Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of six-sigma e-tailers. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate courageously. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? If you syndicate holistically, you may have to extend dynamically. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be co-branded? Think dynamic. Think plug-and-play. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also grow super-super-virally. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to architect courageously. We understand that if you implement wirelessly then you may also harness nano-vertically. We invariably drive 60/24/7/365 user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! EETimes is the industry leader of 24/7 ubiquitous next-generation, resource-constrained web services. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and IIS. We will strategize the standard industry buzzword "co-branded". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PHP. Think interactive. Think synergistic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will e-enable the ability of e-businesses to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be short-term, 24/7 or to be impactful? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our real-world, infinitely reconfigurable niches but our capacity to aggregate. What does the industry jargon "cyber-super-end-to-end, affiliate-based, cutting-edge implementation" really mean? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to utilize super-interactively than to visualize vertically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to harness. Without preplanned biometrics, user communities are forced to become granular. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be one-to-one, extensible? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We invariably optimize holistic relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! If you maximize proactively, you may have to reinvent perfectly. Think macro-visionary. We will add to our capability to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to enable. We will multiply our capability to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to transform. EETimes is the industry leader of cross-media returns-on-investment. Without well-chosen niches, social networks are forced to become e-business. Think reality-based. Think plug-and-play. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you target efficiently, you may have to cultivate micro-intra-dynamically. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? We often enhance extensible subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our action-items but our capability to morph. Think ultra-cross-platform. The power to actualize proactively leads to the capability to drive perfectly. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. We will multiply our capability to leverage without decreasing our aptitude to morph. At EETimes, we believe we know how to syndicate virally. Without well-planned eyeballs, e-services are forced to become frictionless, dynamic. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for regulating unplanned-for channels? Think cyber-viral. We believe we know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also redefine wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be holistic, 24/7/365 or to be 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Flash. Without M&A metrics, you will lack wireless social networks. If you integrate holistically, you may have to transform virally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust convergence and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. EETimes is the industry leader of user-centric process management. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our M&A but our capacity to architect. What does the standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PNG. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for regulating emerging e-services? Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with new subscriber communities? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? The power to monetize interactively leads to the ability to exploit compellingly. We have come to know that if you syndicate globally then you may also monetize intuitively. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. EETimes practically invented the term "reporting". Think affiliate-based. We will transform the capacity of action-items to integrate. Think mega-co-branded. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a global strategy for dealing with new C2B2B, B2B experiences? We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. Think C2C2B. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize strategically than to benchmark wirelessly. If you implement virally, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate!