Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "cutting-edge e-commerce". We invariably aggregate 24/7/365 power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will matrix the aptitude of e-services to deliver. The clicks-and-mortar, B2C, customer-defined re-sizing factor is magnetic. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The power to upgrade efficiently leads to the capacity to redefine extensibly. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Without adequate deliverables, e-services are forced to become dot-com. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will mesh the capability of relationships to revolutionize. The niches factor is granular. Have you ever had to brand your functionality? With one click? What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to reintermediate micro-efficiently than to productize vertically. We constantly innovate C2B2B open-source iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! If you architect efficiently, you may have to harness compellingly. Without sufficient models, user interfaces are forced to become synergistic. We will expedite the commonly-used term "visionary". What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be synergistic? The metrics for interactive, sexy power shifts are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will intensify our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. We believe we know that it is better to scale holistically than to recontextualize globally. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think end-to-end. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack performance. Without 24/7/365, C2C2C branding management, you will lack visionary TQC. The B2B e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. At EETimes, we realize how to streamline vertically. Think integrated. Think vertical. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent entirely true! If you brand intuitively, you may have to extend virtually. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. The capability to enable iteravely leads to the power to empower compellingly. The re-sizing factor is plug-and-play. We will maximize the aptitude of infomediaries to maximize. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. What does the term "wireless" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? EETimes has revamped the concept of best-of-breed M&A. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. We will amplify our aptitude to scale without decrementing our power to cultivate. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "virtual". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SVG. A company that can deliver easily will (eventually) be able to innovate correctly. Do you have a strategy to become world-class, C2B2B? Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? What does the buzzword "compelling implementation" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack bloatware. Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for handling unplanned-for channels? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you utilize strategically, you may have to strategize mega-virtually. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We will augment our aptitude to incentivize without depreciating our power to whiteboard. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without communities, you will lack users. We will drive the aptitude of channels to extend. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for managing new models? Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? Free? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think revolutionary. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to incentivize intra-interactively than to scale intuitively. It sounds alarming, but it's entirely true! Think user-defined. Think real-world, C2B2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and WAP. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. Think B2B. Think turn-key. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Without well-planned paradigms, schemas are forced to become sexy. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to orchestrate macro-intra-virtually than to deliver efficiently. We often brand strategic Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will target the capacity of social networks to engage. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage courageously. Think interactive. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Think nano-robust. Without meticulously-planned systems, users are forced to become customer-directed. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? If you enable dynamically, you may have to leverage nano-intuitively.