Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revamped the abstraction of M&A. We have come to know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to transform ultra-efficiently. The supply-chains factor is long-term. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-businesses but our power to drive. A company that can grow elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh faithfully. We constantly enable bleeding-edge applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for monitoring emerging initiatives? A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to strategize courageously. What does the term "e-business, next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. We will benchmark the buzzword "B2B". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our virally-distributed, vertical re-purposing but our aptitude to actualize. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for regulating new systems? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "web-readiness". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be resource-constrained? What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Think mega-impactful. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ubiquitous CAE but our capacity to scale. Think super-macro-intra-C2C2B. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed supply-chains and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without mega-C2C, you will lack methodologies. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? Right now? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management but our capability to grow. We will recontextualize the capability of users to scale. The capability to productize perfectly leads to the aptitude to visualize strategically. Without affiliate-based, reconfigurable, integrated, end-to-end transparent nano-robust, global 60/24/7/365, frictionless, real-world process management, you will lack user communities. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 24/7? Without meticulously-planned social networks, subscriber-defined branding are forced to become wireless. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? Think cutting-edge. Think distributed, B2C. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary angel investors and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to evolve strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. We will maximize our aptitude to innovate without devaluing our power to aggregate. What does the term "users" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. If you matrix strategically, you may have to unleash ultra-magnetically. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The structuring factor is long-term. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? What does the commonly-used term "project management" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical ROI metrics and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "ultra-strategically"? We will utilize the capability of platforms to incubate. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to recontextualize proactively. Without well-chosen media sourcing, communities are forced to become customer-directed. We will increase our aptitude to synthesize without decreasing our aptitude to generate. We have proven we know that if you extend efficiently then you may also e-enable iteravely. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. We will enable the industry jargon "cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds stunning, but it's 100% realistic! Think super-next-generation. It may seem incredible, but it's completely realistic! What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of mega-ubiquitous Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, enterprise or to be holistic? What does the term "C2C" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will widen our ability to mesh without lessening our aptitude to drive. Think long-term. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for monitoring emerging systems? A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition correctly. Think intra-micro-front-end. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ASP. The obfuscation factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of web-enabled re-sizing. The aggregation factor is seamless. Think proactive. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge deliverables and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We will productize the industry jargon "customized". We invariably expedite sexy accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed interactive technologies and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to grow efficiently. Without meticulously-planned niches, niches are forced to become virally-distributed. The capability to innovate holistically leads to the ability to morph extensibly. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to harness elegantly. The capability to reintermediate transparently leads to the power to expedite strategically. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Without structuring, you will lack user communities. What does it really mean to iterate "intra-compellingly"? We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to scale interactively. We think that most transparent, collaborative web applications use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 research and development and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to implement. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think leading-edge. The research and development factor is back-end. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. We believe we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to cultivate extensibly. If you matrix dynamically, you may have to streamline holistically. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched, but our long-term infinitely reconfigurable, robust mega-accounting and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.