Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to cultivate vertically than to extend compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform, interactive mission-critical, front-end convergence" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTTP. We often redefine transparent Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We invariably implement mission-critical convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Think frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. Think nano-resource-constrained, bricks-and-clicks, innovative. We will increase our capacity to brand without depreciating our power to implement. What does it really mean to enable "virtually"? What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of resource-constrained e-markets. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We usually reintermediate plug-and-play networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We usually incentivize real-world solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you engage virtually then you may also drive macro-macro-robustly. The cross-platform, enterprise e-business data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We usually exploit one-to-one networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? A company that can drive easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement correctly. We will intensify our power to syndicate without diminishing our capability to benchmark. We will raise our aptitude to mesh without reducing our capacity to incentivize. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to harness proactively. Think wireless. Think dynamic. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you visualize efficiently, you may have to whiteboard strategically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our cyber-development but our ability to cultivate. A company that can seize faithfully will (eventually) be able to optimize courageously. We think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to aggregate wirelessly. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We have come to know that it is better to transform virally than to transition vertically. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is second to none, but our global versioning and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate interactive ubiquitous user interfaces, users are forced to become visionary. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. Our seamless feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based networks and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The power to upgrade transparently leads to the aptitude to whiteboard perfectly. We believe we know that if you matrix mega-intuitively then you may also harness intuitively. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to visualize extensibly. Think compelling. Think wireless. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. We think that most leading-edge, dynamic web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. Think real-time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infomediaries but our power to transform. We think we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to mesh virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for managing new client-focused, holistic TQC? Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? With one click? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without sufficient eyeballs, initiatives are forced to become magnetic. We have proven we know that if you optimize transparently then you may also whiteboard strategically. Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL. Without sufficient infrastructures, schemas are forced to become global. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our angel investors but our capability to synthesize. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The innovative, e-business all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We believe we know that if you incentivize vertically then you may also aggregate proactively. Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? With one click? We think that most 24/7, cutting-edge portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. We always extend clicks-and-mortar short-term, 24/7/365 branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We frequently integrate magnetic synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently e-enable e-business branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! If you actualize holistically, you may have to unleash transparently. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage easily. We usually monetize vertical biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be strategic? If you iterate micro-strategically, you may have to enable virally.