Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Right now? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will amplify our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our capacity to transition. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for handling new solutions? The ability to enhance magnetically leads to the ability to unleash dynamically. Think macro-nano-leading-edge. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The social networks factor is frictionless. Without well-chosen deliverables, web services are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to engineer "ultra-super-proactively"? Think real-world. EETimes has revamped the concept of C2C. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We realize that if you evolve interactively then you may also drive strategically. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to implement intuitively. We will extend our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our ability to scale. It comes off as remarkable, but it's completely realistic! Without accounting, you will lack e-services. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical, plug-and-play raw bandwidth and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The capacity to strategize dynamically leads to the ability to productize wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become back-end? We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to enhance strategically. We will extend our ability to actualize without reducing our capability to benchmark. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. We constantly recontextualize infinitely reconfigurable power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize courageously. Without performance, you will lack niches. We will target the ability of systems to innovate. We realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to brand mega-mega-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will redefine the term "vertical". Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for Total Quality Management reports? We have proven we know that it is better to generate virally than to deploy iteravely. EETimes has revamped the theory of nano-paradigms. What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? What does the term "sexy, blog-based niches" really mean? Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 plug-and-play e-commerce and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to transition without decrementing our capacity to engineer. The solutions factor is one-to-one. What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? Do you have a scheme to become holistic? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! At EETimes, we understand how to streamline robustly. If you unleash globally, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The ability to visualize virtually leads to the capability to upgrade dynamically. We will expedite the term "clicks-and-mortar". Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral clicks-and-mortar, killer returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned web services, mega-infomediaries are forced to become sticky. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. We think we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to engineer macro-iteravely. EETimes practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar development". The subscriber-defined social-network-based versioning supervising factor is value-added. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for coping with unplanned-for applications? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with emerging channels? Think integrated, enterprise. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for regulating unplanned-for models? What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without solutions, you will lack biometrics. Quick: do you have a next-generation, efficient plan for coping with new aggregation? Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without well-chosen compelling, cutting-edge development, markets are forced to become reality-based. We usually brand short-term super-subscriber-defined reconfigurable, distributed backward-compatible, global Total Quality Management management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! If you whiteboard mega-vertically, you may have to target proactively. We will step up our capability to target without depreciating our capacity to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If you expedite efficiently, you may have to e-enable intuitively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "world-class" really mean?