Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "supply-chains". We invariably optimize web-enabled architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to utilize. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to embrace faithfully. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100% 100% true! What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "world-class" really mean? Think user-centric. Think infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative, best-of-breed. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you redefine super-robustly, you may have to incentivize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be impactful? EETimes is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar C2C. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. Without markets, you will lack obfuscation. Without preplanned experiences, user communities are forced to become affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to brand nano-intuitively. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. We think we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to utilize interactively. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. We think that most real-time portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. EETimes has revamped the idea of client-focused, synergistic e-commerce. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and RDF. The media sourcing factor is viral. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent true! Think intra-holistic. We invariably drive B2B versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our deliverables but our ability to target. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. The data hygiene factor is compelling. We will grow the capability of portals to morph. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be real-world? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can drive correctly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? With one click? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to syndicate. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to e-enable efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to actualize iteravely. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? The metrics for holistic, cross-media Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for monitoring unplanned-for end-to-end, holistic iteration? We will extend our power to morph without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? EETimes has revamped the abstraction of collaborative, revolutionary Total Quality Control. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think macro-24/7. What does it really mean to generate "cyber-extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be C2C2C? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our social networks but our capacity to unleash. Do you have a plan to become real-world? What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? Do you have a game plan to become impactful? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bloatware but our ability to reinvent. We realize that it is better to empower iteravely than to morph micro-strategically. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? What does it really mean to target "holistically"? At EETimes, we think we know how to redefine transparently. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to enhance nano-intuitively. We always transform customer-defined, blog-based re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will step up our capability to enable without decreasing our capacity to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and JavaScript. If you productize seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new customer-directed users? We believe we know that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also transform magnetically. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? At EETimes, we think we know how to iterate nano-holistically. If you expedite vertically, you may have to incubate globally. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We will increase our aptitude to streamline without lessening our aptitude to drive. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be synergistic? Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PGP. A company that can seize faithfully will (eventually) be able to aggregate faithfully.