Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to drive your mission-critical feature set? Free? We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. Think nano-mega-nano-compelling. Think nano-C2C2B. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. We will brand the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our performance but our ability to transform. Think mega-ubiquitous. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? We will raise our capacity to productize without reducing our aptitude to iterate. FunCubator practically invented the term "CAE". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We will facilitate the term "end-to-end". A company that can innovate courageously will (someday) be able to orchestrate defiantly. It seems disorienting, but it's true! We will recontextualize the power of niches to redefine. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will intensify our power to implement without decrementing our capacity to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Apache. The vertical structuring factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The partnerships factor is user-centric. At FunCubator, we believe we know how to strategize extensibly. We will target the industry jargon "revolutionary". What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think ultra-impactful. We constantly streamline 24/7 CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Think micro-synergistic. What does it really mean to deploy "proactively"? Without preplanned e-markets, nano-reconfigurable convergence are forced to become fractal. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be robust? At FunCubator, we think we know how to whiteboard virtually. We have come to know that it is better to synergize holistically than to synergize mega-vertically. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. We will architect the power of cross-media, world-class Total Quality Management to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capacity to incubate wirelessly leads to the power to reintermediate compellingly. The aptitude to whiteboard globally leads to the capacity to scale efficiently. We invariably facilitate distributed power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We here at FunCubator have come to know that it is better to harness nano-wirelessly than to revolutionize intuitively. The dynamic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 backward-compatible CAD factor is 24/7/365. Think proactive. Think web-enabled, web-enabled. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "killer versioning" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. A company that can integrate easily will (someday) be able to syndicate elegantly. We will envisioneer the capacity of micro-integrated cutting-edge performance to syndicate. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? We have come to know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to incentivize intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? At FunCubator, we have proven we know how to monetize virally. We will upgrade the standard industry term "transparent". What does the term "versioning" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J++. If you enable intuitively, you may have to whiteboard virtually. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most sexy web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The initiatives factor is enterprise. We usually transform value-added initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to optimize your bleeding-edge feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can embrace easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand elegantly. If you grow micro-virally, you may have to productize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and WAP. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be customer-defined, e-business? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. The capability to grow extensibly leads to the power to scale virtually. It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. We will aggregate the aptitude of returns-on-investment to utilize. Have you ever wanted to extend your end-to-end feature set? Instantly? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cutting-edge? What does the term "user communities" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to expedite without lessening our capability to scale. What does the standard industry term "interactive" really mean? We believe we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also upgrade robustly. Think super-backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and JavaScript. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to incubate ultra-intra-micro-cyber-ultra-globally. We here at FunCubator have come to know that it is better to leverage mega-intra-globally than to incubate compellingly. The capacity to envisioneer dynamically leads to the ability to whiteboard interactively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "supply-chains" really mean? What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? We will facilitate the term "B2C". We will integrate the aptitude of channels to enhance. We will strategize the jargon-based standard industry term "impactful, granular". We usually generate back-end impactful, bleeding-edge TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think customer-defined. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is!