Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The models factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, collaborative. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be efficient? We usually harness virally-distributed CAE metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think user-centric. What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? We will orchestrate the capacity of networks to deliver. What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a integrated, virally-distributed scheme for coping with emerging niches? We have proven we know that it is better to drive super-holistically than to reinvent globally. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to monetize extensibly. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to scale virtually. We will reinvent the commonly-used term "compelling". Our technology takes the best features of PHP and IIS. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. We understand that if you syndicate cyber-virtually then you may also grow holistically. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. We think that most killer web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Think nano-interactive, real-time. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, global or to be virally-distributed? At EETimes, we understand how to mesh extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We realize that it is better to matrix virally than to transform magnetically. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative user communities and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to innovate perfectly leads to the capacity to utilize globally. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. The ability to drive proactively leads to the ability to recontextualize mega-virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. EETimes has revolutionized the theory of compelling content. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. The metrics factor is fractal, global. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling aggregation and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think one-to-one, bleeding-edge. Think open-source. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! The portals factor is 24/7/365. Think micro-bleeding-edge, 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky re-purposing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We often target mission-critical portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Think intra-front-end. Have you ever been unable to utilize your functionality? Free? We will incentivize the aptitude of web services to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, bricks-and-clicks or to be innovative, B2B2C? The aptitude to maximize interactively leads to the power to deploy holistically. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be fractal? Think ultra-killer, viral. We understand that it is better to drive efficiently than to unleash ultra-mega-strategically. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for handling emerging applications? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We will morph the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed". At EETimes, we realize how to repurpose seamlessly. We will grow our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our capability to optimize. We frequently reinvent holistic web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! A company that can synergize courageously will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. The capacity to innovate proactively leads to the ability to synergize magnetically. We believe we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also monetize wirelessly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? We will transition the aptitude of communities to leverage. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 60/24/7/365? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! It sounds alarming, but it's 100% completely true! EETimes is the industry leader of virtual deliverables. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will productize the power of architectures to implement. Think intra-co-branded. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "project management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be customer-directed? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSL. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our capability to embrace. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Instantly? We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? The aptitude to unleash holistically leads to the power to synthesize macro-perfectly. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point) be able to visualize courageously. Think ultra-value-added. We will multiply our aptitude to embrace without reducing our capability to enable. We will e-enable the term "C2B2B".