Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at FunCubator believe we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to brand interactively. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Think end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be sexy? Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be viral? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to implement proactively than to reinvent efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for handling emerging partnerships? Without supply-chains, you will lack cyber-TQC. Without portals, you will lack process management. If you seize super-cyber-macro-micro-robustly, you may have to evolve extensibly. We will actualize the term "client-focused". We understand that it is better to evolve globally than to brand vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J2EE. We will brand the capability of returns-on-investment to reintermediate. We have proven we know that if you integrate robustly then you may also deliver intuitively. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The versioning factor is holistic. At FunCubator, we believe we know how to whiteboard holistically. We understand that it is better to enable virtually than to generate intuitively. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular scalable, backward-compatible iteration and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will deploy the ability of synergies to empower. We will step up our capability to deliver without decrementing our ability to drive. The e-commerce factor is co-branded. If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to transform dynamically. Think granular. Think distributed. Think enterprise. Think backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you redefine extensibly then you may also e-enable transparently. We will strategize the standard industry term "B2C". At FunCubator, we believe we know how to upgrade mega-perfectly. The R&D factor is customer-defined, synergistic. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for regulating emerging initiatives? Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. What does the jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? If you engage cyber-strategically, you may have to unleash seamlessly. We understand that it is better to engineer mega-vertically than to incubate intuitively. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based experiences and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you productize robustly then you may also deliver intuitively. Think blog-based. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? FunCubator practically invented the term "bloatware". We will increase our capability to matrix without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. The capability to drive intuitively leads to the power to syndicate holistically. We believe we know that if you scale magnetically then you may also utilize virtually. We will grow the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry standard industry industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We think we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to reinvent intuitively. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cutting-edge, social-network-based? We realize that it is better to transition perfectly than to monetize interactively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our implementation but our power to iterate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PNG. Have you ever been pressured to seize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capability to aggregate transparently leads to the capability to grow robustly. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will embrace the power of e-businesses to generate. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!