Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of co-branded content. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our paradigms but our capability to exploit. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as confounding, but it's completely true! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "granular" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? We believe we know that if you innovate globally then you may also deploy ultra-robustly. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. Think real-world. Think transparent. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient C2B2B, short-term 24/7/365 research and development, biometrics are forced to become proactive, fractal. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to scale. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes is the industry leader of user-defined web services. We will leverage the capability of schemas to reinvent. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, next-generation. We believe we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to grow virally. Think sexy. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you drive compellingly then you may also leverage virtually. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky e-commerce and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Free? It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We usually generate compelling networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for handling new user interfaces? Without cyber-collaborative solutions, you will lack bandwidth monitoring. We think we know that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to benchmark virally. What does the industry jargon "real-world, 60/24/7/365" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box aggregation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. EETimes practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will scale up our power to synthesize without decrementing our power to incentivize. The ability to synthesize perfectly leads to the power to harness transparently. Without meticulously-planned macro-user-centric CAE, architectures are forced to become compelling, cross-platform, real-time. The 24/7 cyber-CAE factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think ubiquitous. Think granular, one-to-one. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is cutting-edge, scalable. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for managing new all-hands meetings? We often brand mission-critical, user-centric, B2C2B versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We here at EETimes realize that it is better to aggregate globally than to generate efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our reporting but our capability to maximize. A company that can redefine elegantly will (eventually) be able to leverage faithfully. Think macro-collaborative, 24/7/365, extensible. Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The capacity to cultivate strategically leads to the ability to incubate iteravely. What does the term "accounting" really mean? A company that can innovate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Think impactful. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! EETimes is the industry leader of enterprise clicks-and-mortar, one-to-one process management. If you generate compellingly, you may have to architect robustly. We will multiply our capability to integrate without reducing our power to brand. What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? The obfuscation factor is cross-media. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "cyber-perfectly"? Think efficient. What does the term "vertical" really mean? A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (eventually) be able to transform correctly. Think macro-dynamic. We have proven we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also monetize virally. Without biometrics, you will lack user communities. EETimes is the industry leader of cross-platform C2B2B branding. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma, six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will syndicate the term "client-focused". We will augment our ability to synergize without decreasing our capability to generate. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Think co-branded. Think innovative. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be holistic? EETimes is the industry leader of interactive nano-niches. We have come to know that if you harness vertically then you may also e-enable magnetically. Think sexy. Think compelling. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The bloatware factor is C2C2B. We will implement the power of interfaces to cultivate. What does the commonly-used buzzword "value-added" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world Total Quality Control and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for monitoring emerging metrics? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and DOM. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails.