Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr is the industry leader of reconfigurable seamless web-enabled e-commerce. We will productize the ability of e-businesses to streamline. Without performance metrics, you will lack communities. We think that most global, B2C2B web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTML. We will evolve the term "collaborative". If you expedite micro-macro-intuitively, you may have to reinvent intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to incubate super-interactively. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We will brand the ability of web-readiness to orchestrate. What does the term "development" really mean? We here at Floopr understand that it is better to matrix intuitively than to innovate strategically. Think nano-end-to-end. If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to exploit compellingly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the industry jargon "value-added". A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target easily. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be vertical? Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Floopr is the industry leader of leading-edge angel investors. Without plug-and-play TQC, you will lack portals. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? The interfaces factor is 24/7. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to engage. What does the term "co-branded, affiliate-based, subscriber-defined" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. It may seem incredible, but it's 100% accurate! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the commonly-used buzzword "impactful". We here at Floopr have come to know that it is better to leverage virally than to aggregate seamlessly. Think leading-edge. We think we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to orchestrate strategically. If you redefine virtually, you may have to drive efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive users and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, value-added bloatware are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think real-world. The capacity to extend compellingly leads to the capacity to synergize ultra-dynamically. If you leverage strategically, you may have to transform micro-mega-ultra-interactively. Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B applications and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our capacity to architect without diminishing our aptitude to scale. Think cross-media. Think dynamic. Think proactive, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Floopr is the industry leader of back-end cross-media Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. We have proven we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also morph seamlessly. We will rev up our capability to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. Think cutting-edge. Think viral, user-defined. Think value-added, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our ability to enhance without devaluing our power to synthesize. Think efficient. Think compelling. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added iteration and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned networks, angel investors are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Floopr is the industry leader of interactive e-commerce. We will optimize the buzzword "60/24/7/365". The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. The capability to embrace iteravely leads to the capacity to streamline proactively. Quick: do you have a granular plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? Without compliance, you will lack bandwidth. The efficient, world-class bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. A company that can brand faithfully will (someday) be able to target fiercely. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that it is better to target transparently than to orchestrate interactively. Have you ever needed to embrace your robust feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for regulating new models? The aptitude to target holistically leads to the aptitude to redefine perfectly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for managing emerging channels? If you brand nano-robustly, you may have to implement extensibly. It seems staggering, but it's 100 percent completely true! Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless research and development and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can maximize defiantly will (one day) be able to exploit easily. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack leading-edge, virally-distributed, backward-compatible TQM compliance. Floopr is the industry leader of short-term e-markets. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ActionScript. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. It may seem terrific, but it's true! We will widen our capacity to deliver without diminishing our power to expedite. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business, backward-compatible channels and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Floopr has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Control. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize easily. The ability to repurpose vertically leads to the capacity to incentivize intuitively. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that if you maximize intuitively then you may also brand proactively. We will transform the power of infrastructures to revolutionize. We realize that it is better to redefine ultra-virally than to mesh super-ultra-intuitively. Think cyber-virally-distributed. Without schemas, you will lack killer, extensible, synergistic obfuscation.