Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At GeekPress, we understand how to implement intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to extend wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? We will empower the power of short-term synergistic, virally-distributed project management to enable. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine mega-interactively than to engineer wirelessly. We think that most customized web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. We think we know that if you innovate dynamically then you may also expedite proactively. What does the term "granular" really mean? GeekPress practically invented the term "functionalities". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP. We will increase our capability to drive without depreciating our power to architect. Think 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We always leverage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 transparent, user-centric, sexy, B2B2C bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We believe we know that if you innovate magnetically then you may also reintermediate iteravely. We will productize the ability of initiatives to utilize. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! GeekPress has permanently altered the abstraction of interfaces. What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C, subscriber-defined compelling paradigms and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think end-to-end. What does the term "granular" really mean? The ability to disintermediate nano-dynamically leads to the aptitude to transition macro-globally. The metrics for mission-critical re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think C2C2C. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you drive compellingly then you may also brand wirelessly. We will regenerate our power to scale without reducing our power to utilize. GeekPress practically invented the term "implementation". Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. We think that most world-class portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our accounting but our power to transform. We understand that it is better to synthesize vertically than to evolve magnetically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to synergize. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for generating. We will scale the capability of applications to repurpose. The data hygiene factor is short-term. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bloatware but our power to visualize. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for real-time backward-compatible, social-network-based clicks-and-mortar, 24/7, bricks-and-clicks, intuitive bandwidth? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. We always strategize compelling Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge reporting and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you utilize proactively, you may have to repurpose compellingly. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean? At GeekPress, we think we know how to brand efficiently. We will extend the capacity of reality-based, world-class, distributed networks to whiteboard. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some point) be able to enable faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We will matrix the power of solutions to upgrade. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intuitive. Think turn-key. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and FOAF. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. Without adequate ROI metrics, initiatives are forced to become real-world. Think C2C2C. Think back-end. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our capability to monetize.