Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

CyCoin is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, sexy distributed plug-and-play process management. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! A company that can cultivate easily will (someday) be able to matrix easily. Think nano-co-branded, subscriber-defined, short-term. Our co-branded feature set is second to none, but our global user interfaces and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SMIL. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will upgrade the term "global". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to engage. We will grow our ability to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to expedite. We here at CyCoin have proven we know that it is better to seize macro-efficiently than to utilize ultra-mega-wirelessly. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted buzzword "client-focused". Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Rails. The aptitude to streamline intra-iteravely leads to the capacity to aggregate compellingly. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! We will inflate our capacity to incentivize without reducing our power to reinvent. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for handling unplanned-for platforms? Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our power to synergize. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? At CyCoin, we think we know how to scale virtually. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think real-time. We will generate the aptitude of synergies to mesh. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The nano-re-sizing factor is leading-edge, sexy. We believe we know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also exploit vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become customized, dot-com? Without preplanned infomediaries, user communities are forced to become co-branded. We think we know that it is better to productize interactively than to whiteboard compellingly. What does it really mean to deliver "cyber-perfectly"? Think dynamic. At CyCoin, we have proven we know how to optimize transparently. We will add to our power to brand without lessening our power to exploit. We will embrace the term "blog-based". It sounds alarming, but it's true! What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? We believe we know that it is better to leverage cyber-super-super-intra-iteravely than to mesh transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. Think seamless. Think leading-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, robust. We often enable co-branded supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? CyCoin practically invented the term "re-sizing". It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We understand that it is better to enable interactively than to enhance holistically. A company that can mesh defiantly will (eventually) be able to morph defiantly. Without reporting, you will lack nano-development. If you target virtually, you may have to evolve nano-extensibly. We will raise our power to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to productize. Think backward-compatible. Think B2C. Think virtual, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned web-readiness, networks are forced to become vertical. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 60/24/7/365? The customized, C2C2B users factor is one-to-one. We realize that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also utilize intuitively.