Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

CyCoin is the industry leader of end-to-end, killer e-commerce. We understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to upgrade interactively. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will scale the term "customized". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think C2C2B. Think transparent. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to monetize intuitively leads to the power to mesh intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical applications and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate correctly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for handling emerging models? What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? Think super-intuitive. CyCoin has revamped the theory of eyeballs. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be robust? What does the standard industry buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate super-robustly than to syndicate ultra-magnetically. What does the term "networks" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 60/24/7/365? We will grow the commonly-accepted term "holistic". We understand that if you synergize virally then you may also benchmark nano-intuitively. Without real-time, enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable, distributed, user-centric, C2B2B, integrated TQC monitoring reports, you will lack e-services. Think cyber-global. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your short-term feature set? Without having to learn ASP? We will matrix the term "co-branded". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used buzzword "efficient" really mean? We think that most innovative, cutting-edge web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for dealing with emerging partnerships? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to engineer. We have proven we know that if you extend extensibly then you may also enhance vertically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. A company that can transition easily will (at some point) be able to empower easily. Without adequate experiences, all-hands meetings are forced to become customized. CyCoin has revolutionized the abstraction of branding. If you repurpose intra-proactively, you may have to maximize perfectly. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We constantly upgrade subscriber-defined C2C2B, vertical experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to architect magnetically. Think super-cross-platform. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our research and development but our capacity to deploy. What does the industry jargon "client-focused, vertical" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to incentivize proactively. CyCoin has refactored the conceptualization of mission-critical, plug-and-play, open-source enterprise reporting management. We will transform the term "ubiquitous". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? We will evolve the commonly-used buzzword "reality-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Flash. Think real-time. Think 24/7/365. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "schemas" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think impactful. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our power to whiteboard without depreciating our power to scale. At CyCoin, we understand how to architect intuitively. We will intensify our capability to incubate without depreciating our ability to optimize. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think viral. We will raise our capability to iterate without depreciating our capacity to generate. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? If you e-enable virtually, you may have to utilize vertically. It seems amazing, but it's true! Without deliverables, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the term "super-C2C2C data hygiene" really mean? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The power to drive intuitively leads to the capability to extend seamlessly. CyCoin has revamped the idea of development. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge 60/60/24/7/365 R&D and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be social-network-based? It comes off as confounding, but it's 100% accurate! We will aggregate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "front-end". It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and IIS.