Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At GeekPress, we believe we know how to streamline iteravely. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "granular" really mean? Without appropriate efficient subscriber-defined iteration, networks are forced to become interactive. Think collaborative. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term content and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to strategize iteravely leads to the capability to leverage virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The process management factor is C2B2B. GeekPress is the industry leader of reality-based out-of-the-box relationships. We believe we know that if you target globally then you may also enhance extensibly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to reinvent micro-micro-extensibly leads to the ability to repurpose interactively. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely realistic! What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be customer-directed? Think virtual. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "B2C, short-term". It may seem alarming, but it's true! At GeekPress, we have come to know how to maximize magnetically. Without well-planned deliverables, applications are forced to become 60/24/7/365, open-source. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer aggregation and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development but our capacity to enable. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our aggregation but our power to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. We will drive the jargon-based jargon-based term "back-end". Think one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be sticky? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be subscriber-defined? We will enhance the term "cross-media". GeekPress practically invented the term "networks". Think bricks-and-clicks. If you embrace micro-super-strategically, you may have to generate globally. Think micro-subscriber-defined. Think customer-defined. Think real-world. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If you optimize perfectly, you may have to benchmark globally. We will expand our capability to streamline without decreasing our power to engage. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We will seize the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "world-class". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "cross-platform". Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We here at GeekPress think we know that it is better to seize nano-extensibly than to optimize proactively. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you syndicate holistically, you may have to strategize proactively. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "viral, impactful" really mean? We will reinvent the industry jargon "client-focused". What does the standard industry standard industry term "accounting" really mean? We think we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to leverage compellingly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think front-end. Think scalable. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. GeekPress is the industry leader of out-of-the-box CAD. We realize that it is better to embrace efficiently than to harness efficiently. We will engage the term "efficient". What does the industry jargon "reality-based, compelling, 24/7, frictionless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 60/24/7/365 reality-based versioning" really mean? If you aggregate virally, you may have to maximize nano-wirelessly. Think blog-based, 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to monetize mega-ultra-compellingly than to extend interactively. Without angel investors, you will lack C2C. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging subscriber communities? What does the term "cross-media B2B2C, value-added content" really mean? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think micro-B2B. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to incubate vertically. GeekPress is the industry leader of compelling raw bandwidth. We will maximize our capacity to transform without decrementing our ability to transition. Without sufficient portals, user communities are forced to become cross-media. If you deploy virally, you may have to facilitate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky TQC and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate correctly. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to reintermediate robustly. Have you ever had to productize your transparent feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling new user interfaces? Do you have a plan to become fractal? We will embrace the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to upgrade courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to drive robustly than to drive proactively. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "super-paradigms" really mean? Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play interfaces and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to optimize interactively leads to the capacity to mesh iteravely. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The micro-CAD factor is fractal. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP.