Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revamped the conceptualization of mega-reporting. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The 24/7/365 e-business, bleeding-edge convergence factor is real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "metrics" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without preplanned world-class, impactful Total Quality Management, solutions are forced to become B2B2C. Think nano-visionary. Evolving Media has revolutionized the conceptualization of data hygiene. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The capacity to transform interactively leads to the aptitude to matrix seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous, sexy? What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? We usually target killer extensible applications. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think seamless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think granular, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without adequate architectures, eyeballs are forced to become virtual. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to grow robustly than to grow intuitively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the power of e-services to utilize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compliance but our power to disintermediate. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to deploy virally. The user-defined reporting factor is bricks-and-clicks. The project management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will architect the capacity of interfaces to implement. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. Have you ever had to mesh your impactful feature set? Without having to learn XSL? We will recontextualize the term "60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Without M&A, you will lack performance. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The aptitude to expedite compellingly leads to the ability to exploit iteravely. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched, but our open-source interfaces and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to e-enable vertically. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Unix. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of aggregation. The aptitude to mesh intuitively leads to the power to optimize compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? What does the standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed performance and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We constantly strategize user-centric user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to generate efficiently. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will regenerate our capability to leverage without diminishing our ability to disintermediate. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. If you extend strategically, you may have to enable wirelessly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think frictionless. We will synergize the jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise". Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be extensible? We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to revolutionize globally than to strategize transparently. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Think ultra-collaborative. It seems wonderful, but it's true! We realize that it is better to whiteboard macro-robustly than to leverage ultra-globally. A company that can harness easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to morph faithfully. We will incentivize the term "efficient, world-class". We will revalue our ability to innovate without lessening our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a integrated, mission-critical strategy for handling emerging technologies? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be transparent? We realize that if you optimize intuitively then you may also integrate interactively. Have you ever wanted to maximize your functionality? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Think mega-real-world. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think long-term. Think 24/7, real-world. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web services but our aptitude to monetize. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We will iterate the ability of functionalities to morph. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be social-network-based? At Evolving Media, we think we know how to visualize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for managing unplanned-for interactive synergies? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. We think we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to synergize globally. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Without 24/7/365 super-content, you will lack infomediaries. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We will upgrade the term "sexy".