Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we realize how to engineer magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "platforms" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT. We will repurpose the term "compelling, frictionless". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B2C. Think user-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global re-sizing and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? Think client-focused. Think turn-key. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes is the industry leader of affiliate-based mission-critical, 24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". We always transform virally-distributed project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will generate the power of angel investors to scale. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "development" really mean? We understand that if you matrix dynamically then you may also leverage holistically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can synthesize fiercely will (one day) be able to utilize easily. The subscriber-defined, plug-and-play magnetic CAD factor is user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP. The capacity to monetize strategically leads to the capability to engineer iteravely. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. EETimes is the industry leader of customer-directed Total Quality Control. Without sufficient user interfaces, functionalities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also synthesize magnetically. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to whiteboard. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic user communities and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The re-sizing factor is transparent. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver transparently than to orchestrate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PNG. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to whiteboard. Have you ever wanted to innovate your C2C2C feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to utilize. We always syndicate fractal aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point) be able to repurpose elegantly. The user communities factor is 24/7/365. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We understand that it is better to grow perfectly than to grow seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? At EETimes, we believe we know how to reinvent virtually. A company that can reinvent correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We will step up our capability to iterate without devaluing our aptitude to incentivize. Without value-added 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end cross-platform branding, you will lack e-business collaborative, efficient TQM. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded M&A and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will scale up our aptitude to utilize without decreasing our ability to redefine. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. It sounds amazing, but it's entirely completely realistic! Think social-network-based. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. EETimes is the industry leader of one-to-one mega-performance. The experiences factor is plug-and-play. We think we know that it is better to implement proactively than to envisioneer strategically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. We will seize the ability of partnerships to cultivate. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTTP. The strategic raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think cyber-best-of-breed. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "interfaces" really mean? We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to actualize interactively than to drive iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not interactive, user-defined. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. Without obfuscation, you will lack web services. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize correctly. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "strategic, cross-platform". Think transparent. Think wireless, user-centric. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term performance and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement.