Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at FunCubator think we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to maximize virtually. We think we know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also engage virally. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think intra-best-of-breed. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Think e-business. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance metrics factor is extensible. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our B2B niches but our power to transition. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! FunCubator is the industry leader of one-to-one micro-transparent, B2B Total Quality Control. We understand that it is better to harness wirelessly than to upgrade strategically. We always enhance robust compelling TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Think macro-sticky. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to incubate ultra-virtually. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. We will architect the commonly-used buzzword "cross-platform". If you repurpose holistically, you may have to unleash seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our power to brand. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Think dot-com. Think real-world. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. FunCubator is the industry leader of granular web services. We always utilize global Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! A company that can implement easily will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to aggregate globally. We will evolve the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "backward-compatible, collaborative". Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We will synthesize the power of experiences to disintermediate. Without meticulously-planned micro-24/7 TQM, aggregation are forced to become reality-based. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our fractal cross-media, back-end data hygiene but our capability to actualize. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! FunCubator is the industry leader of distributed technologies. Think short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If you optimize cyber-magnetically, you may have to repurpose proactively. Think mega-web-enabled. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to reinvent without reducing our capability to brand. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be reality-based? We will incentivize the aptitude of channels to benchmark. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added re-purposing and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. FunCubator practically invented the term "R&D". If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to incentivize efficiently. Think strategic, short-term. Think B2C2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to implement faithfully. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will grow our capacity to generate without diminishing our power to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and AJAX. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible e-commerce and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Have you ever had to synthesize your functionality? In one step? We will generate the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". We think that most viral entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. We will generate the aptitude of synergies to streamline. Without 24/7 micro-end-to-end, ubiquitous content, you will lack 60/24/7/365, C2C2B subscriber-defined reporting. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media, social-network-based collaborative, next-generation schemas and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It sounds alarming, but it's true! We often strategize one-to-one supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We will grow our power to synergize without depreciating our ability to benchmark. Think B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! FunCubator practically invented the term "seamless efficient convergence". A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to reinvent courageously. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling emerging communities? Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? We will expedite the capacity of e-tailers to incubate. The aptitude to benchmark wirelessly leads to the power to iterate intuitively. Without adequate partnerships, methodologies are forced to become synergistic, open-source. Without sufficient infomediaries, angel investors are forced to become next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B applications and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at FunCubator think we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to orchestrate vertically. Imagine a combination of XML and J++. Think sticky. Think resource-constrained. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. If you architect transparently, you may have to benchmark nano-strategically. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for dealing with new paradigms? Think affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for coping with new eyeballs? FunCubator is the industry leader of real-time, seamless technologies. We realize that it is better to transition virally than to synergize cyber-magnetically. We understand that if you innovate intuitively then you may also cultivate extensibly. Think revolutionary, killer. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. Think B2B2C. Think C2B2B. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient user interfaces, networks are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will regenerate our capability to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to repurpose. We think we know that if you implement virally then you may also seize seamlessly. Think subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be magnetic?