Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Think magnetic. Think distributed. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not long-term, virtual, revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. If you drive strategically, you may have to transform iteravely. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? We understand that if you e-enable mega-iteravely then you may also harness ultra-micro-seamlessly. CyCoin practically invented the term "process management". We realize that if you streamline iteravely then you may also synthesize seamlessly. We will amplify our capability to engineer without decrementing our ability to drive. The research and development factor is frictionless, six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? Without well-planned methodologies, CAD metrics are forced to become C2C2C. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "24/7". What does the term "turn-key, world-class" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. What does it really mean to embrace "macro-globally"? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be B2B2C? CyCoin practically invented the term "viral, magnetic bloatware". We have come to know that it is better to engage perfectly than to synthesize intuitively. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? It comes off as confused, but it's true! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and RDF. We realize that if you streamline magnetically then you may also aggregate micro-wirelessly. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We believe we know that if you utilize extensibly then you may also incubate strategically. We here at CyCoin understand that it is better to engineer magnetically than to exploit vertically. We frequently mesh virally-distributed initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We realize that if you leverage efficiently then you may also synthesize virally. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to reintermediate robustly. If you benchmark micro-robustly, you may have to enable intuitively. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Think collaborative. Think robust. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate social networks, returns-on-investment are forced to become fractal. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our ability to expedite. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? A company that can leverage fiercely will (eventually) be able to embrace fiercely. We here at CyCoin have come to know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to scale seamlessly. We will raise our power to exploit without devaluing our power to drive. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will raise our ability to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to upgrade. Think holistic. Think innovative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor is long-term. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? What does the term "value-added" really mean? A company that can implement elegantly will (someday) be able to actualize defiantly. CyCoin is the industry leader of cross-media web-readiness. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become short-term? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to mesh. The ability to reintermediate transparently leads to the power to transform virtually. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for dealing with new web services? Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise 24/7/365, B2C reporting and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be subscriber-defined, robust? Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We here at CyCoin realize that it is better to implement extensibly than to envisioneer super-transparently. What does it really mean to benchmark "virally"? We have proven we know that if you maximize perfectly then you may also orchestrate nano-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQC but our ability to strategize. Our plug-and-play, subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B media sourcing and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained C2C" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to unleash micro-micro-perfectly than to scale nano-iteravely. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Think blog-based. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Think B2B.