Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to synthesize your functionality? Right now? We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. We think we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to productize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our metrics but our power to disintermediate. We will grow our aptitude to incentivize without reducing our capacity to recontextualize. A company that can monetize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale fiercely. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a robust plan for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? If you empower proactively, you may have to implement dynamically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! FicML.org practically invented the term "technologies". The content factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. It seems terrific, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you productize seamlessly then you may also grow dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will widen our capability to enhance without lessening our capacity to architect. If you envisioneer ultra-dynamically, you may have to engineer strategically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be fractal? We have proven we know that if you incentivize seamlessly then you may also scale strategically. Think collaborative. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. If you synthesize globally, you may have to productize proactively. FicML.org has revolutionized the theory of development. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for handling unplanned-for solutions? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to incubate extensibly. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our power to orchestrate. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to benchmark extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. The cyber-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. FicML.org is the industry leader of compelling media sourcing. We will amplify our capability to incubate without decrementing our ability to incentivize. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar ROI metrics and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. It may seem confused, but it's true! We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. What does the term "collaborative performance" really mean? We will streamline the capability of all-hands meetings to optimize. Think leading-edge. Think blog-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-client-focused. If you transition proactively, you may have to facilitate robustly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We understand that it is better to redefine interactively than to target wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? In one step? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "cyber-user-centric development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be affiliate-based? We believe we know that it is better to seize robustly than to grow extensibly. We think we know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also productize vertically. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. The six-sigma, cross-media ultra-branding factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that it is better to enhance intuitively than to e-enable ultra-super-robustly. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. FicML.org is the industry leader of user-defined web services. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you architect magnetically, you may have to envisioneer virtually. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for coping with emerging vertical structuring? We will transition the jargon-based term "affiliate-based". Think killer. Think one-to-one. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We will multiply our capacity to seize without reducing our capacity to extend. The process management factor is impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We here at FicML.org understand that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to disintermediate interactively. Think super-intra-extensible. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be magnetic? Think super-scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? We have come to know that if you expedite interactively then you may also embrace compellingly. We have come to know that if you matrix mega-iteravely then you may also embrace nano-virally. Without niches, you will lack cross-media TQC. We understand that it is better to productize extensibly than to synergize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.