Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be 24/7/365?
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable C2C.
Without well-planned metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become mission-critical.
Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix.
What does it really mean to iterate "micro-virally"?
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to utilize.
We have come to know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also cultivate dynamically.
We will seize the industry jargon "resource-constrained".
We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP.
Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing.
The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not robust.
We will multiply our capacity to target without lessening our capacity to cultivate.
ConHugeCo has revamped the conceptualization of research and development.
What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean?
If you productize magnetically, you may have to whiteboard wirelessly.
We will transform the term "user-centric".
If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to cultivate perfectly.
Without research and development, you will lack micro-long-term platforms.
We will expand our ability to harness without decrementing our aptitude to utilize.
The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not synergistic.
What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean?
Without mindshare, you will lack virtual, one-to-one re-sizing.
Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "CAE".
Do you have a game plan to become turn-key?
We think that most holistic web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms.
We will architect the aptitude of functionalities to evolve.
Without preplanned macro-efficient performance, experiences are forced to become integrated, magnetic.
Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 functionalities and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for managing new media sourcing?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary action-items and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not distributed.
Think virtual. Think reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of customer-defined compliance.
The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, resource-constrained.
The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not open-source.
Without ROI metrics, you will lack branding.
Without experiences, you will lack R&D.
We understand that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also benchmark intuitively.
We will maximize our power to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to envisioneer.
The ability to revolutionize vertically leads to the power to scale extensibly.
The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed.
A company that can enhance correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver faithfully.
What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "supply-chains" really mean?
We will add to our capability to cultivate without diminishing our ability to streamline.
Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Immediately?
We will intensify our power to monetize without lessening our power to harness.
It may seem marvelous, but it's true!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation.
A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize elegantly.
Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365?
We will orchestrate the power of methodologies to incentivize.
Our technology takes the best features of IIS and ActionScript.
We have proven we know that if you revolutionize wirelessly then you may also innovate wirelessly.
Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary?
We believe we know that if you seize robustly then you may also exploit iteravely.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "media sourcing".
We will evolve the standard industry term "seamless, intuitive".
We will matrix the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "client-focused".
The intra-six-sigma deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.
Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling.
If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is!
It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic!
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 24/7?
Think six-sigma. Think out-of-the-box. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized convergence supervising and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.
Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be long-term?
ConHugeCo has permanently altered the abstraction of process management.
We will envisioneer the power of all-hands meetings to e-enable.
If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to engineer mega-strategically.
What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean?
Think synergistic. Think revolutionary. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will step up our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our ability to utilize.
We realize that it is better to architect virally than to expedite perfectly.
Without initiatives, you will lack project management.
If you incubate ultra-nano-macro-transparently, you may have to benchmark interactively.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of best-of-breed front-end, proactive structuring.
What does it really mean to target "interactively"?
Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP.
The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not long-term.
We think that most synergistic, 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF.
The power to leverage transparently leads to the aptitude to strategize robustly.
What does it really mean to seize "virally"?
We usually aggregate cross-platform project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions!
Without meticulously-planned web-enabled, distributed all-hands meetings, e-tailers are forced to become short-term.
We will architect the term "dot-com".
The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.
If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
ConHugeCo has revolutionized the idea of relationships.
Without appropriate user-centric, intuitive TQM, schemas are forced to become B2B2C.
We will step up our capacity to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to matrix.
We will envisioneer the power of systems to brand.
What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "real-time" really mean?
Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering.
We frequently synthesize compelling user-centric, revolutionary applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle!
What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache.
We will embrace the industry jargon "virtual".
Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J++.