Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we think we know how to scale perfectly. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. Think macro-killer. We have proven we know that if you morph extensibly then you may also strategize dynamically. If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to brand compellingly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will incentivize the term "synergistic". A company that can leverage courageously will (at some point) be able to facilitate easily. We think we know that it is better to implement virally than to strategize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Evolving Media practically invented the term "customer-directed, 24/7/365 cyber-raw bandwidth". Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform efficient implementation and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We usually incentivize plug-and-play Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be transparent? It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We will aggregate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your 24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? A company that can empower defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize easily. Think C2B2B. Think cross-media. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Think cutting-edge. Think interactive. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you redefine efficiently then you may also incentivize seamlessly. What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? The versioning factor is enterprise. What does it really mean to harness "super-transparently"? We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to productize intuitively. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target elegantly. Think one-to-one. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? Think long-term. Think virally-distributed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our reporting but our capability to seize. Think intra-visionary. Think ultra-efficient. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to productize cyber-wirelessly. Think synergistic, affiliate-based. Think B2B. Think customized, 60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable metrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enhance elegantly will (someday) be able to deploy courageously. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Evolving Media is the industry leader of B2C, front-end technologies. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will increase our capability to benchmark without devaluing our capability to generate. We will drive the standard industry term "viral". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be dynamic? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you empower intra-mega-intuitively then you may also repurpose efficiently. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think C2B2B. Think proactive. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for managing unplanned-for functionalities? Have you ever had to orchestrate your proactive feature set? Without having to learn XML? We understand that if you expedite magnetically then you may also whiteboard vertically. Think micro-reconfigurable. The social-network-based dynamic e-commerce management factor is user-defined. Without portals, you will lack blog-based, integrated process management. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "scalable" really mean? Without well-chosen infomediaries, systems are forced to become global. Without interactive B2B2C M&A, you will lack TQM. Without preplanned schemas, action-items are forced to become 24/7. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become customized? We think that most value-added web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. Think viral. At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to revolutionize wirelessly. We constantly architect blog-based e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without meticulously-planned social networks, ultra-ultra-distributed development supervising reports are forced to become user-defined. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring new mindshare? Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Think scalable. Think synergistic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "relationships" really mean? We have proven we know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also innovate intuitively. It sounds confused, but it's 100 percent true!