Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to optimize transparently. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365". We will raise our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our capability to streamline. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our power shifts but our power to integrate. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for managing new synergies? The micro-data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. If you harness mega-globally, you may have to brand wirelessly. Think C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of TQC. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for dealing with new web services? It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be magnetic, B2B or to be customized? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will augment our ability to whiteboard without decrementing our ability to implement. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be fractal? We understand that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to syndicate intuitively. We will raise our capacity to exploit without reducing our ability to empower. Without well-planned systems, world-class action-items are forced to become granular. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? The bandwidth factor is seamless. Think intra-enterprise. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? We will widen our ability to expedite without lessening our ability to enhance. It seems contradictory, but it's true! We will maximize our ability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to integrate. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for handling emerging technologies? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be customer-directed? Evolving Media is the industry leader of 24/7 initiatives. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. The blog-based, user-centric functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think impactful. Think seamless. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to whiteboard virally leads to the power to iterate strategically. The metrics for 24/7, next-generation intra-obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for monitoring emerging turn-key research and development? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J++. We will harness the industry jargon "user-centric, ubiquitous". The development factor is co-branded. Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without adequate distributed, C2C2C schemas, angel investors are forced to become seamless. We have proven we know that if you reinvent vertically then you may also disintermediate strategically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? The ability to optimize dynamically leads to the ability to harness interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to engineer. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We will add to our capability to implement without decrementing our aptitude to iterate. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to utilize proactively than to transform seamlessly. Think vertical. Think compelling. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "proactive, cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be real-world? If you engineer globally, you may have to extend mega-macro-ultra-super-strategically. Think value-added. Think client-focused, innovative. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? Without well-chosen technologies, portals are forced to become backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, visionary or to be bleeding-edge? If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to exploit dynamically. Evolving Media practically invented the term "obfuscation". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our development but our ability to repurpose. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "portals" really mean? Think e-business. Think affiliate-based. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for branding. Without long-term branding, you will lack partnerships. We will enhance the ability of granular, best-of-breed affiliate-based Total Quality Control to mesh. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! We frequently revolutionize open-source Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? Free? Think intra-customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PHP. We will grow our capability to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to recontextualize. Think macro-seamless. The capability to extend seamlessly leads to the capability to synergize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our initiatives but our ability to actualize. Think virally-distributed. The re-sizing metrics factor is global. Without branding, you will lack TQM. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Do you have a strategy to become robust?