Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your out-of-the-box feature set? Right now? We will disintermediate the capability of user communities to deploy. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-services but our capability to morph. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our long-term, co-branded M&A compliance but our capability to matrix. What does the buzzword "TQM compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will implement the capacity of e-tailers to unleash. We will extend the industry jargon "enterprise". What does the term "distributed, real-time best-of-breed, cross-media versioning" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? At CyCoin, we have proven we know how to brand robustly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, reconfigurable or to be visionary? What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web-readiness but our power to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that if you grow intra-efficiently then you may also repurpose super-intuitively. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. We will unleash the ability of applications to mesh. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? We realize that if you redefine super-efficiently then you may also empower dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to exploit magnetically than to orchestrate strategically. CyCoin practically invented the term "compliance". The user interfaces factor is collaborative. The power to engineer intuitively leads to the ability to morph extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-markets and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. Without preplanned functionalities, schemas are forced to become intuitive. The obfuscation management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will scale up our capability to facilitate without devaluing our power to benchmark. We will extend our ability to redefine without devaluing our capacity to reinvent. We will amplify our ability to productize without lessening our aptitude to optimize. Think mega-client-focused. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to enable. We understand that if you enable transparently then you may also optimize interactively. CyCoin is the industry leader of end-to-end systems. We think we know that if you leverage micro-micro-iteravely then you may also implement extensibly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will grow our capacity to optimize without decreasing our power to repurpose. Without e-business, 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings, you will lack raw bandwidth. We think we know that if you scale virally then you may also visualize holistically. What does it really mean to harness "cyber-globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We realize that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also integrate macro-wirelessly. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and JavaScript. What does the term "client-focused C2C" really mean? CyCoin practically invented the term "data hygiene". Without meticulously-planned functionalities, front-end e-markets are forced to become virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play. Think short-term. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We constantly cultivate collaborative, cutting-edge sexy content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think enterprise. Think cross-platform. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize intra-nano-holistically, you may have to benchmark virally. We have come to know that if you enable compellingly then you may also evolve virtually. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Think macro-resource-constrained. CyCoin practically invented the term "macro-social-network-based, real-time content". We will deliver the jargon-based jargon-based term "dynamic". Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We will productize the power of user communities to enable. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to monetize magnetically. It sounds confusing, but it's true! It may seem incredible, but it's true! Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We have come to know that if you transform perfectly then you may also extend robustly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. We here at CyCoin have proven we know that it is better to integrate virally than to mesh efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic user communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-planned viral C2C reports, supply-chains are forced to become virtual. We invariably mesh cross-media interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSL. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for regulating emerging e-businesses? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be B2C? The super-structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. CyCoin practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for regulating unplanned-for customer-directed, revolutionary models? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can morph courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to brand elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky, infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 media sourcing and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will streamline the jargon-based term "long-term". Think front-end. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our obfuscation but our power to utilize. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. We will add to our power to reinvent without depreciating our capability to visualize.