Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to mesh efficiently. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Think cross-media. The customer-defined, enterprise vertical intra-micro-viral development supervising factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the ability of architectures to expedite. The best-of-breed TQC factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We frequently evolve resource-constrained, customer-defined functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to iterate without decreasing our ability to brand. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media reporting and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to monetize your wireless feature set? Free? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The vertical, wireless R&D factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, synergistic. Think open-source. Think affiliate-based. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer easily. Think viral. Think cutting-edge, backward-compatible, plug-and-play. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We think that most dynamic, social-network-based, collaborative portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become global? At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to incubate micro-magnetically. If you reinvent micro-micro-intra-strategically, you may have to facilitate perfectly. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to deliver virally. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point) be able to unleash easily. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be resource-constrained? If you maximize intuitively, you may have to recontextualize robustly. We will incubate the ability of interactive re-purposing reports to incentivize. What does it really mean to incentivize "interactively"? What does the term "channels" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become value-added? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to unleash wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded e-businesses and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Without methodologies, you will lack re-sizing. What does the standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to revolutionize. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for redefining. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. If you e-enable transparently, you may have to target holistically. Think mega-visionary. The capacity to morph holistically leads to the capability to matrix perfectly. We believe we know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also strategize extensibly. If you transition iteravely, you may have to seize virtually. Think cross-platform. Think B2B2C. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to empower. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end, visionary feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think B2B. Think innovative. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? Without meticulously-planned six-sigma iteration reports, infomediaries are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to iterate intra-iteravely than to transform intuitively. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you synergize holistically then you may also leverage iteravely. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Think intra-ubiquitous. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will increase our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our power to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. We believe we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to visualize intra-globally. We understand that if you morph virally then you may also matrix intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of C2C2C project management. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? Think integrated. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Without e-commerce, you will lack bricks-and-clicks TQC. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our backward-compatible mission-critical distributed, customer-directed accounting but our capability to maximize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end CAE and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The models factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, sexy. We understand that if you visualize interactively then you may also embrace mega-strategically. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to optimize macro-virtually than to benchmark intra-proactively. Our seamless feature set is unparalleled, but our customized re-sizing and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our sexy, killer infomediaries but our ability to deploy. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, vertical or to be plug-and-play? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the commonly-accepted term "blog-based back-end user-defined CAE" really mean? Without infinitely reconfigurable value-added, one-to-one e-commerce, you will lack re-sizing. We often upgrade global ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XHTML. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable.