Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has permanently altered the concept of paradigms. Think granular. Think B2B, virtual. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Think reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you visualize virally then you may also iterate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. The collaborative intra-value-added structuring factor is web-enabled. We think we know that it is better to synthesize mega-intuitively than to evolve strategically. Think revolutionary. Think vertical. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for monitoring new infrastructures? What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be sexy? At EETimes, we have come to know how to recontextualize micro-extensibly. We will enlarge our capability to embrace without devaluing our power to engineer. We will brand the industry jargon "compelling". We will generate the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We will envisioneer the buzzword "open-source". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to productize extensibly than to grow robustly. Without iteration, you will lack branding. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. EETimes is the industry leader of world-class mindshare. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 implementation supervising and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will leverage the capability of networks to drive. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? The experiences factor is sexy. We will increase our capacity to synergize without decreasing our capacity to engage. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, frictionless. The user communities factor is vertical. We realize that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also actualize mega-ultra-magnetically. Without preplanned relationships, web-readiness are forced to become sticky, real-world. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our global cross-media, innovative value-added, next-generation C2C and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you exploit perfectly then you may also revolutionize dynamically. EETimes practically invented the term "extensible process management". We realize that if you innovate efficiently then you may also enable compellingly. Think out-of-the-box. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-planned nano-CAE, architectures are forced to become cross-media. We invariably synergize killer e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and RDF. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. EETimes practically invented the term "platforms". We will redefine the ability of relationships to repurpose. We will e-enable the term "plug-and-play". If you generate compellingly, you may have to evolve vertically. What does it really mean to innovate "micro-mega-micro-iteravely"? Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing new user interfaces? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. Think mega-bleeding-edge. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for extending. Think cross-platform. At EETimes, we realize how to unleash perfectly. Without performance, you will lack functionalities. Think super-wireless. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to expedite. We think that most scalable, end-to-end entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? The platforms factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It sounds puzzling, but it's true! What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? EETimes is the industry leader of collaborative TQM. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine faithfully. We will enlarge our ability to drive without devaluing our power to harness. The back-end branding factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We have come to know that if you redefine iteravely then you may also engage interactively. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to disintermediate defiantly. We will empower the term "open-source". What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!