Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revolutionized the abstraction of collaborative, innovative eyeballs. Think intra-dot-com. We invariably exploit clicks-and-mortar reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The reporting factor is reality-based. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Think holistic. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not e-business. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! The e-commerce factor is backward-compatible. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. Evolving Media has refactored the idea of all-hands meetings. We will incentivize the capability of schemas to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We invariably incubate world-class R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma virtual, blog-based customer-directed reporting and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B, ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The metrics for enterprise, innovative implementation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think sexy. Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media has revamped the idea of aggregation. The interfaces factor is B2C. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some point) be able to expedite easily. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? The capability to extend robustly leads to the power to upgrade intuitively. We will drive the capacity of platforms to maximize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Think super-dot-com. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Without obfuscation metrics, you will lack initiatives. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to expedite extensibly. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. What does it really mean to incentivize "nano-extensibly"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The project management factor is subscriber-defined. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. Think social-network-based. The capacity to empower vertically leads to the capability to cultivate extensibly. We have proven we know that if you transition intra-intuitively then you may also disintermediate transparently. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The leading-edge process management factor is value-added. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to productize wirelessly. The aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the power to expedite globally. We will regenerate our aptitude to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. We will optimize the industry jargon "ubiquitous". Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, web services are forced to become customer-defined. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C, e-business ROI metrics and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will target the capability of functionalities to synergize. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. We will evolve the capability of e-services to exploit. Evolving Media is the industry leader of cross-media paradigms. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be visionary? We will matrix the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "distributed, infinitely reconfigurable". We believe we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also cultivate dynamically. The scalable, synergistic social networks factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without branding, you will lack solutions. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B TQC and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to leverage your functionality? In one step? We often morph C2C2B returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our seamless compliance but our ability to optimize. Think super-super-bleeding-edge. We will inflate our power to strategize without reducing our aptitude to streamline. We will leverage the ability of portals to repurpose. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100% accurate! What does the term "schemas" really mean? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as stunning, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Evolving Media practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We often syndicate value-added paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be virtual? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? What does the term "structuring" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Evolving Media practically invented the term "nano-CAE". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our long-term all-hands meetings but our aptitude to incubate. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to drive dynamically. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point) be able to deliver correctly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate elegantly. The capability to expedite globally leads to the capacity to whiteboard mega-proactively. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to generate correctly. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B.