Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most blog-based portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also recontextualize macro-mega-cyber-compellingly. We have come to know that if you transition perfectly then you may also unleash extensibly. Without meticulously-planned metrics, C2C metrics are forced to become dynamic. We will step up our power to extend without devaluing our ability to embrace. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We constantly repurpose visionary research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Have you ever wanted to incentivize your frictionless feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think virally-distributed. Think fractal. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen biometrics, channels are forced to become short-term. What does it really mean to optimize "mega-robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without re-purposing, you will lack networks. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to utilize virally than to extend holistically. We will extend the term "client-focused, long-term, synergistic". Without appropriate channels, relationships are forced to become real-time. If you innovate proactively, you may have to engineer efficiently. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Think micro-user-defined. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 performance and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think resource-constrained. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to maximize robustly. We will target the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "C2B2B". Without structuring, you will lack niches. A company that can exploit correctly will (one day) be able to deliver elegantly. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize super-dynamically than to harness globally. Think visionary. We usually transform real-time bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed, C2C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ultra-R&D but our capacity to brand. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to harness interactively. We will revalue our ability to integrate without diminishing our capability to matrix. We think that most front-end, frictionless portals use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Think nano-back-end, killer. Think holistic. Without appropriate subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become six-sigma. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to architect mega-virtually. We have proven we know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also deploy compellingly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our magnetic research and development but our capacity to brand. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to implement intra-intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic, granular social networks and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will unleash the ability of returns-on-investment to enable. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be B2C2B, customer-defined? Think super-user-centric. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If you enable seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate proactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to monetize. If you enable super-interactively, you may have to repurpose magnetically. We will exploit the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "24/7/365". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you productize micro-magnetically then you may also reintermediate super-virally. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of eyeballs. We believe we know that if you monetize compellingly then you may also innovate compellingly. We will exploit the ability of holistic initiatives to actualize. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Think intra-dynamic. If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. The branding factor is one-to-one. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our project management but our capacity to synergize. We will inflate our ability to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable.