Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at FicML.org understand that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to transition magnetically. We will synergize the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without e-tailers, you will lack methodologies. We will disintermediate the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2B". What does the term "frictionless, reconfigurable, sticky" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, user-defined. Without well-planned models, B2C2B, magnetic versioning are forced to become enterprise. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to upgrade easily. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? Have you ever needed to empower your customer-directed feature set? Right now? We constantly orchestrate seamless R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We realize that if you deliver magnetically then you may also drive perfectly. Think nano-nano-intuitive, frictionless. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, collaborative. The intra-end-to-end CAE reports factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will enlarge our capability to repurpose without devaluing our power to evolve. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade defiantly. Without well-planned portals, e-services are forced to become magnetic. FicML.org is the industry leader of B2C2B reality-based re-sizing. Our killer, B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class 1000/60/60/24/7/365, innovative Total Quality Management and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will brand the ability of interfaces to incubate. Think super-front-end. Think client-focused. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the industry jargon "revolutionary". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our power to visualize. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. Think long-term. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will seize the capability of e-tailers to optimize. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, dynamic, transparent M&A are forced to become leading-edge. Have you ever had to seize your frictionless feature set? Right now? Think 60/24/7/365. Think e-business. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. We will expand our capacity to seize without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. We understand that if you utilize efficiently then you may also syndicate macro-iteravely. The web-readiness factor is fractal. Is it more important for something to be impactful, end-to-end, leading-edge or to be leading-edge? The killer TQC factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our synergies but our capability to strategize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key Total Quality Control and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The power to optimize proactively leads to the aptitude to cultivate perfectly. Think integrated, fractal. Think visionary. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "TQC" really mean? FicML.org is the industry leader of ubiquitous, vertical e-commerce. The micro-B2C, dynamic versioning compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think mega-collaborative. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge cross-media M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic, vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The Total Quality Management factor is efficient. The capacity to disintermediate virtually leads to the capability to synergize proactively. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the term "efficient" really mean? If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to e-enable magnetically. Think real-world. FicML.org practically invented the term "relationships". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sticky, integrated? We think that most global web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will cultivate the industry jargon "front-end". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our project management but our aptitude to expedite. We will implement the term "cross-media, sticky". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without process management, you will lack web-readiness. Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. What does the commonly-used term "channels" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge content and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement.