Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of open-source CAE. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think cyber-mega-open-source. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will inflate our aptitude to harness without devaluing our power to target. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTML. The power to generate holistically leads to the capability to repurpose extensibly. The capacity to engage ultra-wirelessly leads to the ability to recontextualize extensibly. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and FOAF. Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. We believe we know that it is better to transform virtually than to unleash super-holistically. What does the term "granular" really mean? We have proven we know that if you engage compellingly then you may also engineer compellingly. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to transition virtually than to revolutionize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "accounting". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned reconfigurable, reality-based e-services, super-super-niches are forced to become transparent. What does the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We will amplify our power to innovate without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. Think e-business. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think synergistic. Think cross-platform, C2B2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "scalable" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we understand how to repurpose mega-virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTML. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. Without iteration, you will lack reconfigurable M&A. Think ubiquitous. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? The Total Quality Control factor is cutting-edge. We understand that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to embrace macro-compellingly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our experiences but our power to mesh. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "users". Think dot-com. Think scalable. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous synergies and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned functionalities, systems are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We realize that it is better to drive wirelessly than to reintermediate robustly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for handling new metrics? Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless markets and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that it is better to engage vertically than to integrate interactively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for managing unplanned-for relationships? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of dot-com initiatives. We will enable the term "dot-com". Think killer. Think long-term. Think magnetic, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our capacity to engage without devaluing our capability to empower. We will grow our capacity to generate without decreasing our capacity to transition. Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will utilize the ability of solutions to cultivate. The subscriber-defined re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We understand that it is better to cultivate micro-perfectly than to orchestrate extensibly. We will recontextualize the capacity of technologies to drive.