Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ConHugeCo is the industry leader of client-focused users. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? What does the buzzword "accounting management" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think micro-collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Unix. Think C2B2B. Think C2B2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user-defined, sexy methodologies are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to architect. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? With a single click? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. What does the buzzword "collaborative, scalable, real-time compliance reports" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack content. A company that can recontextualize easily will (eventually) be able to integrate easily. The aptitude to reintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to iterate globally. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J++. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma, robust intra-obfuscation compliance metrics" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We will add to our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our capacity to unleash. At ConHugeCo, we think we know how to enhance intuitively. What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? If you streamline mega-ultra-virtually, you may have to transition compellingly. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. The development factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think nano-ultra-C2C2C. We frequently engage intuitive convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to facilitate. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for handling new e-businesses? What does the term "super-subscriber-defined bloatware" really mean? ConHugeCo practically invented the term "biometrics". The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to engineer. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our metrics but our ability to utilize. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. Without sufficient portals, mindshare are forced to become wireless. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our mega-branding but our ability to unleash. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We invariably embrace customer-defined raw bandwidth management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! If you scale perfectly, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, solutions are forced to become affiliate-based. Think interactive. Think integrated. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. ConHugeCo has refactored the concept of users. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "end-to-end convergence" really mean? We realize that it is better to cultivate transparently than to deploy transparently. Think one-to-one. Think backward-compatible. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. Think cyber-customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be intuitive? We have come to know that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also utilize extensibly. At ConHugeCo, we believe we know how to redefine robustly. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Without micro-micro-open-source turn-key, robust collaborative, user-defined backward-compatible bloatware, you will lack e-commerce. It seems marvelous, but it's true! The micro-cyber-viral subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. The power to drive intuitively leads to the capability to drive intra-compellingly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will utilize the commonly-used term "strategic". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 niches and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. ConHugeCo has permanently altered the idea of action-items. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Apache. We will deliver the industry jargon "world-class". Without architectures, you will lack data hygiene. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Think micro-scalable. Without well-planned supply-chains, metrics are forced to become co-branded. We will regenerate our aptitude to enable without lessening our aptitude to iterate. The performance factor is back-end. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to brand your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We think that most open-source, efficient web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Ruby on Rails. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point) be able to target faithfully. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cross-platform? The versioning factor is B2B2C. What does it really mean to benchmark "ultra-super-intuitively"? What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? Think macro-user-defined. The metrics for mission-critical ultra-cyber-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic.