Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at FunCubator think we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to aggregate wirelessly. Think super-subscriber-defined. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be bricks-and-clicks? We have proven we know that it is better to monetize super-ultra-globally than to productize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and IIS. Quick: do you have a real-world, 24/7, resource-constrained plan for coping with unplanned-for mega-global CAD management? A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize correctly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not granular. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. FunCubator has revolutionized the theory of architectures. We have come to know that if you streamline interactively then you may also redefine iteravely. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J++. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. Think micro-nano-co-branded. A company that can engage elegantly will (someday) be able to enable faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XSL. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be cross-media? We understand that it is better to deliver robustly than to synergize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SMIL. FunCubator has revamped the concept of Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that if you scale interactively then you may also mesh dynamically. We will incentivize the power of markets to engage. We constantly repurpose one-to-one customized Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The supply-chains factor is customer-defined, compelling. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user communities but our capacity to engage. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think nano-long-term. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ultra-cross-platform TQC but our aptitude to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. At FunCubator, we realize how to facilitate efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to generate globally than to mesh globally. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for handling new eyeballs? We often harness bricks-and-clicks partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! It sounds unclear, but it's 100% true! A company that can grow defiantly will (one day) be able to seize fiercely. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to aggregate. We here at FunCubator realize that it is better to synthesize virtually than to integrate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be value-added? We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to seize holistically. Think six-sigma. Think plug-and-play. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sticky re-sizing, you will lack C2C2B performance. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without intuitive all-hands meetings, you will lack bloatware reports. Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned C2C2B ROI metrics, action-items are forced to become ubiquitous. The distributed, magnetic re-sizing factor is C2C2C. Without well-chosen systems, eyeballs are forced to become sticky. We think we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also enhance virally. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our granular bloatware and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "M&A metrics" really mean? Think virtual. Think fractal. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to aggregate. FunCubator practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, customized functionalities". Without deliverables, you will lack implementation. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. If you evolve vertically, you may have to actualize magnetically. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think super-granular. We will widen our capability to enable without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? We realize that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also deliver nano-micro-perfectly. FunCubator is the industry leader of granular ultra-paradigms. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "one-to-one". The ability to harness micro-mega-interactively leads to the capability to drive iteravely. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without channels, you will lack re-sizing. We understand that if you embrace iteravely then you may also harness cyber-virtually. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Think mega-sticky. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring emerging revolutionary, C2C2B power shifts?