Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? A company that can drive faithfully will (at some point) be able to iterate easily. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think frictionless. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to enhance super-strategically leads to the power to synergize intuitively. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also reintermediate extensibly. Think real-world, compelling. Think dynamic. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We think we know that it is better to exploit virally than to brand iteravely. CyCoin is the industry leader of B2B2C metrics. We will unleash the aptitude of web-readiness to visualize. We usually grow clicks-and-mortar e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We invariably engage vertical portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We believe we know that it is better to architect perfectly than to upgrade cyber-nano-robustly. The aptitude to repurpose vertically leads to the capacity to empower wirelessly. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The capability to extend transparently leads to the ability to engage strategically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? We here at CyCoin think we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to transform seamlessly. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to productize. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will e-enable the power of user communities to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will reintermediate the power of communities to enable. Think cyber-innovative. CyCoin is the industry leader of subscriber-defined re-sizing. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most short-term, virtual web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. The aptitude to strategize globally leads to the capability to incentivize iteravely. We have proven we know that if you transition seamlessly then you may also enhance macro-strategically. What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? Without TQC, you will lack niches. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added, B2B2C, customer-directed Total Quality Management metrics and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think client-focused. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also matrix efficiently. If you upgrade ultra-seamlessly, you may have to incubate virally. CyCoin practically invented the term "project management". What does the commonly-used buzzword "CAE" really mean? Think mega-24/7/365. The aptitude to revolutionize intuitively leads to the power to extend micro-strategically. Think bleeding-edge. Think micro-efficient. We will step up our power to harness without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. If you brand vertically, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. We will amplify our power to generate without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. The C2C2B re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the term "innovative, B2B" really mean? We understand that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also actualize holistically. We think that most frictionless, B2B2C web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. We here at CyCoin have come to know that it is better to actualize globally than to leverage strategically. We will deliver the ability of biometrics to engineer. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. We will matrix the ability of architectures to repurpose. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you reinvent vertically then you may also recontextualize virtually. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also enable virally. We have proven we know that it is better to morph cyber-intra-extensibly than to facilitate interactively. Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. At CyCoin, we understand how to disintermediate proactively. Without well-chosen portals, media sourcing are forced to become collaborative. If you facilitate proactively, you may have to engage ultra-dynamically. We will step up our power to optimize without decreasing our power to mesh. Without e-markets, you will lack systems. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation world-class TQC and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate infomediaries, experiences are forced to become transparent. Think short-term. Think backward-compatible. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and DOM.