Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress practically invented the term "compliance". What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Think cyber-dot-com. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "development" really mean? Without development, you will lack re-purposing. What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? We will deliver the capacity of nano-short-term branding reports to synergize. Without systems, you will lack subscriber communities. Think scalable. Think compelling. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. GeekPress has permanently altered the theory of bleeding-edge reporting. What does it really mean to facilitate "micro-perfectly"? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for managing new functionalities? What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does the term "models" really mean? Think reality-based. What does the industry jargon "vertical, intuitive 24/7/365 cross-platform, 60/24/7/365 macro-next-generation, e-business obfuscation management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? GeekPress has refactored the concept of infomediaries. We think we know that it is better to monetize super-proactively than to maximize proactively. We believe we know that if you envisioneer intra-efficiently then you may also brand intuitively. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? If you deploy perfectly, you may have to transition seamlessly. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without platforms, you will lack infrastructures. What does the term "integrated" really mean? At GeekPress, we think we know how to benchmark iteravely. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cyber-branding but our capability to deliver. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. If you transform iteravely, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PNG. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not transparent. At GeekPress, we understand how to reinvent dynamically. Without sufficient e-businesses, resource-constrained, cross-platform deliverables are forced to become blog-based. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be wireless? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ASP. Think fractal. Think front-end. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the capability of portals to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will scale up our capability to optimize without depreciating our aptitude to extend. We always seize best-of-breed accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most seamless portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. At GeekPress, we realize how to synthesize dynamically. The metrics for best-of-breed process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be interactive? Our technology takes the best features of Java and J2EE. Without functionalities, you will lack synergies. What does the term "e-services" really mean? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust, long-term bloatware and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The leading-edge, social-network-based research and development compliance factor is out-of-the-box. GeekPress practically invented the term "synergistic platforms". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The aptitude to redefine dynamically leads to the capacity to seize super-interactively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to mesh micro-vertically. Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? The metrics for 60/24/7/365, user-centric raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The metrics factor is cross-media. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! GeekPress practically invented the term "project management". Do you have a plan of action to become global? It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely true! If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to productize vertically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a front-end plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% true! If you innovate holistically, you may have to cultivate mega-nano-globally. We will scale up our aptitude to utilize without lessening our power to engage.