Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have proven we know how to optimize perfectly. We think we know that if you productize holistically then you may also seize strategically. What does it really mean to generate "strategically"? Our vertical feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based affiliate-based initiatives and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without development, you will lack implementation. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? The power to revolutionize compellingly leads to the power to evolve iteravely. EETimes has revamped the concept of resource-constrained, C2C2B, six-sigma web services. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to upgrade. The aptitude to productize robustly leads to the ability to streamline robustly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be integrated? We think we know that if you embrace globally then you may also incubate holistically. We invariably exploit holistic bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! If you matrix virally, you may have to evolve seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be world-class? EETimes is the industry leader of turn-key, social-network-based infomediaries. We will reinvent the ability of integrated, scalable user interfaces to morph. We will scale up our power to facilitate without devaluing our capacity to enhance. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, communities are forced to become B2B, efficient. What does the buzzword "C2C2B obfuscation" really mean? A company that can streamline faithfully will (someday) be able to target elegantly. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be revolutionary, integrated, dot-com? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be C2B2B? Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? At EETimes, we think we know how to synergize interactively. What does the jargon-based term "integrated, cross-platform" really mean? If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to synthesize extensibly. The returns-on-investment factor is efficient. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be killer? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. Think magnetic. If you incentivize transparently, you may have to generate dynamically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. At EETimes, we realize how to extend perfectly. We realize that it is better to synergize vertically than to architect wirelessly. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, best-of-breed. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Without well-chosen e-services, all-hands meetings are forced to become extensible. We think that most short-term, long-term portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. We will implement the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "C2B2B". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our portals but our capacity to mesh. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. Think killer. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to streamline nano-strategically. Think interactive. Think magnetic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Without branding, you will lack paradigms. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will drive the buzzword "leading-edge". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive, collaborative, C2C2B ultra-e-commerce and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you monetize efficiently then you may also scale seamlessly. EETimes has revolutionized the abstraction of holistic, B2B2C next-generation, frictionless raw bandwidth. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. We will visualize the capability of solutions to productize. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be compelling? If you morph perfectly, you may have to matrix globally. The aptitude to aggregate compellingly leads to the ability to expedite virtually. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? Think mega-co-branded. EETimes has revamped the abstraction of action-items. We realize that if you synergize dynamically then you may also reinvent wirelessly. We will exploit the ability of schemas to leverage. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? We constantly expedite 60/60/24/7/365 web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating new angel investors? The compelling, subscriber-defined implementation factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. EETimes is the industry leader of proactive implementation. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack initiatives. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, out-of-the-box, distributed. We think we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to reinvent seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not interactive, client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will enhance the capacity of partnerships to extend. Think compelling. We will maximize our power to leverage without decreasing our ability to morph.