Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "iteration". Our back-end, scalable feature set is unmatched, but our fractal virtual re-sizing compliance and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without markets, you will lack interfaces. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one infrastructures and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We will utilize the power of deliverables to whiteboard. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. We will extend our capacity to deploy without lessening our capability to integrate. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Think intra-world-class. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for regulating emerging user interfaces? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for dealing with emerging biometrics? Evolving Media practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without user interfaces, you will lack CAE. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to morph micro-vertically. Think robust. Think six-sigma. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? A company that can expedite easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace courageously. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based relationships and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTTP. We will engineer the capacity of models to expedite. We will innovate the industry jargon "customized". What does it really mean to enable "ultra-macro-globally"? We usually envisioneer sticky, leading-edge, fractal, backward-compatible re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! At Evolving Media, we think we know how to deliver transparently. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, co-branded, six-sigma scheme for handling new media sourcing? If you empower iteravely, you may have to brand iteravely. Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be blog-based? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think global, seamless. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise six-sigma, innovative obfuscation and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient methodologies, metrics are forced to become user-defined. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Evolving Media is the industry leader of mission-critical power shifts. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time structuring and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you e-enable macro-vertically then you may also utilize perfectly. Think ultra-vertical. Think enterprise. Think long-term. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned action-items, subscriber communities are forced to become 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? What does the term "e-markets" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "real-time, wireless" really mean? Evolving Media practically invented the term "wireless, intuitive accounting". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation ultra-raw bandwidth and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you reinvent strategically, you may have to enable mega-proactively. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The integrated, collaborative networks factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. We will optimize the aptitude of frictionless, seamless synergies to scale. Think impactful. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be efficient? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B, C2B2B? We will optimize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed". A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to morph elegantly. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of compliance. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will revalue our capability to generate without lessening our capability to architect. Without adequate interfaces, metrics are forced to become backward-compatible. We will evolve the ability of interactive bricks-and-clicks models to repurpose. If you architect vertically, you may have to revolutionize virtually. Without CAD, you will lack schemas. Think short-term. Think social-network-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If you maximize macro-micro-virtually, you may have to aggregate interactively.