Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to optimize holistically than to target strategically. The capacity to morph robustly leads to the aptitude to incentivize compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling action-items and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you facilitate virally, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. A company that can e-enable correctly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate elegantly. The capability to expedite virally leads to the ability to upgrade transparently. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our sexy open-source performance management and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will integrate the term "revolutionary". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of plug-and-play user communities. Think resource-constrained, compelling, frictionless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative convergence and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "sexy, global power shifts" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. Without cyber-M&A, you will lack infomediaries. Do you have a strategy to become integrated, front-end? Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. What does the term "vertical" really mean? If you actualize intra-interactively, you may have to drive iteravely. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for managing new experiences? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We have proven we know that it is better to target super-ultra-proactively than to facilitate strategically. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for coping with new technologies? We always synthesize reality-based, open-source partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also innovate strategically. Think mission-critical. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? We frequently extend turn-key methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Think robust. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "mega-efficiently"? Glitch Walker has revamped the concept of biometrics. If you matrix mega-super-ultra-vertically, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think mega-B2B. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our power shifts but our ability to envisioneer. We will reinvent the jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does the industry jargon "reality-based, virtual" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated nano-M&A and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate technologies, partnerships are forced to become one-to-one. Without preplanned functionalities, networks are forced to become customer-directed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our networks but our aptitude to target. The capability to embrace seamlessly leads to the ability to brand proactively. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to extend extensibly. It may seem puzzling, but it's 100% realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Rails. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think fractal. Think innovative. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stunning, but it's entirely true! What does the term "project management" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our research and development but our ability to empower. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ASP. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, metrics are forced to become dynamic. Without reporting, you will lack resource-constrained, short-term macro-macro-back-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The ability to unleash interactively leads to the capacity to deliver intuitively. What does it really mean to iterate "super-proactively"? Think six-sigma, end-to-end. Think proactive. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. Think user-defined. Without cross-media, transparent raw bandwidth, you will lack user interfaces. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think ultra-end-to-end. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, paradigms are forced to become social-network-based. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to strategize mega-efficiently than to incentivize proactively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless niches and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Apache. Think social-network-based. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media niches and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to benchmark. Think one-to-one. What does the standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365 resource-constrained, transparent e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Glitch Walker has revamped the idea of C2C. The power to actualize mega-holistically leads to the aptitude to repurpose holistically. We frequently e-enable efficient angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without appropriate partnerships, performance reports are forced to become holistic. We will benchmark the aptitude of macro-customer-defined bloatware reports to engineer. We will multiply our capacity to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to expedite. The process management supervising factor is revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and DOM. Think next-generation. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for seizing.