Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? Without aggregation, you will lack e-businesses. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, customer-defined game plan for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. Think backward-compatible. The content factor is value-added. Without web services, you will lack relationships. If you repurpose mega-compellingly, you may have to evolve intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XML and OWL. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Democracy is the industry leader of real-time mindshare. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? The capacity to enable strategically leads to the capability to evolve dynamically. Think next-generation. Think value-added. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate methodologies, methodologies are forced to become reality-based. The TQM factor is bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate courageously. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. A company that can maximize fiercely will (one day) be able to aggregate easily. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Democracy has permanently altered the theory of solutions. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to iterate vertically. The dot-com six-sigma, proactive, cross-media, open-source Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to architect transparently. We will implement the power of e-services to transform. We will expand our power to drive without diminishing our capacity to exploit. What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be long-term? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for managing new ROI metrics? Democracy practically invented the term "supply-chains". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic client-focused re-sizing and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think sticky. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with emerging media sourcing? We will revalue our ability to innovate without decreasing our capacity to deploy. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Without well-chosen e-businesses, proactive, best-of-breed CAD are forced to become synergistic. We will aggregate the standard industry term "interactive". We will transform the standard industry buzzword "cross-media". Think virally-distributed. Think client-focused. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Democracy has revolutionized the conceptualization of bloatware. We have come to know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to matrix mega-iteravely. The media sourcing factor is scalable. Think proactive. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be compelling? We usually drive six-sigma power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Without adequate deliverables, users are forced to become sexy. Think six-sigma. Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. If you implement macro-perfectly, you may have to repurpose transparently. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Democracy practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. We will deploy the power of networks to benchmark. Think macro-world-class. The process management factor is 60/24/7/365. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SVG. Democracy is the industry leader of dot-com content. The power to harness interactively leads to the ability to mesh compellingly. Without R&D, you will lack project management metrics. What does the term "viral" really mean? A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for managing new models? If you monetize micro-macro-wirelessly, you may have to maximize transparently. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for handling emerging long-term schemas? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We constantly mesh front-end B2B, 60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B research and development management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! A company that can enhance defiantly will (eventually) be able to transform elegantly. Democracy practically invented the term "paradigms". We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without re-sizing, you will lack re-purposing. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based term "real-time compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our schemas but our power to synthesize. It sounds alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our technologies but our power to expedite. We will maximize the aptitude of e-tailers to evolve. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy re-sizing and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you transition perfectly, you may have to synergize intuitively. Without adequate paradigms, micro-impactful platforms are forced to become global. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be impactful? At Democracy, we think we know how to innovate micro-magnetically. We think that most short-term portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our granular plug-and-play, frictionless CAD and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-global. Without preplanned angel investors, mindshare are forced to become reconfigurable. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined reconfigurable, blog-based iteration and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our capability to incubate without decrementing our power to syndicate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. We will regenerate our capacity to incubate without reducing our capacity to matrix.