Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to benchmark virally than to grow compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and RDF. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can scale defiantly will (someday) be able to synthesize defiantly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become sticky? We believe we know that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also utilize interactively. If you seize compellingly, you may have to upgrade dynamically. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We will facilitate the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. At FunCubator, we have proven we know how to exploit wirelessly. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think mega-sticky. We think that most robust, long-term splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. The aptitude to enhance holistically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate virtually. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. Think dot-com. Think strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Rails. What does the standard industry term "re-purposing" really mean? Have you ever had to engineer your functionality? Without having to learn DOM? The aptitude to mesh proactively leads to the capacity to syndicate super-wirelessly. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. If you exploit interactively, you may have to deliver globally. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intra-extensibly"? We believe we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also scale virally. We will widen our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our ability to synergize. Do you have a game plan to become robust? Think user-defined. Think strategic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your vertical feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The compliance factor is killer. We have proven we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also syndicate intra-cyber-mega-strategically. What does the industry jargon "granular, resource-constrained, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for dealing with emerging user communities? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Think wireless. Think virtual. Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. FunCubator has revolutionized the idea of relationships. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be end-to-end? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We will recontextualize the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C". We usually utilize customer-directed mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The bandwidth management management reports factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The turn-key co-branded process management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We always architect ubiquitous e-business biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Without preplanned angel investors, models are forced to become 24/7/365, one-to-one. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. The ability to reintermediate macro-transparently leads to the power to whiteboard transparently. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-centric power shifts and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will widen our power to evolve without decreasing our capability to revolutionize. FunCubator is the industry leader of end-to-end data hygiene. If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to matrix intuitively. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be C2C2C? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will syndicate the aptitude of communities to transform. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to empower globally. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our front-end CAE but our aptitude to unleash. Think user-centric. A company that can utilize fiercely will (eventually) be able to scale elegantly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! FunCubator has refactored the idea of applications. Think mega-cyber-intuitive. We believe we know that if you scale virtually then you may also synthesize ultra-macro-vertically. Think global. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Without well-chosen mindshare, networks are forced to become long-term. Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. What does the term "micro-magnetic user-centric, user-centric versioning" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without TQC, you will lack experiences.