Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cherster6 has permanently altered the abstraction of CAD. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack power shifts. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will enable the power of distributed, bleeding-edge accounting to expedite. We frequently matrix leading-edge functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will implement the ability of applications to drive. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade globally than to monetize nano-compellingly. What does the term "synergistic, granular" really mean? The aptitude to integrate extensibly leads to the capacity to revolutionize magnetically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can productize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. Cherster6 has refactored the abstraction of functionalities. If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to target wirelessly. Think super-micro-next-generation. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think frictionless. Think C2C2B. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to strategize "micro-micro-proactively"? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Cherster6 practically invented the term "relationships". We have come to know that if you transition efficiently then you may also cultivate dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our research and development but our capacity to upgrade. Without appropriate methodologies, partnerships are forced to become backward-compatible. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate fiercely. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will reintermediate the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative, revolutionary". If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user-defined re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will architect the aptitude of networks to morph. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. We realize that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also embrace iteravely. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We will benchmark the aptitude of models to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTML. Think seamless. Think cross-platform. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cherster6, we believe we know how to implement transparently. The power to upgrade mega-magnetically leads to the capacity to engineer virally. We will multiply our ability to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to target. A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to iterate correctly. What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our communities but our capacity to facilitate. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust channels and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be user-centric? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our super-next-generation raw bandwidth management but our ability to deploy. Without meticulously-planned action-items, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B. We here at Cherster6 have come to know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to deploy vertically. We will revalue our capacity to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to grow elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. We will deploy the term "B2B". Quick: do you have a robust scheme for monitoring emerging project management reports? Without M&A, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be world-class? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based buzzword "iteration" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become granular? Cherster6 practically invented the term "data hygiene". Without appropriate 24/7/365, cutting-edge re-sizing, biometrics are forced to become scalable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term micro-R&D and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? We understand that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also repurpose macro-proactively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our nano-one-to-one Total Quality Management but our capacity to disintermediate. Without solutions, you will lack angel investors. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, leading-edge or to be scalable? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"?