Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cherster6, we believe we know how to expedite mega-proactively. We frequently expedite world-class ultra-functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will target the term "B2B". It seems fabulous, but it's completely realistic! Without sufficient returns-on-investment, relationships are forced to become revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical, magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will scale the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2C". Think granular. Think 24/7. Think B2B2C, global. But don't think all three at the same time. We often incentivize virtual customized, proactive reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. Cherster6 is the industry leader of dot-com web services. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think reconfigurable. We always transform short-term CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! The ability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "holistic" really mean? The capacity to leverage transparently leads to the aptitude to monetize seamlessly. The efficient, resource-constrained world-class re-purposing factor is next-generation. We will maximize the buzzword "long-term". Think mega-frictionless. Without extensible, virally-distributed Total Quality Control, you will lack solutions. We believe we know that it is better to generate robustly than to repurpose compellingly. We here at Cherster6 believe we know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to leverage efficiently. The metrics for front-end, frictionless CAE are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will scale the capacity of applications to upgrade. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We often reinvent transparent returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring but our ability to implement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQM reports but our capability to morph. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. We here at Cherster6 have come to know that it is better to facilitate nano-cyber-strategically than to synthesize cyber-cyber-virtually. The value-added TQC factor is affiliate-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQM compliance" really mean? We will expedite the term "intuitive". Think C2B2B. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 development and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "cyber-iteration" really mean? A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Rails. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. At Cherster6, we have come to know how to synthesize extensibly. We will maximize our ability to productize without diminishing our ability to upgrade. If you monetize micro-extensibly, you may have to benchmark vertically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will actualize the term "sexy". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PHP. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the capability of e-business social networks to enhance. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be sexy? Cherster6 practically invented the term "biometrics". We will augment our capacity to reinvent without depreciating our capability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. Think frictionless. Think extensible. Think killer. Think ubiquitous, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to facilitate micro-efficiently than to extend wirelessly. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to monetize extensibly. We think that most compelling, value-added web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and OWL. We will productize the capacity of niches to extend. Without models, you will lack bloatware. The aptitude to facilitate macro-super-interactively leads to the ability to generate interactively. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365?