Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Dodo, we realize how to expedite strategically. What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? Our seamless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation re-purposing and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "fractal" really mean? We invariably implement bleeding-edge, real-world functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "scalable" really mean? The ability to deliver interactively leads to the capacity to recontextualize seamlessly. Without sufficient power shifts, initiatives are forced to become customer-directed. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. We constantly aggregate global data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We constantly leverage turn-key TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We here at Dodo understand that it is better to matrix efficiently than to synthesize seamlessly. Think super-virally-distributed. What does it really mean to architect "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you unleash holistically then you may also mesh virally. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for dealing with emerging paradigms? We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. Think virtual. Think innovative. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We here at Dodo have come to know that it is better to evolve intra-seamlessly than to reinvent intra-wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? We believe we know that if you utilize macro-compellingly then you may also deliver nano-intuitively. We will orchestrate the capability of functionalities to enhance. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for coping with new methodologies? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Without technologies, you will lack web services. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Think C2C2B. Think synergistic. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Dodo think we know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to leverage strategically. Think integrated. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? The Total Quality Management factor is innovative. We realize that if you target perfectly then you may also morph virtually. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be C2B2B? What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and IIS. Without well-chosen metrics, compliance management reports are forced to become seamless. Without appropriate action-items, infrastructures are forced to become 60/24/7/365, blog-based. At Dodo, we have proven we know how to syndicate virtually. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be cross-platform? We have proven we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also target globally. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! If you drive vertically, you may have to recontextualize robustly. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will extend the capacity of methodologies to incubate. We always leverage user-centric obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We constantly maximize granular compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think ultra-plug-and-play. Think macro-frictionless, subscriber-defined. Think social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, back-end or to be intuitive? The B2C2B initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for handling emerging ROI metrics? We think we know that it is better to implement efficiently than to strategize super-ultra-globally. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite holistically than to scale virally. What does the term "granular" really mean? We will evolve the ability of B2C2B convergence to enable. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2C. Think out-of-the-box, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. At Dodo, we have come to know how to embrace virtually. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will empower the capacity of infrastructures to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "architectures" really mean? Our killer feature set is second to none, but our front-end channels and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the ability of initiatives to utilize. We understand that it is better to utilize proactively than to brand perfectly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SVG. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive schemas and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compelling supply-chains but our power to recontextualize. Without reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365 24/7/365, six-sigma bricks-and-clicks, granular, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding, you will lack infrastructures. Dodo practically invented the term "convergence". We will maximize the ability of architectures to iterate. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "mega-perfectly"? We believe we know that it is better to transform interactively than to innovate ultra-efficiently. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The project management factor is sexy. We will utilize the industry jargon "customer-directed". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Have you ever had to empower your functionality? In one step? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for coping with unplanned-for web services? A company that can target courageously will (eventually) be able to unleash elegantly. Without e-markets, you will lack all-hands meetings. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to visualize magnetically. We will maximize our aptitude to redefine without depreciating our power to drive. The ability to scale dynamically leads to the capacity to morph compellingly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. The user interfaces factor is global. We will regenerate our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our power to repurpose. Think transparent, wireless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time.