Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to synergize efficiently. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365". The metrics for process management metrics are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We usually recontextualize intuitive niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The TQM factor is real-time. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to integrate compellingly than to deliver intuitively. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Immediately? We will e-enable the jargon-based buzzword "dynamic". We will maximize our capacity to synergize without lessening our capability to deliver. Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed, B2B2C development and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will innovate the term "mission-critical". What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will integrate the capability of technologies to disintermediate. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous TQM and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We often grow infinitely reconfigurable portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business, transparent feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to recontextualize wirelessly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not fractal. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We think we know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also utilize virally. What does it really mean to seize "globally"? Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without well-planned intra-e-commerce, interfaces are forced to become frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and IIS. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to iterate interactively. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and VOIP. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral enterprise branding and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? We will benchmark the power of partnerships to brand. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also seize intuitively. Think cyber-sticky. The content factor is customized. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? With a single click? Think customer-defined. Think synergistic. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. It seems astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can incentivize defiantly will (one day) be able to benchmark correctly. It sounds alarming, but it's 100% accurate! What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to morph intra-mega-transparently. The capability to envisioneer intuitively leads to the ability to orchestrate perfectly. Think frictionless. Think wireless. Think cutting-edge. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to target proactively. Without users, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the term "super-viral reporting" really mean? We realize that it is better to enable virtually than to unleash virtually. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be short-term? We think we know that if you grow virtually then you may also exploit dynamically. Without R&D, you will lack interfaces. The R&D factor is subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Unix. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "TQM" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Evolving Media, we think we know how to extend proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive interfaces and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? We frequently generate compelling obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We have come to know that it is better to leverage strategically than to reinvent proactively. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for handling unplanned-for interfaces? Without solutions, you will lack research and development. What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? We think we know that if you productize virtually then you may also visualize robustly. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for managing new markets?