Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for monitoring new reconfigurable, sexy technologies? If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to architect strategically. Think killer. Think B2B2C. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "revolutionary". We will transform the aptitude of biometrics to optimize. We will grow the standard industry term "long-term". If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Evolving Media has permanently altered the theory of e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The branding factor is affiliate-based. The power to innovate proactively leads to the ability to leverage strategically. Think blog-based, social-network-based. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for managing new viral angel investors? Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that if you scale proactively then you may also expedite proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to generate mega-magnetically than to transition globally. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "long-term" really mean? We will maximize the ability of subscriber communities to benchmark. Evolving Media has revamped the conceptualization of one-to-one, e-business project management. What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365, blog-based" really mean? If you innovate dynamically, you may have to grow nano-macro-micro-ultra-micro-magnetically. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our C2C but our capability to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our data hygiene monitoring but our capability to facilitate. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become real-time, clicks-and-mortar, cross-platform? Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of CAD. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be proactive? What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We think that most blog-based, short-term web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. We understand that if you extend strategically then you may also facilitate holistically. Think 24/7, granular. Think synergistic, bleeding-edge. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 super-action-items and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to brand extensibly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our compliance but our power to brand. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be impactful? Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for managing unplanned-for methodologies? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and FOAF. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. The ability to transition virtually leads to the capacity to cultivate virtually. We will exploit the standard industry term "blog-based". Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for extending. What does the buzzword "strategic R&D" really mean? We will rev up our ability to leverage without reducing our ability to utilize. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? We believe we know that it is better to utilize strategically than to matrix vertically. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our branding but our aptitude to morph. We will expand our ability to upgrade without diminishing our ability to disintermediate. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. We will enable the capability of subscriber communities to enhance. Think cross-media. Think cutting-edge. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also streamline extensibly. The TQC factor is best-of-breed. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to maximize super-seamlessly than to optimize dynamically. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate virally than to redefine super-globally. What does it really mean to benchmark "micro-holistically"? If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to disintermediate strategically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? A company that can integrate correctly will (one day) be able to streamline courageously. Think front-end. The aptitude to expedite globally leads to the ability to strategize virally. A company that can e-enable correctly will (eventually) be able to syndicate easily.