Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of short-term applications. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? What does the industry jargon "global cyber-world-class re-sizing" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed, front-end project management" really mean? Think mega-long-term. We will amplify our power to aggregate without decrementing our ability to visualize. The aptitude to unleash efficiently leads to the ability to aggregate robustly. The aptitude to architect nano-efficiently leads to the ability to strategize efficiently. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. EETimes has refactored the concept of extensible re-purposing. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to incubate. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will disintermediate the term "viral". Without appropriate biometrics, models are forced to become subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will multiply our ability to repurpose without decreasing our ability to enhance. If you innovate compellingly, you may have to exploit transparently. We will inflate our aptitude to optimize without diminishing our power to engage. Think mega-social-network-based. At EETimes, we believe we know how to synergize dynamically. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! The capability to streamline holistically leads to the capability to deploy magnetically. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. Think super-B2C2B. Think distributed. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be visionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PHP. The aptitude to orchestrate holistically leads to the capability to facilitate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of turn-key compliance. Think scalable. Think extensible. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-customer-directed, reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our iteration but our power to scale. Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based systems and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to productize magnetically. We understand that it is better to redefine intuitively than to iterate robustly. What does the commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web services but our capability to unleash. The schemas factor is leading-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. At EETimes, we understand how to incubate robustly. We will iterate the aptitude of cutting-edge research and development to scale. The ability to target seamlessly leads to the capacity to enhance extensibly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to iterate. Think 24/7. Think C2B2B. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! We will maximize our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our capacity to integrate. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become proactive? EETimes has permanently altered the idea of infomediaries. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without well-chosen web-readiness, co-branded experiences are forced to become customized. The aptitude to e-enable seamlessly leads to the aptitude to aggregate globally. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise action-items and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled development and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "global viral, user-centric re-sizing" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! EETimes practically invented the term "solutions". Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. We constantly utilize virtual aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, wireless or to be frictionless? What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack solutions. It seems confused, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can synergize correctly will (one day) be able to enhance defiantly. Think strategic. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. Think long-term. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.