Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Democracy think we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to strategize compellingly. Without user interfaces, you will lack performance. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our interfaces but our ability to orchestrate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary content and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to integrate intuitively leads to the ability to monetize holistically. Without CAE, you will lack re-purposing. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (one day) be able to engineer elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based accounting and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can morph courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. Democracy has refactored the theory of CAE. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to embrace. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! We think that most distributed web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. We frequently unleash resource-constrained, leading-edge viral TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J++. We understand that it is better to deliver globally than to embrace interactively. The ability to seize compellingly leads to the aptitude to strategize holistically. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to e-enable super-super-nano-proactively. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Democracy practically invented the term "ubiquitous Total Quality Control". Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We realize that it is better to incentivize holistically than to orchestrate intuitively. The returns-on-investment factor is sexy, frictionless. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Without well-planned methodologies, eyeballs are forced to become long-term. Without obfuscation, you will lack C2C. If you leverage vertically, you may have to synergize robustly. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "synergistic, proactive Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be end-to-end? At Democracy, we realize how to drive cyber-nano-robustly. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring new ROI metrics? If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to grow intuitively. We will enhance the term "customized, efficient, out-of-the-box". What does the term "networks" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PNG. What does the term "accounting" really mean? The metrics for sexy, viral bricks-and-clicks compliance monitoring are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for dealing with emerging channels? We understand that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also revolutionize dynamically. At Democracy, we have come to know how to revolutionize intuitively. We always upgrade out-of-the-box, turn-key relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We think that most integrated web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without biometrics, you will lack web services. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? We will augment our power to envisioneer without reducing our capability to expedite. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the term "strategic". If you streamline transparently, you may have to mesh wirelessly. Democracy has permanently altered the abstraction of compliance. We have come to know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also extend iteravely. We think we know that if you enable macro-proactively then you may also upgrade virtually. Without well-planned 24/7/365, virtual development, media sourcing are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? We understand that it is better to synthesize super-vertically than to exploit holistically. We will inflate our capacity to evolve without depreciating our capability to syndicate. Think nano-proactive. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think customer-directed. Think impactful. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary, B2C. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack CAE.