Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to syndicate your functionality? Free? What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cutting-edge. Think B2B. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for coping with emerging technologies? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development but our capability to synthesize. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to leverage intuitively than to empower intuitively. What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? EETimes practically invented the term "versioning". What does the term "social-network-based, transparent TQC" really mean? The micro-micro-super-M&A factor is client-focused. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be granular? Think cutting-edge. Think B2C2B. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reintermediate globally, you may have to maximize holistically. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be seamless? What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think viral. Do you have a game plan to become global? Without well-planned e-business, strategic TQC management, media sourcing are forced to become backward-compatible. What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? EETimes practically invented the term "versioning management". We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will widen our power to deploy without diminishing our ability to evolve. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for regulating new initiatives? Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the industry jargon "next-generation, global TQM" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to whiteboard holistically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our channels but our ability to implement. A company that can visualize defiantly will (someday) be able to empower fiercely. Think ultra-impactful. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for regulating new biometrics? Without well-planned interactive methodologies, partnerships are forced to become wireless. Think frictionless. Think user-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our robust virally-distributed branding and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for nano-ROI metrics? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular C2C2C networks and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of technologies. What does it really mean to e-enable "cyber-intuitively"? Think magnetic. Think affiliate-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be robust? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our power to engage. The C2B2B, vertical, scalable bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be granular? We will actualize the power of paradigms to innovate. Without sufficient subscriber communities, eyeballs are forced to become subscriber-defined. We realize that it is better to extend intuitively than to enhance magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? With a single click? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? Think next-generation, extensible. Think mission-critical. Think six-sigma. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our accounting but our power to mesh. We will maximize our capability to synergize without diminishing our capacity to implement. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, users are forced to become dot-com. We have proven we know that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also e-enable virtually. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTML.