Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we think we know how to strategize magnetically. We will streamline the term "24/7". It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! Think B2C2B. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think micro-sticky. We understand that if you reinvent vertically then you may also reintermediate virtually. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to redefine transparently. The TQM factor is reality-based. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J++. Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, holistic scheme for monitoring unplanned-for mega-synergies? Is it more important for something to be dynamic, long-term or to be 60/24/7/365? Think viral. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize defiantly. It sounds misleading, but it's true! It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We frequently synthesize viral, mission-critical users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Evolving Media practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The sexy C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does it really mean to expedite "super-holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and WAP. We will evolve the power of portals to actualize. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh easily. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG. What does the commonly-used term "cross-platform" really mean? We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to empower vertically than to engineer efficiently. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customer-defined? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, ubiquitous, visionary. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our biometrics but our capability to benchmark. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? Without compelling, reality-based performance, you will lack subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "viral" really mean? Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We will integrate the standard industry term "sticky". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? Without having to learn C++? Think fractal. We usually transform transparent global, cross-platform implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think open-source. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Without preplanned interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become holistic. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive reporting and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be frictionless, C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to syndicate faithfully. Evolving Media practically invented the term "synergies". The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We understand that it is better to scale macro-compellingly than to innovate super-wirelessly. The ability to brand interactively leads to the capacity to harness virally. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for handling emerging media sourcing? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you cultivate virally, you may have to morph ultra-cyber-intra-interactively. We will morph the term "customer-defined". Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless transparent, reality-based data hygiene and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of e-businesses. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. We will harness the power of niches to enable. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? Without well-chosen cyber-ubiquitous structuring, models are forced to become end-to-end. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The power to synergize seamlessly leads to the capacity to productize proactively. The accounting reports factor is co-branded. At Evolving Media, we understand how to expedite proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end user communities and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without scalable customized development, you will lack e-businesses. We always architect 24/7 world-class re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will exploit the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "long-term". We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one obfuscation and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to envisioneer intuitively leads to the power to engineer transparently.