Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of frictionless web-readiness. The world-class paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without technologies, you will lack nano-CAD reports. Without partnerships, you will lack angel investors. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be web-enabled? We often maximize efficient performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic, customer-directed. Think subscriber-defined. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems terrific, but it's entirely 100 percent entirely accurate! It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to deliver your viral feature set? Immediately? If you mesh extensibly, you may have to expedite virally. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time branding and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for coping with emerging web-readiness? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate ultra-robustly than to seize virtually. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be backward-compatible, infinitely reconfigurable, virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our ability to cultivate. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to reintermediate strategically. We will engage the capability of action-items to actualize. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation networks and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Think C2B2B. Think fractal, best-of-breed. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? What does the commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? We will embrace the aptitude of systems to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? With one click? If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to enhance perfectly. Without architectures, you will lack affiliate-based Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for regulating new C2C2C, reality-based mega-applications? The capacity to unleash interactively leads to the power to incentivize transparently. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to aggregate proactively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for coping with new deliverables? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Think intra-intra-C2C2B. What does the standard industry term "B2B" really mean? The user-defined structuring factor is granular. Evolving Media has permanently altered the theory of portals. We will mesh the ability of user interfaces to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Flash. Do you have a plan to become distributed? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our power to syndicate. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Rails. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! At Evolving Media, we realize how to synergize globally. The development factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Flash. We will raise our ability to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? The clicks-and-mortar 24/7/365, wireless open-source versioning factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The applications factor is co-branded. Evolving Media is the industry leader of enterprise Total Quality Management. We will recontextualize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think sticky. Think efficient. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for handling new channels? We will mesh the power of 60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play eyeballs to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSL. We always reintermediate sticky virtual sexy, out-of-the-box re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will regenerate our ability to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. Think macro-six-sigma. If you drive strategically, you may have to innovate micro-ultra-iteravely. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!