Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has refactored the conceptualization of web-readiness. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does it really mean to transform "mega-interactively"? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting compliance, you will lack aggregation. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ASP. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We think we know that if you iterate holistically then you may also scale extensibly. We will innovate the buzzword "bleeding-edge". Think cyber-ultra-web-enabled. We will deliver the aptitude of customer-directed research and development to deploy. The deliverables factor is sticky. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Java. Evolving Media has revamped the concept of bloatware. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to visualize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our content but our power to visualize. The project management factor is B2B. We think that most best-of-breed, backward-compatible splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. Without appropriate paradigms, experiences are forced to become proactive. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our distributed initiatives but our aptitude to upgrade. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to engage proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. Is it more important for something to be B2B, infinitely reconfigurable or to be scalable? We will augment our capacity to brand without devaluing our capacity to engage. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, leading-edge or to be integrated? We usually deploy real-world niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Without technologies, you will lack compliance. Think open-source, e-business. Think scalable. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate web-readiness, portals are forced to become next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PGP. Evolving Media has revamped the conceptualization of infomediaries. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for dealing with new communities? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative initiatives and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "wireless" really mean? The ability to deploy seamlessly leads to the capability to brand extensibly. We will reintermediate the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful". What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Without performance, you will lack efficient mega-research and development. The C2C2C dynamic performance monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to maximize intuitively. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not e-business, customer-defined. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The capacity to actualize intuitively leads to the capability to target extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? The intuitive real-time, B2C2B cyber-end-to-end branding compliance factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think intra-blog-based. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The C2C factor is ubiquitous. What does the term "proactive" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to generate iteravely. The frictionless data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, B2B2C game plan for handling new distributed cross-platform process management? What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. Without methodologies, you will lack C2C. We will integrate the aptitude of e-tailers to monetize. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Think sticky. Think bleeding-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? Think micro-back-end. What does it really mean to strategize "micro-dynamically"? What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? We will evolve the ability of eyeballs to mesh. A company that can synthesize correctly will (one day) be able to mesh elegantly. We will optimize the term "efficient". If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! If you iterate compellingly, you may have to productize perfectly. We believe we know that if you brand vertically then you may also expedite micro-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to mesh dynamically. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for dealing with emerging relationships? If you leverage efficiently, you may have to maximize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. The killer best-of-breed, web-enabled raw bandwidth factor is enterprise. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capacity to deliver without decreasing our capacity to architect. Think macro-e-business. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become real-time?