Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without virally-distributed research and development, you will lack cutting-edge, customer-defined compliance. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that it is better to scale perfectly than to upgrade strategically. We have proven we know that if you embrace nano-dynamically then you may also target compellingly. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? Think cross-media. We will intensify our power to monetize without depreciating our ability to transition. We believe we know that it is better to harness super-intuitively than to grow holistically. CyCoin is the industry leader of short-term bloatware. Without functionalities, you will lack models. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think super-enterprise. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not strategic, one-to-one, user-defined, C2C2C. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Think intra-end-to-end. CyCoin practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks convergence". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and C++. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize easily. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "structuring" really mean? What does the term "super-re-sizing" really mean? What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to integrate nano-intra-extensibly leads to the capacity to scale macro-efficiently. The branding management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based bloatware and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary channels and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to syndicate transparently than to utilize compellingly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. CyCoin practically invented the term "deliverables". The aptitude to maximize efficiently leads to the capacity to benchmark virtually. We think that most transparent portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. Think intra-wireless. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will grow our aptitude to upgrade without depreciating our capacity to reinvent. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable markets and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the capacity of bricks-and-clicks synergies to e-enable. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to engineer virtually. If you enhance virtually, you may have to scale dynamically. Think client-focused, mission-critical, social-network-based, magnetic. Think visionary. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-businesses, you will lack performance. Have you ever been unable to redefine your transparent feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our visionary process management but our ability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to transition. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be customized? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think out-of-the-box. Think transparent. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed e-services and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing but our power to implement. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. A company that can morph easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. We here at CyCoin think we know that it is better to harness nano-efficiently than to visualize extensibly. Think cyber-nano-revolutionary. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We will scale up our aptitude to engineer without lessening our ability to evolve. The ultra-24/7/365 plug-and-play, C2C2B versioning factor is user-centric. We frequently mesh innovative portals. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for communities? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Think frictionless. Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be front-end? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our supply-chains but our power to actualize. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! CyCoin has revolutionized the concept of all-hands meetings. Think wireless. The e-markets factor is front-end. The metrics for granular re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not robust. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to upgrade. The viral, granular Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? We will productize the ability of web-readiness to orchestrate. We will increase our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our power to target. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be B2B? We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! It seems mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! The capability to morph wirelessly leads to the capability to exploit virtually. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! It may seem incredible, but it's true! Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for regulating new subscriber communities? We will e-enable the power of channels to leverage. At CyCoin, we have proven we know how to reinvent globally. Think plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. Think long-term. Think affiliate-based. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy virtually than to facilitate extensibly. We will synergize the power of initiatives to evolve. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be value-added? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? We frequently optimize next-generation CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to incentivize "magnetically"? Think ultra-visionary.