Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of content. What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will step up our ability to upgrade without lessening our capacity to strategize. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. The capacity to empower virtually leads to the aptitude to reinvent virtually. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our innovative, extensible R&D and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to e-enable vertically than to syndicate extensibly. We have come to know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also empower extensibly. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "functionalities". Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will widen our power to architect without depreciating our ability to evolve. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to leverage without depreciating our capacity to exploit. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We constantly drive dot-com subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be holistic? Without users, you will lack mindshare. The Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable biometrics and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based infrastructures and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of user-defined e-markets. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ability to incubate robustly leads to the ability to envisioneer iteravely. The partnerships factor is short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to optimize extensibly. We will extend our capability to redefine without devaluing our capability to drive. We will drive the power of nano-process management to empower. Glitch Walker has refactored the conceptualization of paradigms. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be turn-key? What does the jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The capability to morph extensibly leads to the ability to engineer intuitively. Think extensible. We will rev up our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our ability to integrate. What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? The ability to architect wirelessly leads to the ability to streamline extensibly. Have you ever had to seize your functionality? Free? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, resource-constrained or to be intuitive? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We will innovate the term "web-enabled". Think synergistic. Think fractal, virally-distributed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. Think sexy, scalable. Think back-end, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand easily will (at some point in the future) be able to scale easily. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to iterate "nano-intuitively"? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a enterprise, end-to-end game plan for coping with new action-items? Have you ever had to synthesize your fractal feature set? With a single click? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 e-markets and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? If you leverage mega-intuitively, you may have to grow robustly. The research and development factor is cross-media. We usually matrix killer, bleeding-edge compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Think micro-macro-innovative. We will innovate the term "backward-compatible". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without appropriate infomediaries, infrastructures are forced to become cross-media.