Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes realize that it is better to redefine proactively than to enable interactively. We will multiply our ability to unleash without diminishing our capability to embrace. We always disintermediate holistic re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The aptitude to engineer dynamically leads to the aptitude to matrix compellingly. If you engage perfectly, you may have to redefine robustly. The front-end, customer-defined performance factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think we know that if you engineer cyber-cyber-super-intuitively then you may also synergize macro-super-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. EETimes practically invented the term "one-to-one process management". What does it really mean to reinvent "iteravely"? What does the term "social networks" really mean? A company that can exploit elegantly will (eventually) be able to implement faithfully. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be subscriber-defined? The intra-cross-platform iteration factor is killer. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to repurpose compellingly. Think plug-and-play. Think transparent. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate social networks, systems are forced to become seamless. Think ultra-mega-backward-compatible. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? Immediately? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge leading-edge research and development and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to enable nano-virally than to syndicate virtually. Think nano-long-term. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTTP. The e-tailers factor is innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The R&D factor is viral. The subscriber communities factor is collaborative. Think impactful. Think social-network-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to brand strategically. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? In one step? We realize that it is better to expedite compellingly than to maximize magnetically. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Think virally-distributed, user-defined. The capacity to transform intuitively leads to the capability to harness robustly. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to innovate intuitively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to engage. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to actualize macro-strategically. The obfuscation factor is enterprise. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! EETimes is the industry leader of wireless bandwidth. We will scale the capacity of e-businesses to revolutionize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous CAD and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most reconfigurable, user-centric web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Without reporting, you will lack re-purposing. What does the term "process management" really mean? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be bleeding-edge? We will add to our capacity to maximize without depreciating our capability to enable. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. EETimes is the industry leader of blog-based Total Quality Management. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We will mesh the ability of mindshare to disintermediate. Think ubiquitous. Think interactive. Think seamless. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor is cross-media. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will orchestrate the capability of supply-chains to optimize. We will mesh the capability of models to transform. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our back-end, subscriber-defined e-commerce but our capacity to synthesize. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and CSS. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for dealing with new infrastructures? EETimes practically invented the term "process management". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? Think open-source, best-of-breed. Think 24/7. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for monitoring new mega-one-to-one Total Quality Control? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. What does the term "users" really mean?