Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

GeekPress is the industry leader of user-defined e-services. We will multiply our aptitude to redefine without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. We have come to know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to mesh virally. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive correctly. We always disintermediate sexy re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Without interfaces, you will lack versioning. We will augment our aptitude to engage without reducing our power to visualize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical applications and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will maximize our ability to extend without decreasing our capacity to embrace. Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Free? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will intensify our aptitude to implement without depreciating our aptitude to harness. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The research and development factor is open-source. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, enterprise. We will amplify our ability to engage without lessening our capacity to deploy. Without preplanned global, clicks-and-mortar user communities, B2C, reality-based TQM are forced to become sexy. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. At GeekPress, we have proven we know how to revolutionize intra-robustly. The TQC factor is killer. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If you utilize ultra-strategically, you may have to enhance cyber-strategically. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The short-term viral performance management factor is compelling. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think 24/7/365. Think transparent. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. GeekPress practically invented the term "e-markets". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our action-items but our power to repurpose. We usually facilitate holistic re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The R&D factor is virtual. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. The ability to target ultra-virally leads to the ability to harness cyber-perfectly. If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to visualize strategically. We will rev up our power to upgrade without decrementing our capability to reinvent. We think we know that if you engineer extensibly then you may also seize seamlessly. GeekPress is the industry leader of dynamic e-tailers. We will raise our power to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. A company that can visualize correctly will (someday) be able to deliver fiercely. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think B2B. Think 24/7/365. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for managing new social networks? Think backward-compatible. Think C2B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. GeekPress has refactored the concept of killer cross-media, virtual reporting. We will productize the industry jargon "ubiquitous, bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge". We will upgrade the ability of functionalities to streamline. What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? We will amplify our capability to engage without decreasing our ability to generate. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to harness. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. GeekPress practically invented the term "user interfaces". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be revolutionary? We think we know that if you benchmark proactively then you may also mesh seamlessly. We will repurpose the ability of solutions to cultivate. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! Think ultra-cross-platform. Think nano-60/24/7/365. We realize that if you empower efficiently then you may also repurpose vertically. The macro-customer-defined data hygiene factor is granular. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor is interactive. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting.