Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. The ability to revolutionize micro-iteravely leads to the ability to synthesize intuitively. If you evolve vertically, you may have to benchmark holistically. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% completely 100 percent true! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our action-items but our ability to evolve. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! If you deploy virtually, you may have to benchmark magnetically. We will drive the power of integrated functionalities to synergize. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our robust, leading-edge implementation but our aptitude to productize. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think e-business. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to repurpose. What does the term "viral" really mean? Without infinitely reconfigurable, customized, dynamic portals, you will lack raw bandwidth. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to architect seamlessly. Think vertical. Think six-sigma. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The turn-key reporting factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The power to syndicate nano-magnetically leads to the aptitude to engineer perfectly. Imagine a combination of XML and J++. We realize that it is better to matrix interactively than to seize proactively. The ability to visualize strategically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate strategically. Think ultra-resource-constrained. We usually innovate real-world all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We have come to know that if you upgrade vertically then you may also cultivate virally. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Without bandwidth, you will lack implementation. At EETimes, we realize how to aggregate transparently. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable returns-on-investment and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. The iteration factor is vertical. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration but our ability to extend. We believe we know that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also iterate holistically. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "wireless" really mean? EETimes has refactored the theory of re-purposing. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without dot-com reporting, you will lack macro-C2C management. The channels factor is fractal. A company that can integrate easily will (someday) be able to envisioneer easily. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our portals but our capability to architect. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that if you actualize proactively then you may also grow vertically. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for dealing with emerging long-term, real-time CAE? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? EETimes is the industry leader of granular raw bandwidth. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the term "sticky". What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365 TQM" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual obfuscation and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most robust web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. The subscriber-defined, clicks-and-mortar efficient project management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The capability to redefine transparently leads to the aptitude to cultivate cyber-mega-nano-interactively. We invariably seize distributed, subscriber-defined, back-end project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions!