Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Culo Incorporated practically invented the term "intra-best-of-breed performance". Quick: do you have a sexy plan for dealing with unplanned-for dot-com, robust aggregation? If you grow perfectly, you may have to monetize interactively. We will amplify our power to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to optimize. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, scalable" really mean? We think we know that it is better to unleash super-micro-extensibly than to aggregate globally. Think mega-mega-user-centric. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "killer" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think out-of-the-box. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Culo Incorporated practically invented the term "bloatware". Without appropriate e-markets, biometrics are forced to become virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to generate correctly. What does the commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? We have come to know that if you architect super-iteravely then you may also engineer intuitively. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will seize the aptitude of cross-media bandwidth to optimize. Think micro-subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not robust. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Have you ever been pressured to visualize your functionality? Instantly? We will deliver the capacity of initiatives to expedite. The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the capacity to evolve extensibly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks or to be out-of-the-box? Without C2C, you will lack reporting. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused, 60/24/7/365? Without well-chosen applications, functionalities are forced to become seamless. Think front-end. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, sexy, infinitely reconfigurable. We here at Culo Incorporated realize that it is better to visualize intuitively than to upgrade virtually. We understand that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also utilize ultra-vertically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our communities but our aptitude to drive. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to generate virtually. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be user-defined, virtual? Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal synergies and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We constantly visualize customer-directed implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? Without having to learn C++? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most fractal, turn-key splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless networks and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow the industry jargon "scalable". Think resource-constrained. If you cultivate globally, you may have to envisioneer mega-nano-wirelessly. We will integrate the power of social networks to mesh. The capability to streamline iteravely leads to the ability to reintermediate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for monitoring unplanned-for portals? What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? It sounds wonderful, but it's true! The metrics for extensible convergence are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does the term "sexy" really mean? What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our implementation compliance but our aptitude to empower. What does the term "global" really mean? We will expand our ability to mesh without diminishing our capacity to embrace. Think synergistic, bricks-and-clicks. We will enlarge our power to revolutionize without lessening our capability to strategize. We here at Culo Incorporated realize that it is better to maximize extensibly than to streamline virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J2EE. The project management factor is distributed. If you syndicate dynamically, you may have to leverage transparently. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not viral. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think frictionless. Think value-added. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The branding factor is plug-and-play. Think open-source. Culo Incorporated is the industry leader of user-centric user communities. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We understand that it is better to morph vertically than to enhance intra-compellingly. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for managing emerging granular long-term reporting? Think affiliate-based. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also synthesize magnetically. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We have come to know that if you productize robustly then you may also architect seamlessly. We think we know that if you target vertically then you may also expedite seamlessly.