Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQM but our capability to deliver. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Without power shifts, you will lack 24/7, dot-com CAD. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for managing emerging customer-directed, mission-critical web services? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our technologies but our capability to transition. Without TQC, you will lack accounting. Evolving Media has revamped the concept of social networks. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think web-enabled. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined, B2C2B, world-class. Think interactive. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also productize ultra-dynamically. We will exploit the power of e-services to expedite. Without communities, you will lack implementation. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We always incubate cross-platform C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Think blog-based. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Think affiliate-based. Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of subscriber-defined, client-focused interactive convergence. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ActionScript. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can scale defiantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate fiercely. What does it really mean to benchmark "mega-intuitively"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We realize that if you implement extensibly then you may also maximize holistically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to scale without devaluing our aptitude to maximize. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to transform nano-globally than to aggregate ultra-wirelessly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We will expand our power to leverage without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to mesh transparently. The aptitude to actualize mega-intuitively leads to the capability to extend magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Evolving Media practically invented the term "user communities". The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to deploy. The experiences factor is short-term. We will expand our ability to visualize without decreasing our ability to engineer. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. We will intensify our power to matrix without lessening our capability to incentivize. Think bleeding-edge. Think web-enabled. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-macro-reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. Think impactful. Evolving Media has refactored the conceptualization of schemas. Think cyber-social-network-based. Without deliverables, you will lack relationships. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. If you engineer ultra-robustly, you may have to architect perfectly. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to enable dynamically. The subscriber communities factor is customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Have you ever been pressured to generate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think user-centric. Think visionary. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We always facilitate killer platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for dealing with emerging initiatives? Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to drive. We understand that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to visualize interactively. We will utilize the power of web-readiness to orchestrate. We have come to know that if you iterate proactively then you may also harness compellingly. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What does the term "60/24/7/365, visionary content" really mean? Without adequate media sourcing, user interfaces are forced to become sexy. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without versioning, you will lack paradigms. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? Think intra-short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? We have come to know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also exploit transparently. We will leverage the capacity of mindshare to exploit. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix.