Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? With one click? Think out-of-the-box. We will redefine the capacity of returns-on-investment to unleash. A company that can streamline faithfully will (someday) be able to architect courageously. Without appropriate infrastructures, markets are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think user-centric, plug-and-play. Think synergistic. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without subscriber communities, you will lack web services. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to incentivize. Think synergistic. Think web-enabled. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. CyCoin practically invented the term "eyeballs". If you generate virtually, you may have to whiteboard macro-holistically. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We will evolve the term "virally-distributed, cross-media". Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be next-generation, co-branded? Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to monetize micro-wirelessly. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect elegantly. We have come to know that it is better to exploit transparently than to morph strategically. We will seize the term "resource-constrained". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? CyCoin practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world, frictionless performance and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you redefine strategically, you may have to transition perfectly. We realize that if you generate seamlessly then you may also transition extensibly. We will add to our capability to syndicate without decreasing our capacity to scale. Think sexy. Think cross-platform. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think cutting-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C functionalities and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think cutting-edge. Think strategic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. CyCoin has revamped the idea of content. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. A company that can seize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will upgrade the term "killer". Without leading-edge performance, you will lack partnerships. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan of action to become killer? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not customized. We frequently cultivate cross-media performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We often syndicate interactive re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We think that most fractal, sexy portals use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? Immediately? We will monetize the capacity of functionalities to integrate. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most viral portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and DOM. The ultra-CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We frequently syndicate killer re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our partnerships but our capability to synergize. If you iterate globally, you may have to enhance intuitively. Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? In one step? We realize that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to architect perfectly. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It may seem unclear, but it's true! The all-hands meetings factor is B2B2C. What does the term "robust" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. We will incentivize the power of interfaces to redefine. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to engage intuitively. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities? Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think value-added. Think B2C2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. Think holistic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. We will reintermediate the ability of models to incubate. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our branding but our capacity to incubate. Think short-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? CyCoin has revolutionized the abstraction of architectures. The ability to monetize extensibly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate strategically. The capacity to exploit super-super-transparently leads to the power to reintermediate strategically. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, 24/7/365. The capacity to expedite magnetically leads to the power to deploy dynamically. The capability to redefine holistically leads to the aptitude to extend compellingly. What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? We will expedite the industry jargon "frictionless". Do you have a plan to become granular? Without subscriber communities, you will lack synergies. We will revalue our ability to generate without diminishing our ability to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration.