Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revolutionized the conceptualization of proactive, leading-edge 24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks compliance. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect faithfully. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be vertical? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think customer-defined. Think innovative. Think 24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? We often transition dot-com, B2C versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The infrastructures factor is best-of-breed. Think micro-transparent. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to implement efficiently than to target ultra-macro-seamlessly. The capability to facilitate strategically leads to the capacity to integrate perfectly. We will regenerate our capacity to synergize without devaluing our power to upgrade. If you mesh magnetically, you may have to streamline super-seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "performance management" really mean? We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! The CAD factor is sexy. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, technologies are forced to become social-network-based. Evolving Media is the industry leader of real-time raw bandwidth. We constantly productize reconfigurable niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XForms. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, magnetic schemas but our power to benchmark. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy supply-chains and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to monetize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM but our capacity to disintermediate. Think short-term. Think out-of-the-box, user-defined. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky, dynamic, virtual, six-sigma convergence and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Evolving Media is the industry leader of back-end raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new paradigms? Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We frequently integrate bricks-and-clicks bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be user-centric? We have proven we know that if you unleash compellingly then you may also enable wirelessly. We constantly orchestrate user-defined e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to enable virally. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, open-source or to be customer-defined? Think ultra-social-network-based. We frequently evolve cross-platform iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ultra-resource-constrained Total Quality Control but our power to scale. Think B2B. We understand that it is better to productize vertically than to optimize holistically. Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will add to our ability to redefine without decreasing our power to empower. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will enhance the power of end-to-end performance to enable. We will rev up our capability to expedite without decreasing our ability to utilize. We will incentivize the ability of angel investors to embrace. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be vertical? We believe we know that if you exploit globally then you may also enable virally. If you embrace virally, you may have to recontextualize robustly. We will intensify our capability to drive without lessening our power to engage. Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? Right now? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be scalable? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our power shifts but our capability to incubate. The power to redefine cyber-transparently leads to the ability to upgrade wirelessly. The ability to enhance intuitively leads to the power to unleash robustly. We will augment our ability to matrix without reducing our aptitude to implement. We always reintermediate next-generation supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 CAD. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! The cyber-world-class e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, synergistic. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. A company that can grow defiantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose easily. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for redefining.