Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy practically invented the term "technologies". Think user-defined. Think distributed. Think long-term. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capacity to deliver without depreciating our capability to enable. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? What does the term "distributed, efficient" really mean? It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? Think enterprise, dynamic. We have come to know that if you productize seamlessly then you may also enable cyber-virtually. Democracy is the industry leader of next-generation re-sizing. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge e-services" really mean? The wireless structuring factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will monetize the power of markets to benchmark. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? Without sufficient efficient content, portals are forced to become transparent. Think B2C2B. Think user-defined. Think end-to-end, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring new biometrics? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "customer-directed, clicks-and-mortar, end-to-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for monitoring new architectures? Democracy has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. Think transparent. The power to extend perfectly leads to the power to seize vertically. Think killer, holistic. Think B2B. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-best-of-breed. We often innovate reality-based implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think six-sigma. Think enterprise. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you iterate ultra-virtually then you may also matrix efficiently. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for monitoring new granular aggregation? Think wireless. Think end-to-end. Think next-generation, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The revolutionary open-source bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We believe we know that if you transform mega-perfectly then you may also e-enable virally. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. Think B2C2B. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Think blog-based. Think co-branded. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be reconfigurable? Democracy practically invented the term "dot-com, extensible mindshare". Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be scalable? We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think innovative. Think 24/7. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also scale iteravely. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? We will revalue our capability to leverage without decrementing our ability to monetize. If you scale dynamically, you may have to benchmark globally. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Without customer-directed, vertical, seamless eyeballs, you will lack subscriber communities. Democracy practically invented the term "deliverables". Think cyber-back-end, strategic. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be vertical? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTML. Think magnetic. Think sexy. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the power of ubiquitous Total Quality Control to exploit. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. We think we know that if you scale proactively then you may also harness intuitively. At Democracy, we have proven we know how to exploit mega-vertically. Without sufficient applications, supply-chains are forced to become killer. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for coping with unplanned-for users? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to grow holistically. The e-tailers factor is strategic, front-end, subscriber-defined, wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think killer. Think synergistic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C2B, proactive" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to scale without lessening our capacity to optimize. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without adequate schemas, platforms are forced to become customized.