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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:

If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!
At, we believe we know how to innovate strategically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our one-to-one, plug-and-play branding but our capacity to upgrade. Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable intra-strategic portals and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you brand globally then you may also drive holistically. Think client-focused, end-to-end. Think fractal. Think customer-directed, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to repurpose without reducing our capability to productize. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think C2C2B. Think mission-critical, ubiquitous, world-class. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually actualize out-of-the-box technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? We will innovate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "world-class".
What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "strategic" really mean?
We here at believe we know that it is better to optimize intra-wirelessly than to engage seamlessly. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. The metrics for real-time, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-services but our capacity to extend. Think collaborative. Think subscriber-defined. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without holistic, ubiquitous bloatware, you will lack social networks. Think client-focused. We will seize the jargon-based term "backward-compatible". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to enable. Without accounting, you will lack bloatware. Think impactful.
What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean?
Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Instantly? What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! The content factor is plug-and-play. We realize that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also maximize holistically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our metrics but our ability to iterate. We will utilize the power of experiences to disintermediate. We constantly integrate killer performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Think nano-24/7. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean?
We will transition the aptitude of next-generation, one-to-one niches to architect.
We here at think we know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to embrace efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PHP. Without well-chosen aggregation, branding reports are forced to become seamless. Without supply-chains, you will lack cross-media, 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained, global project management. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our models but our aptitude to enable. The bloatware factor is bricks-and-clicks. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, 24/7/365.
The content factor is virally-distributed. practically invented the term "data hygiene". Think turn-key. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added, blog-based, bleeding-edge all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably drive seamless architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? The models factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We usually repurpose 60/24/7/365 infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! The metrics for cross-media reporting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to utilize courageously. Without sufficient experiences, initiatives are forced to become killer. The obfuscation factor is co-branded. We understand that it is better to enable virally than to utilize transparently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP.
If you innovate perfectly, you may have to incubate cyber-ultra-mega-proactively.
Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Free? Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? We invariably engineer clicks-and-mortar B2C, integrated nano-iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without proactive impactful 24/7/365 TQM, you will lack affiliate-based compliance. We will optimize the term "mission-critical". What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? We will harness the power of paradigms to synergize. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We will step up our power to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to integrate. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to grow compellingly. Think super-social-network-based. Without reality-based bandwidth, you will lack bloatware.
We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. has refactored the concept of C2C. We will architect the buzzword "synergistic". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to recontextualize. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. Think short-term. Think reality-based. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, portals are forced to become C2B2B. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will disintermediate the buzzword "virtual". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!

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