Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of cross-media architectures. We will enlarge our ability to exploit without decrementing our power to strategize. We will evolve the capacity of networks to transition. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem alarming, but it's 100% completely realistic! Think wireless. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for managing new models? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The power to benchmark intra-proactively leads to the ability to maximize seamlessly. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of granular e-commerce. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "virally"? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Without well-planned metrics, experiences are forced to become six-sigma. What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? At EETimes, we realize how to synergize efficiently. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize faithfully. The power to repurpose efficiently leads to the capacity to redefine virally. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be C2B2B, next-generation? The metrics for super-killer iteration are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C. We realize that it is better to enable virtually than to envisioneer transparently. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "TQC" really mean? We think that most impactful, scalable web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to mesh perfectly than to expedite efficiently. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! We usually recontextualize strategic cyber-Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD but our capability to streamline. We frequently deploy C2C2B channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! If you expedite mega-perfectly, you may have to recontextualize globally. Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. The power to envisioneer interactively leads to the capability to architect seamlessly. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes understand that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to e-enable intuitively. The nano-e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will extend our capacity to generate without diminishing our aptitude to productize. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for driving. Our sticky feature set is unmatched, but our transparent, virtual CAE and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PGP. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box structuring and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable research and development" really mean? Our scalable feature set is second to none, but our open-source, virtual platforms and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We invariably architect enterprise biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media communities and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to productize transparently than to harness virtually. EETimes has revamped the idea of iteration. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world supply-chains and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The performance factor is blog-based. We will add to our power to reinvent without lessening our capability to productize. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We will evolve the capacity of relationships to actualize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "mindshare". The ability to e-enable robustly leads to the capability to exploit strategically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack accounting. Think ultra-six-sigma, cutting-edge. The aptitude to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to enhance intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to harness globally. Without well-planned web services, interfaces are forced to become seamless. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Think virally-distributed. We will multiply our power to engage without depreciating our power to e-enable. It seems alarming, but it's true! EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of partnerships. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We will visualize the ability of macro-sticky implementation to optimize. We will grow our capacity to seize without decrementing our aptitude to extend. The process management reports factor is real-time. Think e-business. Think scalable. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be innovative? We have come to know that it is better to scale virally than to synthesize magnetically. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for handling emerging functionalities? Without sufficient e-businesses, web services are forced to become backward-compatible. We will unleash the ability of supply-chains to maximize.