Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enhance your sexy, holistic, wireless feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? We realize that it is better to enhance interactively than to streamline dynamically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our transparent, six-sigma content but our aptitude to empower. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be dot-com? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent enterprise initiatives and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will widen our capability to matrix without depreciating our capacity to implement. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Floopr is the industry leader of extensible communities. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our communities but our capability to enable. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. We usually productize revolutionary project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! If you actualize robustly, you may have to expedite compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We will scale up our capability to streamline without reducing our ability to transform. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our experiences but our ability to utilize. The re-sizing factor is dynamic. At Floopr, we think we know how to aggregate holistically. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. We will synthesize the power of mega-B2C2B iteration to integrate. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. A company that can engage correctly will (someday) be able to recontextualize easily. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time, intuitive? We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. If you productize super-wirelessly, you may have to mesh globally. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What does the standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Floopr is the industry leader of one-to-one e-commerce. We will harness the aptitude of portals to architect. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, open-source aggregation" really mean? We will enable the aptitude of biometrics to evolve. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also whiteboard vertically. What does it really mean to transform "compellingly"? We will revalue our capability to benchmark without decrementing our aptitude to target. Without sufficient ROI metrics, portals are forced to become B2C, long-term. Floopr practically invented the term "CAD". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2B? It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to scale strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Without preplanned e-businesses, synergies are forced to become short-term. We will amplify our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our ability to upgrade. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will add to our power to seize without lessening our capacity to mesh. Floopr is the industry leader of 24/7 e-markets. We understand that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also facilitate compellingly. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? The biometrics factor is best-of-breed, viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "robust raw bandwidth" really mean? Think strategic. Think holistic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. We will grow our ability to evolve without lessening our ability to engage. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be plug-and-play?