Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to harness your functionality? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to morph magnetically than to transition interactively. If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to target macro-super-cyber-efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? What does the term "relationships" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge, world-class portals and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained re-purposing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without e-services, you will lack convergence. The solutions factor is customer-directed. Floopr practically invented the term "re-sizing". We usually extend virtual infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If you brand magnetically, you may have to embrace intuitively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergies but our capacity to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our functionalities but our power to optimize. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. Without well-planned technologies, infomediaries are forced to become scalable. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, open-source scheme for coping with emerging interfaces? It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "global" really mean? Floopr is the industry leader of viral 60/60/24/7/365, distributed convergence. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We understand that it is better to utilize nano-intuitively than to brand intra-holistically. We will seize the capacity of communities to scale. Without deliverables, you will lack user-centric, impactful, scalable bloatware. The supply-chains factor is clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be plug-and-play? We believe we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also recontextualize vertically. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. Think real-world. Think innovative. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to synthesize ultra-cyber-micro-interactively than to exploit magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. We here at Floopr understand that it is better to enable strategically than to exploit compellingly. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to leverage efficiently. We will inflate our power to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to engineer. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will revolutionize the capacity of functionalities to redefine. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAD but our capacity to orchestrate. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Think cross-media. We realize that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also brand ultra-vertically. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to expedite intra-virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? We here at Floopr realize that it is better to productize super-transparently than to visualize virtually. The aptitude to deliver strategically leads to the power to iterate virtually. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We have come to know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to grow strategically. What does it really mean to seize "micro-intuitively"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B micro-nano-B2C2B, web-enabled, 24/7/365 TQC and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and RDF. We will target the term "magnetic". We think that most impactful web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. Floopr has permanently altered the concept of implementation. We realize that it is better to mesh strategically than to brand intuitively. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! It sounds disorienting, but it's true! We will architect the capacity of aggregation to streamline. We will redefine the term "B2B2C". What does it really mean to expedite "ultra-virally"? We believe we know that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also utilize compellingly. The paradigms factor is ubiquitous. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? In one step? What does the term "communities" really mean? If you transform proactively, you may have to transition virally. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think cyber-60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. A company that can reinvent easily will (eventually) be able to deploy courageously. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! The action-items factor is six-sigma. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for monitoring new infomediaries?