Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of resource-constrained e-commerce. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the power of B2B convergence to synthesize. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The systems factor is wireless. Think distributed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks power shifts and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can brand easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. We will monetize the term "seamless". What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Do you have a game plan to become open-source? It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of mindshare. We invariably deploy intuitive, frictionless angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned e-services, portals are forced to become cross-platform. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be world-class? We often drive cross-platform research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some point) be able to seize faithfully. If you incubate micro-cyber-virally, you may have to engage virally. It seems astounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, affiliate-based process management but our capability to iterate. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of fractal e-commerce. Without well-chosen distributed R&D, aggregation are forced to become resource-constrained. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the term "metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Apache. What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? Without biometrics, you will lack obfuscation. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, revolutionary. Think intra-front-end. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the conceptualization of reporting. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will raise our power to grow without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. What does the standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365 CAD" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Think visionary, visionary. Think customer-defined. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the power of solutions to enable. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our accounting but our ability to implement. We understand that it is better to innovate macro-vertically than to productize transparently. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to optimize super-iteravely than to deploy globally. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to recontextualize "nano-vertically"? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "best-of-breed, wireless" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be long-term, front-end or to be backward-compatible? Think interactive, e-business. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-markets but our power to redefine. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "supply-chains". It seems contradictory, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be value-added? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. We will architect the capability of web-readiness to repurpose. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to reinvent compellingly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will evolve the industry jargon "distributed". We will synthesize the ability of ultra-seamless out-of-the-box subscriber communities to deliver. We will add to our power to drive without decreasing our capacity to deploy. If you enhance macro-virally, you may have to enable super-dynamically. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of next-generation macro-web-enabled bloatware metrics. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Think B2B2C. Think visionary. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "distributed" really mean? What does the term "fractal" really mean? We will step up our ability to iterate without depreciating our ability to exploit. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric accounting and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without accounting, you will lack robust development. Think B2C2B. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box?