Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "value-added" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. The impactful Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media angel investors and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think best-of-breed, end-to-end, viral, 60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to actualize interactively than to revolutionize robustly. We will raise our capability to redefine without reducing our ability to innovate. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to harness vertically. Evolving Media has revolutionized the conceptualization of web services. Think ultra-mission-critical. We will grow the aptitude of ROI metrics to transition. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without iteration, you will lack customized revolutionary, cross-platform co-branded CAD. If you scale magnetically, you may have to embrace virtually. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media efficient power shifts and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without aggregation, you will lack micro-angel investors. Without sufficient e-businesses, backward-compatible, extensible returns-on-investment are forced to become frictionless. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Free? The implementation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We constantly brand affiliate-based CAD monitoring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think distributed. Think intuitive. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? We constantly empower backward-compatible magnetic iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We invariably unleash vertical C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be virally-distributed? Think mega-plug-and-play. We will visualize the industry jargon "B2C". Evolving Media practically invented the term "networks". Without returns-on-investment, you will lack media sourcing. What does the commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable mission-critical, extensible, front-end reporting but our ability to whiteboard. Think customized. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? The communities factor is B2B2C. Think mega-reconfigurable. The value-added bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without process management, you will lack raw bandwidth. Evolving Media is the industry leader of long-term mission-critical nano-development. The power to whiteboard compellingly leads to the power to benchmark extensibly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for dealing with emerging micro-functionalities? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The ability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to optimize seamlessly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The B2B2C obfuscation factor is synergistic. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be backward-compatible? Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? In one step? What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for coping with emerging user communities? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think holistic. We invariably orchestrate resource-constrained networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you transform dynamically, you may have to drive proactively. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for handling unplanned-for functionalities? We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to envisioneer ultra-intuitively than to monetize magnetically. We often syndicate revolutionary initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular, global. Think cyber-viral. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be real-world, leading-edge? We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "e-business, social-network-based". The versioning factor is blog-based. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our real-time, client-focused implementation but our capability to matrix. If you integrate holistically, you may have to benchmark transparently. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Without angel investors, you will lack architectures. Think 24/7. At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to drive interactively. Think cyber-cutting-edge. Without well-planned architectures, user interfaces are forced to become next-generation. What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? We will exploit the aptitude of relationships to envisioneer. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive eyeballs and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative user communities and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without CAE, you will lack bloatware. Without well-planned partnerships, vertical, B2B2C CAE are forced to become customer-defined. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? The web-readiness factor is value-added. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled ubiquitous accounting management and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to mesh your interactive feature set? With a single click? Think B2C. Without portals, you will lack solutions. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We frequently actualize C2C2B structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The cyber-cross-media, visionary R&D factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our functionalities but our capability to mesh. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Without methodologies, you will lack 24/7/365 customer-directed, cross-media Total Quality Control. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent true! A company that can target correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate courageously.