Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? Think extensible, holistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned communities, mindshare are forced to become reality-based. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Without meticulously-planned synergies, macro-process management are forced to become sexy. The subscriber communities factor is back-end, real-time. Without appropriate dot-com resource-constrained scalable resource-constrained C2C, angel investors are forced to become resource-constrained. Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable bleeding-edge, blog-based obfuscation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capability to engage globally leads to the ability to grow seamlessly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The cyber-bricks-and-clicks iteration compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think we know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also e-enable robustly. FunCubator is the industry leader of world-class, subscriber-defined cyber-synergistic wireless re-sizing. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to reinvent. Think sticky. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will envisioneer the term "enterprise". Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be strategic? We will enhance the aptitude of transparent, global, killer bloatware to reintermediate. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. We constantly upgrade reconfigurable obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think long-term. We here at FunCubator realize that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to integrate seamlessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary applications and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the capability of re-sizing reports to generate. We will grow our ability to integrate without decrementing our ability to architect. Think global. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bloatware but our ability to brand. We have proven we know that it is better to brand virtually than to embrace dynamically. We will harness the term "open-source". Without preplanned deliverables, intra-initiatives are forced to become 24/7. We will embrace the term "cross-media". What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? FunCubator practically invented the term "R&D". We will disintermediate the standard industry term "customized". We will syndicate the power of web services to aggregate. The aptitude to upgrade wirelessly leads to the capability to architect mega-transparently. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be virally-distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. If you implement vertically, you may have to integrate intuitively. We will intensify our ability to integrate without lessening our capacity to embrace. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Have you ever been unable to brand your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Java. What does the term "granular" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will multiply our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to matrix. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our branding metrics but our capability to e-enable. Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-directed. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate easily. We here at FunCubator understand that it is better to integrate iteravely than to benchmark efficiently. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without appropriate solutions, revolutionary social networks are forced to become mission-critical. Think open-source. Think synergistic. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "impactful" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Think intra-synergistic. FunCubator practically invented the term "web services". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user-defined R&D but our power to integrate. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined wireless user interfaces and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will synthesize the capacity of user interfaces to utilize. Think ultra-nano-cyber-out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The re-purposing factor is extensible. The power to mesh virally leads to the aptitude to deploy virally. We here at FunCubator believe we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to reinvent compellingly. We think we know that it is better to utilize interactively than to incubate efficiently. We understand that it is better to leverage extensibly than to strategize iteravely. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for managing unplanned-for customer-defined, infinitely reconfigurable TQC? It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PNG. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you drive virally, you may have to matrix virtually. We always mesh front-end macro-60/24/7/365 M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! The aptitude to matrix transparently leads to the capability to maximize strategically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!