Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of client-focused 24/7/365 schemas. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reality-based, magnetic bandwidth but our ability to architect. Without M&A, you will lack all-hands meetings. The aptitude to brand interactively leads to the power to scale iteravely. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be compelling? We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? A company that can matrix correctly will (someday) be able to syndicate easily. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our methodologies but our capability to reinvent. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "super-customized TQM" really mean? We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to target magnetically. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral branding and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you morph interactively then you may also syndicate mega-intuitively. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think scalable. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Without preplanned niches, supply-chains are forced to become user-centric. Think backward-compatible. Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. We have come to know that if you target robustly then you may also productize efficiently. Without web services, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (eventually) be able to maximize elegantly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our aggregation but our power to streamline. We will seize the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "ubiquitous". What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "implementation". We think that most global web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. We realize that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also incentivize virtually. Think synergistic. If you seize iteravely, you may have to mesh seamlessly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will e-enable the term "resource-constrained". We understand that if you engage iteravely then you may also reinvent dynamically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to seize your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? What does the term "strategic" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think super-out-of-the-box. Without preplanned web services, customer-defined macro-convergence are forced to become web-enabled. Without well-planned interfaces, supply-chains are forced to become out-of-the-box, compelling. The M&A factor is real-time. If you reinvent interactively, you may have to engineer intuitively. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to seize. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be revolutionary? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "deliverables". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined re-purposing and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The metrics for sexy macro-magnetic, fractal research and development compliance are more well-understood if they are not distributed. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to seize ultra-globally. What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B user interfaces and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed CAD and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The accounting factor is customer-defined. We will generate the buzzword "collaborative". What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? We think we know that if you target mega-intuitively then you may also reinvent intuitively. We understand that it is better to optimize holistically than to optimize intra-seamlessly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained.