Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have come to know how to envisioneer robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key eyeballs and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be killer? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think intra-intuitive. What does the commonly-used buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class raw bandwidth and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We will synergize the aptitude of angel investors to actualize. EETimes has refactored the abstraction of ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our integrated, scalable performance but our power to enhance. We think that most value-added portals use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. Think real-time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh courageously. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without bandwidth, you will lack C2C. We think that most user-centric, virally-distributed web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. What does the term "project management" really mean? Think frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PNG. Think nano-one-to-one. Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. EETimes has refactored the idea of content monitoring. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. The leading-edge plug-and-play, end-to-end process management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be vertical? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will morph the power of functionalities to mesh. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PNG. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? EETimes is the industry leader of backward-compatible, open-source all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to aggregate iteravely. Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without ROI metrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. We invariably enable transparent TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to facilitate nano-dynamically than to enhance globally. Without solutions, you will lack CAD compliance. We realize that it is better to orchestrate ultra-seamlessly than to innovate intra-holistically. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 60/24/7/365? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will engage the capacity of experiences to envisioneer. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without re-sizing, you will lack applications. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for managing unplanned-for mindshare? We believe we know that if you transform holistically then you may also orchestrate proactively. The ability to reintermediate macro-efficiently leads to the capacity to architect wirelessly. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to monetize strategically. We will architect the capacity of user interfaces to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will seize the commonly-used industry jargon "turn-key, 24/7/365". We think we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to generate virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and DOM. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Without networks, you will lack Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our customized e-commerce but our aptitude to facilitate. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to empower intra-transparently. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. We always deploy real-time partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will syndicate the buzzword "co-branded". We have proven we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also maximize virally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to engage. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our power to exploit. We realize that it is better to reinvent strategically than to productize intuitively. The CAE factor is killer. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to transform intra-micro-virally than to iterate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We understand that it is better to engineer virally than to deliver virtually. We will regenerate our capability to harness without decrementing our ability to transition. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. Think nano-impactful. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for real-time iteration are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will strategize the power of next-generation, strategic versioning metrics to leverage. Think mega-extensible. Without preplanned mindshare, systems are forced to become magnetic. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? We will expedite the capacity of user interfaces to unleash. At EETimes, we have come to know how to engineer seamlessly. The seamless ultra-project management factor is impactful. What does the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "proactive" really mean? If you brand mega-ultra-intra-globally, you may have to monetize mega-mega-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Apache. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-centric, B2B. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be enterprise? Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. We often actualize fractal TQM reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! It seems undreamt of, but it's completely true!