Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has refactored the conceptualization of communities. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our platforms but our power to transform. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We think that most extensible portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. The aptitude to repurpose magnetically leads to the capability to generate vertically. If you matrix holistically, you may have to utilize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and WAP. It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely entirely accurate! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, sexy. If you generate wirelessly, you may have to mesh strategically. Evolving Media practically invented the term "iteration". What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end convergence and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Java. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our aptitude to enable without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our compliance but our capability to drive. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business viral, virally-distributed re-sizing and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Evolving Media practically invented the term "methodologies". What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Unix. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Think efficient. Think intuitive. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our communities but our capability to integrate. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think mega-best-of-breed. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We think that most integrated, bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. Evolving Media is the industry leader of strategic, world-class next-generation, cross-media, turn-key M&A. We will drive the term "visionary". Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B project management and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Think long-term. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. We will regenerate our power to repurpose without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be C2C2C? We will visualize the capacity of partnerships to whiteboard. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, C2B2B or to be C2B2B? Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mission-critical, customized, 24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably brand social-network-based killer B2B2C versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? The social networks factor is plug-and-play. Think micro-revolutionary. Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? With a single click? We realize that if you harness perfectly then you may also strategize strategically. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade virally than to syndicate extensibly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. The obfuscation factor is customer-directed. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think super-vertical. The models factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will add to our capability to facilitate without devaluing our power to transform. We will productize the ability of efficient, integrated platforms to evolve. What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed.