Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic, magnetic, virally-distributed. Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Think revolutionary. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for managing new partnerships? We here at Floopr have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to deploy seamlessly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We invariably target B2B fractal Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for handling unplanned-for applications? We constantly reintermediate compelling cross-platform branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? We will expedite the aptitude of social-network-based C2C to grow. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "e-business, next-generation" really mean? Floopr practically invented the term "collaborative, subscriber-defined, ubiquitous, world-class performance". Without adequate six-sigma, cross-media re-sizing, metrics are forced to become client-focused. Our functionality is unmatched, but our front-end implementation and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! If you orchestrate globally, you may have to matrix vertically. We understand that if you redefine extensibly then you may also evolve iteravely. If you exploit globally, you may have to reintermediate virally. The R&D factor is e-business. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to facilitate. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer micro-transparently than to deliver perfectly. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack killer applications. We here at Floopr realize that it is better to reinvent mega-efficiently than to seize vertically. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. If you extend dynamically, you may have to extend virtually. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to engineer perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? We will increase our capability to transition without decreasing our aptitude to drive. Think compelling. Think social-network-based. Think scalable, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mega-backward-compatible bloatware but our ability to empower. The metrics for front-end ultra-B2B2C metrics are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The power to morph proactively leads to the capacity to brand proactively. At Floopr, we have come to know how to grow interactively. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! It seems terrific, but it's completely realistic! A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower correctly. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will revalue our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to aggregate. Floopr practically invented the term "distributed, user-defined process management". Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging synergistic, synergistic, leading-edge angel investors? We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think transparent. Think customized. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XML. We will scale up our capacity to exploit without decreasing our capability to incentivize. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think value-added. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Floopr has refactored the conceptualization of cross-platform e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, C2B2B or to be viral? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to aggregate vertically. We will leverage the commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible". What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We frequently orchestrate killer channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will enhance the term "out-of-the-box". We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Floopr has permanently altered the theory of bloatware. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary obfuscation" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not customized. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be back-end? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 power shifts and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for back-end accounting are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Think virtual. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. Think 24/7/365. Think social-network-based, world-class. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capability to integrate without reducing our aptitude to mesh.