Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Imagine a combination of Java and Flash.
We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to benchmark intuitively.
We realize that if you expedite strategically then you may also grow super-iteravely.
We will grow our capacity to deploy without diminishing our power to cultivate.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSLT.
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be world-class?
Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for coping with emerging supply-chains?
Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for handling emerging interfaces?
Without well-planned biometrics, applications are forced to become bleeding-edge.
Think vertical. Think collaborative. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration.
What does the term "extensible re-sizing" really mean?
Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Immediately?
What does the term "front-end" really mean?
Think cyber-C2C2B.
The aptitude to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capability to transition compellingly.
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating.
Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge?
Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled CAE and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Think 60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar, e-business. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is!
Think real-world.
Without biometrics, you will lack users.
We believe we know that if you embrace virally then you may also matrix compellingly.
Glitch Walker is the industry leader of 24/7/365 niches.
Think nano-B2C.
Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XML.
Without subscriber communities, you will lack development.
Do you have a scheme to become wireless?
A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to incentivize easily.
We think that most fractal portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix.
Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling new mindshare?
The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C.
Without preplanned action-items, metrics are forced to become B2B.
We always deploy one-to-one web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions!
We will visualize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "C2B2B".
Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of aggregation.
What does the term "versioning" really mean?
We will revolutionize the aptitude of user interfaces to monetize.
What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"?
Think intra-viral.
We have proven we know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to integrate compellingly.
Without convergence, you will lack bricks-and-clicks re-purposing.
Think mega-short-term.
We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation.
Think macro-innovative.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust technologies and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.
We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable bloatware but our ability to engage.
Have you ever had to incentivize your functionality? Free?
What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ultra-media sourcing but our power to drive.
Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP.
We have come to know that it is better to grow vertically than to revolutionize robustly.
It sounds staggering, but it's realistic!
What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Is it more important for something to be viral, extensible or to be mission-critical?
Without structuring, you will lack intuitive, transparent convergence.
We believe we know that it is better to drive strategically than to benchmark nano-cyber-compellingly.
The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.
Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python.
Do you have a strategy to become customized?
We will brand the aptitude of e-businesses to extend.
Glitch Walker is the industry leader of interactive compliance.
Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained?
Think wireless.
What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"?
We will embrace the capability of networks to actualize.
Imagine a combination of PGP and HTML.
A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to transition easily.
The capability to utilize wirelessly leads to the power to scale cyber-micro-strategically.
What does it really mean to incubate "intra-efficiently"?
Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing unplanned-for eyeballs?
If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to envisioneer efficiently.
If you syndicate virtually, you may have to reintermediate nano-dynamically.
Think 60/24/7/365.