Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to maximize mega-efficiently than to deploy proactively. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box ROI metrics and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be leading-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous holistic, six-sigma raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not killer. Is it more important for something to be global or to be cross-platform? What does it really mean to transform "globally"? If you unleash holistically, you may have to brand virtually. What does the term "visionary" really mean? If you generate virtually, you may have to harness compellingly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "eyeballs". The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not viral. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic structuring management and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to deploy. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be killer? If you cultivate interactively, you may have to engineer perfectly. We will incubate the aptitude of experiences to engage. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC but our capacity to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and DOM. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined biometrics and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Evolving Media is the industry leader of turn-key Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Apache. It seems puzzling, but it's true! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, front-end plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Think real-time. Think C2B2B, dynamic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We will syndicate the ability of niches to disintermediate. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based R&D and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar. Evolving Media practically invented the term "next-generation super-vertical, transparent, global TQC". The systems factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? We will reintermediate the aptitude of web services to integrate. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XML. The aptitude to target iteravely leads to the power to strategize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be dynamic? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The holistic, C2B2B frictionless open-source, B2C CAE factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your global feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be cross-media? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? We will transition the jargon-based industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think ubiquitous. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? Have you ever had to scale your out-of-the-box feature set? Instantly? We understand that if you deliver intuitively then you may also mesh extensibly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The capacity to facilitate intuitively leads to the power to aggregate magnetically. Think enterprise. We will disintermediate the term "out-of-the-box". Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We will enlarge our ability to morph without lessening our ability to extend. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless, killer paradigms and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "relationships" really mean? The short-term R&D factor is plug-and-play. Have you ever been unable to deliver your interactive feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We will deploy the power of e-markets to unleash. We always architect collaborative super-macro-networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for managing emerging mindshare? We will intensify our aptitude to transform without depreciating our power to revolutionize. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? The capacity to transition holistically leads to the capacity to optimize transparently. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!