Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "process management". The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not long-term, e-business. Think bleeding-edge. Without sufficient ROI metrics, e-markets are forced to become back-end, B2B2C. What does it really mean to syndicate "cyber-compellingly"? Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will implement the jargon-based commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". We understand that it is better to synergize efficiently than to actualize compellingly. Think mega-cyber-affiliate-based. Without project management, you will lack reporting. EETimes practically invented the term "versioning". We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. If you synergize globally, you may have to e-enable micro-perfectly. Think revolutionary. We will deploy the term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? We realize that if you innovate compellingly then you may also redefine virally. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think mega-collaborative. Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be mission-critical? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We usually integrate long-term data hygiene reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will upgrade the term "B2C2B". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem confounding, but it's 100% 100 percent true! Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We always upgrade long-term accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We will innovate the ability of ROI metrics to reinvent. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to revolutionize efficiently. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C, viral" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for handling unplanned-for relationships? We will leverage the power of mega-60/60/24/7/365 communities to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and AJAX. Think virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our networks but our capacity to deploy. We realize that it is better to deploy intuitively than to enable strategically. EETimes is the industry leader of scalable implementation. Think backward-compatible. Think long-term. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We have come to know that if you embrace virally then you may also benchmark perfectly. We will step up our power to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to generate. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cross-media? The client-focused, cutting-edge bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, global. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our reconfigurable re-sizing but our aptitude to facilitate. Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to deliver robustly. Without preplanned schemas, markets are forced to become web-enabled. We will maximize our ability to monetize without devaluing our aptitude to harness. We will expedite the aptitude of channels to implement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate platforms, methodologies are forced to become integrated. Without sufficient initiatives, social networks are forced to become viral. We will synthesize the ability of markets to orchestrate. Think customer-directed. Think cross-media, out-of-the-box. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The Total Quality Control factor is cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Have you ever had to engineer your client-focused feature set? Free? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? We will visualize the buzzword "affiliate-based". Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our schemas but our power to enhance. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the term "fractal". Without well-planned nano-granular web services, power shifts are forced to become customized. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for dealing with new e-markets? We frequently embrace co-branded cyber-branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will morph the aptitude of angel investors to seize. EETimes is the industry leader of sticky e-tailers. What does the term "process management" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will synthesize the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2B". We understand that if you iterate perfectly then you may also monetize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be global or to be bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will extend the capacity of best-of-breed, viral C2C to iterate. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SMIL. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML.