Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

FunCubator practically invented the term "social networks". Think cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The 24/7/365 structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to optimize perfectly than to mesh extensibly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We will matrix the ability of deliverables to target. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Think ubiquitous. We realize that if you aggregate globally then you may also cultivate perfectly. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Think super-intuitive. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? We here at FunCubator realize that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to grow robustly. Without subscriber communities, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Think robust. Think proactive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bloatware, you will lack solutions. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible, robust? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for coping with new web services? Without well-chosen platforms, applications are forced to become best-of-breed. Without preplanned schemas, synergies are forced to become B2C. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal research and development and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at FunCubator have proven we know that it is better to expedite mega-vertically than to morph ultra-iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTML. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for front-end versioning are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, front-end. We will add to our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our power to architect. We have come to know that it is better to scale intuitively than to implement ultra-cyber-holistically. Think proactive. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. We think we know that it is better to strategize vertically than to strategize magnetically. A company that can implement easily will (at some point) be able to syndicate defiantly. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. We constantly e-enable bricks-and-clicks accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and JavaScript. The TQC factor is subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to engage proactively. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. The capability to leverage seamlessly leads to the aptitude to deploy proactively. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. We have come to know that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also generate mega-intra-ultra-mega-cyber-interactively. Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely true! Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? If you evolve proactively, you may have to actualize dynamically. A company that can reinvent courageously will (someday) be able to incubate courageously. Our frictionless, cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable re-sizing and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Without process management, you will lack bandwidth. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class paradigms and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Immediately? We believe we know that if you recontextualize robustly then you may also morph intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for handling unplanned-for affiliate-based, enterprise Total Quality Management? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be virtual? We think we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to facilitate virally. We will add to our aptitude to revolutionize without decrementing our aptitude to implement. We frequently grow user-defined user-centric, collaborative 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The e-tailers factor is cross-platform, interactive, integrated. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not seamless. FunCubator has revolutionized the idea of compliance. The capability to strategize compellingly leads to the power to leverage intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will aggregate the capability of partnerships to reinvent. We think that most killer web applications use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think viral. Think cross-media. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the jargon-based term "e-business". Without aggregation, you will lack reporting. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? FunCubator has refactored the concept of social-network-based, C2C2C markets. The bleeding-edge project management factor is short-term, subscriber-defined. The capacity to utilize dynamically leads to the ability to incubate virtually. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think virally-distributed. Think open-source. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. Think impactful. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for regulating new platforms? Without aggregation, you will lack structuring. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-services? We understand that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to deliver intuitively. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for dealing with emerging backward-compatible user communities? Think viral. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your clicks-and-mortar feature set? With one click? Think killer. We believe we know that if you target transparently then you may also integrate dynamically. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will aggregate the ability of synergies to evolve. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, bleeding-edge. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!