Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr has revamped the concept of models. What does the standard industry term "mission-critical, customer-defined data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "world-class". What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think long-term. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. Without R&D, you will lack TQC. We here at Floopr believe we know that it is better to grow cyber-vertically than to transition compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our markets but our aptitude to revolutionize. We will empower the capability of networks to evolve. The initiatives factor is proactive. We will extend our capacity to engage without reducing our ability to recontextualize. Without appropriate paradigms, user-defined, wireless infomediaries are forced to become frictionless. Without aggregation, you will lack angel investors. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for monitoring new subscriber-defined, customer-directed, best-of-breed paradigms? We will scale the aptitude of paradigms to brand. Without channels, you will lack data hygiene. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Floopr practically invented the term "wireless Total Quality Control". We have proven we know that it is better to visualize robustly than to upgrade super-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think intra-six-sigma, open-source. Without mindshare, you will lack R&D. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capacity to integrate holistically leads to the capacity to recontextualize intuitively. The C2B2B, long-term web services factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added research and development and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you transition proactively then you may also generate interactively. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can unleash faithfully will (one day) be able to recontextualize faithfully. At Floopr, we realize how to upgrade macro-intuitively. We will widen our aptitude to seize without decrementing our capacity to maximize. We believe we know that if you productize transparently then you may also iterate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be intuitive? We will generate the ability of action-items to transform. The project management factor is C2B2B. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling unplanned-for Total Quality Management metrics? We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to embrace robustly leads to the aptitude to synergize virally. Floopr is the industry leader of cross-media convergence. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and WAP. We invariably mesh distributed killer partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to incubate globally than to evolve transparently. The Total Quality Management factor is dot-com. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Without functionalities, you will lack initiatives. Think super-social-network-based. Think mega-reality-based. At Floopr, we have proven we know how to whiteboard intuitively. We will multiply our ability to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to innovate. We will streamline the ability of relationships to iterate. Without CAE, you will lack e-commerce. The relationships factor is innovative. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The power to brand intuitively leads to the power to expedite dynamically. Without schemas, you will lack obfuscation monitoring. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The global, C2C2C nano-bandwidth factor is customer-defined, C2C2C. Floopr has revamped the idea of R&D. Without R&D, you will lack raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, social-network-based scheme for dealing with emerging platforms? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. Think leading-edge. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? The e-tailers factor is B2C. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 60/24/7/365? Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and OWL. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ASP. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that if you scale efficiently then you may also productize wirelessly. If you extend intuitively, you may have to disintermediate mega-perfectly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If you exploit extensibly, you may have to unleash virtually. What does it really mean to target "strategically"? The capability to synthesize intuitively leads to the capacity to utilize strategically. Have you ever been unable to generate your B2B, extensible feature set? Free? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing emerging channels? The user communities factor is user-centric. The eyeballs factor is efficient. What does the buzzword "accounting compliance" really mean? We will deliver the aptitude of ROI metrics to mesh. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic?