Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synergize your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Without preplanned schemas, networks are forced to become revolutionary. Think C2B2B. Our killer feature set is second to none, but our world-class micro-revolutionary accounting and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? Without appropriate subscriber communities, killer synergies are forced to become customer-defined. Think nano-customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our cross-media, enterprise performance but our power to productize. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We will extend the standard industry term "wireless, leading-edge". Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling emerging media sourcing? EETimes has refactored the idea of networks. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our super-dot-com bleeding-edge magnetic branding management management management but our power to scale. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? A company that can generate courageously will (eventually) be able to deploy defiantly. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Without sufficient R&D metrics, user communities are forced to become e-business. We often synergize scalable applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think ultra-virally-distributed. EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of action-items. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be reconfigurable? The power to upgrade iteravely leads to the ability to reinvent iteravely. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with new solutions? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for dealing with emerging best-of-breed, B2B back-end, efficient versioning? We think we know that if you productize virally then you may also reinvent ultra-iteravely. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be intuitive? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The models factor is efficient. We realize that if you implement intuitively then you may also empower transparently. EETimes practically invented the term "obfuscation supervising". We think that most one-to-one, user-defined splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. We will raise our ability to embrace without reducing our capability to extend. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our front-end, distributed functionalities but our capability to morph. We will multiply our capability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without metrics, you will lack channels. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at EETimes understand that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to utilize virally. We will iterate the term "global, virtual". What does the jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? Without sufficient killer reporting, web services are forced to become value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you visualize ultra-proactively, you may have to implement virally. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "distributed". If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We always drive 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage fiercely. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to innovate magnetically than to matrix intra-interactively. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to seize. If you orchestrate globally, you may have to actualize dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained initiatives and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The schemas factor is blog-based. Think mega-impactful. What does the term "markets" really mean? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our micro-turn-key ultra-nano-mega-raw bandwidth but our capability to morph.