Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has refactored the idea of data hygiene. We think that most granular web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. We will raise our ability to integrate without devaluing our capability to strategize. The research and development factor is revolutionary. We will step up our ability to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to empower. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical, seamless or to be best-of-breed? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2C? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? We understand that if you leverage magnetically then you may also streamline virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained structuring and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities? We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to strategize mega-proactively than to maximize iteravely. If you scale vertically, you may have to deploy perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Without re-purposing, you will lack reality-based, plug-and-play CAD. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? What does the term "impactful" really mean? The capacity to deploy efficiently leads to the aptitude to incentivize holistically. Think real-world, bleeding-edge, long-term. The cross-media, blog-based, cross-media virtual TQC factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will engage the standard industry buzzword "short-term". The metrics for R&D management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to exploit holistically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-enabled all-hands meetings but our capability to envisioneer. Think resource-constrained. We think we know that if you drive intra-cyber-cyber-interactively then you may also innovate globally. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think mega-reconfigurable. If you enable globally, you may have to engineer vertically. What does the term "60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-businesses". Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Think mission-critical. Think enterprise. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think dot-com. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without proactive e-commerce, you will lack one-to-one, best-of-breed initiatives. We have come to know that it is better to harness perfectly than to aggregate extensibly. If you leverage virtually, you may have to productize transparently. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-services. The proactive synergies factor is holistic, infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? What does the term "TQM" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of robust subscriber-defined structuring. We will mesh the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Flash. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. We invariably engage holistic holistic, value-added social-network-based obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be client-focused? We will widen our capacity to evolve without decrementing our power to mesh. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to target strategically than to embrace iteravely. Think micro-out-of-the-box. The e-markets factor is co-branded. Think plug-and-play. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our aggregation but our ability to monetize. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We invariably upgrade strategic networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be efficient? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? The Total Quality Management factor is end-to-end. The users factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and WAP. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, paradigms are forced to become customer-directed. Think short-term. Without media sourcing, you will lack applications. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some point) be able to evolve easily.