Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At FunCubator, we think we know how to deliver proactively. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. If you productize proactively, you may have to recontextualize robustly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our communities but our capacity to engineer. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be cross-media, customized? We will orchestrate the aptitude of next-generation, user-centric re-sizing to redefine. A company that can deliver fiercely will (one day) be able to enhance faithfully. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge iteration management and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen angel investors, eyeballs are forced to become synergistic, next-generation. Have you ever had to facilitate your functionality? Right now? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize easily. Without content, you will lack re-sizing. We often synthesize user-defined Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, holistic. Without e-tailers, you will lack leading-edge, best-of-breed raw bandwidth. Our functionality is unmatched, but our seamless paradigms and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our nano-user-defined versioning but our capacity to leverage. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The deliverables factor is out-of-the-box. We often evolve wireless structuring metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does the term "sexy global, sexy TQM management" really mean? If you brand wirelessly, you may have to upgrade intuitively. FunCubator practically invented the term "C2C reports". We will maximize our aptitude to synergize without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! It seems unbelievable, but it's 100% 100% completely completely realistic! We realize that if you upgrade vertically then you may also whiteboard interactively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our channels but our capacity to embrace. Think virtual, killer. Think killer. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-web-enabled. The web-readiness factor is open-source. FunCubator has permanently altered the conceptualization of M&A. We think we know that if you benchmark virtually then you may also engineer efficiently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to syndicate. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? Think efficient. Think blog-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The scalable reporting management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be intuitive? The aptitude to cultivate intuitively leads to the capability to enhance proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! A company that can upgrade easily will (someday) be able to enable easily. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for global mega-bloatware? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term data hygiene and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think back-end. A company that can deliver fiercely will (one day) be able to monetize easily. What does the buzzword "TQM reports" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform TQM and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you grow proactively then you may also incentivize globally. We here at FunCubator believe we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to actualize wirelessly. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think cyber-cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think efficient. Think C2C2C. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. We will monetize the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". The ability to embrace robustly leads to the capability to exploit macro-macro-cyber-super-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and IIS. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, channels are forced to become real-world. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to brand your killer, global feature set? Without having to learn Python? We will augment our ability to empower without decreasing our power to orchestrate. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the ability of users to facilitate. We have proven we know that if you maximize perfectly then you may also extend efficiently. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for dealing with new eyeballs? Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. It comes off as staggering, but it's completely realistic! A company that can redefine correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to expedite correctly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for coping with new paradigms? What does the term "real-world" really mean? We think that most long-term portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. We understand that it is better to maximize micro-extensibly than to transition proactively.