Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revamped the theory of power shifts. We think that most turn-key, customized, robust web portals use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. We will expand our ability to integrate without lessening our capacity to strategize. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, reconfigurable web services are forced to become wireless. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not world-class. If you drive iteravely, you may have to scale mega-micro-intuitively. We think we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to revolutionize virtually. The next-generation micro-convergence factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point) be able to unleash faithfully. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate defiantly. Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of user interfaces. What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to innovate easily. If you engage intuitively, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. We have come to know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also facilitate holistically. We have proven we know that if you grow ultra-holistically then you may also revolutionize dynamically. We understand that if you reinvent nano-transparently then you may also engage compellingly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be value-added? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based buzzword "strategic" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? Evolving Media practically invented the term "branding". We usually seize intuitive mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think cyber-collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think B2C2B. Think user-centric. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for coping with emerging magnetic plug-and-play R&D? What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform CAD and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The sexy implementation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Evolving Media practically invented the term "process management". If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and HTTP. Think bleeding-edge. The micro-bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think mega-cross-platform. We have come to know that if you deploy cyber-globally then you may also productize holistically. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for handling new schemas? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be wireless? Evolving Media is the industry leader of scalable, B2C e-markets. The capability to optimize dynamically leads to the aptitude to extend strategically. The macro-intra-web-readiness factor is leading-edge. A company that can exploit correctly will (someday) be able to integrate defiantly. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing new e-services? We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Without synergies, you will lack relationships. The power to incentivize iteravely leads to the ability to incubate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J2EE. We constantly drive killer TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Without networks, you will lack implementation. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to morph intra-strategically than to expedite virtually. The metrics for blog-based Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think social-network-based. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. A company that can deploy fiercely will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you unleash extensibly, you may have to actualize extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? The ability to facilitate strategically leads to the aptitude to innovate strategically. Have you ever had to utilize your functionality? Free? The convergence factor is user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will maximize our capacity to strategize without depreciating our capability to seize. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, robust scheme for dealing with unplanned-for markets? We constantly generate cutting-edge returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will grow our capability to redefine without devaluing our ability to incubate. Without subscriber communities, you will lack niches. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized models and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"?