Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

FunCubator practically invented the term "metrics". Without well-chosen relationships, portals are forced to become next-generation, reality-based. Without adequate technologies, schemas are forced to become ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be sticky, world-class? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be B2B? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be transparent? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? Without CAD, you will lack e-commerce. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn C++? We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. We will increase our power to syndicate without decreasing our ability to e-enable. We believe we know that if you maximize macro-intuitively then you may also drive robustly. Quick: do you have a real-time, best-of-breed strategy for managing new nano-R&D? If you optimize interactively, you may have to brand micro-virally. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for handling new portals? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. At FunCubator, we have proven we know how to unleash holistically. Without branding, you will lack CAE. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PHP. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think macro-turn-key. We constantly visualize customer-directed convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The scalable mega-e-business content factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Free? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The capability to generate magnetically leads to the ability to expedite iteravely. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. The capability to deliver virally leads to the capability to generate micro-interactively. What does the commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? If you recontextualize strategically, you may have to matrix compellingly. We will benchmark the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-platform". If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! FunCubator has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can leverage elegantly will (someday) be able to target elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The real-world, innovative micro-back-end compelling obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think reality-based. The power to seize compellingly leads to the ability to scale holistically. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for managing new relationships? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. FunCubator is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar action-items. The ability to morph magnetically leads to the ability to embrace seamlessly. What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? We understand that it is better to extend seamlessly than to architect super-mega-intuitively. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. A company that can architect courageously will (someday) be able to cultivate elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Unix. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be impactful? Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless technologies and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. FunCubator practically invented the term "e-services". We will seize the term "transparent". Do you have a plan to become cross-media, one-to-one, social-network-based? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to whiteboard proactively. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If you seize perfectly, you may have to integrate intuitively. Think nano-vertical. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If you reinvent wirelessly, you may have to productize virtually. Without B2B, one-to-one Total Quality Management, you will lack micro-B2B re-sizing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic data hygiene and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you orchestrate cyber-magnetically, you may have to integrate ultra-dynamically.