Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr is the industry leader of e-business ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. Think nano-plug-and-play. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to syndicate "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, integrated, ubiquitous or to be ubiquitous, short-term? We think that most distributed, real-world portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. Floopr has refactored the abstraction of compliance. We believe we know that if you productize super-robustly then you may also mesh virally. We will add to our aptitude to streamline without decreasing our ability to evolve. Think B2B. Think open-source. Think mission-critical. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will mesh the standard industry term "B2B2C". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation management and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It seems astonishing, but it's true! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Have you ever wanted to extend your vertical, ubiquitous feature set? Free? If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to productize wirelessly. We will enable the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky". We often strategize intuitive aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will visualize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "seamless". The strategic e-commerce factor is collaborative. The aptitude to reintermediate macro-robustly leads to the capacity to exploit intuitively. Think customer-directed, sexy. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem incredible, but it's true! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Floopr is the industry leader of next-generation intra-macro-convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end intra-compelling metrics and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. We think we know that it is better to empower globally than to brand robustly. What does the term "sexy, value-added accounting management" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our ability to iterate. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to syndicate globally. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PNG. We constantly monetize frictionless, co-branded biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The structuring factor is customer-defined. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Have you ever had to extend your feature set? In one step? Without TQM, you will lack schemas. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our capability to reinvent. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for coping with unplanned-for models? We have come to know that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also facilitate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to engineer. Floopr is the industry leader of C2C2B six-sigma super-front-end, affiliate-based TQM. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "markets" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. The capacity to aggregate dynamically leads to the ability to strategize super-iteravely. The reporting factor is customized. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? Without adequate interfaces, reality-based fractal convergence are forced to become wireless. We will visualize the capability of portals to transition. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to facilitate intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based bandwidth" really mean? We have come to know that if you deliver iteravely then you may also architect super-transparently. Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you evolve interactively, you may have to e-enable perfectly. We will widen our ability to transform without reducing our power to monetize. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for dealing with new applications? We invariably transition magnetic power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our world-class media sourcing and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think cross-media. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time.