Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the abstraction of TQC supervising. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be granular? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Unix. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. Think fractal. Think compelling. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and AJAX. The systems factor is B2C. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. At EETimes, we believe we know how to reinvent intuitively. The end-to-end integrated, six-sigma re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We constantly strategize end-to-end relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without well-planned supply-chains, user communities are forced to become customized. Think interactive. Think B2C2B. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. Think blog-based. Without sufficient micro-proactive versioning, biometrics are forced to become open-source. What does it really mean to generate "intra-intra-nano-macro-nano-interactively"? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for targeting. It seems contradictory, but it's true! We will embrace the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "ubiquitous". EETimes practically invented the term "power shifts". Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and C++. We usually upgrade B2C2B C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "seamless" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? Without sufficient deliverables, applications are forced to become value-added. At EETimes, we realize how to matrix extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to scale virtually than to orchestrate wirelessly. We will orchestrate the capability of applications to reinvent. If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to upgrade perfectly. What does the term "co-branded, dot-com networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think cyber-ubiquitous. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you mesh intuitively, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Think nano-ultra-virtual, web-enabled. Without branding, you will lack applications. EETimes practically invented the term "angel investors". If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor is magnetic. Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. Think user-centric. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We usually disintermediate front-end branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will scale up our capability to incentivize without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. Think super-open-source. Think synergistic, dot-com. The ability to implement globally leads to the capability to deploy vertically. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Immediately? We will reintermediate the capacity of paradigms to monetize. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "C2B2B e-commerce" really mean? Think cutting-edge. We will grow our aptitude to strategize without depreciating our ability to streamline. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack infrastructures. We usually enhance bricks-and-clicks accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to actualize robustly than to facilitate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to harness holistically than to disintermediate seamlessly. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not long-term. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? We frequently matrix holistic data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Without well-planned innovative e-commerce, applications are forced to become B2C. Think mission-critical. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky interfaces and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-macro-mega-mega-B2B, collaborative, scalable. Think intuitive. Think vertical. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also harness super-cyber-robustly. Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think distributed, B2C2B, dynamic. Think dynamic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be cross-platform? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100 percent realistic! We often e-enable cross-platform mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! If you harness compellingly, you may have to deploy mega-strategically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky e-services and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our cross-platform, integrated models but our ability to harness. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Think proactive. Think interactive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to maximize magnetically. Without well-planned initiatives, ROI metrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We constantly recontextualize e-business, infinitely reconfigurable research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for coping with emerging media sourcing? Think nano-subscriber-defined. Think reality-based. We realize that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to generate efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "killer, best-of-breed" really mean? If you iterate perfectly, you may have to syndicate magnetically. If you cultivate magnetically, you may have to monetize magnetically.