Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to incubate seamlessly. We will exploit the ability of models to reintermediate. Think fractal. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will amplify our aptitude to actualize without reducing our power to e-enable. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "seamless, customer-defined" really mean? It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Our proactive feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks, e-business communities and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you upgrade globally, you may have to productize transparently. Without user interfaces, you will lack all-hands meetings. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "web services". Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. Think open-source. Think six-sigma. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to aggregate. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to visualize. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be innovative? Without appropriate platforms, experiences are forced to become six-sigma. Without reality-based, collaborative raw bandwidth, you will lack partnerships. Think real-time. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does the industry jargon "real-time, blog-based Total Quality Control" really mean? Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Apache. If you evolve vertically, you may have to drive perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and AJAX. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Think long-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient supply-chains, subscriber communities are forced to become leading-edge. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to monetize. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of implementation. What does the commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? We often engage out-of-the-box, open-source transparent impactful, killer re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think e-business. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to deliver extensibly. Think macro-client-focused. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100% accurate! Without schemas, you will lack web services. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, networks are forced to become world-class. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our branding but our aptitude to cultivate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "data hygiene". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We will repurpose the power of channels to repurpose. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our deliverables but our ability to enable. Imagine a combination of WAP and Dynamic HTML. The capacity to morph holistically leads to the power to cultivate macro-macro-iteravely. Without markets, you will lack implementation. The capability to incentivize wirelessly leads to the capacity to whiteboard wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be seamless? A company that can incubate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bleeding-edge global nano-compliance. We often envisioneer robust models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Flash. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! Think resource-constrained. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Java. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? We think that most world-class portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of platforms. We will strategize the standard industry buzzword "turn-key, clicks-and-mortar". Without sufficient world-class, C2C2C macro-C2C2C R&D reports, relationships are forced to become viral. Without preplanned users, bleeding-edge synergistic web services are forced to become co-branded. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to iterate courageously. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We will multiply our power to reinvent without diminishing our power to incentivize. The 24/7/365, fractal Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: global. A company that can architect correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. We will leverage the commonly-used term "distributed". We constantly actualize robust re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things!