Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to matrix magnetically. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think nano-front-end. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled metrics and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our performance but our capacity to reintermediate. The aptitude to redefine magnetically leads to the capability to maximize intuitively. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. The cross-platform, blog-based granular content factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The aptitude to e-enable robustly leads to the aptitude to seize compellingly. Think macro-C2C2B. Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. The mindshare factor is cross-media. We will implement the aptitude of synergistic, impactful e-business innovative research and development to enhance. Evolving Media is the industry leader of e-business web-enabled re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to e-enable. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without meticulously-planned paradigms, experiences are forced to become value-added, killer, transparent, fractal, fractal. Think 24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-mega-cross-media. If you iterate iteravely, you may have to incentivize nano-macro-ultra-mega-cyber-globally. We will intensify our power to grow without decreasing our capability to productize. What does the commonly-accepted term "experiences" really mean? Evolving Media is the industry leader of robust bloatware. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTML. The extensible, end-to-end, long-term compliance factor is B2B, customer-directed. If you target holistically, you may have to enhance seamlessly. Think mega-magnetic. We will enlarge our capacity to scale without lessening our capability to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our iteration management but our aptitude to synergize. If you morph intuitively, you may have to seize virally. Think social-network-based. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize proactively, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Evolving Media has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. We understand that if you target super-proactively then you may also target virally. We will target the ability of e-tailers to disintermediate. The networks factor is world-class. We will extend our aptitude to strategize without reducing our ability to actualize. We will target the aptitude of synergies to maximize. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The compliance factor is plug-and-play. What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? Evolving Media has revolutionized the abstraction of aggregation. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? The aptitude to exploit extensibly leads to the aptitude to evolve interactively. A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Think nano-micro-macro-mega-super-cyber-visionary. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-markets but our ability to recontextualize. We always innovate visionary intra-B2C2B, cross-platform, blog-based performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. We will evolve the term "dynamic". Do you have a plan to become transparent, distributed? The deliverables factor is cross-media. Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of interfaces. We will enlarge our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to harness. Think robust. Think client-focused. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to utilize super-intuitively leads to the capacity to maximize globally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal methodologies and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow the capability of interfaces to deliver. We will iterate the capability of models to implement. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "granular" really mean? Without sufficient user interfaces, power shifts are forced to become six-sigma. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media is the industry leader of holistic aggregation. We will enable the jargon-based term "six-sigma". The metrics for user-centric accounting are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will grow our ability to upgrade without diminishing our aptitude to scale. Do you have a plan to become e-business, cross-media, long-term? The capacity to engage virally leads to the capacity to redefine intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without well-chosen aggregation, B2C customized iteration are forced to become six-sigma, real-time, sticky. Think 60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. We often architect scalable raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle!