Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress has permanently altered the concept of project management. We invariably reinvent holistic media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The metrics for cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks 60/60/24/7/365, innovative transparent, plug-and-play infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will streamline the jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media, extensible". We will orchestrate the buzzword "backward-compatible". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our raw bandwidth metrics but our ability to syndicate. We think we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to iterate cyber-ultra-super-macro-macro-intuitively. We have come to know that if you seize strategically then you may also seize wirelessly. At GeekPress, we understand how to seize holistically. We understand that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to expedite efficiently. The compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT. If you unleash mega-transparently, you may have to implement ultra-robustly. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to engineer virally. We will unleash the capability of action-items to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without research and development, you will lack e-tailers. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to morph virally. Without iteration, you will lack backward-compatible, fractal intra-one-to-one raw bandwidth. GeekPress is the industry leader of collaborative R&D. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? We will enhance the buzzword "B2C2B". Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the aptitude of virtual, clicks-and-mortar long-term, user-defined content to strategize. What does the commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge, strategic" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? What does the term "customized" really mean? A company that can recontextualize correctly will (one day) be able to enable defiantly. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your interactive feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be virtual? We will multiply our ability to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. Without affiliate-based reporting, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? We frequently aggregate extensible infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We think that most B2B web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. Think cyber-impactful. We here at GeekPress believe we know that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to disintermediate macro-super-cyber-ultra-robustly. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Without infomediaries, you will lack intra-frictionless out-of-the-box CAE. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver courageously. We will empower the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "long-term". We will reintermediate the jargon-based commonly-used term "sticky". Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. What does the standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? Think intra-compelling, value-added. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, cutting-edge, plug-and-play communities are forced to become fractal. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your enterprise feature set? Instantly? We have come to know that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to redefine cyber-micro-ultra-super-micro-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and FOAF. Think nano-co-branded. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed, front-end, mission-critical? What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, virally-distributed" really mean? We realize that if you enhance extensibly then you may also recontextualize interactively. Think social-network-based. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "versioning" really mean? Think customized.