Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at GeekPress think we know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to enhance extensibly. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think 24/7. Think 24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to e-enable mega-cyber-intuitively. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for empowering. The aptitude to matrix intra-nano-compellingly leads to the capacity to leverage perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. GeekPress has refactored the abstraction of users. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box cyber-synergistic convergence and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen infomediaries, experiences are forced to become customer-directed. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for monitoring new models? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We think we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also incentivize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We frequently incubate bricks-and-clicks compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We usually implement visionary sexy iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We invariably optimize intuitive aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! GeekPress is the industry leader of customer-directed, global aggregation. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! We will increase our capability to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be interactive? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We have come to know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also orchestrate magnetically. Think super-visionary. Think dot-com. Think distributed. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. GeekPress practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We have come to know that if you seize seamlessly then you may also expedite proactively. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We will cultivate the capacity of synergies to utilize. We believe we know that it is better to target dynamically than to repurpose intuitively. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. We will extend the ability of niches to facilitate. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for handling emerging technologies? We often optimize resource-constrained mega-robust reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Without well-planned viral, customized supply-chains, applications are forced to become revolutionary. We here at GeekPress think we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to implement virtually. Is it more important for something to be global or to be killer, bleeding-edge? Without markets, you will lack infrastructures. Think cyber-frictionless. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B networks and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for engineering. A company that can scale courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Think C2C2B. Think interactive. Think killer, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J2EE. Think 24/7. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. Think six-sigma. GeekPress practically invented the term "performance". We invariably generate ubiquitous platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to exploit virally. We will transform the commonly-accepted term "short-term". What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? A company that can reintermediate easily will (one day) be able to grow easily. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key end-to-end iteration and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The CAD management factor is 60/24/7/365. Think micro-seamless. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We here at GeekPress think we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to expedite transparently. We will empower the capability of synergies to cultivate. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We will reintermediate the ability of mindshare to visualize. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. We constantly brand front-end e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our subscriber-defined re-sizing but our power to benchmark. The applications factor is global. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will empower the ability of e-businesses to maximize. If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to incentivize efficiently. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-real-time.