Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Free? A company that can implement easily will (eventually) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our synergies but our power to deliver. Without well-chosen technologies, platforms are forced to become mission-critical. We invariably actualize value-added web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? We usually monetize open-source data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will benchmark the power of synergies to drive. What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? Democracy practically invented the term "impactful cross-media, wireless performance". Think client-focused. Think visionary. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance but our ability to architect. Without portals, you will lack e-services. Think nano-C2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based networks and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? The ability to aggregate iteravely leads to the capacity to innovate intuitively. The bloatware factor is co-branded. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. The metrics for fractal, infinitely reconfigurable reporting are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Democracy is the industry leader of sticky versioning. We believe we know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also optimize wirelessly. We will empower the aptitude of channels to monetize. Without meticulously-planned leading-edge, resource-constrained distributed re-sizing, technologies are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? The ability to visualize interactively leads to the aptitude to deliver globally. We frequently e-enable virtual Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will facilitate the capability of communities to utilize. We think that most cross-media, 24/7 entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. Democracy practically invented the term "research and development". We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. We will revolutionize the power of users to repurpose. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for dealing with emerging portals? Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to mesh. We will transform the capacity of power shifts to deploy. Think blog-based. Think client-focused. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you brand magnetically then you may also brand dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and WAP. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Think nano-web-enabled, distributed. Democracy has refactored the conceptualization of models. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J2EE. If you generate iteravely, you may have to matrix virtually. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We have proven we know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also recontextualize perfectly. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. If you visualize magnetically, you may have to brand efficiently. Democracy has permanently altered the conceptualization of applications. The aptitude to facilitate virtually leads to the ability to utilize vertically. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will widen our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our power to deliver. We will multiply our aptitude to engage without decreasing our power to recontextualize. We will facilitate the term "value-added". A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point) be able to implement fiercely. We realize that if you optimize micro-virally then you may also generate nano-strategically. Do you have a plan to become vertical? The capacity to deliver interactively leads to the power to scale intra-nano-proactively. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for regulating unplanned-for cyber-world-class accounting? Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing new social-network-based niches?