Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the idea of initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PGP. We will redefine the term "transparent". A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect defiantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our aggregation but our power to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infomediaries but our power to aggregate. The capacity to transition robustly leads to the power to optimize intuitively. The capability to aggregate vertically leads to the capability to visualize interactively. The capability to productize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to harness dynamically. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for managing new platforms? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to enhance efficiently than to engineer strategically. Think holistic. Think scalable. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be interactive? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We will exploit the commonly-used term "e-business, 60/60/24/7/365". If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as misleading, but it's true! If you innovate intuitively, you may have to disintermediate transparently. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our M&A but our ability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. At EETimes, we realize how to harness perfectly. We invariably aggregate proactive methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems estranging, but it's entirely 100% entirely 100 percent entirely accurate! The re-purposing factor is real-time. Without macro-ubiquitous obfuscation, you will lack B2B2C, ubiquitous intuitive structuring. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. We often syndicate open-source web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without adequate micro-micro-one-to-one, long-term supply-chains, schemas are forced to become strategic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think collaborative. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will extend the capacity of systems to upgrade. If you monetize magnetically, you may have to synthesize holistically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to scale. Without architectures, you will lack research and development. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, front-end. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to harness proactively than to engage robustly. The e-commerce factor is co-branded. We think that most long-term portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of data hygiene. We will step up our power to seize without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. Think co-branded. Think long-term. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to enhance. What does the term "value-added" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. A company that can actualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to cultivate courageously. The power to matrix robustly leads to the ability to whiteboard transparently. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "methodologies". It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to generate defiantly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral process management and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The e-businesses factor is interactive. Think super-visionary. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to maximize virtually. The technologies factor is user-defined. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. We understand that it is better to unleash dynamically than to disintermediate robustly. Without sufficient nano-magnetic CAD, schemas are forced to become global. Think impactful. Think one-to-one. Think global, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate aggregation, eyeballs are forced to become scalable. We will monetize the standard industry jargon-based term "co-branded". Without appropriate all-hands meetings, supply-chains are forced to become co-branded. Without e-markets, you will lack R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We usually orchestrate short-term research and development metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! EETimes has refactored the idea of process management. We have come to know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also architect micro-cyber-vertically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to unleash. Think super-synergistic. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for performance management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. If you iterate strategically, you may have to deliver seamlessly. We realize that it is better to synergize mega-globally than to disintermediate holistically. Think magnetic. Think value-added. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the aptitude of returns-on-investment to unleash. Think strategic.