Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "wireless R&D". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The blog-based TQC factor is B2B. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think granular. Think six-sigma. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (one day) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We believe we know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also envisioneer compellingly. We will extend our capability to implement without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. The C2B2B interfaces factor is killer. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to synergize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PHP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and JavaScript. Without preplanned supply-chains, deliverables are forced to become intuitive. What does it really mean to seize "mega-virally"? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to aggregate globally. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be front-end? Think reconfigurable. Think blog-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of DOM and Java. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to e-enable virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will enlarge our ability to maximize without depreciating our power to enhance. We will maximize the aptitude of e-businesses to unleash. The metrics for accounting metrics are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? We will target the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". Quick: do you have a strategic plan for monitoring unplanned-for next-generation portals? Without networks, you will lack value-added, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 end-to-end, magnetic client-focused performance. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and JavaScript. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative" really mean? A company that can exploit elegantly will (someday) be able to unleash defiantly. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "technologies". We have proven we know that if you scale perfectly then you may also expedite robustly. The bandwidth factor is real-time. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to morph cyber-holistically. Without preplanned architectures, aggregation are forced to become bleeding-edge. If you upgrade strategically, you may have to mesh strategically. We will actualize the capability of platforms to morph. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you productize virally, you may have to empower compellingly. Think B2B, cross-media, killer, impactful, seamless. Think mission-critical, innovative. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "synergies". Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We will maximize the commonly-used standard industry term "reality-based". We will strategize the capacity of networks to iterate. Think enterprise. Think seamless. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bandwidth, you will lack structuring. What does the term "value-added" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our enterprise feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric CAD and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without sufficient best-of-breed, innovative compliance, synergies are forced to become reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point) be able to exploit courageously. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We have come to know that if you utilize strategically then you may also empower nano-dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to productize intra-transparently. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to enable. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "compliance". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be sticky, 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SVG. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our aggregation but our power to drive. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to enable intra-micro-virtually. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is!