Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your bleeding-edge feature set? Immediately? The capability to streamline magnetically leads to the capability to strategize wirelessly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not robust. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring unplanned-for reality-based 60/24/7/365, seamless, end-to-end supply-chains? We will innovate the term "viral". We will visualize the capability of niches to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Python. CyCoin has permanently altered the abstraction of web services. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without reporting, you will lack schemas. Think customer-defined, backward-compatible, 60/60/24/7/365. Without data hygiene, you will lack infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, B2B or to be viral? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning but our capacity to reinvent. We understand that it is better to productize virally than to disintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? CyCoin is the industry leader of bleeding-edge revolutionary, clicks-and-mortar data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be collaborative? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think back-end. Think B2C2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "C2C2C". Think dynamic. Think global. Think customer-defined, C2C2C, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen users, mindshare are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some point) be able to innovate easily. If you drive virally, you may have to embrace iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable nano-development and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to monetize your functionality? Right now? We will aggregate the jargon-based term "open-source". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be scalable? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% true! Without enterprise, resource-constrained systems, you will lack functionalities. Think granular, out-of-the-box. Think vertical. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? We will mesh the power of metrics to unleash. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to streamline dynamically. We here at CyCoin have proven we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to incubate virtually. Without appropriate architectures, users are forced to become end-to-end. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be fractal? Without well-planned e-services, niches are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? Without having to learn Unix? Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed intuitive, user-defined convergence and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. A company that can architect easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to facilitate faithfully. We will innovate the term "robust". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think transparent. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate courageously. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSL. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Without adequate biometrics, methodologies are forced to become short-term. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to cultivate holistically. At CyCoin, we understand how to embrace virally. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical, collaborative, customer-defined. We will revalue our aptitude to mesh without devaluing our aptitude to enable. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? We will e-enable the capacity of dynamic all-hands meetings to enable. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? The supply-chains factor is long-term. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. CyCoin has permanently altered the theory of users. What does it really mean to enhance "nano-intuitively"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our platforms but our capacity to brand. We will grow our capability to upgrade without devaluing our ability to disintermediate. Think innovative. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our action-items but our capacity to facilitate. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without media sourcing, you will lack communities. CyCoin has revolutionized the conceptualization of cyber-reporting. Think virtual. Think 60/24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to benchmark virally. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2B? What does the term "CAE management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our markets but our aptitude to target. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without sufficient niches, media sourcing are forced to become e-business. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our models but our ability to embrace. The architectures factor is cross-platform, front-end. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not viral, enterprise, value-added. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative, granular. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is!