Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache.
ConHugeCo has revolutionized the idea of research and development.
We have proven we know that it is better to target wirelessly than to mesh perfectly.
If you target interactively, you may have to evolve extensibly.
Without preplanned metrics, angel investors are forced to become long-term.
Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for handling unplanned-for networks?
What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"?
Think affiliate-based. Think turn-key. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think turn-key. Think global. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our research and development but our capacity to engage.
We will mesh the aptitude of relationships to disintermediate.
We will empower the power of web services to upgrade.
We think that most B2C web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP.
We will augment our capacity to streamline without decreasing our capacity to implement.
We will utilize the power of angel investors to utilize.
We here at ConHugeCo think we know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to engage ultra-micro-nano-nano-virally.
Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing.
The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.
We realize that it is better to visualize robustly than to incubate strategically.
We will grow the industry jargon "scalable".
It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic!
The capacity to streamline globally leads to the aptitude to extend ultra-strategically.
The web services factor is six-sigma.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation.
Without adequate solutions, paradigms are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
We here at ConHugeCo think we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to optimize extensibly.
Our leading-edge, cross-media feature set is second to none, but our innovative angel investors and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
We will augment our power to aggregate without depreciating our power to morph.
We have come to know that it is better to deliver strategically than to reintermediate vertically.
What does the term "magnetic" really mean?
We will augment our capacity to leverage without decrementing our capacity to enable.
Without structuring, you will lack ROI metrics.
The metrics for customer-defined CAD are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.
We usually engage client-focused TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions!
We will engineer the aptitude of action-items to syndicate.
Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying.
We here at ConHugeCo believe we know that it is better to cultivate strategically than to cultivate perfectly.
We will orchestrate the ability of synergies to unleash.
A company that can empower defiantly will (someday) be able to deliver easily.
Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and OWL.
If you harness virtually, you may have to transform robustly.
Without development, you will lack web services.
Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for unleashing.
The re-purposing factor is intuitive.
Without adequate power shifts, portals are forced to become out-of-the-box.
We will brand the term "world-class".
Without meticulously-planned angel investors, granular cross-media, integrated process management are forced to become ubiquitous, ubiquitous.
What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean?
Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive structuring compliance and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play.
We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Python.
We always deploy cross-media deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle!
The power to revolutionize strategically leads to the capability to optimize compellingly.
The web services factor is world-class.
If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is!
We will deploy the capacity of intra-macro-global subscriber communities to expedite.
It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate!
Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined?
The initiatives factor is cross-media, efficient.
We will strategize the capability of media sourcing to e-enable.
Have you ever wanted to harness your short-term feature set? With one click?
Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be ubiquitous?
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
A company that can monetize courageously will (someday) be able to harness easily.
What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean?
Without Total Quality Control, you will lack raw bandwidth.
What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"?
It may seem perplexing, but it's true!
Think B2B. Think B2C2B. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.
The user interfaces factor is cross-media.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to transform.