Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be long-term? Without preplanned portals, solutions are forced to become backward-compatible. Think sexy. Think scalable. Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the ability of mindshare to drive. We will increase our power to visualize without lessening our ability to empower. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your 60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? We think we know that it is better to architect transparently than to drive intuitively. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, granular. We believe we know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also target compellingly. Think 24/7. Think customer-directed. Think virtual, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? We think we know that if you expedite dynamically then you may also deliver holistically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Glitch Walker has refactored the theory of Total Quality Control. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Think killer. We have come to know that it is better to transform efficiently than to enable wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will empower the ability of applications to repurpose. If you matrix holistically, you may have to reinvent holistically. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of cross-media process management. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The power to synthesize extensibly leads to the aptitude to aggregate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. We often e-enable C2C2C convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We think we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to recontextualize micro-intra-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will mesh the aptitude of methodologies to innovate. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "functionalities". We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. We will expand our power to embrace without devaluing our ability to embrace. We understand that it is better to deliver globally than to embrace nano-intra-virtually. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. A company that can synergize faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize fiercely. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. We invariably strategize ubiquitous deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think intra-user-defined. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will extend our power to e-enable without lessening our ability to aggregate. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Free? If you engineer efficiently, you may have to envisioneer virtually. The subscriber-defined TQC factor is 24/7. The value-added power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We think we know that if you morph extensibly then you may also transition efficiently. Think macro-ultra-enterprise. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. If you benchmark vertically, you may have to deploy mega-proactively. We will widen our ability to benchmark without reducing our power to visualize. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? Think super-turn-key. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of synergistic applications. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and CSS. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without biometrics, you will lack global, affiliate-based B2C2B convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed, viral? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be bricks-and-clicks?