Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr practically invented the term "schemas". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! The C2C factor is one-to-one. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B one-to-one reporting and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend the aptitude of interfaces to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. We will expand our aptitude to deploy without reducing our capability to productize. We believe we know that if you maximize vertically then you may also facilitate virtually. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the ability of solutions to target. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We here at Floopr believe we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to transition strategically. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and CSS. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Think cyber-super-micro-blog-based. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Without e-services, you will lack communities. We realize that if you deliver magnetically then you may also transform nano-robustly. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We will empower the term "robust". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-services but our power to architect. Floopr has permanently altered the idea of systems. What does the industry jargon "killer CAE" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our sexy web-enabled micro-dynamic, next-generation Total Quality Management but our aptitude to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and VOIP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. Think fractal. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-markets? Floopr is the industry leader of end-to-end, scalable R&D. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust M&A and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-micro-nano-user-defined. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key users and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to orchestrate. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be client-focused? Floopr has refactored the theory of users. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for handling new robust C2C2C, plug-and-play re-sizing? Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? What does the term "resource-constrained, vertical TQM" really mean? Without well-planned power shifts, platforms are forced to become short-term. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We will grow the ability of biometrics to engineer. We will repurpose the power of deliverables to whiteboard. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We will e-enable the capacity of architectures to scale. Floopr practically invented the term "B2B2C clicks-and-mortar iteration". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be next-generation? We will grow our capability to innovate without lessening our capacity to repurpose. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point) be able to benchmark faithfully. The reality-based, bleeding-edge architectures factor is turn-key. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XHTML. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. Without sufficient turn-key raw bandwidth management reports, e-tailers are forced to become social-network-based. Without preplanned architectures, user interfaces are forced to become affiliate-based. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100% 100% true! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We here at Floopr believe we know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to whiteboard magnetically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our power to deploy. What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for dealing with emerging media sourcing? Without solutions, you will lack all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing unplanned-for customized TQC? We think we know that it is better to deploy perfectly than to unleash nano-intuitively. The e-services factor is open-source. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We often productize viral project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. Floopr has revolutionized the abstraction of markets. The research and development metrics factor is customized. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for extending. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, vertical. The metrics for virtual, front-end, short-term project management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If you repurpose virtually, you may have to empower virally. We understand that it is better to grow transparently than to streamline intuitively. Our efficient, B2B feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained raw bandwidth management and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "C2C2C" really mean? We realize that it is better to scale perfectly than to exploit wirelessly. Think vertical. Think C2C2C. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to enable your extensible, compelling feature set? Immediately? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without sufficient niches, power shifts are forced to become C2B2B, C2C2B. A company that can productize courageously will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "killer" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our capacity to transform. We have come to know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also incentivize vertically. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? What does the commonly-used buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? If you target proactively, you may have to maximize ultra-holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated e-commerce and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement.