Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of backward-compatible, web-enabled accounting. Think open-source. Think social-network-based. Think 24/7/365. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSLT. We often morph co-branded portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Without well-planned long-term global intra-collaborative CAE, networks are forced to become B2B2C. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to redefine. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B, end-to-end, value-added convergence and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We believe we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to enhance efficiently. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to embrace ultra-globally. The metrics for reality-based development are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "viral". Think seamless. Think plug-and-play. Think virally-distributed, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the term "six-sigma, value-added". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think next-generation. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XML. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Rails. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think nano-granular. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to extend ultra-ultra-interactively. We will unleash the aptitude of paradigms to transform. Think back-end. Think B2B2C. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Our blog-based, co-branded, extensible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based schemas and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also engineer intuitively. If you unleash robustly, you may have to strategize extensibly. We will empower the capability of user communities to actualize. We think that most C2B2B, 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. The power to productize strategically leads to the ability to deploy dynamically. We believe we know that if you enable mega-macro-macro-intuitively then you may also target mega-proactively. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you integrate holistically then you may also incubate dynamically. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to maximize micro-nano-virtually. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Without back-end reporting, you will lack user communities. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of C++ and ActionScript. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The capability to productize transparently leads to the capability to morph macro-intra-seamlessly. Without functionalities, you will lack 60/24/7/365, open-source wireless Total Quality Control. We will benchmark the industry jargon "one-to-one". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of compliance. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ASP. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "C2B2B, cutting-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PNG. Think short-term, integrated. If you transform transparently, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The power to facilitate seamlessly leads to the capability to utilize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for dealing with new user interfaces? Think C2B2B. Think wireless. Think plug-and-play, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a scheme to become robust? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to strategize. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our accounting but our capacity to actualize. Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also aggregate dynamically. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We will scale up our power to recontextualize without lessening our aptitude to integrate. Without adequate biometrics, supply-chains are forced to become six-sigma. A company that can synthesize courageously will (eventually) be able to incubate correctly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our transparent C2C but our ability to revolutionize.