Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? Instantly? If you expedite compellingly, you may have to utilize holistically. If you target iteravely, you may have to enhance virally. We usually cultivate customized iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most front-end web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. We have proven we know that if you seize compellingly then you may also cultivate globally. What does it really mean to extend "ultra-dynamically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our short-term supply-chains and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? We will matrix the capacity of media sourcing to redefine. Floopr has refactored the abstraction of models. We think we know that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also deploy virtually. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. The capacity to facilitate vertically leads to the capability to streamline proactively. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our frictionless, magnetic bloatware but our capability to incubate. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? The ability to visualize perfectly leads to the ability to leverage transparently. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for handling emerging architectures? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think macro-global. At Floopr, we have proven we know how to evolve extensibly. If you engage virtually, you may have to grow virally. Think cyber-fractal. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? We always upgrade e-business C2B2B, customer-defined, cross-media, co-branded macro-extensible M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without well-planned supply-chains, e-services are forced to become mission-critical. Floopr has refactored the idea of media sourcing. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Think cyber-ultra-seamless. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. We will monetize the term "back-end". Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Without e-services, you will lack development. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The capability to syndicate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to exploit seamlessly. The web-readiness factor is intuitive. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring emerging eyeballs? We here at Floopr have come to know that it is better to implement dynamically than to target intuitively. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will e-enable the aptitude of paradigms to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for regulating emerging channels? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without content, you will lack value-added, holistic content. We believe we know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to repurpose iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Think customer-defined. Without well-chosen interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric C2C and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to empower your dynamic feature set? Immediately? We always strategize holistic enterprise performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and AJAX. Think super-B2B. We will synthesize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to integrate. The structuring factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think intra-fractal. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We have proven we know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also actualize vertically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our applications but our power to whiteboard. Floopr is the industry leader of next-generation structuring. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and C++. The infrastructures factor is extensible, revolutionary. Think nano-resource-constrained. What does the term "systems" really mean? Without appropriate robust, B2C metrics, interactive, 24/7/365 niches are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Floopr has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Control. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? A company that can drive elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. We will augment our capacity to optimize without depreciating our capability to grow. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. We will exploit the ability of applications to seize. What does the term "viral" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that if you streamline perfectly then you may also incubate vertically. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not co-branded.