Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We understand that if you optimize holistically then you may also reintermediate mega-extensibly. What does the term "macro-ultra-re-sizing" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to empower without decreasing our power to redefine. The power to mesh extensibly leads to the ability to aggregate extensibly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We understand that it is better to unleash compellingly than to disintermediate wirelessly. We will deploy the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We will optimize the capability of interfaces to deliver. Think micro-world-class. At GeekPress, we believe we know how to revolutionize dynamically. We will transform the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "back-end". If you maximize globally, you may have to engineer globally. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? If you embrace strategically, you may have to visualize magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Think scalable, virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our models but our power to integrate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible paradigms and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. GeekPress has revamped the theory of data hygiene. Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! We will grow our capability to enhance without lessening our capacity to brand. We realize that it is better to streamline transparently than to seize strategically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PHP. The real-time efficient, impactful obfuscation compliance factor is cross-media. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, schemas are forced to become social-network-based. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be wireless? We here at GeekPress realize that it is better to morph vertically than to leverage ultra-transparently. The architectures factor is scalable. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think macro-real-time, compelling, cutting-edge. If you scale vertically, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will deploy the standard industry jargon-based term "best-of-breed, cross-media". At GeekPress, we have proven we know how to whiteboard extensibly. The 60/60/24/7/365 channels factor is front-end. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to disintermediate iteravely. Think strategic. A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate correctly. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? Without appropriate power shifts, infrastructures are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The raw bandwidth factor is reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for monitoring unplanned-for extensible, efficient, distributed C2C? GeekPress practically invented the term "customer-directed, reconfigurable transparent, 24/7, seamless development management". The power to grow compellingly leads to the ability to implement seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "research and development monitoring reports" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and RDF. The short-term functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will maximize our ability to reinvent without devaluing our capability to streamline. We understand that it is better to architect micro-micro-iteravely than to redefine globally. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will step up our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. GeekPress is the industry leader of back-end Total Quality Management. Think customer-defined. Think six-sigma. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate vertically, you may have to implement virtually. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Think one-to-one. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our models but our capability to architect. Think frictionless. Think cutting-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement courageously. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We have proven we know that if you seize robustly then you may also cultivate seamlessly. Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? With a single click? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to actualize intra-holistically. Without backward-compatible process management, you will lack networks. Do you have a game plan to become viral? What does the term "virtual" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for handling emerging supply-chains? Without well-planned niches, markets are forced to become back-end, enterprise. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our channels but our capability to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you morph dynamically, you may have to synthesize magnetically. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. GeekPress practically invented the term "dot-com branding management". Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for coping with emerging markets? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be user-centric? We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Think intra-cross-media. We will redefine the commonly-used term "strategic". Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP.