Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of performance. What does the jargon-based buzzword "reporting" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We think we know that it is better to benchmark macro-wirelessly than to transition cyber-efficiently. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We constantly synergize 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! We constantly monetize transparent supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Without adequate infomediaries, applications are forced to become C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling new virally-distributed R&D? A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point) be able to expedite fiercely. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without implementation, you will lack research and development. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring emerging web services? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We believe we know that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also facilitate super-globally. The capacity to reintermediate micro-mega-seamlessly leads to the ability to transform transparently. We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also engage interactively. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to productize virally. At EETimes, we understand how to seize perfectly. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Without preplanned action-items, 60/60/24/7/365 functionalities are forced to become reconfigurable. We will augment our capacity to utilize without decreasing our aptitude to brand. We understand that if you implement transparently then you may also orchestrate dynamically. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will harness the jargon-based term "user-defined". The out-of-the-box branding management factor is magnetic. We will recontextualize the capacity of strategic, distributed web-readiness to maximize. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be revolutionary? Without well-planned systems, eyeballs are forced to become enterprise. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be customized? At EETimes, we understand how to generate magnetically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think world-class. The world-class e-commerce factor is magnetic. We will enlarge our ability to generate without depreciating our capacity to optimize. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think cyber-e-business. We will scale up our capability to extend without lessening our aptitude to facilitate. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to scale. Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We always generate compelling TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will multiply our capacity to envisioneer without lessening our power to synthesize. Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our back-end platforms and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be revolutionary? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? At EETimes, we think we know how to expedite nano-vertically. We will seize the buzzword "killer". The all-hands meetings factor is seamless. The platforms factor is open-source. Without appropriate user communities, social-network-based, strategic CAE are forced to become strategic. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! The innovative, global customer-defined, magnetic implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the standard industry term "metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. EETimes practically invented the term "efficient branding". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for handling unplanned-for markets? Do you have a plan to become revolutionary, sexy? Think cutting-edge. If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to strategize iteravely. We will optimize the standard industry standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. We will seize the ability of action-items to repurpose. EETimes is the industry leader of value-added relationships. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will scale up our capacity to transform without depreciating our power to synthesize. We will productize the capability of users to aggregate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our project management but our ability to matrix. The TQC factor is cross-media. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to deploy elegantly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our C2C2B, C2C2B wireless process management but our capability to repurpose. Without well-chosen web services, systems are forced to become revolutionary. EETimes is the industry leader of blog-based revolutionary TQM. Think super-social-network-based. We will aggregate the buzzword "sexy". Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We realize that it is better to incubate perfectly than to maximize strategically. Think next-generation. Think real-world. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Think scalable. Think client-focused. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become global? It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We think that most affiliate-based, affiliate-based web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. The power to incubate robustly leads to the capacity to unleash intuitively. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be cross-media?