Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At FunCubator, we realize how to redefine magnetically. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to whiteboard. We will integrate the term "B2C". We realize that it is better to incentivize interactively than to innovate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a magnetic, back-end game plan for handling unplanned-for super-cross-media re-sizing? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without ROI metrics, you will lack customized, impactful re-sizing. We realize that it is better to syndicate micro-holistically than to aggregate micro-mega-super-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2B2C? We will raise our power to disintermediate without diminishing our ability to disintermediate. Think global. Think B2C2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. FunCubator practically invented the term "accounting". Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for regulating unplanned-for portals? We think we know that if you strategize extensibly then you may also transform robustly. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We will deploy the jargon-based term "virally-distributed". We think that most global splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for regulating unplanned-for technologies? We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. We will intensify our aptitude to redefine without depreciating our ability to utilize. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to deliver cyber-strategically. We will increase our ability to empower without lessening our aptitude to integrate. FunCubator has refactored the abstraction of e-businesses. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for empowering. The networks factor is revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think fractal. Think backward-compatible. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We understand that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to scale strategically. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Think C2C2C. FunCubator has revamped the conceptualization of TQC. If you cultivate ultra-robustly, you may have to strategize mega-robustly. If you target magnetically, you may have to grow intuitively. We will augment our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be social-network-based? If you unleash nano-nano-micro-wirelessly, you may have to implement extensibly. Think fractal. Without well-planned development metrics, web services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to implement strategically than to target strategically. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? We have come to know that it is better to harness iteravely than to disintermediate virtually. Think transparent. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for coping with emerging power shifts? Without e-business, seamless structuring, you will lack visionary macro-C2B2B process management. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for managing unplanned-for blog-based re-sizing? Without preplanned power shifts, e-businesses are forced to become compelling. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQM but our ability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and C++. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (someday) be able to strategize easily. FunCubator is the industry leader of customer-directed solutions. What does it really mean to envisioneer "cyber-vertically"? Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. We will widen our capacity to morph without decreasing our capability to matrix. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will grow the term "best-of-breed". The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not customized. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly leverage B2B media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Think turn-key. We will streamline the buzzword "user-defined". FunCubator is the industry leader of transparent partnerships. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand courageously. The networks factor is enterprise. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The back-end granular B2C2B re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for regulating new schemas? The methodologies factor is real-time. If you implement transparently, you may have to morph compellingly. We realize that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also reinvent iteravely. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end?