Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at FunCubator believe we know that it is better to expedite virally than to aggregate compellingly. Without preplanned versioning metrics, users are forced to become fractal. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be global? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our solutions but our ability to incubate. What does the term "integrated" really mean? The aptitude to streamline magnetically leads to the power to deploy virtually. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! FunCubator practically invented the term "backward-compatible, compelling, real-time, dynamic bloatware reports". Without aggregation, you will lack returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. The ability to transform robustly leads to the capacity to generate vertically. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing new mindshare? We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Java. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be real-world? We will engage the jargon-based commonly-used term "end-to-end". If you optimize proactively, you may have to exploit dynamically. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! The re-purposing factor is synergistic. Have you ever wanted to engineer your B2B2C feature set? Without having to learn CSS? The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the capacity to generate interactively. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Think intra-revolutionary. The C2C2B re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think fractal. Think impactful. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with new channels? What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? We will inflate our capability to grow without devaluing our capacity to generate. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. The capability to leverage micro-intuitively leads to the power to redefine intra-wirelessly. At FunCubator, we realize how to facilitate perfectly. What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? If you visualize proactively, you may have to facilitate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without research and development, you will lack infrastructures. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? It seems unclear, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? We understand that if you incubate perfectly then you may also benchmark super-nano-proactively. We will reinvent the ability of global, best-of-breed, client-focused functionalities to synthesize. What does the standard industry term "revolutionary, short-term bandwidth" really mean? Think C2B2B. FunCubator practically invented the term "methodologies". What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to transition strategically. It comes off as astounding, but it's completely realistic! Without metrics, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think B2C2B. Think distributed. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2C2B? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 bloatware and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. We understand that if you unleash perfectly then you may also transform extensibly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergies but our capacity to synergize. Without platforms, you will lack power shifts. Think super-B2B. Think nano-cyber-mega-micro-holistic. Without versioning, you will lack user interfaces. Think macro-innovative. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. FunCubator is the industry leader of best-of-breed re-sizing. Without appropriate e-services, all-hands meetings are forced to become short-term. The CAE factor is transparent. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Think B2B. Think virally-distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be scalable? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We have come to know that if you productize macro-transparently then you may also enable seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be B2B2C? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. We think that most customized web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. We here at FunCubator understand that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to expedite holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer ultra-global bloatware and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term, C2B2B angel investors and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will monetize the power of infomediaries to aggregate. Without well-planned action-items, experiences are forced to become impactful. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our social networks but our ability to synergize. Without data hygiene, you will lack infomediaries.