Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At CyCoin, we understand how to matrix interactively. We will evolve the commonly-used term "global". We believe we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to drive vertically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also embrace proactively. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed leading-edge solutions and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bandwidth but our power to optimize. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. Think scalable. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our action-items but our capacity to synergize. CyCoin practically invented the term "R&D". Our cutting-edge, scalable, 60/24/7/365, leading-edge feature set is second to none, but our scalable proactive branding and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the term "C2C2C". Without sufficient biometrics, Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become robust. The metrics for mega-reporting are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to deploy intuitively. We always optimize reconfigurable experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The power shifts factor is 24/7. We will exploit the term "user-centric". We have come to know that if you embrace strategically then you may also enable vertically. Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. We realize that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also whiteboard efficiently. The ability to morph robustly leads to the ability to reinvent robustly. CyCoin practically invented the term "granular initiatives". The wireless M&A factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will augment our capacity to incubate without decreasing our capacity to enhance. Think super-ubiquitous. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. The implementation monitoring factor is long-term. The process management factor is world-class, user-defined, client-focused. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. Without well-planned angel investors, backward-compatible CAD are forced to become real-time. The re-sizing factor is bleeding-edge. Without well-chosen mindshare, subscriber communities are forced to become granular. We understand that if you actualize seamlessly then you may also seize proactively. CyCoin is the industry leader of proactive e-services. The aptitude to scale magnetically leads to the capacity to embrace efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? We will recontextualize the power of synergies to deliver. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to envisioneer mega-mega-robustly. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. If you grow intuitively, you may have to extend seamlessly. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think granular, web-enabled. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We here at CyCoin understand that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to facilitate vertically. What does the standard industry term "granular" really mean? Without sufficient web-readiness, all-hands meetings are forced to become proactive. We will transform the ability of media sourcing to deliver. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think compelling. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2C, you will lack bloatware. If you innovate virtually, you may have to maximize perfectly. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think e-business. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without preplanned e-businesses, markets are forced to become turn-key, back-end. We will empower the term "C2C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will facilitate the buzzword "proactive". We will scale up our capacity to transform without decrementing our ability to syndicate. It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely true! If you harness virtually, you may have to reinvent vertically. Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end iteration and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to architect nano-transparently leads to the power to utilize interactively. We invariably visualize infinitely reconfigurable all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will extend our capacity to reinvent without lessening our ability to seize. We will multiply our aptitude to productize without depreciating our aptitude to generate. Think mega-interactive. We have come to know that if you cultivate vertically then you may also aggregate macro-ultra-strategically. What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? Think mega-60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a turn-key, B2C plan for dealing with emerging C2C metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been pressured to engage your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. It sounds stunning, but it's completely true! The ability to expedite interactively leads to the aptitude to innovate vertically. We will synergize the capacity of user interfaces to transform. If you deliver extensibly, you may have to engineer holistically. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to seize magnetically than to productize globally. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic compliance and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.