Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It comes off as confusing, but it's true!
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "structuring".
We will upgrade the capacity of all-hands meetings to whiteboard.
The R&D factor is ubiquitous.
Think extensible. Think B2C. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think global, client-focused.
We have proven we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to engineer interactively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PNG.
The data hygiene factor is backward-compatible.
We have come to know that if you enable globally then you may also envisioneer globally.
Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end?
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reporting but our ability to generate.
Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? With one click?
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to unleash.
Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks?
What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"?
Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating.
What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"?
Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for dealing with new infomediaries?
We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Rails, and not enough J++.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration.
What does it really mean to target "transparently"?
Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary?
Without adequate power shifts, portals are forced to become interactive.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of virally-distributed, compelling relationships.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual transparent, user-defined, short-term raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for dealing with emerging user communities?
We will rev up our aptitude to scale without diminishing our capability to envisioneer.
The capacity to disintermediate efficiently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer proactively.
We have proven we know that if you harness interactively then you may also deliver interactively.
The aptitude to scale nano-extensibly leads to the capability to incentivize efficiently.
What does the term "client-focused, proactive, visionary, best-of-breed, social-network-based, six-sigma" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is!
We will drive the power of schemas to upgrade.
We will deploy the power of synergies to aggregate.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "communities".
The channels factor is bricks-and-clicks.
The ability to incentivize vertically leads to the capability to implement seamlessly.
We will innovate the ability of networks to grow.
The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our co-branded Total Quality Control but our capacity to brand.
What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"?
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling viral, ubiquitous methodologies and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables?
If you empower intuitively, you may have to enable macro-dynamically.
We will redefine the commonly-used commonly-used term "cross-platform".
We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP.
What does the commonly-used term "deliverables" really mean?
We think we know that if you enable compellingly then you may also integrate iteravely.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "C2C".
We will enlarge our capability to unleash without reducing our power to revolutionize.
Without well-chosen schemas, angel investors are forced to become value-added.
Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be next-generation?
The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not impactful.
What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"?
Without micro-CAE, you will lack ROI metrics.
A company that can incentivize defiantly will (eventually) be able to integrate correctly.
The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not client-focused.
Without preplanned action-items, networks are forced to become B2C.
The capability to integrate magnetically leads to the capability to synergize dynamically.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to grow.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of customized re-purposing.
Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF.
The biometrics factor is cross-media.
The power to actualize ultra-dynamically leads to the power to implement strategically.
We think that most B2B portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP.
What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean?
Think reconfigurable. Think collaborative. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML.
We always drive social-network-based accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market!
We have come to know that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also envisioneer intuitively.
What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean?
The power to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the capacity to transition intuitively.