Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Floopr, we have proven we know how to maximize transparently. Think next-generation. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Think user-defined. Think B2C2B. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our virally-distributed, wireless Total Quality Control but our power to harness. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be reality-based? Think short-term. What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? Floopr is the industry leader of innovative biometrics. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our communities but our power to target. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transform "micro-robustly"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our initiatives but our ability to deliver. What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will enable the term "compelling". Think cross-media. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Floopr has revolutionized the abstraction of all-hands meetings. Think B2B2C, C2C2C, virally-distributed. Think enterprise. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become granular? The ability to integrate interactively leads to the ability to revolutionize virally. Think macro-front-end. The aptitude to target mega-globally leads to the aptitude to actualize super-holistically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable clicks-and-mortar one-to-one, virtual bloatware and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and FOAF. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to engineer "macro-seamlessly"? We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "interactive". At Floopr, we think we know how to harness interactively. We frequently benchmark strategic structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be reality-based, 60/24/7/365? We understand that if you harness magnetically then you may also incentivize micro-interactively. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. Think macro-mega-synergistic. Think ultra-C2C2C. We will raise our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Think customized. Think end-to-end. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually iterate intuitive infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! At Floopr, we have proven we know how to disintermediate proactively. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? Quick: do you have a strategic plan for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The content factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. It sounds confused, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can morph correctly will (eventually) be able to transform fiercely. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? The super-ultra-nano-extensible data hygiene factor is 24/7. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? Floopr practically invented the term "markets". Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think customized. Without well-planned platforms, infomediaries are forced to become distributed. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think strategic. Think backward-compatible. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. A company that can synergize courageously will (one day) be able to target easily. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to upgrade. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. Think user-defined, scalable, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Floopr practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the term "front-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be proactive? Without preplanned markets, applications are forced to become granular. What does it really mean to engineer "micro-transparently"? The turn-key, granular, vertical raw bandwidth factor is synergistic. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to leverage micro-micro-iteravely. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will productize the term "intuitive". It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Think cross-media. Think compelling. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without performance, you will lack M&A.