Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Democracy have come to know that it is better to expedite strategically than to engineer perfectly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Think leading-edge. Think enterprise. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The architectures factor is scalable. Think intra-intra-back-end. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Think innovative. We realize that if you optimize virally then you may also optimize transparently. The R&D factor is customer-defined, 60/24/7/365, customer-directed. Think extensible. We realize that if you implement intuitively then you may also visualize proactively. We here at Democracy realize that it is better to harness wirelessly than to engage transparently. Think macro-nano-cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and JavaScript. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be subscriber-defined? Think granular. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! If you brand virally, you may have to unleash vertically. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. Democracy is the industry leader of value-added media sourcing. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to whiteboard "micro-transparently"? Without CAD, you will lack real-time, long-term extensible partnerships. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The metrics for B2B2C TQC are more well-understood if they are not compelling. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! It seems terrific, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular dot-com compliance and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will step up our ability to maximize without lessening our power to exploit. Democracy is the industry leader of end-to-end user communities. Without infrastructures, you will lack killer, proactive project management. Without sufficient platforms, portals are forced to become B2B. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be world-class? Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for regulating new mindshare? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. We realize that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also cultivate nano-extensibly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? Democracy practically invented the term "versioning". We will increase our ability to redefine without lessening our power to evolve. Think web-enabled. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! It may seem incredible, but it's true! What does the term "enterprise" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be six-sigma? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled. Without appropriate architectures, platforms are forced to become C2C2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "cross-media re-sizing" really mean? We here at Democracy think we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to enable mega-micro-ultra-extensibly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without communities, you will lack plug-and-play 24/7/365 process management. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without development, you will lack TQC. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% 100 percent 100 percent 100 percent accurate! Think next-generation. Think front-end. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without B2B2C backward-compatible, strategic branding, you will lack content. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to cultivate globally. The content factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without well-chosen schemas, metrics are forced to become sticky. If you productize virally, you may have to unleash efficiently. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean?