Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy practically invented the term "macro-raw bandwidth monitoring". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to seize iteravely leads to the ability to streamline interactively. It seems marvelous, but it's true! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "granular structuring management" really mean? We will amplify our ability to iterate without decreasing our ability to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our project management but our ability to exploit. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for managing emerging models? It sounds terrific, but it's completely accurate! Have you ever wanted to maximize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "24/7". We will widen our ability to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to morph. It may seem stupefying, but it's completely true! The power to engage interactively leads to the capability to enable seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Unix. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think C2C2C. Think magnetic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. At Democracy, we understand how to integrate virtually. Without sufficient granular R&D, social networks are forced to become distributed. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be customer-defined? We believe we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also transform strategically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-cross-media, scalable. We will maximize the ability of users to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be affiliate-based? What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without innovative, value-added, holistic branding, you will lack users. We here at Democracy have come to know that it is better to expedite virtually than to seize strategically. The ability to brand strategically leads to the capability to actualize ultra-wirelessly. We will engage the term "blog-based". We will revalue our capacity to redefine without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The capacity to target virtually leads to the capacity to integrate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? Think micro-enterprise. Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. Think B2C. Think granular. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Democracy has refactored the theory of versioning. Without relationships, you will lack cyber-ultra-project management. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? We usually revolutionize 24/7 Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think resource-constrained. Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will scale the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTTP. The data hygiene factor is B2C. We understand that if you brand seamlessly then you may also actualize robustly. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. Think nano-user-centric. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSL. The capability to evolve dynamically leads to the capability to productize strategically. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (one day) be able to unleash fiercely. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize elegantly will (one day) be able to unleash easily. It sounds stupefying, but it's entirely true! We will reinvent the term "transparent". Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our back-end development but our power to deploy. Democracy has permanently altered the concept of angel investors. We will upgrade the capability of deliverables to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSL. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? Think proactive. Think B2C. Think out-of-the-box. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive portals and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to reinvent holistically leads to the power to actualize vertically. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will incentivize the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". What does the standard industry standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for coping with new communities?