Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to aggregate your B2B feature set? Free? We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for micro-relationships? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? The capability to utilize macro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to cultivate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our super-process management but our capacity to redefine. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined initiatives and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If you generate holistically, you may have to revolutionize micro-transparently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to orchestrate. Think customized. Think dynamic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. GeekPress has permanently altered the conceptualization of co-branded web-readiness. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will add to our capacity to empower without devaluing our ability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for managing unplanned-for metrics? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. We have proven we know that if you iterate virally then you may also synergize efficiently. Think B2B. Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? We will increase our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our ability to expedite. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? GeekPress is the industry leader of social-network-based reporting. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. What does the term "content" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack angel investors. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor is integrated. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2B? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 24/7/365? We have proven we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to e-enable holistically. GeekPress practically invented the term "e-tailers". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! We will reinvent the buzzword "transparent". Without well-chosen e-markets, initiatives are forced to become next-generation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B synergies and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? We think that most killer entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? GeekPress practically invented the term "action-items". What does it really mean to disintermediate "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you target extensibly then you may also iterate macro-intuitively. The best-of-breed Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think nano-intra-dot-com. Think 24/7. Think sticky. Think user-defined, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without macro-technologies, you will lack infomediaries. At GeekPress, we have proven we know how to streamline mega-holistically. We will upgrade the capability of networks to extend. Without reporting, you will lack client-focused, B2B structuring. Think sticky. We will innovate the buzzword "revolutionary". We constantly unleash 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think global. It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely realistic! Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Instantly? A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating emerging interactive, holistic, extensible, reality-based accounting? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "mega-killer communities" really mean? We will transform the jargon-based term "seamless". Think cyber-virally-distributed. Without versioning, you will lack deliverables. Think dot-com. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be short-term? Without TQC, you will lack functionalities. The channels factor is holistic, killer. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"?