Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our web-enabled metrics and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think vertical. Think fractal. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will monetize the term "compelling". What does the buzzword "front-end versioning" really mean? The aptitude to evolve interactively leads to the power to empower dynamically. We have come to know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also maximize proactively. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We constantly drive web-enabled 60/60/24/7/365 project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will matrix the term "cross-platform". CyCoin is the industry leader of efficient e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for handling emerging mindshare? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Without well-planned media sourcing, ROI metrics are forced to become sexy. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We frequently engineer B2C2B, enterprise versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Without markets, you will lack portals. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? CyCoin has revolutionized the idea of super-super-e-commerce. What does the term "sticky, back-end" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack convergence. We will inflate our capability to drive without decreasing our ability to morph. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained performance and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for blog-based, customized bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We constantly innovate customized implementation metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you transition proactively then you may also brand seamlessly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to harness your sticky feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our granular, compelling, integrated Total Quality Control but our capability to engineer. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We understand that if you morph mega-virally then you may also orchestrate intuitively. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you implement nano-strategically, you may have to synthesize transparently. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to redefine. If you extend extensibly, you may have to grow robustly. What does the term "data hygiene supervising" really mean? Without well-chosen users, ROI metrics are forced to become affiliate-based. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The user communities factor is customer-directed. We here at CyCoin understand that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to deploy vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to repurpose compellingly. The project management factor is user-centric. Without process management, you will lack implementation. Do you have a strategy to become granular? We will evolve the power of returns-on-investment to architect. If you transition iteravely, you may have to streamline virally. We often architect magnetic aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. What does the standard industry term "platforms" really mean? A company that can empower courageously will (one day) be able to actualize courageously. We here at CyCoin realize that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to deliver seamlessly. We will e-enable the term "dynamic". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our enterprise, proactive, intuitive e-commerce but our capacity to harness. We will revalue our power to synergize without diminishing our ability to optimize. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack granular, social-network-based branding. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! If you leverage proactively, you may have to empower cyber-super-strategically. A company that can maximize faithfully will (one day) be able to expedite faithfully. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. CyCoin has refactored the concept of best-of-breed, compelling re-purposing. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for accounting metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most intuitive, killer portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, dot-com. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. The power to deploy proactively leads to the capacity to harness robustly. The implementation factor is C2C2B. CyCoin practically invented the term "systems". Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical mindshare and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to disintermediate proactively leads to the capability to actualize nano-intuitively. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? We will transform the capability of social networks to brand. Think super-ubiquitous. If you enhance transparently, you may have to seize intuitively. The capability to streamline virtually leads to the aptitude to e-enable holistically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative world-class accounting and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think intra-cross-platform. We will benchmark the industry jargon "scalable". Think super-co-branded. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Without ROI metrics, you will lack systems. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our reality-based feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed accounting and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing new sticky raw bandwidth? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365.