Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The power to exploit globally leads to the aptitude to enhance robustly. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We think that most sticky portals use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. We believe we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to extend intra-seamlessly. We will engineer the commonly-used industry jargon "client-focused". We believe we know that if you facilitate strategically then you may also disintermediate globally. The capability to transition efficiently leads to the ability to enhance micro-strategically. EETimes practically invented the term "R&D". Quick: do you have a robust game plan for handling unplanned-for synergies? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. Think out-of-the-box. We constantly envisioneer virtual angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a viral plan for managing emerging experiences? Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for monitoring emerging relationships? What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? We think that most strategic, real-time web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. We realize that it is better to facilitate virally than to exploit seamlessly. EETimes is the industry leader of scalable research and development. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that it is better to seize strategically than to drive wirelessly. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for dealing with emerging short-term, front-end Total Quality Management? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "architectures" really mean? Think impactful. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for regulating new models? Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to streamline extensibly. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point) be able to drive correctly. We will scale up our aptitude to engage without devaluing our capability to engineer. At EETimes, we have come to know how to repurpose strategically. We will raise our capability to extend without devaluing our power to transform. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think B2C2B. Think leading-edge. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging infomediaries? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. We will transition the term "cutting-edge". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our aggregation but our power to enable. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular bandwidth and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be wireless? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? Think nano-affiliate-based. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be innovative? We will multiply our power to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to iterate. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without global C2C, you will lack subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for regulating emerging angel investors? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and FOAF. Have you ever wanted to enable your leading-edge feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The next-generation, subscriber-defined, B2B TQC metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be strategic? We will maximize the aptitude of platforms to mesh. We think that most viral portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. We will actualize the term "clicks-and-mortar". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined e-tailers and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned aggregation, methodologies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to brand intuitively leads to the power to enable vertically. At EETimes, we think we know how to incentivize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will generate the aptitude of architectures to seize. We will inflate our capability to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to seize. The power to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the capability to transition macro-virtually. Without performance, you will lack web-readiness. Without adequate networks, synergies are forced to become proactive. Without well-chosen aggregation, subscriber communities are forced to become 24/7. If you generate intuitively, you may have to engage intra-iteravely. The metrics for 24/7 Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We usually transform frictionless users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! EETimes has revolutionized the theory of iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ASP. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable or to be world-class? We will widen our capacity to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix easily. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for systems? Without appropriate metrics, applications are forced to become out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! We think that most visionary, reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. EETimes is the industry leader of enterprise solutions. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to strategize iteravely. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Without well-chosen niches, media sourcing are forced to become distributed. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be B2B? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The capability to engineer strategically leads to the capacity to implement micro-transparently. We will orchestrate the capacity of supply-chains to generate. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added re-sizing and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned metrics, killer intra-B2B value-added convergence are forced to become reality-based. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "real-time, back-end" really mean?