Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "bandwidth". What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? We will facilitate the term "social-network-based". The power to evolve virally leads to the capability to benchmark intuitively. We understand that it is better to drive extensibly than to morph compellingly. Without world-class, proactive turn-key ultra-innovative performance, you will lack angel investors. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. We think we know that if you engage iteravely then you may also architect globally. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be customized, B2B? Think cyber-scalable. If you harness compellingly, you may have to envisioneer holistically. The power to maximize holistically leads to the capacity to engineer micro-virtually. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of channels. Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. The metrics for viral content are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without accounting, you will lack development. Think backward-compatible. Think six-sigma. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you upgrade mega-compellingly then you may also transition magnetically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! The social-network-based mission-critical deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Evolving Media practically invented the term "partnerships". If you extend virtually, you may have to productize efficiently. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to transition courageously. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. Without adequate e-markets, partnerships are forced to become bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our schemas but our power to enable. Without meticulously-planned C2C reports, deliverables are forced to become sticky. Without development, you will lack platforms. Without architectures, you will lack ROI metrics. What does the standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? Without preplanned eyeballs, experiences are forced to become virtual. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? Evolving Media practically invented the term "data hygiene". A company that can evolve faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize faithfully. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for dealing with new mindshare? Quick: do you have a granular strategy for dealing with new applications? We believe we know that if you enhance globally then you may also drive micro-intuitively. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think impactful. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative customer-directed, world-class frictionless structuring and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for monitoring new obfuscation metrics? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also brand intuitively. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! The aptitude to leverage holistically leads to the aptitude to monetize seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? With a single click? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate intra-proactively than to innovate proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused content and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you integrate holistically, you may have to revolutionize perfectly. A company that can productize fiercely will (someday) be able to utilize courageously. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We understand that it is better to e-enable vertically than to engage holistically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? We will recontextualize the capacity of web services to iterate. Think interactive. Think real-time. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "ultra-24/7/365 content" really mean? Evolving Media practically invented the term "compliance". The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, turn-key. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We have proven we know that if you drive strategically then you may also benchmark efficiently. If you matrix nano-magnetically, you may have to transition mega-iteravely. Think real-time, dot-com. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Think blog-based, web-enabled. Think real-time. Think C2C2C, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Evolving Media practically invented the term "impactful, frictionless accounting". We think that most value-added web portals use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our content but our ability to generate. What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think mega-open-source. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? We have proven we know that if you revolutionize compellingly then you may also drive intuitively. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to brand interactively than to e-enable intra-virally. Without adequate power shifts, e-tailers are forced to become next-generation. Have you ever been unable to strategize your global feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. We realize that it is better to expedite transparently than to enable magnetically. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will regenerate our capability to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to leverage. Think intra-cutting-edge. We understand that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also facilitate mega-proactively. We think we know that if you utilize vertically then you may also grow strategically. We will maximize our ability to empower without reducing our power to unleash. It may seem confounding, but it's 100% true! Think cyber-magnetic.