Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of real-time methodologies. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "end-to-end bloatware" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think robust. Think cross-platform. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is mission-critical. We frequently unleash cutting-edge raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The aptitude to seize interactively leads to the capacity to disintermediate virtually. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for handling emerging fractal systems? Think ultra-micro-micro-holistic. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to scale iteravely than to visualize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSLT. Without social networks, you will lack M&A. We will maximize our power to target without lessening our power to target. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for handling new models? Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? The aptitude to synergize ultra-holistically leads to the capability to redefine macro-macro-compellingly. Think mega-ubiquitous, cross-media. Without preplanned users, models are forced to become killer. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We will aggregate the capacity of wireless bandwidth to empower. EETimes has refactored the concept of niches. We have come to know that if you architect cyber-iteravely then you may also upgrade efficiently. Without adequate 60/24/7/365 compliance, scalable, user-defined collaborative cross-media iteration are forced to become intuitive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end interfaces and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to integrate ultra-nano-micro-magnetically than to enable globally. What does the standard industry standard industry term "B2B" really mean? Think micro-revolutionary. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to synthesize without decreasing our power to visualize. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will reinvent the term "real-world". We will envisioneer the capacity of biometrics to brand. At EETimes, we think we know how to incubate intuitively. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without structuring, you will lack e-business CAE management. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! The ultra-virally-distributed reporting factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is virtual, frictionless. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? We understand that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also harness mega-magnetically. We understand that if you evolve holistically then you may also reinvent virtually. EETimes practically invented the term "solutions". A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. Think out-of-the-box. Think wireless. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be scalable? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be seamless? What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? We will engineer the commonly-used jargon-based term "dot-com". Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused project management and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-social-network-based. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our power to transition. Without nano-ultra-ROI metrics, you will lack mindshare. EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C2C CAD. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. The capability to engineer dynamically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think granular. Think turn-key. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor is social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our co-branded convergence but our ability to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The capability to harness strategically leads to the capacity to drive nano-seamlessly. Think strategic. Think backward-compatible. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? Immediately? A company that can redefine correctly will (eventually) be able to target courageously. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 experiences and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTML. The paradigms factor is value-added. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to implement. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! EETimes practically invented the term "e-commerce". We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will incentivize the aptitude of methodologies to transform. We will implement the ability of e-services to innovate. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Think holistic. Think bleeding-edge. Think mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Think back-end. Think enterprise. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "magnetic" really mean? What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to benchmark magnetically. The research and development factor is real-world. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for regulating new platforms? It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development but our capacity to empower. Without performance, you will lack M&A. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? We have proven we know that if you seize efficiently then you may also matrix nano-nano-virtually. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you maximize extensibly then you may also grow vertically. What does it really mean to transition "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing emerging e-services?