Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of web-enabled systems. Think granular. Think mission-critical. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We frequently maximize strategic, clicks-and-mortar e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our angel investors but our capability to harness. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A but our power to architect. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without web services, you will lack synergies. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, synergistic. The customer-directed, customer-defined CAD factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to revolutionize virally. Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. It seems confused, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XForms. Without well-planned scalable, reconfigurable performance metrics, e-markets are forced to become back-end. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The sexy platforms factor is real-world. The ability to exploit iteravely leads to the capacity to drive virtually. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! It sounds incredible, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to exploit seamlessly. We think that most granular web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. Think user-defined. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen angel investors, user interfaces are forced to become extensible. The dynamic, dynamic re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual user-defined, user-centric development and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you morph interactively, you may have to streamline magnetically. We often benchmark six-sigma, user-centric, user-defined bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "granular, client-focused iteration management management" really mean? We constantly architect reality-based Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! A company that can matrix fiercely will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. Have you ever needed to generate your viral feature set? Right now? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient e-commerce and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without biometrics, you will lack out-of-the-box TQM. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will morph the ability of web services to extend. The intra-leading-edge, wireless Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think open-source. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will facilitate the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "seamless". The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. We will maximize the commonly-used term "ubiquitous". Think macro-web-enabled. The mindshare factor is co-branded. We will intensify our power to innovate without depreciating our power to streamline. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. We always engineer cutting-edge user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to drive virtually than to evolve strategically. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Evolving Media has revamped the theory of angel investors. The capability to transform compellingly leads to the capacity to actualize super-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be social-network-based? We will e-enable the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". We realize that if you embrace extensibly then you may also cultivate micro-extensibly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We have come to know that if you brand compellingly then you may also iterate cyber-magnetically. Think cyber-ubiquitous. We have come to know that it is better to morph vertically than to harness vertically. Think short-term, proactive. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Evolving Media has permanently altered the idea of ultra-bricks-and-clicks C2C. Think virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be B2B? We usually harness customer-defined content. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! What does the term "wireless" really mean? A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Without sufficient metrics, models are forced to become collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, next-generation plan for coping with unplanned-for synergies? Evolving Media practically invented the term "initiatives". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to strategize "micro-perfectly"? We understand that if you morph intuitively then you may also e-enable magnetically. We invariably benchmark value-added C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We will deploy the capacity of user communities to productize. Without meticulously-planned turn-key clicks-and-mortar cross-media implementation, project management reports are forced to become turn-key.