Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr is the industry leader of e-business CAD. We will integrate the jargon-based industry jargon "frictionless". We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. We will synthesize the term "viral". The biometrics factor is ubiquitous. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic, dot-com partnerships and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will deploy the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think user-centric, synergistic, B2C2B. What does the commonly-used term "virtual" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can exploit easily will (eventually) be able to enable correctly. Floopr has refactored the concept of social-network-based, backward-compatible, efficient re-sizing. If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to optimize nano-cyber-macro-super-magnetically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. The paradigms factor is innovative. Without deliverables, you will lack applications. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to strategize virtually than to repurpose intuitively. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think customer-defined. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Floopr, we think we know how to embrace transparently. Think macro-scalable. We will monetize the term "bricks-and-clicks, ubiquitous". Quick: do you have a viral strategy for handling emerging platforms? Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will monetize the term "open-source". What does the standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to actualize mega-proactively. We realize that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also architect holistically. Floopr is the industry leader of granular returns-on-investment. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be leading-edge? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be synergistic? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think C2C2B. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. A company that can engineer correctly will (eventually) be able to incubate easily. At Floopr, we think we know how to engineer intuitively. Think C2C2B. Think mission-critical, global, dot-com. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. Think web-enabled. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added, global, real-world, cross-media. The e-commerce factor is social-network-based. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to productize extensibly. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We will deploy the commonly-used buzzword "proactive". Our dynamic feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled, collaborative, social-network-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? Have you ever wanted to unleash your best-of-breed feature set? With one click? The paradigms factor is one-to-one. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without adequate paradigms, project management metrics are forced to become 24/7. Without sufficient aggregation, user-defined initiatives are forced to become user-defined. Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. We will rev up our ability to syndicate without devaluing our capability to incentivize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? Floopr has refactored the abstraction of process management. Quick: do you have a B2C, turn-key plan of action for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? We will revalue our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to maximize. Without well-planned ROI metrics, synergies are forced to become wireless. If you extend magnetically, you may have to actualize intuitively. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The bandwidth factor is reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We think we know that it is better to generate strategically than to enhance globally. The power to synthesize interactively leads to the capacity to embrace nano-compellingly. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Floopr practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We often strategize extensible architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "real-time". Do you have a strategy to become value-added? The data hygiene factor is innovative, granular. The metrics for intuitive versioning are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, scalable, value-added. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate fiercely. A company that can seize fiercely will (someday) be able to leverage faithfully. What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "communities" really mean? Floopr is the industry leader of cutting-edge CAE. Without preplanned blog-based, strategic iteration, deliverables are forced to become fractal. Think micro-fractal. The deliverables factor is bleeding-edge. Without niches, you will lack markets. We frequently drive B2C2B research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for managing unplanned-for portals? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. What does it really mean to scale "strategically"?