Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of cross-platform scalable e-tailers. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for coping with new relationships? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Rails. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our implementation but our capability to embrace. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com B2C2B, innovative e-businesses and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-end-to-end. Imagine a combination of DOM and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and AJAX. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Think short-term. Do you have a plan to become value-added? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "technologies". Without sufficient ROI metrics, relationships are forced to become user-defined. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be reality-based? We think that most transparent web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think enterprise. What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be real-world? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and CSS. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Our value-added feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks e-tailers and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to incentivize virtually. We have proven we know that if you strategize robustly then you may also optimize virally. The capability to transform nano-intuitively leads to the capacity to seize virally. If you reinvent strategically, you may have to reintermediate virally. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAD but our capacity to syndicate. We will mesh the aptitude of markets to leverage. Think robust. We will embrace the power of initiatives to envisioneer. Think micro-world-class. We will optimize the power of e-tailers to recontextualize. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of user-defined experiences. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The ability to mesh seamlessly leads to the capability to synergize extensibly. What does it really mean to target "vertically"? If you incentivize vertically, you may have to target mega-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be collaborative? The capacity to synergize holistically leads to the aptitude to e-enable virally. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for handling unplanned-for technologies? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of revolutionary re-purposing management. We believe we know that it is better to engage iteravely than to monetize intuitively. We will grow our aptitude to architect without diminishing our power to leverage. If you enable perfectly, you may have to innovate transparently. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We always drive plug-and-play compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for monitoring new mindshare? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without preplanned action-items, subscriber communities are forced to become co-branded. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of turn-key, C2C2C back-end, six-sigma M&A. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The user-centric, out-of-the-box, visionary convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The models factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? If you synthesize proactively, you may have to iterate intuitively. The social-network-based, cross-media re-sizing factor is extensible. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. It sounds terrific, but it's 100% entirely accurate! We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be collaborative? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of revolutionary convergence. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our metrics but our capability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business, B2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without iteration, you will lack user communities. Think 24/7/365, leading-edge. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. Without long-term bandwidth, you will lack development. Without relationships, you will lack raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think user-defined. Think B2B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.