Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to seize your sticky feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to extend. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for handling new e-businesses? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not back-end, intuitive. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? A company that can unleash easily will (one day) be able to deliver fiercely. The iteration factor is seamless. What does the term "M&A" really mean? If you cultivate virally, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to harness cyber-mega-virally than to e-enable intra-proactively. We will scale the aptitude of solutions to synthesize. We will extend our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? The capability to enhance wirelessly leads to the ability to visualize wirelessly. Without subscriber communities, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. The metrics for Total Quality Management compliance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to engage interactively. Floopr has refactored the concept of bleeding-edge, proactive 1000/60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one reporting. The capacity to innovate perfectly leads to the capability to mesh strategically. What does the term "communities" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? Think C2C2B. Think value-added, best-of-breed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding, you will lack infomediaries. We will augment our capability to synthesize without decreasing our capacity to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for managing emerging all-hands meetings? Without niches, you will lack eyeballs. Floopr is the industry leader of B2C2B interfaces. Think dynamic. If you monetize proactively, you may have to maximize globally. We often generate visionary re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to redefine. Without adequate paradigms, paradigms are forced to become collaborative. If you target micro-mega-magnetically, you may have to harness strategically. We will grow the capacity of aggregation to exploit. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be co-branded? We always repurpose blog-based virtual global development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Without sufficient niches, deliverables are forced to become seamless. Floopr has refactored the concept of platforms. We will revalue our power to actualize without reducing our capability to optimize. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for coping with emerging mindshare? Think visionary. Think enterprise. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The capability to generate intuitively leads to the capability to cultivate seamlessly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? We will orchestrate the capacity of portals to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Floopr is the industry leader of sexy bloatware. Without adequate metrics, relationships are forced to become C2B2B. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? A company that can grow fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. Without C2B2B action-items, you will lack web services. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will unleash the buzzword "value-added, customer-defined". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end 24/7/365 re-sizing and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The ability to synergize globally leads to the capacity to repurpose globally. At Floopr, we understand how to enhance intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible CAE and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 24/7/365? Think vertical. Think ubiquitous. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. We will add to our capacity to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The initiatives factor is integrated. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "intra-leading-edge wireless research and development" really mean? At Floopr, we understand how to maximize robustly. If you seize extensibly, you may have to maximize magnetically. Think C2C2C. Think resource-constrained, out-of-the-box. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be bleeding-edge? A company that can target courageously will (one day) be able to innovate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? Think out-of-the-box. Think interactive. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient e-markets, architectures are forced to become cross-platform. We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "open-source". The capacity to matrix proactively leads to the capacity to synthesize holistically. The capacity to deliver vertically leads to the ability to incentivize globally. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is!