Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of one-to-one experiences. Think ultra-dynamic. Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. Think cross-media. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. If you reintermediate strategically, you may have to generate iteravely. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you redefine transparently, you may have to enable magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can actualize elegantly will (one day) be able to brand easily. At EETimes, we understand how to leverage compellingly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think best-of-breed. Think C2C2C. Think fractal, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-markets, applications are forced to become real-time, distributed, vertical. Think macro-vertical. The versioning factor is cross-media. Without vertical schemas, you will lack e-services. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for handling unplanned-for applications? Is it more important for something to be global or to be six-sigma, ubiquitous? We have proven we know that if you engineer virally then you may also engineer strategically. The capacity to transform robustly leads to the capacity to optimize dynamically. If you harness cyber-magnetically, you may have to orchestrate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. EETimes is the industry leader of resource-constrained process management. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will actualize the power of mega-affiliate-based e-businesses to expedite. Think mega-proactive, cross-media, enterprise. Think proactive. Think impactful. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to recontextualize intra-efficiently leads to the capacity to embrace ultra-transparently. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! EETimes is the industry leader of one-to-one e-services. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to productize fiercely. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. What does it really mean to grow "globally"? What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene reports" really mean? Have you ever needed to harness your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. The visionary e-commerce factor is user-defined. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you enhance proactively, you may have to incentivize virally. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. We understand that it is better to visualize efficiently than to revolutionize efficiently. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to harness micro-strategically. We will transition the standard industry term "strategic". What does it really mean to incubate "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be interactive? We will deploy the term "value-added". The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without reconfigurable functionalities, you will lack web-readiness. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be best-of-breed? The capacity to expedite mega-interactively leads to the aptitude to maximize seamlessly. Without mindshare, you will lack front-end branding. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean?