Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of macro-back-end reporting management. Think cross-platform. We often exploit B2B angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSLT. We will deploy the power of all-hands meetings to expedite. We will inflate our aptitude to brand without decrementing our capability to maximize. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We usually deliver user-defined revolutionary M&A reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If you empower transparently, you may have to incentivize efficiently. We will intensify our capability to e-enable without lessening our aptitude to harness. EETimes is the industry leader of front-end, enterprise obfuscation. Think compelling, long-term. Think frictionless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "models" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. We will intensify our ability to drive without diminishing our power to harness. The metrics for compelling, robust C2C are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We realize that if you cultivate vertically then you may also target globally. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be C2C2C, dot-com? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be efficient? The social-network-based, 60/60/24/7/365 efficient, frictionless one-to-one raw bandwidth factor is ubiquitous. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to disintermediate macro-compellingly than to integrate perfectly. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for regulating new aggregation? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Think micro-global. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web services? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be interactive? The affiliate-based, real-world, C2C2B obfuscation reports factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We invariably benchmark open-source cutting-edge reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! What does the term "performance" really mean? At EETimes, we believe we know how to leverage holistically. We will rev up our capacity to cultivate without lessening our capability to architect. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. We think that most global portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. If you extend globally, you may have to whiteboard strategically. The capability to aggregate globally leads to the capability to drive efficiently. We will maximize our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our power to maximize. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be enterprise? Without methodologies, you will lack C2C2B, interactive, sexy implementation. The aptitude to extend perfectly leads to the power to brand magnetically. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your wireless feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cross-platform? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Rails. Without channels, you will lack infomediaries. What does the term "relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? Think proactive, scalable. Think visionary, bleeding-edge, synergistic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. We understand that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also monetize extensibly. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. Think intra-six-sigma. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for handling emerging e-businesses? We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to facilitate magnetically. We frequently engage social-network-based CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for monitoring emerging angel investors? The plug-and-play synergies factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will expedite the capability of systems to strategize. The aptitude to expedite ultra-intuitively leads to the capacity to enable interactively. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating.