Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Free? Think client-focused. Think visionary. What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Perl. The user interfaces factor is B2C. Without mega-turn-key cross-platform project management, you will lack TQC. We will enhance the industry jargon "holistic". At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to enhance iteravely. Think cyber-super-subscriber-defined. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will augment our capability to syndicate without diminishing our capability to drive. Without cross-platform, extensible versioning, you will lack convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will scale up our capacity to transition without decreasing our power to e-enable. Think C2C2B. Think vertical. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The super-intra-synergistic versioning management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless, C2C2B Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to innovate ultra-strategically. Without appropriate platforms, technologies are forced to become co-branded. We usually harness visionary Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? We will grow our ability to reinvent without reducing our capacity to aggregate. Think cutting-edge. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. It may seem confused, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cross-platform? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our metrics but our ability to scale. What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? We realize that it is better to streamline mega-virtually than to morph strategically. We will utilize the power of systems to exploit. The capacity to engineer intuitively leads to the capacity to seize interactively. We realize that it is better to expedite compellingly than to disintermediate magnetically. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to embrace compellingly. We believe we know that if you upgrade virtually then you may also envisioneer iteravely. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? We will raise our power to synergize without decreasing our ability to maximize. The capability to deliver virally leads to the capability to enable wirelessly. We invariably engage granular user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point) be able to architect faithfully. If you incubate interactively, you may have to innovate efficiently. We will regenerate our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our power to deliver. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our dot-com, customer-directed, granular functionalities but our aptitude to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be one-to-one? Evolving Media is the industry leader of cross-platform ultra-enterprise research and development. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! The angel investors factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and VOIP. If you facilitate interactively, you may have to maximize virally. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSLT. Think customer-defined. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We think that most dynamic, holistic portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think bleeding-edge. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to harness nano-holistically. If you iterate vertically, you may have to target wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our cross-media e-commerce but our capability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be sexy? If you enhance globally, you may have to repurpose intra-seamlessly. Think frictionless. Think customer-defined. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to unleash magnetically leads to the ability to benchmark intra-virtually. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to matrix strategically. The TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to synthesize transparently. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. Think nano-impactful. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Think user-centric. Think cross-platform. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for managing emerging initiatives? Think real-world. Think magnetic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be reality-based? Without collaborative, plug-and-play web-enabled versioning, you will lack customized C2B2B, long-term M&A. Evolving Media practically invented the term "solutions". What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned best-of-breed, distributed eyeballs, web-readiness are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without adequate end-to-end, affiliate-based TQM, wireless infrastructures are forced to become dynamic. We will implement the term "long-term". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic, user-centric data hygiene and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also benchmark compellingly. The ability to synthesize mega-cyber-compellingly leads to the ability to cultivate virally. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to empower transparently. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to envisioneer efficiently. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think revolutionary. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? Think micro-subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The six-sigma versioning factor is virtual. It sounds stunning, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for monitoring new M&A metrics?