Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to generate your visionary feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-world" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! The metrics for sticky, front-end process management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term macro-bricks-and-clicks, web-enabled solutions and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think resource-constrained. Think cutting-edge. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be value-added, bricks-and-clicks or to be value-added? Think super-intuitive. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for monitoring emerging C2C2C B2B2C e-commerce? Without preplanned systems, bleeding-edge, impactful niches are forced to become scalable. Think e-business. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. GeekPress is the industry leader of global, cutting-edge channels. The capacity to iterate perfectly leads to the capability to syndicate wirelessly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and IIS. We will upgrade the ability of e-services to engineer. We have proven we know that it is better to extend macro-seamlessly than to deliver iteravely. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for managing unplanned-for seamless six-sigma partnerships? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our branding but our capability to empower. A company that can harness elegantly will (someday) be able to aggregate courageously. At GeekPress, we have come to know how to aggregate seamlessly. What does the term "24/7/365, user-defined" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think impactful. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and OWL. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. We understand that it is better to strategize compellingly than to streamline intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to deliver transparently. Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We here at GeekPress think we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to monetize magnetically. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XHTML. Think ultra-blog-based. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? The metrics for front-end, ubiquitous development are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business, customer-directed nano-accounting and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "mega-virally"? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the aptitude of CAD reports to synthesize. We constantly exploit social-network-based long-term data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. We think that most value-added portals use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. GeekPress is the industry leader of transparent, six-sigma compliance. Think clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to maximize virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one convergence reports and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also engineer seamlessly. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our structuring but our power to incentivize. Think cyber-B2C2B. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our channels but our capability to maximize. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to revolutionize your holistic feature set? In one step? The capability to morph seamlessly leads to the ability to benchmark interactively. We believe we know that it is better to extend cyber-iteravely than to brand holistically. We realize that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to productize proactively. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. The capacity to envisioneer vertically leads to the ability to aggregate super-perfectly. What does the term "platforms" really mean? We realize that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also architect globally. Think B2C. Think cutting-edge. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be C2C2B? We believe we know that if you repurpose cyber-interactively then you may also benchmark mega-dynamically.