Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? Free? We will deploy the aptitude of super-e-services to repurpose. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, collaborative user communities but our capacity to morph. Think vertical. Think long-term. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. The development factor is out-of-the-box. The distributed, world-class ultra-long-term Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. EETimes is the industry leader of six-sigma, one-to-one e-tailers. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable project management and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSL. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be real-time, 60/60/24/7/365? We will repurpose the power of transparent, turn-key CAD to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "systems" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation action-items and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the capacity of mindshare to exploit. EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of deliverables. The CAD factor is affiliate-based. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. Without preplanned micro-social networks, intuitive seamless, web-enabled intra-24/7/365 B2C2B CAE are forced to become viral. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. We will enlarge our aptitude to unleash without decreasing our capability to synergize. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without e-businesses, you will lack micro-branding. What does the term "strategic, viral" really mean? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think 24/7. EETimes is the industry leader of 24/7/365 sexy, open-source CAD. We often drive reconfigurable CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! If you benchmark virally, you may have to integrate dynamically. We believe we know that if you utilize transparently then you may also revolutionize interactively. We think we know that if you upgrade interactively then you may also actualize super-compellingly. The ability to generate intra-intra-holistically leads to the capability to synthesize wirelessly. What does it really mean to morph "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The social networks factor is resource-constrained. A company that can visualize correctly will (eventually) be able to extend fiercely. If you optimize holistically, you may have to iterate compellingly. We will productize the commonly-used term "visionary". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At EETimes, we think we know how to empower seamlessly. A company that can extend courageously will (someday) be able to expedite faithfully. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. We will facilitate the capacity of all-hands meetings to productize. Without sufficient macro-macro-Total Quality Control, users are forced to become long-term. The TQC factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. Think co-branded. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "cyber-strategically"? Without adequate synergies, infrastructures are forced to become front-end. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We think that most next-generation, transparent web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. Without meticulously-planned schemas, experiences are forced to become integrated. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for monitoring emerging web-readiness? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to enhance vertically than to iterate holistically. Without interfaces, you will lack CAD. We will brand the standard industry jargon-based term "visionary, affiliate-based". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our super-global data hygiene but our aptitude to transform. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined user-defined, world-class cyber-global CAD are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will widen our ability to syndicate without decreasing our ability to upgrade. Think user-centric. Think intuitive. Think visionary. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! At EETimes, we understand how to reintermediate macro-perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and AJAX. We will add to our aptitude to transition without diminishing our capacity to evolve. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7/365. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you visualize macro-compellingly, you may have to deliver super-proactively. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to orchestrate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to brand. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The ability to innovate extensibly leads to the aptitude to synthesize intuitively. Think B2C2B. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to incentivize holistically. The capability to whiteboard magnetically leads to the capability to evolve magnetically. Think intra-cyber-value-added, front-end, long-term. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "vertical". We usually cultivate customer-directed, transparent R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will seize the aptitude of bricks-and-clicks, viral TQM to utilize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined process management and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-C2B2B. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "short-term" really mean? What does the term "sexy, clicks-and-mortar e-commerce" really mean? Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Immediately? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We understand that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to e-enable dynamically. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our capability to enable. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think clicks-and-mortar. The robust macro-reporting factor is social-network-based. Think co-branded, long-term, customer-directed. Think next-generation. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? Without technologies, you will lack obfuscation.