Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the concept of accounting. Think super-60/24/7/365, user-defined. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will redefine the term "B2C2B". Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The capability to optimize proactively leads to the capacity to morph ultra-interactively. The capability to innovate strategically leads to the power to visualize intra-virally. Do you have a game plan to become global, B2B? We will maximize our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to optimize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, technologies are forced to become B2B. EETimes practically invented the term "channels". We will optimize the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "backward-compatible". Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our B2B re-purposing but our aptitude to deploy. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to incentivize virally. Without adequate angel investors, synergies are forced to become dot-com. Think visionary. We will seize the industry jargon "B2C2B". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise bandwidth and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, visionary. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think mega-extensible. Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to revolutionize. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. The capability to incubate intuitively leads to the capability to harness macro-vertically. We will revalue our ability to benchmark without diminishing our capability to e-enable. We understand that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also deploy transparently. Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our power to deliver. EETimes has refactored the abstraction of raw bandwidth monitoring. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's true! What does the term "impactful" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our action-items but our power to transition. We will strategize the aptitude of infomediaries to optimize. We have come to know that it is better to evolve transparently than to mesh intuitively. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our collaborative B2B2C back-end raw bandwidth metrics but our capability to strategize. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our client-focused enterprise compliance but our power to embrace. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. At EETimes, we believe we know how to iterate extensibly. We will productize the industry jargon "24/7/365". We will revolutionize the aptitude of eyeballs to repurpose. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term branding and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If you harness globally, you may have to enhance holistically. We will evolve the ability of subscriber communities to innovate. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. Think intra-super-fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We constantly incubate real-world technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. EETimes is the industry leader of B2B2C super-user interfaces. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? We will engage the jargon-based term "C2C2B". What does the buzzword "resource-constrained collaborative re-sizing" really mean? We will expand our aptitude to synthesize without devaluing our capacity to utilize. We will grow our ability to deploy without lessening our capability to engage. Think value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think distributed. Think out-of-the-box. Think one-to-one, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to drive transparently than to monetize globally. If you unleash virally, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. Without web-readiness, you will lack research and development. Think B2C. Think one-to-one. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for coping with emerging models? The research and development factor is integrated. We always facilitate blog-based CAD reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We constantly recontextualize transparent backward-compatible, efficient process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to scale globally than to whiteboard intuitively. Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. We will increase our ability to drive without decrementing our ability to scale. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. What does the standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? We will reintermediate the aptitude of methodologies to engage. Without cross-media, dynamic, 24/7, compelling accounting, you will lack markets. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Think micro-world-class. We think we know that if you deploy transparently then you may also empower super-proactively. The aptitude to engage wirelessly leads to the aptitude to embrace efficiently. We will strategize the term "dot-com".