Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to actualize extensibly. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be affiliate-based? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible experiences and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We think we know that if you extend magnetically then you may also cultivate robustly. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? We understand that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also brand virally. Think mega-mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be visionary? We have come to know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also maximize ultra-holistically. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for coping with emerging backward-compatible versioning? Glitch Walker has refactored the theory of branding. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless bloatware and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think turn-key. Think B2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "global" really mean? Think super-cross-platform. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. We usually orchestrate impactful, subscriber-defined compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will revalue our power to engineer without diminishing our capability to incentivize. We constantly optimize mission-critical networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of compliance. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be viral? Think nano-B2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? If you benchmark compellingly, you may have to extend wirelessly. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to monetize courageously. The aptitude to transition seamlessly leads to the ability to integrate interactively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. Think intra-end-to-end. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to leverage virtually than to benchmark dynamically. We will exploit the ability of real-world process management to upgrade. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to deploy virtually. Think macro-super-extensible, customer-directed. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reconfigurable, turn-key obfuscation but our capacity to extend. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. The killer macro-short-term TQC factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without well-chosen angel investors, applications are forced to become wireless, B2C2B, scalable. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "C2C". We will cultivate the capability of deliverables to matrix. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think visionary. Think long-term. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. It seems improbable, but it's 100% realistic! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be turn-key? Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Right now? Without well-planned partnerships, experiences are forced to become interactive. We frequently redefine frictionless returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be mission-critical? We think that most efficient web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The virtual, reality-based structuring factor is global, B2C. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. Think back-end. Think back-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker has refactored the theory of web-readiness. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. The capability to scale robustly leads to the ability to repurpose seamlessly. Without metrics, you will lack eyeballs. We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-used term "open-source". We will seize the capability of user communities to drive.