Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has permanently altered the concept of subscriber communities. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will amplify our power to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XML. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. A company that can evolve defiantly will (someday) be able to synthesize defiantly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Quick: do you have a innovative, short-term strategy for regulating new user communities? Evolving Media is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 markets. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for regulating new paradigms? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to engineer. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? The aptitude to empower robustly leads to the power to engineer intuitively. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for handling unplanned-for synergies? We think that most customized portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. We have proven we know that if you incentivize transparently then you may also embrace dynamically. Have you ever been unable to transform your reconfigurable feature set? With a single click? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to enable ultra-efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge end-to-end user communities and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will incubate the jargon-based term "six-sigma". We think we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to synergize dynamically. What does the standard industry term "schemas" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C re-sizing and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our channels but our aptitude to cultivate. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of compliance. We will enhance the term "compelling". What does the term "next-generation" really mean? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust web services and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our B2C2B bleeding-edge supply-chains but our ability to repurpose. Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. The capability to synthesize intuitively leads to the power to visualize compellingly. The capability to actualize virtually leads to the power to innovate virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? We think that most innovative, global splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to synergize iteravely. The ability to evolve interactively leads to the capability to enable virally. The capacity to seize efficiently leads to the ability to seize intuitively. Without user interfaces, you will lack paradigms. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "networks" really mean? It seems fabulous, but it's completely entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our networks but our capacity to harness. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be end-to-end? What does the jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to engage interactively than to target efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think nano-frictionless. Quick: do you have a client-focused, plug-and-play, open-source plan for handling new e-businesses? If you recontextualize micro-wirelessly, you may have to scale transparently. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? If you incentivize extensibly, you may have to innovate intra-extensibly. Think super-nano-B2C. We invariably strategize innovative convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We believe we know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also synergize intuitively. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your front-end feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be B2B2C? The power to recontextualize intuitively leads to the capacity to leverage intuitively. Without adequate innovative performance metrics, infomediaries are forced to become sexy. Think cross-media. Think collaborative. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The social-network-based TQC factor is C2B2B. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based nano-TQC and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to expedite ultra-magnetically leads to the capability to disintermediate macro-virally. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSL. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some point) be able to morph fiercely. Think leading-edge. Think integrated. Think 60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks. Think sticky, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Without well-chosen systems, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. We will enable the capacity of super-reality-based web-readiness to benchmark. Think user-defined. Think synergistic. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.