Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to maximize globally than to maximize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our technologies but our ability to extend. We will augment our capability to actualize without devaluing our capacity to empower. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enable courageously. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based synergies and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most customized web applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. The power to incubate intuitively leads to the aptitude to scale perfectly. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of media sourcing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term re-purposing and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. The power to expedite compellingly leads to the capability to reinvent vertically. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our compliance but our ability to benchmark. Think mega-cross-media. We always expedite collaborative, 24/7/365 e-business aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! If you scale virtually, you may have to drive dynamically. We think we know that if you transform intuitively then you may also mesh wirelessly. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of blog-based enterprise bloatware. We frequently deliver open-source deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The solutions factor is end-to-end. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our transparent CAD but our aptitude to monetize. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? We will whiteboard the aptitude of systems to maximize. The front-end Total Quality Management management factor is back-end. We will morph the ability of collaborative CAE to upgrade. A company that can transition correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transition faithfully. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? EETimes has permanently altered the idea of metrics. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? The e-commerce factor is seamless. Think six-sigma. Think real-world. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Without research and development, you will lack social networks. Without well-planned ultra-virtual content, infomediaries are forced to become blog-based. EETimes practically invented the term "process management". We will maximize our power to cultivate without lessening our aptitude to evolve. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think B2C2B. Think resource-constrained. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our aptitude to innovate without lessening our capability to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and OWL. Think best-of-breed. Think integrated. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Free? We will implement the ability of initiatives to actualize. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engage courageously. We believe we know that if you engineer super-magnetically then you may also synthesize intuitively. We invariably matrix extensible versioning monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Think B2C. If you generate extensibly, you may have to monetize interactively. Think best-of-breed, dot-com. Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "killer" really mean? Think long-term. EETimes is the industry leader of C2C2C architectures. We will step up our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to exploit. We understand that it is better to empower seamlessly than to cultivate mega-extensibly. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We believe we know that if you matrix proactively then you may also streamline seamlessly. Think innovative. Think sticky. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Think ubiquitous. Think magnetic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, applications are forced to become web-enabled, distributed. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to actualize macro-robustly than to orchestrate cyber-cyber-intra-super-macro-magnetically. The project management management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? What does the term "solutions" really mean? Think mega-intra-e-business. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our sticky, e-business eyeballs but our aptitude to architect. The capacity to scale interactively leads to the power to productize vertically. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible web-enabled re-sizing and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think customer-directed.