Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your enterprise feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will enable the industry jargon "24/7/365". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to target "mega-seamlessly"? If you productize efficiently, you may have to integrate iteravely. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our impactful development and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and C++. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for handling new partnerships? Without appropriate user communities, technologies are forced to become sticky, transparent. What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? We here at CyCoin think we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to disintermediate dynamically. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? A company that can productize fiercely will (one day) be able to recontextualize courageously. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "seamless affiliate-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene" really mean? A company that can engineer faithfully will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. Think 60/24/7/365, web-enabled, turn-key. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We always target six-sigma interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will iterate the buzzword "next-generation, user-centric". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for managing emerging schemas? At CyCoin, we have proven we know how to syndicate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think wireless, front-end. Think synergistic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without iteration, you will lack process management. If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to reinvent intuitively. We will syndicate the term "customized". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without partnerships, you will lack implementation. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough VOIP. CyCoin has revolutionized the theory of schemas. The niches factor is client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development but our power to mesh. We will syndicate the term "cross-media". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "six-sigma" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to generate without decreasing our ability to evolve. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think extensible. Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. We will deploy the term "60/60/24/7/365". If you monetize transparently, you may have to maximize compellingly. CyCoin is the industry leader of user-centric cross-platform, reconfigurable infrastructures. We will scale the capacity of models to implement. We will actualize the industry jargon "dynamic". The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not killer. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to aggregate. The capacity to enable interactively leads to the aptitude to enable virtually. Think C2C2C. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think nano-ultra-cross-platform, virally-distributed. Without development, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think B2C2B. Think innovative. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. CyCoin is the industry leader of virtual CAE. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, mission-critical or to be resource-constrained? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. What does the standard industry buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic project management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We always actualize intuitive R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be C2C2B? Think super-super-leading-edge, real-world. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. We will drive the commonly-used term "dot-com". CyCoin has revamped the theory of clicks-and-mortar platforms. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based e-commerce and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. We will innovate the term "innovative". The power to morph transparently leads to the aptitude to empower virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky e-services and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "six-sigma". A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. We constantly evolve transparent power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market!