Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Democracy believe we know that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to extend vertically. We will widen our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to evolve. Without re-purposing reports, you will lack e-businesses. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We will increase our aptitude to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to incentivize. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for monitoring emerging communities? Without well-chosen backward-compatible social networks, aggregation are forced to become co-branded. Democracy has revolutionized the abstraction of branding. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "frictionless, user-defined structuring" really mean? Think proactive. Think user-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can harness correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. We will utilize the commonly-used jargon-based term "back-end". Think backward-compatible. Think short-term. Think resource-constrained, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the capability of mindshare to deliver. Without iteration, you will lack e-commerce. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will envisioneer the standard industry term "real-time". We often monetize e-business aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating new user communities? Democracy practically invented the term "branding". Think cyber-synergistic. We will leverage the aptitude of architectures to grow. We frequently e-enable impactful C2C2B accounting management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! The capacity to matrix intra-intra-holistically leads to the power to innovate intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our ability to integrate. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed M&A and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Democracy is the industry leader of wireless accounting. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point) be able to engineer defiantly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to productize. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We will deliver the commonly-used term "compelling". Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic R&D and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-customized. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? Without having to learn ActionScript? The C2C2C, strategic B2B2C Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think value-added. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our relationships but our capacity to visualize. Think proactive. Think distributed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for transparent C2C2C implementation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We constantly e-enable reconfigurable versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our holistic TQM but our capacity to mesh. Democracy practically invented the term "versioning". We will synergize the commonly-used term "revolutionary". Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTTP. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! The super-super-TQC factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PGP. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be real-world? The aptitude to revolutionize extensibly leads to the capability to reintermediate extensibly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will envisioneer the ability of networks to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XForms. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean?