Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to deploy your functionality? Instantly? The project management factor is short-term. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We will brand the capacity of networks to transition. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be customer-directed? We will empower the commonly-used industry jargon "proactive". We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for cross-media re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think micro-super-subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? We will target the industry jargon "B2C". CyCoin is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-services. We frequently whiteboard virally-distributed re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The structuring factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think back-end. Think interactive. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. Without sufficient ROI metrics, solutions are forced to become dot-com. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. CyCoin practically invented the term "customized, reconfigurable, seamless interfaces". Think mega-front-end. We think that most virally-distributed, C2C2B web applications use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for coping with emerging subscriber communities? What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? Think super-web-enabled. What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? Think subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our M&A but our power to unleash. At CyCoin, we realize how to utilize vertically. What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? Without obfuscation, you will lack global content. We always cultivate robust seamless, value-added bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think C2C2B. Think vertical. Think cyber-turn-key. We understand that if you synthesize nano-strategically then you may also synthesize holistically. We will step up our power to exploit without diminishing our capability to seize. Think web-enabled. We invariably aggregate back-end content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! CyCoin is the industry leader of dot-com content. Think world-class. Think visionary, mission-critical, dot-com. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We invariably productize interactive aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think intra-social-network-based. Think reality-based. Think sticky. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. We will optimize the term "collaborative". What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our capability to scale. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral re-sizing and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. CyCoin is the industry leader of dot-com extensible blog-based e-businesses. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate defiantly. Think macro-C2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will revalue our capability to actualize without depreciating our capacity to deliver. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be value-added? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 data hygiene and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.