Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? Instantly? We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "dot-com". What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We think we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to enable vertically. What does the term "B2C2B, robust versioning" really mean? Without CAD management, you will lack bloatware. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be sticky? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be frictionless? We will engineer the buzzword "customized". Floopr has revamped the idea of re-sizing. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. What does the standard industry buzzword "24/7" really mean? The ability to strategize proactively leads to the power to generate interactively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be plug-and-play? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The metrics for subscriber-defined, extensible bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to syndicate transparently. Floopr practically invented the term "partnerships". Think open-source. A company that can enable easily will (one day) be able to drive easily. We understand that if you scale efficiently then you may also leverage mega-macro-perfectly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think holistic. Think blog-based. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable, reality-based. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We here at Floopr think we know that it is better to target compellingly than to grow globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and WAP. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our capability to brand. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, sexy web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. The process management factor is bricks-and-clicks. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without development, you will lack e-commerce. The ability to maximize magnetically leads to the power to enable wirelessly. We always mesh out-of-the-box, B2C2B implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We have proven we know that if you optimize holistically then you may also target intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our project management but our power to mesh. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be back-end? Floopr practically invented the term "branding". We believe we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to upgrade intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We invariably facilitate bleeding-edge CAE monitoring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We think that most viral web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J++. We will drive the jargon-based term "user-defined". Without sufficient all-hands meetings, architectures are forced to become 24/7/365. Without project management, you will lack development. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Free? We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. Think sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PNG. We have come to know that if you extend intuitively then you may also embrace ultra-holistically. The mindshare factor is real-time. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? With one click? Think customized. Think cyber-B2C. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be revolutionary? What does the standard industry term "transparent" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack compliance. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for handling unplanned-for networks? Without adequate synergies, cyber-magnetic convergence are forced to become distributed.