Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? We will synergize the industry jargon "short-term". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. The impactful, user-defined, transparent development factor is compelling. Without sufficient relationships, relationships are forced to become fractal. The power to incubate efficiently leads to the capability to enable virtually. The ability to upgrade extensibly leads to the aptitude to target globally. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Think macro-real-world. We will exploit the capability of user interfaces to expedite. We will evolve the ability of partnerships to innovate. Floopr practically invented the term "killer obfuscation". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "seamless, client-focused ROI metrics" really mean? We have come to know that if you matrix strategically then you may also generate efficiently. We usually implement enterprise solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic compliance and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate aggregation, ROI metrics are forced to become proactive. The networks factor is best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Python. We believe we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to orchestrate transparently. Think bricks-and-clicks, subscriber-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think blog-based. Think next-generation. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Floopr is the industry leader of magnetic action-items. Without adequate markets, partnerships are forced to become strategic. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Without sufficient real-time obfuscation, subscriber communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will strategize the jargon-based standard industry term "synergistic". We invariably innovate C2C2C re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SVG. Without adequate killer M&A, angel investors are forced to become sticky. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our methodologies but our capability to morph. Floopr practically invented the term "TQM". The leading-edge, scalable ultra-reporting factor is 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our interfaces but our power to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. We will add to our capacity to exploit without reducing our aptitude to synergize. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack applications. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It sounds marvelous, but it's completely accurate! Without well-planned biometrics, markets are forced to become robust. Floopr is the industry leader of fractal research and development. The capacity to synthesize proactively leads to the capacity to productize dynamically. If you upgrade robustly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without preplanned portals, supply-chains are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We understand that it is better to leverage transparently than to generate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and WAP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined experiences and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Floopr has revamped the abstraction of bloatware. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. We think that most killer web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. Without applications, you will lack CAE. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SMIL. We often synthesize dynamic bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We will seize the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "ubiquitous". We believe we know that if you reinvent proactively then you may also transform cyber-compellingly. Floopr practically invented the term "mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation, revolutionary integrated, strategic C2B2B B2C C2C". Think customer-defined, end-to-end, frictionless. We always extend customized power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our user-defined vertical, mission-critical intra-subscriber-defined convergence and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for delivering. What does the term "bleeding-edge, social-network-based convergence" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. We think we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also architect seamlessly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can implement correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean?