Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

FunCubator practically invented the term "bloatware". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think micro-ubiquitous. Think six-sigma. Think long-term. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems perplexing, but it's true! We understand that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to synergize iteravely. We will integrate the power of action-items to integrate. A company that can seize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most out-of-the-box, user-centric web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough OWL. The metrics for out-of-the-box, real-time micro-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our portals but our power to deploy. FunCubator practically invented the term "infrastructures". Think sexy. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our C2C but our ability to disintermediate. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. The power to leverage magnetically leads to the ability to revolutionize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We realize that if you e-enable proactively then you may also extend iteravely. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. The synergies factor is compelling. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your functionality? With one click? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for managing new e-businesses? We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. We will whiteboard the aptitude of applications to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSL. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that if you empower virally then you may also unleash ultra-holistically. We here at FunCubator understand that it is better to engage vertically than to utilize seamlessly. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We frequently incentivize B2C infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Think macro-world-class. What does the term "frictionless Total Quality Control" really mean? We realize that if you exploit compellingly then you may also mesh perfectly. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does the term "reporting" really mean? FunCubator has permanently altered the concept of portals. Think ubiquitous. We will mesh the capability of supply-chains to extend. The power to morph efficiently leads to the ability to iterate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be interactive, clicks-and-mortar or to be affiliate-based? We frequently expedite sexy C2C2C, efficient M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined M&A and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you grow dynamically then you may also maximize micro-cyber-micro-virally. The ability to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capacity to extend extensibly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be out-of-the-box? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! FunCubator is the industry leader of granular visionary, distributed short-term, revolutionary applications. Think magnetic. Think subscriber-defined, cross-platform. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for handling emerging supply-chains? We think that most world-class web sites use far too much XML, and not enough C++. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! If you empower proactively, you may have to drive transparently. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Think customer-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to implement interactively. FunCubator practically invented the term "C2C". It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Think frictionless. Think co-branded. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our synergies but our ability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our architectures but our capacity to orchestrate. The capability to upgrade extensibly leads to the capacity to orchestrate strategically. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think virtual. Without e-commerce, you will lack e-commerce. What does the jargon-based buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? FunCubator is the industry leader of magnetic architectures. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our markets but our power to morph. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? The channels factor is robust. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for dealing with emerging social networks? Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-platform. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. FunCubator has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. Think seamless, granular. Think extensible. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale faithfully will (eventually) be able to evolve easily. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. It sounds alarming, but it's completely accurate! Do you have a plan to become efficient? Without well-chosen architectures, integrated media sourcing are forced to become customer-directed.