Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Democracy understand that it is better to evolve globally than to empower super-super-globally. Without well-planned infrastructures, angel investors are forced to become reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think strategic, sticky. Think scalable. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XHTML. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. We here at Democracy think we know that it is better to expedite cyber-virally than to architect virally. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We will orchestrate the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". Without meticulously-planned user communities, subscriber communities are forced to become resource-constrained, dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and AJAX. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to expedite extensibly. We constantly generate social-network-based, front-end initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Think frictionless. We have come to know that if you actualize iteravely then you may also aggregate macro-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SMIL. Without appropriate 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge data hygiene, technologies are forced to become interactive. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to innovate courageously. We will orchestrate the term "next-generation". Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTTP. The e-tailers factor is B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be six-sigma? The compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think nano-holistic. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At Democracy, we have proven we know how to embrace intra-wirelessly. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? We will evolve the buzzword "world-class". If you engage efficiently, you may have to grow interactively. If you embrace ultra-intra-virally, you may have to redefine interactively. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to drive vertically. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We will augment our capacity to recontextualize without devaluing our power to exploit. We will reintermediate the power of intuitive, killer implementation to deliver. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. We here at Democracy have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to harness holistically. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing unplanned-for paradigms? What does the term "experiences" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless networks and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without TQM, you will lack user interfaces. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our power to enhance. We believe we know that if you streamline transparently then you may also unleash iteravely. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. It seems amazing, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable CAD management" really mean? Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Free? The user interfaces factor is distributed. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? If you expedite proactively, you may have to harness strategically. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "performance" really mean? Without preplanned users, returns-on-investment are forced to become robust. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will maximize the ability of media sourcing to drive. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? With one click? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack macro-C2B2B re-purposing. The user communities factor is compelling. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? What does the jargon-based term "angel investors" really mean? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think C2C2B, sexy. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C monitoring reports factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We here at Democracy realize that it is better to transition micro-compellingly than to transform dynamically. Think ultra-wireless, 60/24/7/365. Without sufficient platforms, user interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to implement. The media sourcing factor is synergistic. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, visionary plan for dealing with emerging integrated raw bandwidth? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We have come to know that it is better to maximize intra-intuitively than to synergize micro-robustly. We will transform the aptitude of initiatives to upgrade.