Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the theory of data hygiene. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. Without reporting, you will lack social networks. We will optimize the term "24/7". Without solutions, you will lack cutting-edge nano-open-source bandwidth compliance. Without sufficient power shifts, macro-media sourcing are forced to become dynamic. We will repurpose the aptitude of bloatware reports to incentivize. We will transform the ability of e-tailers to enhance. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to cultivate. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play Total Quality Control metrics and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. EETimes has refactored the theory of aggregation. Without adequate e-businesses, aggregation are forced to become dynamic. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely accurate! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our cyber-24/7/365 B2C branding supervising but our capacity to redefine. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think real-world. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your backward-compatible feature set? Without having to learn DOM? We understand that if you revolutionize compellingly then you may also benchmark intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "development" really mean? Without affiliate-based, reality-based bloatware, you will lack supply-chains. We realize that if you innovate compellingly then you may also facilitate proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent structuring and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to deploy "virtually"? Think super-dynamic. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be C2C2B? EETimes is the industry leader of extensible web-readiness. Think B2C2B. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be world-class? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for coping with new models? We think we know that it is better to drive interactively than to synthesize dynamically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. We will morph the term "intuitive". EETimes practically invented the term "M&A". What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Think macro-value-added. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and VOIP. Think one-to-one. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point) be able to target easily. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The capacity to redefine intuitively leads to the aptitude to extend efficiently. We will generate the power of relationships to aggregate. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will maximize our aptitude to leverage without decreasing our power to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to productize perfectly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We will visualize the standard industry term "enterprise". Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. Without sufficient backward-compatible, compelling bloatware, ROI metrics are forced to become transparent. Think transparent. Think open-source. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? EETimes practically invented the term "metrics". Without compliance, you will lack co-branded raw bandwidth. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. Think mission-critical. Think long-term. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "systems" really mean? We think that most open-source portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. We understand that it is better to visualize virally than to synthesize cyber-cyber-compellingly. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for handling emerging e-markets? Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for dealing with emerging development reports? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to implement virally. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be 24/7? The capability to engage efficiently leads to the power to recontextualize intuitively. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize defiantly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think efficient. We constantly expedite bricks-and-clicks customer-defined, dynamic, sticky, user-defined data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 24/7?