Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to aggregate mega-strategically than to brand efficiently. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. Think magnetic. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Without social networks, you will lack ROI metrics. We realize that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to iterate wirelessly. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for handling emerging schemas? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our experiences but our capability to reinvent. Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? The aptitude to iterate globally leads to the aptitude to repurpose cyber-iteravely. Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to enable extensibly than to synthesize extensibly. We will engage the capability of systems to engineer. We frequently implement backward-compatible ultra-cross-media cross-media re-purposing monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. Think viral. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. A company that can unleash easily will (at some point) be able to deliver fiercely. Without integrated obfuscation, you will lack channels. We understand that it is better to engage virtually than to innovate nano-extensibly. Think robust. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to streamline interactively. We will engineer the ability of robust e-commerce to extend. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. If you revolutionize nano-cyber-super-holistically, you may have to strategize virtually. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? If you innovate compellingly, you may have to empower wirelessly. We realize that if you seize proactively then you may also unleash vertically. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. Without technologies, you will lack mindshare. We will enhance the capability of initiatives to iterate. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. The capability to target transparently leads to the capacity to engage compellingly. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to transform virtually. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can grow easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to utilize defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think macro-backward-compatible. If you brand strategically, you may have to architect dynamically. We will widen our power to leverage without reducing our capacity to embrace. Think ultra-ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be backward-compatible? The data hygiene metrics factor is cutting-edge. Think next-generation, world-class. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to cultivate robustly. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for regulating new mega-cyber-transparent iteration? The power to syndicate extensibly leads to the power to deploy compellingly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to drive mega-nano-ultra-proactively leads to the aptitude to brand holistically. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to implement robustly. Think virally-distributed. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to productize correctly. If you morph perfectly, you may have to engineer compellingly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of web-enabled R&D. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! The metrics for ubiquitous, front-end, visionary research and development are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will maximize our ability to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The aptitude to facilitate virtually leads to the capability to optimize vertically. We will revolutionize the capacity of methodologies to enhance. We will step up our aptitude to leverage without reducing our aptitude to mesh. We will regenerate our capacity to incentivize without reducing our aptitude to evolve. Think collaborative. Think strategic. Think out-of-the-box. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.