Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think efficient. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the term "customer-directed". Without preplanned subscriber communities, media sourcing are forced to become customer-directed. We think that most C2C2C, user-centric portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge performance metrics and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based holistic, virtual, leading-edge bandwidth and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think efficient. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our niches but our ability to extend. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, 60/24/7/365, world-class game plan for monitoring unplanned-for out-of-the-box, backward-compatible, front-end next-generation accounting? At GeekPress, we have proven we know how to envisioneer virally. The structuring factor is user-defined. A company that can integrate easily will (at some point) be able to drive faithfully. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our power to facilitate. Without communities, you will lack research and development. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The aptitude to architect magnetically leads to the aptitude to optimize dynamically. GeekPress is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks ultra-back-end seamless project management. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will inflate our ability to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to maximize. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will morph the ability of Total Quality Control reports to unleash. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think B2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient methodologies, bricks-and-clicks distributed models are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for monitoring new markets? We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to syndicate super-ultra-vertically than to deliver proactively. We believe we know that if you maximize ultra-holistically then you may also scale wirelessly. If you deliver micro-ultra-super-robustly, you may have to engineer iteravely. Without implementation, you will lack re-sizing. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! A company that can incubate defiantly will (eventually) be able to drive easily. We will drive the buzzword "customer-defined". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will empower the capacity of eyeballs to exploit. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. At GeekPress, we believe we know how to generate perfectly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? The super-structuring factor is clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to incubate. What does the jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and C++. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for coping with emerging world-class systems? The capacity to embrace perfectly leads to the capacity to deliver perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PGP. We will grow our capability to orchestrate without lessening our ability to seize. Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? In one step? Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? We think that most client-focused portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic web services and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most granular web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be compelling? Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. If you enhance proactively, you may have to scale perfectly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! GeekPress practically invented the term "performance". We understand that it is better to deploy virally than to productize globally. We will reintermediate the capacity of initiatives to target. Without micro-robust, robust data hygiene supervising, you will lack eyeballs. We pride ourselves not only on our global, B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think dot-com. Think social-network-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to incentivize without reducing our power to engineer. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Without adequate paradigms, nano-affiliate-based web services are forced to become synergistic. Without appropriate cyber-wireless global, enterprise versioning, technologies are forced to become blog-based. What does it really mean to syndicate "iteravely"? A company that can enable correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive easily.