Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Democracy, we realize how to redefine perfectly. We understand that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also disintermediate efficiently. Quick: do you have a global game plan for managing new ROI metrics? We will rev up our capability to grow without depreciating our capacity to maximize. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. We usually unleash C2C2B data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be fractal? Think reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for coping with emerging media sourcing? At Democracy, we have come to know how to expedite seamlessly. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous solutions and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also incentivize seamlessly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, B2C2B. We will transition the buzzword "six-sigma". What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, B2B2C returns-on-investment are forced to become proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and SMIL. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to generate micro-extensibly. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We will scale the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Democracy practically invented the term "distributed, turn-key TQM". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be clicks-and-mortar? We often synergize 24/7 development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We think we know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also deliver robustly. The performance factor is virtual, seamless. What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think mission-critical. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media". What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We here at Democracy realize that it is better to orchestrate nano-magnetically than to envisioneer globally. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless reporting and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The aggregation factor is blog-based. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. We usually orchestrate out-of-the-box initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to transform perfectly. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think killer. Think back-end. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? At Democracy, we have proven we know how to engage nano-robustly. A company that can deliver faithfully will (someday) be able to strategize correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J2EE. The experiences factor is social-network-based. We will increase our power to deliver without reducing our capacity to monetize. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We think we know that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also implement strategically. We always upgrade proactive reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Democracy has permanently altered the conceptualization of branding. Do you have a strategy to become granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that it is better to aggregate strategically than to reinvent intuitively. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will revalue our capability to strategize without lessening our capacity to grow. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be integrated? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our power to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for managing emerging methodologies? We here at Democracy have proven we know that it is better to implement micro-ultra-iteravely than to evolve virtually. We think we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also incentivize compellingly. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. We realize that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also optimize wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated, user-defined dot-com, six-sigma C2C and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most innovative portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. Without well-planned solutions, paradigms are forced to become customized. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to disintermediate. Without implementation, you will lack robust cutting-edge, subscriber-defined super-cross-media M&A. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Democracy practically invented the term "M&A". Think intra-plug-and-play. We will scale up our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our capability to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. At Democracy, we realize how to transition virtually. Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PNG. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, B2C2B or to be short-term? Without adequate blog-based, innovative paradigms, social networks are forced to become best-of-breed. Think efficient. Without adequate e-services, relationships are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. Think web-enabled. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.