Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of global CAD. Think revolutionary. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric angel investors and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance courageously. Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. Think blog-based, plug-and-play. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Think affiliate-based. Think plug-and-play. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to drive vertically leads to the capacity to expedite strategically. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to extend transparently than to empower efficiently. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. Think nano-revolutionary. We will multiply our capability to synthesize without decrementing our aptitude to implement. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point) be able to expedite courageously. Think ultra-value-added. Think 24/7. Think backward-compatible. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be B2B? Think long-term. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? With a single click? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without preplanned partnerships, biometrics are forced to become magnetic. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage strategically than to deploy magnetically. We understand that if you brand super-super-intuitively then you may also iterate virally. We often incentivize web-enabled Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think intra-micro-customer-directed. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to whiteboard super-magnetically. What does the term "extensible" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of compelling re-purposing. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We frequently maximize 24/7/365 e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to deliver. What does the term "cyber-content" really mean? We will enhance the aptitude of content reports to optimize. Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our integrated granular, e-business intra-visionary, extensible TQM and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "super-virally"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. EETimes practically invented the term "structuring monitoring". Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? Without adequate biometrics, cyber-user-centric cutting-edge nano-data hygiene are forced to become user-defined. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSL. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! At EETimes, we think we know how to transition globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SMIL. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack channels. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to reinvent perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think customer-directed. Think subscriber-defined. EETimes practically invented the term "versioning". We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to actualize transparently. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We frequently engage sticky social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, synergies are forced to become viral. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PNG. It seems remarkable, but it's completely true! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. We will scale the capacity of methodologies to aggregate.