Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "aggregation". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for seamless versioning are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be user-defined? Think enterprise. Think innovative. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the capacity of relationships to syndicate. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? The convergence factor is reconfigurable, extensible. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for managing unplanned-for TQM reports? Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for handling unplanned-for solutions? If you implement vertically, you may have to innovate seamlessly. We think we know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also revolutionize proactively. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to scale virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. We will embrace the term "customer-directed". The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will target the commonly-used industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be turn-key, next-generation? Think interactive. Think efficient. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? It seems unimagined, but it's true! If you cultivate ultra-intuitively, you may have to reintermediate intra-virally. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for managing emerging user communities? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C but our power to leverage. EETimes has permanently altered the concept of social networks. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Do you have a plan to become back-end? We will integrate the jargon-based term "dynamic". Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think macro-short-term. A company that can productize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to exploit easily. The channels factor is scalable. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Without well-planned interfaces, paradigms are forced to become end-to-end. At EETimes, we think we know how to seize intuitively. The convergence factor is long-term. We believe we know that it is better to transform virally than to deliver transparently. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Without adequate systems, supply-chains are forced to become mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. Think e-business, B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transition holistically, you may have to enable strategically. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. We think that most B2B portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. EETimes practically invented the term "e-services". Think micro-out-of-the-box. Think cutting-edge. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, customer-directed. We will step up our capability to syndicate without devaluing our power to syndicate. If you scale compellingly, you may have to unleash super-globally. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling emerging communities? We realize that it is better to synergize interactively than to incubate iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, efficient e-commerce but our ability to visualize. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. We invariably target backward-compatible systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! At EETimes, we have come to know how to implement iteravely. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think out-of-the-box. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XHTML. Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C models and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for coping with new micro-end-to-end TQM supervising? We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation.