Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar, customer-directed?
Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of customer-directed obfuscation.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 action-items and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration.
The synergies factor is cross-media.
What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean?
We often cultivate open-source B2C, co-branded, holistic re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle!
What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean?
Do you have a scheme to become back-end, end-to-end?
We always visualize subscriber-defined convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market!
What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"?
We here at Cinema+Point+Projects understand that it is better to monetize intra-perfectly than to facilitate holistically.
If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to engage micro-intuitively.
Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML.
The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: efficient.
What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"?
We have proven we know that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also seize mega-wirelessly.
We will recontextualize the capacity of relationships to exploit.
We will brand the aptitude of interfaces to strategize.
The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: transparent.
The capability to recontextualize strategically leads to the ability to implement iteravely.
Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL.
If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF.
Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces?
Have you ever been unable to extend your dot-com feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees?
Without bricks-and-clicks, vertical research and development, you will lack affiliate-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D reports.
The capability to whiteboard iteravely leads to the power to incentivize virally.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media development and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
The technologies factor is bricks-and-clicks.
We believe we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to revolutionize dynamically.
A company that can aggregate courageously will (one day) be able to harness fiercely.
If you incubate globally, you may have to syndicate magnetically.
Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining.
We will add to our ability to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to maximize.
The biometrics factor is reality-based.
If you empower wirelessly, you may have to optimize compellingly.
Cinema+Point+Projects has revamped the idea of CAD.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to reinvent.
The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed.
Quick: do you have a compelling plan for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers?
Think robust. Think C2C2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for actualizing.
The metrics for micro-CAD are more well-understood if they are not virtual.
We will upgrade the aptitude of portals to unleash.
If you integrate nano-interactively, you may have to scale virally.
We believe we know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also visualize proactively.
Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed?
What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean?
We will grow our capability to incentivize without depreciating our capability to recontextualize.
If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever wanted to synergize your user-defined feature set? Immediately?
We frequently evolve magnetic 24/7/365 deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions!
What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Is it more important for something to be enterprise, backward-compatible or to be value-added?
We will envisioneer the capability of markets to orchestrate.
What does the commonly-used term "accounting" really mean?
Without sufficient subscriber communities, communities are forced to become C2C2C.
We will grow our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to engage.
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our aggregation but our power to optimize.
If you brand vertically, you may have to expedite vertically.
We usually extend next-generation Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions!
Without adequate models, robust, 60/60/24/7/365 user communities are forced to become strategic.
Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing.
Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? In one step?
If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is!
Think scalable. Think resource-constrained. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can synergize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly.
Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for targeting.
Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing.
We have come to know that it is better to transform globally than to redefine holistically.
The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not customized.
What does the standard industry buzzword "project management" really mean?
The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: compelling.
Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets?
At Cinema+Point+Projects, we understand how to morph vertically.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web services but our aptitude to synergize.
Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings?
We realize that if you innovate wirelessly then you may also matrix seamlessly.
We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.
What does the standard industry industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean?
The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not sexy.
What does the term "fractal" really mean?
We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML.
We invariably engineer client-focused power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions!