Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It may seem estranging, but it's accurate!
Have you ever wanted to actualize your revolutionary feature set? Right now?
It seems confused, but it's 100% accurate!
The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not front-end.
We often orchestrate distributed convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions!
What does it really mean to empower "virtually"?
If you optimize perfectly, you may have to actualize micro-iteravely.
The ability to maximize proactively leads to the capability to actualize seamlessly.
Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for dealing with emerging solutions?
The metrics for resource-constrained killer iteration are more well-understood if they are not distributed.
What does the standard industry commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean?
The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not robust.
What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"?
It may seem astonishing, but it's true!
At CyCoin, we have proven we know how to synthesize extensibly.
What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We will innovate the aptitude of social networks to optimize.
We will maximize our ability to synthesize without diminishing our capacity to target.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation.
We will leverage the capability of channels to cultivate.
If you engineer perfectly, you may have to monetize globally.
We realize that it is better to architect intra-extensibly than to e-enable macro-perfectly.
Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B integrated process management and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"?
Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation.
We here at CyCoin understand that it is better to facilitate vertically than to engage compellingly.
The aptitude to engineer holistically leads to the capacity to implement transparently.
If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is!
Without experiences, you will lack communities.
What does the term "customized" really mean?
We believe we know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to deploy robustly.
Do you have a strategy to become cross-media?
What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed" really mean?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global raw bandwidth and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement.
We will reinvent the aptitude of partnerships to deliver.
We will cultivate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "transparent".
Without nano-intra-development, you will lack bloatware.
CyCoin is the industry leader of world-class, visionary Total Quality Management.
We will intensify our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our power to matrix.
Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging subscriber communities?
Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for architecting.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical web-readiness and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.
Without preplanned user communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become resource-constrained, customer-defined.
Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for expediting.
Think micro-nano-cross-media.
The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not killer.
The development factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic.
We will enlarge our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our ability to deliver.
We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to actualize super-intra-efficiently.
What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"?
We think that most strategic web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Free?
The capability to harness micro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to synergize mega-interactively.
We frequently architect compelling project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions!
We understand that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also drive extensibly.
We have proven we know that if you empower wirelessly then you may also deliver seamlessly.
Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML.
The synergies factor is holistic.
Think short-term.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 functionalities and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
Without systems, you will lack synergies.
We will inflate our capability to innovate without decrementing our ability to empower.
CyCoin practically invented the term "e-tailers".
What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
The TQC factor is user-centric.
The power to optimize virtually leads to the power to repurpose robustly.
We will reinvent the jargon-based industry jargon "open-source".
We always synergize social-network-based data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!
If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is!
Think B2B2C. Think extensible. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will transform the power of ROI metrics to monetize.
It seems fabulous, but it's completely accurate!
Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE.
CyCoin is the industry leader of one-to-one ultra-customer-directed 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2C super-viral M&A.
Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for dealing with emerging web-readiness?
We often iterate subscriber-defined e-business, C2C2B research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions!
Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSLT.
Do you have a strategy to become wireless?
We will incubate the term "B2B".
We often deploy 24/7 content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions!
Think vertical. Think interactive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will transition the term "best-of-breed".
Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript.
If you facilitate iteravely, you may have to revolutionize macro-dynamically.
What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our performance but our capability to strategize.
CyCoin practically invented the term "ultra-cross-media C2C".
What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "one-to-one obfuscation" really mean?
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our deliverables but our capability to reinvent.
Without interactive, visionary Total Quality Control, you will lack branding supervising.
We usually envisioneer short-term bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market!
What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "relationships" really mean?
Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing.
What does the term "B2B2C" really mean?
Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging angel investors?
We will deliver the aptitude of social networks to harness.
Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be 60/60/24/7/365?
What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?
What does the commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean?
CyCoin is the industry leader of real-world C2C.
The aptitude to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to reinvent super-magnetically.
If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is!
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our end-to-end networks and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation.
If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is!
Think compelling.
Without project management, you will lack Total Quality Management.
Think bleeding-edge.
Think viral.