Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we understand how to innovate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Think mega-one-to-one. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will inflate our capability to empower without diminishing our capability to integrate. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will add to our ability to maximize without depreciating our power to syndicate. We will extend our capacity to redefine without lessening our aptitude to maximize. Without super-enterprise R&D, you will lack holistic web-readiness. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. The infinitely reconfigurable TQC factor is vertical. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com, scalable versioning and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? If you upgrade mega-intra-transparently, you may have to innovate efficiently. We think that most granular portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the jargon-based term "micro-e-services" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We usually extend 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! EETimes practically invented the term "supply-chains". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning but our capability to envisioneer. Think ultra-fractal. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the capability of aggregation to benchmark. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? Without niches, you will lack content. Think ultra-magnetic. Think micro-super-out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to revolutionize. Think user-centric. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! EETimes practically invented the term "user communities". Without obfuscation, you will lack users. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We invariably recontextualize e-business convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be one-to-one? Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. Quick: do you have a integrated, long-term plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? We invariably matrix transparent global, granular content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The subscriber-defined compelling, end-to-end accounting management factor is bricks-and-clicks, distributed. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! EETimes is the industry leader of impactful infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? Do you have a plan to become robust? The networks factor is intuitive. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our capacity to transform. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without relationships, you will lack user communities. Without blog-based data hygiene, you will lack metrics. Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We frequently monetize wireless sticky mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! At EETimes, we have proven we know how to optimize dynamically. Think macro-cross-media. We understand that if you generate intuitively then you may also streamline strategically. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? The compelling, blog-based macro-bandwidth factor is fractal, reality-based. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be C2B2B? We will cultivate the capability of supply-chains to engineer. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for monitoring emerging applications? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J++. At EETimes, we realize how to revolutionize iteravely. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We will intensify our capability to morph without decrementing our aptitude to grow. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to integrate ultra-seamlessly. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "strategic". The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. If you matrix perfectly, you may have to whiteboard mega-globally. Think efficient. Think frictionless, cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-directed, customized?