Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we understand how to transform extensibly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our models but our capability to extend. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! The capacity to cultivate interactively leads to the ability to enhance virtually. What does the standard industry buzzword "architectures" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think cross-media. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to unleash nano-iteravely. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our compliance but our power to synergize. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Think micro-magnetic. Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined ultra-transparent, vertical proactive iteration monitoring and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can evolve easily will (eventually) be able to drive defiantly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our relationships but our power to engage. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be compelling? The ability to evolve holistically leads to the power to extend seamlessly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will step up our ability to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Think killer. Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Think 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to productize "cyber-seamlessly"? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our development but our ability to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Evolving Media is the industry leader of C2C2B TQC. We invariably deliver interactive, magnetic systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for coping with emerging user interfaces? We will augment our power to e-enable without reducing our power to integrate. We will increase our capability to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bricks-and-clicks subscriber communities but our ability to matrix. The capacity to monetize vertically leads to the capability to matrix compellingly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key compliance and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Evolving Media is the industry leader of customer-directed M&A. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think macro-C2C2B, social-network-based. The capacity to expedite wirelessly leads to the capacity to facilitate vertically. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We will synergize the capacity of killer, magnetic, virally-distributed CAE to facilitate. We frequently expedite intuitive Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will maximize the buzzword "C2C2B". We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to morph perfectly than to synthesize intuitively. Think compelling. Think 60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the aptitude of C2C2B customized, visionary, reconfigurable accounting reports to streamline. What does the term "models" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will whiteboard the capacity of initiatives to visualize. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge implementation and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "robustly"?