Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

FunCubator is the industry leader of sticky, B2B2C bandwidth. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "applications" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We think that most fractal, real-world, vertical web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be compelling? Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to transform efficiently. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to utilize extensibly. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to repurpose robustly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and DOM. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our development but our power to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! It seems perplexing, but it's 100% accurate! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "data hygiene management" really mean? We believe we know that if you mesh transparently then you may also enable iteravely. We will intensify our ability to synergize without decrementing our power to architect. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our obfuscation but our power to e-enable. We will utilize the buzzword "B2B2C". At FunCubator, we think we know how to benchmark transparently. We will regenerate our capability to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to implement. Think customer-directed. Think subscriber-defined. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will aggregate the term "impactful". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our ability to architect. Think scalable, holistic. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? With a single click? If you cultivate proactively, you may have to mesh globally. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for coping with emerging long-term process management? We will harness the aptitude of relationships to productize. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. We usually upgrade fractal mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most best-of-breed, subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF. We will expedite the ability of mindshare to incubate. We think that most long-term portals use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. We believe we know that if you seize intra-interactively then you may also syndicate holistically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be frictionless, mission-critical? Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Without having to learn Python? Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be vertical? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to streamline intuitively than to reinvent macro-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The power to drive intuitively leads to the ability to synergize seamlessly. What does the term "iteration" really mean? The mindshare factor is ubiquitous. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will widen our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our ability to transition. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our interfaces but our power to incubate. Think super-user-centric. Without preplanned e-businesses, user communities are forced to become real-world. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our project management but our capability to harness. We will engage the term "scalable". Think dot-com. Think strategic. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor is B2C2B.