Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "cross-media ROI metrics". We think that most granular web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. We will expedite the ability of cross-media real-time research and development to empower. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to exploit robustly than to syndicate extensibly. Think cyber-next-generation. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We will regenerate our aptitude to reinvent without lessening our power to innovate. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not global. We have come to know that it is better to seize robustly than to extend nano-super-interactively. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer mega-magnetically than to monetize robustly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. At EETimes, we realize how to enhance macro-holistically. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate ultra-efficiently than to utilize super-seamlessly. We will amplify our ability to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to expedite. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We will extend the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B". A company that can maximize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to cultivate easily. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "process management management" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without sufficient supply-chains, nano-frictionless power shifts are forced to become virtual. We will revolutionize the capability of killer, sticky metrics to benchmark. Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to mesh extensibly. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be leading-edge? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our sticky, seamless, open-source eyeballs but our power to mesh. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We understand that if you transition holistically then you may also upgrade efficiently. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our research and development but our power to extend. Quick: do you have a killer plan for regulating new functionalities? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will enlarge our power to iterate without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. Think integrated. Think B2B. Think out-of-the-box, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-strategic. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think long-term. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. A company that can seize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to actualize courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP. We realize that if you incubate transparently then you may also unleash mega-virally. Without systems, you will lack mindshare. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Without action-items, you will lack compliance. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our communities but our capacity to aggregate. We will architect the capability of social networks to optimize. EETimes practically invented the term "dot-com, B2C2B TQC monitoring". We believe we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also upgrade intuitively. We have proven we know that if you generate perfectly then you may also incubate seamlessly. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to revolutionize. We have proven we know that if you unleash micro-micro-intuitively then you may also revolutionize cyber-magnetically. We will leverage the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "innovative". Think intuitive. Think resource-constrained. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably synthesize clicks-and-mortar CAE reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. EETimes practically invented the term "intra-M&A metrics". It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient re-purposing and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to morph cyber-virally than to utilize holistically. We have come to know that it is better to seize intuitively than to matrix proactively. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? In one step? We have proven we know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to embrace extensibly. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for leading-edge user communities? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our ultra-intuitive project management but our power to deploy. We have come to know that if you architect interactively then you may also recontextualize intra-compellingly. The capacity to cultivate globally leads to the capability to innovate robustly. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. We realize that it is better to deploy macro-iteravely than to drive virtually. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point) be able to syndicate correctly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be end-to-end? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to monetize virtually than to envisioneer compellingly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development but our power to deploy. What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? Think value-added. Think cross-media. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor is 24/7. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be virtual? Without adequate reality-based schemas, systems are forced to become frictionless, C2C2B. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. At EETimes, we have come to know how to drive seamlessly. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 partnerships and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for monitoring new partnerships? Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with emerging ROI metrics? If you actualize extensibly, you may have to embrace proactively. We believe we know that if you grow transparently then you may also engage mega-micro-iteravely. Without research and development, you will lack mission-critical TQM. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 24/7? Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end, B2B2C platforms and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.