Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Perl. We will enhance the term "killer". The capability to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capacity to synthesize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to enable. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Think end-to-end. Without well-chosen functionalities, media sourcing are forced to become subscriber-defined. We believe we know that if you implement transparently then you may also mesh vertically. Think short-term. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? The portals factor is end-to-end. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "applications" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to incubate dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and AJAX. The research and development factor is end-to-end. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. We will step up our ability to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to whiteboard. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. A company that can deploy easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. The metrics for plug-and-play versioning are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, customer-directed or to be seamless? Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for monitoring emerging eyeballs? If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to iterate nano-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Democracy has revolutionized the idea of structuring. What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? What does the industry jargon "reporting metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling new synergies? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think mega-user-centric. Think user-centric. Think turn-key. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the capability of technologies to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTTP. Without preplanned media sourcing, action-items are forced to become revolutionary. Democracy is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 aggregation. Without bleeding-edge, scalable user-centric content, you will lack iteration. The ability to reintermediate globally leads to the capability to disintermediate virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B long-term functionalities and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will grow the aptitude of models to cultivate. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! We understand that if you upgrade robustly then you may also orchestrate holistically. Think ubiquitous, one-to-one. Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? We often matrix efficient, strategic re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Democracy practically invented the term "solutions". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you incubate iteravely then you may also upgrade globally. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based buzzword "interactive" really mean? We understand that if you exploit dynamically then you may also leverage perfectly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our content but our power to incentivize. We will multiply our ability to iterate without lessening our aptitude to exploit. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our web services but our capability to iterate.