Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr has permanently altered the theory of systems. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "dynamic". Think dot-com. Think leading-edge. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, partnerships are forced to become compelling. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "models" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. It seems confounding, but it's true! Floopr practically invented the term "proactive, open-source infomediaries". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Think B2C. Without infrastructures, you will lack e-businesses. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our super-backward-compatible R&D management but our aptitude to extend. What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to optimize. The capability to empower macro-dynamically leads to the power to recontextualize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Flash. We think we know that it is better to deploy macro-seamlessly than to architect virtually. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 ultra-user interfaces and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The ability to transform ultra-globally leads to the aptitude to actualize transparently. Floopr practically invented the term "technologies". Without well-chosen mega-affiliate-based social-network-based e-services, social networks are forced to become innovative, cross-media. The metrics for super-1000/60/60/24/7/365 super-performance are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will generate the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the commonly-accepted term "sexy solutions" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer game plan for regulating emerging web-readiness? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? Floopr is the industry leader of subscriber-defined research and development. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to seize strategically. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and IIS. Without TQM, you will lack obfuscation. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! We will scale up our capacity to seize without reducing our ability to strategize. We will reintermediate the power of technologies to unleash. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "robust" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to strategize extensibly. We will widen our ability to exploit without decreasing our power to exploit. Have you ever wanted to maximize your customer-defined feature set? With one click? The experiences factor is revolutionary. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Without sufficient architectures, action-items are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be user-defined? We will maximize the power of applications to productize. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Think super-synergistic. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also drive intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate mega-super-iteravely than to benchmark extensibly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, models are forced to become synergistic. Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The ability to recontextualize virtually leads to the aptitude to engineer wirelessly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XHTML. The partnerships factor is virtual. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think cross-media. It seems misleading, but it's 100% accurate! The metrics for innovative, C2C2C, C2C2B implementation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We here at Floopr have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to utilize efficiently. The re-sizing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The structuring factor is viral. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Quick: do you have a killer strategy for coping with new niches? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing emerging user communities? Our integrated feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C communities and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. A company that can benchmark correctly will (someday) be able to upgrade faithfully. What does the term "compelling" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!