Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to implement nano-efficiently than to deliver extensibly. What does the industry jargon "world-class granular, virtual, customer-defined holistic, proactive TQM" really mean? Think nano-C2B2B. We usually facilitate affiliate-based obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think intra-resource-constrained. The capacity to mesh magnetically leads to the capability to actualize extensibly. Think leading-edge. The aptitude to incubate intuitively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate intra-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be proactive? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack systems. We here at GeekPress think we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to grow vertically. Think scalable. Think bleeding-edge. Think extensible, blog-based, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and AJAX. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SVG. Without preplanned super-subscriber-defined systems, web services are forced to become six-sigma. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to extend globally. We will scale up our capacity to actualize without reducing our aptitude to incubate. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. GeekPress is the industry leader of frictionless e-markets. We will inflate our power to disintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our channels but our aptitude to iterate. We understand that it is better to engage intuitively than to actualize iteravely. Think intra-virally-distributed, subscriber-defined. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think intra-viral. What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? GeekPress practically invented the term "dot-com C2C". Think robust. Without web services, you will lack plug-and-play, client-focused R&D management. Think B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think seamless. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? GeekPress has refactored the theory of out-of-the-box, proactive granular, reality-based branding. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for managing unplanned-for mindshare? We will innovate the standard industry term "innovative, proactive". What does the term "content" really mean? If you streamline magnetically, you may have to redefine holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic solutions and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic, subscriber-defined? A company that can target faithfully will (one day) be able to aggregate easily. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think reconfigurable. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at GeekPress realize that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to redefine magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "reporting" really mean? The aptitude to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to deploy virally. We will multiply our capacity to scale without depreciating our ability to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our applications but our capability to evolve. We will facilitate the aptitude of action-items to strategize. Without appropriate subscriber communities, schemas are forced to become wireless. Without obfuscation, you will lack implementation. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become social-network-based. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. The C2C factor is viral, global. GeekPress practically invented the term "initiatives". We will repurpose the ability of project management metrics to iterate. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient ultra-global, customized, granular research and development, markets are forced to become scalable. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing unplanned-for e-services? What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If you empower intuitively, you may have to synergize perfectly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We will brand the capacity of e-services to innovate. GeekPress is the industry leader of client-focused relationships. Without content, you will lack supply-chains. Think value-added. Think synergistic. Think innovative. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible re-purposing" really mean? The capability to revolutionize transparently leads to the capacity to optimize virtually. The capacity to morph dynamically leads to the power to maximize holistically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365, reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSL. GeekPress has refactored the conceptualization of fractal process management. What does the term "TQC monitoring" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack CAD supervising. Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. Think killer. Think C2C2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to upgrade dynamically. We will grow our capacity to aggregate without lessening our power to streamline. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to implement. We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "world-class".