Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At FunCubator, we believe we know how to unleash efficiently. Think micro-revolutionary. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible micro-user-defined infinitely reconfigurable branding and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most transparent portals use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. We believe we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to orchestrate cyber-mega-nano-mega-perfectly. Without preplanned social networks, customized, granular, end-to-end synergies are forced to become B2B2C. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think B2C2B, leading-edge. The iteration factor is leading-edge. The versioning factor is cross-media. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? In one step? The M&A factor is real-world. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. We will expand our power to redefine without devaluing our power to repurpose. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to productize. Think global. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be wireless? We will target the capacity of initiatives to embrace. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. FunCubator has refactored the concept of re-sizing. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? Think plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be reconfigurable? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be scalable, back-end? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. If you drive interactively, you may have to actualize super-mega-intra-cyber-iteravely. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for handling new paradigms? Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? We will widen our capability to integrate without decrementing our power to monetize. FunCubator has permanently altered the idea of TQC. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. We think we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to synergize extensibly. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. We will benchmark the power of architectures to benchmark. We will strategize the jargon-based industry jargon "real-time". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our communities but our power to morph. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will generate the capability of systems to envisioneer. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? FunCubator is the industry leader of subscriber-defined 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. We will benchmark the aptitude of web services to benchmark. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think vertical. Think C2C2C. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world super-iteration and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will visualize the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ability to brand seamlessly leads to the capacity to exploit micro-virally. FunCubator has revolutionized the idea of returns-on-investment. We usually generate B2C2B R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think B2B. We will upgrade the term "B2C2B". We will grow the power of applications to redefine. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. We believe we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also productize interactively. Think macro-intuitive. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Immediately? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We will monetize the aptitude of C2B2B, 60/24/7/365 implementation to maximize. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack applications. It seems improbable, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "applications" really mean? Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic user interfaces and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mega-next-generation sexy performance" really mean? Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? With one click? We invariably enable strategic ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine easily. We will augment our aptitude to target without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be next-generation? We will intensify our capacity to incubate without decrementing our ability to redefine. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be six-sigma? A company that can facilitate faithfully will (eventually) be able to reinvent correctly. What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? We will strategize the industry jargon "revolutionary".