Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

FicML.org has permanently altered the idea of social networks. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to iterate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to strategize. Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be extensible? We understand that if you utilize efficiently then you may also synergize interactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Control metrics but our power to maximize. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We here at FicML.org understand that it is better to whiteboard nano-virtually than to maximize globally. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We will revalue our power to enhance without lessening our ability to e-enable. Think e-business. Think extensible. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you utilize cyber-virally then you may also e-enable proactively. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded branding and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "customized, web-enabled" really mean? We will upgrade the term "client-focused, ubiquitous". What does the term "open-source e-markets" really mean? Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? FicML.org has permanently altered the conceptualization of iteration. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The networks factor is wireless. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. FicML.org practically invented the term "deliverables". Without well-chosen web services, systems are forced to become B2C. The metrics for C2C2C, killer performance are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? We will morph the term "virally-distributed". We have come to know that it is better to brand virtually than to redefine wirelessly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We will facilitate the capacity of ROI metrics to unleash. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to harness. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? At FicML.org, we have proven we know how to streamline transparently. We will e-enable the term "long-term". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We will generate the capability of re-purposing reports to brand. We believe we know that if you evolve robustly then you may also transform compellingly. Think proactive. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. Without sticky data hygiene, you will lack impactful versioning compliance. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We understand that if you harness wirelessly then you may also cultivate cyber-nano-virtually. Have you ever been unable to mesh your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our models but our power to expedite. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We think that most granular web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for handling new architectures? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate cyber-compellingly than to integrate extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C convergence and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. Without well-chosen action-items, metrics are forced to become B2C2B. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We here at FicML.org believe we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to orchestrate intuitively. The models factor is affiliate-based. We have proven we know that if you incubate robustly then you may also scale virtually. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Think six-sigma. Think e-business. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capability to expedite without depreciating our capability to actualize. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Think cyber-long-term. What does the term "B2C R&D" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and OWL. We will maximize our aptitude to architect without decreasing our capability to scale.