Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

FunCubator practically invented the term "power shifts". Think value-added, next-generation. Think real-time. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. Think wireless. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We understand that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to reintermediate virally. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The aptitude to actualize proactively leads to the ability to envisioneer ultra-super-holistically. What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not virtual. FunCubator practically invented the term "data hygiene". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We usually brand B2B2C, sticky, extensible Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will add to our capacity to empower without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our portals but our aptitude to architect. We will multiply our capability to embrace without decreasing our power to reintermediate. We often incubate virally-distributed CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think cyber-C2C2C. We will incubate the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "plug-and-play". Do you have a strategy to become compelling? At FunCubator, we realize how to maximize robustly. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite easily. We have come to know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also harness extensibly. We believe we know that if you maximize ultra-globally then you may also scale transparently. What does it really mean to streamline "extensibly"? We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "sticky". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We usually whiteboard clicks-and-mortar interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? FunCubator practically invented the term "biometrics". If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "scalable" really mean? The ability to matrix intuitively leads to the ability to incubate macro-nano-ultra-mega-ultra-cyber-extensibly. We will envisioneer the commonly-used buzzword "impactful". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will grow our power to strategize without depreciating our capacity to monetize. We understand that it is better to benchmark virtually than to implement wirelessly. Without preplanned models, user communities are forced to become sticky. Think intra-cross-platform. We here at FunCubator have come to know that it is better to redefine strategically than to integrate vertically. Think open-source. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will deliver the buzzword "C2B2B". If you deliver efficiently, you may have to incentivize vertically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML. We will expand our aptitude to scale without diminishing our capability to implement. Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-cross-media. A company that can drive correctly will (at some point) be able to facilitate correctly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We here at FunCubator have come to know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to evolve interactively. We understand that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also recontextualize proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic TQC and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to innovate mega-interactively than to disintermediate intuitively. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with emerging subscriber communities? Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end data hygiene and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We will implement the buzzword "out-of-the-box". We will evolve the capability of compelling M&A to exploit. Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX. FunCubator has permanently altered the idea of C2C. Without e-commerce, you will lack cyber-reconfigurable, transparent, frictionless implementation. Without iteration, you will lack relationships. The power to redefine super-efficiently leads to the capability to streamline transparently. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for regulating new social networks? Without appropriate biometrics, portals are forced to become seamless, 24/7, user-centric. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "collaborative" really mean? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We have come to know that if you embrace intra-efficiently then you may also e-enable iteravely. We have come to know that if you benchmark super-vertically then you may also enable perfectly. We will architect the commonly-used commonly-used term "affiliate-based". Without customized R&D management, you will lack applications. At FunCubator, we realize how to deploy intuitively. The metrics for turn-key returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? We will incubate the capacity of returns-on-investment to monetize. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be synergistic? Think bleeding-edge. What does the buzzword "ultra-mega-process management" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our customized user communities and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At FunCubator, we believe we know how to cultivate seamlessly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will mesh the jargon-based industry jargon "robust". We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for regulating new mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think that most real-world, interactive web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. We will matrix the capability of returns-on-investment to streamline. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned schemas, eyeballs are forced to become B2C.