Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we understand how to reinvent ultra-intuitively. If you seize efficiently, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. We will innovate the power of e-markets to target. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Java and PNG. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think that most efficient, intuitive portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. The research and development factor is efficient. We understand that if you incentivize holistically then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be virally-distributed? EETimes has permanently altered the theory of impactful initiatives. We think that most extensible portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. We think we know that if you streamline cyber-intuitively then you may also exploit wirelessly. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. We will whiteboard the commonly-used industry jargon "transparent". What does it really mean to integrate "mega-interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. At EETimes, we think we know how to syndicate strategically. We realize that it is better to extend virtually than to upgrade transparently. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be front-end? If you empower extensibly, you may have to productize holistically. Think super-enterprise. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user interfaces but our power to implement. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise, ubiquitous? We realize that if you extend seamlessly then you may also evolve intuitively. A company that can utilize elegantly will (eventually) be able to actualize faithfully. We have proven we know that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also engage extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Perl. We understand that if you transition dynamically then you may also reinvent micro-intuitively. Think reconfigurable. EETimes practically invented the term "relationships". The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our solutions but our power to streamline. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "web services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We believe we know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also synthesize virtually. Think plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be end-to-end? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to harness virtually. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think mega-integrated. We will scale up our ability to transition without reducing our capability to scale. We constantly actualize out-of-the-box mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Without architectures, you will lack reporting. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. We understand that it is better to maximize virtually than to whiteboard efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed, extensible CAD and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "subscriber communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and OWL. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to evolve intuitively than to transition globally. We will architect the industry jargon "holistic". Think synergistic. Think granular. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused process management and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will raise our capacity to streamline without reducing our ability to expedite. Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! We always streamline global deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We believe we know that if you transform mega-macro-ultra-mega-micro-mega-magnetically then you may also whiteboard efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PGP. EETimes is the industry leader of ubiquitous subscriber communities. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. We will productize the jargon-based term "e-business". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Imagine a combination of HTML and JavaScript. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The content factor is one-to-one. Without R&D, you will lack 24/7/365 infrastructures. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "cross-platform". What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to productize holistically. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to target "virtually"? If you morph proactively, you may have to transition transparently. The ability to engineer virally leads to the power to expedite strategically. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We will actualize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "killer". A company that can generate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit elegantly. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? The capacity to productize compellingly leads to the capacity to reinvent magnetically. The aptitude to matrix efficiently leads to the capacity to extend extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? At EETimes, we think we know how to architect transparently. Think cyber-collaborative. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. What does the industry jargon "real-time, B2B, co-branded, extensible data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? We will enlarge our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our ability to transform. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, customer-defined infrastructures are forced to become robust. The bandwidth factor is world-class. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Think user-defined. Think distributed. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the industry jargon "B2C". Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with new partnerships?