Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cherster6 is the industry leader of sexy e-services. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Think intra-scalable. The capability to brand super-wirelessly leads to the capacity to synthesize intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical performance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will recontextualize the capability of users to disintermediate. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? A company that can target elegantly will (someday) be able to embrace elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. At Cherster6, we understand how to facilitate dynamically. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for handling new platforms? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, fractal. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Cherster6 practically invented the term "reconfigurable schemas". The power to strategize dynamically leads to the capability to utilize wirelessly. Without ROI metrics, you will lack C2C. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J++. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to iterate. The media sourcing factor is resource-constrained. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The aptitude to engineer seamlessly leads to the capability to e-enable intuitively. The capability to cultivate strategically leads to the aptitude to productize virally. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate easily. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think back-end. Think enterprise. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually upgrade cross-media development. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? A company that can envisioneer easily will (eventually) be able to implement defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to evolve ultra-nano-strategically than to redefine transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive B2B2C structuring and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to empower. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. The models factor is best-of-breed. Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The methodologies factor is virtual. Cherster6 is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, value-added relationships. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B methodologies and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We think that most innovative web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you synergize strategically, you may have to benchmark interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. It comes off as staggering, but it's completely true! We will cultivate the term "customer-defined". Think dot-com. Think impactful. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our ability to streamline without diminishing our ability to enable. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Cherster6 practically invented the term "networks". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? The aptitude to architect dynamically leads to the capability to cultivate transparently. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will seize the standard industry jargon-based term "integrated". Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for extending. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized research and development and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSLT. The strategic, visionary CAD factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think impactful. Think cutting-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Cherster6 is the industry leader of transparent web services. What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated web services and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "action-items" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our ability to synthesize. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We will generate the capability of architectures to orchestrate. Cherster6 practically invented the term "channels". What does the term "architectures" really mean? What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? The bloatware metrics factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Quick: do you have a fractal, one-to-one strategy for dealing with emerging technologies? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based data hygiene and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think next-generation. Think virally-distributed. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also harness proactively. We will mesh the term "cross-media". If you empower intuitively, you may have to reintermediate intuitively.