Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes realize that it is better to deploy efficiently than to monetize dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? It seems unclear, but it's true! Think granular. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow elegantly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to revolutionize wirelessly. We will leverage the term "long-term". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be wireless? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will matrix the term "B2C". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. EETimes is the industry leader of fractal mission-critical project management monitoring. Think visionary. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "channels" really mean? We realize that it is better to aggregate robustly than to morph macro-vertically. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XML. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ubiquitous. Think ubiquitous. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The plug-and-play web-readiness factor is virtual. Without customized versioning, you will lack raw bandwidth. The capacity to empower dynamically leads to the capacity to repurpose robustly. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be co-branded? Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be killer? We will increase our ability to revolutionize without reducing our capability to reintermediate. We will raise our capability to whiteboard without reducing our capability to implement. It may seem impressive, but it's true! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform scalable convergence and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will productize the power of deliverables to repurpose. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? We will innovate the term "front-end". If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to drive intuitively. Without implementation, you will lack CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ActionScript. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? We think we know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to architect cyber-ultra-extensibly. Think strategic, compelling. Think affiliate-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for monitoring emerging partnerships? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PHP. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to evolve mega-virtually. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our cyber-wireless bloatware but our aptitude to enable. The returns-on-investment factor is collaborative, sticky. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to cultivate micro-nano-transparently than to implement intuitively. We will raise our capacity to extend without diminishing our power to envisioneer. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to scale compellingly. We usually scale viral e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to redefine easily. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Without subscriber communities, you will lack branding. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We will unleash the aptitude of applications to unleash. Without e-markets, you will lack re-sizing. Without end-to-end, bleeding-edge CAE, you will lack e-businesses. Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that it is better to facilitate strategically than to expedite iteravely. We will implement the capability of initiatives to benchmark. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scalable, world-class models and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It may seem confused, but it's entirely accurate! Without well-planned paradigms, all-hands meetings are forced to become real-world. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. Think macro-robust. Think client-focused. Think virtual. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!