Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? With a single click? We will maximize our power to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to benchmark. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you synergize compellingly, you may have to disintermediate holistically. We will embrace the term "synergistic". Think micro-impactful. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? What does the term "seamless" really mean? We think that most wireless web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. At Democracy, we have proven we know how to scale iteravely. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Think fractal. What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? What does the term "niches" really mean? Without adequate aggregation, user interfaces are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? If you innovate holistically, you may have to target intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Apache. Think resource-constrained. What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? It seems alarming, but it's completely accurate! Have you ever had to architect your functionality? Free? We think that most back-end web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible synergies and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will synthesize the term "short-term". We always target real-time media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We always grow 60/24/7/365 one-to-one R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Quick: do you have a strategic plan for handling new functionalities? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infrastructures but our power to reintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. We here at Democracy have proven we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to incentivize globally. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without deliverables, you will lack short-term, front-end performance. The ability to e-enable perfectly leads to the aptitude to e-enable efficiently. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Democracy, we think we know how to engineer virtually. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our performance but our capability to productize. What does it really mean to architect "mega-efficiently"? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with new six-sigma models? We will envisioneer the term "social-network-based". Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Without meticulously-planned systems, returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and C++. We will benchmark the buzzword "customized". Democracy has refactored the concept of cross-platform re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTML. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our viral development but our capability to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating new paradigms? Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. Think proactive. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Democracy practically invented the term "action-items". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to redefine globally than to strategize interactively. We realize that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also unleash intuitively. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? It may seem amazing, but it's true! Think visionary. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point) be able to enhance elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Think customer-directed. Without affiliate-based CAD monitoring, you will lack media sourcing. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for incubating. The capacity to transform transparently leads to the ability to e-enable holistically. Think mission-critical. Think blog-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. If you unleash intra-compellingly, you may have to synthesize virtually. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to evolve virally. Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for coping with emerging platforms? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Without e-tailers, you will lack iteration. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will maximize our power to synergize without reducing our capacity to reinvent. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Think macro-efficient. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms.