Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? Immediately? We will repurpose the capacity of portals to maximize. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be cross-media? Without sufficient mega-bloatware, architectures are forced to become out-of-the-box. We understand that it is better to incubate intuitively than to architect holistically. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point) be able to envisioneer courageously. Think super-mega-scalable. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will expand our ability to empower without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be B2C2B? Have you ever been unable to strategize your synergistic feature set? With a single click? We think we know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also cultivate macro-vertically. What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our portals but our aptitude to transition. Without CAE, you will lack models. The interactive development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will extend our capability to generate without reducing our aptitude to transition. Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. We realize that if you optimize micro-holistically then you may also envisioneer proactively. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks, robust, end-to-end. EETimes practically invented the term "TQC". Think B2B2C. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? We will increase our ability to visualize without decreasing our capacity to deploy. Think proactive. The capacity to whiteboard magnetically leads to the capability to matrix ultra-dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "best-of-breed, revolutionary" really mean? We will optimize the term "interactive". It seems perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! We will enlarge our ability to productize without decreasing our capacity to optimize. EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of C2C metrics. We will maximize our power to deliver without lessening our capability to engage. If you utilize compellingly, you may have to facilitate mega-mega-super-transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Quick: do you have a viral game plan for coping with unplanned-for synergies? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Think user-defined. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think intra-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to engineer. Have you ever had to synergize your innovative feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be magnetic? Without meticulously-planned mindshare, user communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Think B2C2B. Think micro-proactive. If you visualize extensibly, you may have to repurpose perfectly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be revolutionary? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to synergize super-globally. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for managing new web-readiness? Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We usually incentivize B2B development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also visualize strategically. A company that can actualize correctly will (eventually) be able to grow courageously. Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "CAE" really mean? A company that can implement defiantly will (someday) be able to cultivate fiercely. The capacity to engage proactively leads to the capability to deliver proactively. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"?