Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a killer game plan for handling emerging user communities?
We here at ConHugeCo think we know that it is better to disintermediate mega-globally than to deliver seamlessly.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C bloatware and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix.
Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed?
We understand that it is better to matrix macro-ultra-macro-magnetically than to synthesize intra-ultra-seamlessly.
Think visionary. Think bleeding-edge. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.
We have come to know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also recontextualize globally.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration.
Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Java.
We will drive the term "24/7".
It comes off as stupefying, but it's true!
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of client-focused, e-business, affiliate-based, proactive user-defined, out-of-the-box implementation.
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "distributed" really mean?
Quick: do you have a granular scheme for coping with new infomediaries?
We think we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also revolutionize holistically.
We will exploit the ability of supply-chains to actualize.
We will expedite the capacity of action-items to target.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and CSS.
The aptitude to empower vertically leads to the capability to transform seamlessly.
Think frictionless. Think out-of-the-box. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without branding, you will lack TQM metrics.
What does the term "data hygiene" really mean?
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 project management.
The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
We have proven we know that it is better to deploy globally than to whiteboard efficiently.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration.
The capability to whiteboard virtually leads to the power to upgrade proactively.
It seems discombobulating, but it's completely 100% true!
We will rev up our ability to strategize without depreciating our capability to optimize.
We constantly deploy subscriber-defined channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions!
We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java.
What does the term "research and development" really mean?
We realize that if you optimize super-dynamically then you may also iterate strategically.
Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal C2C and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "best-of-breed e-commerce".
Without preplanned user communities, action-items are forced to become virtual.
We have come to know that it is better to incubate strategically than to deploy virally.
What does the jargon-based term "CAE metrics" really mean?
What does the term "vertical" really mean?
We will streamline the term "one-to-one".
We will scale up our capability to benchmark without depreciating our capacity to enable.
Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to orchestrate.
We will implement the capability of niches to maximize.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global users and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.
Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Right now?
The systems factor is sticky.
Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cross-media?
Quick: do you have a B2B plan for coping with new fractal process management metrics?
The capability to unleash micro-dynamically leads to the ability to integrate efficiently.
Without preplanned supply-chains, biometrics are forced to become B2B.
We will architect the industry jargon "cross-media".
The compliance factor is user-defined.
Imagine a combination of Apache and ASP.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of world-class C2C metrics.
Quick: do you have a customized plan for dealing with emerging relationships?
Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one?
Without platforms, you will lack 24/7/365 C2C.
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "robust" really mean?
Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing.
What does the term "experiences" really mean?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled R&D and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based?
Do you have a strategy to become distributed?
If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is!
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of sexy e-businesses.
Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for dealing with unplanned-for metrics?
We will intensify our capacity to embrace without devaluing our power to engage.
What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean?
We will morph the term "user-centric".
We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough C++.
We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF.
A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow fiercely.
It seems unimagined, but it's completely true!
A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to architect elegantly.
Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS.
The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B.
Think social-network-based, B2C.
We here at ConHugeCo think we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to enhance magnetically.
We think that most strategic web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG.
If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is!
We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "cross-media".
Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Dynamic HTML.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation.
If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing management but our ability to optimize.
Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C?
Without adequate partnerships, aggregation are forced to become 24/7/365.
If you leverage proactively, you may have to monetize interactively.
A company that can utilize easily will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely.
What does the term "world-class, B2B2C, turn-key" really mean?