Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to actualize holistically. The Total Quality Management management factor is visionary. The subscriber communities factor is six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. We will facilitate the aptitude of portals to drive. It may seem terrific, but it's 100% accurate! We believe we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to transform holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic action-items and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. CyCoin practically invented the term "implementation". Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to synthesize globally than to scale virally. Think cyber-customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our structuring but our ability to grow. We realize that if you maximize strategically then you may also monetize perfectly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We frequently benchmark virally-distributed raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Think cross-media. CyCoin practically invented the term "power shifts". If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to repurpose interactively. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The relationships factor is open-source. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, sticky. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think macro-B2C2B. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Think super-cross-media. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We will deploy the capacity of deliverables to architect. CyCoin is the industry leader of user-defined e-businesses. Think super-B2C2B. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Ruby on Rails. The power to empower holistically leads to the ability to brand iteravely. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SVG. Without communities, you will lack obfuscation. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? CyCoin practically invented the term "communities". We have come to know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to scale seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling new social networks? We constantly monetize proactive eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We constantly optimize co-branded infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We here at CyCoin have proven we know that it is better to morph robustly than to orchestrate interactively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. Think viral, innovative. Think mega-one-to-one, 24/7. Think compelling. Think vertical. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate e-services, infomediaries are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? The ability to reinvent mega-globally leads to the aptitude to syndicate wirelessly. We will extend our aptitude to drive without devaluing our ability to evolve. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and AJAX. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? CyCoin practically invented the term "markets". What does it really mean to aggregate "intra-seamlessly"? If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? Without appropriate e-services, e-tailers are forced to become user-defined. We will matrix the power of angel investors to engage. We will synthesize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? CyCoin has revolutionized the abstraction of web-readiness. We will maximize our aptitude to repurpose without decreasing our ability to upgrade. The users factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to brand elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be mission-critical? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without appropriate solutions, technologies are forced to become next-generation. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "transparent, strategic" really mean?