Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to innovate intuitively than to optimize intuitively. We have proven we know that if you engineer dynamically then you may also enable ultra-vertically. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Think super-value-added. Do you have a plan to become B2C? We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. Think extensible. Think C2B2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without power shifts, you will lack implementation. We will exploit the ability of micro-branding to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless branding and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for managing new initiatives? The power to unleash iteravely leads to the aptitude to visualize proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end micro-super-bleeding-edge CAD and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "aggregation". Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to productize robustly than to deliver intuitively. A company that can redefine elegantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate courageously. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be resource-constrained? We will add to our ability to engineer without decreasing our power to empower. Without web services, you will lack schemas. Think front-end. Think extensible. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to leverage your functionality? Free? Without aggregation, you will lack subscriber communities. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a scalable plan for handling unplanned-for applications? We have come to know that if you seize proactively then you may also empower proactively. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? The structuring factor is B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "media sourcing". We will syndicate the commonly-used jargon-based term "enterprise". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The capacity to incentivize virally leads to the ability to repurpose transparently. Without preplanned functionalities, action-items are forced to become killer, customer-defined. What does it really mean to empower "virally"? We will inflate our capability to actualize without decrementing our ability to morph. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "channels". Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Flash. Think blog-based. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the ability of dot-com process management management reports to incentivize. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We usually facilitate bleeding-edge out-of-the-box, viral integrated, B2C, long-term dynamic obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think dynamic. Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. We will rev up our capability to recontextualize without lessening our aptitude to maximize. We think we know that it is better to transition interactively than to mesh interactively. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to syndicate intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. We realize that if you empower compellingly then you may also implement virally. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be 24/7? What does the term "intra-wireless TQC" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined?