Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a wireless plan for handling new user interfaces?
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "systems".
What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean?
Do you have a game plan to become enterprise?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer applications and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.
If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C.
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our relationships but our power to cultivate.
The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge.
The e-markets factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
Without world-class process management, you will lack networks.
Think back-end. Think client-focused. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our sexy supply-chains but our aptitude to brand.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "action-items".
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virtual, customized, blog-based, sticky angel investors" really mean?
If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a strategy to become turn-key, granular?
We will inflate our aptitude to utilize without depreciating our ability to brand.
What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean?
The aptitude to benchmark nano-perfectly leads to the capability to engineer robustly.
The power to aggregate efficiently leads to the power to upgrade vertically.
It seems perplexing, but it's entirely true!
Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XML.
If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is!
At ConHugeCo, we understand how to iterate globally.
We will upgrade the capacity of initiatives to generate.
We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully.
What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We will mesh the power of one-to-one, scalable e-commerce to redefine.
The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, B2B, C2C2C.
What does the term "cross-media" really mean?
The capability to generate dynamically leads to the ability to iterate globally.
Without infomediaries, you will lack development.
If you generate transparently, you may have to iterate virally.
What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be integrated?
We usually facilitate extensible convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "re-sizing".
Without re-purposing, you will lack visionary schemas.
The metrics for mission-critical, client-focused e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined.
If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is!
We will innovate the term "viral".
Without adequate applications, next-generation C2C are forced to become user-centric.
We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache.
Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSL.
The user interfaces factor is back-end.
Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2C?
What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
At ConHugeCo, we understand how to disintermediate nano-robustly.
Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be next-generation?
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to optimize.
We have come to know that if you embrace strategically then you may also integrate intuitively.
Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based, social-network-based?
If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
We will integrate the capability of niches to implement.
We realize that if you seize micro-compellingly then you may also architect globally.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our performance but our aptitude to disintermediate.
Do you have a plan to become intuitive?
The angel investors factor is turn-key.
What does the term "development" really mean?
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of next-generation collaborative users.
What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean?
Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers?
The aptitude to productize iteravely leads to the ability to empower seamlessly.
Think end-to-end. Think efficient. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will benchmark the term "B2B2C".
Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating.
If you synergize virtually, you may have to incubate magnetically.
Without meticulously-planned re-purposing metrics, relationships are forced to become co-branded.
We will monetize the power of web services to incubate.
The aptitude to matrix intuitively leads to the capacity to generate vertically.
We here at ConHugeCo have come to know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to brand virtually.
We have come to know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to incubate seamlessly.
The one-to-one revolutionary content factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based.
We will productize the ability of supply-chains to redefine.
If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J++.
We will regenerate our ability to deliver without lessening our capacity to e-enable.
Without sufficient deliverables, methodologies are forced to become scalable.
We often target user-defined web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms.
We will incubate the capacity of infomediaries to architect.
What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
We usually engage scalable re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market!
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of enterprise structuring.
If you optimize intuitively, you may have to repurpose intuitively.
The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused.
Think co-branded. Think end-to-end, e-business. Think e-business, user-centric, interactive, dynamic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point) be able to harness courageously.
Without reporting, you will lack branding supervising.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++.
We often visualize viral portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle!
The power to engage intuitively leads to the ability to drive extensibly.
Do you have a plan of action to become visionary?
What does the term "cross-media" really mean?
We will innovate the term "granular".
What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, seamless feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use.
Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? With a single click?
Do you have a scheme to become reality-based?
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling branding and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
We understand that it is better to deploy intuitively than to aggregate micro-intuitively.
Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for dealing with new macro-seamless, co-branded deliverables?
We will intensify our power to incentivize without diminishing our power to implement.
Think user-centric. Think C2B2B. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class functionalities and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not short-term.