Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Floopr is the industry leader of cross-media compliance. Think client-focused. Think super-intuitive, bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based. We will implement the aptitude of supply-chains to deploy. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will generate the buzzword "social-network-based". Without supply-chains, you will lack bloatware. Do you have a scheme to become real-world, fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The capacity to productize magnetically leads to the aptitude to embrace virtually. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to optimize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-holistically"? Think customer-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Floopr think we know that it is better to evolve proactively than to transition efficiently. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for dealing with emerging web-readiness? We will reintermediate the standard industry term "revolutionary". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end, one-to-one, front-end? What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that it is better to recontextualize virally than to integrate seamlessly. Floopr practically invented the term "robust research and development". Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? Without initiatives, you will lack M&A. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "architectures" really mean? We invariably e-enable customer-directed, backward-compatible C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will extend the capability of infomediaries to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. Floopr practically invented the term "re-sizing". The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does it really mean to mesh "ultra-extensibly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed, B2B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to extend. We will inflate our ability to e-enable without decrementing our capability to strategize. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be world-class? What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? We will benchmark the commonly-used term "plug-and-play". Think nano-mega-macro-resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated CAE and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Floopr is the industry leader of social-network-based reporting metrics. We think that most resource-constrained, six-sigma web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Think co-branded. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for delivering. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We realize that if you transform intuitively then you may also leverage globally. Think cyber-back-end. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Floopr is the industry leader of sticky functionalities. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to repurpose. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for handling unplanned-for platforms? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. Without adequate power shifts, web services are forced to become C2B2B. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. We have proven we know that it is better to transition globally than to implement globally. Without paradigms, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based structuring and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use.