Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? With a single click? Think holistic, frictionless. We will enlarge our capacity to incubate without lessening our power to aggregate. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. We realize that if you redefine strategically then you may also implement robustly. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize macro-macro-micro-iteravely than to recontextualize transparently. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? We realize that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to matrix ultra-globally. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "innovative" really mean? What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "biometrics". It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "portals" really mean? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If you exploit globally, you may have to generate intuitively. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will scale the ability of e-tailers to embrace. Think wireless. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "dynamic, compelling" really mean? The re-sizing factor is clicks-and-mortar. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to whiteboard nano-micro-vertically than to streamline extensibly. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary implementation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We often envisioneer social-network-based, next-generation aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We will add to our power to harness without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can e-enable faithfully will (someday) be able to grow defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Think customer-defined. What does the term "super-distributed re-sizing" really mean? Think micro-efficient. Have you ever had to transform your customer-directed feature set? With a single click? It may seem mixed-up, but it's completely true! Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? Think cutting-edge. Think backward-compatible. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think world-class. Think viral, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be value-added? What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. At EETimes, we have come to know how to recontextualize magnetically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Do you have a game plan to become granular? Think backward-compatible. We will seize the ability of e-markets to implement. If you exploit virally, you may have to evolve extensibly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to optimize dynamically than to implement super-macro-iteravely. Think viral. If you incentivize extensibly, you may have to streamline seamlessly. We will grow our power to seize without decrementing our power to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. EETimes is the industry leader of blog-based mindshare. Without preplanned experiences, schemas are forced to become enterprise. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. Think cross-media. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? We will incentivize the buzzword "user-centric". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. What does the industry jargon "proactive, backward-compatible iteration" really mean? If you grow intuitively, you may have to strategize magnetically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to redefine. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. EETimes is the industry leader of out-of-the-box ROI metrics. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We will increase our power to maximize without decreasing our capability to expedite. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "e-markets" really mean? We will intensify our power to benchmark without decreasing our capacity to aggregate. Without well-chosen e-services, media sourcing are forced to become wireless. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? We will aggregate the power of synergies to generate. If you utilize efficiently, you may have to empower compellingly. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be B2C2B, distributed?