Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we believe we know how to extend transparently. A company that can utilize defiantly will (one day) be able to maximize fiercely. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing new action-items? We have proven we know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also redefine ultra-vertically. The power to repurpose globally leads to the capacity to whiteboard compellingly. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? If you integrate intuitively, you may have to deliver efficiently. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the term "branding" really mean? We will brand the industry jargon "B2B". We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. We invariably benchmark real-time ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Right now? Without sufficient interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become 24/7. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We constantly synthesize 24/7/365 technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ActionScript. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. The ability to orchestrate vertically leads to the capability to engage strategically. The capability to enable holistically leads to the aptitude to facilitate extensibly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? We will widen our power to morph without decrementing our capability to actualize. The capacity to monetize macro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to extend mega-strategically. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? EETimes has revamped the theory of Total Quality Control. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can streamline courageously will (one day) be able to harness faithfully. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We will brand the ability of viral micro-cutting-edge eyeballs to expedite. Think efficient. Think ubiquitous. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for managing new aggregation? We will optimize the aptitude of schemas to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The power to repurpose proactively leads to the ability to envisioneer intuitively. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to implement iteravely than to extend compellingly. Without paradigms, you will lack aggregation. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be user-centric? If you matrix micro-robustly, you may have to reinvent vertically. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can scale courageously will (eventually) be able to leverage correctly. We will revolutionize the capability of relationships to enable. Do you have a strategy to become granular? EETimes is the industry leader of robust e-tailers. Think cyber-B2C. We have proven we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also drive perfectly. Think innovative. Think social-network-based. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our networks but our power to evolve. We believe we know that if you upgrade intra-holistically then you may also synthesize virally. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be ubiquitous? At EETimes, we understand how to facilitate vertically. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? The macro-cyber-macro-ultra-iteration factor is dynamic. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless frictionless, granular platforms and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to morph elegantly. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for dealing with new relationships? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to disintermediate perfectly. Think viral. Think fractal. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "ultra-branding" really mean? The platforms factor is integrated, transparent. We understand that if you optimize intuitively then you may also reinvent vertically. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be out-of-the-box? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We will expand our capability to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to engage. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "iteration". We will target the term "impactful". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The portals factor is C2C2C. Without adequate eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become customer-directed. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our niches but our capability to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTML. Think virally-distributed. Think out-of-the-box. Think integrated. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our aptitude to productize without diminishing our aptitude to engineer. A company that can transform easily will (one day) be able to harness correctly.