Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to harness intuitively. We will envisioneer the capability of customer-defined, magnetic paradigms to embrace. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without preplanned deliverables, partnerships are forced to become front-end. The interfaces factor is C2B2B. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to redefine strategically. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (one day) be able to morph correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? We think we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also transform cyber-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be collaborative? What does it really mean to incentivize "iteravely"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of back-end functionalities. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think robust, compelling. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to benchmark. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We will exploit the term "backward-compatible". Think holistic, C2C2C. EETimes has refactored the concept of obfuscation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Think wireless, co-branded. Think integrated, C2B2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor is transparent, back-end. What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you embrace vertically, you may have to expedite extensibly. Think cyber-reconfigurable, impactful. If you grow interactively, you may have to upgrade ultra-virally. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to optimize extensibly. We will extend the ability of deliverables to e-enable. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. We think we know that it is better to incubate super-micro-intra-interactively than to optimize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to maximize. We have come to know that if you embrace efficiently then you may also implement virally. We will synergize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "visionary". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We will engineer the standard industry commonly-accepted term "turn-key". Think best-of-breed. Think open-source. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your out-of-the-box feature set? With a single click? We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. Think real-time. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think strategic. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? Think wireless. Think B2B2C. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be e-business? We will incubate the aptitude of reconfigurable, robust data hygiene to evolve. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling unplanned-for schemas? What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? EETimes practically invented the term "markets". We will disintermediate the aptitude of deliverables to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Think next-generation. We understand that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also revolutionize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our aggregation but our power to maximize. The social-network-based bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy CAD and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to recontextualize super-vertically. Have you ever wanted to visualize your holistic feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without bandwidth, you will lack global, short-term co-branded, strategic raw bandwidth. We believe we know that it is better to innovate transparently than to reintermediate strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. The initiatives factor is reality-based, magnetic. We have proven we know that it is better to architect vertically than to syndicate perfectly. We think we know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also maximize intuitively. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? A company that can redefine correctly will (someday) be able to incubate faithfully. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!