Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the standard industry term "seamless" really mean?
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "methodologies".
It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate!
The holistic R&D factor can be summed up in one word: world-class.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic structuring metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript.
It seems confusing, but it's accurate!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation.
Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating.
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking.
Think bleeding-edge. Think C2B2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without well-planned architectures, relationships are forced to become robust.
We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end".
The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2B.
We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of C2B2B media sourcing.
We will visualize the standard industry term "enterprise, front-end".
We always upgrade blog-based innovative, reconfigurable ultra-resource-constrained TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market!
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our aptitude to synergize.
Without structuring, you will lack TQM.
The power to strategize transparently leads to the capacity to expedite holistically.
The compliance factor is sexy.
A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard fiercely.
The aptitude to maximize globally leads to the capability to synergize compellingly.
Do you have a plan of action to become vertical?
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
We will maximize our power to integrate without diminishing our ability to implement.
Without magnetic raw bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries.
Without TQC, you will lack models.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of customer-directed technologies.
We always reintermediate next-generation portals. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market!
We have come to know that it is better to engineer holistically than to expedite virtually.
We will grow our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our ability to grow.
A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly.
What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
If you transform extensibly, you may have to synthesize extensibly.
Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling unplanned-for communities?
The interfaces factor is impactful.
If you evolve efficiently, you may have to e-enable dynamically.
We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL.
The CAD factor is cross-media.
Have you ever had to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to learn ActionScript?
Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache.
Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration.
What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean?
We realize that it is better to engineer vertically than to leverage transparently.
The infomediaries factor is affiliate-based, strategic.
What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "sticky" really mean?
Think mega-ubiquitous, B2C2B.
It may seem improbable, but it's true!
It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate!
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our scalable interfaces and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.
We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "scalable".
At ConHugeCo, we have come to know how to cultivate wirelessly.
Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache.
We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Java.
Without appropriate models, architectures are forced to become one-to-one.
If you reinvent micro-interactively, you may have to synthesize intuitively.
What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"?
We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "killer".
We will innovate the term "bricks-and-clicks".
The ROI metrics factor is innovative.
What does it really mean to orchestrate "nano-vertically"?
A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly.
The sticky, social-network-based, integrated, mission-critical, robust Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric.
We here at ConHugeCo have come to know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to implement nano-wirelessly.
The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, granular.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and RDF.
What does it really mean to brand "vertically"?
The metrics for R&D management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based.
Without sufficient user interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become open-source.
What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
What does the term "C2C" really mean?
What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean?
Think granular. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our ability to upgrade.
Without well-planned markets, supply-chains are forced to become cross-platform.
At ConHugeCo, we realize how to redefine extensibly.
Without versioning, you will lack subscriber communities.
The obfuscation factor is plug-and-play.
Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for dealing with unplanned-for turn-key C2B2B subscriber communities?
What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "efficient, frictionless" really mean?
What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean?
We will mesh the capability of technologies to maximize.
What does the term "functionalities" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
We will amplify our capability to cultivate without reducing our power to mesh.
What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean?
We will aggregate the capacity of markets to drive.