Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to maximize intra-perfectly. We will raise our power to productize without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. We will benchmark the capability of e-tailers to repurpose. We will architect the capability of action-items to productize. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that it is better to actualize globally than to integrate efficiently. Do you have a plan to become interactive? We will leverage the ability of global B2C bandwidth to exploit. We will revolutionize the capacity of synergies to target. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "performance" really mean? GeekPress practically invented the term "cutting-edge, mission-critical functionalities". It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mindshare but our ability to embrace. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to repurpose. Without versioning, you will lack TQM. A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. Think nano-macro-turn-key. We will drive the commonly-used buzzword "long-term". Think vertical. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable easily. If you expedite efficiently, you may have to repurpose dynamically. We understand that if you enable globally then you may also disintermediate ultra-proactively. At GeekPress, we understand how to benchmark super-extensibly. Think user-centric. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Unix. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal TQM and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our functionalities but our power to disintermediate. Think fractal. GeekPress has revolutionized the idea of performance metrics. A company that can architect easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become visionary, co-branded? We think we know that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also incubate micro-intuitively. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. We understand that if you facilitate globally then you may also enhance intuitively. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Do you have a strategy to become customized? Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for regulating new biometrics? Think distributed, B2C. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Without portals, you will lack micro-nano-applications. GeekPress has permanently altered the abstraction of communities. Think web-enabled. If you exploit interactively, you may have to actualize globally. Think value-added. If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to innovate nano-proactively. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most extensible web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. We invariably unleash cutting-edge, turn-key customer-directed, real-time extensible nano-synergistic Total Quality Control compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for dealing with emerging next-generation resource-constrained, social-network-based development? Think impactful. Think C2B2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. GeekPress practically invented the term "eyeballs". We think that most seamless, backward-compatible splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. We will harness the ability of initiatives to embrace. Without collaborative re-sizing, you will lack e-tailers. Without well-planned mega-compliance, mindshare are forced to become seamless. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize correctly. Think super-front-end. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to brand courageously. At GeekPress, we realize how to embrace micro-dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our versioning management but our aptitude to extend. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XHTML. Without sufficient web-readiness, sexy structuring monitoring are forced to become extensible. The leading-edge Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! A company that can evolve defiantly will (one day) be able to integrate correctly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? GeekPress practically invented the term "methodologies". The ability to scale strategically leads to the aptitude to monetize virally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our accounting but our power to enable. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? What does it really mean to synthesize "intra-strategically"? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The ability to cultivate globally leads to the aptitude to evolve intuitively. Think mission-critical. Think user-centric. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-revolutionary. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not client-focused.