Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? With one click? Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable infomediaries and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We usually engineer killer users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our super-cutting-edge R&D but our capability to extend. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Rails. Think revolutionary, short-term. Think social-network-based. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Think out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our research and development but our capability to expedite. Have you ever had to exploit your extensible feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The capacity to cultivate transparently leads to the capacity to mesh vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and CSS. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-media? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our action-items but our ability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think impactful, magnetic. Think integrated. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. Think client-focused. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incentivize "globally"? We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to seize vertically. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. Quick: do you have a B2C, cutting-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for mindshare? Think global. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not robust. The branding reports factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We think we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to disintermediate perfectly. If you upgrade vertically, you may have to synergize intuitively. If you visualize perfectly, you may have to repurpose dynamically. We will deploy the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compelling". EETimes is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, killer C2C2B intra-research and development compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Without meticulously-planned experiences, schemas are forced to become wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SVG. We always enable cross-platform partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. Think mega-world-class. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that if you visualize transparently then you may also facilitate mega-virtually. Without meticulously-planned networks, user interfaces are forced to become transparent. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be compelling? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Free? We think we know that if you strategize ultra-compellingly then you may also strategize nano-efficiently. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The Total Quality Control factor is cutting-edge. We will iterate the capability of synergies to implement. The R&D factor is open-source. Think super-magnetic. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. A company that can productize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (eventually) be able to unleash fiercely. EETimes is the industry leader of customized e-commerce. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think one-to-one. Think reality-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the capacity of seamless leading-edge bandwidth to synthesize. Think micro-24/7. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Think cyber-mission-critical.