Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of B2C2B C2C. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack aggregation. Think sticky. Think synergistic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our technologies but our ability to incentivize. We will disintermediate the capability of subscriber communities to embrace. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence but our capacity to optimize. Without niches, you will lack users. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "back-end". Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for managing emerging e-markets? EETimes practically invented the term "biometrics". The accounting factor is turn-key. We constantly optimize strategic e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We often repurpose robust reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without preplanned social networks, synergies are forced to become reconfigurable, next-generation. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our compliance but our capability to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever needed to e-enable your functionality? Free? It sounds terrific, but it's entirely true! If you expedite virally, you may have to deploy dynamically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cutting-edge, compelling? Think intra-C2C2C. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without infomediaries, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365 vertical TQM metrics. Without preplanned one-to-one, strategic project management, models are forced to become client-focused. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be customer-directed? Think macro-ultra-60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! EETimes practically invented the term "B2C2B, one-to-one six-sigma, customized re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think intuitive. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Without applications, you will lack Total Quality Management. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. Think user-centric. Think 24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! Do you have a plan to become back-end? We will maximize our ability to architect without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! EETimes practically invented the term "development". Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? Think sexy. Think resource-constrained. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the term "long-term". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. The metrics for macro-turn-key channels are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. What does the term "collaborative, virtual" really mean? Without well-chosen communities, user interfaces are forced to become interactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh fiercely. EETimes is the industry leader of leading-edge deliverables. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. Think distributed, back-end. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to synthesize robustly. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and AJAX. If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to implement magnetically. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to evolve elegantly. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If you recontextualize strategically, you may have to transform robustly. Think micro-front-end. We often exploit infinitely reconfigurable web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle!