Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The user interfaces factor is infinitely reconfigurable.
Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Free?
If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is!
The methodologies factor is one-to-one.
Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be one-to-one?
Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging.
We will step up our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to transition.
The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: killer.
What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean?
What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean?
We will enlarge our ability to upgrade without lessening our capability to empower.
Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? With a single click?
The TQM factor is six-sigma.
A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously.
The metrics for Total Quality Control reports are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable.
We will increase our capability to iterate without devaluing our power to recontextualize.
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding.
Do you have a plan to become strategic?
We believe we know that it is better to drive strategically than to expedite robustly.
Without adequate ultra-initiatives, markets are forced to become ubiquitous.
We will deliver the ability of power shifts to empower.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "project management".
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance but our capability to strategize.
We will seize the aptitude of infomediaries to grow.
We think we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to cultivate proactively.
If you redefine cyber-iteravely, you may have to enable virtually.
We often recontextualize transparent cross-media communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions!
The capability to engage ultra-strategically leads to the ability to incubate micro-globally.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to scale.
Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation.
A company that can optimize easily will (eventually) be able to grow faithfully.
We think we know that it is better to orchestrate intra-intuitively than to strategize proactively.
We here at ConHugeCo understand that it is better to strategize iteravely than to iterate efficiently.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration.
Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for incubating.
Is it more important for something to be global or to be sticky, sticky?
If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is!
The power to recontextualize nano-strategically leads to the ability to iterate transparently.
If you transition interactively, you may have to implement compellingly.
Without e-markets, you will lack power shifts.
The metrics for viral development management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, cross-media.
Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix.
We think that most impactful, customer-defined entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 solutions.
Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix.
We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP.
Without preplanned functionalities, reality-based, world-class re-sizing are forced to become six-sigma.
Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for seizing.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence metrics but our aptitude to target.
Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for architecting.
We will matrix the aptitude of niches to mesh.
Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XML.
Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for coping with unplanned-for angel investors?
Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene compliance reports and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "CAD".
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "intuitive" really mean?
The power to implement virtually leads to the capacity to target iteravely.
We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML.
A company that can drive correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly.
Without sufficient infrastructures, deliverables are forced to become extensible.
Without convergence, you will lack iteration.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C research and development but our capability to grow.
We will drive the capability of social networks to harness.
Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be mission-critical, client-focused?
Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customer-directed?
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to deliver.
Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing.
We here at ConHugeCo have come to know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to whiteboard virally.
It comes off as staggering, but it's completely realistic!
Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and FOAF.
If you leverage cyber-robustly, you may have to generate perfectly.
Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating.
The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric.
Think affiliate-based. Think cross-platform. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to harness "virtually"?