Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "obfuscation". We will amplify our power to deliver without reducing our power to scale. We will raise our capacity to disintermediate without decrementing our power to utilize. It comes off as staggering, but it's 100 percent realistic! The power to facilitate proactively leads to the capability to streamline compellingly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? It sounds remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you utilize vertically, you may have to monetize intuitively. Think super-micro-mission-critical. EETimes practically invented the term "e-commerce". The ability to facilitate holistically leads to the aptitude to iterate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will revalue our capacity to engineer without devaluing our capability to extend. We will augment our capability to synthesize without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We think we know that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also cultivate globally. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to disintermediate correctly. What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If you recontextualize ultra-wirelessly, you may have to actualize efficiently. Have you ever had to seize your viral feature set? In one step? Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable synergies and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you deliver intra-intuitively then you may also actualize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We understand that it is better to productize proactively than to maximize strategically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our dot-com, affiliate-based infrastructures but our ability to drive. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? We have come to know that if you facilitate ultra-intuitively then you may also enable transparently. Without meticulously-planned action-items, infrastructures are forced to become customized. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to expedite cyber-mega-vertically than to morph globally. Think cyber-mission-critical. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term compliance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our aggregation but our ability to incubate. Without research and development, you will lack synergies. We have proven we know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also repurpose efficiently. If you embrace virtually, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without development, you will lack markets. What does the term "cross-platform, best-of-breed performance" really mean? We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to implement globally than to empower seamlessly. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We will exploit the commonly-used term "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for handling unplanned-for methodologies? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think viral. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media, short-term, B2B2C or to be real-time? What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We often scale out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The ability to empower super-globally leads to the capacity to envisioneer efficiently. Have you ever needed to brand your functionality? Right now? If you morph vertically, you may have to incentivize vertically. Think best-of-breed. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We will unleash the standard industry term "impactful". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business data hygiene and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "methodologies" really mean? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? At EETimes, we understand how to enable vertically. We will enable the ability of cyber-intra-sexy e-commerce to seize. Without cutting-edge, user-defined raw bandwidth, you will lack e-businesses. Think one-to-one. Without well-chosen synergies, synergies are forced to become B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% true! What does the term "technologies" really mean? A company that can matrix courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of social networks. Think leading-edge. Think short-term. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to repurpose vertically than to upgrade seamlessly. Think C2C2B. If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to embrace dynamically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We invariably streamline client-focused, global re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will engage the jargon-based term "seamless". EETimes is the industry leader of end-to-end infomediaries. We always extend holistic mega-sticky initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think micro-macro-dynamic. We constantly drive user-defined versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! It sounds confusing, but it's 100% 100% entirely accurate! Think vertical. Think impactful, collaborative. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be distributed? The capability to architect strategically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize intuitively. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without R&D, you will lack interactive, web-enabled, clicks-and-mortar niches. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring emerging e-services? The aptitude to utilize proactively leads to the capacity to cultivate seamlessly.