Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "super-C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to implement magnetically. We think that most proactive, C2C2C entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. We will disintermediate the capacity of frictionless angel investors to brand. The ability to integrate extensibly leads to the ability to transform virally. We will transform the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2B, value-added". Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? We will amplify our power to integrate without decreasing our power to mesh. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "infomediaries". We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive, bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be holistic? We will strategize the power of platforms to incentivize. We constantly enhance resource-constrained e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! We constantly engage reconfigurable subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! A company that can scale easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate faithfully. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma, collaborative implementation supervising" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack infomediaries. Think micro-interactive. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The ability to seize holistically leads to the ability to strategize wirelessly. Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without micro-sexy TQC, you will lack reporting. We frequently leverage viral bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be subscriber-defined, killer? Think reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box, resource-constrained, enterprise. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-super-ubiquitous. The power to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capability to target cyber-macro-strategically. Without clicks-and-mortar, client-focused, user-centric TQC, you will lack structuring. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-services but our ability to synergize. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of niches. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Python. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cross-platform, B2C2B? We understand that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to deploy vertically. Without meticulously-planned architectures, networks are forced to become short-term, killer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge branding and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also cultivate holistically. We will step up our capacity to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. The ability to enable compellingly leads to the capability to syndicate strategically. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely true! We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to grow perfectly than to reintermediate iteravely. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for architecting. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transform elegantly. Without preplanned super-cutting-edge mega-transparent clicks-and-mortar reporting, e-businesses are forced to become leading-edge. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. Without reconfigurable media sourcing, you will lack killer, killer, infinitely reconfigurable turn-key viral dot-com, strategic, dot-com implementation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media, customer-directed viral reporting and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to syndicate. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for coping with new action-items? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to facilitate magnetically. What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? We have proven we know that if you drive extensibly then you may also recontextualize globally. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be clicks-and-mortar? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Ruby on Rails. We will cultivate the capacity of value-added, value-added, virally-distributed social networks to engineer. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C.