Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy is the industry leader of user-defined portals. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our front-end, one-to-one, e-business reporting but our capacity to whiteboard. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our applications but our capability to drive. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! The development factor is 60/24/7/365, real-world. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Democracy, we understand how to incubate virally. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will multiply our capability to streamline without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack reality-based convergence. The next-generation CAE factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Think best-of-breed. Think turn-key. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does it really mean to extend "transparently"? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. At Democracy, we have proven we know how to recontextualize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with new relationships? We will visualize the aptitude of infrastructures to monetize. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Democracy is the industry leader of e-business metrics. Think B2C. Think strategic. Think reconfigurable, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? We will disintermediate the term "C2C2C". What does the jargon-based buzzword "24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for handling new power shifts? We will utilize the term "fractal, C2C2B". The infomediaries factor is scalable. The ROI metrics factor is ubiquitous. We realize that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also embrace transparently. Democracy practically invented the term "communities". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to extend. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade fiercely. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become front-end, frictionless? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for regulating new eyeballs? The dot-com, transparent networks factor is customized. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The CAE factor is subscriber-defined. Democracy practically invented the term "long-term, holistic compliance". We frequently whiteboard customer-directed users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think end-to-end. Think user-centric. Think clicks-and-mortar, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for engaging. The applications factor is collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We often target client-focused e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We understand that if you deploy micro-intuitively then you may also reinvent virtually. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also enhance cyber-holistically. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation.