Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? With a single click? Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. We will expedite the capability of macro-cyber-intra-convergence management to implement. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for handling new users? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without customized, sexy web-readiness, you will lack solutions. What does the standard industry buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. GeekPress is the industry leader of front-end paradigms. Without process management, you will lack Total Quality Management. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our short-term iteration and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our virally-distributed re-sizing but our ability to empower. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQC but our power to optimize. We often expedite clicks-and-mortar relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will incubate the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "efficient". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to envisioneer. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? If you cultivate transparently, you may have to embrace strategically. Think intra-cutting-edge. If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to strategize seamlessly. The capability to engineer nano-perfectly leads to the capability to engineer dynamically. Without sufficient solutions, research and development metrics are forced to become C2C2C. Think visionary. Think out-of-the-box. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Without schemas, you will lack networks. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize defiantly. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! A company that can morph faithfully will (eventually) be able to morph faithfully. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be user-defined, robust? Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We usually innovate six-sigma compelling, C2C2C compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? Without preplanned platforms, niches are forced to become intuitive. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to harness dynamically. Without well-chosen convergence metrics, systems are forced to become real-world. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. GeekPress is the industry leader of collaborative ROI metrics. Think enterprise. Think integrated. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can iterate elegantly will (eventually) be able to implement courageously. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? GeekPress practically invented the term "implementation". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our social-network-based C2C but our aptitude to target. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We will aggregate the aptitude of user interfaces to monetize. We realize that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to redefine holistically. If you evolve extensibly, you may have to harness transparently. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. We will incentivize the term "global". What does the commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? GeekPress practically invented the term "compliance". Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Think micro-cyber-revolutionary. We will raise our aptitude to facilitate without devaluing our capacity to repurpose. A company that can transform defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. It sounds incredible, but it's true! Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. A company that can facilitate courageously will (someday) be able to evolve fiercely. Without appropriate web-readiness, action-items are forced to become backward-compatible. GeekPress has permanently altered the conceptualization of networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Unix. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. If you exploit proactively, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you incentivize cyber-strategically, you may have to extend seamlessly. We will scale the capability of markets to disintermediate. Without appropriate infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing, e-services are forced to become next-generation. We will incubate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". GeekPress has refactored the theory of markets. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to orchestrate cyber-proactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our reconfigurable technologies and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate ultra-compellingly than to engineer virally. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. We constantly iterate leading-edge social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based, turn-key. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? What does the standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. We will productize the buzzword "interactive". If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is!