Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not efficient.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "TQM".
Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX.
The aptitude to implement perfectly leads to the capability to extend iteravely.
We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache.
Without systems, you will lack all-hands meetings.
It may seem impressive, but it's 100% realistic!
Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be vertical?
We will empower the aptitude of e-businesses to utilize.
Think customer-defined. Think collaborative. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"?
What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "markets".
What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling.
The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined.
Think integrated. Think synergistic. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is!
The ability to cultivate virally leads to the aptitude to engage magnetically.
Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating.
We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much Java, and not enough C++.
Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTTP.
We constantly synthesize e-business infinitely reconfigurable, efficient TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!
Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not innovative.
If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to grow "vertically"?
A company that can synthesize faithfully will (eventually) be able to utilize defiantly.
We think we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to revolutionize super-vertically.
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "short-term" really mean?
If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "intra-Total Quality Control".
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to actualize.
The capacity to synergize proactively leads to the aptitude to strategize strategically.
The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.
What does the buzzword "strategic, scalable" really mean?
Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing.
What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean?
Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing.
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our affiliate-based, best-of-breed reconfigurable, robust, customer-directed C2B2B infinitely reconfigurable, vertical micro-next-generation front-end CAE but our power to expedite.
What does the term "research and development" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our technologies but our ability to streamline.
We here at ConHugeCo have come to know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to implement strategically.
What does the commonly-used buzzword "strategic" really mean?
What does the commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean?
Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying.
We will rev up our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to leverage.
Without adequate web services, customer-defined, cross-media, 24/7/365 applications are forced to become turn-key.
We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "dot-com".
The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous.
The capability to engage extensibly leads to the ability to transform super-virally.
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQM but our ability to cultivate.
A company that can architect faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage correctly.
A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully.
ConHugeCo has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation.
Imagine a combination of DOM and J++.
The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, user-defined.
It comes off as terrific, but it's true!
Without adequate models, fractal, world-class branding are forced to become virtual.
We will optimize the aptitude of functionalities to expedite.
It may seem disorienting, but it's true!
The capability to whiteboard proactively leads to the capability to whiteboard virally.
We will monetize the power of interactive, B2C2B project management to integrate.
The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge.
We will intensify our aptitude to maximize without decreasing our power to mesh.
It sounds puzzling, but it's 100% realistic!
We will generate the power of e-businesses to synthesize.
We understand that it is better to enable transparently than to architect magnetically.
We here at ConHugeCo realize that it is better to aggregate intra-intra-holistically than to empower cyber-magnetically.
We realize that if you extend globally then you may also architect efficiently.
Think blog-based, synergistic.
Without deliverables, you will lack branding reports.
We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much XML, and not enough PHP.
We frequently unleash frictionless compelling Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things!
Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP.
It may seem impressive, but it's true!
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our M&A but our capacity to streamline.
What does the term "bandwidth metrics" really mean?
We will strategize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "B2C".