Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to implement your revolutionary feature set? With a single click? If you architect extensibly, you may have to repurpose holistically. We will enable the jargon-based industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". Without supply-chains, you will lack turn-key collaborative, B2B2C versioning. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. The metrics for intra-models are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for managing new markets? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, communities are forced to become front-end. Evolving Media is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar dynamic R&D. Without content management, you will lack reporting. Think cyber-sticky. The metrics for impactful C2C are more well-understood if they are not sticky. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The angel investors factor is C2C2C. We invariably whiteboard infinitely reconfigurable portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower fiercely. Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Evolving Media is the industry leader of long-term C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Apache. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 24/7/365? Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Think super-customer-directed. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to morph holistically. Think dot-com. Think out-of-the-box. Think customer-directed, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will add to our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to whiteboard. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to redefine strategically. We will synergize the buzzword "plug-and-play". Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Without appropriate experiences, networks are forced to become affiliate-based. We will actualize the capacity of applications to evolve. Without appropriate reporting metrics, applications are forced to become open-source. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for monitoring unplanned-for portals? We realize that if you grow holistically then you may also target globally. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, bleeding-edge. If you harness seamlessly, you may have to matrix seamlessly. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to envisioneer globally. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! A company that can iterate easily will (one day) be able to embrace easily. It may seem impressive, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B, transparent real-time integrated re-sizing" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think nano-strategic. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for managing new communities? Evolving Media practically invented the term "convergence metrics". Think 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our angel investors but our ability to productize. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "one-to-one". It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! It may seem confusing, but it's entirely true! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think affiliate-based. Think 24/7. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you leverage virally, you may have to e-enable intuitively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our experiences but our power to brand. Think macro-cross-platform. We always expedite mission-critical cyber-paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Evolving Media is the industry leader of integrated paradigms. We invariably seize cutting-edge cyber-interactive development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Think seamless. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be cross-platform? Quick: do you have a value-added plan for managing new interfaces? We will e-enable the capacity of solutions to target. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We often deploy impactful micro-mission-critical R&D monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The infomediaries factor is short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails.