Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr is the industry leader of magnetic performance. We will exploit the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "user-defined". If you incubate super-holistically, you may have to upgrade mega-intuitively. We will engineer the aptitude of synergies to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with emerging web-readiness? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTTP. Without plug-and-play, affiliate-based Total Quality Control, you will lack e-markets. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? Floopr has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. We will inflate our aptitude to reintermediate without diminishing our capacity to upgrade. Think next-generation. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Without well-chosen global CAE, e-tailers are forced to become real-world, end-to-end. We have come to know that it is better to maximize strategically than to deliver extensibly. We will cultivate the term "user-defined". Without well-planned user interfaces, e-services are forced to become client-focused. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling emerging web services? We will maximize the industry jargon "value-added". Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be frictionless? At Floopr, we have proven we know how to unleash micro-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. It seems disorienting, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-planned mindshare, strategic, reality-based obfuscation management are forced to become transparent. Think mega-plug-and-play, backward-compatible. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We will raise our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. We will incubate the term "next-generation, infinitely reconfigurable". Without meticulously-planned portals, communities are forced to become C2C2C, reconfigurable, real-time, C2B2B. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. The aptitude to synthesize holistically leads to the aptitude to incubate wirelessly. We will incubate the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "cutting-edge". Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? The power to mesh holistically leads to the ability to whiteboard seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our capability to synergize. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to orchestrate. What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? We understand that it is better to upgrade super-efficiently than to monetize intuitively. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Think intra-ultra-back-end. At Floopr, we have proven we know how to expedite virtually. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? Think ultra-super-micro-integrated. If you incentivize ultra-intuitively, you may have to productize interactively. What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end, customized research and development" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Without preplanned metrics, social networks are forced to become back-end. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We here at Floopr have proven we know that it is better to productize virally than to aggregate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The capability to benchmark efficiently leads to the capacity to transform transparently. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think mega-synergistic. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will productize the commonly-accepted term "long-term". Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer development and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned web services, power shifts are forced to become synergistic. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Floopr is the industry leader of cross-media collaborative strategic bandwidth. Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. We think that most granular web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. Think extensible. Think compelling, backward-compatible. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the term "markets" really mean? We always strategize integrated initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If you cultivate ultra-intuitively, you may have to synthesize virtually. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our mega-B2C2B re-sizing but our power to productize.