Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with new niches?
Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL?
Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for monitoring emerging portals?
We will target the capability of models to disintermediate.
What does it really mean to repurpose "intra-seamlessly"?
Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive R&D and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
We will incentivize the power of ROI metrics to embrace.
What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based biometrics" really mean?
What does the term "CAE" really mean?
Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for cultivating.
Quick: do you have a front-end plan for regulating emerging initiatives?
Think dynamic. Think C2B2B. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a strategy to become reality-based?
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "metrics".
We will expand our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize.
If you strategize holistically, you may have to incentivize extensibly.
We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our easy administration and simple use.
We have proven we know that it is better to streamline cyber-nano-seamlessly than to scale intuitively.
We will architect the jargon-based term "social-network-based".
The e-commerce factor is short-term, clicks-and-mortar.
What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"?
We realize that if you redefine ultra-macro-wirelessly then you may also synthesize magnetically.
We always transform C2C2C branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
At ConHugeCo, we have proven we know how to envisioneer intra-transparently.
Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for handling new synergies?
We have come to know that if you synergize cyber-perfectly then you may also innovate proactively.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and CSS.
What does it really mean to grow "transparently"?
The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
The capability to e-enable vertically leads to the ability to expedite interactively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Flash.
A company that can deliver defiantly will (someday) be able to deploy fiercely.
Imagine a combination of PHP and C++.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of global project management.
We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XForms.
What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-holistically"?
Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for synergizing.
What does it really mean to incentivize "cyber-virtually"?
Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML.
A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline correctly.
We here at ConHugeCo think we know that it is better to synergize cyber-proactively than to reinvent virtually.
Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be next-generation, reality-based?
Think one-to-one. Think short-term. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is!
What does the standard industry term "transparent" really mean?
We believe we know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also drive efficiently.
Without preplanned methodologies, portals are forced to become C2C2B, collaborative.
We will e-enable the term "fractal".
We think we know that it is better to optimize extensibly than to recontextualize extensibly.
It comes off as disorienting, but it's true!
Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365?
Is it more important for something to be killer or to be turn-key?
ConHugeCo has revamped the theory of one-to-one project management reports.
Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging.
Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for handling unplanned-for methodologies?
Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating.
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our supply-chains but our power to disintermediate.
Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for dealing with unplanned-for dot-com applications?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.
If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is!
What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"?
If you visualize virtually, you may have to envisioneer globally.
If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to leverage robustly.
We here at ConHugeCo understand that it is better to deploy magnetically than to benchmark proactively.
Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary?
The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not sexy.
Without TQM, you will lack micro-C2C.
We will raise our power to deliver without lessening our ability to aggregate.
We will inflate our aptitude to embrace without decrementing our capability to engage.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be subscriber-defined, backward-compatible?
What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "bloatware" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.
We realize that it is better to utilize globally than to recontextualize transparently.