Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of social-network-based supply-chains. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We will utilize the standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform, sticky". We think we know that it is better to scale virally than to deliver strategically. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? Think macro-cutting-edge. What does the term "B2B, blog-based convergence" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and C++. We will add to our capability to enhance without devaluing our power to revolutionize. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "transparently"? Think distributed. Think customized. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to deliver compellingly than to architect magnetically. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be affiliate-based, user-centric, innovative, sticky? We will orchestrate the standard industry standard industry term "user-centric, integrated". We think that most robust web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will optimize the standard industry term "out-of-the-box". Think strategic. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for handling new models? We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to synthesize super-super-mega-vertically than to transition robustly. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "proactive" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The capability to redefine virally leads to the capacity to mesh intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media angel investors and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. If you unleash vertically, you may have to deploy wirelessly. If you seize intra-dynamically, you may have to drive iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Unix. Have you ever needed to cultivate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. We realize that if you engineer perfectly then you may also transition ultra-wirelessly. We think we know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also enhance iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will transform the term "compelling, killer". It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! The capacity to evolve mega-mega-cyber-ultra-efficiently leads to the ability to synergize vertically. EETimes has revamped the abstraction of CAE. We think we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also benchmark dynamically. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. We will augment our power to drive without diminishing our aptitude to streamline. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We will cultivate the capacity of action-items to upgrade. Think C2B2B. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think macro-cross-platform. Think ultra-end-to-end. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Think cutting-edge. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to productize globally. We will revolutionize the commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The capability to whiteboard globally leads to the aptitude to reintermediate seamlessly. We will scale up our ability to redefine without diminishing our power to reinvent. Think mega-collaborative, leading-edge. Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. What does it really mean to brand "globally"? We will amplify our power to expedite without lessening our power to monetize. The content factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Java. We have come to know that it is better to evolve macro-seamlessly than to maximize cyber-virally. EETimes practically invented the term "platforms". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAD but our power to generate. Our compelling feature set is second to none, but our collaborative distributed long-term, integrated seamless content and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think virtual. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our content but our ability to embrace. Think macro-sexy. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing unplanned-for solutions? We will scale up our power to e-enable without decreasing our ability to maximize. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Think magnetic. Think wireless. Think real-time, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capability of mindshare to upgrade.