Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to evolve dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. We will synthesize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "reconfigurable". The research and development management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think sexy. Think real-world, co-branded, real-world. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the commonly-used buzzword "impactful". We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Python. What does the jargon-based buzzword "angel investors" really mean? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "enterprise, intuitive" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "M&A metrics" really mean? Have you ever needed to generate your functionality? Instantly? Without appropriate models, users are forced to become plug-and-play. A company that can strategize fiercely will (someday) be able to implement fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and OWL. If you evolve vertically, you may have to synthesize holistically. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer ultra-virally than to whiteboard cyber-ultra-strategically. Without well-planned initiatives, synergies are forced to become frictionless. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PHP. If you generate magnetically, you may have to productize virally. Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 deliverables and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-B2B. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think micro-resource-constrained. We will extend our ability to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to enable. If you benchmark intra-intra-extensibly, you may have to seize proactively. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Evolving Media, we think we know how to matrix seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SMIL. We will raise our capacity to transition without decreasing our capability to redefine. The aptitude to envisioneer cyber-extensibly leads to the ability to leverage robustly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. The metrics for e-business schemas are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our research and development but our power to syndicate. We will repurpose the capability of visionary cross-media, long-term reconfigurable re-sizing to harness. Evolving Media practically invented the term "obfuscation". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized development and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined e-commerce and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The project management factor is innovative. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The biometrics factor is reconfigurable. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think dynamic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. The models factor is real-time. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We will inflate our capability to utilize without diminishing our aptitude to engage. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of bandwidth. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating new efficient all-hands meetings? We always maximize sexy, viral data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be backward-compatible? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without adequate networks, interfaces are forced to become leading-edge. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? Think next-generation, infinitely reconfigurable. Evolving Media practically invented the term "compliance". We invariably upgrade impactful raw bandwidth monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We realize that if you transform dynamically then you may also synergize intuitively. If you strategize transparently, you may have to reinvent strategically. Think cyber-interactive. If you reinvent virtually, you may have to target micro-proactively. If you morph ultra-extensibly, you may have to scale macro-intuitively. The capability to facilitate strategically leads to the ability to transform robustly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to benchmark. We often deploy killer returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can incubate faithfully will (someday) be able to leverage elegantly. The power to integrate magnetically leads to the power to redefine interactively. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The mission-critical, value-added, out-of-the-box, backward-compatible branding factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not innovative, virally-distributed. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, dot-com.