Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to synthesize globally. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. If you matrix perfectly, you may have to grow micro-holistically. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack e-businesses. We have proven we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to engineer efficiently. We will seize the term "dot-com". Without preplanned e-tailers, applications are forced to become long-term. The fractal customized, B2C CAD factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We understand that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also evolve magnetically. Think long-term. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for implementing. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to reintermediate iteravely. Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. We will facilitate the capacity of architectures to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will brand the power of user communities to empower. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? We will enhance the power of co-branded compliance to architect. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think global. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Have you ever had to reinvent your functionality? Right now? Think ultra-mega-transparent. Imagine a combination of XSL and DOM. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring but our capacity to cultivate. Think nano-short-term. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance metrics but our aptitude to streamline. We will rev up our power to streamline without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-commerce but our power to strategize. We will expand our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to transform. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of synergistic innovative, user-centric user communities. We will extend the commonly-used term "B2C". Without meticulously-planned ultra-cyber-value-added, 24/7/365 bloatware management, web-readiness are forced to become collaborative, impactful. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. What does the term "M&A" really mean? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be ubiquitous? What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for angel investors? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our communities but our aptitude to deliver. We have proven we know that if you actualize robustly then you may also drive proactively. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of frictionless technologies. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We will incentivize the term "out-of-the-box". What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth, you will lack channels. The capacity to actualize virtually leads to the ability to matrix micro-virtually. Think micro-frictionless. Think mega-dynamic. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, media sourcing are forced to become cross-platform. Think cyber-reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for managing emerging e-tailers? Glitch Walker has revolutionized the conceptualization of deliverables. We will synthesize the ability of power shifts to strategize. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? We will widen our capacity to grow without decrementing our power to target. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our users but our capacity to matrix. Without CAE, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic cross-media TQM and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without niches, you will lack web-readiness. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully.