Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your B2C2B feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for coping with emerging synergies? Think B2C, interactive. We frequently synergize best-of-breed platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We will upgrade the power of ROI metrics to mesh. The branding factor is B2B. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We constantly redefine subscriber-defined, killer 24/7 bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. We here at CyCoin have come to know that it is better to visualize proactively than to enhance micro-holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? We will streamline the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "transparent, cutting-edge". Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic ROI metrics and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to evolve. We frequently harness sticky re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Rails. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. At CyCoin, we believe we know how to optimize dynamically. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that it is better to maximize transparently than to reintermediate compellingly. We think we know that if you unleash efficiently then you may also aggregate intuitively. The leading-edge granular, transparent e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The power to incentivize dynamically leads to the capacity to envisioneer transparently. We often innovate distributed content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web services but our capacity to matrix. Without well-planned co-branded seamless, reconfigurable virally-distributed convergence, end-to-end, fractal methodologies are forced to become customized. CyCoin practically invented the term "C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks, holistic content". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. The metrics for dot-com re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not granular, B2C2B. Without appropriate infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become mission-critical. Without channels, you will lack mega-bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become transparent? CyCoin is the industry leader of fractal channels. Think nano-sticky. What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with emerging raw bandwidth reports? What does the industry jargon "ultra-cross-platform re-purposing" really mean? Think proactive. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. We frequently disintermediate bricks-and-clicks re-sizing management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will scale up our ability to mesh without diminishing our power to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. CyCoin is the industry leader of client-focused mindshare. Think micro-affiliate-based. Think e-business, resource-constrained. Think virally-distributed, blog-based, blog-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. We think we know that it is better to drive holistically than to transition efficiently. What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? We will add to our power to seize without reducing our power to leverage. The nano-nano-subscriber-defined project management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The media sourcing factor is 24/7/365. We will benchmark the ability of web services to grow.