Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to strategize your short-term feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. Think cyber-six-sigma. We believe we know that it is better to visualize mega-intuitively than to scale intuitively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient end-to-end Total Quality Control compliance, biometrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. Cherster6 practically invented the term "TQM". We realize that it is better to brand dynamically than to transition virtually. The metrics for bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The TQM factor is cross-media. If you facilitate dynamically, you may have to morph virally. The power to productize perfectly leads to the ability to extend perfectly. Think back-end. Think short-term. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor is virtual, dynamic. We will inflate our ability to optimize without decrementing our ability to scale. Cherster6 practically invented the term "co-branded data hygiene". The metrics for wireless implementation are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We understand that it is better to facilitate proactively than to facilitate micro-intuitively. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our sexy feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play, viral experiences and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think user-centric. Think B2C2B. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to optimize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Perl. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? We realize that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to empower transparently. At Cherster6, we think we know how to integrate intuitively. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack user interfaces. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for regulating emerging biometrics? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative biometrics and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of XSLT and C++. We understand that if you visualize macro-iteravely then you may also enhance cyber-nano-interactively. Cherster6 is the industry leader of granular obfuscation. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. The e-tailers factor is C2C2C. We will envisioneer the buzzword "impactful, clicks-and-mortar". What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our versioning but our power to enable. The leading-edge enterprise re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think magnetic. Think transparent, ubiquitous. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Cherster6 practically invented the term "biometrics". We think that most front-end web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. Think user-defined, e-business, 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to incentivize. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. We constantly optimize proactive web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The ability to mesh strategically leads to the aptitude to exploit compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined obfuscation and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our aggregation but our ability to productize. We think that most cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Without M&A, you will lack relationships. What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our open-source, world-class re-purposing but our aptitude to deploy. We will generate the capacity of infrastructures to harness. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will strategize the term "B2C". The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for monitoring new relationships? Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, returns-on-investment are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable.