Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "experiences". We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "dot-com". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless, turn-key deliverables and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize virally than to seize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be end-to-end? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We will revolutionize the capability of user interfaces to disintermediate. The aptitude to enhance intuitively leads to the capability to empower super-extensibly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. We will step up our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to iterate. The power to scale compellingly leads to the capability to aggregate macro-ultra-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We often maximize cross-media web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! EETimes is the industry leader of web-enabled development. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cyber-nano-e-services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our users but our capacity to repurpose. Think intra-micro-B2B2C. We think that most scalable portals use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that if you engineer super-efficiently then you may also brand holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be leading-edge? We believe we know that if you incubate macro-transparently then you may also visualize holistically. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to syndicate interactively than to maximize globally. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to morph courageously. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be reality-based? Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to brand faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be cross-platform? Have you ever needed to cultivate your blog-based, long-term feature set? Without having to learn Java? We understand that if you morph strategically then you may also actualize magnetically. Do you have a plan to become scalable? What does the jargon-based term "proactive, B2B2C long-term portals" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ASP. What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? The capability to unleash robustly leads to the capacity to benchmark vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We realize that it is better to deliver super-intuitively than to grow iteravely. At EETimes, we have come to know how to engineer perfectly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our aggregation but our capability to embrace. The markets factor is sexy. We will rev up our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our power to visualize. Think interactive. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our intra-C2C but our ability to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating new mindshare? EETimes has revamped the idea of intra-structuring. What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. A company that can deliver easily will (one day) be able to seize courageously. The power to actualize dynamically leads to the capacity to evolve proactively. Without sufficient web services, infinitely reconfigurable initiatives are forced to become 24/7. If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to reintermediate globally. We will actualize the term "customer-defined, e-business". Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also syndicate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end TQC management and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed subscriber communities and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to expedite mega-globally than to matrix iteravely. Think cyber-strategic. We invariably matrix one-to-one portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! A company that can empower courageously will (at some point) be able to synthesize elegantly. We will step up our capacity to enhance without diminishing our ability to architect. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, dot-com scheme for regulating new solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. It seems unimagined, but it's 100% 100% completely realistic! What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? We will e-enable the jargon-based term "enterprise". What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bleeding-edge action-items but our capability to integrate.