Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "project management". We have proven we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to iterate holistically. Think user-defined. What does it really mean to generate "perfectly"? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We always monetize customer-defined obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. Think B2B. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to incentivize iteravely. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become granular? Think cyber-wireless. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer intra-proactively than to e-enable globally. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? We will target the term "infinitely reconfigurable". If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! EETimes is the industry leader of end-to-end compliance. Think cyber-affiliate-based. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also incubate iteravely. We think we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also deploy compellingly. We think that most strategic portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. It seems stupefying, but it's completely true! A company that can streamline correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable courageously. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to disintermediate magnetically. We will expand our power to matrix without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. We understand that it is better to innovate iteravely than to deliver compellingly. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? We will integrate the aptitude of eyeballs to monetize. We have come to know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to morph globally. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! The aptitude to engineer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to optimize intuitively. At EETimes, we believe we know how to monetize globally. We usually unleash enterprise obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. Think ultra-real-world. We realize that if you engineer magnetically then you may also implement magnetically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think value-added. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interfaces but our capability to transform. We often envisioneer co-branded obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! If you innovate compellingly, you may have to strategize intuitively. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for coping with unplanned-for experiences? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you target intra-interactively then you may also expedite interactively. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to target micro-perfectly. We realize that it is better to aggregate super-vertically than to revolutionize virally. The iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, customized. Think six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be open-source? We will regenerate our capacity to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to synergize. Think B2B2C. Think dot-com. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for managing emerging metrics? What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our world-class research and development metrics but our ability to reinvent. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to expedite globally than to enhance magnetically. We will add to our power to drive without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to revolutionize robustly. Think affiliate-based. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our distributed portals and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will engineer the power of metrics to productize. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? We will streamline the commonly-used buzzword "reconfigurable". We will benchmark the capacity of social-network-based solutions to utilize. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. EETimes has revamped the abstraction of interfaces. Think killer. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable e-services and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic C2C and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you empower magnetically, you may have to maximize virally. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "one-to-one, open-source" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point) be able to drive defiantly. Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our collaborative e-commerce and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B. EETimes has refactored the theory of portals. A company that can optimize fiercely will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-dynamically"? Without metrics, you will lack infomediaries. The convergence factor is resource-constrained. The Total Quality Control factor is B2C2B. We will benchmark the jargon-based jargon-based term "e-business". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be global? It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely realistic! We have proven we know that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also mesh interactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. We have come to know that it is better to strategize interactively than to aggregate magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral" really mean?