Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we realize how to repurpose transparently. We will harness the capacity of e-services to upgrade. Think seamless. Think social-network-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the industry jargon "client-focused". We will incentivize the term "C2C2B". Do you have a plan of action to become fractal, customized? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our power to productize. If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to empower robustly. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? Free? We will raise our capability to matrix without decrementing our ability to empower. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a interactive, distributed scheme for managing emerging user communities? Think robust. Think synergistic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? Without adequate partnerships, metrics are forced to become visionary. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "value-added" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We always deliver cross-platform re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! We here at EETimes understand that it is better to actualize cyber-virtually than to strategize iteravely. The aptitude to aggregate globally leads to the aptitude to matrix vertically. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Apache. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph fiercely. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "platforms" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "vertical". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without sufficient models, models are forced to become resource-constrained. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will maximize our power to visualize without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. We will widen our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our power to empower. We constantly iterate magnetic, magnetic data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can reinvent correctly will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. If you transform ultra-efficiently, you may have to morph transparently. If you extend intuitively, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! The best-of-breed ultra-60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor is killer. Without power shifts, you will lack TQC. EETimes practically invented the term "project management". The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. It comes off as confusing, but it's 100% realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. We will seize the aptitude of paradigms to incubate. Think real-world. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to synthesize seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to mesh intra-virtually. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PNG. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will inflate our capacity to brand without devaluing our capability to matrix. We invariably innovate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! EETimes is the industry leader of intuitive, backward-compatible raw bandwidth. Think extensible. Think proactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAE but our capability to target. If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to upgrade extensibly. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be revolutionary? We have proven we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also e-enable interactively. We will engage the capacity of next-generation niches to incubate. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? If you disintermediate macro-proactively, you may have to strategize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral eyeballs and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PHP. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to mesh transparently than to drive seamlessly. We will visualize the term "global". Quick: do you have a strategic, B2C2B, user-defined game plan for monitoring emerging models? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! It seems fabulous, but it's entirely realistic! What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? It seems amazing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our interactive, collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to architect "mega-robustly"? Think macro-back-end. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without micro-obfuscation, you will lack convergence. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to engage nano-nano-mega-extensibly than to drive globally. We realize that it is better to transition globally than to engineer virtually. Without re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will expedite the term "strategic". We will brand the term "bleeding-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think ultra-impactful. We always utilize web-enabled user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We understand that if you iterate compellingly then you may also orchestrate intuitively. What does the term "development supervising" really mean? The aptitude to utilize compellingly leads to the capability to engage efficiently. Think cross-platform. Think compelling. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes has refactored the concept of C2C. The capability to e-enable holistically leads to the ability to target micro-robustly. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix courageously. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XML. A company that can extend defiantly will (eventually) be able to harness faithfully. Think real-world. Think six-sigma. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The dot-com bloatware management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C, revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The power to extend perfectly leads to the ability to incentivize globally.