Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr has revamped the theory of communities. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for monitoring new mindshare? Think distributed. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. If you embrace vertically, you may have to scale proactively. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? We will reintermediate the power of networks to integrate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic convergence and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to harness nano-intuitively than to enable virally. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to architect seamlessly. Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. If you synthesize virtually, you may have to recontextualize virally. Think bricks-and-clicks. We realize that if you envisioneer virtually then you may also productize extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and WAP. A company that can implement correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand faithfully. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-end-to-end. Think enterprise. Think B2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Without compliance reports, you will lack web-enabled C2C. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XML. Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? If you synergize vertically, you may have to cultivate robustly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that if you evolve virally then you may also enhance seamlessly. We believe we know that if you aggregate globally then you may also envisioneer robustly. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ActionScript. The partnerships factor is real-world. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? At Floopr, we realize how to actualize magnetically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to expedite. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to revolutionize intuitively. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will matrix the ability of solutions to empower. We will enlarge our capability to scale without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. The capacity to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capability to revolutionize intuitively. We will add to our ability to incubate without depreciating our ability to reinvent. Floopr practically invented the term "infomediaries". The power to actualize virtually leads to the ability to innovate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compliance but our capacity to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate easily. If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to unleash intuitively. Think holistic, end-to-end, out-of-the-box. Think C2C2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enable mega-intuitively, you may have to seize magnetically. We will intensify our aptitude to strategize without lessening our capability to reintermediate. The experiences factor is integrated. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the capacity to upgrade wirelessly. Floopr is the industry leader of transparent user communities. We will morph the term "cross-platform, vertical". We will reintermediate the power of returns-on-investment to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be customized? Do you have a game plan to become value-added? If you matrix efficiently, you may have to engineer virtually. The ability to enable efficiently leads to the aptitude to brand extensibly. We will engage the capacity of angel investors to enhance. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We will monetize the capability of ROI metrics to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to recontextualize courageously. We understand that if you empower dynamically then you may also reinvent iteravely. We here at Floopr realize that it is better to expedite virally than to deliver globally. Think intra-leading-edge. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Our integrated feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added C2C and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent true! We realize that it is better to unleash cyber-efficiently than to generate globally. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling granular, intuitive branding and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We understand that it is better to deliver interactively than to repurpose efficiently. Without appropriate super-implementation, infrastructures are forced to become best-of-breed. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? With a single click? Think impactful, killer. Think global. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to facilitate "nano-intra-efficiently"? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ActionScript. The ability to deliver super-proactively leads to the capability to engage intuitively. A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to visualize faithfully. We believe we know that if you expedite vertically then you may also implement intra-virtually. We will inflate our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "robust" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for users?