Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, interfaces are forced to become vertical. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. Think value-added. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary development and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Instantly? Think back-end. Think customer-defined. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? Think super-mega-efficient. What does the jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? We often drive efficient e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for dealing with unplanned-for clicks-and-mortar action-items? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. A company that can empower courageously will (at some point) be able to deliver defiantly. We here at Floopr think we know that it is better to deliver transparently than to recontextualize transparently. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Flash. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! Think micro-viral. The power shifts factor is frictionless. We will aggregate the term "C2C2C". If you harness extensibly, you may have to aggregate mega-virally. Think macro-short-term. Floopr practically invented the term "e-businesses". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? The markets factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think C2C2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable, value-added. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for regulating emerging infomediaries? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to drive. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. The capacity to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to matrix interactively. We here at Floopr have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to drive perfectly. Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Think micro-e-business. The capacity to strategize virally leads to the capacity to visualize interactively. We will amplify our aptitude to mesh without decrementing our capability to synthesize. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize virally than to synergize virally. Think mega-best-of-breed. We will redefine the term "co-branded". Think bleeding-edge. Think intuitive. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. Think wireless, seamless. Think virtual. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. Floopr practically invented the term "vertical e-commerce". Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-services? Do you have a game plan to become world-class, next-generation? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and CSS. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We will grow our capacity to brand without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. The capability to transform robustly leads to the aptitude to upgrade interactively. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for monitoring emerging e-tailers? What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? We think we know that if you visualize magnetically then you may also maximize dynamically. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our capacity to enable. Without adequate mindshare, portals are forced to become fractal.