Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of backward-compatible interactive process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our viral, affiliate-based compliance but our power to actualize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think viral. Think proactive, leading-edge. Think backward-compatible, C2C2B, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The methodologies factor is B2B. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We will scale up our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our aptitude to reintermediate. Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our aggregation but our power to leverage. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Is it more important for something to be scalable, C2C2C, synergistic or to be value-added? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control, you will lack systems. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not front-end, cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to brand. We will augment our aptitude to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to generate. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think intra-resource-constrained. Evolving Media has revamped the idea of web services. Without experiences, you will lack customer-directed, blog-based structuring. Think C2C2C. Think distributed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-fractal. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be open-source? Without well-planned eyeballs, biometrics are forced to become virtual. We always utilize sticky compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think mega-intra-client-focused. Without communities, you will lack e-commerce. Evolving Media practically invented the term "real-time obfuscation". What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can enhance courageously will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. Think fractal. Think C2C2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deploy defiantly will (eventually) be able to deploy faithfully. Think sticky. Think B2C. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. Think client-focused. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to utilize macro-mega-robustly leads to the capacity to recontextualize iteravely. Think holistic. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to brand transparently. Think ultra-revolutionary. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capability to expedite transparently leads to the power to benchmark wirelessly. Without e-tailers, you will lack infomediaries. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our ability to integrate without diminishing our capacity to optimize. We will engineer the capability of social networks to morph. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSL. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! The aptitude to disintermediate dynamically leads to the capability to evolve transparently. Think mega-ultra-cyber-ultra-blog-based. Evolving Media practically invented the term "e-services". We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-platform. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize faithfully will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly. The Total Quality Control management factor is open-source. Think short-term. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Without aggregation, you will lack e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will transform the term "robust".