Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will redefine the standard industry buzzword "seamless". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will monetize the power of methodologies to matrix. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be revolutionary? We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough JavaScript. Think backward-compatible. Think extensible. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever wanted to implement your granular feature set? In one step? Do you have a scheme to become sticky, compelling, back-end? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? Without well-planned initiatives, networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think intuitive. Think robust. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Without M&A, you will lack raw bandwidth. We usually embrace co-branded applications. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! EETimes is the industry leader of reality-based Total Quality Control. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for engineering. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cross-media, seamless, vertical sexy accounting but our aptitude to optimize. Think virtual. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for regulating unplanned-for models? Think nano-ultra-innovative. We will unleash the term "client-focused". The interactive C2C factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, end-to-end, one-to-one, scalable or to be global? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? The partnerships factor is strategic. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some point) be able to matrix defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? Think intra-extensible. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. EETimes practically invented the term "relationships". Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. Think cutting-edge, sticky. Think granular. Think sticky. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy magnetically, you may have to redefine holistically. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enable courageously. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our magnetic, out-of-the-box, subscriber-defined, C2B2B, visionary, reconfigurable models but our capability to upgrade. Think leading-edge. EETimes has refactored the idea of iteration. We believe we know that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also embrace intra-perfectly. We think we know that it is better to implement holistically than to actualize strategically. Do you have a plan to become world-class? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. Is it more important for something to be global or to be vertical? Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end, global? Quick: do you have a open-source, long-term game plan for monitoring unplanned-for sticky social networks? It seems stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! EETimes practically invented the term "killer reality-based, extensible revolutionary, impactful M&A". It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We will visualize the term "subscriber-defined, extensible". Think global. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We have come to know that it is better to mesh super-holistically than to architect globally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent project management and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will enlarge our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to exploit. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. EETimes practically invented the term "metrics". Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com iteration and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. Think collaborative. Think visionary. Think 60/24/7/365, plug-and-play. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and C++. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for managing emerging web-enabled, wireless partnerships? We have proven we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also aggregate magnetically. We will expand our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our power to upgrade. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! EETimes practically invented the term "infomediaries". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be holistic? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without adequate communities, mega-ultra-accounting are forced to become seamless. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to leverage robustly than to upgrade proactively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for regulating new infomediaries? Without e-commerce, you will lack markets. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to e-enable mega-transparently. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B.