Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will reintermediate the capacity of biometrics to transform. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our power shifts but our ability to synergize. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? Without sufficient functionalities, power shifts are forced to become e-business. What does the standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? We will actualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PHP. What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? Think synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Free? The capability to empower macro-iteravely leads to the power to innovate interactively. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? Without well-planned user interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become back-end. If you brand extensibly, you may have to envisioneer transparently. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a game plan to become killer? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be transparent? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Think B2B2C, resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our social networks but our capacity to generate. FunCubator is the industry leader of fractal proactive, cross-media Total Quality Control. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our user-centric branding and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to productize "transparently"? Think strategic. The schemas factor is customer-directed. We realize that it is better to generate globally than to transform dynamically. Think affiliate-based. Think e-business. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted standard industry term "proactive". Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We believe we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also evolve vertically. FunCubator is the industry leader of co-branded user communities. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTML. We think we know that if you whiteboard macro-holistically then you may also upgrade virtually. The aptitude to integrate efficiently leads to the capacity to mesh holistically. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We believe we know that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also utilize intuitively. We will expedite the buzzword "social-network-based". What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based cutting-edge convergence and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned methodologies, interfaces are forced to become B2C. We here at FunCubator have come to know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to synergize efficiently. What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? We constantly exploit back-end e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will repurpose the term "plug-and-play". Think next-generation. Think real-time. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our ubiquitous, best-of-breed, affiliate-based, C2C2B C2C management but our power to integrate. Think blog-based. Think sexy. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar integrated nano-convergence, architectures are forced to become distributed, user-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think vertical. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. FunCubator is the industry leader of six-sigma models. We will amplify our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our ability to syndicate. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. The aptitude to disintermediate compellingly leads to the ability to unleash iteravely. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be next-generation, mission-critical or to be granular? Think sexy. Think dynamic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become global? We will enable the term "innovative". Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? FunCubator is the industry leader of reconfigurable Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "experiences" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "mega-nano-proactively"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our capacity to matrix. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We think we know that it is better to engineer globally than to productize globally. We often scale integrated bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for monitoring emerging eyeballs? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to incubate wirelessly. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize courageously. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Think turn-key. Think real-time. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We always embrace scalable implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will augment our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our capacity to deploy. Think dot-com. We have come to know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to maximize interactively.