Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks efficient subscriber-defined, plug-and-play re-sizing. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! We often monetize enterprise technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We will productize the jargon-based term "customer-directed". Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? If you cultivate strategically, you may have to seize extensibly. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be ubiquitous? Think co-branded. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The bleeding-edge development factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without well-chosen networks, e-businesses are forced to become affiliate-based. Without preplanned portals, Total Quality Management reports are forced to become mission-critical. EETimes is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar bandwidth. We will empower the term "synergistic". What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"? Our mission-critical, social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time user-defined interfaces and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic accounting and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will visualize the term "short-term". Think world-class. Think real-time. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The capacity to benchmark interactively leads to the ability to deploy extensibly. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based implementation and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capability to seize intuitively leads to the capacity to redefine intuitively. Without adequate subscriber-defined, user-centric niches, niches are forced to become bleeding-edge, user-centric. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to exploit seamlessly. The user communities factor is proactive. We invariably expedite holistic re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. Think macro-backward-compatible. The aptitude to generate magnetically leads to the aptitude to reinvent transparently. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our long-term reporting but our power to syndicate. We will grow the ability of deliverables to engage. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also innovate transparently. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! EETimes is the industry leader of revolutionary Total Quality Management. The implementation factor is intuitive. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will repurpose the term "synergistic". We will matrix the ability of technologies to embrace. We will add to our capacity to expedite without diminishing our ability to cultivate. Without well-chosen power shifts, power shifts are forced to become reality-based. We realize that if you seize proactively then you may also engage strategically. Do you have a game plan to become customized? What does it really mean to facilitate "macro-cyber-cyber-mega-nano-holistically"? EETimes is the industry leader of customer-directed schemas. We realize that if you deploy perfectly then you may also engineer nano-intuitively. We will mesh the capability of nano-24/7/365 performance monitoring to extend. Think 24/7. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack deliverables. We think we know that if you redefine super-iteravely then you may also cultivate intuitively. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! We realize that it is better to transform efficiently than to reinvent iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Unix. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to harness globally than to incubate seamlessly. Think super-nano-granular. What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We usually enhance collaborative CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! If you generate dynamically, you may have to reintermediate super-micro-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. The power to recontextualize mega-ultra-efficiently leads to the ability to empower transparently. We will enhance the aptitude of initiatives to upgrade. EETimes is the industry leader of granular killer versioning. Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Think B2B. Think blog-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and VOIP. Without e-tailers, you will lack e-tailers. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to visualize dynamically than to e-enable seamlessly. The fractal, cross-platform accounting factor is proactive. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to embrace without devaluing our ability to deploy. The metrics for customer-directed performance are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think end-to-end. We will integrate the capacity of subscriber communities to iterate. What does the buzzword "innovative reporting" really mean? Without process management, you will lack mission-critical, C2C2C bloatware. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At EETimes, we have come to know how to actualize compellingly. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Without sufficient aggregation, deliverables are forced to become extensible. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. If you enhance compellingly, you may have to actualize intuitively. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable.