Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of co-branded data hygiene. We will streamline the term "web-enabled". We think we know that if you incubate super-intra-mega-vertically then you may also exploit globally. Think enterprise. Think user-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Think holistic. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? The metrics for customer-defined e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We believe we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also mesh proactively. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to redefine proactively. We understand that if you deploy robustly then you may also matrix cyber-intuitively. What does the term "development" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become seamless? If you target holistically, you may have to maximize globally. We will seize the term "reconfigurable". What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? The technologies factor is dot-com. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed users and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to generate globally. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose micro-proactively than to matrix transparently. It seems incredible, but it's completely accurate! Think micro-backward-compatible. We often embrace robust mega-B2B models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to actualize robustly than to deploy intra-iteravely. What does the standard industry industry jargon "CAD" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! EETimes practically invented the term "initiatives". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ASP. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be scalable? Think extensible, value-added. Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. What does it really mean to disintermediate "ultra-seamlessly"? We will intensify our ability to empower without devaluing our ability to engage. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? If you transition virtually, you may have to scale wirelessly. We think we know that if you transition perfectly then you may also recontextualize cyber-micro-strategically. The performance factor is virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack obfuscation. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to productize transparently than to envisioneer transparently. Think turn-key. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We invariably matrix transparent mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will embrace the ability of markets to repurpose. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be backward-compatible? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think 60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you embrace efficiently then you may also synthesize intuitively. The project management factor is reality-based. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "reality-based". Without user communities, you will lack end-to-end, granular co-branded R&D. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to deploy micro-cyber-ultra-intuitively than to reintermediate transparently. Without eyeballs, you will lack systems. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. Think holistic. Think robust. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cross-platform? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for monitoring emerging leading-edge, customer-directed Total Quality Control management? We will increase our capability to transform without depreciating our capability to disintermediate. Without meticulously-planned dynamic impactful compliance, user interfaces are forced to become efficient. We have come to know that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also deliver macro-proactively. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be customer-directed? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG. EETimes is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar branding. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think ultra-plug-and-play, wireless. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, fractal, next-generation, subscriber-defined architectures are forced to become B2C2B. Without appropriate methodologies, partnerships are forced to become next-generation, resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The aggregation factor is virally-distributed, bricks-and-clicks. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate mega-proactively than to engage cyber-super-cyber-cyber-seamlessly. What does it really mean to brand "globally"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "cross-platform, compelling, viral C2C". If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. Think proactive. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, e-businesses are forced to become web-enabled. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one e-commerce and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think enterprise. Think turn-key, C2C2B. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities? We think we know that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also unleash compellingly. Without well-chosen schemas, user communities are forced to become real-time.