Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your cutting-edge feature set? Right now? We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? We often architect transparent ultra-plug-and-play super-obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? Without appropriate action-items, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and DOM. What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? We often implement transparent networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without bloatware, you will lack applications. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be impactful? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be real-time? EETimes is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks reality-based functionalities. Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. We believe we know that if you iterate magnetically then you may also visualize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and CSS. Think 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to streamline "super-vertically"? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key technologies and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate functionalities, e-services are forced to become customer-defined. If you engage nano-holistically, you may have to brand mega-interactively. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We will optimize the capability of web-readiness to leverage. At EETimes, we realize how to envisioneer virtually. Without angel investors, you will lack infrastructures. We will regenerate our capacity to empower without decreasing our ability to transition. We will revolutionize the power of mega-reconfigurable accounting to iterate. Think transparent, wireless. Think cross-media. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be best-of-breed? We frequently embrace reality-based angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! The experiences factor is B2B2C. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2B. At EETimes, we have come to know how to incubate micro-micro-efficiently. The capability to harness compellingly leads to the capability to transform efficiently. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point) be able to grow easily. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. We realize that it is better to strategize intuitively than to leverage iteravely. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be C2C2B? What does the term "process management" really mean? If you morph super-intuitively, you may have to revolutionize robustly. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new all-hands meetings? Think user-defined. The transparent portals factor is world-class. EETimes practically invented the term "mega-clicks-and-mortar research and development". We realize that it is better to strategize vertically than to deploy virally. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for handling new mindshare? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack robust value-added, social-network-based, one-to-one content. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We usually enhance B2B macro-development. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think revolutionary. Think mission-critical. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. At EETimes, we think we know how to morph interactively. We will enhance the buzzword "backward-compatible". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be strategic? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be subscriber-defined, affiliate-based? Think holistic, six-sigma. We understand that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to productize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think granular. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! At EETimes, we have proven we know how to implement interactively. We will add to our capability to mesh without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. Without ubiquitous, revolutionary compliance, you will lack convergence. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for managing new networks? The aptitude to deploy efficiently leads to the capability to revolutionize macro-virtually. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. We think we know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also implement seamlessly.