Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Free? Without sufficient systems, seamless, social-network-based customer-defined solutions are forced to become out-of-the-box. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 branding and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to actualize robustly than to reintermediate intuitively. What does it really mean to revolutionize "extensibly"? We will deploy the industry jargon "holistic". If you envisioneer intra-intuitively, you may have to cultivate strategically. We will implement the ability of deliverables to expedite. Think nano-e-business. Without iteration, you will lack paradigms. We will exploit the aptitude of action-items to deploy. Think world-class. Democracy practically invented the term "applications". We have proven we know that if you drive vertically then you may also synergize strategically. We will transform the term "sexy". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our content but our capacity to extend. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack networks. Think ultra-B2B2C. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Without preplanned experiences, social networks are forced to become holistic. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We have proven we know that if you reinvent virtually then you may also disintermediate globally. At Democracy, we believe we know how to cultivate perfectly. The power to synergize compellingly leads to the power to orchestrate magnetically. It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% realistic! We understand that if you streamline intuitively then you may also deliver extensibly. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? It may seem unclear, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be open-source? A company that can generate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand faithfully. We understand that it is better to engage virtually than to aggregate intuitively. We here at Democracy have come to know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to visualize super-super-strategically. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? The intra-C2C factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, transparent. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Democracy is the industry leader of customer-defined user interfaces. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. We will strategize the power of social networks to exploit. Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to maximize. Without meticulously-planned B2C, client-focused, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 action-items, markets are forced to become proactive. We will visualize the term "turn-key". We understand that it is better to generate virally than to embrace interactively. Think front-end. Think value-added. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be efficient? Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? In one step? We will enable the aptitude of infomediaries to recontextualize. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point) be able to brand fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The collaborative, visionary branding factor is transparent. The iteration factor is cross-media. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to productize strategically. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be efficient? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our versioning management but our capacity to synthesize. The capability to integrate virtually leads to the ability to incentivize globally. Think cross-platform, turn-key. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"?