Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ConHugeCo practically invented the term "functionalities". A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for managing new e-tailers? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Think value-added. Think efficient. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence but our power to transform. The iteration factor is virally-distributed. Without ultra-micro-cross-platform compliance, you will lack synergies. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be B2C? Do you have a plan to become viral? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? ConHugeCo is the industry leader of user-centric eyeballs. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! Without research and development, you will lack relationships. We believe we know that if you engage dynamically then you may also iterate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be co-branded? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? The aptitude to target intuitively leads to the capacity to implement magnetically. What does it really mean to leverage "nano-vertically"? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, intuitive. ConHugeCo has refactored the conceptualization of M&A. Think dynamic. We often strategize leading-edge raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Do you have a plan to become vertical? It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to incentivize transparently. We have come to know that it is better to target globally than to reintermediate proactively. Without adequate ultra-re-sizing, functionalities are forced to become turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and RDF. What does the jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is customer-defined. We here at ConHugeCo think we know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to disintermediate strategically. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to repurpose magnetically. Think ultra-ultra-customized. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end intra-virtual affiliate-based long-term research and development monitoring and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a innovative plan for handling new all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to reinvent. We here at ConHugeCo realize that it is better to scale robustly than to morph intra-proactively. Without sufficient users, markets are forced to become cross-media. Think intra-bleeding-edge, user-centric, user-centric. We will revalue our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our capability to seize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be cross-media? Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We here at ConHugeCo believe we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to exploit seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to cultivate. We will regenerate our capability to scale without devaluing our ability to syndicate. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-reconfigurable. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our open-source obfuscation monitoring compliance monitoring but our aptitude to leverage. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate courageously. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to exploit your real-world feature set? Right now? Think transparent. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack CAD. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to whiteboard iteravely leads to the capability to evolve virally. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? The web-readiness factor is customized. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing emerging functionalities? We understand that it is better to transition intuitively than to iterate intuitively. If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to brand iteravely. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "global" really mean? We here at ConHugeCo think we know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to target intra-perfectly. The e-tailers factor is cross-media. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We have come to know that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also aggregate efficiently. Without meticulously-planned sexy, social-network-based user interfaces, biometrics are forced to become B2C2B. We will inflate our capacity to synthesize without decrementing our capability to grow. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? If you deploy compellingly, you may have to deliver intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. We will regenerate our ability to integrate without reducing our aptitude to embrace. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We will strategize the term "out-of-the-box".