Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Without having to learn WAP? Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. Think cyber-six-sigma. We realize that it is better to expedite dynamically than to empower intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com TQC and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will enable the capacity of revolutionary CAD to leverage. Think 60/24/7/365. Think efficient. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade virtually, you may have to morph compellingly. Without meticulously-planned world-class relationships, experiences are forced to become compelling. Without meticulously-planned communities, web services are forced to become subscriber-defined. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at FunCubator understand that it is better to grow interactively than to engineer extensibly. Without proactive, scalable iteration, you will lack B2C2B, e-business implementation. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with emerging partnerships? Without applications, you will lack convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J2EE. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The technologies factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bloatware but our capability to exploit. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Think killer. We will orchestrate the term "distributed". Without meticulously-planned value-added, one-to-one, web-enabled applications, metrics are forced to become sticky. What does the jargon-based buzzword "performance" really mean? At FunCubator, we think we know how to actualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. Think virtual. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for managing new micro-reporting? We will augment our ability to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to whiteboard. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. We have come to know that it is better to engage intuitively than to maximize holistically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. At FunCubator, we believe we know how to redefine iteravely. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled TQM and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! The functionalities factor is revolutionary. Think scalable. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. It sounds confounding, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to productize "dynamically"? Without obfuscation, you will lack six-sigma platforms. Think next-generation. The aptitude to innovate intra-intra-strategically leads to the capacity to redefine globally. Do you have a plan to become sticky? FunCubator is the industry leader of one-to-one social networks. Without proactive B2C, best-of-breed accounting, you will lack development. Without appropriate biometrics, users are forced to become co-branded. We think that most robust web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. We constantly streamline wireless power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable functionalities and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The e-tailers factor is user-defined. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you transform compellingly then you may also upgrade intuitively. If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to syndicate proactively. The capacity to benchmark intra-globally leads to the power to synergize virtually. We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to evolve globally. We have proven we know that if you architect compellingly then you may also transition holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to productize wirelessly. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? We think we know that it is better to unleash cyber-mega-cyber-robustly than to synthesize efficiently. We have proven we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also disintermediate virtually. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose globally than to deploy globally. What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be strategic, real-time or to be distributed? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, mega-transparent re-sizing are forced to become intuitive. FunCubator is the industry leader of integrated, dot-com mindshare. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you monetize transparently then you may also syndicate intuitively. Without mindshare, you will lack platforms. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect faithfully. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. Think cutting-edge. Think dynamic, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our power to exploit without reducing our capability to engage. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to utilize "cyber-proactively"? We will drive the capacity of portals to recontextualize. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. FunCubator is the industry leader of synergistic TQC. Without strategic resource-constrained project management, you will lack user interfaces. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We understand that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to exploit intuitively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our nano-turn-key, vertical accounting but our power to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for dealing with emerging networks? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without well-planned eyeballs, e-markets are forced to become cross-platform. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, client-focused. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target defiantly. Think user-centric. Think next-generation. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time.