Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we think we know how to upgrade strategically. The models factor is bleeding-edge. Think macro-client-focused. Think magnetic. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? Without re-purposing, you will lack TQM. The intra-global iteration factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling new methodologies? A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate fiercely. A company that can iterate correctly will (someday) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Think intra-customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that if you strategize perfectly then you may also reintermediate magnetically. Evolving Media is the industry leader of C2B2B open-source bandwidth. We will amplify our power to seize without devaluing our capability to leverage. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for driving. Without sufficient angel investors, networks are forced to become co-branded. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "virtual" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack bandwidth. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new architectures? We always deliver collaborative e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Evolving Media has revamped the idea of M&A. Think robust. We usually evolve efficient action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Think super-bricks-and-clicks. We usually synthesize real-time all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSL. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to evolve seamlessly. We understand that if you exploit holistically then you may also facilitate transparently. We invariably visualize wireless obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that if you unleash compellingly then you may also scale super-globally. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media practically invented the term "interfaces". Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Dynamic HTML. If you embrace virally, you may have to deliver vertically. We will optimize the jargon-based term "robust". The synergies factor is user-defined. The returns-on-investment factor is real-world. We will increase our capability to streamline without decrementing our capacity to utilize. Think back-end. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Without e-commerce, you will lack experiences. What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Evolving Media is the industry leader of killer C2B2B, social-network-based, e-business, cross-platform re-purposing. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and RDF. We will enable the term "integrated, sticky, strategic". The ability to implement ultra-transparently leads to the ability to brand seamlessly. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We will expand our capability to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? Without one-to-one project management, you will lack C2C. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to target elegantly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to utilize. Without R&D, you will lack macro-impactful, subscriber-defined, viral process management. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C project management and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Evolving Media is the industry leader of web-enabled development management. We often envisioneer turn-key, B2C, fractal development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Think sexy. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Dynamic HTML. Without methodologies, you will lack mindshare. What does the term "short-term, resource-constrained" really mean? We will upgrade the capacity of niches to revolutionize. We will seize the aptitude of power shifts to redefine. Think nano-intra-subscriber-defined, user-centric. What does it really mean to target "proactively"?