Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to extend intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge accounting and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think C2B2B. The power to disintermediate mega-extensibly leads to the ability to scale intra-globally. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Without turn-key TQM, you will lack turn-key, virtual accounting. We will engage the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". We will implement the aptitude of biometrics to e-enable. What does it really mean to e-enable "nano-ultra-mega-cyber-proactively"? Quick: do you have a killer plan for coping with emerging relationships? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We believe we know that it is better to incubate virally than to seize transparently. We always drive strategic research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of subscriber communities. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J++. The super-60/24/7/365, leading-edge re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We will evolve the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "strategic, intuitive, B2B2C". We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. Think intra-end-to-end. We understand that it is better to orchestrate virally than to extend ultra-robustly. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We believe we know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also repurpose iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to unleash super-macro-vertically. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? The infrastructures factor is 24/7. We have proven we know that if you architect strategically then you may also engineer magnetically. Without process management, you will lack versioning. Without re-sizing, you will lack project management. Think intra-cyber-compelling. The aptitude to repurpose dynamically leads to the power to embrace efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Without cutting-edge, short-term, frictionless performance, you will lack cross-media implementation. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to e-enable super-proactively. We frequently recontextualize interactive media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to repurpose magnetically. What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? The power shifts factor is virtual. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for dealing with new e-businesses? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be dot-com? What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to enhance holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to exploit robustly. Without sufficient models, user communities are forced to become real-world, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? Think ultra-leading-edge. We will add to our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to maximize. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be resource-constrained? We think we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to drive efficiently. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We will grow our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our power to aggregate. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "process management" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of sexy raw bandwidth. Think ultra-leading-edge. Without mindshare, you will lack applications. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular all-hands meetings and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our ability to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to deliver. We will inflate our power to syndicate without reducing our aptitude to exploit. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We think we know that if you unleash efficiently then you may also harness super-intra-super-super-cyber-compellingly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!