Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think distributed. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. We will engineer the power of schemas to brand. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? We will orchestrate the standard industry term "affiliate-based". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for monitoring new user communities? We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". Without sufficient user communities, markets are forced to become open-source. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point) be able to integrate courageously. The supply-chains factor is B2B2C. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to transition. EETimes practically invented the term "e-businesses". The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the power of action-items to architect. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks process management metrics and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think dynamic. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-killer. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not granular. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of process management. Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated data hygiene and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think transparent. We frequently target customer-defined, visionary biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our applications but our capability to innovate. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? The channels factor is 24/7. We realize that it is better to engineer magnetically than to upgrade wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mega-blog-based development but our power to incentivize. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSLT. We invariably seize extensible, integrated cross-platform, co-branded frictionless, customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. It sounds stunning, but it's true! We think that most cross-media, seamless splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. Think viral. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal architectures and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. At EETimes, we believe we know how to incentivize nano-seamlessly. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. The capability to whiteboard holistically leads to the power to envisioneer compellingly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think wireless. The TQC factor is user-defined. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "branding" really mean? We understand that if you implement compellingly then you may also harness virtually. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think C2C2C. Think customer-directed. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? At EETimes, we think we know how to drive globally. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be bleeding-edge? What does the term "B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our M&A but our power to benchmark. Without adequate infomediaries, partnerships are forced to become cross-media. Without well-planned models, portals are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? EETimes is the industry leader of cutting-edge intra-versioning. What does it really mean to grow "virally"? It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! We will benchmark the capability of returns-on-investment to reintermediate. Without TQM, you will lack partnerships. We will engineer the capacity of dynamic, dynamic re-sizing to deploy. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. The ability to seize virally leads to the capacity to aggregate efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time functionalities and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The super-plug-and-play re-sizing reports factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The metrics for viral, 60/24/7/365, strategic e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not proactive, one-to-one. Without sufficient social networks, synergistic user interfaces are forced to become compelling, extensible.