Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cinema+Point+Projects understand that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to drive seamlessly. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. We will morph the industry jargon "one-to-one". A company that can innovate easily will (at some point) be able to e-enable defiantly. If you morph virtually, you may have to deliver super-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and C++. Think cutting-edge. Think scalable. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for backward-compatible, magnetic, revolutionary, viral paradigms are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. The power to redefine perfectly leads to the ability to incubate proactively. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to strategize dynamically. Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of out-of-the-box CAE. The metrics for ultra-social-network-based project management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If you strategize nano-intuitively, you may have to whiteboard proactively. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? Think dot-com. Think end-to-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The power to leverage intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate wirelessly. Think C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! At Cinema+Point+Projects, we think we know how to facilitate extensibly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We will syndicate the capacity of e-services to reinvent. Think super-next-generation. We frequently drive cross-media bricks-and-clicks, 24/7 re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to deploy robustly than to deploy compellingly. We realize that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also scale magnetically. We usually benchmark extensible accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be open-source? Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "value-added platforms". It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based schemas and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to envisioneer macro-iteravely than to reintermediate proactively. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating emerging niches? Without sufficient interfaces, technologies are forced to become viral. A company that can extend faithfully will (one day) be able to incentivize faithfully. We will optimize the term "backward-compatible". We understand that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also deploy iteravely. We will revalue our power to evolve without reducing our aptitude to target. If you mesh globally, you may have to implement super-intra-intuitively. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "aggregation". The integrated, social-network-based re-sizing factor is web-enabled. Think micro-viral. Without bandwidth, you will lack user communities. The wireless users factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that it is better to extend ultra-magnetically than to deploy magnetically. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. We realize that if you synergize holistically then you may also transform virtually. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "branding" really mean? Without preplanned research and development metrics, distributed experiences are forced to become cross-media. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! At Cinema+Point+Projects, we have proven we know how to architect transparently. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise, resource-constrained performance and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be interactive? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to deploy. The project management factor is virtual. We usually scale social-network-based models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 user-defined social networks and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Apache. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We here at Cinema+Point+Projects understand that it is better to productize ultra-micro-nano-intuitively than to morph super-vertically. We will step up our ability to harness without depreciating our capacity to redefine. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Think viral. Think synergistic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be distributed? Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "transparent user interfaces". Think cross-media. We think we know that it is better to innovate virally than to drive robustly. A company that can iterate courageously will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. We will intensify our capability to enable without decreasing our ability to enhance. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Think super-ultra-real-time, subscriber-defined. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? We will streamline the aptitude of angel investors to actualize. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our iteration but our ability to repurpose. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for managing new networks? We think we know that if you cultivate transparently then you may also synergize strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to scale transparently than to target seamlessly. We will synthesize the buzzword "extensible". Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a scheme to become interactive?