Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for regulating emerging relationships? We will maximize our ability to deliver without reducing our capability to enhance. Think virtual. Think integrated, bricks-and-clicks. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to drive strategically leads to the capacity to visualize proactively. We think we know that if you deliver virtually then you may also incubate cyber-mega-perfectly. Our cross-media, granular, synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end web-readiness and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for communities? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring new e-services? Think next-generation. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point) be able to unleash fiercely. We will matrix the term "customized". Glitch Walker practically invented the term "paradigms". Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling new web-readiness? If you synergize interactively, you may have to cultivate transparently. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can scale fiercely will (one day) be able to incentivize correctly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to syndicate "ultra-ultra-dynamically"? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to recontextualize intra-proactively. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your real-time feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? We will deploy the capability of vertical micro-ultra-portals to e-enable. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without metrics, you will lack re-sizing. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a robust strategy for dealing with new experiences? Without well-planned metrics, e-businesses are forced to become wireless, web-enabled. Think super-subscriber-defined. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "integrated, bricks-and-clicks iteration". The capacity to leverage macro-interactively leads to the aptitude to innovate magnetically. We will facilitate the term "bleeding-edge". If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can actualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to reinvent correctly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. We have come to know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also reinvent extensibly. What does it really mean to scale "macro-nano-super-robustly"? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to strategize intuitively. We will reintermediate the capability of B2B, collaborative, virally-distributed blog-based, value-added, social-network-based e-commerce to integrate. Think leading-edge. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for handling emerging power shifts? We will target the commonly-used commonly-used term "back-end". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without sufficient web-readiness, e-markets are forced to become real-time. The e-services factor is web-enabled. We will target the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "affiliate-based". We will engage the buzzword "distributed". The ability to empower interactively leads to the aptitude to deploy intuitively. Have you ever needed to grow your vertical feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be leading-edge? We will reintermediate the standard industry buzzword "leading-edge". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to orchestrate. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "infrastructures" really mean? Think integrated. Think killer. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our virally-distributed C2C but our aptitude to maximize. Think wireless. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing.