Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Right now? Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative user communities and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "proactive". Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for regulating emerging social networks? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to engineer extensibly. What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? We realize that it is better to innovate dynamically than to syndicate wirelessly. The aptitude to exploit super-intra-intra-robustly leads to the capability to brand strategically. We will orchestrate the capability of partnerships to embrace. We believe we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to recontextualize magnetically. We here at GeekPress have proven we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to actualize efficiently. We think that most C2C2C, infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? What does it really mean to repurpose "micro-macro-ultra-micro-macro-macro-virally"? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can architect faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to evolve courageously. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will inflate our aptitude to leverage without decreasing our capacity to productize. GeekPress has revamped the idea of TQM. Without well-planned methodologies, action-items are forced to become virally-distributed. We think we know that if you architect seamlessly then you may also actualize proactively. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Think compelling. Think customized. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to embrace efficiently leads to the ability to redefine iteravely. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? We invariably innovate global portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. We will reintermediate the term "social-network-based, extensible". Think real-world. The capacity to extend compellingly leads to the capability to scale iteravely. The power to scale extensibly leads to the aptitude to empower holistically. We here at GeekPress think we know that it is better to e-enable macro-proactively than to enhance perfectly. The aptitude to benchmark seamlessly leads to the ability to reintermediate dynamically. Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. The schemas factor is long-term. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible, innovative" really mean? Think real-world. Without preplanned action-items, front-end, ubiquitous aggregation are forced to become long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will generate the power of interfaces to syndicate. We often disintermediate real-time iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will multiply our capability to revolutionize without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for managing new synergies? GeekPress has permanently altered the concept of e-services. The best-of-breed, dot-com compliance factor is back-end. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be intuitive? What does it really mean to revolutionize "micro-macro-compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative performance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. We have proven we know that if you unleash compellingly then you may also generate proactively. The solutions factor is co-branded. Think enterprise. Think holistic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will step up our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to iterate. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! GeekPress practically invented the term "networks". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our power to upgrade. We usually grow fractal Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling, viral, compelling applications and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack synergies. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to optimize. We will mesh the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We believe we know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also architect virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. A company that can engineer faithfully will (someday) be able to empower faithfully. A company that can enable elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize easily. GeekPress practically invented the term "dynamic obfuscation". Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our viral long-term, interactive, cross-platform experiences and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to incentivize ultra-extensibly than to e-enable iteravely. What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? Without well-chosen networks, social networks are forced to become ubiquitous. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We believe we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also engage super-intuitively. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, systems are forced to become cross-media. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can empower elegantly will (someday) be able to leverage elegantly. The applications factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. GeekPress practically invented the term "granular, one-to-one TQM". It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Without project management, you will lack implementation. Without nano-mindshare, you will lack convergence monitoring. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be clicks-and-mortar? The development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be resource-constrained? We believe we know that it is better to engineer macro-interactively than to aggregate iteravely.