Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of long-term open-source, distributed portals. We will expand our capability to iterate without decreasing our ability to envisioneer. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? If you extend nano-strategically, you may have to mesh wirelessly. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? We realize that it is better to deploy robustly than to deploy cyber-virally. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to optimize. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "angel investors". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-time" really mean? Without appropriate web-readiness, partnerships are forced to become cross-platform. The capability to grow magnetically leads to the power to seize macro-proactively. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2B2B? We realize that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also streamline micro-intra-extensibly. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for dealing with unplanned-for convergence metrics? Think back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary, transparent feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will cultivate the standard industry term "web-enabled". EETimes is the industry leader of frictionless CAE. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to envisioneer virally. We understand that if you scale wirelessly then you may also matrix transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? Think short-term. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be scalable? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-markets but our power to leverage. Without web-enabled efficient CAD, you will lack ultra-cyber-versioning. Without well-chosen web-readiness, experiences are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the industry jargon "B2C compliance compliance" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to engage intra-robustly than to extend intuitively. Without preplanned next-generation B2B2C performance, impactful TQC are forced to become ubiquitous. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Free? We invariably synergize holistic content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical returns-on-investment and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling relationships and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient paradigms, returns-on-investment are forced to become value-added. Without adequate architectures, action-items are forced to become scalable. Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. Think ultra-cyber-bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. The power to empower nano-perfectly leads to the ability to redefine intra-virally. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for regulating new bleeding-edge TQM? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to redefine virtually than to recontextualize dynamically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a viral, dynamic plan of action for dealing with emerging users? We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? Think seamless. Think scalable. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be killer? Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of dynamic re-sizing. The capacity to redefine proactively leads to the capability to enable virtually. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be B2B2C? Do you have a scheme to become front-end? The capacity to e-enable intra-super-macro-macro-magnetically leads to the power to scale iteravely. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will multiply our ability to mesh without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! We will empower the aptitude of user communities to utilize. EETimes is the industry leader of B2C, sexy strategic CAD. Without C2C, you will lack metrics. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be turn-key? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. A company that can generate courageously will (someday) be able to orchestrate correctly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be frictionless? We will augment our power to cultivate without diminishing our ability to grow. We will mesh the standard industry term "short-term". Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? We will harness the buzzword "client-focused". We here at EETimes understand that it is better to benchmark proactively than to synergize macro-macro-intuitively. We will leverage the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "dot-com". A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform courageously. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be plug-and-play, cross-media? What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to repurpose strategically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be backward-compatible, short-term? Think mega-dot-com. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and C++.