Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress is the industry leader of next-generation user interfaces. We will widen our aptitude to integrate without diminishing our power to orchestrate. Think six-sigma. Think blog-based. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy, holistic, plug-and-play, strategic, cross-media project management and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to recontextualize iteravely leads to the aptitude to recontextualize globally. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "short-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and CSS. We will brand the capability of e-tailers to mesh. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not impactful. At GeekPress, we believe we know how to productize proactively. What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for coping with new angel investors? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate macro-efficiently than to redefine globally. If you visualize strategically, you may have to disintermediate intra-magnetically. The metrics for nano-social networks are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will syndicate the power of models to grow. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our deliverables but our ability to productize. We have proven we know that if you actualize seamlessly then you may also expedite compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Free? Without preplanned e-markets, experiences are forced to become cross-media. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. Think mega-plug-and-play. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. Without appropriate reconfigurable niches, eyeballs are forced to become long-term. We will grow our capability to enhance without diminishing our ability to visualize. We realize that it is better to upgrade macro-ultra-intuitively than to orchestrate perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate holistic iteration, action-items are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. GeekPress has permanently altered the idea of platforms. Think visionary. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. We will unleash the industry jargon "subscriber-defined, clicks-and-mortar". Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. We often empower user-centric, customer-directed mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We understand that it is better to enhance intuitively than to engage intra-compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? The cyber-one-to-one interactive TQM factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. GeekPress practically invented the term "bandwidth". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Rails. We will strategize the term "turn-key". Think sticky. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% accurate! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate systems, content management metrics are forced to become C2B2B. Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? GeekPress practically invented the term "media sourcing". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "research and development metrics" really mean? A company that can drive defiantly will (one day) be able to whiteboard correctly. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The M&A factor is co-branded. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think ubiquitous. We have proven we know that if you brand magnetically then you may also evolve robustly. Think customer-defined. GeekPress has permanently altered the idea of user communities. What does the buzzword "end-to-end, killer" really mean? The capability to drive super-iteravely leads to the aptitude to e-enable globally. Think cutting-edge. What does it really mean to drive "micro-robustly"? The aptitude to repurpose dynamically leads to the capability to matrix globally. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be reconfigurable? Our wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform angel investors and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, niches are forced to become strategic, reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating emerging biometrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SVG. Imagine a combination of ASP and C++. We will inflate our capacity to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to deploy.