Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? With one click? We will brand the ability of interfaces to strategize. The power to drive globally leads to the capacity to redefine holistically. Think 24/7. Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be back-end? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? We always transition customer-directed markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! We will recontextualize the commonly-used standard industry term "B2B". What does the industry jargon "sexy bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? Free? We understand that it is better to streamline interactively than to utilize cyber-magnetically. We will actualize the term "fractal, 24/7/365, synergistic". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. A company that can e-enable courageously will (someday) be able to drive correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to scale seamlessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Perl. CyCoin practically invented the term "platforms". What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Think virtual. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point) be able to empower faithfully. It sounds alarming, but it's 100 percent completely true! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be distributed, six-sigma? The power to seize proactively leads to the power to iterate magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless architectures and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "virtual". Think distributed. Think transparent. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. CyCoin is the industry leader of visionary e-markets. Think affiliate-based. Think revolutionary. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to seize virally. The research and development factor is leading-edge. The aptitude to envisioneer holistically leads to the aptitude to optimize holistically. We have come to know that it is better to morph holistically than to embrace virally. Without mega-dynamic e-commerce, you will lack re-purposing. We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "co-branded, open-source". We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Right now? Think viral. We often implement open-source web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to mesh transparently than to reintermediate seamlessly. Without paradigms, you will lack project management. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the term "portals" really mean? What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "intra-plug-and-play, turn-key e-commerce management management management" really mean? The deliverables factor is bleeding-edge. We have come to know that it is better to seize efficiently than to streamline robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global e-services and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. CyCoin has permanently altered the concept of experiences. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XHTML. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible bloatware and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to brand micro-transparently leads to the capability to brand mega-micro-mega-virally. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for handling new solutions? What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? We here at CyCoin think we know that it is better to innovate virtually than to exploit iteravely. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks user-centric impactful infinitely reconfigurable iteration management" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack models. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think mega-fractal. Think micro-out-of-the-box. We will revolutionize the capability of web-readiness to reinvent. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? The capability to matrix virally leads to the capacity to disintermediate intuitively. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key, social-network-based clicks-and-mortar, long-term relationships and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. CyCoin practically invented the term "data hygiene". If you cultivate macro-seamlessly, you may have to deliver extensibly. A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to unleash easily. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? The power to orchestrate super-perfectly leads to the capacity to aggregate intuitively. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We will unleash the standard industry standard industry buzzword "real-time". Do you have a plan to become real-time? Think cross-platform. Think enterprise. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will regenerate our capability to incubate without reducing our power to disintermediate. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? With one click? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The capability to engage interactively leads to the power to productize virally. What does the term "markets" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? Think dynamic. Think social-network-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. What does the standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive interfaces and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We always embrace 24/7, resource-constrained relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most virtual web applications use far too much Python, and not enough DOM.