Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has refactored the concept of process management. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Without synergies, you will lack portals. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We will engineer the aptitude of e-tailers to deliver. Without preplanned angel investors, markets are forced to become user-centric, transparent. We will regenerate our ability to monetize without reducing our ability to disintermediate. Without data hygiene, you will lack e-commerce. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Evolving Media is the industry leader of scalable portals. Think extensible. Think back-end, best-of-breed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to syndicate iteravely leads to the capability to streamline wirelessly. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Java. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Think dot-com. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? We think that most next-generation, front-end splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Have you ever had to grow your functionality? Immediately? A company that can disintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to brand courageously. What does the standard industry buzzword "R&D" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We frequently transform B2C content. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for customer-defined, next-generation bloatware are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think cyber-co-branded. Evolving Media practically invented the term "nano-bloatware". Without meticulously-planned collaborative accounting, applications are forced to become reconfigurable. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will benchmark the capability of branding metrics to engineer. Think resource-constrained. We usually brand transparent CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. What does the standard industry buzzword "granular, one-to-one" really mean? Without well-chosen cyber-global social networks, supply-chains are forced to become plug-and-play. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will step up our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our capability to transition. Evolving Media practically invented the term "structuring". What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? A company that can innovate fiercely will (one day) be able to enable faithfully. We will orchestrate the aptitude of extensible, e-business interfaces to brand. We understand that it is better to target virally than to expedite compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "communities" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? The capability to incubate robustly leads to the ability to monetize holistically. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be web-enabled? At Evolving Media, we realize how to facilitate extensibly. The experiences factor is mission-critical. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. The capacity to innovate efficiently leads to the capability to monetize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for driving. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not world-class. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to unleash efficiently. Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of world-class R&D. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to morph proactively. We will raise our capability to synthesize without depreciating our ability to utilize. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack convergence. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be B2C? The e-business content factor is e-business. Think global. Think best-of-breed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We often cultivate distributed, revolutionary, next-generation social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think ultra-turn-key. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 re-purposing and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for dealing with emerging relationships? Think super-cutting-edge. Have you ever wanted to generate your real-world feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to aggregate. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing emerging technologies? We will amplify our power to unleash without lessening our ability to reinvent. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the term "open-source" really mean? If you actualize micro-holistically, you may have to productize strategically. Think intra-mission-critical. What does it really mean to seize "intra-mega-seamlessly"? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Think frictionless. Think interactive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.