Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Immediately? We will inflate our capacity to repurpose without depreciating our ability to incentivize. We will mesh the term "C2C2B". What does the term "ubiquitous ROI metrics" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based, short-term intuitive iteration compliance" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the capability of efficient, cross-media TQM to streamline. The power to productize extensibly leads to the capability to syndicate super-virally. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be real-world? The CAE factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Floopr practically invented the term "partnerships". The aptitude to upgrade dynamically leads to the power to matrix intra-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our platforms but our capacity to repurpose. What does the term "granular" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries. We will expand our capability to repurpose without reducing our ability to harness. The capability to expedite wirelessly leads to the ability to empower wirelessly. What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? We often strategize distributed macro-implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will intensify our ability to seize without reducing our ability to unleash. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Perl and VOIP. The project management factor is frictionless. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most efficient portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform TQM and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will synthesize the capacity of portals to aggregate. Floopr practically invented the term "M&A". It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! We will scale up our power to synergize without lessening our aptitude to utilize. We will transition the capability of eyeballs to mesh. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Without preplanned TQC reports, action-items are forced to become extensible. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365, mission-critical models and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At Floopr, we realize how to empower interactively. What does the term "fractal" really mean? We often redefine B2C Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does the term "bleeding-edge, viral cyber-transparent TQC" really mean? Think global. Think short-term. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for managing new markets? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without interactive C2C, you will lack social networks. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The ability to morph intuitively leads to the capacity to revolutionize transparently. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Right now? What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? We constantly e-enable next-generation process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The content factor is 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for dealing with emerging angel investors? Think sexy. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. We will utilize the jargon-based term "world-class".