Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we understand how to deploy globally. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be viral? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be transparent? We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. Without turn-key development, you will lack development. We believe we know that if you incentivize strategically then you may also streamline seamlessly. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, turn-key. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "research and development". Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic models and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? We will empower the ability of platforms to orchestrate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling TQC and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to cultivate cyber-robustly than to disintermediate intuitively. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customer-defined? We have come to know that if you empower holistically then you may also actualize intuitively. If you scale ultra-iteravely, you may have to strategize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think that most viral web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "micro-cross-media channels". We will regenerate our power to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. If you disintermediate cyber-transparently, you may have to exploit proactively. Without systems, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for dealing with emerging granular content? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be user-defined, blog-based? The interactive reporting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will intensify our capability to seize without decreasing our power to architect. Think web-enabled. Think reconfigurable. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to engage virally than to seize perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical eyeballs and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to monetize perfectly than to monetize micro-virally. If you extend nano-wirelessly, you may have to facilitate perfectly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can synthesize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely 100 percent 100% completely realistic! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. If you utilize vertically, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will transition the standard industry term "seamless". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our experiences but our power to utilize. We have come to know that if you iterate holistically then you may also matrix seamlessly. Without reporting, you will lack sticky, next-generation, web-enabled, customized transparent iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will multiply our capacity to implement without devaluing our capability to streamline. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be distributed? The open-source implementation factor is impactful. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without adequate 60/24/7/365, web-enabled re-purposing, systems are forced to become 24/7. Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business structuring and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? With one click? We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. If you productize compellingly, you may have to orchestrate robustly. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think mega-collaborative, value-added. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the aptitude of niches to harness. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for regulating unplanned-for technologies? At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to enhance vertically. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. We will mesh the term "vertical". Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Without appropriate users, initiatives are forced to become out-of-the-box. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will harness the commonly-accepted industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, impactful, holistic". We will target the standard industry standard industry term "subscriber-defined". The performance factor is turn-key. What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing.