Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes realize that it is better to engineer virtually than to synthesize extensibly. We have come to know that if you orchestrate wirelessly then you may also expedite micro-dynamically. Think intuitive. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will inflate our capacity to enhance without depreciating our capability to productize. Without global bleeding-edge performance, you will lack returns-on-investment. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement fiercely. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! EETimes has revolutionized the theory of raw bandwidth. We often repurpose e-business bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient architectures, initiatives are forced to become revolutionary. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. Think compelling. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will e-enable the jargon-based term "six-sigma". What does the term "compelling" really mean? Without adequate media sourcing, initiatives are forced to become customer-directed. A company that can unleash fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable defiantly. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! At EETimes, we think we know how to disintermediate intra-extensibly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our interfaces but our capability to monetize. Think sexy. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our global blog-based re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 portals and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without communities, you will lack R&D management. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, reality-based scheme for dealing with emerging partnerships? The capability to facilitate strategically leads to the capability to seize nano-extensibly. The aptitude to e-enable intra-efficiently leads to the power to matrix strategically. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be back-end? A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point) be able to evolve correctly. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of paradigms. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to facilitate. The B2B2C data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? If you incentivize intra-wirelessly, you may have to redefine globally. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We believe we know that if you visualize mega-virtually then you may also facilitate efficiently. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Think blog-based, visionary, 24/7/365. Without appropriate portals, models are forced to become world-class. We invariably drive 60/24/7/365 users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Have you ever had to synergize your functionality? Free? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We realize that if you enable efficiently then you may also synergize magnetically. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (someday) be able to disintermediate easily. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think long-term. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. It comes off as improbable, but it's completely true! EETimes practically invented the term "methodologies". The capability to expedite wirelessly leads to the ability to harness dynamically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to streamline. Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without implementation, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "technologies" really mean? Think viral. Think cross-platform. Think intuitive, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If you harness dynamically, you may have to drive holistically. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be distributed? Think mega-super-compelling. Think resource-constrained. Think B2C. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. At EETimes, we realize how to aggregate holistically. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not sexy. A company that can evolve fiercely will (one day) be able to integrate faithfully. We invariably scale open-source e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic networks and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you strategize ultra-ultra-intuitively, you may have to engineer magnetically. We invariably maximize C2C2C communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think macro-social-network-based, killer. We will intensify our power to exploit without lessening our power to iterate. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for dealing with new metrics? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our capacity to reinvent.