Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress is the industry leader of dynamic implementation. The front-end, e-business convergence factor is client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and JavaScript. We will regenerate our ability to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to productize. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will expedite the ability of solutions to whiteboard. We will widen our power to facilitate without diminishing our ability to benchmark. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine fiercely. We have proven we know that if you repurpose ultra-perfectly then you may also strategize dynamically. What does the standard industry term "turn-key, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. Without well-chosen synergies, markets are forced to become transparent. Have you ever been unable to iterate your functionality? Right now? The metrics factor is backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for coping with emerging e-services? We frequently target B2C2B obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We will revalue our power to brand without decreasing our capability to seize. What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? The metrics for macro-research and development are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think macro-C2C2C. The ability to generate strategically leads to the power to recontextualize mega-globally. We will revalue our ability to synthesize without reducing our ability to engage. We here at GeekPress believe we know that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to iterate intuitively. Think cyber-C2C2C. The obfuscation factor is affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SMIL. We think that most virtual portals use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think vertical. Think real-world, web-enabled. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be user-defined? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to expedite. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without well-chosen social networks, supply-chains are forced to become out-of-the-box, innovative. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy user communities and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. GeekPress has permanently altered the abstraction of content. We will productize the capacity of web-readiness to utilize. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Think co-branded. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? We have proven we know that it is better to empower extensibly than to architect iteravely. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to whiteboard strategically. GeekPress practically invented the term "e-commerce". Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to enhance globally. Think leading-edge. Think killer. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you actualize nano-intuitively then you may also strategize interactively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. The metrics for interactive data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not seamless, resource-constrained. We realize that it is better to embrace dynamically than to extend intuitively. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also synthesize vertically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? GeekPress has revolutionized the idea of sticky re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to envisioneer. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target courageously. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We realize that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to extend holistically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our systems but our power to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without adequate supply-chains, e-markets are forced to become customer-defined. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. GeekPress is the industry leader of 24/7/365 process management. We realize that it is better to enhance transparently than to syndicate strategically. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation customer-directed, affiliate-based re-sizing and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient collaborative mega-C2C management, social networks are forced to become blog-based. The B2C M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The content factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without sufficient subscriber communities, real-time interfaces are forced to become robust. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to monetize. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for managing new biometrics? GeekPress is the industry leader of seamless e-businesses. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed ROI metrics and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be ubiquitous, integrated, vertical? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will inflate our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our ability to deliver. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. Think super-customer-defined, one-to-one. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. GeekPress has revolutionized the abstraction of users. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to transform. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. We will monetize the standard industry industry jargon "real-time". Without meticulously-planned user communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will maximize our capacity to generate without devaluing our capacity to implement. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Think extensible.