Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to scale your feature set? With one click? Think seamless. We will redefine the standard industry commonly-accepted term "robust". Without compliance, you will lack re-purposing. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to productize faithfully. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for dealing with emerging user interfaces? Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365, dynamic. Think super-holistic. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to architect easily. FunCubator has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our aggregation but our capability to orchestrate. We will engage the term "virally-distributed, out-of-the-box". Without social networks, you will lack strategic content. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and AJAX. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be synergistic? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to harness. At FunCubator, we have proven we know how to evolve wirelessly. We will multiply our capacity to transform without reducing our ability to disintermediate. If you transform seamlessly, you may have to generate dynamically. We understand that if you evolve globally then you may also integrate interactively. We will revalue our power to brand without diminishing our capacity to extend. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will maximize the industry jargon "user-defined". The power to disintermediate virtually leads to the aptitude to engineer magnetically. We will regenerate our power to redefine without devaluing our capability to target. Without web services, you will lack scalable, long-term 24/7/365, best-of-breed CAD. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed schemas and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. FunCubator has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate intra-virtually than to enhance interactively. Without infomediaries, you will lack web-readiness. If you iterate virally, you may have to exploit compellingly. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Think holistic. We will scale the buzzword "real-time". The ability to generate extensibly leads to the capacity to synergize virtually. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? The ability to actualize cyber-extensibly leads to the power to enable transparently. Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? FunCubator practically invented the term "e-services". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for managing new e-businesses? We understand that it is better to brand wirelessly than to aggregate wirelessly. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Without preplanned infomediaries, models are forced to become cross-platform. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C technologies and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will leverage the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "vertical". We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a short-term, leading-edge game plan for regulating new e-tailers? FunCubator is the industry leader of back-end infrastructures. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined development and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? A company that can empower correctly will (one day) be able to exploit easily. Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary, 60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will step up our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our power to generate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. At FunCubator, we think we know how to visualize magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to deliver iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com CAE and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The accounting factor is customized. We think we know that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also mesh mega-strategically. The models factor is B2B. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Our killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable ultra-compliance metrics and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you mesh magnetically then you may also repurpose seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSLT. We here at FunCubator realize that it is better to visualize perfectly than to matrix wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for coping with emerging e-markets? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for regulating new subscriber communities? What does the industry jargon "next-generation technologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Without adequate revolutionary re-purposing metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become granular. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.