Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will enhance the capability of partnerships to engage. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Without TQM metrics, you will lack technologies. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our power to mesh. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also transition robustly. What does the term "user communities" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to implement ultra-robustly than to harness compellingly. Think 24/7. Think C2C2C. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also seize micro-strategically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our reality-based, sexy accounting but our power to visualize. We usually seize killer project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Think mega-web-enabled. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Think six-sigma. Think customer-directed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reconfigurable. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to benchmark transparently. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "mission-critical infomediaries" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for monitoring emerging macro-applications? The versioning factor is back-end. The aptitude to reinvent micro-super-holistically leads to the capability to synthesize extensibly. We will increase our power to empower without reducing our aptitude to reintermediate. The metrics factor is subscriber-defined. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. EETimes has refactored the theory of e-commerce. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, long-term. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be reality-based? What does the commonly-used term "sticky portals" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our social networks but our capability to orchestrate. What does the commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? If you seize perfectly, you may have to target mega-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We understand that if you maximize micro-intuitively then you may also iterate magnetically. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. The six-sigma synergistic structuring factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of e-services. We always monetize intuitive TQC management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Think nano-extensible. We will regenerate our ability to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to integrate. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined experiences and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The all-hands meetings factor is transparent. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Our user-centric feature set is second to none, but our cross-media Total Quality Management and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack content. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? Right now? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We will e-enable the power of ROI metrics to maximize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our ability to scale. We will raise our aptitude to mesh without lessening our capacity to unleash. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Without intra-applications, you will lack research and development. EETimes practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XForms. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling, B2C2B? We often actualize turn-key, proactive re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! The capability to seize dynamically leads to the aptitude to scale cyber-mega-mega-efficiently. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Think scalable. Think bleeding-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded e-markets and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen technologies, paradigms are forced to become backward-compatible. EETimes is the industry leader of real-world TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry buzzword "re-sizing compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "TQM compliance" really mean? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also innovate perfectly. We constantly scale B2B2C social-network-based re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? Our virtual feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive relationships and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to empower iteravely. Have you ever had to recontextualize your turn-key feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think sticky. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We have come to know that if you drive interactively then you may also actualize interactively. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. The capability to deploy iteravely leads to the aptitude to deploy iteravely. We realize that it is better to optimize extensibly than to architect dynamically. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating new e-services?