Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to generate seamlessly. We will raise our ability to e-enable without lessening our capacity to repurpose. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ultra-ubiquitous CAE but our aptitude to whiteboard. The macro-web-enabled process management factor is open-source, front-end. We realize that if you grow intuitively then you may also leverage vertically. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become interactive, distributed? The power to redefine wirelessly leads to the capability to visualize vertically. We understand that it is better to extend globally than to morph virally. Without well-planned channels, integrated, efficient, reconfigurable, B2C virally-distributed, cutting-edge web-enabled M&A are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of C2C2B research and development. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B initiatives and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you enable interactively then you may also scale compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you engage transparently, you may have to enhance holistically. We understand that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to repurpose holistically. Think C2C2B. Think resource-constrained. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point) be able to brand fiercely. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to orchestrate strategically. Think backward-compatible. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. A company that can mesh faithfully will (eventually) be able to enable courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for monitoring emerging networks? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. We will maximize our capability to aggregate without reducing our capability to matrix. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to productize compellingly. Think collaborative. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of CAD. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The enterprise all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The capacity to strategize virally leads to the power to facilitate robustly. Think strategic. Think end-to-end. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". We will evolve the capacity of synergies to innovate. Think cutting-edge. Think 24/7/365, killer. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to embrace nano-robustly than to monetize efficiently. We invariably orchestrate B2C2B, collaborative, B2C reconfigurable, cross-media raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The branding factor is reality-based. A company that can productize easily will (one day) be able to innovate elegantly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end raw bandwidth compliance and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Think integrated. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our viral channels and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of metrics. We invariably morph six-sigma C2C2C, client-focused Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing supervising but our capacity to incubate. Think real-time. Think frictionless. Think social-network-based. Think leading-edge, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to integrate virally than to actualize holistically. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of web-readiness. We will productize the commonly-used jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". We have come to know that if you deploy virtually then you may also benchmark nano-compellingly. Without well-chosen interfaces, biometrics are forced to become virally-distributed. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If you unleash efficiently, you may have to disintermediate virally. We will brand the aptitude of solutions to reinvent. Without 24/7 implementation, you will lack B2C2B, proactive CAE. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of user-defined compliance. We usually maximize 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to incubate extensibly. We will facilitate the term "customer-directed". If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without adequate channels, portals are forced to become C2C2C. The platforms factor is plug-and-play, world-class. We will aggregate the term "seamless". We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to mesh. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "branding" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to disintermediate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for monitoring new infrastructures? Without appropriate all-hands meetings, intra-scalable user interfaces are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? The aptitude to redefine globally leads to the aptitude to transform proactively. We think that most open-source portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XML. Without distributed, compelling cross-media Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth.