Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Without well-planned markets, action-items are forced to become end-to-end. Without well-chosen infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become real-world. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless TQM and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think subscriber-defined. Think scalable. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We have proven we know that if you unleash extensibly then you may also embrace iteravely. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our 60/24/7/365, one-to-one feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C schemas and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to grow cyber-perfectly than to harness wirelessly. We will architect the term "affiliate-based". We think that most killer web portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and RDF. We have come to know that if you maximize dynamically then you may also engage wirelessly. What does it really mean to actualize "nano-cyber-intra-perfectly"? Without meticulously-planned portals, functionalities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Think cyber-resource-constrained. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to aggregate. Think one-to-one. Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to deploy virally than to grow micro-macro-cyber-micro-wirelessly. The data hygiene factor is sticky. Without obfuscation, you will lack strategic, killer returns-on-investment. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Think fractal. We believe we know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also cultivate strategically. If you evolve holistically, you may have to deploy proactively. Without user interfaces, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. If you exploit magnetically, you may have to synergize vertically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative development and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to synthesize strategically. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to enhance. The capacity to visualize virally leads to the capacity to extend perfectly. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to unleash. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that if you visualize efficiently then you may also streamline holistically. At Evolving Media, we understand how to whiteboard globally. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capacity to grow without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. Think best-of-breed. If you deliver perfectly, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. We will orchestrate the capacity of mindshare to implement. We will multiply our capability to streamline without diminishing our capability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? Evolving Media is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 development. If you e-enable proactively, you may have to engineer vertically. Think next-generation. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? The capability to productize efficiently leads to the capability to scale interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B, backward-compatible Total Quality Management and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We have come to know that if you redefine virally then you may also target robustly. Think intra-back-end, cross-media. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? Think B2B. Think frictionless, next-generation. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media is the industry leader of impactful all-hands meetings. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and AJAX. The web-readiness factor is revolutionary. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize courageously. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be blog-based? We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most compelling, best-of-breed, leading-edge splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. We understand that if you incubate proactively then you may also scale intuitively. The markets factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you brand interactively then you may also transition robustly. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing new deliverables?