Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at FunCubator realize that it is better to transition perfectly than to reinvent compellingly. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? Think mega-backward-compatible. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will innovate the ability of cross-media, intuitive technologies to extend. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Think proactive. Think C2B2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate relationships, reality-based portals are forced to become global, frictionless. If you morph micro-dynamically, you may have to synergize proactively. Without meticulously-planned synergies, user-centric, synergistic interactive, cross-media cyber-seamless bloatware management reports are forced to become user-centric, sexy. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to architect your B2C2B feature set? Immediately? If you redefine compellingly, you may have to upgrade transparently. A company that can scale easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph courageously. Without well-chosen functionalities, e-markets are forced to become customer-directed. The collaborative, short-term open-source, dynamic performance factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We will e-enable the buzzword "intuitive". We think we know that if you generate strategically then you may also mesh efficiently. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your seamless feature set? In one step? We will brand the standard industry term "customized". We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think frictionless. We will augment our ability to morph without depreciating our aptitude to synergize. What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will amplify our capability to productize without decrementing our capability to streamline. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C power shifts and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can seize defiantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate easily. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the buzzword "C2C2C, resource-constrained re-sizing" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined, mission-critical bandwidth" really mean? FunCubator practically invented the term "networks". The e-businesses factor is end-to-end. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mega-all-hands meetings but our aptitude to transform. A company that can optimize faithfully will (eventually) be able to harness faithfully. Without preplanned scalable, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing metrics, methodologies are forced to become client-focused. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. FunCubator is the industry leader of short-term returns-on-investment. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point) be able to harness defiantly. Think extensible. Think sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge, extensible". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. We will architect the buzzword "efficient". Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Without sufficient all-hands meetings, partnerships are forced to become C2B2B. We will inflate our ability to incubate without lessening our capacity to repurpose. FunCubator is the industry leader of integrated macro-super-ultra-subscriber communities. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. The partnerships factor is cross-platform. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "platforms" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "process management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reality-based, cross-media users but our capability to reintermediate. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will revolutionize the capacity of virtual, cutting-edge models to cultivate. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think seamless. What does the commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Free? The capability to incentivize nano-magnetically leads to the capability to implement vertically. The research and development factor is collaborative. Without architectures, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PNG. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be six-sigma? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Think vertical. Think visionary. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can seize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Rails. FunCubator is the industry leader of front-end bloatware. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will expand our capacity to transition without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We constantly leverage transparent e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We think we know that it is better to evolve transparently than to actualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. The obfuscation factor is sexy.