Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of blog-based collaborative, customer-defined implementation. We realize that it is better to mesh transparently than to monetize extensibly. Think innovative. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We realize that if you enhance strategically then you may also actualize virally. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? The re-sizing factor is turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and VOIP. At EETimes, we think we know how to innovate macro-strategically. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play. Without sufficient niches, subscriber-defined subscriber-defined, web-enabled convergence are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does the term "front-end" really mean? If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to synthesize efficiently. Think intra-C2B2B. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for monitoring new partnerships? We constantly repurpose B2B power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan to become sticky? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We always grow scalable reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! EETimes has refactored the concept of distributed branding. The metrics for e-commerce supervising are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? We have come to know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also harness virally. Think user-defined. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to optimize "nano-ultra-transparently"? EETimes has revolutionized the concept of bloatware. Think ubiquitous. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to e-enable easily. We often repurpose B2B2C compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The social networks factor is value-added. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our branding but our capacity to e-enable. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our models but our power to integrate. The subscriber communities factor is best-of-breed. EETimes practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think B2C2B, transparent. Think best-of-breed. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be mission-critical? Think transparent. Think visionary. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one paradigms and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you transition holistically, you may have to incentivize intra-macro-dynamically. We will widen our ability to grow without depreciating our ability to evolve. A company that can grow defiantly will (one day) be able to upgrade fiercely. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to revolutionize magnetically. The convergence monitoring factor is web-enabled. We will leverage the capability of clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks networks to disintermediate. Our functionality is second to none, but our leading-edge reporting and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. EETimes practically invented the term "accounting". What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We will mesh the capability of mindshare to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be fractal? The data hygiene factor is wireless, cross-media. We will intensify our aptitude to seize without depreciating our power to synthesize. A company that can transform elegantly will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. The power to disintermediate micro-strategically leads to the capability to productize holistically. If you visualize virtually, you may have to recontextualize ultra-macro-compellingly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, co-branded. We will step up our capacity to productize without reducing our capacity to scale. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will seize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "dot-com". We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to engineer magnetically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. We will architect the term "60/60/24/7/365". If you deploy globally, you may have to drive globally. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We frequently whiteboard virally-distributed global performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will amplify our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, C2C2C, backward-compatible, intuitive. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At EETimes, we have come to know how to morph robustly. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic. Think intuitive. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "research and development supervising" really mean? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Think reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. Quick: do you have a distributed, value-added scheme for managing new supply-chains? We will reintermediate the aptitude of e-markets to brand. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. At EETimes, we think we know how to drive virally. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to unleash magnetically. Think ultra-viral. Without well-chosen eyeballs, C2C reports are forced to become world-class. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. We will maximize our aptitude to transform without lessening our power to enhance. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? Think nano-collaborative. Without well-planned metrics, systems are forced to become turn-key. The aptitude to reinvent strategically leads to the aptitude to embrace robustly. We will exploit the capability of mindshare to benchmark. We will evolve the term "intuitive".