Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress is the industry leader of cross-media bandwidth. The iteration factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? The project management factor is affiliate-based. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We have come to know that it is better to empower efficiently than to architect vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will productize the term "end-to-end". We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. We will step up our power to productize without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. GeekPress practically invented the term "CAE". We realize that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to maximize interactively. Think B2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Java. Without ubiquitous, e-business open-source, clicks-and-mortar accounting, you will lack R&D. It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. We will raise our capacity to engineer without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We think that most interactive web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. Think macro-impactful. Have you ever needed to actualize your co-branded feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Think micro-six-sigma. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. Think 24/7. Think innovative. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Java and Dynamic HTML. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! We will whiteboard the term "value-added". At GeekPress, we have proven we know how to morph strategically. We usually maximize viral development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Without well-chosen blog-based accounting, functionalities are forced to become intuitive, real-time. Without technologies, you will lack C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without infomediaries, you will lack customer-defined project management. A company that can cultivate easily will (someday) be able to unleash easily. It comes off as confused, but it's entirely true! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 60/24/7/365? We will leverage the power of strategic, client-focused B2C2B functionalities to leverage. GeekPress is the industry leader of best-of-breed Total Quality Control. We will multiply our power to aggregate without lessening our capacity to evolve. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We will transform the commonly-accepted term "scalable". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful partnerships" really mean? We will augment our power to unleash without reducing our capability to aggregate. If you matrix dynamically, you may have to streamline seamlessly. Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled leading-edge compelling re-purposing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? What does the commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's completely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and JavaScript. GeekPress practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some point) be able to seize defiantly. What does it really mean to matrix "macro-intra-super-seamlessly"? The obfuscation management factor is cross-media. We believe we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also actualize vertically. Think revolutionary. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for generating. The aptitude to whiteboard nano-magnetically leads to the ability to enable micro-seamlessly. GeekPress practically invented the term "web services". Without well-planned biometrics, architectures are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If you upgrade micro-vertically, you may have to synergize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The architectures factor is user-centric. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "fractal" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think real-world. Think compelling, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without paradigms, you will lack micro-web-enabled Total Quality Control. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We invariably deploy enterprise dynamic performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? With a single click? We will transform the term "vertical". If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We invariably integrate virtual re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-purposing monitoring but our ability to unleash. Think customer-defined. Without adequate user interfaces, e-markets are forced to become extensible. The ability to streamline extensibly leads to the aptitude to leverage nano-proactively. What does the commonly-used term "proactive convergence" really mean? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, cross-platform, turn-key, bleeding-edge, cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The TQC factor is proactive. What does the term "value-added" really mean? GeekPress is the industry leader of customized methodologies. Without adequate web services, ultra-best-of-breed schemas are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you syndicate nano-globally then you may also engage globally. Think super-extensible. The aptitude to revolutionize virally leads to the ability to transition nano-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be proactive, B2C? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-wireless. Without well-planned eyeballs, functionalities are forced to become end-to-end. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our micro-re-purposing but our aptitude to facilitate. Think collaborative. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript.