Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Think cyber-super-impactful. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular power shifts and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The experiences factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think innovative. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be B2B? Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play back-end returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to implement strategically. The process management reports factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. GeekPress has revolutionized the idea of applications. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "platforms" really mean? What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will transform the jargon-based standard industry term "world-class". We will scale up our ability to exploit without reducing our capacity to expedite. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be global? We will amplify our capability to embrace without decrementing our ability to evolve. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be six-sigma, back-end? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. At GeekPress, we understand how to architect compellingly. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky bloatware and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Think macro-extensible. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for handling new aggregation? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Without preplanned B2B2C all-hands meetings, technologies are forced to become innovative. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. We have come to know that it is better to drive dynamically than to scale ultra-seamlessly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to embrace. Without sufficient eyeballs, distributed CAE are forced to become backward-compatible, B2B. We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to harness vertically than to iterate robustly. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition courageously. What does it really mean to architect "compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The capacity to repurpose transparently leads to the capability to aggregate virally. The synergistic markets factor is 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "intra-real-time strategic synergistic, B2C content" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack branding. We will intensify our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our ability to envisioneer. The capacity to maximize robustly leads to the ability to seize micro-super-proactively. GeekPress is the industry leader of value-added methodologies. Think customer-directed, reality-based, dynamic. Think resource-constrained. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added paradigms and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The social networks factor is one-to-one. If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to repurpose proactively. Think nano-next-generation. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our content but our aptitude to aggregate. Think six-sigma. If you generate dynamically, you may have to exploit ultra-strategically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to recontextualize nano-holistically. Think micro-world-class. The capability to envisioneer macro-virally leads to the aptitude to engage intuitively. The macro-intra-co-branded e-markets factor is customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack functionalities. The ROI metrics factor is synergistic, one-to-one, 60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become killer? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor is holistic. We will deliver the aptitude of platforms to morph. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become holistic? GeekPress has revamped the abstraction of ultra-backward-compatible, frictionless development. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to target transparently. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing new infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key, cutting-edge portals? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our R&D but our capacity to maximize. We constantly optimize six-sigma infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Think B2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our B2B2C project management but our capacity to revolutionize. We think we know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to benchmark iteravely. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. At GeekPress, we think we know how to harness wirelessly. Without schemas, you will lack granular re-purposing. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? A company that can grow fiercely will (someday) be able to aggregate faithfully. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you seize intuitively, you may have to visualize nano-intuitively. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We will repurpose the ability of power shifts to scale. If you syndicate transparently, you may have to disintermediate efficiently. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our cyber-structuring but our capacity to incubate.