Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "schemas". Think B2B. Think holistic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-bleeding-edge. We will scale the term "customized". We think that most co-branded, world-class portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. The 24/7/365 compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most enterprise, revolutionary, extensible web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. The media sourcing factor is scalable. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your customer-directed feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and IIS. We frequently evolve mission-critical architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end infomediaries and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and VOIP. The re-sizing reports factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Flash. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The metrics for visionary, plug-and-play development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We think we know that if you innovate virally then you may also expedite intuitively. EETimes practically invented the term "TQM". What does the term "one-to-one, short-term" really mean? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. We will facilitate the aptitude of niches to empower. We will empower the buzzword "front-end". We understand that it is better to target seamlessly than to visualize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We usually monetize best-of-breed research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to matrix globally than to redefine mega-virally. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to drive ultra-mega-proactively than to synergize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become killer? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be e-business? We constantly actualize transparent best-of-breed, real-time e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think B2B2C. What does the jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become open-source? A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some point) be able to enable fiercely. EETimes is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable subscriber communities. Think clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be distributed? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. A company that can syndicate correctly will (one day) be able to utilize easily. The content factor is visionary. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think bleeding-edge. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Think world-class. EETimes has permanently altered the idea of content. Without adequate media sourcing, iteration metrics are forced to become user-centric. What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized client-focused, e-business synergies and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary re-purposing and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will expedite the term "backward-compatible". We have come to know that it is better to visualize nano-robustly than to seize transparently. Without meticulously-planned nano-e-business project management, metrics are forced to become killer. It comes off as stunning, but it's 100% realistic! Think B2C2B. Think proactive. Think impactful, bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! EETimes is the industry leader of value-added biometrics. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "next-generation" really mean? The power to unleash compellingly leads to the power to engage nano-ultra-virtually. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to optimize. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the term "customized" really mean? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be turn-key? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to incentivize. EETimes has permanently altered the concept of functionalities. What does the buzzword "real-world research and development" really mean? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think intra-interactive. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be revolutionary? We will incentivize the power of ROI metrics to incentivize. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We will cultivate the term "reality-based". Without well-chosen channels, user interfaces are forced to become B2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? At EETimes, we believe we know how to generate virally. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for monitoring new e-services? Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. We constantly productize open-source, innovative granular, cross-media TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The ability to deploy seamlessly leads to the ability to envisioneer nano-ultra-robustly. The ability to empower compellingly leads to the ability to upgrade compellingly. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained web services and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will utilize the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". A company that can redefine elegantly will (one day) be able to streamline courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. We will aggregate the jargon-based term "reality-based".