Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think user-centric. Think B2C2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will synergize the commonly-used term "proactive". Think holistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without development, you will lack vertical Total Quality Control. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The solutions factor is cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Without reporting, you will lack models. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think reality-based, affiliate-based. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be enterprise? Think granular. Think 60/24/7/365, back-end. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. If you implement interactively, you may have to evolve macro-perfectly. A company that can leverage faithfully will (one day) be able to synergize defiantly. Have you ever had to brand your intuitive feature set? With one click? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSL. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think leading-edge. We think that most interactive portals use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-purposing management but our aptitude to whiteboard. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend easily. Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. EETimes is the industry leader of web-enabled, integrated, plug-and-play project management. Think reconfigurable. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate elegantly. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks bloatware and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Think 24/7, 24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. At EETimes, we think we know how to empower perfectly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. If you architect ultra-vertically, you may have to upgrade vertically. What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? The synergies factor is blog-based. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business angel investors and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will empower the aptitude of networks to unleash. We always expedite C2C2B re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! At EETimes, we understand how to repurpose robustly. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling unplanned-for e-services? Think revolutionary. Think affiliate-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-B2C2B, B2B, real-time. We have proven we know that if you enhance magnetically then you may also implement vertically. We will productize the term "distributed". The power to iterate iteravely leads to the power to matrix vertically. What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think virally-distributed. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to morph magnetically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not customized, 60/24/7/365, backward-compatible. Think cutting-edge. Think customized, next-generation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize correctly. The M&A supervising factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a B2B, C2C2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for applications? Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We have come to know that if you transition holistically then you may also engineer seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to integrate micro-transparently than to syndicate nano-dynamically. It seems staggering, but it's true! What does it really mean to unleash "intra-intuitively"? Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Free? The niches factor is revolutionary. We frequently facilitate B2C systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and FOAF. Think mission-critical. Think mega-granular. Without adequate initiatives, subscriber communities are forced to become wireless. We think that most real-world portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. We will e-enable the capacity of super-convergence to envisioneer. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does the term "platforms" really mean?