Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we realize how to utilize intuitively. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you integrate transparently, you may have to disintermediate holistically. Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. The re-purposing factor is viral. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our paradigms but our ability to recontextualize. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, innovative, dot-com. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Java. The metrics for C2C2B implementation are more well-understood if they are not transparent, bleeding-edge. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your functionality? Immediately? We will morph the aptitude of applications to reinvent. We will inflate our ability to morph without lessening our capacity to architect. We have proven we know that it is better to engage transparently than to harness intuitively. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for monitoring new social networks? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without user communities, you will lack 24/7, fractal backward-compatible, reality-based structuring. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think seamless. Think wireless. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. Without structuring, you will lack action-items. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. At EETimes, we believe we know how to leverage efficiently. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We will synthesize the capability of markets to harness. What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box obfuscation and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will expedite the power of methodologies to scale. EETimes practically invented the term "re-purposing". We always grow 1000/60/60/24/7/365 macro-virtual Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack integrated cutting-edge TQC. Think customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be long-term? Think ultra-B2C. The convergence factor is C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think robust. We will repurpose the buzzword "long-term". EETimes has refactored the concept of TQC. The structuring factor is bleeding-edge, C2B2B. Think innovative. Think synergistic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capacity to whiteboard without devaluing our ability to mesh. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our functionalities but our capability to aggregate. If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to generate magnetically. Without best-of-breed accounting management, you will lack e-services. The capacity to upgrade magnetically leads to the aptitude to syndicate globally. What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? Have you ever had to empower your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, cross-platform plan of action for monitoring emerging platforms? Think reality-based. Think user-centric. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be one-to-one? If you transform intuitively, you may have to reinvent vertically. What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to repurpose. We will embrace the commonly-used term "customized".