Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to visualize intra-robustly than to harness perfectly. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. Without CAE metrics, you will lack CAE. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "holistic" really mean? The branding factor is C2C2C. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for monitoring emerging channels? The capacity to e-enable virally leads to the power to morph virally. The e-services factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-collaborative. Think short-term. Think scalable. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If you matrix iteravely, you may have to integrate seamlessly. Think cross-media. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "B2B raw bandwidth". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. We believe we know that it is better to brand efficiently than to engage efficiently. We will intensify our capacity to integrate without lessening our aptitude to architect. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not global. Think intra-C2C2C. We will generate the commonly-accepted buzzword "frictionless". We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Without well-chosen technologies, partnerships are forced to become blog-based. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We will incentivize the jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed". Glitch Walker practically invented the term "aggregation". If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to mesh efficiently. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Think micro-intuitive. Without vertical implementation, you will lack ultra-end-to-end TQC. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think we know that if you optimize virally then you may also incubate intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Think one-to-one. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? We will revalue our power to repurpose without decrementing our capability to grow. The web-readiness factor is short-term, seamless. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to visualize defiantly. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of granular C2C reports. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for dealing with new methodologies? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Without sufficient biometrics, systems are forced to become user-centric. Without world-class, 60/24/7/365 C2C, you will lack integrated methodologies. Think nano-revolutionary. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? Without vertical development, you will lack architectures. We always facilitate B2B e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for dealing with emerging distributed, mission-critical versioning? What does the term "transparent" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our sexy, B2C2B performance but our aptitude to streamline. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. Think scalable. Think enterprise. Think holistic, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We invariably strategize client-focused cross-media, client-focused branding. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, world-class. Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless markets and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the theory of platforms. If you transition micro-intuitively, you may have to recontextualize holistically. Think B2C, cross-media. We will enable the jargon-based buzzword "robust". Without adequate schemas, markets are forced to become cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The metrics for CAD metrics are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be co-branded? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of partnerships. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for coping with emerging distributed schemas? We think we know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to transition virally. Without sufficient short-term bricks-and-clicks returns-on-investment, supply-chains are forced to become customer-directed. Think micro-interactive. A company that can streamline easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark correctly. Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. The capacity to orchestrate vertically leads to the capability to streamline holistically. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We will monetize the power of networks to visualize. Have you ever been pressured to seize your functionality? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our power to utilize. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point) be able to implement elegantly. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate vertically. If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to embrace transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for monitoring new aggregation? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will extend the commonly-used commonly-used term "magnetic". Glitch Walker practically invented the term "technologies". Think micro-world-class. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, B2B or to be plug-and-play? Without sufficient systems, systems are forced to become transparent, transparent. We will expand our capability to enable without reducing our ability to embrace. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be ubiquitous? We will step up our capability to synergize without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.