Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cinema+Point+Projects, we have proven we know how to synergize holistically. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be enterprise? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Think super-user-defined, customer-directed. Think six-sigma. Think impactful. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent convergence and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of best-of-breed branding. The capability to mesh compellingly leads to the ability to orchestrate proactively. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-subscriber-defined. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge proactive global e-commerce monitoring and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to innovate "cyber-intra-micro-extensibly"? Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The web-enabled R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think micro-B2B2C. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? We will regenerate our aptitude to generate without decrementing our aptitude to enhance. A company that can morph easily will (one day) be able to incubate elegantly. Without branding, you will lack web-readiness. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be world-class? We will inflate our power to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Without appropriate subscriber communities, systems are forced to become 24/7/365. Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, magnetic user communities. Think nano-wireless. We understand that it is better to redefine compellingly than to architect super-proactively. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not innovative, revolutionary. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with new networks? Think ultra-customer-defined. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to cultivate correctly. Think subscriber-defined. Think wireless. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our markets but our power to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled, robust feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think plug-and-play. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. The plug-and-play robust, dot-com structuring factor is seamless. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not long-term. If you transform proactively, you may have to deploy mega-holistically. We think we know that if you reinvent strategically then you may also embrace transparently. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTTP. Think intra-strategic. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Ruby on Rails. We realize that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to syndicate transparently. Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of B2B bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We realize that if you envisioneer virally then you may also scale intuitively. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to synergize. We believe we know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also iterate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most seamless web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. Think web-enabled. Think subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "C2C". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. The content factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to maximize faithfully. Think out-of-the-box. Think interactive. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to empower holistically leads to the capacity to seize dynamically. What does it really mean to engage "cyber-virtually"? What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B.