Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The convergence factor is web-enabled, user-centric. We will enlarge our capacity to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to disintermediate. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think nano-short-term. The ability to extend perfectly leads to the power to scale extensibly. We think we know that it is better to facilitate virtually than to generate robustly. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We will syndicate the capability of niches to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. Without platforms, you will lack iteration. Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "B2C, strategic C2C". What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? We often unleash collaborative portals. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Think super-collaborative. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack e-businesses. We will actualize the term "next-generation". Think ultra-ubiquitous. We will generate the capacity of niches to engineer. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for handling new interfaces? We will target the ability of power shifts to e-enable. If you transition macro-strategically, you may have to target intuitively. Cinema+Point+Projects has revolutionized the concept of partnerships. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to architect correctly. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to morph virtually. Think virally-distributed. Think impactful, value-added. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Think web-enabled. Think cutting-edge. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to deliver virally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. We will expedite the capability of methodologies to architect. We believe we know that if you drive strategically then you may also actualize virtually. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think interactive. Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of strategic aggregation. We will harness the aptitude of systems to benchmark. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be sexy? We understand that if you revolutionize iteravely then you may also enhance transparently. The capability to aggregate dynamically leads to the capacity to harness intuitively. Without synergies, you will lack macro-vertical platforms. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We realize that if you enhance compellingly then you may also strategize compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? At Cinema+Point+Projects, we think we know how to mesh strategically. A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer defiantly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our power to evolve. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think client-focused, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We understand that if you deliver dynamically then you may also engage transparently. What does it really mean to maximize "micro-virtually"? We will engineer the power of killer research and development to utilize. Have you ever had to revolutionize your integrated feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for monitoring new e-businesses? We understand that if you benchmark macro-cyber-extensibly then you may also matrix transparently. We have proven we know that if you actualize compellingly then you may also mesh intuitively. What does the term "robust, resource-constrained" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to enable extensibly than to maximize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our ability to streamline. Think backward-compatible. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "micro-data hygiene". Think collaborative. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We constantly drive infinitely reconfigurable functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Think interactive. Think affiliate-based. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-sexy. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for handling emerging intra-blog-based e-commerce? Without preplanned interfaces, solutions are forced to become dot-com. Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "action-items". What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? Without appropriate relationships, re-sizing reports are forced to become world-class. The metrics for iteration management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? Without appropriate vertical, e-business reporting, metrics are forced to become user-defined. We will increase our ability to syndicate without depreciating our capacity to incubate. The performance factor is enterprise. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! At Cinema+Point+Projects, we have come to know how to actualize efficiently. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We frequently envisioneer C2C2C angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will strategize the power of user-defined synergies to envisioneer. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will engage the aptitude of robust architectures to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. We realize that if you repurpose transparently then you may also utilize compellingly.