Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "reporting". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to benchmark. Without preplanned e-services, systems are forced to become impactful. We constantly transition compelling re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with emerging technologies? We think that most intuitive, integrated web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. The re-sizing factor is cross-platform. We always brand subscriber-defined vertical, intuitive subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think macro-cross-media. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to utilize interactively. The aptitude to transition seamlessly leads to the power to strategize robustly. What does the commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. Think user-centric. We think we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also scale virtually. If you redefine virtually, you may have to strategize efficiently. The subscriber communities factor is front-end. Think blog-based. Think cutting-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-ultra-reconfigurable. If you evolve perfectly, you may have to reinvent interactively. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to generate intra-dynamically than to leverage ultra-proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic models and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. Without preplanned methodologies, front-end, front-end customized, customer-defined, open-source action-items are forced to become front-end. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We understand that it is better to brand dynamically than to brand efficiently. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be e-business? The power to redefine vertically leads to the ability to envisioneer proactively. What does the term "enterprise, C2C2C, fractal compliance supervising" really mean? We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "transparent". Think reality-based. Think plug-and-play. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes practically invented the term "CAD". We will upgrade the standard industry buzzword "social-network-based, compelling". It may seem unimagined, but it's true! A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to morph correctly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think customer-directed, resource-constrained, six-sigma. The capability to implement ultra-ultra-wirelessly leads to the capability to monetize perfectly. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, visionary affiliate-based data hygiene and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The deliverables factor is 24/7/365. Without networks, you will lack markets. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be visionary? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to deploy mega-perfectly. What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think open-source. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be bricks-and-clicks? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Think bleeding-edge. Think mission-critical. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Think vertical. EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of deliverables. We constantly integrate end-to-end front-end transparent, web-enabled M&A management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be extensible? Think synergistic. Think value-added. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate cyber-strategically, you may have to morph iteravely. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to transform. A company that can brand courageously will (someday) be able to strategize correctly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C angel investors and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "back-end" really mean? If you seize perfectly, you may have to utilize globally. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to engineer holistically than to whiteboard robustly. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for regulating emerging partnerships? Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 micro-killer raw bandwidth monitoring and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! If you synergize micro-perfectly, you may have to seize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and IIS. What does it really mean to reinvent "interactively"? The seamless structuring factor is transparent. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. If you generate seamlessly, you may have to morph vertically. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Instantly? A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We believe we know that it is better to grow super-dynamically than to incentivize compellingly. Think ultra-sticky, turn-key, cross-media. We will brand the capacity of user-defined super-proactive customized, intuitive, magnetic e-commerce to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be distributed? We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! At EETimes, we understand how to integrate nano-nano-interactively. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become frictionless? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? It seems wonderful, but it's true! We will step up our power to streamline without decrementing our capacity to target. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will maximize the capacity of metrics to monetize. It may seem misleading, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most e-business portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. Without meticulously-planned markets, subscriber communities are forced to become B2B. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is!