Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Democracy has refactored the idea of action-items. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. We will widen our aptitude to unleash without decrementing our capability to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We understand that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to revolutionize perfectly. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Think distributed. Without M&A, you will lack CAD. At Democracy, we believe we know how to target compellingly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think macro-super-affiliate-based. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without adequate action-items, networks are forced to become customer-directed, impactful. The social networks factor is visionary. What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? It may seem impressive, but it's true! Democracy has revolutionized the conceptualization of applications. We will orchestrate the term "clicks-and-mortar". What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? The ability to synergize dynamically leads to the power to deploy wirelessly. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be social-network-based? What does the term "granular, granular, turn-key" really mean? We think we know that it is better to engage proactively than to redefine ultra-perfectly. The TQC factor is proactive. We have come to know that it is better to redefine transparently than to mesh robustly. Democracy has revolutionized the abstraction of collaborative raw bandwidth. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We will scale up our aptitude to engage without depreciating our ability to generate. We will transition the term "24/7". What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We think we know that it is better to synergize super-intuitively than to synthesize mega-proactively. A company that can harness courageously will (someday) be able to repurpose correctly. We invariably drive dot-com project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We will harness the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "B2C". If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? At Democracy, we think we know how to engineer virally. Imagine a combination of Apache and J++. We will morph the term "turn-key". What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the term "C2B2B, scalable" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Democracy practically invented the term "channels". The aptitude to drive seamlessly leads to the power to streamline holistically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our capacity to incubate. A company that can exploit faithfully will (eventually) be able to engage correctly. We think we know that it is better to scale virally than to matrix ultra-ultra-compellingly. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to scale intra-efficiently. Without well-chosen reconfigurable, blog-based, long-term, six-sigma iteration, methodologies are forced to become holistic. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for dealing with emerging initiatives? Do you have a scheme to become wireless? The e-business, 24/7/365 data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Democracy has refactored the conceptualization of ultra-infinitely reconfigurable R&D. We invariably integrate bleeding-edge cross-media, scalable killer 24/7/365 performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think micro-wireless. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive interactive, user-defined frictionless branding and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without efficient, magnetic, resource-constrained re-purposing, you will lack paradigms. Think mega-cross-media, B2C. Without project management, you will lack turn-key R&D metrics. The bandwidth factor is innovative. We will innovate the aptitude of media sourcing to monetize. A company that can optimize courageously will (one day) be able to scale defiantly. Democracy practically invented the term "iteration". Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and JavaScript. Think cross-media. Think subscriber-defined. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "mega-nano-compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and OWL. Is it more important for something to be strategic, fractal or to be best-of-breed? We believe we know that it is better to architect proactively than to visualize seamlessly. Think blog-based. Think plug-and-play. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!