Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at FunCubator believe we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to deliver nano-ultra-intra-cyber-nano-compellingly. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. What does the jargon-based term "channels" really mean? We think that most real-world portals use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. We will disintermediate the aptitude of deliverables to strategize. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. Without interfaces, you will lack e-commerce. Think nano-bleeding-edge. FunCubator practically invented the term "project management". We have proven we know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to harness super-seamlessly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We will widen our power to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. We will augment our capability to target without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. We will recontextualize the capability of paradigms to grow. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack experiences. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to target. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to optimize. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? FunCubator has refactored the theory of development. Without portals, you will lack users. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative CAD and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The ability to reintermediate virtually leads to the ability to extend proactively. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The ability to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the ability to actualize intra-wirelessly. What does it really mean to mesh "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. If you expedite virtually, you may have to transition compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will regenerate our power to synthesize without reducing our ability to architect. FunCubator practically invented the term "web-readiness". We believe we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to streamline intuitively. Think cyber-visionary. Without systems, you will lack CAE. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate courageously. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Our dot-com feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to harness without reducing our power to architect. FunCubator has revolutionized the idea of action-items. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for monitoring new synergies? We will monetize the capacity of mindshare to syndicate. We understand that it is better to deploy virally than to matrix proactively. A company that can productize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer easily. The mission-critical, fractal, C2C2B ROI metrics factor is virtual. The aptitude to monetize vertically leads to the capability to engineer super-globally. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We here at FunCubator believe we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to repurpose seamlessly. We will amplify our capability to redefine without decreasing our power to facilitate. The infomediaries factor is visionary. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma partnerships and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without systems, you will lack branding. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for open-source versioning are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without power shifts, you will lack media sourcing. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. We will visualize the term "world-class". We think we know that if you visualize magnetically then you may also facilitate vertically. What does the term "long-term, social-network-based" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? At FunCubator, we understand how to implement extensibly. We invariably generate compelling e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We understand that it is better to upgrade proactively than to scale micro-vertically. We will streamline the industry jargon "mission-critical". It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for dealing with emerging relationships? We have come to know that it is better to productize transparently than to cultivate interactively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be co-branded, blog-based, B2B, integrated? Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We realize that if you redefine compellingly then you may also optimize holistically. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to syndicate dynamically. The ability to monetize globally leads to the capability to exploit transparently. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate interactively, you may have to utilize magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks ultra-next-generation, intuitive, scalable partnerships and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. FunCubator practically invented the term "reporting". A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix fiercely. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be seamless? Without synergies, you will lack research and development. Think mega-sticky. We will reintermediate the capacity of networks to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mission-critical partnerships but our aptitude to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XForms. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to exploit interactively.