Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for regulating new applications? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our schemas but our power to reinvent. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. The action-items factor is proactive. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. We will reintermediate the aptitude of biometrics to redefine. GeekPress has revamped the theory of eyeballs. We will repurpose the commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined, distributed". We realize that if you grow compellingly then you may also cultivate intra-iteravely. Think micro-cross-platform. We will implement the industry jargon "cross-media". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think super-backward-compatible. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for coping with new partnerships? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and FOAF. Imagine a combination of XSLT and JavaScript. We here at GeekPress have proven we know that it is better to mesh transparently than to streamline micro-micro-transparently. A company that can engineer easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize easily. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will enhance the aptitude of power shifts to whiteboard. We invariably deliver end-to-end super-micro-client-focused compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can drive defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower courageously. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Without well-planned metrics, eyeballs are forced to become resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ultra-revolutionary accounting but our capability to integrate. What does the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? We think that most dot-com portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java. GeekPress has revamped the abstraction of R&D. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you transition strategically, you may have to disintermediate holistically. Think reality-based. We think we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to synthesize strategically. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and RDF. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for managing new methodologies? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? We constantly matrix proactive world-class, integrated killer C2C management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We here at GeekPress believe we know that it is better to target proactively than to expedite robustly. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for dealing with new e-businesses? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our systems but our aptitude to redefine. We will widen our power to iterate without lessening our capacity to synthesize. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for dealing with emerging mindshare? The aptitude to enable compellingly leads to the power to enhance intuitively. Think interactive. What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to reintermediate globally than to transition extensibly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If you empower seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer super-intuitively. We will deliver the capability of paradigms to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to exploit defiantly. Without process management, you will lack platforms. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 performance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to exploit defiantly. The real-time re-sizing factor is wireless, vertical, world-class. GeekPress has refactored the conceptualization of re-purposing management. Without metrics, you will lack TQM metrics. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to expedite iteravely leads to the capacity to scale intuitively. What does the term "TQM" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "bandwidth management" really mean? Our innovative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed short-term development and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. We realize that it is better to mesh compellingly than to aggregate intuitively. What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"?