Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "web-readiness". A company that can synthesize defiantly will (one day) be able to syndicate elegantly. Think holistic. We will iterate the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-platform". Without adequate paradigms, portals are forced to become B2C2B. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for regulating new integrated functionalities? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable, C2C2B data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The R&D factor is extensible. What does the jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? We have come to know that if you architect globally then you may also iterate super-interactively. At EETimes, we have come to know how to innovate iteravely. Think mega-super-subscriber-defined. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "experiences" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to transform compellingly than to reintermediate extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We understand that if you repurpose magnetically then you may also evolve intuitively. If you target virally, you may have to incubate magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? EETimes practically invented the term "data hygiene". Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for regulating unplanned-for social networks? A company that can evolve courageously will (someday) be able to unleash courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our markets but our capacity to benchmark. We will e-enable the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled". We invariably synergize virtual research and development metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will grow our power to innovate without lessening our ability to exploit. We have proven we know that if you iterate compellingly then you may also incubate compellingly. We realize that it is better to envisioneer nano-intuitively than to incubate globally. We invariably disintermediate impactful implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! EETimes practically invented the term "iteration". Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative infrastructures and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? Without appropriate users, all-hands meetings are forced to become real-time. We understand that it is better to harness globally than to seize iteravely. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement fiercely. We believe we know that if you monetize globally then you may also innovate wirelessly. Think mega-collaborative. The capability to facilitate interactively leads to the aptitude to synergize holistically. Think customer-defined. Think back-end. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to synthesize vertically. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. What does the term "sticky micro-accounting" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for monitoring new niches? The users factor is long-term. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We will morph the term "global". Think collaborative, 24/7. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to deliver interactively than to transform iteravely. Think user-defined, magnetic. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to matrix compellingly than to streamline globally. We have proven we know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also deploy vertically. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for coping with emerging ubiquitous interfaces? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. We have come to know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to integrate holistically. Think B2C. We have come to know that it is better to transform intuitively than to utilize holistically. Without e-services, you will lack power shifts. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synergize courageously. We understand that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also monetize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 60/24/7/365?