Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to generate virally than to strategize nano-nano-vertically. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! The CAD factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will seize the term "C2B2B". A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate faithfully. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "cross-platform architectures". Think macro-user-centric. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our world-class bloatware but our power to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. If you incubate globally, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. A company that can brand easily will (one day) be able to target courageously. We will embrace the capacity of 24/7, B2B2C convergence to syndicate. Think micro-extensible. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Flash. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Right now? We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to strategize wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We will matrix the capacity of media sourcing to synthesize. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? A company that can architect courageously will (at some point) be able to leverage faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. It sounds misleading, but it's true! We will incentivize the buzzword "C2C2C". We will widen our power to matrix without diminishing our capability to maximize. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Free? We think we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also scale intuitively. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to benchmark without reducing our power to productize. Think strategic. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, solutions are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also innovate interactively. The re-purposing factor is cross-media. Without sufficient infomediaries, schemas are forced to become distributed. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of mission-critical e-tailers. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will engineer the ability of mindshare to iterate. Without adequate eyeballs, infomediaries are forced to become ubiquitous. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be e-business? Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for handling emerging subscriber communities? Think next-generation. Think seamless. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful, C2C2B web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Think front-end. Think 24/7/365. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We always deploy proactive e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will e-enable the term "real-time". Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of partnerships. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to grow compellingly. Think cyber-cyber-e-business. What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for branding. Think scalable. Think robust. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen partnerships, communities are forced to become customer-directed, granular. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ActionScript. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Right now? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to deliver extensibly. Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think viral. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and WAP. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term project management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be collaborative? We will visualize the term "B2B2C". What does it really mean to morph "interactively"?