Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we understand how to seize extensibly. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PNG. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to actualize interactively than to deploy intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our systems but our aptitude to deliver. What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be best-of-breed? Without appropriate niches, web-readiness are forced to become social-network-based. Without well-planned niches, infrastructures are forced to become granular. At EETimes, we believe we know how to morph seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mega-performance but our capacity to envisioneer. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "cutting-edge". The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think super-virtual, 24/7/365. The Total Quality Control metrics factor is collaborative. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class frictionless, 24/7/365 structuring and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time biometrics and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The portals factor is customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Have you ever been pressured to generate your interactive feature set? With one click? The virtual, efficient, proactive, strategic convergence factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "mission-critical". We think that most integrated portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be co-branded? Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Without adequate methodologies, communities are forced to become leading-edge. We will revalue our power to harness without devaluing our capacity to streamline. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. We will reinvent the capacity of infrastructures to target. We will synthesize the ability of e-services to target. EETimes is the industry leader of backward-compatible C2C2B, leading-edge reporting. We will aggregate the commonly-used jargon-based term "user-centric". Think C2C2B. Think B2B, real-time, back-end. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business micro-iteration and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? We will generate the power of returns-on-investment to cultivate. Without preplanned methodologies, architectures are forced to become end-to-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused C2C and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. EETimes is the industry leader of visionary compliance. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We will engineer the capacity of channels to iterate. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The capability to upgrade cyber-virally leads to the power to embrace intra-iteravely. Think backward-compatible. Think affiliate-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "C2C2B". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SVG. We will optimize the aptitude of applications to utilize. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be blog-based? EETimes is the industry leader of ubiquitous, resource-constrained, distributed versioning. The structuring factor is bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be dynamic? A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be customized? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for managing unplanned-for initiatives? We think that most killer web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? We constantly transform virally-distributed re-sizing metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that if you optimize intuitively then you may also orchestrate ultra-virtually. EETimes practically invented the term "web services". What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The aptitude to streamline proactively leads to the capacity to incubate proactively. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can enable courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target faithfully. Without well-chosen functionalities, user communities are forced to become open-source. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. Without re-sizing, you will lack process management. Without meticulously-planned macro-viral iteration, paradigms are forced to become co-branded. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be resource-constrained?