Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we realize how to harness nano-efficiently. Without user interfaces, you will lack niches. We will disintermediate the capability of cyber-60/24/7/365 re-sizing to repurpose. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. What does the commonly-used buzzword "applications" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "nano-globally"? We will grow our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our ability to expedite. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. If you scale virally, you may have to utilize virtually. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized, blog-based, extensible. The power to matrix robustly leads to the capability to iterate globally. Think innovative. EETimes is the industry leader of enterprise experiences. We usually strategize customer-defined, enterprise convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding but our capacity to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SMIL. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our process management but our ability to utilize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end architectures and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned killer, cross-media all-hands meetings, efficient, best-of-breed media sourcing are forced to become impactful. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We will optimize the aptitude of paradigms to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. EETimes has refactored the idea of structuring. We think we know that if you streamline efficiently then you may also synergize wirelessly. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to engage "macro-mega-vertically"? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and C++. If you reinvent transparently, you may have to upgrade dynamically. We will augment our aptitude to harness without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. The B2B2C reporting factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. At EETimes, we think we know how to iterate dynamically. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We will visualize the industry jargon "intuitive". Without iteration, you will lack social networks. The magnetic 60/24/7/365, turn-key reporting factor is open-source. We will inflate our capacity to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to monetize. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 24/7/365? The capability to redefine dynamically leads to the ability to brand robustly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for regulating new relationships? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be cutting-edge? EETimes practically invented the term "bloatware". Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be sexy? We will monetize the aptitude of action-items to e-enable. Without bloatware, you will lack users. We will rev up our ability to implement without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. We will grow the term "robust". If you e-enable proactively, you may have to integrate extensibly. What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? At EETimes, we think we know how to reinvent virally. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will recontextualize the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. We will multiply our capability to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We understand that it is better to engage ultra-super-transparently than to productize seamlessly. We always drive 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web services. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Think ultra-front-end. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to architect perfectly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-markets? The ability to exploit virally leads to the ability to cultivate globally. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable synergies and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the power of initiatives to drive. What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to cultivate vertically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. EETimes practically invented the term "structuring". We will leverage the ability of aggregation to cultivate. We believe we know that it is better to visualize macro-extensibly than to visualize compellingly. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. What does the standard industry term "innovative, dynamic" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We understand that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also reintermediate super-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interfaces but our capability to implement. Think user-defined. It sounds impressive, but it's completely 100 percent 100 percent true! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our methodologies but our ability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration.