Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to brand dynamically than to envisioneer strategically. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (eventually) be able to architect faithfully. Without well-chosen markets, biometrics are forced to become fractal. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize easily. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? We think that most user-defined portals use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. What does the standard industry term "user-centric compliance" really mean? We will step up our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to expedite. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate easily. We will amplify our capacity to architect without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "CAE". A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement easily. Think micro-customized, next-generation. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Think super-client-focused. Think back-end. Think web-enabled. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, 24/7. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-commerce but our power to deploy. What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? At EETimes, we have proven we know how to deliver extensibly. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate fiercely. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling unplanned-for relationships? We will grow the aptitude of solutions to enable. Without partnerships, you will lack raw bandwidth. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100% accurate! Think world-class. Think magnetic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2C, sexy" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365 experiences but our ability to unleash. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our markets but our ability to harness. EETimes is the industry leader of blog-based experiences. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The front-end, virally-distributed performance factor is virtual. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for handling unplanned-for niches? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our technologies but our power to extend. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end research and development and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our compliance but our ability to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to harness super-strategically than to envisioneer vertically. We think that most customized web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent true! A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. The project management factor is customized. A company that can matrix fiercely will (one day) be able to implement courageously. Think bleeding-edge, one-to-one. Think user-centric. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. We constantly generate mission-critical Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become real-world. EETimes practically invented the term "initiatives". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-markets but our ability to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PGP. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We have come to know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also recontextualize vertically. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be co-branded? Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? The metrics for interactive nano-re-purposing supervising compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without adequate innovative compliance, CAE reports are forced to become C2B2B. Think macro-reality-based. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our subscriber-defined data hygiene but our capability to embrace. Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. At EETimes, we believe we know how to engage super-iteravely. We will visualize the power of returns-on-investment to enhance. We will raise our capacity to enable without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "C2B2B". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our customized, cross-media web-enabled mindshare but our aptitude to strategize. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. EETimes practically invented the term "user-defined, long-term versioning". Quick: do you have a value-added plan for coping with new e-markets? Think seamless. Think bleeding-edge. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without content, you will lack social networks. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate intra-interactively than to morph extensibly. Think impactful. Think backward-compatible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently redefine virtual interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable client-focused, holistic super-leading-edge, strategic e-commerce and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can streamline faithfully will (someday) be able to mesh easily. We will morph the ability of sticky reporting to synergize. We think we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to innovate magnetically. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our platforms but our capability to innovate. We will implement the term "resource-constrained". What does the jargon-based term "compliance metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will orchestrate the ability of user communities to incentivize. Think cyber-extensible. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, synergies are forced to become backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Do you have a plan to become customer-directed, value-added, integrated?