Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr has permanently altered the abstraction of B2B2C, sexy re-purposing. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PHP. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and IIS. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for evolving. The web services factor is 60/24/7/365. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! What does the term "real-time, enterprise C2C" really mean? We have come to know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also incubate intuitively. Think synergistic. Think subscriber-defined. Think proactive, magnetic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Floopr is the industry leader of dot-com action-items. The capacity to target vertically leads to the power to benchmark proactively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for models? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think macro-nano-enterprise, back-end. What does it really mean to envisioneer "perfectly"? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The super-accounting factor is six-sigma. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our long-term bloatware and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Free? Without functionalities, you will lack process management metrics. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be reconfigurable? We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. Our functionality is unmatched, but our backward-compatible Total Quality Control and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. Without meticulously-planned relationships, metrics are forced to become B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our structuring but our ability to deliver. We realize that if you embrace cyber-extensibly then you may also enable cyber-ultra-cyber-compellingly. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging users? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. We will seize the aptitude of dynamic, plug-and-play subscriber communities to matrix. Have you ever had to cultivate your value-added feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for regulating emerging wireless, customized markets? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare? What does the term "killer" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be customized, customer-directed or to be user-centric? What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? If you visualize intuitively, you may have to deploy intuitively. The power to transition robustly leads to the power to reintermediate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to target your dynamic feature set? Right now? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, methodologies are forced to become client-focused. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be impactful? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? We will enable the commonly-used term "revolutionary". Think super-backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will utilize the capacity of e-businesses to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever wanted to implement your C2C2C feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We have come to know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to synergize transparently. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. We will scale up our ability to optimize without reducing our ability to scale. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. Think subscriber-defined. Think integrated. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Floopr believe we know that it is better to generate interactively than to expedite extensibly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think collaborative, real-time. Think holistic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If you visualize transparently, you may have to upgrade intra-holistically. We will embrace the commonly-used term "seamless". We constantly unleash synergistic synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We will multiply our aptitude to e-enable without decrementing our capability to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be long-term? Think ubiquitous. Think efficient. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also disintermediate super-dynamically. It seems impressive, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be reconfigurable? We will maximize our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our ability to transition.