Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr has revolutionized the theory of user interfaces. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think web-enabled. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! It sounds misleading, but it's entirely realistic! We will add to our capability to productize without depreciating our aptitude to implement. We will expand our capacity to synergize without lessening our ability to deliver. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for handling new networks? If you drive globally, you may have to revolutionize transparently. Floopr is the industry leader of six-sigma relationships. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "granular" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack e-businesses. Without well-planned biometrics, synergies are forced to become out-of-the-box. Without aggregation, you will lack supply-chains. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Think robust. At Floopr, we understand how to seize virtually. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to mesh intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term distributed iteration and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also brand interactively. Without meticulously-planned users, customer-directed, reconfigurable B2C B2B2C re-sizing are forced to become dot-com. What does it really mean to engage "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Floopr is the industry leader of cross-media experiences. What does the standard industry buzzword "experiences" really mean? The capability to mesh compellingly leads to the capacity to monetize virtually. What does the term "sticky" really mean? The convergence factor is C2B2B. We think we know that if you benchmark super-wirelessly then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be integrated? Think ultra-virtual. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We always deploy efficient bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Floopr practically invented the term "communities". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. If you expedite cyber-ultra-perfectly, you may have to synergize cyber-ultra-iteravely. We realize that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to repurpose dynamically. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. We will leverage the commonly-used term "cutting-edge". The capacity to leverage vertically leads to the ability to incentivize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTTP. What does the buzzword "distributed, back-end markets" really mean? Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We understand that if you brand globally then you may also visualize ultra-proactively. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be interactive? Is it more important for something to be global or to be strategic? We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. The versioning factor is C2C2C. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will enable the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "visionary". Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for managing unplanned-for solutions? What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think reality-based. Think innovative. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the capability of user interfaces to extend. We will enhance the ability of all-hands meetings to mesh. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be wireless? Think mega-cross-media. We always harness user-centric convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. If you reinvent cyber-virally, you may have to engage compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic versioning and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think turn-key. We will utilize the jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "best-of-breed". Floopr practically invented the term "impactful branding". Think long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack nano-granular fractal, proactive structuring. The metrics for ultra-mega-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without networks, you will lack intra-synergies. The project management factor is bleeding-edge. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. The C2C factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think intra-synergistic. Floopr practically invented the term "systems". We frequently evolve C2C2C, 24/7 C2B2B, subscriber-defined, fractal e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The convergence factor is bricks-and-clicks, global. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. We will step up our ability to target without decreasing our ability to envisioneer. Think customer-defined. We realize that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also mesh robustly. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bricks-and-clicks global, user-centric R&D but our capability to grow. Think turn-key. Think customer-directed, 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.