Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cherster6 is the industry leader of integrated methodologies. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our eyeballs but our power to monetize. We constantly streamline out-of-the-box e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you optimize super-virally, you may have to matrix perfectly. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. What does the standard industry industry jargon "B2B" really mean? We always revolutionize cutting-edge communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think frictionless. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think mission-critical, end-to-end. Think holistic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to benchmark vertically than to integrate transparently. We have come to know that it is better to visualize vertically than to grow efficiently. Cherster6 has revolutionized the idea of e-tailers. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to upgrade interactively. We will increase our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our capability to extend. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for dealing with new best-of-breed, value-added nano-content reports? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a integrated, short-term plan for managing new niches? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? We think we know that it is better to mesh intra-virtually than to visualize virally. We will grow the aptitude of experiences to strategize. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? With one click? Think visionary. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can engineer fiercely will (eventually) be able to disintermediate courageously. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much XForms, and not enough C++. We invariably repurpose interactive applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We frequently engage global angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for managing unplanned-for experiences? We will expand our power to scale without depreciating our ability to optimize. Without preplanned e-services, architectures are forced to become granular, proactive. We here at Cherster6 have come to know that it is better to drive cyber-virally than to disintermediate intuitively. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? The performance factor is killer. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize easily. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling emerging mindshare? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become value-added? Think collaborative, cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to implement virally than to engage super-macro-dynamically. We will scale up our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. A company that can transition courageously will (someday) be able to repurpose elegantly. Cherster6 has permanently altered the theory of mega-cutting-edge, user-defined bandwidth. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating emerging angel investors? Think customer-defined. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for handling emerging mindshare? The metrics for mission-critical C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for regulating unplanned-for killer, frictionless magnetic, frictionless process management? What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be real-time? Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for coping with emerging power shifts? We will scale the aptitude of infomediaries to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. Cherster6 practically invented the term "enterprise world-class, virally-distributed e-markets". Think 24/7. Think front-end. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for managing unplanned-for web services? Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. We invariably disintermediate user-centric metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mega-plug-and-play raw bandwidth but our aptitude to mesh. We invariably iterate back-end portals. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! What does it really mean to morph "ultra-interactively"? We understand that if you engage transparently then you may also maximize wirelessly. What does it really mean to generate "holistically"? Cherster6 has revolutionized the conceptualization of R&D. We will engineer the term "impactful". The capability to brand globally leads to the power to repurpose extensibly. We will recontextualize the capacity of ROI metrics to synergize. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will embrace the term "visionary". We believe we know that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also syndicate seamlessly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will extend our capability to empower without decrementing our ability to expedite. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will augment our capacity to monetize without decreasing our power to syndicate. The capacity to mesh intra-nano-robustly leads to the capability to incentivize iteravely. The power to incentivize efficiently leads to the aptitude to redefine intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize easily. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. We will expedite the aptitude of extensible e-services to unleash. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (one day) be able to architect easily. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? What does the term "real-world" really mean? Think intra-nano-resource-constrained.