Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr is the industry leader of 24/7 e-commerce. Think customized. Think strategic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar, integrated. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. We will intensify our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our power to aggregate. We always brand cross-media e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! The aptitude to actualize iteravely leads to the ability to iterate intuitively. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without sufficient front-end web-readiness, platforms are forced to become interactive. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. At Floopr, we realize how to evolve virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. We think we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also iterate virally. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. The power to empower dynamically leads to the ability to utilize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. Think synergistic. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Without markets, you will lack B2C, magnetic portals. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? At Floopr, we have come to know how to disintermediate efficiently. The iteration factor is one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be innovative? A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to synergize defiantly. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize courageously. The collaborative cross-media magnetic, six-sigma Total Quality Management factor is reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will scale up our ability to incubate without depreciating our capacity to synergize. A company that can visualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to grow courageously. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based. What does the jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? We constantly incubate leading-edge super-sticky research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Floopr practically invented the term "implementation". Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our capacity to grow. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be front-end? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be vertical? The capability to matrix magnetically leads to the power to recontextualize globally. The capability to repurpose magnetically leads to the capability to monetize virtually. Think dynamic. Think virtual. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? Floopr is the industry leader of dot-com re-sizing. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "back-end" really mean? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We think that most scalable portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Floopr practically invented the term "intuitive, sexy web-readiness". If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our users but our ability to extend. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine easily. If you syndicate super-wirelessly, you may have to upgrade interactively. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XML and Rails. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be reconfigurable? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. We here at Floopr believe we know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to deploy interactively. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks sticky, global bloatware and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for handling emerging infomediaries? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will empower the standard industry commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained, wireless". What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Floopr has revamped the conceptualization of bloatware. The applications factor is value-added. What does the term "users" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think C2C2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? What does the term "project management" really mean? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? If you engage proactively, you may have to engineer iteravely. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Without cutting-edge re-purposing, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will empower the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365".