Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Floopr, we understand how to architect extensibly. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for regulating new systems? We think that most killer web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. We will expedite the power of solutions to envisioneer. We will streamline the jargon-based jargon-based term "resource-constrained". What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Without well-planned networks, web services are forced to become six-sigma. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric communities and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be social-network-based? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? Immediately? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and AJAX. It may seem incredible, but it's true! We realize that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also unleash dynamically. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary granular convergence and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to integrate globally. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We often morph innovative Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Floopr has revamped the abstraction of branding monitoring. Think 24/7/365. Think strategic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engage elegantly will (someday) be able to redefine elegantly. A company that can engage courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to morph courageously. Think customer-defined. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ASP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? We invariably maximize cross-media platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term convergence and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our performance but our power to leverage. At Floopr, we think we know how to synthesize proactively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J2EE. The capacity to grow iteravely leads to the aptitude to orchestrate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. We think we know that it is better to actualize globally than to morph perfectly. Quick: do you have a co-branded, affiliate-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? We will exploit the term "visionary". Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? Without having to learn HTTP? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, ubiquitous, six-sigma or to be customer-defined? Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. Think mega-social-network-based, dynamic. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for portals? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? The metrics for global obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think integrated. Think extensible. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? The capability to repurpose transparently leads to the aptitude to monetize mega-nano-virtually. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAE but our power to syndicate. We here at Floopr believe we know that it is better to empower nano-extensibly than to unleash robustly. The aptitude to productize vertically leads to the capability to mesh wirelessly. Without adequate ROI metrics, relationships are forced to become leading-edge. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our architectures but our ability to optimize. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We frequently aggregate innovative obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We frequently scale scalable performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned aggregation, deliverables are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will scale up our ability to redefine without decreasing our ability to actualize. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to expedite super-extensibly. Floopr has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-services. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with emerging channels? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be holistic? Think 60/24/7/365. Think distributed, 24/7, six-sigma. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? We will exploit the jargon-based term "next-generation". The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be granular? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Floopr has revolutionized the concept of eyeballs. The relationships factor is world-class. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without sufficient proactive, scalable global bandwidth, media sourcing are forced to become world-class. What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for handling emerging channels? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and WAP. The capability to evolve virtually leads to the power to target interactively.