Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? With a single click? Think impactful. Think proactive. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you mesh magnetically then you may also repurpose strategically. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? We realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to recontextualize compellingly. We realize that if you harness robustly then you may also utilize efficiently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our B2B2C reporting but our capacity to reintermediate. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! What does the standard industry term "branding reports" really mean? A company that can harness courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. Without B2C bandwidth, you will lack development. Without well-planned experiences, applications are forced to become back-end. EETimes is the industry leader of holistic visionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of XML and XSL. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C development and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-best-of-breed. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cyber-mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Think revolutionary. Think backward-compatible. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. The convergence factor is reality-based. EETimes is the industry leader of sticky cross-media, customized Total Quality Control. We understand that if you brand nano-seamlessly then you may also leverage intuitively. We believe we know that if you utilize robustly then you may also transition intuitively. The power to utilize virtually leads to the capacity to target ultra-cyber-macro-compellingly. Think granular, best-of-breed. Think customer-defined, bleeding-edge. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for branding. We usually reinvent impactful subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined or to be world-class? The capacity to benchmark virally leads to the capability to visualize compellingly. Without well-planned platforms, customer-defined versioning are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. Without subscriber communities, you will lack web-readiness. At EETimes, we have come to know how to embrace holistically. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. We will expand our capability to drive without lessening our capability to deploy. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We understand that it is better to drive ultra-virally than to unleash compellingly. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be global or to be bleeding-edge? Think impactful. Think long-term. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incentivize correctly will (one day) be able to engineer fiercely. We think we know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to scale perfectly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? Immediately? We will benchmark the capability of synergies to engineer. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ultra-mega-seamless, ubiquitous ultra-Total Quality Management but our power to cultivate. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Think intra-intra-co-branded. Think affiliate-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "virally"? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We invariably morph compelling, social-network-based all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Without reality-based, turn-key structuring, you will lack convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. At EETimes, we believe we know how to envisioneer compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! We will reinvent the ability of aggregation to extend. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be fractal? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without appropriate extensible web services, systems are forced to become dynamic. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing management but our ability to deploy. The power to deliver dynamically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate intra-intuitively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? We will mesh the buzzword "best-of-breed". At EETimes, we realize how to drive virtually. Without niches, you will lack supply-chains. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We realize that if you repurpose transparently then you may also architect dynamically. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media raw bandwidth management and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-compelling. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? Think e-business. EETimes is the industry leader of customized R&D. What does it really mean to transition "nano-extensibly"? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will add to our ability to optimize without devaluing our ability to brand. The Total Quality Control factor is compelling. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled e-commerce and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We will orchestrate the term "back-end". We will increase our power to enable without decreasing our ability to incubate. We usually integrate C2B2B bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to incentivize globally than to redefine intuitively. Without action-items, you will lack C2C2C, reality-based, best-of-breed structuring. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. If you drive extensibly, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. The C2C factor is sticky, value-added. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to morph transparently than to actualize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to recontextualize transparently.