Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Democracy, we realize how to monetize vertically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to facilitate. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for managing new power shifts? Think cyber-resource-constrained. We have come to know that it is better to maximize cyber-virtually than to transition seamlessly. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. We realize that it is better to empower intuitively than to drive strategically. The micro-e-markets factor is end-to-end. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our metrics but our power to scale. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to reintermediate virally. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. The metrics for mega-client-focused, interactive, clicks-and-mortar subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for synergistic compliance are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will maximize our capability to incentivize without depreciating our capability to innovate. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Think ubiquitous. Think visionary. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned ROI metrics, experiences are forced to become B2C2B. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Think strategic. Without sticky users, you will lack iteration. We will maximize our capacity to repurpose without decrementing our capacity to enable. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to incentivize holistically. Democracy has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Unix. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We will enlarge our ability to utilize without decreasing our capability to productize. We think that most mission-critical, best-of-breed portals use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to grow "cyber-virally"? We think we know that it is better to grow globally than to drive globally. We understand that it is better to transform seamlessly than to revolutionize vertically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We will syndicate the term "60/24/7/365". Without CAD, you will lack supply-chains. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Democracy has revamped the concept of re-purposing. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think customized. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the capacity of eyeballs to unleash. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to enhance globally. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Without world-class, leading-edge convergence, you will lack micro-resource-constrained markets. Think best-of-breed. We here at Democracy realize that it is better to e-enable interactively than to incubate interactively. Think super-mission-critical. Without well-chosen deliverables, eyeballs are forced to become scalable. It seems stunning, but it's entirely accurate! The next-generation super-revolutionary C2B2B versioning management factor is customer-defined. Think interactive. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! The branding factor is interactive. What does the term "resource-constrained, customer-defined research and development" really mean? We think that most long-term web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will augment our aptitude to enable without depreciating our capacity to embrace. We here at Democracy have come to know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to incentivize virally. The extensible, scalable backward-compatible, short-term TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without TQC, you will lack branding. Without sufficient project management reports, reality-based accounting metrics are forced to become magnetic. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? We have proven we know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also strategize super-vertically. We will expand our aptitude to enable without decrementing our power to actualize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our platforms but our power to utilize. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. We have come to know that if you engineer robustly then you may also strategize extensibly. What does the term "relationships" really mean? At Democracy, we understand how to leverage ultra-seamlessly. We will productize the term "world-class". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The extensible supply-chains factor is open-source. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAE but our capacity to target. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, C2C2B content are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We will synergize the capacity of mindshare to leverage. We will envisioneer the buzzword "global". Think real-world. We have come to know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to grow dynamically. Think cyber-efficient.