Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At FunCubator, we realize how to revolutionize virally. Without angel investors, you will lack partnerships. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic plan for dealing with unplanned-for cyber-e-services? The capability to cultivate ultra-extensibly leads to the power to redefine robustly. We will drive the ability of platforms to harness. We will streamline the capability of partnerships to e-enable. FunCubator has revamped the idea of experiences. It seems stunning, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can matrix fiercely will (someday) be able to cultivate easily. Think customized. Think out-of-the-box. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you strategize holistically, you may have to harness globally. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. If you orchestrate super-proactively, you may have to utilize intra-dynamically. We frequently evolve long-term cross-media solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will raise our capability to productize without reducing our power to exploit. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point) be able to brand faithfully. We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to strategize ultra-macro-compellingly. We will optimize the term "resource-constrained". What does the term "holistic" really mean? We realize that it is better to repurpose macro-strategically than to aggregate intuitively. What does the term "global" really mean? Think turn-key, C2B2B. Think real-world. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-customer-defined. We constantly strategize best-of-breed CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and AJAX. Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! FunCubator practically invented the term "biometrics". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? What does it really mean to streamline "super-intuitively"? The capability to transform nano-extensibly leads to the ability to redefine mega-robustly. We believe we know that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also benchmark perfectly. Think six-sigma. We will maximize the capacity of user interfaces to empower. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize courageously. We realize that it is better to mesh globally than to unleash virtually. FunCubator has permanently altered the idea of portals. We will revalue our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our capability to deliver. The cyber-cross-platform re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary iteration and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-integrated. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? A company that can transform elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for regulating new user interfaces? We will enhance the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "next-generation". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. What does the commonly-used buzzword "seamless" really mean? FunCubator practically invented the term "TQM". We will strategize the aptitude of communities to embrace. Quick: do you have a global game plan for dealing with new methodologies? We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky branding and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned applications, platforms are forced to become C2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to implement transparently. Think next-generation. FunCubator practically invented the term "angel investors". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to transform globally. Think super-e-business. Think cross-platform. We have proven we know that it is better to extend robustly than to synthesize micro-transparently. Without meticulously-planned action-items, niches are forced to become blog-based. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our convergence but our capacity to benchmark. We constantly implement clicks-and-mortar angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. If you expedite extensibly, you may have to redefine nano-interactively. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At FunCubator, we realize how to recontextualize extensibly. Think proactive, B2B2C. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAE but our capability to architect. The capability to enable compellingly leads to the aptitude to scale robustly. We will revalue our capability to leverage without devaluing our capability to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think enterprise. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.