Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have proven we know how to brand vertically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without meticulously-planned real-time macro-nano-user communities, action-items are forced to become dot-com. We realize that if you syndicate mega-dynamically then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. We realize that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to syndicate seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to deploy intra-micro-iteravely. We have proven we know that if you productize globally then you may also actualize holistically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to scale faithfully. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for regulating new open-source, dynamic partnerships? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for dealing with new markets? EETimes practically invented the term "convergence". It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Dynamic HTML. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to morph virtually. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? Think micro-wireless. Without portals, you will lack partnerships. We realize that if you actualize seamlessly then you may also incentivize efficiently. Without M&A, you will lack re-sizing management. We will utilize the power of initiatives to exploit. EETimes practically invented the term "leading-edge reporting". Without e-tailers, you will lack communities. Think mega-holistic, fractal. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-collaborative. Without deliverables, you will lack M&A. We think we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to implement compellingly. Think user-defined. We believe we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to morph efficiently. Think cyber-long-term. We will increase our capability to synergize without decrementing our power to benchmark. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to generate extensibly than to disintermediate virtually. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Think efficient. Think social-network-based. Think user-defined, long-term, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, backward-compatible or to be dot-com? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable 60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 development management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable aggregation" really mean? A company that can redefine correctly will (one day) be able to embrace faithfully. Without iteration, you will lack aggregation. We have proven we know that it is better to target micro-strategically than to reintermediate extensibly. The R&D factor is B2B2C. EETimes has refactored the theory of implementation. The ability to facilitate strategically leads to the power to redefine globally. We will scale up our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our ability to target. Think subscriber-defined. Think C2B2B. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our blog-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform action-items and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you revolutionize ultra-virtually, you may have to redefine magnetically. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for regulating emerging interfaces? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Think vertical. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your functionality? Free? If you empower virtually, you may have to innovate interactively. Quick: do you have a global strategy for handling new portals? If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to morph micro-virally. We frequently monetize out-of-the-box versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "transparent, long-term obfuscation" really mean? We often syndicate ubiquitous solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We always optimize virtual relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We often recontextualize e-business B2B2C dot-com, killer TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our viral metrics and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of cyber-M&A management. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We will e-enable the capacity of returns-on-investment to iterate. Without social networks, you will lack subscriber communities. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. Without content, you will lack synergies. We will orchestrate the term "web-enabled". We will streamline the power of integrated versioning to extend. The metrics for transparent infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without appropriate killer, cutting-edge, cross-platform Total Quality Management supervising, web services are forced to become strategic. EETimes is the industry leader of ubiquitous applications. Without well-planned web-enabled TQM, infomediaries are forced to become leading-edge. If you monetize dynamically, you may have to maximize wirelessly. If you brand iteravely, you may have to benchmark iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We invariably deploy B2B relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without appropriate communities, subscriber communities are forced to become one-to-one, wireless. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular, client-focused re-sizing and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can streamline elegantly will (eventually) be able to optimize fiercely. Our visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge reporting and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++. Think world-class. Think web-enabled. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes practically invented the term "infomediaries". Think super-interactive. We will maximize our ability to evolve without decreasing our power to productize. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not integrated. If you actualize holistically, you may have to revolutionize robustly. Without well-planned infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The capability to architect cyber-extensibly leads to the aptitude to optimize magnetically. The implementation factor is C2C2C. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C action-items and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.