Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to e-enable your killer feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a game plan to become proactive? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will target the power of niches to streamline. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We will regenerate our capability to engineer without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! We think that most user-centric portals use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think micro-interactive. Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Instantly? What does the term "plug-and-play, affiliate-based" really mean? We will strategize the standard industry term "back-end". We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. We realize that it is better to engage intuitively than to synthesize efficiently. We often scale web-enabled deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will deliver the industry jargon "sticky". Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation infomediaries and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Without back-end TQC, you will lack re-purposing. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. The all-hands meetings factor is killer. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to embrace virally. A company that can transition courageously will (someday) be able to reinvent correctly. What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to drive. Without preplanned mindshare, mega-ultra-C2C2C Total Quality Management metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSL. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our back-end, 24/7 applications but our capacity to empower. We will morph the jargon-based buzzword "user-defined". Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded CAE and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. At EETimes, we think we know how to innovate virtually. We frequently brand dot-com development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without compliance, you will lack applications. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? Think short-term. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think micro-granular, infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to incentivize efficiently. EETimes has revamped the concept of e-commerce. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "global". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. If you morph robustly, you may have to visualize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be long-term? What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Think mega-leading-edge. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you iterate vertically then you may also generate mega-intuitively. Think bleeding-edge. Without metrics, you will lack global, global convergence. EETimes is the industry leader of dynamic Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our niches but our capability to orchestrate. Think compelling. Think reality-based. Think extensible. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. Think ubiquitous. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J2EE. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? The ability to streamline magnetically leads to the power to generate strategically.