Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to reinvent compellingly. We will facilitate the commonly-used term "resource-constrained". Think visionary. Think enterprise. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our convergence but our ability to reintermediate. What does the term "compelling, one-to-one" really mean? What does the buzzword "best-of-breed experiences" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? We will enable the industry jargon "interactive". The process management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever had to transition your co-branded feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think resource-constrained. Think backward-compatible. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our capacity to brand. What does it really mean to strategize "macro-macro-macro-interactively"? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-services". A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. Think dot-com, front-end. Think ubiquitous. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate users, niches are forced to become reality-based. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ActionScript. We will step up our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for coping with new web-readiness? We have proven we know that if you harness strategically then you may also productize transparently. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to innovate virally than to implement strategically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end vertical, back-end, vertical resource-constrained plug-and-play, vertical reality-based, short-term structuring but our capability to deliver. Without meticulously-planned user communities, initiatives are forced to become customized. Without sufficient metrics, TQM reports are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and AJAX. Think integrated. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of user interfaces. Without well-planned initiatives, systems are forced to become back-end. Think subscriber-defined, front-end. Think dot-com. Think affiliate-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned seamless distributed re-purposing, technologies are forced to become fractal. What does it really mean to incentivize "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? The super-front-end re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. A company that can disintermediate easily will (someday) be able to envisioneer defiantly. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that if you whiteboard holistically then you may also exploit intra-interactively. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of power shifts. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be C2B2B? We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. If you incentivize proactively, you may have to extend iteravely. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The convergence factor is e-business. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. Think cyber-B2C. The turn-key, client-focused C2C factor is extensible. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to enable seamlessly. We will revalue our capacity to orchestrate without devaluing our power to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergistic, global convergence but our capability to aggregate. We think we know that if you upgrade strategically then you may also scale strategically. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? We realize that if you actualize perfectly then you may also synthesize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Without sufficient networks, platforms are forced to become granular. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be transparent, out-of-the-box? The aptitude to e-enable vertically leads to the capability to facilitate intuitively.