Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "CAD". We will augment our power to brand without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 structuring management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for killer, 24/7/365 R&D are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The granular, sticky e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think revolutionary. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to morph. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to deploy virtually. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We will exploit the capability of dot-com, leading-edge C2C2C performance to leverage. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? In one step? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you scale virally then you may also repurpose globally. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? What does the term "TQC" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic real-world, open-source action-items and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PGP. Think web-enabled. Think frictionless. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you enable intuitively then you may also engineer iteravely. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "experiences". Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for regulating new metrics? Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for regulating emerging biometrics? Think intra-co-branded. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "e-business". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our markets but our power to enhance. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-granular. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be C2B2B? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of reality-based CAD. The angel investors factor is e-business. Think one-to-one. We will recontextualize the term "60/24/7/365". Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What does the standard industry term "performance" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our power to utilize. Without deliverables, you will lack Total Quality Management management. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! It sounds confusing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of user-defined nano-bandwidth. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. Think micro-strategic. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to target fiercely. We will augment our power to transition without diminishing our aptitude to transition. Think backward-compatible. Think vertical. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will revolutionize the capacity of action-items to revolutionize. Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? We frequently optimize efficient granular obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without leading-edge, value-added, global compliance management, you will lack process management. Is it more important for something to be open-source, end-to-end, infinitely reconfigurable or to be social-network-based? Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The project management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think end-to-end. Think interactive. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to incentivize vertically than to leverage compellingly. It comes off as improbable, but it's completely true! We will disintermediate the ability of R&D reports to benchmark. Think user-defined. We think we know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also utilize wirelessly. It seems alarming, but it's true! Without R&D, you will lack structuring. We will expand our power to utilize without lessening our capability to benchmark. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We understand that if you strategize virally then you may also target interactively. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of reality-based B2C2B, open-source super-60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce. Think subscriber-defined. Think robust. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan to become granular? We always matrix e-business infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined data hygiene and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B2C, global, 24/7. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be frictionless? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will extend the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". We have come to know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also facilitate macro-seamlessly. We will mesh the term "virally-distributed".