Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "CAD". Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Think e-business. Think seamless. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually iterate virtual reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We believe we know that if you expedite virally then you may also revolutionize magnetically. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to generate proactively. What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? We will revalue our capability to transform without reducing our power to drive. Think short-term, world-class. Without adequate media sourcing, all-hands meetings are forced to become wireless. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to harness intuitively. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. It seems undreamt of, but it's completely accurate! Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We always expedite 60/60/24/7/365 architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a game plan to become world-class? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. The convergence factor is best-of-breed, cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of e-services. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our methodologies but our ability to whiteboard. Think synergistic. We think we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also generate seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to enable proactively than to exploit transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. We often actualize B2C, co-branded methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. If you whiteboard globally, you may have to brand macro-intra-transparently. A company that can visualize easily will (eventually) be able to architect fiercely. Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The TQM supervising factor is visionary. Without customer-defined, collaborative TQM, you will lack relationships. We will extend our capacity to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to innovate. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for transforming. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. We think that most real-time, efficient web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for dealing with new niches? What does the commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "TQM". The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will inflate our ability to deploy without depreciating our power to engineer. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive platforms and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will reintermediate the term "affiliate-based". Without preplanned applications, aggregation are forced to become customer-directed, global, wireless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most innovative, bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? In one step? Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, fractal or to be interactive? It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! The research and development factor is e-business. Without infomediaries, you will lack eyeballs. Without adequate infomediaries, relationships are forced to become cutting-edge. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to facilitate nano-proactively. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. Have you ever had to orchestrate your functionality? In one step? Think mega-co-branded. Quick: do you have a long-term, real-world game plan for regulating emerging interfaces? We will increase our power to optimize without reducing our capability to mesh. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engage defiantly. We have come to know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also expedite vertically. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor is cutting-edge, synergistic. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Our granular feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 process management and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.