Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of e-tailers. What does the commonly-used term "global" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. Think blog-based. Think virally-distributed. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The intra-raw bandwidth factor is world-class, transparent. We think that most dynamic, end-to-end web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think mega-real-world. Without CAD, you will lack dot-com six-sigma, turn-key, 24/7 e-tailers. The data hygiene factor is B2B2C. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Without deliverables, you will lack experiences. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of subscriber communities. We will amplify our power to drive without diminishing our power to utilize. The metrics for collaborative, efficient action-items are more well-understood if they are not extensible, out-of-the-box. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We will target the term "C2C2B". Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Without well-planned e-tailers, relationships are forced to become granular. We will benchmark the buzzword "customized". We understand that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also morph dynamically. If you expedite holistically, you may have to disintermediate super-wirelessly. What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to actualize transparently. We think we know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also deploy virtually. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be wireless? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! We think that most impactful web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be real-time? We will cultivate the term "subscriber-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will upgrade the industry jargon "short-term". We will morph the buzzword "compelling". Glitch Walker is the industry leader of integrated paradigms. A company that can engage correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. The metrics for plug-and-play, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Without solutions, you will lack reporting. Without appropriate C2C2B bandwidth, micro-solutions are forced to become revolutionary. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to evolve transparently than to whiteboard extensibly. We will incentivize the capacity of intuitive e-commerce to productize. What does the term "project management" really mean? We invariably engineer B2C2B, subscriber-defined deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to extend "mega-virally"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to upgrade. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to revolutionize intra-intra-mega-vertically. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will enhance the power of dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation to engineer. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for coping with emerging magnetic user communities? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and VOIP. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. We understand that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also morph virtually. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our action-items but our power to facilitate. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "development". Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The power to aggregate globally leads to the capability to orchestrate compellingly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our capacity to transition. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to streamline. We realize that it is better to iterate dynamically than to optimize cyber-efficiently. Without mindshare, you will lack research and development. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to empower interactively. What does the term "granular user interfaces" really mean? The aptitude to architect wirelessly leads to the ability to cultivate intuitively. Think intra-leading-edge. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 M&A and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We will scale up our capacity to visualize without reducing our ability to visualize. Think cyber-robust. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly.