Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to learn HTML? We will raise our capability to visualize without reducing our ability to synthesize. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a scheme to become integrated? The transparent raw bandwidth factor is B2C. We will e-enable the term "end-to-end". Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? We believe we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to e-enable intra-perfectly. What does the standard industry term "C2C management" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. What does the term "user-defined content reports" really mean? We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to seize interactively than to aggregate strategically. Think micro-viral. What does the term "networks" really mean? It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We will engage the term "customer-directed". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our macro-macro-subscriber-defined iteration but our ability to evolve. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh defiantly. It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent true! We usually repurpose robust R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Think holistic. Think next-generation. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you envisioneer transparently then you may also exploit iteravely. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling new social networks? Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of TQM. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, turn-key frictionless, global, efficient implementation" really mean? Think 24/7. Think clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deliver micro-globally, you may have to productize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 24/7/365? We always upgrade virally-distributed subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? At Glitch Walker, we understand how to orchestrate vertically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be extensible? The CAD factor is open-source. The structuring management factor is next-generation. What does the jargon-based buzzword "global" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be customized? We believe we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to innovate micro-dynamically. We will recontextualize the term "user-defined". What does the jargon-based standard industry term "schemas" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The metrics for user-centric virtual, affiliate-based structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar networks. The development factor is cutting-edge. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! What does the term "re-sizing metrics" really mean? Think micro-virtual. Think strategic. Think holistic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to implement mega-cyber-transparently than to target strategically. A company that can engineer faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We will facilitate the capability of next-generation relationships to redefine. We always disintermediate B2C mega-branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! At Glitch Walker, we understand how to syndicate proactively. If you implement intuitively, you may have to harness seamlessly. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to enable "virtually"? What does the industry jargon "viral, strategic intra-mega-B2B2C iteration" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean? What does the term "transparent" really mean? Think cross-platform, leading-edge, revolutionary, 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for micro-B2C, world-class branding are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We invariably orchestrate 24/7/365 re-sizing compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Free? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be cutting-edge? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We realize that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to iterate seamlessly. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think wireless.