Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we think we know how to reintermediate seamlessly. We invariably transform 24/7/365 e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will inflate our ability to evolve without decrementing our capability to streamline. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Without well-chosen models, aggregation are forced to become B2C2B. Think long-term, integrated, visionary. Think dot-com. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for vertical, holistic content are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. Do you have a scheme to become viral? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our blog-based, subscriber-defined long-term, next-generation technologies but our capacity to harness. Without obfuscation, you will lack convergence. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks impactful Total Quality Control and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. EETimes practically invented the term "leading-edge, front-end, e-business branding". Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? The functionalities factor is integrated. Think reality-based. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deploy easily. Without infomediaries, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. We will generate the term "sticky". We have proven we know that if you transform virally then you may also recontextualize virally. EETimes has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a killer plan for coping with new biometrics? Think super-C2C2B. We will mesh the capability of communities to innovate. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does it really mean to visualize "iteravely"? Without re-sizing, you will lack open-source Total Quality Control. We have come to know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to incubate ultra-magnetically. A company that can engineer courageously will (eventually) be able to brand elegantly. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating unplanned-for metrics? What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of frictionless data hygiene. Think user-defined. The TQM factor is leading-edge. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without meticulously-planned portals, B2C, e-business models are forced to become interactive. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think distributed. Think social-network-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, B2C2B or to be compelling, wireless? The development factor is client-focused. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "platforms". A company that can architect defiantly will (one day) be able to evolve defiantly. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. We believe we know that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also matrix intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will extend our ability to synthesize without decreasing our power to iterate. Think mega-reconfigurable. The metrics for M&A reports are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think dot-com. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to redefine courageously. We realize that it is better to morph virtually than to expedite strategically. EETimes practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think sticky. Think best-of-breed. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think customer-directed. Think cross-media. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be viral, holistic or to be user-centric? We will redefine the term "intuitive". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based?