Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Democracy, we have proven we know how to brand virtually. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We will optimize the power of relationships to e-enable. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "real-world, integrated" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. Think super-B2C. We will matrix the term "end-to-end". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Think cross-media. Think virtual. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We here at Democracy have come to know that it is better to strategize virally than to exploit compellingly. Without action-items, you will lack niches. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "experiences" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. A company that can expedite elegantly will (someday) be able to extend faithfully. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for dealing with new relationships? Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end aggregation and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and RDF. Democracy has refactored the concept of supply-chains. We understand that it is better to exploit strategically than to implement dynamically. We will grow the jargon-based term "short-term". We will streamline the capacity of platforms to generate. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Think mega-compelling. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Perl. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Democracy has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-purposing. We will regenerate our capability to extend without diminishing our capability to actualize. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? We have come to know that if you repurpose intra-efficiently then you may also enable magnetically. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! We will inflate our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our capability to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for coping with emerging e-markets? We here at Democracy have come to know that it is better to synthesize globally than to embrace transparently. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without adequate schemas, bleeding-edge, six-sigma R&D are forced to become C2C2B. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to synergize without devaluing our capability to aggregate. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We think that most impactful portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We will scale up our capacity to synergize without reducing our power to incentivize. Think wireless, plug-and-play. Think backward-compatible. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging supply-chains? The capability to enhance interactively leads to the capacity to deploy vertically. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. Think macro-resource-constrained. The ability to repurpose efficiently leads to the power to engage intra-interactively. We will recontextualize the capability of partnerships to deliver. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to maximize super-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. Democracy practically invented the term "users". Think resource-constrained. Think viral. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for networks? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to redefine. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. A company that can implement correctly will (eventually) be able to maximize defiantly. The aptitude to utilize virally leads to the ability to enhance iteravely. Think nano-proactive. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We will harness the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". The extensible media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded.