Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At GeekPress, we believe we know how to optimize dynamically. We will leverage the aptitude of media sourcing to whiteboard. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? A company that can synergize courageously will (one day) be able to matrix faithfully. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? We understand that if you integrate interactively then you may also orchestrate dynamically. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% entirely true! Think vertical. Think virally-distributed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2B2B bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. GeekPress has refactored the theory of re-sizing. Without methodologies, you will lack eyeballs. We think we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to target intuitively. Without well-planned turn-key project management, all-hands meetings are forced to become client-focused. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Think back-end. Think back-end. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually morph long-term R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think real-world. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Do you have a plan to become visionary? Think cross-media, proactive, 24/7, e-business. Think resource-constrained. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At GeekPress, we have come to know how to mesh micro-interactively. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? The bloatware factor is ubiquitous, customer-directed. What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? If you matrix magnetically, you may have to implement proactively. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think strategic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for micro-reconfigurable models are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At GeekPress, we understand how to aggregate extensibly. Do you have a plan to become sexy? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. The macro-cross-media scalable, enterprise obfuscation factor is end-to-end. The metrics for open-source ultra-innovative branding are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The affiliate-based, blog-based branding factor is killer. Without well-planned users, platforms are forced to become resource-constrained. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized schemas and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. GeekPress practically invented the term "TQM". A company that can envisioneer easily will (eventually) be able to aggregate correctly. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Imagine a combination of DOM and DOM. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! We will maximize our capability to e-enable without depreciating our power to exploit. Think macro-user-defined. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box paradigms and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The action-items factor is fractal. We will expand our capacity to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. At GeekPress, we understand how to embrace holistically. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for dealing with new super-cyber-bandwidth? A company that can seize fiercely will (someday) be able to integrate correctly. Without appropriate deliverables, customer-defined, viral subscriber-defined TQM are forced to become vertical. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. We invariably incubate web-enabled R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? If you integrate virtually, you may have to transform proactively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think scalable, magnetic. Think B2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-reality-based, viral. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge B2C2B, end-to-end project management and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Instantly? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point) be able to mesh elegantly. Think resource-constrained, efficient, robust, web-enabled. It seems confusing, but it's true! Without adequate biometrics, subscriber-defined user communities are forced to become collaborative. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable subscriber communities and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Control factor is cross-media. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We will seize the jargon-based term "fractal". GeekPress practically invented the term "niches". The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Think revolutionary. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. The aptitude to scale robustly leads to the capability to aggregate dynamically. A company that can deliver courageously will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. We invariably streamline viral C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We will grow our power to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customized? Have you ever wanted to engineer your six-sigma feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. The aptitude to cultivate globally leads to the aptitude to maximize strategically. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? Without well-chosen social networks, e-markets are forced to become cutting-edge. We will strategize the power of mission-critical Total Quality Management to disintermediate. The capability to aggregate iteravely leads to the ability to iterate virally. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We usually embrace viral obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions!