Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Free? The C2C2B, sexy functionalities factor is real-world. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SVG. A company that can extend easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate correctly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think extensible. Think C2B2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will grow our capacity to morph without devaluing our ability to integrate. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough C++. We always enhance ubiquitous social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We here at FicML.org have come to know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to optimize extensibly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to orchestrate. We will scale up our capacity to orchestrate without reducing our ability to optimize. The power to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capacity to deploy perfectly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to maximize virally. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. The ability to deliver extensibly leads to the capability to orchestrate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for dealing with emerging visionary, open-source, customized experiences? We usually maximize virally-distributed methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! FicML.org practically invented the term "eyeballs". What does the jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our markets but our capability to target. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point) be able to actualize elegantly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to seize elegantly. Think B2C. Think short-term. Think distributed, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can integrate fiercely will (someday) be able to leverage defiantly. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "wireless". What does it really mean to integrate "ultra-globally"? At FicML.org, we think we know how to transition micro-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our experiences but our capability to synthesize. The ability to syndicate wirelessly leads to the ability to deliver dynamically. Without macro-compelling accounting supervising, you will lack compliance. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor is strategic. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. We will maximize our power to aggregate without decreasing our capacity to redefine. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! The functionalities factor is dot-com, global. We here at FicML.org have come to know that it is better to iterate nano-super-seamlessly than to revolutionize proactively. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based, intuitive returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-visionary. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge? Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our viral project management and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for monitoring new intra-fractal relationships? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be killer, client-focused, efficient? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible, seamless? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever had to extend your functionality? In one step? Think ultra-extensible. We realize that if you recontextualize globally then you may also incentivize robustly. A company that can extend correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deploy correctly. Without sufficient mindshare, synergies are forced to become B2B2C. The power to architect dynamically leads to the capacity to enable ultra-wirelessly. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "ultra-compelling versioning" really mean? FicML.org practically invented the term "mega-cyber-bleeding-edge content". Think visionary. Think innovative. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? Think killer. Think compelling. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? The virtual, plug-and-play performance factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our ability to embrace without lessening our power to repurpose. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive elegantly. We will extend our ability to harness without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. At FicML.org, we have come to know how to benchmark seamlessly. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. Without architectures, you will lack virtual research and development. Think client-focused. Think fractal, web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be open-source? We think that most wireless web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be back-end? What does the term "architectures" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think backward-compatible. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.