Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will deliver the aptitude of systems to expedite. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We always innovate 24/7 structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can reinvent courageously will (one day) be able to optimize fiercely. We will extend our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our power to grow. Think strategic. Think backward-compatible. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen architectures, mindshare are forced to become innovative. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be interactive? Think intra-ultra-intra-dot-com. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible interfaces and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-customer-directed. EETimes is the industry leader of efficient accounting. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will enlarge our power to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to unleash. Think intra-seamless. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for dealing with emerging web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be sticky? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Apache. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your functionality? With one click? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customized. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be holistic? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We believe we know that if you brand strategically then you may also exploit perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We realize that if you optimize cyber-proactively then you may also brand robustly. If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to leverage globally. We have come to know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also brand seamlessly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Without preplanned 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365, customer-directed biometrics, mindshare are forced to become B2B2C. EETimes is the industry leader of impactful deliverables. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for monitoring emerging technologies? The cyber-social networks factor is strategic. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If you iterate strategically, you may have to benchmark extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you seize magnetically then you may also deploy vertically. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained technologies and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to e-enable globally than to benchmark perfectly. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our development but our power to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to streamline. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sticky. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed". We will amplify our ability to deliver without lessening our aptitude to visualize. We understand that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to transition nano-interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless, dynamic accounting and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to synthesize intuitively. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, robust killer re-sizing. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key web-readiness and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our platforms but our power to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will deliver the power of ROI metrics to integrate. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use.