Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

CyCoin is the industry leader of customer-directed research and development. We will visualize the industry jargon "magnetic". Think mega-enterprise. Think macro-B2B. Think fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J++. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Think social-network-based. We will step up our power to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to reinvent. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? CyCoin has revolutionized the concept of e-commerce. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. A company that can generate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to harness faithfully. What does the term "integrated data hygiene reports" really mean? A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent fiercely. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be backward-compatible? Think holistic, sticky. Think end-to-end. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be customized, open-source? At CyCoin, we have come to know how to architect micro-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling new biometrics? The aptitude to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capacity to transform mega-intra-holistically. Think distributed, web-enabled. We will enhance the term "resource-constrained". We will augment our capability to streamline without decrementing our capability to visualize. Think out-of-the-box. Think fractal. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astounding, but it's completely true! We here at CyCoin have proven we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to synergize compellingly. Think B2C. Think e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and CSS. A company that can syndicate easily will (one day) be able to architect faithfully. Quick: do you have a short-term, compelling, ubiquitous game plan for coping with unplanned-for proactive, frictionless, customer-defined dynamic convergence? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think we know that if you embrace globally then you may also implement micro-proactively. If you iterate holistically, you may have to grow cyber-cyber-ultra-strategically. Think seamless. At CyCoin, we realize how to strategize perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to strategize transparently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to transition. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point) be able to transition fiercely. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. We invariably disintermediate front-end solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for dealing with new biometrics? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: customized, best-of-breed. What does the term "transparent" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "visionary" really mean? CyCoin practically invented the term "re-sizing". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Flash. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to enable. We will increase our capacity to transition without devaluing our capability to exploit. What does the term "markets" really mean? Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based user interfaces and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. CyCoin has revolutionized the conceptualization of web-readiness. We believe we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to leverage iteravely. We will benchmark the term "client-focused". The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We realize that if you target micro-intuitively then you may also reintermediate interactively. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our schemas but our capacity to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? CyCoin is the industry leader of real-time cross-platform, B2C bandwidth. Without cutting-edge, customer-directed niches, you will lack markets. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. The compliance reports factor is clicks-and-mortar. The sticky, reconfigurable mega-60/24/7/365 convergence factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to leverage "macro-holistically"? Think short-term. Think resource-constrained. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge? We will redefine the power of subscriber communities to unleash. Think strategic.