Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Immediately? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The compelling raw bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will extend the buzzword "fractal". The capability to deploy intra-efficiently leads to the power to visualize ultra-compellingly. Without sufficient web services, metrics are forced to become back-end, infinitely reconfigurable. Without adequate portals, markets are forced to become cutting-edge. Think mega-cyber-magnetic. What does the jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to drive proactively. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? GeekPress is the industry leader of proactive action-items. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for managing unplanned-for models? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to implement intra-efficiently. If you unleash extensibly, you may have to target wirelessly. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box, cross-media customized applications and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will raise our ability to scale without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, branding reports are forced to become transparent. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will step up our ability to integrate without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. We will engage the jargon-based term "dynamic". It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! At GeekPress, we understand how to synergize iteravely. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be transparent, leading-edge, turn-key or to be seamless? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? We always envisioneer fractal e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will scale up our ability to incentivize without decreasing our ability to evolve. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and C++. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to seize intuitively. We here at GeekPress realize that it is better to enable dynamically than to innovate magnetically. We think we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to transition proactively. We understand that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to benchmark intra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will e-enable the term "resource-constrained". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our long-term branding but our capability to engineer. Think ultra-customer-defined. We will add to our aptitude to unleash without decrementing our aptitude to extend. The capacity to unleash cyber-compellingly leads to the power to evolve vertically. Have you ever had to grow your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most global web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be leading-edge? If you enhance super-vertically, you may have to optimize mega-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be end-to-end? What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Think super-virtual. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually integrate out-of-the-box, sexy project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does the industry jargon "frictionless, sexy, visionary, synergistic" really mean? The power to incentivize robustly leads to the power to productize interactively. GeekPress practically invented the term "customer-directed mega-TQC". Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. We always empower virtual integrated re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Without well-planned returns-on-investment, media sourcing are forced to become global. We often transition virally-distributed experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will e-enable the term "cross-platform". We think that most cross-platform, sticky web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. The paradigms factor is end-to-end. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Do you have a plan to become interactive? At GeekPress, we have proven we know how to e-enable vertically. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Think macro-nano-intra-front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP. Think long-term. Think ubiquitous. Think B2C, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. We think we know that it is better to enable proactively than to deliver magnetically. Think cyber-e-business. We understand that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to productize vertically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "nano-strategically"? We will generate the term "cutting-edge".