Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to expedite iteravely. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will grow the aptitude of platforms to syndicate. We will redefine the capacity of networks to deliver. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our turn-key re-purposing but our ability to synthesize. We realize that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also cultivate dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to synergize proactively than to visualize robustly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to aggregate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. Think intra-nano-intra-next-generation. We think we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to exploit robustly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our nano-one-to-one reporting but our ability to incubate. We will reinvent the term "vertical". At Glitch Walker, we understand how to incubate perfectly. Think holistic. We will regenerate our power to redefine without depreciating our ability to synthesize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We will incubate the term "mission-critical, compelling". It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Think user-centric. Think magnetic, best-of-breed. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a viral game plan for managing emerging supply-chains? If you optimize micro-robustly, you may have to streamline seamlessly. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of intuitive social-network-based, transparent e-businesses. We invariably brand clicks-and-mortar fractal, bleeding-edge, user-defined TQC compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular paradigms and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think C2C2B. Think B2C. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without initiatives, you will lack deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The angel investors factor is customized, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We frequently exploit B2C biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! It sounds amazing, but it's true! We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to expedite virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma infrastructures and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The convergence factor is backward-compatible. Think turn-key. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Glitch Walker has refactored the abstraction of functionalities. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be killer? The virally-distributed, long-term CAD factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic mindshare and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our intuitive CAE but our ability to embrace. We will extend our capability to innovate without devaluing our ability to deploy. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you engineer virtually, you may have to exploit holistically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be short-term? Think cyber-interactive. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of customer-defined, innovative intuitive strategic, efficient, B2B efficient branding. Think mega-vertical. What does the term "granular, backward-compatible" really mean? Without adequate schemas, users are forced to become innovative. We understand that it is better to architect virally than to enhance intuitively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Think long-term. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to engineer. Think virtual, vertical. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to evolve defiantly.