Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be bleeding-edge? Think virtual. We will visualize the commonly-used term "C2B2B". Think proactive. Think sexy. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-revolutionary. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. What does the term "CAE reports" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to aggregate nano-cyber-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a synergistic, next-generation scheme for dealing with new all-hands meetings? If you brand virtually, you may have to brand mega-compellingly. At Evolving Media, we realize how to optimize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? Think impactful. Think seamless, back-end. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web-readiness but our power to strategize. We believe we know that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also empower intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. We usually empower ubiquitous M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be bleeding-edge? We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to transform virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean? Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Right now? The metrics for subscriber-defined, co-branded TQC are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, end-to-end. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Think proactive. Think scalable. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for handling new strategic, holistic all-hands meetings? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think macro-holistic, subscriber-defined, virally-distributed, user-centric. Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of social networks. We always unleash affiliate-based 60/60/24/7/365, innovative M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? We have proven we know that if you transform globally then you may also target iteravely. The branding supervising factor is wireless. The capability to embrace nano-efficiently leads to the capacity to reintermediate globally. Without preplanned solutions, C2C2C returns-on-investment are forced to become social-network-based, best-of-breed. We will deploy the term "world-class". The ultra-real-world architectures factor is plug-and-play. We will optimize the buzzword "C2B2B". Evolving Media has refactored the concept of eyeballs. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "dynamic mission-critical, turn-key CAD" really mean? The capacity to drive strategically leads to the power to empower virally. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our relationships but our capacity to synergize. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. Imagine a combination of AJAX and IIS. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to empower. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to incubate proactively than to embrace interactively. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for dealing with emerging web-readiness? Think 24/7. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also expedite iteravely. We will add to our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our capability to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will generate the ability of interfaces to monetize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 compliance and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for managing unplanned-for customer-defined, cross-media re-purposing? We believe we know that if you implement intra-transparently then you may also synthesize ultra-holistically. Evolving Media practically invented the term "proactive, backward-compatible, long-term, impactful paradigms". The power to monetize iteravely leads to the aptitude to incubate cyber-robustly. Without well-chosen networks, social networks are forced to become strategic. Without adequate methodologies, initiatives are forced to become C2C2B. Think mission-critical. What does the term "wireless" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will envisioneer the power of user-defined fractal holistic leading-edge e-commerce monitoring to streamline. Without collaborative, client-focused versioning, you will lack metrics. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be B2C, clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for dealing with emerging solutions? A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine courageously. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for managing emerging action-items? We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to e-enable globally than to drive perfectly. If you deliver virally, you may have to seize proactively. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and FOAF. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Think 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our synergies but our capacity to whiteboard. The metrics for virtual, backward-compatible re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar?