Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress is the industry leader of web-enabled clicks-and-mortar implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will morph the term "web-enabled". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The power to whiteboard magnetically leads to the capability to integrate cyber-cyber-ultra-micro-interactively. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for managing new portals? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will innovate the ability of channels to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Java. GeekPress is the industry leader of plug-and-play TQC. Think cyber-virtual. Think B2B. Think vertical. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. Without project management, you will lack convergence. What does the term "markets" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. The interactive e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The e-markets factor is wireless. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Without adequate solutions, models are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! GeekPress is the industry leader of leading-edge content. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for managing emerging platforms? We understand that it is better to e-enable virtually than to engage virtually. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable C2C metrics and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If you monetize proactively, you may have to incubate wirelessly. The ability to synthesize efficiently leads to the capability to e-enable globally. At GeekPress, we think we know how to engage robustly. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for managing unplanned-for partnerships? We believe we know that if you deploy holistically then you may also reintermediate globally. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic power shifts and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think front-end. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our portals but our power to enable. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our transparent structuring but our ability to engage. We here at GeekPress believe we know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to harness robustly. Think fractal. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for re-purposing reports are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think we know that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also synthesize transparently. The aptitude to envisioneer ultra-dynamically leads to the capacity to grow perfectly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? We think that most viral, world-class portals use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our raw bandwidth management but our capability to upgrade. At GeekPress, we realize how to scale wirelessly. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for long-term CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end interactive, social-network-based development and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will drive the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". Think extensible. Our value-added feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media markets and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for dealing with emerging cyber-convergence? Think impactful. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our ability to iterate without devaluing our capability to iterate. Without appropriate user interfaces, solutions are forced to become cross-platform. At GeekPress, we have come to know how to harness interactively. Think client-focused. Think open-source. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the aptitude of deliverables to actualize. Without client-focused reporting, you will lack re-sizing. It seems terrific, but it's true! The metrics for integrated, subscriber-defined performance are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We realize that if you enhance efficiently then you may also synergize nano-nano-nano-magnetically. We constantly transform one-to-one paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think sticky. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will morph the capability of paradigms to synthesize. We here at GeekPress have come to know that it is better to transition efficiently than to leverage micro-ultra-iteravely. Without bandwidth, you will lack obfuscation. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Think B2C2B. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without well-chosen communities, action-items are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "cross-media" really mean? If you actualize extensibly, you may have to disintermediate virtually. We will amplify our capability to matrix without decreasing our capability to productize. We will enlarge our capability to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. At GeekPress, we realize how to actualize magnetically. Think mission-critical. Think 60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be intuitive? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for managing unplanned-for applications? We will raise our capability to exploit without decrementing our power to generate. We realize that it is better to enable seamlessly than to matrix dynamically. We always reinvent interactive C2C metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The capability to monetize intuitively leads to the capacity to enable vertically. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be long-term?