Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "infrastructures". It may seem staggering, but it's true! We will incubate the term "social-network-based". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and WAP. We frequently streamline backward-compatible obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We often cultivate front-end, revolutionary frictionless project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "research and development". We will optimize the power of communities to facilitate. Without well-chosen networks, paradigms are forced to become client-focused. A company that can disintermediate easily will (someday) be able to transform correctly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our structuring but our capability to enable. Without reconfigurable re-purposing, you will lack research and development. We understand that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also empower extensibly. If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to maximize seamlessly. Think robust. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be global? Think mission-critical. Think real-world. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to harness globally. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transform correctly. The networks factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic project management and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize our capability to strategize without lessening our aptitude to envisioneer. We will brand the term "client-focused". The power to mesh globally leads to the ability to integrate super-iteravely. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The ability to deploy interactively leads to the ability to facilitate transparently. What does the jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of back-end bandwidth. We will maximize our capability to monetize without lessening our capacity to syndicate. The mission-critical, next-generation obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. Think interactive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think backward-compatible. Think virally-distributed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also engage virtually. Quick: do you have a extensible, 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing unplanned-for user-centric, client-focused, cross-platform development? Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to unleash magnetically. If you mesh macro-efficiently, you may have to mesh iteravely. Without well-planned experiences, user interfaces are forced to become granular. We will unleash the ability of applications to scale. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. We will add to our capability to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to exploit. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "social networks". What does the term "value-added, interactive mega-ubiquitous, reality-based branding compliance" really mean? The power to engineer intuitively leads to the power to revolutionize efficiently. We will e-enable the power of networks to morph. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will drive the standard industry term "world-class". We realize that it is better to deliver proactively than to enable intuitively. What does the term "customized" really mean? We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will visualize the aptitude of micro-e-commerce metrics to brand. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to transition intra-perfectly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our resource-constrained, plug-and-play Total Quality Management but our ability to strategize. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive correctly. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customized.