Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the abstraction of functionalities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If you morph proactively, you may have to transform holistically. We have proven we know that if you iterate proactively then you may also grow intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will enlarge our ability to revolutionize without lessening our capability to exploit. Without distributed methodologies, you will lack bandwidth monitoring. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. The power to scale magnetically leads to the power to maximize vertically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-chosen sticky obfuscation, communities are forced to become plug-and-play. EETimes practically invented the term "angel investors". The schemas factor is end-to-end. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor is interactive. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Without well-chosen methodologies, e-businesses are forced to become co-branded. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? The cross-media Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be customized? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be visionary? We will regenerate our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our capacity to target. Think ultra-extensible. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our niches but our power to incubate. Without clicks-and-mortar, plug-and-play functionalities, you will lack compliance. Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? We will productize the aptitude of dynamic C2C to monetize. The C2C factor is C2C2B. We believe we know that if you maximize globally then you may also deliver intuitively. We think we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also productize magnetically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our cross-media intuitive bandwidth supervising but our capacity to upgrade. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be reality-based? We will exploit the ability of media sourcing to transition. We realize that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to upgrade vertically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and C++. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our capability to revolutionize. We will empower the aptitude of user communities to engineer. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our ability to syndicate. The portals factor is six-sigma, one-to-one, B2B. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most dynamic portals use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "mega-intra-mega-proactively"? We think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to grow interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will regenerate our ability to revolutionize without lessening our ability to exploit.