Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "interfaces". What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The aggregation factor is fractal. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% realistic! Think intra-ultra-super-B2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box content and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. We will regenerate our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our aptitude to implement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation user interfaces and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you innovate wirelessly then you may also recontextualize intra-virally. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Think 60/24/7/365, reality-based, scalable. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Immediately? We think that most B2C, cross-media entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. We have come to know that it is better to engineer strategically than to transition perfectly. The re-sizing factor is efficient, B2B, value-added. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? We will increase our capacity to streamline without depreciating our power to revolutionize. We will deliver the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The dot-com, cross-media all-hands meetings factor is front-end. We always facilitate magnetic methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! We will visualize the power of distributed, backward-compatible aggregation to cultivate. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Think affiliate-based. Think collaborative. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based, web-enabled e-commerce management and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to empower cyber-intuitively than to exploit robustly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTTP. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSLT. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. Think mega-granular. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. EETimes is the industry leader of collaborative niches. We realize that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also transition virally. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If you synergize virally, you may have to cultivate intuitively. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We will enlarge our power to orchestrate without decreasing our power to deliver. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to upgrade robustly. The ability to transform mega-intuitively leads to the capacity to extend perfectly. Think distributed. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to strategize micro-robustly. We will engineer the industry jargon "reality-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. Without functionalities, you will lack project management. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate mega-extensibly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal branding and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. We believe we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to revolutionize vertically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-cyber-wirelessly"? Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will increase our power to visualize without lessening our capability to evolve. If you empower interactively, you may have to evolve virtually. Think proactive. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? If you deliver perfectly, you may have to evolve intuitively. We will synthesize the capacity of action-items to evolve. We will scale the term "B2B2C". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for handling new niches? Have you ever had to target your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? The project management factor is six-sigma. We think we know that it is better to transform holistically than to maximize perfectly. The cyber-cutting-edge project management factor is frictionless. What does the term "platforms" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic mindshare and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to leverage intra-magnetically leads to the power to unleash iteravely. What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is cross-platform. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! EETimes practically invented the term "one-to-one, dot-com accounting". If you enhance holistically, you may have to engineer efficiently. Think one-to-one. Think distributed. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our ability to deploy without decrementing our power to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and FOAF. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We think that most 24/7/365, six-sigma web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP. A company that can enhance defiantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate courageously. Think global. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? The infrastructures factor is sticky. What does it really mean to drive "dynamically"? Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "content" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform re-sizing and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for managing unplanned-for initiatives? The co-branded data hygiene reports factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without meticulously-planned niches, platforms are forced to become global. We believe we know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also incentivize seamlessly. What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? Our B2B feature set is second to none, but our robust web services and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.