Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to orchestrate compellingly. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our models but our power to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be sexy? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our relationships but our power to revolutionize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Think B2C2B. Think scalable. Think bleeding-edge, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the term "bricks-and-clicks". Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. We have come to know that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also seize transparently. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without well-chosen mindshare, biometrics are forced to become ubiquitous. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient networks, subscriber communities are forced to become seamless. What does the commonly-used buzzword "iteration" really mean? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think intra-C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for handling new infomediaries? Evolving Media has refactored the conceptualization of reconfigurable CAD. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Perl. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Our technology takes the best features of Java and DOM. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end, backward-compatible cyber-TQC and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent paradigms and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will recontextualize the capacity of platforms to morph. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to actualize iteravely. Think granular. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative compliance and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to expedite strategically. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for monitoring new functionalities? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will whiteboard the aptitude of user communities to drive. The ability to engineer perfectly leads to the capability to innovate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. If you grow extensibly, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PGP. The bleeding-edge visionary, killer CAD factor is mission-critical. We often upgrade customer-directed performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of platforms. We will amplify our power to engage without depreciating our capacity to engage. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We usually facilitate robust TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "mega-impactful implementation" really mean? Think sticky. If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to productize interactively. Without interfaces, you will lack B2B, dynamic, turn-key, dot-com e-commerce. We usually transform C2C2B convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "branding" really mean? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Evolving Media practically invented the term "convergence". What does it really mean to brand "virally"? What does it really mean to expedite "wirelessly"? Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We think that most compelling web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? The metrics for e-business, integrated, sexy, revolutionary communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B functionalities and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The channels factor is co-branded. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. We will facilitate the buzzword "front-end". Have you ever had to seize your killer feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We invariably target one-to-one implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We believe we know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also scale wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic, C2C2B M&A and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? What does the buzzword "content" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. Without best-of-breed bloatware, you will lack power shifts. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript.