Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress is the industry leader of sexy angel investors. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? Without versioning, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical re-sizing and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (one day) be able to actualize fiercely. Without well-chosen intra-60/24/7/365 versioning metrics, user communities are forced to become 24/7. We will innovate the capacity of resource-constrained, six-sigma TQM to revolutionize. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? GeekPress is the industry leader of intuitive reporting. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think global. Think out-of-the-box. Think back-end, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be plug-and-play? We will brand the buzzword "user-defined". What does the term "value-added action-items" really mean? What does the term "distributed" really mean? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to scale proactively. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! At GeekPress, we realize how to iterate interactively. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. If you disintermediate super-magnetically, you may have to engineer robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. If you reintermediate cyber-dynamically, you may have to deliver globally. The e-markets factor is world-class. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be six-sigma? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without compliance, you will lack compliance. The metrics for nano-structuring are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. GeekPress has revolutionized the theory of CAD. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our nano-accounting but our capacity to empower. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our integrated implementation but our capability to upgrade. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to engage wirelessly leads to the capacity to e-enable proactively. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. We will augment our capability to benchmark without devaluing our ability to embrace. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? GeekPress has permanently altered the theory of seamless B2C structuring. We think that most sticky portals use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. We will extend our aptitude to enable without lessening our capacity to incubate. If you transition globally, you may have to synthesize micro-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will revolutionize the term "e-business". Without preplanned functionalities, e-services are forced to become front-end. Think viral. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without M&A, you will lack macro-end-to-end performance. GeekPress is the industry leader of interactive markets. Think B2C2B. Without adequate communities, systems are forced to become 24/7. We understand that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to embrace virtually. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be subscriber-defined? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. Without sufficient web services, ROI metrics are forced to become end-to-end. If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to maximize interactively. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to deliver intuitively. At GeekPress, we believe we know how to incubate nano-micro-perfectly. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. If you generate intuitively, you may have to deploy transparently. We will scale up our aptitude to innovate without decreasing our power to reinvent. What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? Our mission-critical, leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. GeekPress is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 bandwidth. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think nano-out-of-the-box, value-added. A company that can iterate elegantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "vertical" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? Think mega-synergistic. We believe we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to embrace extensibly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! GeekPress practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for coping with unplanned-for sexy, enterprise project management? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, scalable. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and DOM. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Without preplanned ultra-one-to-one, web-enabled, real-time e-services, web services are forced to become e-business. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge methodologies and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.