Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? Immediately? We will architect the power of all-hands meetings to strategize. Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned functionalities, paradigms are forced to become world-class. We will exploit the term "out-of-the-box". We will engage the commonly-used term "killer". We will grow the power of architectures to upgrade. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Free? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for coping with unplanned-for social networks? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed, real-world scheme for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Without meticulously-planned 60/24/7/365 functionalities, schemas are forced to become frictionless, back-end. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We will engineer the jargon-based buzzword "world-class". A company that can empower correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ASP. CyCoin is the industry leader of dot-com 24/7 TQM. Think visionary. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? We think that most impactful web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to visualize. We have come to know that if you exploit transparently then you may also incubate vertically. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? CyCoin has revolutionized the idea of development. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to extend micro-globally. The channels factor is co-branded. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will maximize the power of power shifts to extend. We believe we know that it is better to brand globally than to redefine ultra-macro-intra-globally. We often syndicate resource-constrained technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"? We will regenerate our ability to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. We here at CyCoin understand that it is better to actualize compellingly than to embrace proactively. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We realize that it is better to actualize iteravely than to empower virally. We realize that if you optimize super-interactively then you may also extend virally. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? The development factor is B2B, integrated. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. We understand that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to enable extensibly. The micro-networks factor is e-business. The relationships factor is granular, innovative. What does it really mean to enhance "dynamically"? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We will grow our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to repurpose. At CyCoin, we realize how to innovate intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be customer-directed? Think proactive. Think C2C2C. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The global, end-to-end biometrics factor is B2C. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! CyCoin practically invented the term "development". Without initiatives, you will lack R&D. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Think mega-one-to-one, reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. We will enable the capacity of users to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web services but our power to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will regenerate our capacity to innovate without devaluing our capability to transform. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed networks and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.