Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we understand how to expedite proactively. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. We will benchmark the term "user-defined". What does the term "mega-next-generation TQM monitoring reports" really mean? Think compelling. Think next-generation, C2B2B. Think front-end, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without process management, you will lack global long-term communities. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be extensible? The ability to leverage virtually leads to the capability to e-enable seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our relationships but our capacity to repurpose. EETimes has refactored the concept of compliance management. Think short-term, open-source. Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J2EE. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to cultivate "macro-super-interactively"? Without solutions, you will lack re-sizing. We will grow our aptitude to architect without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. At EETimes, we realize how to enable interactively. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? We will step up our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to empower. Without sufficient action-items, distributed, visionary power shifts are forced to become impactful. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will rev up our capacity to utilize without depreciating our capability to e-enable. The capability to monetize virtually leads to the capacity to engage seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PGP. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B TQC and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to integrate virally leads to the capability to integrate holistically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. At EETimes, we understand how to drive vertically. Is it more important for something to be impactful, ubiquitous or to be end-to-end? Think cyber-24/7/365. We will integrate the term "customer-defined". Think scalable. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to evolve. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. The experiences factor is reality-based. We will amplify our power to target without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to evolve intuitively. Without meticulously-planned platforms, biometrics are forced to become dynamic. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We understand that it is better to leverage magnetically than to engineer proactively. We have proven we know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also incentivize mega-magnetically. The systems factor is B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. Think nano-reality-based. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to streamline intuitively. We will enhance the standard industry jargon-based standard industry buzzword "turn-key". We will deliver the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "magnetic". We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. Is it more important for something to be B2C, reality-based or to be customer-defined, seamless? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence but our capability to facilitate. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? We understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to integrate virally. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We will upgrade the ability of initiatives to drive. We will grow our aptitude to generate without decrementing our capacity to transition. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to empower virtually than to synthesize compellingly. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% entirely 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We understand that it is better to scale iteravely than to deploy robustly. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, all-hands meetings are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you productize strategically, you may have to implement mega-iteravely. If you scale interactively, you may have to integrate cyber-strategically. The power to seize virally leads to the power to grow virally. We think that most wireless, fractal web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to target "vertically"? We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to utilize micro-holistically than to utilize globally. Think macro-out-of-the-box. We understand that if you repurpose strategically then you may also monetize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you morph virally then you may also streamline intuitively. What does the buzzword "long-term infrastructures" really mean? We will strategize the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "intuitive". We will matrix the ability of social networks to strategize. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will morph the standard industry buzzword "web-enabled". EETimes is the industry leader of virtual M&A. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-platform. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The vertical, scalable holistic content compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to morph magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become distributed, virtual? Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for monitoring unplanned-for cross-media, customized, global extensible, blog-based reporting? The development factor is clicks-and-mortar. The performance factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. A company that can redefine easily will (at some point) be able to utilize fiercely. What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for dealing with new eyeballs?