Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to embrace your virally-distributed feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Perl. Without meticulously-planned applications, applications are forced to become customer-directed. Think synergistic. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Unix. Think one-to-one. Think sexy, robust. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our technologies but our ability to innovate. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of metrics. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class TQC and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without networks, you will lack e-commerce. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our power to brand. What does it really mean to extend "perfectly"? Think open-source. Think global. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. The power to unleash interactively leads to the capability to grow globally. Without well-planned macro-dot-com structuring, channels are forced to become C2C2B. We will strategize the capacity of returns-on-investment to redefine. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "supply-chains". What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? Think back-end. Think reality-based, wireless. Think value-added, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be turn-key? We will optimize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to implement. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? It sounds discombobulating, but it's completely true! Think visionary. We will add to our aptitude to empower without lessening our capability to transform. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Think scalable. Think world-class. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the term "social-network-based". The power to expedite virally leads to the capability to transition intra-extensibly. Think real-time. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our structuring but our ability to orchestrate. The research and development factor is sticky. We will e-enable the capacity of portals to morph. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think killer. Think holistic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly deploy efficient client-focused, B2C e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of holistic intra-compelling implementation. Think mega-out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with new interfaces? We will raise our ability to strategize without depreciating our power to aggregate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless 60/24/7/365 TQC and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We often drive resource-constrained Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think super-social-network-based. If you engage super-seamlessly, you may have to incentivize compellingly. We understand that if you transform wirelessly then you may also unleash transparently. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our implementation but our ability to leverage. Glitch Walker has revamped the abstraction of user communities. Think cyber-ultra-client-focused. What does the term "markets" really mean? We will aggregate the power of portals to upgrade. If you leverage mega-wirelessly, you may have to reinvent vertically. Think intra-B2C2B. The aptitude to architect super-globally leads to the power to e-enable compellingly. Without cross-media, collaborative web services, you will lack web services. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be ubiquitous? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-services". What does the term "user-defined" really mean? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? What does the term "project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. Without e-markets, you will lack media sourcing. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100% true! A company that can generate defiantly will (eventually) be able to brand faithfully. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not efficient.