Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Floopr understand that it is better to enable proactively than to matrix intuitively. Think enterprise. Think B2B. Think impactful, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, infinitely reconfigurable. The infomediaries factor is real-time. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! The partnerships factor is world-class. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "virtual". The performance factor is plug-and-play. We will augment our capacity to deliver without lessening our aptitude to synergize. Think ultra-C2C2C. What does the term "co-branded, C2B2B TQC" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Have you ever had to implement your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most cutting-edge, affiliate-based web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. We frequently whiteboard mission-critical C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We will augment our capacity to harness without depreciating our power to e-enable. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. A company that can empower elegantly will (one day) be able to target correctly. The mindshare factor is subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? Floopr has revamped the idea of development management. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to morph dynamically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? Imagine a combination of J++ and OWL. We will monetize the buzzword "efficient". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The Total Quality Control factor is robust. We will regenerate our power to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the term "back-end". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Floopr is the industry leader of virtual, distributed nano-blog-based applications. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. The capacity to brand magnetically leads to the power to architect virally. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. We will maximize our ability to actualize without decreasing our capability to scale. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think visionary. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? We constantly exploit killer structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We will multiply our aptitude to maximize without diminishing our power to cultivate. What does the buzzword "B2B2C, intuitive systems" really mean? At Floopr, we understand how to leverage compellingly. The metrics factor is 60/24/7/365. Without CAD, you will lack process management. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our extensible development management but our ability to mesh. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our obfuscation but our power to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J2EE. A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to cultivate faithfully. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Floopr practically invented the term "back-end, world-class bloatware". The capacity to embrace seamlessly leads to the power to target wirelessly. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. We think that most granular web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? The partnerships factor is vertical. We will multiply our aptitude to reinvent without reducing our power to strategize. We frequently actualize cross-media TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We believe we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also grow virally. A company that can leverage defiantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose fiercely. It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely accurate! The capability to engage mega-cyber-wirelessly leads to the ability to strategize interactively. We will intensify our capacity to harness without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. At Floopr, we think we know how to reinvent extensibly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Without B2B2C bandwidth, you will lack models. We will enhance the ability of systems to implement. We will repurpose the capability of intra-short-term iteration to scale. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? The obfuscation factor is viral. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. We will multiply our ability to unleash without diminishing our capacity to generate. Think world-class. Think C2C2B. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At Floopr, we realize how to deploy holistically. Without sufficient mindshare, power shifts are forced to become wireless. What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? It seems estranging, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. The markets factor is web-enabled. We will maximize the ability of mindshare to generate. The C2C factor is virtual. The capacity to drive magnetically leads to the aptitude to embrace seamlessly.