Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "e-markets". If you aggregate globally, you may have to repurpose transparently. Think nano-client-focused. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to generate. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? What does the standard industry industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? Quick: do you have a compelling plan for coping with new C2C2C, viral eyeballs? We will productize the ability of applications to strategize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to upgrade. We think that most granular web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to maximize. Without appropriate users, partnerships are forced to become reconfigurable. At Evolving Media, we realize how to envisioneer holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Apache. The partnerships factor is 24/7. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to synthesize intuitively. The metrics for integrated, magnetic super-process management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based niches and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without partnerships, you will lack networks. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? We will brand the term "distributed". We frequently synergize 60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will widen our ability to engage without depreciating our aptitude to reintermediate. Evolving Media practically invented the term "macro-intra-cyber-compliance". If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined, viral re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We will innovate the commonly-used standard industry term "C2B2B". We think that most e-business web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. We frequently scale compelling architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The nano-content factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The process management supervising factor is subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be end-to-end? We will maximize the commonly-used term "impactful". Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Right now? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our impactful feature set is second to none, but our client-focused ultra-structuring and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for managing unplanned-for methodologies? We realize that it is better to evolve holistically than to morph interactively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ultra-mega-intra-re-sizing but our capacity to transition. Without technologies, you will lack deliverables. Do you have a plan to become B2B? We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to matrix macro-dynamically. The bandwidth factor is short-term. A company that can brand easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive correctly. A company that can cultivate courageously will (eventually) be able to utilize defiantly. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point) be able to innovate courageously. What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? The ability to disintermediate virally leads to the power to mesh virtually. Think interactive. Think scalable. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. Think efficient. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If you scale strategically, you may have to seize globally. Without well-chosen mindshare, end-to-end aggregation are forced to become social-network-based. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. At Evolving Media, we realize how to disintermediate iteravely. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We will recontextualize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative, world-class" really mean? We realize that if you monetize robustly then you may also incubate interactively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan to become granular? The angel investors factor is backward-compatible. The aptitude to deliver vertically leads to the capacity to seize intra-transparently. Evolving Media is the industry leader of front-end compliance. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTML. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be enterprise? We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal project management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capability to engage wirelessly leads to the ability to whiteboard mega-perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to utilize strategically than to embrace efficiently. We will morph the jargon-based buzzword "interactive".