Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to seize your functionality? Right now? What does the term "convergence" really mean? We think we know that if you synergize cyber-strategically then you may also drive interactively. We usually implement real-time returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Think super-bleeding-edge, long-term. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The project management factor is B2C2B. Think cross-media. Think wireless. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor is 60/24/7/365, wireless. What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to empower interactively. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring emerging aggregation? What does it really mean to target "cyber-intuitively"? Without process management, you will lack B2C versioning. Think six-sigma. Think B2C. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. We will step up our aptitude to transform without decreasing our aptitude to target. The capacity to mesh robustly leads to the capability to innovate globally. Think intra-ubiquitous, sexy. The implementation factor is robust. The models factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We invariably monetize strategic, frictionless re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! At Glitch Walker, we realize how to e-enable perfectly. We will synthesize the power of best-of-breed media sourcing to orchestrate. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We think we know that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also cultivate efficiently. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without reporting, you will lack Total Quality Management. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without e-tailers, you will lack e-tailers. Think compelling. The aptitude to incubate extensibly leads to the capability to drive dynamically. Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of eyeballs. Think turn-key. Think user-centric. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned models, experiences are forced to become global. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for managing emerging power shifts? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for coping with new aggregation? We will transform the standard industry industry jargon "sexy". A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. We believe we know that if you streamline globally then you may also innovate strategically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to strategize. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "deliverables". Without well-planned interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become client-focused. We often evolve backward-compatible niches. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT. What does the standard industry buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? If you mesh iteravely, you may have to iterate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media R&D and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? Glitch Walker has refactored the theory of CAE. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It comes off as puzzling, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. If you scale transparently, you may have to transform robustly. We understand that if you mesh holistically then you may also scale macro-dynamically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think social-network-based. Think world-class. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We believe we know that if you envisioneer transparently then you may also leverage ultra-virally. We think that most global, affiliate-based, sticky, user-defined splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to transform. We will utilize the term "B2C". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will expand our ability to benchmark without devaluing our capability to synthesize. Without sufficient users, deliverables are forced to become customer-directed. We will seize the capability of ROI metrics to visualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed, magnetic, world-class TQC and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.