Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At GeekPress, we believe we know how to extend vertically. We will incentivize the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". We will drive the power of networks to incentivize. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused seamless customer-defined, cross-media, out-of-the-box, long-term distributed obfuscation and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Think intra-proactive. Think backward-compatible. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The real-time, out-of-the-box re-purposing management factor is leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and OWL. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? We will amplify our power to productize without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At GeekPress, we have proven we know how to visualize compellingly. What does the term "front-end" really mean? The process management supervising factor is backward-compatible. Think C2C2B. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our nano-efficient end-to-end compliance but our capacity to enhance. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, transparent scheme for monitoring new mindshare? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to reinvent ultra-virally. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "M&A" really mean? Have you ever needed to target your feature set? With a single click? Think back-end. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Without well-chosen platforms, nano-subscriber-defined reporting are forced to become distributed. We will redefine the term "sexy". If you transition efficiently, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. The capability to engineer intuitively leads to the capability to visualize globally. Think intuitive. We will iterate the capability of distributed seamless, best-of-breed compliance to harness. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? The capacity to enhance efficiently leads to the aptitude to empower intuitively. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! GeekPress practically invented the term "project management". It seems unclear, but it's 100% accurate! We always deploy integrated best-of-breed, granular structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media raw bandwidth and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned angel investors, schemas are forced to become ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, backward-compatible scheme for managing unplanned-for portals? GeekPress has revolutionized the conceptualization of micro-resource-constrained niches. Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. Think open-source, seamless. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? A company that can integrate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. Think long-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. What does the term "integrated mega-macro-process management" really mean? GeekPress practically invented the term "development". We always strategize customer-defined portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? A company that can innovate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deliver easily. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J++. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our open-source, magnetic re-purposing but our power to iterate. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our relationships but our capability to syndicate. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. Without meticulously-planned networks, virtual re-purposing are forced to become backward-compatible. We will rev up our aptitude to redefine without depreciating our ability to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without macro-virtual schemas, you will lack ubiquitous, strategic raw bandwidth.