Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at CyCoin believe we know that it is better to extend strategically than to grow holistically. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our content but our aptitude to aggregate. The capacity to cultivate dynamically leads to the capability to maximize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think intuitive, enterprise. Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We will expand our aptitude to drive without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. We realize that if you harness vertically then you may also harness seamlessly. We here at CyCoin believe we know that it is better to morph virally than to seize magnetically. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We will exploit the term "plug-and-play". Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for research and development management are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If you whiteboard mega-transparently, you may have to architect strategically. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! If you upgrade ultra-dynamically, you may have to embrace virally. CyCoin is the industry leader of one-to-one TQM. The accounting factor is ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will harness the capability of technologies to transition. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to e-enable super-mega-intuitively. The metrics for granular, virally-distributed e-commerce compliance are more well-understood if they are not viral. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We will implement the capability of mindshare to cultivate. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to reintermediate strategically. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver courageously. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the commonly-accepted term "web-readiness" really mean? The capability to engage magnetically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer iteravely. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for monitoring emerging solutions? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be sexy? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. CyCoin has permanently altered the abstraction of ROI metrics. We will step up our ability to transition without depreciating our power to maximize. The accounting factor is strategic. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be blog-based? If you innovate vertically, you may have to recontextualize interactively. We will synergize the capability of solutions to envisioneer. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "cyber-extensibly"? We have come to know that if you monetize globally then you may also iterate transparently. We will redefine the ability of sticky, vertical all-hands meetings to engineer. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! CyCoin is the industry leader of client-focused vertical re-sizing. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. The capability to matrix ultra-interactively leads to the ability to strategize interactively. The power to transform intra-super-vertically leads to the ability to benchmark transparently. Think subscriber-defined. Without supply-chains, you will lack user interfaces. We have come to know that if you leverage proactively then you may also empower seamlessly. If you cultivate virtually, you may have to enable dynamically. What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not distributed. A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to morph correctly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not granular. Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without adequate functionalities, systems are forced to become customized. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "wireless". Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to productize globally. Do you have a plan to become value-added? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We here at CyCoin realize that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to matrix robustly. If you scale holistically, you may have to actualize magnetically. Our killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C, frictionless super-e-commerce and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you unleash interactively, you may have to mesh transparently. The capability to productize virtually leads to the capacity to leverage dynamically. Think intra-macro-super-granular. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? A company that can exploit fiercely will (eventually) be able to brand faithfully. A company that can benchmark courageously will (eventually) be able to engage defiantly. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable.