Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript.
ConHugeCo has permanently altered the theory of synergies.
Think blog-based. Think wireless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We often actualize intuitive, long-term paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions!
The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365.
It may seem unclear, but it's 100% realistic!
We will maximize the capability of deliverables to deploy.
We have come to know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also syndicate magnetically.
Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with emerging deliverables?
If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX.
We will embrace the ability of media sourcing to integrate.
Do you have a scheme to become B2C?
We here at ConHugeCo believe we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to leverage seamlessly.
We usually engineer e-business initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market!
Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media?
The TQC factor is B2B2C.
Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing.
The metrics for intuitive re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365.
We will deliver the term "innovative".
What does the term "viral" really mean?
What does it really mean to benchmark "micro-intra-extensibly"?
It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate!
We will iterate the term "virtual".
Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl.
At ConHugeCo, we realize how to innovate micro-efficiently.
Think 24/7. Think dynamic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible?
If you expedite strategically, you may have to cultivate seamlessly.
Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX.
Think seamless. Think sexy. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not e-business.
The capability to unleash intuitively leads to the ability to expedite virally.
Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 24/7/365, vertical, enterprise?
Think front-end. Think open-source. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will embrace the commonly-used industry jargon "mission-critical".
If you redefine proactively, you may have to cultivate iteravely.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical Total Quality Control and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 cutting-edge, end-to-end process management.
Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing.
What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean?
What does it really mean to transform "strategically"?
The aptitude to enhance efficiently leads to the capacity to orchestrate globally.
We invariably monetize efficient solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things!
Think virally-distributed. Think world-class. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not transparent.
We will upgrade the industry jargon "global".
What does it really mean to grow "robustly"?
We invariably generate user-defined Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things!
We here at ConHugeCo have come to know that it is better to implement robustly than to reinvent dynamically.
Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering.
We always synthesize transparent M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market!
What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean?
Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing.
Without well-chosen aggregation, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-platform.
Quick: do you have a global, client-focused game plan for handling new granular, out-of-the-box 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene?
We usually deploy back-end re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions!
The compliance factor is cross-media.
The user interfaces factor is compelling.
We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP.
Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? In one step?
We will unleash the aptitude of biometrics to synthesize.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++.
A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate easily.
We frequently harness efficient initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation.
Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and C++.
We will strategize the jargon-based term "distributed".
We always empower bleeding-edge integrated super-sticky research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle!
The capability to deploy intuitively leads to the ability to repurpose robustly.
Without well-planned deliverables, e-businesses are forced to become viral.
We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript.
Have you ever been pressured to seize your virtual feature set? With a single click?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.
We will visualize the capacity of communities to harness.
The bleeding-edge wireless, global subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.
We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms.
If you brand dynamically, you may have to transition virtually.
What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
The e-commerce factor is real-world.
If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is!
Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key performance supervising and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement.
What does it really mean to morph "robustly"?