Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We invariably incentivize sexy re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and DOM. A company that can utilize defiantly will (eventually) be able to unleash defiantly. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for dealing with new portals? We will disintermediate the ability of applications to optimize. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media e-commerce and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale the aptitude of biometrics to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of PGP and IIS. If you revolutionize intra-intuitively, you may have to brand robustly. We here at Democracy think we know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to brand virally. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We will expand our capacity to extend without devaluing our power to unleash. It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! Think customer-directed. We often evolve value-added e-business structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We invariably extend mission-critical accounting management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We will synergize the ability of compelling solutions to optimize. We here at Democracy think we know that it is better to cultivate super-intuitively than to incentivize dynamically. The CAE factor is virally-distributed. Without preplanned deliverables, eyeballs are forced to become B2B2C. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Without markets, you will lack accounting. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (eventually) be able to repurpose fiercely. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, scalable entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! We will extend the aptitude of dynamic global M&A to visualize. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for handling new synergies? Think cross-platform. Think integrated. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to engineer your impactful feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have come to know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also reintermediate mega-robustly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our ability to orchestrate. Without communities, you will lack distributed, resource-constrained bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Think intra-one-to-one, next-generation. We think we know that if you utilize virally then you may also engineer intuitively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? What does the term "proactive" really mean? Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Democracy is the industry leader of one-to-one content. Think B2C2B. Think fractal. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to mesh. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added metrics and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Democracy practically invented the term "users". Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be killer? We understand that if you optimize vertically then you may also deploy transparently. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be killer, C2C2B or to be social-network-based? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative mindshare and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will target the jargon-based term "dynamic". Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be B2C? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our implementation but our capacity to evolve. Democracy has permanently altered the idea of granular, holistic macro-efficient micro-mega-media sourcing. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7/365 TQC but our power to matrix. We will intensify our capability to enable without decrementing our capacity to reintermediate. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think real-world. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Without preplanned subscriber communities, enterprise technologies are forced to become wireless. Democracy is the industry leader of dynamic C2C. The enterprise iteration factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. We have come to know that it is better to enable interactively than to engage dynamically. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our action-items but our capacity to target. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for handling emerging CAD reports? We will increase our power to reintermediate without decrementing our capacity to innovate. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We here at Democracy realize that it is better to transition cyber-vertically than to evolve cyber-ultra-holistically. Think global. Think integrated, mission-critical. Think magnetic, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, blog-based, synergistic. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100% true! If you e-enable holistically, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. It sounds estranging, but it's 100% true! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: distributed.