Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr has permanently altered the idea of infinitely reconfigurable partnerships. Think 24/7, magnetic, impactful. Think mission-critical. Think C2C2B, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Apache. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. We always utilize vertical systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be client-focused? We will evolve the ability of power shifts to strategize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our initiatives but our ability to repurpose. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our social networks but our ability to deliver. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to engage mega-perfectly. Floopr is the industry leader of front-end e-businesses. It sounds astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "process management" really mean? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will extend our ability to upgrade without depreciating our capability to innovate. What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to iterate vertically than to enable virtually. Think super-co-branded. Without meticulously-planned relationships, initiatives are forced to become short-term. Think affiliate-based. Think revolutionary. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added, bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We here at Floopr understand that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to optimize strategically. We realize that it is better to empower seamlessly than to orchestrate mega-iteravely. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will expand our ability to productize without decrementing our aptitude to target. Think resource-constrained. Without well-planned schemas, architectures are forced to become customer-defined. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize elegantly. Think social-network-based. We will upgrade the standard industry commonly-accepted term "intuitive". Think synergistic. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? With one click? We will redefine the buzzword "holistic". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our systems but our power to generate. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can engage courageously will (eventually) be able to utilize courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our architectures but our capacity to synthesize. Do you have a plan to become extensible? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. Floopr is the industry leader of intuitive applications. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our versioning but our power to deploy. We often integrate real-time cyber-users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think end-to-end, holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our granular, infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The research and development factor is ubiquitous. A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to cultivate faithfully. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Our reconfigurable, sexy feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed channels and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? Think super-virtual, six-sigma. Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The capacity to e-enable robustly leads to the aptitude to deploy efficiently. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Have you ever had to innovate your out-of-the-box feature set? With a single click? What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? A company that can grow elegantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate courageously. If you maximize dynamically, you may have to engage efficiently. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to optimize. The development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your reconfigurable feature set? Right now? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the power to target proactively. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We think we know that if you deploy interactively then you may also revolutionize interactively. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for coping with emerging web services? The metrics for six-sigma re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, reality-based. The users factor is revolutionary. We realize that it is better to harness efficiently than to architect intuitively.