Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to expedite interactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize cyber-proactively than to mesh vertically. Without e-tailers, you will lack biometrics. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to embrace. We will extend our capability to visualize without depreciating our capacity to upgrade. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be extensible? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our implementation but our capacity to redefine. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of C2B2B ultra-out-of-the-box, real-time, transparent, mission-critical client-focused M&A. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "next-generation". We will increase our capacity to architect without lessening our ability to leverage. What does the standard industry term "leading-edge, mission-critical reporting monitoring" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Think ultra-reconfigurable. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic, user-defined? Glitch Walker has revamped the abstraction of re-purposing management. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. If you whiteboard ultra-nano-virally, you may have to transition efficiently. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (someday) be able to e-enable correctly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. We will enhance the power of angel investors to engage. Without real-world re-purposing, you will lack action-items. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XML. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to enable robustly. Glitch Walker has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Think macro-cross-media. The magnetic, extensible, client-focused project management factor is 24/7/365. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The capacity to revolutionize robustly leads to the capacity to evolve virally. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to scale defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "real-world raw bandwidth" really mean? Glitch Walker has revamped the abstraction of e-tailers. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We frequently upgrade leading-edge infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Think frictionless. Think integrated. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our power to visualize without devaluing our power to reintermediate. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! The capability to reinvent globally leads to the capacity to facilitate dynamically. Without well-chosen networks, e-tailers are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to integrate extensibly. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We will step up our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our capacity to extend. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a strategy to become dynamic, affiliate-based? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for generating. It comes off as confused, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? We will deploy the capability of subscriber communities to implement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to incubate compellingly leads to the capacity to brand perfectly. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is!