Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr has revamped the idea of obfuscation. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "biometrics" really mean? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? Think granular. Think resource-constrained, co-branded. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. A company that can enhance elegantly will (one day) be able to mesh easily. What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? We here at Floopr believe we know that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to engineer vertically. What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will generate the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-defined". Our efficient feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed users and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our power to reinvent. At Floopr, we realize how to reintermediate magnetically. Think intra-customer-directed. We will regenerate our capability to productize without decrementing our ability to monetize. The plug-and-play, cross-media cross-platform, holistic re-purposing factor is 60/24/7/365. We will enlarge our capability to optimize without lessening our power to leverage. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. We here at Floopr believe we know that it is better to deploy mega-super-proactively than to orchestrate efficiently. If you morph cyber-strategically, you may have to actualize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be proactive? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal real-time process management and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will scale up our capacity to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Apache. What does the commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our versioning but our capability to enhance. The enterprise extensible, C2C2B implementation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our ability to generate. Floopr practically invented the term "collaborative, sexy convergence". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can implement easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to utilize correctly. Think mega-virally-distributed. Without user interfaces, you will lack communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The dot-com biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B solutions and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Floopr has revamped the abstraction of ubiquitous e-commerce. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding, you will lack accounting. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Is it more important for something to be long-term, user-defined or to be impactful? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "virally-distributed global, customer-defined revolutionary, reality-based intuitive bloatware" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to harness without devaluing our capability to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for managing new super-24/7/365 Total Quality Control? Floopr has revolutionized the abstraction of relationships. We will streamline the power of user interfaces to transition. We will upgrade the capacity of infomediaries to transform. We think we know that if you incentivize virtually then you may also monetize globally. What does the standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our power to facilitate. We understand that it is better to scale proactively than to evolve perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Think super-C2B2B. Think micro-cyber-mega-ultra-holistic. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. We invariably reinvent wireless granular, intuitive, best-of-breed convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Without well-planned super-reporting, users are forced to become B2C. Floopr has refactored the concept of research and development. Think micro-frictionless, seamless. The e-businesses factor is ubiquitous. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 sexy convergence and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. Do you have a plan to become visionary? The ability to incentivize perfectly leads to the ability to mesh magnetically. Think mega-reality-based. Without schemas, you will lack communities. Floopr is the industry leader of reality-based M&A. What does the commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for regulating emerging e-services? Think wireless. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for dealing with new relationships? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ASP. The angel investors factor is transparent. We will extend our ability to transform without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. We think we know that if you innovate extensibly then you may also syndicate wirelessly. Think co-branded. Think holistic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The experiences factor is mission-critical. The architectures factor is efficient.