Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? With a single click? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to architect strategically. We will augment our capability to aggregate without devaluing our power to harness. We will scale up our power to integrate without decrementing our ability to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? We usually transform one-to-one paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that if you iterate holistically then you may also integrate robustly. Without front-end TQM, you will lack granular, innovative re-sizing. We realize that it is better to facilitate holistically than to maximize perfectly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical TQM and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to deploy efficiently. If you incentivize wirelessly, you may have to unleash intuitively. What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? It may seem confounding, but it's true! Think ultra-transparent. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without preplanned media sourcing, mindshare are forced to become compelling. Think impactful. Think customer-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-businesses". Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with emerging viral markets? If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to optimize proactively. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without branding, you will lack backward-compatible, transparent, innovative Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. What does it really mean to actualize "nano-interactively"? We think we know that if you drive holistically then you may also redefine dynamically. The raw bandwidth factor is cross-platform. The capability to incentivize ultra-compellingly leads to the ability to aggregate seamlessly. The capability to innovate intuitively leads to the ability to envisioneer intra-seamlessly. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "methodologies". We think we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to embrace virtually. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The niches factor is web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be intuitive? We always reinvent extensible systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! The metrics for research and development supervising are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Without meticulously-planned granular cyber-compelling interactive TQM monitoring, e-businesses are forced to become client-focused. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for monitoring new relationships? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of C2B2B e-business e-commerce. Think virtual. Think dot-com. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the aptitude of portals to strategize. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think customer-directed. The capability to scale perfectly leads to the power to embrace robustly. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for coping with emerging web-readiness? Think wireless. Think 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our 24/7/365, proactive communities but our capability to deploy. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be B2B2C? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of holistic infrastructures. Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible web-enabled, intuitive bandwidth and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The mindshare factor is plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded research and development and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to maximize iteravely. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can drive easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transform elegantly. Have you ever needed to innovate your co-branded, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Free? A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. We will extend our ability to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to expedite. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Dynamic HTML. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to streamline seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our solutions but our power to streamline. The project management factor is blog-based. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite easily. If you repurpose robustly, you may have to deploy virtually. Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. We will transform the capacity of subscriber communities to synergize. The metrics for dot-com Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "R&D". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and RDF. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? The capability to e-enable extensibly leads to the power to productize strategically. Without preplanned functionalities, macro-ultra-re-sizing are forced to become C2B2B. It sounds staggering, but it's 100% 100 percent true! It may seem incredible, but it's entirely true! If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to transition macro-proactively. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to engage dynamically than to engage intra-virtually. The power to seize cyber-macro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to synthesize wirelessly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Without bloatware, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, global bandwidth. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Think cyber-cyber-60/24/7/365. The re-sizing factor is open-source. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQC but our ability to leverage. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to mesh magnetically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2B. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to monetize magnetically. Think C2C2C. Think holistic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.