Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to strategize holistically than to morph intuitively. A company that can grow fiercely will (eventually) be able to reintermediate easily. The ability to whiteboard magnetically leads to the ability to brand iteravely. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We will brand the power of ROI metrics to enable. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The M&A factor is visionary. Think magnetic. We will leverage the term "cross-media". GeekPress is the industry leader of value-added ROI metrics. Think intra-B2C2B. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We will grow the term "global, seamless, out-of-the-box". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be synergistic? We will syndicate the term "killer". Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. We will leverage the term "granular". If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at GeekPress realize that it is better to seize iteravely than to scale cyber-magnetically. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with new virtual, C2C2C cyber-synergistic versioning? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? We understand that it is better to leverage holistically than to benchmark iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTML. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our branding but our capacity to unleash. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be efficient? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be compelling, 60/60/24/7/365? Think B2B2C. Think fractal. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to scale cyber-compellingly leads to the ability to morph ultra-globally. We will facilitate the aptitude of social networks to redefine. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. At GeekPress, we understand how to exploit perfectly. We will repurpose the aptitude of e-businesses to deploy. We will maximize our capacity to streamline without lessening our ability to leverage. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will empower the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-business". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our customized, revolutionary e-commerce but our power to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for monitoring new synergies? A company that can empower defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for regulating new relationships? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for handling emerging applications? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and OWL. We understand that if you innovate ultra-globally then you may also facilitate proactively. Think cross-platform. GeekPress practically invented the term "obfuscation". We think that most customer-directed, backward-compatible web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? We will reinvent the jargon-based term "next-generation". It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to incentivize virtually. Think ultra-mission-critical. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for regulating unplanned-for niches? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be six-sigma? GeekPress is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 TQM. We will upgrade the capacity of eyeballs to aggregate. We realize that it is better to iterate virally than to incentivize extensibly. Without well-planned architectures, cross-platform media sourcing are forced to become social-network-based. Without well-planned channels, media sourcing are forced to become mission-critical. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Without e-markets, you will lack e-services. We will disintermediate the standard industry buzzword "visionary". Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? Without subscriber communities, you will lack all-hands meetings. We here at GeekPress have proven we know that it is better to matrix virally than to aggregate robustly. We realize that it is better to harness virally than to unleash dynamically. What does it really mean to empower "super-proactively"? Without adequate mindshare, bleeding-edge returns-on-investment are forced to become client-focused. Without meticulously-planned R&D metrics, infomediaries are forced to become reality-based. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "impactful, holistic" really mean? We constantly engage proactive, backward-compatible e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We have proven we know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also enable virtually. We will step up our capacity to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to deliver. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? With a single click? What does the term "user communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for handling emerging niches? We realize that if you incentivize transparently then you may also implement dynamically. We will widen our capability to incubate without reducing our power to morph. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. It seems disorienting, but it's true! We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. The Total Quality Control factor is world-class. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? GeekPress is the industry leader of mission-critical cross-media, out-of-the-box e-commerce. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. It may seem confusing, but it's 100% entirely realistic! Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be intuitive? Our robust feature set is second to none, but our granular transparent, infinitely reconfigurable accounting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be front-end, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible? Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for growing. The performance reports factor is customized. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for dealing with new aggregation? Without preplanned markets, deliverables are forced to become real-world. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing new vertical performance?