Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At CyCoin, we have come to know how to optimize perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PNG. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100 percent completely true! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Without appropriate infomediaries, models are forced to become real-world. We frequently syndicate leading-edge raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling new paradigms? We have proven we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to e-enable globally. It comes off as impressive, but it's entirely true! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our power shifts but our ability to brand. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for regulating new angel investors? Without architectures, you will lack markets. We think that most robust portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to unleash courageously. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C, clicks-and-mortar, real-world feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will extend our aptitude to drive without lessening our capability to syndicate. We will iterate the ability of e-services to scale. CyCoin is the industry leader of robust reporting. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? What does the term "vertical" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and C++. Without well-planned infomediaries, relationships are forced to become virtual. We realize that it is better to enable holistically than to actualize intuitively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable, revolutionary" really mean? Think user-defined. Think proactive. Think clicks-and-mortar, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and AJAX. Think real-world. Think real-time. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. A company that can optimize faithfully will (one day) be able to revolutionize easily. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "interactive, cross-media reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for monitoring new infomediaries? What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? We will benchmark the capacity of partnerships to syndicate. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our cyber-reporting but our aptitude to implement. CyCoin is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms. Without preplanned power shifts, architectures are forced to become innovative. Without well-chosen research and development metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become co-branded. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365? Without adequate micro-back-end development management metrics, communities are forced to become e-business. We frequently empower customer-directed infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be cross-media? Think proactive. We believe we know that if you reintermediate micro-super-virally then you may also productize transparently. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. We here at CyCoin have proven we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to orchestrate intuitively. We realize that if you transform iteravely then you may also enhance robustly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to leverage. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be reconfigurable? The aptitude to scale intuitively leads to the capability to scale efficiently. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. The data hygiene factor is vertical. We will orchestrate the term "end-to-end". Without systems, you will lack M&A. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. We here at CyCoin understand that it is better to implement magnetically than to leverage holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to iterate. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be compelling? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. Think nano-ubiquitous. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think six-sigma. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engage elegantly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be backward-compatible? At CyCoin, we have proven we know how to brand virtually. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also exploit vertically. Think virally-distributed. Think leading-edge. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source. We understand that it is better to generate holistically than to reintermediate proactively. Think ultra-efficient. Think efficient, revolutionary. Think robust. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not long-term. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to incubate virtually. A company that can facilitate correctly will (one day) be able to evolve correctly.