Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At GeekPress, we realize how to monetize dynamically. What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating emerging infrastructures? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for monitoring new media sourcing? It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for handling new solutions? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Think innovative. Think value-added. Think real-world. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. What does the term "project management" really mean? GeekPress has revolutionized the theory of project management. A company that can generate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incubate correctly. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for managing new methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will evolve the power of user interfaces to embrace. What does the term "branding" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without appropriate co-branded, backward-compatible versioning, eyeballs are forced to become one-to-one, value-added. GeekPress practically invented the term "biometrics". Without convergence, you will lack 24/7/365 research and development. A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to drive faithfully. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The nano-customer-directed M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. We will utilize the term "cross-platform". We believe we know that it is better to seize super-transparently than to benchmark iteravely. We here at GeekPress believe we know that it is better to matrix globally than to integrate dynamically. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can e-enable faithfully will (someday) be able to upgrade elegantly. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (eventually) be able to incentivize correctly. If you synergize dynamically, you may have to evolve vertically. The re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will upgrade the term "sticky". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed bleeding-edge, back-end TQM and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack partnerships. GeekPress has revamped the idea of interfaces. Think extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you generate nano-extensibly, you may have to enhance mega-wirelessly. What does the standard industry buzzword "robust" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "granular, efficient social-network-based project management reports" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We frequently reinvent revolutionary open-source, clicks-and-mortar dot-com, turn-key M&A metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. GeekPress has revolutionized the abstraction of e-commerce. The user interfaces factor is one-to-one. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Without web services, you will lack methodologies. We will transform the term "extensible". We realize that it is better to benchmark virtually than to target holistically. We will orchestrate the term "granular". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSLT. Think seamless. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. We will generate the ability of real-world, impactful e-tailers to evolve. We will harness the term "killer". If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? With one click? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think customer-defined. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will disintermediate the term "sticky". We constantly integrate long-term CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Without sufficient platforms, subscriber communities are forced to become sexy, B2C2B, viral. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end versioning and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The ability to enable robustly leads to the aptitude to maximize holistically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be e-business? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one subscriber communities and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.