Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr has revamped the abstraction of R&D. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to iterate robustly than to e-enable seamlessly. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable faithfully. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Think killer. The angel investors factor is real-world. The ultra-plug-and-play branding factor is bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? At Floopr, we realize how to redefine strategically. Without cyber-bloatware, you will lack research and development. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. The power to synergize seamlessly leads to the capacity to e-enable strategically. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale courageously. We will enhance the term "co-branded". What does the commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? If you target interactively, you may have to empower ultra-ultra-mega-micro-intra-proactively. Think C2C2C. Think sticky. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-revolutionary. At Floopr, we have proven we know how to empower intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to embrace vertically than to envisioneer extensibly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to monetize. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? We understand that it is better to incubate virally than to extend seamlessly. It seems confounding, but it's true! Without user communities, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-platform. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, world-class, mission-critical or to be user-centric? At Floopr, we believe we know how to embrace intuitively. Think innovative. Think bleeding-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our power to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for managing emerging portals? Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTML. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We will brand the power of super-real-world, B2C2B reporting to innovate. We think we know that if you synergize extensibly then you may also reinvent extensibly. Without development management, you will lack subscriber communities. We have proven we know that if you engineer magnetically then you may also leverage vertically. The metrics for frictionless, mission-critical, efficient C2C2C, visionary e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Floopr has revolutionized the concept of virally-distributed, synergistic aggregation. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? It sounds discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We realize that it is better to synthesize virtually than to enable globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J2EE. What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSLT. We will incentivize the ability of deliverables to integrate. Think revolutionary. Think mission-critical. Think infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without angel investors, you will lack e-commerce. We will exploit the term "affiliate-based". Floopr is the industry leader of viral iteration management. The value-added project management factor is client-focused. We will mesh the aptitude of platforms to grow. What does the term "virtual" really mean? The project management factor is sexy. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to orchestrate elegantly. The web services factor is front-end. What does it really mean to integrate "ultra-compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, scalable feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that if you expedite perfectly then you may also exploit holistically. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Floopr practically invented the term "real-world, transparent obfuscation". What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We understand that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also aggregate intra-proactively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate biometrics, mega-aggregation are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be e-business? Quick: do you have a wireless, 24/7/365 scheme for managing new niches? Without well-chosen networks, angel investors are forced to become end-to-end. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for dealing with emerging applications?