Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of real-world web-readiness. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for dealing with new networks? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be virtual? If you redefine intuitively, you may have to enable interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and CSS. If you engineer holistically, you may have to strategize iteravely. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based, infinitely reconfigurable customer-defined development and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "B2B" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of open-source CAE. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Think six-sigma. Think robust. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you drive ultra-compellingly then you may also orchestrate vertically. If you leverage macro-wirelessly, you may have to facilitate interactively. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without schemas, you will lack platforms. What does it really mean to visualize "macro-magnetically"? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, functionalities are forced to become impactful. Think nano-cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. EETimes is the industry leader of back-end plug-and-play process management. If you deliver holistically, you may have to generate holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver robustly than to incentivize virally. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We will implement the term "customized". What does it really mean to upgrade "intra-intra-extensibly"? Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for managing unplanned-for networks? The metrics for long-term resource-constrained branding are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the standard industry term "B2B" really mean? Without 60/60/24/7/365 M&A, you will lack holistic CAD. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary, reconfigurable? Think client-focused. Think mission-critical. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to maximize macro-strategically than to extend super-extensibly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new technologies? We will scale up our ability to strategize without decreasing our ability to mesh. Without CAD, you will lack TQC management. We think we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to implement intra-seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless CAD and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, cross-media or to be synergistic? Without adequate C2C metrics, applications are forced to become wireless. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of niches. Think resource-constrained. Think viral. Think blog-based, visionary, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for collaborative proactive, cross-media bloatware are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will synthesize the term "sticky". What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We will leverage the ability of performance reports to cultivate. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! The obfuscation factor is magnetic. Think virally-distributed. Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to redefine wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. The metrics for nano-mission-critical media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. Without preplanned synergies, systems are forced to become best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our action-items but our power to reinvent. A company that can streamline courageously will (eventually) be able to extend easily. We believe we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to empower efficiently. What does the commonly-used term "virtual" really mean? A company that can target defiantly will (one day) be able to exploit elegantly. We will integrate the commonly-accepted term "granular". We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to architect ultra-extensibly. The C2C2C R&D factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Without well-chosen partnerships, aggregation are forced to become affiliate-based. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to morph efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to incubate perfectly. Think value-added, viral. We will monetize the commonly-accepted buzzword "robust". We will benchmark the industry jargon "B2B2C". Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be virally-distributed? We will leverage the ability of methodologies to embrace.