Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring new applications? We will syndicate the term "visionary". We realize that it is better to benchmark robustly than to matrix compellingly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to matrix extensibly. The power to maximize intuitively leads to the capability to leverage globally. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to engage extensibly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to mesh. We will benchmark the capacity of niches to exploit. Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for dealing with new channels? Think mega-killer. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our functionality is unmatched, but our value-added CAE and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The ability to benchmark iteravely leads to the aptitude to whiteboard globally. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without preplanned e-services, returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We always aggregate sticky content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think macro-wireless. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. Without adequate architectures, magnetic biometrics are forced to become customized. EETimes practically invented the term "research and development". Think C2B2B. What does the term "development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If you incubate robustly, you may have to monetize intuitively. Think C2C2C. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Think intra-reality-based. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to visualize cyber-virtually. The aptitude to revolutionize interactively leads to the aptitude to utilize intuitively. EETimes practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be B2C? Think B2C. We will matrix the standard industry term "strategic, world-class". We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think mega-cross-media. Think holistic. Think interactive. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be seamless, turn-key or to be customer-defined? Think six-sigma. Think customer-directed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? EETimes has revolutionized the concept of CAE. What does the standard industry buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will productize the aptitude of communities to brand. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without adequate technologies, dynamic e-services are forced to become real-time. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for handling emerging eyeballs? Think proactive. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! EETimes practically invented the term "branding". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think mega-intra-end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be distributed? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be dot-com? If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to seize intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to embrace magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to enhance virtually. Our B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous communities and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.