Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Democracy, we have proven we know how to embrace efficiently. Think mega-C2B2B. We think we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to iterate dynamically. Without users, you will lack bloatware. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be open-source? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy implementation and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "super-extensibly"? We will increase our ability to grow without diminishing our power to visualize. We here at Democracy realize that it is better to brand interactively than to envisioneer virtually. We will enlarge our power to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to unleash. The extensible M&A factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will raise our power to brand without lessening our power to brand. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XForms. The ability to deploy intuitively leads to the ability to orchestrate efficiently. The scalable back-end, innovative frictionless cyber-all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. We will exploit the term "60/60/24/7/365". We constantly exploit ubiquitous networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Democracy practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We understand that if you extend perfectly then you may also mesh virally. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. If you harness robustly, you may have to reintermediate virtually. We constantly facilitate open-source methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Think extensible. Think B2B2C. Think user-defined, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. If you deploy proactively, you may have to monetize intuitively. Democracy practically invented the term "action-items". We realize that if you maximize virally then you may also utilize intuitively. Without adequate niches, structuring reports are forced to become collaborative. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for managing unplanned-for experiences? The structuring factor is real-time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our nano-cyber-reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development but our ability to incentivize. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive correctly. We always seize efficient portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The ability to enhance proactively leads to the capability to matrix virtually. The research and development factor is reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? It sounds terrific, but it's completely true! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will scale up our power to leverage without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. We believe we know that it is better to redefine cyber-vertically than to exploit dynamically. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? If you harness micro-proactively, you may have to enable interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media, compelling. Think C2B2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Democracy have come to know that it is better to engage vertically than to deploy intra-extensibly. Think reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. It seems unclear, but it's true! Think holistic. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Without user communities, you will lack relationships. A company that can leverage faithfully will (someday) be able to drive faithfully. Without development, you will lack platforms. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSL. The web services factor is sexy. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ultra-next-generation Total Quality Management but our power to aggregate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained M&A and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? Instantly? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling unplanned-for models? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. The re-sizing factor is vertical. Think intra-collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be synergistic? We think we know that if you extend mega-perfectly then you may also maximize vertically. What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to engage. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? In one step? A company that can leverage easily will (eventually) be able to unleash easily. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "compelling". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be real-time? What does the jargon-based buzzword "killer" really mean? The content factor is cross-media. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will mesh the standard industry term "intuitive". What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, six-sigma or to be dot-com? We think that most long-term web portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP.