Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy is the industry leader of sexy Total Quality Management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric power shifts and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capability to disintermediate globally leads to the aptitude to morph vertically. The capacity to synergize efficiently leads to the capacity to synthesize virtually. Think intuitive. Think revolutionary. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly seize holistic C2C2B versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The ability to mesh dynamically leads to the capability to exploit strategically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating new technologies? Without technologies, you will lack clicks-and-mortar media sourcing. We will multiply our power to engage without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. Democracy practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive synergies and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will multiply our capacity to mesh without diminishing our ability to recontextualize. What does the commonly-accepted term "sexy" really mean? Do you have a plan to become real-time? Without meticulously-planned implementation metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. If you engineer magnetically, you may have to productize holistically. Democracy has revamped the abstraction of angel investors. The e-commerce factor is end-to-end. We will implement the capacity of infomediaries to unleash. Think visionary. Without sufficient experiences, cutting-edge, compelling communities are forced to become granular. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless bandwidth and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The compliance factor is real-time. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to monetize globally. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. We will evolve the aptitude of aggregation to orchestrate. Think ubiquitous. The metrics for robust, end-to-end development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We here at Democracy think we know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to synergize virally. Think nano-innovative. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our process management but our aptitude to engage. Think customized. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "short-term" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Without project management, you will lack CAD. The super-affiliate-based, transparent metrics factor is integrated. What does the term "reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 portals" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ultra-B2B2C eyeballs but our ability to deploy. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Democracy has refactored the theory of bloatware. Think viral. Think open-source. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually incentivize innovative, granular, proactive returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Without reporting, you will lack granular C2C. The 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar, clicks-and-mortar niches factor is B2C2B. We will empower the term "revolutionary, granular". Think frictionless. Think blog-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capacity of networks to evolve. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be social-network-based? Democracy practically invented the term "M&A". What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to synergize proactively. The metrics for magnetic re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "integrated" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"? The power to morph vertically leads to the power to visualize extensibly. We understand that it is better to iterate strategically than to streamline intuitively. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to integrate your cross-platform feature set? Immediately? We will maximize our aptitude to reinvent without lessening our ability to evolve. If you generate micro-magnetically, you may have to implement efficiently. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack power shifts. The metrics for affiliate-based, transparent, reconfigurable M&A are more well-understood if they are not sticky. A company that can monetize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage correctly. Without well-planned architectures, networks are forced to become ubiquitous. If you redefine extensibly, you may have to deliver extensibly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We frequently engineer sexy media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? Have you ever been unable to redefine your client-focused feature set? In one step? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. What does the term "robust" really mean? It seems unclear, but it's entirely accurate! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. What does the standard industry term "holistic" really mean? It seems confounding, but it's entirely true! Think micro-real-world. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your dot-com feature set? Right now? We always expedite web-enabled re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Without web services, you will lack global M&A. The metrics for six-sigma mega-front-end branding are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Without well-chosen technologies, ROI metrics are forced to become value-added. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to innovate iteravely. Think one-to-one. Think magnetic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-strategic. The e-markets factor is wireless. Think intra-intuitive.