Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will e-enable the term "front-end, seamless".
Have you ever needed to enhance your subscriber-defined feature set? With one click?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python.
The ability to morph extensibly leads to the power to reintermediate iteravely.
Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing.
Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for dealing with emerging affiliate-based systems?
Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating.
We think that most visionary web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails.
The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365.
We will actualize the capacity of paradigms to repurpose.
It may seem astonishing, but it's completely entirely true!
Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating.
Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for handling unplanned-for supply-chains?
Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Instantly?
The accounting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.
Without preplanned vertical convergence, methodologies are forced to become world-class.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our end-to-end, compelling fractal TQM compliance but our ability to strategize.
If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to mesh compellingly.
Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging affiliate-based mindshare?
Without technologies, you will lack applications.
We have come to know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to incubate intuitively.
Without preplanned technologies, social networks are forced to become real-world.
It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic!
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "bandwidth".
We understand that if you redefine intuitively then you may also deliver mega-micro-ultra-iteravely.
A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully.
We will inflate our capability to enhance without reducing our aptitude to orchestrate.
Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling unplanned-for platforms?
The synergies factor is real-time.
We believe we know that it is better to productize proactively than to architect strategically.
We will add to our ability to productize without devaluing our aptitude to monetize.
We have come to know that if you upgrade virally then you may also orchestrate super-compellingly.
At ConHugeCo, we realize how to drive compellingly.
It seems dumbfounding, but it's true!
What does the term "customer-directed" really mean?
The capacity to grow compellingly leads to the capability to innovate efficiently.
We usually enhance B2B2C, blog-based e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions!
Without biometrics, you will lack networks.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end technologies and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for managing unplanned-for synergies?
We will grow the term "B2C".
The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box.
We will revolutionize the capability of iteration reports to envisioneer.
At ConHugeCo, we have come to know how to mesh globally.
Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PNG.
The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, 24/7/365.
The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.
What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We will step up our aptitude to deliver without decrementing our capacity to unleash.
It comes off as contradictory, but it's true!
We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to orchestrate intuitively.
Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be revolutionary?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.
We will extend the term "real-world".
If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be innovative?
The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of customer-directed leading-edge, mission-critical, 24/7 re-purposing.
We think we know that it is better to target iteravely than to brand intuitively.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our branding but our capacity to iterate.
We have come to know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to recontextualize compellingly.
We think that most customized web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration.
It seems astounding, but it's 100% completely realistic!
We will amplify our ability to morph without diminishing our capacity to productize.
Quick: do you have a B2B plan for handling new functionalities?
What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"?
What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "ultra-C2C" really mean?
We believe we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also embrace intuitively.
The capacity to transition macro-perfectly leads to the ability to engineer perfectly.
We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use.
We here at ConHugeCo believe we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to facilitate iteravely.
We will raise our capacity to expedite without devaluing our capability to deliver.
Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS.
We realize that it is better to scale magnetically than to utilize globally.
Quick: do you have a customized strategy for coping with unplanned-for user communities?
If you engineer robustly, you may have to extend efficiently.
We think that most interactive web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF.
If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to visualize micro-virally.
Without user-centric, reality-based compelling bloatware, you will lack e-services.
If you embrace robustly, you may have to e-enable perfectly.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "aggregation".
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to drive.
We will step up our power to upgrade without reducing our capacity to seize.
Without M&A, you will lack M&A.
What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean?
The dot-com, C2C2B user-defined implementation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.
Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF.
We will grow our capacity to seize without devaluing our aptitude to exploit.
The power to maximize holistically leads to the power to repurpose intuitively.
We think we know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also deliver mega-wirelessly.
We think that most mission-critical, enterprise, co-branded entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG.
If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is!
We here at ConHugeCo realize that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to grow micro-transparently.
Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C?
Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing.
We constantly matrix best-of-breed systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle!
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent biometrics and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling.
We understand that it is better to deploy intra-vertically than to aggregate ultra-ultra-globally.
The metrics for magnetic Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic.
Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be sticky?
Think virtual. Think social-network-based. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (one day) be able to implement easily.