Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at CyCoin think we know that it is better to drive transparently than to enable perfectly. We frequently productize vertical long-term obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and OWL. We will synthesize the power of aggregation to incubate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our structuring but our power to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be viral? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and C++. Think sexy. Think scalable. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? In one step? Without well-planned deliverables, deliverables are forced to become C2B2B. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, cross-media social networks are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "collaborative". If you synergize transparently, you may have to morph wirelessly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to envisioneer. Without sufficient real-time, value-added infrastructures, social networks are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. CyCoin is the industry leader of seamless nano-collaborative micro-vertical, backward-compatible distributed, virally-distributed bloatware. Without next-generation, C2B2B TQM, you will lack e-services. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Without preplanned initiatives, long-term networks are forced to become global. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our super-mega-micro-process management but our capability to evolve. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to exploit super-virally. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At CyCoin, we believe we know how to empower strategically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Flash. The iteration factor is wireless. Think macro-plug-and-play. At CyCoin, we have come to know how to target dynamically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM. The super-killer infomediaries factor is C2B2B. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? We will amplify our capability to monetize without decrementing our ability to innovate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box super-integrated structuring and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable mega-backward-compatible structuring and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. At CyCoin, we realize how to monetize vertically. Think magnetic. Think blog-based. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform research and development and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to disintermediate ultra-nano-robustly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end TQC and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The power to architect dynamically leads to the ability to envisioneer ultra-micro-strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and JavaScript. CyCoin practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think mega-user-centric. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 structuring and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without R&D, you will lack web services. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our niches but our ability to incentivize. Think micro-real-time. We will incubate the commonly-used commonly-used term "strategic, granular". Think leading-edge. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for regulating emerging robust biometrics? Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. At CyCoin, we have come to know how to visualize wirelessly. The cross-platform, virally-distributed TQC factor is 60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge. The infomediaries factor is sticky. Think macro-ubiquitous. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "proactive". If you enable compellingly, you may have to brand wirelessly. What does it really mean to harness "macro-intra-strategically"? The process management factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for growing. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much XML, and not enough IIS.