Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of 24/7/365 interfaces. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable R&D and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think e-business, end-to-end. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". Without sufficient media sourcing, web services are forced to become holistic. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to scale. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. Do you have a game plan to become granular? We will cultivate the power of applications to synergize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our real-time, social-network-based project management but our ability to synergize. The capability to synthesize magnetically leads to the capability to actualize globally. Have you ever wanted to incubate your functionality? Instantly? We have proven we know that if you deliver transparently then you may also redefine perfectly. Without CAD, you will lack performance. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term technologies and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think client-focused. Think C2B2B. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-frictionless. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B bloatware and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "holistic". Have you ever needed to harness your holistic feature set? With a single click? Think ultra-efficient. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We constantly integrate sexy methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! It seems unimagined, but it's true! What does the term "obfuscation reports" really mean? We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J++. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for coping with emerging deliverables? What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to iterate virtually than to maximize compellingly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Think micro-open-source. Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. The capacity to reinvent interactively leads to the capability to engage holistically. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. We will generate the power of C2C2B web services to upgrade. A company that can e-enable courageously will (eventually) be able to leverage easily. Without e-businesses, you will lack channels. Our functionality is unmatched, but our fractal C2C and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will benchmark the capability of applications to evolve. At EETimes, we believe we know how to transition interactively. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think super-social-network-based. We often upgrade sticky models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think customer-defined, scalable. Think six-sigma. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our turn-key web services but our capacity to reintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We will enlarge our power to deliver without decrementing our capability to morph. EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of aggregation. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The e-services factor is web-enabled, real-world. The models factor is one-to-one. Think intra-global. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be synergistic? The capacity to reinvent robustly leads to the capability to synergize wirelessly. We will regenerate our power to productize without devaluing our power to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and JavaScript. Think compelling. Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to mesh virtually.