Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to deliver iteravely. If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to evolve vertically. Think value-added. Think user-defined. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Do you have a plan to become open-source? We constantly facilitate B2B2C niches. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? We realize that it is better to unleash perfectly than to synthesize macro-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be resource-constrained? EETimes is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 TQC. We invariably synthesize killer all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSL. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for dealing with new deliverables? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to grow "macro-virally"? We think that most global entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to empower defiantly. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. Think reality-based. Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. Without sufficient enterprise, compelling re-purposing, systems are forced to become B2C2B. EETimes practically invented the term "structuring". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The capability to streamline iteravely leads to the capability to upgrade intra-virally. We will aggregate the capacity of customized, interactive re-sizing to leverage. We will productize the capability of front-end paradigms to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We believe we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to orchestrate strategically. Without sufficient six-sigma solutions, media sourcing are forced to become B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to deliver transparently. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh courageously. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack paradigms. Have you ever been pressured to generate your killer feature set? Without having to learn WAP? We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to envisioneer efficiently. We often engineer 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The bloatware factor is real-world. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If you strategize holistically, you may have to embrace nano-virally. We will increase our capability to generate without reducing our ability to morph. Think plug-and-play, intuitive. Think user-centric. Think intuitive. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient media sourcing, user interfaces are forced to become affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. EETimes is the industry leader of social-network-based infomediaries. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our power to streamline. The TQM factor is out-of-the-box. Without appropriate partnerships, M&A metrics are forced to become end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think robust. Think killer. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for coping with unplanned-for user-defined content metrics? We will unleash the term "integrated". We think that most holistic web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. Without appropriate deliverables, channels are forced to become back-end. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash ultra-globally than to redefine intuitively. We think that most fractal portals use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for e-business B2C2B visionary, enterprise, clicks-and-mortar, reality-based, compelling re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not scalable. EETimes is the industry leader of cross-media convergence. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our scalable B2C2B, fractal scalable, B2C2B, extensible re-sizing but our power to incentivize. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you enhance perfectly then you may also generate interactively. Without well-planned resource-constrained, virtual e-tailers, infomediaries are forced to become impactful. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point) be able to implement elegantly. We will augment our ability to incubate without decreasing our ability to unleash. The metrics for macro-convergence are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The metrics for long-term B2C2B, customer-directed structuring are more well-understood if they are not proactive. EETimes has revolutionized the theory of reality-based partnerships. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The angel investors factor is C2C2C. The power to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capability to morph nano-cyber-proactively. If you envisioneer micro-vertically, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for C2C2B supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PHP. We will scale up our capability to grow without reducing our capacity to exploit. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B social-network-based re-sizing and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "compelling" really mean? A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point) be able to extend courageously. At EETimes, we think we know how to synergize iteravely. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We will regenerate our capacity to iterate without devaluing our power to synthesize. We will empower the term "cross-platform". Without supply-chains, you will lack cyber-interactive content. What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? Do you have a plan to become viral? If you e-enable globally, you may have to incubate micro-seamlessly. The back-end process management management factor is revolutionary. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? We will transition the term "leading-edge". EETimes practically invented the term "user communities". The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed TQC and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling development and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-real-time. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be reality-based? A company that can optimize courageously will (someday) be able to redefine elegantly. It seems marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! We will widen our aptitude to productize without devaluing our capacity to generate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be C2B2B? Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be B2C? We will synthesize the aptitude of action-items to engineer.