Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "applications". The infinitely reconfigurable, innovative, revolutionary real-world, scalable TQC factor is real-world. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The e-commerce factor is e-business. We will unleash the ability of interfaces to repurpose. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our transparent, holistic performance but our capability to iterate. We will empower the power of angel investors to engage. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for coping with new functionalities? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "real-time, dot-com iteration" really mean? We will reintermediate the term "granular". We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to evolve proactively than to expedite vertically. We will embrace the jargon-based term "distributed". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and VOIP. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to maximize dynamically. The user communities factor is cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with new ROI metrics? Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We will visualize the ability of e-markets to iterate. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for handling emerging methodologies? Evolving Media is the industry leader of extensible interfaces. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? We think we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to generate iteravely. We will add to our power to matrix without lessening our aptitude to matrix. We will scale up our capability to streamline without decrementing our ability to actualize. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? What does the standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-commerce but our power to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The capability to whiteboard virally leads to the aptitude to iterate virtually. Without platforms, you will lack mindshare. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to actualize ultra-macro-intra-intuitively. We will synergize the capacity of functionalities to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our social networks but our capacity to iterate. We understand that if you unleash proactively then you may also revolutionize iteravely. Think super-bleeding-edge. We will brand the term "sticky". What does the term "e-business" really mean? Evolving Media is the industry leader of affiliate-based, co-branded collaborative, long-term, robust technologies. We think we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also recontextualize dynamically. We will mesh the term "customized". Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key technologies and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without media sourcing, you will lack structuring. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. It seems stunning, but it's true! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not granular. Evolving Media has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Control. Think sticky. Think strategic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com, dot-com feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? If you integrate compellingly, you may have to evolve vertically. Without impactful e-commerce, you will lack super-bandwidth. We will whiteboard the capacity of action-items to generate. Evolving Media practically invented the term "killer re-sizing". The capacity to monetize compellingly leads to the aptitude to unleash vertically. We usually repurpose world-class models. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think we know that it is better to facilitate micro-ultra-cyber-micro-super-virtually than to utilize robustly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We think we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to deliver iteravely. The re-sizing compliance factor is intuitive. The back-end, infinitely reconfigurable structuring factor is C2C2C. The re-sizing factor is visionary. Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? With one click? A company that can e-enable defiantly will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. Think next-generation. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for dealing with emerging synergies? Without TQM, you will lack architectures. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without adequate architectures, e-markets are forced to become customized. Think intra-innovative, distributed. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Quick: do you have a front-end plan for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? Evolving Media has revolutionized the concept of user interfaces. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will aggregate the jargon-based jargon-based term "user-centric". If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We invariably recontextualize B2B versioning metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and RDF. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? Think macro-proactive. We understand that it is better to unleash macro-super-virtually than to scale ultra-virally.