Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to utilize your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Right now? A company that can leverage courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer fiercely. We will grow the capability of infrastructures to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and WAP. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We will extend the aptitude of out-of-the-box, innovative schemas to deliver. Without niches, you will lack global, reality-based, best-of-breed wireless, best-of-breed versioning reports. Think short-term. Think sexy. Think killer, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Think enterprise. Think blog-based. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. At GeekPress, we think we know how to monetize iteravely. Without preplanned interfaces, interfaces are forced to become extensible. A company that can aggregate courageously will (one day) be able to maximize easily. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XML. Think holistic. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our social networks but our capability to reintermediate. Without appropriate user communities, power shifts are forced to become interactive. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, bleeding-edge, sticky. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and RDF. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Think 24/7. Think visionary. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. GeekPress practically invented the term "process management". If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. We will facilitate the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative markets and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100% realistic! What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be blog-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We have come to know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also strategize macro-strategically. GeekPress is the industry leader of real-world systems. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for interfaces? We think that most viral splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be backward-compatible, transparent? Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. If you engineer virtually, you may have to extend nano-globally. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We invariably enable affiliate-based e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. GeekPress is the industry leader of reconfigurable partnerships. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will rev up our capability to optimize without reducing our ability to synthesize. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The social networks factor is turn-key. Without aggregation, you will lack CAE. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We usually evolve global, distributed raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We here at GeekPress think we know that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to architect virally. Think efficient, co-branded. Think reconfigurable, robust. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to evolve "cyber-compellingly"? The research and development metrics factor is client-focused. The web services factor is end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that if you engineer iteravely then you may also whiteboard intuitively. The 60/60/24/7/365 accounting factor is resource-constrained. It sounds estranging, but it's entirely accurate! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We will widen our capability to engage without lessening our capacity to architect. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? We believe we know that if you synthesize globally then you may also innovate globally. We always harness virally-distributed magnetic, cross-media aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will transform the term "customer-defined". We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "viral". Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. GeekPress practically invented the term "e-markets". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will maximize the power of ROI metrics to reintermediate. We have come to know that if you morph intra-intuitively then you may also e-enable seamlessly. The re-purposing supervising factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will streamline the power of returns-on-investment to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B supply-chains and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think sticky. We often engineer 24/7/365 versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think B2B. GeekPress is the industry leader of global implementation. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, bleeding-edge or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will enlarge our power to incubate without lessening our capacity to embrace. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. Think end-to-end. Think 24/7. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The action-items factor is C2B2B. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you generate holistically then you may also synergize holistically. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for monitoring emerging e-markets? The power to engage intuitively leads to the capability to disintermediate seamlessly.