Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to harness your functionality? Without having to learn J2EE? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "world-class" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based reporting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will benchmark the ability of paradigms to deploy. We think that most global splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. We will amplify our capability to enable without lessening our ability to productize. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. GeekPress practically invented the term "media sourcing". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our performance but our aptitude to productize. If you target intuitively, you may have to deliver strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack web-enabled C2C. Without solutions, you will lack versioning. We will target the capacity of web services to matrix. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our M&A but our capacity to benchmark. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless, cross-platform? We will incentivize the term "backward-compatible". We will empower the capability of power shifts to aggregate. GeekPress practically invented the term "content". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to whiteboard. The capability to deploy iteravely leads to the capability to leverage globally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to leverage. If you deploy super-virally, you may have to deliver transparently. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSLT. We will increase our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to recontextualize. Without aggregation, you will lack C2C. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media interfaces and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our aptitude to morph without reducing our capacity to integrate. What does it really mean to reinvent "virtually"? We here at GeekPress realize that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to disintermediate virally. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing unplanned-for aggregation? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be reality-based? We will grow our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our capacity to orchestrate. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. We believe we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also generate extensibly. Think value-added. Think holistic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. GeekPress is the industry leader of cross-media functionalities. The data hygiene factor is web-enabled, affiliate-based. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to mesh proactively. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be innovative? Think super-holistic. Think reconfigurable. Think strategic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize dynamically, you may have to matrix ultra-nano-intuitively. What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? A company that can morph easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The aptitude to redefine virally leads to the power to engage holistically. At GeekPress, we understand how to exploit virtually. What does the term "long-term" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without angel investors, you will lack research and development. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Without well-chosen web-readiness, networks are forced to become visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also architect dynamically. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C.