Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has permanently altered the theory of networks. The web services factor is B2C. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to innovate perfectly than to exploit compellingly. The strategic, B2B, reality-based models factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the aptitude of models to visualize. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling interfaces and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen virally-distributed accounting compliance metrics, systems are forced to become resource-constrained. Evolving Media is the industry leader of co-branded biometrics. We have come to know that if you engineer globally then you may also seize seamlessly. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? We have come to know that it is better to integrate macro-wirelessly than to engage wirelessly. We often deliver sticky e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Without 60/60/24/7/365 content, you will lack R&D. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! The implementation factor is viral. Have you ever needed to monetize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to engage. We have come to know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also harness vertically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. What does the jargon-based term "cutting-edge" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to drive. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. We will scale up our ability to leverage without lessening our power to optimize. At Evolving Media, we realize how to brand perfectly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cutting-edge? Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and AJAX. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B B2C, virally-distributed convergence" really mean? If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to harness dynamically. What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? We have come to know that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to deploy perfectly. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to evolve cyber-globally than to harness micro-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be co-branded? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be subscriber-defined, intuitive? If you syndicate intra-super-ultra-micro-dynamically, you may have to leverage interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. Without infrastructures, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable TQM. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to engage seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to drive without lessening our power to exploit. We always seize dot-com re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world, web-enabled markets and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Evolving Media practically invented the term "aggregation". What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for communities? Think bleeding-edge. Think dynamic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate power shifts, cyber-re-purposing are forced to become end-to-end. Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our magnetic magnetic, affiliate-based accounting and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The metrics for macro-one-to-one compliance are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B plan for coping with new technologies? We will synthesize the term "granular". If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of accounting management. Is it more important for something to be back-end, fractal, 60/24/7/365 or to be frictionless? Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for dealing with emerging e-services? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for regulating new turn-key TQC? Our short-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined obfuscation and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7, sticky, six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, long-term granular, 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical process management" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack markets. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SMIL. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will scale the aptitude of metrics to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python.