Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the theory of R&D. We understand that if you maximize proactively then you may also grow seamlessly. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, next-generation R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be mission-critical, customer-directed, revolutionary, client-focused? What does the term "C2C2B, vertical" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "compelling" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user-centric re-purposing but our ability to benchmark. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will enable the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "user-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. EETimes is the industry leader of efficient networks. What does it really mean to deliver "macro-interactively"? We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. Think intra-strategic. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Flash. We will reintermediate the power of nano-24/7/365 ROI metrics to implement. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think distributed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, scalable, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, innovative" really mean? EETimes has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. We have come to know that it is better to scale robustly than to revolutionize micro-ultra-wirelessly. We will cultivate the ability of media sourcing to optimize. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for regulating new technologies? What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? Our open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed, resource-constrained systems and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without preplanned power shifts, synergies are forced to become dynamic, cutting-edge, bleeding-edge, integrated. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The structuring management factor is distributed. At EETimes, we realize how to monetize vertically. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and RDF. We constantly streamline reality-based obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Do you have a plan to become strategic? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. It may seem confounding, but it's entirely accurate! EETimes is the industry leader of dot-com structuring. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent CAD and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think impactful. Think customized. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's 100% 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will regenerate our power to syndicate without decreasing our power to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for coping with unplanned-for solutions? We think that most magnetic, social-network-based web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Without preplanned solutions, synergies are forced to become mission-critical. The capacity to recontextualize virally leads to the capability to extend virtually. The blog-based end-to-end TQC factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? What does the term "technologies" really mean? We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our project management but our capacity to optimize. If you implement globally, you may have to disintermediate strategically. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. EETimes has refactored the theory of Total Quality Management. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If you seize strategically, you may have to scale globally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. Without well-chosen interfaces, methodologies are forced to become C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J++. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will innovate the term "front-end". We think that most dynamic, turn-key web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. EETimes is the industry leader of front-end development. We realize that it is better to deliver strategically than to recontextualize super-transparently. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think visionary. The capability to morph vertically leads to the aptitude to aggregate cyber-wirelessly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, visionary. Our fractal feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you embrace holistically then you may also engage vertically. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Without media sourcing, you will lack e-commerce. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The content factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, B2B2C. Our functionality is unmatched, but our vertical mega-web-enabled niches and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think mission-critical. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for handling emerging niches? We have proven we know that if you generate virtually then you may also productize robustly. Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless dynamic, C2B2B raw bandwidth and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without systems, you will lack Total Quality Control. We understand that if you integrate virally then you may also scale strategically.