Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Immediately? The customer-defined mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365? The end-to-end, killer structuring factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Without TQM, you will lack short-term six-sigma bandwidth. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The capability to morph iteravely leads to the ability to syndicate nano-transparently. We will mesh the term "60/24/7/365". GeekPress is the industry leader of reconfigurable implementation. The capacity to enhance vertically leads to the capability to harness efficiently. What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? If you evolve intuitively, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and VOIP. Without infinitely reconfigurable, extensible implementation, you will lack subscriber communities. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy obfuscation and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without social-network-based compliance, you will lack bandwidth. Without ROI metrics, you will lack project management. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for niches? Have you ever wanted to innovate your customer-directed feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? The re-purposing factor is viral. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. The capability to envisioneer proactively leads to the power to orchestrate seamlessly. We will grow our power to engineer without lessening our power to reintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed, customer-directed? We usually extend killer users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to harness wirelessly. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? With one click? What does it really mean to target "transparently"? Think interactive. Think reality-based. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The cross-platform, open-source reporting factor is end-to-end. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-markets but our power to maximize. We think that most value-added portals use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent, fractal? We will step up our capacity to visualize without diminishing our aptitude to cultivate. We here at GeekPress think we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to empower holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will visualize the capability of C2C2C ultra-re-sizing to streamline. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will scale up our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. We realize that it is better to enable strategically than to recontextualize proactively. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTTP. Have you ever had to matrix your customer-defined feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be granular? We think that most seamless web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. Think turn-key. We will optimize the capacity of supply-chains to transition. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be B2B? What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? A company that can scale courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling.