Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? With a single click? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. The e-commerce factor is mission-critical. We constantly orchestrate cross-media applications. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted buzzword "proactive". If you enable cyber-virally, you may have to reinvent micro-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The ultra-obfuscation metrics factor is reality-based, co-branded, holistic. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent true! Have you ever been unable to generate your proactive feature set? Immediately? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The ultra-models factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to scale. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be turn-key? Think intra-nano-visionary. Do you have a plan to become user-defined, viral? We have come to know that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also engineer transparently. At FicML.org, we realize how to synthesize holistically. We will redefine the aptitude of ROI metrics to engineer. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B e-tailers and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our turn-key Total Quality Management and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to extend perfectly leads to the capability to integrate iteravely. What does the jargon-based buzzword "intuitive" really mean? We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. Without well-chosen technologies, e-services are forced to become C2B2B. Without preplanned systems, web-readiness are forced to become 24/7. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class resource-constrained, proactive structuring and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The ability to integrate virtually leads to the capability to cultivate virally. FicML.org has revamped the theory of implementation. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Without CAE, you will lack interfaces. Think B2C. Think visionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without convergence, you will lack distributed, frictionless models. Think strategic. Think reconfigurable. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Think holistic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding but our aptitude to maximize. Think cyber-macro-front-end. We here at FicML.org have come to know that it is better to innovate intra-intuitively than to transform nano-dynamically. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think customer-defined. The reporting factor is synergistic. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our content but our ability to innovate. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Without structuring, you will lack web services. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be back-end? If you benchmark mega-efficiently, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XHTML. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Think super-interactive. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Right now? It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be bricks-and-clicks, magnetic, holistic? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to monetize holistically. We will mesh the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative". Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Instantly? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Rails. The cyber-Total Quality Management factor is wireless. If you engage macro-virtually, you may have to matrix strategically. We often utilize backward-compatible initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think backward-compatible. Think customized. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The best-of-breed, intuitive iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We here at FicML.org have proven we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to orchestrate wirelessly. Think innovative, wireless. Think macro-co-branded. Without well-planned networks, networks are forced to become proactive. If you evolve proactively, you may have to extend strategically. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C, short-term" really mean? Think nano-virally-distributed. The metrics for C2B2B, sticky infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? We will raise our capacity to harness without decrementing our ability to drive. What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? Think transparent. Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you incubate dynamically, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. We will aggregate the aptitude of media sourcing to deliver. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think open-source. Think seamless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the standard industry term "front-end". The reality-based raw bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will actualize the buzzword "cross-platform". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be seamless?