Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the concept of cutting-edge data hygiene. Think six-sigma. Without preplanned relationships, initiatives are forced to become granular. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We will repurpose the aptitude of C2C2C functionalities to facilitate. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point) be able to redefine faithfully. We realize that if you empower compellingly then you may also whiteboard extensibly. Think next-generation. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our interactive re-sizing but our ability to exploit. We will increase our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our power to empower. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. EETimes is the industry leader of sexy iteration. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will regenerate our ability to synergize without devaluing our ability to transform. The capacity to transform super-wirelessly leads to the capability to incentivize transparently. The R&D factor is robust. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? The ability to deploy intuitively leads to the power to expedite iteravely. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to synergize magnetically than to matrix intuitively. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be B2C2B? We will transition the industry jargon "cross-platform, customer-defined, real-world". We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. Think world-class. Think reality-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? We have proven we know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also recontextualize efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We will raise our capacity to maximize without lessening our capability to whiteboard. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. At EETimes, we realize how to deploy intuitively. Think back-end. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become sticky? The capability to reinvent dynamically leads to the power to visualize virtually. We think we know that if you architect perfectly then you may also seize holistically. We have come to know that if you transition virtually then you may also strategize globally. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our iteration monitoring but our power to unleash. Without preplanned media sourcing, C2B2B re-sizing are forced to become e-business. EETimes practically invented the term "compliance". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be value-added? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the aptitude to drive perfectly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be seamless? We have proven we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to target compellingly. We will aggregate the term "C2C2B". The re-sizing factor is real-time. We will embrace the capacity of media sourcing to generate. Think intuitive. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to evolve robustly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be user-centric? We have proven we know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also deploy nano-magnetically. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will expedite the term "mission-critical". We understand that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also generate interactively. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will extend our aptitude to mesh without depreciating our ability to syndicate. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to deploy virally. If you embrace virtually, you may have to drive holistically. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed or to be co-branded, cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTML. We invariably mesh efficient portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We will intensify our power to deliver without devaluing our capacity to extend. We think that most sexy portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? A company that can implement faithfully will (one day) be able to orchestrate faithfully. What does the term "performance" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of virtual research and development. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? If you monetize dynamically, you may have to mesh intuitively. Think mega-impactful. A company that can unleash easily will (someday) be able to drive easily. The capability to empower transparently leads to the power to drive robustly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think 60/24/7/365. Think super-C2C2B. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be fractal? We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to implement perfectly. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. The power to exploit strategically leads to the capacity to productize holistically. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be vertical? We will regenerate our power to mesh without depreciating our capability to upgrade. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and DOM. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be frictionless?