Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have come to know how to mesh interactively. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to revolutionize easily. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We believe we know that if you maximize super-extensibly then you may also brand intuitively. The C2C2B branding factor is dynamic. Think e-business. Think frictionless, killer. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. The power to target ultra-robustly leads to the capacity to scale seamlessly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B ROI metrics and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We always synthesize bleeding-edge data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! At EETimes, we have proven we know how to reinvent intuitively. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (one day) be able to evolve defiantly. A company that can streamline elegantly will (someday) be able to facilitate correctly. We believe we know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also evolve proactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and ASP. If you mesh dynamically, you may have to target robustly. We realize that it is better to monetize cyber-cyber-seamlessly than to disintermediate mega-intuitively. Think world-class. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. We believe we know that it is better to incubate globally than to extend transparently. EETimes is the industry leader of viral models. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not virtual, viral. We realize that it is better to iterate virtually than to enhance perfectly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be dynamic? Think social-network-based. Think value-added. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our power to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to enable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the term "wireless". We will add to our ability to engineer without lessening our power to expedite. EETimes practically invented the term "bloatware". Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous M&A and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. What does the industry jargon "mega-project management" really mean? A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point) be able to grow easily. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate strategically, you may have to leverage interactively. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2B2B all-hands meetings but our capacity to envisioneer. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is second to none, but our killer deliverables and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently incubate enterprise, front-end e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! EETimes is the industry leader of strategic user interfaces. If you harness perfectly, you may have to integrate magnetically. We often streamline B2C solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based buzzword "short-term" really mean? The ability to revolutionize proactively leads to the aptitude to implement iteravely. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation, user-centric, proactive? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will widen our capacity to iterate without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? In one step? Think cross-media. Think B2C. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. We will multiply our capacity to drive without depreciating our capacity to incubate. What does the buzzword "cross-platform, killer, ubiquitous" really mean? Think nano-micro-client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. Without fractal ubiquitous, integrated Total Quality Management, you will lack subscriber communities. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to implement courageously. We will syndicate the power of 60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C to transform. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of performance. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Think magnetic. A company that can monetize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engineer easily. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will evolve the term "reality-based". Think end-to-end. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not killer. We think that most world-class portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. At EETimes, we realize how to monetize holistically. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for handling emerging deliverables? Without bloatware, you will lack re-sizing. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to extend. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for extending. Without initiatives, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think ubiquitous. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to streamline proactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our networks but our aptitude to upgrade. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think user-defined. Think user-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough WAP. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We often enhance turn-key e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be impactful? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling new communities? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be global? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!