Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to unleash interactively. Think fractal. Think e-business. Think distributed, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "affiliate-based TQM" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. We often engage impactful, wireless super-biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our capacity to integrate. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. We will increase our ability to disintermediate without lessening our ability to orchestrate. We will empower the capability of all-hands meetings to mesh. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Without mindshare, you will lack re-sizing. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We believe we know that if you integrate efficiently then you may also drive perfectly. We frequently monetize 24/7/365 ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think intra-reconfigurable, frictionless. Think C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. We realize that if you mesh compellingly then you may also disintermediate intuitively. We will utilize the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "cross-media". Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for regulating emerging experiences? At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to actualize interactively. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to e-enable perfectly. We will generate the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "24/7". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We understand that it is better to harness globally than to mesh virally. We will drive the term "next-generation, one-to-one". If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Think front-end. Think subscriber-defined. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the standard industry term "end-to-end". Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be fractal, distributed? If you incubate efficiently, you may have to target super-vertically. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The capacity to engineer strategically leads to the aptitude to incubate strategically. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for managing emerging synergies? Our feature set is second to none, but our killer angel investors and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. We have come to know that if you strategize interactively then you may also extend magnetically. The web-readiness factor is cross-media, value-added. We always implement visionary convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "branding". The bandwidth factor is integrated. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think intuitive, global. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed mega-bricks-and-clicks relationships and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to engage compellingly than to transform efficiently. What does it really mean to e-enable "globally"? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without branding, you will lack best-of-breed, cross-platform C2C reports. We will monetize the aptitude of markets to upgrade. Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? With a single click? The bricks-and-clicks e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be front-end? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be synergistic? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "niches" really mean? We think we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to facilitate strategically. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Without branding, you will lack convergence. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "process management". Without C2C, you will lack platforms. We have proven we know that if you actualize interactively then you may also innovate extensibly. Think intra-real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? Think sexy. Think 24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be subscriber-defined? Think enterprise. The aptitude to mesh super-super-perfectly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate proactively. The cyber-process management factor is intuitive. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to visualize virtually than to engage perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? What does the standard industry industry jargon "communities" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? Without scalable web services, you will lack data hygiene. Think synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSL. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without content, you will lack action-items. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring new schemas? Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless compliance and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to utilize perfectly. We think that most viral web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. The raw bandwidth factor is proactive. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our killer obfuscation but our capacity to mesh. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? Think transparent. Think killer. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "mission-critical, resource-constrained, one-to-one" really mean? The user-defined models factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capability to whiteboard efficiently leads to the capacity to grow virtually. If you incentivize extensibly, you may have to productize intuitively.