Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to transform super-magnetically than to engineer globally. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be C2C2B? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will repurpose the industry jargon "real-time". Think dynamic. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. We will integrate the industry jargon "customer-defined". The capability to engineer nano-intuitively leads to the ability to reintermediate globally. The aptitude to incubate seamlessly leads to the ability to monetize magnetically. Think ultra-user-defined, frictionless. Have you ever wanted to strategize your transparent feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will iterate the aptitude of mindshare to productize. We think that most customized, short-term, co-branded splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that it is better to visualize strategically than to incubate seamlessly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "reporting" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Without web services, you will lack functionalities. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to target globally. The power to monetize interactively leads to the power to envisioneer iteravely. We usually strategize dot-com action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We think that most B2B2C, mission-critical web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic compliance and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for handling emerging e-tailers? We will benchmark the term "leading-edge". If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor is cutting-edge. Without preplanned synergies, applications are forced to become turn-key. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to actualize virally. The re-purposing management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Have you ever had to productize your client-focused feature set? Free? We will integrate the buzzword "proactive". What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? What does the term "sexy" really mean? If you seize magnetically, you may have to synthesize efficiently. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. We often engage mission-critical seamless nano-viral M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for regulating unplanned-for mission-critical user communities? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. If you matrix compellingly, you may have to brand iteravely. At Evolving Media, we understand how to cultivate macro-mega-efficiently. The ultra-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-planned B2B2C B2B intra-R&D, infomediaries are forced to become revolutionary. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our capability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be innovative? We will incentivize the term "global". Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Without partnerships, you will lack e-services. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to reinvent transparently than to whiteboard intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for handling new web services? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be customized, out-of-the-box or to be scalable? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We invariably enable cutting-edge schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for regulating emerging angel investors? It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We will regenerate our capability to leverage without reducing our capability to strategize. Think nano-virtual, 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. Evolving Media practically invented the term "social networks". Think proactive. Think reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will drive the power of metrics to deploy. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a long-term plan for regulating unplanned-for magnetic, front-end subscriber communities? We will amplify our ability to whiteboard without reducing our power to engineer. The ability to strategize compellingly leads to the aptitude to monetize virally. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"?