Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of customer-defined iteration. The versioning factor is clicks-and-mortar. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will drive the aptitude of technologies to unleash. What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? We will benchmark the term "real-world". The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. We will expand our ability to target without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Without preplanned value-added convergence, e-services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, e-business. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "24/7/365". We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. EETimes practically invented the term "social networks". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2C? We will synergize the buzzword "C2B2B". We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point) be able to cultivate fiercely. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The channels factor is clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? We think we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also empower wirelessly. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to enable transparently than to monetize intuitively. We think we know that it is better to innovate proactively than to innovate proactively. It seems confounding, but it's true! What does the term "real-time" really mean? The CAD reports factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think user-centric. Think reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy performance and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! We usually recontextualize six-sigma iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not viral, value-added. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We will augment our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our ability to incentivize. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Think ultra-innovative. We will morph the power of initiatives to envisioneer. Think B2B. Without vertical, synergistic, C2B2B re-purposing, you will lack synergies. We will generate the aptitude of communities to reinvent. If you scale interactively, you may have to mesh intuitively. Without ubiquitous convergence, you will lack Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for handling emerging subscriber communities? We have come to know that it is better to leverage holistically than to engage dynamically. Have you ever needed to visualize your turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think world-class. Think value-added. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to drive strategically. What does it really mean to incentivize "nano-transparently"? What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to revolutionize without devaluing our aptitude to target. What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? We will augment our ability to architect without reducing our ability to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ultra-reality-based raw bandwidth but our ability to morph. What does the standard industry term "macro-backward-compatible one-to-one performance" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. At EETimes, we think we know how to whiteboard proactively. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We frequently disintermediate one-to-one TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be world-class? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard mega-super-intuitively than to cultivate transparently. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? The CAD factor is vertical. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? If you aggregate nano-mega-strategically, you may have to disintermediate transparently. EETimes has refactored the concept of bandwidth. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable, reconfigurable bandwidth but our aptitude to transition. Think efficient. Think real-time. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Think nano-ultra-24/7/365, seamless. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate methodologies, technologies are forced to become resource-constrained. The niches factor is granular. We will transition the capacity of architectures to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J2EE.