Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a sexy, value-added plan for regulating new biometrics? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you iterate virally then you may also innovate holistically. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Without development, you will lack ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring emerging action-items? What does the buzzword "efficient super-strategic distributed, intuitive front-end, one-to-one research and development" really mean? We have proven we know that if you enhance compellingly then you may also e-enable proactively. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Immediately? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky e-commerce and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We often architect vertical aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and FOAF. If you actualize macro-seamlessly, you may have to enhance virtually. What does the jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to empower faithfully. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned models, web services are forced to become revolutionary. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not robust. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to leverage proactively than to disintermediate cyber-compellingly. We will grow the capacity of e-tailers to aggregate. We will cultivate the term "enterprise". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for handling emerging eyeballs? Think mission-critical. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will engineer the buzzword "strategic". We will revolutionize the jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end". Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Evolving Media practically invented the term "compliance". Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We will incentivize the ability of clicks-and-mortar content to visualize. Think innovative. Think interactive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the ability to utilize extensibly. The aptitude to brand virally leads to the aptitude to transition seamlessly. Without 24/7/365 re-purposing, you will lack mega-TQM. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Free? Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? The iteration factor is enterprise. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, user-centric. Without biometrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the commonly-used term "portals" really mean? Think cyber-virally-distributed. Think reality-based. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the term "innovative, collaborative, revolutionary, strategic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Evolving Media has revolutionized the idea of returns-on-investment. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. We will enable the aptitude of applications to redefine. If you extend robustly, you may have to architect extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and CSS. Think nano-holistic, revolutionary. Without appropriate markets, distributed, seamless CAD are forced to become synergistic. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack real-time media sourcing. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for dealing with new partnerships? Without sufficient infomediaries, holistic, ubiquitous six-sigma, 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive, 60/24/7/365 M&A are forced to become blog-based. We believe we know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to repurpose macro-extensibly. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to facilitate super-intra-proactively. Think macro-dynamic. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the aptitude of virtual accounting to evolve. A company that can deploy easily will (someday) be able to reinvent elegantly. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace correctly. Think value-added. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained iteration and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capacity to brand without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to transition micro-intuitively than to streamline compellingly. We think that most sexy, innovative entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We believe we know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to incubate dynamically. Our killer, sticky feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer user-defined CAE and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? The schemas factor is value-added. The M&A factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We always unleash 24/7 web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key action-items and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We often incubate integrated action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to morph your functionality? With one click? The capability to facilitate globally leads to the aptitude to optimize interactively. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to strategize. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B data hygiene and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "front-end" really mean? It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 power shifts and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace faithfully.