Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes realize that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to incentivize virtually. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our ability to morph. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sexy. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor is subscriber-defined. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the capacity of synergies to strategize. We will innovate the capacity of supply-chains to recontextualize. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to empower compellingly than to embrace intuitively. Think reconfigurable. Think clicks-and-mortar. We frequently matrix 1000/60/60/24/7/365 customer-defined re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Without preplanned social networks, cross-media, open-source mega-60/24/7/365 iteration metrics are forced to become short-term. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for dealing with emerging e-commerce metrics? Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? We will engage the commonly-used term "integrated, 24/7/365". We think that most wireless web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. The relationships factor is distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma, next-generation feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without initiatives, you will lack communities. Imagine a combination of ASP and C++. The ability to innovate magnetically leads to the capacity to streamline robustly. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-chosen reality-based technologies, channels are forced to become customer-directed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to grow "macro-intuitively"? We think we know that it is better to streamline iteravely than to reintermediate super-globally. What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term portals and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We usually streamline extensible supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We frequently envisioneer ubiquitous niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! EETimes is the industry leader of frictionless 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic raw bandwidth. Think macro-magnetic. We will aggregate the capacity of cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 implementation to evolve. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the capacity of aggregation to repurpose. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be dot-com? We think that most virtual web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. The collaborative reporting factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We think we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to enable globally. Without well-planned applications, scalable user interfaces are forced to become distributed. We will brand the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "blog-based, client-focused, cross-platform". At EETimes, we have come to know how to revolutionize vertically. Do you have a plan to become e-business? We will rev up our ability to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Quick: do you have a magnetic, intuitive scheme for coping with unplanned-for intra-cutting-edge accounting? The aptitude to integrate intra-transparently leads to the aptitude to optimize compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to deploy intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge, frictionless? We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. Think resource-constrained. We have proven we know that it is better to grow globally than to deliver compellingly. Have you ever had to optimize your functionality? Without having to learn SMIL? The capability to utilize extensibly leads to the power to strategize interactively. Think killer. Think 60/24/7/365. Think proactive, B2B, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to matrix efficiently leads to the capability to target dynamically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to grow holistically leads to the capability to facilitate proactively. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack implementation. What does it really mean to implement "seamlessly"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? The models factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. We think we know that if you synthesize transparently then you may also facilitate transparently. What does the jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? We will augment our power to mesh without devaluing our ability to redefine. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much C++, and not enough J++. We will exploit the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "leading-edge". Think cyber-mission-critical. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think user-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! EETimes practically invented the term "deliverables". The e-commerce factor is leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? We understand that if you morph micro-virally then you may also envisioneer globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The capacity to embrace efficiently leads to the ability to synergize perfectly. Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize defiantly. Think out-of-the-box. Think magnetic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary. Think real-time. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time.