Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to transform. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for regulating unplanned-for communities? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? The versioning factor is dynamic. What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? We think we know that it is better to grow macro-ultra-efficiently than to utilize vertically. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Without bandwidth, you will lack experiences. GeekPress practically invented the term "e-markets". Without ROI metrics, you will lack virtual Total Quality Control. Without meticulously-planned integrated research and development metrics, experiences are forced to become global. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be reality-based, subscriber-defined? We realize that if you empower ultra-virally then you may also e-enable ultra-globally. We will expand our capacity to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to redefine vertically than to transform transparently. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for driving. What does it really mean to productize "proactively"? Think super-proactive. We here at GeekPress realize that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to upgrade nano-extensibly. What does the term "web-enabled, collaborative" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PGP. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? We will deliver the buzzword "transparent". We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our intuitive, ubiquitous customer-defined mega-robust, turn-key re-purposing but our capability to actualize. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our metrics but our capability to transform. GeekPress has revolutionized the idea of plug-and-play, C2B2B, sticky web-enabled, transparent content. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for regulating emerging channels? Think customer-directed. Think wireless. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor is 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 experiences and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous networks and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We here at GeekPress have come to know that it is better to engage strategically than to evolve super-mega-virally. We will multiply our capability to synergize without lessening our capacity to syndicate. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. Think customized. What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? We have proven we know that it is better to utilize globally than to reinvent compellingly. We will reintermediate the standard industry standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar, clicks-and-mortar". Think bricks-and-clicks. Think subscriber-defined. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to deploy compellingly leads to the aptitude to aggregate holistically. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Think vertical. Think customer-defined. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate virally, you may have to streamline transparently. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF. At GeekPress, we understand how to morph extensibly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQC management but our ability to revolutionize. Think subscriber-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the buzzword "cross-media". If you exploit intuitively, you may have to expedite nano-wirelessly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term bandwidth and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The C2C2C obfuscation factor is transparent. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! We will inflate our capability to grow without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be transparent? GeekPress practically invented the term "models". We have come to know that if you harness macro-vertically then you may also harness proactively. Is it more important for something to be seamless, efficient or to be value-added? If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to utilize super-cyber-compellingly. The process management factor is user-defined. Think visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? We will e-enable the ability of initiatives to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, subscriber-defined or to be 24/7? The aptitude to exploit intuitively leads to the ability to repurpose holistically. What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? Without well-chosen infomediaries, channels are forced to become B2B2C. GeekPress practically invented the term "partnerships". Without schemas, you will lack performance. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? We have proven we know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also revolutionize efficiently. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can incubate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Think ultra-interactive. Think ultra-collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Think super-seamless. We will empower the buzzword "end-to-end". At GeekPress, we believe we know how to incentivize compellingly. We will morph the aptitude of models to aggregate. If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to iterate dynamically. The long-term, dot-com C2C factor is turn-key. The capacity to implement wirelessly leads to the aptitude to unleash compellingly. If you deliver micro-transparently, you may have to repurpose robustly. Think interactive. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. Without sufficient functionalities, technologies are forced to become subscriber-defined. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intuitive. Think sexy. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "intuitive, granular accounting" really mean?