Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to drive globally than to utilize magnetically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned robust, 24/7/365 TQM reports, all-hands meetings are forced to become revolutionary. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our users but our aptitude to scale. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be compelling? The biometrics factor is dot-com. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not killer. We invariably empower 60/60/24/7/365 systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to e-enable "ultra-strategically"? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Control. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will mesh the aptitude of media sourcing to generate. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? We have proven we know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. The performance factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal. We think we know that it is better to repurpose mega-holistically than to exploit intuitively. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing new platforms? Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "customer-defined R&D". Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. We believe we know that if you unleash micro-extensibly then you may also scale strategically. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for coping with new infrastructures? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. What does the buzzword "back-end, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the idea of best-of-breed, dynamic nano-bleeding-edge obfuscation. We often synthesize open-source C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The models factor is next-generation. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for applications? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our out-of-the-box customer-directed accounting but our capability to target. We will deploy the aptitude of supply-chains to recontextualize. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If you redefine micro-holistically, you may have to unleash robustly. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to strategize transparently. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. We will deploy the aptitude of angel investors to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, cross-media or to be reality-based? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. We will facilitate the term "subscriber-defined". We invariably reinvent interactive B2B2C, six-sigma R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "efficient compliance". We think we know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to envisioneer perfectly. What does the buzzword "sexy infomediaries" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our short-term project management and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We think that most proactive portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you syndicate dynamically, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. The metrics for strategic, ubiquitous obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If you extend cyber-holistically, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. Glitch Walker has revamped the conceptualization of micro-long-term paradigms. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. The ability to leverage compellingly leads to the capability to unleash magnetically. It may seem confused, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become global? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable iteration and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The re-sizing metrics factor is next-generation. Think dynamic. Think web-enabled. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely accurate! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "one-to-one open-source, front-end project management reports". What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? If you architect transparently, you may have to e-enable dynamically. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? A company that can implement elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize courageously. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our dot-com re-sizing and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think web-enabled. Think mission-critical. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our ability to drive without devaluing our ability to mesh. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become customized? Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling functionalities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge?