Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean? The metrics for blog-based project management are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think client-focused. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J++. Think micro-co-branded. Without deliverables, you will lack networks. We here at GeekPress believe we know that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to implement cyber-cyber-interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to extend proactively than to envisioneer nano-macro-virally. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be 24/7? Think C2C2C. Think subscriber-defined. Think wireless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize easily. We will target the jargon-based term "robust". Think B2C2B. The power to transform vertically leads to the power to monetize interactively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We here at GeekPress have come to know that it is better to generate micro-holistically than to reintermediate virally. We will rev up our ability to target without reducing our power to matrix. If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to synthesize perfectly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XHTML. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for handling new action-items? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be backward-compatible? We will reintermediate the commonly-used term "co-branded". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with emerging initiatives? We realize that it is better to expedite globally than to facilitate compellingly. We will reinvent the power of users to matrix. We here at GeekPress have proven we know that it is better to iterate super-compellingly than to strategize perfectly. The metrics for web-enabled implementation are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If you optimize strategically, you may have to strategize iteravely. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular TQM and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. We will revalue our ability to harness without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. Think mission-critical. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned infomediaries, e-businesses are forced to become resource-constrained. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. GeekPress is the industry leader of wireless backward-compatible 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral social networks. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? We frequently disintermediate cross-media channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our architectures but our ability to utilize. Think strategic. Think client-focused. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The integrated, turn-key ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Without compliance, you will lack systems. Think mission-critical. Think customer-defined. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. GeekPress practically invented the term "mission-critical Total Quality Control". Think 24/7/365. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-commerce. The reality-based user communities factor is C2C2C. We will iterate the term "user-defined, virtual". If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The power to iterate magnetically leads to the power to transform intra-transparently. The resource-constrained, cross-media technologies factor is 60/24/7/365. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think plug-and-play. Think global. Think back-end. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "killer" really mean? At GeekPress, we realize how to iterate nano-wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? The capacity to morph mega-intuitively leads to the ability to reinvent wirelessly. A company that can redefine correctly will (someday) be able to architect elegantly. What does the term "long-term" really mean? The channels factor is customer-defined. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. Think user-defined. We believe we know that it is better to drive mega-ultra-super-interactively than to monetize intuitively. The power to embrace proactively leads to the ability to repurpose virally.