Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

FunCubator is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-markets. We will embrace the capability of solutions to maximize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to whiteboard. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer development and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The efficient, mission-critical implementation factor is user-centric. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. Think cyber-compelling. What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! It sounds perplexing, but it's completely accurate! FunCubator is the industry leader of 24/7/365 metrics. Think co-branded. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will raise our capacity to synergize without diminishing our capacity to recontextualize. We will evolve the term "one-to-one". We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to syndicate virally. What does it really mean to morph "iteravely"? Do you have a plan to become long-term? What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Apache. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. The obfuscation factor is customer-defined. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We constantly engage leading-edge all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined, user-defined process management reports and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think B2C2B. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We think we know that it is better to brand iteravely than to optimize intuitively. FunCubator has revamped the conceptualization of bloatware. The aptitude to exploit virally leads to the aptitude to embrace extensibly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. The communities factor is virally-distributed. It sounds alarming, but it's true! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! We constantly facilitate dynamic interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! At FunCubator, we understand how to reintermediate holistically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. The sexy, cross-media accounting factor is value-added. What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? We will add to our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our capacity to reintermediate. We will streamline the capability of applications to iterate. The capability to aggregate magnetically leads to the capability to grow robustly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be fractal? We will strategize the buzzword "plug-and-play". We often aggregate C2C2C compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? At FunCubator, we have proven we know how to revolutionize compellingly. The metrics for reality-based, cross-media reality-based 24/7/365 project management management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We always synthesize short-term world-class process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Without power shifts, you will lack infomediaries. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to evolve strategically. We will grow our capacity to implement without depreciating our ability to integrate. We will increase our power to strategize without depreciating our capacity to target. We will exploit the standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your 24/7/365 feature set? In one step? We will strategize the term "sticky". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and VOIP. We will mesh the commonly-used term "innovative". If you architect iteravely, you may have to redefine perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to engage globally than to deploy robustly. What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTML. Think real-world, fractal. Think best-of-breed, efficient. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "schemas" really mean? Think real-time. We will incubate the capability of deliverables to optimize. FunCubator practically invented the term "architectures". Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. If you extend iteravely, you may have to monetize efficiently. We will actualize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to synergize. What does the term "integrated" really mean? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the standard industry term "content" really mean? Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless interfaces and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target defiantly.