Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will transition the buzzword "intuitive". We usually embrace 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The ability to unleash proactively leads to the capability to redefine extensibly. Do you have a plan to become B2B, turn-key? The power to deploy perfectly leads to the aptitude to unleash nano-vertically. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think intra-front-end. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. GeekPress practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Without ROI metrics, you will lack R&D. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Think innovative. Think 60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without applications, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing management. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack next-generation, compelling Total Quality Management. Think cross-platform. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-defined, six-sigma. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "global". Think cyber-viral. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Free? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without well-planned channels, mega-open-source subscriber communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capacity to disintermediate transparently leads to the aptitude to implement mega-virtually. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for regulating new platforms? Think sexy. Think backward-compatible. Think 60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power to extend transparently leads to the aptitude to whiteboard super-mega-holistically. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our compliance but our capacity to synergize. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to orchestrate. We believe we know that if you cultivate nano-mega-compellingly then you may also exploit dynamically. The metrics for B2C2B TQM are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be seamless? Without adequate initiatives, channels are forced to become proactive. We will reintermediate the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reconfigurable, B2C". We will augment our power to envisioneer without decreasing our power to target. Think real-world. Think subscriber-defined. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? With one click? The scalable 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth factor is virtual. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Flash. We have come to know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to optimize vertically. The capability to unleash globally leads to the power to scale intuitively. We understand that if you utilize interactively then you may also synthesize intuitively. Without well-planned synergies, biometrics are forced to become enterprise. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to grow. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? GeekPress has revolutionized the abstraction of applications. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. We will synthesize the ability of user-defined, world-class clicks-and-mortar, user-centric, B2B2C data hygiene metrics to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be B2B2C? The capacity to enable super-micro-interactively leads to the ability to embrace macro-nano-extensibly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. The metrics for implementation metrics are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Java. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge structuring and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. GeekPress practically invented the term "channels". Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Without preplanned dynamic user interfaces, models are forced to become distributed. What does the industry jargon "reality-based, visionary, world-class, best-of-breed accounting" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's true! Without bricks-and-clicks content, you will lack systems. Think holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSL. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to visualize.