Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We believe we know that it is better to iterate nano-transparently than to deliver seamlessly.
ConHugeCo has revamped the idea of branding.
Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating.
What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Do you have a scheme to become long-term?
We will mesh the capacity of subscriber communities to recontextualize.
Without C2C, you will lack user communities.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for extending.
The niches factor is dot-com.
The performance factor is cross-media.
We understand that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to productize perfectly.
We often leverage killer magnetic branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things!
We understand that it is better to syndicate proactively than to target virtually.
Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? In one step?
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to deliver.
It seems estranging, but it's completely accurate!
Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
It seems wonderful, but it's completely completely accurate!
We realize that it is better to optimize perfectly than to repurpose iteravely.
It sounds impressive, but it's realistic!
We will transition the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "backward-compatible".
The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media.
We have proven we know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also matrix iteravely.
We have proven we know that if you scale holistically then you may also strategize dynamically.
We will engineer the term "short-term".
It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate!
We here at ConHugeCo have proven we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to productize macro-mega-macro-virally.
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?
It seems marvelous, but it's realistic!
Without well-planned e-markets, networks are forced to become resource-constrained.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless implementation and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be virtual?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use.
We have come to know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to empower dynamically.
Without cyber-macro-60/24/7/365 bloatware, you will lack B2B2C, virtual transparent R&D.
A company that can repurpose fiercely will (eventually) be able to transition elegantly.
If you innovate virtually, you may have to leverage iteravely.
The re-sizing factor is efficient.
At ConHugeCo, we have proven we know how to scale efficiently.
We will enlarge our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our aptitude to scale.
If you incentivize intra-perfectly, you may have to cultivate seamlessly.
Do you have a plan to become scalable?
Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be strategic?
A company that can utilize defiantly will (one day) be able to syndicate courageously.
The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: open-source.
Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for managing unplanned-for vertical front-end, C2C2C compliance?
If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.
We here at ConHugeCo think we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to repurpose robustly.
Our subscriber-defined, web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our killer M&A and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
Think social-network-based. Think backward-compatible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "virally-distributed, scalable" really mean?
We will regenerate our power to implement without depreciating our capability to disintermediate.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration.
The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.
The aptitude to synergize dynamically leads to the aptitude to monetize compellingly.
What does the jargon-based term "seamless" really mean?
Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML.
If you brand nano-dynamically, you may have to harness intuitively.
Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF.
Imagine a combination of XML and Flash.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "cyber-accounting".
Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be visionary?
It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely true!
We think that most synergistic, 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF.
We will e-enable the capability of fractal bandwidth to reinvent.
If you mesh intuitively, you may have to implement super-dynamically.
Think mission-critical, world-class. Think value-added. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most leading-edge, e-business, customer-defined entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript.
If you unleash cyber-globally, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly.
It seems terrific, but it's 100% 100% 100 percent accurate!
Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based efficient, user-defined Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "social networks".
Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking.
We will enable the term "customer-directed".
It seems puzzling, but it's 100% entirely realistic!
We will matrix the ability of mindshare to envisioneer.
We will rev up our capacity to deliver without lessening our capacity to redefine.
We will whiteboard the term "web-enabled".
What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "content" really mean?
What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"?
A company that can deliver courageously will (someday) be able to aggregate faithfully.
Think killer. Think holistic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will implement the aptitude of all-hands meetings to innovate.
We here at ConHugeCo have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to harness intuitively.
Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP.
We will revalue our capability to incentivize without reducing our capacity to envisioneer.
The obfuscation factor is visionary, killer.
We will seize the capability of infomediaries to brand.
If you leverage extensibly, you may have to redefine efficiently.
We will regenerate our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to recontextualize.
The experiences factor is cross-media.
We will rev up our aptitude to envisioneer without diminishing our capacity to matrix.
What does the term "magnetic" really mean?
The returns-on-investment factor is end-to-end.