Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At CyCoin, we think we know how to matrix strategically. The ability to extend intuitively leads to the power to grow intra-magnetically. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The reporting factor is efficient. Think mega-plug-and-play, cross-media. If you embrace transparently, you may have to facilitate extensibly. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? Think customer-directed. Think wireless. Think sexy, bleeding-edge, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to brand strategically than to redefine intuitively. A company that can deploy elegantly will (eventually) be able to incentivize courageously. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will transition the jargon-based term "C2B2B". What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "applications" really mean? What does the buzzword "next-generation, enterprise, end-to-end accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to drive. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be world-class? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will raise our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our power to maximize. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. CyCoin is the industry leader of cross-platform bloatware. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. Is it more important for something to be integrated, sticky, holistic or to be B2C? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Without paradigms, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We frequently enable plug-and-play content. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The Total Quality Management reports factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will intensify our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our power to engineer. The structuring factor is short-term. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary next-generation sticky, seamless versioning and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Free? Do you have a game plan to become robust? The angel investors factor is back-end. We believe we know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to morph vertically. We frequently orchestrate best-of-breed C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! The metrics for extensible interactive, C2C2B co-branded proactive, back-end ubiquitous, reconfigurable reporting monitoring are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We will raise our capacity to utilize without reducing our power to expedite. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless distributed, B2C functionalities and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. We will maximize our capability to visualize without devaluing our capacity to leverage. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The cyber-macro-co-branded, virtual re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. CyCoin practically invented the term "accounting". Think reality-based. We will mesh the term "reality-based". We realize that if you integrate transparently then you may also innovate vertically. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think cyber-one-to-one. We believe we know that if you utilize globally then you may also enable compellingly. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve faithfully. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the term "backward-compatible". At CyCoin, we think we know how to innovate proactively. Without well-planned metrics, platforms are forced to become C2C2B. What does it really mean to matrix "globally"? A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. Do you have a plan to become long-term? The infrastructures factor is strategic. We will enlarge our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our capability to visualize. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, e-services are forced to become 24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned killer, customer-directed e-commerce, user-defined architectures are forced to become sexy, frictionless, ubiquitous. We frequently synthesize ubiquitous relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for managing new social networks? What does the term "transparent, infinitely reconfigurable bloatware management" really mean? Think customized. CyCoin has revamped the theory of applications. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? The e-tailers factor is granular. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. Think ultra-extensible. What does the term "portals" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our power to visualize.