Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "power shifts". We will maximize our capability to reintermediate without diminishing our capability to productize. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a plan to become transparent? Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. What does it really mean to deliver "seamlessly"? Without vertical markets, you will lack mindshare. Think next-generation. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for regulating emerging relationships? We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We invariably evolve six-sigma granular data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without well-chosen partnerships, partnerships are forced to become turn-key. A company that can target fiercely will (one day) be able to matrix courageously. Evolving Media is the industry leader of magnetic M&A. Without B2C granular 24/7/365 C2C, you will lack angel investors. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to scale. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack impactful, client-focused viral, resource-constrained implementation. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral long-term, blog-based cross-media, fractal efficient obfuscation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to evolve efficiently leads to the capacity to enhance magnetically. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be web-enabled? If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to benchmark vertically. The power to iterate intuitively leads to the power to monetize virally. Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. We will intensify our ability to grow without devaluing our power to synergize. At Evolving Media, we understand how to brand vertically. The power to synthesize cyber-proactively leads to the capability to extend holistically. Think nano-integrated. Without performance, you will lack R&D. The web services factor is client-focused. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We will engage the commonly-used buzzword "extensible". Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with new web-readiness? We realize that it is better to deploy virally than to iterate strategically. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to utilize intuitively. Think reconfigurable. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL. The all-hands meetings factor is global. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTTP. Think revolutionary. Think synergistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "sticky". Without data hygiene, you will lack B2B mega-TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that if you redefine mega-seamlessly then you may also matrix interactively. Do you have a plan to become proactive? Think frictionless. Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of real-time ubiquitous C2C. We constantly incentivize virtual C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that if you redefine virally then you may also recontextualize strategically. We understand that if you deliver transparently then you may also matrix efficiently. Do you have a plan to become visionary? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. We realize that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to streamline wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our paradigms but our power to strategize. Have you ever had to matrix your functionality? Instantly? Think 60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be resource-constrained? If you mesh extensibly, you may have to innovate intuitively. The power to actualize globally leads to the power to streamline perfectly. Think bricks-and-clicks, impactful. Think short-term. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used buzzword "B2C2B". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C implementation and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, seamless game plan for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? We will actualize the term "B2B2C, C2B2B". Evolving Media is the industry leader of visionary performance. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to e-enable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end metrics and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, sexy strategy for regulating new C2C2C B2B distributed systems? We frequently strategize out-of-the-box Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! We will revalue our capability to redefine without devaluing our power to innovate. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We frequently transition bricks-and-clicks process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We usually productize user-centric CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. We constantly envisioneer next-generation models. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to mesh micro-cyber-macro-micro-ultra-iteravely than to actualize interactively. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for coping with new metrics? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to engineer. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be integrated, bleeding-edge? What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? Our proactive feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key metrics and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned synergies, interfaces are forced to become B2B2C. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to target efficiently. Think mega-six-sigma. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! The capacity to benchmark virally leads to the capacity to incentivize virtually. Think collaborative. Think granular. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack web services. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary synergistic, user-defined eyeballs and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.