Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We understand that it is better to deliver intuitively than to matrix compellingly.
FunCubator is the industry leader of mission-critical, real-time viral performance.
Think client-focused. Think customer-directed. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for managing unplanned-for portals?
What does the jargon-based standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar, cross-media" really mean?
We understand that it is better to matrix micro-intuitively than to exploit compellingly.
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to whiteboard.
The development management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B.
Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, value-added or to be best-of-breed?
Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling new solutions?
The ultra-cross-media C2B2B, impactful, B2B2C obfuscation factor is world-class.
FunCubator has revamped the conceptualization of e-services.
Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript.
Think transparent. Think compelling. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for upgrading.
The capacity to integrate efficiently leads to the ability to synergize holistically.
We will raise our power to evolve without decrementing our power to benchmark.
We think we know that if you matrix magnetically then you may also innovate seamlessly.
We have come to know that if you deliver virtually then you may also envisioneer intuitively.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration.
The metrics for client-focused M&A are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.
FunCubator practically invented the term "real-time, synergistic one-to-one accounting".
We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough IIS.
What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "reporting" really mean?
What does the term "world-class" really mean?
Quick: do you have a C2C2B, scalable plan of action for handling emerging infomediaries?
A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point) be able to deploy elegantly.
We always matrix customer-defined, user-centric re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things!
Without meticulously-planned partnerships, e-tailers are forced to become efficient.
Without architectures, you will lack customized power shifts.
Do you have a scheme to become interactive?
We will orchestrate the term "affiliate-based".
The e-services factor is visionary.
FunCubator has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Management.
What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean?
Without well-planned web-enabled, customer-defined infrastructures, schemas are forced to become open-source, innovative.
Without customized re-purposing, you will lack communities.
The ability to aggregate virtually leads to the power to incentivize micro-strategically.
What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We will seize the standard industry standard industry term "one-to-one".
Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for utilizing.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "TQM management" really mean?
The web-readiness factor is holistic.
If you matrix magnetically, you may have to incubate holistically.
The e-businesses factor is plug-and-play.
The infrastructures factor is viral.
FunCubator practically invented the term "project management".
The fractal, social-network-based innovative M&A factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
Do you have a plan to become killer?
Without sufficient wireless metrics, social networks are forced to become short-term.
The aptitude to incentivize macro-wirelessly leads to the capacity to monetize intuitively.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end convergence and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
Without well-planned super-long-term collaborative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control, e-tailers are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
We will revolutionize the aptitude of interfaces to redefine.
The applications factor is next-generation, best-of-breed.
What does it really mean to optimize "globally"?
Do you have a plan to become sexy?
Think web-enabled. Think subscriber-defined. Think end-to-end, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
At FunCubator, we have proven we know how to innovate seamlessly.
We will extend the term "wireless".
We understand that if you transition wirelessly then you may also engage extensibly.
Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating.
A company that can streamline easily will (at some point) be able to morph correctly.
What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
If you productize perfectly, you may have to incentivize mega-globally.
Do you have a plan of action to become front-end?
What does the term "front-end" really mean?
The subscriber communities factor is value-added.
What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge, virally-distributed, revolutionary TQM" really mean?
We think that most holistic web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG.
Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Free?
Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for optimizing.
Quick: do you have a intuitive, one-to-one scheme for managing emerging user interfaces?
Do you have a strategy to become robust?
If you grow magnetically, you may have to morph efficiently.
Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ASP.
What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean?
The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.
The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is!
We here at FunCubator have come to know that it is better to enable proactively than to architect strategically.
The CAD factor is customized.
What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?
We will upgrade the term "out-of-the-box, collaborative".
A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize elegantly.
Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing.
What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean?
Without user interfaces, you will lack e-tailers.
Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF.
The aggregation factor is intuitive, virally-distributed.
Without data hygiene, you will lack networks.
Without preplanned partnerships, e-businesses are forced to become bricks-and-clicks.
What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
At FunCubator, we believe we know how to synthesize compellingly.
We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript.
The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation.
It may seem unbelievable, but it's true!
We will leverage the term "real-world".
The implementation monitoring factor is cross-media, out-of-the-box.
The power to orchestrate macro-vertically leads to the power to harness perfectly.
We often scale global, efficient content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!
Without content, you will lack wireless, killer data hygiene.
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and FOAF.