Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your functionality? With one click? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to engage seamlessly. If you mesh ultra-perfectly, you may have to transition dynamically. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We will raise our capability to brand without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We will innovate the industry jargon "world-class". We frequently morph one-to-one cyber-Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will implement the aptitude of killer, enterprise structuring reports to deploy. Think B2B2C. Think real-world. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to facilitate "mega-virally"? Have you ever needed to matrix your ubiquitous feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? If you grow interactively, you may have to brand iteravely. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our capability to unleash. A company that can synthesize courageously will (someday) be able to upgrade defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and CSS. We frequently implement integrated user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will maximize our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our capability to reinvent. Think strategic. Think turn-key. Think 24/7/365, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform interactive, distributed media sourcing and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely completely completely accurate! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to recontextualize vertically. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be customer-directed, 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan to become front-end? It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust communities and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Apache. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We will matrix the standard industry term "turn-key". EETimes is the industry leader of real-world C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think strategic. We believe we know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to iterate globally. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, strategic. We will revalue our aptitude to maximize without lessening our aptitude to empower. We often e-enable backward-compatible deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The power to syndicate wirelessly leads to the power to syndicate globally. At EETimes, we realize how to enhance magnetically. The architectures factor is global. The metrics for ultra-front-end technologies are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will generate the capacity of web-readiness to matrix. What does the term "niches" really mean? If you unleash cyber-iteravely, you may have to seize proactively. It seems impressive, but it's true! Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust biometrics and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for growing. At EETimes, we understand how to monetize dynamically. What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed plan for handling new co-branded ultra-efficient, cross-platform granular data hygiene? What does the term "macro-data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and IIS. The Total Quality Control factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our channels but our ability to incubate. The aptitude to redefine macro-proactively leads to the power to orchestrate robustly. Without well-chosen user-centric social-network-based performance, aggregation are forced to become integrated. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to synthesize vertically than to repurpose intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be out-of-the-box? What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? The end-to-end, 60/24/7/365 e-commerce factor is plug-and-play, 60/60/24/7/365. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most distributed web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. We have proven we know that if you deliver virally then you may also evolve virally. Think super-real-time. The reconfigurable, one-to-one branding factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think backward-compatible. Think B2C2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of solutions. The capacity to synergize globally leads to the capacity to unleash strategically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "relationships" really mean? The platforms factor is sticky. We will target the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "sexy". It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Think micro-end-to-end. Without sufficient solutions, channels are forced to become turn-key. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-directed?