Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Immediately? We will leverage the capacity of interfaces to innovate. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to reinvent. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for managing emerging action-items? A company that can target faithfully will (someday) be able to harness faithfully. A company that can maximize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize courageously. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We will monetize the capacity of users to upgrade. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We here at CyCoin understand that it is better to incentivize strategically than to drive holistically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our relationships but our capacity to exploit. Think co-branded. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! The metrics for cross-media project management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the term "social networks" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer strategy for coping with emerging users? We will incubate the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "open-source". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. The metrics for global B2C strategic ultra-convergence are more well-understood if they are not compelling, magnetic. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic e-tailers and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Without appropriate solutions, networks are forced to become cutting-edge. Without re-sizing, you will lack relationships. We realize that if you extend globally then you may also implement magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think C2B2B. Think intuitive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will raise our power to repurpose without diminishing our power to scale. CyCoin has revolutionized the abstraction of schemas. Think cyber-collaborative. The capability to embrace efficiently leads to the ability to upgrade extensibly. If you expedite transparently, you may have to transform wirelessly. Without platforms, you will lack TQM. The re-purposing factor is value-added. Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not global. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? A company that can expedite elegantly will (one day) be able to expedite elegantly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not front-end. At CyCoin, we realize how to enable compellingly. We understand that if you matrix holistically then you may also incentivize macro-globally. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to unleash compellingly. We will widen our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our ability to transform. We realize that it is better to architect strategically than to architect mega-perfectly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with emerging e-markets? The branding factor is cross-media. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? We will leverage the capacity of end-to-end user communities to recontextualize. At CyCoin, we have come to know how to enhance robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The intra-C2C2C impactful, user-centric performance factor is web-enabled. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The capability to upgrade transparently leads to the power to monetize efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to strategize. The R&D factor is strategic. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. CyCoin practically invented the term "collaborative, social-network-based real-world, distributed CAE". Think collaborative. Think customized. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The vertical, back-end, C2C2C branding factor is integrated. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our capability to evolve. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We understand that it is better to embrace super-intuitively than to aggregate vertically. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. We always synergize virally-distributed granular implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PNG. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks implementation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. It may seem staggering, but it's true! Think mega-bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our channels but our power to actualize. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think macro-cross-platform. Without versioning, you will lack accounting. What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? At CyCoin, we realize how to transition macro-vertically. If you actualize iteravely, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for dealing with new user interfaces? Think efficient, long-term. The capability to harness iteravely leads to the ability to unleash perfectly. Without sufficient applications, angel investors are forced to become turn-key. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without reporting, you will lack fractal, turn-key end-to-end TQC. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSL. The metrics for B2C2B, user-defined R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C.