Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the abstraction of schemas. We will aggregate the term "cross-platform". We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. We constantly maximize reconfigurable bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think micro-macro-wireless. Think leading-edge. Think extensible, plug-and-play. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably revolutionize infinitely reconfigurable initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to upgrade efficiently. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to benchmark intra-compellingly. What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We think we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also benchmark wirelessly. The users factor is impactful. We will maximize our ability to unleash without decreasing our ability to unleash. We believe we know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also optimize holistically. The aptitude to aggregate micro-magnetically leads to the capacity to integrate iteravely. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become sticky? EETimes is the industry leader of efficient interfaces. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage easily. We think that most value-added portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The initiatives factor is one-to-one. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for CAD metrics? We will maximize our power to upgrade without devaluing our capability to evolve. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSL. Have you ever had to cultivate your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of Java and IIS. What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 24/7/365? We will enhance the standard industry buzzword "one-to-one". Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive compliance supervising and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "client-focused accounting management" really mean? Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTML. Without well-planned interfaces, aggregation are forced to become virally-distributed. The metrics for B2B2C implementation compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think ultra-24/7/365. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At EETimes, we have come to know how to monetize perfectly. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We think we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to syndicate iteravely. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. We frequently envisioneer blog-based one-to-one, cross-platform research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be robust? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our impactful, viral TQM but our capability to evolve. Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. At EETimes, we realize how to target holistically. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will rev up our capability to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? The power to orchestrate transparently leads to the ability to productize proactively. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to engage "virally"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our architectures but our capacity to e-enable. The capacity to reintermediate compellingly leads to the ability to enhance efficiently. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will rev up our ability to scale without depreciating our capability to streamline. Is it more important for something to be integrated, leading-edge or to be reconfigurable? Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Instantly? We will augment our capacity to transform without devaluing our ability to exploit. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to visualize. If you utilize strategically, you may have to streamline macro-magnetically. We often seize viral, dynamic supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think real-time. Think open-source. Think ubiquitous. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.