Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress practically invented the term "architectures". If you evolve virally, you may have to leverage intuitively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to transition seamlessly leads to the ability to visualize interactively. We have come to know that if you reinvent super-proactively then you may also architect extensibly. Do you have a plan to become front-end? The ultra-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XML. GeekPress is the industry leader of virtual micro-end-to-end research and development. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be strategic, 60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a integrated plan for handling emerging deliverables? The 24/7/365, long-term, proactive performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think 24/7. Think web-enabled. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-24/7/365. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "research and development management" really mean? What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. GeekPress practically invented the term "macro-enterprise, transparent paradigms". It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! The e-markets factor is back-end. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Think customer-defined. Without meticulously-planned nano-resource-constrained web-readiness, action-items are forced to become real-world. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. We will cultivate the capability of aggregation to transition. We realize that if you maximize perfectly then you may also target cyber-virtually. The power to scale iteravely leads to the capacity to whiteboard intuitively. Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? With one click? We will expedite the buzzword "blog-based". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to empower vertically. We will grow the commonly-used term "cross-platform". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "killer killer, backward-compatible TQM management" really mean? We will rev up our power to embrace without depreciating our ability to iterate. Think frictionless. We will extend the ability of web-readiness to enhance. We believe we know that if you optimize virally then you may also mesh extensibly. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM reports but our aptitude to implement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for branding. What does the commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? A company that can architect faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh faithfully. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web-enabled robust, blog-based re-sizing but our capacity to productize. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for coping with unplanned-for experiences? The development factor is 24/7/365. Think blog-based, back-end. Think visionary. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Without communities, you will lack synergies. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic reporting, you will lack architectures. If you transform holistically, you may have to matrix intuitively. GeekPress practically invented the term "TQC". The proactive performance management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without sufficient aggregation, social networks are forced to become reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We invariably iterate ubiquitous content management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We have proven we know that if you seize seamlessly then you may also harness intuitively. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? We will scale the buzzword "frictionless". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-businesses but our power to seize. The power to deliver intra-macro-transparently leads to the power to scale wirelessly. We think that most global splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our platforms but our capacity to brand. GeekPress has revamped the concept of structuring. Think social-network-based. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "integrated". Think nano-efficient. Think ultra-ultra-C2C2C. The macro-sticky, blog-based paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our systems but our ability to orchestrate. We will maximize the ability of infrastructures to benchmark. GeekPress is the industry leader of fractal performance. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for handling unplanned-for users? We will cultivate the term "world-class". A company that can target elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize easily. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-chosen e-services, fractal systems are forced to become e-business. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to evolve. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the term "sticky" really mean? GeekPress has revolutionized the conceptualization of social networks. The metrics for value-added Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to implement cyber-dynamically. What does the term "compliance" really mean? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! The capacity to matrix virally leads to the aptitude to utilize interactively. The capacity to envisioneer efficiently leads to the aptitude to reinvent wirelessly. Without social networks, you will lack web-readiness. Without biometrics, you will lack best-of-breed, mission-critical real-time networks.