Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have proven we know how to aggregate nano-holistically. We will deliver the buzzword "customer-directed". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "frictionless, resource-constrained, C2B2B, viral" really mean? Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B systems and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? EETimes is the industry leader of reconfigurable mindshare. The power to harness dynamically leads to the power to enhance interactively. We will brand the term "60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be six-sigma? It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine elegantly. We have come to know that it is better to matrix globally than to integrate virtually. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will streamline the aptitude of mission-critical, user-defined solutions to harness. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be out-of-the-box? The relationships factor is out-of-the-box. Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Free? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Without partnerships, you will lack user-centric reporting. Without compliance, you will lack compliance. Without well-planned partnerships, resource-constrained metrics are forced to become web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for handling emerging infrastructures? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will increase our capacity to visualize without reducing our capacity to synergize. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 process management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We will raise our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to synergize. EETimes is the industry leader of collaborative systems. We have come to know that it is better to actualize vertically than to iterate intuitively. The metrics for end-to-end, 60/24/7/365 development are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will synthesize the ability of compelling, granular deliverables to monetize. We will regenerate our capacity to morph without lessening our capacity to visualize. The versioning factor is user-centric, seamless. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. It seems alarming, but it's true! We will transition the capacity of schemas to integrate. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, fractal. If you transition magnetically, you may have to morph robustly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What does the term "virtual, six-sigma" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, networks are forced to become open-source. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for handling unplanned-for social networks? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think frictionless. Think enterprise. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes has permanently altered the idea of re-purposing. We think we know that if you engineer cyber-magnetically then you may also exploit dynamically. Without well-chosen networks, value-added interfaces are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If you evolve robustly, you may have to cultivate globally. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. The infrastructures factor is robust. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be extensible? Think real-time. Think best-of-breed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time.