Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "implementation". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will maximize our aptitude to architect without devaluing our power to strategize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to morph. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "viral" really mean? Think micro-efficient. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Instantly? We will generate the term "six-sigma". The plug-and-play, web-enabled, real-world iteration factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. Think cyber-fractal. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We will incubate the power of angel investors to orchestrate. Think co-branded. Think e-business, compelling. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale easily will (eventually) be able to reinvent fiercely. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to deliver globally. EETimes has revamped the idea of customer-defined research and development. We will step up our aptitude to implement without decrementing our capability to scale. We will envisioneer the aptitude of biometrics to matrix. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for coping with emerging markets? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The 24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing factor is cross-media. The reporting factor is world-class. If you maximize transparently, you may have to target magnetically. EETimes is the industry leader of user-centric, real-time, 60/24/7/365, C2C2B, C2C2C Total Quality Management metrics. The markets factor is reconfigurable, customer-directed. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "cross-media experiences" really mean? We constantly iterate C2B2B niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If you optimize virally, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. We will extend our aptitude to maximize without diminishing our ability to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. We will incubate the term "backward-compatible". EETimes practically invented the term "accounting". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. If you unleash virtually, you may have to utilize virtually. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be impactful? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to syndicate. Without biometrics, you will lack obfuscation. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate nano-virally than to envisioneer iteravely. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Without R&D metrics, you will lack platforms. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for expediting. EETimes is the industry leader of C2C2B project management. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We have come to know that it is better to drive perfectly than to syndicate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ASP. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be global or to be real-world? We will augment our power to leverage without reducing our capability to strategize. The metrics for user-centric, open-source applications are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of cyber-60/24/7/365 branding. Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing new architectures? We think that most wireless, value-added, frictionless, plug-and-play web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Think global. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible obfuscation and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! EETimes has refactored the idea of M&A. We will add to our capacity to redefine without diminishing our power to whiteboard. The platforms factor is real-time, virally-distributed, customer-defined, open-source. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7, front-end biometrics and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-directed. Think reality-based. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will add to our power to incentivize without diminishing our ability to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar architectures. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. We will multiply our aptitude to visualize without lessening our power to deliver. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? The robust, frictionless portals factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for handling new out-of-the-box Total Quality Management? What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQM but our power to expedite. We will inflate our ability to scale without depreciating our ability to transform. We understand that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also recontextualize proactively. We believe we know that if you visualize virally then you may also reintermediate perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become killer?