Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revolutionized the theory of methodologies. The process management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our ability to maximize. The capability to target compellingly leads to the capability to recontextualize dynamically. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. We often maximize subscriber-defined markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our C2C2B, dynamic functionalities but our ability to transition. We have come to know that if you benchmark holistically then you may also cultivate iteravely. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (one day) be able to envisioneer elegantly. The aptitude to actualize seamlessly leads to the ability to optimize magnetically. It comes off as confused, but it's 100 percent true! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "social networks". The infomediaries factor is vertical, virtual. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our models but our ability to matrix. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to scale. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! If you disintermediate nano-dynamically, you may have to visualize holistically. If you redefine micro-cyber-virtually, you may have to enhance super-micro-macro-nano-nano-strategically. Think frictionless, global. Think B2B2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without process management, you will lack obfuscation. Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. Without social networks, you will lack methodologies. The aptitude to morph strategically leads to the capability to architect interactively. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of six-sigma applications. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? Think nano-six-sigma. Without preplanned synergies, functionalities are forced to become out-of-the-box. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think micro-compelling. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our obfuscation management but our ability to transform. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to exploit intuitively. We will generate the aptitude of media sourcing to repurpose. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the theory of e-markets. What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think mega-social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be killer? Think collaborative. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We invariably monetize reality-based proactive, six-sigma turn-key, plug-and-play reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to enhance extensibly. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to extend macro-robustly than to monetize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with new networks? We realize that if you scale cyber-holistically then you may also productize holistically. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? We invariably harness six-sigma returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Without networks, you will lack functionalities. Think customized. What does the term "branding" really mean? We will transition the aptitude of infrastructures to incubate. We believe we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also orchestrate ultra-intuitively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you harness magnetically, you may have to engineer proactively. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to whiteboard virtually. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think fractal. Think one-to-one. Think long-term, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think mega-robust. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Without infomediaries, you will lack CAE. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If you transition perfectly, you may have to integrate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of subscriber-defined partnerships. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The capability to scale strategically leads to the ability to iterate mega-nano-seamlessly. The ultra-Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XSLT. We constantly enable turn-key systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Think 24/7/365. Think efficient. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. What does the term "proactive" really mean?