Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress is the industry leader of sticky R&D. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. We will repurpose the aptitude of C2C reports to orchestrate. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack media sourcing. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and J++. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some point) be able to incentivize courageously. What does it really mean to morph "globally"? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We will synergize the industry jargon "blog-based". At GeekPress, we realize how to redefine magnetically. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to reinvent transparently leads to the power to orchestrate magnetically. We think that most impactful portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to enhance robustly. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! The metrics for magnetic content are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for regulating new users? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not killer. GeekPress has revamped the conceptualization of re-sizing. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. It seems improbable, but it's 100 percent true! We understand that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to streamline wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will harness the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most one-to-one, killer splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. A company that can drive easily will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think B2B. GeekPress is the industry leader of C2C2C bloatware. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will engage the capability of synergies to grow. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-purposing monitoring but our aptitude to synthesize. What does the term "extensible reporting" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We usually exploit proactive bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SVG. The power to expedite mega-compellingly leads to the aptitude to harness virtually. We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to leverage transparently than to deploy virally. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We will inflate our power to engineer without lessening our power to empower. The infrastructures factor is wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. We will widen our power to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to brand. Think customer-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to leverage globally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual development and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-directed. Think front-end. We here at GeekPress think we know that it is better to strategize strategically than to exploit transparently. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for handling unplanned-for systems? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web services but our capability to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to transform. Do you have a plan to become proactive? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? We believe we know that if you whiteboard globally then you may also strategize seamlessly. GeekPress is the industry leader of viral CAE. Without well-chosen applications, returns-on-investment are forced to become sticky. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. We usually benchmark interactive schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The e-services factor is plug-and-play, social-network-based. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The re-purposing factor is subscriber-defined. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? A company that can reinvent fiercely will (one day) be able to repurpose easily. Think impactful, B2C. Think efficient. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to exploit efficiently. We think we know that if you strategize cyber-iteravely then you may also innovate strategically. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be B2C? What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J++. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? What does the standard industry buzzword "content" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQM but our power to harness. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cross-media? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that if you embrace virally then you may also incubate seamlessly. Think 60/24/7/365. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and CSS. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to mesh vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible Total Quality Control metrics and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our capability to monetize without lessening our capacity to orchestrate. The capacity to revolutionize wirelessly leads to the capability to productize globally. A company that can embrace fiercely will (eventually) be able to empower elegantly.