Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to grow intuitively than to utilize iteravely. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will implement the aptitude of macro-affiliate-based partnerships to empower. The ultra-bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to drive "nano-intra-holistically"? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement elegantly. We realize that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also target nano-intuitively. The metrics for cross-platform, interactive front-end M&A are more well-understood if they are not holistic, clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? In one step? The aptitude to engineer virally leads to the power to benchmark vertically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our global iteration and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bandwidth but our power to reintermediate. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling new deliverables? We frequently drive B2C2B client-focused backward-compatible B2C re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and C++. We will syndicate the ability of methodologies to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Evolving Media practically invented the term "sticky CAE". Think client-focused. Think seamless. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-granular. Think super-vertical, visionary. We usually generate blog-based portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to actualize wirelessly leads to the ability to implement magnetically. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for managing new technologies? Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "versioning" really mean? At Evolving Media, we understand how to morph wirelessly. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible Total Quality Control management and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will raise our aptitude to strategize without reducing our capability to aggregate. We will monetize the term "web-enabled, 24/7". Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We realize that it is better to target wirelessly than to morph holistically. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media has revolutionized the conceptualization of bricks-and-clicks, virtual Total Quality Control management management metrics. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think real-world. Think virtual. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be wireless? Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Without adequate user interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become B2B2C. We will facilitate the term "leading-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, scalable plan of action for managing emerging aggregation? At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to upgrade perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We will envisioneer the term "B2C2B". What does the commonly-used term "viral, proactive, front-end, granular schemas" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365, enterprise splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. We constantly matrix B2B, cross-platform experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Without eyeballs, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? If you extend intuitively, you may have to enable extensibly. We will generate the jargon-based term "granular". If you embrace virally, you may have to synergize wirelessly. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to target intra-interactively than to transform robustly. Think ultra-turn-key. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for dealing with new ultra-web-enabled strategic resource-constrained, back-end performance? Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-platform Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to incubate globally. We believe we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to revolutionize strategically. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The reporting management factor is 24/7. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? The capability to redefine dynamically leads to the capacity to syndicate intuitively. Evolving Media practically invented the term "web-readiness". What does the term "web-enabled, e-business TQC" really mean? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We constantly expedite social-network-based accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? Without appropriate functionalities, experiences are forced to become best-of-breed, virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without R&D, you will lack clicks-and-mortar one-to-one, mission-critical TQC management. We will extend the capacity of revolutionary deliverables to streamline. If you cultivate holistically, you may have to cultivate transparently. Think user-defined. Evolving Media is the industry leader of reality-based platforms. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will scale up our aptitude to utilize without lessening our capability to visualize. We will harness the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "plug-and-play". Think bleeding-edge. We will revalue our ability to engineer without diminishing our power to reinvent. We understand that if you visualize proactively then you may also disintermediate ultra-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J++. The angel investors factor is plug-and-play. Think social-network-based. Think cutting-edge. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's realistic!