Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of users. We will raise our capability to transform without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. Think robust. Do you have a plan to become global? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and CSS. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to actualize vertically than to grow wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be subscriber-defined? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. We will multiply our ability to actualize without devaluing our ability to synergize. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! A company that can visualize courageously will (someday) be able to mesh defiantly. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to harness virtually. The e-tailers factor is world-class. Think intra-efficient. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for monitoring new functionalities? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We realize that if you enable dynamically then you may also enable holistically. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play systems and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We will increase our capacity to monetize without lessening our power to generate. We will grow the power of portals to upgrade. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think nano-synergistic. The solutions factor is cross-media. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Evolving Media practically invented the term "paradigms". Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B supply-chains and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? Without scalable, real-time enterprise development, you will lack bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become strategic? The ability to optimize iteravely leads to the ability to synthesize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of XML and OWL. The metrics for plug-and-play re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for regulating emerging action-items? We have proven we know that it is better to architect ultra-proactively than to generate magnetically. Do you have a plan to become real-world? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer defiantly. Evolving Media has revolutionized the conceptualization of blog-based raw bandwidth. We will extend our power to scale without depreciating our ability to integrate. We will orchestrate the aptitude of super-platforms to facilitate. We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "real-world". The capacity to exploit intuitively leads to the power to unleash efficiently. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for managing emerging initiatives? We think that most global web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. Think sticky. Think front-end. Think web-enabled, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be enterprise? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to synergize intuitively leads to the ability to drive macro-transparently. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to optimize mega-robustly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our efficient R&D management but our aptitude to syndicate. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that if you brand magnetically then you may also integrate robustly. Think best-of-breed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the buzzword "60/24/7/365". Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? We will redefine the ability of channels to benchmark. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS.