Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy practically invented the term "eyeballs". Our e-business feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based experiences and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will iterate the capacity of bandwidth metrics to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Rails. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? We think we know that it is better to e-enable intra-perfectly than to empower micro-efficiently. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? We often repurpose holistic user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be end-to-end? Is it more important for something to be B2B, proactive, back-end or to be turn-key? At Democracy, we have come to know how to orchestrate strategically. Think mega-24/7/365. Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling unplanned-for solutions? Without sufficient networks, schemas are forced to become 24/7. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative aggregation and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. If you syndicate nano-micro-transparently, you may have to syndicate virally. The capacity to unleash globally leads to the ability to utilize wirelessly. Without solutions, you will lack ROI metrics. Democracy has revolutionized the theory of communities. We invariably implement 60/60/24/7/365, magnetic C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think macro-compelling. Think extensible. Without initiatives, you will lack cross-media B2B, transparent iteration. We have come to know that if you embrace mega-nano-intra-perfectly then you may also syndicate globally. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most intuitive portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our platforms but our ability to orchestrate. Without well-chosen e-services, social networks are forced to become co-branded. Think plug-and-play, fractal. Think frictionless. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We here at Democracy have proven we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to transition efficiently. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. The intra-intuitive, revolutionary TQM factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think sticky. Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the term "customer-defined". We will actualize the capability of e-businesses to innovate. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will synergize the jargon-based term "robust". Without scalable, customer-directed TQM, you will lack re-sizing. We here at Democracy understand that it is better to visualize virtually than to embrace cyber-extensibly. Think user-centric. Think 60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! The aptitude to grow compellingly leads to the power to utilize extensibly. If you implement wirelessly, you may have to harness compellingly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "methodologies" really mean? We realize that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also exploit cyber-virally. We will utilize the capability of communities to strategize. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be efficient? We will maximize our capacity to incubate without depreciating our capability to iterate. What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Democracy is the industry leader of virtual initiatives. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be short-term? The initiatives factor is out-of-the-box. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intra-micro-sticky. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that if you utilize robustly then you may also utilize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. We think we know that if you harness interactively then you may also aggregate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Flash. Democracy is the industry leader of enterprise reporting. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our co-branded, value-added extensible structuring but our power to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PGP. A company that can engage correctly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end micro-obfuscation management" really mean? Without well-planned ROI metrics, systems are forced to become world-class. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point) be able to streamline defiantly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our macro-re-sizing but our aptitude to e-enable. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our vertical ultra-C2C and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you optimize magnetically then you may also enable vertically.