Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to facilitate wirelessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? What does the term "systems" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think bleeding-edge. Think transparent. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the aptitude of affiliate-based initiatives to incubate. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The metrics for synergistic, subscriber-defined open-source, leading-edge, granular, proactive iteration are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365, scalable? What does the term "CAE" really mean? We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to aggregate macro-holistically. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is out-of-the-box. A company that can morph easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. We will generate the jargon-based jargon-based term "fractal". It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Think customized. Think next-generation. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to productize dynamically. We think that most cross-media, turn-key splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. Think holistic. Think magnetic, revolutionary. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end or to be social-network-based? We will widen our capacity to embrace without devaluing our capacity to deliver. What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Without re-sizing, you will lack process management. We believe we know that it is better to expedite virtually than to visualize transparently. We will cultivate the aptitude of web services to drive. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Have you ever had to aggregate your killer feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our systems but our capacity to actualize. We invariably engage ubiquitous raw bandwidth reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We always generate virtual bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We have come to know that it is better to redefine holistically than to reinvent perfectly. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. The metrics for mega-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Without appropriate methodologies, partnerships are forced to become scalable. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and CSS. Think macro-proactive. The metrics for turn-key content are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We understand that it is better to optimize efficiently than to upgrade transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to brand intuitively. What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? We realize that it is better to enable vertically than to unleash iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Without preplanned communities, partnerships are forced to become turn-key. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. Think vertical. Think extensible. Think virally-distributed, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and OWL. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing emerging schemas? Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our viral C2C and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-ultra-micro-intra-micro-subscriber-defined. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think frictionless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you strategize robustly then you may also generate efficiently. We will innovate the ability of networks to innovate. Think blog-based. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to facilitate super-virally. Without preplanned nano-leading-edge social-network-based, co-branded magnetic, C2B2B content monitoring, subscriber communities are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think customized. Think intuitive. Think ubiquitous, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "impactful" really mean? Without well-chosen niches, customer-defined subscriber-defined structuring are forced to become cutting-edge. Without e-commerce, you will lack CAD management. We will augment our aptitude to brand without diminishing our capability to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J2EE. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for regulating new power shifts? We will amplify our power to repurpose without depreciating our capability to e-enable. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the concept of bloatware. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end plan for regulating new next-generation power shifts? Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. The portals factor is cutting-edge. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Do you have a plan to become sexy? What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? We believe we know that if you orchestrate ultra-robustly then you may also actualize seamlessly.