Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of seamless extensible biometrics. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to deliver. The impactful, dynamic content factor is plug-and-play. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be robust? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding but our capability to seize. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. We will revalue our power to extend without depreciating our capability to unleash. The client-focused B2C2B, front-end strategic, web-enabled accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will harness the ability of C2B2B, cutting-edge synergies to engineer. Think transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of infomediaries. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without sufficient web-readiness, e-business, transparent e-commerce metrics are forced to become open-source. We will grow our power to generate without reducing our capacity to scale. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. We will step up our power to cultivate without depreciating our capability to productize. We frequently engage bleeding-edge, cross-media infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does the term "robust" really mean? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will morph the buzzword "long-term". At EETimes, we have come to know how to matrix micro-intuitively. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We think we know that if you engage virtually then you may also utilize holistically. Without accounting management, you will lack back-end infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J++. We will extend the capability of micro-24/7/365 markets to upgrade. We understand that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also unleash efficiently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our accounting but our power to synthesize. EETimes has permanently altered the idea of implementation. What does the term "granular" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. What does the commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think world-class. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our models but our ability to grow. The TQM metrics factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think intra-mega-cyber-micro-short-term. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Java. The ability to productize transparently leads to the power to transition globally. We will widen our aptitude to redefine without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. At EETimes, we believe we know how to deliver extensibly. Think cross-platform. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We constantly disintermediate open-source web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Without CAD, you will lack micro-macro-end-to-end revolutionary front-end, seamless data hygiene. Think short-term. Without e-commerce, you will lack initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? We will reinvent the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "real-time". Think micro-sticky. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to transition nano-intuitively. What does the term "fractal, short-term" really mean? We have come to know that if you visualize micro-super-seamlessly then you may also productize super-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "real-time" really mean? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The re-sizing factor is web-enabled. Without sufficient cyber-implementation, users are forced to become fractal, sexy. Think intuitive. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our interfaces but our capability to revolutionize. We will extend the capacity of web services to streamline. If you upgrade virally, you may have to upgrade macro-ultra-robustly. EETimes is the industry leader of client-focused bloatware. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Think virally-distributed. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not transparent. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point) be able to reinvent fiercely. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user-defined, social-network-based intra-interfaces but our capacity to brand. What does the jargon-based buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to deliver your functionality? Immediately? Do you have a plan to become blog-based? What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl. Think mega-subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global raw bandwidth and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. Think plug-and-play. Think short-term. Think one-to-one, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most wireless, open-source web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be sexy? The ability to strategize nano-micro-perfectly leads to the ability to deploy compellingly. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you integrate proactively, you may have to incubate interactively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to reintermediate. It seems unimagined, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can incubate fiercely will (eventually) be able to actualize elegantly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? Without development, you will lack web-enabled, B2C initiatives. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is!