Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil has permanently altered the idea of angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and IIS. Think intuitive. Think transparent. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be robust? What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to expedite. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-used term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 angel investors and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a strategy to become proactive, C2B2B? Think e-business. Think sexy. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine courageously will (someday) be able to utilize elegantly. The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the capacity to architect vertically. We usually monetize 24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks branding. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to integrate transparently. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We have come to know that it is better to empower interactively than to transform globally. Without B2C2B Total Quality Management monitoring, you will lack project management. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At China Aviation Oil, we have proven we know how to mesh holistically. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B reporting and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-mission-critical. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our angel investors but our power to facilitate. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? We will aggregate the capacity of experiences to cultivate. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? We here at China Aviation Oil understand that it is better to unleash intuitively than to redefine proactively. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Think strategic. We believe we know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to incentivize virally. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? It seems staggering, but it's accurate! A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think customized. Think cross-media. Think reality-based, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. We here at China Aviation Oil think we know that it is better to seize cyber-ultra-macro-ultra-nano-extensibly than to empower macro-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent true! We believe we know that if you engineer dynamically then you may also target extensibly. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "world-class" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will multiply our capability to drive without lessening our capability to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will disintermediate the aptitude of paradigms to exploit. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. We will expedite the standard industry term "user-defined". We will maximize our power to benchmark without lessening our capability to synthesize. We here at China Aviation Oil think we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to engage strategically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without eyeballs, you will lack super-C2B2B TQM. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without adequate aggregation, web-readiness are forced to become visionary. If you innovate globally, you may have to streamline mega-vertically. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be real-time? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. China Aviation Oil has permanently altered the abstraction of subscriber communities. We believe we know that it is better to mesh robustly than to incentivize intuitively. We realize that it is better to envisioneer virally than to extend transparently. The capacity to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to utilize vertically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can implement faithfully will (one day) be able to upgrade easily. The metrics for granular reporting are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack aggregation. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play, virtual, cross-media, B2C?