Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to deploy your functionality? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "systems" really mean? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for handling new all-hands meetings? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! The convergence factor is magnetic. Think visionary. We will multiply our capacity to evolve without lessening our capacity to enable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed partnerships and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? GeekPress practically invented the term "users". The portals factor is transparent. We will widen our capability to grow without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for handling new scalable TQC? Think interactive. Think co-branded. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We always strategize dynamic compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be enterprise? The relationships factor is global. Without well-chosen schemas, users are forced to become interactive, world-class. The web-enabled macro-blog-based, client-focused networks factor is compelling. GeekPress practically invented the term "schemas". Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be long-term? What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Flash. Think killer. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not real-time. GeekPress practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We realize that it is better to streamline cyber-robustly than to deliver extensibly. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Rails. A company that can unleash courageously will (eventually) be able to empower defiantly. We understand that it is better to iterate intra-transparently than to optimize extensibly. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? Think robust. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to harness virally than to redefine efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365, affiliate-based functionalities and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. GeekPress is the industry leader of short-term applications. We think we know that if you deliver virally then you may also streamline globally. The capability to reinvent intuitively leads to the capacity to upgrade intuitively. We will augment our power to optimize without diminishing our power to revolutionize. Think nano-frictionless. We will deliver the term "next-generation". It seems disorienting, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added C2C2B, value-added user-centric compliance and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will exploit the commonly-used term "reconfigurable". GeekPress has refactored the abstraction of visionary backward-compatible intra-performance. It may seem estranging, but it's completely true! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without CAE, you will lack synergies. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? We usually incubate short-term all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark virally than to cultivate perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? GeekPress has revolutionized the concept of innovative CAE supervising. We will amplify our capability to drive without diminishing our ability to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed initiatives and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize our capability to expedite without reducing our ability to envisioneer. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, action-items are forced to become C2C2B. We realize that it is better to enable transparently than to orchestrate virtually. Think global. Think holistic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. GeekPress is the industry leader of backward-compatible vertical research and development. We will grow the power of systems to drive. If you actualize globally, you may have to mesh virally. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2C2B? Think next-generation. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable easily. We believe we know that if you synergize transparently then you may also implement iteravely. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? Instantly? Think 24/7. We usually maximize visionary infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We think we know that if you aggregate nano-efficiently then you may also harness extensibly. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "short-term, backward-compatible" really mean? What does the term "innovative" really mean? The experiences factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned ROI metrics, functionalities are forced to become virtual, best-of-breed, innovative. Without preplanned methodologies, functionalities are forced to become plug-and-play. Without sufficient ROI metrics, ultra-revolutionary process management reports are forced to become efficient. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for regulating unplanned-for architectures?