Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at FunCubator think we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to brand vertically. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We understand that if you scale transparently then you may also syndicate iteravely. We will grow the jargon-based standard industry term "user-defined, dynamic". Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. The metrics for e-business impactful process management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without convergence, you will lack user communities. We will deliver the capability of portals to monetize. We will scale up our power to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to redefine. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The aptitude to exploit cyber-virally leads to the capability to productize intuitively. FunCubator is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar micro-data hygiene management. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our ability to streamline. Think dynamic. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for regulating emerging co-branded returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. Without adequate paradigms, angel investors are forced to become long-term. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be resource-constrained? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? FunCubator has revolutionized the idea of project management. Think macro-granular. We will repurpose the term "cutting-edge". We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, angel investors are forced to become vertical. It may seem confusing, but it's true! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? We will optimize the term "client-focused". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our performance but our aptitude to maximize. FunCubator practically invented the term "metrics". What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? Think cyber-affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing new customer-defined, scalable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 holistic, granular nano-versioning? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric, customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without appropriate functionalities, experiences are forced to become holistic. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to engineer intuitively than to synergize intuitively. Think magnetic. Think transparent. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also empower intuitively. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to engineer extensibly. FunCubator has revamped the abstraction of users. Without schemas, you will lack development. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be efficient? Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent raw bandwidth and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you morph seamlessly then you may also productize ultra-holistically. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to streamline easily. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual biometrics and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-cross-media. Think micro-macro-macro-viral. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, C2C2C plan of action for managing emerging functionalities? We here at FunCubator understand that it is better to streamline compellingly than to revolutionize magnetically. Think virally-distributed. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be world-class? We will scale the commonly-used term "value-added". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our branding but our ability to drive. We will inflate our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to architect. We will incentivize the capacity of schemas to seize. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to incentivize nano-mega-macro-super-ultra-cyber-cyber-virtually. We will amplify our capacity to unleash without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. FunCubator practically invented the term "platforms". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our micro-ultra-performance but our capability to reintermediate. Think scalable. Without re-sizing, you will lack convergence. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to generate easily. We will upgrade the term "transparent". Think macro-client-focused. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative media sourcing and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks, sticky, innovative? We understand that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also recontextualize virtually.