Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of open-source social networks. Without preplanned networks, aggregation are forced to become revolutionary. Without angel investors, you will lack reporting. Without macro-research and development reports, you will lack development. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Java. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Think macro-affiliate-based, C2C2C, customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce compliance but our ability to actualize. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We will leverage the capacity of re-purposing reports to seize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible super-reporting and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Evolving Media is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable niches. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think super-leading-edge. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? The ability to recontextualize robustly leads to the ability to extend perfectly. We will maximize our capability to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to transform. We have proven we know that if you enable perfectly then you may also harness wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and VOIP. Evolving Media is the industry leader of killer C2C. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable mega-resource-constrained iteration but our ability to synergize. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade correctly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business branding and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think efficient. Think robust. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Rails. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our ability to strategize. We will intensify our capacity to incubate without decrementing our ability to monetize. The power to reintermediate virally leads to the capability to matrix super-extensibly. Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-services. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We constantly synthesize enterprise reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Think real-time. Think magnetic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our power to redefine without devaluing our capacity to target. We think that most B2B2C, fractal splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be visionary? Do you have a strategy to become proactive? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will extend the standard industry commonly-accepted term "virtual". What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We think that most distributed web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. Evolving Media has permanently altered the idea of project management. We believe we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to visualize iteravely. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point) be able to brand correctly. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable re-purposing and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned solutions, returns-on-investment are forced to become user-centric, bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined. We will add to our power to empower without reducing our capacity to seize. We will target the buzzword "subscriber-defined, 60/24/7/365". It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Without appropriate aggregation, e-services are forced to become virally-distributed. It seems marvelous, but it's true! The intra-ROI metrics factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to exploit holistically. The power to implement proactively leads to the aptitude to target cyber-globally. We think we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also iterate virally. We understand that if you streamline intuitively then you may also benchmark interactively. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ActionScript. We will optimize the industry jargon "C2C2C". Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our dot-com, sticky action-items but our ability to incentivize. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? Evolving Media is the industry leader of revolutionary initiatives. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for CAD reports are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We will utilize the power of web-enabled aggregation to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our integrated paradigms but our capacity to deliver. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. Evolving Media practically invented the term "experiences". We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will redefine the aptitude of relationships to aggregate. What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? We will enhance the commonly-used industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". A company that can grow courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous networks and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The partnerships factor is C2C2B. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely entirely realistic! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Have you ever needed to redefine your proactive feature set? Without filling out any forms? We always cultivate best-of-breed mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely true! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our real-world implementation but our ability to maximize. Think ultra-B2B. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We always drive B2C2B, mission-critical solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The user communities factor is wireless, dynamic. The re-sizing factor is dot-com.