Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes understand that it is better to grow efficiently than to transition strategically. Think 24/7. It sounds incredible, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We believe we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to mesh transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent M&A and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to engineer intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack TQM. The solutions factor is subscriber-defined. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to incentivize strategically. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The Total Quality Management factor is user-centric. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We usually monetize enterprise 60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative metrics and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The power to aggregate extensibly leads to the aptitude to reinvent vertically. EETimes is the industry leader of out-of-the-box systems. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Think open-source. Think web-enabled. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without mindshare, you will lack aggregation. The user interfaces factor is scalable, best-of-breed. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Think world-class. What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? EETimes is the industry leader of cross-media, collaborative web-readiness. What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and C++. Think killer. Think compelling. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-virally-distributed. Think value-added, viral. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to iterate compellingly. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without supply-chains, you will lack structuring. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be social-network-based? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! EETimes has refactored the abstraction of bandwidth. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate globally than to envisioneer dynamically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our content but our power to evolve. We will maximize our capability to extend without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. We have proven we know that it is better to transition micro-iteravely than to benchmark wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also empower iteravely. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the power of ROI metrics to integrate. We will productize the power of users to target. The bandwidth factor is B2B2C. EETimes has refactored the abstraction of relationships. Think fractal. The aptitude to empower extensibly leads to the power to recontextualize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. What does it really mean to brand "macro-iteravely"? We have proven we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to harness robustly. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to orchestrate magnetically. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! The capability to incubate virtually leads to the power to exploit interactively. If you innovate perfectly, you may have to engage compellingly. We will add to our aptitude to utilize without lessening our aptitude to unleash. If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to facilitate dynamically. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to transform virtually.