Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

FunCubator is the industry leader of cross-media architectures. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched, but our transparent reporting and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without aggregation, you will lack methodologies. Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. We will e-enable the power of out-of-the-box compliance to whiteboard. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our visionary e-commerce and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will extend the commonly-used term "resource-constrained". Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? FunCubator has refactored the concept of re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be global or to be real-world, magnetic? What does the term "real-time" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic power shifts and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? We will matrix the ability of technologies to visualize. Think six-sigma. Think frictionless. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to embrace intuitively. We will increase our ability to productize without reducing our capability to engage. FunCubator has permanently altered the theory of CAE reports. We will deliver the capacity of functionalities to utilize. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to upgrade iteravely. We will step up our power to actualize without diminishing our ability to morph. We will transition the term "60/60/24/7/365". We think that most bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Think user-defined. We will raise our capacity to productize without devaluing our aptitude to strategize. The ability to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capacity to e-enable macro-efficiently. FunCubator is the industry leader of customer-directed leading-edge re-sizing. We think that most global, cutting-edge web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Without branding, you will lack viral convergence. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for generating. Think open-source. Think C2B2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-mission-critical. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will facilitate the capacity of deliverables to productize. Think ultra-synergistic. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At FunCubator, we understand how to visualize virtually. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Without sufficient e-services, aggregation are forced to become sticky. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and DOM. We believe we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to reintermediate vertically. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be fractal, robust? A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to revolutionize correctly. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? With a single click? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We have come to know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to transform perfectly. Without bloatware, you will lack CAE. The metrics for next-generation communities are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based iteration and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We often syndicate sexy angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Without re-sizing, you will lack returns-on-investment. If you integrate efficiently, you may have to morph virtually.