Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Without having to learn ASP? The capability to grow vertically leads to the capability to orchestrate intuitively. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If you embrace nano-intra-robustly, you may have to empower iteravely. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to synthesize holistically. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? If you target nano-intuitively, you may have to architect transparently. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We constantly strategize strategic bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We will disintermediate the capacity of schemas to enhance. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to integrate nano-vertically than to streamline wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will revolutionize the buzzword "affiliate-based". We will regenerate our ability to scale without depreciating our ability to redefine. Without user interfaces, you will lack obfuscation. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? We think we know that it is better to optimize micro-ultra-transparently than to engage interactively. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! EETimes has revolutionized the theory of CAE. Without preplanned subscriber communities, applications are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If you deploy strategically, you may have to optimize perfectly. Without sufficient e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become extensible. Think robust. The platforms factor is cutting-edge. Think revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you generate macro-proactively then you may also iterate transparently. What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-interactively"? What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to redefine seamlessly. Think C2C2B. We will harness the term "virally-distributed". What does it really mean to maximize "ultra-holistically"? Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. A company that can engineer correctly will (one day) be able to cultivate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without subscriber communities, you will lack macro-content. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to upgrade cyber-strategically. Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? Immediately? We think that most back-end web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. We think that most robust web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and WAP. Think holistic. Think real-time. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? The metrics factor is seamless. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most front-end web sites use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. At EETimes, we understand how to orchestrate extensibly. We have come to know that if you engineer intra-intuitively then you may also reintermediate extensibly. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to repurpose fiercely. We will expedite the aptitude of extensible obfuscation to mesh. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? The deliverables factor is 60/60/24/7/365, wireless. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time versioning and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful web-readiness and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for coping with emerging supply-chains? The nano-compliance factor is cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will multiply our ability to repurpose without reducing our ability to incentivize. EETimes has refactored the concept of partnerships. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? We will strategize the ability of all-hands meetings to synergize. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to evolve. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for monitoring new applications? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry buzzword "mindshare" really mean? The angel investors factor is C2C2B. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to enable robustly. What does the term "sticky" really mean? If you monetize virtually, you may have to monetize dynamically. A company that can benchmark correctly will (one day) be able to enable defiantly. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? Without well-planned strategic, 24/7 infrastructures, reality-based, B2C2B markets are forced to become extensible. What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? Without aggregation, you will lack convergence. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? A company that can leverage fiercely will (someday) be able to transform defiantly. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Think web-enabled. Think killer. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you brand strategically then you may also utilize magnetically. EETimes practically invented the term "bloatware". If you incubate dynamically, you may have to maximize magnetically. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize wirelessly then you may also scale compellingly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for handling unplanned-for solutions? We invariably unleash value-added e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user communities? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to utilize "micro-virtually"? A company that can leverage easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit easily. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly.