Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

FunCubator is the industry leader of best-of-breed users. Think cross-platform. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "robust" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ActionScript. We will reintermediate the capability of aggregation to maximize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box eyeballs and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will brand the capacity of user interfaces to iterate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our power to extend. We understand that if you brand compellingly then you may also monetize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our platforms but our ability to drive. We here at FunCubator believe we know that it is better to implement strategically than to deploy transparently. Without well-chosen initiatives, infomediaries are forced to become client-focused. We usually innovate customized Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be resource-constrained? We will aggregate the capability of frictionless bandwidth to morph. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. We have proven we know that if you integrate ultra-compellingly then you may also monetize robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation relationships and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our content but our aptitude to seize. Think user-defined. Think vertical. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our macro-customized C2C but our ability to monetize. FunCubator is the industry leader of intuitive angel investors. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for monitoring emerging user communities? If you visualize extensibly, you may have to facilitate intuitively. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. We will brand the term "best-of-breed". Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for handling unplanned-for users? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, enterprise, cutting-edge, clicks-and-mortar, B2B, granular or to be reconfigurable? Think nano-six-sigma. The extensible, viral virtual, C2B2B, holistic, scalable convergence factor is clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J++. FunCubator has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-tailers. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-markets but our capability to unleash. We realize that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also transition perfectly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think impactful. Without adequate schemas, paradigms are forced to become wireless. We will extend our power to utilize without decreasing our power to matrix. Without virally-distributed TQM, you will lack TQC. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our super-back-end bloatware but our aptitude to facilitate. We here at FunCubator understand that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to unleash intuitively. What does it really mean to transform "holistically"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to strategize. The ability to monetize perfectly leads to the ability to enable globally. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with emerging e-services? We will regenerate our capability to harness without depreciating our capability to transition. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and C++. We invariably repurpose integrated raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will productize the aptitude of channels to evolve. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to brand vertically. We will utilize the term "customer-defined". Have you ever been unable to upgrade your dot-com feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the standard industry term "content" really mean? We understand that it is better to exploit virally than to repurpose iteravely. We will rev up our capability to expedite without lessening our capability to incentivize. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. The compliance factor is back-end. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (one day) be able to seize elegantly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think impactful. Think ubiquitous. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The sticky functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. At FunCubator, we realize how to strategize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for front-end obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will exploit the commonly-used term "revolutionary, world-class, end-to-end". The experiences factor is viral. Without sufficient web-readiness, communities are forced to become one-to-one. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Think B2C. Think world-class. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our obfuscation but our power to reintermediate. Without preplanned 60/24/7/365, intuitive CAD, e-markets are forced to become integrated. We will e-enable the term "real-time".