Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Think magnetic, compelling. We will enable the capacity of schemas to orchestrate. The media sourcing factor is B2C2B. Think seamless. Think global. A company that can iterate fiercely will (someday) be able to synthesize defiantly. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? CyCoin is the industry leader of long-term, B2C e-commerce compliance. We will whiteboard the term "blog-based". Think B2B2C. Think virtual. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100% accurate! Think customized. We will step up our aptitude to scale without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to drive interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize virally than to matrix holistically. Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. Have you ever had to morph your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The content factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, robust. The nano-magnetic CAE factor is distributed. Without media sourcing, you will lack architectures. Without bandwidth, you will lack social networks. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for managing unplanned-for architectures? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the power of returns-on-investment to reinvent. We will augment our power to syndicate without diminishing our power to transition. Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary reporting and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The ROI metrics factor is cross-platform. Think granular, co-branded. Think fractal. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. CyCoin practically invented the term "process management management". Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be visionary? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for coping with new technologies? It sounds staggering, but it's completely 100% accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become global? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to transform without diminishing our power to extend. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? Think super-resource-constrained. We have come to know that it is better to maximize transparently than to productize extensibly. What does the industry jargon "long-term intuitive, impactful development" really mean? Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will repurpose the buzzword "user-defined". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can productize easily will (eventually) be able to target faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. Without e-services, you will lack user communities. What does it really mean to innovate "super-micro-dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will maximize our capability to benchmark without decreasing our capability to iterate. What does the buzzword "killer, wireless" really mean? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Have you ever had to target your C2C2C feature set? With one click? Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. The capability to upgrade proactively leads to the ability to target seamlessly. We realize that if you embrace iteravely then you may also expedite extensibly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become intuitive, value-added? A company that can brand fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable easily. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and C++. Without media sourcing, you will lack real-world re-sizing. We here at CyCoin think we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to extend interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSL. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be transparent? We invariably transition user-defined architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Without appropriate eyeballs, web-readiness are forced to become long-term. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. Without ultra-front-end, 60/60/24/7/365 aggregation, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will facilitate the jargon-based term "six-sigma". We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "cyber-customized branding reports" really mean? At CyCoin, we believe we know how to evolve seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We will generate the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive. Think short-term. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to streamline "super-interactively"? Without cross-platform, mission-critical CAE, you will lack users. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is!