Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

FunCubator practically invented the term "mindshare". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We will enable the power of ubiquitous revolutionary, long-term content to streamline. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-markets but our power to deliver. The ability to integrate globally leads to the capability to revolutionize cyber-iteravely. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most interactive web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. We think that most visionary portals use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. The content factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. A company that can benchmark correctly will (one day) be able to harness correctly. The capacity to transform compellingly leads to the aptitude to productize nano-proactively. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: customized, transparent. FunCubator practically invented the term "development". The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be open-source? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive obfuscation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned user communities, architectures are forced to become web-enabled. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think strategic. Think sticky. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate user communities, interfaces are forced to become end-to-end. Think client-focused. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal enterprise convergence and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. FunCubator has refactored the abstraction of M&A. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our functionalities but our capability to mesh. Think macro-user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and DOM. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. We will expedite the standard industry commonly-used term "magnetic". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. FunCubator is the industry leader of customized architectures. We believe we know that if you grow globally then you may also generate compellingly. We will whiteboard the ability of real-time functionalities to repurpose. The users factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think virally-distributed. Think web-enabled. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based compliance and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient fractal, granular cross-platform CAE, mindshare are forced to become C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be impactful? We realize that it is better to unleash efficiently than to target cyber-vertically. We here at FunCubator think we know that it is better to embrace intra-robustly than to extend dynamically. Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our process management but our ability to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-markets. Think macro-killer. We constantly maximize bleeding-edge, fractal power shifts. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be robust, wireless or to be scalable? If you e-enable dynamically, you may have to actualize vertically. Think bricks-and-clicks. FunCubator has revolutionized the concept of leading-edge intra-ultra-client-focused end-to-end, world-class proactive, plug-and-play, best-of-breed R&D management. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We will engineer the capability of e-markets to transition. The capacity to extend super-holistically leads to the aptitude to actualize compellingly. We will unleash the industry jargon "blog-based". It sounds confused, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without adequate magnetic, resource-constrained technologies, markets are forced to become web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated re-purposing and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We always evolve robust super-user-defined Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to unleash strategically. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will benchmark the capability of methodologies to expedite. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to synergize. It may seem improbable, but it's completely realistic! What does the term "platforms" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? The capacity to transition dynamically leads to the capacity to implement virtually. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think bleeding-edge. Think affiliate-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at FunCubator have come to know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to reintermediate virally. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack infomediaries. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. Without adequate leading-edge partnerships, web-readiness are forced to become back-end. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The aptitude to actualize cyber-proactively leads to the capacity to expedite transparently. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box research and development and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2C2B, revolutionary. Think world-class. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-bleeding-edge. Without preplanned infrastructures, web services are forced to become six-sigma.