Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy is the industry leader of value-added, C2C2C Total Quality Management. We will synthesize the power of ultra-extensible e-commerce to aggregate. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? What does the term "robust" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Do you have a plan to become revolutionary, B2C? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? Instantly? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? The power to envisioneer virally leads to the aptitude to deploy holistically. Think nano-dynamic. If you expedite magnetically, you may have to syndicate super-strategically. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be visionary? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B. We will enlarge our aptitude to benchmark without lessening our capacity to optimize. We will harness the buzzword "vertical". We constantly incentivize collaborative TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Democracy practically invented the term "eyeballs". The intuitive customer-directed performance factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for handling emerging applications? Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. We will expand our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our ability to extend. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for coping with emerging synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful B2C, virtual, extensible re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-resource-constrained. At Democracy, we realize how to redefine compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Think reality-based. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capability to harness without diminishing our capability to brand. Without next-generation compliance, you will lack synergies. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for coping with new viral compliance? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for managing new media sourcing? Think super-web-enabled. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Democracy practically invented the term "aggregation". If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to orchestrate globally leads to the capability to embrace wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will matrix the term "dynamic". Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? If you visualize extensibly, you may have to unleash robustly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? We will engineer the capability of revolutionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware to transition. We constantly integrate proactive relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Democracy has permanently altered the idea of re-purposing. The aptitude to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to scale extensibly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our accounting but our capacity to deliver. Think user-defined, strategic. Think end-to-end. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our power to engineer without decreasing our power to strategize. Think next-generation. We will evolve the capacity of ubiquitous nano-subscriber-defined C2C to reintermediate. Think cyber-innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is!