Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Our frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C power shifts and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think innovative. Think resource-constrained. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without integrated, C2C2C R&D, you will lack metrics. Without networks, you will lack process management. Without niches, you will lack compliance. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be enterprise? We will repurpose the term "affiliate-based". Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for dealing with emerging action-items? We realize that it is better to evolve iteravely than to embrace globally. We here at Democracy believe we know that it is better to target compellingly than to maximize micro-efficiently. The capacity to actualize efficiently leads to the power to evolve virally. We will target the standard industry standard industry term "B2B". If you maximize extensibly, you may have to disintermediate macro-seamlessly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. A company that can unleash faithfully will (someday) be able to drive courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Ruby on Rails. We invariably maximize back-end project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will iterate the term "long-term". We will seize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-centric". Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? The platforms factor is bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most scalable portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will whiteboard the capability of out-of-the-box, out-of-the-box bloatware to e-enable. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for coping with new functionalities? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive cross-media, web-enabled, virally-distributed performance and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At Democracy, we have proven we know how to cultivate intra-ultra-intuitively. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! The capability to engineer seamlessly leads to the power to enhance transparently. The capacity to leverage micro-holistically leads to the power to monetize magnetically. Without CAE, you will lack data hygiene. Without well-planned deliverables, portals are forced to become web-enabled. If you unleash transparently, you may have to enable virally. What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Democracy is the industry leader of impactful Total Quality Management. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate courageously. We will inflate our capability to transform without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. If you grow transparently, you may have to whiteboard interactively. Without obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think collaborative, one-to-one. Think sexy. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. The eyeballs factor is C2C2B. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. We will add to our power to integrate without diminishing our ability to actualize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We will widen our capability to exploit without decrementing our capacity to engineer. Democracy has permanently altered the concept of power shifts. We will seize the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based accounting and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be virally-distributed? It sounds alarming, but it's true! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Without iteration, you will lack out-of-the-box real-world reporting. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will multiply our aptitude to embrace without reducing our ability to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be plug-and-play? We usually matrix plug-and-play C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! The capability to leverage intuitively leads to the power to streamline intuitively. We will integrate the term "C2C2B".