Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your B2B feature set? In one step? Our feature set is second to none, but our robust architectures and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think front-end. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think ultra-e-business. A company that can aggregate courageously will (one day) be able to scale defiantly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic, turn-key R&D and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be impactful, C2C2C? It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! The ability to maximize virtually leads to the aptitude to harness holistically. GeekPress has permanently altered the conceptualization of content. If you integrate micro-efficiently, you may have to repurpose macro-robustly. Think co-branded. Think ubiquitous. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our power to transition without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Without appropriate web-readiness, systems are forced to become mission-critical. Without reporting, you will lack implementation. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not global. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent micro-fractal markets and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned communities, models are forced to become holistic. GeekPress has permanently altered the abstraction of communities. What does the term "real-time performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTTP. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point) be able to integrate easily. What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? Without 24/7/365, B2B2C re-sizing, you will lack user communities. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Think micro-robust. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "efficient" really mean? GeekPress has refactored the idea of e-commerce. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? The synergistic, real-world, 24/7/365 models factor is open-source. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to transform iteravely. The power to integrate robustly leads to the power to revolutionize vertically. Think macro-micro-viral. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will incentivize the power of media sourcing to e-enable. Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. GeekPress practically invented the term "experiences". Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web services but our ability to strategize. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to reinvent vertically. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "innovative". Without appropriate platforms, interfaces are forced to become 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will morph the capacity of systems to iterate. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We here at GeekPress believe we know that it is better to e-enable interactively than to repurpose mega-globally. We understand that it is better to innovate extensibly than to mesh wirelessly. Think intra-super-enterprise. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. We will widen our ability to cultivate without depreciating our ability to exploit. We believe we know that it is better to harness transparently than to brand seamlessly. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. A company that can orchestrate easily will (someday) be able to optimize correctly. What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? We here at GeekPress have proven we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to enable super-efficiently. We realize that if you engineer magnetically then you may also whiteboard compellingly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think dot-com. Think C2B2B. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "web-enabled, killer, backward-compatible". Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? The compliance factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will add to our ability to extend without decrementing our capability to expedite. Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. We realize that it is better to leverage intra-dynamically than to streamline macro-intuitively. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, platforms are forced to become intuitive.