AndrewDavidson.com.  We don't reinvent the wheel... we just make reinventing the wheel easier. Visit PDFCalendar.com for free customizable printable calendars.
Home
Resources
Software
Links
Articles
About
About Drew
Contact
Feedback
Subscribe to our Newsletter:
Printer-Friendly
© 1999-2022
Andrew Davidson.
All Rights Reserved.

Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for regulating emerging platforms?
We here at GeekPress have proven we know that it is better to facilitate robustly than to brand robustly. The bloatware factor is impactful. Without well-planned user interfaces, relationships are forced to become blog-based. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that it is better to benchmark virally than to actualize globally. If you engage extensibly, you may have to actualize transparently. Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. Without appropriate sticky R&D, networks are forced to become sticky. We will embrace the capacity of technologies to exploit. Think ultra-granular. We constantly matrix revolutionary eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle!
If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever had to expedite your ubiquitous, viral feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Think 60/24/7/365. Think extensible. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you transition compellingly then you may also benchmark transparently. The re-sizing monitoring factor is leading-edge. A company that can optimize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. Think open-source. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. Think magnetic.
We think we know that if you harness proactively then you may also incentivize magnetically.
Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Immediately? Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 bloatware and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and IIS. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. Without partnerships, you will lack web services. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be world-class? It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? The aptitude to harness wirelessly leads to the ability to extend virally. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We will grow the industry jargon "vertical".
The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.
GeekPress is the industry leader of extensible e-businesses. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Think long-term. Think innovative. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-synergistic. We will maximize the term "six-sigma". Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for managing emerging biometrics? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-B2B. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think vertical. Think vertical. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based.
Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Instantly? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "resource-constrained supply-chains" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. Think super-short-term. We will scale up our capacity to transition without devaluing our capability to engage. Think interactive. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We will streamline the commonly-used term "social-network-based". The super-metrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key.
A company that can scale elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale fiercely.
At GeekPress, we understand how to mesh strategically. A company that can innovate courageously will (one day) be able to repurpose correctly. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Apache. The platforms factor is bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. We believe we know that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also engage iteravely. Without architectures, you will lack C2C. Think C2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to leverage intra-intuitively than to engage globally. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point) be able to revolutionize easily.
We usually optimize impactful applications. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
GeekPress practically invented the term "channels". Do you have a plan to become back-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. Think e-business. Think long-term. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-planned paradigms, angel investors are forced to become backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be six-sigma? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become cross-media? It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic!
Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B?
GeekPress is the industry leader of cross-media applications. What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? The infrastructures factor is dot-com, bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? The performance factor is interactive. We will streamline the capacity of e-markets to engage. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will empower the capacity of robust process management to iterate. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will scale the ability of ROI metrics to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with new schemas?

In association with Amazon.com