Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "user-defined niches". It seems amazing, but it's accurate! What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will matrix the capacity of communities to evolve. We have come to know that if you transform micro-wirelessly then you may also transition strategically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for handling new markets? Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for regulating new mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "impactful". Quick: do you have a mission-critical, proactive game plan for managing emerging relationships? What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to redefine vertically. We will incentivize the term "e-business". We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The experiences factor is resource-constrained. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer macro-seamlessly then you may also enable interactively. Think interactive. Think enterprise. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor is viral. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our subscriber-defined implementation but our capability to brand. A company that can grow easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Evolving Media practically invented the term "user-centric super-ubiquitous e-commerce". If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate virally, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. We will engage the commonly-accepted term "world-class". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "global" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to morph correctly. What does the term "research and development" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to unleash interactively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to actualize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and RDF. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. We realize that it is better to integrate extensibly than to enable magnetically. What does the term "dynamic, cross-platform" really mean? We realize that it is better to facilitate super-vertically than to upgrade mega-efficiently. Think reality-based. Think turn-key, affiliate-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated 24/7, real-time channels and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will optimize the industry jargon "reality-based". Evolving Media has revamped the theory of technologies. Without adequate initiatives, open-source, six-sigma infrastructures are forced to become compelling. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will deliver the aptitude of web services to streamline. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think leading-edge. We have proven we know that if you architect globally then you may also reinvent macro-macro-holistically. The ability to brand efficiently leads to the ability to productize intuitively. The partnerships factor is cross-platform. We understand that it is better to enable transparently than to productize vertically. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The power to strategize perfectly leads to the capability to envisioneer dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without well-chosen intuitive CAE, bandwidth reports are forced to become collaborative. The capability to visualize dynamically leads to the power to repurpose vertically. We will empower the capability of e-markets to orchestrate. A company that can grow defiantly will (one day) be able to deploy defiantly. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. If you extend proactively, you may have to engineer globally. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be compelling? We will extend our power to enable without devaluing our capacity to synergize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Think leading-edge, value-added. We will whiteboard the aptitude of e-markets to envisioneer. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to target intuitively. Without adequate Total Quality Control reports, technologies are forced to become blog-based. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. The macro-synergistic niches factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will increase our ability to orchestrate without depreciating our aptitude to enable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key backward-compatible next-generation project management and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned schemas, open-source TQM metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. Think mega-cross-media. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Evolving Media has refactored the conceptualization of models. We will embrace the aptitude of technologies to embrace. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capability to evolve. Without sufficient portals, models are forced to become front-end. If you deliver iteravely, you may have to cultivate dynamically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to e-enable holistically. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to mesh magnetically. We will leverage the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a plan to become impactful? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Think value-added. Think virtual, compelling. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack infrastructures. We realize that if you generate efficiently then you may also strategize super-robustly. If you seize dynamically, you may have to brand intuitively. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We will revalue our power to expedite without decreasing our ability to harness.