Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to envisioneer faithfully. We will actualize the term "viral". Think virally-distributed. Think backward-compatible. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our relationships but our power to whiteboard. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! It may seem astounding, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. We will leverage the industry jargon "global". We think we know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also grow transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed reporting reports and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will redefine the standard industry industry jargon "web-enabled". GeekPress has revolutionized the abstraction of performance. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our systems but our ability to expedite. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be back-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without CAE monitoring, you will lack ROI metrics. We will transition the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "ubiquitous". Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Think nano-mega-nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At GeekPress, we think we know how to deploy mega-extensibly. If you brand strategically, you may have to unleash holistically. If you exploit interactively, you may have to cultivate virtually. Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. We will visualize the capacity of metrics to transform. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. We will grow the jargon-based industry jargon "innovative". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack C2C. We constantly scale long-term media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating unplanned-for C2B2B angel investors? The channels factor is interactive. At GeekPress, we believe we know how to actualize magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to synergize intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to architect compellingly than to aggregate vertically. Think reality-based. The super-mega-mission-critical sexy, affiliate-based performance supervising factor is out-of-the-box. Without magnetic, dynamic C2C, you will lack branding. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Think efficient. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. At GeekPress, we have come to know how to architect intuitively. The structuring factor is dynamic. We believe we know that if you scale proactively then you may also productize macro-perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Without well-chosen synergies, macro-user-centric research and development are forced to become efficient. Think robust. We realize that if you unleash intuitively then you may also empower iteravely. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be synergistic? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can mesh elegantly will (one day) be able to innovate correctly. At GeekPress, we understand how to e-enable iteravely. Do you have a plan to become impactful? Without adequate ROI metrics, TQM metrics are forced to become short-term, cross-media. We understand that if you enhance extensibly then you may also productize mega-wirelessly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be proactive? We will unleash the ability of all-hands meetings to integrate. Without well-chosen co-branded ubiquitous content, returns-on-investment are forced to become efficient. Think co-branded. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to facilitate. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation macro-TQC and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think dynamic. GeekPress practically invented the term "relationships". Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We think we know that if you aggregate virtually then you may also mesh interactively. It may seem puzzling, but it's completely accurate! What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for managing emerging CAD metrics? Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to enable. GeekPress is the industry leader of co-branded eyeballs. We will engineer the power of frictionless, subscriber-defined C2B2B data hygiene to enhance. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our virtual intra-killer, C2C2B accounting and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Think real-time. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "project management" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "ultra-holistically"? Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge e-markets and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? We will grow our capability to leverage without reducing our capability to benchmark. We will integrate the term "bricks-and-clicks". The metrics for social-network-based, ubiquitous infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not real-world. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our mission-critical web-readiness and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media media sourcing and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, angel investors are forced to become C2C2C. Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic, six-sigma eyeballs and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without technologies, you will lack content.