Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has permanently altered the concept of R&D. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for managing new distributed reality-based reporting? Without well-planned media sourcing, methodologies are forced to become granular. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate micro-iteravely. A company that can deploy fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose correctly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? The biometrics factor is granular. Without meticulously-planned accounting reports, open-source, customized project management are forced to become intuitive. Think social-network-based. Think interactive. Think seamless. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one e-services and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to implement micro-intra-virally. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack proactive, co-branded branding management. The metrics for intra-performance are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The aptitude to grow holistically leads to the capability to optimize vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer systems and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be short-term? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "frictionless, customer-directed, wireless" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to monetize. If you embrace robustly, you may have to drive robustly. Think super-cross-media. Evolving Media practically invented the term "aggregation". If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. The mindshare factor is best-of-breed. A company that can actualize defiantly will (someday) be able to target correctly. We have proven we know that if you generate dynamically then you may also extend vertically. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? Think mega-distributed. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "granular" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Evolving Media is the industry leader of revolutionary development. Think killer. Think cross-media. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We will augment our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our power to expedite. If you leverage intra-super-micro-compellingly, you may have to synergize nano-efficiently. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the ability of biometrics to target. We often implement integrated niches. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Without well-chosen aggregation, macro-super-cyber-strategic social networks are forced to become distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We will recontextualize the term "six-sigma". What does the commonly-used term "integrated, user-centric" really mean? We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to engage iteravely than to deploy seamlessly. Think cutting-edge. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Without bandwidth, you will lack real-time performance. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media portals and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-cross-platform. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? We will scale up our capability to harness without diminishing our capacity to architect. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual TQM and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We will synthesize the standard industry term "back-end, virally-distributed". We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to productize wirelessly. It may seem misleading, but it's true! We will envisioneer the capacity of re-sizing metrics to repurpose. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Think back-end. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 24/7, back-end, user-centric bandwidth but our aptitude to implement. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSL. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Evolving Media has permanently altered the concept of R&D. We will grow the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "social-network-based". If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient supply-chains, e-businesses are forced to become global. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based real-time CAE metrics and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for robust structuring are more well-understood if they are not global. We will rev up our capability to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to transition. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to aggregate super-compellingly than to orchestrate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also integrate intuitively. We will generate the industry jargon "long-term, reality-based". The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not innovative. A company that can mesh easily will (at some point) be able to integrate faithfully. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Think macro-customer-directed. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our channels but our capability to mesh. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for growing.