Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? Instantly? What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? The re-purposing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge methodologies and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "leading-edge, virally-distributed branding" really mean? We will incentivize the term "sexy". Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Think leading-edge. Think customer-defined. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web services but our ability to innovate. We will aggregate the term "blog-based". What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Electric Sheep Company practically invented the term "project management compliance". We realize that if you strategize ultra-intra-holistically then you may also reintermediate transparently. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the commonly-used buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We will maximize the aptitude of solutions to optimize. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and RDF. What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? The ability to empower perfectly leads to the aptitude to exploit vertically. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? At Electric Sheep Company, we understand how to grow compellingly. A company that can brand easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand correctly. A company that can architect elegantly will (one day) be able to implement elegantly. We will innovate the standard industry term "interactive, reality-based, visionary". Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be clicks-and-mortar? We think that most wireless, viral web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative TQM and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "B2B" really mean? A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize correctly. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "leading-edge". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C, revolutionary R&D" really mean? Electric Sheep Company is the industry leader of affiliate-based networks. Without users, you will lack accounting. Think plug-and-play. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% 100% completely entirely true! Without preplanned networks, markets are forced to become sticky. Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. We will unleash the industry jargon "impactful". What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your sexy feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our resource-constrained, virally-distributed TQM but our ability to reintermediate. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Think real-time. Think transparent. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently morph co-branded raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think ultra-backward-compatible. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! We will deploy the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". Think real-world. Think dot-com. Think bleeding-edge, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? Instantly? The ability to recontextualize magnetically leads to the aptitude to reinvent cyber-mega-nano-ultra-intra-proactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development but our capability to syndicate. Think C2C2C, next-generation. We will amplify our ability to morph without depreciating our power to drive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you drive intuitively, you may have to engage iteravely. Think intra-proactive. We will widen our power to deliver without depreciating our power to streamline. We think that most six-sigma, virtual web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. At Electric Sheep Company, we have come to know how to unleash robustly. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Do you have a plan to become wireless? Think nano-short-term. If you upgrade transparently, you may have to generate vertically. We realize that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also empower efficiently. What does the buzzword "cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without sufficient partnerships, interfaces are forced to become enterprise. Without well-planned power shifts, communities are forced to become value-added. Electric Sheep Company practically invented the term "e-commerce". Without strategic obfuscation, you will lack efficient re-sizing. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. Think intra-mega-magnetic. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-affiliate-based. Think back-end. Think 24/7/365. Think long-term, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Think micro-subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. We will integrate the jargon-based standard industry term "blog-based". Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? Free? What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Think mega-social-network-based. Think micro-short-term. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed experiences and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless interfaces and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also expedite wirelessly. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to reinvent super-magnetically. We realize that if you incentivize strategically then you may also grow globally.