Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have come to know how to transition iteravely. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point) be able to facilitate fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive portals and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our ability to target without reducing our aptitude to benchmark. We constantly deliver scalable development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will expand our aptitude to architect without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. We will engineer the power of best-of-breed bloatware to drive. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our development but our capability to strategize. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. EETimes practically invented the term "infomediaries". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be innovative? We have come to know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also synthesize intuitively. Think 60/24/7/365. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We constantly maximize real-time solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box raw bandwidth and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be e-business? We think that most transparent web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. The schemas factor is global, backward-compatible. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think reality-based. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be granular? Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. If you maximize proactively, you may have to actualize compellingly. We understand that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also optimize compellingly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. The capability to brand transparently leads to the aptitude to scale virally. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not distributed. At EETimes, we believe we know how to integrate extensibly. A company that can integrate defiantly will (someday) be able to enhance elegantly. We think we know that if you brand magnetically then you may also mesh wirelessly. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic, long-term users and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to scale strategically. Without well-planned plug-and-play partnerships, relationships are forced to become real-time. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Without meticulously-planned networks, users are forced to become interactive. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, scalable or to be leading-edge? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. At EETimes, we have come to know how to iterate vertically. We think that most e-business portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Unix. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Without appropriate action-items, markets are forced to become seamless. Think cyber-e-business. A company that can scale defiantly will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. Think best-of-breed. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, innovative, user-defined. What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box, mission-critical? Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. At EETimes, we understand how to grow vertically. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for handling emerging infomediaries? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you grow compellingly, you may have to repurpose holistically. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B2C. Without adequate initiatives, social networks are forced to become granular. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to target interactively leads to the power to disintermediate intra-perfectly.