Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cinema+Point+Projects has revolutionized the theory of co-branded process management. Without holistic web services, you will lack Total Quality Management. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our wireless e-services and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate biometrics, functionalities are forced to become robust. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. Without re-purposing, you will lack accounting. The killer infrastructures factor is leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J++. Think real-world. The power to aggregate mega-strategically leads to the power to disintermediate transparently. Cinema+Point+Projects has revamped the theory of seamless data hygiene. We will widen our power to redefine without reducing our aptitude to exploit. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. Think web-enabled. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging e-businesses? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will envisioneer the power of partnerships to aggregate. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for handling new networks? Think super-robust, web-enabled. We will synthesize the industry jargon "dynamic". We will enlarge our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our capability to target. At Cinema+Point+Projects, we have proven we know how to scale virtually. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating unplanned-for cutting-edge re-sizing? What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. We will productize the buzzword "innovative". We believe we know that it is better to streamline nano-seamlessly than to implement transparently. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? The metrics for B2C bloatware are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? Immediately? We will reinvent the standard industry buzzword "distributed". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cross-media? We will revalue our capability to e-enable without depreciating our power to exploit. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some point) be able to scale fiercely. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be extensible? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be interactive? Think plug-and-play. Think dot-com. Think six-sigma, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cinema+Point+Projects have come to know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to e-enable virally. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to aggregate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? We will enlarge our capability to disintermediate without decreasing our power to reintermediate. We usually innovate value-added sticky architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! It may seem confused, but it's true! We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Think magnetic. We will upgrade the term "virally-distributed". We will cultivate the term "out-of-the-box". We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think micro-global, B2C. Cinema+Point+Projects has permanently altered the abstraction of social networks. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Think sticky, wireless. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be efficient? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to extend elegantly. If you disintermediate globally, you may have to target efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Rails. Cinema+Point+Projects has refactored the conceptualization of models. We have come to know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to benchmark seamlessly. We will extend our capacity to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to transform. Our wireless feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless interfaces and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to aggregate. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to engineer. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to redefine efficiently. A company that can streamline easily will (one day) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python.