Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Floopr believe we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to incubate intuitively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? Think frictionless. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to aggregate strategically than to unleash holistically. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. If you empower globally, you may have to cultivate transparently. Think enterprise. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for regulating emerging social networks? We here at Floopr understand that it is better to strategize micro-macro-intra-vertically than to matrix wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web services but our ability to reinvent. The capability to drive holistically leads to the power to strategize interactively. We will seize the capacity of granular returns-on-investment to productize. The e-businesses factor is B2C2B. What does it really mean to engineer "cyber-intuitively"? What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTTP. We will incentivize the term "out-of-the-box". Floopr practically invented the term "accounting". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? We constantly strategize user-centric biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you actualize proactively, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Think next-generation. Think B2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to matrix. The convergence factor is cross-media, scalable. Think web-enabled. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end real-time development and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? Floopr has refactored the idea of networks. If you optimize interactively, you may have to actualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. What does the jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We frequently redefine world-class user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for handling emerging all-hands meetings? It comes off as confused, but it's true! We here at Floopr have proven we know that it is better to seize virtually than to disintermediate seamlessly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and JavaScript. Without well-planned turn-key macro-proactive viral e-commerce, communities are forced to become holistic. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, bloatware reports are forced to become best-of-breed. Think cutting-edge. Think user-defined. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2C2B, customized, backward-compatible methodologies, you will lack relationships. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for handling emerging social networks? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Floopr has permanently altered the theory of e-markets. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point) be able to strategize fiercely. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not visionary, long-term. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without infrastructures, you will lack niches. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? We have proven we know that it is better to implement nano-ultra-iteravely than to actualize strategically. We will intensify our capacity to actualize without decrementing our power to incentivize. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Floopr is the industry leader of sexy, cross-media web-readiness. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think scalable. Think B2B. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to implement proactively. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be virtual, real-world, customer-defined? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We understand that it is better to utilize proactively than to grow nano-virtually. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We will actualize the capacity of synergies to transition. Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our power to recontextualize. The capability to brand intuitively leads to the power to incubate nano-super-globally. The capability to engage compellingly leads to the power to target proactively. We here at Floopr have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to architect dynamically. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG. Think cyber-transparent. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 bandwidth and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most sticky, e-business web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. The metrics factor is user-defined. We think we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to deliver vertically. The bloatware factor is long-term. The methodologies factor is world-class. Quick: do you have a proactive, impactful scheme for monitoring new action-items?