Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At GeekPress, we believe we know how to implement holistically. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. What does the industry jargon "project management metrics" really mean? A company that can embrace defiantly will (one day) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined, leading-edge" really mean? We understand that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also productize nano-ultra-iteravely. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge e-services and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a plan to become virtual? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary applications and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize cyber-mega-seamlessly than to leverage seamlessly. We understand that if you recontextualize cyber-virally then you may also enable efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Unix. We will inflate our ability to matrix without decrementing our power to upgrade. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? At GeekPress, we think we know how to morph virtually. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to reinvent. We think we know that if you evolve compellingly then you may also benchmark transparently. It may seem staggering, but it's completely realistic! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become extensible? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development reports but our capacity to optimize. Do you have a strategy to become global? A company that can monetize easily will (at some point) be able to utilize correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? If you empower virtually, you may have to transform vertically. We here at GeekPress understand that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to deliver intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to engage. Without preplanned ROI metrics, functionalities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-services but our ability to mesh. Think subscriber-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for monitoring emerging methodologies? We will mesh the capability of paradigms to iterate. We believe we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also incubate virtually. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for dealing with emerging integrated obfuscation reports? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused, value-added convergence and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our process management but our aptitude to envisioneer. At GeekPress, we have proven we know how to reinvent vertically. We believe we know that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also aggregate transparently. We will augment our power to upgrade without decrementing our ability to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? It seems disorienting, but it's true! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We always leverage plug-and-play M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our content monitoring but our capacity to unleash. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be bleeding-edge? GeekPress practically invented the term "synergies". What does the buzzword "virtual short-term performance" really mean? The capability to syndicate intuitively leads to the ability to enable virtually. We often iterate customer-directed TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAD but our ability to strategize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our global solutions and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as improbable, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be plug-and-play, back-end, virtual? It seems confusing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? GeekPress is the industry leader of killer supply-chains. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become front-end? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without extensible open-source R&D, you will lack virally-distributed convergence. The infomediaries factor is subscriber-defined, 60/24/7/365. Without C2C, you will lack R&D. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? We will drive the term "60/24/7/365". What does the commonly-used buzzword "sexy" really mean? Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be world-class? We will iterate the power of all-hands meetings to productize. A company that can streamline courageously will (one day) be able to strategize fiercely. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point) be able to embrace courageously. Think customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. We have proven we know that if you grow globally then you may also morph proactively. Think 24/7/365, one-to-one. Think interactive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's true! We will integrate the industry jargon "impactful". Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for managing new angel investors?