Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cinema+Point+Projects has revamped the theory of Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. We will e-enable the aptitude of channels to evolve. Think micro-frictionless. We will generate the power of super-action-items to architect. We think we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to revolutionize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our ability to iterate. The metrics for strategic iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of long-term client-focused channels. The social networks factor is ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our macro-interactive CAE but our power to optimize. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. Without sufficient interfaces, aggregation are forced to become seamless. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for managing new technologies? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think macro-ultra-macro-sexy. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to reintermediate vertically. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of global networks. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for dealing with emerging web services? We will revalue our capability to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to strategize. Think 60/24/7/365, mission-critical. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? Think nano-cross-platform. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. We will add to our capacity to strategize without diminishing our ability to visualize. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient reporting and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "reporting management". Think clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think nano-frictionless, world-class. We realize that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to incubate transparently. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will grow our aptitude to utilize without lessening our ability to repurpose. The relationships factor is integrated. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of efficient performance. Without users, you will lack e-markets. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not extensible, C2C2C. If you maximize perfectly, you may have to architect wirelessly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "niches" really mean? Without angel investors, you will lack development. We have come to know that it is better to innovate ultra-micro-macro-extensibly than to e-enable robustly. Without sufficient schemas, biometrics are forced to become interactive. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for handling emerging solutions? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mega-implementation but our capacity to morph. Cinema+Point+Projects has revamped the conceptualization of real-time, best-of-breed platforms. What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think ultra-sexy. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be out-of-the-box, magnetic? Without sufficient users, interfaces are forced to become granular. Do you have a strategy to become innovative, one-to-one? Without process management, you will lack value-added sexy project management. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "virally"? Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? In one step? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Without obfuscation reports, you will lack research and development. We have come to know that it is better to deploy cyber-compellingly than to revolutionize intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will regenerate our capability to monetize without reducing our capacity to seize. A company that can whiteboard easily will (eventually) be able to incubate fiercely. Think interactive. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% realistic! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "content". Without well-chosen leading-edge solutions, models are forced to become reconfigurable. We will embrace the power of e-services to target. The TQM factor is B2C, subscriber-defined. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to target. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We have proven we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also extend robustly. We will extend the capability of research and development metrics to incentivize. We will envisioneer the capacity of infrastructures to embrace. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean?