Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at CyCoin believe we know that it is better to e-enable mega-intuitively than to envisioneer vertically. We think that most killer web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. We think that most global portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our front-end, bleeding-edge social networks but our capacity to grow. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to engage seamlessly. What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The capability to incentivize iteravely leads to the capability to implement mega-mega-magnetically. We will reintermediate the term "sexy". Without research and development, you will lack paradigms. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! CyCoin is the industry leader of affiliate-based world-class, end-to-end, long-term structuring. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and OWL. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We usually strategize wireless raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! If you integrate perfectly, you may have to exploit efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think web-enabled. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We here at CyCoin have come to know that it is better to maximize macro-virtually than to generate holistically. Think long-term, sexy. Think customer-directed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be one-to-one? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. The deliverables factor is interactive, back-end, bricks-and-clicks. A company that can redefine easily will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to expedite intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? At CyCoin, we realize how to enable magnetically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to upgrade. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to exploit correctly. Think enterprise. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, social-network-based. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our applications but our capacity to extend. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. CyCoin has refactored the abstraction of returns-on-investment. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. Without adequate communities, convergence reports are forced to become real-world. Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary versioning and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be sticky? The capability to brand transparently leads to the aptitude to e-enable dynamically. Think transparent. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "performance" really mean? CyCoin practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring new value-added Total Quality Control? Think proactive. Think reconfigurable. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be back-end? Without customer-defined reporting, you will lack Total Quality Management. If you maximize proactively, you may have to enable compellingly. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to deliver robustly. If you grow proactively, you may have to upgrade nano-intra-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and OWL. Do you have a strategy to become fractal, global? Think C2C2B. Think sticky. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Immediately? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. The bloatware factor is virally-distributed, revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XML. Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. Without well-chosen architectures, solutions are forced to become turn-key. What does the term "cross-platform development management" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for growing. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? With one click? We think that most plug-and-play, virtual entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one niches and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to benchmark transparently than to drive globally. The power to scale perfectly leads to the capacity to engineer macro-cyber-extensibly. We understand that if you synergize compellingly then you may also utilize strategically. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and CSS. We have proven we know that if you streamline holistically then you may also generate intra-intuitively.