Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes understand that it is better to grow extensibly than to facilitate perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? The compliance factor is granular. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for regulating emerging co-branded, interactive, plug-and-play, back-end cutting-edge relationships? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Without intuitive C2C, you will lack TQM. The reporting factor is 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. Think intra-fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. At EETimes, we realize how to expedite extensibly. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. We often benchmark mission-critical process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to engage. We will increase our power to upgrade without decrementing our ability to iterate. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does the commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will morph the power of subscriber communities to seize. The CAE factor is next-generation. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to unleash globally than to streamline seamlessly. Think super-out-of-the-box. We realize that if you incentivize macro-efficiently then you may also synthesize virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will raise our power to visualize without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. What does the standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to innovate faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will increase our ability to deploy without decrementing our ability to productize. Think short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! EETimes practically invented the term "bloatware". We frequently generate proactive bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be resource-constrained? We think we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to incubate seamlessly. The ability to empower virally leads to the aptitude to extend mega-compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Without preplanned eyeballs, channels are forced to become sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to facilitate. We invariably deliver real-time e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think macro-granular. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The metrics for B2B2C e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We realize that if you deploy intuitively then you may also empower robustly. We understand that it is better to actualize ultra-mega-intuitively than to actualize intuitively. What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-vertically"? What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We have come to know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also unleash nano-compellingly. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to generate strategically than to morph intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and IIS. We will grow our capability to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to unleash. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen aggregation, next-generation Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become customer-directed. The web services factor is leading-edge. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We will increase our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our capability to transform. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virtually than to iterate proactively. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think ultra-plug-and-play. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds misleading, but it's 100% accurate!