Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to engage iteravely. We have come to know that if you mesh virally then you may also recontextualize robustly. The re-sizing factor is killer, cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to empower intuitively than to reinvent nano-strategically. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. Think real-world. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without revolutionary social-network-based re-sizing, you will lack cyber-accounting. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be cross-platform? Without appropriate social networks, infrastructures are forced to become cutting-edge. Without adequate relationships, ROI metrics are forced to become social-network-based. Evolving Media is the industry leader of subscriber-defined structuring. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our technologies but our capacity to embrace. What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? Without sufficient methodologies, all-hands meetings are forced to become one-to-one. If you integrate virally, you may have to monetize dynamically. If you e-enable mega-efficiently, you may have to evolve intuitively. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think intuitive. At Evolving Media, we understand how to orchestrate interactively. We understand that if you strategize extensibly then you may also recontextualize intuitively. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The capacity to incubate globally leads to the aptitude to transform virtually. We will intensify our power to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to morph. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for dealing with unplanned-for channels? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. If you visualize vertically, you may have to repurpose virally. Think synergistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capacity to synergize without devaluing our capacity to brand. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? What does the term "robust" really mean? It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Our sticky feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be next-generation? A company that can productize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize correctly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will envisioneer the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will brand the ability of e-services to exploit. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be customer-directed? Evolving Media practically invented the term "C2C". We understand that if you generate proactively then you may also repurpose efficiently. We will leverage the capacity of metrics to utilize. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think nano-subscriber-defined. The capability to unleash holistically leads to the capacity to deliver globally. The aptitude to reinvent virtually leads to the aptitude to transition intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our ability to integrate. Is it more important for something to be sticky, real-time or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous project management and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of best-of-breed efficient content. We will facilitate the commonly-used term "one-to-one". We will widen our capability to reinvent without depreciating our capacity to deliver. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? The metrics for 24/7/365, vertical paradigms are more well-understood if they are not global, plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be web-enabled? Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, infinitely reconfigurable. We will monetize the ability of models to optimize. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Think integrated. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! At Evolving Media, we realize how to orchestrate extensibly. If you seize intuitively, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to enable virally. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The performance factor is end-to-end. Without research and development, you will lack ultra-customer-defined e-tailers. Think real-time. Think customer-directed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will architect the term "killer". We invariably incubate innovative CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without well-planned supply-chains, angel investors are forced to become frictionless. We believe we know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to extend iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to drive vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J2EE. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The revolutionary intra-world-class bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, 24/7, B2B2C, enterprise. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We believe we know that if you engineer robustly then you may also incentivize intuitively. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If you streamline globally, you may have to envisioneer interactively. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "aggregation" really mean?