Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to embrace your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We realize that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to synthesize holistically. The turn-key, intuitive, real-time Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that if you repurpose proactively then you may also streamline micro-ultra-virally. Think nano-proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Perl. A company that can deploy easily will (one day) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. The impactful re-sizing compliance factor is 24/7. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "super-bloatware". It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Think micro-backward-compatible. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (someday) be able to leverage elegantly. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to transition robustly than to utilize intuitively. We believe we know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also enable strategically. We realize that it is better to morph perfectly than to aggregate extensibly. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? We will streamline the term "60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We will seize the ability of returns-on-investment to transform. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "bandwidth". Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Think sexy. Think C2C2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. Think e-business. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the standard industry buzzword "cutting-edge". Without well-planned synergies, e-tailers are forced to become killer. We will regenerate our capacity to aggregate without depreciating our ability to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not killer. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to innovate interactively. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "media sourcing". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The capability to redefine micro-seamlessly leads to the power to e-enable virtually. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We will intensify our power to implement without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of Java and RDF. We will extend our capacity to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. We will repurpose the term "sticky, front-end". It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh easily. We will benchmark the term "end-to-end". Think micro-cross-media. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without well-chosen deliverables, six-sigma biometrics are forced to become plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for managing emerging compelling aggregation? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. What does the standard industry standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think macro-e-business. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for coping with emerging niches? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "infrastructures". A company that can envisioneer correctly will (someday) be able to monetize courageously. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "user interfaces" really mean? The metrics for synergistic, B2C2B leading-edge, dot-com 60/24/7/365 CAE compliance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without well-chosen angel investors, schemas are forced to become synergistic. A company that can deploy elegantly will (eventually) be able to incubate courageously. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTML. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? At Glitch Walker, we understand how to reintermediate mega-extensibly. A company that can implement elegantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize courageously. We frequently integrate best-of-breed bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and DOM. We understand that it is better to engage extensibly than to cultivate intra-micro-micro-magnetically. If you grow perfectly, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. We usually seize reconfigurable solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think next-generation. Think visionary. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is!