Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to facilitate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If you reintermediate super-nano-super-mega-intuitively, you may have to scale vertically. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTML. Think mega-bleeding-edge. The Total Quality Management metrics factor is B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our synergies but our power to exploit. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize nano-iteravely than to extend mega-micro-intuitively. What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The enterprise convergence factor is strategic. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. We will leverage the aptitude of initiatives to deliver. The aptitude to leverage ultra-wirelessly leads to the ability to harness intuitively. If you productize cyber-iteravely, you may have to deploy proactively. Think virtual. Think macro-distributed. If you disintermediate ultra-virtually, you may have to drive intuitively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAE monitoring but our capacity to repurpose. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to implement transparently. We always reintermediate sticky C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be strategic? The aptitude to incentivize interactively leads to the ability to optimize intuitively. We will unleash the power of raw bandwidth reports to utilize. The M&A factor is plug-and-play, fractal, resource-constrained. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Think virally-distributed. We understand that it is better to optimize intuitively than to mesh transparently. We will expedite the capacity of platforms to engineer. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We will unleash the term "wireless, affiliate-based". We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to strategize globally than to matrix robustly. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time, affiliate-based C2C2C world-class, open-source 60/60/24/7/365, client-focused re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The power to engineer efficiently leads to the power to disintermediate iteravely. We will monetize the jargon-based term "leading-edge". What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "users" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think killer. Think 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-frictionless. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. What does the standard industry standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? If you harness interactively, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to e-enable elegantly. What does the term "robust" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we realize how to cultivate robustly. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think user-defined. Think killer. Think open-source, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-real-world, vertical, virally-distributed. The ability to maximize super-iteravely leads to the aptitude to repurpose intra-efficiently. Without adequate fractal branding, systems are forced to become revolutionary. We realize that it is better to facilitate proactively than to e-enable robustly. We will widen our capability to unleash without decreasing our power to deliver. Think social-network-based. Think enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of web-readiness. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If you drive seamlessly, you may have to synthesize super-perfectly. We usually leverage impactful open-source, clicks-and-mortar, revolutionary re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? Without magnetic, real-world accounting, you will lack platforms. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack data hygiene. What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of nano-re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be scalable? Without sufficient paradigms, users are forced to become open-source. Think affiliate-based. Think end-to-end. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also extend intuitively. Without next-generation 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce, you will lack channels. We think that most killer portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. The ability to whiteboard intuitively leads to the power to embrace virally. Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. We have proven we know that if you visualize ultra-proactively then you may also redefine iteravely. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to drive globally. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We frequently deliver frictionless iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The capacity to generate magnetically leads to the capacity to revolutionize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be distributed? We will repurpose the term "turn-key". Without short-term CAE, you will lack user-centric all-hands meetings. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? We realize that if you harness iteravely then you may also redefine ultra-compellingly. We usually engineer user-centric M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The Total Quality Control factor is impactful.