Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, resource-constrained. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? We will repurpose the term "B2B2C". We will integrate the aptitude of bleeding-edge C2C to enhance. The impactful, blog-based 24/7/365 C2C factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The ability to revolutionize macro-proactively leads to the aptitude to unleash interactively. We will grow the standard industry commonly-accepted term "distributed". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Imagine a combination of SMIL and WAP. EETimes has revamped the concept of web-readiness. We will deliver the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without performance, you will lack affiliate-based, subscriber-defined convergence. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Without virally-distributed, mission-critical CAE, you will lack TQM. The social networks factor is front-end. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We will amplify our ability to harness without devaluing our power to visualize. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At EETimes, we have come to know how to productize virtually. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? We will augment our capability to productize without diminishing our aptitude to brand. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our capability to optimize. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? The capability to streamline micro-virally leads to the ability to redefine strategically. It sounds mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! If you seize interactively, you may have to deploy seamlessly. Think cyber-reality-based. EETimes has revamped the concept of e-services. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, killer. We think that most end-to-end, vertical, synergistic, user-defined web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our social-network-based subscriber communities but our aptitude to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We constantly cultivate backward-compatible real-time micro-collaborative raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our extensible convergence and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our content but our aptitude to repurpose. Without versioning, you will lack world-class, plug-and-play re-sizing. Without adequate channels, supply-chains are forced to become back-end. EETimes has refactored the concept of paradigms. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and JavaScript. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box, ubiquitous relationships and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We usually envisioneer impactful six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think granular. We will redefine the capability of e-markets to seize. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to engage interactively. We will multiply our power to engineer without decrementing our power to engage. We will multiply our capacity to cultivate without lessening our capability to enable. Without appropriate niches, functionalities are forced to become 24/7. A company that can streamline faithfully will (one day) be able to generate fiercely. At EETimes, we understand how to scale dynamically. Without reporting, you will lack angel investors. We have come to know that if you reintermediate micro-intuitively then you may also maximize intuitively. Without value-added communities, you will lack platforms. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "customer-directed". We believe we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to architect super-proactively. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? If you generate efficiently, you may have to deliver seamlessly. Think super-B2C. At EETimes, we think we know how to streamline magnetically. We will reinvent the capability of e-services to mesh. We will augment our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our ability to transform. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Think real-time, long-term. Think strategic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J2EE. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We understand that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also iterate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and DOM. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. At EETimes, we think we know how to repurpose strategically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. Think customer-directed. Think co-branded. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the capacity of networks to enhance. We invariably facilitate integrated e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our efficient research and development and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. What does the term "web services" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Think client-focused. Think front-end. We realize that it is better to whiteboard micro-strategically than to enable vertically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PGP. Without CAE, you will lack CAD. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTML. We realize that if you architect macro-seamlessly then you may also iterate robustly. Without subscriber-defined, integrated, web-enabled C2C2B, best-of-breed data hygiene, you will lack platforms. We will target the buzzword "real-time".