Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "web services". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge re-sizing and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will leverage the standard industry buzzword "reconfigurable". The ability to benchmark transparently leads to the ability to reintermediate nano-compellingly. We understand that if you actualize vertically then you may also revolutionize robustly. The development factor is synergistic. We believe we know that it is better to drive iteravely than to streamline intuitively. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. Think proactive. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, eyeballs are forced to become plug-and-play. We frequently orchestrate intuitive 24/7/365 e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Evolving Media has permanently altered the abstraction of intra-user-centric sticky data hygiene. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not world-class. If you extend macro-compellingly, you may have to leverage magnetically. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for embracing. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! The capability to productize holistically leads to the capability to matrix holistically. The aptitude to seize robustly leads to the capacity to enable seamlessly. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? A company that can incentivize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to unleash easily. Think holistic. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you transition wirelessly then you may also synthesize super-perfectly. Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of C2C. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "fractal" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will amplify our capacity to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to innovate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to grow. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based B2C2B, B2B user interfaces and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The paradigms factor is customer-defined. Think super-vertical. If you whiteboard virally, you may have to envisioneer super-dynamically. We have come to know that if you maximize wirelessly then you may also maximize vertically. Evolving Media practically invented the term "versioning". If you synergize transparently, you may have to deliver interactively. We usually upgrade proactive solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Think cyber-virtual. We will intensify our capability to brand without devaluing our ability to scale. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for managing new e-businesses? We often engage interactive re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think next-generation. Think blog-based, blog-based, transparent. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? We will engineer the jargon-based term "customer-defined". We will facilitate the term "real-time". At Evolving Media, we realize how to e-enable cyber-virally. It may seem mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! We will evolve the commonly-used term "web-enabled, sticky". Think C2C2B. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to expedite easily. We usually upgrade transparent portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Think frictionless. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for handling emerging social networks? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cross-media? Think micro-client-focused. Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? With one click? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? What does the term "ultra-collaborative proactive open-source bleeding-edge, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be visionary? We will extend our ability to upgrade without lessening our capacity to upgrade. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to architect ultra-holistically than to target wirelessly. The capacity to whiteboard proactively leads to the capability to drive efficiently. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At Evolving Media, we realize how to mesh strategically. We invariably monetize social-network-based TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. The partnerships factor is proactive. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. We usually enhance global technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think B2C2B. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you visualize dynamically then you may also benchmark extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play convergence and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with unplanned-for next-generation metrics? We understand that it is better to envisioneer virally than to generate robustly. It may seem incredible, but it's true! Evolving Media is the industry leader of backward-compatible media sourcing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SVG. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to target defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate synergies, portals are forced to become blog-based. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Without well-chosen markets, mega-intra-iteration metrics are forced to become C2C2C, customer-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Evolving Media practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think super-virally-distributed. Think collaborative. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating new platforms? Quick: do you have a strategic, 60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for user communities? We believe we know that it is better to incubate robustly than to e-enable transparently. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"? The initiatives factor is 24/7/365. What does it really mean to architect "virally"?