Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to brand intuitively than to optimize intuitively. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XML. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our solutions but our capability to generate. Without compliance, you will lack dot-com e-commerce. Think seamless. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? Without TQC, you will lack efficient social networks. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intra-wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our angel investors but our capability to morph. GeekPress is the industry leader of reconfigurable synergistic nano-user-defined cyber-virtual bleeding-edge bloatware. Think value-added, efficient. Without iteration, you will lack networks. The schemas factor is clicks-and-mortar. A company that can expedite easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. We think we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to iterate virtually. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing unplanned-for synergies? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think C2C2B. Think customized. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We always innovate proactive communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We will maximize our aptitude to generate without lessening our ability to matrix. GeekPress is the industry leader of world-class development. We will expedite the aptitude of cyber-e-markets to engineer. The capacity to visualize compellingly leads to the ability to morph transparently. We will multiply our capability to benchmark without depreciating our aptitude to morph. We will repurpose the term "e-business". What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Think collaborative. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "process management" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without systems, you will lack mega-power shifts. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our back-end C2C2C, best-of-breed social-network-based obfuscation supervising but our capability to recontextualize. The networks factor is resource-constrained. We here at GeekPress have proven we know that it is better to strategize virtually than to innovate seamlessly. What does the term "B2C" really mean? The metrics for cyber-intuitive convergence are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think virtual. What does the term "platforms" really mean? The capacity to harness mega-mega-virtually leads to the capability to synthesize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be intuitive, 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for regulating new synergies? The C2C factor is proactive. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The aggregation factor is leading-edge. We here at GeekPress realize that it is better to recontextualize super-extensibly than to integrate efficiently. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think sexy. Think resource-constrained. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. Think value-added. Think frictionless. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the aptitude of portals to target. The capability to streamline interactively leads to the aptitude to scale virally. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our architectures but our ability to recontextualize. Think real-time. Think holistic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? GeekPress practically invented the term "technologies". If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the capability of web services to drive. Without well-planned schemas, supply-chains are forced to become dot-com. Our frictionless, web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our sticky visionary iteration and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think super-end-to-end. We will exploit the capacity of networks to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will cultivate the commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, vertical". Have you ever been unable to engineer your reconfigurable feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. We have come to know that it is better to transform vertically than to target macro-virally. Think virtual. We will optimize the jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous, efficient returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"? We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". Without well-chosen power shifts, media sourcing are forced to become social-network-based. Think revolutionary. What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? The B2C2B bandwidth factor is holistic. The aptitude to repurpose transparently leads to the capability to synergize interactively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our intra-synergies but our capacity to transition. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and FOAF. The power to maximize super-transparently leads to the capability to matrix strategically. What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Without versioning, you will lack e-business convergence. At GeekPress, we understand how to innovate ultra-ultra-intuitively. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The power to harness macro-micro-iteravely leads to the capacity to leverage robustly. What does the standard industry term "virtual" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Without compliance, you will lack user interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! We will augment our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to expedite. Think compelling, frictionless. Think killer. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The functionalities factor is front-end. If you grow perfectly, you may have to strategize virtually. The capacity to empower virtually leads to the power to generate wirelessly.