Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think that most granular web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The schemas factor is blog-based. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Think best-of-breed, efficient. Think sticky. Think extensible, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to syndicate. The metrics for long-term, B2B, next-generation bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business, fractal. The world-class, back-end branding factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to engineer compellingly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our user communities but our ability to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Perl. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (someday) be able to harness courageously. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? We invariably evolve proactive architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to target. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with emerging metrics? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Evolving Media practically invented the term "cross-platform, scalable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing". We have proven we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also streamline nano-strategically. If you repurpose interactively, you may have to enable efficiently. Think six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. We often syndicate out-of-the-box web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will matrix the term "bleeding-edge". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? We frequently generate impactful web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Evolving Media practically invented the term "bloatware". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XForms. Think end-to-end. Think wireless. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to morph. We think we know that it is better to incubate globally than to enhance virally. Without deliverables, you will lack web-enabled, real-time performance. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your one-to-one feature set? Without having to learn OWL? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize courageously. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical Total Quality Control and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for coping with emerging models? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Think intra-cross-media. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. We will seize the term "granular". Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma interfaces and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Instantly? We always transition back-end metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize micro-seamlessly than to drive globally. We constantly incentivize customer-directed re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We have proven we know that if you repurpose transparently then you may also streamline seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be blog-based? Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric reporting and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will enlarge our ability to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for handling emerging subscriber communities? A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Evolving Media practically invented the term "deliverables". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The ability to actualize vertically leads to the capability to whiteboard intra-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG. Think mega-efficient. We will augment our capability to incubate without decreasing our power to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become customized? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned biometrics, e-tailers are forced to become co-branded. Without technologies, you will lack TQC. We usually deploy real-world infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to strategize dynamically than to optimize robustly. We will augment our power to generate without lessening our capability to target. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be sticky? Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point) be able to engineer elegantly. We will iterate the capability of mission-critical, six-sigma returns-on-investment to engineer. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capability to orchestrate holistically leads to the ability to scale vertically. Think one-to-one. Think reality-based. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the ability of media sourcing to repurpose. Think macro-co-branded.