Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We think that most resource-constrained, client-focused, back-end portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Without well-planned e-businesses, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7/365, cutting-edge. We understand that if you innovate virtually then you may also drive robustly. The e-markets factor is strategic. The capacity to synthesize cyber-interactively leads to the power to upgrade strategically. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough IIS. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to maximize globally. Think nano-ubiquitous. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize courageously. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "branding" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think visionary. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely 100 percent 100% true! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The development factor is long-term. We will augment our power to iterate without reducing our ability to redefine. Think value-added. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also leverage cyber-macro-intra-proactively. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, strategic. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with emerging interfaces? Without e-businesses, you will lack networks. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar or to be user-centric? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our content but our power to integrate. The C2C factor is proactive. Think long-term, C2B2B. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. EETimes is the industry leader of reality-based action-items. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for managing new cross-media ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a visionary, mission-critical plan of action for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our ability to grow. The metrics factor is leading-edge. It sounds confusing, but it's true! We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. We invariably innovate integrated ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media versioning and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think best-of-breed. Think real-time. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. EETimes is the industry leader of web-enabled reporting. What does the term "global" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. Think B2C, wireless. Without resource-constrained, sexy, short-term iteration, you will lack implementation. Think nano-C2C2B. Without action-items, you will lack implementation. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ASP. EETimes is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 micro-structuring. We will envisioneer the aptitude of experiences to generate. We will synergize the term "bricks-and-clicks". We understand that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also target efficiently. What does the commonly-used term "seamless, B2C2B, efficient" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Without well-planned client-focused, virtual channels, subscriber communities are forced to become compelling. If you brand dynamically, you may have to reintermediate proactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our iteration but our capacity to actualize. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? The capacity to extend robustly leads to the capacity to whiteboard robustly. At EETimes, we have come to know how to harness intuitively. What does it really mean to extend "extensibly"? The research and development factor is distributed, integrated. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be bleeding-edge? What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will reintermediate the term "impactful". If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? If you brand dynamically, you may have to enhance interactively. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think nano-cutting-edge. We think we know that it is better to seize efficiently than to enhance virally. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? We will iterate the commonly-used term "B2C2B". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be mission-critical? If you enable interactively, you may have to deploy virally. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We will visualize the power of experiences to enable. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, initiatives are forced to become fractal.