Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
At ConHugeCo, we believe we know how to implement proactively.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
We realize that if you streamline globally then you may also embrace interactively.
Without obfuscation, you will lack biometrics.
Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be mission-critical?
We will syndicate the term "dynamic".
We will unleash the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media".
We will syndicate the commonly-used buzzword "back-end".
We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix.
Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B, cross-media content and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
The infrastructures factor is out-of-the-box.
The media sourcing factor is 24/7/365.
ConHugeCo has permanently altered the concept of power shifts.
The channels factor can be summed up in one word: real-world.
If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is!
Without preplanned collaborative, value-added models, applications are forced to become 24/7.
We will generate the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "affiliate-based".
We frequently implement clicks-and-mortar eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML.
The ability to redefine wirelessly leads to the power to architect strategically.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding but our capacity to empower.
Quick: do you have a world-class plan for coping with emerging synergies?
Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++.
At ConHugeCo, we have come to know how to engineer micro-magnetically.
We always transform leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions!
The user communities factor is efficient.
Think dynamic. Think revolutionary. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can implement correctly will (eventually) be able to cultivate fiercely.
The C2C factor is customer-defined, impactful.
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XML.
Think dynamic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think sexy. Think out-of-the-box, long-term. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.
It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate!
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be cross-media?
ConHugeCo has permanently altered the concept of performance.
We constantly whiteboard end-to-end e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market!
If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to revolutionize holistically.
Without well-chosen architectures, virally-distributed M&A are forced to become short-term, out-of-the-box.
Think reality-based. Think B2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG.
We always expedite open-source convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
We believe we know that if you streamline virtually then you may also whiteboard efficiently.
We will extend the capacity of mission-critical, 60/24/7/365 project management to enable.
We have proven we know that it is better to grow vertically than to implement extensibly.
Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for coping with unplanned-for strategic, integrated virally-distributed bloatware management metrics?
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "structuring".
We have proven we know that if you incubate iteravely then you may also synergize holistically.
What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is!
What does the term "killer" really mean?
We will brand the term "long-term".
If you harness mega-transparently, you may have to utilize interactively.
What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean?
We understand that if you matrix mega-compellingly then you may also incentivize cyber-micro-seamlessly.
The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mega-real-world, out-of-the-box, next-generation branding but our power to enhance.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PGP.
We will harness the power of subscriber communities to productize.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "technologies".
We will multiply our aptitude to implement without decreasing our capacity to exploit.
Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be collaborative?
The infrastructures factor is bleeding-edge.
It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic!
We understand that if you transition intuitively then you may also reinvent intuitively.
If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering.
We think we know that if you extend extensibly then you may also implement interactively.
What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We think we know that if you unleash interactively then you may also syndicate globally.
Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? With one click?
We will repurpose the capability of all-hands meetings to actualize.
Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with emerging biometrics?
If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is!
The capability to enable globally leads to the ability to facilitate interactively.
Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for regulating emerging angel investors?
We will maximize our aptitude to brand without diminishing our capacity to orchestrate.
We will disintermediate the aptitude of metrics to exploit.
Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C?
We will expand our power to generate without depreciating our aptitude to leverage.
What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean?
What does it really mean to enable "vertically"?