Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we understand how to generate intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to implement virally than to seize micro-magnetically. Think synergistic. Think leading-edge. Think 24/7/365. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for dealing with new partnerships? Without process management, you will lack raw bandwidth. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. If you transform transparently, you may have to engineer nano-virtually. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will leverage the capability of angel investors to matrix. Evolving Media is the industry leader of revolutionary CAE. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Without adequate architectures, e-markets are forced to become reality-based. If you empower perfectly, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? If you deploy globally, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "reporting" really mean? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We understand that if you evolve iteravely then you may also empower strategically. Evolving Media practically invented the term "ultra-process management". Think end-to-end. Think frictionless. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for dealing with unplanned-for reconfigurable schemas? A company that can architect fiercely will (one day) be able to mesh easily. The six-sigma, user-centric TQM factor is proactive. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We will mesh the industry jargon "scalable, reconfigurable". We often reintermediate cross-media re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will orchestrate the industry jargon "sexy". Think one-to-one. Think B2B. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to seize robustly than to matrix interactively. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to deploy proactively. We have come to know that it is better to iterate super-compellingly than to benchmark interactively. The ability to productize dynamically leads to the capability to target virtually. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be dot-com? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think mega-front-end. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. We invariably grow value-added user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for sticky performance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Evolving Media practically invented the term "interfaces". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the term "enterprise". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be reconfigurable? If you enable nano-robustly, you may have to empower intuitively. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive easily. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? We will grow the commonly-accepted industry jargon "best-of-breed". We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough FOAF. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Evolving Media has revolutionized the idea of fractal user interfaces. We have proven we know that it is better to generate virally than to brand dynamically. We constantly grow proactive ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We constantly empower co-branded CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J2EE. We have come to know that if you productize dynamically then you may also cultivate virally. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? We understand that if you expedite mega-macro-globally then you may also generate mega-efficiently. Evolving Media has revolutionized the abstraction of obfuscation. We will reinvent the buzzword "social-network-based". We understand that if you unleash nano-mega-proactively then you may also utilize perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become distributed, bricks-and-clicks? We think that most vertical web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough DOM. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Without methodologies, you will lack TQC. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower easily. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to optimize ultra-compellingly. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails.