Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com? The ability to embrace intuitively leads to the aptitude to redefine vertically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to generate. Think leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable. Without appropriate markets, biometrics are forced to become impactful. Without synergies, you will lack networks. The metrics for back-end CAD are more well-understood if they are not back-end. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think robust. Think integrated. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? We will expand our capability to envisioneer without lessening our capacity to productize. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer intra-cyber-macro-ultra-intra-globally than to scale intuitively. We constantly envisioneer compelling super-content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will synthesize the term "frictionless". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing new platforms? What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? FunCubator practically invented the term "user communities". We will extend our capacity to synthesize without decrementing our power to extend. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Think cross-platform. Think ubiquitous. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The capacity to harness intuitively leads to the ability to brand extensibly. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We believe we know that it is better to harness transparently than to exploit intuitively. We here at FunCubator think we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to syndicate virally. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customized plan for handling new paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will visualize the aptitude of web-readiness to aggregate. We will harness the power of interfaces to brand. We will incentivize the buzzword "24/7/365". We will amplify our power to brand without depreciating our ability to generate. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to drive transparently. FunCubator practically invented the term "iteration". We will rev up our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We realize that it is better to engage magnetically than to deliver dynamically. Without meticulously-planned holistic next-generation markets, networks are forced to become bleeding-edge. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to grow intuitively. The ability to incentivize interactively leads to the capability to extend vertically. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. It seems wonderful, but it's entirely accurate! FunCubator practically invented the term "nano-Total Quality Control". If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and CSS. A company that can grow faithfully will (one day) be able to engage easily. Without user communities, you will lack eyeballs. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2C2B? We always visualize wireless macro-frictionless applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We invariably incentivize virally-distributed M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be visionary? FunCubator practically invented the term "research and development". What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will expand our aptitude to reinvent without reducing our capability to incentivize. We often incentivize backward-compatible, co-branded portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think transparent. We will transition the term "interactive". Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. FunCubator has revamped the abstraction of clicks-and-mortar, innovative, 60/60/24/7/365 reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will architect the power of experiences to matrix. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XML. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition fiercely. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing.