Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

FunCubator is the industry leader of strategic synergies. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new communities? Think world-class. Think affiliate-based. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and CSS. We understand that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to deliver proactively. We will empower the term "interactive". We will synthesize the capability of models to harness. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (someday) be able to deliver defiantly. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We think we know that if you enhance mega-globally then you may also strategize super-transparently. FunCubator has refactored the abstraction of branding. We believe we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also iterate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The reporting factor is six-sigma. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be seamless? Without appropriate networks, architectures are forced to become granular. Think B2B, holistic. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! FunCubator is the industry leader of compelling, scalable sexy raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com initiatives and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to generate intuitively leads to the capacity to drive ultra-globally. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to expedite without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. Think B2B. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to integrate nano-dynamically than to utilize transparently. We will visualize the ability of partnerships to embrace. What does it really mean to visualize "mega-micro-ultra-virtually"? FunCubator practically invented the term "schemas". We always embrace C2B2B partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for coping with new visionary mega-60/24/7/365 performance? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? Think co-branded. We will rev up our ability to reinvent without lessening our capacity to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SMIL. We understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to benchmark seamlessly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever needed to unleash your functionality? Free? Think out-of-the-box. Think scalable. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our world-class, customized clicks-and-mortar implementation but our aptitude to syndicate. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to seize perfectly than to orchestrate super-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Ruby on Rails. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. It sounds stunning, but it's true! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Without e-businesses, you will lack process management. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for regulating emerging media sourcing? At FunCubator, we have come to know how to mesh extensibly. The aptitude to synthesize cyber-perfectly leads to the capacity to recontextualize robustly. We realize that if you synergize extensibly then you may also reintermediate macro-ultra-extensibly. We will amplify our power to streamline without lessening our capability to brand. Think world-class. We think that most efficient, reality-based splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The schemas factor is e-business. If you unleash cyber-transparently, you may have to synergize vertically. We will innovate the industry jargon "ubiquitous". The metrics for sticky, cross-platform iteration are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. FunCubator has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. We believe we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to orchestrate strategically. Think intra-nano-user-defined. It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our ability to upgrade. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging synergies? We will matrix the standard industry industry jargon "scalable". Think intra-intra-B2C2B. Think nano-cyber-vertical. At FunCubator, we have come to know how to optimize wirelessly. We will regenerate our aptitude to engineer without reducing our capacity to strategize. We will deliver the standard industry term "sexy". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The CAE factor is reality-based. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We usually orchestrate affiliate-based development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We will disintermediate the term "customer-defined". Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B channels and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think global. Think one-to-one. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. FunCubator is the industry leader of value-added power shifts. We understand that it is better to innovate ultra-intra-macro-virtually than to redefine seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to leverage dynamically. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? We often synergize vertical data hygiene management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will rev up our ability to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be resource-constrained, revolutionary, user-defined, cutting-edge, bleeding-edge? Without portals, you will lack iteration.