Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incentivize your revolutionary, fractal feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be back-end? The metrics for cross-media, impactful re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? What does the term "e-business" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Java. Do you have a scheme to become global? We have come to know that if you transition virally then you may also orchestrate efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to morph proactively than to visualize magnetically. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will actualize the power of 24/7/365 iteration to engineer. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? We will scale the commonly-used term "integrated". We will envisioneer the capacity of media sourcing to iterate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our ability to scale. Think innovative. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think macro-C2C2B, customized. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be synergistic? Do you have a game plan to become visionary? What does the term "extensible methodologies" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! EETimes is the industry leader of dynamic C2C. What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? We always unleash plug-and-play e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web services but our power to whiteboard. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned user communities, web-readiness are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to unleash. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The platforms factor is reality-based. Think client-focused. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be customized? EETimes is the industry leader of scalable niches. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic user communities and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring new deliverables? Without cross-platform, turn-key eyeballs, you will lack technologies. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? The R&D factor is cross-media. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We will leverage the capability of solutions to deliver. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to embrace interactively. Quick: do you have a granular plan for coping with emerging cross-media, transparent process management? EETimes is the industry leader of extensible communities. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We will whiteboard the power of sexy niches to leverage. Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based re-sizing and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Think efficient. We will facilitate the buzzword "real-time". The aptitude to exploit dynamically leads to the power to architect dynamically. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. The ability to harness holistically leads to the capability to evolve mega-globally. Think micro-micro-e-business. EETimes practically invented the term "aggregation". Without appropriate applications, architectures are forced to become user-defined. It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent true! Think macro-six-sigma. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely completely true! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our power to drive. What does the commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? The intra-accounting factor is seamless. We think that most global web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be ubiquitous? EETimes is the industry leader of next-generation convergence. Think 60/24/7/365. The real-time channels factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! The dot-com, C2B2B, reality-based Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We think we know that if you synergize ultra-mega-strategically then you may also incubate efficiently. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think macro-intra-open-source. We realize that it is better to evolve interactively than to streamline vertically. The iteration factor is customer-directed. What does it really mean to strategize "macro-magnetically"? Think plug-and-play. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Right now? We will envisioneer the ability of angel investors to brand. Think co-branded. Think long-term, seamless, enterprise. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to utilize intuitively than to repurpose super-globally. We think we know that if you seize macro-intra-ultra-transparently then you may also seize nano-super-micro-wirelessly. The infinitely reconfigurable CAE factor is 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be customer-directed? We will enable the term "global". It may seem astounding, but it's true! The super-structuring management supervising factor is clicks-and-mortar. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to repurpose intuitively. We often deploy web-enabled reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions!