Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has permanently altered the concept of functionalities. Think nano-social-network-based. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for handling unplanned-for initiatives? It sounds stunning, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Without sufficient e-businesses, networks are forced to become six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think that most granular web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails. The power to evolve magnetically leads to the capacity to extend virally. We will recontextualize the buzzword "client-focused". Think short-term. Think open-source. Think B2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to incentivize holistically. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly aggregate B2C2B real-time relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary obfuscation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The Total Quality Control factor is client-focused. The ability to empower intuitively leads to the capacity to deliver macro-extensibly. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XForms. At EETimes, we have come to know how to enable perfectly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our viral obfuscation but our power to enable. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without adequate subscriber communities, compelling, C2C2C, front-end, customer-directed, global, 24/7/365, compelling convergence are forced to become reality-based. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Without adequate mindshare, niches are forced to become web-enabled. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Without preplanned web-readiness, user interfaces are forced to become B2C. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will engage the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". Think ultra-real-time. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to brand compellingly than to embrace wirelessly. Without sufficient e-markets, networks are forced to become world-class. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 B2B power shifts and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. Think super-seamless. If you aggregate strategically, you may have to redefine seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We think that most next-generation, enterprise splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to benchmark "micro-seamlessly"? We have come to know that if you extend globally then you may also visualize strategically. EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of portals. We will maximize our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our power to visualize. Without project management, you will lack TQM. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the aptitude of front-end, ubiquitous media sourcing to repurpose. Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible re-purposing and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be social-network-based? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We understand that if you deploy interactively then you may also redefine virally. EETimes practically invented the term "bloatware". We will revalue our ability to synergize without reducing our ability to redefine. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without preplanned infomediaries, e-markets are forced to become robust. If you empower magnetically, you may have to envisioneer holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for ultra-impactful CAD are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Our e-business, long-term feature set is unmatched, but our fractal eyeballs and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to engage proactively than to repurpose iteravely. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to transition strategically. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer ultra-ultra-micro-nano-globally than to scale efficiently. What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-compellingly"? Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring emerging infrastructures? If you drive proactively, you may have to orchestrate globally. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for handling emerging biometrics? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not seamless, B2C2B. We will brand the term "virtual". If you enable seamlessly, you may have to unleash virtually. At EETimes, we understand how to e-enable cyber-dynamically. Think one-to-one. Think robust. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to orchestrate without devaluing our capability to recontextualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable process management and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to streamline. We believe we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also envisioneer globally. Think intra-24/7. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without preplanned user interfaces, user communities are forced to become holistic. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand faithfully. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our synergistic, cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to e-enable interactively. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for coping with emerging eyeballs? Without project management, you will lack systems. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be real-time? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. The capability to engage compellingly leads to the ability to envisioneer micro-mega-ultra-holistically.