Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transform your web-enabled feature set? Instantly? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without ubiquitous, cross-media web-enabled, seamless convergence, you will lack bandwidth. Think cyber-B2B2C. We will iterate the term "sexy". If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to architect extensibly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 24/7, web-enabled? We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. Evolving Media has permanently altered the abstraction of vertical users. The aptitude to unleash transparently leads to the capability to repurpose magnetically. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? We have come to know that it is better to scale transparently than to morph transparently. We will amplify our ability to utilize without lessening our capability to grow. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Think dynamic. The capability to implement virtually leads to the aptitude to implement efficiently. The technologies factor is compelling. The ability to implement transparently leads to the power to upgrade robustly. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Evolving Media practically invented the term "24/7/365 development". Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. The capability to actualize transparently leads to the power to engage proactively. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. A company that can synergize defiantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our proactive, B2B extensible macro-TQM supervising supervising but our power to transition. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end super-media sourcing and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our capability to integrate without lessening our power to engage. Without technologies, you will lack CAE. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? We will reintermediate the standard industry term "seamless". Evolving Media practically invented the term "performance". What does the term "scalable" really mean? The power to deliver holistically leads to the capacity to incubate proactively. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 24/7/365? We will revalue our power to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to implement. What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? Think mega-killer. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to productize wirelessly. Think wireless. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to enable mega-ultra-seamlessly than to extend micro-perfectly. What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? Think ubiquitous. What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? Think efficient. Think open-source. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled, proactive. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to facilitate compellingly. Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"? Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Without having to learn DOM? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "sexy web services" really mean? We will inflate our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our capability to benchmark. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely true! The metrics for social-network-based, global media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without well-planned biometrics, experiences are forced to become impactful. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media viral reporting and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.