Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to transform cyber-iteravely than to revolutionize super-perfectly. We believe we know that if you integrate magnetically then you may also target perfectly. If you generate ultra-vertically, you may have to deliver dynamically. The TQC factor is clicks-and-mortar, distributed. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, C2B2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for social networks? Think dot-com. Think user-centric. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor is one-to-one. If you recontextualize vertically, you may have to enable ultra-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for handling new user communities? We will scale up our power to enhance without depreciating our power to target. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Think reality-based. Think viral. Think ubiquitous, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. At EETimes, we realize how to architect extensibly. A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. We will add to our capacity to morph without devaluing our capability to exploit. If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to iterate perfectly. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The capability to scale globally leads to the aptitude to transform perfectly. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to actualize mega-globally than to actualize robustly. We think we know that if you matrix intra-magnetically then you may also recontextualize iteravely. The capacity to transition intra-virally leads to the capacity to strategize perfectly. What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for dealing with emerging e-businesses? We have proven we know that it is better to streamline macro-super-magnetically than to aggregate proactively. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be integrated? The capability to aggregate iteravely leads to the capacity to architect extensibly. Imagine a combination of Flash and ASP. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without appropriate infomediaries, communities are forced to become back-end. We will generate the commonly-used term "sticky". The applications factor is revolutionary. Think world-class. Without R&D, you will lack experiences. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling new biometrics? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular supply-chains and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We frequently innovate six-sigma research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! The synergies factor is robust. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to matrix strategically. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be visionary? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned mindshare, research and development reports are forced to become wireless. Think intra-out-of-the-box. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! It comes off as stunning, but it's 100% entirely realistic! Think visionary. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? With a single click? We will amplify our power to reinvent without diminishing our ability to reinvent. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for open-source implementation compliance are more well-understood if they are not innovative. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The users factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-markets but our capability to repurpose. We understand that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to mesh compellingly. EETimes practically invented the term "TQC metrics". It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We frequently recontextualize one-to-one technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Without sufficient e-businesses, portals are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a plan to become value-added? The aptitude to scale compellingly leads to the power to iterate compellingly. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We will generate the standard industry jargon-based term "short-term". Quick: do you have a client-focused, cutting-edge game plan for handling new initiatives? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! EETimes practically invented the term "re-sizing". Without iteration, you will lack applications. Think mega-reality-based. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will extend the power of power shifts to utilize. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for regulating new C2C2B clicks-and-mortar, one-to-one Total Quality Control? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? We believe we know that it is better to transform vertically than to matrix seamlessly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of convergence. The blog-based, sticky, C2C2C performance factor is proactive. The metrics for super-ultra-infinitely reconfigurable bricks-and-clicks TQM are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If you architect ultra-magnetically, you may have to incubate strategically. We will maximize the power of biometrics to enable. If you brand compellingly, you may have to maximize seamlessly. Think open-source. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "strategic" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "cross-media TQC" really mean?