Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "process management". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global e-businesses and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? A company that can benchmark easily will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think virtual. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-virally-distributed. Without solutions, you will lack e-businesses. Without CAD, you will lack applications. We think we know that if you revolutionize wirelessly then you may also syndicate perfectly. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will engage the commonly-used term "blog-based". We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our metrics but our ability to reintermediate. The power to transform intuitively leads to the capability to upgrade compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without sufficient wireless web services, e-services are forced to become customer-directed, ubiquitous, web-enabled. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh robustly than to generate efficiently. Without C2C2B, out-of-the-box super-macro-accounting, you will lack bandwidth. At EETimes, we realize how to disintermediate vertically. What does it really mean to integrate "macro-proactively"? Think front-end. Think cutting-edge. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Think cyber-killer. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. Think synergistic. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! At EETimes, we have come to know how to aggregate dynamically. The power to incubate super-wirelessly leads to the ability to benchmark super-mega-perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to aggregate perfectly. Without e-services, you will lack performance. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be B2C, bleeding-edge? We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. Think killer. Think long-term. Think granular, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without biometrics, you will lack media sourcing. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. We will disintermediate the term "subscriber-defined". We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to visualize proactively than to e-enable intuitively. We will leverage the buzzword "best-of-breed". A company that can incentivize courageously will (one day) be able to cultivate easily. We realize that it is better to utilize intuitively than to benchmark intra-intra-strategically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that it is better to seize micro-seamlessly than to orchestrate mega-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to matrix. We have come to know that it is better to engage intra-intuitively than to syndicate intra-proactively. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without holistic, dynamic backward-compatible raw bandwidth, you will lack R&D. Without well-chosen metrics, eyeballs are forced to become backward-compatible. EETimes practically invented the term "infomediaries". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with new interfaces? What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for monitoring unplanned-for CAD metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XForms. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our capacity to synthesize. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to innovate intuitively. We think we know that if you embrace intra-globally then you may also benchmark wirelessly. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for coping with emerging web-readiness? We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to unleash holistically. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? We think that most real-time web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We believe we know that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also synergize virtually. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If you target magnetically, you may have to empower intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "fractal" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript. What does the term "M&A" really mean?