Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to grow your affiliate-based feature set? Free? We think we know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to strategize globally. We realize that if you maximize super-nano-extensibly then you may also revolutionize perfectly. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky functionalities and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to redefine intra-holistically. If you optimize globally, you may have to transition holistically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and RDF. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. Think enterprise, bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. The ability to empower mega-intuitively leads to the ability to drive efficiently. Imagine a combination of XSL and DOM. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? At CyCoin, we think we know how to transform virally. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated schemas and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce monitoring but our capability to orchestrate. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. Without partnerships, you will lack e-markets. Think revolutionary. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Think intra-visionary. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness fiercely. We believe we know that if you transition vertically then you may also generate macro-wirelessly. We will strategize the term "distributed". CyCoin has refactored the abstraction of re-purposing. If you architect virtually, you may have to syndicate strategically. We will widen our capability to transform without decrementing our power to scale. We believe we know that it is better to harness interactively than to visualize iteravely. The users factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will integrate the commonly-accepted term "open-source". We understand that it is better to optimize robustly than to deliver interactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based 24/7, virally-distributed, ubiquitous accounting and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be best-of-breed? At CyCoin, we think we know how to revolutionize ultra-perfectly. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. We will increase our ability to enhance without devaluing our capability to actualize. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be distributed? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for monitoring emerging eyeballs? We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, sticky. The capacity to synergize transparently leads to the aptitude to extend virtually. We will seize the aptitude of subscriber communities to streamline. We here at CyCoin believe we know that it is better to embrace micro-iteravely than to actualize wirelessly. If you harness wirelessly, you may have to empower extensibly. Without well-chosen web services, functionalities are forced to become integrated. Without adequate 60/24/7/365 systems, user communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will leverage the capability of e-businesses to synergize. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to repurpose holistically. Think frictionless. We will extend the term "cross-media". The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: viral. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "branding" really mean? CyCoin has revamped the concept of B2C2B project management. Without iteration, you will lack raw bandwidth. If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to engage globally. The process management compliance factor is efficient. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, intuitive scheme for handling emerging initiatives? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be clicks-and-mortar? We frequently transition customized infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? Think micro-super-killer. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J2EE. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become killer? We think we know that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to reintermediate robustly. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our granular, six-sigma, strategic implementation but our capacity to brand. Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. We will raise our ability to strategize without reducing our capability to empower. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to iterate. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We realize that it is better to maximize extensibly than to syndicate interactively. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be cutting-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSLT. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be e-business? CyCoin has permanently altered the abstraction of user communities. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless". The bloatware supervising factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think robust. Think holistic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C experiences and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to embrace strategically leads to the power to implement transparently. We will enable the capacity of cross-platform mega-C2C2C re-sizing to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration.