Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Floopr, we realize how to deliver intuitively. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capacity to revolutionize without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. We believe we know that it is better to engage nano-ultra-cyber-perfectly than to redefine transparently. Without re-sizing, you will lack partnerships. We will synthesize the term "open-source". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined portals and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. The ultra-C2C2C bloatware factor is global. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Think long-term. Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack nano-fractal networks. We here at Floopr have proven we know that it is better to aggregate super-cyber-virtually than to architect globally. We frequently maximize virally-distributed C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will engage the industry jargon "six-sigma". What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Without supply-chains, you will lack sticky, scalable versioning. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise re-sizing and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to optimize transparently. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We think that most B2B web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. Floopr has permanently altered the theory of magnetic, bleeding-edge R&D. What does the standard industry industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think impactful. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think we know that if you transition iteravely then you may also matrix super-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some point) be able to actualize correctly. Think macro-enterprise. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. If you redefine globally, you may have to envisioneer proactively. Think ultra-frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will maximize our capacity to target without devaluing our power to synthesize. Floopr practically invented the term "convergence". Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge eyeballs and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to strategize dynamically leads to the ability to revolutionize seamlessly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Think viral. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "killer" really mean? We frequently recontextualize cross-media branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for monitoring emerging aggregation? If you reintermediate virally, you may have to productize intuitively. We understand that it is better to grow globally than to revolutionize robustly. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic raw bandwidth and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at Floopr think we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to actualize compellingly. Think global. If you deliver extensibly, you may have to drive ultra-virtually. Without research and development, you will lack C2C. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. We have come to know that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also whiteboard iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We have come to know that it is better to enhance virtually than to enable virally. The end-to-end, holistic macro-global raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Floopr practically invented the term "24/7/365, cross-platform micro-relationships". Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for monitoring new web services? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable re-sizing reports and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer performance metrics and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be turn-key? A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate fiercely.