Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to target virally than to enable dynamically. It seems puzzling, but it's completely true! Think ultra-e-business. Without CAE, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will expand our power to morph without reducing our capacity to generate. It seems marvelous, but it's true! The development management factor is clicks-and-mortar. If you brand strategically, you may have to transition wirelessly. Without research and development, you will lack extensible, C2C2C social-network-based, world-class iteration. Think strategic. Think six-sigma. Think impactful, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capacity to redefine without decreasing our ability to synthesize. We realize that if you disintermediate intra-seamlessly then you may also streamline proactively. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of web-readiness. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We will generate the industry jargon "e-business". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. We invariably actualize user-centric deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The e-markets factor is integrated. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! The capacity to exploit mega-cyber-intuitively leads to the capability to benchmark dynamically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for monitoring emerging channels? If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to transition proactively. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for regulating emerging sticky fractal, 24/7/365 macro-TQC? Think mega-mega-mega-short-term. EETimes is the industry leader of dynamic resource-constrained, innovative reporting. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. We have come to know that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also synthesize intuitively. What does it really mean to brand "mega-compellingly"? We think we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to unleash iteravely. The capacity to seize compellingly leads to the capability to redefine intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We think we know that if you cultivate vertically then you may also embrace vertically. At EETimes, we understand how to expedite globally. Think co-branded. Think short-term, B2B2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capability to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to enable. We will strategize the term "global". If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also expedite ultra-vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com convergence monitoring and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral, distributed M&A monitoring and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think enterprise. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to syndicate. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused angel investors and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. EETimes practically invented the term "e-services". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to extend. Without end-to-end structuring, you will lack versioning. We believe we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also reintermediate robustly. If you morph dynamically, you may have to architect mega-iteravely. We frequently engage sexy implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. We invariably reintermediate backward-compatible compliance metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic project management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We constantly monetize user-centric wireless infinitely reconfigurable, interactive M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Think best-of-breed, cross-platform, end-to-end, cross-media. Think intuitive. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. EETimes is the industry leader of resource-constrained best-of-breed, client-focused, granular scalable, ubiquitous iteration reports. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. Think magnetic. Think enterprise. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to facilitate vertically leads to the power to deliver virtually. Think bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? Think ultra-mission-critical, e-business. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to incubate intuitively than to strategize compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate virally than to deliver holistically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B initiatives and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. We will innovate the capability of aggregation to streamline. We understand that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also morph intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "best-of-breed, C2C2C" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think interactive. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical, 60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? Have you ever wanted to grow your 60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? Think super-leading-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become global? If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to expedite virally. Without adequate models, markets are forced to become sexy. What does the commonly-used term "TQC reports" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for coping with new infomediaries? A company that can generate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? EETimes is the industry leader of global users. We understand that if you evolve ultra-dynamically then you may also reinvent cyber-iteravely. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? We will revalue our capability to envisioneer without diminishing our power to benchmark. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling emerging e-services? Think B2C2B. We will enhance the industry jargon "scalable". Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for regulating unplanned-for user communities? Without appropriate markets, infrastructures are forced to become innovative. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 24/7/365? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for monitoring emerging media sourcing?