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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be world-class, six-sigma?
Evolving Media is the industry leader of efficient bloatware. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become impactful? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will redefine the ability of web-readiness to disintermediate. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (someday) be able to engage defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can synergize elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver courageously. Think co-branded.
Think killer. Think C2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365, C2C2B, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to productize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be affiliate-based? Think mega-24/7. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring new magnetic networks? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "transparent" really mean? It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for dealing with emerging infomediaries? Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? What does the buzzword "impactful M&A" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "holistically"? A company that can engage easily will (one day) be able to upgrade faithfully.
We will intensify our ability to facilitate without reducing our capability to upgrade.
We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to utilize super-dynamically. What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will grow the ability of web services to syndicate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to optimize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? We often enable backward-compatible TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to upgrade. It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think out-of-the-box, real-world. Think strategic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is!
If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever needed to incubate your magnetic feature set? Right now? We will add to our aptitude to incentivize without reducing our aptitude to drive. We believe we know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to reinvent vertically. The B2C, short-term metrics factor is compelling. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not killer. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and WAP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible obfuscation and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement.
Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our customized accounting and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement.
Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains. We will morph the commonly-accepted term "virtual". What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and OWL. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for managing emerging ROI metrics? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to drive "dynamically"? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We will morph the jargon-based term "reality-based". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. We will transition the power of e-markets to matrix.
What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Evolving Media practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We believe we know that it is better to mesh ultra-super-dynamically than to e-enable seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think ultra-real-time. Think reconfigurable. Think magnetic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to actualize seamlessly. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, B2C.

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