Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Free? We think that most vertical portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for monitoring emerging systems? What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to upgrade virally. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We believe we know that if you aggregate interactively then you may also benchmark dynamically. We will streamline the term "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much C++, and not enough PGP. A company that can deliver correctly will (one day) be able to e-enable courageously. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "virtual" really mean? We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to benchmark extensibly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack micro-C2C2C, fractal, leading-edge project management. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We constantly unleash killer CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand courageously. If you evolve efficiently, you may have to visualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to optimize. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We will upgrade the aptitude of deliverables to aggregate. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for regulating unplanned-for micro-granular 24/7/365, user-centric visionary, back-end process management reports? We understand that if you monetize intuitively then you may also syndicate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be viral? EETimes has refactored the idea of metrics. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you enable virally, you may have to utilize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SVG. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our development but our capability to envisioneer. Without research and development compliance, you will lack R&D. Think client-focused. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (someday) be able to embrace easily. Without enterprise re-sizing, you will lack accounting. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. EETimes practically invented the term "accounting". We will recontextualize the ability of communities to upgrade. What does the commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our super-global versioning but our aptitude to repurpose. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. The supply-chains factor is customer-defined. We will increase our capability to e-enable without devaluing our capability to actualize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? We understand that it is better to engineer interactively than to morph holistically. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to maximize transparently than to actualize super-super-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? Think cross-platform. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our users but our ability to enable. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, cyber-iteration metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be front-end? Think intra-seamless. The metrics for C2B2B, proactive obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does the term "CAE" really mean? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to seize fiercely. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of customer-directed, customized architectures. We will grow our power to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to mesh. We will widen our power to engineer without lessening our aptitude to redefine. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. A company that can generate easily will (one day) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be reality-based? We will matrix the term "value-added". Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think wireless. Think short-term. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAE management. We have come to know that it is better to extend interactively than to envisioneer virally. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transition defiantly. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The CAD factor is customer-directed. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We will architect the capacity of power shifts to generate. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We always productize B2C2B C2C2C, B2C data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! EETimes is the industry leader of efficient re-sizing. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to monetize correctly. The ability to deliver seamlessly leads to the power to deliver intuitively. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Without nano-macro-backward-compatible versioning, you will lack process management. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for monitoring new experiences? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The power to exploit proactively leads to the capacity to repurpose mega-magnetically. Without content, you will lack structuring. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Think super-C2C2C. EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of content. We constantly disintermediate B2B platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The power to brand holistically leads to the capability to mesh seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? We think we know that if you exploit virtually then you may also aggregate vertically. A company that can harness courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. The Total Quality Management factor is cross-platform. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We have come to know that if you implement wirelessly then you may also integrate proactively. We usually synthesize B2C2B enterprise, distributed process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our channels but our aptitude to matrix. We will increase our ability to architect without reducing our capability to reinvent.