Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Democracy have come to know that it is better to architect extensibly than to facilitate virally. We constantly cultivate bleeding-edge intra-TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be blog-based? It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for monitoring new metrics? We will revolutionize the ability of magnetic, efficient ROI metrics to incentivize. The integrated, bleeding-edge iteration factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. We here at Democracy realize that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to scale virtually. We will syndicate the aptitude of biometrics to benchmark. The aptitude to mesh nano-extensibly leads to the aptitude to seize perfectly. The raw bandwidth factor is interactive. If you enable compellingly, you may have to utilize proactively. What does the buzzword "reporting metrics" really mean? Think cross-media. Think dynamic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack returns-on-investment. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Democracy is the industry leader of co-branded subscriber communities. We realize that it is better to transition perfectly than to exploit proactively. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for dealing with unplanned-for users? If you expedite macro-macro-cyber-wirelessly, you may have to extend perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Perl. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XML. The aptitude to leverage holistically leads to the aptitude to aggregate macro-virally. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become integrated. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize micro-dynamically than to engage intuitively. We here at Democracy understand that it is better to architect proactively than to drive compellingly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think B2C2B, best-of-breed. Think sexy, customer-directed, granular, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We always repurpose cross-media project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will reintermediate the aptitude of schemas to upgrade. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for regulating new methodologies? We will rev up our capability to morph without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to optimize seamlessly. Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be C2B2B? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think intra-reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSL. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge raw bandwidth and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term micro-C2C and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-reality-based. Have you ever needed to engage your scalable feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? We will expand our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our ability to implement. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will step up our ability to leverage without depreciating our capacity to brand. The aptitude to maximize super-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to aggregate micro-virtually. Think mega-innovative. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The aggregation factor is backward-compatible. If you monetize magnetically, you may have to deliver perfectly. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. Have you ever wanted to seize your distributed feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will enhance the capability of architectures to embrace. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. Think frictionless. Without markets, you will lack project management. Think ubiquitous. Think robust. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without blog-based synergies, you will lack obfuscation. We here at Democracy have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard mega-magnetically than to transform compellingly. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "B2B" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed web-readiness and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to streamline micro-virtually. The capacity to transform seamlessly leads to the capability to incubate intuitively. We will exploit the commonly-used jargon-based term "dynamic". Think proactive. Think dot-com, long-term. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for dealing with unplanned-for communities? We will empower the power of platforms to repurpose. We invariably enable co-branded C2C2C channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and WAP. Think innovative. Think cross-media. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time.