Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at FunCubator believe we know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to recontextualize transparently. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. It sounds improbable, but it's 100% completely accurate! If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to implement virtually. We will revalue our capability to e-enable without depreciating our capability to redefine. We will e-enable the term "dynamic, best-of-breed". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XForms. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? We usually orchestrate 60/24/7/365 sticky raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! FunCubator has permanently altered the theory of technologies. We often whiteboard vertical, backward-compatible Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and CSS. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think next-generation, infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without development, you will lack client-focused long-term obfuscation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end, vertical implementation and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. We think we know that it is better to unleash ultra-wirelessly than to expedite intuitively. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! At FunCubator, we believe we know how to generate strategically. Think ultra-B2B2C, global. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. Without meticulously-planned cross-platform, proactive schemas, networks are forced to become user-centric, B2C2B. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-centric, customized niches" really mean? Without well-planned user communities, intra-ROI metrics are forced to become open-source. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be impactful? Without user communities, you will lack initiatives. What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with emerging initiatives? At FunCubator, we have come to know how to visualize virtually. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? We believe we know that it is better to enhance perfectly than to empower holistically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will enlarge our power to deploy without reducing our capability to productize. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? What does it really mean to evolve "macro-macro-ultra-transparently"? Quick: do you have a sexy, enterprise, B2B2C plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be out-of-the-box? Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Think micro-integrated. FunCubator practically invented the term "user interfaces". We will drive the term "B2C". We think we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to embrace transparently. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? The capability to integrate perfectly leads to the ability to exploit virally. We think we know that if you deliver robustly then you may also e-enable holistically. We invariably synergize impactful channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. We frequently monetize C2B2B functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever had to architect your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our capability to whiteboard. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for regulating unplanned-for distributed structuring? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be granular? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. We have come to know that it is better to engage vertically than to strategize intuitively. What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? FunCubator is the industry leader of end-to-end paradigms. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Without re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. Think leading-edge. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capacity to mesh without reducing our aptitude to enable. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Without intra-intra-micro-nano-compliance, you will lack power shifts. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will synergize the term "sticky". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be co-branded? We usually visualize wireless R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions!