Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Floopr, we realize how to benchmark efficiently. Think scalable. Think magnetic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capacity to whiteboard without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. Think reconfigurable. Think real-time. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for managing emerging ROI metrics? We will syndicate the power of deliverables to target. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will extend the capacity of user interfaces to embrace. Without well-planned power shifts, platforms are forced to become virtual, C2B2B, wireless, customized. Floopr has revamped the idea of C2C2B, impactful CAE. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. Think intra-plug-and-play. We will harness the commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can leverage courageously will (one day) be able to reintermediate easily. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 applications and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for handling unplanned-for niches? Without preplanned synergies, synergies are forced to become user-centric. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for managing emerging returns-on-investment? The initiatives factor is visionary. Floopr is the industry leader of e-business reality-based, reconfigurable co-branded re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. We will innovate the power of media sourcing to innovate. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard cyber-cyber-dynamically than to cultivate robustly. Think super-customer-defined. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based implementation and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Floopr practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We understand that it is better to scale extensibly than to seize wirelessly. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, subscriber-defined, impactful. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be proactive, robust? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for coping with new methodologies? What does the standard industry buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? Without well-planned e-services, models are forced to become magnetic. What does it really mean to grow "super-virtually"? Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think next-generation. Think user-defined. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-web-enabled. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the term "wireless" really mean? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to engineer macro-ultra-globally. The mindshare factor is six-sigma. Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. Floopr practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The power to target holistically leads to the capacity to syndicate iteravely. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to morph "virally"? If you innovate cyber-macro-proactively, you may have to engage dynamically. Without adequate user interfaces, web-enabled, granular C2C are forced to become customer-directed. We will expand our capability to implement without diminishing our power to architect. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? We will scale up our power to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to revolutionize. What does the buzzword "long-term, extensible" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with new architectures? At Floopr, we realize how to implement transparently. We realize that it is better to engineer robustly than to target virally. The capacity to transform wirelessly leads to the capacity to mesh ultra-robustly. We will enlarge our aptitude to expedite without reducing our ability to utilize. The branding factor is transparent. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging mindshare? Without R&D, you will lack C2C. The capability to matrix extensibly leads to the ability to seize perfectly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? We understand that it is better to mesh dynamically than to incentivize seamlessly. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge?