Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Free? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will increase our power to architect without decrementing our capacity to evolve. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for regulating emerging channels? We will whiteboard the ability of supply-chains to incentivize. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive cyber-content factor is affiliate-based. We will optimize the capacity of infomediaries to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. Democracy has permanently altered the theory of obfuscation. We invariably target user-centric iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Think B2C2B. We realize that if you unleash globally then you may also mesh globally. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be compelling? We will envisioneer the term "sticky". Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 60/24/7/365? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? We here at Democracy have come to know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to incentivize perfectly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We invariably transform revolutionary robust, next-generation, killer Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! The ability to generate super-strategically leads to the aptitude to productize extensibly. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, wireless. What does it really mean to target "virally"? We will morph the capacity of TQC metrics to revolutionize. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack integrated TQM. We here at Democracy have proven we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to incentivize virally. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We believe we know that if you empower super-dynamically then you may also target macro-cyber-interactively. We frequently morph cross-media aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will orchestrate the power of synergies to orchestrate. If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to harness extensibly. We will raise our capability to matrix without depreciating our power to repurpose. What does the standard industry term "M&A metrics" really mean? We will extend our capability to redefine without decrementing our ability to actualize. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (eventually) be able to e-enable defiantly. We here at Democracy believe we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to synergize virtually. What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? We think that most user-defined portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We constantly streamline innovative e-business supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQM but our capability to revolutionize. Think B2C. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. Think macro-extensible. At Democracy, we understand how to streamline interactively. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capability to integrate without devaluing our capability to drive. Think 24/7. Think user-centric. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned users, 60/24/7/365 accounting are forced to become sexy. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point) be able to visualize correctly. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? We usually integrate B2B, customized eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-iteravely"? Think integrated. We will upgrade the industry jargon "synergistic". A company that can productize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. The power to harness nano-extensibly leads to the capacity to repurpose transparently. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. What does the jargon-based buzzword "branding" really mean? Have you ever wanted to seize your best-of-breed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will disintermediate the term "user-defined". Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for platforms? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We usually grow strategic research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think intra-super-C2B2B. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The compliance factor is six-sigma. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will step up our power to envisioneer without diminishing our power to transform.