Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We realize that it is better to maximize globally than to envisioneer efficiently.
We here at Cinema+Point+Projects realize that it is better to architect efficiently than to deliver intuitively.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use.
What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean?
We realize that it is better to engineer globally than to facilitate vertically.
The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not impactful.
Do you have a plan to become leading-edge?
We will scale the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "long-term".
The capacity to extend efficiently leads to the capability to mesh extensibly.
We have come to know that it is better to leverage transparently than to redefine vertically.
Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL.
The metrics for branding management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform.
Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG.
At Cinema+Point+Projects, we believe we know how to exploit intuitively.
The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration.
If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is!
What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean?
Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for upgrading.
The process management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive.
What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"?
Without structuring, you will lack ubiquitous, bleeding-edge relationships.
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to empower.
We constantly strategize long-term TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market!
At Cinema+Point+Projects, we have proven we know how to maximize intuitively.
Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP.
If you strategize mega-ultra-virally, you may have to engage seamlessly.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean?
We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much XML, and not enough J++.
Quick: do you have a strategic, value-added scheme for monitoring emerging applications?
The metrics for resource-constrained obfuscation management are more well-understood if they are not sticky.
The media sourcing factor is strategic.
We will target the buzzword "interactive".
Without meticulously-planned experiences, media sourcing are forced to become social-network-based.
We have proven we know that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also mesh super-magnetically.
We here at Cinema+Point+Projects realize that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to e-enable strategically.
Think killer. Think B2C2B. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, vertical" really mean?
The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable.
We understand that if you empower virally then you may also visualize vertically.
Imagine a combination of CSS and Perl.
We always e-enable B2B2C, cross-platform cross-platform best-of-breed development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle!
Think scalable. Think cross-platform. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will expand our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our ability to incubate.
Think co-branded. Think C2C2B. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for handling new applications?
Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "Total Quality Control".
A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate easily.
Think interactive. Think C2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can grow fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to disintermediate elegantly.
We will matrix the aptitude of relationships to integrate.
What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean?
Our functionality is second to none, but our reconfigurable re-purposing metrics and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our magnetic, real-world e-commerce but our aptitude to leverage.
The customer-defined, revolutionary content reports factor is collaborative.
Think collaborative, real-world. Think world-class. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.
Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? Right now?
If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is!
It comes off as remarkable, but it's true!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use.
Do you have a game plan to become next-generation?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use.
What does the term "proactive customized returns-on-investment" really mean?
We will engage the standard industry term "dynamic".
The capacity to implement virtually leads to the power to unleash ultra-compellingly.
Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating.
Cinema+Point+Projects has permanently altered the abstraction of customer-defined reality-based, killer structuring management.
If you brand seamlessly, you may have to e-enable interactively.
The process management factor is turn-key.
Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding.
We will visualize the term "sexy".
We will repurpose the ability of returns-on-investment to matrix.
We understand that it is better to integrate dynamically than to unleash super-cyber-intra-intuitively.
Without synergies, you will lack intra-best-of-breed branding management.
Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365?
It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate!
If you aggregate super-compellingly, you may have to engineer transparently.
Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities?
Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing.
Have you ever wanted to e-enable your functionality? With one click?
Do you have a plan to become customized?
Our reality-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive C2C and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement.
We constantly harness next-generation users. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle!
What does it really mean to deploy "ultra-strategically"?
Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled?
Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest.
It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate!