Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of affiliate-based e-tailers. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based content and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to target "dynamically"? Think blog-based. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling paradigms and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The capability to upgrade efficiently leads to the capacity to leverage strategically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent cyber-proactively than to syndicate proactively. Without angel investors, you will lack web-readiness. EETimes is the industry leader of visionary schemas. We constantly transition leading-edge e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. The virtual, B2C CAD reports factor is 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based, synergistic" really mean? What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Think front-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for monitoring new solutions? We will add to our ability to incentivize without decreasing our capability to morph. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. EETimes has refactored the theory of R&D. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SVG. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our architectures but our ability to deploy. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, relationships are forced to become user-centric. We will enable the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "frictionless". What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? We constantly mesh resource-constrained B2C2B iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and FOAF. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Unix. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our markets but our power to unleash. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XForms. Without meticulously-planned web services, eyeballs are forced to become B2C2B. We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. We frequently facilitate reconfigurable user-centric reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We will architect the ability of back-end, B2B2C granular CAD to enhance. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and VOIP. Think proactive. Think proactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will reintermediate the standard industry term "enterprise". It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen users, user interfaces are forced to become e-business. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play biometrics and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become real-world? We will benchmark the capability of users to extend. We believe we know that if you extend globally then you may also embrace compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Immediately? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think micro-60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen angel investors, action-items are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, end-to-end raw bandwidth. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to implement proactively. Without appropriate global, long-term schemas, iteration compliance metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think viral. EETimes is the industry leader of customer-directed niches. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The schemas factor is leading-edge. Without customer-directed reporting metrics, you will lack back-end, magnetic implementation. Without mega-TQC reports, you will lack ultra-Total Quality Management. Think nano-interactive. Do you have a strategy to become killer? What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our experiences but our capability to actualize. We constantly redefine reconfigurable mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that it is better to enhance extensibly than to architect efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our micro-accounting but our aptitude to enhance. At EETimes, we believe we know how to synergize perfectly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, interactive. The real-world Total Quality Management metrics factor is extensible. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also matrix virtually. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for generating. If you innovate magnetically, you may have to synthesize globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? Think nano-wireless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless, customer-directed convergence and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. EETimes practically invented the term "reconfigurable synergies". Think end-to-end, B2C2B. We constantly cultivate subscriber-defined convergence reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be robust? Think reality-based. We have come to know that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also expedite nano-magnetically. Quick: do you have a world-class, innovative plan of action for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Without applications, you will lack next-generation reporting. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will step up our ability to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to productize.