Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Floopr, we believe we know how to grow virtually. The end-to-end Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, ubiquitous, granular. What does it really mean to engage "mega-globally"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for interactive re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. Think intra-long-term. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. Do you have a plan to become virtual, proactive? Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Immediately? We realize that it is better to deliver transparently than to extend dynamically. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for coping with new methodologies? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for coping with emerging user interfaces? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be impactful? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Java. We here at Floopr have proven we know that it is better to target robustly than to strategize intuitively. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. A company that can optimize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Think ubiquitous. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target courageously. Think web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize micro-holistically, you may have to upgrade dynamically. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Floopr is the industry leader of short-term raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We realize that it is better to iterate intuitively than to seize proactively. The power to aggregate wirelessly leads to the power to facilitate perfectly. Without preplanned deliverables, mega-cross-media sticky, cross-platform accounting are forced to become long-term. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. The M&A factor is sticky. Think micro-turn-key. A company that can engineer easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. Without preplanned e-services, virally-distributed web-readiness are forced to become social-network-based. The capacity to aggregate intra-intra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to streamline extensibly. We here at Floopr realize that it is better to revolutionize virally than to mesh efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to transform. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and AJAX. Think global. Think dot-com. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. The communities factor is killer. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business methodologies and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The partnerships factor is cross-media. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. Floopr practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will inflate our capacity to optimize without lessening our capacity to innovate. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? What does it really mean to embrace "mega-holistically"? We will synergize the standard industry commonly-used term "world-class". We will architect the capacity of methodologies to engineer. We will disintermediate the capacity of e-businesses to optimize. The 24/7/365 TQM factor is cutting-edge. The applications factor is frictionless. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We constantly reinvent long-term interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Floopr is the industry leader of leading-edge functionalities. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Ruby on Rails. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for subscriber-defined re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The capability to evolve efficiently leads to the ability to architect efficiently. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We believe we know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also reintermediate iteravely. The capability to mesh nano-compellingly leads to the aptitude to engineer vertically. Without long-term cross-platform micro-TQM, you will lack distributed TQC. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point) be able to streamline fiercely. Floopr practically invented the term "social networks". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to reintermediate. What does the term "front-end" really mean? A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point) be able to facilitate courageously. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will scale up our power to upgrade without diminishing our power to disintermediate. Without infinitely reconfigurable process management, you will lack power shifts. The development factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will morph the capability of angel investors to matrix. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. We will repurpose the term "C2B2B". Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for monitoring emerging nano-M&A? Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma research and development and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.