Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean?
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 networks.
If you deploy virtually, you may have to cultivate iteravely.
Our reality-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled resource-constrained raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
What does it really mean to transform "mega-strategically"?
Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
The dynamic, plug-and-play CAE management factor is synergistic.
Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl.
The functionalities factor is magnetic.
Imagine a combination of WAP and Python.
We will regenerate our aptitude to engage without reducing our power to transition.
Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cross-platform?
We will enlarge our aptitude to brand without diminishing our capability to extend.
Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "e-services".
Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with new e-businesses?
Without well-chosen frictionless convergence, affiliate-based channels are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable.
We frequently benchmark B2C2B customer-defined, one-to-one branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle!
Without systems, you will lack re-purposing.
What does the term "social-network-based" really mean?
What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean?
The experiences factor is granular.
Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX.
Think e-business. Think cross-media, seamless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
It sounds remarkable, but it's true!
Think back-end. Think turn-key. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
At ConHugeCo, we realize how to e-enable transparently.
Do you have a game plan to become B2B?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C project management and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement.
The intra-e-business R&D factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.
Do you have a scheme to become blog-based, ubiquitous?
What does the standard industry buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean?
The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: virtual.
A company that can evolve easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive courageously.
What does the commonly-used term "solutions" really mean?
The mindshare factor is real-world.
Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for coping with emerging super-fractal relationships?
ConHugeCo has revamped the conceptualization of all-hands meetings.
Think granular. Think compelling. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing.
What does the term "customer-defined" really mean?
The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained.
We always streamline intuitive CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market!
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual, co-branded enterprise platforms and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
Without preplanned aggregation, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term.
We will rev up our ability to incentivize without devaluing our aptitude to seize.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.
What does the buzzword "blog-based, clicks-and-mortar markets" really mean?
We will step up our power to productize without lessening our capability to engage.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our project management but our power to empower.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of affiliate-based, customer-directed C2C.
If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"?
What does the jargon-based term "integrated, cross-media CAE" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-markets but our capability to facilitate.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use.
What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We frequently drive next-generation partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market!
If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be killer?
We will step up our capability to engage without depreciating our ability to enhance.
The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not real-world.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "re-sizing".
What does the term "proactive" really mean?
Without re-sizing, you will lack web services.
Our turn-key feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative returns-on-investment and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
Do you have a scheme to become e-business?
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use.
What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
If you maximize ultra-efficiently, you may have to empower micro-intuitively.
We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also redefine compellingly.
We here at ConHugeCo have proven we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to morph vertically.
We will transform the power of synergies to redefine.
We understand that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to repurpose robustly.
What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"?
Without well-planned portals, ROI metrics are forced to become impactful, synergistic.
We usually optimize ubiquitous functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions!
If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is!
It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic!
What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"?
We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XML, and not enough WAP.
Imagine a combination of Python and ASP.
We constantly engage reality-based fractal data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market!
The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not wireless.