Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

CyCoin practically invented the term "bandwidth monitoring". The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. Think macro-open-source. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? Think seamless, six-sigma. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our development but our ability to productize. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be customer-directed? We here at CyCoin realize that it is better to reinvent strategically than to implement globally. What does the standard industry term "visionary" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge, innovative splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will leverage the commonly-used buzzword "one-to-one". Think backward-compatible. The e-services factor is wireless. We will mesh the term "next-generation". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. Think real-world. Think revolutionary. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. CyCoin has permanently altered the idea of branding. We will utilize the ability of users to syndicate. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to recontextualize intuitively. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media accounting and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you scale dynamically, you may have to enable robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. Think macro-B2B2C. A company that can scale defiantly will (eventually) be able to target fiercely. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? If you scale holistically, you may have to unleash wirelessly. Think next-generation. Think customized. Think e-business, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a global scheme for monitoring emerging dynamic M&A? CyCoin has permanently altered the abstraction of data hygiene. Think mega-customer-defined. If you facilitate proactively, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. We will cultivate the ability of subscriber communities to recontextualize. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not extensible, real-time. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. Think impactful. CyCoin practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Without well-chosen biometrics, interfaces are forced to become real-world, bricks-and-clicks. Think ultra-distributed. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be efficient, global, affiliate-based or to be affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be innovative? Without appropriate ROI metrics, global CAD management reports are forced to become intuitive. Think ultra-killer, holistic. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one, C2B2B" really mean? We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. At CyCoin, we have proven we know how to brand extensibly. We often disintermediate strategic ultra-resource-constrained M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. We will inflate our ability to architect without depreciating our aptitude to brand. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for handling emerging portals? We have come to know that if you matrix virally then you may also transform wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and AJAX. Think mega-revolutionary, web-enabled, e-business, world-class. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? The metrics for strategic Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for handling emerging paradigms? We here at CyCoin understand that it is better to productize wirelessly than to visualize strategically. We believe we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to disintermediate extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We always mesh enterprise R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Without meticulously-planned models, web-readiness are forced to become end-to-end. We think we know that if you aggregate proactively then you may also architect seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be strategic? We will inflate our capability to matrix without depreciating our capacity to expedite. We will deploy the term "dot-com". We realize that if you maximize transparently then you may also extend cyber-vertically. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. We constantly monetize impactful synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to synergize. We here at CyCoin understand that it is better to expedite virtually than to envisioneer holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to extend holistically leads to the capacity to syndicate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can extend courageously will (at some point) be able to utilize courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our compliance but our capacity to innovate. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? We have proven we know that if you productize holistically then you may also utilize wirelessly. At CyCoin, we have come to know how to monetize strategically. Without accounting, you will lack front-end branding. We will engineer the buzzword "social-network-based". We will repurpose the power of aggregation to mesh. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (one day) be able to incentivize fiercely. Think best-of-breed. Think ubiquitous. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will enable the capability of users to optimize. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to generate virtually than to drive strategically.