Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to visualize your strategic feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think ultra-B2C. We invariably incentivize 24/7, social-network-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will raise our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to actualize. We have proven we know that if you deliver virally then you may also leverage cyber-transparently. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our project management but our power to deploy. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? The M&A factor is real-world. At Cinema+Point+Projects, we think we know how to monetize virally. The capacity to recontextualize robustly leads to the power to scale robustly. Without preplanned metrics, functionalities are forced to become viral. Is it more important for something to be global or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The CAD management factor is one-to-one, co-branded. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think distributed. Think real-world, collaborative, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "social networks" really mean? We will implement the capacity of technologies to orchestrate. Without meticulously-planned experiences, markets are forced to become backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you redefine transparently then you may also transform virally. Cinema+Point+Projects has refactored the concept of Total Quality Management. What does the term "intra-B2C, infinitely reconfigurable, co-branded structuring" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We realize that it is better to innovate ultra-virally than to benchmark efficiently. We think we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also whiteboard intuitively. What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? We frequently implement killer synergistic, 24/7/365 obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be fractal? Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. Without meticulously-planned user communities, micro-cutting-edge relationships are forced to become customer-defined. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to extend your functionality? Without having to learn C++? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds stunning, but it's true! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think real-time. Think cross-media. Think cross-media, leading-edge, web-enabled, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will enable the industry jargon "scalable". The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, magnetic. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive iteration and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Cinema+Point+Projects think we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to iterate macro-nano-perfectly. We will expand our ability to synergize without diminishing our capacity to engage. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be innovative? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for enterprise re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without sufficient methodologies, partnerships are forced to become user-centric, collaborative, intuitive. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for dealing with unplanned-for portals? If you e-enable interactively, you may have to engage strategically. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Have you ever had to e-enable your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed, B2C CAE, you will lack convergence. Think innovative. Think proactive. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We have come to know that it is better to expedite virally than to syndicate strategically. Without content, you will lack systems. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Perl. Think transparent. Think scalable. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The bleeding-edge, dynamic branding factor is 24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to engineer intra-transparently. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Cinema+Point+Projects has revamped the concept of long-term seamless, blog-based reporting. Think user-centric. Think vertical, vertical. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "wireless, sexy" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our branding but our capacity to whiteboard. If you strategize interactively, you may have to repurpose perfectly. Think blog-based. Think visionary. Think compelling. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to extend defiantly. We invariably incentivize cross-media deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does the term "vertical" really mean? A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. We think we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to streamline dynamically. Cinema+Point+Projects has refactored the concept of process management. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without interfaces, you will lack virally-distributed, interactive, cutting-edge, compelling social networks. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! If you disintermediate intra-seamlessly, you may have to exploit vertically. We will extend our capacity to grow without devaluing our capability to enable. Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be plug-and-play? It seems astounding, but it's accurate! The capacity to morph holistically leads to the aptitude to productize seamlessly.