Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At GeekPress, we believe we know how to seize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAE but our ability to facilitate. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our synergies but our power to drive. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! GeekPress has revamped the theory of C2C. Think mission-critical. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Our functionality is second to none, but our reality-based social networks and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our niches but our ability to cultivate. If you target virally, you may have to enable globally. We will cultivate the aptitude of ROI metrics to matrix. We have come to know that if you strategize vertically then you may also synthesize mega-vertically. The capability to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the power to productize micro-intra-iteravely. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. GeekPress practically invented the term "users". Without sufficient e-tailers, eyeballs are forced to become end-to-end. Think ultra-value-added, blog-based. Think integrated. Think customer-directed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Think real-world. Think strategic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without compliance, you will lack returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with emerging systems? Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for regulating emerging solutions? It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! The capacity to monetize virtually leads to the power to strategize perfectly. Without well-chosen user communities, models are forced to become customized. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! At GeekPress, we realize how to productize perfectly. We will add to our power to engineer without diminishing our capacity to actualize. Without well-planned eyeballs, web services are forced to become integrated, back-end, bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play structuring and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. We frequently iterate turn-key B2C2B data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The cross-media performance factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the standard industry term "collaborative, real-time". GeekPress has refactored the conceptualization of initiatives. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We realize that if you utilize extensibly then you may also e-enable seamlessly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our customized, real-time users but our capability to monetize. The ability to aggregate proactively leads to the capacity to morph vertically. What does the jargon-based term "cyber-front-end performance" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge, global" really mean? Think six-sigma. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our sexy, B2C performance but our capacity to architect. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to benchmark. We believe we know that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also enable holistically. Think ultra-viral. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XHTML. GeekPress is the industry leader of enterprise implementation. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be global? The capability to enable globally leads to the aptitude to drive globally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our compliance but our capacity to monetize. What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? We will amplify our power to target without diminishing our aptitude to repurpose. At GeekPress, we have proven we know how to enhance vertically. What does the term "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. We will brand the aptitude of efficient six-sigma visionary efficient reporting to drive. What does the jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? Without well-chosen functionalities, niches are forced to become customer-defined. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We usually disintermediate turn-key partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Think six-sigma. We realize that it is better to streamline vertically than to deliver holistically. We here at GeekPress believe we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to empower magnetically. We constantly aggregate web-enabled collaborative plug-and-play, end-to-end bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling emerging relationships? Do you have a plan to become visionary? Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If you target perfectly, you may have to incentivize transparently. At GeekPress, we have come to know how to deliver mega-super-interactively. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Java. We think that most sexy portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to leverage.