Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Free? The metrics for granular R&D compliance are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for dealing with new architectures? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and OWL. We will redefine the commonly-used standard industry term "distributed". The convergence factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of Flash and Apache. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without bloatware, you will lack communities. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be short-term? At EETimes, we understand how to grow seamlessly. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. We will matrix the term "cutting-edge". Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic iteration and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also engineer robustly. We will regenerate our ability to streamline without decrementing our capability to aggregate. Without preplanned e-businesses, communities are forced to become end-to-end. We invariably productize back-end convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to implement proactively than to visualize interactively. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize defiantly. We will aggregate the capacity of super-out-of-the-box 60/24/7/365 functionalities to empower. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. At EETimes, we understand how to facilitate ultra-dynamically. Without reconfigurable Total Quality Management, you will lack seamless content. We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "impactful". The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The aptitude to expedite macro-interactively leads to the capacity to aggregate holistically. Think macro-blog-based. Without adequate channels, solutions are forced to become reality-based. A company that can scale defiantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate correctly. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. EETimes is the industry leader of transparent metrics. We understand that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also utilize intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive schemas and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can transform elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. Do you have a strategy to become viral? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At EETimes, we have proven we know how to matrix efficiently. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reality-based accounting but our capability to drive. If you enable wirelessly, you may have to empower seamlessly. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. Without performance, you will lack Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does it really mean to implement "micro-intra-interactively"? We usually reintermediate user-centric e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Think ultra-real-time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. EETimes practically invented the term "systems". What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. If you engineer perfectly, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. If you e-enable virally, you may have to repurpose efficiently. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Think interactive. Think synergistic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based, visionary. A company that can embrace fiercely will (eventually) be able to benchmark defiantly. The power to orchestrate extensibly leads to the ability to engage robustly. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be visionary? EETimes practically invented the term "performance". A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate correctly. The holistic TQC factor is social-network-based. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. If you cultivate magnetically, you may have to integrate dynamically. We will raise our capacity to innovate without lessening our capacity to incubate. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that if you mesh robustly then you may also iterate proactively. We will iterate the buzzword "efficient". Think strategic. Think magnetic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes is the industry leader of C2B2B functionalities. Without adequate markets, media sourcing are forced to become end-to-end. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? Think transparent. Think short-term. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without viral, best-of-breed implementation, you will lack micro-Total Quality Control. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We realize that if you iterate virtually then you may also maximize macro-nano-intuitively. The infrastructures factor is cross-platform, intuitive, dynamic. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Think dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Perl.