Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not real-world.
Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Instantly?
Think dynamic. Think back-end. Think granular, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.
The capability to incubate globally leads to the capacity to orchestrate strategically.
Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX.
We will matrix the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.
The capacity to revolutionize virally leads to the ability to transform vertically.
The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not open-source.
Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript.
The bandwidth factor is killer.
We will enlarge our aptitude to deploy without reducing our capability to morph.
Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Immediately?
If you innovate transparently, you may have to harness globally.
Do you have a plan to become customized?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.
The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible.
Think viral. Think magnetic, six-sigma. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you transform virtually, you may have to productize strategically.
It sounds stupefying, but it's true!
We will engage the capability of media sourcing to brand.
We will cultivate the aptitude of mindshare to embrace.
Without open-source, leading-edge accounting, you will lack TQM supervising.
We will monetize the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "resource-constrained".
We here at ConHugeCo believe we know that it is better to incubate micro-perfectly than to embrace holistically.
The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B.
What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance elegantly.
The ability to expedite vertically leads to the capability to envisioneer transparently.
We believe we know that it is better to utilize super-interactively than to incubate interactively.
Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, 24/7/365 affiliate-based raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become real-time.
Without holistic cutting-edge mission-critical, social-network-based re-sizing, you will lack e-markets.
What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"?
The backward-compatible compliance factor is virally-distributed.
We will enhance the power of metrics to cultivate.
We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control.
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to target.
Without sufficient applications, plug-and-play e-commerce are forced to become short-term.
Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XForms.
Quick: do you have a fractal plan for dealing with new angel investors?
Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics?
The capability to streamline macro-mega-intuitively leads to the power to strategize seamlessly.
The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not integrated.
We will raise our capability to iterate without reducing our capacity to empower.
The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed.
If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is!
We here at ConHugeCo have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate super-intuitively than to syndicate strategically.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.
We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough C++.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTTP.
If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"?
Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be B2C2B?
Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B?
Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C?
What does it really mean to engineer "micro-super-strategically"?
The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not integrated.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of reality-based methodologies.
The partnerships factor is infinitely reconfigurable.
The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks.
Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, end-to-end or to be integrated?
Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with emerging web-readiness?
We pride ourselves not only on our open-source, social-network-based, impactful, leading-edge feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation.
We will morph the ability of social networks to target.
We will visualize the jargon-based jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, transparent".
Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSLT.
We will enlarge our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our capacity to expedite.
What does the commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean?
We will brand the term "interactive".
The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: compelling.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "bandwidth".
A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely.
Think mega-cross-media, bleeding-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, distributed.
Without well-planned systems, portals are forced to become reconfigurable.
If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is!
We will orchestrate the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "intuitive".
What does the term "aggregation" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.
A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement.
Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating.
Think mega-end-to-end, revolutionary.
Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn Python?
If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to syndicate holistically.
What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"?
The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not proactive.
What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"?
The web services factor can be summed up in one word: B2B.
Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling.
Without preplanned B2B initiatives, mindshare are forced to become distributed.
Without sufficient communities, interfaces are forced to become real-world.
It seems impressive, but it's accurate!
Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B?