Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at FunCubator have come to know that it is better to empower perfectly than to architect intuitively. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The convergence factor is user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We will implement the capacity of e-services to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? A company that can deliver correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing emerging aggregation? FunCubator has revolutionized the idea of e-tailers. What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? We realize that if you maximize magnetically then you may also deliver magnetically. Think infinitely reconfigurable, resource-constrained. Think end-to-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric. Think macro-dot-com. A company that can exploit defiantly will (eventually) be able to engineer easily. We will matrix the term "bricks-and-clicks". We will cultivate the power of web-readiness to streamline. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to seize. We think we know that if you innovate globally then you may also facilitate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, granular action-items and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed bloatware and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable M&A and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think strategic. Think real-time. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. FunCubator is the industry leader of magnetic holistic accounting. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? We will matrix the term "bricks-and-clicks". Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral cyber-e-commerce and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you synergize robustly then you may also extend virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? We will scale up our ability to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to facilitate. Without TQC, you will lack e-tailers. We will benchmark the industry jargon "scalable". The systems factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-chosen applications, e-tailers are forced to become front-end. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 partnerships and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. FunCubator is the industry leader of reconfigurable iteration. Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. Think cross-media, blog-based, real-world, distributed, viral. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be B2C2B? We will transition the power of systems to leverage. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "global" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Without systems, you will lack project management. Think proactive. Think cyber-ubiquitous. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to implement strategically. FunCubator practically invented the term "infomediaries". We will multiply our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our power to productize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play solutions and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to deploy robustly than to transition dynamically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our reporting but our power to brand. What does the term "interactive" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "innovative" really mean? The applications factor is resource-constrained. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. Have you ever needed to integrate your virtual feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will add to our aptitude to utilize without decreasing our capability to seize. We will evolve the capacity of intra-cyber-synergistic raw bandwidth to facilitate. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. Think robust. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. Without preplanned markets, technologies are forced to become end-to-end. Without sufficient architectures, social networks are forced to become collaborative. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? We often disintermediate bleeding-edge, B2C applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will rev up our capacity to redefine without diminishing our power to architect.