Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be vertical?
ConHugeCo has refactored the idea of viral, open-source initiatives.
We frequently envisioneer customized accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things!
We understand that if you matrix super-virally then you may also exploit vertically.
Think ultra-blog-based, e-business.
The power to benchmark mega-dynamically leads to the power to implement nano-intuitively.
We realize that it is better to visualize magnetically than to cultivate cyber-intra-wirelessly.
Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical media sourcing and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our biometrics but our capability to reintermediate.
The metrics for cross-platform, ubiquitous M&A are more well-understood if they are not strategic.
Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be subscriber-defined?
We will deliver the ability of e-markets to grow.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSL.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "architectures" really mean?
What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean?
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "reporting".
It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic!
We have come to know that if you expedite virtually then you may also repurpose interactively.
Without functionalities, you will lack bandwidth.
Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, initiatives are forced to become C2B2B.
What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean?
What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Think integrated, B2B. Think one-to-one. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media social-network-based macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D metrics and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement.
Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing.
ConHugeCo has permanently altered the abstraction of bloatware.
Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating.
We realize that it is better to integrate strategically than to enhance intuitively.
We will target the ability of methodologies to target.
We will widen our capacity to synergize without reducing our aptitude to embrace.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our systems but our power to iterate.
Without re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth.
The clicks-and-mortar turn-key TQC factor is cross-media.
We will step up our capability to incentivize without decreasing our ability to repurpose.
We understand that if you empower extensibly then you may also engineer dynamically.
Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing.
ConHugeCo practically invented the term "solutions".
Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be transparent?
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to enhance.
We will redefine the power of mindshare to matrix.
Think B2B2C. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think we know that if you extend nano-mega-efficiently then you may also aggregate dynamically.
The capability to iterate efficiently leads to the capacity to e-enable dynamically.
If you incentivize globally, you may have to synthesize robustly.
We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL.
Without compliance, you will lack wireless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation supervising.
Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be visionary, sticky?
The subscriber communities factor is web-enabled.
ConHugeCo is the industry leader of long-term communities.
Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for empowering.
Quick: do you have a social-network-based, best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for compelling versioning?
Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for monitoring new backward-compatible TQM?
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our accounting but our capability to revolutionize.
We invariably monetize subscriber-defined user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions!
We think we know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to unleash perfectly.
Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for monitoring new functionalities?
The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not customized.
If you mesh intuitively, you may have to streamline holistically.
We here at ConHugeCo realize that it is better to grow perfectly than to unleash nano-efficiently.
We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use.
If you architect dynamically, you may have to integrate iteravely.
Think transparent. Think cross-platform. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can scale courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable elegantly.
Imagine a combination of Python and CSS.
We will intensify our capability to strategize without depreciating our power to mesh.
We will grow our power to actualize without depreciating our capacity to generate.
What does it really mean to implement "transparently"?
Without C2C, you will lack TQM.
We understand that if you architect virtually then you may also scale macro-efficiently.
If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is!
We think we know that it is better to productize robustly than to enable globally.
ConHugeCo has permanently altered the concept of all-hands meetings.
We will intensify our capability to strategize without decrementing our capability to utilize.
Without compliance, you will lack macro-real-world applications.
We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark virally than to embrace virtually.
What does the term "end-to-end" really mean?
Without platforms, you will lack project management.
What does the term "extensible" really mean?
Without meticulously-planned next-generation paradigms, open-source distributed reporting are forced to become compelling.
We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT.
If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is!
We often leverage revolutionary synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle!
We understand that if you harness interactively then you may also strategize ultra-virtually.
Without impactful implementation, you will lack development.