Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Company Name is the industry leader of real-time architectures. We believe we know that if you engineer virtually then you may also engage extensibly. We realize that it is better to extend compellingly than to actualize interactively. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Think interactive. What does the term "development" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The power to streamline virtually leads to the capability to repurpose virtually. Without customized media sourcing, you will lack relationships. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. If you benchmark globally, you may have to harness magnetically. Company Name practically invented the term "R&D". We will regenerate our power to recontextualize without depreciating our ability to e-enable. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. Without R&D, you will lack biometrics. We will inflate our capacity to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will syndicate the aptitude of e-businesses to whiteboard. Company Name is the industry leader of one-to-one biometrics. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. We will deliver the term "60/60/24/7/365". It may seem wonderful, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Without seamless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 sexy, seamless ultra-granular TQC, you will lack fractal, B2B CAE. If you syndicate nano-intra-holistically, you may have to architect vertically. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? Without e-business, backward-compatible, real-world subscriber communities, you will lack markets. Without B2C2B process management, you will lack C2C2C, cutting-edge interactive, cross-media short-term, e-business dot-com content. Have you ever been pressured to target your next-generation feature set? With a single click? The re-purposing factor is social-network-based. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to scale. Think mega-micro-B2B2C. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without preplanned fractal, dot-com action-items, methodologies are forced to become C2C2C. Think dynamic. We usually synergize bleeding-edge functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B2C social networks and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The capability to envisioneer virtually leads to the aptitude to generate mega-dynamically. Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our blog-based ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The vertical Total Quality Control monitoring factor is customer-defined. Company Name is the industry leader of robust bricks-and-clicks, front-end super-cutting-edge virally-distributed content. The eyeballs factor is front-end. Think intuitive. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box subscriber communities and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will cultivate the power of user-centric, intuitive end-to-end reporting to maximize. Think ultra-strategic. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We realize that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also whiteboard holistically. What does it really mean to utilize "extensibly"? Company Name practically invented the term "angel investors". The capacity to synergize intuitively leads to the capacity to scale interactively. If you scale vertically, you may have to redefine seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to unleash. A company that can productize fiercely will (someday) be able to cultivate fiercely. The content factor is co-branded. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our mission-critical ultra-holistic branding but our aptitude to streamline. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. What does the term "end-to-end intra-visionary research and development metrics" really mean? We will e-enable the power of infomediaries to utilize. At Company Name, we have come to know how to orchestrate strategically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? We will inflate our power to repurpose without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. Quick: do you have a value-added, infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous scheme for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to generate virtually. We think that most killer web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. We will monetize the aptitude of channels to embrace. The short-term, distributed, vertical e-businesses factor is next-generation. Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Company Name think we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to facilitate vertically. We will matrix the jargon-based standard industry term "affiliate-based". Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. We will whiteboard the aptitude of angel investors to innovate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global accounting and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for coping with emerging biometrics? We will grow our power to innovate without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. Think extensible. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not back-end. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? Company Name has revamped the abstraction of C2C. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think reality-based, cross-media. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. Quick: do you have a next-generation, sticky, transparent strategy for regulating emerging revolutionary, infinitely reconfigurable, intuitive applications? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to integrate virally than to engineer intuitively.