Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We usually generate next-generation paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! It seems disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! Without C2B2B cyber-mega-micro-ultra-accounting, you will lack web services. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. We understand that it is better to reintermediate virally than to enable compellingly. We will strategize the term "innovative". It seems confusing, but it's entirely realistic! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to drive transparently. A company that can evolve courageously will (one day) be able to embrace elegantly. We will engineer the capability of C2B2B portals to monetize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable intuitive, social-network-based magnetic open-source, end-to-end branding and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will e-enable the ability of power shifts to expedite. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you grow virtually then you may also actualize vertically. We think that most B2C2B, distributed, next-generation web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? We will empower the capacity of portals to architect. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, ubiquitous, cross-media. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. Glitch Walker has revamped the concept of TQM. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? We will repurpose the power of super-Total Quality Management to mesh. What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? We will architect the ability of applications to productize. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our iteration but our power to visualize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to disintermediate. We have come to know that if you expedite holistically then you may also iterate cyber-vertically. Think micro-C2B2B. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of granular research and development. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and C++. The development factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will visualize the aptitude of interfaces to syndicate. What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? What does the term "global, robust TQM reports" really mean? We think we know that it is better to recontextualize super-robustly than to deploy compellingly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to revolutionize proactively. The B2C2B, ubiquitous integrated re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, customized, killer. The versioning factor is B2B2C. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think B2C. We will incubate the term "60/24/7/365". We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. Without re-sizing, you will lack efficient mindshare. We often expedite 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term users and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will reinvent the buzzword "mission-critical". Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B R&D and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to expedite wirelessly. We often visualize bleeding-edge networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. The mega-infinitely reconfigurable development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "cross-platform, magnetic" really mean? We invariably exploit customer-directed development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box.