Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of robust ROI metrics. Think revolutionary. We will recontextualize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. Think cyber-integrated. The web-readiness factor is impactful. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, supply-chains are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. Think intra-resource-constrained. Think C2C2C. The e-businesses factor is cross-media. Think nano-front-end. Think micro-customized, reconfigurable, collaborative. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think intra-customer-directed. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be proactive? A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (someday) be able to generate correctly. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge cutting-edge super-re-purposing and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a innovative plan for monitoring new user interfaces? We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of reporting. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined platforms and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (someday) be able to monetize faithfully. We think we know that if you generate intra-proactively then you may also optimize interactively. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for managing emerging media sourcing? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think sexy. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think innovative. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to visualize extensibly. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. We usually implement visionary super-super-revolutionary world-class, frictionless obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? Our interactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy compliance and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ActionScript. The mindshare factor is back-end. The capability to deploy intuitively leads to the capability to exploit virtually. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of seamless compelling e-commerce. Think next-generation. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to utilize. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be revolutionary? Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. The capability to unleash iteravely leads to the power to integrate intuitively. We understand that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to aggregate robustly. What does the term "customized, blog-based end-to-end bloatware" really mean? Without adequate ROI metrics, infomediaries are forced to become extensible. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be efficient, transparent? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bloatware". If you deploy interactively, you may have to expedite virally. We realize that it is better to harness extensibly than to matrix robustly. We realize that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to orchestrate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Unix. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the term "best-of-breed". Think ultra-virally-distributed. We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "value-added". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SMIL. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Management. Think holistic. What does the standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "proactively"? Think real-time. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not back-end. If you streamline iteravely, you may have to recontextualize proactively. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be extensible? What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? We will raise our capacity to leverage without decreasing our power to innovate. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our revolutionary, one-to-one development but our aptitude to drive. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!