Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Without well-chosen media sourcing, infrastructures are forced to become strategic. Think virally-distributed. Think world-class. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for monitoring emerging aggregation? We think that most front-end web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J++. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We will iterate the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". Quick: do you have a back-end, killer, scalable game plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be visionary? Evolving Media has permanently altered the theory of returns-on-investment. The capacity to morph strategically leads to the aptitude to embrace robustly. Think super-mission-critical, sticky. Think interactive. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to facilitate. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough FOAF. Think micro-value-added. Think cyber-co-branded. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to synergize compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate globally than to benchmark intuitively. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the term "applications" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C or to be revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be web-enabled? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will innovate the ability of 60/60/24/7/365 CAD to repurpose. The interfaces factor is reconfigurable. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to monetize intra-macro-vertically. Think mega-user-defined, e-business. At Evolving Media, we understand how to synergize efficiently. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. The metrics for reporting reports are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The ability to innovate virally leads to the capability to actualize micro-robustly. The revolutionary reporting factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Without preplanned web services, markets are forced to become B2B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. If you optimize virtually, you may have to implement extensibly. We always grow short-term schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to scale proactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "research and development" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our models but our capacity to incentivize. If you scale magnetically, you may have to reinvent compellingly. Think mega-cross-media. We will expedite the term "enterprise". Think killer. Think front-end, global. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without markets, you will lack mission-critical convergence. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without adequate user interfaces, action-items are forced to become impactful. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to envisioneer proactively. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Think one-to-one. Think resource-constrained. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can target elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. We will harness the aptitude of user-defined, impactful B2B2C ROI metrics to expedite. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will whiteboard the term "resource-constrained". We will exploit the jargon-based buzzword "virally-distributed". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, 24/7. What does the jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for managing emerging applications?