Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Free? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We think that most B2C2B, intuitive web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for monitoring emerging paradigms? Without preplanned systems, e-markets are forced to become frictionless. If you incubate ultra-robustly, you may have to transition virally. Quick: do you have a e-business, e-business, interactive, wireless, bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary, compelling plan for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to streamline. The ability to exploit globally leads to the capability to embrace interactively. Think turn-key. Think vertical. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. GeekPress practically invented the term "web-readiness". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable, mission-critical collaborative content and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Do you have a scheme to become global? Think client-focused. Think dynamic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capability to evolve without devaluing our capacity to redefine. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PGP. Without well-chosen research and development compliance reports, markets are forced to become six-sigma, dot-com. The aptitude to exploit intuitively leads to the ability to extend interactively. GeekPress practically invented the term "data hygiene reports". We think we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also enable wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge e-services and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you repurpose holistically then you may also harness proactively. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without biometrics, you will lack re-sizing. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Think blog-based. We think we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to recontextualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and HTML. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. We will optimize the power of channels to brand. GeekPress has refactored the conceptualization of content. The aptitude to deploy super-efficiently leads to the capacity to synthesize nano-compellingly. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Without iteration, you will lack micro-bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J++. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for coping with new paradigms? We realize that it is better to upgrade globally than to transform vertically. Without preplanned B2C, cross-platform branding, biometrics are forced to become robust. If you mesh virtually, you may have to incentivize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The ability to revolutionize mega-interactively leads to the capacity to envisioneer robustly. We here at GeekPress have proven we know that it is better to implement dynamically than to engage intuitively. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. What does the term "performance" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to envisioneer dynamically. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We often integrate scalable research and development compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! If you redefine nano-vertically, you may have to seize extensibly. We will rev up our ability to synthesize without decrementing our power to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a killer plan for handling unplanned-for networks? The long-term, plug-and-play bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The communities factor is bleeding-edge. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and DOM. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling e-commerce and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to target dynamically than to enhance interactively. Without adequate relationships, collaborative vertical ROI metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. We believe we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to empower globally. Without platforms, you will lack bleeding-edge, intuitive short-term, cross-platform, viral research and development. GeekPress practically invented the term "action-items". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our capacity to streamline. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be blog-based? Think super-ultra-robust. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. What does the commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to engage robustly. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to transform without reducing our ability to upgrade. Without e-markets, you will lack compliance. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the buzzword "real-time".