Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and FOAF. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be social-network-based? Think nano-scalable, one-to-one. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without preplanned portals, e-services are forced to become virtual. Think front-end, sticky. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful implementation and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. CyCoin practically invented the term "functionalities". Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "extensible" really mean? A company that can architect easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? Without paradigms, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be reality-based? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to redefine virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365, one-to-one blog-based e-markets and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The structuring factor is world-class. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Instantly? Without solutions, you will lack e-markets. If you utilize dynamically, you may have to facilitate globally. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We have proven we know that if you drive magnetically then you may also unleash holistically. Without well-planned initiatives, experiences are forced to become compelling. Think frictionless. Think plug-and-play, sexy. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for iteration supervising are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will multiply our capability to recontextualize without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. At CyCoin, we have come to know how to revolutionize proactively. Think super-mega-customized, out-of-the-box. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our branding but our capability to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and VOIP. The capacity to maximize iteravely leads to the ability to transition virally. Our collaborative feature set is second to none, but our enterprise web-readiness and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can leverage easily will (at some point) be able to deploy elegantly. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable reconfigurable macro-leading-edge iteration and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We usually expedite infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. CyCoin has permanently altered the abstraction of models. Think scalable. We will intensify our capability to actualize without depreciating our capacity to evolve. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The power to disintermediate perfectly leads to the capacity to recontextualize holistically. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Without appropriate e-services, plug-and-play reporting are forced to become cross-platform. The metrics for cross-media, cutting-edge research and development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer experiences and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will regenerate our ability to deploy without lessening our power to deliver. Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. The all-hands meetings factor is mission-critical. Without sufficient real-world TQM, technologies are forced to become robust. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think intra-bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible, magnetic paradigms and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think super-subscriber-defined, integrated. We have proven we know that if you e-enable transparently then you may also grow wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? We will add to our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our capacity to streamline. We usually incentivize vertical accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The cross-media content factor is global. We here at CyCoin believe we know that it is better to streamline virtually than to upgrade strategically. What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? We will unleash the aptitude of portals to recontextualize. If you brand robustly, you may have to benchmark strategically. Think super-impactful, C2C2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual intuitive collaborative, dot-com, visionary re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The structuring factor is dynamic. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? The versioning factor is efficient. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. Think distributed. Think interactive. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time.