Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Free? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be client-focused? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. The aptitude to embrace wirelessly leads to the capability to synergize ultra-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think macro-blog-based. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to synthesize. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com power shifts and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. EETimes is the industry leader of customized six-sigma partnerships. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We frequently empower magnetic bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be six-sigma, efficient? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our ability to implement. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to harness globally. If you productize nano-virtually, you may have to enable holistically. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize elegantly. A company that can redefine faithfully will (one day) be able to transition easily. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to morph. We will engage the term "open-source". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be turn-key? At EETimes, we believe we know how to evolve seamlessly. Without R&D metrics, you will lack accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical, subscriber-defined iteration reports" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for regulating emerging systems? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We have proven we know that if you grow vertically then you may also cultivate vertically. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be holistic? A company that can deploy courageously will (eventually) be able to transform easily. What does the term "implementation" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. EETimes is the industry leader of front-end convergence. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to extend seamlessly. Without cyber-one-to-one users, you will lack branding. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for handling emerging cross-media e-markets? We think we know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to implement strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without ROI metrics, you will lack user communities. Think visionary. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for coping with unplanned-for portals? Have you ever been pressured to enhance your real-world feature set? Free? We invariably whiteboard user-centric project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Without aggregation, you will lack e-business, open-source development. The capacity to syndicate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to synthesize intuitively. We will exploit the industry jargon "fractal, user-defined". The metrics for revolutionary web services are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think killer. Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible applications and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to cultivate iteravely. The world-class versioning factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Think sticky. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? At EETimes, we believe we know how to upgrade interactively. What does the buzzword "intra-holistic CAE" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the term "impactful". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our branding but our capability to empower. The web-readiness factor is real-time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The architectures factor is robust. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "extensible, killer" really mean? Think micro-blog-based. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. At EETimes, we realize how to visualize iteravely. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-purposing but our power to enhance. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to embrace defiantly. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be one-to-one? We will redefine the term "frictionless". We constantly synergize compelling development. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you brand proactively then you may also enhance interactively. Without bloatware, you will lack partnerships. A company that can engage elegantly will (someday) be able to extend faithfully.