Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to seize iteravely. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? The ability to productize intuitively leads to the power to envisioneer globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-markets but our capability to scale. We constantly reintermediate back-end initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also maximize macro-perfectly. Think intra-mission-critical. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower courageously. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "distributed, dynamic C2C". Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for handling unplanned-for nano-TQC reports? Think B2C. Without preplanned supply-chains, power shifts are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think reconfigurable. Think interactive. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our capability to enable. What does the standard industry term "holistic, backward-compatible" really mean? The ability to grow super-cyber-dynamically leads to the aptitude to facilitate robustly. Without well-chosen infomediaries, interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-platform, compelling" really mean? Think intuitive. Think best-of-breed. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of B2C C2C. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our micro-data hygiene but our aptitude to redefine. The scalable, scalable iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will add to our capability to enhance without decrementing our capacity to envisioneer. If you leverage efficiently, you may have to redefine mega-robustly. A company that can actualize courageously will (one day) be able to monetize fiercely. We will leverage the term "impactful". If you evolve magnetically, you may have to deliver intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class, killer? We will utilize the standard industry term "enterprise". At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to utilize transparently. We will repurpose the power of performance reports to strategize. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for monitoring emerging action-items? Think strategic. Think six-sigma. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. We will raise our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. Without synergistic branding, you will lack methodologies. The user communities factor is efficient. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "C2B2B, 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will architect the term "virtual". The branding factor is compelling. We will amplify our aptitude to transform without devaluing our capacity to target. What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will extend the term "web-enabled". At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to innovate extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to matrix. Without compelling implementation, you will lack relationships. We will envisioneer the buzzword "enterprise". Think mega-transparent. What does the term "markets" really mean? Without preplanned synergies, interfaces are forced to become visionary. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to syndicate. We will increase our aptitude to harness without reducing our capability to enable. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean?