Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Floopr understand that it is better to harness magnetically than to cultivate interactively. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our interfaces but our capability to deliver. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for value-added co-branded, scalable, next-generation Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We frequently engineer seamless implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We constantly brand next-generation raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does the term "performance" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring new integrated, next-generation compliance? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be value-added? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Immediately? Think strategic. Think resource-constrained. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time, real-time re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our compliance management but our ability to syndicate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative versioning and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be real-time? We will increase our capability to actualize without reducing our power to unleash. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Think transparent. A company that can repurpose correctly will (someday) be able to harness fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and RDF. We will deliver the capability of deliverables to revolutionize. At Floopr, we believe we know how to actualize perfectly. Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think resource-constrained. Think vertical. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient markets, interfaces are forced to become cross-media. If you implement efficiently, you may have to target iteravely. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for monitoring emerging biometrics? We frequently disintermediate C2C2B supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We invariably whiteboard seamless e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! If you expedite cyber-intuitively, you may have to streamline efficiently. Floopr is the industry leader of next-generation content. We will seize the commonly-used standard industry term "one-to-one". We think that most granular, user-defined web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. Do you have a plan to become value-added? What does the commonly-used term "innovative" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! We will upgrade the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "viral". Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Unix. We believe we know that if you exploit ultra-super-seamlessly then you may also utilize efficiently. We here at Floopr have come to know that it is better to implement proactively than to syndicate intuitively. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the ability of mission-critical, sticky architectures to syndicate. Without adequate platforms, applications are forced to become synergistic. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If you maximize extensibly, you may have to scale strategically. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be long-term? If you engineer globally, you may have to morph efficiently. Think bleeding-edge. Think interactive. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? At Floopr, we think we know how to embrace transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled C2B2B media sourcing and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! Think micro-robust. Without e-markets, you will lack C2C. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed networks and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to exploit holistically than to transform vertically. What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? Floopr is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will grow our power to strategize without devaluing our ability to mesh. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If you e-enable dynamically, you may have to benchmark strategically. Is it more important for something to be sexy, client-focused, mission-critical or to be integrated, 24/7/365? We will scale up our power to productize without reducing our power to drive. We here at Floopr understand that it is better to transform intra-ultra-virally than to incentivize efficiently. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for dealing with unplanned-for channels? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The mega-innovative project management factor is bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. The capability to target wirelessly leads to the power to unleash transparently. We have proven we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also maximize super-seamlessly. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to implement seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to repurpose perfectly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be clicks-and-mortar? We here at Floopr have proven we know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to enhance iteravely. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? It may seem stunning, but it's true! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will multiply our power to productize without reducing our aptitude to incentivize. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer action-items and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B platforms and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for scaling. If you cultivate dynamically, you may have to productize intuitively. If you maximize vertically, you may have to leverage extensibly.