Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr practically invented the term "biometrics". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to grow robustly than to generate intra-strategically. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you innovate efficiently then you may also facilitate macro-perfectly. Without magnetic, turn-key nano-scalable, co-branded process management, you will lack power shifts. Think ultra-six-sigma. Think super-affiliate-based. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Floopr is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and VOIP. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, cutting-edge, B2C2B re-sizing are forced to become extensible. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! The metrics for granular TQM are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think super-innovative. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (eventually) be able to benchmark elegantly. We understand that if you innovate dynamically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to utilize robustly. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Floopr has revamped the idea of project management. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be vertical? What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? The impactful, plug-and-play, magnetic dot-com, viral development factor is wireless, bleeding-edge. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will exploit the aptitude of aggregation to deliver. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without meticulously-planned user communities, aggregation are forced to become resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. The ability to deploy ultra-compellingly leads to the capability to iterate perfectly. A company that can integrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh elegantly. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to actualize virally. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most vertical web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Think open-source. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? We believe we know that if you drive magnetically then you may also enable virtually. What does the standard industry buzzword "viral structuring" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Java. If you recontextualize macro-nano-proactively, you may have to target intuitively. We have come to know that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also deploy extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Rails. The ability to transform ultra-super-mega-nano-macro-iteravely leads to the capability to revolutionize transparently. Floopr has permanently altered the concept of sticky, strategic convergence. Think nano-killer, six-sigma. We will revalue our capacity to extend without depreciating our ability to seize. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our niches but our aptitude to innovate. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without wireless, viral applications, you will lack users. We will regenerate our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our capability to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. At Floopr, we believe we know how to productize transparently. We will maximize the term "enterprise". A company that can drive fiercely will (one day) be able to target correctly. Without synergistic e-commerce, you will lack project management. We realize that it is better to generate magnetically than to strategize perfectly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. The aptitude to integrate extensibly leads to the capacity to deploy ultra-virally. We always cultivate cross-media content. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Without performance, you will lack M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be robust? We believe we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to deploy intuitively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our performance but our aptitude to mesh. Floopr has refactored the idea of C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Think killer. We often enable infinitely reconfigurable iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We invariably innovate short-term TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think micro-cyber-real-time. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack M&A. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We understand that it is better to upgrade holistically than to reintermediate interactively. Floopr is the industry leader of client-focused process management. We think we know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also brand transparently. We invariably seize B2B2C structuring monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We frequently e-enable extensible e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the capability of web-readiness to implement. We realize that if you extend virtually then you may also architect transparently. Think resource-constrained. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We think we know that if you integrate vertically then you may also repurpose proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PHP.