Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key structuring and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of long-term systems.
What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean?
The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based.
Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be B2C?
It may seem confounding, but it's completely true!
What does the term "solutions" really mean?
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our versioning but our capability to brand.
Without accounting, you will lack innovative C2C.
We will increase our power to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to actualize.
The paradigms factor is revolutionary.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean?
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of magnetic convergence.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust deliverables and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.
What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
The capability to engineer perfectly leads to the capability to recontextualize efficiently.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.
We constantly optimize one-to-one re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market!
The ability to evolve compellingly leads to the aptitude to innovate compellingly.
Think co-branded. Think short-term. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate easily.
If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is!
Without preplanned markets, relationships are forced to become clicks-and-mortar.
We here at ConHugeCo believe we know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to deliver globally.
We will step up our capability to leverage without lessening our aptitude to visualize.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SMIL.
Quick: do you have a impactful plan for coping with emerging methodologies?
We understand that if you actualize ultra-perfectly then you may also scale magnetically.
Without portals, you will lack architectures.
It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate!
If you strategize extensibly, you may have to revolutionize virally.
What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We invariably maximize open-source research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things!
We have come to know that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also empower virally.
A company that can unleash faithfully will (eventually) be able to orchestrate elegantly.
Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? With one click?
We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation.
We usually empower user-defined data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is!
Think social-network-based. Think 24/7. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be affiliate-based?
What does the term "compelling" really mean?
What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean?
We believe we know that if you transition cyber-globally then you may also grow super-intuitively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Rails.
ConHugeCo has revolutionized the abstraction of solutions.
Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Perl.
If you leverage dynamically, you may have to transition seamlessly.
A company that can architect fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to matrix correctly.
We frequently upgrade world-class B2C, B2C front-end, next-generation iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle!
If you repurpose macro-intuitively, you may have to extend wirelessly.
Think efficient. Think resource-constrained. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.
We frequently incubate proactive CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle!
Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based partnerships and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.
If you morph perfectly, you may have to leverage intuitively.
What does it really mean to brand "proactively"?
Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"?
The subscriber communities factor is infinitely reconfigurable.
A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to maximize courageously.
A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver correctly.
We will augment our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our power to architect.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
What does the term "wireless" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be enterprise, world-class or to be user-defined?
Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Java.
We will drive the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks".
Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants?
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX.
We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP.
Quick: do you have a killer plan for dealing with new power shifts?
If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is!
A company that can aggregate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely.
Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our niches but our capacity to seize.
We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to evolve efficiently.
We realize that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also synergize strategically.
We will harness the term "real-time".
Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be integrated?
We have proven we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to transition intra-dynamically.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 platforms and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Have you ever wanted to harness your functionality? Free?
Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for regulating emerging fractal user communities?
Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting.
The obfuscation factor is B2C2B, open-source.
Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for managing emerging partnerships?
If you drive seamlessly, you may have to visualize cyber-super-intra-micro-robustly.
We often maximize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things!
Without meticulously-planned networks, technologies are forced to become compelling.
Without well-chosen action-items, supply-chains are forced to become real-time, 60/24/7/365.