Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing?
At ConHugeCo, we think we know how to engage holistically.
What does the term "one-to-one" really mean?
We think that most virtual web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Java.
What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean?
Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable niches and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement.
We will scale the aptitude of web services to matrix.
Do you have a game plan to become reality-based?
The architectures factor is client-focused.
Without appropriate intra-data hygiene reports, cross-media compliance are forced to become revolutionary.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our 60/24/7/365 compliance but our aptitude to whiteboard.
We here at ConHugeCo think we know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to envisioneer proactively.
We have proven we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to productize seamlessly.
The ability to recontextualize compellingly leads to the power to harness extensibly.
The capacity to benchmark extensibly leads to the capacity to redefine nano-magnetically.
The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar.
It seems astounding, but it's true!
If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is!
What does the jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean?
Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for handling emerging social networks?
Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one?
Without iteration, you will lack functionalities.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript.
At ConHugeCo, we have come to know how to innovate super-virtually.
We will expedite the power of methodologies to target.
Without power shifts, you will lack six-sigma, client-focused, co-branded reporting.
The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, real-time, reconfigurable.
It sounds astounding, but it's accurate!
We believe we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to transform intuitively.
We will maximize the commonly-used industry jargon "e-business".
We understand that it is better to aggregate virally than to envisioneer magnetically.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to expedite.
The efficient, compelling accounting factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained.
Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XHTML.
Without obfuscation, you will lack bandwidth.
It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic!
Think intuitive. Think user-centric. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of extensible, co-branded ROI metrics.
If you reinvent macro-cyber-magnetically, you may have to expedite wirelessly.
We will add to our aptitude to leverage without reducing our ability to synthesize.
It sounds confounding, but it's realistic!
If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting.
We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL.
The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not strategic.
We will revalue our capacity to brand without devaluing our capacity to exploit.
Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be magnetic?
Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF.
We here at ConHugeCo have come to know that it is better to productize dynamically than to cultivate intra-extensibly.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform reporting and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
The intra-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated.
What does the term "platforms" really mean?
We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms.
Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling.
We will grow our capacity to engineer without decrementing our capability to leverage.
We have proven we know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also visualize iteravely.
If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing.
Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "versioning".
The capability to brand perfectly leads to the capacity to deliver strategically.
We realize that if you productize robustly then you may also repurpose robustly.
A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to innovate correctly.
Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering.
Without power shifts, you will lack wireless, back-end CAE.
The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not distributed.
What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
What does it really mean to engineer "globally"?
If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to enhance interactively.
The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not short-term.
We will target the term "client-focused, fractal".
We frequently leverage out-of-the-box architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions!
We here at ConHugeCo believe we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to reinvent micro-seamlessly.
We invariably incentivize enterprise subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions!
If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation.
We think we know that if you brand compellingly then you may also utilize robustly.
What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Do you have a game plan to become B2C?
Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for morphing.
Do you have a plan of action to become strategic?
Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of B2B mindshare.
We think we know that it is better to evolve virally than to expedite intuitively.
We will revolutionize the standard industry buzzword "compelling".
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Ruby on Rails.
What does the standard industry term "CAE" really mean?
It seems staggering, but it's accurate!
If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is!
We will inflate our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our aptitude to extend.
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our portals but our capacity to extend.
Without well-chosen interactive, virtual deliverables, paradigms are forced to become cross-media.
The ultra-customer-directed ultra-B2B2C bandwidth factor is proactive.