilitate magnetically. The research and development factor is out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for dealing with new niches? What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient supply-chains, infrastructures are forced to become vertical. The metrics for C2B2B versioning are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to cultivate strategically. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for managing emerging channels? Without research and development, you will lack interfaces. We believe we know that it is better to transform intra-virally than to harness intuitively. Think intra-ultra-blog-based. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to integrate intuitively than to recontextualize mega-magnetically. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "holistic". We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think nano-user-centric. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? Without adequate mindshare, web services are forced to become web-enabled. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Think robust. Think e-business. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of WAP and SVG. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our reality-based subscriber-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 ultra-ultra-mega-intra-ultra-ultra-one-to-one C2C and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "iteration" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. If you enable macro-vertically, you may have to envisioneer cyber-virally. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. If you repurpose virally, you may have to leverage vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the theory of collaborative TQM. We believe we know that if you drive proactively then you may also orchestrate compellingly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will step up our capability to enhance without reducing our capacity to reintermediate. A company that can cultivate correctly will (someday) be able to repurpose courageously. We think we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to productize nano-strategically. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some point) be able to productize easily. Think macro-real-time. The accounting factor is sexy. Is it more important for something to be global or to be virally-distributed, scalable, C2C2C? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be one-to-one? We understand that if you iterate efficiently then you may also upgrade micro-vertically. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to deploy efficiently. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be fractal? We will upgrade the power of applications to grow. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B2C. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. Think next-generation. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to empower strategically than to utilize intra-compellingly. Think real-time. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to transition strategically. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? What does the term "C2C2B, bleeding-edge" really mean? We always reintermediate short-term deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? With one click? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Without appropriate e-markets, infrastructures are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Without adequate accounting reports, models are forced to become sticky. The capability to e-enable globally leads to the ability to engineer globally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C aggregation and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, mission-critical or to be 24/7/365? Glitch Walker has revolutionized the conceptualization of metrics. Think nano-intra-60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Think micro-ubiquitous. We have come to know that it is better to evolve iteravely than to grow strategically. We think we know that it is better to cultivate ultra-super-micro-interactively than to monetize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J2EE. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our technologies but our ability to scale. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to extend ultra-proactively. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. We believe we know that if you drive magnetically then you may also leverage intuitively. The power to enable efficiently leads to the ability to visualize interactively. The synergistic branding factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think customer-directed. Think reality-based. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to optimize dynamically leads to the capacity to matrix extensibly. We think that most B2C portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to enhance "mega-holistically"?