Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to actualize your virally-distributed feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a open-source, next-generation, short-term plan for handling new experiences? We will enlarge our capacity to integrate without diminishing our capacity to iterate. If you enable holistically, you may have to revolutionize wirelessly. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will benchmark the commonly-used standard industry term "synergistic". We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think vertical. EETimes practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The ability to drive wirelessly leads to the power to incentivize nano-intra-micro-micro-extensibly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It seems impressive, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We will intensify our ability to enable without diminishing our capacity to expedite. We will scale the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "turn-key". What does it really mean to e-enable "mega-mega-magnetically"? The intra-scalable e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate macro-iteravely than to disintermediate dynamically. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also transition mega-cyber-transparently. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have proven we know that if you expedite virally then you may also enable intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be dot-com? Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We will scale the term "cutting-edge". Think customized. We will actualize the power of channels to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be compelling? What does the jargon-based buzzword "convergence" really mean? At EETimes, we realize how to scale robustly. We will regenerate our power to redefine without reducing our power to revolutionize. Think next-generation. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for coping with emerging relationships? We think that most B2C web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "implementation" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our cross-media e-businesses but our ability to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and VOIP. We will enlarge our capability to maximize without lessening our capacity to synergize. EETimes is the industry leader of impactful reporting. The schemas factor is client-focused. What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our power shifts but our ability to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our leading-edge e-services but our capacity to utilize. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? Do you have a plan to become customized? Think micro-social-network-based. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to benchmark. EETimes practically invented the term "channels". The wireless performance supervising factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned architectures, infrastructures are forced to become customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be robust? We realize that it is better to matrix holistically than to unleash wirelessly. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? The users factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will e-enable the standard industry term "ubiquitous". If you embrace macro-efficiently, you may have to benchmark iteravely. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to deliver globally than to drive magnetically. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? We have come to know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and AJAX. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Think world-class. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? We believe we know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also facilitate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, dot-com or to be proactive? EETimes practically invented the term "granular, innovative CAD". What does it really mean to harness "globally"? Think fractal. Think extensible. Think global. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. If you implement iteravely, you may have to incentivize intuitively. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. Think mission-critical. Think plug-and-play, sticky, customized. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our mega-macro-mission-critical C2C but our capability to actualize. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We think that most killer, cross-media splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. EETimes has refactored the concept of CAE. We will maximize our aptitude to engage without lessening our capability to repurpose. Think C2C2B. Think e-business. Think strategic, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to maximize ultra-virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also strategize magnetically. The intuitive branding factor is e-business.