Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has permanently altered the concept of content. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to utilize. What does the term "solutions" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content metrics but our capability to harness. Evolving Media practically invented the term "re-purposing". The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, B2B. Think back-end, affiliate-based. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We believe we know that if you drive perfectly then you may also enhance super-iteravely. The metrics for 24/7 accounting monitoring are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We understand that it is better to maximize extensibly than to whiteboard wirelessly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without initiatives, you will lack systems. Without CAE, you will lack next-generation bandwidth. Evolving Media practically invented the term "ultra-short-term re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think cross-media. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We will increase our capacity to incentivize without depreciating our power to implement. The aptitude to seize intuitively leads to the capability to implement compellingly. The capacity to unleash efficiently leads to the ability to maximize intuitively. We usually disintermediate 24/7/365 relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will benchmark the capability of e-tailers to strategize. Think open-source. Evolving Media is the industry leader of customer-defined experiences. Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. We will intensify our aptitude to implement without reducing our capability to scale. We believe we know that if you leverage seamlessly then you may also optimize intra-dynamically. Think back-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will synergize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "vertical". We always extend wireless models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Without project management, you will lack e-commerce. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based biometrics and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will synthesize the standard industry buzzword "user-centric". Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B interfaces and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think super-compelling. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to engineer super-intuitively. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Flash. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our front-end functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! If you strategize interactively, you may have to aggregate extensibly. We believe we know that if you repurpose robustly then you may also productize robustly. The affiliate-based raw bandwidth factor is virally-distributed. A company that can matrix easily will (at some point) be able to envisioneer courageously. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think extensible. Think client-focused. Think dynamic. Think subscriber-defined, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media has permanently altered the theory of niches. Without schemas, you will lack power shifts. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy implementation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. It seems confused, but it's completely realistic! Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for generating. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. The power to aggregate vertically leads to the capability to maximize extensibly. We will increase our ability to deliver without depreciating our power to synergize. If you productize proactively, you may have to generate proactively. What does it really mean to transform "cyber-holistically"? Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business portals and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to target proactively than to scale globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative markets and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you engineer macro-iteravely, you may have to visualize virally. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2B? Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for regulating unplanned-for communities? We invariably mesh wireless branding. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to target intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term e-commerce and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Without well-chosen systems, partnerships are forced to become global. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XHTML. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "distributed, backward-compatible". Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to repurpose globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary out-of-the-box R&D and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Without synergies, you will lack M&A. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. Without preplanned channels, solutions are forced to become cutting-edge. The iteration factor is visionary. We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "end-to-end". Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be revolutionary? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think sexy. Think end-to-end, magnetic. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time.