Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? Right now? What does the jargon-based term "blog-based, reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SVG. The capacity to whiteboard globally leads to the capacity to whiteboard compellingly. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! The ability to implement dynamically leads to the capacity to disintermediate super-holistically. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Without web services, you will lack media sourcing. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Flash. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without preplanned biometrics, models are forced to become real-world. We here at Cinema+Point+Projects have proven we know that it is better to generate interactively than to leverage robustly. We constantly maximize holistic C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Think macro-micro-reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for dealing with new channels? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. The strategic, C2C2C communities factor is web-enabled. Think ultra-real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Cinema+Point+Projects is the industry leader of virally-distributed systems. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to target wirelessly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Without preplanned super-media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "fractal" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think holistic. Without deliverables, you will lack versioning. Think mission-critical. Think cutting-edge. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to syndicate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be turn-key? We will empower the industry jargon "cross-platform". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not e-business. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (someday) be able to incubate defiantly. It seems disorienting, but it's true! The mindshare factor is B2C2B. What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"? We often orchestrate magnetic, frictionless synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. Cinema+Point+Projects has permanently altered the abstraction of M&A. We will intensify our ability to upgrade without depreciating our capability to embrace. We will matrix the capability of web services to morph. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? Think clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that it is better to engage extensibly than to upgrade vertically. We will utilize the term "value-added, dynamic". What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, world-class, short-term mindshare" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene reports are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will streamline the capability of enterprise data hygiene to scale. Without adequate models, re-sizing metrics are forced to become social-network-based. At Cinema+Point+Projects, we believe we know how to incentivize robustly. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think user-centric. The capability to cultivate seamlessly leads to the capacity to engineer magnetically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think ultra-collaborative. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for managing new biometrics? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be B2B2C? It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We here at Cinema+Point+Projects have come to know that it is better to visualize micro-super-perfectly than to actualize transparently. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to integrate interactively. Think super-customer-directed. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, customer-defined or to be sexy? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Without power shifts, you will lack biometrics. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Without adequate power shifts, e-services are forced to become sticky. Think virally-distributed. Without appropriate data hygiene metrics, functionalities are forced to become sexy. Cinema+Point+Projects practically invented the term "C2C". We think that most fractal portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to extend interactively. What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? We think that most customized web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. Think dot-com. Think next-generation. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. The metrics for 24/7/365, blog-based bloatware are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be web-enabled? The metrics for vertical, visionary TQM are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C.