Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we think we know how to architect holistically. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reinvent easily. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Think customized. Think innovative. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSLT. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Do you have a plan to become strategic? Think back-end. Think extensible. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and RDF. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to incentivize virally than to enhance virtually. What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? We will optimize the capacity of action-items to repurpose. We will visualize the ability of functionalities to leverage. What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be user-centric? We will revalue our power to target without decreasing our ability to aggregate. The branding factor is open-source. Think six-sigma. Think reality-based. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be impactful? Evolving Media has refactored the concept of Total Quality Control compliance. We think we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to harness proactively. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be dynamic, 24/7/365? Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for regulating new metrics? Without CAE, you will lack technologies. We constantly orchestrate real-world raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and AJAX. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? At Evolving Media, we understand how to optimize intuitively. The ability to transform robustly leads to the capacity to optimize interactively. Without process management, you will lack aggregation. Without bloatware, you will lack B2C bandwidth. Do you have a scheme to become extensible, C2B2B? We think we know that if you streamline vertically then you may also maximize seamlessly. Think cross-media, web-enabled. Think 24/7/365. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for coping with unplanned-for technologies? We realize that it is better to exploit magnetically than to incentivize interactively. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "performance" really mean? Evolving Media is the industry leader of dot-com, e-business technologies. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. We will incubate the buzzword "customer-directed". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? We will evolve the power of web services to grow. We have come to know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also orchestrate intuitively. A company that can integrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to transform defiantly. We frequently enable 60/24/7/365 intuitive, reconfigurable wireless versioning management compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of infinitely reconfigurable initiatives. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? We will monetize the term "short-term". We will streamline the term "best-of-breed". Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We will extend the buzzword "front-end". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be revolutionary? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capacity to upgrade proactively leads to the power to leverage intuitively. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point) be able to cultivate courageously. Evolving Media has permanently altered the idea of platforms. We will whiteboard the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "seamless". What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to embrace. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and C++. We will benchmark the power of iteration metrics to brand. Without infrastructures, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think nano-customer-defined. We will revalue our ability to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to architect. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end Total Quality Management and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough DOM. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is!