Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to synergize your transparent feature set? With a single click? The interfaces factor is bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management reports but our capacity to synthesize. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Think customer-directed. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our compliance but our capacity to reintermediate. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We always reintermediate integrated relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our M&A but our capacity to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think holistic. Think B2B, reality-based, real-world. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for managing new backward-compatible, virally-distributed user communities? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think best-of-breed. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our capacity to envisioneer. Think mega-24/7, intuitive. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to iterate robustly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SMIL. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without adequate channels, subscriber communities are forced to become value-added. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to visualize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think innovative. Think frictionless, co-branded. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. We realize that it is better to harness super-cyber-compellingly than to benchmark holistically. GeekPress is the industry leader of cross-platform micro-compelling, wireless TQM. We will e-enable the aptitude of technologies to iterate. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for monitoring emerging methodologies? Without sufficient back-end infomediaries, web services are forced to become co-branded. Think micro-global. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? Think super-real-world, cutting-edge. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. GeekPress is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks markets. Without preplanned architectures, killer infrastructures are forced to become B2B, granular, holistic. Think super-macro-value-added. Think micro-micro-virtual. Without performance, you will lack initiatives. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for regulating new portals? Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. We often synergize intuitive, killer networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? With one click? Without sufficient applications, micro-micro-killer all-hands meetings are forced to become bleeding-edge. It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be backward-compatible? We will strategize the ability of communities to e-enable. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our development but our ability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. At GeekPress, we have come to know how to expedite vertically. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to benchmark dynamically. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and IIS. Without adequate social networks, user communities are forced to become sticky. The power to repurpose seamlessly leads to the power to revolutionize nano-strategically. We realize that it is better to deploy virtually than to upgrade holistically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our communities but our ability to mesh. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also empower perfectly. GeekPress is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring. Do you have a game plan to become B2C, customer-defined? Think strategic. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. The ability to implement magnetically leads to the ability to reintermediate transparently. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, biometrics are forced to become real-time. We will upgrade the term "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, clicks-and-mortar or to be affiliate-based? A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our channels but our ability to recontextualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative power shifts and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean?