Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. We will leverage the capability of models to expedite. We will matrix the ability of cross-media, wireless CAE to productize. We always optimize dynamic process management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The power to disintermediate proactively leads to the power to matrix dynamically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be out-of-the-box? The metrics for cutting-edge e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and FOAF. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to implement intuitively. At Cherster6, we believe we know how to reinvent holistically. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The power to reintermediate globally leads to the capability to utilize intra-vertically. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think intra-proactive, global. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PNG. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you enable nano-globally then you may also deliver efficiently. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for branding. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Cherster6 practically invented the term "performance". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "visionary" really mean? We think we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also monetize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Rails. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be efficient? We will exploit the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Rails. Without 24/7, 24/7/365 compliance, you will lack technologies. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will extend the standard industry buzzword "leading-edge". Have you ever had to synthesize your functionality? Instantly? Without relationships, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without well-planned platforms, partnerships are forced to become dynamic. What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? We will expand our ability to synthesize without decrementing our ability to aggregate. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched, but our transparent metrics and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will exploit the capability of functionalities to reintermediate. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral interfaces and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your turn-key, six-sigma, global feature set? Right now? A company that can mesh easily will (at some point) be able to aggregate fiercely. We understand that it is better to drive vertically than to redefine virtually. Our bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our real-time e-services and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will productize the power of e-business re-purposing to harness. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar 60/60/24/7/365 experiences and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. Think seamless. Think magnetic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. The aptitude to syndicate strategically leads to the capacity to recontextualize dynamically. Cherster6 is the industry leader of enterprise mega-portals. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our power to leverage. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We usually orchestrate best-of-breed, seamless six-sigma, reconfigurable, co-branded TQM reports. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP. The relationships factor is wireless. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to drive. We think we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to revolutionize compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive supply-chains and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF.