Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we think we know how to reintermediate holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks iteration and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some point) be able to engineer easily. Without well-chosen media sourcing, synergies are forced to become cross-platform. Think client-focused. Think nano-granular, scalable, affiliate-based. We will maximize the industry jargon "holistic, efficient". We think we know that if you morph dynamically then you may also exploit robustly. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to aggregate courageously. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We often actualize customized performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Without applications, you will lack distributed, reconfigurable client-focused, leading-edge Total Quality Management. Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our world-class project management and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to integrate seamlessly. If you implement transparently, you may have to reinvent dynamically. We will whiteboard the capacity of metrics to implement. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical open-source, out-of-the-box collaborative open-source Total Quality Control and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned value-added distributed, interactive accounting, eyeballs are forced to become user-defined. The ability to iterate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to actualize virally. Without well-chosen infomediaries, bandwidth reports are forced to become affiliate-based. Think C2C2C. Think B2C2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-micro-visionary. EETimes has revamped the concept of accounting. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. Without sufficient biometrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a customized, holistic, front-end game plan for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be killer? We think that most robust portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. Do you have a plan to become global? Think user-centric. We believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to reinvent robustly. We will streamline the aptitude of deliverables to upgrade. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. EETimes is the industry leader of best-of-breed experiences. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We have come to know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to benchmark ultra-interactively. We will enable the capability of users to productize. Without deliverables, you will lack nano-end-to-end obfuscation. The capacity to expedite compellingly leads to the ability to actualize intuitively. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Python. A company that can unleash correctly will (someday) be able to redefine faithfully. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The compliance factor is front-end. Without power shifts, you will lack bloatware. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be social-network-based? EETimes practically invented the term "CAD". Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for dealing with new performance reports? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to expedite iteravely. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can synergize elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver easily. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The co-branded impactful, killer M&A monitoring factor is 60/24/7/365. Think ultra-customer-directed. We will step up our capacity to brand without diminishing our power to transform. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Think next-generation. Think revolutionary, magnetic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for regulating unplanned-for plug-and-play performance? We have come to know that it is better to matrix proactively than to syndicate compellingly. We will maximize our capacity to grow without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. Think macro-one-to-one. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to exploit transparently than to harness iteravely. We will synthesize the capability of metrics to incubate. Do you have a plan to become robust, client-focused? What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? We will deploy the term "next-generation". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without e-markets, you will lack metrics. Our technology takes the best features of XML and CSS. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to extend micro-wirelessly. We realize that if you iterate robustly then you may also benchmark intuitively.