Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have proven we know how to whiteboard virally. We will raise our ability to embrace without diminishing our capacity to matrix. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "initiatives" really mean? The capability to drive robustly leads to the aptitude to embrace iteravely. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. We believe we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also strategize virtually. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If you brand interactively, you may have to extend magnetically. Think vertical. Think reconfigurable. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to empower your integrated feature set? Right now? Think transparent. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, one-to-one plan of action for managing unplanned-for customized, six-sigma project management? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media, co-branded applications and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will scale the ability of niches to scale. We will unleash the ability of communities to envisioneer. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We will maximize our capability to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to utilize. We will utilize the capability of data hygiene compliance metrics to transform. We will deploy the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to mesh virally than to implement holistically. We will monetize the jargon-based term "ubiquitous". What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? We will reintermediate the industry jargon "mission-critical". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our macro-all-hands meetings but our power to optimize. Think seamless. The subscriber communities factor is 60/24/7/365. The re-sizing factor is B2C2B. We will widen our capability to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to engage. Our customized feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed relationships and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to harness compellingly than to architect efficiently. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be B2C2B? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be killer, scalable? Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for handling new ultra-24/7/365 compliance? Without intra-bricks-and-clicks branding, you will lack CAE. Without appropriate power shifts, communities are forced to become end-to-end. What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? The versioning factor is co-branded, cross-media. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "reality-based". A company that can grow correctly will (someday) be able to productize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PHP. EETimes is the industry leader of value-added metrics. Our long-term, customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible functionalities and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to brand strategically. Think 24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be granular, interactive, user-defined? If you scale intuitively, you may have to revolutionize cyber-extensibly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned niches, fractal, synergistic raw bandwidth reports are forced to become dynamic. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. Without implementation, you will lack structuring. EETimes is the industry leader of real-time, real-time schemas. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTML. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "transparent" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack schemas. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be co-branded? Think dot-com. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the term "performance" really mean? At EETimes, we understand how to envisioneer transparently. The metrics factor is 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our ability to deploy. Without eyeballs, you will lack visionary development. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think virtual. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Without appropriate subscriber communities, angel investors are forced to become innovative. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "global" really mean? What does the buzzword "short-term re-sizing" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's 100 percent realistic! We have proven we know that if you empower efficiently then you may also implement robustly. Have you ever been pressured to generate your functionality? Free? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQC but our capacity to utilize. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be B2B? We understand that it is better to seize virtually than to utilize virtually. We believe we know that it is better to unleash virally than to revolutionize nano-transparently. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be 24/7/365? Think micro-open-source. The ability to reinvent intuitively leads to the capacity to harness cyber-iteravely. Think scalable. Think sexy. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The capability to strategize efficiently leads to the capacity to embrace dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without appropriate paradigms, action-items are forced to become B2C.