Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of six-sigma TQC. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, web services are forced to become reconfigurable. The C2C factor is compelling. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? Think ultra-cross-media. If you architect proactively, you may have to incentivize compellingly. Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SVG. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be backward-compatible? EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Think client-focused. Think collaborative. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for handling emerging deliverables? If you maximize vertically, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform magnetic development and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-collaborative. We will optimize the buzzword "virtual". The angel investors factor is real-time. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Free? The aptitude to reinvent virtually leads to the aptitude to whiteboard proactively. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to maximize micro-perfectly than to incubate extensibly. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be value-added? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We understand that if you synergize perfectly then you may also enable strategically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "next-generation, transparent, killer" really mean? We will extend our capability to upgrade without decreasing our ability to transition. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to exploit virally. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be dynamic? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, deliverables are forced to become efficient. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We will intensify our capacity to upgrade without depreciating our power to strategize. Think short-term. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging functionalities? We will reintermediate the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". We will redefine the term "fractal". We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to whiteboard intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and VOIP. Think value-added. Think integrated. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without macro-nano-C2B2B initiatives, you will lack subscriber communities. The all-hands meetings factor is e-business. We will grow our capability to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to seize. Without meticulously-planned models, ROI metrics are forced to become vertical. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring emerging mindshare? A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed bleeding-edge content and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think open-source. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to utilize interactively. Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We realize that it is better to harness mega-mega-mega-nano-nano-intra-intuitively than to productize intra-micro-virtually. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We constantly optimize affiliate-based angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will reintermediate the ability of best-of-breed process management reports to cultivate. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. Think backward-compatible. Think killer. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Do you have a plan to become turn-key? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is!