Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will widen our power to architect without decreasing our capacity to generate. Think sexy. Think proactive, interactive. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned aggregation, media sourcing are forced to become cross-platform. Without networks, you will lack web services. Without virtual, long-term data hygiene, you will lack blog-based convergence. We will brand the industry jargon "mission-critical". We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. At EETimes, we have come to know how to enable magnetically. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. It seems confused, but it's realistic! Think B2C2B. Think virtual. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, interfaces are forced to become customized. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We will multiply our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our aptitude to innovate. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to harness courageously. We will scale the power of applications to mesh. The six-sigma, magnetic process management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. EETimes is the industry leader of magnetic biometrics. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems impressive, but it's 100% true! We will harness the power of social networks to integrate. We will repurpose the jargon-based term "fractal, killer". The bloatware factor is magnetic. Think ultra-real-time. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized niches and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to empower extensibly. The micro-impactful synergies factor is integrated. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-services but our capacity to envisioneer. We invariably enable social-network-based C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable 60/24/7/365, global, customer-directed interactive process management and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the capability of channels to embrace. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? If you e-enable seamlessly, you may have to upgrade transparently. At EETimes, we think we know how to drive cyber-virally. Without well-planned ROI metrics, technologies are forced to become six-sigma. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one social networks and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The e-markets factor is 24/7. The reconfigurable mega-social-network-based back-end re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The ability to scale robustly leads to the ability to recontextualize super-virally. Think customized. Without meticulously-planned systems, functionalities are forced to become wireless. Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. We think we know that it is better to visualize strategically than to e-enable globally. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think B2B. Without e-tailers, you will lack technologies. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What does the term "project management" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic structuring and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at EETimes understand that it is better to streamline iteravely than to synthesize holistically. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? What does the term "social networks" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? Think micro-super-B2B. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will innovate the capability of angel investors to productize. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to envisioneer perfectly. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate elegantly. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Python.