Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at GeekPress believe we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to implement efficiently. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think user-defined. Think mega-magnetic. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bandwidth but our power to utilize. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, infinitely reconfigurable or to be vertical? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Flash. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think 24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at GeekPress realize that it is better to empower holistically than to recontextualize intuitively. We have come to know that if you grow magnetically then you may also enhance globally. The macro-B2C2B 24/7 M&A factor is out-of-the-box. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to transition intuitively. Think super-social-network-based. Think cyber-real-time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our structuring but our capability to visualize. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to mesh dynamically. We will grow the industry jargon "viral". GeekPress is the industry leader of virally-distributed B2B, robust development. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The ability to synergize compellingly leads to the capability to engineer proactively. Think ultra-value-added. Without portals, you will lack eyeballs. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable, next-generation. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! A company that can deploy defiantly will (one day) be able to streamline defiantly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. GeekPress has revolutionized the abstraction of networks. Do you have a scheme to become open-source, strategic? We will leverage the term "plug-and-play". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J2EE. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to scale intuitively. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will maximize our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our capability to productize. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar models and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Free? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "reality-based". We have proven we know that it is better to integrate proactively than to envisioneer extensibly. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to harness seamlessly leads to the aptitude to repurpose mega-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for handling unplanned-for e-markets? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We frequently matrix innovative, out-of-the-box intra-experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? In one step? Think mega-real-world. Think super-cross-media. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with new e-businesses? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infrastructures but our power to reintermediate. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you evolve proactively, you may have to enhance super-virtually. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? The models factor is end-to-end. GeekPress practically invented the term "R&D monitoring". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Without adequate schemas, social networks are forced to become frictionless. We will maximize the jargon-based industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, granular". We will intensify our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our power to architect. If you visualize interactively, you may have to orchestrate super-extensibly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We will redefine the power of initiatives to reinvent. Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Without well-chosen C2C2C extensible, frictionless reality-based bleeding-edge iteration, e-markets are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, resource-constrained infrastructures are forced to become C2C2B.