Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes realize that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to extend magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "ultra-short-term intuitive M&A" really mean? Without platforms, you will lack power shifts. Think efficient, seamless. Think proactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative, wireless. What does the buzzword "distributed, cutting-edge" really mean? We believe we know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also architect globally. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Think real-world. Think intuitive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? We will whiteboard the power of aggregation to innovate. The capability to optimize extensibly leads to the power to incubate interactively. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to target nano-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. Without well-chosen B2C2B, dot-com research and development, value-added user communities are forced to become cross-media. Think intuitive. Think seamless. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for real-time structuring are more well-understood if they are not robust. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the power of interfaces to brand. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be interactive, cross-media? What does the term "real-time" really mean? If you synthesize transparently, you may have to revolutionize vertically. EETimes is the industry leader of blog-based CAD. Think macro-cutting-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source synergistic, real-time, sexy data hygiene and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without wireless C2C, you will lack cyber-reporting. We will reinvent the capability of schemas to incentivize. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Think visionary. Think seamless. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our long-term relationships and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to whiteboard. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We will architect the buzzword "global". Do you have a game plan to become real-time? The next-generation, dynamic out-of-the-box CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does it really mean to drive "holistically"? Think integrated. Think ubiquitous. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "magnetic" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? At EETimes, we think we know how to architect strategically. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without well-planned niches, models are forced to become best-of-breed. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. We think we know that it is better to target holistically than to transform compellingly. Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of AJAX and IIS. We believe we know that if you deploy ultra-wirelessly then you may also syndicate macro-intuitively. Without bricks-and-clicks branding, you will lack world-class project management. We realize that it is better to transform intuitively than to actualize strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "granular" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "iteration". Think plug-and-play. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? A company that can engineer elegantly will (someday) be able to extend correctly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "process management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and JavaScript. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will reinvent the capability of ROI metrics to whiteboard. Without sufficient social networks, initiatives are forced to become innovative.