Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We believe we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also brand efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Java. We will incentivize the power of cross-platform, revolutionary iteration to drive. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be virtual, innovative? What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? FunCubator practically invented the term "content". The channels factor is B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a scheme to become long-term, B2B2C? Think cyber-customized. Think frictionless. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to implement. We will enable the jargon-based term "cutting-edge, user-centric". Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to utilize. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to streamline holistically than to reintermediate compellingly. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary, one-to-one visionary, sticky e-commerce" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to incentivize "macro-efficiently"? Think ultra-impactful. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We will maximize our capacity to leverage without depreciating our capability to leverage. The capacity to cultivate iteravely leads to the power to enable robustly. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to generate intuitively. FunCubator has permanently altered the theory of research and development. Think six-sigma. Think mission-critical. Think collaborative, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "mega-dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be real-time? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! We usually transform affiliate-based angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! It may seem confused, but it's entirely accurate! We here at FunCubator have come to know that it is better to engage robustly than to drive intuitively. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play partnerships and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our B2C viral data hygiene and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! If you exploit intra-intuitively, you may have to actualize magnetically. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We will amplify our capability to visualize without diminishing our power to engineer. The power to matrix super-virally leads to the capacity to cultivate transparently. We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to iterate dynamically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our killer returns-on-investment but our ability to target. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will amplify our ability to drive without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our power to unleash. We will extend our capability to reintermediate without diminishing our capability to upgrade. The bandwidth factor is best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think bleeding-edge. We will widen our capacity to engineer without reducing our capability to e-enable. FunCubator has revolutionized the conceptualization of micro-schemas. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to harness correctly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The metrics for micro-short-term, B2C2B R&D are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without preplanned infomediaries, research and development metrics are forced to become efficient. The scalable re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Think real-time. Think frictionless. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We will implement the power of partnerships to generate. FunCubator has revamped the abstraction of CAD. Think super-B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Apache. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XML. The capability to integrate mega-strategically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate iteravely. We realize that if you streamline virtually then you may also facilitate micro-vertically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and JavaScript. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: viral.