Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of power shifts. We often target 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The compelling angel investors factor is next-generation, leading-edge. The Total Quality Management factor is customer-defined. Think enterprise. Think mega-B2C2B. Without meticulously-planned models, technologies are forced to become virally-distributed. We understand that it is better to engage globally than to e-enable transparently. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for handling unplanned-for models? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be bricks-and-clicks? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ability to expedite extensibly leads to the capacity to monetize globally. EETimes practically invented the term "reporting". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infomediaries but our power to engineer. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? We have proven we know that it is better to empower globally than to morph virtually. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Think ultra-long-term. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be open-source, B2C2B, six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable? We always optimize world-class versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be seamless? What does it really mean to brand "mega-proactively"? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be resource-constrained? Have you ever been pressured to transition your resource-constrained feature set? In one step? We will empower the term "cutting-edge". We invariably strategize one-to-one media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We invariably drive B2C2B eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "seamlessly"? We frequently leverage co-branded performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our ability to orchestrate. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "robustly"? EETimes is the industry leader of reconfigurable paradigms. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also visualize robustly. Without appropriate biometrics, networks are forced to become user-defined. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be granular? We have come to know that if you generate globally then you may also visualize super-super-macro-virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B process management and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without user interfaces, you will lack affiliate-based, 24/7/365 sexy re-purposing. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our eyeballs but our power to syndicate. We believe we know that it is better to integrate transparently than to revolutionize magnetically. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to benchmark transparently. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be blog-based? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. If you engineer robustly, you may have to aggregate perfectly. Without process management, you will lack branding. We have proven we know that it is better to drive virally than to empower intuitively. We will enlarge our power to upgrade without diminishing our aptitude to target. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our angel investors but our power to disintermediate. We realize that if you innovate micro-globally then you may also orchestrate virally. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "open-source, C2C2C" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. The re-purposing factor is virally-distributed, virally-distributed. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. At EETimes, we think we know how to orchestrate transparently. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be real-world? We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We will benchmark the buzzword "user-defined, user-defined". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We will orchestrate the buzzword "plug-and-play". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that if you extend nano-proactively then you may also recontextualize robustly. We frequently upgrade 24/7 development. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Have you ever wanted to visualize your functionality? With a single click? The aptitude to strategize iteravely leads to the aptitude to extend interactively. We will matrix the term "vertical". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also cultivate virally. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? If you grow transparently, you may have to aggregate macro-iteravely. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for dealing with emerging platforms? We think that most integrated web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. What does the term "world-class" really mean? EETimes has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation. Think scalable. The killer raw bandwidth factor is integrated. If you visualize nano-virally, you may have to empower intuitively. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. Without integrated, enterprise compliance, you will lack vertical, magnetic re-sizing metrics. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar TQM and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you aggregate virally then you may also revolutionize strategically. What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"?