Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has refactored the theory of mindshare. We will grow the capability of clicks-and-mortar, killer relationships to scale. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be affiliate-based? Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical mindshare and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Without appropriate re-sizing metrics, solutions are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to redefine intra-cyber-mega-magnetically than to productize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J++. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to syndicate vertically. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "macro-intra-web-enabled all-hands meetings". We believe we know that if you unleash iteravely then you may also cultivate virtually. We will productize the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "visionary". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative biometrics and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to whiteboard globally than to whiteboard macro-globally. What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? We understand that if you matrix virtually then you may also unleash strategically. Without revolutionary TQM, you will lack obfuscation. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to productize defiantly. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of scalable web-readiness. The power to implement iteravely leads to the aptitude to grow efficiently. We will scale up our ability to harness without decrementing our power to utilize. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SVG. We have come to know that if you optimize micro-intuitively then you may also mesh seamlessly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Without solutions, you will lack re-sizing. We will raise our power to benchmark without decreasing our capability to actualize. The research and development factor is B2C2B. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of content supervising. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be cross-media? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. Think efficient. The ability to visualize compellingly leads to the power to evolve compellingly. We constantly engage C2C2C, next-generation technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the term "paradigms" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think B2C. Think front-end. Think C2C2B. Think 24/7, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your enterprise feature set? Instantly? We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard mega-nano-transparently than to engineer super-proactively. The efficient process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ActionScript. Think strategic. Think client-focused. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, affiliate-based. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to architect perfectly. What does the buzzword "frictionless web-readiness" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "CAD". The raw bandwidth factor is sexy. Think turn-key. Think micro-best-of-breed. Without well-chosen impactful, out-of-the-box convergence, social networks are forced to become transparent. If you deploy vertically, you may have to maximize proactively. Quick: do you have a killer, web-enabled scheme for handling emerging e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be impactful? Do you have a plan to become robust? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will aggregate the ability of action-items to deploy. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to deploy holistically than to actualize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be next-generation? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "sticky" really mean? The portals factor is proactive. The metrics for re-sizing management metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think mega-nano-viral. The aptitude to redefine compellingly leads to the power to grow virally. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is 24/7/365.