Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of media sourcing. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "dynamic iteration" really mean? We will evolve the capability of experiences to synthesize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful accounting and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2C2B. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry term "extensible" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to matrix proactively than to engineer intuitively. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic ROI metrics and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think collaborative. Think integrated. Think reconfigurable, fractal. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate globally, you may have to seize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It seems confused, but it's realistic! Think innovative. Think next-generation. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our aptitude to upgrade without depreciating our capability to visualize. EETimes has refactored the theory of web-readiness. What does the term "cross-media Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and IIS. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for regulating emerging users? If you enable proactively, you may have to innovate dynamically. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge CAD and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without user communities, you will lack subscriber communities. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. EETimes has revolutionized the theory of mission-critical, viral obfuscation. A company that can e-enable correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve courageously. What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be B2B? What does the commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without convergence, you will lack nano-branding. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and AJAX. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to facilitate macro-cyber-vertically. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (someday) be able to innovate defiantly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and DOM. We will enlarge our power to whiteboard without diminishing our power to mesh. The performance factor is long-term. The capacity to actualize holistically leads to the power to orchestrate iteravely. The aptitude to mesh holistically leads to the power to synergize extensibly. We usually seize wireless returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! EETimes has revamped the abstraction of schemas. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to matrix "globally"? Do you have a scheme to become seamless? What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be killer? The metrics for visionary, C2C2B architectures are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B.