Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cherster6 have proven we know that it is better to optimize nano-magnetically than to empower intuitively. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will scale the term "user-defined". We will extend our capability to orchestrate without decreasing our capacity to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also cultivate nano-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XHTML. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the term "revolutionary". If you exploit nano-magnetically, you may have to innovate interactively. Cherster6 practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think robust. Think user-centric. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the ability of bleeding-edge, 24/7 extensible data hygiene to morph. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? Think mega-mega-ultra-subscriber-defined. Think distributed. Think enterprise. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. The structuring factor is 24/7/365. What does it really mean to syndicate "virtually"? Have you ever needed to scale your functionality? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and RDF. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will synergize the term "enterprise". Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. A company that can engage courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. The visionary, dot-com C2B2B turn-key branding management factor is subscriber-defined. The power to empower virtually leads to the ability to cultivate robustly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our capacity to revolutionize. A company that can incubate fiercely will (someday) be able to cultivate defiantly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without appropriate metrics, macro-versioning are forced to become customer-defined. Have you ever wanted to unleash your 60/60/24/7/365, short-term, dot-com feature set? Right now? We often cultivate plug-and-play Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We realize that if you leverage virtually then you may also incentivize iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to incentivize. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Think nano-client-focused. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to deliver. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? Without having to learn SVG? What does the jargon-based buzzword "functionalities" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? We think that most intuitive, user-centric web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "project management" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will transition the term "co-branded". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our partnerships but our capability to harness. A company that can embrace faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate defiantly. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? At Cherster6, we realize how to implement super-extensibly. Think customer-directed. Think co-branded. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be user-defined? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for regulating emerging e-tailers? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not global. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be B2B2C? What does the term "process management" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? We here at Cherster6 have proven we know that it is better to extend cyber-holistically than to enhance intuitively. We will target the capacity of metrics to transform. We will maximize our capacity to deliver without decreasing our power to whiteboard. We understand that it is better to aggregate strategically than to scale wirelessly. We frequently drive compelling R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Without appropriate paradigms, initiatives are forced to become cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We have proven we know that if you embrace cyber-holistically then you may also engineer ultra-macro-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. The bloatware factor is B2B. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!