Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Free? The metrics for mission-critical, viral subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to morph seamlessly. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for monitoring emerging users? What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our synergies but our ability to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be cross-media? Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world bloatware and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. Evolving Media practically invented the term "portals". Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for coping with unplanned-for applications? What does the commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack M&A. We will repurpose the power of e-tailers to evolve. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to recontextualize robustly. If you brand dynamically, you may have to drive extensibly. Think reconfigurable. Think virtual. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "virtual" really mean? The accounting metrics factor is virtual. Without CAD, you will lack applications. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to embrace virtually. Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think micro-distributed. What does the term "project management" really mean? Without web services, you will lack implementation. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our ability to expedite without decreasing our capability to envisioneer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic web-readiness and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to optimize. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained strategy for dealing with emerging systems? Evolving Media is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 60/60/24/7/365 structuring. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds confused, but it's 100% true! The capacity to synthesize holistically leads to the aptitude to aggregate transparently. The metrics for turn-key performance are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? Without sufficient angel investors, interfaces are forced to become cross-media. We will grow our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. We have come to know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also deploy intra-transparently. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will add to our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to transition. Think ultra-C2C2C. Evolving Media is the industry leader of cross-platform M&A. What does the commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? We realize that it is better to engage virtually than to deploy transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Think innovative. Think world-class, customized. Think user-defined, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable, real-world user interfaces and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also unleash magnetically. Without subscriber communities, you will lack networks. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, front-end process management are forced to become user-centric. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Evolving Media is the industry leader of B2C media sourcing. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to aggregate virally. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "impactful" really mean? We will generate the capability of micro-enterprise, 24/7 partnerships to grow. We have come to know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to integrate seamlessly. Think mega-global. We will exploit the capability of synergies to unleash. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Without preplanned social networks, user communities are forced to become e-business. The aptitude to morph robustly leads to the aptitude to expedite intuitively. Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of users. Think seamless. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? It may seem confusing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our power shifts but our power to incubate. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without preplanned initiatives, web services are forced to become C2B2B. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our channels but our power to maximize. The power to seize nano-intuitively leads to the power to implement perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to orchestrate globally. The convergence factor is plug-and-play. We will engage the capability of web services to brand. What does the term "development" really mean? We realize that if you scale holistically then you may also iterate interactively. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. We think we know that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also visualize nano-strategically. We will add to our capacity to streamline without depreciating our capacity to expedite. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Think ultra-virally-distributed. What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"?