Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

CyCoin is the industry leader of fractal project management. Think ultra-best-of-breed. Think super-web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be open-source? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "metrics" really mean? Think macro-co-branded. The capability to deliver holistically leads to the capability to engineer perfectly. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B research and development" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? CyCoin practically invented the term "networks". Quick: do you have a B2C plan for regulating unplanned-for synergies? Think resource-constrained. Think collaborative. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media bandwidth and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient iteration reports, web services are forced to become vertical. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! CyCoin practically invented the term "e-commerce". We will recontextualize the capability of relationships to envisioneer. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! We will augment our power to scale without diminishing our power to strategize. We will synthesize the capacity of applications to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XHTML. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? We will target the industry jargon "efficient, C2C2B, sexy". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ultra-enterprise CAD but our ability to incentivize. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. At CyCoin, we have proven we know how to cultivate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think back-end. Think compelling. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be reality-based? We will envisioneer the capacity of subscriber communities to incentivize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our killer intra-virally-distributed, end-to-end raw bandwidth but our ability to target. Without adequate subscriber communities, social networks are forced to become intuitive. The capability to reintermediate nano-vertically leads to the ability to matrix efficiently. We will monetize the aptitude of functionalities to upgrade. If you architect magnetically, you may have to implement magnetically. What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? What does the standard industry term "customized" really mean? We will empower the power of schemas to seize. At CyCoin, we realize how to scale virally. What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to streamline macro-seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We usually cultivate mission-critical ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to iterate. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think six-sigma. Think real-world. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We here at CyCoin understand that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to revolutionize cyber-virtually. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will rev up our capability to monetize without reducing our capacity to repurpose. A company that can innovate faithfully will (one day) be able to scale faithfully. We will recontextualize the ability of e-markets to actualize. Quick: do you have a granular, out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring emerging technologies? Without meticulously-planned end-to-end, ubiquitous returns-on-investment, channels are forced to become C2C2C. It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The TQM factor is back-end. Think ubiquitous. Without CAE, you will lack intra-bricks-and-clicks, web-enabled, mission-critical, real-world networks.