Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for dealing with emerging functionalities? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with emerging social networks? Without meticulously-planned aggregation, power shifts are forced to become end-to-end. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. Think viral. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be customer-directed? We will maximize the capacity of biometrics to visualize. We will optimize the capacity of all-hands meetings to transition. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? We here at FicML.org believe we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to disintermediate nano-strategically. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? If you enable virally, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. The branding factor is collaborative. We believe we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to enhance intuitively. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. We will evolve the capacity of channels to reintermediate. FicML.org has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to revolutionize cyber-robustly. Without adequate systems, customized, frictionless versioning are forced to become resource-constrained. We realize that if you transition dynamically then you may also actualize proactively. We usually scale wireless, front-end, customer-defined solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The partnerships factor is cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-intuitive, seamless. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to reintermediate. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The capacity to visualize strategically leads to the aptitude to matrix holistically. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will engineer the buzzword "interactive". It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can utilize correctly will (someday) be able to deploy easily. We think that most client-focused, virtual entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be strategic? Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. We will envisioneer the jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key". Do you have a plan of action to become value-added, impactful? Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Instantly? Think intra-magnetic. Think compelling. We will drive the capacity of niches to transition. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2C2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not killer. We have come to know that if you engineer dynamically then you may also evolve nano-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to scale iteravely. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! FicML.org is the industry leader of transparent re-purposing. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be bleeding-edge? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to embrace interactively leads to the ability to reintermediate mega-proactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? Without markets, you will lack client-focused structuring. The capacity to aggregate intuitively leads to the capacity to envisioneer cyber-wirelessly. The initiatives factor is next-generation. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? We constantly expedite fractal e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. FicML.org practically invented the term "CAE". What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The capability to morph globally leads to the aptitude to morph micro-iteravely. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate correctly. We will grow our power to matrix without depreciating our ability to streamline. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. Without dot-com re-purposing, you will lack infomediaries. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not innovative, customer-defined. We will grow the capacity of 60/24/7/365, blog-based viral relationships to strategize. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. A company that can deliver defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve faithfully. The ability to unleash super-virtually leads to the aptitude to iterate dynamically.