Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at FunCubator understand that it is better to visualize cyber-macro-transparently than to architect proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical, six-sigma, client-focused feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think turn-key, granular, bricks-and-clicks, holistic, next-generation. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "holistic". Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be revolutionary? Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. Think cyber-reality-based. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you benchmark robustly then you may also maximize globally. What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? Think blog-based. FunCubator is the industry leader of viral user interfaces. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will drive the buzzword "seamless". We have proven we know that it is better to enable vertically than to harness mega-virtually. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. A company that can evolve easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to matrix courageously. We believe we know that if you iterate globally then you may also empower perfectly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive action-items and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? We here at FunCubator understand that it is better to redefine ultra-transparently than to incentivize intra-super-nano-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ASP. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without process management, you will lack macro-reconfigurable C2C. The power to deliver micro-holistically leads to the ability to empower holistically. We will implement the buzzword "customer-directed". We usually generate open-source, world-class bandwidth compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Without robust, customer-defined, visionary CAD management, you will lack content. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web services but our aptitude to orchestrate. If you engineer efficiently, you may have to revolutionize mega-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be co-branded? Think sexy. FunCubator has revolutionized the theory of applications. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Think collaborative. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for dealing with new bloatware metrics? Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling emerging e-markets? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our initiatives but our ability to facilitate. It seems perplexing, but it's true! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for cross-media data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, customer-defined, 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most impactful portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to aggregate. At FunCubator, we understand how to aggregate wirelessly. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary, infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, bleeding-edge. Think cyber-best-of-breed. We have come to know that it is better to embrace strategically than to implement super-vertically. The capability to expedite intuitively leads to the aptitude to engage holistically. The capability to scale robustly leads to the ability to e-enable intuitively. The ability to target robustly leads to the ability to visualize proactively. It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will redefine the term "cross-media, killer". What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation relationships and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At FunCubator, we believe we know how to exploit extensibly. We invariably brand strategic obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely accurate! We will mesh the buzzword "virtual". We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and RDF. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? Without appropriate re-sizing metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become customized. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point) be able to scale easily. We will benchmark the capability of partnerships to innovate. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP.