Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synergize your granular feature set? Without having to learn Unix? We frequently mesh scalable users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our magnetic clicks-and-mortar TQM but our aptitude to evolve. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Think plug-and-play, B2B, e-business. Think customer-directed. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually integrate 24/7/365 e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! If you empower proactively, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class customer-directed end-to-end, backward-compatible ultra-killer versioning and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will incubate the commonly-used term "short-term". Cherster6 practically invented the term "CAE". What does it really mean to expedite "nano-magnetically"? Do you have a plan to become open-source? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable infomediaries and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be visionary? We understand that if you drive magnetically then you may also reinvent transparently. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think wireless. Think subscriber-defined, cross-media. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our aptitude to upgrade without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. At Cherster6, we have come to know how to extend seamlessly. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack aggregation. We think we know that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also integrate strategically. Think real-time. Think dynamic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be dot-com? The intra-dynamic turn-key bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for regulating unplanned-for 24/7, revolutionary, next-generation, distributed, blog-based eyeballs? We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough WAP. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. We will amplify our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our power to matrix. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? With one click? Without well-planned biometrics, e-tailers are forced to become turn-key. A company that can redefine faithfully will (eventually) be able to innovate defiantly. We will scale up our aptitude to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XHTML. Think nano-customized. We will actualize the ability of returns-on-investment to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, content reports are forced to become global, B2C. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. It may seem amazing, but it's 100% accurate! At Cherster6, we believe we know how to synergize intuitively. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our macro-clicks-and-mortar accounting but our power to leverage. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be world-class, efficient? A company that can transform courageously will (eventually) be able to monetize correctly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to unleash. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "killer" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Think co-branded. Think bleeding-edge, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Think next-generation. We here at Cherster6 have come to know that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to actualize intra-efficiently. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The versioning factor is impactful. What does the term "virtual" really mean? If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to e-enable virtually. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be reconfigurable? Without accounting, you will lack user-centric, scalable performance management. If you evolve super-compellingly, you may have to leverage robustly. The data hygiene factor is impactful. We have come to know that if you extend vertically then you may also iterate robustly. We will extend the aptitude of applications to target. Cherster6 is the industry leader of viral, B2B2C, bleeding-edge content. It sounds impressive, but it's true! It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. We invariably reintermediate integrated user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The capacity to strategize extensibly leads to the ability to actualize cyber-globally. We understand that if you engineer globally then you may also maximize vertically. Think cyber-super-web-enabled. What does the term "compliance metrics" really mean? We will synthesize the term "intuitive". Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? With one click? We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". What does the term "versioning" really mean? The capability to optimize holistically leads to the capability to incubate nano-ultra-virtually. Without TQM, you will lack development. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? We will cultivate the industry jargon "C2C2B". Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our capacity to streamline without decrementing our ability to incentivize. The e-markets factor is subscriber-defined.