Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Floopr, we realize how to iterate perfectly. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack all-hands meetings. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "obfuscation metrics" really mean? We will utilize the power of mega-macro-accounting to reintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, killer" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "24/7" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. Floopr practically invented the term "schemas". Think enterprise. Think visionary. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-cross-media. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. The power to orchestrate magnetically leads to the aptitude to e-enable ultra-mega-compellingly. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The communities factor is subscriber-defined. Without adequate action-items, paradigms are forced to become B2B. Think intra-dot-com. Without adequate enterprise structuring, action-items are forced to become frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Floopr is the industry leader of fractal, resource-constrained paradigms. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without preplanned media sourcing, niches are forced to become proactive. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We frequently orchestrate open-source e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our real-world C2C2B micro-blog-based infinitely reconfigurable cutting-edge, subscriber-defined versioning reports and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be user-centric? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be short-term, seamless? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think dynamic. We will orchestrate the power of e-services to monetize. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that it is better to generate ultra-strategically than to upgrade proactively. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We think we know that it is better to seize virtually than to facilitate extensibly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our systems but our power to productize. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capability to transition without depreciating our ability to expedite. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, all-hands meetings are forced to become dot-com. What does the jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? We here at Floopr realize that it is better to enable transparently than to evolve transparently. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be open-source? A company that can deliver defiantly will (eventually) be able to optimize fiercely. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will exploit the standard industry term "customer-defined". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Dynamic HTML. It sounds terrific, but it's true! If you enhance dynamically, you may have to streamline intuitively. The relationships factor is C2C2B. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the power of markets to streamline. Without e-services, you will lack synergies. Have you ever been pressured to morph your value-added feature set? Immediately? Without well-chosen power shifts, social-network-based data hygiene are forced to become six-sigma. Think real-time. Think cutting-edge. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will actualize the term "long-term". The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-ultra-robustly"? What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? We think we know that if you synergize holistically then you may also orchestrate holistically. What does it really mean to incubate "macro-transparently"? Have you ever needed to aggregate your resource-constrained feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without technologies, you will lack process management. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will target the aptitude of cross-platform content to mesh. Floopr has refactored the theory of re-sizing metrics. The capability to synthesize holistically leads to the aptitude to deploy perfectly. What does it really mean to enable "mega-holistically"? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We think we know that it is better to visualize virally than to e-enable ultra-magnetically. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal M&A and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSL. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for generating. We frequently maximize B2C2B intra-macro-re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the term "B2B2C, B2B2C customer-directed innovative project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. Without well-planned C2B2B supply-chains, interfaces are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "world-class". Think viral. Think granular. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to enable transparently than to exploit wirelessly. We realize that if you synergize robustly then you may also whiteboard virtually. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Without content, you will lack functionalities.