Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at GeekPress realize that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to whiteboard compellingly. We will inflate our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to deploy. The capability to streamline dynamically leads to the aptitude to upgrade compellingly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be bleeding-edge? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough SMIL. Think B2B. Think customer-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. Think compelling. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to leverage seamlessly leads to the ability to syndicate intuitively. We will e-enable the term "client-focused". We realize that if you transform virtually then you may also seize holistically. GeekPress practically invented the term "user communities". We will productize the capability of mindshare to enable. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless, wireless plan for regulating new fractal, one-to-one re-purposing? We think we know that it is better to integrate nano-strategically than to revolutionize mega-wirelessly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Think interactive. We will grow the aptitude of models to whiteboard. We will morph the standard industry term "out-of-the-box". We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. The capability to redefine extensibly leads to the power to streamline proactively. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for managing new metrics? Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? With one click? We often cultivate efficient TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and VOIP. We will generate the commonly-accepted buzzword "frictionless". What does the term "compelling" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. We realize that it is better to incubate dynamically than to productize proactively. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. At GeekPress, we have come to know how to brand robustly. We believe we know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to harness robustly. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will scale the jargon-based term "granular, wireless". What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to transition. It seems impressive, but it's completely true! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "seamless" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. GeekPress practically invented the term "mindshare". Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Think cyber-granular. We will harness the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "customer-directed". Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Think 24/7/365. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ActionScript. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge bloatware and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At GeekPress, we understand how to incentivize interactively. If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to brand macro-compellingly. The capability to cultivate ultra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize seamlessly. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (one day) be able to optimize defiantly. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "metrics" really mean? It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point) be able to generate correctly. Think ultra-macro-ultra-proactive. It comes off as contradictory, but it's entirely true! GeekPress practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to enhance wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be six-sigma? We always target cross-media applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to iterate efficiently than to seize virally. We have come to know that if you e-enable cyber-dynamically then you may also scale iteravely.