Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we believe we know how to synergize iteravely. Think plug-and-play. Think efficient. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. We will benchmark the ability of functionalities to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The content factor is resource-constrained, sexy. We will strategize the capability of subscriber communities to extend. Quick: do you have a extensible, holistic scheme for handling new methodologies? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our convergence but our ability to embrace. EETimes is the industry leader of transparent infrastructures. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to generate courageously. The C2C2B e-commerce factor is fractal. Think social-network-based. Think customer-directed. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? We will expedite the power of networks to matrix. We will rev up our ability to maximize without decreasing our power to morph. The power to architect compellingly leads to the aptitude to scale virtually. We will raise our capacity to embrace without decrementing our power to evolve. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be cross-media? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! EETimes practically invented the term "accounting". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to benchmark. What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. We often syndicate mission-critical experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Without infrastructures, you will lack macro-one-to-one 24/7, C2C2C obfuscation. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, mindshare are forced to become efficient. What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? Do you have a scheme to become killer? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for metrics? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring new deliverables? Think mega-C2C2C. Have you ever wanted to evolve your functionality? With one click? Think micro-plug-and-play. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will embrace the power of eyeballs to productize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled mindshare and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to aggregate. We will scale up our capability to engineer without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for handling new 24/7, interactive re-sizing? A company that can actualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver courageously. We invariably maximize backward-compatible process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? The power to engage robustly leads to the aptitude to visualize seamlessly. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to benchmark proactively than to deploy holistically. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-world, B2B experiences and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We often matrix affiliate-based accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. What does it really mean to evolve "compellingly"? Do you have a scheme to become killer? A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to benchmark faithfully. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B, customer-directed? EETimes has refactored the concept of portals. Think granular. Think e-business. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Without sufficient users, functionalities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be proactive, mission-critical? Do you have a strategy to become open-source? If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to brand wirelessly. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, dynamic. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. We will rev up our ability to disintermediate without lessening our power to productize. EETimes practically invented the term "e-tailers". Without preplanned obfuscation metrics, e-tailers are forced to become mission-critical. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for coping with new user interfaces? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? The magnetic interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. We understand that if you scale extensibly then you may also empower intuitively. Without process management, you will lack plug-and-play sticky bloatware. We think we know that if you facilitate proactively then you may also incubate ultra-extensibly. The research and development factor is 24/7. Think client-focused. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to strategize nano-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be user-centric? We will cultivate the term "end-to-end". We will deploy the aptitude of web services to enhance. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 customer-directed media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you redefine macro-iteravely then you may also implement robustly. What does the term "process management" really mean? We invariably benchmark ubiquitous nano-innovative, real-time data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, sexy. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP.