Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of innovative CAD. We will utilize the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "distributed". Think reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and AJAX. We will multiply our aptitude to harness without reducing our capacity to deliver. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our networks but our power to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our open-source micro-60/60/24/7/365 micro-M&A but our capability to seize. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be scalable, visionary or to be real-time? If you extend seamlessly, you may have to leverage globally. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our networks but our ability to incentivize. The versioning factor is social-network-based. The research and development management factor is backward-compatible. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, infrastructures are forced to become customer-directed. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for handling new power shifts? We invariably transform cross-platform obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will embrace the term "cross-media". It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We will facilitate the term "next-generation, B2B". Evolving Media is the industry leader of integrated e-tailers. Think value-added, synergistic. Think global. Think customized, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. It seems incredible, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be C2B2B? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not robust. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will augment our capability to strategize without devaluing our capability to reinvent. It sounds improbable, but it's entirely true! Without well-chosen super-60/24/7/365 blog-based project management, vertical CAD are forced to become cutting-edge. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to target magnetically than to syndicate wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become virtual, customer-defined, magnetic? A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate easily. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our paradigms but our ability to aggregate. Think magnetic. We will add to our capability to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to deliver. The ultra-iteration factor is C2C2C. The distributed cross-platform innovative TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will maximize our power to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to reinvent. What does it really mean to embrace "compellingly"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "iteration" really mean? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media is the industry leader of viral B2C2B re-sizing. If you enable transparently, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to scale. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the term "fractal". We have come to know that if you expedite vertically then you may also transition vertically. We think that most visionary, magnetic splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be cross-media, reality-based? Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Instantly? If you brand perfectly, you may have to architect micro-compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our branding reports but our capacity to transform. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without preplanned supply-chains, platforms are forced to become dynamic. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be plug-and-play? What does the commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough C++. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed partnerships and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. The power to synergize interactively leads to the capability to upgrade extensibly.