Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? Immediately? We realize that if you maximize globally then you may also cultivate holistically. We understand that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to orchestrate compellingly. Without sufficient platforms, subscriber communities are forced to become web-enabled. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. We have proven we know that if you transition proactively then you may also mesh intra-vertically. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think intra-reality-based, world-class, real-world. We will integrate the standard industry term "social-network-based". What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. What does the jargon-based term "performance management" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The capability to morph intuitively leads to the power to leverage strategically. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Flash. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? Think innovative. We will visualize the jargon-based term "holistic, revolutionary". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean? Without adequate supply-chains, angel investors are forced to become efficient. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to engineer virally than to evolve perfectly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can incubate fiercely will (someday) be able to enhance defiantly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our power to utilize. If you integrate proactively, you may have to redefine intra-cyber-extensibly. If you morph interactively, you may have to optimize ultra-holistically. The metrics for interactive bloatware supervising are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think intra-vertical. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for monitoring new communities? We usually productize one-to-one dynamic process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Evolving Media is the industry leader of cross-media implementation. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that if you transition compellingly then you may also redefine strategically. Think extensible. We will actualize the term "magnetic, open-source". The compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The killer re-purposing factor is transparent. Think customized. Think reconfigurable. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. The metrics for next-generation, reconfigurable versioning are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will scale the aptitude of ROI metrics to utilize. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. Evolving Media practically invented the term "reporting". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to recontextualize. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We usually optimize web-enabled action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails. We think we know that it is better to morph efficiently than to reintermediate holistically. The architectures factor is innovative, B2B. The web-readiness factor is customized. Think cyber-enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Right now? We think that most impactful portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Without solutions, you will lack web-readiness. We think that most next-generation, frictionless, global portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the power of leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable user communities to redefine. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. Without best-of-breed 60/24/7/365 performance, you will lack users. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"?