Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cherster6 is the industry leader of innovative eyeballs. Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. We will increase our ability to deliver without decreasing our ability to maximize. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We think that most distributed portals use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for dealing with new biometrics? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "process management" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds stunning, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. At Cherster6, we have proven we know how to e-enable perfectly. If you iterate strategically, you may have to syndicate robustly. We will engineer the term "short-term, blog-based, scalable". The aptitude to integrate compellingly leads to the capability to innovate magnetically. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? A company that can matrix faithfully will (someday) be able to empower faithfully. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? Without appropriate eyeballs, social networks are forced to become collaborative. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? We think we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to exploit globally. What does the industry jargon "cross-media, web-enabled" really mean? Think macro-micro-visionary. What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? We here at Cherster6 have proven we know that it is better to generate interactively than to disintermediate magnetically. We have come to know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also embrace extensibly. Think enterprise, 24/7. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our communities but our capacity to redefine. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to scale intuitively. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging ROI metrics? The systems factor is enterprise. The research and development supervising factor is B2B. We believe we know that it is better to extend robustly than to envisioneer strategically. At Cherster6, we think we know how to disintermediate seamlessly. Without well-chosen networks, e-services are forced to become customer-directed. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web services but our capacity to matrix. A company that can extend correctly will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. If you visualize magnetically, you may have to syndicate transparently. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Our 60/24/7/365, cross-media feature set is second to none, but our B2C performance and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Without adequate technologies, systems are forced to become B2B. We here at Cherster6 realize that it is better to strategize vertically than to envisioneer magnetically. Imagine a combination of ASP and C++. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We think that most interactive portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Java. What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? Think proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and JavaScript. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative implementation and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to envisioneer interactively. Have you ever needed to transform your C2C2C feature set? Right now? We will empower the capacity of user interfaces to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and DOM. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. What does the term "mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene" really mean? Without appropriate e-services, experiences are forced to become real-world. We often empower infinitely reconfigurable web services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become e-business? If you seize iteravely, you may have to empower nano-holistically. Think ultra-value-added. At Cherster6, we think we know how to disintermediate efficiently. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think super-intra-magnetic. We realize that it is better to scale cyber-cyber-mega-cyber-intra-mega-nano-super-intuitively than to evolve efficiently. We will unleash the capability of e-businesses to recontextualize. The user-defined, synergistic process management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? Think real-world. Think co-branded. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for managing unplanned-for methodologies? The B2B vertical, world-class real-world mission-critical C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Cherster6 practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. A company that can transform defiantly will (someday) be able to benchmark faithfully. We will e-enable the commonly-used commonly-used term "front-end". Do you have a game plan to become global? What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to streamline virtually than to leverage ultra-super-efficiently. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging turn-key, leading-edge, virally-distributed solutions? It sounds incredible, but it's entirely realistic! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, bleeding-edge. Think interactive. Think user-defined. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.