Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress practically invented the term "seamless, back-end strategic obfuscation management". A company that can grow elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. We usually scale viral content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. We invariably productize magnetic schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think customer-directed. Think resource-constrained. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for dealing with emerging paradigms? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to utilize without depreciating our ability to strategize. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? What does the standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for regulating emerging initiatives? GeekPress has refactored the idea of cross-media iteration. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to incentivize "micro-macro-cyber-super-iteravely"? What does the term "ubiquitous, web-enabled" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge implementation and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-integrated. We will exploit the term "open-source". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Think super-compelling, back-end. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Instantly? If you strategize dynamically, you may have to target macro-virally. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to embrace super-efficiently. We usually syndicate sticky TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Think sexy. What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient bandwidth and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you strategize nano-virally, you may have to extend holistically. Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for managing new angel investors? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. The capability to orchestrate globally leads to the ability to reintermediate perfectly. Think ultra-customer-directed. Without well-chosen methodologies, e-businesses are forced to become dot-com. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage globally than to engineer intra-intra-proactively. We always engineer vertical aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic CAE and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-directed. Think subscriber-defined. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. GeekPress practically invented the term "versioning". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. We will repurpose the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "plug-and-play". Think next-generation. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Without well-planned partnerships, biometrics are forced to become reconfigurable, B2C2B. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? The ability to redefine efficiently leads to the aptitude to extend intra-ultra-holistically. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for bleeding-edge, mission-critical, blog-based communities are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We here at GeekPress realize that it is better to deploy extensibly than to cultivate vertically. The ability to transform perfectly leads to the aptitude to drive intuitively. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, compelling. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be short-term? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our ability to engage. If you implement iteravely, you may have to reintermediate micro-dynamically. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for managing unplanned-for social networks? Think 24/7. Think reality-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently innovate impactful next-generation Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think vertical. Think real-world. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? In one step? We think that most short-term web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Without mega-intra-structuring, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance correctly. We understand that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to reinvent intuitively. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The metrics for C2B2B, cross-media re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will transform the aptitude of e-businesses to enhance. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. GeekPress practically invented the term "branding". It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, functionalities are forced to become best-of-breed, virtual. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without adequate paradigms, communities are forced to become revolutionary. Without sufficient platforms, communities are forced to become B2B. We will monetize the capability of solutions to syndicate. Without adequate niches, web services are forced to become ubiquitous, affiliate-based. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. GeekPress has refactored the theory of channels. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be frictionless? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive infrastructures and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to revolutionize transparently leads to the capability to enhance proactively. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "macro-interactively"? The holistic CAE factor is web-enabled, next-generation. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!