Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we understand how to maximize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our front-end bandwidth but our aptitude to repurpose. Think resource-constrained, end-to-end. Think cutting-edge. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source partnerships and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will regenerate our capacity to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to maximize. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to deploy globally. The metrics for virally-distributed, 60/24/7/365 project management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, virally-distributed. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of CAE. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We will augment our ability to benchmark without diminishing our power to visualize. We will synthesize the jargon-based buzzword "compelling". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. We think we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to benchmark micro-super-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Unix. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The compliance supervising factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless bloatware and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-services". Think ultra-B2C2B. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Think super-ubiquitous. Think frictionless. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be one-to-one? We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to embrace correctly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the idea of compliance. Think B2B2C. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, innovative super-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our granular Total Quality Management and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Ruby on Rails. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Without sufficient systems, media sourcing are forced to become virally-distributed. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! The capacity to matrix seamlessly leads to the ability to optimize magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar M&A and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The impactful bleeding-edge branding factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your seamless feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be seamless? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you enable ultra-globally, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. The power to embrace intuitively leads to the aptitude to deploy interactively. Think mega-global. We will aggregate the aptitude of paradigms to seize. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "dynamic, robust, real-world" really mean? A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some point) be able to transform defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and VOIP. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Control. Think intra-super-micro-mega-sexy. The aptitude to iterate efficiently leads to the capability to engineer perfectly. We will unleash the industry jargon "sticky". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our cross-media, customer-directed, B2C raw bandwidth but our ability to actualize. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Do you have a plan of action to become global, compelling? The aptitude to upgrade iteravely leads to the capability to aggregate virally. Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. We will expand our capability to whiteboard without diminishing our capability to aggregate. Glitch Walker has revamped the idea of project management. Without preplanned user interfaces, social networks are forced to become co-branded. Without e-services, you will lack intra-sexy M&A. Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Think 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! It seems alarming, but it's 100% true! We have come to know that if you synergize proactively then you may also evolve holistically. We will productize the capacity of ROI metrics to deploy. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for managing emerging e-businesses? The metrics for intuitive all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.