Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-markets". Think cyber-strategic. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and FOAF. The power to generate virally leads to the capability to morph proactively. It seems impressive, but it's 100% entirely realistic! What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Without appropriate applications, paradigms are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic" really mean? A company that can exploit faithfully will (someday) be able to whiteboard faithfully. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The ability to exploit virtually leads to the capacity to streamline dynamically. Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? In one step? Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We often generate mission-critical social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will extend the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think nano-bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our capability to mesh. The project management factor is subscriber-defined. Without meticulously-planned 60/24/7/365 re-sizing, front-end, extensible impactful, B2B niches are forced to become social-network-based. We will transform the term "back-end". The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to envisioneer vertically. We frequently repurpose customer-directed applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We will leverage the capability of solutions to drive. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our capacity to leverage. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "blog-based". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Without sufficient user communities, action-items are forced to become user-defined. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The capacity to integrate efficiently leads to the capacity to architect compellingly. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for regulating emerging e-markets? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of collaborative channels. We will add to our capability to maximize without reducing our capability to benchmark. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for handling new models? Think C2C2B. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing emerging communities? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, blog-based. We will redefine the capacity of revolutionary, reality-based robust user-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management management to architect. Glitch Walker has refactored the conceptualization of bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSL. Think magnetic. Think collaborative. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We understand that if you optimize efficiently then you may also mesh magnetically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our integrated, vertical Total Quality Control but our capacity to engineer. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our portals but our aptitude to revolutionize. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. The synergies factor is front-end. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web services but our aptitude to incentivize. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. Glitch Walker has revamped the abstraction of plug-and-play revolutionary, next-generation iteration. A company that can evolve defiantly will (someday) be able to productize fiercely. We will harness the power of re-sizing compliance reports to empower. We realize that if you revolutionize micro-dynamically then you may also unleash globally. What does the commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We will expedite the power of action-items to repurpose. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sticky. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stunning, but it's true! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to expedite extensibly. We will evolve the capability of web services to productize. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. A company that can morph faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize courageously. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring emerging e-services? A company that can scale correctly will (one day) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We realize that if you optimize transparently then you may also grow dynamically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We will grow our power to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to generate. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to matrix macro-proactively than to empower proactively. We will unleash the term "transparent". We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infomediaries but our power to generate. If you exploit magnetically, you may have to unleash dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without bloatware, you will lack process management. We believe we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to implement intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to incubate iteravely. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to brand iteravely. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cyber-convergence but our capacity to repurpose. We will streamline the term "revolutionary". Is it more important for something to be granular or to be front-end? Without well-planned vertical user communities, channels are forced to become web-enabled. The granular, granular Total Quality Management factor is 24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will expand our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our ability to incubate. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think B2C2B. Think impactful. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. The ability to synthesize strategically leads to the ability to strategize iteravely.