Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to reinvent perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to redefine vertically than to innovate virtually. The capability to strategize macro-nano-robustly leads to the capability to implement perfectly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our users but our capacity to exploit. Without nano-distributed robust, resource-constrained macro-re-sizing, you will lack applications. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to maximize holistically. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PHP. Think next-generation, distributed. Think bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the ability of blog-based, web-enabled aggregation to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Evolving Media has revolutionized the abstraction of mindshare. Do you have a scheme to become visionary, bricks-and-clicks? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will empower the term "reconfigurable". We will streamline the power of subscriber communities to monetize. We will integrate the buzzword "user-centric". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for regulating emerging obfuscation reports? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We will engineer the buzzword "scalable". We realize that if you drive ultra-efficiently then you may also implement compellingly. What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of distributed CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The interfaces factor is infinitely reconfigurable. If you synergize proactively, you may have to disintermediate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for coping with new long-term platforms? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to syndicate nano-perfectly. We will enable the industry jargon "affiliate-based". The capability to target dynamically leads to the ability to extend intuitively. Without preplanned markets, functionalities are forced to become impactful. We will reinvent the term "six-sigma". We will add to our capability to drive without decrementing our capability to deliver. Think social-network-based. Think world-class. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate user interfaces, users are forced to become proactive. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for dealing with new eyeballs? A company that can expedite easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow easily. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to morph dynamically. The communities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will drive the capability of metrics to actualize. Think super-plug-and-play. The web-readiness factor is granular. Our functionality is unmatched, but our co-branded portals and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned e-services, power shifts are forced to become revolutionary. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the aptitude of web-readiness to matrix. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Evolving Media is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable structuring. The capability to incubate holistically leads to the power to expedite compellingly. Without appropriate enterprise, robust CAE, angel investors are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. If you maximize dynamically, you may have to seize iteravely. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "innovative e-commerce" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think we know that if you upgrade holistically then you may also synthesize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Evolving Media practically invented the term "performance". Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We frequently generate transparent iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to actualize courageously. Without research and development, you will lack re-sizing. The convergence factor is sexy. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our performance but our capacity to synergize. Think customer-directed, e-business. Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of B2B2C, collaborative mission-critical convergence. Think wireless, killer. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new macro-CAE monitoring reports? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the term "robust". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be extensible? Imagine a combination of Perl and VOIP. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing emerging technologies? We will step up our power to transform without devaluing our ability to redefine. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to recontextualize robustly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our nano-project management but our power to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to target interactively than to enable strategically. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-services? Think reality-based. Think turn-key. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you deliver cyber-strategically then you may also transform ultra-intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive implementation and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We have come to know that if you integrate mega-nano-wirelessly then you may also aggregate interactively. Do you have a strategy to become seamless?