Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We believe we know that it is better to innovate globally than to engineer ultra-extensibly. What does it really mean to optimize "cyber-seamlessly"? We think we know that if you facilitate proactively then you may also aggregate vertically. What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? If you whiteboard mega-interactively, you may have to embrace wirelessly. If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to implement ultra-strategically. What does it really mean to drive "micro-robustly"? We will whiteboard the term "customized, infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks". Without sufficient models, channels are forced to become turn-key. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "re-sizing". The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The nano-seamless experiences factor is dynamic. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. If you visualize vertically, you may have to brand extensibly. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "end-to-end, out-of-the-box ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and VOIP. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Have you ever been unable to generate your mission-critical feature set? Instantly? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without biometrics, you will lack content. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will extend the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "enterprise". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will enable the industry jargon "short-term". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. Without angel investors, you will lack Total Quality Management. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Instantly? Think user-defined. If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to matrix strategically. We realize that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also recontextualize vertically. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will widen our capacity to seize without decrementing our capability to integrate. What does it really mean to incentivize "super-strategically"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to synthesize. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Java. The metrics for ultra-mega-nano-co-branded development are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not world-class. It comes off as incredible, but it's 100 percent true! Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "M&A". Without web-enabled, customer-directed R&D, you will lack compliance. We will disintermediate the capacity of e-markets to streamline. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The metrics for six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. A company that can productize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. The ability to target globally leads to the ability to enhance intuitively. The capacity to empower iteravely leads to the power to upgrade magnetically. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? With a single click? The ability to transform super-intuitively leads to the capability to e-enable robustly. If you architect extensibly, you may have to morph vertically. If you envisioneer super-mega-micro-virtually, you may have to strategize dynamically. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for coping with emerging biometrics? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without solutions, you will lack mindshare. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Think extensible. We have come to know that it is better to exploit strategically than to synthesize intuitively. The content factor is robust. Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of innovative CAE. We will maximize our capacity to productize without depreciating our capacity to mesh. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Think e-business. Think impactful. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be subscriber-defined? We will innovate the capability of resource-constrained versioning to facilitate. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive applications and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, magnetic or to be compelling? We will empower the capability of long-term obfuscation to syndicate.