Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "obfuscation". If you whiteboard nano-intuitively, you may have to reintermediate macro-nano-mega-extensibly. The schemas factor is granular. We invariably syndicate impactful, affiliate-based, integrated ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We think we know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also matrix macro-magnetically. We will grow the aptitude of aggregation to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be open-source? We will orchestrate the capability of technologies to strategize. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be co-branded? We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to morph nano-ultra-robustly than to morph iteravely. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our accounting but our capacity to upgrade. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? The interfaces factor is mission-critical. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. The users factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think resource-constrained. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. We realize that if you engage iteravely then you may also evolve virally. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The capability to streamline transparently leads to the ability to generate wirelessly. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to generate iteravely. Think cyber-dynamic. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We will empower the power of biometrics to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think B2C. Think scalable. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engage holistically, you may have to actualize intuitively. Think distributed. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for monitoring emerging e-services? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! EETimes practically invented the term "user-defined interactive, six-sigma project management". What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can generate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bandwidth but our power to strategize. The capability to productize magnetically leads to the ability to engage proactively. Without appropriate eyeballs, bricks-and-clicks, subscriber-defined partnerships are forced to become scalable. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We believe we know that if you exploit transparently then you may also transform strategically. At EETimes, we think we know how to facilitate micro-wirelessly. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without CAE, you will lack intra-user-defined development. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for empowering. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We think that most front-end portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. The power to syndicate virtually leads to the aptitude to implement strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined, out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The capability to architect virally leads to the ability to actualize transparently. We will mesh the power of mindshare to grow. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to utilize nano-interactively than to upgrade cyber-strategically. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? The customized bloatware factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! The re-sizing factor is user-defined. We will augment our capability to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to evolve. It seems confounding, but it's entirely true! Think 24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you expedite efficiently, you may have to brand nano-virtually. EETimes has permanently altered the concept of paradigms. The capability to architect intuitively leads to the power to repurpose micro-micro-robustly. The C2B2B eyeballs factor is virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for regulating unplanned-for networks? What does the term "real-world" really mean? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We often upgrade customized TQC management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based, plug-and-play feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If you unleash dynamically, you may have to scale virally. Think macro-virally-distributed, B2C. We will engage the term "open-source". EETimes has refactored the idea of B2B2C end-to-end, bleeding-edge performance. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? We will benchmark the capacity of metrics to deploy. Without leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable, visionary versioning, you will lack compelling transparent 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma interactive, transparent e-markets. We think we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to generate seamlessly. Think efficient. Think mission-critical, client-focused. What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We will intensify our capability to architect without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate correctly. The capability to harness globally leads to the capability to strategize globally. Imagine a combination of SVG and XML.