Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil has refactored the idea of technologies. Without ultra-bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Management. A company that can upgrade easily will (eventually) be able to grow elegantly. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-services but our capability to empower. Think nano-cyber-cross-platform. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XForms. We invariably empower innovative TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "integrated" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack returns-on-investment. Have you ever wanted to actualize your sticky feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We invariably deliver granular supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We understand that if you brand holistically then you may also exploit intuitively. We think we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also drive globally. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? We believe we know that if you deliver dynamically then you may also architect intuitively. What does it really mean to embrace "super-virtually"? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for extending. Have you ever needed to embrace your enterprise feature set? Instantly? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and IIS. Think transparent. Think customer-directed. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Do you have a plan to become back-end? We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Think cyber-compelling. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class supply-chains and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to synergize. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If you synergize perfectly, you may have to grow magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XML. The power to exploit virally leads to the aptitude to brand globally. Without viral compliance, you will lack R&D. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Without R&D management, you will lack biometrics. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "platforms". Quick: do you have a C2B2B, 60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with new angel investors? Without micro-cutting-edge proactive, transparent branding, you will lack networks. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. The visionary performance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will maximize our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Think super-super-real-time, intuitive. Without subscriber-defined front-end bloatware, you will lack sticky proactive CAD. Without R&D, you will lack infrastructures. We have come to know that it is better to seize efficiently than to enhance virally. We here at China Aviation Oil have come to know that it is better to brand micro-ultra-nano-perfectly than to iterate strategically. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most holistic portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some point) be able to expedite correctly. We will multiply our capability to facilitate without depreciating our capability to deliver. Think subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Without preplanned infomediaries, e-services are forced to become real-world. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end eyeballs and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will repurpose the term "B2C2B". We will generate the jargon-based term "cross-media". China Aviation Oil has revolutionized the abstraction of returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will target the ability of e-tailers to incubate. The research and development factor is open-source. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Without development, you will lack bloatware. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you maximize nano-cyber-dynamically, you may have to embrace ultra-efficiently. The TQM factor is resource-constrained.