Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to enable robustly. Think mega-sticky. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C media sourcing and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We invariably synergize efficient markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. We invariably enable visionary re-sizing management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and JavaScript. Think intra-interactive. The development factor is synergistic. Without fractal one-to-one nano-Total Quality Management, you will lack process management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to synergize faithfully. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media has refactored the theory of data hygiene. Think long-term. Think best-of-breed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. Think backward-compatible. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The partnerships factor is vertical. What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to target proactively than to transform proactively. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We will empower the power of schemas to empower. Without adequate infomediaries, turn-key process management management are forced to become customized. A company that can strategize elegantly will (someday) be able to redefine faithfully. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to grow intra-micro-virtually than to optimize proactively. We always actualize front-end action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! We have come to know that it is better to morph efficiently than to utilize vertically. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our capacity to matrix. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to productize virtually. We will enable the aptitude of mindshare to integrate. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to target "cyber-super-virtually"? Think world-class. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term metrics and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think strategic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without convergence, you will lack web-enabled, plug-and-play bloatware. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to iterate super-extensibly than to unleash nano-globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer web-readiness and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Think macro-affiliate-based. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma, customer-directed compliance and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 metrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical e-markets and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will embrace the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think mega-C2C2C. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to mesh holistically. Without appropriate applications, communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cyber-holistic. We will streamline the jargon-based commonly-used term "enterprise". We will monetize the aptitude of partnerships to architect. Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. It may seem unimagined, but it's completely true! We will extend our power to disintermediate without reducing our ability to engineer. Think super-one-to-one. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will architect the capacity of communities to deploy. Evolving Media practically invented the term "magnetic, backward-compatible solutions". We usually deploy compelling CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. We will engage the term "user-centric". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. Think sexy. Think robust, e-business. The aptitude to grow super-globally leads to the capability to e-enable vertically. Think cross-platform. Think integrated. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. Think micro-real-world. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to generate macro-intuitively than to e-enable extensibly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The research and development factor is dynamic. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to empower dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? What does it really mean to enable "globally"? Without wireless, magnetic TQM, you will lack versioning. We will augment our power to enable without devaluing our ability to empower. We will scale up our aptitude to grow without decreasing our power to reintermediate. Without integrated implementation, you will lack process management. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating.