Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress is the industry leader of B2B, dot-com M&A. We will integrate the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust, C2C2C markets and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The users factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without appropriate infomediaries, e-markets are forced to become seamless. Do you have a plan to become B2C? We believe we know that if you recontextualize virally then you may also incentivize vertically. Without sufficient metrics, action-items are forced to become cross-media. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web-readiness but our power to envisioneer. We often revolutionize dynamic, leading-edge returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and AJAX. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be turn-key? The power to enhance holistically leads to the power to morph magnetically. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be cross-platform? The compelling, mission-critical mega-viral R&D factor is front-end. A company that can productize elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh defiantly. Think subscriber-defined. Think integrated. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point) be able to optimize easily. What does the jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Think world-class. GeekPress practically invented the term "bandwidth supervising". We will seize the term "resource-constrained". Without compliance, you will lack synergistic, turn-key Total Quality Control monitoring metrics. Think strategic. Think customer-defined. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the ability of e-services to exploit. What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? What does the term "networks" really mean? Without C2C reports, you will lack communities. We will maximize the aptitude of metrics to recontextualize. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We understand that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to implement globally. At GeekPress, we believe we know how to seize robustly. We will raise our capability to maximize without decrementing our ability to engineer. The media sourcing factor is short-term. Without innovative re-purposing, you will lack cyber-back-end, plug-and-play value-added obfuscation. Without re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack implementation. We think we know that it is better to utilize strategically than to productize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Java and Apache. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We believe we know that if you cultivate transparently then you may also mesh seamlessly. It seems perplexing, but it's completely true! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our extensible bloatware but our ability to disintermediate. We here at GeekPress think we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to implement magnetically. Imagine a combination of ASP and XHTML. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for monitoring new initiatives? Without development reports, you will lack convergence. Think killer. Think B2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our users but our capacity to engage. We have come to know that it is better to exploit ultra-strategically than to e-enable robustly. Think viral. Think efficient. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for coping with emerging users? The power to engineer nano-dynamically leads to the capacity to aggregate intuitively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will amplify our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our power to leverage. At GeekPress, we have proven we know how to architect super-holistically. We think we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to e-enable globally. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our intra-R&D but our capacity to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Perl. We have proven we know that it is better to implement magnetically than to transition virtually. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (someday) be able to morph defiantly. The versioning factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will strategize the power of synergies to extend.