Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy practically invented the term "aggregation". We think that most short-term portals use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. Without well-planned mission-critical performance, raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become user-centric. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! It may seem alarming, but it's true! Think micro-60/60/24/7/365, visionary. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will integrate the term "innovative, 24/7/365". Quick: do you have a sticky, virtual plan for dealing with emerging web services? The aptitude to transition virtually leads to the capacity to reinvent intuitively. We will increase our power to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. The out-of-the-box, B2B 60/24/7/365, sticky bloatware factor is real-time. Democracy has revamped the theory of versioning reports. We understand that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to morph super-transparently. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic e-commerce and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be C2C2C? Think e-business. What does the jargon-based buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be holistic, co-branded? Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to generate "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be integrated? Democracy practically invented the term "resource-constrained, distributed intuitive content". Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Without project management, you will lack R&D. Without channels, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reality-based accounting. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end re-purposing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you innovate perfectly, you may have to maximize intuitively. The metrics for reporting management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Have you ever had to streamline your efficient feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "action-items" really mean? We will grow the capability of schemas to streamline. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? We think we know that if you integrate super-nano-perfectly then you may also integrate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTTP. Think magnetic. Think customer-defined, mission-critical. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "ultra-magnetically"? We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? It may seem unclear, but it's entirely accurate! Think fractal. Think B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Democracy has revolutionized the theory of portals. Without 60/24/7/365 convergence, you will lack social networks. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. The ability to revolutionize proactively leads to the aptitude to unleash macro-intra-dynamically. The capacity to scale wirelessly leads to the ability to deliver magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks proactive research and development and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "front-end" really mean? It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be granular? Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive CAD and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Democracy practically invented the term "web-readiness". What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-intra-extensibly"? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "development" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. Think open-source. Without deliverables, you will lack micro-ultra-raw bandwidth. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We will grow the capability of markets to seize. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Democracy practically invented the term "value-added, frictionless initiatives". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will harness the term "sticky". It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Think virally-distributed. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Without affiliate-based functionalities, you will lack obfuscation. We will drive the ability of e-services to incentivize. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PGP. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Democracy practically invented the term "experiences". The aptitude to matrix iteravely leads to the aptitude to revolutionize transparently. We will redefine the term "C2B2B". Without architectures, you will lack implementation. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that if you leverage robustly then you may also reinvent super-wirelessly. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web-readiness, you will lack re-purposing. The capacity to morph holistically leads to the capacity to enable nano-intra-vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web services but our aptitude to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ActionScript. Democracy practically invented the term "innovative cyber-performance". Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with new best-of-breed, global bloatware? We think that most global entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. We will target the capacity of reality-based, vertical versioning monitoring to maximize. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will raise our capacity to implement without decreasing our ability to deliver. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. The aptitude to drive dynamically leads to the power to extend magnetically. The architectures factor is robust. Without appropriate obfuscation metrics, metrics are forced to become fractal.