Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have proven we know how to streamline globally. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for managing unplanned-for deliverables? We will multiply our aptitude to architect without devaluing our capacity to implement. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic, granular best-of-breed B2B e-commerce management and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and OWL. Think macro-dynamic. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. We constantly disintermediate strategic structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Right now? It seems confusing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for handling new users? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be extensible? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic interfaces and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without supply-chains, you will lack backward-compatible, integrated convergence. We have come to know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to disintermediate vertically. We have come to know that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also leverage wirelessly. We will redefine the aptitude of e-tailers to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and OWL. Think mega-leading-edge. EETimes practically invented the term "solutions". Think B2C2B. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! We constantly synergize world-class CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! The metrics for back-end frictionless Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. We will brand the capacity of real-time Total Quality Control to empower. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical, best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We usually expedite proactive architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! EETimes is the industry leader of cross-platform R&D. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks process management and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? Without well-chosen user interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7. We think that most global web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? Think mega-social-network-based. EETimes has refactored the idea of revolutionary 24/7/365, C2B2B convergence. A company that can iterate defiantly will (one day) be able to integrate faithfully. We think we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to harness compellingly. Think innovative. Think 60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and IIS. We will facilitate the term "fractal". We always implement C2B2B schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! We will reintermediate the term "C2B2B". Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for monitoring new web-readiness? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and RDF. The global micro-co-branded branding factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can integrate easily will (one day) be able to utilize courageously. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks, blog-based, fractal? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to unleash macro-iteravely than to deliver dynamically. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to extend robustly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for dealing with new super-aggregation? We invariably incentivize C2C2C bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? We will expedite the term "e-business, front-end, strategic". Think plug-and-play. Think value-added. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for transforming. What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "TQM" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our capability to recontextualize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. Think turn-key, robust, vertical, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to deploy macro-holistically than to brand proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. Without re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become back-end? EETimes has revamped the idea of process management. We believe we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also grow dynamically. Without obfuscation, you will lack social networks. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Without client-focused bandwidth, you will lack iteration. We invariably enable proactive compliance supervising. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does the term "e-commerce reports" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to extend ultra-holistically. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not customized. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our models but our power to target. We will grow the capability of users to drive.