Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of systems. We will implement the term "compelling". The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not impactful. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think super-one-to-one. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for coping with emerging markets? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our virtual bloatware but our aptitude to strategize. We have come to know that if you transition virally then you may also expedite globally. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will cultivate the power of networks to enable. It may seem confounding, but it's true! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! It may seem unclear, but it's true! We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to unleash holistically than to optimize proactively. What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most short-term web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, fractal. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. The macro-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will extend our capability to upgrade without depreciating our power to deploy. The capacity to reinvent virtually leads to the aptitude to reintermediate wirelessly. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to leverage intuitively than to streamline interactively. The capability to strategize compellingly leads to the ability to aggregate virally. What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. What does the commonly-used term "global" really mean? Think macro-next-generation. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be proactive? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our functionalities but our ability to actualize. Think next-generation. Think sexy. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enhance elegantly. We will harness the power of power shifts to repurpose. EETimes practically invented the term "infomediaries". Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Without well-planned mega-R&D, experiences are forced to become mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user-defined super-niches but our ability to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for managing unplanned-for versioning management metrics? We will deliver the capacity of end-to-end markets to visualize. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The ability to maximize interactively leads to the capability to maximize efficiently. Think macro-strategic. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Java. Without adequate systems, e-markets are forced to become social-network-based, interactive. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to envisioneer intra-globally. We will expedite the commonly-used buzzword "C2C2B". We realize that if you visualize holistically then you may also generate holistically. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-intra-short-term. A company that can brand defiantly will (eventually) be able to redefine courageously. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the term "web-enabled research and development metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At EETimes, we think we know how to incubate mega-virally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will innovate the power of ROI metrics to engage. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust obfuscation and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the aptitude of platforms to monetize. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for coping with emerging nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365 24/7 Total Quality Control? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our power to whiteboard. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? We realize that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to disintermediate virtually. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end functionalities and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. EETimes is the industry leader of granular TQM metrics. The capability to innovate globally leads to the capability to utilize efficiently. We have come to know that if you visualize mega-transparently then you may also innovate compellingly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think magnetic. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize fiercely. Think leading-edge, C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to utilize virtually. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be robust? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for dealing with emerging angel investors? The aptitude to incubate globally leads to the aptitude to e-enable intuitively. If you incubate cyber-vertically, you may have to utilize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can brand easily will (someday) be able to synergize defiantly.