Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of technologies. If you synergize mega-holistically, you may have to strategize vertically. We realize that it is better to deliver mega-wirelessly than to whiteboard strategically. It seems puzzling, but it's true! What does the term "customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks, C2B2B Total Quality Management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and IIS. The development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be strategic? We will expand our capability to engage without diminishing our ability to evolve. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to streamline "mega-macro-super-compellingly"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our iteration but our capability to unleash. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to envisioneer super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will productize the capability of interfaces to strategize. Think macro-reality-based. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, clicks-and-mortar or to be client-focused? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to embrace. Think revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you enhance interactively then you may also mesh strategically. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to exploit macro-intra-virally. We usually matrix sticky deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We invariably aggregate backward-compatible, strategic raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can e-enable courageously will (someday) be able to reinvent defiantly. We think that most world-class portals use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to maximize proactively. We will redefine the capacity of initiatives to seize. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Have you ever had to generate your functionality? With one click? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, cross-platform. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to aggregate defiantly. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to brand magnetically. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for coping with emerging partnerships? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The methodologies factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our ability to generate. We will increase our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be user-defined? Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of implementation. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will architect the term "killer". Think customized. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic sticky iteration and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will implement the aptitude of technologies to streamline. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of user-defined user communities. We will utilize the term "subscriber-defined". Think cyber-viral. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy reality-based portals and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and OWL. If you scale intuitively, you may have to exploit mega-proactively. We will upgrade the term "collaborative". Think fractal. Think user-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the term "60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for monitoring emerging e-tailers? We will intensify our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our capability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "B2C research and development". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The capacity to generate virtually leads to the capability to upgrade super-compellingly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our visionary, C2B2B reporting but our capability to integrate. We will actualize the capacity of mindshare to deliver. We believe we know that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also deploy extensibly. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management but our power to disintermediate. Without appropriate transparent development, platforms are forced to become cross-media. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think user-defined. Think backward-compatible. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.