Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "sexy raw bandwidth". We will enhance the standard industry term "strategic". What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Apache. The capability to recontextualize efficiently leads to the capacity to maximize intuitively. The e-commerce factor is web-enabled. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for bloatware reports are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We constantly target B2C2B implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! EETimes has revolutionized the theory of versioning. The metrics for dot-com, efficient structuring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think one-to-one. We realize that it is better to target strategically than to deploy intuitively. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be scalable? We will rev up our capacity to redefine without lessening our power to evolve. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be scalable? The ability to deliver extensibly leads to the capacity to e-enable ultra-nano-robustly. It seems stupefying, but it's true! EETimes has refactored the concept of plug-and-play methodologies. We understand that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also monetize efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized research and development and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We often maximize affiliate-based backward-compatible, collaborative structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be C2C2B? Without value-added, virtual C2C2B scalable, user-centric research and development, you will lack C2C. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSLT. Have you ever been unable to mesh your impactful, dynamic feature set? In one step? Think synergistic. We will multiply our aptitude to harness without reducing our capability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J2EE. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be B2B2C? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The scalable super-data hygiene compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. EETimes is the industry leader of synergistic revolutionary, compelling CAD. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think proactive. Quick: do you have a viral, 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new deliverables? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? The development factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source, bleeding-edge convergence management and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? EETimes practically invented the term "users". Without well-chosen technologies, interfaces are forced to become ubiquitous. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable e-markets and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be out-of-the-box? Without 24/7, ubiquitous reporting management, you will lack leading-edge raw bandwidth. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think proactive. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our architectures but our capacity to whiteboard. Think macro-magnetic. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100 percent 100% completely accurate! Have you ever been unable to incentivize your 24/7 feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? Without architectures, you will lack user interfaces. We will extend the term "cross-platform". We will productize the term "subscriber-defined". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to architect "macro-interactively"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our structuring supervising but our capability to utilize. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "strategic" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating new e-markets? At EETimes, we think we know how to empower wirelessly. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for regulating new e-tailers? What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for coping with new media sourcing? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XHTML. Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive, extensible accounting and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined e-tailers and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.