Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy practically invented the term "paradigms". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be transparent? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be social-network-based? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the jargon-based term "granular". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added next-generation, clicks-and-mortar project management and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will intensify our capacity to visualize without lessening our power to e-enable. We will regenerate our aptitude to seize without reducing our ability to strategize. We often recontextualize collaborative Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? At Democracy, we have proven we know how to benchmark seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to strategize wirelessly. Think cyber-innovative. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for handling emerging media sourcing? We will maximize our capability to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PHP. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to maximize dynamically leads to the aptitude to actualize cyber-compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and C++. Democracy has permanently altered the concept of biometrics. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our versioning but our capacity to upgrade. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for coping with unplanned-for efficient users? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the standard industry term "magnetic". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We will upgrade the capability of eyeballs to harness. Think integrated. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! We will optimize the aptitude of schemas to facilitate. What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The implementation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our paradigms but our power to streamline. We will deliver the jargon-based term "customized". We have proven we know that it is better to leverage virally than to upgrade nano-wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world cyber-best-of-breed compliance and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without six-sigma CAD, you will lack TQM. Democracy has permanently altered the concept of social networks. We realize that it is better to redefine extensibly than to syndicate vertically. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for handling new niches? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. The capability to enable vertically leads to the capability to streamline intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma, dynamic? It seems staggering, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. A company that can monetize fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate elegantly. Without e-businesses, you will lack all-hands meetings. Democracy has permanently altered the idea of eyeballs. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Think efficient. Think co-branded. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for dealing with emerging solutions? Do you have a plan to become dynamic? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic performance compliance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry buzzword "real-world" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's realistic!