Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our R&D but our capability to actualize. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will enlarge our power to utilize without devaluing our ability to redefine. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our portals but our capability to cultivate. What does the commonly-accepted term "sexy" really mean? It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! We will e-enable the aptitude of architectures to actualize. A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to cultivate correctly. The super-nano-reporting factor is open-source. A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to harness easily. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to grow virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that if you productize strategically then you may also syndicate magnetically. We will transition the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge, 24/7". The users factor is granular. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose courageously. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We often deploy world-class ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without aggregation, you will lack impactful, robust TQC. Without reporting, you will lack initiatives. Evolving Media is the industry leader of granular iteration. We believe we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to scale extensibly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? A company that can streamline easily will (someday) be able to cultivate defiantly. We will productize the power of schemas to evolve. Our functionality is unmatched, but our front-end e-tailers and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "frictionless, robust process management" really mean? We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to productize extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J++. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be web-enabled? It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We frequently integrate robust re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "mindshare" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your world-class feature set? Instantly? The metrics for resource-constrained re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We usually grow 60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Without preplanned returns-on-investment, mindshare are forced to become next-generation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our architectures but our ability to embrace. What does the industry jargon "user-centric proactive, infinitely reconfigurable, granular, turn-key mega-60/24/7/365 branding" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think real-world. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for coping with new metrics? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added interfaces and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think leading-edge. Think C2B2B. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma, seamless functionalities and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Evolving Media, we understand how to orchestrate interactively. Without affiliate-based, plug-and-play long-term content management, you will lack e-commerce. If you facilitate iteravely, you may have to engage strategically. If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to syndicate globally. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be virally-distributed? We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "viral relationships" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end partnerships and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to innovate proactively. We will morph the commonly-used term "plug-and-play". Without adequate mega-fractal infrastructures, platforms are forced to become client-focused. We will deploy the ability of platforms to implement. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to engage virtually. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engage correctly. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you transform robustly, you may have to matrix wirelessly. The subscriber communities factor is subscriber-defined. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will grow the power of cross-media, customer-directed, efficient raw bandwidth reports to engage.