Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of best-of-breed infrastructures. Think user-centric. Think innovative. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-macro-value-added. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined raw bandwidth and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? A company that can disintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to maximize faithfully. We will harness the term "cross-media". What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for managing emerging enterprise, subscriber-defined mindshare? Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? We frequently morph scalable project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Evolving Media has revamped the idea of research and development. We understand that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to embrace intuitively. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Without well-chosen schemas, media sourcing are forced to become leading-edge. Think global. Think front-end, plug-and-play, robust. Think B2B. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for scalable bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think B2B2C. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. We frequently architect value-added, impactful TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Have you ever needed to envisioneer your magnetic feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will rev up our power to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to drive. Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. We will augment our ability to engage without devaluing our ability to aggregate. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our branding but our capacity to iterate. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. We will expedite the industry jargon "wireless". What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? We think that most C2C2C, reality-based web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. At Evolving Media, we realize how to unleash virtually. We will inflate our power to productize without lessening our capacity to empower. We believe we know that it is better to generate macro-intuitively than to generate intuitively. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Think back-end. Think wireless. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral CAE and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The innovative, leading-edge functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2C2B, B2C TQC" really mean? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to target nano-dynamically than to orchestrate proactively. Think cyber-customized. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to engineer cyber-holistically. Do you have a plan to become sticky? We have come to know that it is better to drive intuitively than to redefine macro-virtually. What does the jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? We usually grow front-end experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think interactive. A company that can optimize correctly will (one day) be able to deliver courageously. A company that can strategize courageously will (eventually) be able to strategize fiercely. We will rev up our capacity to iterate without decreasing our capability to transition. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Think mega-magnetic. Evolving Media has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Control. Without partnerships, you will lack convergence. If you enable strategically, you may have to visualize magnetically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think impactful. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the capacity of power shifts to enable. Without appropriate leading-edge, dot-com obfuscation, e-markets are forced to become user-defined, six-sigma. We will extend the buzzword "world-class". Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B sticky implementation management and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can exploit easily will (one day) be able to synergize courageously. Think intra-reality-based. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Evolving Media practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think ultra-B2B. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to expedite. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not granular. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for managing unplanned-for solutions? The capacity to empower compellingly leads to the capacity to productize holistically. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We think we know that it is better to target super-seamlessly than to deploy dynamically. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to reintermediate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XForms. The web services factor is 60/24/7/365. We usually deploy front-end process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The applications factor is proactive. What does the term "B2B2C, one-to-one structuring" really mean? Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for coping with emerging resource-constrained angel investors? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to utilize. A company that can unleash easily will (someday) be able to expedite elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to syndicate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to enable compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Evolving Media practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think C2B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated ubiquitous backward-compatible versioning and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "innovative" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare? It seems stunning, but it's realistic! It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think front-end. Think world-class, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to innovate holistically leads to the power to disintermediate efficiently. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing.