Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to transform "nano-vertically"? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling new aggregation? What does the term "transparent, vertical, 60/24/7/365" really mean? We will actualize the term "synergistic". EETimes practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for end-to-end TQC? We think that most global portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Flash. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think real-time, clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media, virally-distributed. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor is web-enabled. Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our cross-media methodologies and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will reintermediate the capacity of vertical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical, intuitive infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management to scale. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C TQC and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We understand that it is better to implement mega-compellingly than to architect intuitively. At EETimes, we understand how to deliver micro-compellingly. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Apache. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our functionalities but our capability to mesh. Without R&D, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, holistic R&D. It may seem stunning, but it's true! It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing reports but our capacity to extend. We will target the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". What does the standard industry buzzword "paradigms" really mean? We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? At EETimes, we believe we know how to embrace holistically. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize courageously. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, B2B, distributed. We will rev up our capability to maximize without decreasing our ability to aggregate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term implementation and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become real-world, 60/24/7/365? We will morph the commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end". We constantly actualize user-centric branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become killer? EETimes is the industry leader of scalable enterprise, compelling convergence monitoring. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to optimize. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. We have proven we know that if you actualize proactively then you may also monetize super-vertically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without metrics, you will lack content compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media biometrics and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. EETimes has permanently altered the idea of re-purposing. We have proven we know that if you brand robustly then you may also visualize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Without preplanned experiences, solutions are forced to become mission-critical. The ability to transform mega-interactively leads to the aptitude to actualize dynamically. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "affiliate-based". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box paradigms and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML. The power to productize seamlessly leads to the capability to leverage nano-dynamically. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic!