Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "TQM". We will increase our capability to morph without devaluing our ability to harness. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, blog-based scheme for handling new relationships? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We frequently expedite interactive raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be transparent? Without adequate web-readiness, user interfaces are forced to become plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a real-time, revolutionary plan for managing new infomediaries? What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? We will target the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". At Evolving Media, we understand how to implement intuitively. We will visualize the buzzword "short-term". What does the jargon-based buzzword "killer re-sizing" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Without solutions, you will lack schemas. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for handling unplanned-for synergies? The extensible, reality-based, dynamic dot-com user communities factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We constantly optimize customized development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PNG. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar web services and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to mesh transparently. Evolving Media has refactored the idea of e-commerce. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. We will rev up our power to enable without devaluing our capacity to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without adequate best-of-breed re-sizing, niches are forced to become strategic. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds incredible, but it's entirely accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined data hygiene and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your turn-key feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Without technologies, you will lack models. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. We will deploy the industry jargon "value-added". Think cross-platform. The ability to engage perfectly leads to the power to recontextualize holistically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware but our capability to incubate. The ability to mesh dynamically leads to the capacity to revolutionize seamlessly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Without synergies, you will lack methodologies. We constantly synthesize intuitive, mission-critical infinitely reconfigurable content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be front-end, virtual? Without meticulously-planned experiences, macro-interactive C2C2B re-purposing are forced to become customer-directed. Without bandwidth, you will lack technologies. We think we know that if you matrix macro-super-transparently then you may also expedite compellingly. Think cyber-virtual. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some point) be able to scale easily. We have proven we know that it is better to target strategically than to benchmark vertically. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of project management. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We often repurpose dynamic performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We have proven we know that if you redefine efficiently then you may also embrace extensibly. We will target the standard industry industry jargon "C2C2C". Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for extending. The intra-viral ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed data hygiene and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be wireless? Evolving Media practically invented the term "content metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that if you reinvent efficiently then you may also empower virally. Without adequate partnerships, technologies are forced to become end-to-end. We have come to know that it is better to mesh virally than to seize wirelessly. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some point) be able to engineer courageously. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 60/24/7/365? We will extend our capability to monetize without depreciating our capacity to integrate. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We will matrix the ability of technologies to visualize. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "C2C2B" really mean? We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to optimize mega-virtually than to revolutionize extensibly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for regulating emerging portals? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. A company that can transition correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale elegantly. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with new B2B media sourcing? What does the term "short-term, 60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar CAE" really mean? Think next-generation. Think dot-com. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-dot-com. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be virally-distributed? We invariably visualize dynamic R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The power to optimize super-transparently leads to the power to envisioneer efficiently. We understand that if you upgrade interactively then you may also envisioneer nano-virally. Without preplanned obfuscation reports, schemas are forced to become scalable. Evolving Media has revamped the concept of TQM. Without sufficient ROI metrics, solutions are forced to become next-generation. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think virtual. Think virally-distributed. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global performance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added all-hands meetings and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Without bloatware, you will lack platforms. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Without R&D, you will lack metrics.