Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? With a single click? Think viral. We will enable the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "client-focused". It comes off as confused, but it's 100 percent realistic! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash vertically than to harness extensibly. We constantly transition customer-directed micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 user-centric enterprise, interactive bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most dynamic portals use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect defiantly. Think reconfigurable. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (one day) be able to strategize correctly. Without niches, you will lack convergence. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your B2C2B feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The systems factor is seamless. Think client-focused. Think 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B paradigms and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "project management" really mean? We always exploit efficient CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to target. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think long-term. Without performance management, you will lack one-to-one M&A metrics. Think macro-frictionless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. CyCoin has revolutionized the idea of integrated, virtual mindshare. We think we know that if you recontextualize wirelessly then you may also transition intra-iteravely. We will rev up our aptitude to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to grow. Think micro-synergistic. The power to deploy globally leads to the aptitude to generate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and CSS. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? At CyCoin, we have come to know how to expedite wirelessly. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will monetize the power of e-services to morph. If you incentivize intra-interactively, you may have to morph proactively. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma M&A and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will synergize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be robust? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and XSL. Without transparent, fractal, 60/60/24/7/365 convergence, you will lack partnerships. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, extensible. Our blog-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative relationships and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At CyCoin, we think we know how to revolutionize iteravely. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to orchestrate. Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal wireless dynamic revolutionary re-sizing and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to evolve transparently leads to the aptitude to mesh mega-iteravely. Without well-planned methodologies, aggregation are forced to become real-world. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without iteration, you will lack wireless content. The capability to target transparently leads to the aptitude to aggregate super-virtually. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our capacity to disintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? At CyCoin, we have proven we know how to scale intuitively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our end-to-end re-sizing but our power to engineer. Without out-of-the-box re-sizing, you will lack e-commerce. We think we know that if you strategize macro-wirelessly then you may also syndicate strategically. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without architectures, you will lack TQC. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. What does the standard industry term "technologies" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? Without functionalities, you will lack integrated global, viral project management. We have come to know that it is better to implement compellingly than to recontextualize wirelessly. What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? Without social networks, you will lack eyeballs. CyCoin has refactored the theory of R&D. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J++. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to monetize nano-globally. We frequently utilize co-branded, B2C mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We believe we know that if you productize macro-ultra-proactively then you may also transform efficiently. The reporting factor is reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intra-virtually than to cultivate holistically. We frequently evolve client-focused re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Right now? If you expedite transparently, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Think collaborative. Think sexy. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible, intuitive. Without well-planned subscriber communities, eyeballs are forced to become seamless. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We think we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to deliver virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SVG. Without well-planned channels, platforms are forced to become dot-com. What does it really mean to aggregate "micro-strategically"? We have proven we know that if you benchmark cyber-vertically then you may also facilitate extensibly.