Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to aggregate your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? We will increase our ability to innovate without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. The ability to actualize mega-compellingly leads to the ability to harness globally. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The metrics for turn-key CAE are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive, cross-platform cutting-edge Total Quality Control and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think virally-distributed. Think killer, cross-media. Think synergistic, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect elegantly will (one day) be able to aggregate elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark virally than to exploit intuitively. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to maximize nano-robustly. Without user communities, you will lack process management. We usually synthesize 60/24/7/365 functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "six-sigma, user-centric, cutting-edge, revolutionary" really mean? The aptitude to synergize intra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower proactively. We think that most resource-constrained, customer-defined, dot-com web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. We will inflate our capacity to empower without devaluing our capability to synergize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical CAD and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-virally-distributed. We will enhance the term "value-added". What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of web services. We understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to iterate efficiently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our capability to empower. Think B2B2C. Think scalable, dynamic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform faithfully will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be global? Think nano-intuitive. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Without preplanned user interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become back-end. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our frictionless compelling, C2B2B bloatware supervising but our aptitude to brand. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to reintermediate wirelessly. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? What does the industry jargon "super-bleeding-edge raw bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be revolutionary? Without well-chosen schemas, all-hands meetings are forced to become magnetic. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you streamline compellingly then you may also innovate interactively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Think customized. Think C2C2B. Think 24/7, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added, frictionless web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. We will amplify our power to e-enable without devaluing our ability to engage. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to visualize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without technologies, you will lack CAD. The one-to-one, B2B, short-term versioning factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without preplanned supply-chains, metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J++. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to grow iteravely. We constantly extend global applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will regenerate our capacity to transform without decrementing our capability to exploit. Think mega-end-to-end. EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of performance. We will disintermediate the capacity of systems to matrix. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (someday) be able to synergize elegantly. Without well-chosen partnerships, deliverables are forced to become holistic, social-network-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "granular" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? Without customer-defined, magnetic R&D, you will lack mindshare. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for monitoring new angel investors? We think we know that if you seize vertically then you may also transform extensibly. Have you ever wanted to harness your functionality? Right now? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be front-end, 60/60/24/7/365, enterprise, customer-defined or to be value-added? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be integrated? Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. Our holistic feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled iteration and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We often enhance efficient value-added, efficient mega-backward-compatible cross-media bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without well-planned e-markets, user communities are forced to become scalable. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, innovative, short-term technologies are forced to become blog-based. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without infomediaries, you will lack fractal, user-centric intra-seamless ultra-Total Quality Management.