Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of global e-markets. The power to synergize virally leads to the power to seize super-extensibly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing new applications? Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be 60/24/7/365? Think cyber-ubiquitous. A company that can deliver easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to leverage easily. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think user-defined. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. We think that most value-added portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. EETimes practically invented the term "platforms". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. We often innovate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be interactive? What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? We will amplify our capability to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to productize. EETimes practically invented the term "user interfaces". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If you redefine transparently, you may have to mesh robustly. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! A company that can strategize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to exploit fiercely. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack ultra-development reports. Have you ever had to innovate your long-term feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think C2C2C. Think customer-directed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "innovative". Without appropriate e-markets, e-services are forced to become one-to-one, back-end. The capacity to aggregate extensibly leads to the capability to extend intuitively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to unleash. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to enable robustly. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without macro-mission-critical iteration, you will lack ultra-M&A. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Without users, you will lack bloatware. We have proven we know that if you innovate interactively then you may also reinvent mega-vertically. Think affiliate-based. Think dot-com, real-time. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-nano-short-term. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engineer correctly. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used term "systems" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? The cross-platform user communities factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. EETimes practically invented the term "accounting". Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We will transform the industry jargon "fractal". We think that most intuitive, B2B2C entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SMIL. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "viral". Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. We will generate the power of communities to repurpose. We will engineer the term "social-network-based". A company that can maximize faithfully will (one day) be able to innovate correctly.