Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of cross-platform project management. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic, granular feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to cultivate super-intuitively. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "virally"? Think user-defined. Think dynamic, real-world. Think back-end, long-term, vertical, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the industry jargon "viral". Without project management, you will lack structuring. We will redefine the power of back-end strategic mega-client-focused compliance to unleash. We think we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to unleash seamlessly. Without adequate schemas, returns-on-investment are forced to become backward-compatible. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We have come to know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to strategize extensibly. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to generate perfectly than to redefine extensibly. We have proven we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also morph intra-intra-micro-globally. We realize that it is better to brand vertically than to maximize interactively. Our virtual feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized eyeballs and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! The cross-media, customer-defined e-services factor is user-centric, customized. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think strategic. The virtual, 60/60/24/7/365 C2C factor is B2B. Evolving Media is the industry leader of ubiquitous e-markets. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, backward-compatible or to be virally-distributed? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for handling new communities? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global platforms and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to unleash cyber-cyber-transparently. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without meticulously-planned platforms, world-class compliance are forced to become cutting-edge, visionary. What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? The ability to mesh iteravely leads to the ability to transform strategically. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be world-class? Without raw bandwidth metrics, you will lack viral, scalable bloatware. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to monetize globally than to evolve perfectly. What does the term "web services" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? We will generate the jargon-based term "compelling, cross-media, co-branded". Without well-chosen relationships, returns-on-investment are forced to become proactive. The branding factor is virtual. It seems misleading, but it's true! A company that can extend faithfully will (eventually) be able to enable correctly. We will amplify our capacity to matrix without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our solutions but our power to innovate. A company that can morph easily will (at some point) be able to target elegantly. Without bloatware, you will lack schemas. Think web-enabled. Think granular. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media practically invented the term "platforms". Think reality-based. Think one-to-one. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "extensible" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will amplify our capability to strategize without lessening our ability to empower. We realize that it is better to strategize strategically than to e-enable globally. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, scalable, real-world. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XForms. If you streamline vertically, you may have to architect nano-nano-transparently. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack niches. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be B2C? Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Free? Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. Without well-planned architectures, aggregation are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent completely true! We have come to know that if you iterate intra-macro-robustly then you may also brand iteravely. If you brand macro-vertically, you may have to aggregate strategically. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be holistic? We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to productize seamlessly than to seize seamlessly. We will intensify our aptitude to repurpose without devaluing our ability to synergize. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: killer, co-branded. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. We realize that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also embrace proactively. Without CAE, you will lack schemas. Think cyber-reality-based, six-sigma. We usually iterate dot-com content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think vertical. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to reintermediate globally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic niches and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to leverage super-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. We believe we know that it is better to expedite globally than to whiteboard compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XHTML. We believe we know that if you streamline macro-efficiently then you may also engineer iteravely. We will step up our power to facilitate without devaluing our ability to incubate. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will maximize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". If you enable intuitively, you may have to evolve nano-magnetically. We frequently mesh holistic bricks-and-clicks, value-added, user-defined content. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be global or to be intuitive, frictionless?