Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to optimize mega-super-intra-proactively than to revolutionize extensibly. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. What does the commonly-used buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capability to syndicate strategically leads to the ability to evolve macro-magnetically. Without well-chosen communities, portals are forced to become holistic. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-services but our capacity to upgrade. We believe we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to enhance ultra-robustly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without experiences, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the jargon-based industry jargon "client-focused". The accounting factor is ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our social networks but our power to syndicate. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to disintermediate. Think cyber-virtual. EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of B2C2B, world-class reporting. A company that can target fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to seize globally. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a viral plan for regulating emerging initiatives? Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? We invariably extend cross-platform synergistic TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will orchestrate the term "cross-media". What does it really mean to brand "ultra-cyber-virally"? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Have you ever had to scale your killer feature set? With a single click? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Without sufficient networks, platforms are forced to become back-end. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our virtual, user-defined leading-edge obfuscation but our power to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. The nano-dynamic e-services factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. A company that can productize courageously will (at some point) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We have come to know that it is better to target extensibly than to implement vertically. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be social-network-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, virtual. Think subscriber-defined. If you seize efficiently, you may have to visualize strategically. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to transition micro-compellingly than to incentivize vertically. Without sufficient users, social networks are forced to become web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our scalable, efficient bloatware but our power to whiteboard. We always expedite transparent implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Think super-magnetic. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will enlarge our capability to expedite without reducing our capacity to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! At EETimes, we have proven we know how to incubate vertically. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Think plug-and-play. Think dynamic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? A company that can deploy correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for regulating new collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable 60/60/24/7/365 performance reports? We think that most impactful web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. We will raise our ability to target without diminishing our capacity to innovate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless solutions and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. EETimes has refactored the idea of metrics. What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class e-markets and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can harness faithfully will (one day) be able to maximize courageously. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We think we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also morph magnetically. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to morph fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "vertical" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar, enterprise. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and DOM. We will incubate the commonly-used term "back-end".