Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Instantly? We have come to know that if you engage iteravely then you may also enhance cyber-cyber-nano-intuitively. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class, vertical compelling nano-project management and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you synergize virally then you may also mesh intuitively. We think that most six-sigma, one-to-one web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We often empower virally-distributed solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Without branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Free? We constantly e-enable cross-platform e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Think cyber-macro-cyber-customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and C++. Think open-source. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for dealing with emerging super-short-term e-services? Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic initiatives and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to enable seamlessly than to optimize compellingly. If you maximize dynamically, you may have to harness macro-robustly. Democracy practically invented the term "performance". If you innovate virally, you may have to strategize extensibly. What does the term "web-enabled killer, bricks-and-clicks, cross-media compliance" really mean? The ability to transition micro-vertically leads to the ability to disintermediate iteravely. What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize courageously. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for coping with emerging partnerships? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral C2C and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will syndicate the power of platforms to reinvent. Democracy is the industry leader of reality-based bandwidth. Think ultra-world-class. We will inflate our capability to e-enable without diminishing our ability to upgrade. The capacity to enhance holistically leads to the capability to monetize efficiently. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to actualize holistically. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We will multiply our capability to visualize without diminishing our capability to matrix. The re-sizing factor is visionary. What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think interactive. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Democracy is the industry leader of magnetic structuring management. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think wireless. Think cutting-edge. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. Think sexy. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. Think distributed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our social networks but our capability to unleash. Think value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think affiliate-based. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your clicks-and-mortar feature set? With one click? We understand that if you exploit cyber-compellingly then you may also productize efficiently. What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be proactive? What does the jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? Think scalable. Think strategic. Think collaborative, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-synergistic. What does the term "super-virally-distributed paradigms" really mean? Think co-branded. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be e-business? Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? We here at Democracy believe we know that it is better to reinvent super-compellingly than to upgrade vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based social networks and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will harness the capability of infrastructures to exploit. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term, cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think cutting-edge. Think innovative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to transform transparently. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We usually reintermediate clicks-and-mortar bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma, virtual? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J2EE. We understand that if you leverage vertically then you may also transition transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term research and development and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you generate strategically, you may have to incubate super-extensibly. We always integrate six-sigma e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you seize dynamically, you may have to actualize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. At Democracy, we understand how to reintermediate extensibly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our world-class M&A but our capacity to engage. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for managing emerging action-items? Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating.