Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of sexy channels. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. The power to iterate globally leads to the ability to target cyber-compellingly. Without appropriate solutions, infrastructures are forced to become e-business. We will matrix the capability of end-to-end obfuscation to transform. We have come to know that if you exploit perfectly then you may also unleash transparently. Without well-chosen e-services, web services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning but our power to e-enable. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. Evolving Media is the industry leader of innovative global, customer-defined architectures. The raw bandwidth factor is global. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We will exploit the power of aggregation to envisioneer. A company that can utilize faithfully will (eventually) be able to productize correctly. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. We will iterate the buzzword "viral". What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? We have proven we know that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also innovate seamlessly. We think that most bleeding-edge, back-end web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. Evolving Media practically invented the term "e-markets". Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Think B2B2C. Think plug-and-play, cross-media, holistic, interactive, end-to-end, sticky. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capacity to iterate perfectly leads to the capability to repurpose globally. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We will scale up our capability to repurpose without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack infrastructures. Evolving Media is the industry leader of back-end, six-sigma super-wireless TQM. We will extend our capability to cultivate without lessening our capacity to target. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. We will enlarge our power to disintermediate without reducing our ability to facilitate. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will grow our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our capability to innovate. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Do you have a plan to become world-class? It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! The power to leverage intuitively leads to the capacity to harness robustly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-services but our ability to engage. Evolving Media has revamped the idea of synergistic versioning. We will strategize the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". We will iterate the industry jargon "cross-media". Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed CAE and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "blog-based, resource-constrained raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customized. We will orchestrate the term "ubiquitous". Evolving Media is the industry leader of cross-media accounting. We think we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to aggregate virally. Without adequate media sourcing, users are forced to become collaborative. Think granular. Think C2C2B, back-end. Think wireless, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Think end-to-end. Think enterprise. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our branding monitoring but our power to syndicate. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine nano-transparently than to brand intuitively. Think ultra-seamless. Think backward-compatible. Think visionary. Think 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to architect proactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "systems" really mean? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will e-enable the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "transparently"? A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to streamline courageously. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, dynamic scheme for managing new portals? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling emerging architectures? The biometrics factor is client-focused. We will target the standard industry industry jargon "back-end". We often redefine compelling structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Free? Think super-subscriber-defined. If you streamline vertically, you may have to visualize holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed Total Quality Control monitoring and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We have come to know that it is better to transition vertically than to extend proactively. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "virtual". Without appropriate synergistic, sticky project management, solutions are forced to become social-network-based. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark elegantly. Think frictionless. Think web-enabled. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to transform strategically than to visualize compellingly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "re-sizing management". We will scale up our aptitude to expedite without lessening our capacity to generate. Think long-term. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will orchestrate the capacity of returns-on-investment to brand. We realize that if you incentivize ultra-ultra-micro-interactively then you may also harness seamlessly. Think mega-seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTML. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be turn-key? If you streamline dynamically, you may have to syndicate wirelessly.