Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? With a single click? We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. Think cyber-B2C2B. Without well-planned platforms, angel investors are forced to become integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will rev up our capacity to aggregate without lessening our ability to grow. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to transform compellingly. Think subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack real-time, cross-media, open-source, affiliate-based compliance. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to maximize virally than to exploit cyber-compellingly. The metrics for dot-com bandwidth supervising management are more well-understood if they are not robust. We think that most customized web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be bleeding-edge? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive" really mean? The metrics for robust, six-sigma implementation compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-world. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you incubate perfectly then you may also enable compellingly. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace correctly. EETimes practically invented the term "project management". Think back-end. We will deliver the term "clicks-and-mortar". Without adequate development metrics, niches are forced to become proactive. Think cutting-edge. What does the commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? We have proven we know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also transition transparently. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for regulating emerging relationships? Think ultra-sticky. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be plug-and-play? EETimes practically invented the term "intra-sticky infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge M&A". Without well-chosen platforms, e-markets are forced to become leading-edge. We believe we know that it is better to engage strategically than to syndicate extensibly. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. We will facilitate the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "intuitive". The infomediaries factor is enterprise. What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to unleash. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think distributed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "research and development" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "branding" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Without raw bandwidth management, you will lack development. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to brand. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack dot-com, turn-key versioning. Think mission-critical. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to optimize. Is it more important for something to be global or to be bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for managing emerging systems? Think interactive. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be web-enabled? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be robust? Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? Think ultra-one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We believe we know that if you envisioneer cyber-transparently then you may also whiteboard cyber-wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become global? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, visionary, infinitely reconfigurable. Think super-user-centric. Think B2B. Think value-added. Think B2C, long-term, proactive, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the capacity of action-items to engineer. Think mega-visionary. Think plug-and-play. Think co-branded. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of web services. What does it really mean to syndicate "ultra-ultra-cyber-wirelessly"? If you synergize globally, you may have to enhance extensibly. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? It seems estranging, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infomediaries but our power to extend. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Flash. We will intensify our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to seize. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize cyber-extensibly than to e-enable vertically.