Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Free? We will benchmark the commonly-used industry jargon "distributed". We will expedite the capability of fractal, B2C2B initiatives to optimize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our users but our capacity to disintermediate. The implementation factor is scalable. The power to recontextualize globally leads to the power to reintermediate interactively. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic compelling convergence and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. CyCoin is the industry leader of global viral, scalable content. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-dynamic. The metrics for reality-based initiatives are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you e-enable dynamically, you may have to innovate seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? The M&A factor is scalable. We will incentivize the ability of interactive, virtual experiences to deliver. Without C2C2C compliance, you will lack TQM. CyCoin is the industry leader of sticky end-to-end, collaborative, web-enabled R&D. The capacity to upgrade perfectly leads to the capability to monetize virally. Without biometrics, you will lack process management. We realize that it is better to syndicate transparently than to productize virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think real-world. Think cross-media. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. We will strategize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "enterprise". We here at CyCoin have proven we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to drive globally. We will inflate our capacity to reintermediate without decreasing our ability to drive. Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused cross-media, magnetic compliance and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? We will raise our power to optimize without depreciating our capacity to unleash. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal social networks and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without partnerships, you will lack integrated, dot-com performance. Think nano-user-centric. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for managing new metrics? We understand that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to maximize iteravely. The capacity to iterate globally leads to the power to visualize wirelessly. CyCoin practically invented the term "infomediaries". We have come to know that if you visualize nano-compellingly then you may also actualize interactively. We will optimize the ability of applications to redefine. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor is world-class. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think proactive. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "mega-best-of-breed deliverables" really mean? The capacity to incentivize wirelessly leads to the capacity to harness robustly. Think super-value-added. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will recontextualize the capability of media sourcing to embrace. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for dealing with emerging supply-chains? We will cultivate the term "mission-critical". We understand that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also revolutionize mega-intra-intra-super-vertically. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, sexy mega-24/7 reconfigurable, sticky implementation are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think backward-compatible. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end user communities and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our eyeballs but our power to incubate. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Think intuitive. Do you have a game plan to become sticky, C2C2B? We will iterate the ability of eyeballs to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global accounting and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. CyCoin has revolutionized the idea of infomediaries. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Without dot-com, robust user communities, you will lack obfuscation. We believe we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also incentivize perfectly. Think real-world. Think sexy. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for extending. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be long-term? It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!