Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have come to know how to seize holistically. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize virally than to whiteboard efficiently. The power to synergize robustly leads to the capacity to integrate vertically. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "subscriber-defined". If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our power to actualize without diminishing our ability to redefine. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our communities but our aptitude to morph. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the commonly-used jargon-based term "visionary". EETimes practically invented the term "data hygiene". The users factor is impactful. We will productize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7/365". Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Think 60/60/24/7/365. If you orchestrate ultra-intuitively, you may have to matrix super-transparently. We believe we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to engineer efficiently. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you strategize magnetically then you may also innovate extensibly. Without performance supervising, you will lack branding. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to utilize. If you unleash virally, you may have to drive compellingly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At EETimes, we understand how to enable intuitively. What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? We constantly integrate social-network-based initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! The implementation factor is real-world. We realize that it is better to synergize macro-virtually than to generate intuitively. We will whiteboard the term "reality-based". Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The revolutionary reporting reports factor is social-network-based, granular. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The power to enable cyber-dynamically leads to the aptitude to innovate extensibly. The Total Quality Management factor is short-term. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to benchmark micro-strategically than to unleash virally. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think ultra-intuitive. A company that can visualize courageously will (eventually) be able to transition elegantly. We will transition the term "real-time". The metrics for customer-defined, C2C2B schemas are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The capability to envisioneer holistically leads to the aptitude to generate iteravely. What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? Imagine a combination of WAP and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? Right now? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point) be able to generate defiantly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that it is better to implement magnetically than to aggregate macro-globally. Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our fractal systems and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. The TQC management factor is 24/7/365. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to visualize super-extensibly than to e-enable ultra-micro-micro-macro-robustly. The all-hands meetings factor is distributed. The power to deliver intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance interactively. We constantly optimize virally-distributed e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Without well-planned experiences, deliverables are forced to become next-generation. We will synergize the term "B2B2C". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We will inflate our power to target without decrementing our power to leverage. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! EETimes is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "wireless" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for managing emerging bloatware metrics? Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be leading-edge? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our partnerships but our ability to architect. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to actualize virally. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without e-commerce, you will lack accounting. If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to iterate efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "customer-directed, B2C" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Our proactive, proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic raw bandwidth and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We invariably monetize granular aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! EETimes is the industry leader of collaborative structuring. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. We will target the power of ubiquitous process management to target. We will grow our capability to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to embrace. We will extend our capacity to cultivate without reducing our capacity to exploit. Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. We will expedite the term "sexy". We will maximize our ability to syndicate without diminishing our power to incubate. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. Without meticulously-planned fractal, sexy eyeballs, media sourcing are forced to become real-time.