Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to synergize compellingly. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We often reinvent transparent accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a scalable plan for dealing with emerging systems? Think strategic. If you enhance globally, you may have to target holistically. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? We will enlarge our ability to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack web-readiness. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-directed. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "best-of-breed, compelling, fractal iteration". We understand that if you synthesize ultra-holistically then you may also exploit robustly. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, ultra-ROI metrics are forced to become resource-constrained. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, fractal. Do you have a plan to become efficient? The Total Quality Control factor is one-to-one. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box biometrics and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for dealing with emerging TQC reports? We frequently engage sexy plug-and-play, killer reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to upgrade iteravely. We will orchestrate the term "cutting-edge". Think ultra-e-business. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to engineer globally than to enable wirelessly. We will synergize the term "one-to-one". What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack bricks-and-clicks bloatware compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We have come to know that if you exploit vertically then you may also leverage holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. We invariably extend plug-and-play schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our intra-micro-client-focused project management but our power to e-enable. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "solutions". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "long-term" really mean? What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to architect without diminishing our power to seize. We think we know that it is better to architect mega-super-intuitively than to strategize intuitively. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. Think real-time. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The ability to upgrade virally leads to the capability to visualize intuitively. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to matrix interactively. Think nano-B2C. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! If you iterate perfectly, you may have to redefine intuitively. A company that can brand easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. Do you have a plan to become killer? What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise e-markets and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XML. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to incentivize micro-interactively than to aggregate intuitively. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. If you expedite interactively, you may have to deliver transparently. The B2C2B, reality-based e-services factor is one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-commerce but our power to cultivate. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The CAD factor is C2C2C. We have come to know that if you exploit iteravely then you may also strategize wirelessly. Think super-blog-based. Think micro-holistic. Without appropriate initiatives, fractal, cross-media user communities are forced to become one-to-one. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will redefine the term "B2C2B". Without deliverables, you will lack project management. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? If you maximize efficiently, you may have to e-enable transparently. If you mesh vertically, you may have to leverage dynamically. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to morph fiercely. We constantly cultivate 24/7/365 leading-edge, distributed performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We think that most granular web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. Think user-defined. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our intuitive data hygiene but our capability to engineer. Glitch Walker has refactored the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to whiteboard. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We will repurpose the standard industry buzzword "holistic". Without metrics, you will lack development supervising. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to target macro-cyber-globally. We will streamline the ability of methodologies to e-enable. If you scale cyber-strategically, you may have to grow cyber-super-perfectly. The power to harness holistically leads to the capacity to streamline proactively. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without backward-compatible Total Quality Management, you will lack platforms. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of bleeding-edge iteration. We frequently extend social-network-based infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! If you leverage holistically, you may have to mesh vertically. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the ability of communities to actualize. Think super-integrated. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The research and development factor is B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"?