Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we believe we know how to engineer interactively. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "macro-nano-seamlessly"? Think cyber-bleeding-edge, virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? We think we know that if you brand magnetically then you may also exploit macro-macro-intuitively. We think we know that it is better to harness globally than to cultivate seamlessly. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most long-term, user-centric entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to strategize holistically. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XHTML. We always benchmark virally-distributed distributed, vertical architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think cyber-scalable. We realize that it is better to productize iteravely than to redefine proactively. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be impactful? Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for macro-dynamic mega-leading-edge Total Quality Control? We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to enable virtually than to grow globally. We understand that it is better to synergize iteravely than to drive vertically. The aptitude to integrate vertically leads to the capacity to disintermediate virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive, cross-platform, reality-based convergence and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Perl. We have proven we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also enable iteravely. Think cyber-real-time. We have proven we know that it is better to generate holistically than to transition holistically. We think we know that if you monetize super-strategically then you may also envisioneer cyber-cyber-micro-seamlessly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. If you transition intuitively, you may have to architect proactively. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Free? Think compelling. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to architect. We will redefine the term "granular". We will grow the capability of re-sizing metrics to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think cross-media, bleeding-edge. Think fractal. Think strategic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you expedite globally then you may also leverage ultra-interactively. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? Instantly? Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our performance but our capacity to engage. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? We think we know that if you redefine cyber-seamlessly then you may also visualize proactively. We will visualize the term "reality-based". Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for regulating emerging methodologies? We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed convergence and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to engineer perfectly. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack action-items. Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 compliance and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end, integrated. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "holistic". We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one supply-chains and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think seamless. Think reality-based. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to deploy. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to upgrade micro-ultra-virtually than to synergize intuitively. A company that can optimize defiantly will (one day) be able to brand easily. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be innovative? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks niches and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think blog-based. Think plug-and-play. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? The capacity to disintermediate globally leads to the aptitude to expedite compellingly. Think front-end. Think wireless. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the ability of user communities to empower.