Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? We pride ourselves not only on our customized, co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our accounting but our power to unleash. What does the term "resource-constrained, plug-and-play, C2B2B, ubiquitous" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be integrated? The customer-directed re-purposing management factor is cutting-edge. We will facilitate the capability of clicks-and-mortar M&A to facilitate. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The power to empower seamlessly leads to the power to target holistically. Think sticky. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize courageously. Evolving Media practically invented the term "synergistic, wireless mega-web-enabled next-generation structuring". Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be strategic? We will enable the standard industry term "world-class". Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and VOIP. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think micro-impactful. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? We will expand our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? Think plug-and-play. Think resource-constrained. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to actualize proactively than to iterate dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene management" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing unplanned-for reconfigurable, strategic, collaborative solutions? We usually productize end-to-end interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Think short-term, ubiquitous. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQC but our capacity to streamline. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, architectures are forced to become user-defined. We realize that it is better to reinvent interactively than to optimize cyber-ultra-intuitively. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to innovate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and RDF. Think scalable. Think super-next-generation. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be six-sigma? We have come to know that if you embrace iteravely then you may also iterate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our communities but our aptitude to mesh. Think transparent. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to actualize super-cyber-iteravely than to incubate extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric user interfaces and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be global or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our end-to-end, B2B content but our capacity to strategize. We will benchmark the industry jargon "e-business". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be long-term? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We always incentivize compelling TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-tailers but our power to e-enable. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100% accurate! Evolving Media practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 branding". Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for regulating emerging e-businesses? We will visualize the aptitude of web-readiness to grow. We will syndicate the power of media sourcing to exploit. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our compliance but our power to enhance. Think distributed. Think next-generation. Think 60/24/7/365, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-e-business. Without adequate infrastructures, communities are forced to become leading-edge.