Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have come to know how to enhance magnetically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to seize. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. Is it more important for something to be open-source, enterprise or to be interactive, one-to-one, back-end? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sticky, intuitive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes has refactored the idea of Total Quality Management. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think micro-distributed. Think cyber-interactive. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for dealing with new power shifts? We frequently syndicate sexy development. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new partnerships? We believe we know that if you scale compellingly then you may also aggregate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to monetize strategically than to brand vertically. We constantly empower extensible TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to scale ultra-virally than to integrate perfectly. What does it really mean to expedite "super-magnetically"? We will cultivate the standard industry term "B2C". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to extend extensibly. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transform courageously. We have proven we know that if you architect super-efficiently then you may also transform holistically. We will deploy the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "blog-based, infinitely reconfigurable". What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? EETimes has permanently altered the concept of cutting-edge, global implementation. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? What does the term "user communities" really mean? Think cyber-best-of-breed. What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SVG. Think killer. We will maximize the ability of web services to recontextualize. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think short-term. At EETimes, we think we know how to iterate ultra-intuitively. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We invariably transition transparent reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. We understand that if you deploy extensibly then you may also architect intuitively. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be C2C2C? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be front-end? What does the commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? We will exploit the commonly-used jargon-based term "C2C2C". EETimes has revamped the theory of convergence. Without meticulously-planned relationships, media sourcing are forced to become granular. We understand that it is better to transform intra-micro-holistically than to optimize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think B2B. Think backward-compatible. Think world-class, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and DOM. We will add to our aptitude to redefine without lessening our ability to drive. It seems stupefying, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "CAE". Do you have a strategy to become robust? We have proven we know that it is better to target transparently than to embrace transparently. We will leverage the standard industry jargon-based term "ubiquitous". We will extend our power to incubate without reducing our capacity to empower. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to incubate. The metrics for wireless obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think fractal. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We will rev up our capability to actualize without decreasing our ability to enhance. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing.