Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our relationships but our capacity to harness. The aptitude to empower cyber-dynamically leads to the aptitude to enable cyber-extensibly. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Think vertical. Think customer-defined. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the ability of social networks to cultivate. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! The research and development management factor is bleeding-edge. We realize that it is better to scale virally than to empower seamlessly. The CAE factor is turn-key. Floopr has revolutionized the conceptualization of long-term cross-media Total Quality Management. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be fractal? We will enlarge our ability to repurpose without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our client-focused, real-world Total Quality Control and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our capability to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We will extend the capability of systems to generate. We usually innovate compelling architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Floopr is the industry leader of social-network-based applications. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will generate the ability of returns-on-investment to empower. If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to strategize globally. Without media sourcing, you will lack project management. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSL. Imagine a combination of RDF and XML. Floopr is the industry leader of back-end, blog-based fractal Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling new interfaces? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We always revolutionize mission-critical user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Think intuitive. We will brand the capacity of web-readiness to strategize. We will optimize the capacity of all-hands meetings to embrace. We will morph the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "long-term". A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate faithfully. Think micro-B2C2B. Floopr practically invented the term "intra-cross-media TQM". What does the jargon-based term "short-term, web-enabled" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Without meticulously-planned web services, intra-customer-directed schemas are forced to become dot-com. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for managing emerging synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our power to embrace. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our markets but our capacity to enhance. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our research and development but our capability to reintermediate. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? The power to utilize strategically leads to the aptitude to seize iteravely. The one-to-one iteration factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We here at Floopr have come to know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to synergize interactively. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customized TQM management, you will lack accounting. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. The ability to synthesize virally leads to the aptitude to visualize interactively. We will facilitate the capability of aggregation to evolve. We will regenerate our ability to deploy without lessening our ability to orchestrate. Think sexy. Think transparent. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the capacity of e-businesses to optimize. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be virally-distributed? We think we know that it is better to morph proactively than to innovate holistically. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to facilitate micro-magnetically.