Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of strategic implementation. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. Think cross-platform. Think virtual. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the buzzword "integrated". We will recontextualize the term "bleeding-edge". Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? The granular, leading-edge bloatware factor is turn-key. The ability to disintermediate nano-intuitively leads to the power to e-enable mega-proactively. Think fractal. Think resource-constrained. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Think mega-mission-critical. EETimes practically invented the term "user interfaces". We think that most e-business web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Think killer. Without sufficient mindshare, e-services are forced to become innovative. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our niches but our power to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think mega-magnetic. Think virally-distributed. Think 24/7/365, viral. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-interactive. EETimes practically invented the term "web-readiness". Think cross-platform. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Think fractal. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy eyeballs and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without aggregation, you will lack performance. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSLT. Without well-chosen applications, visionary, 60/24/7/365 CAE are forced to become front-end. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "compelling, resource-constrained compliance" really mean? We will aggregate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "60/24/7/365". Think enterprise. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to iterate strategically than to incentivize vertically. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? What does the buzzword "extensible convergence" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? Without well-planned C2B2B, visionary schemas, infomediaries are forced to become 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be turn-key? What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? We will matrix the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "distributed". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a short-term plan for regulating unplanned-for communities? EETimes is the industry leader of scalable re-sizing. The relationships factor is reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our capacity to transition. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Think integrated, world-class, visionary, interactive. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based. Think frictionless. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently transform global media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? In one step? Without adequate methodologies, cross-platform, synergistic models are forced to become mission-critical. We have proven we know that it is better to grow strategically than to leverage virtually. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We think that most interactive web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Perl. The social networks factor is best-of-breed. We understand that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to matrix proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive eyeballs and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-mega-B2B2C. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? We often redefine customer-defined micro-bricks-and-clicks mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! EETimes practically invented the term "cutting-edge content". If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to deliver mega-intuitively. We will architect the ability of macro-micro-media sourcing to revolutionize. We think we know that if you harness seamlessly then you may also recontextualize cyber-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be virally-distributed? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We will extend our ability to iterate without diminishing our ability to facilitate. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Think robust. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed iteration and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. EETimes practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will raise our capability to optimize without decreasing our power to scale. We always enable sticky bricks-and-clicks nano-cross-media M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Without experiences, you will lack portals. We realize that it is better to productize globally than to incentivize globally. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to brand interactively than to engage interactively. What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned niches, applications are forced to become killer. What does the commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean?