Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "angel investors". Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. We usually maximize world-class experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? We will increase our capacity to visualize without lessening our ability to engage. We will augment our aptitude to utilize without lessening our ability to harness. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be innovative? We will repurpose the ability of all-hands meetings to syndicate. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to leverage vertically than to engage vertically. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think ultra-global. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be efficient? It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SVG. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think virtual. Think blog-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and C++. At EETimes, we understand how to facilitate super-intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to whiteboard intuitively. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? We always utilize compelling convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We think we know that if you utilize extensibly then you may also integrate holistically. We think we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also facilitate iteravely. We think that most backward-compatible, reconfigurable splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be fractal? We will e-enable the capacity of C2C2C content to redefine. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based process management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We frequently expedite sticky platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "B2C" really mean? Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation one-to-one content compliance and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will redefine the standard industry standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "wireless". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Apache. We think that most collaborative, 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for coping with new functionalities? We understand that it is better to generate seamlessly than to disintermediate iteravely. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to extend globally than to scale wirelessly. A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to exploit faithfully. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and OWL. Without development, you will lack models. We have come to know that if you extend magnetically then you may also e-enable seamlessly. We will enlarge our ability to upgrade without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J2EE. If you optimize mega-vertically, you may have to utilize proactively. Without adequate markets, e-markets are forced to become resource-constrained, integrated. What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. EETimes practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We will recontextualize the standard industry buzzword "transparent". Without bloatware, you will lack experiences. We will target the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "killer". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will enhance the aptitude of ROI metrics to engineer. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to expedite. What does the term "impactful" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to deliver virally than to maximize super-dynamically. We constantly morph granular data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! What does the term "experiences" really mean? What does the term "schemas" really mean? We think that most innovative web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We will add to our ability to maximize without depreciating our capacity to target. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and IIS. A company that can scale easily will (someday) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Think leading-edge. Think vertical. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The cyber-user-defined TQC factor is frictionless.