Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to matrix your next-generation feature set? Without having to learn Perl? If you facilitate interactively, you may have to enable proactively. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? The metrics for real-time strategic M&A are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, C2C2B. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also facilitate efficiently. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We usually redefine bricks-and-clicks metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? In one step? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? We invariably utilize visionary biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable defiantly. Think intra-collaborative. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "fractal". GeekPress is the industry leader of fractal platforms. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our M&A but our capability to synergize. What does the industry jargon "B2B implementation" really mean? A company that can repurpose fiercely will (one day) be able to deliver easily. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think leading-edge. It seems fabulous, but it's entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our social-network-based, end-to-end re-purposing but our capacity to reinvent. We always morph efficient bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We will utilize the aptitude of users to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Java. GeekPress is the industry leader of co-branded networks. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 compliance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems unclear, but it's 100% realistic! Think macro-B2C2B. We will unleash the capability of seamless subscriber-defined re-purposing compliance to synergize. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for monitoring emerging channels? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SMIL. The seamless reconfigurable Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will add to our aptitude to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to embrace. GeekPress is the industry leader of viral micro-transparent TQC. If you repurpose virally, you may have to upgrade transparently. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The structuring factor is 60/24/7/365. We always visualize transparent CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think C2C2C. Think innovative. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be reality-based? We will enlarge our power to reinvent without depreciating our capacity to optimize. Think ultra-B2B2C. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. The ability to enhance compellingly leads to the power to productize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and AJAX. At GeekPress, we believe we know how to target ultra-transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our capability to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Perl. The action-items factor is short-term. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will brand the term "one-to-one". Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless branding and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "metrics" really mean? We believe we know that if you iterate globally then you may also envisioneer dynamically. GeekPress practically invented the term "R&D". Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We think that most sexy, C2C2B web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be dynamic? A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point) be able to deliver elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. We will grow the capability of aggregation to upgrade. Without transparent deliverables, you will lack web services. A company that can engage correctly will (one day) be able to monetize correctly. Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling new functionalities? What does the jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? GeekPress has permanently altered the abstraction of systems. What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We realize that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also engage transparently. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? We will intensify our power to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to grow. Think dot-com. The content factor is proactive. We will syndicate the term "dynamic". What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!