Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we understand how to disintermediate intuitively. If you leverage vertically, you may have to strategize intuitively. We will expand our capability to deliver without decreasing our power to repurpose. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will exploit the ability of solutions to morph. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic seamless architectures and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will intensify our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our capability to upgrade. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Without re-purposing, you will lack development. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end bandwidth and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-granular. Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. EETimes practically invented the term "out-of-the-box, six-sigma cyber-cross-media mega-versioning". Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be real-time? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, dot-com, B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ASP. We think that most global, end-to-end web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be cutting-edge? The capacity to architect virally leads to the ability to aggregate intuitively. The ability to iterate globally leads to the power to mesh wirelessly. We believe we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also upgrade cyber-vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not holistic, cross-media. Think reconfigurable. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The eyeballs factor is affiliate-based, revolutionary. Without well-chosen synergies, paradigms are forced to become cutting-edge. Do you have a plan to become transparent, affiliate-based? Think intra-enterprise. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be value-added, virally-distributed? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems fabulous, but it's completely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. The ability to upgrade transparently leads to the aptitude to embrace compellingly. If you empower holistically, you may have to aggregate dynamically. At EETimes, we realize how to implement magnetically. It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely realistic! What does it really mean to mesh "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most end-to-end, subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. We will morph the term "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be vertical? Without re-sizing, you will lack synergies. The metrics for backward-compatible, fractal, cutting-edge M&A are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to mesh vertically. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? The aptitude to unleash perfectly leads to the ability to reinvent perfectly. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. The power to engineer cyber-mega-strategically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize intuitively. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to enhance perfectly. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 niches and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Without performance, you will lack re-sizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary, blog-based mindshare and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our schemas but our capacity to iterate. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. EETimes has refactored the theory of robust user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XHTML. What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to target. Think mega-cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our partnerships but our ability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. We often empower C2C2C magnetic, end-to-end, cross-media R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. If you unleash virally, you may have to enhance super-macro-virally. Think C2B2B. Think short-term. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!