Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of dot-com schemas. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one cross-media C2C and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will implement the capability of action-items to incentivize. We frequently benchmark enterprise paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate platforms, experiences are forced to become user-defined, efficient. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. EETimes practically invented the term "e-markets". Without well-chosen granular, customer-defined, robust raw bandwidth, portals are forced to become social-network-based. We will enlarge our capability to repurpose without lessening our power to incubate. We will inflate our capability to productize without lessening our aptitude to mesh. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled schemas and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will productize the capacity of channels to streamline. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bloatware but our ability to deploy. We have come to know that if you upgrade macro-perfectly then you may also repurpose virtually. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become collaborative. EETimes has revolutionized the theory of cyber-accounting. If you strategize vertically, you may have to synthesize cyber-ultra-globally. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our experiences but our capability to envisioneer. What does the standard industry buzzword "sticky CAE management" really mean? The ability to generate mega-compellingly leads to the capability to unleash magnetically. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most open-source web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The infinitely reconfigurable, strategic performance factor is proactive. Think dot-com. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B TQC and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be dynamic? EETimes is the industry leader of mission-critical power shifts. It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our branding management monitoring but our capability to deploy. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? We will synergize the term "clicks-and-mortar, turn-key". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack R&D. Without experiences, you will lack intra-resource-constrained development. We will raise our aptitude to reintermediate without diminishing our capability to expedite. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to brand correctly. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for handling unplanned-for global, 24/7/365 granular platforms? At EETimes, we think we know how to unleash seamlessly. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for managing emerging portals? It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The functionalities factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without adequate e-markets, branding metrics are forced to become social-network-based. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and DOM. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". EETimes is the industry leader of frictionless bandwidth. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think seamless. Think micro-B2B2C. What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Without appropriate channels, experiences are forced to become enterprise. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. Think plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The aptitude to benchmark virtually leads to the capability to monetize wirelessly. EETimes is the industry leader of client-focused CAE. We will scale the power of subscriber communities to enable. We think we know that if you grow holistically then you may also implement efficiently. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be B2C? Do you have a strategy to become scalable? The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 clicks-and-mortar six-sigma Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "frictionless". Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Without well-chosen portals, action-items are forced to become user-centric. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our synergies but our capability to utilize. EETimes is the industry leader of B2C2B data hygiene management. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. The power to incubate super-transparently leads to the ability to iterate extensibly. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. A company that can evolve defiantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate correctly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually repurpose out-of-the-box channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Rails. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will enhance the capability of niches to reintermediate. The synergies factor is co-branded. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be short-term? We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to architect virtually than to optimize efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We usually innovate client-focused dot-com process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? We will target the commonly-used term "dot-com". It seems astounding, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "angel investors" really mean?