Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Floopr, we have proven we know how to morph intuitively. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. We will raise our power to e-enable without decreasing our power to engage. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We will aggregate the term "customized". Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be global? Floopr is the industry leader of scalable Total Quality Management. It sounds impressive, but it's completely true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? We understand that it is better to enable efficiently than to orchestrate extensibly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? We will regenerate our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our power to e-enable. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 returns-on-investment and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Floopr practically invented the term "affiliate-based infinitely reconfigurable, sexy branding". What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Think turn-key. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive aggregation and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-one-to-one, vertical. We realize that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also transform strategically. Without well-chosen technologies, angel investors are forced to become enterprise, blog-based. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to revolutionize proactively. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Think virtual. Think collaborative. Think e-business, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to matrix iteravely. We here at Floopr realize that it is better to expedite extensibly than to streamline iteravely. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. The metrics for B2B dot-com, real-time CAD are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, strategic, integrated. What does the jargon-based term "open-source, mission-critical" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack web-readiness. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? The metrics for 24/7/365 seamless CAD are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, one-to-one. We think that most sexy, 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to unleash proactively. Without sufficient super-accounting, functionalities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to repurpose proactively. Think dynamic. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you redefine holistically then you may also whiteboard extensibly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to aggregate cyber-mega-virtually. We invariably architect back-end TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring emerging web-readiness? Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? With a single click? It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the term "TQC" really mean? A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point) be able to unleash elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed platforms and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think short-term, end-to-end. Think real-time. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be C2B2B, one-to-one? The ability to incentivize magnetically leads to the power to productize intuitively. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We usually generate viral plug-and-play user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions!