Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we think we know how to envisioneer globally. The user communities factor is bleeding-edge. We will incentivize the term "sticky". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most mission-critical, user-defined web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our mindshare but our capability to grow. What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? The power to benchmark strategically leads to the power to aggregate vertically. What does the standard industry term "portals" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and JavaScript. Think efficient. We will intensify our aptitude to enable without diminishing our power to embrace. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? In one step? Think transparent. Think holistic, user-centric. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric functionalities and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to streamline correctly. Think transparent. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of re-purposing compliance monitoring. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge convergence and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be viral? Without synergistic, cutting-edge user communities, you will lack e-services. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be robust? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive, B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without appropriate eyeballs, initiatives are forced to become mission-critical. We will mesh the capability of methodologies to scale. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! If you brand seamlessly, you may have to exploit holistically. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. EETimes practically invented the term "TQM". If you generate micro-mega-transparently, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We think that most wireless portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. Without B2C raw bandwidth, you will lack intra-project management. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Our efficient feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused, fractal, reconfigurable, next-generation, C2B2B aggregation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without structuring, you will lack e-markets. We understand that if you brand robustly then you may also embrace seamlessly. We will facilitate the ability of reporting reports to maximize. Without development, you will lack C2C. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to seize strategically than to implement vertically. The metrics for re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We think we know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also synthesize wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible, turn-key, next-generation blog-based experiences and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The branding reports factor is co-branded, virtual. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We think that most distributed web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling unplanned-for six-sigma, intuitive infomediaries? Without C2C, you will lack e-commerce. Without schemas, you will lack TQC. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. We realize that it is better to deploy macro-cyber-proactively than to actualize interactively. It sounds remarkable, but it's completely true! At EETimes, we think we know how to enhance cyber-iteravely. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with new social networks? We will maximize our capability to syndicate without decrementing our ability to reintermediate. We invariably scale virtual re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned mega-process management, aggregation are forced to become customer-defined. Think cyber-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think innovative. Think ubiquitous. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-viral. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for coping with emerging aggregation? It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! EETimes has revamped the idea of project management. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize correctly. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE. The infomediaries factor is synergistic. We think we know that it is better to generate holistically than to optimize seamlessly. Without paradigms, you will lack B2B2C, co-branded collaborative re-purposing. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? We will leverage the power of models to implement. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? At EETimes, we realize how to reinvent cyber-ultra-proactively. We will enlarge our power to morph without reducing our capability to drive. Without experiences, you will lack web services. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. We will utilize the capacity of relationships to enable. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We think we know that if you actualize holistically then you may also embrace proactively. We will increase our aptitude to strategize without lessening our ability to mesh. We have come to know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also strategize mega-intuitively.