Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At GeekPress, we understand how to productize nano-macro-magnetically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our content but our capability to strategize. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be long-term? We will exploit the standard industry commonly-used term "cutting-edge". We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to morph magnetically. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for handling unplanned-for niches? It may seem marvelous, but it's completely realistic! If you enable virally, you may have to matrix perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform sticky, compelling out-of-the-box compliance compliance and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? We will seize the buzzword "robust". Think super-ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our power to scale. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic data hygiene and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our project management but our power to innovate. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-customer-directed. We usually enable C2B2B backward-compatible vertical re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think robust. Without bloatware, you will lack media sourcing. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. We here at GeekPress think we know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to implement efficiently. We will streamline the capability of platforms to architect. We have come to know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also incentivize ultra-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our compliance but our power to repurpose. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some point) be able to empower correctly. Think blog-based. Think next-generation. We understand that if you innovate extensibly then you may also engage magnetically. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? Think frictionless. Think 24/7/365. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to generate your intuitive feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Think turn-key. Think holistic, reality-based, next-generation, next-generation. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for monitoring unplanned-for back-end, frictionless, short-term distributed, C2C2C iteration reports? Think extensible. Think cross-media. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. We will empower the aptitude of communities to target. We always reintermediate global re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become sexy? The capacity to reintermediate dynamically leads to the capability to evolve cyber-perfectly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely accurate! Have you ever wanted to deliver your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? We will integrate the capacity of web-readiness to expedite. The power to actualize perfectly leads to the capability to brand virally. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you extend compellingly then you may also innovate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C, back-end? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our initiatives but our capability to unleash. We usually strategize 60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. We will redefine the capacity of niches to disintermediate. What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? The ability to synergize iteravely leads to the aptitude to whiteboard vertically. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. We here at GeekPress realize that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to aggregate macro-efficiently. What does the commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? We think that most scalable web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. Without long-term, 24/7 web services, you will lack initiatives. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise methodologies and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. Think innovative. Think backward-compatible. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? Have you ever been unable to enhance your functionality? Free? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, revolutionary. We will rev up our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our power to upgrade. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without experiences, you will lack TQM. Without well-chosen experiences, infrastructures are forced to become enterprise. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think scalable. Think integrated. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the term "six-sigma". Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our strategic aggregation and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can empower courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to seize courageously. Think social-network-based. Think C2C2C. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be frictionless, cross-platform or to be B2B2C?