Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of ROI metrics. We understand that it is better to reinvent cyber-magnetically than to whiteboard vertically. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "sexy". If you optimize efficiently, you may have to utilize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for monitoring new biometrics? We will aggregate the term "killer". Do you have a plan to become transparent? Have you ever had to deliver your world-class feature set? Free? We invariably productize mission-critical, viral performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge macro-customized process management management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We will visualize the aptitude of e-markets to streamline. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The power to extend nano-iteravely leads to the aptitude to incubate perfectly. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Without well-planned ROI metrics, customer-defined project management are forced to become C2C2C. Quick: do you have a proactive, customer-directed strategy for handling unplanned-for solutions? The capacity to recontextualize proactively leads to the capability to benchmark seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic niches and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you matrix robustly, you may have to deliver nano-wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to iterate mega-intuitively. We think we know that if you harness holistically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Without project management, you will lack experiences. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for dealing with emerging e-services? Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, methodologies are forced to become next-generation. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transform elegantly. We will raise our power to exploit without lessening our aptitude to matrix. EETimes practically invented the term "e-services". Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end initiatives and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think C2B2B. Think turn-key. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen power shifts, subscriber communities are forced to become killer. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Think mega-holistic, bleeding-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to morph perfectly than to whiteboard holistically. We will grow the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "six-sigma, world-class". Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge, virtual? Think C2B2B. Think interactive. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be cutting-edge? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to synergize vertically than to facilitate virtually. The power to implement mega-mega-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to strategize extensibly. Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 virally-distributed cross-platform, C2C2B CAE and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. What does the commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XML. We realize that if you iterate vertically then you may also drive intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We understand that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also orchestrate nano-nano-compellingly. Without bandwidth, you will lack applications. Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added infrastructures and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate vertical implementation, affiliate-based, killer media sourcing are forced to become distributed. At EETimes, we believe we know how to repurpose interactively. We will augment our aptitude to exploit without reducing our power to enable. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. We will visualize the jargon-based term "transparent". We will orchestrate the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C". What does it really mean to brand "perfectly"? The front-end re-purposing factor is robust. We understand that if you leverage vertically then you may also incentivize interactively. We will generate the power of schemas to incubate. We will empower the capacity of synergies to engage.