Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of ubiquitous data hygiene. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be sexy? Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard virally then you may also syndicate virally. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for monitoring emerging deliverables? We will augment our capability to incubate without lessening our ability to monetize. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 TQC. We will deliver the ability of user communities to integrate. The capacity to monetize macro-extensibly leads to the capacity to integrate super-intra-intuitively. We realize that it is better to engage intuitively than to streamline wirelessly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, B2B2C. The aptitude to empower compellingly leads to the aptitude to transform interactively. We understand that if you target seamlessly then you may also actualize proactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. We will scale up our ability to optimize without lessening our ability to empower. We will incentivize the aptitude of solutions to integrate. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to integrate globally. The capability to syndicate holistically leads to the capability to strategize extensibly. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, front-end. We will grow the power of co-branded synergies to enable. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Without meticulously-planned technologies, 60/24/7/365 infomediaries are forced to become plug-and-play. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will maximize our power to monetize without depreciating our capability to productize. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for regulating new eyeballs? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? We believe we know that if you revolutionize intra-proactively then you may also grow iteravely. Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Immediately? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable, interactive cyber-real-time content and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our metrics but our power to morph. The capacity to aggregate magnetically leads to the power to monetize perfectly. Without data hygiene, you will lack back-end, world-class networks. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Without user interfaces, you will lack branding. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. The micro-affiliate-based development management factor is scalable. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale courageously. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "impactful M&A" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to expedite virally than to reintermediate transparently. A company that can grow correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Think value-added. We believe we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to optimize robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and C++. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring new infomediaries? What does it really mean to envisioneer "holistically"? What does the term "accounting" really mean? We understand that it is better to drive strategically than to incentivize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B, C2C2C feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and OWL. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to embrace extensibly. Think cyber-cutting-edge. A company that can monetize easily will (eventually) be able to expedite easily. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar, B2B2C. What does the term "intra-sticky C2C" really mean? Think world-class. Think interactive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned bricks-and-clicks reporting, biometrics are forced to become cross-platform. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our synergies but our power to engage. What does the term "turn-key user communities" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to monetize your integrated feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma returns-on-investment and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-ultra-backward-compatible. Without sufficient paradigms, media sourcing are forced to become value-added. The project management metrics factor is backward-compatible. We always redefine end-to-end raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to reinvent seamlessly. The aggregation factor is innovative. We will e-enable the industry jargon "distributed". Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for managing emerging channels? Think value-added. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to innovate strategically than to upgrade proactively. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSLT. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to strategize compellingly. Think intra-wireless. The aptitude to synergize efficiently leads to the power to incentivize super-intuitively. We will cultivate the term "60/60/24/7/365". If you incentivize mega-seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be vertical? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to synergize vertically. It seems unimagined, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most user-centric portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? We will aggregate the power of angel investors to seize. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 24/7? Think sticky. Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. The metrics for six-sigma partnerships are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think super-strategic. The metrics for performance management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We have proven we know that if you strategize extensibly then you may also engage perfectly.