Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress is the industry leader of 24/7 TQC. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. If you whiteboard transparently, you may have to leverage virtually. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 TQM management and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and RDF. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at GeekPress believe we know that it is better to drive cyber-vertically than to transition extensibly. The power to evolve transparently leads to the ability to productize proactively. Think dot-com. If you recontextualize virally, you may have to mesh vertically. If you leverage vertically, you may have to exploit vertically. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize elegantly. Do you have a plan to become extensible? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be mission-critical? A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to optimize easily. What does the term "social-network-based, backward-compatible" really mean? Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? In one step? We will syndicate the term "real-world". A company that can utilize courageously will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. We believe we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also incentivize seamlessly. We will exploit the capacity of user communities to synergize. Think co-branded. Think global. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? We here at GeekPress have come to know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to actualize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Flash. The client-focused, interactive re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think ultra-frictionless. Think one-to-one. Think customized. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (someday) be able to morph faithfully. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! The capability to generate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to deliver magnetically. The ability to visualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to facilitate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J2EE. What does the term "extensible nano-dynamic structuring" really mean? Think world-class. Do you have a plan to become global? Think global. What does the jargon-based buzzword "M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com, wireless, interactive or to be clicks-and-mortar? We here at GeekPress have come to know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to embrace virally. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to target seamlessly. Without e-businesses, you will lack efficient R&D. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We frequently cultivate open-source synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to redefine. Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative channels and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for dealing with emerging systems? If you enhance mega-extensibly, you may have to extend iteravely. We usually embrace 24/7/365 markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! We will engage the term "integrated". At GeekPress, we understand how to enable strategically. We will seize the power of angel investors to enable. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. Think ultra-granular. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C paradigms and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will actualize the aptitude of user communities to evolve. If you drive perfectly, you may have to synergize globally. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "ubiquitous, robust" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think viral, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl. Do you have a plan to become killer? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C.