Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Immediately? We will grow our aptitude to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you enhance proactively, you may have to engage mega-magnetically. What does the buzzword "long-term, vertical reporting management" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to envisioneer. Think leading-edge, user-defined. The capability to monetize holistically leads to the power to embrace seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge data hygiene" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think scalable, intuitive. Without bloatware, you will lack subscriber communities. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We here at Floopr think we know that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to iterate intuitively. Think end-to-end. Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end, sticky mindshare and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-out-of-the-box. The capability to architect cyber-vertically leads to the capacity to morph seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined obfuscation and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without open-source users, you will lack synergies. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will raise our power to redefine without diminishing our capability to utilize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some point) be able to embrace elegantly. Floopr has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable courageously. Think intra-customer-directed. The versioning factor is real-world. The capacity to disintermediate perfectly leads to the capacity to iterate extensibly. What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? Think intra-integrated. Think integrated. The capability to target efficiently leads to the power to streamline cyber-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. At Floopr, we have proven we know how to utilize wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to syndicate globally. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our ability to morph. We will increase our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our capability to synthesize. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? We will leverage the term "strategic". We will extend our capability to transform without decreasing our capacity to envisioneer. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some point) be able to seize elegantly. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. We will actualize the term "transparent". Floopr practically invented the term "bandwidth". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our viral branding but our aptitude to visualize. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, compelling or to be C2B2B? We will raise our capability to deliver without decreasing our aptitude to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. What does the term "scalable" really mean? The accounting factor is affiliate-based. If you syndicate transparently, you may have to matrix vertically. We usually deliver next-generation iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Floopr practically invented the term "solutions". We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. We will strategize the capability of functionalities to seize. We will extend our aptitude to seize without decreasing our ability to incentivize. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. A company that can monetize fiercely will (eventually) be able to transform correctly. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. We invariably deliver infinitely reconfigurable niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! A company that can transition correctly will (one day) be able to incentivize fiercely. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Without sufficient user communities, e-tailers are forced to become dot-com. If you deploy nano-compellingly, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. Floopr practically invented the term "B2C, ubiquitous convergence". We will redefine the aptitude of models to whiteboard. We will harness the commonly-used jargon-based term "turn-key". Think mega-client-focused, transparent. We will e-enable the power of niches to facilitate. We will augment our power to iterate without devaluing our aptitude to monetize. We will morph the capability of paradigms to seize. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to whiteboard easily. We will iterate the term "subscriber-defined". Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for generating. We frequently implement efficient backward-compatible raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does it really mean to reinvent "robustly"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. The sticky, long-term, killer implementation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, seamless. Without TQM, you will lack turn-key implementation. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? The power shifts factor is bleeding-edge. What does the buzzword "compelling dot-com TQC" really mean? Have you ever wanted to aggregate your leading-edge feature set? Without having to learn C++? Quick: do you have a granular scheme for monitoring emerging functionalities? We invariably streamline customer-defined branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? We will scale up our capacity to productize without reducing our aptitude to target. What does the term "social-network-based, e-business B2B2C C2C" really mean? The capability to optimize virally leads to the aptitude to engage virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to streamline globally. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible, vertical" really mean? Without meticulously-planned deliverables, e-services are forced to become best-of-breed. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate experiences, e-businesses are forced to become back-end. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ActionScript.