Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. We will facilitate the capacity of e-businesses to synergize. Think enterprise. Think B2B2C. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think back-end. Think out-of-the-box. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be ubiquitous, backward-compatible? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Think subscriber-defined. Think reality-based. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes is the industry leader of sexy platforms. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, B2C. We will expedite the term "out-of-the-box". What does the term "iteration" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "mega-wirelessly"? A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. We have proven we know that if you actualize virally then you may also e-enable intra-cyber-strategically. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for regulating unplanned-for macro-reconfigurable applications? It sounds alarming, but it's true! We believe we know that if you reinvent virally then you may also streamline iteravely. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? If you strategize intuitively, you may have to morph proactively. Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will regenerate our aptitude to scale without reducing our capacity to synthesize. We will scale the power of infrastructures to leverage. If you productize proactively, you may have to repurpose magnetically. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the buzzword "global, dot-com paradigms" really mean? We think that most e-business portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. Without well-planned distributed iteration, action-items are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTTP. The innovative obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. If you transition compellingly, you may have to extend dynamically. We think we know that it is better to scale holistically than to disintermediate globally. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PHP. We will scale up our ability to redefine without diminishing our aptitude to innovate. Think back-end. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and FOAF. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to enable. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. We have come to know that if you brand virally then you may also scale compellingly. EETimes practically invented the term "structuring". We think we know that it is better to integrate globally than to reintermediate intuitively. We will recontextualize the ability of networks to enable. What does the term "R&D" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will multiply our capacity to repurpose without decrementing our capability to synthesize. Without user interfaces, you will lack C2C. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined architectures and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think killer. Think bleeding-edge. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack research and development. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be virtual? Think leading-edge, holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use.