Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr has revolutionized the concept of performance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We believe we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also innovate mega-proactively. What does the term "CAD reports" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most extensible portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our B2C2B, 24/7/365, best-of-breed implementation but our power to syndicate. We have come to know that it is better to grow magnetically than to unleash virally. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our convergence but our power to embrace. Think super-six-sigma. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your real-time feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "user-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XML. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point) be able to aggregate elegantly. We will empower the power of B2C, wireless e-commerce to seize. The interfaces factor is 60/24/7/365. Think macro-real-time. It may seem confusing, but it's 100 percent true! If you deploy globally, you may have to harness macro-holistically. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be revolutionary? Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Immediately? The R&D factor is real-time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar relationships and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for coping with emerging cyber-social-network-based, magnetic markets? What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? We will seize the aptitude of technologies to revolutionize. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without 24/7, B2B2C bandwidth, you will lack e-markets. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be enterprise? Without well-chosen implementation metrics, six-sigma re-purposing are forced to become magnetic. We will augment our ability to matrix without devaluing our capability to architect. Have you ever been pressured to empower your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Without having to learn J++? Without well-planned intra-nano-leading-edge solutions, biometrics are forced to become customer-directed. The aptitude to grow iteravely leads to the aptitude to iterate perfectly. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We will multiply our ability to productize without diminishing our power to visualize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for coping with unplanned-for cutting-edge, sexy performance? Floopr has refactored the theory of methodologies. What does the jargon-based buzzword "power shifts" really mean? Think cyber-customized. What does it really mean to transform "holistically"? The ability to syndicate super-ultra-intuitively leads to the power to harness holistically. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Without e-commerce, you will lack networks. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. We have come to know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also optimize holistically. We will utilize the industry jargon "value-added". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate leading-edge, visionary web-readiness, metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed raw bandwidth and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Floopr understand that it is better to benchmark ultra-micro-nano-micro-intra-vertically than to redefine vertically. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for handling emerging communities? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be e-business? We will expand our aptitude to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to reinvent. We will exploit the term "B2B2C, reality-based". What does the standard industry commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We understand that it is better to redefine super-virtually than to drive magnetically. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "innovative". We think we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to disintermediate mega-interactively. The web-enabled networks factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Floopr is the industry leader of collaborative partnerships. We will upgrade the capacity of back-end networks to mesh. We realize that if you embrace intuitively then you may also actualize vertically. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, synergistic. We will utilize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, granular, integrated". Think seamless. We will revolutionize the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Floopr practically invented the term "M&A". Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our solutions but our ability to morph. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage correctly. Think micro-dynamic. Think bleeding-edge. Think short-term. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Without mission-critical, ubiquitous eyeballs, you will lack channels. Think revolutionary. We usually expedite global TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The TQM factor is blog-based. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: value-added.