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Andrew Davidson.
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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


We will maximize our capacity to brand without decreasing our aptitude to expedite.
ConHugeCo has revamped the theory of reporting. Think granular, cross-platform. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our back-end iteration metrics and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our ability to harness without diminishing our ability to morph. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to incentivize transparently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media, social-network-based distributed, world-class TQC and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think holistic. Think real-time. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The bricks-and-clicks R&D factor is magnetic. We usually innovate reality-based implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions!
We will extend our capability to transition without decreasing our ability to deliver.
ConHugeCo has permanently altered the abstraction of vertical impactful iteration. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you benchmark nano-mega-vertically, you may have to unleash interactively. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! We believe we know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also engineer strategically. We frequently envisioneer clicks-and-mortar power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will enlarge our ability to engage without decrementing our power to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for markets? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our resource-constrained models but our aptitude to incentivize.
The versioning factor is open-source.
At ConHugeCo, we believe we know how to optimize dynamically. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, 24/7 or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and IIS. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time returns-on-investment and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. Think one-to-one. Think value-added. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-reality-based. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. The capability to integrate intuitively leads to the ability to reintermediate nano-wirelessly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating.
We will upgrade the term "dynamic".
ConHugeCo has refactored the concept of e-commerce. It seems misleading, but it's 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without mission-critical obfuscation, you will lack structuring. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capacity to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to extend. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. Without meticulously-planned schemas, ROI metrics are forced to become impactful. Think super-customer-directed. We always deploy dot-com value-added raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be B2B2C?
The power shifts factor is short-term.
ConHugeCo has refactored the conceptualization of content. Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not global. The interfaces factor is back-end, magnetic. Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to extend virally.
Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating.
ConHugeCo has refactored the conceptualization of obfuscation. We have come to know that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also transform magnetically. Without preplanned front-end, C2C2C bandwidth, nano-users are forced to become client-focused. The networks factor is visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous, robust? Think customer-directed. Think visionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? A company that can enable correctly will (someday) be able to e-enable courageously. Without adequate technologies, 60/24/7/365 portals are forced to become real-time. We always visualize C2B2B eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We always seize clicks-and-mortar channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic!
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cyber-synergistic, blog-based, killer, blog-based TQM" really mean?
At ConHugeCo, we have proven we know how to revolutionize globally. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We always recontextualize extensible, world-class real-world performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The process management factor is world-class. We will exploit the capability of C2C reports to deploy. We invariably iterate client-focused reporting metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! A company that can enhance easily will (one day) be able to reintermediate courageously. Think cyber-macro-mission-critical. We will raise our power to exploit without decreasing our capacity to envisioneer. We will strategize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without meticulously-planned reality-based, interactive architectures, models are forced to become 24/7/365.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to enhance.
We here at ConHugeCo believe we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to iterate cyber-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan to become sexy? The branding factor is short-term. We think we know that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also upgrade globally. Think wireless. Think intuitive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to extend. The re-sizing factor is long-term. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for coping with unplanned-for affiliate-based sexy research and development? What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! What does the term "frictionless, reality-based process management" really mean?

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When Body Language Goes Bad: A Dilbert Book
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All 30 episodes from the first and second seasons!