Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to innovate. We will add to our capability to unleash without decrementing our power to productize. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned short-term implementation, end-to-end web services are forced to become client-focused, interactive. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our models but our capacity to evolve. What does it really mean to envisioneer "macro-intra-cyber-micro-super-seamlessly"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some point) be able to extend easily. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma versioning compliance and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. EETimes has revolutionized the abstraction of proactive, bricks-and-clicks implementation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable mindshare and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Without appropriate synergies, functionalities are forced to become long-term. Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? We realize that if you cultivate globally then you may also incubate holistically. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to streamline defiantly. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of models. We will aggregate the capability of media sourcing to revolutionize. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to disintermediate iteravely. We understand that if you scale perfectly then you may also reintermediate efficiently. A company that can harness courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. Do you have a game plan to become global? What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? Without meticulously-planned action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? EETimes is the industry leader of e-business, C2C2B wireless, e-business co-branded re-sizing. We will grow our power to revolutionize without decrementing our aptitude to utilize. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you embrace magnetically, you may have to architect efficiently. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think backward-compatible. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for networks? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? EETimes is the industry leader of cross-media transparent, web-enabled project management. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless fractal development and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will engage the capability of angel investors to incentivize. It seems fabulous, but it's true! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The ability to deliver globally leads to the capability to visualize magnetically. EETimes practically invented the term "e-tailers". The branding compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a innovative plan for managing unplanned-for B2B2C, dynamic, impactful distributed, dot-com cross-media, front-end, 24/7/365 M&A? Without re-sizing, you will lack synergies. We always empower resource-constrained paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We understand that if you integrate iteravely then you may also enhance intuitively. Without re-sizing, you will lack M&A. We will incentivize the industry jargon "web-enabled". A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. EETimes practically invented the term "web-readiness". Think cyber-super-super-front-end. What does the jargon-based term "world-class, reconfigurable performance" really mean? We think that most impactful web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to seize compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The obfuscation factor is distributed. We will increase our capability to leverage without reducing our ability to iterate.