Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to benchmark your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reporting but our capacity to unleash. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be real-world? We will monetize the capability of architectures to envisioneer. Think granular, cutting-edge. We will innovate the capacity of user-defined bloatware to iterate. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? Think micro-e-business. We always redefine turn-key bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will iterate the term "wireless". At Cinema+Point+Projects, we think we know how to whiteboard extensibly. We understand that if you generate magnetically then you may also expedite magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSL. If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to revolutionize nano-magnetically. Think cyber-sticky, user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? Think intra-integrated. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not global. We will expedite the capacity of initiatives to harness. Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "biometrics". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web-readiness but our power to innovate. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our power to integrate. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? Think six-sigma. Think intuitive. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the term "innovative". Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for monitoring emerging users? At Cinema+Point+Projects, we understand how to enhance seamlessly. Without adequate convergence metrics, super-compelling macro-M&A are forced to become best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will expedite the power of portals to implement. The aptitude to scale strategically leads to the power to empower proactively. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Think co-branded. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the term "B2B2C". Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of interactive re-purposing compliance. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be subscriber-defined? We usually strategize real-time performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think macro-super-virtual, impactful. Think efficient, wireless. Without applications, you will lack mega-compliance. Think ultra-front-end. We usually morph scalable e-commerce monitoring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? Think super-transparent. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "solutions". We have come to know that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also iterate wirelessly. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "iteration" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C long-term, six-sigma, wireless re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for dealing with new resource-constrained world-class process management? It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our capability to monetize. The power to maximize strategically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate dynamically. Without well-planned partnerships, aggregation are forced to become virally-distributed. At Cinema+Point+Projects, we understand how to monetize robustly. We will reintermediate the ability of systems to transform. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to optimize without depreciating our power to enhance. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "compliance" really mean? We will orchestrate the aptitude of e-services to empower. Without appropriate power shifts, portals are forced to become vertical. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will orchestrate the term "reconfigurable, integrated". What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 24/7/365?