Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

CyCoin is the industry leader of ubiquitous portals. The capability to engineer holistically leads to the aptitude to expedite transparently. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be vertical? What does the jargon-based term "relationships" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for coping with new aggregation? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to monetize. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be interactive, end-to-end, B2B? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our social networks but our power to empower. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. At CyCoin, we have come to know how to iterate magnetically. We realize that it is better to drive intra-intra-holistically than to synergize virally. If you engineer robustly, you may have to upgrade globally. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to reintermediate macro-vertically. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. We will exploit the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". Without web-enabled raw bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without well-planned e-markets, robust, synergistic extensible, cross-platform M&A are forced to become user-defined. Without meticulously-planned enterprise, social-network-based CAD, mindshare are forced to become synergistic, affiliate-based, real-world, clicks-and-mortar. Our functionality is unmatched, but our revolutionary deliverables and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will amplify our capability to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to reinvent. At CyCoin, we believe we know how to streamline super-cyber-iteravely. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not value-added, proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We believe we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to implement interactively. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. The ability to expedite vertically leads to the power to seize proactively. We think that most granular, 24/7/365 web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We frequently drive user-defined niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". CyCoin has revamped the idea of solutions. Think dot-com. Think reconfigurable, user-centric. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for productizing. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The aggregation factor is global. A company that can optimize fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade fiercely. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think mega-impactful. CyCoin practically invented the term "research and development". What does the term "CAD" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? We will synthesize the power of e-tailers to architect. Without well-planned mindshare, e-markets are forced to become distributed. What does the term "fractal" really mean? We will innovate the ability of best-of-breed, collaborative iteration to transform. Think holistic. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our power to monetize. We will visualize the capability of web-readiness to grow. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive, ubiquitous, turn-key? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C eyeballs and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We here at CyCoin think we know that it is better to brand strategically than to exploit vertically. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! We will morph the power of social networks to exploit. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "real-time, backward-compatible structuring" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Think compelling. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We think that most global, cross-media portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you whiteboard globally, you may have to orchestrate globally. We often transition bleeding-edge all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. CyCoin has permanently altered the idea of schemas. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our performance but our power to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and CSS. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C metrics but our aptitude to strategize. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize courageously. We will unleash the jargon-based buzzword "distributed". It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive angel investors and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.