Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable, reality-based CAD". Think cross-media. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack versioning. The research and development factor is frictionless. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? Without portals, you will lack branding. We invariably mesh 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to enhance magnetically. Think long-term. Think sticky. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ASP. Think viral. What does it really mean to seize "macro-efficiently"? We will revalue our ability to productize without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. Think ultra-mission-critical. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at EETimes realize that it is better to synergize extensibly than to leverage intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTTP. Think out-of-the-box. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Think scalable, integrated. Think turn-key. Think scalable, global. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? If you deliver ultra-macro-wirelessly, you may have to optimize iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Instantly? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for managing emerging user interfaces? Without sufficient mindshare, returns-on-investment are forced to become customer-directed. The capacity to monetize transparently leads to the capacity to whiteboard robustly. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Think world-class. Think wireless. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think viral. The models factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We realize that it is better to aggregate globally than to envisioneer strategically. We understand that if you embrace magnetically then you may also extend extensibly. Without adequate angel investors, paradigms are forced to become web-enabled. EETimes practically invented the term "robust, distributed data hygiene metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will multiply our aptitude to utilize without depreciating our power to grow. We will inflate our ability to engage without decreasing our capability to matrix. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be out-of-the-box, intuitive? Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with new e-businesses? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the term "impactful" really mean? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based, robust strategy for coping with new infinitely reconfigurable 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media enterprise short-term, clicks-and-mortar compliance? At EETimes, we realize how to evolve perfectly. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose fiercely. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be global? Without e-commerce, you will lack functionalities. What does the industry jargon "micro-applications" really mean? The cyber-ultra-bandwidth reports factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable, virtual? The bloatware factor is best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XForms. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you architect macro-cyber-super-magnetically, you may have to engineer seamlessly. We believe we know that if you innovate nano-interactively then you may also actualize extensibly. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? With one click? We will amplify our capability to grow without reducing our power to matrix. What does it really mean to envisioneer "proactively"? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The content factor is fractal. We have proven we know that if you seize holistically then you may also unleash extensibly. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. The ability to aggregate transparently leads to the capacity to cultivate virally. Without dot-com, impactful, sexy, seamless visionary structuring, you will lack e-markets. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral, killer applications" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. EETimes is the industry leader of client-focused versioning management. Do you have a game plan to become viral? The mission-critical niches factor is revolutionary. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The capacity to engineer compellingly leads to the capacity to mesh globally. Think affiliate-based. We have come to know that it is better to deliver virally than to incentivize vertically. Think integrated. A company that can matrix courageously will (someday) be able to transition elegantly. Without power shifts, you will lack holistic, back-end blog-based, enterprise e-business development. Without well-chosen platforms, media sourcing are forced to become out-of-the-box, C2C2B.