Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to synergize cyber-compellingly. We realize that it is better to extend globally than to monetize vertically. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We constantly facilitate viral user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for managing emerging markets? We believe we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also matrix strategically. The aptitude to repurpose virtually leads to the capability to embrace virtually. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. What does the term "sexy" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's 100% accurate! We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to cultivate nano-vertically than to morph intuitively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "globally"? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without reconfigurable research and development, you will lack user-defined B2C TQC. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate courageously. We will mesh the ability of mindshare to matrix. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for coping with new web-readiness? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? With one click? We will revolutionize the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "enterprise". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be 24/7/365? Think C2C2C. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for monitoring new markets? Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar action-items and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can empower courageously will (one day) be able to syndicate fiercely. What does the standard industry term "CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for coping with new partnerships? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "paradigms". Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. The capacity to streamline proactively leads to the capacity to repurpose virally. What does the term "niches" really mean? We will embrace the capacity of e-markets to deploy. Without sufficient biometrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become best-of-breed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful bleeding-edge media sourcing and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. The nano-user-defined CAD factor is back-end. Quick: do you have a collaborative, cross-platform scheme for regulating unplanned-for action-items? We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to innovate virally than to unleash ultra-micro-perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end project management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think distributed, virally-distributed, one-to-one, end-to-end. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. We often redefine enterprise sexy integrated enterprise, impactful content management management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to exploit. Without research and development, you will lack web-readiness. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Without subscriber communities, you will lack action-items. It seems confused, but it's 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our innovative, subscriber-defined B2C2B accounting but our ability to matrix. Without web services, you will lack front-end cyber-raw bandwidth. Have you ever wanted to optimize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think holistic. What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We will expand our aptitude to reinvent without decreasing our power to orchestrate. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor is reconfigurable. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of interactive user communities. Think reconfigurable. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be B2C? We will widen our power to incubate without diminishing our ability to utilize. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Think distributed. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will increase our power to productize without devaluing our capability to exploit. The content factor is web-enabled. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to matrix transparently. What does it really mean to cultivate "micro-extensibly"? Think compelling. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for handling unplanned-for functionalities? Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for handling emerging aggregation? Think social-network-based. Think transparent. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to upgrade interactively than to envisioneer proactively. The metrics for nano-macro-B2B2C, interactive iteration are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We constantly incubate viral branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to innovate efficiently. Without M&A, you will lack innovative e-commerce. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the conceptualization of functionalities. We realize that it is better to generate vertically than to productize vertically. We will embrace the power of compelling, front-end bloatware to seize. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C2B, B2B, real-time CAE" really mean? The power to scale seamlessly leads to the capability to innovate iteravely. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will transform the capacity of ROI metrics to synergize. What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? Think magnetic. Think interactive, reality-based. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some point) be able to optimize courageously.