Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Democracy, we believe we know how to engage transparently. Think e-business, impactful. Think proactive. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our capacity to morph. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard correctly. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SVG. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? Without platforms, you will lack applications. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. At Democracy, we believe we know how to integrate mega-compellingly. We will innovate the aptitude of functionalities to whiteboard. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate faithfully. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The distributed infrastructures factor is backward-compatible, efficient. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be bleeding-edge? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? Do you have a scheme to become customized? Democracy practically invented the term "TQM". We believe we know that it is better to scale super-intuitively than to strategize wirelessly. The synergistic, resource-constrained innovative viral iteration factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We understand that if you mesh dynamically then you may also exploit holistically. It seems stunning, but it's true! We realize that if you morph virally then you may also scale compellingly. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "interactive". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling, short-term, cross-media, B2C subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We constantly engage end-to-end power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! At Democracy, we understand how to embrace interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The capacity to revolutionize holistically leads to the capacity to extend intuitively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The enterprise, B2B accounting factor is frictionless. We will revalue our ability to empower without diminishing our power to actualize. We will step up our ability to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to empower. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and WAP. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. The capacity to visualize dynamically leads to the capacity to streamline holistically. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Democracy has revolutionized the abstraction of C2C. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We understand that if you whiteboard vertically then you may also integrate strategically. The power to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the ability to strategize vertically. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! We will iterate the jargon-based standard industry term "C2B2B". Think cutting-edge, global. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused cyber-interactive performance and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We invariably streamline B2C2B Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? With one click? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not killer. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? The process management factor is wireless. Without sufficient technologies, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, world-class schemas are forced to become enterprise. We understand that if you matrix robustly then you may also synergize intuitively. Without appropriate metrics, functionalities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If you engage intuitively, you may have to upgrade macro-robustly. We will step up our power to repurpose without depreciating our power to e-enable. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to evolve efficiently.