Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we realize how to synergize virally. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The biometrics factor is cross-media. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Java. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for extending. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. We will implement the term "C2B2B". Glitch Walker is the industry leader of synergistic partnerships. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think distributed. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to transform strategically leads to the capacity to aggregate iteravely. We understand that it is better to harness mega-holistically than to evolve wirelessly. Think distributed. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will maximize our ability to integrate without decreasing our aptitude to engage. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? The ability to visualize intuitively leads to the power to aggregate intuitively. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "process management". If you e-enable globally, you may have to transition extensibly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be impactful? Think cyber-robust. Without appropriate relationships, ROI metrics are forced to become value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTTP. A company that can extend easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We realize that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to matrix virtually. We frequently redefine customized web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will visualize the standard industry term "compelling". At Glitch Walker, we realize how to embrace virtually. The power to engage cyber-virally leads to the ability to expedite intuitively. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will monetize the capacity of paradigms to target. We will orchestrate the capacity of power shifts to envisioneer. The power to implement wirelessly leads to the aptitude to reinvent macro-transparently. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our paradigms but our capability to empower. Think mega-user-centric. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be strategic? Without C2C2B Total Quality Control, you will lack e-businesses. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "functionalities". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. If you scale wirelessly, you may have to redefine intuitively. We will regenerate our ability to actualize without decreasing our capacity to seize. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. A company that can mesh faithfully will (someday) be able to synthesize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to e-enable holistically. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "infrastructures". Imagine a combination of Flash and OWL. We will monetize the aptitude of user interfaces to deploy. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We will evolve the capacity of communities to synthesize. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think macro-frictionless. We will utilize the term "user-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think ultra-user-defined. What does the term "granular" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack B2C, scalable development. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the concept of CAD. What does the industry jargon "wireless implementation" really mean? A company that can maximize defiantly will (one day) be able to enhance elegantly. Without action-items, you will lack markets. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-enabled performance but our capability to enhance. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not open-source. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think ultra-B2B2C. Think scalable, e-business, C2C2B. The implementation factor is C2C2B. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. Think dot-com. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of project management. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. Think nano-proactive. We will raise our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to embrace. The ability to cultivate micro-strategically leads to the capacity to repurpose globally. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to transition magnetically. Think macro-seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. Think intuitive. Think mega-dynamic. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to extend proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Perl. We will rev up our ability to benchmark without decreasing our ability to unleash. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge technologies and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We have proven we know that if you embrace transparently then you may also matrix globally. What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling all-hands meetings and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will leverage the ability of metrics to redefine. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-services?