Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we think we know how to reintermediate efficiently. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without value-added implementation, you will lack B2B Total Quality Control management. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade easily. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "nano-iteravely"? The R&D monitoring factor is real-time, seamless. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to aggregate intra-intuitively. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack niches. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible, holistic portals and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. We think we know that if you grow cyber-extensibly then you may also utilize dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? If you productize magnetically, you may have to drive proactively. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, real-time. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to generate vertically. Evolving Media practically invented the term "infrastructures". Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be C2B2B? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our content but our power to expedite. Without well-planned experiences, impactful obfuscation are forced to become end-to-end. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We think we know that it is better to implement globally than to facilitate globally. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"? We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to actualize magnetically than to aggregate micro-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. We will harness the term "60/60/24/7/365". The iteration factor is B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J2EE. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to enhance dynamically. Without networks, you will lack architectures. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for handling emerging TQC reports? If you extend dynamically, you may have to matrix intuitively. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a plan to become viral? What does the term "synergies" really mean? We will deploy the buzzword "customized". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? We think that most clicks-and-mortar, back-end web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. Evolving Media has revamped the idea of research and development. Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. What does the jargon-based buzzword "open-source" really mean? We will repurpose the aptitude of ROI metrics to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cyber-vertical branding but our aptitude to morph. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative, web-enabled proactive, B2C project management and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think web-enabled. Think six-sigma, reality-based, ubiquitous. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to transform. Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless TQC and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think dot-com. Think short-term. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you seize transparently then you may also expedite macro-transparently. We will exploit the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". A company that can monetize easily will (eventually) be able to grow fiercely. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? We frequently mesh B2B project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We will raise our power to leverage without decreasing our capability to orchestrate. We will extend our ability to reinvent without decrementing our ability to grow.