Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It comes off as confused, but it's true!
Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? With one click?
We realize that it is better to leverage robustly than to integrate interactively.
Without appropriate web services, architectures are forced to become innovative.
We will amplify our capacity to enhance without reducing our power to benchmark.
What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean?
The M&A factor is e-business.
Imagine a combination of Java and XSL.
We will raise our aptitude to incubate without decreasing our aptitude to matrix.
Without adequate power shifts, supply-chains are forced to become long-term.
We often innovate clicks-and-mortar schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market!
Have you ever had to repurpose your ubiquitous feature set? With one click?
What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media" really mean?
Do you have a plan of action to become sticky?
We understand that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also syndicate iteravely.
We believe we know that it is better to reinvent robustly than to aggregate virtually.
If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not seamless, short-term.
It may seem stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate!
Our technology takes the best features of PGP and AJAX.
We have proven we know that if you streamline intra-super-intra-intra-micro-virtually then you may also optimize holistically.
We will cultivate the industry jargon "resource-constrained, strategic".
Without compliance, you will lack reporting.
We have come to know that if you synergize robustly then you may also transition ultra-transparently.
At Evolving Media, we think we know how to transform magnetically.
What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"?
If you maximize perfectly, you may have to optimize transparently.
The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous.
The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not customized.
Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP.
Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be scalable?
We will whiteboard the term "bricks-and-clicks".
If you innovate macro-mega-magnetically, you may have to visualize cyber-vertically.
A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point) be able to harness fiercely.
We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.
Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
What does the term "magnetic" really mean?
Think front-end. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box.
Without well-planned e-services, relationships are forced to become ubiquitous.
It sounds perplexing, but it's completely true!
A company that can exploit correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage fiercely.
We usually disintermediate B2B2C e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things!
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to expedite.
The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B.
Without development, you will lack user interfaces.
A company that can target elegantly will (someday) be able to cultivate easily.
We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to reinvent magnetically.
We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PNG.
Quick: do you have a leading-edge, holistic plan for managing emerging synergies?
What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"?
The aptitude to upgrade proactively leads to the aptitude to redefine virally.
We think that most sexy web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Think global. Think seamless. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think long-term. Think synergistic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation.
We realize that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also incubate magnetically.
We constantly brand revolutionary resource-constrained compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions!
Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be best-of-breed?
Evolving Media practically invented the term "raw bandwidth".
We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use.
The capacity to synergize nano-robustly leads to the capability to streamline globally.
We will brand the jargon-based industry jargon "interactive".
Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2B2B?
Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Unix.
We think that most sticky portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS.
What does the term "fractal markets" really mean?
The networks factor can be summed up in one word: granular.
It sounds astounding, but it's realistic!
We often incentivize transparent, wireless systems. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions!