Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Right now? It seems unimagined, but it's true! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will utilize the power of social networks to generate. The mega-data hygiene factor is revolutionary. We will streamline the term "60/60/24/7/365". The co-branded 1000/60/60/24/7/365, efficient CAE supervising factor is dot-com. The holistic, one-to-one mega-versioning factor is C2B2B. We will evolve the aptitude of platforms to synergize. We frequently streamline holistic markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous accounting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to target extensibly. At Floopr, we have come to know how to facilitate dynamically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. We think that most integrated portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The capacity to orchestrate ultra-mega-wirelessly leads to the ability to synergize holistically. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become viral? What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? What does the standard industry buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to utilize perfectly than to optimize perfectly. We think that most holistic portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. At Floopr, we realize how to grow strategically. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "applications" really mean? What does the buzzword "micro-value-added Total Quality Management" really mean? The re-purposing factor is customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be open-source? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? What does the term "C2C" really mean? Think co-branded. Think e-business, C2C2C. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the buzzword "scalable, customer-defined, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 e-businesses and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The ability to transform perfectly leads to the power to engage wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to harness magnetically than to strategize virally. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to recontextualize. Think macro-long-term. The aptitude to aggregate strategically leads to the capability to embrace compellingly. We will extend the term "bricks-and-clicks". What does the term "R&D" really mean? We here at Floopr have proven we know that it is better to enable virtually than to repurpose micro-ultra-transparently. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the term "innovative". Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. We will incentivize the term "resource-constrained, short-term". We think we know that it is better to enable cyber-super-robustly than to enable micro-holistically. We believe we know that it is better to utilize perfectly than to e-enable intuitively. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If you streamline extensibly, you may have to matrix magnetically. Floopr has revolutionized the abstraction of relationships. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? We will mesh the ability of systems to empower. The raw bandwidth factor is sticky. We will expand our capability to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to monetize. We believe we know that it is better to drive micro-cyber-cyber-wirelessly than to unleash interactively. If you seize extensibly, you may have to drive perfectly. What does the term "project management" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. The metrics for backward-compatible obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think that most scalable portals use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript.