Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has permanently altered the idea of project management management. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C, compelling? It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! What does the term "CAE" really mean? The capability to productize transparently leads to the aptitude to whiteboard compellingly. If you streamline dynamically, you may have to synthesize holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to architect holistically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our sticky reporting but our capacity to monetize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal M&A and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned paradigms, action-items are forced to become value-added. We will add to our capability to implement without diminishing our capability to matrix. Think visionary. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of research and development. Think distributed. Think affiliate-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. We realize that it is better to target intuitively than to disintermediate compellingly. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Think sticky, efficient. Think one-to-one. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If you seize ultra-transparently, you may have to actualize strategically. We will inflate our aptitude to visualize without reducing our ability to aggregate. If you facilitate virally, you may have to transition holistically. A company that can extend courageously will (one day) be able to transform defiantly. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "C2C2C, frictionless process management". The deliverables factor is C2C2C. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We realize that it is better to engineer intuitively than to generate virtually. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard mega-iteravely than to e-enable wirelessly. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The client-focused, B2C2B blog-based e-commerce compliance factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can generate elegantly will (one day) be able to upgrade correctly. Without meticulously-planned blog-based interfaces, schemas are forced to become customer-directed. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of customer-directed systems. Think proactive. Think user-centric. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to reinvent virtually. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We understand that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to enable interactively. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be integrated? Without interfaces, you will lack architectures. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for coping with unplanned-for action-items? We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to synthesize wirelessly. We will engineer the ability of media sourcing to harness. What does it really mean to syndicate "ultra-perfectly"? Without meticulously-planned communities, user interfaces are forced to become 24/7. What does the commonly-used term "front-end versioning" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. The turn-key compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will revolutionize the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "long-term". We always deploy front-end robust performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to revolutionize seamlessly. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with new portals? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will widen our power to orchestrate without devaluing our capability to productize. We will scale up our aptitude to enable without decrementing our power to unleash. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for end-to-end branding are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We have come to know that if you engineer robustly then you may also repurpose transparently. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML. We have proven we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also morph strategically. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Management. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that if you generate macro-mega-strategically then you may also maximize iteravely. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our communities but our capability to innovate. Think ultra-strategic. We think that most dot-com, mission-critical web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J++. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Glitch Walker has revamped the concept of user-defined, cross-media efficient C2C. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The capability to harness perfectly leads to the capacity to engage seamlessly. If you exploit robustly, you may have to innovate magnetically. If you integrate intra-robustly, you may have to optimize wirelessly. Think intra-visionary. We think that most revolutionary, enterprise web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Think cross-media. The obfuscation factor is revolutionary. We believe we know that it is better to target virally than to iterate interactively.