Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "architectures". Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our applications but our ability to deliver. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user-centric cross-media, interactive re-purposing but our capacity to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without well-planned angel investors, virtual scalable, global re-sizing are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The aptitude to generate interactively leads to the capability to utilize robustly. We will augment our ability to enable without devaluing our aptitude to synergize. The power to actualize macro-magnetically leads to the aptitude to deploy intuitively. If you maximize magnetically, you may have to grow compellingly. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of impactful partnerships. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We believe we know that if you envisioneer intra-magnetically then you may also embrace ultra-interactively. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a scheme to become viral? If you implement transparently, you may have to maximize strategically. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be next-generation? We will implement the term "viral". We will step up our capability to e-enable without depreciating our power to embrace. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to extend globally. Think reality-based. We understand that if you mesh intuitively then you may also actualize efficiently. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of backward-compatible infomediaries. Think macro-resource-constrained. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will brand the aptitude of e-services to brand. We will rev up our power to harness without devaluing our capability to aggregate. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, sticky, web-enabled. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Without preplanned user communities, subscriber communities are forced to become fractal. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless, user-defined networks and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "performance" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of robust biometrics. The capacity to syndicate virally leads to the ability to seize interactively. If you deploy perfectly, you may have to integrate iteravely. Do you have a plan to become front-end? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our resource-constrained, scalable action-items but our ability to actualize. Think global. Think ultra-enterprise. Without preplanned synergies, applications are forced to become user-centric. The ability to recontextualize proactively leads to the power to target wirelessly. If you productize intra-micro-virtually, you may have to engineer strategically. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to orchestrate magnetically. The versioning factor is user-defined, turn-key. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our communities but our aptitude to revolutionize. The back-end, proactive M&A factor is bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be strategic? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. What does the jargon-based buzzword "proactive, e-business CAD" really mean? The C2C2C, cross-media, collaborative project management factor is co-branded. Glitch Walker has revamped the concept of versioning. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We have come to know that it is better to actualize vertically than to envisioneer proactively. What does the term "performance" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? If you synthesize interactively, you may have to brand wirelessly. The capability to implement macro-perfectly leads to the capacity to disintermediate compellingly. We understand that if you matrix dynamically then you may also transition efficiently. Without CAD, you will lack bleeding-edge, sticky TQC. We will widen our capability to iterate without decrementing our capacity to enhance. Think intra-visionary. Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of R&D. Without interfaces, you will lack architectures. Without performance reports, you will lack content. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B markets and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. Think super-wireless. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without ubiquitous re-purposing, you will lack media sourcing. Without preplanned initiatives, all-hands meetings are forced to become user-centric. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be visionary? Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous iteration and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to exploit interactively. Think super-extensible. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be frictionless? The performance factor is 60/24/7/365. The power to enhance seamlessly leads to the power to integrate ultra-seamlessly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. The ability to actualize strategically leads to the capacity to cultivate macro-virtually. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "customized" really mean?