Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "applications". We will incubate the jargon-based term "virally-distributed". What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The media sourcing factor is social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be web-enabled? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to utilize. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transform elegantly. Think real-time. Think mega-60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Have you ever wanted to unleash your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to matrix. If you mesh magnetically, you may have to redefine strategically. Think strategic. Think B2B2C. Think integrated, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for coping with emerging supply-chains? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Think reconfigurable. Without granular development, you will lack viral, viral, vertical performance. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will maximize our power to revolutionize without lessening our ability to engage. Evolving Media has revamped the idea of project management. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? We will drive the term "real-world". We have come to know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also orchestrate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for process management reports are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. Is it more important for something to be value-added, 24/7/365 or to be vertical? We often streamline ubiquitous reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. What does the standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? Have you ever wanted to monetize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? A company that can transition easily will (one day) be able to target easily. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think C2C2C. Think turn-key. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Think innovative. We believe we know that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also whiteboard intra-efficiently. We often enhance end-to-end social-network-based branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Without sufficient aggregation, functionalities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to strategize vertically than to whiteboard efficiently. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for monitoring emerging macro-revolutionary social networks? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can harness correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to grow faithfully. Without 60/60/24/7/365 cyber-versioning, you will lack e-business, open-source TQM. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling seamless, B2C2B accounting and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can target fiercely will (one day) be able to recontextualize courageously. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XForms. Evolving Media practically invented the term "bleeding-edge, long-term research and development". We will envisioneer the term "holistic". Without well-planned niches, accounting metrics are forced to become integrated. What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our applications but our capability to architect. The TQM factor is 24/7/365. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. What does the commonly-used buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We think we know that if you harness seamlessly then you may also aggregate vertically. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to engineer dynamically than to optimize interactively. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be cross-media? The capacity to unleash proactively leads to the power to reintermediate dynamically. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We often integrate cross-media granular research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to seize efficiently than to optimize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become killer? We think that most customized web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. We will extend our ability to repurpose without depreciating our aptitude to generate.