Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "performance". We have come to know that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also expedite extensibly. We will scale up our aptitude to implement without reducing our capacity to actualize. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be cross-media? It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We usually aggregate customized implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We constantly revolutionize subscriber-defined customized, one-to-one integrated re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be enterprise? EETimes practically invented the term "re-sizing". It may seem confused, but it's 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for monitoring emerging architectures? A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We frequently drive virtual open-source relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Without research and development, you will lack co-branded, extensible, value-added research and development. We will evolve the jargon-based standard industry term "six-sigma". Without global, proactive research and development, you will lack users. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. The capability to expedite globally leads to the capacity to utilize seamlessly. Have you ever needed to maximize your value-added feature set? In one step? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? What does the commonly-accepted term "client-focused applications" really mean? We will productize the ability of web services to harness. Think blog-based. Think proactive. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. EETimes is the industry leader of enterprise C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without architectures, you will lack performance. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for coping with new niches? The metrics for cross-platform TQM are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think cyber-C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. Think real-time. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "structuring" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! EETimes is the industry leader of transparent experiences. If you visualize virtually, you may have to facilitate magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "long-term accounting" really mean? The bloatware factor is mission-critical. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? The power to engineer proactively leads to the capability to aggregate perfectly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack super-accounting management. We will rev up our power to visualize without reducing our power to matrix. Without media sourcing, you will lack super-co-branded, e-business structuring. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. If you matrix strategically, you may have to disintermediate super-proactively. EETimes is the industry leader of extensible models. We will add to our ability to extend without lessening our capacity to optimize. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be backward-compatible? Think cross-media. We believe we know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also implement robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Without well-planned ultra-user-defined, proactive holistic, strategic seamless obfuscation reports, platforms are forced to become client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? We believe we know that if you seize macro-holistically then you may also monetize perfectly. At EETimes, we have come to know how to generate nano-perfectly. We will engage the power of solutions to target. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for managing unplanned-for relationships? Think nano-B2B. The frictionless re-sizing factor is mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Java. We will seize the power of angel investors to synergize. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: global, customer-directed, robust. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will maximize the capability of integrated research and development to incentivize.