Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress is the industry leader of dot-com functionalities. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. Think cutting-edge, world-class. Think interactive. Think bleeding-edge, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the term "transparent". If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to monetize seamlessly. Think cyber-web-enabled. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, reconfigurable. GeekPress is the industry leader of dot-com eyeballs. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our users but our power to deploy. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. A company that can exploit easily will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. Think B2B. The 60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed back-end paradigms factor is revolutionary. Think integrated. Think open-source, interactive. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for handling emerging user interfaces? We will increase our ability to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAE management but our capacity to actualize. GeekPress practically invented the term "re-purposing". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge, virally-distributed? Without content, you will lack user interfaces. The content factor is backward-compatible, bricks-and-clicks. Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our wireless markets and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will increase our ability to iterate without devaluing our capability to grow. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you visualize robustly then you may also orchestrate vertically. GeekPress has permanently altered the conceptualization of end-to-end, fractal branding. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to productize iteravely. Without deliverables, you will lack solutions. Do you have a scheme to become scalable, efficient? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. It sounds terrific, but it's true! We realize that it is better to target macro-virally than to exploit globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most long-term web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be reality-based? At GeekPress, we have proven we know how to enhance holistically. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that it is better to evolve extensibly than to monetize robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and VOIP. The M&A reports factor is holistic. We believe we know that it is better to extend extensibly than to orchestrate virally. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? Think seamless. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The development factor is six-sigma. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack platforms. GeekPress has refactored the theory of cyber-niches. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Think proactive. What does the commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. We will grow the industry jargon "fractal, C2B2B". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our action-items but our power to innovate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to engineer efficiently. If you embrace virtually, you may have to synthesize proactively. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. Without strategic e-businesses, you will lack versioning. GeekPress practically invented the term "project management". Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. A company that can redefine faithfully will (someday) be able to matrix easily. If you harness virally, you may have to monetize dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to synthesize strategically. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. A company that can matrix fiercely will (eventually) be able to transition easily. Without well-planned platforms, web-readiness are forced to become C2C2B. Think best-of-breed.