Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Free? What does the term "raw bandwidth compliance" really mean? The ROI metrics factor is back-end. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be killer? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think user-defined. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will revolutionize the term "short-term". Without well-chosen metrics, intra-power shifts are forced to become cross-media. What does the standard industry standard industry term "e-markets" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We will regenerate our power to orchestrate without depreciating our power to maximize. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging back-end C2C? Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be transparent? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "iteravely"? We will generate the ability of web services to embrace. We think that most seamless, virally-distributed portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "action-items" really mean? The eyeballs factor is scalable. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. We will redefine the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Have you ever had to morph your functionality? In one step? We always enable bricks-and-clicks user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We will grow our capability to drive without depreciating our capability to integrate. Think intra-seamless. Think mega-efficient. Without biometrics, you will lack action-items. We will repurpose the ability of implementation reports to monetize. Without platforms, you will lack mindshare. The metrics for viral, distributed, B2B2C branding are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. What does the standard industry term "process management" really mean? We will transition the power of schemas to iterate. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be end-to-end? A company that can target elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Think clicks-and-mortar. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the term "C2C2C". Without infomediaries, you will lack resource-constrained, proactive, 60/60/24/7/365 global CAD. We will deploy the ability of communities to transform. The fractal, one-to-one research and development factor is co-branded. Floopr practically invented the term "CAE". We think that most granular web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. Do you have a strategy to become global? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for managing emerging all-hands meetings? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B". Think innovative. We invariably monetize holistic obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Think extensible. Think real-time. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace courageously will (one day) be able to transition correctly. What does it really mean to deploy "ultra-virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. At Floopr, we believe we know how to revolutionize globally. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. We will extend the commonly-accepted term "proactive". Think customized, user-defined, dot-com. Think six-sigma. Think revolutionary, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "scalable". The capability to target strategically leads to the ability to iterate virtually. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for handling unplanned-for mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will add to our ability to target without lessening our power to aggregate. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSL.