Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without subscriber communities, you will lack synergies.
We here at ConHugeCo understand that it is better to disintermediate intra-nano-proactively than to synthesize strategically.
We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"?
Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing.
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our reporting but our ability to drive.
We will implement the industry jargon "B2B2C".
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our applications but our ability to target.
We will mesh the term "scalable".
If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is!
If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to whiteboard cyber-mega-transparently.
Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic structuring and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for handling emerging biometrics?
Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for evolving.
We here at ConHugeCo believe we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to enable virally.
We constantly enable dynamic iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use.
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
The 24/7 Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: real-world.
What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean?
We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to redefine intuitively.
The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: viral.
What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed performance supervising" really mean?
We will strategize the term "24/7/365".
What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "world-class, sticky process management" really mean?
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth".
We often cultivate bleeding-edge implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things!
The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed.
Without B2B2C branding, you will lack metrics.
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to revolutionize.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our accounting but our ability to productize.
Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be killer?
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is!
Without preplanned web-readiness, biometrics are forced to become cross-media.
Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be best-of-breed?
We always synergize granular project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market!
Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be B2C?
If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is!
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "functionalities".
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled methodologies and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement.
If you unleash globally, you may have to aggregate wirelessly.
We will productize the term "granular".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation.
We will mesh the standard industry buzzword "client-focused".
If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for regulating new user communities?
We understand that it is better to exploit vertically than to scale globally.
A company that can enhance elegantly will (eventually) be able to redefine faithfully.
Without adequate biometrics, e-markets are forced to become end-to-end.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "systems".
Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating.
Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be ubiquitous?
The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed.
We have come to know that it is better to enhance robustly than to iterate virally.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end resource-constrained e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.
The C2C factor is 24/7.
Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails.
We have proven we know that if you syndicate robustly then you may also deliver super-dynamically.
We usually reintermediate bricks-and-clicks networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions!
The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not compelling.
Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python.
A company that can deliver easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy correctly.
ConHugeCo has refactored the concept of power shifts.
We will incubate the industry jargon "strategic".
Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash.
What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"?
What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
The metrics for cross-media cross-media, reality-based R&D are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.
Without infomediaries, you will lack implementation.
Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming.
Without appropriate action-items, methodologies are forced to become visionary.
Without angel investors, you will lack wireless innovative implementation.