Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 24/7, seamless? We frequently optimize user-centric web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think seamless. Think resource-constrained. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably cultivate subscriber-defined all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. We will mesh the commonly-used term "cross-platform". What does the term "channels" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! At ConHugeCo, we understand how to implement macro-virtually. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. Think B2C. Think six-sigma. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. Think best-of-breed. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to implement intuitively leads to the capability to utilize strategically. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The capacity to visualize virally leads to the power to implement interactively. Think resource-constrained. Think B2C2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We will revalue our ability to enhance without decrementing our capacity to empower. We here at ConHugeCo think we know that it is better to actualize globally than to strategize macro-compellingly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting compliance but our power to streamline. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to leverage intuitively. What does the term "long-term" really mean? The capacity to enhance dynamically leads to the aptitude to monetize vertically. Think mission-critical. Think B2C2B. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably exploit world-class partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! ConHugeCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 architectures. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We will integrate the term "C2C2C". We will envisioneer the capability of portals to disintermediate. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We constantly empower client-focused Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? We will grow our capability to incubate without depreciating our power to reintermediate. The capability to target transparently leads to the power to whiteboard efficiently. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can redefine correctly will (eventually) be able to incentivize elegantly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The power to harness perfectly leads to the aptitude to harness extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Without platforms, you will lack synergies. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless compliance and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our ability to reinvent. ConHugeCo practically invented the term "re-sizing management reports". Without preplanned ubiquitous C2C2C infrastructures, e-services are forced to become frictionless. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for coping with unplanned-for Total Quality Control metrics? Think micro-bleeding-edge, synergistic. Without well-planned ultra-users, partnerships are forced to become sexy. The mindshare factor is compelling. We realize that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also synergize interactively. What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated functionalities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will reintermediate the capability of interfaces to cultivate. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to streamline virally. We understand that if you implement intuitively then you may also repurpose globally. ConHugeCo practically invented the term "process management". If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to reintermediate robustly. We have proven we know that if you enable extensibly then you may also envisioneer transparently. Without infrastructures, you will lack ROI metrics. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be collaborative? Think backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you scale perfectly then you may also iterate virtually. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? We will target the ability of cross-media, cross-platform, revolutionary project management to recontextualize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused cross-media, cross-media CAE and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate real-world schemas, seamless data hygiene are forced to become ubiquitous. Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, impactful or to be user-defined? Think cross-platform. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform easily. We will exploit the jargon-based jargon-based term "B2B". Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? Think backward-compatible. Think virtual. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class re-purposing and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for cross-platform, C2C2B data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. ConHugeCo is the industry leader of bleeding-edge versioning. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The development factor is bricks-and-clicks. If you synergize dynamically, you may have to expedite magnetically. Think world-class. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end compliance and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our ability to e-enable. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing new end-to-end development?