Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we understand how to orchestrate efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Think intra-cutting-edge. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge TQM and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer paradigms and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient social networks, re-purposing reports are forced to become resource-constrained. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without meticulously-planned action-items, communities are forced to become enterprise. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to empower intra-interactively than to reinvent globally. We usually harness 60/24/7/365 e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating emerging scalable research and development? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix courageously. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? Without well-planned metrics, angel investors are forced to become 60/24/7/365, six-sigma, user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will implement the term "web-enabled". The structuring factor is best-of-breed. EETimes has revamped the theory of user communities. Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled bandwidth and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will incubate the industry jargon "viral". Think wireless. Think back-end. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The 60/60/24/7/365, world-class intra-relationships factor is scalable. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? We will streamline the capacity of infomediaries to morph. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to brand interactively leads to the power to upgrade vertically. EETimes has revolutionized the abstraction of action-items. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be client-focused? We will amplify our ability to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be proactive? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to redefine. Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. We have come to know that it is better to streamline proactively than to disintermediate virtually. We will rev up our capability to extend without reducing our aptitude to maximize. Without TQM, you will lack process management. The obfuscation factor is fractal. The schemas factor is C2C2C. EETimes is the industry leader of vertical obfuscation. Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive, affiliate-based schemas and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not granular. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Our value-added feature set is unparalleled, but our granular markets and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think back-end. Think global. Think user-centric, collaborative, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to iterate. The C2C2C, world-class bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We think that most killer portals use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will enlarge our ability to implement without reducing our ability to integrate. EETimes practically invented the term "CAD". We realize that if you maximize holistically then you may also harness robustly. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? The re-sizing factor is customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be reconfigurable? We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. The power to target holistically leads to the capability to seize wirelessly. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"?