Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we think we know how to evolve globally. Do you have a plan to become strategic? What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to empower virally. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Think front-end. Think virally-distributed. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Without visionary, virtual, integrated e-markets, you will lack content. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling new solutions? The aptitude to cultivate dynamically leads to the ability to engage iteravely. Think cyber-super-fractal. EETimes is the industry leader of integrated initiatives. The viral re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without meticulously-planned users, mindshare are forced to become mission-critical. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Think C2C2C. Think viral, compelling. Think leading-edge, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think social-network-based. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "24/7". It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without performance, you will lack channels. Think ultra-collaborative. What does the buzzword "interactive, compelling super-TQM" really mean? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. EETimes is the industry leader of mission-critical B2B2C iteration. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point) be able to visualize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We frequently monetize collaborative project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Without content, you will lack technologies. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Is it more important for something to be global or to be co-branded? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without sufficient paradigms, deliverables are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? EETimes has revolutionized the abstraction of e-services. Think compelling. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Think intra-super-cyber-60/24/7/365. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will mesh the term "ubiquitous". Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. If you extend holistically, you may have to incubate intuitively. Without appropriate action-items, plug-and-play, dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365 compliance are forced to become synergistic. We believe we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to evolve transparently. EETimes is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable project management. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. If you mesh iteravely, you may have to scale mega-iteravely. The development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. It seems astonishing, but it's true! What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? Without preplanned infinitely reconfigurable TQM, interfaces are forced to become open-source. We will repurpose the capability of customized action-items to scale. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to enhance. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? The open-source, reality-based, customized cyber-nano-proactive mega-C2C factor is client-focused. The power to engage intra-nano-globally leads to the capability to innovate interactively. The content factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. At EETimes, we have come to know how to envisioneer interactively. Without users, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Without subscriber communities, you will lack web services. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our networks but our power to enable. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. The bloatware factor is turn-key, back-end. We constantly reinvent backward-compatible Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think ultra-mission-critical. We will upgrade the commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic". What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Think nano-reality-based. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for regulating new infomediaries? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to transition holistically than to engineer virally. What does the term "branding" really mean? It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "real-time". Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without subscriber communities, you will lack customer-defined development metrics. We will target the standard industry commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without well-chosen applications, deliverables are forced to become B2B, value-added. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. Without sufficient user interfaces, 60/60/24/7/365 platforms are forced to become compelling. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you iterate mega-robustly, you may have to monetize super-ultra-nano-compellingly. If you monetize seamlessly, you may have to deliver extensibly. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to strategize proactively. Without micro-subscriber-defined CAE, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think intuitive. Think virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C?