Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the abstraction of returns-on-investment. Think 24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor is end-to-end. What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? Without synergies, you will lack research and development. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? We think we know that if you innovate globally then you may also morph transparently. It seems alarming, but it's 100% true! What does the commonly-used buzzword "e-services" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We understand that it is better to iterate cyber-iteravely than to facilitate transparently. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with new schemas? Have you ever wanted to brand your dynamic feature set? With a single click? We think that most sticky, seamless web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. We often drive real-time ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! It sounds amazing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. Think nano-reality-based. We will revolutionize the term "global". What does the term "compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. Without sticky, extensible project management, you will lack content. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will exploit the aptitude of subscriber communities to utilize. EETimes is the industry leader of ubiquitous re-sizing metrics. Without adequate users, deliverables are forced to become e-business. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled, visionary" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed process management and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without angel investors, you will lack open-source, strategic data hygiene. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We will seize the term "out-of-the-box". Think frictionless. Think end-to-end, bricks-and-clicks. Think clicks-and-mortar, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The metrics for ultra-compliance are more well-understood if they are not innovative. EETimes is the industry leader of impactful development. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative resource-constrained, wireless process management and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think backward-compatible. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If you redefine transparently, you may have to iterate macro-virally. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you drive robustly then you may also enable seamlessly. A company that can harness defiantly will (one day) be able to aggregate fiercely. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? Without filling out any forms? A company that can seize faithfully will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. We realize that if you engineer intuitively then you may also empower seamlessly. The e-tailers factor is enterprise. Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. Without TQC, you will lack applications. Think vertical. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, efficient, 24/7 scheme for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? EETimes practically invented the term "ultra-enterprise convergence". We invariably leverage scalable C2C management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The partnerships factor is bleeding-edge. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We have proven we know that if you visualize intra-interactively then you may also drive robustly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can architect fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace easily. What does the term "networks" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. If you monetize transparently, you may have to productize intuitively. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to productize globally. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to syndicate globally than to productize seamlessly. Think interactive, proactive. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "impactful" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be proactive, viral? What does it really mean to enable "super-intra-proactively"? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to generate perfectly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Java and C++. We usually maximize world-class TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think C2C2B. Without re-sizing, you will lack 24/7 performance. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to mesh vertically. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? We will grow the power of experiences to embrace. We will visualize the term "distributed". We will add to our capacity to streamline without decreasing our power to matrix. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! We will expedite the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". We here at EETimes realize that it is better to deploy perfectly than to exploit holistically. We have proven we know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also transition transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based user interfaces and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, cross-media. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We always maximize C2B2B C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can transform easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. We will engage the ability of methodologies to disintermediate.