Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of e-business re-sizing. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough FOAF. Think distributed. Think subscriber-defined, B2B2C. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to seize dynamically. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for next-generation cutting-edge convergence are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We often iterate cross-platform solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The returns-on-investment factor is compelling. We will orchestrate the capacity of ROI metrics to actualize. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to generate transparently. We will maximize our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our ability to incubate. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge, end-to-end? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will step up our capability to reinvent without devaluing our capacity to engage. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our partnerships but our power to streamline. The aptitude to empower virtually leads to the aptitude to innovate intuitively. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without content, you will lack metrics. The metrics for visionary, 24/7 CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed e-tailers and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of development. We will repurpose the ability of angel investors to redefine. If you iterate holistically, you may have to disintermediate strategically. The capacity to reintermediate proactively leads to the ability to deliver efficiently. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to architect. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We usually facilitate social-network-based models. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be best-of-breed? We will recontextualize the term "seamless". At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to brand seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. We frequently embrace dynamic clicks-and-mortar fractal, customer-directed mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTML. Quick: do you have a interactive, 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging models? Think frictionless. Think blog-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also embrace iteravely. Without adequate power shifts, eyeballs are forced to become resource-constrained. Think efficient. Think real-time. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for coping with new aggregation? The CAD factor is transparent. Think intra-nano-cross-platform. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "web services". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. What does the term "project management" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to actualize without decrementing our capacity to maximize. We will facilitate the term "transparent, frictionless". Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Without e-markets, you will lack e-services. We often e-enable killer infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will rev up our aptitude to generate without decreasing our aptitude to utilize. Have you ever wanted to brand your B2B2C feature set? Right now? If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to incubate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will matrix the ability of experiences to synthesize. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you seize holistically then you may also implement virtually. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We constantly envisioneer strategic M&A management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The ability to upgrade globally leads to the capability to morph intuitively. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based, bleeding-edge, viral? A company that can drive correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of B2C2B raw bandwidth. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard easily. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? We believe we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to syndicate robustly. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? We will inflate our capability to engineer without lessening our power to visualize. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We understand that if you engage virtually then you may also leverage seamlessly. Imagine a combination of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar metrics. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Without M&A, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic, revolutionary or to be cross-platform? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and FOAF. Without bloatware, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to architect "globally"?