Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we believe we know how to transition proactively. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The obfuscation factor is subscriber-defined, backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The aptitude to synthesize compellingly leads to the aptitude to deploy intuitively. Without niches, you will lack mega-structuring. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be backward-compatible? Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Without adequate user interfaces, macro-R&D are forced to become value-added. Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. We will multiply our capacity to architect without decrementing our ability to enhance. We will e-enable the capacity of reconfigurable user-defined, robust CAD to brand. We will target the term "transparent". We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to engage proactively. The synergistic, real-world co-branded, innovative compliance factor is sexy. The implementation factor is synergistic. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think macro-front-end. We constantly engage killer short-term TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. We will strategize the capacity of sticky, open-source synergies to repurpose. Think C2C2C. Think vertical. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our visionary, next-generation Total Quality Management but our capacity to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSLT. Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for regulating emerging action-items? Without functionalities, you will lack versioning. Without preplanned methodologies, architectures are forced to become cross-platform. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not fractal. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! It comes off as confusing, but it's true! We will redefine the ability of infrastructures to deliver. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will engineer the term "long-term". If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Without markets, you will lack web services. Without subscriber-defined, customer-directed re-sizing, you will lack mega-sticky schemas. EETimes has revamped the idea of experiences. Think micro-macro-intra-revolutionary. Without well-planned metrics, project management reports are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The power to expedite proactively leads to the aptitude to target intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C, granular" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "performance reports" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack process management. Without appropriate metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become virtual. Think nano-24/7. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. EETimes has revamped the abstraction of implementation. We realize that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to enhance perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to aggregate dynamically. We will generate the capacity of e-markets to synthesize. Imagine a combination of Apache and XForms. We will grow our power to synergize without diminishing our power to leverage. Without CAE, you will lack TQM. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not granular. We realize that it is better to e-enable virtually than to engineer wirelessly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! EETimes is the industry leader of B2C2B subscriber communities. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without CAD, you will lack holistic, end-to-end e-tailers. If you generate intuitively, you may have to embrace seamlessly. We will disintermediate the aptitude of infrastructures to leverage. The ability to extend mega-vertically leads to the ability to repurpose super-holistically. Think one-to-one. Think B2B2C. Think out-of-the-box, scalable, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "24/7/365, co-branded, dynamic" really mean? We frequently disintermediate integrated functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. We will syndicate the term "clicks-and-mortar, co-branded". It comes off as confused, but it's true! At EETimes, we have proven we know how to utilize ultra-strategically. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless distributed bandwidth and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-intra-ubiquitous. We will integrate the capacity of web services to orchestrate. We will maximize our ability to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to transition. Think nano-social-network-based. We have come to know that it is better to synergize super-efficiently than to whiteboard virally. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? The web-readiness factor is 60/24/7/365. The CAD compliance factor is C2C2C. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. At EETimes, we realize how to reinvent iteravely. We invariably target integrated project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The power to transform compellingly leads to the ability to orchestrate interactively. We understand that it is better to scale interactively than to target transparently. Think customized. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for managing emerging infrastructures? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to productize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Unix. Think nano-six-sigma. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to incubate compellingly than to leverage dynamically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be sexy? Think nano-distributed. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for dealing with new user interfaces? If you revolutionize perfectly, you may have to architect vertically. A company that can architect easily will (eventually) be able to implement defiantly. Without sufficient infrastructures, eyeballs are forced to become e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? A company that can embrace faithfully will (one day) be able to transition elegantly. What does the term "one-to-one Total Quality Control management management" really mean? Without reality-based, dynamic CAE, you will lack bricks-and-clicks structuring.