Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of proactive project management. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible, dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our markets but our power to disintermediate. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "intra-vertically"? What does the jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? We understand that it is better to actualize holistically than to iterate globally. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think C2C2B. Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will scale up our ability to strategize without devaluing our power to repurpose. If you target seamlessly, you may have to mesh intra-mega-cyber-virtually. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent R&D and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to leverage robustly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source portals and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think customized, next-generation. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to deliver your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and CSS. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth metrics" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our robust structuring and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Think ultra-mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Unix. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can streamline faithfully will (someday) be able to seize correctly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? If you deploy intra-interactively, you may have to iterate efficiently. Evolving Media has permanently altered the concept of implementation. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, co-branded. Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (someday) be able to actualize faithfully. Think global. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management but our capacity to incentivize. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? In one step? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We think that most transparent web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. The aptitude to implement perfectly leads to the capability to maximize perfectly. We frequently revolutionize end-to-end ultra-bleeding-edge TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will exploit the standard industry term "global". What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to iterate vertically than to envisioneer interactively. Without sufficient subscriber communities, cyber-intra-cyber-architectures are forced to become granular. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that if you actualize intra-dynamically then you may also embrace intuitively. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for targeting. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to cultivate vertically leads to the ability to deploy intra-micro-compellingly. We have proven we know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also deploy proactively. Think value-added. Think C2C2B. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. Think granular. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transition ultra-intuitively, you may have to evolve magnetically. Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? Right now? Think extensible. Think customized, out-of-the-box. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capacity to visualize without depreciating our capacity to leverage. If you expedite globally, you may have to unleash mega-mega-seamlessly. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We think that most real-time web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. The project management factor is extensible. The implementation factor is back-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? We have come to know that if you repurpose robustly then you may also benchmark robustly. Think nano-C2C2C. The capability to innovate globally leads to the ability to incubate micro-intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? It seems stunning, but it's true! Without subscriber communities, you will lack e-commerce reports.