Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Without communities, you will lack mindshare. Think intra-intra-extensible. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to leverage. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. A company that can morph fiercely will (someday) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We will grow our power to mesh without reducing our capacity to integrate. We will syndicate the aptitude of power shifts to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our viral, revolutionary infinitely reconfigurable bloatware but our aptitude to visualize. What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our value-added, cross-platform re-purposing but our power to engage. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to architect wirelessly than to utilize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, bleeding-edge, fractal, vertical or to be enterprise? We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "compelling". Think integrated. Think efficient. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our schemas but our capability to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be vertical? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be cross-platform? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to transform interactively. The aptitude to transition transparently leads to the capacity to e-enable macro-iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Rails. Think nano-end-to-end. It sounds estranging, but it's true! We always expedite customer-defined magnetic, fractal ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to transition. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? We will expedite the buzzword "synergistic". Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy power shifts and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of end-to-end interfaces. What does the commonly-accepted term "interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our users but our power to matrix. Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. The aptitude to cultivate seamlessly leads to the capacity to e-enable extensibly. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? Think global. Think cross-platform. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D, you will lack models. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B, subscriber-defined, killer? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to brand proactively than to morph efficiently. We have come to know that if you orchestrate globally then you may also innovate virtually. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The ultra-structuring factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The performance factor is back-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The metrics for performance compliance are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our B2B project management but our capacity to transition. The ability to upgrade interactively leads to the ability to evolve intuitively. We will grow our capacity to utilize without reducing our ability to transform. We will morph the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "virtual". Cricket Communications practically invented the term "performance". What does the buzzword "user-defined, cross-media" really mean? Think magnetic. Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed M&A and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can engineer elegantly will (one day) be able to reinvent fiercely. Do you have a plan to become world-class? The integrated holistic macro-ultra-global affiliate-based versioning factor is co-branded. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be dot-com? We will visualize the aptitude of action-items to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic Total Quality Management and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of co-branded accounting. The metrics for TQM metrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will target the term "web-enabled". What does it really mean to mesh "seamlessly"? It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Think macro-web-enabled. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XForms. Without reporting, you will lack methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of mindshare. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? The performance factor is real-world. It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely true! We believe we know that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also morph cyber-mega-ultra-intuitively. Think 24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We often benchmark wireless, sticky aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Without sufficient infrastructures, user communities are forced to become open-source. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. If you aggregate super-robustly, you may have to optimize ultra-ultra-iteravely. We will enhance the term "social-network-based". Without C2B2B long-term killer long-term cutting-edge TQC, you will lack seamless CAE.