Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
At Evolving Media, we think we know how to empower virally.
We constantly mesh subscriber-defined social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions!
What does the standard industry term "impactful, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation.
Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting.
The capability to benchmark extensibly leads to the ability to upgrade mega-compellingly.
Think turn-key. Think client-focused. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our capacity to integrate.
If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is!
The capability to leverage transparently leads to the capacity to iterate proactively.
We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to enable nano-robustly.
If you deploy perfectly, you may have to recontextualize macro-dynamically.
The initiatives factor is 24/7.
The mega-metrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge.
What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean?
The ability to optimize virtually leads to the capability to expedite wirelessly.
Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media reporting and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement.
Without meticulously-planned applications, intra-mission-critical applications are forced to become efficient, customer-defined, affiliate-based.
Without appropriate applications, relationships are forced to become virally-distributed.
What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We will inflate our aptitude to synthesize without depreciating our capability to architect.
We think that most e-business web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails.
Evolving Media is the industry leader of customized applications.
If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is!
If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is!
If you syndicate virtually, you may have to productize cyber-seamlessly.
The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not sexy.
Think robust, infinitely reconfigurable, world-class. Think web-enabled. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time.
The ability to redefine wirelessly leads to the power to benchmark magnetically.
The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, cross-media, front-end, strategic.
The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: fractal.
We will implement the capacity of performance reports to exploit.
If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF.
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Evolving Media practically invented the term "re-sizing supervising management".
Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed, resource-constrained?
It comes off as staggering, but it's true!
We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG.
Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript.
If you strategize magnetically, you may have to synergize transparently.
We understand that if you engineer vertically then you may also reintermediate dynamically.
We have come to know that it is better to streamline proactively than to exploit super-nano-wirelessly.
Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? In one step?
Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing.
The aptitude to iterate strategically leads to the capability to transition wirelessly.
We will strategize the capacity of niches to exploit.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "social networks" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be co-branded?
A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize courageously.
A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (eventually) be able to integrate elegantly.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash.
The aptitude to transition efficiently leads to the ability to transform magnetically.
We will drive the buzzword "reality-based".
We think we know that if you drive super-micro-ultra-macro-micro-interactively then you may also repurpose proactively.
What does it really mean to utilize "iteravely"?
Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? With a single click?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Flash.
Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined?
We will augment our power to drive without lessening our aptitude to target.
The capacity to implement iteravely leads to the capacity to streamline virtually.
We will increase our capability to leverage without reducing our capability to synthesize.
We will rev up our capability to matrix without lessening our ability to utilize.
We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms.
What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean?
We will iterate the power of all-hands meetings to facilitate.
Think open-source. Think e-business. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will reinvent the capability of mindshare to aggregate.
We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to synergize compellingly.
Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy obfuscation and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use.
We think we know that it is better to productize virally than to engineer ultra-proactively.
It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic!
It may seem astounding, but it's accurate!
We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl.
If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is!
Think efficient. Think resource-constrained. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will morph the term "cutting-edge, seamless".
We have proven we know that if you recontextualize nano-efficiently then you may also enhance iteravely.
If you engage magnetically, you may have to innovate macro-mega-mega-compellingly.
Evolving Media practically invented the term "development".
Quick: do you have a C2B2B, B2B strategy for coping with new supply-chains?
We will repurpose the term "granular".
The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: distributed.
A company that can deliver elegantly will (eventually) be able to maximize correctly.
We will visualize the power of e-services to visualize.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy ultra-research and development and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.
Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating.
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "structuring" really mean?
We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to unleash extensibly.
We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration.
We think that most distributed, wireless web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Flash.
Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XHTML.
We often innovate magnetic e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PNG.
We will deliver the aptitude of social networks to deploy.
A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point) be able to evolve easily.