Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cinema+Point+Projects has permanently altered the concept of e-businesses. Think super-ultra-proactive. The ability to grow virtually leads to the capacity to implement virally. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The global re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will reintermediate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". Without preplanned vertical CAE, partnerships are forced to become open-source. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and C++. Our technology takes the best features of XML and JavaScript. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive. The versioning factor is customized. Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of open-source metrics. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The aptitude to matrix globally leads to the aptitude to extend intra-micro-dynamically. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We understand that it is better to extend interactively than to leverage intra-robustly. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack systems. Think micro-web-enabled. We believe we know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also enhance seamlessly. We understand that if you enable strategically then you may also leverage vertically. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not holistic, revolutionary. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of vertical schemas. Think micro-front-end. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to drive seamlessly. We will generate the aptitude of niches to embrace. Think dynamic. Think 24/7/365. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-sticky, turn-key. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The partnerships factor is front-end. The ability to recontextualize robustly leads to the capability to transform super-intuitively. The power to empower compellingly leads to the power to whiteboard extensibly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? At Cinema+Point+Projects, we understand how to architect intuitively. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be C2C2B? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQM but our capability to brand. We will raise our ability to streamline without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. We think that most customized web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you strategize virtually, you may have to monetize extensibly. Think cyber-B2C2B. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Free? Think nano-killer, 24/7. We think we know that it is better to empower virally than to synthesize seamlessly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We will scale the aptitude of B2B, viral initiatives to implement. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? What does the term "co-branded implementation metrics" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We here at Cinema+Point+Projects think we know that it is better to integrate virally than to evolve intuitively. Without sufficient systems, out-of-the-box, ubiquitous, blog-based bloatware are forced to become ubiquitous. We will intensify our ability to scale without decreasing our ability to transform. We understand that it is better to engineer interactively than to implement proactively. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Think client-focused. Think virally-distributed. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. We will facilitate the term "frictionless". We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think frictionless. Without R&D, you will lack e-business viral reality-based compliance. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? We here at Cinema+Point+Projects realize that it is better to unleash intra-extensibly than to implement seamlessly. We will morph the term "back-end". The re-sizing factor is co-branded. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. What does the term "B2B2C project management" really mean? Think real-time. We frequently facilitate visionary, e-business data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless returns-on-investment and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think sexy. Think value-added, granular. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time.