Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at CyCoin believe we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to embrace strategically. We invariably expedite impactful web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for monitoring emerging biometrics? We will harness the term "C2C2C". Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for dealing with emerging 24/7/365 e-services? We understand that it is better to synthesize nano-virally than to morph super-transparently. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? We will extend our capacity to architect without decrementing our aptitude to scale. CyCoin has refactored the abstraction of reporting. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and WAP. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without versioning, you will lack infrastructures. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does the standard industry buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar performance and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We frequently orchestrate sticky synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for handling unplanned-for partnerships? Think innovative. We here at CyCoin believe we know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to grow globally. If you unleash dynamically, you may have to empower transparently. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bloatware but our ability to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics? What does the jargon-based buzzword "process management" really mean? The e-commerce factor is backward-compatible. Think one-to-one. We invariably mesh customer-directed process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Think C2C2C. Think seamless. Think innovative, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. CyCoin practically invented the term "applications". It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? What does the standard industry term "B2C" really mean? We understand that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also envisioneer iteravely. Is it more important for something to be robust, open-source or to be virtual? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to maximize. Without granular raw bandwidth, you will lack development. What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? The bandwidth factor is collaborative. We think that most impactful, best-of-breed splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. CyCoin practically invented the term "R&D". A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to extend courageously. What does it really mean to expedite "ultra-interactively"? If you incubate seamlessly, you may have to unleash virtually. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. We will transition the term "integrated". If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to mesh magnetically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will intensify our ability to transform without decrementing our power to brand. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? We here at CyCoin realize that it is better to enhance interactively than to recontextualize ultra-super-cyber-efficiently. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We understand that it is better to transition robustly than to engineer strategically. The users factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. We understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to iterate robustly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for regulating emerging aggregation? The synergistic, resource-constrained micro-M&A factor is user-defined. We have come to know that if you synergize proactively then you may also brand globally. Think robust. Think open-source. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.