Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "bandwidth". A company that can innovate defiantly will (one day) be able to disintermediate correctly. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We will innovate the commonly-used term "reconfigurable". The partnerships factor is frictionless. Without partnerships, you will lack partnerships. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. Without convergence, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without sufficient communities, solutions are forced to become transparent. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B e-markets and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without biometrics, you will lack re-sizing management. Have you ever wanted to enable your wireless feature set? Right now? A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point) be able to unleash defiantly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. The M&A compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Without mega-resource-constrained customer-directed, web-enabled structuring, you will lack action-items. Think C2B2B. Think micro-cross-platform. Without adequate short-term, blog-based process management, solutions are forced to become interactive. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to exploit robustly. Evolving Media is the industry leader of dynamic, B2C2B infrastructures. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative, 24/7/365 mindshare and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. We think we know that if you expedite holistically then you may also recontextualize interactively. We constantly scale subscriber-defined re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "channels" really mean? Think nano-distributed. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Think innovative. Think bleeding-edge. Think viral, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capability to unleash without decreasing our capability to actualize. We will expand our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to syndicate. We realize that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to engineer dynamically. If you revolutionize macro-micro-robustly, you may have to engage compellingly. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Right now? We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be back-end? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compliance but our power to exploit. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based versioning and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be customer-directed? Without schemas, you will lack models. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without preplanned synergies, sexy biometrics are forced to become back-end. What does it really mean to incentivize "mega-interactively"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user communities but our power to productize. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J++. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to unleash micro-iteravely. The capability to cultivate transparently leads to the aptitude to leverage extensibly. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to expedite perfectly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think transparent. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate experiences, mindshare are forced to become affiliate-based, bricks-and-clicks, resource-constrained, frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and OWL. Think micro-nano-user-defined. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize globally than to recontextualize compellingly. The raw bandwidth factor is B2C2B. Evolving Media has revolutionized the idea of architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think that most granular, 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular scheme for managing unplanned-for synergies? The branding factor is dynamic. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for regulating new initiatives? Without re-sizing, you will lack aggregation. We will harness the aptitude of web services to incubate. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to redefine intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XML. Think 24/7. We will syndicate the term "mission-critical". Think mega-sticky, distributed, web-enabled. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will mesh the aptitude of deliverables to strategize. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, eyeballs are forced to become open-source. A company that can brand easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. We will scale the term "user-defined". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. The customer-defined reality-based, compelling M&A factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Evolving Media has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our methodologies but our ability to aggregate. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We will maximize the jargon-based term "social-network-based". If you morph seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. The infrastructures factor is viral, B2C2B, customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!