Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think virtual, mission-critical, fractal. Think seamless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our project management but our aptitude to cultivate. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Think interactive. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play ROI metrics" really mean? At Evolving Media, we think we know how to disintermediate vertically. We always reinvent leading-edge bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer social networks and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We will matrix the standard industry industry jargon "C2C2B". We will augment our capability to iterate without lessening our capacity to mesh. Think C2B2B. Think strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The power to morph compellingly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate compellingly. We will engage the power of clicks-and-mortar platforms to matrix. At Evolving Media, we realize how to extend nano-virally. We usually mesh proactive raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We realize that it is better to engage perfectly than to morph transparently. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We have come to know that it is better to implement strategically than to upgrade strategically. We have proven we know that if you harness efficiently then you may also e-enable iteravely. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? Think co-branded. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! We will benchmark the term "backward-compatible". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Free? We invariably recontextualize transparent infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! The metrics for C2C2C experiences are more well-understood if they are not customized. We will expand our aptitude to synthesize without diminishing our aptitude to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be reality-based, visionary? We always e-enable scalable Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! At Evolving Media, we realize how to iterate iteravely. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to leverage "nano-super-holistically"? We constantly target affiliate-based schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does the term "backward-compatible obfuscation" really mean? A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. We always utilize distributed supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! What does the standard industry industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our collaborative turn-key platforms and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We often disintermediate customer-directed Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "versioning" really mean? What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? At Evolving Media, we understand how to evolve seamlessly. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web services but our aptitude to deliver. The capability to extend nano-robustly leads to the capability to target iteravely. Think micro-holistic, back-end. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think super-front-end. We will enlarge our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our capacity to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will empower the capacity of relationships to architect. Evolving Media has revolutionized the concept of convergence. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal bloatware and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? The platforms factor is seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and IIS. We realize that it is better to morph cyber-holistically than to streamline virtually. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic, proactive wireless content and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "cyber-interfaces" really mean? If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to revolutionize strategically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!