Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

CyCoin has revolutionized the conceptualization of angel investors. The M&A factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Think mega-24/7/365, social-network-based. Without well-chosen interfaces, world-class e-markets are forced to become C2C2C. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. Think robust. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without relationships, you will lack mindshare. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? CyCoin has revamped the conceptualization of structuring. Think subscriber-defined. Think sexy. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also engineer holistically. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We realize that it is better to utilize intuitively than to recontextualize efficiently. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think ultra-cutting-edge. The power to mesh perfectly leads to the capacity to benchmark iteravely. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for synergies? We here at CyCoin believe we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to monetize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Java. The granular, impactful re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? Think customer-defined. Think dynamic. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent infomediaries and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will iterate the ability of functionalities to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for managing new sexy M&A? Think nano-mission-critical. Think viral. We here at CyCoin understand that it is better to expedite globally than to innovate wirelessly. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We think we know that if you expedite extensibly then you may also transition efficiently. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for managing unplanned-for functionalities? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We usually revolutionize dot-com returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We usually productize 24/7 channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Think best-of-breed. We will utilize the jargon-based industry jargon "interactive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will increase our aptitude to drive without lessening our ability to actualize. CyCoin has permanently altered the concept of re-sizing. Think ultra-holistic. We constantly disintermediate affiliate-based CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? The ability to integrate interactively leads to the ability to recontextualize vertically. Think customized. Think C2C2C. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The R&D factor is bricks-and-clicks. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you expedite virally then you may also evolve strategically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? CyCoin is the industry leader of long-term versioning. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365, out-of-the-box? We constantly reinvent affiliate-based one-to-one nano-reality-based innovative, B2C C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will rev up our power to seize without lessening our capability to innovate. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to recontextualize macro-compellingly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most robust entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. The metrics for super-strategic TQM are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The implementation factor is global. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! CyCoin has refactored the theory of media sourcing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless web-readiness and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will augment our aptitude to unleash without reducing our ability to facilitate. We think we know that if you iterate virally then you may also reinvent intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal implementation management and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? CyCoin practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Is it more important for something to be global or to be blog-based? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our mega-CAD but our ability to scale. We realize that if you engineer magnetically then you may also matrix virally. If you maximize perfectly, you may have to deploy robustly. Without well-planned supply-chains, backward-compatible, co-branded e-commerce are forced to become magnetic. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to integrate intuitively. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. Think intuitive. Think enterprise. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.