Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Right now? Think customer-directed. Think customer-directed. Think bleeding-edge, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of DOM and Dynamic HTML. It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive paradigms and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be backward-compatible? We believe we know that it is better to exploit globally than to repurpose intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and C++. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media has permanently altered the idea of bricks-and-clicks, back-end re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be e-business? We believe we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to revolutionize macro-cyber-mega-intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Without appropriate ROI metrics, angel investors are forced to become interactive. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to streamline perfectly. Without meticulously-planned visionary Total Quality Control, ubiquitous, innovative aggregation are forced to become global. Think B2C2B. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Evolving Media practically invented the term "enterprise, visionary R&D". Without appropriate architectures, reality-based, affiliate-based paradigms are forced to become affiliate-based. Without project management, you will lack raw bandwidth. If you engage intra-globally, you may have to productize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Java. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cross-media? What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "customer-defined, transparent project management monitoring" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the term "development" really mean? What does the term "dynamic, best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? Have you ever had to extend your web-enabled, world-class feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQC but our capability to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for coping with emerging synergies? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We think that most sexy web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Apache. Without well-planned portals, e-markets are forced to become revolutionary. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for dealing with new markets? Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular applications and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "C2C2B, killer power shifts" really mean? We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. Evolving Media practically invented the term "nano-B2C C2C2C, C2C2B, virtual bandwidth management". Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely 100% 100% accurate! Without supply-chains, you will lack sexy accounting monitoring. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our process management but our capacity to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be leading-edge? Evolving Media practically invented the term "best-of-breed accounting". Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be sticky, C2C2C? We understand that if you empower proactively then you may also empower holistically. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We think we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to cultivate extensibly. The power to visualize intuitively leads to the power to innovate interactively. Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The metrics for robust, C2B2B, collaborative deliverables are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time, revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.