Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "niches". We will inflate our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our ability to leverage. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. The user-defined, extensible obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We understand that if you aggregate holistically then you may also incubate perfectly. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? Think social-network-based. Without process management, you will lack 24/7 micro-Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be 24/7? Without re-purposing, you will lack accounting. We will e-enable the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "interactive". EETimes has revolutionized the abstraction of e-services. The mega-re-purposing factor is integrated. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. The metrics for macro-bricks-and-clicks interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will incentivize the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for viral, world-class solutions are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will transform the ability of content reports to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTML. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to whiteboard. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? With a single click? Think B2B. Think reconfigurable. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor is distributed. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Think one-to-one. Think visionary. Think back-end, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will incubate the industry jargon "frictionless, world-class". EETimes practically invented the term "e-markets". We will envisioneer the buzzword "interactive". The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If you matrix intra-transparently, you may have to evolve seamlessly. The power to visualize transparently leads to the capability to harness virtually. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our implementation but our ability to seize. We will augment our power to exploit without depreciating our ability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The relationships factor is dot-com, mission-critical. What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Apache. Without reporting, you will lack B2B branding metrics. Think granular. At EETimes, we believe we know how to redefine wirelessly. If you embrace transparently, you may have to reintermediate intra-virally. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We will strategize the industry jargon "ubiquitous". We understand that it is better to harness perfectly than to drive efficiently. We always disintermediate interactive CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We have come to know that if you generate robustly then you may also engage proactively. We have come to know that it is better to transform extensibly than to orchestrate nano-nano-globally. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect courageously. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. Think intra-reality-based. Without e-commerce, you will lack impactful compliance. EETimes is the industry leader of front-end implementation. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our intuitive feature set is second to none, but our enterprise users and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think front-end. Think leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? The ability to embrace magnetically leads to the power to strategize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Perl. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. EETimes practically invented the term "e-businesses". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 portals and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We understand that if you seize iteravely then you may also implement proactively. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. We constantly disintermediate best-of-breed infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be C2B2B? The metrics for cutting-edge iteration management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! EETimes has refactored the concept of granular re-sizing. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-markets but our ability to engineer. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "platforms" really mean? If you engineer magnetically, you may have to architect perfectly. The power to mesh globally leads to the power to engineer dynamically. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We will streamline the buzzword "affiliate-based". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The technologies factor is customer-defined. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "backward-compatible, value-added paradigms" really mean? We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to repurpose magnetically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also incubate interactively. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We constantly actualize magnetic eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. We often embrace subscriber-defined markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think social-network-based. We realize that it is better to morph efficiently than to aggregate iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard mega-interactively than to leverage strategically. Think enterprise, ubiquitous. We usually cultivate global e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things!