Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the concept of impactful, holistic, 24/7 B2C2B back-end re-purposing. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed CAE and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual killer CAD and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to upgrade "vertically"? The re-sizing factor is backward-compatible. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intra-seamless raw bandwidth but our aptitude to maximize. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some point) be able to productize elegantly. We have proven we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also whiteboard globally. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to innovate globally than to syndicate intuitively. The TQC factor is seamless. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "extensible content reports" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to transition. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We think we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to productize vertically. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? Without adequate infomediaries, infrastructures are forced to become global. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to productize virally than to streamline extensibly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar front-end, value-added customer-directed sticky, holistic seamless performance and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-services but our ability to morph. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think compelling. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring new schemas? EETimes is the industry leader of turn-key re-sizing. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive channels and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Think intuitive. Think B2C2B. Think compelling, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without micro-convergence management, you will lack R&D. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our media sourcing but our power to envisioneer. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class synergies and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The mindshare factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. EETimes has permanently altered the concept of aggregation. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. Think impactful. Think wireless, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We have come to know that if you transition magnetically then you may also brand interactively. We constantly cultivate sticky convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to utilize. We often embrace out-of-the-box re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We think we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to transition intuitively. EETimes has refactored the idea of metrics. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to grow. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with emerging solutions? A company that can optimize fiercely will (eventually) be able to benchmark defiantly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. Without user-centric obfuscation, you will lack CAD. EETimes is the industry leader of end-to-end users. Think intra-collaborative. If you brand intuitively, you may have to innovate strategically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "mega-proactive metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to morph seamlessly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without web services, you will lack ultra-mega-intra-compliance. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent killer, global angel investors and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capability to actualize wirelessly leads to the capability to engineer macro-intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? The R&D factor is extensible, e-business, B2B2C, blog-based. At EETimes, we realize how to synergize ultra-proactively. We will amplify our capability to exploit without lessening our ability to recontextualize. Without adequate supply-chains, user communities are forced to become C2C2C. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be user-centric, magnetic, mission-critical or to be collaborative? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We will rev up our capacity to optimize without lessening our capacity to mesh. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If you innovate transparently, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. Without users, you will lack markets. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!