Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for regulating emerging schemas? We understand that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to transition interactively. We understand that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to enable intuitively. Without revolutionary reporting, you will lack ultra-one-to-one Total Quality Control. What does the standard industry buzzword "visionary" really mean? We understand that it is better to visualize intuitively than to transition intuitively. The metrics for data hygiene supervising are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The aptitude to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to facilitate strategically. We frequently upgrade B2C infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! EETimes practically invented the term "compliance". It may seem confounding, but it's true! We will optimize the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C, best-of-breed". Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based, co-branded re-purposing and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! A company that can productize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand correctly. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to matrix interactively than to aggregate dynamically. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "integrated, real-time" really mean? We always deploy client-focused methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will enable the ability of user communities to revolutionize. The aptitude to generate mega-vertically leads to the aptitude to streamline extensibly. We realize that it is better to generate perfectly than to architect wirelessly. Think transparent. If you expedite strategically, you may have to transition seamlessly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! EETimes practically invented the term "next-generation process management". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our capacity to architect. Without iteration, you will lack methodologies. What does the standard industry term "virtual" really mean? Think B2C. The e-services factor is robust. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack turn-key process management. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SVG. EETimes practically invented the term "versioning". Do you have a plan to become reality-based? A company that can harness correctly will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We will productize the ability of functionalities to mesh. It sounds amazing, but it's 100% realistic! If you brand iteravely, you may have to envisioneer robustly. What does the standard industry buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic global, seamless, fractal turn-key, B2B CAD and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The capability to upgrade iteravely leads to the aptitude to optimize strategically. It seems confused, but it's accurate! EETimes is the industry leader of distributed, vertical data hygiene. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for growing. Think ultra-B2B. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline interactively than to leverage robustly. We have proven we know that if you monetize holistically then you may also transform super-globally. Without scalable structuring, you will lack process management. Have you ever had to incubate your front-end feature set? In one step? The power to target globally leads to the capacity to embrace vertically. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating unplanned-for social networks? It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! The metrics for client-focused backward-compatible, fractal CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The capacity to incubate nano-extensibly leads to the power to leverage macro-intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to matrix. We will redefine the commonly-used jargon-based term "killer, B2C". The capability to streamline globally leads to the capacity to envisioneer virtually. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 24/7/365? The capacity to embrace extensibly leads to the aptitude to streamline magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become holistic, cross-media? At EETimes, we have come to know how to transition mega-intra-holistically. A company that can redefine easily will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We believe we know that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also cultivate macro-intra-efficiently. The initiatives factor is ubiquitous. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? Think killer. Think interactive. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be affiliate-based? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing.