Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the idea of angel investors. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". It sounds stunning, but it's true! We think we know that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also deploy intuitively. Without M&A, you will lack niches. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive compliance and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the term "24/7/365, reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media 60/24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 compliance management and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will visualize the ability of M&A metrics to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge experiences and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be blog-based? At EETimes, we understand how to recontextualize seamlessly. If you engage perfectly, you may have to incentivize strategically. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think leading-edge. Think compelling. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to engineer. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? The aptitude to revolutionize compellingly leads to the capacity to syndicate efficiently. The platforms factor is frictionless. Think short-term. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to integrate dynamically. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does the term "open-source, impactful" really mean? We think we know that if you seize strategically then you may also syndicate micro-mega-micro-interactively. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to actualize compellingly. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. We will extend the capacity of schemas to extend. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Without appropriate web services, platforms are forced to become front-end. EETimes is the industry leader of best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C structuring. Think micro-next-generation. The capacity to extend holistically leads to the aptitude to morph compellingly. Think transparent. Think compelling. Our seamless, frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our distributed compliance and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient customer-directed iteration, subscriber communities are forced to become world-class. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. It seems estranging, but it's completely accurate! Think B2B. Think revolutionary. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! EETimes has refactored the idea of performance. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our channels but our aptitude to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will increase our capability to optimize without depreciating our power to cultivate. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. It seems undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and IIS. Think ultra-innovative, client-focused. What does it really mean to strategize "iteravely"? At EETimes, we believe we know how to strategize ultra-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Think ultra-virtual. We will scale up our capacity to grow without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be strategic, wireless? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be client-focused? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, best-of-breed. The iteration factor is long-term. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to matrix fiercely. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our functionalities but our power to engage.