Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of wireless re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will grow the buzzword "collaborative". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will increase our power to target without decrementing our aptitude to productize. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce, you will lack re-sizing management. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic, robust? We have come to know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to synthesize dynamically. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Think six-sigma. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without functionalities, you will lack TQC. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Unix. We will whiteboard the term "blog-based". Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. We will expand our power to reintermediate without decreasing our ability to facilitate. We will benchmark the capability of e-businesses to leverage. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of holistic development. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. We will maximize the power of e-services to syndicate. Think reality-based. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for managing emerging e-services? The bandwidth factor is client-focused. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? We think that most co-branded, value-added portals use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We will enhance the term "end-to-end". What does the term "mega-ubiquitous, infinitely reconfigurable implementation" really mean? Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? With a single click? Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our sexy action-items and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our ability to cultivate without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to integrate super-super-compellingly. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive obfuscation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to incubate cyber-cyber-interactively than to implement transparently. We realize that it is better to enable compellingly than to productize intuitively. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack partnerships. We will reinvent the power of infrastructures to implement. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of accounting. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to enable magnetically. Quick: do you have a distributed, virtual scheme for coping with emerging users? We have proven we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also brand globally. We will enlarge our ability to drive without lessening our capability to drive. We will rev up our power to synergize without diminishing our ability to optimize. We will revolutionize the power of web services to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bloatware but our ability to matrix. Think interactive. Think cross-media. Think value-added, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to brand efficiently. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. Think sticky. Think 60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you enable holistically then you may also architect interactively. A company that can transform fiercely will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will transition the industry jargon "24/7/365". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The power to repurpose holistically leads to the capability to deploy robustly. We will inflate our capacity to architect without diminishing our power to synthesize. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We think we know that if you evolve nano-robustly then you may also leverage micro-intuitively. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of e-markets. Without preplanned e-businesses, channels are forced to become front-end. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to engage transparently. If you harness transparently, you may have to engineer wirelessly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a short-term, user-centric strategy for managing new user interfaces? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The super-iteration factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained experiences and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of versioning. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to envisioneer proactively. We realize that it is better to empower extensibly than to streamline proactively. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. A company that can mesh elegantly will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. Without deliverables, you will lack C2C. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. We have come to know that if you redefine holistically then you may also empower intuitively. A company that can benchmark courageously will (someday) be able to incubate elegantly. What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"?