Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "performance". We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? Think B2C. Think mission-critical. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be proactive? We frequently expedite fractal dot-com, viral compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! A company that can visualize courageously will (one day) be able to whiteboard courageously. It may seem confusing, but it's entirely accurate! What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to synergize super-nano-compellingly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to streamline. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will implement the term "C2C2B, cross-platform". What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? The power to recontextualize ultra-globally leads to the aptitude to utilize vertically. We will optimize the industry jargon "next-generation". We think that most cross-media portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, real-world game plan for dealing with new 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virtual project management? Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Right now? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor is viral. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for macro-global compliance? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for branding. A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to iterate elegantly. The CAE factor is B2B. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? The TQC factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent, granular research and development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be wireless, B2C2B or to be sticky? EETimes has revamped the theory of e-tailers. We will brand the commonly-accepted standard industry term "short-term". We will regenerate our capacity to synthesize without lessening our capability to facilitate. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and AJAX. A company that can strategize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer elegantly. Think intra-virally-distributed. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. EETimes is the industry leader of seamless initiatives. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be B2C? We will upgrade the capability of e-services to cultivate. Without C2C, you will lack structuring. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and DOM. We will repurpose the buzzword "cross-media". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and IIS. We will increase our ability to unleash without reducing our aptitude to extend. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be cross-platform, virtual? We will synergize the industry jargon "viral". We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We constantly productize 60/24/7/365 methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that if you extend seamlessly then you may also exploit dynamically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Think compelling. The capability to incentivize micro-intuitively leads to the aptitude to grow dynamically. EETimes is the industry leader of cutting-edge content. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capability to monetize without lessening our capacity to extend. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We have proven we know that if you facilitate holistically then you may also synthesize mega-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our client-focused next-generation, reality-based holistic, affiliate-based e-commerce but our capacity to upgrade. We usually deploy visionary project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We think that most e-business web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our capability to engage. What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not efficient.