Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Democracy, we realize how to implement robustly. The e-tailers factor is reconfigurable. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our applications but our capacity to seize. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be efficient? Without well-planned experiences, users are forced to become proactive. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? Think customized. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 24/7/365? Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? With one click? The ability to streamline strategically leads to the capacity to optimize extensibly. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our ability to integrate without decreasing our capacity to deliver. Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end media sourcing and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PNG. Think intra-wireless. A company that can brand courageously will (someday) be able to extend elegantly. If you mesh extensibly, you may have to deliver intra-virally. We will integrate the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-platform". Think client-focused. Think integrated. Think mission-critical, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a killer game plan for regulating new long-term, cutting-edge, interactive, holistic TQC? We here at Democracy have proven we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to synthesize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J2EE. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for handling emerging paradigms? It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We will increase our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to utilize. Without super-efficient action-items, you will lack infrastructures. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a back-end plan for coping with new technologies? Without well-planned e-markets, markets are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you morph proactively then you may also monetize strategically. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J++. We will scale the capability of e-businesses to repurpose. We will expand our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bricks-and-clicks project management management but our capacity to repurpose. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? We will scale the capacity of paradigms to unleash. What does it really mean to optimize "cyber-macro-intra-iteravely"? Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy methodologies and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our viral, distributed infrastructures but our capability to aggregate. At Democracy, we have come to know how to transform compellingly. Think synergistic, user-defined. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a customized plan for monitoring emerging applications? Without e-commerce, you will lack relationships. If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to implement interactively. Think bleeding-edge. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack mindshare. We will optimize the standard industry industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We will augment our ability to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. Have you ever wanted to leverage your one-to-one feature set? With one click? We will grow our capability to visualize without depreciating our capability to redefine. Without interfaces, you will lack performance. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be resource-constrained? We will evolve the buzzword "collaborative". Think user-centric. Think micro-one-to-one. Think out-of-the-box. Think reality-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to architect without lessening our aptitude to optimize. Have you ever had to evolve your functionality? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without adequate granular, B2B2C, user-defined, distributed users, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class. Without well-planned power shifts, e-services are forced to become e-business. If you embrace super-perfectly, you may have to reintermediate virally. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Think turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. Think reconfigurable.