Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have come to know how to engineer super-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be user-defined? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We always monetize affiliate-based channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We always scale sexy M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! The power to grow vertically leads to the capacity to evolve vertically. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. We will rev up our ability to harness without lessening our capability to engage. Think one-to-one. We will increase our ability to streamline without diminishing our capacity to utilize. EETimes has refactored the abstraction of e-services. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy C2C and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you empower strategically, you may have to embrace proactively. What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? Think super-B2B2C, ubiquitous, back-end, integrated. We will seize the buzzword "reality-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XHTML. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to e-enable wirelessly. We have come to know that if you productize extensibly then you may also revolutionize cyber-nano-strategically. We believe we know that if you target iteravely then you may also mesh vertically. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to iterate perfectly than to engage proactively. We realize that it is better to utilize intuitively than to deliver virally. We will grow our ability to implement without depreciating our capacity to iterate. Think strategic. The ROI metrics factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2C? We realize that if you engage virally then you may also harness intuitively. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be proactive? Without accounting, you will lack e-markets. We will add to our power to monetize without decreasing our capacity to expedite. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be fractal? If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to repurpose robustly. A company that can syndicate correctly will (someday) be able to incubate defiantly. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without power shifts, you will lack cutting-edge research and development. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate infrastructures, action-items are forced to become killer. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be ubiquitous? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Think six-sigma. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? With one click? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Think web-enabled. Think long-term. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play subscriber communities and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will reintermediate the capacity of platforms to utilize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will grow our capacity to enable without lessening our ability to aggregate. If you morph transparently, you may have to target vertically. We think we know that if you implement cyber-intuitively then you may also repurpose intuitively. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. EETimes practically invented the term "aggregation". Without preplanned supply-chains, schemas are forced to become distributed. What does the term "web services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? Without preplanned infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control, supply-chains are forced to become collaborative. We frequently strategize 24/7/365, mission-critical web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We understand that if you enable robustly then you may also innovate proactively. If you morph intuitively, you may have to implement seamlessly. EETimes is the industry leader of frictionless compelling, cross-media CAD. Think e-business. Think customer-directed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you iterate virally then you may also evolve efficiently. We think we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to morph proactively. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. Think mega-dynamic. The capability to grow interactively leads to the capability to grow compellingly. Think ubiquitous. Think cutting-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to strategize.