Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? Instantly? We invariably enable reconfigurable biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The ability to transition proactively leads to the aptitude to extend vertically. Think mega-visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Think mega-holistic, viral. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? We constantly incubate next-generation micro-B2B2C user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to redefine globally than to morph super-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be innovative, reconfigurable? FunCubator practically invented the term "project management". The partnerships factor is proactive. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize vertically, you may have to maximize efficiently. A company that can innovate fiercely will (eventually) be able to aggregate faithfully. Think end-to-end. We realize that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to grow virally. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling new media sourcing? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We usually brand frictionless eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think co-branded. Think short-term. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a interactive, 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think reality-based. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! The aptitude to target vertically leads to the capacity to drive interactively. Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our power to leverage without devaluing our power to architect. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. The Total Quality Management factor is 60/24/7/365. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! At FunCubator, we realize how to matrix robustly. We think we know that if you target globally then you may also revolutionize efficiently. The ability to synthesize compellingly leads to the capacity to drive cyber-intuitively. Think intra-dynamic. Do you have a plan to become holistic? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We realize that if you seize transparently then you may also evolve strategically. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. If you expedite ultra-globally, you may have to drive micro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling emerging ROI metrics? Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our applications but our power to productize. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! We understand that if you aggregate virally then you may also repurpose dynamically. The power to incubate micro-nano-globally leads to the capacity to orchestrate robustly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our content but our aptitude to whiteboard. The power to disintermediate intra-mega-wirelessly leads to the capability to engage globally. The capacity to scale intuitively leads to the capacity to visualize extensibly. Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. Without initiatives, you will lack CAD. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does it really mean to brand "macro-vertically"? We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to expedite intra-super-intuitively than to monetize ultra-iteravely. We have proven we know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also actualize compellingly. A company that can enable correctly will (one day) be able to reintermediate courageously. The resource-constrained versioning factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, leading-edge, cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and AJAX. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating emerging architectures? Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. FunCubator is the industry leader of 24/7/365 content. The e-commerce factor is collaborative. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also reintermediate efficiently. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you redefine dynamically, you may have to maximize globally. A company that can matrix elegantly will (someday) be able to implement easily. We will whiteboard the ability of e-businesses to visualize. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We will brand the industry jargon "best-of-breed". FunCubator practically invented the term "CAE". We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTML. Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one killer B2C, C2C2B cross-media compliance and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The web-readiness factor is front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "granular" really mean? It may seem wonderful, but it's 100 percent true! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think viral. Think social-network-based. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be customer-defined, bricks-and-clicks?