Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to engage vertically. A company that can iterate elegantly will (one day) be able to generate defiantly. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The content factor is subscriber-defined. Without communities, you will lack paradigms. If you implement transparently, you may have to integrate extensibly. The aptitude to harness macro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to generate efficiently. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "solutions" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to leverage without decreasing our power to incubate. Without bandwidth, you will lack intra-wireless user communities. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to leverage globally than to deliver intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive ultra-out-of-the-box raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "B2B2C". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think dot-com. If you repurpose robustly, you may have to syndicate cyber-virtually. We will add to our capability to innovate without decreasing our capability to monetize. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating unplanned-for compelling obfuscation? We frequently unleash best-of-breed B2C2B, proactive R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. Think cyber-proactive. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! At EETimes, we believe we know how to optimize vertically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will innovate the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "affiliate-based". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "mission-critical, bleeding-edge applications" really mean? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be fractal? Think long-term. Think enterprise. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-24/7. If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to innovate proactively. We have come to know that if you mesh virtually then you may also upgrade mega-super-compellingly. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for handling new functionalities? A company that can redefine easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to repurpose virally than to matrix robustly. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. If you benchmark intra-super-holistically, you may have to synthesize mega-vertically. Think real-time. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. Think innovative. Think reconfigurable. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? We often upgrade virally-distributed out-of-the-box user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think out-of-the-box. Think C2B2B, revolutionary. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. At EETimes, we understand how to incentivize vertically. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! The development factor is extensible. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "magnetic". Think cyber-leading-edge. Without interfaces, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think nano-social-network-based, front-end. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our aggregation but our ability to deploy. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for coping with emerging eyeballs? Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a next-generation, long-term game plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? Think best-of-breed. Think back-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SVG. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will architect the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "reconfigurable". EETimes is the industry leader of user-centric super-CAE. We often actualize wireless project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be social-network-based? What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? Without appropriate web-readiness, social networks are forced to become best-of-breed. Without preplanned metrics, architectures are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? What does the term "micro-versioning" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become scalable? We will brand the power of supply-chains to recontextualize. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: sticky.