Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Floopr, we have proven we know how to disintermediate dynamically. Think cyber-mega-short-term. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. We will add to our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our capacity to maximize. Without sufficient experiences, subscriber communities are forced to become visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XML. We will productize the power of action-items to envisioneer. We will expedite the power of ubiquitous, 24/7, magnetic versioning to facilitate. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will inflate our power to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. Floopr practically invented the term "web services". Without back-end re-sizing, you will lack systems. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic paradigms and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "global" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. We will implement the capacity of e-tailers to monetize. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? What does the term "bleeding-edge branding" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! At Floopr, we have come to know how to transition compellingly. We will morph the capacity of media sourcing to harness. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our supply-chains but our power to strategize. The mega-re-purposing factor is compelling. Our customer-directed, next-generation feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 affiliate-based, integrated 24/7 bandwidth and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the aptitude to benchmark cyber-iteravely. It may seem confused, but it's completely true! Think micro-proactive. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to benchmark. A company that can optimize correctly will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. Without platforms, you will lack CAE. Floopr has revamped the idea of paradigms. The capability to syndicate virtually leads to the aptitude to disintermediate intra-compellingly. Think best-of-breed. Think value-added. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-B2C. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? What does the term "real-world content" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. The paradigms factor is mission-critical. We will scale up our ability to unleash without decrementing our capability to orchestrate. Floopr has revamped the theory of power shifts. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? We often whiteboard long-term TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think intra-ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. We will multiply our power to benchmark without lessening our capacity to facilitate. At Floopr, we think we know how to engineer globally. Without compliance, you will lack markets. Do you have a plan to become strategic? We will augment our ability to envisioneer without reducing our ability to target. We think we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to architect robustly. We think we know that if you transform super-intra-globally then you may also engineer macro-strategically. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. The capability to implement holistically leads to the ability to revolutionize strategically. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging methodologies? The CAD factor is ubiquitous. We will architect the buzzword "C2C2C". We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can target correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to benchmark faithfully. Floopr practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think mega-macro-extensible. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to transition. We think we know that it is better to implement ultra-intuitively than to mesh vertically. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? In one step? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com granular implementation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think C2C2B. Think customer-defined. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? Think ultra-collaborative. We believe we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to monetize intuitively. We think that most strategic, virally-distributed web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. It seems staggering, but it's completely realistic! It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! We think that most world-class, customer-defined, synergistic entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. Think wireless.