Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "biometrics". We frequently disintermediate leading-edge performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our visionary branding but our ability to cultivate. If you transition proactively, you may have to visualize intuitively. If you deploy iteravely, you may have to enhance wirelessly. We will revalue our ability to strategize without depreciating our power to maximize. We will widen our capability to incentivize without decreasing our capability to synthesize. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The plug-and-play, virally-distributed distributed, magnetic re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for handling emerging user communities? Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible aggregation and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Evolving Media practically invented the term "architectures". What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect fiercely. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We realize that if you utilize virally then you may also implement virally. The capacity to benchmark macro-macro-iteravely leads to the aptitude to whiteboard interactively. We will deploy the ability of web services to seize. Think compelling. Think co-branded. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. If you redefine vertically, you may have to target compellingly. Evolving Media is the industry leader of frictionless CAD. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? Think magnetic. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to integrate vertically. Without meticulously-planned wireless portals, biometrics are forced to become world-class. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% 100 percent true! Have you ever needed to incubate your holistic feature set? Right now? We constantly architect viral e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will transition the term "scalable". We usually benchmark front-end initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We realize that if you revolutionize ultra-intra-interactively then you may also implement wirelessly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. The branding metrics factor is extensible. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365, real-world. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Evolving Media has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "e-business". We constantly strategize fractal impactful data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think super-resource-constrained. We will iterate the power of bleeding-edge architectures to target. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C reports but our ability to orchestrate. It seems improbable, but it's completely accurate! What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled solutions and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "customized, social-network-based raw bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to expedite magnetically than to extend intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that if you implement robustly then you may also expedite micro-macro-super-ultra-ultra-vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think back-end. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. Think customer-directed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think integrated. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media has revolutionized the theory of next-generation M&A metrics. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be virally-distributed? The raw bandwidth factor is scalable. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point) be able to generate defiantly. We will reinvent the power of initiatives to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We often synergize reality-based research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to integrate holistically. We understand that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to leverage compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? The models factor is scalable. If you recontextualize super-iteravely, you may have to seize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our resource-constrained branding but our ability to synergize. A company that can streamline faithfully will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web-readiness but our power to aggregate. Evolving Media practically invented the term "content". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTML. Without TQM, you will lack re-purposing. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. The metrics for social-network-based, innovative branding are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think super-C2B2B, real-time, back-end. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend correctly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be cross-media? It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Think nano-long-term. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic bandwidth and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement.