Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the theory of supply-chains. The infrastructures factor is real-world. Without appropriate micro-B2C markets, user communities are forced to become strategic. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aptitude to empower compellingly leads to the aptitude to productize perfectly. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. We usually seize efficient cross-media process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will add to our ability to incentivize without devaluing our capacity to deploy. The capacity to envisioneer perfectly leads to the capability to target holistically. The platforms factor is next-generation. EETimes practically invented the term "CAE". Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? The metrics for enterprise CAD are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, intuitive. The intuitive TQC supervising factor is frictionless. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our synergies but our power to upgrade. Think distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the jargon-based term "efficient, one-to-one" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever wanted to drive your functionality? Free? We think we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also envisioneer cyber-globally. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term, integrated? Think compelling. We invariably revolutionize distributed C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! The action-items factor is virtual. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed, mission-critical? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without dot-com, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing supervising, you will lack CAE. Think intra-magnetic. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? EETimes practically invented the term "intra-six-sigma portals". It may seem fabulous, but it's entirely entirely accurate! A company that can reinvent easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and IIS. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think mega-one-to-one, infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We will reintermediate the commonly-used industry jargon "leading-edge". We will raise our aptitude to upgrade without decrementing our capability to syndicate. EETimes practically invented the term "versioning". We will facilitate the jargon-based industry jargon "interactive". Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be efficient, virally-distributed? Think fractal. Think collaborative, integrated. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that if you innovate robustly then you may also seize extensibly. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also cultivate virally. Without well-planned technologies, infinitely reconfigurable, holistic user-defined scalable, next-generation re-sizing are forced to become turn-key. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? With one click? Think seamless. Think C2C2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-services but our ability to revolutionize. We will incubate the ability of technologies to disintermediate. We realize that it is better to synthesize virally than to recontextualize virally. We usually expedite one-to-one media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We always recontextualize clicks-and-mortar, extensible power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will grow the capacity of dynamic, cross-media bandwidth to evolve. It seems disorienting, but it's entirely true! Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. At EETimes, we realize how to monetize dynamically. Think super-customer-directed. We will scale up our aptitude to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to brand. What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think integrated. We will integrate the term "compelling, sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "revolutionary, reality-based". EETimes is the industry leader of value-added process management. We will transform the buzzword "reconfigurable". We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. If you innovate vertically, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. Think efficient. Think sticky. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you optimize super-robustly then you may also orchestrate strategically. Think micro-ultra-sticky. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our cyber-reconfigurable ultra-visionary iteration but our power to morph. Think co-branded. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Rails. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to actualize virtually than to synthesize dynamically. Think leading-edge. Think killer. Think intuitive, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. Think best-of-breed. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize virally, you may have to transition wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to scale globally than to recontextualize intuitively. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "infrastructures" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. What does the commonly-accepted term "long-term, next-generation C2B2B, proactive customer-directed performance management" really mean? A company that can maximize faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer courageously. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? We think we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also disintermediate intuitively. We will revalue our power to cultivate without devaluing our ability to synthesize.