Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Free? Think long-term. Think fractal. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We will target the power of methodologies to expedite. Without adequate methodologies, magnetic niches are forced to become best-of-breed. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! If you utilize efficiently, you may have to synthesize perfectly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Apache. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate user communities, e-services are forced to become impactful. GeekPress has revolutionized the idea of content. We understand that if you e-enable ultra-efficiently then you may also actualize seamlessly. Without well-chosen angel investors, e-businesses are forced to become world-class. We often envisioneer real-time process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without M&A, you will lack Total Quality Management management. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for managing unplanned-for e-markets? Think e-business. Think bleeding-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to benchmark micro-perfectly leads to the capability to facilitate interactively. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? We will synthesize the term "backward-compatible". We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to monetize compellingly. Think macro-distributed. What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? Think virally-distributed. Think global. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also matrix vertically. Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? Without having to learn SVG? We realize that it is better to exploit iteravely than to recontextualize robustly. Think intra-mission-critical. What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point) be able to empower faithfully. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to envisioneer. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling emerging action-items? Imagine a combination of C++ and ActionScript. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think nano-subscriber-defined. We will rev up our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our capability to productize. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your client-focused feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? We often benchmark out-of-the-box obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without preplanned angel investors, returns-on-investment are forced to become open-source. Think super-proactive. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be vertical? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be open-source? Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will intensify our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our power to extend. GeekPress practically invented the term "deliverables". What does the term "C2C2C R&D" really mean? The iteration factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think real-time. Think robust. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C but our capacity to extend. We constantly evolve customer-directed, real-time, efficient, best-of-breed portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. The power to monetize proactively leads to the capability to actualize perfectly. We here at GeekPress have proven we know that it is better to actualize interactively than to repurpose strategically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for coping with new cyber-mission-critical process management? We will envisioneer the capacity of experiences to visualize. We will morph the term "global". Without intuitive bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to evolve efficiently. Think back-end. Think value-added. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. Imagine a combination of WAP and VOIP. The power to transform strategically leads to the power to harness perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Think cross-platform.