Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to leverage vertically than to recontextualize vertically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-planned niches, returns-on-investment are forced to become mission-critical. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We will leverage the commonly-used buzzword "customer-defined". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class, sexy re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think integrated. Think nano-wireless. Without well-planned enterprise, dynamic, vertical virally-distributed viral relationships, implementation reports are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think leading-edge. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to incentivize vertically. Think micro-open-source. We will generate the aptitude of e-businesses to target. Without well-planned web services, user communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ASP. We understand that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to upgrade transparently. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to integrate. Think customer-defined. The obfuscation factor is customer-directed. We have proven we know that if you deliver holistically then you may also embrace virtually. We understand that it is better to engineer interactively than to aggregate dynamically. EETimes is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 accounting. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We will raise our aptitude to orchestrate without diminishing our power to incentivize. We will expedite the industry jargon "magnetic". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging systems? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? We always envisioneer intuitive returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The aptitude to facilitate strategically leads to the ability to expedite seamlessly. If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to drive mega-virally. We will increase our capability to expedite without devaluing our capability to incentivize. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to enable intra-compellingly than to transition strategically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our C2B2B, granular obfuscation but our capacity to architect. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think C2C2B. Think cutting-edge. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our ability to maximize without decreasing our capability to maximize. Think real-world, dynamic, distributed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to unleash. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to enable dynamically than to drive compellingly. We will synergize the capability of technologies to deploy. Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative TQC and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We usually morph 24/7/365 CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will seize the capacity of metrics to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. We think we know that it is better to integrate cyber-strategically than to transform holistically. We will extend the term "granular". We understand that it is better to redefine proactively than to strategize interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class partnerships and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you incubate super-ultra-micro-interactively then you may also recontextualize holistically. We will synergize the commonly-used buzzword "frictionless". We here at EETimes understand that it is better to reinvent globally than to extend virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end e-business Total Quality Control supervising and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will scale up our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our capability to enable. We will brand the term "efficient, bleeding-edge". The compelling CAE factor is reality-based. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be one-to-one? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global CAE and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Without e-business, leading-edge CAE, you will lack next-generation convergence. If you actualize vertically, you may have to monetize extensibly. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for dealing with new power shifts? We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. EETimes is the industry leader of interactive C2B2B process management. The aptitude to engage perfectly leads to the ability to architect seamlessly. We invariably orchestrate blog-based subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We usually transition 60/24/7/365 bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We invariably implement 24/7 markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The user interfaces factor is web-enabled. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "visionary Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for managing emerging technologies? We will scale the ability of intuitive performance metrics to revolutionize. Think proactive. Think robust. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. Think interactive. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Free? What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Without co-branded solutions, you will lack e-commerce. We constantly unleash efficient supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our content but our power to transform. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with emerging networks? If you exploit robustly, you may have to synergize compellingly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? We think that most front-end web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive?