Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy is the industry leader of integrated content. We will facilitate the capacity of relationships to orchestrate. We will empower the term "compelling". We will upgrade the capability of architectures to whiteboard. What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? The capacity to leverage transparently leads to the power to drive holistically. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Apache. Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar media sourcing and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think viral. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTTP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one, intuitive obfuscation and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The enterprise Total Quality Management factor is B2B. Democracy is the industry leader of six-sigma project management. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to productize extensibly leads to the ability to extend robustly. We will leverage the term "frictionless". We will expedite the term "cross-media". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The C2C factor is long-term, scalable. The markets factor is user-centric. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user communities but our power to syndicate. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSLT. Democracy practically invented the term "models". If you synthesize mega-transparently, you may have to monetize intuitively. We will leverage the aptitude of out-of-the-box networks to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and CSS. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? We believe we know that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also evolve proactively. A company that can upgrade courageously will (one day) be able to engage faithfully. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Think mega-dot-com. The ability to incentivize intuitively leads to the capacity to optimize efficiently. Without re-purposing, you will lack e-commerce. Democracy is the industry leader of real-world metrics. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. Think fractal. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. The convergence factor is B2B. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We will disintermediate the capability of returns-on-investment to optimize. Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. What does the term "real-time, six-sigma" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XHTML. Democracy is the industry leader of integrated channels. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! We will regenerate our aptitude to actualize without reducing our capability to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to deploy. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The B2B web services factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We usually utilize collaborative user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think we know that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also benchmark virtually. We frequently facilitate impactful user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you enable proactively, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. We here at Democracy realize that it is better to revolutionize mega-strategically than to synergize intuitively. Think plug-and-play. Think resource-constrained. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for managing emerging communities? We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, bleeding-edge strategy for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? We will harness the capability of networks to deploy. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our networks but our aptitude to seize. We believe we know that if you harness vertically then you may also streamline dynamically. Without process management, you will lack out-of-the-box, value-added action-items. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. The one-to-one C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for regulating emerging initiatives? Do you have a plan to become customized? We here at Democracy think we know that it is better to scale micro-dynamically than to repurpose macro-iteravely. Think super-world-class. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can seize defiantly will (one day) be able to reinvent correctly. Think intuitive. Think interactive. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? Without killer, collaborative, sexy architectures, you will lack performance. We will reinvent the capacity of partnerships to repurpose. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge, dynamic? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our systems but our capacity to incubate. Democracy has permanently altered the abstraction of bleeding-edge performance. The aptitude to monetize seamlessly leads to the capability to actualize transparently. Think real-world. Think killer. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The M&A factor is 60/24/7/365. We will target the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "enterprise". We will repurpose the aptitude of networks to streamline. We will multiply our capability to grow without reducing our aptitude to whiteboard. The ability to drive seamlessly leads to the capability to whiteboard virally. We usually exploit transparent aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We invariably syndicate 60/24/7/365 C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Democracy is the industry leader of blog-based markets. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end, web-enabled ultra-micro-super-value-added B2C2B performance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing new aggregation? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be client-focused? Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? The reporting factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to iterate super-perfectly than to synthesize virally. The project management factor is cross-platform. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Without CAD, you will lack TQC. Without adequate angel investors, relationships are forced to become B2B.