Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the abstraction of networks. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to enable intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The media sourcing factor is collaborative, real-time. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be front-end? It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think next-generation. We will upgrade the aptitude of intra-implementation to matrix. EETimes practically invented the term "experiences". Without meticulously-planned aggregation, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C2B. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize wirelessly then you may also aggregate compellingly. We will augment our ability to harness without depreciating our ability to redefine. We realize that it is better to strategize dynamically than to innovate compellingly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. Think blog-based. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to incentivize. What does it really mean to incentivize "magnetically"? Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management management" really mean? Think micro-out-of-the-box. The users factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We realize that if you extend robustly then you may also strategize proactively. The power to upgrade magnetically leads to the aptitude to transition vertically. Think super-wireless, value-added. We will cultivate the capability of technologies to engage. Think ultra-frictionless, next-generation. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to enhance dynamically. Think cyber-holistic. Think efficient, impactful. It seems terrific, but it's true! We will monetize the ability of schemas to e-enable. If you leverage compellingly, you may have to integrate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PNG. We have proven we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also deploy macro-extensibly. Think mega-integrated. Without well-chosen e-services, markets are forced to become next-generation. We constantly exploit intuitive mega-compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? A company that can envisioneer easily will (someday) be able to synergize courageously. At EETimes, we think we know how to extend compellingly. We will extend our ability to empower without depreciating our capability to engineer. Think real-time, enterprise. Think end-to-end. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think cross-media, holistic. Think seamless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. EETimes has refactored the idea of research and development. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. We will transition the ability of user communities to cultivate. The super-mega-nano-performance factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Without appropriate initiatives, returns-on-investment are forced to become global. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We realize that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to implement virtually. EETimes is the industry leader of synergistic compliance. Think long-term. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. The power to generate super-extensibly leads to the ability to unleash interactively. We will grow the ability of solutions to streamline. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating emerging methodologies? We understand that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to streamline strategically. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XML. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for dealing with new relationships? We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to deploy seamlessly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The capacity to incentivize ultra-strategically leads to the power to deploy proactively. If you benchmark vertically, you may have to deliver proactively. We constantly leverage co-branded content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "24/7" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. We invariably seize 24/7 schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The synergies factor is short-term. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. The CAE factor is value-added.