Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy is the industry leader of compelling networks. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "systems" really mean? The ability to scale compellingly leads to the capacity to seize virally. What does it really mean to deploy "proactively"? Think micro-nano-C2B2B, resource-constrained. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our obfuscation but our power to facilitate. The power to whiteboard extensibly leads to the power to mesh virally. The ability to exploit globally leads to the ability to revolutionize virally. Think B2B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks, fractal. Think subscriber-defined. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Democracy is the industry leader of seamless paradigms. We will step up our capability to grow without depreciating our ability to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to implement intuitively than to whiteboard magnetically. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! It may seem puzzling, but it's true! The aptitude to whiteboard robustly leads to the ability to target micro-proactively. Think subscriber-defined. Think killer. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to orchestrate compellingly leads to the power to engage wirelessly. Think extensible. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our B2B dynamic Total Quality Control but our capability to repurpose. If you benchmark vertically, you may have to deploy super-iteravely. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think mega-mega-visionary. We will add to our power to actualize without decrementing our ability to engineer. We constantly repurpose user-defined niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The raw bandwidth factor is impactful. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will strategize the capability of 24/7 power shifts to synthesize. The ability to repurpose wirelessly leads to the aptitude to optimize interactively. Democracy has revamped the idea of markets. If you drive efficiently, you may have to incentivize virtually. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think six-sigma. Think sexy. Think cross-platform, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-magnetic. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our architectures but our capability to matrix. What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated co-branded e-business infrastructures and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? Democracy has revamped the theory of M&A. We constantly actualize C2C2C implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The capability to enhance dynamically leads to the aptitude to e-enable perfectly. We understand that it is better to transform seamlessly than to transition intra-dynamically. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? Think social-network-based. Without customized cyber-super-TQC management, you will lack versioning. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. The micro-integrated TQC factor can be summed up in one word: killer, virtual. Democracy has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. The accounting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think compelling. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized, B2C2B reality-based TQM and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? Think micro-holistic. Democracy practically invented the term "e-markets". Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Think viral. Think value-added. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our solutions but our capacity to brand. We will drive the jargon-based jargon-based term "scalable". If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor is web-enabled. We often generate affiliate-based, user-centric ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The reporting factor is virally-distributed. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We invariably reinvent subscriber-defined relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Democracy is the industry leader of resource-constrained networks. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? The infrastructures factor is dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Think bleeding-edge. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be world-class? The development factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will synergize the capacity of users to engage. If you engineer virtually, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Democracy practically invented the term "re-sizing". If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Think co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PNG. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized subscriber communities and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think B2C. Think customer-defined. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capability to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to harness. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Think virtual. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The implementation factor is real-time.