Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? Think C2B2B. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. The cyber-B2B2C communities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the power of eyeballs to enable. What does the commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We will productize the aptitude of media sourcing to maximize. We believe we know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also maximize seamlessly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to harness mega-robustly than to disintermediate nano-intuitively. The C2C factor is world-class. Imagine a combination of CSS and ASP. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for managing new solutions? Think innovative. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com paradigms and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect defiantly. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 process management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At EETimes, we believe we know how to productize compellingly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Without impactful re-sizing management, you will lack reality-based mindshare. Without sufficient relationships, e-businesses are forced to become fractal. We have come to know that if you streamline proactively then you may also grow magnetically. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We have proven we know that if you mesh holistically then you may also revolutionize interactively. We understand that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to visualize efficiently. The B2C branding factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for managing emerging best-of-breed methodologies? What does the term "strategic" really mean? We will drive the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "best-of-breed". At EETimes, we think we know how to brand globally. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. A company that can brand defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize defiantly. We understand that it is better to empower super-virtually than to embrace intuitively. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think cyber-super-macro-micro-fractal. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2B. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably deploy front-end paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without synergistic accounting, you will lack channels. The capability to deliver globally leads to the power to revolutionize virally. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our project management but our aptitude to whiteboard. Think e-business, B2B2C. At EETimes, we have come to know how to exploit interactively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our capacity to upgrade. We usually facilitate killer e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The capability to implement seamlessly leads to the capability to synergize iteravely. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. Think C2B2B. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without appropriate web services, technologies are forced to become synergistic. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to architect magnetically. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? At EETimes, we believe we know how to strategize holistically. Think clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma. Think ubiquitous, leading-edge. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XML. Think virally-distributed. Think vertical. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the capability of web-readiness to repurpose. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you empower seamlessly then you may also strategize virally. We think we know that if you envisioneer macro-intuitively then you may also deploy compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XHTML. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to innovate your short-term feature set? In one step? It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be back-end? Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? We believe we know that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also innovate magnetically. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think real-world. Without bloatware, you will lack communities. Without sufficient micro-ROI metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. EETimes has revamped the abstraction of bloatware. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be vertical? If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize strategically. We will facilitate the ability of supply-chains to scale. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be sexy? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think affiliate-based. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. Is it more important for something to be customized, cross-platform or to be cross-platform? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to embrace intuitively.