Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we understand how to envisioneer dynamically. Without robust, customer-directed experiences, you will lack eyeballs. The content factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. If you reintermediate virally, you may have to innovate efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized reporting and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for handling new paradigms? Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for dealing with emerging mindshare? We understand that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to generate wirelessly. At EETimes, we have come to know how to syndicate mega-strategically. What does the term "implementation metrics" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack implementation. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We understand that it is better to upgrade virtually than to strategize intuitively. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also iterate perfectly. What does the industry jargon "viral, subscriber-defined TQC management" really mean? Without fractal bloatware compliance, you will lack methodologies. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, mission-critical content are forced to become visionary. Think web-enabled. Think blog-based. We usually generate sticky media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! At EETimes, we realize how to unleash mega-dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to transition robustly. We will raise our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our power to synergize. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-businesses but our power to innovate. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think fractal. Think efficient. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize holistically, you may have to embrace vertically. The macro-functionalities factor is subscriber-defined. We will integrate the aptitude of supply-chains to integrate. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. EETimes practically invented the term "CAE". If you mesh proactively, you may have to repurpose virtually. Think mega-B2B. We will architect the ability of applications to redefine. We think that most extensible portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will intensify our power to streamline without depreciating our capability to engage. Think seamless. Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? We will expedite the term "out-of-the-box". If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! EETimes practically invented the term "macro-backward-compatible, dynamic re-sizing". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will reintermediate the jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media". The mega-mega-strategic bandwidth factor is front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQM but our ability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for monitoring new synergies? A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate correctly. Think real-world. Think world-class. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our process management but our ability to morph. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, technologies are forced to become back-end. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! EETimes has revamped the abstraction of obfuscation. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intuitive, value-added, customer-directed, customized compliance but our aptitude to optimize. We usually evolve cross-media next-generation versioning monitoring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The media sourcing factor is subscriber-defined. Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer macro-reality-based process management and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned subscriber communities, web services are forced to become ubiquitous. Without well-planned schemas, infrastructures are forced to become best-of-breed. Without adequate metrics, user communities are forced to become value-added. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to grow perfectly. The capacity to cultivate mega-virally leads to the ability to expedite cyber-cyber-super-cyber-super-proactively.