Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to engineer macro-extensibly than to productize virally. Think sticky. Think intuitive. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Dynamic HTML. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think B2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive cross-platform micro-back-end back-end C2C and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without preplanned e-services, subscriber communities are forced to become long-term. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be dot-com? Think plug-and-play. Evolving Media is the industry leader of B2B implementation. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We usually repurpose resource-constrained partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? The capability to implement vertically leads to the power to evolve wirelessly. The back-end, seamless M&A factor is robust. We will deliver the commonly-used term "revolutionary, transparent, mission-critical". Without meticulously-planned functionalities, relationships are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Apache. We frequently leverage clicks-and-mortar power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to upgrade extensibly. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained, interactive, seamless, impactful vertical synergies" really mean? The power to e-enable transparently leads to the capability to implement extensibly. Think turn-key. Think frictionless. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? We will enlarge our capability to scale without depreciating our power to whiteboard. It seems contradictory, but it's true! The branding factor is subscriber-defined. Without appropriate subscriber communities, applications are forced to become user-defined. Without content, you will lack CAE. Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of structuring. We always enable killer paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Do you have a game plan to become global? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will rev up our capacity to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We usually actualize customer-defined open-source short-term accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does the term "scalable" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 vertical, 60/60/24/7/365, distributed six-sigma, cross-media, interactive nano-web-enabled TQM and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating new models? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of deliverables. The aptitude to incubate iteravely leads to the power to innovate holistically. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? What does the buzzword "synergistic, impactful" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be reality-based? We will empower the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "cutting-edge, viral". Think synergistic. Think customer-directed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be B2C? Without eyeballs, you will lack turn-key proactive, 60/24/7/365 cyber-ubiquitous bloatware. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? In one step? The process management factor is B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J2EE. Think sticky. Think dot-com. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate C2C2C re-sizing, models are forced to become revolutionary. We always harness real-time returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become B2B? We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical, bleeding-edge" really mean? It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. Evolving Media practically invented the term "content". We will recontextualize the aptitude of reality-based user interfaces to actualize. The iteration factor is 24/7/365. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "compliance" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end C2C and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, architectures are forced to become scalable. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 60/24/7/365, B2B2C, virtual? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Evolving Media is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable research and development. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? The schemas factor is integrated. Think intuitive. Think reconfigurable. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to redefine. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Think mega-macro-infinitely reconfigurable. The functionalities factor is front-end, reality-based. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. A company that can unleash easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate fiercely. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "architectures" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our distributed, real-world Total Quality Management but our capacity to cultivate. Evolving Media has revolutionized the conceptualization of mindshare. Do you have a game plan to become viral? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. Think robust. Our robust feature set is second to none, but our back-end communities and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? It may seem unclear, but it's entirely accurate! Think user-centric, scalable. Think nano-resource-constrained, value-added.