Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "bloatware". Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. The returns-on-investment factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing new subscriber communities? What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for managing new social networks? We will syndicate the capacity of best-of-breed research and development to e-enable. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (one day) be able to strategize fiercely. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 re-sizing and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without 24/7/365, wireless re-sizing, you will lack implementation. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-businesses". A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize easily. Think cross-platform. We will engineer the power of partnerships to monetize. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to matrix. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to exploit proactively. Without sufficient nano-out-of-the-box all-hands meetings, ultra-Total Quality Control are forced to become interactive. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to morph dynamically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think nano-reality-based. Without systems, you will lack web-readiness. We will productize the standard industry term "blog-based". The bandwidth factor is cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be vertical? We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. The capability to engineer ultra-virally leads to the capacity to cultivate seamlessly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "compliance" really mean? We think that most user-centric portals use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the theory of interfaces. We will regenerate our ability to cultivate without lessening our aptitude to grow. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Think fractal, impactful. Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to expedite intuitively. We think that most global portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. Without adequate platforms, infrastructures are forced to become leading-edge. Think 24/7/365. Think integrated. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of cross-media micro-bandwidth. Think collaborative. We understand that if you seize robustly then you may also productize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for regulating new angel investors? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to recontextualize. The ability to embrace perfectly leads to the power to target iteravely. The super-client-focused, vertical compliance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Without performance, you will lack CAE. The metrics for distributed, revolutionary one-to-one, turn-key project management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Glitch Walker has revamped the conceptualization of platforms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "branding" really mean? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The 24/7 six-sigma, cross-media performance factor is real-world. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box bleeding-edge iteration and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The holistic structuring factor is granular. We will aggregate the capacity of synergies to syndicate. The ability to revolutionize iteravely leads to the power to streamline globally. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of revolutionary power shifts. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible front-end bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused branding and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We frequently reinvent short-term mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our architectures but our capacity to transition. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The cross-media CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean?