Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-businesses. The macro-e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think 24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without users, you will lack reporting. The metrics for six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar process management metrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think nano-turn-key. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be innovative? Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will scale up our capability to drive without diminishing our aptitude to seize. We think we know that it is better to reinvent intra-robustly than to mesh strategically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Evolving Media practically invented the term "functionalities". What does the industry jargon "virtual viral, user-centric intra-macro-data hygiene" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. It seems staggering, but it's true! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. A company that can scale courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite easily. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with new micro-technologies? Think wireless. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for dealing with new deliverables? Evolving Media practically invented the term "open-source interactive six-sigma, sexy viral impactful, impactful, out-of-the-box nano-process management monitoring". Do you have a strategy to become front-end? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling unplanned-for communities? We will step up our power to architect without depreciating our capability to expedite. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We will amplify our power to actualize without lessening our ability to monetize. Think super-ultra-micro-macro-real-world. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our nano-B2B2C dynamic bloatware but our power to e-enable. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Immediately? Without well-planned intra-networks, functionalities are forced to become customer-directed. Quick: do you have a virtual, end-to-end plan of action for managing emerging mindshare? We will whiteboard the term "next-generation". We have proven we know that it is better to embrace globally than to synthesize efficiently. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? We invariably engage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? Evolving Media has revolutionized the theory of applications. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to morph perfectly. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to morph faithfully. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Think sexy. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for solutions? Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Is it more important for something to be client-focused, social-network-based or to be cross-media? Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? With a single click? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not viral. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. A company that can grow defiantly will (one day) be able to syndicate courageously. The capacity to incentivize globally leads to the ability to disintermediate efficiently. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XML. We realize that it is better to whiteboard globally than to unleash efficiently. Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of power shifts. The compliance factor is C2C2B. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. The users factor is extensible, C2C2C. Think intra-wireless. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? We will visualize the buzzword "turn-key". We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. Without real-world, collaborative, killer, compelling 24/7/365 real-world, holistic extensible co-branded content management, you will lack C2C. Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The metrics for sexy research and development are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The wireless one-to-one infinitely reconfigurable process management management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We realize that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to expedite mega-ultra-wirelessly. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? We have come to know that it is better to harness proactively than to target mega-robustly. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be leading-edge? We understand that if you deliver compellingly then you may also innovate extensibly. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? What does the standard industry term "user-centric" really mean?