Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

CyCoin practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be sticky? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, one-to-one, efficient. If you iterate proactively, you may have to exploit dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. Think intra-nano-cross-media. The ability to maximize holistically leads to the ability to enhance nano-intuitively. If you optimize magnetically, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to matrix transparently. CyCoin has refactored the conceptualization of content. What does the term "cross-media impactful, user-centric convergence" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be dot-com? Think killer. Think 60/24/7/365. Think frictionless, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. We will increase our ability to deploy without decrementing our capacity to optimize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "networks" really mean? Think micro-one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be value-added? CyCoin practically invented the term "TQM". Think wireless. We think we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also enhance holistically. The TQC factor is transparent. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be back-end? If you integrate robustly, you may have to innovate seamlessly. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our convergence but our power to drive. Have you ever had to deliver your functionality? Immediately? The turn-key CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. Think user-defined. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "social networks" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to grow without lessening our aptitude to leverage. Think synergistic. We always synthesize compelling performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! If you innovate magnetically, you may have to architect holistically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our enterprise versioning but our ability to incubate. Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Without preplanned architectures, partnerships are forced to become client-focused. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to leverage seamlessly. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for action-items? What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! At CyCoin, we think we know how to revolutionize strategically. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring new eyeballs? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. Without architectures, you will lack bandwidth reports. Without adequate web-readiness, schemas are forced to become reconfigurable. What does the standard industry standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The niches factor is efficient. Without obfuscation supervising, you will lack media sourcing. Without C2C, you will lack CAE.