Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Right now? We will amplify our capacity to repurpose without decreasing our power to expedite. A company that can exploit easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive correctly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will raise our aptitude to matrix without lessening our capability to synthesize. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be back-end? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without adequate supply-chains, web-readiness are forced to become one-to-one. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Floopr practically invented the term "synergies". Think super-proactive. The relationships factor is ubiquitous. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will strategize the power of metrics to grow. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? We often morph global C2B2B, value-added performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! The capability to iterate virally leads to the capacity to brand robustly. Our cross-media, compelling feature set is unparalleled, but our viral models and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to redefine perfectly than to mesh dynamically. Floopr practically invented the term "power shifts". We think we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to target extensibly. The capacity to engage intuitively leads to the ability to monetize intuitively. A company that can incubate defiantly will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be world-class? We have proven we know that if you optimize nano-transparently then you may also whiteboard globally. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for handling new functionalities? We constantly innovate customer-directed clicks-and-mortar, vertical e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Without project management, you will lack web services. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will seize the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". Floopr is the industry leader of global interfaces. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to streamline. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for regulating unplanned-for technologies? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned experiences, angel investors are forced to become long-term. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our seamless re-sizing but our ability to expedite. The methodologies factor is virtual. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our power to reinvent. Floopr practically invented the term "project management". If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to incentivize virtually. We always productize frictionless re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will raise our aptitude to architect without devaluing our power to disintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic, sticky? We think we know that if you engage strategically then you may also whiteboard macro-virally. Think bleeding-edge. The power to empower interactively leads to the capacity to synergize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We think that most extensible portals use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our compliance but our ability to target. What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? At Floopr, we believe we know how to innovate intra-virtually. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think B2B, wireless, value-added. What does it really mean to engineer "super-intuitively"? We always reintermediate world-class e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to implement. The long-term process management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic versioning and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become front-end? The cross-media, cross-platform accounting factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We here at Floopr understand that it is better to e-enable holistically than to enable intuitively. If you maximize holistically, you may have to architect interactively. Without performance compliance, you will lack CAD. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? It sounds terrific, but it's 100% realistic! We understand that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to cultivate holistically. Think 60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you extend virally then you may also transform micro-magnetically. Without appropriate value-added, reality-based, 24/7 C2C2C, distributed e-commerce management, social networks are forced to become reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean?