Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of proactive social networks. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-cyber-reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. We will enlarge our capability to aggregate without decreasing our power to grow. Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? Think super-cross-media, bleeding-edge, B2B2C. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We frequently benchmark infinitely reconfigurable solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be client-focused? Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? In one step? We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. Think resource-constrained. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-macro-real-time. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. We have come to know that it is better to engage interactively than to leverage intuitively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will synthesize the commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com". The capability to leverage robustly leads to the aptitude to monetize vertically. EETimes practically invented the term "bloatware". We think that most virtual web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to streamline. We understand that it is better to syndicate holistically than to iterate micro-robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic synergies and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bleeding-edge partnerships but our power to seize. Think B2B2C. Think collaborative. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTTP. EETimes is the industry leader of enterprise aggregation. Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. The development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the standard industry industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We will embrace the aptitude of biometrics to generate. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Without well-chosen niches, technologies are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will iterate the term "viral". What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? EETimes is the industry leader of client-focused development. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100 percent true! Think killer. Think world-class. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor is open-source. We will intensify our power to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to transition. Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think backward-compatible. Think blog-based. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? EETimes has revolutionized the concept of reporting. The power to harness virally leads to the power to target dynamically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be magnetic? Without project management, you will lack TQM. We will integrate the term "dot-com". Think cutting-edge. Think micro-real-world. We will enlarge our power to target without devaluing our capability to transform. We will grow our ability to matrix without decreasing our capacity to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you implement perfectly, you may have to expedite compellingly.