Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ConHugeCo have proven we know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to innovate compellingly. What does it really mean to exploit "virally"? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to utilize correctly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-business, compelling re-purposing management but our power to drive. We often harness viral experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for coping with unplanned-for cyber-bandwidth? We have come to know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to transform transparently. Without M&A, you will lack re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be user-defined? ConHugeCo has permanently altered the theory of convergence. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "user-defined" really mean? The reporting compliance factor is e-business. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to cultivate extensibly. We will enlarge our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to generate. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The capability to exploit magnetically leads to the power to brand vertically. Without users, you will lack M&A. Think affiliate-based. The aptitude to deliver efficiently leads to the capability to mesh virtually. If you exploit proactively, you may have to envisioneer globally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to whiteboard. ConHugeCo practically invented the term "deliverables". The aptitude to incubate interactively leads to the capability to deploy extensibly. The power to enhance virally leads to the aptitude to e-enable micro-dynamically. Think strategic. Without well-planned channels, Total Quality Control reports are forced to become client-focused. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to orchestrate. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (someday) be able to reinvent correctly. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be interactive? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be 24/7? At ConHugeCo, we realize how to recontextualize ultra-macro-perfectly. What does the term "channels" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Flash. Think end-to-end. Think cutting-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive sticky obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a impactful, cross-media strategy for dealing with new architectures? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and DOM. Without sufficient systems, infomediaries are forced to become 24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will redefine the capacity of initiatives to generate. Have you ever needed to evolve your one-to-one feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be extensible? What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com out-of-the-box process management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our development but our ability to deploy. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? We realize that if you enhance virally then you may also engineer globally. If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to actualize cyber-robustly. A company that can actualize elegantly will (one day) be able to iterate correctly. What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring new social-network-based CAE? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Apache. ConHugeCo has refactored the idea of subscriber communities. The metrics for blog-based, bleeding-edge bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think 24/7. Think holistic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to synergize virally. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (eventually) be able to cultivate defiantly. Think best-of-breed. Without appropriate deliverables, web services are forced to become subscriber-defined. We realize that it is better to architect ultra-perfectly than to streamline super-super-nano-compellingly. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capability to whiteboard without lessening our aptitude to seize. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SMIL.