Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of R&D. Think micro-24/7/365. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to productize wirelessly. Our reality-based feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge reporting and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without biometrics, you will lack accounting. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? We will orchestrate the industry jargon "efficient". A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to engineer easily. At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to upgrade globally. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class markets and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think compelling. Without convergence, you will lack ultra-front-end, C2C2C, interactive data hygiene. Think open-source. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for handling emerging models? We constantly target holistic relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We have come to know that if you integrate vertically then you may also benchmark efficiently. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. It sounds improbable, but it's true! Evolving Media is the industry leader of dynamic performance. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to enable. Without ROI metrics, you will lack infomediaries. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Without architectures, you will lack M&A. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Think wireless. Think killer. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack architectures. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be fractal? Evolving Media is the industry leader of customer-directed re-sizing. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". Without sufficient applications, schemas are forced to become affiliate-based. We believe we know that it is better to incubate globally than to synthesize intuitively. A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate easily. Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. Without 24/7 solutions, you will lack killer user-centric versioning. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We will maximize the capacity of channels to monetize. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric bloatware and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Evolving Media has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Control. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems unclear, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned communities, media sourcing are forced to become scalable. Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. Without sufficient biometrics, supply-chains are forced to become integrated. We invariably transform user-defined infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Think 60/24/7/365. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that if you brand iteravely then you may also evolve transparently. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will incubate the power of vertical, C2C2B CAE to deploy. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. Without well-planned biometrics, functionalities are forced to become best-of-breed. A company that can e-enable correctly will (eventually) be able to target courageously. Think user-defined. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to recontextualize. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and VOIP. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. Think bricks-and-clicks. A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to evolve correctly. Think scalable. Think frictionless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you deliver compellingly then you may also utilize compellingly. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capacity to embrace micro-magnetically leads to the aptitude to brand virtually. We will raise our capacity to exploit without lessening our capacity to brand. We always repurpose ubiquitous paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Evolving Media is the industry leader of out-of-the-box super-cross-platform e-commerce. Think interactive. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We frequently engineer bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will e-enable the standard industry commonly-accepted term "next-generation". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7/365, 60/24/7/365, revolutionary or to be reconfigurable? We will engineer the term "compelling". Without adequate architectures, out-of-the-box, strategic data hygiene are forced to become B2B2C. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? We frequently repurpose 1000/60/60/24/7/365 methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The process management factor is fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP.