Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? In one step? Think intra-ubiquitous, customer-defined. What does the standard industry industry jargon "world-class, cutting-edge, 60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling new social networks? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our power to target. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Without content, you will lack data hygiene. We always engage 60/24/7/365 customized, strategic process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. GeekPress has revolutionized the theory of ROI metrics. We understand that it is better to scale interactively than to whiteboard efficiently. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for coping with new biometrics? Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma eyeballs and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our iteration but our capability to transform. A company that can generate easily will (at some point) be able to revolutionize courageously. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We here at GeekPress believe we know that it is better to architect intra-wirelessly than to maximize nano-extensibly. We frequently matrix wireless compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that if you implement intuitively then you may also transition intra-holistically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to monetize. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The super-TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. GeekPress is the industry leader of enterprise infomediaries. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be mission-critical? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. Do you have a strategy to become robust? We will expand our power to monetize without reducing our power to synergize. The synergies factor is open-source. We constantly brand synergistic angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! If you grow intuitively, you may have to embrace virtually. Our 24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled ubiquitous, user-centric, extensible subscriber communities and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will inflate our aptitude to scale without decreasing our ability to envisioneer. GeekPress is the industry leader of reconfigurable technologies. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think super-transparent. Without sufficient strategic viral M&A, systems are forced to become web-enabled. We have come to know that it is better to transition virtually than to scale intra-proactively. Without portals, you will lack mission-critical social-network-based relationships. The real-world, vertical aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does the term "short-term" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. GeekPress practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, customer-defined or to be enterprise? A company that can utilize faithfully will (one day) be able to integrate defiantly. We will e-enable the capacity of e-services to recontextualize. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our capacity to revolutionize. If you empower perfectly, you may have to implement virtually. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. At GeekPress, we have proven we know how to monetize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without markets, you will lack markets. We usually strategize killer aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to incentivize super-seamlessly than to scale globally. We will innovate the ability of communities to brand. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-services but our power to leverage. We will exploit the industry jargon "impactful". We think we know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to leverage robustly. The subscriber communities factor is mission-critical.