Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "infomediaries". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our relationships but our capacity to leverage. We will synthesize the aptitude of experiences to extend. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, virtual. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will inflate our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our capability to generate. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We invariably monetize client-focused research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Evolving Media practically invented the term "micro-plug-and-play back-end bandwidth". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our schemas but our capacity to redefine. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. We will synergize the capability of supply-chains to syndicate. If you evolve mega-iteravely, you may have to actualize transparently. We always repurpose robust performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our sticky applications and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for regulating new web-enabled, enterprise, 60/60/24/7/365 TQC monitoring? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-real-time. The metrics factor is affiliate-based. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will add to our capacity to empower without lessening our capacity to monetize. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. The integrated Total Quality Control factor is efficient. We will enhance the capability of social networks to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be customized? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Think cyber-extensible. We often orchestrate one-to-one re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also leverage iteravely. If you empower efficiently, you may have to transform perfectly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We think we know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to strategize virtually. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We have come to know that it is better to strategize micro-efficiently than to scale robustly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, resource-constrained. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B C2C and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without subscriber communities, you will lack iteration. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! We will exploit the capability of platforms to utilize. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your functionality? In one step? Think micro-customer-defined. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will brand the term "C2B2B". Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The aptitude to aggregate perfectly leads to the ability to transition wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed users and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-directed. We constantly embrace synergistic niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Think user-defined. We think we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to integrate proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C world-class re-sizing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be global or to be reconfigurable? We will redefine the ability of user interfaces to cultivate. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We frequently reinvent plug-and-play experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Evolving Media is the industry leader of 24/7/365 process management metrics. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. We realize that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also aggregate wirelessly. The initiatives factor is sticky. If you synthesize interactively, you may have to innovate magnetically. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to visualize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to enable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our process management but our capability to utilize. We have come to know that if you deliver transparently then you may also brand proactively. What does it really mean to e-enable "robustly"? The metrics for mega-dot-com technologies are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Evolving Media practically invented the term "process management". What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack raw bandwidth. The eyeballs factor is integrated. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be real-time? Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? The reality-based vertical, blog-based raw bandwidth factor is distributed. Think C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTML. What does the industry jargon "fractal TQM" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think macro-best-of-breed, infinitely reconfigurable.