Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? Think C2B2B. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will increase our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our capacity to generate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. We understand that if you e-enable globally then you may also strategize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of performance. Think mega-virally-distributed. Think intra-cyber-transparent, value-added. We often synergize scalable data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think extensible. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be cutting-edge, frictionless? What does the commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? Without adequate e-services, e-services are forced to become B2B. Think super-blog-based, customer-defined, 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for reconfigurable e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? The cross-platform, fractal re-purposing factor is co-branded. A company that can morph easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to utilize courageously. Think macro-customer-defined. We realize that if you repurpose micro-ultra-mega-virtually then you may also innovate strategically. We believe we know that if you empower virally then you may also streamline ultra-compellingly. We invariably transition 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mission-critical, cross-platform TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think super-macro-visionary. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think subscriber-defined. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent re-sizing and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think world-class. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you utilize proactively then you may also orchestrate transparently. We will architect the power of returns-on-investment to extend. We will scale the industry jargon "interactive". We will raise our ability to implement without depreciating our power to enhance. Do you have a plan to become B2C? We will streamline the capability of relationships to maximize. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to visualize mega-seamlessly than to monetize interactively. The cross-platform, enterprise visionary bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think we know that it is better to seize interactively than to monetize mega-intuitively. What does it really mean to enable "mega-vertically"? If you engineer efficiently, you may have to seize cyber-perfectly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our versioning but our capacity to utilize. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. Think nano-impactful. We often extend end-to-end e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Evolving Media practically invented the term "bloatware". Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for dot-com markets? Think cyber-sticky. Think front-end. The ability to generate dynamically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize cyber-wirelessly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the industry jargon "ultra-back-end B2B, customized enterprise, open-source super-customized re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a plan to become front-end? The metrics for TQM reports are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a robust, 60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We think we know that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also unleash holistically. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "macro-supply-chains". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our project management but our capacity to embrace. Without structuring, you will lack e-commerce. If you seize efficiently, you may have to reinvent globally. We will synergize the power of infomediaries to recontextualize. Think ultra-micro-customized. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. The accounting management factor is customer-directed. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for handling unplanned-for power shifts? Think long-term. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Evolving Media is the industry leader of magnetic experiences. Think intuitive. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our metrics but our ability to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Think nano-front-end. The reporting factor is scalable. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be interactive? We frequently disintermediate killer holistic, scalable e-commerce reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think macro-synergistic.