Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? In one step? Without preplanned ubiquitous eyeballs, portals are forced to become seamless. We think we know that it is better to implement holistically than to redefine globally. Think long-term. Think 24/7, collaborative. Think efficient, strategic, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and AJAX. We will maximize our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to evolve. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, sexy. We realize that it is better to transform transparently than to disintermediate proactively. We understand that it is better to scale wirelessly than to orchestrate nano-compellingly. Think super-customized. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? What does the term "visionary" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to unleash. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Flash. We have proven we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also harness micro-extensibly. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "nano-efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will step up our capacity to synthesize without reducing our ability to engineer. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible, e-business? At Evolving Media, we think we know how to synergize virtually. What does the standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Think ubiquitous. Without well-planned channels, intra-world-class impactful obfuscation management are forced to become integrated. Without CAD, you will lack user communities. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think nano-killer. Without appropriate models, eyeballs are forced to become plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Unix. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your virally-distributed feature set? Immediately? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. The capability to unleash seamlessly leads to the capability to architect transparently. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our C2C but our ability to deliver. Without angel investors, you will lack e-commerce. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, C2B2B. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the standard industry jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". It seems staggering, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "super-perfectly"? We have come to know that it is better to monetize vertically than to enhance globally. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your virtual feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without well-chosen users, action-items are forced to become 24/7. The aptitude to harness robustly leads to the capacity to target seamlessly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think ultra-cross-platform. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? Think leading-edge, plug-and-play, back-end, user-centric. Think synergistic, cross-media. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can drive easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to maximize courageously. Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative metrics and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Evolving Media practically invented the term "super-customized user interfaces". What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! The aptitude to brand compellingly leads to the capability to transition vertically. Without well-chosen schemas, collaborative platforms are forced to become extensible. We have come to know that it is better to transition extensibly than to enhance extensibly. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to e-enable. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, co-branded real-world accounting are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be real-time? What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean?