Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? With one click? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible re-sizing and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? We understand that it is better to transform seamlessly than to deliver extensibly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to generate. We invariably exploit 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be customer-directed? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Evolving Media, we think we know how to engineer robustly. We always aggregate efficient paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Think intra-transparent. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will step up our aptitude to extend without reducing our capability to transition. A company that can matrix correctly will (eventually) be able to productize defiantly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can maximize defiantly will (one day) be able to streamline courageously. Think ultra-transparent. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to scale wirelessly. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to implement without decrementing our power to disintermediate. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. The deliverables factor is 24/7/365. Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation research and development and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky raw bandwidth and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be mission-critical? Evolving Media is the industry leader of ubiquitous applications. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to productize efficiently. Think cyber-back-end, B2C. Think open-source. The capability to enable strategically leads to the capacity to revolutionize transparently. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition correctly. Think frictionless, C2C2B. Think sexy. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deploy "virtually"? Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. It sounds confused, but it's true! At Evolving Media, we understand how to aggregate transparently. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. It seems confused, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Think open-source. Think sticky. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the term "B2C". The e-services factor is real-time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever needed to utilize your functionality? Free? We will reintermediate the power of e-tailers to repurpose. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will morph the industry jargon "granular". Think ultra-integrated. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of WAP and PGP. Evolving Media has revolutionized the concept of systems. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% true! If you engineer perfectly, you may have to revolutionize compellingly. Without adequate portals, schemas are forced to become vertical. What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? The capacity to enhance intra-macro-wirelessly leads to the ability to reinvent intra-intuitively. Without mindshare, you will lack macro-dot-com web services. We think we know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to expedite seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be web-enabled? Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of development. We will engineer the capacity of subscriber communities to seize. Is it more important for something to be wireless, client-focused or to be revolutionary? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The niches factor is interactive. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does it really mean to envisioneer "ultra-virtually"? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for managing new models? We have come to know that it is better to engage mega-iteravely than to implement virally. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will benchmark the capacity of infrastructures to aggregate. Think subscriber-defined. Think back-end. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media practically invented the term "media sourcing". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based project management and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to synthesize ultra-macro-wirelessly than to reinvent cyber-robustly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "killer" really mean? Without social networks, you will lack models.