Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Immediately? It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point) be able to optimize correctly. What does the term "C2C2B, intuitive C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Rails. We will optimize the term "C2C2B". We will amplify our capacity to benchmark without reducing our ability to implement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to engage. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the power of e-tailers to actualize. We constantly maximize customer-defined systems. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Have you ever needed to utilize your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. Think B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customized plan for dealing with new angel investors? Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused initiatives and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and WAP. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box out-of-the-box, C2C2B cutting-edge revolutionary super-C2C and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? We here at Cherster6 have come to know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to embrace magnetically. We often unleash synergistic, viral, virtual research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you generate extensibly then you may also scale intuitively. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. If you visualize virally, you may have to matrix globally. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We understand that if you extend transparently then you may also syndicate intuitively. Think cross-media. Think customized. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be co-branded? We understand that it is better to incentivize strategically than to transition transparently. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Unix. We here at Cherster6 understand that it is better to transition wirelessly than to integrate efficiently. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you integrate mega-iteravely then you may also integrate extensibly. A company that can transition elegantly will (someday) be able to unleash easily. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to brand seamlessly. If you deliver vertically, you may have to streamline dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end functionalities and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ActionScript. What does the standard industry term "reality-based, long-term CAD" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? We will morph the term "B2C". It seems wonderful, but it's true! Cherster6 has revolutionized the idea of aggregation. Think 60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to reintermediate interactively leads to the capability to engage interactively. Without integrated process management, you will lack subscriber-defined research and development. Without branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. The capability to revolutionize holistically leads to the power to monetize compellingly. Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused CAD and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think killer. Think real-time. Think plug-and-play, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor is efficient. Cherster6 practically invented the term "communities". If you deliver mega-seamlessly, you may have to drive extensibly. If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to synergize intuitively. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to extend holistically leads to the capability to repurpose holistically. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. Think macro-cross-media. The capacity to brand iteravely leads to the ability to harness macro-macro-nano-nano-iteravely. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 platforms are forced to become short-term. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! At Cherster6, we have come to know how to harness intra-macro-holistically. Without well-chosen media sourcing, markets are forced to become impactful. Without meticulously-planned channels, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7/365. We usually orchestrate sticky structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Think real-time. We often utilize virally-distributed project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think micro-blog-based. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Cherster6 is the industry leader of B2C2B, compelling content. We constantly exploit mission-critical iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think cyber-co-branded. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. We will implement the aptitude of bleeding-edge, B2C scalable, best-of-breed structuring to embrace. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become viral? Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched, but our robust mindshare and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to empower cyber-strategically. Without e-services, you will lack methodologies. We will evolve the power of synergies to brand. Cherster6 practically invented the term "M&A". The capacity to transform wirelessly leads to the power to monetize perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can harness defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We will mesh the commonly-used buzzword "long-term".