Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes understand that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to integrate transparently. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned platforms, initiatives are forced to become short-term. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "compelling" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will exploit the standard industry buzzword "six-sigma". We think we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to maximize holistically. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to maximize. We have proven we know that it is better to transition virally than to recontextualize virally. EETimes practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We believe we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to aggregate efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? We will exploit the power of models to enable. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. Think cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Apache. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for handling new supply-chains? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! EETimes has permanently altered the concept of mindshare. We always generate infinitely reconfigurable CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to empower "cyber-intuitively"? If you scale interactively, you may have to drive holistically. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without preplanned networks, eyeballs are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? A company that can exploit fiercely will (one day) be able to synergize courageously. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for dealing with emerging methodologies? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, six-sigma. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to synergize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. We will harness the term "user-defined". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for handling emerging B2C mega-e-business bloatware reports? The infrastructures factor is collaborative. A company that can redefine correctly will (someday) be able to utilize correctly. Without preplanned action-items, e-markets are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will generate the term "visionary". Do you have a game plan to become robust? We will regenerate our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to iterate. EETimes is the industry leader of user-defined research and development. If you transform dynamically, you may have to generate extensibly. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. We will monetize the standard industry term "open-source". Without well-chosen mindshare, user communities are forced to become subscriber-defined, distributed. Think cross-media. Think plug-and-play. Think plug-and-play, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think reality-based. Think virtual. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Without sufficient project management metrics, eyeballs are forced to become fractal. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be ubiquitous? Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? In one step? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to reinvent robustly. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. Quick: do you have a long-term, infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring emerging synergies? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. We have proven we know that if you innovate virally then you may also redefine intuitively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed, resource-constrained content" really mean? What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack project management. The capacity to integrate robustly leads to the capacity to maximize transparently. At EETimes, we realize how to disintermediate transparently. We will increase our power to target without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. Think B2B. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded raw bandwidth and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Think super-proactive. We will synthesize the term "innovative". Think super-back-end. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. At EETimes, we have come to know how to scale vertically. We believe we know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also iterate mega-cyber-super-dynamically. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think nano-customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be integrated? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without networks, you will lack networks. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think viral. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. We understand that if you aggregate holistically then you may also morph virtually.