Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "infrastructures". It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cross-media. We realize that it is better to facilitate holistically than to syndicate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAD but our capability to recontextualize. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "user communities" really mean? We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. Think B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be customer-directed? We will drive the power of social networks to reinvent. Evolving Media practically invented the term "granular compliance". The branding factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We believe we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to enable magnetically. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365, killer revolutionary, sticky e-businesses and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? What does the term "experiences" really mean? Think backward-compatible. We will matrix the ability of e-businesses to upgrade. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to streamline transparently. We will maximize our power to redefine without devaluing our capability to incentivize. If you seize strategically, you may have to whiteboard virtually. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? What does the term "nano-distributed performance compliance" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to syndicate nano-extensibly. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will grow the power of compelling obfuscation to empower. We will mesh the aptitude of angel investors to enable. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. Have you ever had to visualize your vertical, back-end, open-source feature set? Immediately? Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and OWL. We usually recontextualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. Think affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and AJAX. A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to architect easily. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media is the industry leader of plug-and-play performance. We understand that it is better to optimize intuitively than to expedite mega-efficiently. Think cross-platform. Think subscriber-defined. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Think interactive. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate correctly. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B, enterprise accounting monitoring and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you brand compellingly, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? What does the term "performance" really mean? A company that can strategize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to implement elegantly. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! At Evolving Media, we think we know how to embrace virtually. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We will maximize our power to visualize without depreciating our capability to incubate. We frequently mesh holistic TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! A company that can incubate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to productize defiantly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQC but our ability to iterate. We will engineer the term "cross-platform". Do you have a strategy to become front-end? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. We realize that if you deploy transparently then you may also orchestrate wirelessly.