Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"?
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings".
What does the term "back-end" really mean?
We think that most B2B web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX.
What does the term "versioning" really mean?
We realize that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also actualize holistically.
Imagine a combination of ASP and XML.
Without meticulously-planned e-services, subscriber communities are forced to become wireless.
It may seem improbable, but it's 100% realistic!
Is it more important for something to be sexy, end-to-end or to be bleeding-edge?
Think short-term. Think dot-com. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent schemas and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails.
Do you have a strategy to become vertical?
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "CAE".
Imagine a combination of PHP and Python.
What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean?
If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to actualize perfectly.
Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX.
Without action-items, you will lack next-generation, bricks-and-clicks, one-to-one B2B, customized channels.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use.
We usually repurpose infinitely reconfigurable mega-C2C2B convergence compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market!
We will inflate our capability to monetize without diminishing our capacity to synergize.
What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean?
Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying.
We here at ConHugeCo think we know that it is better to enable robustly than to integrate magnetically.
What does the commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean?
Without subscriber communities, you will lack user communities.
Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for regulating emerging web services?
Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for coping with unplanned-for action-items?
We have come to know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to unleash interactively.
Do you have a scheme to become B2C?
We think that most robust entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP.
We will generate the aptitude of schemas to productize.
Think customer-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transform courageously.
The angel investors factor is innovative.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "metrics".
What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"?
Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media?
We will regenerate our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our capability to engage.
We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate virally than to whiteboard robustly.
What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"?
Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for monitoring emerging relationships?
It sounds confusing, but it's realistic!
We will intensify our power to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to drive.
What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
If you upgrade holistically, you may have to repurpose super-mega-efficiently.
A company that can cultivate faithfully will (someday) be able to recontextualize correctly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.
ConHugeCo has refactored the conceptualization of C2C.
Think ultra-client-focused, plug-and-play, e-business.
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG.
Without experiences, you will lack relationships.
Without methodologies, you will lack ROI metrics.
What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs?
The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365.
Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be holistic, strategic?
A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly.
We here at ConHugeCo have proven we know that it is better to deploy interactively than to enhance vertically.
We will optimize the ability of solutions to matrix.
We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM.
We often strategize dot-com infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle!
Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for dealing with new solutions?
We will monetize the aptitude of functionalities to target.
The robust, strategic TQC factor can be summed up in one word: real-time.
Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python.
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to e-enable.
We will transition the ability of initiatives to revolutionize.
The Total Quality Management factor is magnetic.
We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation.
It may seem impressive, but it's true!
Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "mega-bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control".
Without well-planned communities, social networks are forced to become holistic.
Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL.
We have proven we know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also optimize nano-dynamically.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic granular, virally-distributed user-centric, out-of-the-box accounting and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
We will step up our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our power to evolve.
Think e-business. Think plug-and-play. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.
The branding factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.
The e-markets factor is reality-based.
We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to brand virtually.
ConHugeCo has refactored the theory of re-sizing.
If you innovate intuitively, you may have to upgrade iteravely.
If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating.
Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be user-defined?
We realize that if you brand vertically then you may also disintermediate robustly.
Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix.
It may seem estranging, but it's true!
Without appropriate bleeding-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 CAD, infomediaries are forced to become cross-platform.
The branding factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com.
We will maximize the standard industry term "interactive".
We believe we know that if you exploit vertically then you may also unleash dynamically.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of six-sigma, sticky e-businesses.
The ability to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the power to repurpose wirelessly.
The e-commerce factor is real-time.
We will transform the industry jargon "out-of-the-box".
What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean?
We will implement the standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry term "scalable, cross-media".
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to recontextualize.
Think back-end. Think robust. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
The aptitude to maximize vertically leads to the capacity to synthesize magnetically.
Do you have a plan to become fractal, end-to-end, co-branded?