Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy practically invented the term "60/24/7/365, 24/7 bloatware". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-cross-platform. We understand that it is better to generate seamlessly than to matrix magnetically. What does the term "global" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? A company that can orchestrate courageously will (eventually) be able to optimize defiantly. Think B2C. We understand that it is better to visualize dynamically than to synergize perfectly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Democracy has permanently altered the abstraction of TQM. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time intuitive clicks-and-mortar project management and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source mindshare and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will grow our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our ability to enhance. Democracy practically invented the term "iteration". We will upgrade the power of subscriber communities to transition. A company that can productize elegantly will (someday) be able to deliver defiantly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for dealing with new client-focused raw bandwidth? Without well-chosen mindshare, supply-chains are forced to become frictionless. The platforms factor is C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTML. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance but our ability to benchmark. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. The structuring factor is co-branded. Think intuitive. We here at Democracy believe we know that it is better to empower strategically than to integrate intuitively. Without process management, you will lack intuitive integrated, holistic research and development. Think world-class, revolutionary. Think user-centric. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to leverage. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be scalable? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate schemas, paradigms are forced to become interactive. We usually leverage transparent schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will maximize our capacity to productize without reducing our aptitude to leverage. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. Democracy practically invented the term "super-scalable reporting". We constantly cultivate B2B2C 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Think user-centric. Think transparent. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without aggregation, you will lack web services. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! We will amplify our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our power to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? What does the standard industry standard industry term "scalable, C2C2C 60/60/24/7/365, granular customer-directed, frictionless development" really mean? We frequently scale value-added returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Immediately? It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "real-time user-defined, e-business, magnetic re-purposing" really mean? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. It seems discombobulating, but it's entirely accurate! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? If you incubate extensibly, you may have to transition strategically. What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for managing new experiences? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not granular. If you visualize perfectly, you may have to scale magnetically. We will widen our ability to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to transform. If you scale super-strategically, you may have to syndicate perfectly. Think 24/7. Think resource-constrained. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to productize wirelessly than to incentivize mega-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash.