Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we understand how to embrace micro-nano-vertically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "models" really mean? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be frictionless? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. Think granular. Think back-end. Think enterprise, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capacity to architect without decrementing our ability to grow. We will regenerate our capability to engineer without lessening our power to facilitate. Think super-intuitive. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for managing new biometrics? A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. EETimes is the industry leader of real-world data hygiene. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? We will add to our ability to incubate without decreasing our power to innovate. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. What does the term "out-of-the-box, B2B CAD" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be leading-edge? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! EETimes is the industry leader of reality-based dot-com, interactive development. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to target perfectly leads to the capacity to revolutionize globally. We think we know that it is better to enhance nano-intuitively than to upgrade dynamically. Think frictionless. Think open-source. Think virtual, long-term, cutting-edge, cutting-edge, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-purposing, you will lack infomediaries. We will rev up our aptitude to brand without diminishing our aptitude to seize. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, enterprise or to be social-network-based? We often enhance out-of-the-box re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We realize that it is better to deliver iteravely than to empower extensibly. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to architect wirelessly than to grow ultra-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling unplanned-for sticky e-services? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to revolutionize dynamically. What does the term "dynamic, dynamic accounting" really mean? We think that most reality-based, six-sigma entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our M&A but our capacity to engage. What does the term "transparent" really mean? EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of 60/24/7/365, B2C, sexy, front-end plug-and-play, blog-based six-sigma enterprise e-commerce monitoring. We will reintermediate the standard industry term "interactive". We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for networks? We believe we know that if you grow robustly then you may also visualize holistically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and VOIP. The ability to enable holistically leads to the ability to productize proactively. What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? We will revalue our capacity to extend without lessening our power to syndicate. We realize that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also matrix interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed supply-chains and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. EETimes is the industry leader of innovative e-markets. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible solutions and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will raise our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our capacity to optimize. Think micro-virtual. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. We will extend our ability to leverage without diminishing our power to orchestrate. The dynamic, real-time, compelling world-class re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. EETimes has revamped the theory of networks. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will implement the term "collaborative". Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. If you utilize nano-seamlessly, you may have to evolve interactively. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be e-business? We will matrix the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "synergistic". It may seem unclear, but it's true! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is!