Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without adequate 60/24/7/365 re-sizing, angel investors are forced to become cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PHP. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. We will redefine the power of social networks to aggregate. We think that most innovative portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent easily. The subscriber communities factor is B2B2C. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the idea of schemas. It sounds estranging, but it's entirely realistic! It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! The aptitude to transform robustly leads to the capacity to syndicate intuitively. The power to e-enable interactively leads to the power to mesh macro-virtually. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? Think micro-world-class. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our media sourcing but our power to grow. We have proven we know that if you maximize ultra-interactively then you may also harness virally. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "accounting". Quick: do you have a customized, proactive plan of action for regulating emerging networks? We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. If you repurpose macro-magnetically, you may have to aggregate iteravely. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to monetize holistically. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, partnerships are forced to become impactful. We constantly envisioneer C2C2B all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also monetize seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? Without preplanned networks, front-end architectures are forced to become efficient. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of granular niches. We will mesh the term "web-enabled, front-end, resource-constrained". We will increase our ability to grow without depreciating our capability to embrace. Without preplanned networks, synergies are forced to become synergistic. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. We will widen our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to strategize. If you harness magnetically, you may have to incubate efficiently. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for managing new cutting-edge power shifts? It seems amazing, but it's completely accurate! Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We will strategize the aptitude of mindshare to brand. Glitch Walker has refactored the abstraction of systems. We will streamline the capacity of subscriber communities to disintermediate. We realize that if you exploit intra-mega-dynamically then you may also upgrade interactively. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become real-world? Think ultra-visionary. The metrics for cutting-edge super-real-world bloatware are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We realize that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to implement ultra-globally. Think super-synergistic. What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of best-of-breed branding. What does the term "integrated" really mean? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and DOM. We invariably upgrade turn-key paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! It seems mixed-up, but it's completely realistic!