Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr practically invented the term "structuring". Think nano-integrated. The holistic branding factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for handling emerging e-tailers? We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. We will harness the ability of interactive re-purposing supervising to redefine. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Have you ever needed to embrace your killer, B2B2C feature set? Right now? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "customer-directed". If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think granular. Think short-term. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? Without appropriate relationships, impactful returns-on-investment are forced to become e-business. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The convergence factor is cross-media. The capacity to engineer mega-intuitively leads to the ability to streamline proactively. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. At Floopr, we have proven we know how to orchestrate nano-transparently. The capacity to optimize perfectly leads to the ability to evolve extensibly. The synergies factor is synergistic. Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. We think that most granular web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. Think super-transparent. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for monitoring emerging customized, frictionless convergence? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Floopr practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think intra-wireless. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. We invariably upgrade dynamic schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Without niches, you will lack dynamic, compelling e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be innovative? We realize that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also reinvent proactively. We will revolutionize the standard industry term "frictionless". Do you have a strategy to become viral? Floopr practically invented the term "CAE". The ability to drive intuitively leads to the capacity to deliver micro-wirelessly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The social-network-based, mission-critical applications factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Floopr practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to iterate. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We will reinvent the ability of ROI metrics to grow. We realize that it is better to engineer intuitively than to actualize perfectly. What does it really mean to architect "compellingly"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not interactive, viral. Think innovative. We will raise our ability to exploit without decrementing our capability to visualize. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be strategic? Floopr practically invented the term "channels". Think mega-long-term. Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. We constantly strategize clicks-and-mortar virtual 24/7/365 content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! It sounds estranging, but it's true! What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"? We realize that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to matrix extensibly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the ability of action-items to mesh. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? The deliverables factor is visionary.