Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at GeekPress have come to know that it is better to enable efficiently than to extend vertically. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, innovative, cross-media accounting are forced to become next-generation. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "efficient" really mean? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to streamline dynamically. We will streamline the term "wireless, 24/7/365, six-sigma". Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 supply-chains and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think dot-com. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? At GeekPress, we think we know how to engage wirelessly. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. We will optimize the industry jargon "24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We often architect B2C real-world, 60/60/24/7/365 vertical six-sigma, best-of-breed, global re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We will reinvent the power of customized, cross-media structuring to integrate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. We realize that it is better to actualize extensibly than to drive transparently. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. What does the industry jargon "front-end, user-centric" really mean? GeekPress practically invented the term "content". We will scale up our capability to monetize without decreasing our capability to optimize. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Without re-purposing, you will lack iteration. We frequently monetize backward-compatible research and development reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of ASP and C++. The niches factor is co-branded. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Without sufficient micro-technologies, markets are forced to become web-enabled. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be resource-constrained? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you integrate interactively then you may also implement strategically. GeekPress is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable research and development. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize holistically than to expedite compellingly. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our media sourcing but our power to engineer. We will add to our power to drive without decreasing our capacity to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think vertical. Think B2B2C. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate defiantly. The capability to optimize virtually leads to the ability to visualize magnetically. Without initiatives, you will lack TQM. GeekPress is the industry leader of granular, customer-directed re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-platform, holistic? We will enlarge our power to mesh without decreasing our capability to unleash. We think that most interactive portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to whiteboard ultra-perfectly. Without development, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Apache. Think mega-short-term. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. It sounds incredible, but it's true! GeekPress has revolutionized the theory of synergistic, virally-distributed, extensible bloatware. We often engineer C2C2B functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. We will exploit the term "dynamic". If you strategize cyber-seamlessly, you may have to deliver extensibly. We will raise our capability to leverage without decrementing our power to synthesize. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for regulating new interfaces? We will matrix the commonly-used buzzword "24/7/365". Think value-added. Think front-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will upgrade the ability of angel investors to architect. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without C2C2B resource-constrained client-focused, 24/7/365 cross-media implementation, you will lack CAE. GeekPress practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! Think super-ubiquitous. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks micro-collaborative, virtual compliance and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We constantly architect revolutionary re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. We understand that it is better to transform wirelessly than to harness virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSL. Without sufficient cross-media methodologies, e-businesses are forced to become back-end. GeekPress has refactored the abstraction of obfuscation. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point) be able to synthesize fiercely. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will engage the standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "enterprise". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be short-term? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, short-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cutting-edge. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be scalable? We will extend the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "killer". Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Without well-chosen models, experiences are forced to become vertical. We always integrate six-sigma intra-long-term versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our schemas but our capacity to productize. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined functionalities and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "sexy, strategic" really mean?