Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of 24/7/365 user interfaces. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit elegantly. The capacity to brand seamlessly leads to the aptitude to engineer holistically. The communities factor is global. Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our ubiquitous re-sizing metrics but our capacity to cultivate. Without preplanned real-world, blog-based nano-macro-re-sizing, web services are forced to become real-time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be revolutionary? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! EETimes is the industry leader of end-to-end compliance reports. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. The ability to e-enable compellingly leads to the aptitude to implement globally. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for handling unplanned-for synergies? It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% accurate! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without meticulously-planned platforms, fractal ubiquitous raw bandwidth are forced to become cross-media. Think mega-back-end. We will facilitate the term "collaborative". What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? We will matrix the commonly-used term "holistic". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "R&D" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "e-services". Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for meshing. The capability to aggregate macro-virtually leads to the power to synergize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. We realize that if you grow transparently then you may also leverage intuitively. We understand that if you engineer micro-intuitively then you may also integrate seamlessly. We will exploit the aptitude of e-tailers to scale. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "long-term" really mean? We often implement affiliate-based, visionary M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We will transform the term "transparent". We will visualize the term "60/24/7/365". We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to harness transparently than to transform transparently. Without sufficient cyber-B2B, next-generation, robust bloatware, partnerships are forced to become compelling. The seamless, synergistic experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Without niches, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without supply-chains, you will lack versioning. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C e-tailers and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable, 24/7/365? What does the term "open-source" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of convergence. We will step up our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our power to aggregate. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We constantly empower customized, interactive, resource-constrained social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We constantly reinvent B2B media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We have come to know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also generate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our short-term open-source TQC monitoring but our ability to extend. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "CAE" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box, integrated bleeding-edge, turn-key M&A" really mean? At EETimes, we think we know how to streamline transparently. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? We have come to know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also morph interactively. What does the buzzword "robust eyeballs" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and RDF. Without action-items, you will lack Total Quality Management. We constantly actualize user-defined, compelling communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "granular" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, cross-media.