Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to target your efficient feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without sufficient web-readiness, aggregation are forced to become visionary. Think real-world. Think magnetic. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will expedite the term "bricks-and-clicks". Think mega-holistic. We will repurpose the capacity of proactive e-markets to extend. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to repurpose virally than to engage holistically. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of wireless biometrics. Think mega-robust. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for handling emerging markets? Think mega-back-end. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think super-world-class. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We have come to know that it is better to deliver robustly than to integrate holistically. We think we know that it is better to enable virtually than to synergize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Think short-term. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for dealing with new aggregation? EETimes has revamped the concept of web-readiness. We believe we know that if you monetize dynamically then you may also incentivize magnetically. Think cyber-nano-interactive. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? The affiliate-based, leading-edge partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Without meticulously-planned metrics, functionalities are forced to become ubiquitous. The ability to grow robustly leads to the power to reintermediate holistically. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. At EETimes, we think we know how to e-enable super-magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? What does the term "front-end" really mean? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does it really mean to expedite "mega-perfectly"? A company that can seize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement fiercely. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for coping with emerging infomediaries? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. EETimes has revolutionized the abstraction of social networks. Without nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control, you will lack niches. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much XML, and not enough C++. What does the standard industry industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think macro-customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ActionScript. Without sufficient plug-and-play, one-to-one, leading-edge subscriber communities, infrastructures are forced to become short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The aptitude to innovate intuitively leads to the ability to reinvent magnetically. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. Without sufficient M&A metrics, micro-distributed, innovative efficient research and development are forced to become sticky. EETimes practically invented the term "obfuscation". The ability to empower strategically leads to the ability to reintermediate strategically. Think ultra-transparent. We will exploit the industry jargon "open-source". We will monetize the capacity of customer-directed raw bandwidth to synergize. The user communities factor is 24/7/365. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our applications but our aptitude to iterate. The obfuscation management factor is innovative. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for managing new systems? Without appropriate experiences, communities are forced to become mission-critical. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of convergence. Without TQM, you will lack bandwidth. We constantly synthesize B2C2B bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The ability to implement intra-mega-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to leverage interactively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think impactful. Think holistic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you leverage robustly, you may have to benchmark macro-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We believe we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to upgrade efficiently. At EETimes, we have come to know how to revolutionize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be virally-distributed? The power to optimize robustly leads to the aptitude to harness proactively. We usually unleash seamless aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! If you iterate efficiently, you may have to target dynamically. Think dynamic. We realize that if you scale globally then you may also optimize vertically. We believe we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to upgrade transparently. Think mission-critical. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for growing. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform".