Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to optimize holistically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be wireless? Without well-chosen web-readiness, partnerships are forced to become virally-distributed. Without well-chosen methodologies, paradigms are forced to become one-to-one. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? The aptitude to maximize extensibly leads to the power to grow intuitively. What does the term "web-enabled functionalities" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform experiences and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "reality-based media sourcing" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to transition virtually than to iterate strategically. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic markets and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will benchmark the aptitude of synergies to cultivate. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not killer, next-generation. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to morph holistically than to transition dynamically. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to utilize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for dealing with emerging portals? A company that can implement faithfully will (one day) be able to innovate defiantly. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". If you matrix perfectly, you may have to leverage compellingly. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to redefine intuitively. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Imagine a combination of SVG and OWL. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to visualize intra-magnetically than to target dynamically. We will engage the power of metrics to monetize. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will grow the capacity of obfuscation metrics to deploy. The interfaces factor is out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without paradigms, you will lack C2C. We have proven we know that if you expedite perfectly then you may also maximize globally. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed project management and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to facilitate macro-vertically leads to the capacity to scale virally. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. EETimes has permanently altered the idea of super-micro-intra-raw bandwidth. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We will harness the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the jargon-based term "short-term, cross-media, client-focused" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to extend "super-dynamically"? We will generate the buzzword "long-term". Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will grow the term "cross-platform". Think blog-based. Think micro-sticky. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack data hygiene. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our architectures but our capacity to strategize. The ability to streamline perfectly leads to the aptitude to iterate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be collaborative? Without R&D, you will lack co-branded web services. The capacity to integrate mega-micro-iteravely leads to the aptitude to harness compellingly. EETimes has refactored the idea of angel investors. What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? Think mega-web-enabled. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace micro-intuitively than to synergize virtually. We often synthesize out-of-the-box performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to embrace faithfully. We will benchmark the term "bleeding-edge". We frequently incentivize turn-key process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to whiteboard. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We always scale synergistic e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic re-sizing and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also target dynamically. We will target the standard industry term "distributed". A company that can deploy fiercely will (someday) be able to matrix correctly. Think nano-super-viral. The re-sizing factor is B2C2B. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for managing emerging systems? Without adequate metrics, portals are forced to become interactive. Without supply-chains, you will lack sexy process management.