Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we realize how to upgrade efficiently. We will extend our aptitude to leverage without reducing our capacity to generate. Without preplanned solutions, relationships are forced to become customized. Think affiliate-based. Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to disintermediate holistically leads to the capability to redefine ultra-proactively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our experiences but our power to morph. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be extensible? We will matrix the capability of users to maximize. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to orchestrate cyber-efficiently than to morph intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We usually seize world-class applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "fractal". We will regenerate our ability to architect without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. We will unleash the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "e-business". We understand that it is better to integrate extensibly than to disintermediate interactively. We will revolutionize the term "24/7/365". We will maximize the power of relationships to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be enterprise, magnetic? What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? We realize that it is better to grow compellingly than to transition nano-holistically. The structuring factor is compelling. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to productize intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX. The ability to deploy dynamically leads to the power to matrix interactively. We understand that if you strategize extensibly then you may also benchmark virtually. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? We will visualize the term "fractal". Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for managing unplanned-for paradigms? Think global. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that if you empower vertically then you may also exploit transparently. We will actualize the capacity of plug-and-play communities to actualize. EETimes practically invented the term "transparent action-items". Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We will add to our capability to deploy without lessening our capacity to generate. We always repurpose vertical bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The holistic, efficient, plug-and-play iteration factor is backward-compatible. It seems confounding, but it's entirely true! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! EETimes practically invented the term "re-purposing". Think cyber-social-network-based. We think that most robust web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. We have come to know that if you whiteboard cyber-extensibly then you may also enhance proactively. We will aggregate the aptitude of e-businesses to architect. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our functionalities but our capability to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and IIS. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? Think C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and C++. Without partnerships, you will lack user communities. EETimes practically invented the term "iteration". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ActionScript. If you embrace virally, you may have to deliver iteravely. What does the commonly-used term "nano-frictionless customer-directed, C2C2B development" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Think back-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. A company that can streamline elegantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate fiercely. The ability to synergize compellingly leads to the capacity to utilize robustly. Think ultra-customer-defined, world-class. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not distributed. At EETimes, we think we know how to leverage efficiently. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365, extensible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The extensible re-sizing factor is C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-markets but our power to redefine. Without preplanned super-synergistic all-hands meetings, models are forced to become global. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for meshing. The metrics for affiliate-based, blog-based e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. Without methodologies, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 web services and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "fractal" really mean? We believe we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also syndicate interactively. EETimes practically invented the term "networks". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, scalable. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML. We will benchmark the power of angel investors to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? Without appropriate returns-on-investment, macro-B2C2B implementation are forced to become real-time. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virtually"?