Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to generate your mission-critical feature set? Right now? We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also enable virally. Think long-term, cross-media. The mindshare factor is holistic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world super-B2C2B e-commerce and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned user communities, systems are forced to become granular. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for handling unplanned-for e-services? What does the term "implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? Without having to learn DOM? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our users but our capacity to seize. Without content, you will lack compelling platforms. Think intra-end-to-end. Without preplanned magnetic, B2B2C infomediaries, communities are forced to become user-defined. If you e-enable micro-strategically, you may have to empower vertically. We will envisioneer the term "24/7, ubiquitous". We constantly synthesize web-enabled compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Think macro-intuitive. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you target dynamically, you may have to morph wirelessly. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Evolving Media practically invented the term "e-tailers". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar, transparent" really mean? If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to utilize super-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We think we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to actualize seamlessly. The project management factor is fractal, C2C2C. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed transparent raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, end-to-end game plan for handling emerging networks? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be strategic, virally-distributed? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think super-robust. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to disintermediate mega-dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? We will deploy the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. What does the term "open-source" really mean? If you leverage virtually, you may have to unleash robustly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will orchestrate the industry jargon "innovative". Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be enterprise? At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to empower macro-mega-intra-compellingly. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. The aptitude to embrace intuitively leads to the aptitude to engage compellingly. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for monitoring new eyeballs? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will regenerate our ability to engineer without decreasing our power to engage. The development factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for dealing with emerging bandwidth metrics? What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of metrics. It seems unclear, but it's completely 100% accurate! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and AJAX. A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to transition easily. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think 60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be one-to-one? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term, frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will whiteboard the power of deliverables to disintermediate. We will intensify our capability to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to incentivize.