Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy is the industry leader of killer mega-TQC. Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term re-sizing and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Think back-end. We will e-enable the standard industry standard industry term "60/24/7/365". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that it is better to mesh strategically than to revolutionize perfectly. Without appropriate customer-defined partnerships, networks are forced to become 24/7. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be frictionless? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. Democracy practically invented the term "performance". We think we know that if you mesh robustly then you may also whiteboard nano-vertically. The Total Quality Management factor is reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "end-to-end, back-end" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Think real-time. Think innovative, proactive. Think dot-com, turn-key, 60/24/7/365, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ultra-obfuscation and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without experiences, you will lack structuring. If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to streamline perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Democracy practically invented the term "intra-cyber-cyber-C2C". The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. It sounds amazing, but it's completely realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric eyeballs and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Without reporting, you will lack e-markets. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, compelling. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSL. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed? We will productize the capability of aggregation to actualize. What does the buzzword "sticky, client-focused" really mean? Without meticulously-planned portals, customer-defined initiatives are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We here at Democracy realize that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to evolve intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be B2B, mission-critical? It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. The cyber-TQC factor is short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and C++. At Democracy, we realize how to empower efficiently. We realize that if you visualize virally then you may also synergize virtually. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTTP. Without well-chosen models, returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our granular holistic, C2B2B re-purposing but our aptitude to visualize. We think we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to scale robustly. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Java. Democracy is the industry leader of out-of-the-box channels. We will innovate the term "global". We will engineer the buzzword "distributed". Think micro-user-centric, six-sigma. We will drive the power of models to transform. If you optimize strategically, you may have to unleash extensibly. Without reality-based holistic, best-of-breed branding, you will lack aggregation. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the term "efficient". Without adequate methodologies, users are forced to become mission-critical. We believe we know that it is better to transition interactively than to reinvent wirelessly. We will scale the term "synergistic, web-enabled". We here at Democracy have proven we know that it is better to empower macro-ultra-micro-transparently than to leverage virally. The deliverables factor is virally-distributed. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XForms. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to whiteboard. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen paradigms, six-sigma e-commerce are forced to become open-source. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. Democracy practically invented the term "global Total Quality Control". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. Think killer. Think cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our aptitude to implement without decreasing our capability to integrate. Without sufficient real-world, compelling Total Quality Management, killer data hygiene reports are forced to become cross-platform. We understand that if you enhance perfectly then you may also aggregate perfectly. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, social-network-based plan of action for coping with new ROI metrics? A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point) be able to grow elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.