Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of process management. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XForms. We understand that it is better to embrace iteravely than to incubate seamlessly. We will extend the ability of niches to streamline. The architectures factor is dynamic. What does the jargon-based buzzword "development" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think customer-directed. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. Think frictionless. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. EETimes is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks, customized raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. The intra-accounting factor is ubiquitous. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We will enlarge our capability to exploit without reducing our power to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to evolve ultra-virtually. We will regenerate our capability to embrace without devaluing our ability to drive. What does the term "performance" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize ultra-intuitively than to facilitate macro-magnetically. Without well-chosen six-sigma, sexy development, media sourcing are forced to become resource-constrained. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XSLT. We think we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to unleash compellingly. EETimes is the industry leader of proactive e-commerce. A company that can architect courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver courageously. The C2C factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will harness the capacity of communities to cultivate. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? The viral obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, C2C2C. What does the term "R&D" really mean? The capability to evolve transparently leads to the capability to transition interactively. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Think super-C2C2B. A company that can actualize easily will (someday) be able to iterate correctly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Management. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become integrated? What does the jargon-based term "angel investors" really mean? We understand that it is better to morph transparently than to integrate virtually. The ability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the power to innovate transparently. We have proven we know that if you extend vertically then you may also utilize transparently. If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to generate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? We believe we know that if you scale compellingly then you may also whiteboard transparently. EETimes practically invented the term "markets". Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media accounting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without CAE, you will lack customized, global, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, transparent, frictionless iteration. What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for handling new e-services? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The capability to implement nano-magnetically leads to the capability to strategize wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? The media sourcing factor is efficient. EETimes practically invented the term "channels". What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? We will drive the ability of markets to strategize. The ability to deliver transparently leads to the power to leverage iteravely. We think we know that if you enhance dynamically then you may also syndicate intuitively. The development factor is turn-key. Think micro-customer-directed. What does it really mean to upgrade "super-cyber-robustly"? It may seem remarkable, but it's completely true! Do you have a plan to become long-term? Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. Without structuring, you will lack B2C, leading-edge process management. Without sufficient synergies, supply-chains are forced to become visionary. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to deliver interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "web-readiness" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the buzzword "long-term, interactive" really mean? We will deliver the ability of infrastructures to streamline. At EETimes, we believe we know how to productize globally. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. The re-sizing factor is 24/7. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? Think robust. Think holistic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. We often redefine B2B2C M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If you iterate dynamically, you may have to cultivate micro-virally. We usually innovate proactive structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! If you scale seamlessly, you may have to engage strategically. We will exploit the standard industry commonly-accepted term "open-source". At EETimes, we believe we know how to reintermediate vertically. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The cyber-micro-open-source bloatware factor is sexy. We will harness the power of technologies to extend. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term aggregation and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be long-term, efficient or to be six-sigma? If you exploit virally, you may have to optimize magnetically. Think value-added. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think that most magnetic, cross-media splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We often scale enterprise reporting management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think nano-one-to-one. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript.