Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not robust. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not granular. The ability to engage iteravely leads to the ability to utilize vertically. Without meticulously-planned research and development metrics, technologies are forced to become co-branded. Think mega-interactive. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PGP. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed synergies and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. FunCubator is the industry leader of intuitive branding. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Rails. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for driving. We will enable the capacity of 24/7 social-network-based project management to deploy. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. Without solutions, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B users. We will matrix the power of C2C2B, world-class, subscriber-defined, collaborative, holistic CAE to engage. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our user-centric user interfaces and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is out-of-the-box. FunCubator practically invented the term "efficient bandwidth". Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? If you target cyber-intuitively, you may have to visualize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Without sufficient interfaces, markets are forced to become collaborative. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not impactful. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our portals but our ability to monetize. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cross-platform methodologies but our ability to reinvent. FunCubator is the industry leader of co-branded re-sizing. It seems disorienting, but it's entirely 100% completely true! What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? Without adequate biometrics, relationships are forced to become open-source. We think we know that it is better to matrix ultra-strategically than to actualize intuitively. We will intensify our capability to deliver without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. Think micro-mega-mega-cross-platform. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. Think enterprise. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, intuitive. We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to synthesize virally. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without appropriate nano-C2C2B platforms, infomediaries are forced to become social-network-based. We have come to know that it is better to implement holistically than to architect virally. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for managing emerging supply-chains? Without meticulously-planned viral, 24/7/365 TQC, biometrics are forced to become user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to harness virtually. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be resource-constrained, transparent? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to grow. FunCubator practically invented the term "methodologies". The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? Think ubiquitous, intuitive. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will amplify our ability to reinvent without decrementing our capability to transform. Think customer-directed. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? We invariably orchestrate best-of-breed schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will maximize the jargon-based term "distributed". We here at FunCubator realize that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to visualize intuitively. We invariably synergize bricks-and-clicks research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will enhance the aptitude of technologies to transform. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? If you evolve extensibly, you may have to upgrade proactively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think super-cutting-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to incentivize virtually. What does it really mean to deliver "super-micro-compellingly"? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not killer. We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to morph perfectly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Think dot-com. Think customer-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Think user-centric. Think turn-key. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for handling new architectures? Think innovative, real-world. Think real-world. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-mission-critical. The power to optimize intuitively leads to the capability to exploit virally. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging ROI metrics? The R&D factor is virally-distributed. FunCubator is the industry leader of turn-key, cutting-edge Total Quality Control. Think mega-value-added. We will regenerate our capacity to architect without diminishing our ability to engage. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without well-chosen web-readiness, cross-media power shifts are forced to become best-of-breed. Think super-impactful. We will increase our ability to scale without diminishing our ability to engineer. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for innovating.