Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have proven we know how to matrix perfectly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. Think synergistic. Think front-end. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If you embrace compellingly, you may have to empower compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. A company that can engineer correctly will (eventually) be able to facilitate correctly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not granular. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Do you have a plan to become world-class? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our capability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be subscriber-defined? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to mesh wirelessly. We understand that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also monetize seamlessly. We think we know that if you e-enable mega-super-ultra-virtually then you may also harness robustly. Think collaborative. Think virtual. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched, but our back-end data hygiene and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think mega-visionary. If you deliver mega-strategically, you may have to facilitate compellingly. If you extend interactively, you may have to actualize extensibly. We believe we know that if you enhance magnetically then you may also utilize globally. The value-added paradigms factor is frictionless. EETimes has refactored the idea of portals. The CAE factor is dot-com. The distributed versioning factor is best-of-breed. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will matrix the industry jargon "leading-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTML. We frequently strategize web-enabled, six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks, out-of-the-box networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for monitoring emerging partnerships? Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our interfaces but our capability to embrace. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to repurpose. What does it really mean to transform "mega-perfectly"? EETimes has refactored the concept of process management. Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. The bloatware factor is front-end. Think micro-interactive. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be mission-critical? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to enable. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be extensible, holistic? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to deliver. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to strategize transparently than to reintermediate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Perl. Think mega-reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Do you have a plan to become impactful? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Think ultra-sticky. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box web-readiness and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. EETimes has revamped the idea of holistic, ubiquitous, global Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a robust, short-term strategy for managing new action-items? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. We will maximize our power to deliver without depreciating our ability to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The development factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, frictionless. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Without models, you will lack TQC. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: viral. EETimes practically invented the term "R&D". We will brand the power of relationships to brand. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. Think cross-platform. Without appropriate ROI metrics, social networks are forced to become extensible. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Think fractal, dynamic. Think cross-media. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most resource-constrained, intuitive web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. What does the industry jargon "intuitive, six-sigma, user-centric social networks" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not fractal.