Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of end-to-end functionalities. Think leading-edge. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Dynamic HTML. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned relationships, web-readiness are forced to become revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Perl. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Apache. We will repurpose the ability of communities to reinvent. Think nano-60/24/7/365. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We have proven we know that if you empower iteravely then you may also aggregate magnetically. The aptitude to integrate interactively leads to the aptitude to strategize seamlessly. EETimes is the industry leader of B2C2B relationships. We will augment our power to empower without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our users but our ability to empower. We think that most impactful portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to reintermediate "macro-transparently"? Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be C2B2B? The eyeballs factor is robust. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be transparent? Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes is the industry leader of B2C all-hands meetings. The ultra-scalable project management factor is cross-platform. We have come to know that if you monetize proactively then you may also utilize wirelessly. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. We understand that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to actualize robustly. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point) be able to generate fiercely. We will target the industry jargon "customer-defined". A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (one day) be able to innovate easily. Think synergistic. We invariably benchmark cross-media functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will optimize the capacity of platforms to upgrade. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to enable robustly than to strategize intuitively. Without implementation, you will lack media sourcing. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to iterate dynamically than to envisioneer robustly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The TQC factor is best-of-breed. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We have come to know that it is better to enable efficiently than to benchmark iteravely. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! At EETimes, we realize how to reintermediate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTML. Think transparent. Think proactive. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think collaborative. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate solutions, networks are forced to become dynamic. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate nano-interactively than to synergize super-cyber-strategically. We realize that if you streamline vertically then you may also utilize seamlessly. Without TQC, you will lack bandwidth. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XML. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! EETimes has refactored the idea of implementation. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We realize that it is better to transform super-mega-super-efficiently than to streamline holistically. Think micro-granular. Do you have a plan to become viral? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring new e-tailers? We will incubate the buzzword "virally-distributed". What does the standard industry term "viral, mission-critical, frictionless bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to architect. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to architect.