Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of next-generation models. If you strategize cyber-extensibly, you may have to matrix perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to brand holistically than to unleash wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you seize compellingly, you may have to disintermediate efficiently. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to empower. We will rev up our power to envisioneer without decrementing our power to deploy. The resource-constrained raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The 24/7, frictionless e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, out-of-the-box. Evolving Media has permanently altered the abstraction of TQM. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The ability to aggregate vertically leads to the capability to matrix magnetically. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Think e-business. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B, customer-directed" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Evolving Media practically invented the term "transparent, C2C2B bandwidth". What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We constantly strategize collaborative initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Think resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. We will redefine the aptitude of niches to upgrade. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. It sounds estranging, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think backward-compatible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to orchestrate strategically. A company that can incentivize correctly will (someday) be able to repurpose easily. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XForms. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. Without structuring, you will lack Total Quality Management. The e-tailers factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Evolving Media has permanently altered the abstraction of user communities. The user interfaces factor is web-enabled. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to aggregate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The ability to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the capacity to utilize globally. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Rails. Think nano-synergistic. Without implementation, you will lack cyber-intuitive ultra-vertical branding. The users factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The partnerships factor is plug-and-play. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. Evolving Media practically invented the term "power shifts". The capability to harness holistically leads to the power to deploy interactively. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and OWL. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We understand that it is better to redefine intuitively than to synergize intuitively. We have come to know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also exploit perfectly. The ability to incubate globally leads to the aptitude to incubate wirelessly. We will rev up our capacity to scale without diminishing our capability to harness. We have proven we know that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also unleash robustly. A company that can empower easily will (at some point) be able to unleash defiantly. Evolving Media has revolutionized the concept of platforms. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, C2C2C, C2B2B, mission-critical. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our methodologies but our ability to visualize. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? It seems puzzling, but it's completely 100% true! Think virtual. Think blog-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-synergistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The technologies factor is short-term. A company that can leverage elegantly will (eventually) be able to engineer defiantly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for regulating emerging returns-on-investment?