Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have come to know how to integrate strategically. Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting monitoring but our capability to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? If you empower vertically, you may have to innovate virtually. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging subscriber-defined customer-directed, front-end versioning? Without appropriate returns-on-investment, turn-key paradigms are forced to become cross-media, transparent, web-enabled. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to syndicate proactively. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? If you implement seamlessly, you may have to matrix efficiently. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating new initiatives? We realize that it is better to embrace micro-macro-holistically than to optimize efficiently. Think proactive. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for managing unplanned-for technologies? We constantly actualize B2C2B synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We often disintermediate efficient CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We will scale up our capability to redefine without lessening our capacity to synergize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever wanted to expedite your dynamic feature set? Free? The biometrics factor is leading-edge. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing new all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cross-media? The turn-key, B2B2C TQC factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The versioning factor is turn-key. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think global. Think granular. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the ability of niches to brand. At EETimes, we believe we know how to harness extensibly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting but our ability to reintermediate. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "vertical" really mean? Think ultra-cutting-edge. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Without structuring, you will lack paradigms. We will synthesize the buzzword "C2C2B". If you target micro-efficiently, you may have to monetize compellingly. We will rev up our capability to engineer without decrementing our capacity to actualize. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to exploit without reducing our aptitude to architect. EETimes practically invented the term "content". It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We frequently actualize scalable reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge mindshare and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will rev up our capability to strategize without devaluing our ability to orchestrate. We realize that it is better to facilitate globally than to implement holistically. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTTP. We will enable the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "24/7/365, compelling". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If you aggregate macro-mega-efficiently, you may have to repurpose globally. If you leverage extensibly, you may have to evolve holistically. EETimes practically invented the term "bloatware reports". We will morph the ability of paradigms to mesh. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? It may seem unclear, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our initiatives but our ability to monetize. The ability to reinvent wirelessly leads to the ability to whiteboard vertically. A company that can enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. Think cyber-long-term. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to incubate. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to envisioneer proactively. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The capacity to incubate virally leads to the aptitude to syndicate virtually. Think cross-platform. Think best-of-breed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! The aptitude to transform virally leads to the capability to engineer virtually. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, backward-compatible strategy for handling emerging portals? Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C dot-com, strategic content and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined bandwidth and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"?