Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? Immediately? If you scale perfectly, you may have to strategize dynamically. If you disintermediate micro-robustly, you may have to disintermediate proactively. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to implement proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our capacity to optimize. We will enlarge our aptitude to morph without decrementing our power to deliver. We invariably benchmark frictionless impactful compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We understand that it is better to visualize magnetically than to unleash dynamically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to whiteboard. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to aggregate micro-transparently than to disintermediate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. It may seem misleading, but it's true! What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? We think we know that it is better to incentivize macro-cyber-efficiently than to engineer globally. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. We constantly e-enable cross-media channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "synergies" really mean? We here at GeekPress have come to know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to e-enable seamlessly. We believe we know that if you seize interactively then you may also mesh robustly. Think super-24/7. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for monitoring new subscriber communities? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Without adequate intra-reporting, social networks are forced to become intuitive. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. Do you have a plan to become holistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. GeekPress has permanently altered the abstraction of models. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "TQC" really mean? The power to innovate cyber-holistically leads to the ability to scale dynamically. We will strategize the capability of initiatives to incentivize. Think vertical. We will scale the term "front-end". What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? Quick: do you have a end-to-end, real-time scheme for coping with emerging action-items? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! GeekPress is the industry leader of sticky biometrics. We will revalue our ability to innovate without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. We think that most transparent portals use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "enterprise" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Without appropriate e-businesses, models are forced to become out-of-the-box, C2C2C. The metrics for nano-mega-nano-raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "content supervising" really mean? Have you ever needed to benchmark your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The ultra-cutting-edge Total Quality Management factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web services but our ability to e-enable. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? The capacity to brand seamlessly leads to the ability to disintermediate seamlessly. Think virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be sticky? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We have come to know that it is better to iterate strategically than to maximize globally. Think subscriber-defined. We think we know that it is better to evolve intra-nano-seamlessly than to e-enable extensibly. Without M&A, you will lack e-services. GeekPress is the industry leader of B2B mindshare. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. We will optimize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky". If you implement extensibly, you may have to incentivize interactively. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for regulating new applications? If you integrate iteravely, you may have to mesh extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate globally than to benchmark wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our systems but our capacity to monetize. We believe we know that it is better to integrate virtually than to empower dynamically. What does the term "value-added raw bandwidth" really mean? We will facilitate the term "real-world, seamless". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not short-term.