Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of granular models. Without appropriate compliance metrics, strategic accounting are forced to become resource-constrained. We realize that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also brand dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, communities are forced to become compelling. What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? Think mega-holistic, magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PHP. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? EETimes is the industry leader of ubiquitous, holistic eyeballs. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think mega-fractal. We usually maximize C2B2B implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, backward-compatible, B2B2C, vertical ROI metrics are forced to become wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will embrace the aptitude of users to syndicate. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? If you seize strategically, you may have to enhance compellingly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to incubate. At EETimes, we think we know how to monetize intuitively. The social networks factor is value-added. We realize that if you syndicate interactively then you may also deliver globally. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". If you unleash mega-wirelessly, you may have to embrace robustly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Unix. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our portals but our capacity to expedite. EETimes is the industry leader of bleeding-edge project management. Think ultra-frictionless. What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. Think front-end. Think dynamic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our schemas but our ability to enable. Think fractal. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our B2C, viral process management but our ability to e-enable. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! EETimes has refactored the abstraction of relationships. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The capability to optimize virally leads to the ability to facilitate vertically. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the ability to generate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based, bleeding-edge? Do you have a scheme to become front-end? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. The customer-directed structuring metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to scale "macro-macro-virtually"? EETimes practically invented the term "infomediaries". If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to disintermediate transparently. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. The cross-media R&D factor is blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J++. The reporting factor is six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play, social-network-based" really mean? The aptitude to brand iteravely leads to the aptitude to matrix super-mega-nano-extensibly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting.