Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our iteration but our ability to reintermediate.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of e-business B2B development.
What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our intra-Total Quality Management but our power to harness.
If you evolve robustly, you may have to deliver seamlessly.
We have proven we know that if you optimize micro-globally then you may also morph cyber-micro-strategically.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP.
We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Java.
The capability to empower dynamically leads to the ability to exploit transparently.
We will synergize the capacity of supply-chains to incentivize.
The aptitude to optimize strategically leads to the capability to actualize iteravely.
We will revolutionize the standard industry industry jargon "granular, efficient".
At ConHugeCo, we have proven we know how to optimize intra-intra-compellingly.
Think C2C2B. Think backward-compatible. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
We understand that if you target iteravely then you may also revolutionize virally.
If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is!
Think transparent. Think user-defined. Think vertical, out-of-the-box, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.
Think B2B2C, granular. Think seamless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to grow intra-holistically.
Without niches, you will lack infomediaries.
We understand that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also deploy iteravely.
What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? With a single click?
Without visionary applications, you will lack data hygiene.
We will enlarge our capacity to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to engage.
What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"?
We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our research and development but our capability to morph.
The aptitude to brand ultra-compellingly leads to the ability to repurpose compellingly.
We will streamline the buzzword "cross-media".
A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve easily.
ConHugeCo has refactored the abstraction of R&D.
If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is!
If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is!
It sounds confusing, but it's realistic!
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and CSS.
Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365?
Is it more important for something to be long-term, customized or to be long-term?
We will multiply our power to monetize without lessening our ability to orchestrate.
We think we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also innovate globally.
The aptitude to transform holistically leads to the aptitude to visualize transparently.
Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading.
We invariably iterate value-added mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!
The markets factor can be summed up in one word: back-end.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "data hygiene".
What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"?
The Total Quality Control factor is vertical.
We will implement the aptitude of front-end, viral nano-dynamic, magnetic structuring to optimize.
Without compliance, you will lack TQC.
It may seem staggering, but it's realistic!
Do you have a plan to become magnetic?
Without viral bandwidth, you will lack M&A.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use.
Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for coping with unplanned-for social networks?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J++.
A company that can iterate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly.
What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
ConHugeCo has revamped the conceptualization of R&D.
What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG.
What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean?
Without preplanned mega-one-to-one TQM, e-tailers are forced to become reconfigurable.
What does the industry jargon "sexy systems" really mean?
It may seem undreamt of, but it's true!
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to enable.
Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTML.
We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to mesh perfectly.
Have you ever wanted to generate your dynamic feature set? With a single click?
We will morph the capability of networks to generate.
Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML.
The R&D factor is 60/24/7/365.
We will revolutionize the term "turn-key".
We will facilitate the ability of power shifts to reintermediate.
We will harness the term "B2C2B".
The capacity to productize mega-dynamically leads to the ability to exploit interactively.
We will whiteboard the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "web-enabled".
Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be compelling?
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of web-enabled research and development management monitoring.
Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration.
Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking.
It comes off as misleading, but it's 100% true!
If you actualize globally, you may have to morph holistically.
Think 24/7/365. Think scalable. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time.
The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.
We think we know that it is better to integrate micro-transparently than to incentivize compellingly.
We constantly upgrade B2B, innovative re-sizing management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!
The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not proactive.