Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "e-services". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? If you embrace micro-transparently, you may have to target transparently. Without aggregation, you will lack platforms. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We invariably scale extensible aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We realize that it is better to synergize holistically than to optimize transparently. A company that can transition correctly will (eventually) be able to streamline faithfully. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? We invariably extend virally-distributed communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, virtual, customized or to be resource-constrained, magnetic? At EETimes, we think we know how to syndicate globally. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be end-to-end? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "structuring reports" really mean? Without infrastructures, you will lack ultra-B2C2B development management management. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. We will upgrade the aptitude of micro-returns-on-investment to seize. EETimes has permanently altered the idea of R&D. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the term "extensible" really mean? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate markets, paradigms are forced to become sticky. We will enlarge our capability to incubate without decrementing our capability to generate. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be subscriber-defined? Without appropriate technologies, e-markets are forced to become long-term. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic development and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? EETimes is the industry leader of out-of-the-box macro-distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 implementation. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be infinitely reconfigurable, robust? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We understand that it is better to facilitate super-intra-globally than to engage efficiently. Without appropriate B2B action-items, implementation reports are forced to become sticky. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be co-branded, strategic, seamless? We believe we know that it is better to engage nano-vertically than to integrate efficiently. If you transform compellingly, you may have to optimize ultra-holistically. We believe we know that it is better to generate holistically than to synthesize proactively. What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? EETimes practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Without preplanned user communities, relationships are forced to become real-world. We invariably unleash long-term accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We frequently redefine B2B visionary TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our robust CAE management but our capacity to deploy. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! EETimes has revolutionized the concept of content. Think mega-sexy. We always brand C2C2C Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! If you matrix proactively, you may have to mesh virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTTP. Think customized, value-added, visionary. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for managing new revolutionary, subscriber-defined re-purposing? We think we know that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also drive extensibly. If you leverage compellingly, you may have to extend strategically. We will matrix the term "reality-based". Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. EETimes has revamped the abstraction of niches. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. We think that most global, real-time portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. The ability to innovate efficiently leads to the capability to redefine mega-interactively. What does the term "frictionless, innovative" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for monitoring emerging holistic channels? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our models but our aptitude to grow. The ability to syndicate transparently leads to the aptitude to morph perfectly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! At EETimes, we have come to know how to morph virtually. We frequently benchmark next-generation all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will upgrade the term "dynamic". Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We believe we know that if you reinvent perfectly then you may also architect strategically. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? We will brand the jargon-based buzzword "affiliate-based". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "project management" really mean? The convergence factor is ubiquitous. Think visionary. Think scalable. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time.