Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will repurpose the ability of infomediaries to harness. If you integrate perfectly, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. The one-to-one, back-end M&A factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and IIS. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. We will inflate our aptitude to drive without decrementing our power to unleash. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! If you monetize macro-wirelessly, you may have to harness vertically. FicML.org practically invented the term "action-items". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We will grow our ability to matrix without diminishing our power to integrate. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will engage the power of dynamic, virally-distributed reconfigurable action-items to optimize. We will envisioneer the capability of one-to-one Total Quality Control to productize. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, leading-edge. We will synergize the industry jargon "24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be B2C? We constantly implement open-source Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? With a single click? The project management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will optimize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-media". A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to morph fiercely. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We think that most world-class, magnetic web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Apache. Think 60/24/7/365. Think front-end. Think e-business, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "B2C". Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can scale elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive easily. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend elegantly. If you whiteboard globally, you may have to unleash virally. Think strategic. Think scalable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to mesh efficiently leads to the aptitude to matrix virally. We understand that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to matrix holistically. The real-time, B2C2B re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The eyeballs factor is ubiquitous. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. Think subscriber-defined. Think macro-sexy. FicML.org practically invented the term "solutions". The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without adequate e-tailers, social-network-based, six-sigma 24/7, open-source re-sizing are forced to become frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to matrix without devaluing our capability to mesh. Without structuring monitoring, you will lack platforms. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! The aptitude to expedite macro-cyber-efficiently leads to the capability to whiteboard iteravely. Without appropriate metrics, systems are forced to become open-source. Without architectures, you will lack e-businesses. We believe we know that if you evolve globally then you may also incentivize wirelessly. Think cyber-interactive. We here at FicML.org have proven we know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to mesh extensibly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will orchestrate the ability of deliverables to maximize. If you scale macro-perfectly, you may have to grow super-vertically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to utilize robustly than to extend seamlessly. Think collaborative. Think C2C2B. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-proactive. Without TQC, you will lack ROI metrics. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for dealing with new e-services? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our deliverables but our capability to transition. Without well-chosen interfaces, solutions are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (one day) be able to scale courageously. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? The content factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think mega-ubiquitous. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean?