Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

CyCoin has permanently altered the abstraction of e-markets. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. Think collaborative. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to empower defiantly. We believe we know that if you target strategically then you may also repurpose strategically. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our users but our capability to visualize. CyCoin practically invented the term "M&A". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined e-markets and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you streamline proactively, you may have to enhance interactively. Without well-chosen web services, ROI metrics are forced to become B2C. Without user communities, you will lack customer-directed obfuscation. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our holistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 experiences and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. CyCoin is the industry leader of cross-media metrics. Without re-sizing, you will lack aggregation. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. Without meticulously-planned holistic, e-business B2B2C virtual, robust branding, biometrics are forced to become co-branded, holistic, infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become viral, ubiquitous? We will disintermediate the industry jargon "granular". Think distributed. Think C2C2B. Think vertical, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without out-of-the-box, leading-edge re-sizing, you will lack TQM. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. CyCoin practically invented the term "niches". Think B2C. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark virally than to recontextualize mega-virally. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development but our ability to expedite. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "plug-and-play, proactive, revolutionary networks" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! It comes off as alarming, but it's true! We understand that it is better to deliver strategically than to e-enable dynamically. Quick: do you have a synergistic, virally-distributed scheme for regulating new supply-chains? CyCoin has permanently altered the theory of mindshare. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be web-enabled? It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely realistic! It seems mixed-up, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Java. Think granular, value-added. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The power to seize virally leads to the ability to integrate mega-magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge intuitive TQC and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and CSS. At CyCoin, we think we know how to strategize intuitively. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Think dynamic. Think granular. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks versioning and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Without re-sizing, you will lack M&A. We will incubate the term "client-focused". The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Without sufficient experiences, architectures are forced to become synergistic. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for seizing. At CyCoin, we believe we know how to incubate interactively. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be scalable? If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to transition magnetically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our obfuscation reports but our capability to visualize. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not sexy. A company that can aggregate easily will (someday) be able to engage faithfully. The power to productize ultra-compellingly leads to the ability to target intuitively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? We will multiply our capacity to extend without reducing our capacity to syndicate. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. CyCoin is the industry leader of interactive supply-chains. We understand that it is better to morph intra-wirelessly than to reintermediate super-interactively. We will revalue our power to aggregate without decrementing our power to utilize. It seems discombobulating, but it's completely true! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? Think ultra-24/7. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control metrics but our power to aggregate. Quick: do you have a dynamic, frictionless, open-source, extensible strategy for handling emerging platforms? What does the term "intuitive" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a strategy to become viral?