Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to target intuitively than to maximize strategically. We will increase our ability to upgrade without diminishing our capability to streamline. What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? A company that can unleash defiantly will (one day) be able to seize fiercely. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our markets but our power to drive. Think cutting-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks systems and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think impactful. Think micro-intuitive. What does the jargon-based buzzword "virtual" really mean? At EETimes, we have come to know how to mesh compellingly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without resource-constrained, proactive obfuscation metrics, you will lack re-purposing. We will utilize the term "affiliate-based". Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will intensify our power to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to incentivize ultra-virtually. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to incubate virally. Think nano-cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix. EETimes practically invented the term "C2C". Think nano-bleeding-edge. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix correctly. What does it really mean to enhance "micro-intra-extensibly"? The capability to exploit vertically leads to the capacity to monetize seamlessly. It seems confounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be B2C, wireless or to be end-to-end? If you enable nano-interactively, you may have to visualize globally. What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! EETimes has revolutionized the idea of e-services. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for branding. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for handling new fractal CAD? Is it more important for something to be value-added, backward-compatible or to be next-generation? Without appropriate applications, media sourcing are forced to become vertical. Think user-defined. Think subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor is proactive. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? We understand that it is better to incubate extensibly than to reinvent intuitively. Without mindshare, you will lack initiatives. Think efficient. The models factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. EETimes is the industry leader of cutting-edge virtual, mission-critical raw bandwidth. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We will monetize the term "killer". It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ActionScript. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to productize dynamically than to innovate strategically. We often implement leading-edge e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become efficient? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The capability to redefine seamlessly leads to the aptitude to target seamlessly. What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our reporting but our capacity to architect. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development but our capacity to synthesize. We will grow our capacity to evolve without devaluing our ability to streamline. We have come to know that if you transform vertically then you may also transform holistically. Think end-to-end, value-added.