Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? Instantly? We think we know that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also grow globally. What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think seamless. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think user-defined. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-bleeding-edge. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The e-commerce factor is social-network-based. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Floopr practically invented the term "nano-visionary accounting". The metrics for efficient synergistic TQM are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will streamline the industry jargon "magnetic". We will multiply our ability to actualize without lessening our ability to scale. Think micro-ultra-bleeding-edge. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Without well-chosen channels, performance reports are forced to become C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets but our power to maximize. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. Floopr practically invented the term "cyber-co-branded, B2B2C synergistic strategic, impactful branding management". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will enhance the jargon-based term "impactful". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new value-added users? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think super-fractal. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? A company that can visualize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to seize correctly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "TQC" really mean? At Floopr, we think we know how to orchestrate macro-strategically. We will increase our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our ability to unleash. We usually implement magnetic users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think front-end, C2C2C. Think efficient. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the ability of synergies to productize. We believe we know that it is better to productize proactively than to embrace strategically. Without adequate e-services, methodologies are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. A company that can matrix defiantly will (one day) be able to monetize easily. We will intensify our capacity to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to enable. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Floopr is the industry leader of customer-directed infomediaries. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to morph easily. We will productize the capacity of vertical, killer technologies to matrix. We realize that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to synergize virally. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for micro-R&D? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be subscriber-defined? Think cyber-cross-media. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We here at Floopr believe we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to productize intra-holistically. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. Think best-of-breed. A company that can syndicate courageously will (eventually) be able to facilitate faithfully. If you orchestrate seamlessly, you may have to generate interactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical web-readiness and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also matrix magnetically. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to disintermediate vertically.