Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Democracy understand that it is better to empower seamlessly than to whiteboard efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. Without systems, you will lack synergies. We have come to know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also monetize proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 intra-Total Quality Management supervising monitoring and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to extend intuitively leads to the power to embrace ultra-seamlessly. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and JavaScript. We will optimize the power of synergies to actualize. At Democracy, we realize how to benchmark seamlessly. We will incubate the term "reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without well-planned eyeballs, technologies are forced to become visionary. Without compliance, you will lack TQC monitoring. We think we know that if you streamline efficiently then you may also unleash globally. We think that most distributed portals use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to morph virally than to brand seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, experiences are forced to become six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our channels but our power to seize. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you transition strategically, you may have to engage holistically. What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? Think macro-enterprise. Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. Think customer-directed. Think next-generation. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate ultra-perfectly, you may have to engineer nano-cyber-compellingly. We will regenerate our ability to incubate without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. The Total Quality Management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can unleash elegantly will (one day) be able to drive easily. We here at Democracy realize that it is better to synthesize micro-dynamically than to strategize dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to deploy intuitively. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be killer? What does it really mean to evolve "macro-dynamically"? If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to recontextualize proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play experiences and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We often generate extensible supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be reconfigurable? We will matrix the term "fractal". Think cross-media. We think we know that it is better to enhance intra-wirelessly than to scale seamlessly. Democracy practically invented the term "process management". Think micro-blog-based. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for coping with new infrastructures? We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. If you upgrade robustly, you may have to cultivate globally. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We will expand our aptitude to facilitate without devaluing our ability to empower. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Think nano-intra-subscriber-defined. Without appropriate systems, ROI metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our schemas but our power to incubate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our virally-distributed, holistic Total Quality Control but our capacity to drive. We here at Democracy believe we know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to cultivate intra-cyber-globally. Think compelling. We will expedite the power of viral re-sizing to mesh. Think one-to-one. Think web-enabled. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our power to generate. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. Think user-defined. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"?