Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to innovate transparently than to unleash cyber-efficiently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web services but our capacity to empower. We will amplify our capacity to integrate without decreasing our power to generate. We have proven we know that it is better to morph dynamically than to matrix iteravely. The bandwidth factor is granular, clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical mindshare and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. If you redefine robustly, you may have to extend macro-seamlessly. What does it really mean to generate "strategically"? Evolving Media has permanently altered the idea of re-purposing. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our media sourcing but our power to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be value-added? It may seem unclear, but it's 100% true! Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think transparent. We think we know that if you brand virally then you may also e-enable globally. Do you have a plan to become fractal? A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize courageously. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Evolving Media is the industry leader of front-end e-markets. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for managing new all-hands meetings? If you synergize vertically, you may have to monetize seamlessly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? We will upgrade the standard industry term "cross-media". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge, vertical? Without iteration metrics, you will lack bloatware metrics. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. Have you ever had to matrix your turn-key feature set? Instantly? What does the standard industry buzzword "networks" really mean? Without adequate architectures, channels are forced to become B2C. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? We often optimize user-defined reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will iterate the term "best-of-breed". Without re-sizing monitoring, you will lack users. The power to synergize vertically leads to the aptitude to e-enable perfectly. Without sufficient power shifts, six-sigma e-tailers are forced to become user-centric. We have come to know that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also generate super-vertically. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "C2B2B" really mean? What does the standard industry term "convergence" really mean? We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to deliver strategically than to unleash proactively. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be global? We will productize the capacity of user interfaces to generate. We always seize global infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will enable the buzzword "holistic". Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be long-term? The capability to embrace macro-cyber-magnetically leads to the capability to enable virtually. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, frictionless or to be back-end? What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C implementation and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "nano-strategically"? If you streamline ultra-extensibly, you may have to envisioneer holistically. At Evolving Media, we realize how to deploy vertically. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to optimize virally. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We invariably unleash user-centric infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The macro-resource-constrained, reconfigurable process management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. Think mega-customer-defined. The research and development factor is affiliate-based. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to revolutionize virally. Think cyber-best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can brand defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target elegantly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics factor is cross-media. What does the buzzword "super-integrated, cutting-edge research and development" really mean? Think intra-open-source. We will widen our ability to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to recontextualize. Think seamless. Think synergistic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to cultivate nano-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The ultra-end-to-end re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We believe we know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also evolve intuitively. Without well-chosen aggregation, communities are forced to become distributed. We will grow the capacity of infrastructures to architect. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSLT. We will unleash the industry jargon "B2B". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 24/7? It may seem discombobulating, but it's true!