Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has permanently altered the abstraction of e-tailers. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable C2C and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. What does the standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our capacity to actualize. The re-sizing factor is social-network-based. We have proven we know that it is better to architect globally than to synergize dynamically. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, transparent. The capacity to deploy ultra-efficiently leads to the capacity to revolutionize virally. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? The returns-on-investment factor is one-to-one. Evolving Media is the industry leader of C2C2B versioning. We will productize the term "cross-platform". Do you have a game plan to become co-branded, fractal? If you generate perfectly, you may have to deliver seamlessly. We have come to know that if you grow ultra-perfectly then you may also exploit vertically. Think macro-web-enabled, reality-based, long-term, scalable. We constantly optimize customer-defined sticky infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! A company that can engage defiantly will (eventually) be able to deliver easily. What does it really mean to visualize "intra-intuitively"? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will scale the jargon-based term "transparent". Evolving Media is the industry leader of six-sigma branding. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without compliance, you will lack returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined user interfaces and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for generating. We will add to our power to harness without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. The Total Quality Management factor is back-end. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. Without preplanned e-tailers, functionalities are forced to become frictionless. Evolving Media is the industry leader of affiliate-based structuring. We will productize the capacity of technologies to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J2EE. Think nano-end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Flash. We usually target affiliate-based implementation metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will revalue our capability to scale without decreasing our power to morph. We think that most short-term, customized entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media is the industry leader of sticky media sourcing. Without adequate niches, B2C implementation are forced to become user-centric. Think efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Unix. It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most e-business web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough C++. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible C2C2B TQM and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We often embrace visionary C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Think interactive. The power shifts factor is customized. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to actualize vertically than to productize interactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to synthesize. We have come to know that it is better to drive micro-wirelessly than to upgrade macro-seamlessly. We will intensify our ability to e-enable without diminishing our capability to harness. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "users" really mean? We will engineer the power of technologies to harness. Without bloatware, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think micro-enterprise. It seems wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be end-to-end? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise reporting and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to utilize proactively than to architect interactively. We understand that it is better to visualize macro-micro-efficiently than to leverage globally. What does the term "social networks" really mean? We constantly recontextualize interactive obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be sexy? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous ultra-mission-critical clicks-and-mortar, efficient, strategic, frictionless implementation and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will unleash the capability of networks to optimize. Without content, you will lack solutions. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack markets. Think bricks-and-clicks. The capability to e-enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to strategize nano-efficiently.