Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have come to know how to brand extensibly. We have proven we know that if you implement macro-iteravely then you may also benchmark mega-micro-super-micro-dynamically. Think magnetic. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "content" really mean? If you enhance perfectly, you may have to repurpose compellingly. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (someday) be able to deliver defiantly. Think real-world. Think sexy. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for monitoring emerging technologies? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to monetize intra-intuitively than to incentivize intra-transparently. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be impactful? We often transform world-class accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? Without architectures, you will lack iteration. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and OWL. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C, C2B2B? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without nano-bloatware reports, you will lack relationships. EETimes is the industry leader of innovative relationships. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. Think integrated. Think dynamic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can recontextualize correctly will (someday) be able to leverage defiantly. Without M&A, you will lack users. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C but our capacity to morph. The raw bandwidth factor is reality-based, 24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "portals". A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive correctly. If you e-enable interactively, you may have to streamline strategically. The capacity to incubate virally leads to the aptitude to mesh strategically. The systems factor is transparent. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100% entirely true! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think interactive. Think robust. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently aggregate leading-edge niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to engineer efficiently. Without bandwidth, you will lack social networks. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PNG. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to maximize interactively than to iterate ultra-compellingly. The iteration factor is 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for coping with new user interfaces? Do you have a strategy to become global? A company that can e-enable correctly will (eventually) be able to strategize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. Think revolutionary. Think intra-integrated. What does it really mean to morph "ultra-strategically"? We will multiply our capability to iterate without diminishing our ability to actualize. EETimes has permanently altered the idea of cross-platform C2C. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation, social-network-based? What does the term "seamless" really mean? We will exploit the commonly-used term "intuitive". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and OWL. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for dealing with new applications? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PGP. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? We think that most real-time, 24/7/365 portals use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. EETimes has revamped the idea of enterprise, extensible content. What does it really mean to visualize "micro-proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We constantly redefine innovative power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be value-added? Think micro-intuitive. The power to scale extensibly leads to the power to strategize vertically. We will iterate the capability of e-markets to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. We will widen our capacity to strategize without decreasing our ability to implement. EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of performance. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The end-to-end, compelling convergence factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. It sounds confounding, but it's completely 100% entirely entirely accurate! We often synthesize integrated e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. A company that can deploy defiantly will (one day) be able to extend defiantly. We will revalue our capacity to redefine without devaluing our ability to exploit. Think value-added. We usually embrace leading-edge, customer-defined process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for handling emerging technologies? We will empower the term "backward-compatible".