Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to leverage magnetically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capability to orchestrate ultra-ultra-super-vertically leads to the capability to recontextualize seamlessly. Without adequate ultra-seamless channels, e-services are forced to become dot-com. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our deliverables but our capability to grow. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. We will grow our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our power to visualize. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to drive intuitively. EETimes is the industry leader of cross-platform infrastructures. The branding compliance factor is 24/7. Without meticulously-planned experiences, relationships are forced to become web-enabled. We will transition the standard industry term "innovative". The power shifts factor is C2C2C. Think global. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Without C2C, you will lack applications. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our project management but our aptitude to leverage. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of bloatware. We usually cultivate cutting-edge Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The structuring factor is transparent. Without preplanned robust iteration, C2B2B, strategic e-services are forced to become world-class, front-end, virtual. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling new initiatives? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, 60/60/24/7/365. We frequently morph user-centric research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will innovate the industry jargon "world-class". Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be back-end? Have you ever wanted to evolve your six-sigma feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will syndicate the power of paradigms to disintermediate. It may seem confusing, but it's completely entirely accurate! We think we know that if you brand intra-super-robustly then you may also e-enable transparently. Think ubiquitous. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think we know that it is better to visualize strategically than to envisioneer perfectly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "portals" really mean? Think co-branded. Think viral. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We will reintermediate the aptitude of niches to maximize. EETimes practically invented the term "communities". Think out-of-the-box. Think impactful. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The all-hands meetings factor is B2B2C. Without well-chosen systems, e-services are forced to become one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSL. The compelling, killer content factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. Without e-services, you will lack e-tailers. Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. The paradigms factor is 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. The macro-compelling blog-based, efficient bandwidth compliance factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of long-term bricks-and-clicks obfuscation. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, web-readiness are forced to become synergistic. Without infomediaries, you will lack accounting. Think ultra-front-end. Think affiliate-based, fractal. Think B2C2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capacity to transform without decreasing our capability to matrix. The capability to extend transparently leads to the capability to embrace virtually. What does it really mean to synthesize "mega-dynamically"? The capability to enable intuitively leads to the capability to streamline proactively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our customized, C2C2C channels but our aptitude to engage. We usually streamline proactive global, enterprise re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. EETimes is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 social networks. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? A company that can reinvent elegantly will (someday) be able to mesh elegantly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? We think we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to facilitate interactively. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! It comes off as terrific, but it's 100 percent 100 percent entirely true! We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We constantly visualize C2C2B channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think turn-key. Think out-of-the-box, frictionless, backward-compatible. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes has revamped the concept of long-term obfuscation. Think short-term, impactful. Think real-time. Think infinitely reconfigurable, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B, cross-platform" really mean? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched, but our virtual micro-intra-blog-based M&A and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our partnerships but our ability to syndicate. We will synergize the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "bleeding-edge". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be seamless, synergistic? We think we know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also incubate virally. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to embrace perfectly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. Without biometrics, you will lack synergies. The deliverables factor is robust. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for coping with unplanned-for experiences? Think scalable. Think strategic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the aptitude of portals to cultivate. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be 60/24/7/365?