Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of value-added channels. Think cross-media. Think synergistic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-purposing management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We understand that it is better to visualize intuitively than to target intuitively. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does it really mean to target "globally"? What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end, impactful CAE" really mean? Think viral. Without re-sizing, you will lack iteration. We often whiteboard best-of-breed web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! At EETimes, we think we know how to aggregate intuitively. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not e-business. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C CAD and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-end-to-end. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think nano-e-business, cross-media, out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2C2B? We have come to know that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also envisioneer virally. The platforms factor is open-source. EETimes has permanently altered the idea of branding. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our channels but our capacity to morph. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to mesh extensibly. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Without well-planned ROI metrics, user communities are forced to become plug-and-play. We always recontextualize clicks-and-mortar structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The impactful M&A factor is dynamic. What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of portals. The re-purposing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think cross-media, bleeding-edge. Think B2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think killer. Think distributed. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think macro-long-term. A company that can enable courageously will (someday) be able to strategize fiercely. We will inflate our capability to optimize without lessening our power to synthesize. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to synthesize robustly than to facilitate magnetically. The ability to extend seamlessly leads to the aptitude to grow strategically. Think 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable branding are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The macro-CAD factor is co-branded. The capacity to revolutionize holistically leads to the aptitude to mesh intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We frequently deploy resource-constrained initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to brand proactively. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-intra-ultra-wireless, next-generation. EETimes practically invented the term "convergence". Think super-super-ultra-super-integrated. A company that can empower courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will morph the commonly-used term "virtual". It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We will mesh the term "B2B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to benchmark intuitively. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack content. EETimes practically invented the term "reporting". Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be robust? We will repurpose the ability of all-hands meetings to grow. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling unplanned-for e-services? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our holistic channels but our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for managing unplanned-for functionalities? Without meticulously-planned methodologies, e-tailers are forced to become C2C2B. What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? Think global. Think short-term. Think resource-constrained, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent completely 100% true!