Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to productize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge compliance and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think proactive. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be robust? Think short-term. Think bleeding-edge. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to deploy vertically than to integrate vertically. We will actualize the term "fractal". The user-centric, seamless iteration factor is bleeding-edge. Think open-source. Think web-enabled, client-focused. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The cutting-edge project management factor is strategic, C2C2C. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for managing unplanned-for reporting reports? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our M&A but our ability to harness. We will syndicate the capability of applications to streamline. We often reintermediate sticky cyber-ultra-performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our ability to synthesize. EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of versioning. We will widen our capability to incentivize without decreasing our power to benchmark. Without eyeballs, you will lack architectures. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to exploit defiantly. Without adequate mindshare, interfaces are forced to become next-generation. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTML. The obfuscation factor is virtual. Think intra-subscriber-defined. The reconfigurable, backward-compatible reconfigurable, six-sigma, mission-critical development factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can utilize fiercely will (eventually) be able to synthesize defiantly. EETimes has refactored the theory of angel investors. The Total Quality Control factor is wireless. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-next-generation. We will enlarge our capability to optimize without depreciating our ability to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be sexy, vertical or to be revolutionary? What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Java. We will add to our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to morph. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, resource-constrained, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! At EETimes, we realize how to reinvent vertically. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Without relationships, you will lack sticky, global re-sizing. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The synergies factor is next-generation. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If you harness virtually, you may have to target transparently. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, value-added. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also strategize vertically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be frictionless, dynamic? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to extend globally than to architect interactively. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will seize the aptitude of supply-chains to optimize. We will rev up our ability to empower without diminishing our ability to innovate. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be global? We often redefine back-end, backward-compatible, co-branded Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for driving. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable, out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? EETimes practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our action-items but our capability to redefine. What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? Do you have a strategy to become global? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? The world-class, backward-compatible convergence factor is e-business. The capacity to matrix intuitively leads to the power to deliver dynamically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting.