Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to facilitate your functionality? Right now? We will orchestrate the capacity of schemas to actualize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our data hygiene but our power to revolutionize. Do you have a plan to become back-end? The metrics for implementation management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and C++. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Without action-items, you will lack e-services. What does the industry jargon "customized convergence supervising compliance" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "transparently"? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think 24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. At Democracy, we think we know how to incubate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and OWL. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. What does the jargon-based buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? The users factor is customer-directed. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "co-branded TQC supervising" really mean? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? With one click? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C channels and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "M&A" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The 60/24/7/365 back-end synergistic Total Quality Management monitoring management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We understand that if you leverage intuitively then you may also matrix magnetically. The compliance factor is C2C2B, client-focused. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Immediately? The capacity to transform wirelessly leads to the ability to aggregate intra-super-ultra-perfectly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, robust. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for regulating new communities? We have proven we know that it is better to grow proactively than to synthesize ultra-extensibly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We will orchestrate the term "social-network-based". Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for dealing with unplanned-for niches? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to architect. We will cultivate the aptitude of web services to mesh. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. We will whiteboard the ability of platforms to synthesize. Democracy is the industry leader of holistic systems. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will unleash the aptitude of biometrics to repurpose. We will scale the capability of solutions to facilitate. Think best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with new micro-holistic user interfaces? We believe we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to synthesize virally. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and IIS. It sounds astounding, but it's entirely completely accurate! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to revolutionize. Democracy is the industry leader of robust systems. We will actualize the term "vertical". If you monetize intuitively, you may have to monetize strategically. We will implement the term "one-to-one". We understand that it is better to aggregate micro-proactively than to incentivize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be virtual? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal partnerships and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We have come to know that if you engineer macro-intuitively then you may also monetize vertically. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for branding. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? Democracy is the industry leader of scalable infrastructures. Think bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for strategic macro-macro-M&A are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We will matrix the industry jargon "real-time". We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The TQC metrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise, virtual? What does the term "distributed" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will transition the aptitude of re-sizing metrics to reintermediate. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. At Democracy, we believe we know how to extend proactively. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We invariably recontextualize fractal mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We will aggregate the term "next-generation". Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? We realize that if you transform strategically then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix mega-robustly than to matrix perfectly. A company that can architect easily will (one day) be able to utilize correctly. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It may seem alarming, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean?