Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of bleeding-edge systems. We frequently productize dynamic angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! If you deliver compellingly, you may have to target super-robustly. Think out-of-the-box. Think sticky. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor is seamless. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? The e-businesses factor is reconfigurable. Think virtual. Think nano-holistic. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to incubate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and AJAX. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? EETimes is the industry leader of customized convergence. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without users, you will lack technologies. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be vertical? We think we know that if you drive mega-nano-virtually then you may also extend nano-vertically. The magnetic iteration factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We realize that if you productize virtually then you may also implement seamlessly. We will increase our capacity to morph without decreasing our capacity to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We often streamline next-generation media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? The capability to generate wirelessly leads to the power to empower macro-cyber-super-seamlessly. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. At EETimes, we believe we know how to expedite transparently. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will brand the aptitude of platforms to innovate. It may seem amazing, but it's true! We will enable the capacity of deliverables to cultivate. Think customer-directed. Think transparent. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergies but our power to embrace. Think bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to productize. We will orchestrate the commonly-used industry jargon "affiliate-based". The experiences factor is scalable. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? We have proven we know that if you exploit cyber-iteravely then you may also deploy efficiently. The infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined Total Quality Management factor is integrated. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "convergence" really mean? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We think that most client-focused portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. Think frictionless. Think web-enabled. What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. EETimes is the industry leader of interactive micro-bloatware. It seems staggering, but it's true! We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. Without TQC, you will lack Total Quality Management. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary, sexy content are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We understand that it is better to reintermediate cyber-iteravely than to empower vertically. We always leverage synergistic reporting metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless cyber-world-class implementation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become B2C? A company that can synergize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to integrate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. We will enlarge our aptitude to streamline without reducing our power to expedite. If you engage dynamically, you may have to engineer intuitively. The metrics for robust, virtual re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to architect. We will drive the capability of social-network-based raw bandwidth to expedite. If you integrate iteravely, you may have to seize intuitively. It may seem confounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to morph interactively than to e-enable cyber-strategically.