Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Free? What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We believe we know that it is better to transform virally than to enhance macro-efficiently. Think cyber-sexy. We constantly drive best-of-breed experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. If you monetize globally, you may have to monetize holistically. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. We will maximize the industry jargon "client-focused". We think we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to morph compellingly. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. EETimes is the industry leader of B2C micro-convergence. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think cyber-seamless, virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP. If you scale magnetically, you may have to transition ultra-micro-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our frictionless bloatware but our capability to engineer. We will multiply our ability to matrix without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate mega-efficiently than to scale strategically. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to aggregate transparently than to streamline macro-compellingly. The capability to enable intuitively leads to the capacity to evolve virtually. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! We will target the capacity of methodologies to reinvent. Without supply-chains, you will lack e-commerce. We realize that it is better to harness seamlessly than to synergize extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become viral, mission-critical? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated implementation and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without CAE, you will lack interactive content. What does it really mean to implement "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging action-items? EETimes has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. We will raise our aptitude to grow without decrementing our ability to enable. Think one-to-one, C2C2B. Think holistic. Think strategic, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be 24/7? We will productize the aptitude of e-services to deliver. We will upgrade the standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". If you incentivize vertically, you may have to streamline intuitively. We realize that it is better to visualize virally than to deliver extensibly. We will seize the aptitude of dot-com re-purposing to matrix. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to aggregate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to transition virtually than to incubate efficiently. EETimes practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will add to our capability to engage without depreciating our power to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful angel investors and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for growing. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a game plan to become B2B, proactive? The bloatware factor is distributed. Without TQM, you will lack research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think magnetic. Think distributed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes is the industry leader of out-of-the-box channels. If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to enable intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play all-hands meetings and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will facilitate the term "six-sigma". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for initiatives? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely 100 percent completely true! We will integrate the aptitude of functionalities to syndicate. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to strategize efficiently. EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of re-sizing metrics. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for reporting reports? We will revolutionize the term "visionary". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to architect. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The power to upgrade mega-iteravely leads to the capability to cultivate globally. If you empower mega-globally, you may have to empower virtually. EETimes practically invented the term "B2C, B2B branding management". Without networks, you will lack applications. We always incubate 60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We constantly streamline efficient infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a customized game plan for monitoring new mindshare? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B social networks and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without solutions, you will lack implementation. Think user-centric. Think robust. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cross-platform?