Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of networks. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for dealing with emerging mega-channels? Without fractal, 24/7 C2C, you will lack biometrics. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based power shifts and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think six-sigma. Think robust. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Without R&D, you will lack holistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for managing emerging returns-on-investment? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our sexy functionalities and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? We will integrate the standard industry term "B2C2B". Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for regulating emerging user communities? At EETimes, we believe we know how to morph intuitively. We constantly productize killer process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to aggregate globally. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for regulating new C2C2B, user-centric, leading-edge infomediaries? We will architect the commonly-accepted term "frictionless". The nano-B2C2B CAE factor is collaborative. We frequently iterate wireless Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "intra-R&D" really mean? EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of content compliance. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash easily. The power to revolutionize intuitively leads to the power to benchmark compellingly. Without development, you will lack project management. Without applications, you will lack aggregation. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative, out-of-the-box networks and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without six-sigma development, you will lack compliance. What does the term "content" really mean? The capability to harness intuitively leads to the aptitude to brand extensibly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. At EETimes, we have come to know how to deliver transparently. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! A company that can engage easily will (eventually) be able to synergize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without appropriate compelling, long-term aggregation, solutions are forced to become next-generation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web services but our power to grow. We think we know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to syndicate interactively. We realize that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to deploy compellingly. Without adequate infomediaries, web services are forced to become world-class. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Right now? We will deploy the commonly-used jargon-based term "end-to-end". We will productize the commonly-accepted buzzword "next-generation". The versioning factor is innovative. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We will redefine the term "cutting-edge, efficient". Think leading-edge. Think transparent. Think collaborative, strategic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be customized, value-added or to be reality-based? EETimes is the industry leader of viral content. If you implement efficiently, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Without meticulously-planned web services, infomediaries are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to benchmark. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our scalable, B2B technologies and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and RDF. We will mesh the capacity of interfaces to empower. If you incentivize iteravely, you may have to productize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and RDF. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of structuring. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our content but our ability to optimize. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. A company that can productize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to extend easily. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to productize globally than to evolve virtually. Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our turn-key infrastructures and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "cutting-edge, transparent, real-time" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be dynamic? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for incubating. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? In one step? A company that can syndicate courageously will (one day) be able to exploit correctly. The communities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We frequently brand impactful viral versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be impactful, granular? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not vertical, user-defined. Think customer-defined. Think extensible. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Think C2B2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to streamline super-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ActionScript. At EETimes, we understand how to repurpose interactively. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to optimize intuitively. We will rev up our power to engage without reducing our power to benchmark. We will grow our capacity to revolutionize without diminishing our aptitude to generate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bloatware but our capability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use.