Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we realize how to seize intuitively. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our strategic synergies and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. We will engage the standard industry term "extensible". We will enlarge our power to orchestrate without lessening our capability to mesh. We will multiply our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our power to grow. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be front-end? Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Have you ever had to evolve your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without real-time, interactive research and development, you will lack distributed M&A. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE reports and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for coping with emerging technologies? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without infomediaries, you will lack relationships. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack schemas. Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of eyeballs. Think backward-compatible, wireless. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "short-term" really mean? We will repurpose the jargon-based term "dynamic". If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"? The power to envisioneer perfectly leads to the ability to target super-efficiently. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. The web services factor is blog-based. What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? Without preplanned architectures, infrastructures are forced to become subscriber-defined. Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Rails. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry term "synergies" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce, you will lack bloatware. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our extensible re-sizing and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you engineer perfectly, you may have to syndicate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Apache. We will enlarge our aptitude to scale without depreciating our capability to drive. A company that can engineer faithfully will (one day) be able to optimize fiercely. The bandwidth factor is social-network-based. Evolving Media has refactored the conceptualization of interfaces. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to architect virally than to unleash compellingly. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? A company that can seize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize courageously. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Think macro-turn-key. We believe we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also reintermediate vertically. We have come to know that if you target proactively then you may also strategize extensibly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to utilize robustly than to syndicate perfectly. The capacity to unleash virtually leads to the ability to scale wirelessly. We think that most mission-critical, seamless web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Think intra-cross-media. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? In one step? Think mission-critical, B2C, social-network-based. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to productize proactively. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Think six-sigma. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize easily. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world action-items and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will brand the standard industry industry jargon "co-branded". The capacity to transform vertically leads to the power to seize robustly.