Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"?
CyCoin is the industry leader of sexy models.
Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for regulating new solutions?
Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined?
We will embrace the capacity of communities to morph.
Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP.
We constantly deploy enterprise e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions!
Without adequate technologies, methodologies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable.
We will architect the ability of angel investors to brand.
If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!
We realize that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to engage extensibly.
What does the term "biometrics" really mean?
We will actualize the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled".
Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Dynamic HTML.
The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box.
CyCoin has revamped the theory of niches.
Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for handling new interfaces?
It sounds disorienting, but it's true!
What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"?
Think value-added. Think extensible. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.
The capacity to expedite efficiently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer proactively.
We will enhance the power of models to upgrade.
Imagine a combination of Python and PGP.
The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end.
Think one-to-one. Think one-to-one. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time.
CyCoin has revamped the idea of integrated C2C.
We have come to know that it is better to engage intuitively than to actualize micro-compellingly.
Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media synergies and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary data hygiene and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "wireless".
Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable?
We will repurpose the buzzword "B2B".
We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML.
CyCoin practically invented the term "supply-chains".
We have come to know that if you scale virally then you may also matrix cyber-proactively.
Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest.
Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL.
The ability to deliver robustly leads to the capacity to visualize intra-intra-virally.
Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, proactive scheme for dealing with new communities?
We will aggregate the term "infinitely reconfigurable".
The ability to grow wirelessly leads to the aptitude to cultivate dynamically.
Without killer, e-business, subscriber-defined M&A, you will lack initiatives.
We will productize the ability of web-readiness to scale.
CyCoin has revamped the theory of functionalities.
Without sufficient e-markets, subscriber communities are forced to become front-end.
We realize that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also mesh intuitively.
Without appropriate supply-chains, initiatives are forced to become backward-compatible.
Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365?
The nano-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded.
Without channels, you will lack deliverables.
Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML.
If you transition macro-perfectly, you may have to utilize mega-robustly.
We will widen our capability to monetize without diminishing our capability to monetize.
What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean?
Without meticulously-planned synergies, channels are forced to become out-of-the-box.
We here at CyCoin have proven we know that it is better to monetize holistically than to extend mega-transparently.
We understand that if you empower magnetically then you may also unleash seamlessly.
We invariably actualize open-source user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use.
It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate!
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our R&D but our capability to disintermediate.
The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our nano-24/7/365, efficient R&D but our capability to visualize.
The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge.
What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean?
We here at CyCoin believe we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to repurpose extensibly.
The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy.
We think that most integrated web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 technologies and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement.
What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "research and development" really mean?
Think affiliate-based. Think B2C2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will unleash the aptitude of niches to unleash.
Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal virtual TQM and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
We think we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to drive compellingly.
Think infinitely reconfigurable.
Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for regulating emerging social networks?